WEBVTT

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You know what that sound means? It's another

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episode of Game for a Movie where we ask, are

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you game for a movie? My name is Mike. I'll be

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your host. I'm joined by Andre. Jim. Mitchell.

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What are you doing? Having a good time. I'm glad

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you're having a good time because I am not. We

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just started. a bad version of having a good

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time. Change it to having a bad time. Well, it

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is our bad movie episode. Oh, no. And because

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it's spooky month. Ooh. Boo to you. What the

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fuck just happened? Boo to you? That is a bar.

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Yes. Well, I mean, my last name is Utanic or

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Boo -tanic. There you go. I get it. So I'm the

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spooky guy. Yeah, right. So I have kept this

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secret from you guys. Yes. Of what this movie

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is. I think I figured out what it was from your.

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last clue that you gave out. Did you? Yes. What

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do you think it is? I only saw the first one.

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There's five of them. There's five of them. Let's

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have them look. I'm a little scared because it

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could be potentially very offensive if I'm wrong.

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It is an indie movie. Very small market. No,

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no, no. You've got to figure it out on your own.

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I'm signed out right now. To be fair, for those

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who don't know, Mike puts out hints as to what

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the bad movie of the week is going to be. And

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I guess Joe and I have not seen the hints yet.

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Yes, there are five hints. Okay, our fourth hint.

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So I'm kind of going backwards. Yes, get to the

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first hint first and go backwards. Alright. So

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the first hint... What are you doing? The most

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complicated way of getting the hints. Yeah, yeah,

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yeah. Okay. I'm back to the honeymoon. First

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hint, it's just a gif. Look at the gif. Yeah.

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He's taking off shirts. It is Jared Padlecki.

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Jared Padlecki and Walker. Taking off a shirt

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from Walker, Texas Ranger. Yep, yep. And then?

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So then, after that, we've got... All right,

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now I've got to pull it up, apparently, because

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I can't remember it either. It's a field. It

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looks like something in a Breaking Bad. It is

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a desert. Desert, yeah. It is a desert. Right.

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That is the important thing. Remember the desert.

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Somehow it's still a gif. I know. It really doesn't

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move very much. And then the third hint is the

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zombie. The zombie king and queen. Yeah, king

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and queen. From Army of the Dead. Army of the

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Dead. Yep. And then the fourth hint. It's army

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guys with big guns. Reading it. You said there

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was a fifth. There's a fifth one. It took me

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this fifth hint to literally because you said

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a little more to go on. It is from 2012 and the

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main character is named Dusty. So I literally

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looked up zombie 2012 Dusty and I came up with

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a very offensive frankly looking movie. You might

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be right. Is it called Osambi? Osambi! Oh my

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god! As soon as I heard the name, I knew I needed

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to do it. So here's the poster. So the full name

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is Osambi, the Axis of Evil Dead. Bin Laden will

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die again. That's the tagline. Okay, so what

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year did this come out? 2012. So we're about

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a year out from... Two years. 2010. There you

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go. So we are literally at 2021 and we still

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think this is offensive. It's not even... It's

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just more like, really, dog? That's not something

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you do, though. It very much is. So we're not

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doing this movie because we feel strongly about

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it. Okay, sure. Bin Laden was 2011. 11, yeah.

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That's what I thought. So the question is, I

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guess it must have come into production after

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he died? 100%. No, what if it was in production?

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Guys, we've got to change the tagline. The tagline

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would be one of the last things to do. Right,

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right, right. Because marketing doesn't vary.

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I mean, you watched the movie. Do you think it

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was filmed before? I think he was dead already.

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Yes, but the details weren't out for sure. And

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with how these horror movies are filmed, they

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could turn this around really quickly. You know

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what I mean? Well, especially this one. Especially

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this one. So we were talking about Osambi. So

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the movie opens up and it is a SEAL team that

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is broken into what looks like a storage facility.

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Is it SEAL Team 6? Did they keep it as... They

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didn't name them. They didn't name them. No,

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no, it's just, it's obviously like a team that's

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like broken into this spot and thinks the package

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is here. The package is right here, pal. I'm

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looking at this movie on Rotten Tomatoes. It

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is. It was an S, not a Z. Well, I went to type

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in Osambi, but instead I typed in seal teeth.

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Osambi, I'm pretty sure on Rotten Tomatoes is

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at like 18 % of audience score. There is no...

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I don't think this is screen critics. I don't

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think this is screen critics. Oh, he didn't make

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a round of canes? I don't know. Oh, man. Good

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old canes. Canes. I didn't want to call that

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out. No, no, no. I was like, I hope they didn't

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hear the S thing or the S5. Because you know

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why I'm calling it out? Why? We need to launch

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our own film festival. Call it Canes, and it's

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all bad movies. It's not the cons. It is just

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the bad movies of the year. we're launching our

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old con film festival calling it canes because

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that's what we called it so instead of the pom

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dork it could be the pom dork yes yeah yeah oh

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yeah looks like the prize pom dork the pom dork

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or something some 3d printed glasses that say

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nerd yeah dork on it Yeah. 3D prints, it sounds

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amazing. I mean, the fact that the Razzies exist,

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we can make something that... The Razzies is

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a big deal. Yeah, you're welcome. People will

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attend the Razzies. Yes. That's what I'm saying.

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People are going to attend the Cain's Film Festival.

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The Cain's Film Festival. You know what? Elijah

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Wood has a little film festival he did or does.

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We can do our own. I'm sorry. Everything is too

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close. It needs to be the Cain's Movie Extravaganza.

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That's true. I feel like I should invite my friend

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whose family is the Cain family. Oh. Nice. They

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are welcome. Yes, they can be the chief. Alright,

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so these guys, they are in this storage facility.

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They find one that is marked somehow, some way

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they know this is the one they need to go to.

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They open it up and they're just like, what the

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fuck is this? It's a bunch of drugs. But not

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like cocaine and heroin and that kind of stuff.

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It is just like needles that are marked with

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Arabic lettering. I don't know my languages,

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so Arabic lettering sounds right. Okay. Yeah.

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I don't want to... I don't know. I'm also...

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You know what I'm saying, yes. I'm not going

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to make it. Yeah, sure. Okay. When the thing

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opens, an alarm goes off in another room. And

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it is very much a cheap Osama bin Laden. Like,

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cheap guy that looks kind of like Osama Bin Laden.

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It's not very good at all. Yeah, okay, got it.

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Gotcha. And to be specific, because he spends

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the rest of the movie in zombie makeup, it may

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be a white guy in brown face. Oh, no. That's

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rough. That's unfortunate. It is... The character's

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name is Walter Carmona. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

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The actor or the... The actor. I was just saying

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the character's name. I was like, I thought he

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was playing Osama Bin Laden. The character is

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Osama Bin Laden. That's an alias. Yes. So, Walter

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Carmona... Uh -oh. Okay. ...as Osama Bin Laden

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realizes, oh, the jig is up. I got to figure

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out something to do. So he opens up his own personal

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little thing and jabs himself. Oh man. He William

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Perkins it. Oh God. Okay. That's how you have

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to do it. Meanwhile, the storage doors open.

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Yeah. And zombie Taliban people, zombie Taliban

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people. Yes. Like turbans. And like, yes. Oh

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God. Yes. If you think this movie was being nice

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to the Taliban, it is not. But was this the type

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of movie they would play in git mode for torture?

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Maybe. It's very possible. I would not be shocked

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by that. So one of the zombies bites one of the

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soldiers, but he thinks he's fine. So it's okay

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because he didn't get an artery. And so they

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kill Osama bin Laden. So they're in a helicopter

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flying over the ocean. They're celebrating. But

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dude who got bit, he's not looking good, guys.

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Oh, no. Oh, no. He's not looking good. Does he

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have the flu? I don't think so. Oh, okay. I don't

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think it's COVID. Too soon. Yeah, too soon. Literally.

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Literally too soon. He has albida. Oh, boo. Oh,

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God. You're welcome. So he starts freaking out

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on the helicopter. Meanwhile, the body bag with

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Osama bin Laden just, like, breaks out. And he

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escapes into the water. Oh, no. The water supply.

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And then, of course, we get the title card. Osambi.

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Very cool. Can I just say that I looked up the

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Osambi on IMVB, and I wanted to see if there's

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any trivia. There is not, but there is a connection.

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Okay. It featured a reviewer who I used to follow,

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did a review of in 2012, so. Oh, great. Very

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topical, very timely. Welshi. Okay. I was going

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to say, A .O. Scott from the New York Times.

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This is Welshi, formerly of that guy with the

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glasses .com. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So we flash

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forward to a couple making out on the beach.

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This girl decides she wants to go swimming. All

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of a sudden, she's dragged under the water. And

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like the boyfriend, husband, whatever he is,

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starts freaking out. And then we see Osambi walk

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out of the water just. It's not like they can

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actually run. So the zombie rules are they can

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run. So this is 20 days later. Which I really

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like, by the way. Yes, which is great. So they

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can actually run. So that's a lot of where the

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horror comes in. I put horror in quotes because

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it's pretty predictable every time there's going

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to be a running zombie getting there. So, flash

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forward to our heroes. They're a military team.

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They are trying to get to this military base.

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We don't know why, but they've just been told

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they need to get to this military base. The team

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is Chip, Tomboy, Joker, Tomboy is a woman, Joker,

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DC, Chapo, Doc, And Herc. There's always a Doc.

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Who's Chapo? I feel like there's always a Doc.

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These are all codenames. These are all codenames.

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Right, right, right. Chip is a codename? Chip

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is a codename. That's a fucking lame -ass codename.

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Yes. I don't know. Chapo is also pretty lame.

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Chapo is... Okay, I don't know. I would like

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to believe that Jared Leto is Joker. Yeah, me

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too. He is not. He is not. No, Joker, Jared Leto,

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Joker... I'm not even going to say these names.

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You don't know any of them. Sure. Okay. That's

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fine. It really, you just don't. You don't know

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any of them. Tomboy. Our entire group is there.

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Chip has his shirt off. Of course he does. Because

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of course he does. Is that the first clue? Is

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he going to have his shirt off most of the time?

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That is the first clue. Okay. Because they even

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make jokes about it. Is it worthwhile for him

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to have his shirt off? No. He's not rocking much

00:12:15.309 --> 00:12:18.070
up there? Oh, right. Oh, like the body? Yeah,

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yeah. Oh, yeah, he's an attractive dude. Oh,

00:12:19.649 --> 00:12:21.950
yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah,

00:12:22.070 --> 00:12:23.990
yeah. He's an attractive dude. I will say that.

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Oh, yeah. Chip is supposed to be the love interest.

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He is the guy. He's the guy. No. No, no. We'll

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get to the love interest. Ooh. Is it him and

00:12:33.090 --> 00:12:38.139
a zombie? No. No. There is a joke. That would

00:12:38.139 --> 00:12:40.519
be a twist. I don't remember where this is, and

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I don't have notes today, so I'm just going to

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tell you ahead of time. They do have a scene

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where they talk about how you get infected. It's

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either bit or their blood gets on you. Okay.

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But they're just like, oh, that's it? And they

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say, it's DC. Well, if you'd like to find out

00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:00.379
another way, I'm sure we can pin one down for

00:13:00.379 --> 00:13:07.919
you. Oh, no. Yes. Jesus Christ. Yes. So is DC

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the not likable one? No, DC's fine. I don't think

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actually... There's a character I have not introduced.

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He's the unlikable one for me. Dusty? No, not

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Dusty. I'll get back to it. Don't worry. But

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essentially so they they decide that they're

00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:28.080
going to take out these zombies because they

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think they have the numbers So they start shooting

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and firing and like it's literally bullet waste

00:13:32.860 --> 00:13:34.659
bullet waste bullet waste, you know that kind

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of stuff But there's also a great scene where

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chip without a shirt on Decides to roundhouse

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kick One of the zombies in the face. And it is

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literally the only part of the movie I showed

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to Claire while I'm watching it on this flight.

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He literally just... And, like, kicks another

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one and then... Like, shoots these guys. Wait,

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Tema. You... Okay, you gloss over the fact that

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you watch a movie about Osama Bin Laden. On a

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plane. Yes, on a plane. Whoa. Next to another

00:14:07.539 --> 00:14:09.539
person that I have no clue who they are because

00:14:09.539 --> 00:14:13.759
our row was full. So we are watching a movie.

00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:17.779
Yes. 10 years after, or 12 years after. I'm sorry.

00:14:18.019 --> 00:14:21.500
22. Oh my God. 20 years after all of this bullshit.

00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:24.259
Yeah. We are at this point in history where we're

00:14:24.259 --> 00:14:27.039
like, cool. Nope. Not at all. Nope. You guys

00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:29.860
gave me two days. I made it work. God damn it.

00:14:31.419 --> 00:14:34.159
I would not have watched this on this plane if.

00:14:34.509 --> 00:14:37.509
Okay, and then second, rules for killing zombies.

00:14:37.669 --> 00:14:40.929
Is this consistent? Headshots. I'm sorry, I forgot.

00:14:41.129 --> 00:14:45.330
The original Navy SEAL team, literally, as soon

00:14:45.330 --> 00:14:47.029
as the zombies get released from the storage

00:14:47.029 --> 00:14:49.769
units, because they're in units, so doors open,

00:14:50.049 --> 00:14:52.649
they all get released, literally a guy is yelling,

00:14:52.789 --> 00:14:55.250
Headshot! Headshot! Headshot! Headshot! Okay,

00:14:55.370 --> 00:14:58.250
so you have to blow out the brain. Yes. That's

00:14:58.250 --> 00:15:01.450
it. That is it. You cut a leg off, they're still

00:15:01.450 --> 00:15:04.090
going to shamble over. Yep. They'll still come

00:15:04.090 --> 00:15:06.909
at you because they smell meat. The actor who

00:15:06.909 --> 00:15:08.629
plays Chip, by the way, really likes being in

00:15:08.629 --> 00:15:11.649
Christmas movies. Oh. I looked up his IMDB page.

00:15:11.769 --> 00:15:13.289
He's in movies such as Grounded for Christmas,

00:15:13.509 --> 00:15:16.470
Matchmaker Christmas, Northern Lights of Christmas.

00:15:16.710 --> 00:15:17.470
Does he wear shirt in any of those? Christmas

00:15:17.470 --> 00:15:20.370
is in the wedding. So he was trying to, you know,

00:15:20.370 --> 00:15:22.350
expand his present. Yeah, right. He's a generic

00:15:22.350 --> 00:15:24.769
white guy in Hallmark movies. Part of the holiday.

00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:27.700
Look, man. Wait, what? Part of the holiday. Oh,

00:15:27.700 --> 00:15:28.879
part of the holiday. I thought you said he was

00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:30.779
part of the holiday. He was Apollo in the Immortals

00:15:30.779 --> 00:15:33.440
movie, which I forgot until right now was a thing.

00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:36.820
Not Eternals. No, not Eternals. Oh, my gosh.

00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:41.740
How about it takes a... Marvel takes a chance

00:15:41.740 --> 00:15:44.039
on another... I think for this holiday season

00:15:44.039 --> 00:15:46.200
we need to watch It Takes a Christmas Village.

00:15:46.860 --> 00:15:49.799
Oh, boy. Yeah, no thank you. I love the IMDb

00:15:49.799 --> 00:15:52.919
description of this guy. Corey's career in front

00:15:52.919 --> 00:15:55.399
of the camera began as a baby model at the tender

00:15:55.399 --> 00:15:59.259
age of six months. That is a tender age. Yeah,

00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:01.659
he's an attractive dude. He is. And he does have

00:16:01.659 --> 00:16:04.809
the abs and everything like that. Probably not.

00:16:04.990 --> 00:16:08.190
He was voted most Hollywood -bound in Mr. Congeniality

00:16:08.190 --> 00:16:09.889
in high school. Nice. What high school did he

00:16:09.889 --> 00:16:13.909
go to? I don't know. He is also... I love how

00:16:13.909 --> 00:16:17.190
you fold in your hands. He's trained in karate,

00:16:17.429 --> 00:16:20.710
wushu, taekwondo, bagua? I've never heard of

00:16:20.710 --> 00:16:23.419
that one. And boxing. Wait, so this guy, okay,

00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:25.740
this guy can kick some ass. Yeah, he could probably

00:16:25.740 --> 00:16:28.720
totally rip any of us in half. He can do a roundabout,

00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:30.779
a roundhouse kick. Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure he

00:16:30.779 --> 00:16:32.740
can. He's not a former Power Ranger, unfortunately.

00:16:33.220 --> 00:16:35.440
Is he a stuntman in any way? Yeah, right, that

00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:39.679
sounds like... He was in a film version of Lassie

00:16:39.679 --> 00:16:45.460
in 1999. Wait, what year? 99. Oh, young kid.

00:16:45.559 --> 00:16:47.799
Nothing about being a stunt person, but his father

00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:51.399
is of mostly Irish heritage. That's all we know?

00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:55.240
That's all we know. Wow. Jill with the IMTV sleuthing

00:16:55.240 --> 00:16:57.559
over here. I love it. So their group comes across

00:16:57.559 --> 00:16:59.139
some zombies, and they're like, we're going to

00:16:59.139 --> 00:17:01.399
take them out. So they start going to town, everything

00:17:01.399 --> 00:17:05.519
like that. Oh, no. Herc got bit. Trying to save

00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:09.619
his man. Trying to save his buddy. And it's just,

00:17:09.660 --> 00:17:11.960
it's so hard because they're all just combined

00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:14.099
and they're like, you know what we need to do,

00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:19.059
right? And basically he just looks. You gotta

00:17:19.059 --> 00:17:21.140
find that third way to get infected. Yeah, right.

00:17:21.259 --> 00:17:24.720
They do not need to lick his vagina. Damn it.

00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:26.799
That's my first guess every time. But they wear

00:17:26.799 --> 00:17:33.890
pencil jams. Oh God. What? I don't know. I'm

00:17:33.890 --> 00:17:35.430
just ripping off of what you guys are talking

00:17:35.430 --> 00:17:37.910
about. Oh my God. You know, another classic horror

00:17:37.910 --> 00:17:39.390
movie. We should totally watch that. We should.

00:17:39.549 --> 00:17:44.450
That is great. So Herc got bit. So he's looking

00:17:44.450 --> 00:17:46.369
at all of them going like, you're going to take

00:17:46.369 --> 00:17:48.170
me out. No, I'm not doing this. You're going

00:17:48.170 --> 00:17:49.410
to take me out. You're going to take me out.

00:17:49.470 --> 00:17:54.369
Well, basically it finally comes down to, um,

00:17:54.529 --> 00:17:58.029
I think it's Joker agrees that he'll take him

00:17:58.029 --> 00:18:00.369
out if he plays rock, paper, scissors against

00:18:00.369 --> 00:18:04.259
him. What the fuck? And if he were to win? If

00:18:04.259 --> 00:18:10.660
Joker wins, he has to take himself out. If Herc

00:18:10.660 --> 00:18:14.539
wins, Joker has to shoot him. Herc's going out

00:18:14.539 --> 00:18:16.880
one way or another. Yeah, so of course Joker

00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:22.720
wins. So Herc is just like, oh no. But then Tomboy

00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:25.400
jumps up and is like, I'll do it. I'll do it.

00:18:25.420 --> 00:18:29.279
And shoots him. Dead. Okay. That's it? Gone.

00:18:29.819 --> 00:18:32.759
We flash forward to the next grouping of people.

00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:36.140
So this is where Dusty comes in. Oh, boy. Oh,

00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:39.700
Dusty. Dusty is a civilian who's trying to find

00:18:39.700 --> 00:18:43.460
her brother. Oh, no. Her brother is dead. How

00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:46.079
old's her brother? Huh? How old's her brother?

00:18:47.170 --> 00:18:49.730
30? Okay, good. Not like a baby brother. Not

00:18:49.730 --> 00:18:51.690
like a baby brother. No, no. He's old enough

00:18:51.690 --> 00:18:56.130
to make his own choices. So it's going to make

00:18:56.130 --> 00:18:58.970
sense why he's there in the first place. He's

00:18:58.970 --> 00:19:01.829
a conspiracy theorist who knows that Osama bin

00:19:01.829 --> 00:19:04.150
Laden is not dead. You guys want to play rock,

00:19:04.150 --> 00:19:06.509
paper, scissors to take me out? If you win, I

00:19:06.509 --> 00:19:10.609
shoot myself? Yeah, right. What if you win? I

00:19:10.609 --> 00:19:14.210
shoot myself. Wait, okay, so I'm curious. Is

00:19:14.210 --> 00:19:16.750
the story of Osama Bin Laden and how he died

00:19:16.750 --> 00:19:19.589
the same in real life as it's reported in this

00:19:19.589 --> 00:19:23.250
movie? Yeah, right. So I mean like the SEAL team

00:19:23.250 --> 00:19:25.670
takes him out, but it's a storage unit, not like

00:19:25.670 --> 00:19:28.750
in a cave. Okay, so in this universe, Osama Bin

00:19:28.750 --> 00:19:32.309
Laden was not, there's no alternate facts. Right.

00:19:32.369 --> 00:19:36.140
I'm thinking... They used the facts they had

00:19:36.140 --> 00:19:38.880
at that time. I don't think we knew everything

00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:42.079
about that whole thing. And in this movie, it's

00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:43.660
reported to the wider public that he's dead.

00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:46.680
Osama Bin Laden's dead. Gotcha. When it happens

00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:48.339
in the film, that's when the world in the film

00:19:48.339 --> 00:19:50.279
finds out. There's no zombie, no nothing. It

00:19:50.279 --> 00:19:53.279
is Osama Bin Laden is dead. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:58.220
So Derek believes that Osama Bin Laden's alive

00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:01.930
and that they're being lied to. And he is taking

00:20:01.930 --> 00:20:03.990
it as his own personal mission because of reasons

00:20:03.990 --> 00:20:07.450
we find out later to go kill Osama bin Laden.

00:20:07.589 --> 00:20:11.789
Did Derek lose a loved one? We'll find out later.

00:20:12.049 --> 00:20:14.450
Is this secretly an anti -vax movie? No. Somehow?

00:20:14.750 --> 00:20:16.730
I guess it came out in 2012. It came out in 2012.

00:20:17.029 --> 00:20:21.289
So you're right. The anti -vax movement has predated

00:20:21.289 --> 00:20:23.470
COVID. It's true. I know, but I don't believe

00:20:23.470 --> 00:20:25.369
it's an anti -vax movie. I don't believe that's

00:20:25.369 --> 00:20:27.890
what they were trying for at the end. If you

00:20:27.890 --> 00:20:29.869
could do good things, the universe will give

00:20:29.869 --> 00:20:32.309
you zombies? No. If you just believe hard enough,

00:20:32.369 --> 00:20:34.410
maybe the zombie virus didn't actually happen.

00:20:34.549 --> 00:20:37.329
No. Wow. You just gotta want it more. Yeah, you

00:20:37.329 --> 00:20:39.460
gotta want it more. See? You guys just want not

00:20:39.460 --> 00:20:41.619
to turn into a zombie. I'm learning so much from

00:20:41.619 --> 00:20:43.960
this podcast right now. Dusty's here with her

00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:47.279
guide. Oh, yeah, that. We don't even get a name.

00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:51.019
Just guide. We shall call him dude. Literally,

00:20:51.059 --> 00:20:53.359
they have the moment where it's just like, I'm

00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:57.180
so glad that you've taken me out here. Zombies.

00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:00.940
Oh, fun. That's how it's set up. We know that

00:21:00.940 --> 00:21:03.500
he's going to die because she is very thankful

00:21:03.500 --> 00:21:06.839
for the fact that he got her out there. All right,

00:21:06.839 --> 00:21:10.730
dude. So he died. He becomes a zombie and is

00:21:10.730 --> 00:21:12.430
about to attack her when all of a sudden our

00:21:12.430 --> 00:21:16.670
squad of intrepid army rangers shows up and pow,

00:21:16.710 --> 00:21:19.730
pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. Kills all the zombies.

00:21:21.750 --> 00:21:25.089
So Dusty is like, what the hell is going on?

00:21:25.190 --> 00:21:27.369
They're zombies. I don't know what's happening.

00:21:27.710 --> 00:21:36.630
So we have the guy, Doc. Doc is Australian. And

00:21:36.630 --> 00:21:38.490
has basically said, we're just the leftovers

00:21:38.490 --> 00:21:42.730
now because they pulled out of Afghanistan. Wait,

00:21:42.769 --> 00:21:44.369
is this where this movie takes place? Is it Afghanistan?

00:21:44.650 --> 00:21:47.230
Yes. Oh, that would be good to know. I mean,

00:21:47.230 --> 00:21:49.670
it's obvious, but at the same time, you and I

00:21:49.670 --> 00:21:51.789
both have the same like, oh. Sorry, it is Afghanistan,

00:21:52.109 --> 00:21:54.789
yes. So basically, he reveals that they're the

00:21:54.789 --> 00:21:58.440
only ones left. Yes. The Taliban are turned into

00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:01.559
zombies. Yes, that's a thing that's happening.

00:22:01.579 --> 00:22:04.420
That's happening. My bad. Don't get bit. Don't

00:22:04.420 --> 00:22:06.059
get blood on you. That's when the joke probably

00:22:06.059 --> 00:22:08.640
comes in, but I don't remember because I didn't

00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:12.660
write it down. Yep. And so it's just one of those

00:22:12.660 --> 00:22:14.220
things where they're like, okay, we're going

00:22:14.220 --> 00:22:17.279
to go to this base. Hopefully your brother's

00:22:17.279 --> 00:22:19.619
there because that's where we think whatever

00:22:19.619 --> 00:22:23.240
we're looking for is there. Okay. The brother,

00:22:23.279 --> 00:22:27.960
meanwhile, is like, bye phone. Bumbo. Thanks,

00:22:28.039 --> 00:22:30.019
buddy. Wow, the Browns recovered a fumble. I

00:22:30.019 --> 00:22:32.519
do. It's insane, man. Yeah, that never happens.

00:22:32.579 --> 00:22:36.019
That was incredible. No, there's a foul on the

00:22:36.019 --> 00:22:44.500
play. I may die. Put it back. 50 yards. Oh, my

00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:49.000
God. First down. I'm sad. Anyway. Okay. I'm very

00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:53.440
sad. So the brother is, meanwhile, getting all

00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:55.380
this information. He finds these zombies with

00:22:55.380 --> 00:22:57.900
these plans. And so he's like, oh, I'm going

00:22:57.900 --> 00:22:59.859
to get that. So he sneaks behind a zombie, cuts

00:22:59.859 --> 00:23:03.400
off the bag, gets the plans. These plans aren't

00:23:03.400 --> 00:23:06.579
on a map anywhere. So he has the information

00:23:06.579 --> 00:23:10.839
to get to the base. But he's on his own still.

00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:15.339
And so he goes about his way. We get back to

00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:21.569
our squad. Squad. Squad. Our squad is at a point

00:23:21.569 --> 00:23:23.470
where they're like, okay, we need to get past

00:23:23.470 --> 00:23:28.210
these zombies. Right. Okay. Without Herc. Without

00:23:28.210 --> 00:23:31.289
Herc. Herc is long gone. Herc is dead. Herc is

00:23:31.289 --> 00:23:35.829
dead. Yeah, Herc got shot. Tomboy killed him.

00:23:35.910 --> 00:23:38.029
How could you do it? And by the way. Somebody

00:23:38.029 --> 00:23:41.650
had to. Tomboy is like their long range specialist.

00:23:41.930 --> 00:23:44.529
Ah. Should she, like, go up on, like, a roof

00:23:44.529 --> 00:23:48.009
and, like, I'm gonna... Sorry, I gotta go, like...

00:23:48.009 --> 00:23:49.890
I don't really know how to shoot sniper rifles,

00:23:50.069 --> 00:23:53.839
man. But she also has a samurai sword. Oh, she

00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:56.660
has a samurai sword? Yes. Does that explain where

00:23:56.660 --> 00:24:00.700
that comes from? No. Yeah. Oh, my God. But remember

00:24:00.700 --> 00:24:02.599
that first time when they were killing zombies?

00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:04.480
She just all of a sudden decides that she's going

00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:06.519
to pull out the sword and just go to town. I'm

00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:07.839
sorry. I don't know what any of these characters

00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:10.039
look like. Is she just like... So is there any

00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:13.140
reason? Is she like the token Asian character?

00:24:13.299 --> 00:24:16.559
No, she's a blonde bombshell. Okay, got it. I

00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:18.660
don't know which answer of that would have been

00:24:18.660 --> 00:24:21.200
better, but it's still kind of weird that he

00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.940
just has a samurai sword. not katana from suicide

00:24:23.940 --> 00:24:26.279
squad yeah she's right that's what i was like

00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:29.140
is she like okay equally fucked up movie she

00:24:29.140 --> 00:24:33.220
was thing one and cat in the hat oh wait the

00:24:33.220 --> 00:24:37.380
mike myers cat in the hat thing one the cat in

00:24:37.380 --> 00:24:40.400
the hat i just found this out now she was a child

00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:43.619
when that movie was filmed right like It had

00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:45.859
to be like a little kid. She was 10. She was

00:24:45.859 --> 00:24:48.240
10. She got the katana from Mike Myers. Okay,

00:24:48.299 --> 00:24:51.640
makes sense. This is all coming together. This

00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:53.680
is part of the greater cat in the hat, Dr. Seuss

00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:55.359
universe. I'm actually glad to see she's got

00:24:55.359 --> 00:24:57.519
some things now. Okay. Like she was in an episode

00:24:57.519 --> 00:24:59.539
of Criminal Minds, okay, episode of Magnum P

00:24:59.539 --> 00:25:02.400
.I., but she's like on things. Yeah. She's a

00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:05.200
working actor. Yeah. Okay, so why the katana

00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:07.599
though? No clue. Cool. Just because it's cool.

00:25:08.660 --> 00:25:10.660
It's honestly all you need. That's your question?

00:25:10.740 --> 00:25:12.819
It's Japanese folded steel. We had a shirtless

00:25:12.819 --> 00:25:15.619
army man, roundhouse kick a zombie, and that's

00:25:15.619 --> 00:25:17.440
your question. That's fucking awesome. That makes

00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:20.339
sense. I want to see some zombie dinosaurs. The

00:25:20.339 --> 00:25:21.779
shirt's going to weigh you down for the kick.

00:25:21.900 --> 00:25:23.160
I don't understand. Yeah, where are the dinosaurs

00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:25.319
at? There's no dinosaurs. Is there a laser fight?

00:25:25.319 --> 00:25:27.480
I almost said dinosaurs. I almost did a sound

00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:28.920
of thunder, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

00:25:29.740 --> 00:25:33.539
Oh, that'd be fun. I just like... I don't think

00:25:33.539 --> 00:25:35.740
any soldier in Afghanistan was retrofitted with

00:25:35.740 --> 00:25:39.220
a katana. Because it's cool, bruh. It's pretty

00:25:39.220 --> 00:25:44.200
cool, though. You're glossing over what is bound

00:25:44.200 --> 00:25:46.859
to be the next favorite part of this movie. Is

00:25:46.859 --> 00:25:48.980
there a flamethrower? No, there's not a flamethrower.

00:25:49.160 --> 00:25:52.859
There's Big Mama. Or Big Mama. Mama or Mamba?

00:25:52.900 --> 00:25:57.480
Mama. I said Mamba because I'm... Whatever. Big

00:25:57.480 --> 00:26:01.819
Mama is like this big... that just makes them

00:26:01.819 --> 00:26:05.480
evaporate into nothing. What? Which I think is

00:26:05.480 --> 00:26:07.720
just a goof. Well, right, right. So is it like

00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:11.220
a rocket launcher thing? It's like a big bullet

00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:14.589
thing. A big bullet? Okay, you're saying big

00:26:14.589 --> 00:26:16.309
bullet, but you're making a very, like, you know,

00:26:16.309 --> 00:26:18.349
the okay hand, like, little tiny thing. No, look

00:26:18.349 --> 00:26:20.289
at this thing. Like, bigger bullet than, like,

00:26:20.289 --> 00:26:22.009
a... Oh, oh, like a .50 cal rifle. Yeah. Like

00:26:22.009 --> 00:26:24.549
a .50 caliber. Like, if a normal bullet is, like,

00:26:24.549 --> 00:26:26.109
here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking, like,

00:26:26.190 --> 00:26:27.829
here. So it's, like, a big -ass fucking sniper

00:26:27.829 --> 00:26:28.470
rifle. Yeah. Okay, got it. That's what you think

00:26:28.470 --> 00:26:31.210
of the first Hellboy when he gets his, like,

00:26:31.210 --> 00:26:34.490
big baby. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I was thinking

00:26:34.490 --> 00:26:36.630
of the men in black, like, little tiny pistol

00:26:36.630 --> 00:26:38.029
things. But apparently when you're shot by the

00:26:38.029 --> 00:26:41.309
big mama, you disappear because they just evaporate

00:26:41.309 --> 00:26:43.640
into steam. Well, so it's just because the bullet

00:26:43.640 --> 00:26:46.700
is that huge that you just exploded in a bloody,

00:26:46.859 --> 00:26:49.839
like, rain puddle? Yeah, pretty much. But there's

00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:52.660
not even blood. It's just, like, steam. Yeah,

00:26:52.779 --> 00:26:55.480
or, like, sand. Sand. Yeah, it's just, like,

00:26:55.539 --> 00:26:58.099
a puff of sand, and, like, it's done. He's gone.

00:26:58.779 --> 00:27:02.819
So they get to this group, and, of course, who

00:27:02.819 --> 00:27:09.099
dies? Doc. Doc. No! Doc the leader. He's died.

00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:13.950
But he got bit. And Tomboy looks at him and goes,

00:27:14.049 --> 00:27:17.430
you were supposed to have my babies. What? Whoa!

00:27:18.609 --> 00:27:21.170
And then, like, there's nothing alluding to this.

00:27:21.210 --> 00:27:23.990
He said to him, you were supposed to have my

00:27:23.990 --> 00:27:27.509
babies? Yes! I'm supposed to have your babies.

00:27:27.670 --> 00:27:31.210
Your babies. Yeah, that's a lie. She's like a

00:27:31.210 --> 00:27:32.829
praying mantis and she's going to rip off his

00:27:32.829 --> 00:27:35.009
baby. No, honestly, honestly, kind of here for

00:27:35.009 --> 00:27:37.630
it, though. Yeah. Like, you know, very, very

00:27:37.630 --> 00:27:39.390
developing in gender roles, if you will. There

00:27:39.390 --> 00:27:42.039
was no allusion to this. And all of a sudden

00:27:42.039 --> 00:27:45.660
she just... What? Yes! There was nothing! How

00:27:45.660 --> 00:27:47.880
is he going to carry the kids? How is he going

00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:50.640
to push out of his dick? Like, none of this makes

00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:52.279
sense. Wait, wait, wait. It's like a kangaroo

00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:54.500
pouch. You just carry them literally. You're

00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:57.079
supposed to have my babies. That's what I'm saying.

00:27:57.180 --> 00:28:01.470
I'm supposed to have your babies. The woman has

00:28:01.470 --> 00:28:03.849
the child. I guess that's true. She has to have

00:28:03.849 --> 00:28:06.109
the babies. You're right. This does line up with

00:28:06.109 --> 00:28:07.910
what I learned in home ec - or, uh, home ec.

00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:10.789
Home ec! No wonder you didn't learn that! Ohio!

00:28:11.589 --> 00:28:15.829
The Ohio! Listen, I told you guys. Catholic Ohio

00:28:15.829 --> 00:28:19.809
High School's crazy educational system. Learned

00:28:19.809 --> 00:28:21.009
everything you needed to know in home economics.

00:28:21.369 --> 00:28:23.329
You were supposed to have my babies. Maybe it's

00:28:23.329 --> 00:28:25.599
like... He's gonna watch it. It's like a seahorse.

00:28:25.640 --> 00:28:27.660
It has kids already. It's a seahorse. Yeah, yeah.

00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:30.980
I don't know. But it was not alluded to at all.

00:28:31.019 --> 00:28:33.559
All of a sudden they're just making out and basically...

00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:36.460
That's not safe. Well, and basically DC says

00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:39.900
to her and just like, you do realize he was infected,

00:28:40.200 --> 00:28:42.960
right? Yeah. And she goes, I don't care. And

00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:46.859
they walk off and the next scene is her with

00:28:46.859 --> 00:28:53.279
her katana just like... just like angry slashing,

00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:56.680
you know, but like over the top Tai Chi with

00:28:56.680 --> 00:29:00.079
a sword. Like cool. Is there like an emotional

00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:03.819
like soundtrack? Yeah. No, there's sounds, but

00:29:03.819 --> 00:29:06.039
it's not like emotional soundtrack. Slow -mo.

00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:08.240
Yeah. No, there's no slow -mo. We're not playing

00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:12.240
Hallelujah in the background. It is swing speed.

00:29:12.779 --> 00:29:15.079
Oh, it is swing speed. So we're talking. Yeah.

00:29:15.299 --> 00:29:18.549
Yeah. She's, she's getting it. Okay. Wait, wait,

00:29:18.549 --> 00:29:21.289
so she's saying she's just, I smooched my, I

00:29:21.289 --> 00:29:25.450
smooched my, my zombie, dying lover, so now I'm

00:29:25.450 --> 00:29:27.690
just gonna go and chop a bunch of zombies before

00:29:27.690 --> 00:29:29.910
I off myself? No, she didn't, she didn't chop

00:29:29.910 --> 00:29:31.569
a bunch of zombies. This is, like, after the

00:29:31.569 --> 00:29:33.730
zombie thing. She's just mad and, like, getting

00:29:33.730 --> 00:29:36.089
her steam out. Oh, so she's, she's literally

00:29:36.089 --> 00:29:37.950
punching the air but slicing with her tongue.

00:29:38.049 --> 00:29:39.289
Yeah, slicing the air. Yeah, you know how, like,

00:29:39.289 --> 00:29:41.630
Furiosa screams and falls on the sand and it's

00:29:41.630 --> 00:29:45.609
an emotional moment? Yeah. Tomboy is just...

00:29:45.609 --> 00:29:47.690
But with the sword. Mad Max Fury Road is a good

00:29:47.690 --> 00:29:49.170
movie, by the way. Yes, Mad Max Fury Road is

00:29:49.170 --> 00:29:51.589
a very good movie. And I feel bad even bringing

00:29:51.589 --> 00:29:52.450
that up in conversation with this one. My point

00:29:52.450 --> 00:29:55.150
is that some people express emotions in a silent,

00:29:55.250 --> 00:29:58.670
beautiful cinematography anguish. Yeah. Other

00:29:58.670 --> 00:30:01.250
people wield their weapons around that could

00:30:01.250 --> 00:30:06.089
cut themselves apart with. I studied the blade!

00:30:07.400 --> 00:30:09.420
I'm going to introduce the rest of the characters

00:30:09.420 --> 00:30:11.440
and their defining features, but we're going

00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:15.359
to take a break. We've got to give a shout -out

00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:18.680
to the two people that got our hints first. There's

00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:20.819
RobotMonkeyCat. That is their Twitter handle,

00:30:20.920 --> 00:30:25.140
at RobotMonkeyCat. That's a shout -out to their

00:30:25.140 --> 00:30:27.559
Twitter. They do an occasional segment on a radio

00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:30.700
show where they discuss movies. That radio show

00:30:30.700 --> 00:30:33.650
is Self -Help Radio. And the segment is called

00:30:33.650 --> 00:30:37.029
Chuck, which is Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated

00:30:37.029 --> 00:30:40.730
Cinema Corner. Fun. So Chuck, this is a shout

00:30:40.730 --> 00:30:42.630
out to you. You got it first. Congratulations.

00:30:43.109 --> 00:30:46.049
The second shout out is to the Retro Game Club

00:30:46.049 --> 00:30:50.809
podcast. Their Twitter is at RGCPodcast. You

00:30:50.809 --> 00:30:53.829
can also check out their website, RetroGameClub

00:30:53.829 --> 00:30:57.089
.net. So we're going to take a break, and then

00:30:57.089 --> 00:30:59.410
I'll come back with an introduction to the rest

00:30:59.410 --> 00:31:01.109
of the characters, because that's when we got

00:31:01.109 --> 00:31:06.910
their defining features. And we're back! Hey!

00:31:07.589 --> 00:31:11.650
Talking Osambi. Oh my goodness. Osambi, can you

00:31:11.650 --> 00:31:17.859
see? Somehow that feels really wrong. Really,

00:31:17.859 --> 00:31:20.180
really wrong. I'm somehow even more uncomfortable

00:31:20.180 --> 00:31:23.339
than I was two seconds ago. Oh, goodness. So

00:31:23.339 --> 00:31:26.099
the characters we have left are Chip, Dusty,

00:31:26.119 --> 00:31:31.099
Derek, Joker, Tomboy, DC, and Chapo. That's a

00:31:31.099 --> 00:31:33.769
lot of people to kill. Wait, I thought tomboy

00:31:33.769 --> 00:31:36.769
is like... She's pending on whether or not she'll

00:31:36.769 --> 00:31:38.710
be infected. So she purposely infected herself

00:31:38.710 --> 00:31:41.210
by making it now. Maybe. We don't know. We don't

00:31:41.210 --> 00:31:43.849
know. We just know that blood on skin and bite.

00:31:44.349 --> 00:31:46.990
Blood like in the acid, say, or like, oh no,

00:31:47.069 --> 00:31:48.730
I have a paper cut and then some more blood got

00:31:48.730 --> 00:31:50.589
on it and now they've found the entry wound.

00:31:51.049 --> 00:31:53.670
That's how it works. Maybe. Or is it just like,

00:31:53.690 --> 00:31:55.990
ah, it's on me. I'll introduce you to Chapo first.

00:31:57.269 --> 00:32:00.759
He's Hispanic. Okay. Oh, jeez. That's it. That's

00:32:00.759 --> 00:32:03.559
it. I didn't want to ask the question. That's

00:32:03.559 --> 00:32:06.200
the character. That's it. Is he? Yep. So they

00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:09.420
call them Chapo. Wow, that's very cool. Yep.

00:32:10.579 --> 00:32:13.880
I'm not offended at all. No, that's a very normal

00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:17.819
and... Okay. I'm going dumbest explanation to

00:32:17.819 --> 00:32:20.220
most fun because they do have some good ones.

00:32:20.339 --> 00:32:24.730
Oh, this is fun. Joker tells jokes. Oh, okay.

00:32:24.750 --> 00:32:27.609
I get it, guys. I mean, whatever. Mass Effect

00:32:27.609 --> 00:32:29.390
did the same exact fucking thing. Does he do

00:32:29.390 --> 00:32:31.730
tricks with his fellow candlesticks? He does

00:32:31.730 --> 00:32:35.869
not. We got Chip. Off the old block? Yeah, yeah,

00:32:35.930 --> 00:32:38.029
yeah. Does he have a chip on his shoulder? Is

00:32:38.029 --> 00:32:39.670
there some sort of tragic backstory? It's because

00:32:39.670 --> 00:32:42.390
he's chipped. What? Is it like chipping his tooth?

00:32:42.609 --> 00:32:45.309
No, he's chipped. Oh, chipped like ripped. Like

00:32:45.309 --> 00:32:48.630
ripped. Oh, that's a stretch. Is that a thing

00:32:48.630 --> 00:32:50.250
that people call it when they're ripped? I've

00:32:50.250 --> 00:32:52.049
never heard that before. Never heard of it before

00:32:52.049 --> 00:32:53.339
either. I feel like if I were like... I don't

00:32:53.339 --> 00:32:56.359
know. But you guys haven't asked about DC yet.

00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:58.339
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the triangle bod, like

00:32:58.339 --> 00:33:01.359
broad shoulders, like Swolo, Kylo Ren kind of

00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:02.759
bod. No, we're stuck on ship now. You guys are

00:33:02.759 --> 00:33:06.000
stuck on ship. You have not even heard about

00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:11.319
DC yet. District of Columbia. Nope. So DC constantly

00:33:11.319 --> 00:33:14.700
yells about Carol when he's killing these things.

00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:18.259
Who's Carol? Carol! Carol! Carol, the fucking

00:33:18.259 --> 00:33:21.549
physical therapist. Carol, the plastic surgeon.

00:33:21.930 --> 00:33:24.910
And he's just like yelling these things. And

00:33:24.910 --> 00:33:28.009
so we get into the backstory of why he's yelling

00:33:28.009 --> 00:33:31.569
Carol. He's loved this girl since first grade.

00:33:31.650 --> 00:33:36.029
His wife, Carol. She's the best. But then she

00:33:36.029 --> 00:33:39.230
got addicted to painkillers. And she started

00:33:39.230 --> 00:33:42.430
doing things that are not okay for a marriage.

00:33:42.710 --> 00:33:47.329
Like cheating with the plastic surgeon. While

00:33:47.329 --> 00:33:53.980
he's off at war. Oh, no. I know. So, his name

00:33:53.980 --> 00:33:56.720
is Ryan Parker. Where does the DC come from?

00:33:57.380 --> 00:34:03.059
Divorce Court. Oh, no. This is the best fucking

00:34:03.059 --> 00:34:06.480
part. I could not stop dying. He goes, everybody

00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:08.579
calls me DC, but my name is really Ryan Parker.

00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:11.380
It has nothing to do with DC. And so, like, Dusty's

00:34:11.380 --> 00:34:14.219
like, why did I call you DC? He goes, well, I

00:34:14.219 --> 00:34:15.880
went through Divorce Court for a while, so people

00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:18.179
just started calling me DC. That is... That's

00:34:18.179 --> 00:34:21.079
really stupid. Okay, sure, why not? Him and Chip

00:34:21.079 --> 00:34:24.980
have a bromance like none other. Good for them.

00:34:25.219 --> 00:34:30.059
So him, Chip, Dusty, they decide they need to

00:34:30.059 --> 00:34:33.000
split up at this point. Let's split up, gang.

00:34:33.420 --> 00:34:37.039
They've also... So they've decided to split up

00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:42.019
to get around this cavern thing. To get to the

00:34:42.019 --> 00:34:44.780
military base, see who gets there first. There's

00:34:44.780 --> 00:34:47.599
an airstrike scheduled for 24 hours. Of course

00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:49.659
there's an airstrike. So they just need to book

00:34:49.659 --> 00:34:52.059
it as fast as they can. Okay, so we have a time

00:34:52.059 --> 00:34:57.360
limit now. Yes. So Chapo, Joker, and Tomboy all

00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:01.000
go the opposite way. So they go. They're on their

00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:03.940
way. They, of course, come across zombies. Problem.

00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:06.820
Chapo, Joker, and Tomboy are pinned down. They're

00:35:06.820 --> 00:35:10.380
in trouble. Oh, no. All of a sudden, this caravan

00:35:10.380 --> 00:35:13.059
comes in. And meanwhile, there's insurgents,

00:35:13.079 --> 00:35:16.889
too. Like, there's, like, real Taliban insurgents,

00:35:16.889 --> 00:35:21.590
not just zombies. Okay, got it. Humans. Humans,

00:35:21.650 --> 00:35:25.050
yeah. That are also aiming for Americans. Sure,

00:35:25.150 --> 00:35:28.570
got it. You know, that kind of stuff. So, basically,

00:35:29.670 --> 00:35:31.869
they've gone one way. They're pinned down. All

00:35:31.869 --> 00:35:34.070
of a sudden, this car pulls up and starts to,

00:35:34.090 --> 00:35:38.090
like, save the day. Car driven by Derek. Derek

00:35:38.090 --> 00:35:40.590
has found this group. Derek's the brother, the

00:35:40.590 --> 00:35:42.630
conspiracy theorist. Because you guys are all

00:35:42.630 --> 00:35:45.349
looking at me confused. Yes, you guys are all

00:35:45.349 --> 00:35:47.230
looking at me confused. That's how long we've

00:35:47.230 --> 00:35:52.250
forgotten about Derek. Derek has a dumb hat and

00:35:52.250 --> 00:35:54.469
will be referred to as dumb hat the rest of the

00:35:54.469 --> 00:36:02.260
way. Yeah, right. Dumb hat's fine. Coming close.

00:36:02.539 --> 00:36:06.780
Oh, no. I mean, it's close enough. This is an

00:36:06.780 --> 00:36:10.119
hour and a half. Wait, I called you out on movie

00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:14.599
time. It is an hour and 32 minutes. Oh, shorter

00:36:14.599 --> 00:36:18.320
than Venom. Shorter than Venom. Plus, by the

00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:22.280
way, they've also included in this IMDb plot

00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:24.659
that Dusty is a yoga instructor, which I never

00:36:24.659 --> 00:36:26.880
knew from the actual plot. Okay, good for Dusty.

00:36:26.940 --> 00:36:30.110
Yeah. That's good character work by the actor.

00:36:30.670 --> 00:36:32.829
At this point we get to know a little more about

00:36:32.829 --> 00:36:35.349
Dusty. And she sounds like she has a similar

00:36:35.349 --> 00:36:39.889
accent to Gal Gadot. So I've just called her

00:36:39.889 --> 00:36:45.769
Gal Gadot from the rest of the time. So Gal Gadot

00:36:45.769 --> 00:36:50.210
and Chip have a little moment together. So remember

00:36:50.210 --> 00:36:52.949
they're supposed to be love interests. Hopefully

00:36:52.949 --> 00:36:55.570
they both make it out alive. Do you think love

00:36:55.570 --> 00:36:58.349
could bloom on the battlefield? They might. And

00:36:58.349 --> 00:37:02.269
Dusty in their first encounter shot at Chip because

00:37:02.269 --> 00:37:06.610
she thought he was a zombie. So there's a little

00:37:06.610 --> 00:37:08.750
bit of tension. There's a little bit of tension.

00:37:08.849 --> 00:37:11.230
But, you know, they talk it out. Yeah, right.

00:37:11.429 --> 00:37:14.010
Yeah, they talk it out. They get it going. Then

00:37:14.010 --> 00:37:16.449
they get attacked. And they're both pinned down.

00:37:16.489 --> 00:37:18.449
And they save each other. But you know who has

00:37:18.449 --> 00:37:23.329
to take the hit? Derek. DC. Ooh. Not the worst

00:37:23.329 --> 00:37:26.550
part. DC got bit in the leg, but it's not a major

00:37:26.550 --> 00:37:30.309
artery, so he has some time. He might be able

00:37:30.309 --> 00:37:36.590
to survive. He doesn't survive. but he's bleeding

00:37:36.590 --> 00:37:39.969
profusely so what has to happen Chip has to take

00:37:39.969 --> 00:37:45.889
his shirt off to wrap the leg yeah gotta get

00:37:45.889 --> 00:37:48.710
that fan service in man so his leg is wrapped

00:37:48.710 --> 00:37:52.190
with Chip's shirt Chip and DC have this really

00:37:52.190 --> 00:37:54.090
tender moment where they say goodbye to each

00:37:54.090 --> 00:37:56.769
other and it's actually kind of heartbreaking

00:37:56.769 --> 00:37:59.409
because they are the best romance on screen even

00:37:59.409 --> 00:38:03.500
though they are not the real one They really

00:38:03.500 --> 00:38:06.079
do have a good bromance, I will say. Nice. I

00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:10.360
like that. So Derek gets the other guys. They

00:38:10.360 --> 00:38:13.179
find these guys. They're able to get to a spot

00:38:13.179 --> 00:38:16.639
where the car breaks down. So left standing,

00:38:16.860 --> 00:38:22.179
we have Chapo, Joker, Tomboy, Dusty, Derek, and

00:38:22.179 --> 00:38:24.840
Chip. That's a lot of people to kill. Yeah. That's

00:38:24.840 --> 00:38:26.980
a lot of people to kill. Yeah. Busy day ahead.

00:38:27.739 --> 00:38:30.619
They realize that there's a trap set at the camp

00:38:30.619 --> 00:38:33.920
they're trying to go to. Oh, yeah. It is a zombie

00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:39.159
that has a suicide vest on. Ooh. So are the zombies

00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:41.280
smart, or is that just a coincidence? That's

00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:42.639
just a coincidence. Okay, they're not smart.

00:38:42.679 --> 00:38:44.179
Oh, so they just happen to have a suicide vest

00:38:44.179 --> 00:38:46.519
on. They happen to have a suicide vest on. Yeah,

00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:48.139
while he was getting ready. So this is not Resident

00:38:48.139 --> 00:38:51.980
Evil 5, where you had zombies with AKs holding

00:38:51.980 --> 00:38:55.440
zombies. Those zombies are smart. Right, that's

00:38:55.440 --> 00:38:56.599
what I'm saying. Those are smart zombies. They

00:38:56.599 --> 00:38:59.679
had... So what they allude to is that the Taliban

00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:02.400
are so willing to die for their cause that they

00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:04.860
willingly turned into zombies that they ended

00:39:04.860 --> 00:39:09.340
up putting vests on. Oh, geez. Okay, cool. But

00:39:09.340 --> 00:39:11.199
then they killed them and buried them in the

00:39:11.199 --> 00:39:16.340
sand to be traps. Oh, so like zombie landmines?

00:39:16.579 --> 00:39:22.039
Yeah, zombie landmines. Okay. Creative. Why could

00:39:22.039 --> 00:39:25.579
he just lay down normal landmines? Well, some

00:39:25.579 --> 00:39:27.980
of them are real. Some of them are alive still.

00:39:28.480 --> 00:39:31.960
And so they pop out of the sand when stuff happens.

00:39:31.960 --> 00:39:35.400
Alive like zombified alive? Zombified alive.

00:39:36.059 --> 00:39:39.639
No, zombified alive. So they stand up when they

00:39:39.639 --> 00:39:44.440
sense meats in the area. Okay, got it. So they

00:39:44.440 --> 00:39:46.440
had to get around this field and then all of

00:39:46.440 --> 00:39:48.400
a sudden it just became, run! Let's get out of

00:39:48.400 --> 00:39:51.760
here! Go, go, go, go, go! They do. Somehow, some

00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:53.519
way, they get past it. But then the insurgents

00:39:53.519 --> 00:39:57.460
are there to fire at them. Somehow, Derek gets

00:39:57.460 --> 00:40:00.320
separated from the group. Yep. And he ends up

00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:06.099
in the cave where Osambi is hiding. Oh. And Osambi

00:40:06.099 --> 00:40:08.559
is, like, chained up, you know, and basically

00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:15.019
the new leaders of Al -Qaeda are, like... We

00:40:15.019 --> 00:40:17.920
know we've succeeded because Osama's still alive

00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:20.519
and that kind of stuff. But they chained him

00:40:20.519 --> 00:40:24.019
up because he would eat them as quickly as anyone

00:40:24.019 --> 00:40:28.260
else. There's no cure in this universe. Dusty

00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:32.099
and Chip also are able to get into this cave

00:40:32.099 --> 00:40:37.079
after Derek to try to find him. They have their

00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:40.300
moment of like, oh, I really like you, blah,

00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:42.829
blah, blah. We survived the list, let's get coffee.

00:40:43.110 --> 00:40:50.250
Exactly, that kind of stuff. They get to the

00:40:50.250 --> 00:40:53.429
point of the major, like, Al -Qaeda leaders.

00:40:55.110 --> 00:40:58.449
A ruckus happens. A lot of craziness happens.

00:40:58.809 --> 00:41:01.150
They get into a storage room where they're kind

00:41:01.150 --> 00:41:05.650
of, like, trapped. Derek offers to sacrifice

00:41:05.650 --> 00:41:09.630
himself to save them. So meanwhile, he's just

00:41:09.630 --> 00:41:11.869
basically like, strapped himself into the storage

00:41:11.869 --> 00:41:14.949
room with, like, two huge machine guns and just

00:41:14.949 --> 00:41:17.070
starts firing at all the zombies that come through.

00:41:17.170 --> 00:41:21.110
Okay. Has his mouse from the Matrix moment? He

00:41:21.110 --> 00:41:26.070
is... Yes. He is laughing his head off. He is

00:41:26.070 --> 00:41:29.750
enjoying this. Okay. This is Derek, not Joker.

00:41:29.869 --> 00:41:31.630
I know, but, like, I'm not Jared Leto Joker.

00:41:31.869 --> 00:41:36.090
Yes. Meanwhile, all the zombies that now have

00:41:36.090 --> 00:41:39.690
died clear the path. He's now run out of bullets.

00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:45.400
For a zombie. Oh, no, dude. And so, like, Derek's

00:41:45.400 --> 00:41:47.440
looking at him and is like, I knew I'd be the

00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:49.960
one to kill you. What? And, like, that kind of

00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:52.039
stuff. And, like, he's out of bullets, you know?

00:41:52.059 --> 00:41:53.760
We're wondering what happened. Hand -to -hand

00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:59.599
combat. Nope. Zombie Krav Maga? Nope. So this

00:41:59.599 --> 00:42:03.099
storage room is an armory. And just so happened

00:42:03.099 --> 00:42:08.000
behind Derek... Is a rocket launcher. Alright,

00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:14.800
okay. Eat this, you son of a bitch. The cave

00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:19.159
explodes. Dusty and Chip are like, Derek, no!

00:42:19.820 --> 00:42:23.780
Because they realize he's probably dead. He survives.

00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:26.000
Hashtag he survives this. Of course he does.

00:42:26.079 --> 00:42:28.760
He survives this. Did he dive into a barrel or

00:42:28.760 --> 00:42:31.519
a refrigerator? No. There's no reason why. He's

00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:34.000
just all of a sudden out of the cave and he's

00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:37.699
back with them. I'm okay. Two thumbs up. I got

00:42:37.699 --> 00:42:40.699
it on my limbs. Yeah. Hashtag American freedom,

00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:42.780
guys. Yeah, that's what it buys you. And I will

00:42:42.780 --> 00:42:46.809
say I forgot that Joker dies. Joker died. Did

00:42:46.809 --> 00:42:49.809
he get caught out in the blaze of glory? No,

00:42:49.969 --> 00:42:53.269
he got hit by something or bit by something.

00:42:53.550 --> 00:42:56.489
I think he got shot by the insurgents. And basically,

00:42:56.530 --> 00:43:00.909
he is dying in the arms and tells one last joke,

00:43:00.969 --> 00:43:03.989
which isn't funny. And it's supposed to be this

00:43:03.989 --> 00:43:05.969
sour note and everything like that. But really,

00:43:06.010 --> 00:43:07.590
you don't feel anything, obviously, because I

00:43:07.590 --> 00:43:09.349
forgot it happened. Yeah, I was going to say.

00:43:09.510 --> 00:43:13.349
Yeah. So Joker's dead. Chapo's fine. Chip is

00:43:13.349 --> 00:43:15.289
fine. Dusty's fine. Derek's somehow fine. What

00:43:15.289 --> 00:43:19.349
about Tomboy? Tomboy is also fine, yes. Oh. Yeah,

00:43:19.389 --> 00:43:21.829
Tomboy's fine. She never had questions for kissing

00:43:21.829 --> 00:43:25.530
a zombie man. Yeah, she never got effects or

00:43:25.530 --> 00:43:27.210
anything like that. What a breakthrough for zombie

00:43:27.210 --> 00:43:29.949
culture. Yes. You can have a make -out girlfriend.

00:43:30.309 --> 00:43:35.369
You sure can. The only thing I want to address

00:43:35.369 --> 00:43:38.429
about the end, because it was pretty funny. So

00:43:38.429 --> 00:43:42.019
Chip and Dusty are talking about, like, Or they're

00:43:42.019 --> 00:43:43.960
all talking about, well, I have some leave now.

00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:46.579
I could probably go on vacation or something.

00:43:46.699 --> 00:43:48.719
And Chip's like, yeah, me too. And Dusty goes,

00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:52.019
what about Alaska? Chip goes, yeah, I'm in. Dusty

00:43:52.019 --> 00:43:54.360
goes, it's a little cold. You might have to wear

00:43:54.360 --> 00:44:04.039
shirts. Got him. So, yeah. So it wasn't the zombie

00:44:04.039 --> 00:44:07.400
apocalypse. So the zombie military arm of the

00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:09.559
Taliban is just done? We don't have to worry

00:44:09.559 --> 00:44:12.800
about that? Is there an ending shot of a zombie's

00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:17.360
hand reaching up? Or one of the crew concealing

00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:19.800
a bite at the very end? Or they hide the hand

00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:21.699
and they're like, we can regrow him. Did they

00:44:21.699 --> 00:44:24.519
have the audacity to tease a sequel? There was

00:44:24.519 --> 00:44:26.760
no after -credits scene, so I don't think there

00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:31.119
is a sequel. There's definitely a way it could

00:44:31.119 --> 00:44:34.019
have been open. Okay. Because there's drugs still.

00:44:34.139 --> 00:44:37.860
Like, it still exists. Gotcha. So they were explaining

00:44:37.860 --> 00:44:42.380
how this drug is a real drug that they were able

00:44:42.380 --> 00:44:45.619
to modify. Right. So it's very easy to modify

00:44:45.619 --> 00:44:48.099
this drug. They have the way to do it. So it

00:44:48.099 --> 00:44:51.880
could happen again. Bioterrorism. Yes. But I

00:44:51.880 --> 00:44:56.059
don't... With Osama Bin Laden really dead again...

00:44:56.880 --> 00:44:59.820
I don't know how you go Osambi 2. No, that's

00:44:59.820 --> 00:45:05.280
where you get Saddam Hussein. Oh, my God. All

00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:07.719
right. Yeah, sure. That's a good one. You never

00:45:07.719 --> 00:45:14.059
see it coming. Saddam Hussein. Yeah, yeah. Saddam

00:45:14.059 --> 00:45:20.539
Hussein. Saddam Hussein. Saddam Zombie Hussein.

00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:26.739
Sure. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. maybe there's

00:45:26.739 --> 00:45:29.760
another deceased evil dude like we could get

00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:33.480
like zombie hitler no it's just cliche zombie

00:45:33.480 --> 00:45:37.780
hitler zombie hitler zombie hitler zombie hitler

00:45:37.780 --> 00:45:44.590
yeah yeah yeah okay okay okay fidel zombo Oh,

00:45:44.590 --> 00:45:47.610
gosh. Pol Pot. It could be, like, Dom Pot. All

00:45:47.610 --> 00:45:51.489
these world leaders need more. These are bad

00:45:51.489 --> 00:45:54.469
world leaders. It's fine. We can talk about it

00:45:54.469 --> 00:45:58.650
this way. I mean, we've already got Mao Zedong.

00:45:58.730 --> 00:46:00.750
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Z's already there. The

00:46:00.750 --> 00:46:04.110
Z's there. How do you get zombie in? Zedong.

00:46:05.110 --> 00:46:09.210
Zedbong? Yeah, I don't know. Kim Jong Zombie?

00:46:09.710 --> 00:46:17.539
Kim Jong Zombie? Oh my god. This is... They found

00:46:17.539 --> 00:46:20.119
the easy one and we're stuck with the rest. I'm

00:46:20.119 --> 00:46:22.639
stuck on Stalin over here, guys. I'm just trying

00:46:22.639 --> 00:46:26.659
to workshop Stalin. You can do that other option

00:46:26.659 --> 00:46:32.380
for... You can do Stalin or Trotsky. Trotsky,

00:46:32.440 --> 00:46:36.639
yeah. Zotsky? No. You know, have I told you about

00:46:36.639 --> 00:46:39.320
Pop Trots? I don't think we're giving the screenwriters

00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:42.059
for this film enough credit here. They found

00:46:42.059 --> 00:46:45.219
their title. You know what we need? Vampire Boys

00:46:45.219 --> 00:46:49.460
V. They already had the shirtless guy. When it

00:46:49.460 --> 00:46:51.920
had the shirtless guy, I was just like, wait,

00:46:51.960 --> 00:46:54.860
what movie did it walk into? I'm kind of into

00:46:54.860 --> 00:46:56.699
that. They're just like, you know what? We know

00:46:56.699 --> 00:46:59.260
exactly why this guy is here. And we are going

00:46:59.260 --> 00:47:02.739
to utilize that. I applaud the writers on finding

00:47:02.739 --> 00:47:05.659
ways to get his shirt off. Because there was

00:47:05.659 --> 00:47:07.760
another point where he and DC, it wasn't important

00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:09.340
to the story, but they just kind of were like

00:47:09.340 --> 00:47:11.539
sparring against each other. So they both were

00:47:11.539 --> 00:47:15.800
shirtless. That makes sense in a weird way. But

00:47:15.800 --> 00:47:17.900
they were just like playful sparring with each

00:47:17.900 --> 00:47:21.019
other. That's why I'm saying there was a bromance.

00:47:21.300 --> 00:47:24.559
That was total bromance. Like Iceman and Maverick.

00:47:24.730 --> 00:47:28.349
Yes. Iceman and Maverick. When is Maverick coming

00:47:28.349 --> 00:47:31.590
out? Next year. They push it back to next May,

00:47:31.670 --> 00:47:33.949
I believe. It's going to find the no time to

00:47:33.949 --> 00:47:36.670
die thing where they can't push it back anymore

00:47:36.670 --> 00:47:39.550
without making money. I'm sure they want to try

00:47:39.550 --> 00:47:41.750
and capitalize on right before the 4th of July.

00:47:42.130 --> 00:47:47.869
Right. It was a weird month for it. It's a summer

00:47:47.869 --> 00:47:51.610
movie through and through. Isn't it part... Maybe

00:47:51.610 --> 00:47:53.289
I'm wrong, but there's a part of it that's part

00:47:53.289 --> 00:47:56.050
of Veterans Day, which is in November. Oh, okay.

00:47:56.309 --> 00:47:58.710
Maybe that was your angle. Yeah, I could be wrong

00:47:58.710 --> 00:48:00.429
about that, but I thought that was part of it.

00:48:01.349 --> 00:48:03.929
Anyway. But yeah, oh, zombie. What's your rating,

00:48:03.989 --> 00:48:09.610
dude? Yeah. So. Okay. We talked a lot about this

00:48:09.610 --> 00:48:12.610
movie. When talking about plot, it is a dumb

00:48:12.610 --> 00:48:16.010
plot. Oh, is it? But is it a fun dumb plot? When

00:48:16.010 --> 00:48:19.170
we're talking about fun, it is fun. Like, it

00:48:19.170 --> 00:48:23.380
is very much fun. So I'm going to give it 1 .25.

00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:28.139
Samurai Swords. Not too far behind Venom 2. Yeah,

00:48:28.139 --> 00:48:31.000
right, exactly. It's a toss -up. You either watch

00:48:31.000 --> 00:48:34.539
Osami or Venom 2. This movie knew exactly what

00:48:34.539 --> 00:48:38.719
it was trying to be. And, though yes, it is offensive,

00:48:39.059 --> 00:48:46.429
it does try its best not to be. How? Okay, yeah.

00:48:47.409 --> 00:48:52.150
How do you make a movie about zombie Taliban

00:48:52.150 --> 00:48:55.429
and be like, guys, it's okay. It's not okay.

00:48:55.690 --> 00:48:59.489
No, no, no. Nobody said it was. No, we're not

00:48:59.489 --> 00:49:02.250
saying that it's okay. It could have gone a lot

00:49:02.250 --> 00:49:05.650
worse. Okay, got it. They could have gone Team

00:49:05.650 --> 00:49:08.849
America, Durka, Durka, Allah. Yeah, you know,

00:49:08.849 --> 00:49:13.530
like, it is actual, they went and learned. Arabic.

00:49:14.030 --> 00:49:17.250
Farsi, too. Farsi. They went and learned the

00:49:17.250 --> 00:49:19.989
language. And I don't, I'm not a pro at this,

00:49:20.110 --> 00:49:24.369
but I'm guessing they're not saying derka derka

00:49:24.369 --> 00:49:28.110
a la, you know, like. Yeah, yeah. They didn't

00:49:28.110 --> 00:49:30.929
go, yeah, got it. Yeah. I actually think it's

00:49:30.929 --> 00:49:33.670
real words that they were actually saying. I

00:49:33.670 --> 00:49:37.590
don't feel like it was. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Again,

00:49:37.710 --> 00:49:40.650
I'm not saying it's okay. No, I'm not pissed.

00:49:40.750 --> 00:49:44.429
I'm just like. dubious shirt. I don't know. Okay,

00:49:44.449 --> 00:49:47.269
cool. I'm saying they could have gone a lot worse.

00:49:47.449 --> 00:49:50.630
That's what I'm saying. It's not at a good level.

00:49:50.789 --> 00:49:55.010
I'm not saying it's on the good scale. On worst

00:49:55.010 --> 00:49:59.449
to bad, they're here. Which is almost middle.

00:49:59.650 --> 00:50:01.730
Fair enough, fair enough. For the people that

00:50:01.730 --> 00:50:03.989
can't read the scale while I'm talking to them

00:50:03.989 --> 00:50:07.869
because it's an audio podcast. Right. So would

00:50:07.869 --> 00:50:10.170
you, if there was a sequel, would you watch it?

00:50:12.330 --> 00:50:18.449
Maybe. Maybe. It does fall into B -movie category.

00:50:18.989 --> 00:50:23.190
Sounds a lot lower than a B -movie. A lot of

00:50:23.190 --> 00:50:27.650
the tropes for a B -movie are there. A Z -movie.

00:50:28.369 --> 00:50:35.489
That's cute. I get that it was good. So how would

00:50:35.489 --> 00:50:37.869
people watch this movie if not being on an airplane?

00:50:38.409 --> 00:50:40.750
Which, by the way, still is pretty unsettling

00:50:40.750 --> 00:50:43.349
to me. Well, you can watch it for free on IMDb

00:50:43.349 --> 00:50:45.889
TV. Oh, there you go. Wow, that's a good gift

00:50:45.889 --> 00:50:48.949
for my IMDb TV. It's very good for them. They

00:50:48.949 --> 00:50:51.309
spent a lot of money on IMDb. You know what?

00:50:51.409 --> 00:50:53.150
It's this crown jewel. You know what? It's that

00:50:53.150 --> 00:50:58.420
money that put William Shatner on the moon. Sorry,

00:50:58.460 --> 00:51:03.260
in space. Apple TV has Ted Lasso. IMDb has Osambi.

00:51:03.659 --> 00:51:06.280
Do you know how many times I've practiced saying

00:51:06.280 --> 00:51:10.000
Osambi? Just looking in the mirror. Literally,

00:51:10.119 --> 00:51:12.340
the poster, they flip the S so it looks like

00:51:12.340 --> 00:51:15.780
a Z. Well, that's clever. It makes it impossible

00:51:15.780 --> 00:51:17.539
to look for because I thought I was looking for

00:51:17.539 --> 00:51:24.199
Osambi. Versus Osambi. That is hilarious. Yeah,

00:51:24.260 --> 00:51:27.760
so. A zombie Fantastic Four stick. Oh, that's

00:51:27.760 --> 00:51:31.400
it. Fan Four stick. God. Marvel's coming out

00:51:31.400 --> 00:51:33.239
with one. That'll be fun. They are, yeah. Did

00:51:33.239 --> 00:51:35.659
they even cast people yet? No. Not publicly.

00:51:35.739 --> 00:51:38.000
Oh, they not have announced. They've never announced.

00:51:38.320 --> 00:51:41.699
Maybe secretly out there, but Tom Holland's not

00:51:41.699 --> 00:51:45.119
saying, so we don't know. Yeah, if we can't find

00:51:45.119 --> 00:51:46.039
Tom Holland, how are we going to find out? We

00:51:46.039 --> 00:51:50.960
can't catch Tom. Mark Ruffalo? Ruffalo? Ruffalo.

00:51:51.400 --> 00:51:53.920
I thought it was Ruffalo. Mark Ruffalo. Mark

00:51:53.920 --> 00:51:55.940
Ruffalo. I thought it was Ruffalo. We should

00:51:55.940 --> 00:51:58.099
spell it out phonetically. Can we put it out

00:51:58.099 --> 00:52:00.679
to a poll? Mark, I know you're active on Twitter.

00:52:01.099 --> 00:52:04.760
Is it Ruffalo or Ruffalo? Ruffalo. Love Mitchell.

00:52:04.980 --> 00:52:08.940
Is it Connor Canes? I don't know. We know that

00:52:08.940 --> 00:52:13.900
one. Dear nation of France. I think this would

00:52:13.900 --> 00:52:16.559
be a good Twitter. Mark Ruffalo. Oh, Ruffalo.

00:52:16.719 --> 00:52:20.400
Hey! I just watched Zodiac, which he is in by

00:52:20.400 --> 00:52:22.820
the way. Oh, such a good movie. Talk about a

00:52:22.820 --> 00:52:24.900
spooky movie. It is a spooky movie. I recently

00:52:24.900 --> 00:52:27.619
watched 27 Dresses. No, not 27 Dresses. Sorry,

00:52:27.639 --> 00:52:31.280
sorry. That's spooky. That's a spooky movie.

00:52:31.480 --> 00:52:34.179
Spooky movie. Oh, no, just he's in it. All right.

00:52:34.320 --> 00:52:36.380
Okay, all right. I didn't follow the correlation

00:52:36.380 --> 00:52:38.159
there. Yeah, I say I've watched them back -to

00:52:38.159 --> 00:52:40.579
-back, roughly, because I love a rom -com. Ruffalo.

00:52:41.219 --> 00:52:47.829
Ruffalo. I'm kind of shocked at how just... Mark

00:52:47.829 --> 00:52:50.949
Ruffalo, he is in that movie. Andy Serkis is

00:52:50.949 --> 00:52:52.829
in it, too. Yeah, he is. That was the biggest

00:52:52.829 --> 00:52:55.090
surprise twist of all time. Yeah, Gollum's running

00:52:55.090 --> 00:52:59.170
out. Yeah, the fact that Jennifer Garner's working

00:52:59.170 --> 00:53:01.130
for Gollum's kind of weird. But what about Josh

00:53:01.130 --> 00:53:03.869
from Blue's Clues? Oh, my goodness. Is Josh from

00:53:03.869 --> 00:53:05.869
Blue's Clues in that movie? No. Oh, that was

00:53:05.869 --> 00:53:08.489
just like, wait. I'm referencing our last episode.

00:53:08.849 --> 00:53:11.750
That's how I find him quite quickly. He's a good

00:53:11.750 --> 00:53:15.110
-looking dude. Thank you. Which will get it.

00:53:15.289 --> 00:53:17.539
Yes, I do. To my children. If I have offspring

00:53:17.539 --> 00:53:19.019
and they're going to watch, like, TV and someone's

00:53:19.019 --> 00:53:21.400
going to talk at them, it better be a good -looking

00:53:21.400 --> 00:53:23.760
person versus, like, a cartoon character with

00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:24.860
no hair and eyebrows. So there's only been three

00:53:24.860 --> 00:53:28.019
hosts? Yes. Is hosts the right term for goosebumps?

00:53:28.219 --> 00:53:32.179
Yeah. So it's Steve, Josh, Joe, and Josh. Joe's

00:53:32.179 --> 00:53:34.360
the middle one. Joe's the middle one. Yes. Joe

00:53:34.360 --> 00:53:37.159
sucks. Joe doesn't suck? What the fuck? Joe sucks.

00:53:37.380 --> 00:53:39.500
What? Joe sucks. He's got red hair. He's not

00:53:39.500 --> 00:53:41.440
Steve. Yeah, he's not Steve. And Steve doesn't

00:53:41.440 --> 00:53:44.159
have any hair. Doesn't matter. Not anymore. Not

00:53:44.159 --> 00:53:46.519
anymore. I think Joe did a great job stepping

00:53:46.519 --> 00:53:49.820
in after he had to go off to college. Nope. The

00:53:49.820 --> 00:53:53.320
only thing I think I learned from Joe was, was

00:53:53.320 --> 00:53:55.820
that when paprika happened? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

00:53:56.179 --> 00:53:58.739
Paprika. From salt and pepper? Yeah. Oh, that's

00:53:58.739 --> 00:54:02.179
when they boned? Yeah. And then they boned! Yes!

00:54:02.519 --> 00:54:04.579
Callback! They bumped some Birkenstocks and gave

00:54:04.579 --> 00:54:06.619
us paprika. Yeah, it is. You weren't here for

00:54:06.619 --> 00:54:09.440
He's All That, but I tried to make and then they

00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:11.909
boned a thing. No boning. There was no Bonnie.

00:54:11.989 --> 00:54:14.530
It was a very chaste movie. Chaste? Chaste. Chaste.

00:54:14.530 --> 00:54:18.909
Chaste. Cains? Cains? Cains? Cains? Would you

00:54:18.909 --> 00:54:20.909
rather have your kids watch, like, Blue's Clues,

00:54:20.909 --> 00:54:23.969
which has, like, a real human person talking

00:54:23.969 --> 00:54:26.849
at you, or Caillou with no hair and no eyebrows?

00:54:26.869 --> 00:54:28.389
Oh, fuck Caillou. Or Dora the Explorer? No, I

00:54:28.389 --> 00:54:31.809
would rather Robbie Rotten from LazyTown. Who's

00:54:31.809 --> 00:54:34.079
a real person? Yes. That's what I'm saying. I

00:54:34.079 --> 00:54:36.500
agree with you. Cartoon with no hair and eyebrows.

00:54:36.519 --> 00:54:38.340
I know. It's a bad newspaper. I miss Robbie Robbins.

00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:39.820
I'm going to go with the Filipino descent man

00:54:39.820 --> 00:54:44.280
in Josh for Blue's Purse because I feel like

00:54:44.280 --> 00:54:45.760
a little... He's a good looking lad. Okay. I

00:54:45.760 --> 00:54:48.420
see that. Yeah. I don't see a lot of Filipinos.

00:54:48.519 --> 00:54:51.260
We'll talk about childhood programming. He just

00:54:51.260 --> 00:54:53.300
found out that Lily Tomlin, who also appears

00:54:53.300 --> 00:54:56.079
in West Wing, was Miss Drizzle. Yes. Yeah. I

00:54:56.079 --> 00:54:57.760
didn't know that. Whoa, she was Miss Frizzle?

00:54:57.840 --> 00:54:59.159
Yeah, she was Miss Frizzle. I had no idea. I

00:54:59.159 --> 00:55:01.440
had no idea. This is a very loose tangent here.

00:55:01.440 --> 00:55:03.500
I had no idea. I felt the need to bring that

00:55:03.500 --> 00:55:05.780
back in. Dude, there's... Lily Tomlin is very

00:55:05.780 --> 00:55:08.619
accomplished. Yeah, lovely. But the Miss Frizzle

00:55:08.619 --> 00:55:10.400
aspect, I had no idea it was a thing. She is

00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:12.000
Miss Frizzle. Add it to the resume, man. Yeah.

00:55:12.429 --> 00:55:14.949
Look at her. I know there was a thing where Kate

00:55:14.949 --> 00:55:17.429
McKinnon was supposed to play a live action.

00:55:17.670 --> 00:55:21.389
Oh. I thought she voiced. She voiced her in the

00:55:21.389 --> 00:55:27.489
cartoon reboot. Is that still going on? For whatever

00:55:27.489 --> 00:55:29.050
reason, I thought that was going to be a live

00:55:29.050 --> 00:55:31.269
action project. Wouldn't it be interesting to

00:55:31.269 --> 00:55:36.099
see a live action Netflix? Who would play the

00:55:36.099 --> 00:55:39.400
redhead kid? Arnold? Yeah, Arnold. The wet blanket

00:55:39.400 --> 00:55:41.519
one. I knew I should have stayed home today.

00:55:41.780 --> 00:55:45.980
Me. Probably one of the Stranger Things kids,

00:55:46.139 --> 00:55:47.079
but they're getting too old now. What, like Finn

00:55:47.079 --> 00:55:49.099
Wolfhard? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, these kids

00:55:49.099 --> 00:55:51.860
are... Gatton. I feel like Gatton could be...

00:55:51.860 --> 00:55:56.280
Oh, yeah. So she's Miss Fiona Frizzle. Yep. And

00:55:56.280 --> 00:55:59.619
the magic school bus rides again, but this animation

00:55:59.619 --> 00:56:02.400
style has me losing my mind. Let me see. Let

00:56:02.400 --> 00:56:04.860
me try to find a picture because it was just

00:56:04.860 --> 00:56:07.119
the ad is going. It's gotta be CGI. It is not.

00:56:07.119 --> 00:56:09.739
Freaky deaky. It's something else. Is it anime?

00:56:10.079 --> 00:56:13.420
Ooh. Is it anime magic school busing? I don't

00:56:13.420 --> 00:56:18.679
know if I could, but. It looks like a flash cartoon.

00:56:19.179 --> 00:56:21.440
It's like, yeah. What is that? Laurel Einstein?

00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:24.179
Yeah, it's exactly, yeah, like Laurel Einstein.

00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:26.679
Barbie commercial. That's the frizz. Is that

00:56:26.679 --> 00:56:28.840
the frizz? That's the frizz. Her hair's not frizzy.

00:56:29.059 --> 00:56:33.860
That's the frizz. Boo! Boo this man! Well, I'm

00:56:33.860 --> 00:56:36.039
guessing that, oh, no, wait, what? Who is this?

00:56:36.039 --> 00:56:37.559
That's like if Miss Frizz had to take a corporate

00:56:37.559 --> 00:56:39.500
job. Wait, hold up. Hold up. Is that Phoebe?

00:56:40.119 --> 00:56:43.139
Hold up. What is happening? Is that Miss Frizzle?

00:56:43.139 --> 00:56:44.900
I think that's what Jill was saying. Is that

00:56:44.900 --> 00:56:48.219
Kate McKinnon is like a descendant? So like there's

00:56:48.219 --> 00:56:51.300
Fiona Frizzle is Kate McKinnon's character. So

00:56:51.300 --> 00:56:55.780
that's the OG. Professor Frizzle is Lily Tomlin.

00:56:56.019 --> 00:56:59.719
So they got no OG. So the real Miss Frizzle has

00:56:59.719 --> 00:57:02.840
stood up. Yes. Got it. I feel a little better

00:57:02.840 --> 00:57:09.380
about that. Still fucked up. Yeah. Should be

00:57:09.380 --> 00:57:11.320
frizzy. Should be frizzy. Part of it. That's

00:57:11.320 --> 00:57:14.280
in the name. It's the frizz. That's it. Yeah.

00:57:15.860 --> 00:57:20.659
Okay. Why did we go back down this road? How

00:57:20.659 --> 00:57:23.260
did we get from Osambi to Ms. Fritzl? We're in

00:57:23.260 --> 00:57:24.980
a childhood program. We're in a magical adventure,

00:57:25.179 --> 00:57:27.400
man. I know, but how did we get there? You know

00:57:27.400 --> 00:57:30.079
Arthur finally is like what finished up. Yeah,

00:57:30.079 --> 00:57:33.699
finally. Finally. Yeah. Nope, finally. What do

00:57:33.699 --> 00:57:35.460
you mean finally? Finally. What the fuck? The

00:57:35.460 --> 00:57:37.559
only good thing that came out of Arthur was the

00:57:37.559 --> 00:57:40.980
library card song. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about

00:57:40.980 --> 00:57:43.119
the Ballad of Buster Baxter? Nope, fuck that.

00:57:43.119 --> 00:57:45.420
What about the Arthur Angry Fist meme? Nope,

00:57:45.420 --> 00:57:50.500
fuck that. That's pretty good. No, you like that

00:57:50.500 --> 00:57:53.539
because it involves LeBron. Does it? Because

00:57:53.539 --> 00:57:57.500
the way it got famous was when LeBron was mad

00:57:57.500 --> 00:58:00.219
at, what's his name, the other thing, and then

00:58:00.219 --> 00:58:03.820
they held the Arthur fist after. The J .R. Smith

00:58:03.820 --> 00:58:06.920
thing? No, no, no. That was not the J .R. Smith

00:58:06.920 --> 00:58:09.400
thing. No, no. That was during the regular season,

00:58:09.619 --> 00:58:11.760
man, that year. It was not in the playoffs. Okay,

00:58:11.800 --> 00:58:14.059
but it was LeBron related. Yeah, but it was already

00:58:14.059 --> 00:58:16.860
a meme before that. DW has some great memes as

00:58:16.860 --> 00:58:19.219
well. Yes, DW has some great memes, yeah. where

00:58:19.219 --> 00:58:21.119
she's like looking through the fence yes I do

00:58:21.119 --> 00:58:24.079
like the one meme where she's that may stop me

00:58:24.079 --> 00:58:27.739
but I can't read that's it yeah that's a good

00:58:27.739 --> 00:58:30.019
one that's a good one that's a nice you know

00:58:30.019 --> 00:58:33.860
I was not an Arthur fan no yeah I liked it what's

00:58:33.860 --> 00:58:36.360
wrong with me what's wrong with you fuck you

00:58:36.360 --> 00:58:41.320
it has a Jewish character in the form of Francine,

00:58:41.480 --> 00:58:43.800
which is great. That's true. What was the thing

00:58:43.800 --> 00:58:47.980
they made? One of the celebrities on the show.

00:58:48.079 --> 00:58:50.719
They had many. They looked awful, though, because

00:58:50.719 --> 00:58:52.519
they made them like an aardvark. Oh, they made

00:58:52.519 --> 00:58:54.239
them like an animal, right? Was it Mr. Rogers?

00:58:54.460 --> 00:58:56.440
Was it Michelle Kwan? No, I'm looking it up.

00:58:56.500 --> 00:58:59.679
They had Yo -Yo Ma. Yo -Yo Ma showed up. Art

00:58:59.679 --> 00:59:03.300
Garfunkel was a moose. Oh, really? He sings the

00:59:03.300 --> 00:59:07.119
ballad of Buster Baxter. I'm looking it up, guys.

00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:10.360
Oh, they did make the... Who's this? The Backstreet

00:59:10.360 --> 00:59:15.340
Boys? Oh, hell yeah. It also looks like the P

00:59:15.340 --> 00:59:18.219
.R .I. guys. It does kind of, but that's... Mr.

00:59:18.940 --> 00:59:21.559
Rogers looked okay. Yeah. Mr. Rogers could get

00:59:21.559 --> 00:59:24.519
away with it. PBS legend. Yeah, yeah. But this

00:59:24.519 --> 00:59:29.119
is it. I believe that's Matt Damon. what oh my

00:59:29.119 --> 00:59:34.539
god yes my whole thing is why do you have an

00:59:34.539 --> 00:59:36.760
axe to grind with arthur because at the end of

00:59:36.760 --> 00:59:38.679
the day it's children's programming i don't have

00:59:38.679 --> 00:59:40.980
an axe to grind i'm just saying that i don't

00:59:40.980 --> 00:59:44.519
i didn't like arthur yeah jane lynch made a special

00:59:44.519 --> 00:59:47.900
appearance as a rat person oh that's mr ratburn's

00:59:47.900 --> 00:59:50.079
mom probably probably you know mr rockburn got

00:59:50.079 --> 00:59:53.969
married Dude. He's gay. Yeah. That was like a

00:59:53.969 --> 00:59:57.070
later headline, right? Yeah. Kelly's sister works

00:59:57.070 --> 01:00:01.090
at the PBS affiliate in Boston. Ooh, that's cool.

01:00:01.309 --> 01:00:05.510
Yeah, so she got a lot of angry calls from very

01:00:05.510 --> 01:00:08.989
old people. Who is that? Neil Gaiman. Neil Gaiman.

01:00:09.130 --> 01:00:12.150
Wow. I feel like we should do a fun game of we

01:00:12.150 --> 01:00:14.190
find screenshots of famous celebrities who appeared

01:00:14.190 --> 01:00:16.989
in Arthur. And you have to guess who it is. I'm

01:00:16.989 --> 01:00:19.250
in. Did Keanu Reeves pop up in Arthur? You know

01:00:19.250 --> 01:00:21.530
who else did? I don't need to show you a name.

01:00:21.530 --> 01:00:26.230
That's Lance Armstrong. Oh no. That's a tough

01:00:26.230 --> 01:00:30.849
one. We're going to play this game. Later we're

01:00:30.849 --> 01:00:34.550
going to have an episode of it. Alright, well,

01:00:34.690 --> 01:00:38.969
it's that time. To do what? Time to go away.

01:00:39.969 --> 01:00:43.190
It's time to go away. We'll be back next week.

01:00:43.800 --> 01:00:46.460
We've been rambling about non -Osambi stuff for

01:00:46.460 --> 01:00:50.119
like 20 minutes. Osambi 1 .25. All right. 10

01:00:50.119 --> 01:00:56.619
out of 10. Arthur, zero. Oh, wow. Wow. I do not.

01:00:56.619 --> 01:00:58.659
I don't have an axe to grind with Arthur. I just

01:00:58.659 --> 01:01:01.420
didn't like it, okay? Arthur at a baseline is

01:01:01.420 --> 01:01:04.539
not as problematic as Osambi. Like, are you kidding

01:01:04.539 --> 01:01:09.260
me? Like, what? I had a five last episode that

01:01:09.260 --> 01:01:13.730
we did. Wait, so my five is Pig, my zero is Arthur.

01:01:13.909 --> 01:01:16.869
What is happening? That's pretty rough. That's

01:01:16.869 --> 01:01:19.809
a scale, man. If Nick Cage was an Arthur... Yeah,

01:01:19.809 --> 01:01:21.469
right. What if we could find Nick Cage showing

01:01:21.469 --> 01:01:25.789
up in three? Automatically. So that scientifically

01:01:25.789 --> 01:01:27.889
proves that Nick Cage appearing in a film means

01:01:27.889 --> 01:01:30.150
it's a minimum of three. Yes. Alright, great.

01:01:30.599 --> 01:01:32.639
I think Nick Cage might be my favorite actor

01:01:32.639 --> 01:01:34.900
on earth right now. Wow. Really? Yep. I heard

01:01:34.900 --> 01:01:36.659
it was a great movie for your recommendation.

01:01:37.139 --> 01:01:39.659
Pig's amazing. Yep. Yes. All right. We, you can

01:01:39.659 --> 01:01:41.820
go back to that episode, but we got to wrap it

01:01:41.820 --> 01:01:45.519
up. This is game for a movie where we ask, are

01:01:45.519 --> 01:01:47.699
you game for a movie? I have been Mike. Audrey.

01:01:47.940 --> 01:01:50.860
Jill. Mitchell. We'll see you next time on game

01:01:50.860 --> 01:01:53.780
for a movie. Arthur sucks.