It was wet. It's really sour. That's why I like
it. Well, you know what that sound means. Yes,
Jill's right. It's Game for a Movie. The podcast
where we ask, are you game for a movie? I'm your
host, Mike. I'm joined by Jill. Andre. Yes, that
was amazing. Oh, my God. When people ask, when
people ask, do we have a catchphrase? Yes. Yes,
we do. It is our bad movie episode. We are drinking
things. Yes. Jill, we'll go with you first. Still
drinking the same thing from last week, I guess.
Well, no, wait. This is going to. Air first.
Oh, God. We're in a time portal. We're in a time
portal. All right. So we recorded our movie banter
episode already. That's going to come out next
week. So you're drinking the same from that.
But let's let these listeners know. So right
now I am drinking from Labyrinth Brewing, which
is a Connecticut brewery. Sour Batch number three.
It is a sour IPA brewed with apricot plum and
lactose. And it is delicious and tart. Wait,
is the logo Sour Batch? You'll guess that later.
Andre, what are you drinking? I am drinking the
Iconic. Let me start from Alvarium Brewing Company
in New Britain, Connecticut. Nice. We are Alvarium
fan people. Yes, you are. And as we'll be saying
next week, we are Alvarium fan people. You might
as well be wearing an Alvarium t -shirt. It's
true. This is very confusing with this whole
thing. I am drinking from Stony Creek Brewing.
In beautiful Brantford, Connecticut. Space potato.
We're all Connecticut at the table. It's called
space potato. Space potato. I love the side.
It says, way to go, Idaho. This hazy New England
IPA is chock full of Idaho jam and galaxy hops,
and it'll suck you in like an event horizon of
flavor. 7 .2 % and tinfoil hat ready. You know
what? On that horizon, we should watch that sometimes.
I love that movie. I realize I didn't say what
The Honey Shot was, did I? You did not. The Honey
Shot is a New England dipper. Dipper? New England
double IPA with citron wildflower honey. Dipper.
And it's delicious. It's great. It's my favorite
Connecticut beer. Yeah, I was going to say, if
you want a Connecticut beer, this is it. Yeah,
I think that's it. That's a good one. Mine's
Headway. That's usually my go -to. Headway is
also great. Yeah, that's a Connecticut beer that
I usually recommend. I also pulled up Event Horizon.
It is the most... that i've seen in a while split
from rotten tomatoes critics to audience critics
say 29 audience say 61 wait like this is laurence
fishburne yeah laurence fish yeah laurence fishburne
the man who can't cut it that is way better than
a 20 wait wait you said 29 for for critics for
critics yes i can see why the critics didn't
like it because also the film the theatrical
version is not having parts edited out so like
there's a whole like There's parts that they
added and had extra set footage filmed. People
didn't get in. And when you see that extra footage,
it doesn't really add much other than you get
to see just the monstrosity of the situation.
But it also does kind of further why the stakes
are what they are. I feel like the Dead Space
video games have made that movie retroactively
way better in my head. They so directly pull
from that movie. So it's hard not to really like
that movie in my opinion. That's fair. So speaking
of movies that don't really have much of a split
on their Rotten Tomatoes number. Yes. Let's talk
about the bad movie. I watched the bad movie
this week. I'm so sorry. It was 2005's crime
drama Edison. Yes. Everyone knows this classic
film that came out. It is a 13%. Critics, 36
% audience. I had no idea this movie existed
before you said, hey, I found it. Well, I found
it for free on Vudu and on Peacock. Okay. Vudu
had commercials. I watched it on Vudu because
it kind of came at the worst possible times.
Yeah. It was great. I have a few marked spots
when I get to my notes of this movie. Is it called
Edison or Edison Force? Edison. It was called
Edison Force. In the United States. Are you ready
for this? This is a good story about this. I'm
braced. So Edison released at a film festival,
fully prepared to get distributors, stuff like
that, get it to theaters. Everybody expected
full theater release. Went to the film festival,
straight to DVD release. Wow. That's how bad
it was. Wow. Not reading the sign. Yeah, they
did not. It is written and directed by David
S. Burke. David S. Burke. Your script was miserable.
And he's known for writing other things such
as... Okay, what do you got? He also directed
it. Yes, that's what I was saying. He wrote and
directed. Sequest, too. Yes, Sequest. Sequest,
too. Wise guy. He's written a bunch of episodes
of The Glades, which I used to love The Glades.
That was a good show. Some Law & Order Special
Victims Unit. La Femme Nikita. Wrote a couple
episodes of that. Jake and the Fat Man. That
was a TV show back in the 90s. Yeah. Miami Vice
he did some episodes for. Yeah. So he's got a
niche. He's got a crime niche is what we will
say. He also wrote what was the one that I wanted
to mention. Maybe he didn't write it, but he
directed it. uh directing wise he seems more
of a tv man yes i would agree with that um sorry
we're pulling this up as we're doing this i should
have had this ready it was a presidential thing
the prosecution of an american president which
was the story of george bush um during the basically
the war, when George Bush said we go to war.
So, all right, there we go. David S. Burke, he's
a dude. This movie, because we need to mention
who's in it. Right, star -studded cast. It actually
kind of is a star -studded cast. It really is.
Like, even the small characters are big names.
So it's Morgan Freeman, Kevin Give Us Some Spacey,
Justin Timberlake, LL Cool J, Dylan McDermott,
John Heard, Carrie Elwes, Rosalind Sanchez. Carrie,
no. Damian Wayans, who's related, yes. Damian
Wayans. Damian Dante Wayans. Damian Dante Wayans.
And Piper Parabo are the names I want to mention.
So let's get into it. This came out when, 2006?
2005. 2005, and it is very much 2005. It's interesting,
Anthony Head is not Anthony Stewart. No, John
Heard. I don't know why I thought it was Anthony
Stewart. Yeah, no, it is John Hurd. So the very
beginning of this movie, we get a bunch of production
company, like, you know, their title screens
and everything like that. I didn't recognize
a single one. Oh, boy. Bad start. Yeah. Yeah.
Millennium Productions was the one that sticks
out in my head right now. Okay. I'm going to
look that up. So the beginning of the movie,
it introduces you to Edison, which is the town.
The one in New Jersey? No. I think this is in
California. Okay. This is a made up town. So
what's funny about this whole thing is Edison,
New Jersey had a similar thing happen like a
couple of years before where there was a corrupt
police force. So everybody thought it was just
a story of that. No, he picked the name because
he thought Edison sounded cool because Thomas
Edison. Okay. Okay. Yes. Not a coincidence at
all. We are introduced to Edison. There's a bunch
of signs that say Better Edison Foundation. They're
trying to make Edison the best it can be, including
they're trying to get the Olympics. We learn
later in the movie, but I'm jumping ahead here.
That's ambitious. Yes. The beginning of the movie
starts with, I don't know. It must be St. Patrick's
Day because there's Irish dancers. There's Irish
dancers doing like this dance on the stage right
next to a bank that is being robbed. These guys
have like machine guns. They have body armor,
whatever, that kind of stuff. So they send in
their special unit frat. What does that break
down to mean? I have it later. I have it later.
Let's see if I can find it. First response and
tactical unit. First response and tactical unit.
So frat unit. Oh, did they just say frat unit?
Yeah, the frat unit. That's cheating. Bring in
frat. It's frat 2. No, they didn't. They just
say frat. It's easy enough to say. What's the
tagline for this movie? Well, right, but stars,
whatever, it's fine. All right, what's the tagline
for this movie? Corruption, righteousness, lawless.
In this city, only the cops are above the law.
Also, the grammar in this tagline is horrible.
Well, okay. Jesus. Only the cops are above the
law. Holy shit. Look at the commas. Yeah, it's
rough. And like, is this what you're doing? Is
this two taglines? Only the cops are above the
law. Jesus Christ. So you know we're dealing
with a corrupt police force. That's what we're
dealing with. I have an inkling. Yes. So these
guys are robbing this bank. Frat comes in. It's
Dylan McDermott and a rookie LL Cool J. He's
obviously new to the frat unit. They grab their
guns from the back and it's just this all out
shootout. And basically like they're, they're
killing these guys. Nobody's hitting the frat
units. Dylan McDermott has a sniper rifle. Oh
no. Yes. Yes. This police force has all the funding.
What I will say at this point is I applaud the
movie so far. Yeah. They have reloaded. It's
not just like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
They reload. Like there's actual, they're counting.
Yeah. So I will give it to the movie. At least
they were paying attention to that. There's a
lot of other things that they were not paying
attention to. This is not a commando situation.
This is not a commando situation. So one of the
lines came on the screen and said the music was
done by Machine Head. I don't know who Machine
Head is, but I just find that name hysterical.
Sure. Okay. So one of the bad guys. The last
bad guy remaining. And Dylan McDermott shouts
at this point, come out, come out, wherever you
are with a sniper rifle. Because he's just blown,
like, holes in people. It's literally an explosion.
You know, I've killed men high. Exactly. The
last guy has an Irish dancer and is, like, holding
her hostage. And so Dylan McDermott is, like,
right here. As close as I am to Andre right now.
With a sniper rifle? With a sniper rifle. Okay.
How could it take a while to shoot and all that?
Well, so he literally just goes, it's going to
be okay to the Irish dancer. Shoots her through
the shoulder to hit the guy behind her. What?
And he just, like, explodes, essentially. But
she doesn't explode? No, it just goes through
her shoulder and then, like, opens a hole in
this guy's back. But how does it not go frag
through her? Yeah, right. What is this magic
bullet? Yes, exactly. Okay. Yeah, so that's the
introduction to them. They're obviously badasses.
They're the frat unit. Like, this is, yeah, whatever.
It flashes forward to that same night. LL Cool
J and Dylan McDermott now are breaking into an
abandoned place where there's squatters that
are selling drugs. So they break in. They're
robbing these crackheads. Basically, these crackheads
are in their boxers. They're like, shirts off
they're obviously sleeping in this house uh they
get held down at gunpoint like hands behind their
head and everything like that they steal the
money because they're corrupt they don't do anything
with the drugs they're just like whatever and
the one guy talks shit to mcdermott and so he's
just like all right rookie kill him Kill him.
And like, like, yeah, pretty much. Like he's
trying to, he's trying to get them to like, yeah.
Yeah. You know? Yeah. Break your cherry. Then
you're officially part of frat. Like, you know,
this is initiation. Yeah. You have what it takes.
Yeah, exactly. um obviously ll cool j kind of
resists and you're just like okay so we know
our weak link in this at the very beginning of
the movie so dylan mcdermott goes all right fine
kills him cold blood he's dead classic second
guy he hands him the gun but ll cool j's gun
not dylan mcdermott's gun because there's even
a line of don't worry rookie you'll get a new
one and basically says to the other crackhead
um He came at you with a knife, right? And you
shot him because you got this gun. He came at
you with a knife, right? Blah, blah, blah. And
the guy's just like, yeah, whatever, whatever.
Just wanted to survive. Tell me. All right. He
came at me with a knife and I shot him. Okay.
Let's him go. This is a wonderful acting. Steals
the money. Yeah. My acting? Because it was better
on screen. I was about to say, like, Angel, are
you judging Mike's? Yeah. Wow. No, no, no. I
personally am enthralled right now. But imagine,
so they shot him with Dylan McDermott's gun,
which is obviously a different caliber. Like
it was a six shooter essentially. And they give
him LL Cool J's gun, which was like an automatic.
Oh God. Okay. So that's not going to pass any
muster for any sort of ballistics investigation.
If they were to actually do it. But, you know,
movie. Yeah. So they're in court and basically
LL Cool J is testifying and saying why they let
the other guy go. And it was because he said,
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, like, help me. And like
he oversells it. It's really like over the top
and everything like that. And Dylan McDermott
gets mad at him. He's just like, just straight
testimony. You don't need to do this. Like, yeah,
exactly. Justin Timberlake is the reporter in
there. Okay. Talking about the crime. Not a cop.
No, he is a reporter. He's going to be our main
guy. He's going to uncover fart. I mean, frat.
Frat. Yeah, fart. So Justin Timberlake works
for the Jewish newspaper. What? The Herald Gazette.
It's literally called like the Herald Gazette.
I don't know if it's Jewish. They mention it.
They say it's kind of near explicitly. Yes. So
is he a good Jewish boy in this movie? No, because
they're saying it's like the paper nobody reads
and it comes back to he couldn't get a job at
the Times because he had one sentence of fact
in his story where the rest was speculation about
Frat being like suspect. Because as LL Cool J
is walking off the stand, the defendant who was
just acting in self -defense to kill the guy
with the knife, says thank you to him. Because
they're going to get him an easier sentence.
So, Justin Timberlake, JT in my notes, plays
a hotshot reporter who thinks he can outdo his
editor. His editor... Is he Jewish? Morgan Freeman.
No, he's not. Very Jewish. The Jewish boy, Morgan
Freeman. Morgan Freeman's like, you don't do
the work. You just give me all the speculation
over a one -sentence true story. So... He fires
him. Oh, let's him go. Okay. Yes. Yes. He says,
you're never going to get to the times like you
want to, because you just do all this speculation
by blah, blah, blah. Uh, so it flashes to Justin
Timberlake and his girlfriend, Piper Parabo.
Okay. She's, um, she's been a lot of things.
Yeah. One of those, like, oh, she's in a bunch
of stuff. Yes. Yeah, hold on. So her main thing
she was in, I remember, Coyote Ugly. Yeah. She
was in The Prestige. Yeah. And then she was in
a short -lived USA show called Covert Affairs
that my mom used to watch all the time. And I
actually thought that was pretty good. She was
in Looper. She was in Looper, yes. Yeah. She
was in Penny Dreadful. Yep. She's been in a ton
of stuff. Like, you'd recognize her. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Yeah, and she's a great actress. Like,
yes, yeah. And again, great actress. Yeah. For
whatever reason, their apartment has, like, 30
candles in it. Because it saves on electricity.
I guess. But, like, it didn't make any sense
to me. JT thinks he has a story. So he's like,
all right, I'm going to go to Morgan Freeman.
I'm going to apologize. And I'm going to try
to get this story made and like, see if he'll
help me on this. So he goes to his apartment.
Morgan Freeman has like this super nice place.
He apparently has done all these stories in his
career. He does the Jewish newspaper as like
a service, not as like anything else. His character's
name is Moses, by the way. If that wasn't on
the nose. I'm sorry, Morgan Freeman's name is
Moses? Morgan Freeman is playing a Jewish man.
Yeah, no, his last name is Moses. I can't remember
his first name. Abraham. Was it Abraham? No,
I don't know. I wouldn't be shocked by that.
Ashford. Ashford. Ashford Moses. That's a great
name though. That is a pretty good name. I'm
not going to lie. Ashford Moses. Ashford Moses
would be a good like down home detective. Down
on his luck. Yeah. For this shit. So he's explaining
that Pollock. is the name of JT's character.
JT's explaining to Moses that he wants to do
this story because he thinks he has a real story
here. And Moses is like, who told you you have
a story here? And he's like, oh, my girlfriend.
Morgan Freeman has the best line of the movie.
Oh, you're doing this for pussy. Wow. And like
in the Morgan Freeman way. So you're doing this
for pussy. Wow. I really can't imagine him saying
that line rather than the word pussy. You've
never seen Dreamcatcher because once you've seen
that movie, this guy's the limit with Morgan
Freeman's acting career. It's true. I'm not saying
that he couldn't act it. I'm just saying. No,
no, no. I mean like the absurdity. Yeah. Okay.
So basically Morgan Freeman's just like, whatever.
Like if you do your work, fine, whatever. He
puts on a record because he's like, get out of
my apartment, that kind of stuff. But they continue
talking. The problem is the sound editing is
terrible. The record is overpowering everything
because they just want to have like their soundtrack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I couldn't hear what
they said. Hey, money for this music, damn it.
We're going to play it. Right. We're going to
license music, yo. So he walks out of the apartment.
He takes an elevator down. It has like. three
shots happening at once and like there's transitions
happening i was like this is gonna give star
wars a run for its money on transitions oh boy
yeah because there was like he was in the elevator
that all of a sudden he was like at the library
and moses was dancing and there was time in the
script to shoot yeah morgan freeman dancing oh
there was a there was a dance sequence more than
nicole kidman it sounds like in the movie we
recorded for next week um so This is where we
learn what frat stands for. The crackhead that
is in jail, because we never learn his name,
but the crackhead, his mother had a stroke out
of nowhere. And so all he wants to do is get
out of jail to get back to his mother. And he
did nothing wrong as far as he's concerned besides
sell crack. Okay. Besides sell crack. That's
funny. Okay, sure, sure. Innocent crime right
there. Victimless crime, yeah. He has a guest
at the prison that was telling him about the
stroke, and that is Pollock, JT. Okay. He's telling
him what happened and why he said thank you to
him and everything like that. So JT's like, I
got it. I got this witness. We're good. We can
take down Frat. He goes back to Moses' house.
And Moses is listening to him and was just like,
you have one side of the story. You need to get
frat side of the story because who's going to
believe a crackhead, which is true. Who's going
to believe a crackhead? Who's going to believe
an obviously crooked cop system? Right. And so
JT's just like, no, we've got him dead to rights.
We have this witness. And Morgan Freeman says,
oh, that's right. You're doing this for pussy.
Of course, JT finds a Pulitzer Prize just hanging
out in his house. What? Yeah. So he picks up
the Pulitzer and he looks at him. He goes, I'm
doing it for this. Whoa. Casually Morgan Freeman's
character. Yes. And yet he's still working for
the, he's the editor for the Jewish newspaper.
Like I said, he's doing this for like good faith.
This is retirement. This is retirement. Yeah,
exactly. Morgan Freeman. He's constantly old.
Some people who retire work for Disney. This
guy decided I'm going to work for this. Yeah.
All right. So the first time he left Morgan Freeman's
apartment, he took an elevator. Remember the
second time he just gets pushed out of the door
in the rain. Oh. So now they're on the brown
floor? Yeah, there's continuity error. I just
wanted to point that out. Yeah, that's a little
annoying. Okay, got it. Yep. I also said this
movie could be PG -13, but they just keep saying
fuck. Okay. Like over and over again. Yeah, it's
a hard R. Like it's hard R just because they
keep saying, oh, fuck, fuck this, fuck that.
Yeah, exactly. So we get introduced to the mayor.
He is running for re -election with his Better
Edison campaign. uh the mayor has a private investigator
that the mayor played by kevin spacey no the
mayor is played by carrie elwes okay carrie yes
carrie elwes um The mayor has a private investigator
that is willing to work with Moses and Pollock
that is played by Kevin Spacey. His name is Wallace.
Wallace has the worst hair on the face of the
planet. It's like a Johnny Bravo -esque. It goes
up and then it wraps around. I'm looking this
up. If you can find it, please let me know. Kevin
Spacey Edison? Yeah. If you can find it, I couldn't
really find an image, but if you can find it.
Oh, geez. Oof. That's not good, man. He kind
of looks like John Cusack. Mm -hmm. With that
hair. Yeah. That's it. Yep. Oh, that's a winner.
I'm not a fan of that. Yep. Okay. He's got that
kind of... Yeah, okay. All right. What's his
deal? He's a private investigator working exclusively
for the mayor. Okay. He has offered to work with
Pollock to find out what he can about frat. Does
he have a stereotypical Southern accent? No,
he does not. No. Why is it? Because he has a
little, like, I don't know what to call it. Oh,
it's almost like a bolo tie. Yeah. Well, right.
That's what I mean. Yeah. Exactly. Right? Yeah.
No, he doesn't. When I look at his picture, I'm
imagining him just doing a shitty Southern accent.
He talks like Kevin Spacey. Like, it's normal
Kevin Spacey. Yeah. Yeah. I shouldn't say shitty.
I imagine him doing his House of Cards Georgia
Senator impression. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So. we
flash forward to it's just a night off um jt
and piper parabo go to a dance club just to get
some let off some steam start dancing everything
like that oh it just so happens ll cool jay's
there with his girlfriend and not only his girlfriend
his now fiance because he proposed to her at
a fucking club ladies love cool jay ladies love
cool jay so he proposed in a club yeah i just
want that to be known yeah who does that to turn
the music off. That's what I want. No, he didn't.
No, he just shows her the ring and then he gets
on her knee and then she like kisses him and
like, yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's beautiful. um i
said at this point i said at this point this
feels like all the worst parts of fast and furious
one yeah because you know they're kind of gonna
like get together but there's no sandwiches there's
no corona there's no family there's no vhs yeah
dvd players i'm so sorry you're right so jt and
piper leave the club because like he's like i
need to get out of here he saw the whole proposal
but he's like i need to get out of here because
obviously i'm investigating this guy i don't
want him to see me so they leave we know that
LL Cool J and his girlfriend are still there
they're walking outside JT and Piper are walking
outside all of a sudden they get absolutely mugged
like just beaten to a pulp and it's graphic like
it's you see them get hit Okay. So this is the
part that makes it rated R, you know what I mean?
Yeah. Sure, I guess. I don't know. I guess language
could be one reason. Well, right. They just say
fuck all the time. Right. Well, at least they're
showing the violence, right? I don't know. That
sounds like a weird thing to plus, but you know
what I mean. So they're beaten left in the street.
We see one of the people that beats him takes
off his mask. It's obviously Dylan McDermott.
Yeah. We know it's the frat members. Yeah. We
learn that Piper has a blood disorder. Okay.
So she's out for the rest of the movie. Great.
Bye. She's not dead, but she's in a coma. She's
in a coma. She's now a plot device. Great. Yes.
She's a sexy lamp. Sexy lamp. Lexi Samp. Lexi
Samp. Lexi Samp. That's going to be... I know,
no, I said Lexi Sam. That's going to be the name
of the character in our parody movie that becomes
the sexy lamp, Lexi Sam. Vampire Boys 3, when
we finally make it, Lexi Sam. Yes, because I
can't speak right. Is Vampire Boys 3 going to
be like a spoof of Edison? Maybe. With vampires?
Are they the ones who take down the crooked cops?
Because they can't get a photograph because they're
vampires. They're all part of an elite task force
called BAMP. B -A -M -P. We'll have to figure
that out. We'll have to figure that out. Very
angry men. Policemen. Vehicular and manslaughter
people. manslaughter patrol that our people all
right what a patrol i like patrol better yeah
yeah all right vehicular and manslaughter patrol
vamp yes we have a vampire as a lead yeah we
have ll cool j for some reason who's like you
know i think bruce willis should be in there
he'd be our version of uh no true yeah yeah yeah
oh my god no oh god this is the ultimate shitty
movie Bruce Willis plays a vampire hunter who's
clearly too old for this. He's too old for this
shit. I'm sure we play it for 20 bucks. JT is
in the hospital. Piper Parabo is in a coma. LL
Cool J shows up to the hospital and talks to
JT. He's very beat up and everything like that.
The only thing I could think of in my mind, have
you guys seen Family Guy, the Shawshank Redemption
parody? Yes. Do I seem like someone who likes
Family Guy? No. There's a part in it where they're
talking about... the storyline and it's Cleveland
and Peter talking about this. And Peter goes,
and because you're black and I'm white, it makes
it more special for the audience. And that's
the line. And immediately, as soon as LL Cool
J is talking to JT, I'm just like, it's more
special for the audience. So that's what I was
thinking there. So basically I'm going to take
a quick break because we're about halfway through
the movie. Okay. We've hit the halfway point.
What's the runtime of this movie before we go?
Hour 39. Not a tight hour 20, though. No, not
a tight hour 20. We're going to take a quick
break. We're going to actually, though... We
played our guessing game. We had someone guess
it. It took a while. I'm not going to lie. I
had to include more stuff. I had no idea this
movie existed before you said anything. So we're
going to play a promo for the Chasing Enlightenment
podcast. You can find them at Chasing Light Pod
on Twitter. Their description of their show.
They called themselves the Students of Light.
Were they a harmless spiritual group? or a sinister
cult, listen wherever you get your podcasts.
We're going to play their promo. They're our
friends from up north. They're from Toronto.
Oh, nice. So are Canada does. Yeah, Canadian
friends. Chasing Enlightenment podcast. Here's
their promo, as well as a couple commercials,
and we'll be right back. This is a story you
might not have heard before, but some of the
details might seem familiar. A charismatic, power
-hungry leader. What I felt coming from that
man could not have come from a normal person.
Never, ever, ever. I mean, it was obvious to
me that he was somebody with a higher being.
He's destroyed all kinds of people's lives. It's
terrible. A group shouted a mystery. We used
to call them the veggies or the vegetarians.
The vegetarian mafia. With some rather unorthodox
practices. With crystals and purple cloth and,
you know. chiropractic table that they used for
laying you on to do this or a balance. Crazy,
man. Jesus, I can't believe it. You know, like,
covering down your entire bathroom with a toothbrush
and all the time chanting something, some words
or something. And the seemingly normal Toronto
suburb that they call home. It wasn't somewhere
I would walk at night, so I always felt a little
bit like the junction I associated with being
on sort of the wrong side of the tracks. Chasing
enlightenment. a new podcast from host Daniel
Monroe. You can find more information and updates
at chasingenlightenment .net. All right, we are
back. We are on the edge of our seats because
JT was in the hospital, Piper Parabo's in a coma,
but LL Cool J and JT are forming a special friendship.
A truce. A truce of some variety. Basically,
Moses has said, all right, we need to get you,
Pollock, off the road. Like, we need to get you
somewhere because they're going to find you at
your apartment. So Wallace, played by Kevin Spacey,
offers his cabin in the woods, which is this,
like, beautiful cabin in the woods. Doesn't have
a car, so he can't escape. That sounds like you're
walking right into a trap. Well, it's just, it's
basically like, we just want you to be here and
nowhere else. Like do, do some research. We'll
find you when it's all clear, that kind of stuff.
Uh, they established Kevin Spacey is this amazing
investigator. And one of the things he's able
to do as this amazing investigator is walk right
up to the surgery doors for Piper Parabo and
like walk. Right there. He's literally just outside
the surgery doors. Okay. Yeah. Pretty sure a
head nurse would stop by. I guess all of them.
You'd think, right? I mean, he's also not, like,
family. Give us some spacey. Yes. Morgan Freeman
shows up. once a week to like talk to Pollock
about his story and everything like that. He
keeps like baiting him. Like, if you want to
get to the times, you got to do this. You got
to do that. You got to do this. Did they actually
name drop the times? Yeah. It's just the times.
It's not New York times. It could be the Edison
times for all we know. Wow. Remember, this is
a town that is like on the verge of getting the
Olympics. Sure. For the greater good. For the
greater good. Hot fuzz. Got it. You've seen the
movie now. I have, you're right. While this is
happening, Isaiah, our crackhead. Oh, he has
a name. He does have a name. I didn't think he
had a name, but apparently he has a name. Was
stabbed in prison. He got shanked. He got shanked
hard. And now he's dead. And now your source
is gone. And he never saw his mom. And he never
saw his mom. Yeah, who had the stroke. He was
innocent aside from the selling crack part. Aside
from the selling crack part. Did we ever find
out who he sold the crack to? No, we found out
he fell on some hard times. He was helping his
cousin. That was the guy who was killed in cold
blood. And was just helping him until he could
get back on his feet. He was looking for jobs.
He was doing the right thing. He's like the Joker.
Wrong place, wrong time. Exactly. Wrong vat of
acid. So far, Morgan Freeman has taught this
newbie reporter two things. Follow the story
no matter where it takes you, but also make sure
you have a safe house in the middle of the woods
so you can hide. Always in your back pocket.
Always in your back pocket. Spacey's hair is
terrible in this. Dylan McDermott tried. He went
full crazy for this movie. Okay. Like, Wyatt
Russell crazy? Yeah. And Captain America? Yeah.
And, like, he, like, does drugs and that kind
of stuff. Like, his eyes get sunken as you watch
further and further in this. And, like, he gives
an all -out performance. Like, he's losing reality.
Yes. But he finds out that Pollock is in the
middle of the woods. And so he sneaks into the
house. Luckily, somehow, some way, Pollock was
able to hear it and get away. I mean, Justin
Timberlake probably is, like, hard of hearing.
So there you go. So he's, like, hiding. He's
getting away from him, like, in the house, but
there's no car, remember? Yeah. But he gets to
the garage, and what does he find? A car. A bicycle.
Oh. A bicycle. A bicycle. Okay. Does it have,
like, a little bell on it? It does not have a
bell on it, as far as I can tell. He doesn't
use it. What? Mind you, this is in the middle
of the woods. Dylan McDermott had to drive here.
His car is out front. No, what he does, instead
of taking the car, Because I don't think he knows
how to hotwire a car probably. That's the excuse
anyway. Isn't that part of the reporter handbook?
That's part of the excuse, I guess. He sticks
a bunch of hay into the gas... The back? The
gas cap area. So he sticks a bunch of gas in
it, lights it on fire. Fuel tank, yes. He makes
a Molotov cocktail. Thing out of the car? Out
of the car. Okay. So he like loads it with hay
and then lights it on fire and then the car explodes.
Dylan McDermott finds out and then he's just
biking away as this car is exploding in the background.
How is this not picked up for theatrical release?
Oh my God. It was amazing. Yep. Okay. You said
Dylan McDermott is trying. Dylan McDermott's
trying. Is there anybody else trying? JT, it's
his first movie. I don't know if it's his very
first, but it's pretty early on. And you can
tell. And he's going up against Morgan Freeman,
Kevin Spacey. As much as we don't like Kevin
Spacey, Kevin Spacey. yeah whatever yeah so we're
the elephant in the room is that you know whatever
like and like justin timberlake's gotten better
yes oh that's true but this is pretty early this
is pretty early on yeah like the rock and that's
what i was gonna say yeah like scorpion king
yeah well i'm a champion king but i would even
say fast five honestly like his first appearance
is not it's not yeah yeah it's not like i'm not
sure it's in that movie but His acting is considerably
better in Jumanji versus Fast Five. He's also
a little slutty in Fast Five. Yeah, well, that's
true, too. I don't feel like it was a direction
change. Was it Fast Five or Fast Six with the
cast? Where he just breaks it. That's fast six.
That's fast six. Because he puts him there. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. And then he breaks it out. Yeah,
okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a pretty sick
moment. That is a pretty sick moment. Oh, that
was amazing. Yeah, yeah. That's the perfect kind
of dumb badass, you know? All right, so we go
back to Frat. We go back to Frat. None of the
people in Frat are married. Everybody sees it
as a weakness. So the fact that LL Cool J proposed
is a weakness. I think it also just means that
now we have another. Well, no, it's not a weakness.
It's liability. Yeah, we have. We have. OK, yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's a loose end. You can't have
a family. Yeah, exactly. I got it. I will kill
you with a moment's notice. Yeah. Oh, I also
have to include at this point because it was
like doing like it was flipping between scenes.
So as like they were talking about the fact that
LL Cool J is proposed is weakness. They also
flash to Moses telling Pollack. He told him earlier,
like, you started the story, you have to follow
it through to the end. Now he's like, you know,
you can walk away. If it's getting too dangerous
for you or your girlfriend, you can walk away.
And, like, everybody's like, what? Like, no.
Yeah, what? I'm only this far down because you
told me to go this far down. Right. So now we
need something for John Heard to do. Yeah, he's
in this. Yes. John Heard is the leader of FRAT.
He is a public face. He is like the schmoozer,
you know. He's close with the mayor where it's
just kind of like, oh, mayor, like, thank you
for this unit. Like, we really appreciate you
and everything like that. We'll keep the streets
safe for you and your Better Edison campaign
and everything like that. So basically, because
of the Piper Parabo situation, it made front
news of the Jewish paper. And everybody was catching
on because the fact that she was beaten out of
nowhere. And like, this is a true tragedy. It's
looking bad on the mayor, that kind of stuff.
John heard knows that Dylan McDermott did it.
And it's just like, all right, Dylan, you're
desk bound because of your transgressions. You
should have known. Okay. Like she didn't need
to be touched. You just attack Pollock. Not too
far. Yeah, exactly. You went too far. The camera
angles on the scene were like up at Dylan's face
and like down at John Heard's face. It was like
all over the place. It was not great. We were
trying to figure out if frat has connections
everywhere because LL Cool J is able to walk
in this restaurant to talk to Pollock and was
just like. And all these people left the tables.
It's just like a randomly selected bar that JT
chose. And all of a sudden he's just able to
like clear it out. Gone. So they're able to talk.
LL is on board. He is going to work with Pollock
slash JT. All right. At least a little bit. Oh,
Muljay. We learn from LL. I don't know why that
got me. Okay. We learn from LL Muljay that the
courts are corrupt. The mayor is corrupt. And
officially, the cops are corrupt. He's officially
admitted it. Yes. And Carrie, no. So they're
kind of like learning. He learns all the stuff
about it. They go their separate ways after a
while. Dylan McDermott, basically, when he gets
back to the office, is like, I know what you
told him. Stitches get snitches. What's that?
Stitches get snitches. Yes. Stitches get snitches.
He says that verbatim. Verbatim. Yes. Stitches
get snitches. So he threatens LL Cool J and is
just like, you know. I brought you into frat,
blah, blah, blah. And wouldn't it be a shame
if your pretty little thing got injured? Fist
fight. Oh, yeah. They are taking it out at the
frat office, including some things like. Dylan
McDermott – because I'm looking at these two
going, oh, Cool J is winning this. I'm sorry.
You know, Dylan McDermott. Well, Dylan McDermott
for his like contributions is using items. So
like he grabs a phone and just like bashes them
upside down. He has an inventory. Yeah. No, but
like they're like fighting in the office and
like he like grabs the phone and like smashes
them against the head. He grabs a stapler. It's
funny you bring this up. He grabs a stapler and
staples them in the neck. And, like, it's...
There's your R. Yeah, it is brutal. Does LL get,
like, a scissor? Well, there's... And then there's
a final point where it's, like, they're... Dylan's
up against the wall. LL Cool J is, like, about
to, like, punch his lights out. And Dylan flips
out a knife. And we're just like, oh, shit. It's
on now. And then... Boom! Gunshot. John Heard
has fired a shot and killed... Dylan McDermott.
What? Straight through the head, like. He's dead?
He's dead. How much is left of this movie? 30
minutes, maybe. That's our cat, if that's getting
picked up in the background. Got a box. Got to
sit in it. Yeah. Maybe she's eating it. Chew
on it, yeah. So, Dylan McDermott is shot in the
head, and literally, my jaw drops. I am actually
like, oh, shit. Oh, wow. All right. Okay, movie.
And so this is the thing I have said at this
point in the movie. This movie must have a miserable
finale because so far it's been pretty decent.
Not great, but not nearly as horrible as I expected
from these Rotten Tomatoes. I'm also drunk. Yeah.
Because I was probably six deep at this point.
Okay, sure. But like also, so far what you told
me about this movie is that like, yeah, it's
a by the numbers. Right. It's not a great movie.
No. It's not meant to be. No. But. It's not anything
so far off the page that you're just like, yeah.
That nobody picked this up to play theaters for
even in February or something like that. Nothing.
Yeah. Yeah. So LL Cool J calls JT to have him
help him with something. The body? No. Because
they get rid of Dylan. Basically, the mayor is
freaking out because he has a body outside his
office because the mayor works in the same building
as frat, apparently, which is something entirely
different. He's yelling at Wallace, played by
Kevin Spacey, just like, there's a fucking body
outside. Like, this is not good for my campaign.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, just
caring about the important things, not the fact
that there's a dead man outside. So LL Cool J
calls JT and is just like, look, we need to talk.
come to the courthouse like we're gonna get a
statement from a courthouse person or something
like that that's what i thought no they're doing
a courthouse wedding and jt is the witness basically
ll cool j has decided like he doesn't know what's
going to happen he wants to make sure they're
married like get it done quick because then she
can start getting his benefits that kind of stuff
just in case this goes south And JT becomes a
witness. And he's like, what the fuck? Why am
I your witness? Don't you have any friends? Yeah,
right. Exactly. And so I put at this point, I
will say losing Dylan McDermott has lost an aspect
because the guy stepping up to take on LL, this
random Asian dude that's going to become the
villain. Yes. He's nowhere near as charismatic.
Kind of. He's just the next in command. They
don't give him anything. He's just not nearly
as charismatic or anything like that. So basically,
Frat is going to try to kill Justin Timberlake.
And they're going to all put the blame on Dylan
McDermott. And just be like, look, this reporter,
he was killed by this guy. When we caught on,
we shot him and killed him. We're also going
to kill LL Cool J because it's just loose end.
So they go to like this. Oh, so he goes back
to his apartment. There's a moment where his
email goes, you've got mail. And it made me giddy.
This is J. Tim, right? J. Tim, yes. The email
is basically all the stuff from Wallace. He writes
the story. He sends it out to all of the editors
at all the big newspapers in the town. Police
is corrupt. Mayor is corrupt. He hired the police
to basically clean the streets so he can look
good for his re -election campaign. And the courts
are corrupt. They control everything. Frat's
bad. All this stuff. He basically writes a story
and is just like, okay, cool. I'm going to send
it to everybody just in case something happens.
They were in a cabin in the woods and Dylan McDermott
found them after like two days. Yeah. Yeah. They
couldn't find him at his own apartment that he's
been at for like a week. Yeah. And so then like
they have nobody watching it. Nothing like nothing
like that. So I was like, OK, whatever. The Asian
dude who is less charismatic finds Justin Timberlake
at his apartment. LL Cool J comes out of nowhere,
luckily to kill him in time. so they're like
okay we gotta run makes a save makes a save uh
basically they get to a warehouse where fratless
like lines up and is just like okay we're going
to kill him ll you can't do this like we're gonna
we're gonna stop him and we're gonna save frat
and blah blah blah yeah um this shootout finale
interrupted by a commercial literally there's
five minutes left in the movie at this point
yeah what was the commercial for one of the movies
on voodoo i think it was spencer oh the diana
yeah like spencer's now on voodoo check it out
blah blah um okay we get back to the movie uh
there's like they they get into the warehouse
they're hiding behind pillars ella cool jason's
like i'm gonna help you blah blah blah sorry
you're good Sophie. Sophie, we're almost done.
I promise. I know you don't like this movie,
but I promise it's almost done. She's just so
emotional about the transgressions that the frat.
The frat. Has been making on the city of Edison.
So they're hiding behind pillars. These pillars,
like, obviously have CGI bullet holes in them.
Oh, God. Because it's just, like, poorly cut
out almost. 2006 textures plastered on the buildings.
Yeah. Yeah. They could have done, like. No, all
the budget went to paying more agreement. Yeah,
right. I guess. Yeah, right. Almost probably,
yeah. But I think they could have still blown
up a pillar, you know, with bullet holes. Like,
fake practical effects or something. Yeah. I
don't know if we're going to pick you up sniffing
the microphone. If she's praying real loudly,
it's going to hear. Yeah, right. But I don't
hear her from here, so I think we're okay. I'm
watching you. Do you need me to move her? I don't
know what you're doing. I can banish her to the
shadow realm. Come here. Let's be friends. Let's
be friends. Yeah, let's be friends. Okay. So...
Basically, they're pinned down behind these pillars.
We're like, what the hell is going to happen?
There's no way these two, a reporter who doesn't
shoot things and LL Cool J are going to be able
to take down all of frat. Fucker. yeah i was
about to say like she's having fun give her an
inch she gives she gets yeah she was having fun
yeah no apologies you're good no worries i'm
just gonna have to cover a little bit of it out
so i'll probably just restart that line yeah
you okay do you need a medic oh yeah no i'm fine
no she was fine she was a buddy yeah i know but
yeah i love her bites me all the time yeah okay
and up we go Keep going. Okay. All right. So
they're pinned behind these pillars. You're just
like, okay, this reporter who's never shot anybody
and LL Cool J, the rookie member of frat are
not going to be able to take on a whole police
force. Yeah. But then I don't know where it came
from. I think he had it the whole time. LL Cool
J pulls out a flamethrower. Oh, okay. Wait, wait,
what? Obvious CGI of the flames, but a flamethrower.
Sure, sure. I don't understand. Did he have a
jacket on or something? It's a two -handed weapon
with a pretty significant... Like it's a backpack
and then like a... Oh, okay. Yeah. One does not
just casually pull that out of nothing. It doesn't
come out of nothing. Where did it come from?
I don't know. It's not a 9mm pistol you have
in a concealed carry. Are you hiding it in your
boot? Yes, right, exactly. Hold on, give me a
second. I need to hook this up. Right, right,
right. So he had a flamethrower and just starts
killing people. One of the people that gets away
is John Heard. Because of course he does. And
he finds JT who snuck away. And is holding him
hostage. You know the whole situation. Human
shield. Gun at his head. I'm hiding behind. Except
for he's pretty fairly pronounced. Outside of
behind him. But that's a different story. For
a different time. So. LL Cool J has his normal
gun now. He's killed all the rest of frat. Besides
John Heard. Yes. You call it. crime brulee i
call it crime brulee like that's what he's done
i can't take credit for that one okay yes crime
brulee he is crime brulee to everybody um jt
is like in the hostage position ll cool j is
just like duck and of course he ducks and he's
able to shoot him right between the eyes which
were not very hard to do because he was like
like i said JT was like here and he was very
pronounced behind him. You could have shot him
in the heart, the head. Wide open. Yeah. It wasn't
a good hostage situation. Was any hostage situation
a good hostage situation? No. Well, JT and LL
are talking about it afterwards and LL says to
him, keep your door locked, kid. That's the line.
I have quotes on it and everything. The mayor
comes by because he wants to see what's happening,
of course. Yeah. And his town. Right. Exactly.
And he's thinking he's screwed. The jig is up.
He wants to find what's happening. The reporters
and Wallace all decide, basically, we don't have
the funds to take him on. So there's no proof
you did anything there. Just let him go. Cause
he is trying to make Edison better, even though
he was like corrupt and everything like that.
So the mayor lives to see another day with no
repercussions whatsoever. LL Cool J goes to his
fiance. JT is able to see Piper after her coma.
Everybody lives happily ever after. End of movie.
Okay. They print his story. Frat is done. Frat's
done. LL gets back. There's no more corrupt policemen
in Edison anymore. LL gets to join the regular
police force again. Oh, it's not corrupt? It's
a good old honest cop. It's not the corrupt unit,
we'll say. Okay. We don't know anything else.
Edison 2 did not happen. Right, we couldn't find
out, you know, if LLBJ tries to take on the systemic
issues with our police force. Do you just have
a problem for signing up for corrupted police?
Uh -huh, yeah. Right, well, exactly. You have
a problem there. Yeah, so the only people that
don't get a happy ending are Isaiah and his mom,
who died of the stroke. Yep. She died? She dies.
Confirmed? Yep, confirmed. Damn. Yep. R .I .P.
Her son was dead, too? Yep. well and crackhead
too which we didn't know his name but a cousin
yeah first crackhead cousin crackhead who did
nothing wrong but sell crack he did nothing wrong
but sell crack okay yeah okay honestly like what
you've said about this movie doesn't seem it
seems bad but does not seem osami this is not
osami this is not exactly right so I'll be honest.
Like I said, I was like six deep in this movie.
Yeah, sure. I enjoyed it way more than I thought
I would. It is not a good movie. Yeah. The talent
definitely raised the script. The script's not
great. Yeah. No. The dialogue is goofy and everything
like that. The dance club proposal was ridiculous
out of nowhere. So, overall... I know you guys
are wondering, what's my rating for a movie that
I say is not that bad? Okay. You say two. I think
it's a 1 .5. If I were to judge from what you've
said so far, I think it's like a 1 .75. No more
of these stupid half numbers. Jill is right.
It is a two. Wow. Yeah. Two out of five hostage
situations where you just shoot them in the shoulder.
Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Hostage resolution. They
teach that at the FBI. Mind you, this was like
a teenage girl that just got shot through the
shoulder. Yep. Casually. Yeah, casually. It's
not like they shot her leg. Her damn career is
fine. This might be the highest rated bad movie
we've had. I'm trying to remember where Fantasy
Island is. Where did Killa Sofa land? I don't
know. I think I gave it a 2 .5. I was just going
to say, I think Killer Sofa is the winner still.
Killer Sofa is probably the best movie I've seen.
For sure. Yeah. It's just because I love Jeff
Roffy. No, no, no. For a bad movie, that was
exactly what it was. For this movie, it was pretty
good. decent like it's not a great movie i'm
not saying go out and see it immediately but
for free if you're bored yeah if you're bored
you want to text well i'm kind of shocked that
it didn't get picked up by somebody to even even
just to fill in i'm not saying it's gonna be
a summer blockbuster but like just to fill in
yeah you're exactly right like a february schedule
movie this probably would have done fine yeah
like it i don't know kind of like uncharted yeah
well and i will say so what's tricky about rotten
tomatoes and why i don't like using it but it's
the only real thing we have to use it had eight
critics reviews and like five thousand plus like
audience reviews which is not huge that's not
huge though yeah and a lot of what people have
been saying is just like it's better than i thought
it would be you know and like sure sure yeah
fine yeah yeah um so i give it a two out of five
yeah yeah i already said that never mind um but
yeah uh what did um Oh my god. What's his name?
Dude from Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl. What did
Dave Grohl say when he was on Smart List? Not
everything has to be imagined. Not every science
be imagined. Not every movie needs to be Titanic.
Speaking of Dave Grohl, I can't wait for Studio
666. I'm going to check that out. It's 82 % on
audience critics. His episode of Hot Wheels is
a riot. I highly recommend it. I think the critics
score is a little down on Studio 666, but the
audience score is like 81%. that movie not for
I don't know it was not for critics I like no
okay they made a movie yeah I like I like watching
movies that that have that have disagreements
on both scales right yeah right I feel like when
If there's a movie that has a really high critic
score, a really low audience score, I really
want to see that movie. I would say Green Knight's
probably the most recent example of that. It's
a good one. I would imagine that. The critics
liked it, but the audience didn't. Yeah. And
then, obviously, the inverse, where it's like,
okay, yes, this is not going to be a critic darling.
They're not going for the Oscars on this one.
Right. It's good fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It'll
be interesting to see what Studio 666 does. It's
not like schlocky horror films are usually a
good time. I think it's going to beat its production
budget. I think it will. And that's what I'm
curious about. Is it going to like kill its production
budget or is it just going to be fade into obscurity?
I don't know. I think I also think that. hopefully
they didn't i don't know what the production
budget is um because they were already like renting
out the house to record an album i think right
so i don't think they have yeah so that might
have been ruled into the the budget and then
i don't know how they shot it who directed it
right who wrote it and like i mean the band themselves
are the actors so like hopefully this is not
you know a 20 million dollar film right it's
more like five million dollar film speaking of
budgets You want to learn Edison's budget. It
had to be pretty high. It had to be somewhat
substantial. Or they wrote a bunch of people
in on contracts for CEO contracts. Kevin Spacey
are going to have big salaries. At this point,
yes. Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey would both
have a big salary. Williams would have done it
for relatively cheap. J. Tim? J. Tim I don't
think would have because he was relatively new.
He brought sexy back at this point. Yeah, right.
Sexy was already brought back at this point.
Not necessarily a big career, big act. I don't
know. That's still a name you use to get butts
in seats. This is early acting days. Sure. This
was his first big movie. Okay. The rest of the
things he'd done had basically been music videos.
Yeah, that's true. I said Carrie Louise would
have been relatively inexpensive. What's the
budget give me then? His career was on a downturn.
So the overseas gross, because there wasn't a
domestic gross. That's not the budget, but okay.
I know. I'm getting to the budget. Don't worry.
I got to go the opposite way. $4 ,143 ,414. Keep
in mind that this is because it wasn't released
in theaters. It just went straight to DVD. Yes.
That was international. Yep. Budget? Yep. $37
,000 ,000. Okay. Damn. I was going to say $40
,000. That's a little cheaper than I thought.
I would have thought like $40 ,000, $45 ,000.
Yeah, somewhere in there. And not most of it.
And the 2006 money. Yeah. Yeah. I wish they would
have spent a little more on CGI for the flamethrower.
Sure, right. Or just get a real flamethrower.
Yeah. Or explain where the main flamethrower
comes from. Yes, exactly. But yeah, so that would
be Edison. Cool. Not electrifying. Not electrifying.
No, I can't wait until Tesla comes out. The sequel.
The unofficial sequel. The town of Tesla. The
town of Tesla, which is corrupt. Sorority is
going to be a harder acronym to figure out. Sorority.
Oh, my God. Maybe it's Greek. No, they're just
calling it Sal. Yeah. Well, there's five of them.
Squad of rebellious order rioters. integration
tactical service oh why integral tactical yesterday
there you go you got it yeah perfect done we
need to make more bad analogies on this or bad
yeah BAMP was still good, though. I want to make
that movie. Vehicular and Manslaughter Patrol.
Patrol. Well, so that'll do it for this bad movie
episode of Game for a Movie, where we ask, are
you game for a movie? Shout out to Chasing Enlightenment
Podcast. I guessed it right. I've been your host,
Mike. I've been joined by Jill and Andre. We
will see you next time on Game for a Movie, which
we've already recorded. Yay! See you guys.