My name is Mike I will be your host I am joined
by Andre and Jill We have a new format if you
like it Tell us if not also tell us because we
are playing around with it It may not stick around
it made stick around But we just want to get
your feedback because at the end of the day what
we want to give you is content. That's what we
want to give you. The highest quality content
we can. So let us know what you think of the
new format. Yeah. Think of it as us. We went
to the store. We got a pair of crazy sunglasses.
We're trying them out for a little bit. We're
not committed, but we're open to suggestions.
So if we don't look good in these sunglasses,
let us know. Exactly. Yes. We don't care that
we have food in our teeth. You can tell us. So,
Jill, you got to pick the game. Oh my god. To
be fair, it was kind of like, all right, what
options do we have? We're not together. We got
to make it work. So we went on good old -fashioned
Jackbox. Yes, Jackbox for those who don't know.
They are very fun. Party games. Party games,
yes. The whole entire idea is that you play,
like, you can play with your phone, right? It's
like a game show that you have either with friends
over or you go on a Zoom call, and it's like
a little game show, you type in answers from
your phone. You know, like a Zoom call where
I'm at work trying to work. It's all the fun
parts of Mario Party without actually playing
the game part. Without actually playing the bullshit
part. That was the funny part about it, is I
couldn't even talk on the Zoom call about this,
and at points I was busy so I couldn't even,
like, answer. Do this stuff. Well, here's the
rub, right? Yeah, is that really? I mean whenever
Jill and I play a game really I mean like yes,
I have an out where if Jill loses Yes, I have
the option to not watch the bad movie, but you
don't have to work One of my good friends from
grad school was more than willing to watch this
with me I know online I just so so here's where
I'm at the left. I sat out speed to so I did
Willem Dafoe bullet and I like spending time
with my lovely lady and I figured you know what?
I was able to get very drunk while watching this
movie and that helped a lot and because it was
it's legal in our state I was very high Straight
up. Um, I gotta give a shout out before we start
the movie. I put out our hints And our first,
and only guess actually, we had a bunch of people
guess. What was your hint? So I put Napoleon
Dynamite, which was high school, was the idea.
I had one of Steven Yeun getting like makeover
done to him. Oh, OK. It's a great gift of that.
Yeah. Because there's a makeover scene, I'm guessing.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it happened. Yeah, it happened.
I haven't seen the movie, but I was just guessing.
Yeah. No, no, no. You're on the mark. You're
on the mark. If you put plot points on a dart
board and you were then to throw darts, you probably
could connect the plot points. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can literally like, all right, Mike, like
story map the whole entire plot of this movie
out. You could probably get there. Now you use
high school. Especially because because I've
seen the inspiration for it. Yes, right. We haven't
seen the title yet. So I know people are reading
this on the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's episode
title, right? The third one I finally put Addison
Rae because I tried to make the third one easy.
Yes, yes. Thank you for not making that the first
one. Yeah, no, the third one's always the easiest.
The first one I try to go way obscure. Yeah.
So shout out to George Fda the second. He got
it, right? He has a YouTube channel called the
hesitant lion He covers media mostly anime and
his next video is about the Netflix film words
bubble Okay, words bubble up like soda pop. So
that comes out soon big shout out to George great
guess He got it on our second hint. Okay. So
yeah We appreciate you guessing around we watch
the film Which is not as I accidentally kept
calling it to my friends he's the man This is
a this is a is it an unofficial or official sequel
it's a remake it's a remix a remake of She's
all that which I have never late 90s. Oh watch
that movie is Well, all right. So now it might
be problem Well, it's just the class is a quintessential
like it's it's pretty good But also like in a
way this movie was very faithful insofar as in
she's all that The the whole entire thing is
that the guy the popular guy takes the bet that
he likes junior Yeah, Frank Prince junior like
takes the bet to be like fine. I'll make this
ugly lady like the loser girl Rachel Lee cook
right still looks good even though she's in this
movie and she's still fucking hot yes that's
the thing is that like oh man there's two characters
from the first one that are in the second one
that explains Matthew Lillard Matthew Lillard
yes Matthew Lillard yes i looked it up last night
and also because we need to shout it out in the
first one it also has Anna Paquin Kieran uh Kieran
Culkin and Paul Walker Wait, Paul Walker is in
She's All Bad? Yep. Wow. Before he went to Florida.
Oh, the campus DJ, I forgot about this, is Usher!
Of all people in the first one! You know, that's
great for the first one. I love a rom -com. I
hate high school rom -coms. I find them very
hard to... As someone who did not like my high
school experience, watching films that kind of
reinforce everything that was wrong about high
school is really rough for me. This is not a
high school... Well, no. You're saying this is
a 28 -year -old. You can look at this and be
like, this is stupid. And you know what? Whoever
wrote this film, which is the same person who
wrote and directed Perks of Being a Wallflower,
it was like, this is not the high school that
they displayed in this movie is not a modern,
accurate retelling of what high school actually
is now. No, it is a 2021 filter on mid early
2000s high school stereotypes. Yes. Well, so
the whole entire high school is like. like the
high school feels like a college prep school
in cat like socal it's it's it's it's a high
school but like all the brats oh yeah so a lot
of brats yeah right like a lot of like trust
fund brats go to this school all right that too
but that i bet brats the movie yes yes yes it's
a prep school yeah yeah i guess should i just
get into it let's get into it come on as we said
this is a remake of a late 90s film called she's
all that we're in the premise Rich, er, probably
rich. Uh, very popular jock, got to bet. I'm
guessing. I've not seen it. It makes a bet to
turn the quote -unquote ugliest girl, uncool
loser at school. Translated very hot girl but
happens to have her hair up with glasses on.
Uncool female and turn her into prom queen. And
then shenanigans and feral. Yes, that is the
first one. Oh my god, they end up falling for
each other. But she finds out she was part of
a bet. And then there's a whole second act turn.
So if you're listening to this and thinking,
Okay that sounds interesting, I'm curious to
see how they adapted that to 2021 standards.
They didn't, they literally did that. They just
swapped the genders. So the movie starts off
by introducing a stormage character named Paget,
except I, being stoned, is fucked. That's what
I put in my notes. I saw, okay so I was looking
over and I kept seeing Pidgey. Yeah yeah yeah,
Pidgey, Pidgey the Pokemon. She's not Paget,
she's Pidgey. And throughout this movie - So
she's played by Addison Rae. Famous tik -toker,
right? Dancer Trump dancer possible supporter.
I don't know. She shook his hand She literally
walked up to him is like, I'm so excited to meet
you. Anyways, I don't know from the fame of this
is your top four movies on her filmography The
as in Ray first movie. Yeah, no, this is her
third movie. Oh Wow Well, this is what I'm saying
there's four movies one of them it seems like
a music video Addison Rae music video. She's
all that Yep, the hype life, which I've never
heard of it doesn't even have an image and spy
cat from 2018 not to be confused my kids Okay,
we did Robert Rodriguez direct spy cat It doesn't
look like it. It's also too good because it feels
like it should have been alright thing Anyways
famous tiktoker lady is our leading lady Paget
Sawyer who I'm gonna refer to as Pidgey for the
rest of this game this description the movie
The movie opens with her, Padgett, waking up,
getting out of bed, putting on a full face of
makeup, then climbing back into bed, grabbing
her phone, and streaming to the whole world,
or all 800 plus thousand followers that she has.
Good morning, this is my getting ready routine.
So off the bat we know she is an online influencer,
just like IRL, and as she's sitting at her inside
her very pink dream cloud bedroom, which Made
me nauseated because I fucking hate the color
pink she spouts off in rapid fire succession
a number of products Some of them are real some
of them are not and at the time irony knew That
there was a lot of product placement in this
movie I jokingly said to andre drinking game
every time they hawk a product take a drink.
No there is So many products just the way you
guys are describing it. No, that's a bad note
to myself is so much product dropping and makeup
It's so girly. I'm dying. My god, man But if
it's not just makeup products, which makes a
little bit more diegetic sense, yeah, you're
right. We'll get there It's not just makeup.
No, no, no, this is a equal equal opportunity
product. Yeah movie. Um, so She puts on her face
and makeup. She's you know, talking to her followers.
Everyone's like I love you likes fire Exactly,
exactly. So, you know, it's like this super pain
girly room that looks pretty nice. She gets a
call from a Kardashian, right? Not yet, that
comes later. Oh, you're right, sorry. Um, we
know... Jump ahead. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Jesus.
Spoilers. I want to know this movie. She gets
ready for her day of school and she walks out
of her bedroom and suddenly the music cuts out
and it's not as nice of a house as you think
it is. Turns out... Paget or Pidgey Pidgey Pidgey
here lives a pretty middle -class life. She's
not the house is not a dump. It's It's not the
it doesn't fit the image that she's projecting
our mind, right? Which might be a theme for later.
You're not always what you see. Yeah, right Um,
and in the kitchen is her mom played played by
Rachel Lee cook It was who was the the she's
all the she from she's all that the original
mom here Not the same character. I was just gonna
say, so neither played the same character. No.
I know. Wait, what? I'm saying. Okay. Yes. Not
playing the same character. There's no connection
to the first one. I thought she was, but no.
So they're talking. Her mom's like, oh, I don't
like congratulations. You're making money doing
whatever you do. I don't really know what you
do, but I kind of do. It's like, I don't think
you do, Mom. Mom's a nurse. You know, she's not
around. She's a nurse. I think she works many
late shifts, so she's not really around. So Pidgey
is really kind of taking, she's seizing opportunity.
You know, I'll give Pidgey this. She's seizing
opportunity by the horns and she's making her
own income to work her way up to going off to
college. She wants to get out. She wants to better
her life. Good for her. Can't hate that message.
No. So she grabs a dessert. Get that bag, girl.
She grabs a dessert because it's her boyfriend's
birthday and his name is Jordan. Yes, Jordan.
Well, she made him... a croquembouche croquembouche
with almond with almond almond flour filling
right i know it's just almond flour no almond
made from almond flour because he's he's um he's
got an almond i don't know he's got flour sensitivity
he might be celiac for all we know no it was
almond milk filling because he's he's dairy free
now he's dairy free now yeah he wasn't before
but he is now yeah so who is this this jordan
i don't know yet but i have a note hmm haven't
seen him yet and i'm ready to punch him yeah
which is Fair because the minute the scene switches
is him doing a little mock video shirtless Yeah,
and probably the most distracting side of this
is that that is not maybe a 21 22 year old No,
that's a 27 27 at least and my next note is where's
dear Evan Hansen guy? Yeah He's literally in
his own like music video where he just says his
own name Jordan something other yeah, Jordan
D. La Mar whatever Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah.
It's kind of catchy. So he was on Girl Meets
World. Wait, are you talking about Tanner? No,
I'm talking about Peyton Meyer who plays Jordan.
All the names of the characters are in the models.
Jordan Von Dronen. Jordan Von Dronen. Nah nah
nah nah nah nah nah. So damn catchy. He's supposed
to be like, not Bieber, but... That's doing Bieber
too dirty. He's like a Chris Rock -Bieber hybrid.
I guess. No, Chris. That's doing both of them
very nasty. Not cool. I don't know what he's
supposed to be. He's supposed to be Logan Paul,
basically. He's like a Logan Paul guy. He's obviously
not in 16, 17. Alright, let's say Pat Pidgey
is a senior. She's a senior in high school, so
she's probably 17 to 18. Let's say 17 for the
sake of this. He's obviously not even looking
like he's close to those ages. No, he's in his
teens. But you know what? He would have been
a more convincing Dear Evan. and then Ben Platt.
Yeah. Maybe he can't, like he can't sing great.
I will say off the top, he's the best part of
this movie. At this point. Yeah, he's the best
actor. That's for sure. Are you kidding me? Yeah,
he definitely is in the better. He's so terrible.
Of the no -name actors, he is the best of the
no -names. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So we get to meet
him. All you need to know is that he is a shirtless
tan blonde, bimbo, himbo. Himbo. No, no, no,
no, no, no. Himbo implies that like there's some
positive dumb energy to him. There's nothing
positive about this guy. He's toxic masculinity
to the max. He's there to be punched. Yes, he's
a punchable, he's a punching bag. He's a punchable
character. So Pidgey has... prepared almond flour
cocomboosh for him for his birthday so she goes
to his trailer because i guess when you go to
high school you can have your own trailer parked
in the parking lot right and she gives her phone
to her friend anniston no that's no that's someone
else she gives her friend Alden. Alden, yes.
Which is a shame because I have a friend named
Alden and he's fantastic and his name does not
need to be done dirty like this. Yes, correct.
So she gives her phone over to Alden. She kind
of maps up the plan that they're going to tweet,
that they're going to TikTok, live stream. Her
giving him this croquembouche dessert. And as
you would imagine, only 10 minutes into this
film, well it's a 90s film so something's got
to happen. So she goes in and she's like huh.
Why is the music so loud? And this is, I guess,
the best time to say that Addison Rae, maybe
you're a great dancer. I'm sorry, you need more
acting classes. But yes, Mike is gesticulating
some sexual activity. Yes, that is exactly. And
yes - Remember, he doesn't look like an 18 -year
-old, so it's like he's a pedophile. Let's just
start that off the bat. Yeah. Well, okay. That's
not fair. His character - It's so distracting.
All these characters are supposed to be in high
school. He's in high school. Like, his character
is supposed to be in high school. I don't care.
League of the consents 18 17. I would say she
had Pidgey is likely 17 not 18. Okay, you're
right. Okay. Yes. Yes Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay
Fair enough. So she goes into the day and oh
my god, he's got a girl in a bikini named Anderson.
It's a family name and I guess, you know, like
I said, Addison Ryan, maybe you're a great dancer
or whatnot, but your acting needs a little more
work. But to your credit, you didn't have a great
script to work with. And because this is a short
film, we got to keep this going at a swift pace.
So there is no, oh my God, what's going on. It's
just walk in, see boyfriend cheating on her.
Immediate breakdown. There is no there's no plateau
there. It's like, oh my God, you're such a douchebag.
So she has. Sorry, sorry, sorry. She calls. him
a croquant douche. He's a croquant douche. Croquant
douche. So they literally just made that dessert
just for that part. Yes, yes. They did it for
the dessert. Which I'm sure a character in this
film would say. Call it that. So this is all
being live streamed. She's a breakdown. it ends
badly now let's meet the he and he's all that
how do we know he's the he he's the only one
he's the only one wearing a hat i want i want
you to i kind of want mike to guess what the
he and he's all that what's what's the before
picture in the key version of he's all that so
i've seen you've seen the trailer no i've not
seen the trailer i've seen like a bit of like
an image he has like long hair he has a very
bad wig yeah yeah yeah yeah He's also the only
one who wears dark colors. Yes, he wears all
black. He has a beanie on. And purples. He's
like dressed like Santa. He's the only character
I've seen in dark purples. He's like the artsy
whatever like he has. He uses a real physical
film camera in contrast to Pidgey's smartphone
camera, right? Where she takes a bunch of pictures
all the time that are fake. He takes real pictures
on real film. And he takes real pictures of real
things. Like garbage. Yeah, like garbage, bro.
It's very deep if only weren't buried in our
smartphones, man Yeah, I like just that's a shout
-out to Mitchell right there. You know, like
that was that movie. He watched I forget it was
like Swiped it was swiped. Yeah, the auntie auntie
online dating one. Yeah, this gives me swiped
vibes a lot. That's fair They do everything they
can to be like he's a loser but it's self -inflicted
Right, but also this guy is very hot like already
like there's no like he's a hot guy, like, that's
it. I mean, like, I'm looking at the guy that
I have to be. The jig is up. It's like, this
guy would not be a loser in any real scenario.
And you know what? The fact that his bullshit
gets called out by his best friend is, like,
indicative, because she's like, dude, you're
kind of like... Buzzkill he's like, no, I'm not.
I'm just me and then there's the montage. He's
also fine in this movie. He's fine. He also just
does not have good script. Victim of his script,
yeah. Just look at him. Yeah, he's a Discount
Sprouse. Discount Sprouse is what? Yeah, exactly.
Discount Sprouse. I see it. So, you know, his
friend even calls him out on being like, you're
kind of annoyingly a Debbie Downer with your
realness. It's like, no, I'm not. And then there's
a montage of him getting food thrown at him,
him getting pushed into a locker, him getting
thrown into a trash can. They're trying to convince
us very hard that this guy gets beat up and is
a loser, which is just not convincing at all.
But you know, he's the dude. You know, it's self
-inflicted. It's like, you like this attention
secretly. So we meet the guy. Pidgey has her
breakdown on social media, so it cuts from the
next day. She's asleep. She's staying home. It's
embarrassing. Losing all of her followers. Losing
all of her followers. And her sponsorship. They're
not there yet. What? Okay fine. If anything I
think she should have more followers because
I would watch this straight out of a breakdown.
No man you see what happened was she was too
emotional and she got a snot bubble at the end
of the video. At the end of the breakdown at
the streaming. Because she was crying yeah yeah
yeah. So that so she has people laughing at her
so people are paying attention but it's the wrong
type of people. What was her nickname? Bubble
girl? Bubble girl. So she that happens so then
a Kardashian calls not being an actual Kardashian
but the owner. Kourtney Kardashian. Being the
owner or whoever in charge of this fictional
makeup line called Bunny Venom. Bunny Venom,
yes. Bunny Venom? Bunny Venom is the fictional
makeup company. And Courtney calls in from the
roof of somewhere on a peloton. Yep. And she's
like, yeah. Not a Peloton. Specifically a Peloton.
No, they made a point to show us. I've heard
those are uncomfortable at the seats. Yeah, you
know. They can workshop those a little bit. You
know what? I have a note in here that's like,
oh, she rides a Peloton. She has a Peloton too.
We're just like her. Because I love our Peloton.
I call it Pippin. I fucking hope there's an ad
for Peloton. She calls. Pidgey and she basically
is like, you know, you're getting the wrong type
of press We don't we want to pull our car. We
want to pull our sponsorship with you. I'm sorry,
but you got to turn this around So while she's
while Pidgey is down and out her mom comes in
with the anecdote to the blues lucky damn charms
and This is when the corporate sponsorship side
of all of this. Really such a real ugly head.
So she comes in with this tray of Lucky Charms.
There's an unopened thing of Lucky Charms, and
a bowl filled with Lucky Charms. You gotta have
the box. Yeah, you gotta have the box. You gotta
have the label on there, right? Yep. Pidgey's
like, no, I don't want to eat that. So the mom
starts eating it, and she says, Andre, why don't
you take it? She literally... It they're having
they're having oh my god this movie first of
all is phil was just Expositional cut like exp
cutscenes like this is a fucking video game.
It's phil with exposition like just very forced
exposition Like oh my god, you lost your sponsorship.
That's so bad. You're not gonna be able to make
it to college Wow, you're really up shit's creek
or whatever, you know, like wow, you're really
in trouble How are you gonna get your followers
back? And it's very forced but in the middle
of all that very forced dialogue The mom literally
takes a bite of the lucky charms to make sure
that make sure that the spoon is camera angle
and she's just well yeah she's like you want
and then she asks you she's like oh I forgot
there were marshmallows in here and who the fuck
eats Lucky Charms and doesn't remember that there's
marshmallows in there do you remember the Lucky
Charms the marshmallows that is like that is
like saying like you take a bite into the oral
like oh my god I forgot they have like a filling
in there oh my god this this Reese's cup has
peanut butter in it nobody told me that Wow,
there's so many colors on these M &M's! What
the fucking BULLSHIT FUCKING You know what? Lucky
Charms paid big bucks for that. Oh my god. So
that happens. I was so mad. Andre loses it, he's
staring, I'm making jokes about, you know, do
you remember The Marshmallow's Mr. Frodo? All
that fun stuff. But you know, we got a movie
to watch here, so let's keep going. So this happens,
she finds out she's now bubble girl, her sponsorship
get pulled, cuts to the next day at school, she's
sitting with her two gal pals, who earlier in
the film, to this character's credit, she acknowledges
that she's with two very vain vapid rich influencer
types and that she's taking she's taking advantage
of them as well as they're taking advantage of
her because of her popularity in this case it's
like oh they give me a ride to school every day
which is fun like you know yeah i'm like at least
she's at least this character is not stupid right
she's not thinking that we're besties yeah um
so you know her Her influencer ranking is kind
of down. So she's like, I need to pull myself
up from this. I need to fix this. I made Jordan
my ex. I can do this again and I can get my followers
back, which instigates capital T, capital B,
the bet. The bet, yes. But we don't know what
the bet is other than she's got to do it. She's
got to succeed or she's going to fail. And if
she fails, something's going to happen. So what
is the bet? she's gonna find the most loser is
loser boy do they never they never tell you what
the stakes are until the very end at the end
i thought i just missed at the beginning okay
got it i won't spoil it some obvious hints around
yeah yeah yeah yeah so to take the most losers
so really that's supposed to be a twist i didn't
know a three it is a twist um so she takes the
most losers loser boy and we'll make him prom
king because it's prom season right so they're
like okay but you can't pick the guy we're gonna
pick the guy because if you pick the guy it could
be biased and maybe you're giving yourself an
advantage so they kind of shop around guys and
they point out one person they're like nah not
him then they go into a science class and they're
like what about that guy Sebastian woo And they're
like, you know, there's a lot of work there.
And I don't know why, but they ultimately say
no. No, they say no because he literally... Oh,
I love Sebastian already. Just looking at him.
So he's the character, he's the nerd. Right,
right, right. So he's kind of like the chubbier
nerd guy. He's Ned. He's Ned. He's kind of Ned.
Yeah, think Ned. from home from spiderman homecoming
and but like they're like no not him because
apparently he sold an app to a big company his
game to it to an app company and he's gonna be
loaded already he's gonna be rich he's yeah sebastian's
taking care of sebastian i'm very excited to
see that sebastian has a lot of things on sebastian
stay here sebastian lights his arm on fire that's
it sebastian is a breath of fresh air and i'm
so sad he's not focused okay um so they're like
okay we'll find you a different guy cuts two
our dude Cameron taking an artsy -fartsy photo
of garbage. Yes. Like literally of garbage. He's
like, oh the students here waste so much food,
there's a whole orange in here. And then somebody
makes fun of him and he calls them fascists for
whatever reason. I say a pacifist who cares about
the fascists. Yes. Contradictory my friend. Contradictory.
Bruh. Fascist. Bruh. and they're like either
way he's a guy challenge accepted yeah because
he's also very hot still yeah i don't want to
be weird about it but like oh he's this guy this
guy this guy is a good looking dude like it's
just like god like once that's i mean that's
the argument of the first one rachel lee cook
is still really right and she's still attractive
in this movie too right yeah god damn why is
an exhausted nurse no matter how much you dork
her up she is still yeah yeah yeah so Pidgey
walks over introduces herself. He's kind of put
off by it She cannot read the room like anything
where he's like, I just want to get away from
this I write Pidgey's not a psychic type Pokemon.
No, she ain't So she's like, okay, I need a new
line of attack here. So she figures out he can
tackle Yeah, tackle. So she decides to go over,
find his track down, his sister Brynn, to get
some information. So we learned a couple things
about him. All of the things he like happen to
have the same starting letter, because he likes
Kung Fu, Kurosawa, and Kubrick. And then there
was another one with like F's. I can't remember
what that one was called. But you know, he doesn't
have a lot of interest outside of your classic
hipster bullshit. Well, right. He's basically
like an insufferable hipster, is that what they're
trying to write him as is like, oh, he doesn't
He doesn't watch any new movies. He watches old
black and white movies. And he's not going to
college. He's taking, you know, he's going to
take a gap year, then another gap year, then
a gap life. Yep. That's the line. Because they're
seniors. Yeah. Yeah. So we find out... So besides
him liking Kurosawa, Kung Fu, and Kubrick, he
likes horses. He's a horse girl. He's a horse
girl. He's a brony. He's a horse girl. He's absolutely
a brony. He's a horse girl. He'll never make.
He's a brony. He's 100 % a brony. Which one of
the fat five is he? You've been delivering on
this for a while. I have. I mean, of the mean
six, not five, mean six, man. Sorry, my bad,
bro. Of the mean six. Oh, mean, right, because
like horse mean. That's my bad. So that's my
bad. That's my bad. Of the mean six. Of the mean
six, I would say he's either a fluttershy or
an applejack. No, dude, he's totally a rarity.
Are you kidding me? He is not a rarity. I don't
know. I just said one of the ones he didn't say.
I don't know who Rarity is. Don't do Rarity dirty!
Okay, I'm sorry. Based on names alone, I'm going
Applejack. That's all my knowledges. We've seen
Applejack, the one with the brother that goes
ee -yup. Big Mac. That's Big Mac. Okay, got it.
Definitely a Big Mac. So that's of the main six.
I would say he's either a Fluttershy or an Applejack,
but if you were to broaden to the larger MLP
universe, he's Luna. He's an alicorn. He's the
alicorn princess to Queen Celestia. That makes
a lot of sense now that you said that like that.
I totally understand what you're saying. Is there
a little bit of brain trickling out of my ear
right now? Mike is having an aneurysm right now.
There's a little bit of blood. There's a little
bit of blood pouring out of his nose. We're gonna
power through it. We're gonna power through it.
So we know Cameron. I know what the clip is for
the episode. likes horses so she finds out what
the stables that he goes to every morning before
school on the dot she shows up and she's like
I want a lesson so before that can happen he's
like I need to help with some chores she's like
I will do it he's like you don't want to know
what it is no I'm here to help. Scoop and poop.
It's scoop and poop. I already know where this
is going. Scoop and poop. And they have some
banter there where she's scooping a lot of poop
and... They're bonding. They're bonding. There
is some bonding. Yep. So finally... You're gonna
be a horse girl. You gotta scoop some poop. Yep.
Poop's been scooped. Time to get on that horse.
so she gets on and then what's up what's the
horse's name do we remember gilly gilly and like
yeah yeah yeah yeah he's like oh this horse is
a little temperamental and then and then why
would you put on the temp horse right right right
right right exactly she's literally told him
i've never ridden a horse before oh well this
is our horse he's she's he's a little temperamental
and then he's like oh he really likes you i guess
he's not that temperamental yeah well right where
it's like you know usually he's pretty judgy
but he likes you for some reason let me guess
it's because she's a nice person and has a heart
of gold yeah he's a good judgy character yeah
right yeah we get that little exchange and he's
like okay get off the horse she's like oh i thought
we're gonna practice like no you're gonna first
practice getting off and on so she cannot get
off the horse she falls in horse poop he laughs
at her and then they throw poop at each other
throws poop like a monkey with her bare hand.
Oh, before that, before she gets on the horse,
she's scooping poop. She takes a selfie with
her hand on her back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's
like taking a selfie of her shoveling poop for
her followers, which I feel like is very kind
of productive. You were like, I was like, ew,
and you were like, what? I'm like, she just shoveled
poop. Yeah, right, right. And also, like, she's
trying to move away from her image of having
a snot, being the snot bubble girl, which is
like, okay, here's my, here's my, yeah, exactly,
right? I feel like it's way grosser than being
snot bubble girl. Like, if you have a snot bubble,
it happens. Like, you know? You're human. You're
human, but no, you're intentionally taking a
photo of me. Now you are choosing to - I'm shoveling
poop. Who am I? So we get through that horse
moment. We cut to high school. There's more horse
moments, don't worry. Cameron is walking down
the stairs with his friend, Nisha, his only friend,
and he's holding a - bag of snack chips yes yes
he has he has care to care to guess which snack
chips he was holding in his hands Doritos? YES!
Which one feels like the one that would chill
out in the bathroom? This is the Doritos! He's
like having a natural conversation he's like
twisting his arm open to make sure the Doritos
logo is out there. You too can eat Doritos! That's
what I wrote! And then I write so we're like
not quite halfway through, but all the characters
have been introduced. She um Pidgey shows back
up and she's like you two should come to this
party of people you barely know. It's a you know
it'll be fun. They're like okay sure. So I write
this movie is like an awkward Rubik's Cube that
rotates between being rote and cringy. Keep that
in mind. Feels about right. Feels about right.
So they go to this party. This party is like
think like I don't even know what to call it.
It's like a party. It's a what? It's a pool party.
It's a pool party, but think about it for like
ultra -rich people that aren't high schoolers,
you know what I mean? Think like, this could
be a scene out of Fast and Furious, almost. That's
gonna get you so much credit. But like, you know,
like - Gal Gadot will walk by and someone will
smack her ass. Yeah, right, right, right. Like
that kind of level. But these are all high schoolers,
and it's like, what the fuck kind of fucking
party is this? Like, what? It's a prom party.
And then they walk in, and then what's her -
Nisha. Nisha says like, oh dude, they have Pizza
Hut here! And she literally takes out a slice
of pizza. The irony being that none of these
people at these parties actually eat carbs. Yeah,
right, exactly. The idea is that the idea of
having Pizza Hut and then also KFC, which is
also name dropped, is they're ready for all these
people that are in bikinis and like super fit
and whatever, like it's like - There's Pizza
Hut, yo. That's when you show up for Robex or
fucking like Playa Bowls or some shit, you know
what I mean? We didn't even talk about the core
water. Oh, there's core water, right? They're
having core water at the cafeteria. At the cafeteria,
and it's just like obnoxiously in your face.
For the short scene, that bottle is never not
in the... Every shot has it. Every shot. Every
single expositional shot has some sort of product
to distract your eye. Every single. See, like
I want to give credit to the director because
they found the angles to make it happen. Yeah,
subtly or definitely not so subtly. So they're
at the pool party, there's a karaoke thing going
on, Pidgey walks over to Cameron and she's like,
oh, hey, are you going to sing? He's like, no.
No, I don't sing. And she's like, OK. gonna go
do it so she starts in a rendition of Teenage
Dream and then Jordan comes in so I say Pidgey
plays Pidgey performs sing and the crowd falls
asleep then Jordan plays paralyze Pidgey is paralyzed
for one turn then Cameron like I don't know maybe
he evolved and he leveled up in that moment now
he's got sing as an ability yeah yeah yeah so
as someone who's like I don't sing anything runs
up through the crowd he's like you Yeah, yeah
Yeah, so so pit so Pidgey is kind of struggling
like she was choose nailing at first and then
she sees her ex with the the other girls in Aniston
and she's like something and it's all very awkward
or whatever and then Cameron's like I gotta do
something about that. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah goes
up and sings with her very look trying to like
help her out or whatever and I will say and I'm
sorry I'm sorry to out you this elicited a genuine
From Joe, while we were watching this. Oh, we
got enough. We got enough. Yeah. Sets this movie's
credit, right? We got enough. Got it on. And
I was incredulous at this point, but I was also
pretty drunk. I was like, what? Also pretty drunk.
I like Teenage Dream as a song. I was manipulated,
maybe. Katy Perry's a great artist. We'll never
say otherwise. I have nothing wrong with Katy
Perry. Exactly. And then I write, this movie
is all the is all the poorly copied elements
of a better film. But in one fleeting moment,
truly, it comes together. emphasis on fleeting
like that rubik's cube yes so for one moment
as short as it was anyways after that after that
fleeting moment they split skis the best friends
have been lit the sparks have been lit but then
the best friend nisha is like okay we're gonna
leave can i take some kfc to go this party too
and then the next shot she has a bucket of kfc
she's just in the back seat of a car eating kfc
yeah come get your bucket yeah so not only is
there pizza hut and kfc at this party it's for
a crowd of people who do not eat carbs and they
definitely do not eat kfc no nisha's my girl
so no definitely yeah she's great because she
even like so they they get a ride they they drive
pidgey home and whatnot and after as she's getting
out of the car nisha pulls her aside because
like she and cameron are platonic best friends
Yeah, and she's like, you know, I like you but
if you break his heart or do whatever I'm gonna
fuck you up and yeah, no this I appreciate that.
This plot is not dumb enough Yeah, where this
is just not being this is not being questioned.
This right is very dumb We know what you're doing.
We're watching you. Yeah, just in case we forgot
she's in this Courtney Kardashian pops up again
She's like, oh, I saw the video of you guys.
It's getting better I think are your sponsorship
might come back on keep up the good work wink
wink. Nah, yeah Courtney Kardashian just shows
up to be like, hey. I need to know if she like,
produced this or something. No, I don't think
so. She's not in it enough to produce it, right?
I don't know. No, she's not enough in it to produce
it. Does Netflix eat Kardashian with it? No,
they don't. So where are we at now? What's the
next thing? So now they go horseback riding.
They go horseback riding on their own time. They
go to the old station. Yep. And I'm like, the
horseback riding is a metaphor. but not not living
life at full gallop question mark yeah and then
you utter probably a quarter gallop at a time
but i have tried at a time and this is when you're
like we're so they're bonding over coffee in
the station and andrew's like this must be like
what real white people anime not what not what
well yes right so so to me i was people i was
i was like just Was cringing so hard as fucking
forced -ass dialogue because like so this is
the scene where the guy? Cameron says like here
feels like oh like you know like I used to be
fine, but then my mom died and I'm sad And you
know I've just been there for my my grandma and
my sister and that's like that's why I'm kind
of a downer I guess but you know yeah, that's
the reason why yeah right and like and to me.
That's when I was like this is so fucking cliche
and rote this is what most people feel like anime
is probably right you know what i mean like watching
like real life anime would be well right right
like if i showed somebody like well if we watched
fucking broly right like you know like if we
watched like some dumb ass like Like, I don't
know. Like, just pick a random episode of Naruto
out of context where somebody is saying an impassioned
speech. Should we have an episode of War on High
School Host Club out of context? Sure. Whatever.
Some, you know, doing an impassioned speech that's
so cliché that you don't have the investment
in. That's where I was at. And I'm like, I get
it. I get why people don't like anime, bro. Because
this is anime for... This is so rude. This is
anime for high school girls. For high school
white people. Yeah. Emphasis on white people.
I guess that's true. Yeah. No, this movie is
incredibly white I also is also very incredibly
the tagline for this movie is it's his turn for
a makeover. Yeah Well, no, we're getting there.
Okay, so they're bonding. He's revealing a truth
to her. She's starting to fall for him He gets
a candid photo of her and he see like like Snaps
a picture of her and he's like and she's like
I didn't I didn't say you could take a pic of
me and he's like well like If I didn't ask then
you would have done the fake duck face and it
would have been fake and produced. She makes
that duck face, like that. Yeah, like all your
other selfies. And she's like, wow, that's really
deep. You're so real. You're so real, man. Wow,
I never thought of it that way. And then they
boned. No. You gotta wait another 45 minutes
for that shit. Damn it. So this is a great time
for her to be like, you should come to a party
that we're going to. And guess, do you want to
guess what the theme of the party is? Ugly Duckling?
No. Okay. Think more cliche. Under the sea. He's
not gonna get it. No, but that's the theme of
the prom. That's the theme of the prom. Under
the sea is always, yeah. What in the last? Horses!
No. Think of them! What's been a fad thing from
these past couple years, given the time frame
of what we're looking at? Here, I'll give you
a hint. Yes. Cheers? Yeah. Cheers in motion.
With fireworks. With fireworks in the background.
And Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, oh, Great Gatsby?
Yeah, it's a Great Gatsby theme. No! It's a Great
Gatsby theme party! Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a
Roaring Twenties Great Gatsby theme party. And
it's not just, like, in name only. Because all
subtext needs to be totally lost in this movie,
obviously, because I wasn't getting the message
of this film until they said, oh, it's like Great
Gatsby. And it's not, like, and this is, like,
and I'll gather in a moment, but this is not
like they went to Party City Great Gatsby party.
This is like they hired people. They actually,
like, yeah. They hired people to trip this up.
Rich people did rich things. Yeah. This is when
the montage happens. This is the makeup montage.
We gotta get you a zoot suit. They gotta get
him a zoot. There she invites his friend Nisha
and his sister Brynn. So they're all gonna come
along. So let's do a fashion montage. And this
is like they put him in nice clothes. He's oddly
ripped. This is when he finds out. He takes off
the shirt and he has a fucking six pack totally
ripped. And then she's like, oh, I had no idea
you were ripped. Yeah, right. oh my god yeah
was that there the whole time yeah right oh my
god oh my god for the fun and i put a fun fact
you know marty the stoner exactly what i'm doing
i reach my hand out and you guys know exactly
what i'm doing well like you know i know it's
haley atwell basically one of the greatest ad
libs but i love that marty the stoner in cabin
of the woods is equally as ripped as hensworth
but he was like wearing all those layers and
i love marty yeah no marty is great yeah so they
do the thing they get them the new clothes and
they're like all right you're hair and like oh
my god Tanner whatever his name is that wig they
put on him God bless him for putting up with
that because now it can finally, it can just
be his hair. So they cut off the wig, maybe they
waxed some eyebrows. Unlike Roy Kent, his eyebrows
are crazy. Roy Kent! Roy Kent! He's there! He's
there! He's there! He's there! He's there! He's
there! So off to the party we go. And like I
said, this is not your party city party. This
is like they hired swing dance people, they decked
out a mansion. It actually looks really, if you
like the 1920s aesthetic, great. However, I feel
like the people's infatuation with the 1920s
is kind of stupid because no one seems to remember
what happened at the end of them. What happened
afterwards, right? god damn it so some bad energy
while all those fucking 2020 new year's eve celebrations
happen i there's just so much gats being and
they're all you know wearing great outfits so
nisha unlike other all the other girls nisha
is not there to be daisy she's dressed as jordan
baker but guess what There's one other person
dressed as Jordan Baker, also a female, and they
fight each other. They start talking. This is
so the friend that Nisha befriended. So Nisha
is Cameron's friend. Best friend. Best friend.
One lone friend. And the other girl that she
hangs out with is... Pidgey's other friend. There's
two friends. Oh, okay. Yeah, so Cameron's friend
Pidgey's friend. Yeah, I don't remember her name,
but it starts with RQ. Yeah There's a Quinn in
the list so okay. Yes, that's that's probably
her then so Quinn who at this point we have so
I think Nisha had alluded Yeah, that's her. Yeah,
quit. So Nisha had alluded to being being a lesbian
Which is fine. Great. Love to see the representation.
Quinn or Q had not said anything, but they find
each other outside on a balcony and they're like,
oh, your house is Jordan Baker. And, you know,
it's a stupid movie that's only 90 minutes long
for high schoolers. Right. Pair them spares.
Yeah, pair the spares. And then they BOOM! Yes,
right. Maybe they did. Maybe they definitely
did. Whatever. Who cares? I mean, of the - They're
the most stable relationship in that whole fucking
movie. Yeah, they are. So while this is all happening
- I don't know how I'm trying to make it and
then they boned a thing, but I feel like I'm
trying to make that - These are - as a reminder,
these are high schoolers. So in case - in case
we forgot - These are - these are 20 -somethings
playing high school. So that's happening - Then
they mutually kissed. Then they mutually - yes
they held hands for a little bit and then they
made out yeah they probably did on that balcony
because they're they're together every year basically
yeah right that was like and then they were together
and then they were dating cool which is cool
good for them also there's just like whatever
i It was just so funny. I am all for LGBTQIA
representation. Yes. It's a very important thing
that we should work harder towards. But it shouldn't
be like a checklist right now. Exactly. This
definitely felt like, all right, we got the gay
couple in there. Where are we going? You know,
like, it was very forth. So, um... The Pidgey
and Cameron, who I think at this point I said
evolved into a Pidgey yodo because we're halfway
through the film. Pidgey yodo and Cameron go
into a photo booth. They have an almost kiss
moment, but then they get distracted. So they
go outside and Crocombe Douche has arrived. Yes,
Jordan. And he's just being an asshole. So for
whatever reason, I can't recall. He's like, all
right, we're going to go. You and me, Cameron,
we're going to fight. No, no, no. Because because
he like, OK, so so so so Jordan. Wow. Why do
I know this movie? I don't know Anyways, Jordan
is like Pidgey Oh that's right they're making
out and then Well no, Pidgey's like, or Jordan's
like Pidgey like I broke up or Aniston, Allison
broke up Aniston, thank you, Aniston He flirted
with his sister, now he flirted with his sister
Right, that's what I'm saying, but Pidgey, so
he tries to rebound back to Pidgey, Pidgey says
Pidgey Pidgey uses tail whip and says no, I don't
want to be with you anymore and like fuck off
and then and then And then and then and then
he's like what the hell and then oh, no He not
she knocks out her mango his mango or no his
watermelon seltzer and he's a bro like that was
my last warm -up so tonight was only mango left
I hate mango your actual life in the movie and
Oh mango and then he goes to me and then yeah,
he goes to make out with scary eyes on makes
me makes Yeah, i'm brinn, which is the cameron
sister and yeah, who's a 10th grader? Who's a
10th grader? She's a sophomore which is good
because she looked younger than the rest of the
cast I was wondering. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so she's
a younger sister. Yeah Who looks older than a
senior? So it's gross again. It's no gross, right?
And then he's like, hey, like how are we going
out? She's like And then the next scene cuts
to over to being like Time to say happy birthday
to Alden. Yes, yes, yes, and then to Alden, but
then, but then like, you know, Brynn walks out
and being like, oh, like Jordan, you know, we
were, we were making out and it was fine. And
then he, he wanted more and he tried to do stuff.
So she bonked him with a... Bonked him with a
cue ball or something like that. With a bender
ball. And then that sets Cameron off and Cameron's
like... Alright, what the fuck like you need
to get the fuck out of here right now, which
is fair fine Whatever and then that's the forced
fight scene where like where Jordan's like what
you want to go, bro Rips off his shirt looking
looking any excuse to show off show off them
nips. He loves taking a shirt off He loves again,
so he needs to be in vampire boys story. He does
Part of again again why he's one of my he's my
favorite part of this movie because he's such
a caricature and I love it like I feel like he's
the most self -aware thing in this movie and
We know Pidgey Odo or Pidgey her best friend
Alden one of them the one who was filming her
breakdown This was her birthday party. That's
what this party is. She's annoyed her attention
spotlights been taken away. So Jordan's ripped
off his shirt Cameron's like, all right, let
me take my camera who I've already talked about
being very important Yeah, it's his mom's camera.
Sorry. Sorry. I forgot about that. That was part
of the exposition at the station. It's his mom's
camera his dead mom's camera Yeah, dead, dead,
dead. Mabu is now dead. Guess what happened?
So he puts it by the pool, the most dangerous
spot for any photographer. I feel like any copyist
photographer is gonna not put them by a source
of water. But whatever, he puts it by the pool.
It's a safe spot, it's a safe spot. And now it's
time to rumble. So he can fucking punch. Because
remember, he likes kung fu. He likes kung fu.
So he watched so many kung fu movies that he's
good at fighting. He's basically like pulling
a spiked people. So we know he's ripped, we know
he likes kung fu movies. And Kurosawa. So he
watched yeah, right. He's like Samurai. Yeah.
Yeah, he spikes Biggles the shit out of this
guy Dodges dodges him punches him out and he's
like, yeah, bro. What you want more? And I'm
like, no Whatever. Anyways, people are like cheering
him on as the people's hero for standing up to
Jordan or whatever And then he's like, all right
I'm getting out of here right now. And then Pidgey
is like - No, you forgot the camera bear hopping
in the water. Whoa, whoa, whoa, right, right.
Well, he's about to leave, and he's like - and
Pidgey's like, wait, like, don't go, like, why
are you leaving? And like, why the fuck do you
think he's leaving? His fucking sister just got
sexually assaulted, like - Yeah, by a douche.
Yeah, by - by croak and douche. and it's like
what like whatever anyways and then yeah so that
exchange happens and it's weird and then and
then and then jordan's like oh hey don't forget
your camera drops it in the pool yes yeah yeah
so he switches he fishes out his pool we don't
know if it's fixed ever no um so he runs away
and it's like dude why did you leave people are
like cheering your name so the next day Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Keep in mind, this is when
the conflict starts to happen, being like, why
did you even bring me here? Throw that. Why are
you hanging out with me? Literally, it was so
random. Yeah, the conflict is happening now.
So Pidgey chases after Cameron. He gets his camera.
He gets his camera back, it's stopping when he
walks back to the car. Pidgey chases back like,
Cameron, wait, we're having a good time. Why
are you leaving? People love you. He's like,
why are you hanging out with me? What the hell?
Something's going on. I don't get it. I am the
dark knight. I am the dark knight. Well, but
it's just very forced, like, why does this have
anything to do with anything? Why are you bringing
up the fact that they're hanging out now? Yeah,
I'm like, this is happening now. It's very weird.
Anyways, that's supposed to be the hint at the
conflict that's happening. He's like, whatever.
I'm going home. It's fine. And her friend's like,
oh my god, you're falling for him. And you know,
it's like, so the fuck what? Yeah, right. That
wasn't part of the bet. Who cares? Right, right,
right. Yeah, yeah, the friend, Alden, the birthday
girl, calls like, I hope you didn't forget about
our bet. Yeah, what's gonna happen if you lose?
Why are you Big Mouth? Who's the one girl from
Big Mouth? Lola? Oh my god, Lola? I feel like
Lola would be such a great addition to this movie.
Lola would be the evil friend. Oh my god. No,
she wouldn't be the evil friend, she'd be like...
Quinn? Yeah. I can't I can't do it So the next
day he is now on nomination roll for prom king
along with Sebastian Woo. Sebastian Woo comes
back. Jordan's also prom king. Sebastian Woo
the king. Sebastian. We want Sebastian to win.
I want Sebastian to win. For prom queen Pidgey
was running unopposed and then her former friend
Alden reveals she sabotaged. She set up all of
that to ruin PG's career. She was recording her
breakup, the broken douche moment on purpose
to make sure she lost followers, so she lost
online clout, so she would have a chance to become
queen. She set PG up in an impossible situation.
Okay. And this is all being told in this very
dramatic spinning shot Yeah, the camera gets
wacky words like it's just her it's it's her
and I said right face to face like she's she's
she's Monologuing at her and it's just it's just
pan shot and then reverse pan shot in the reverse
pan shot Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's very strange.
Yeah, it's very odd. So we find out her friends
now He directed Mean Girls! Alright, well...
Jesus. So Cameron has a much better film than
this. Cameron gets a pep talk from his little
sister and he's like, you know what, yeah, let's
be prom kings. So he's like, oh, I can't just
ask her to be a prom. I gotta do a thing. You're
skipping over the very important part where Cameron
takes Pidgey to the dark room. No, that happens
after. No, no, no, no, no. You're right. No,
no what happens? I was drinking more, but I was
somehow They invite over to kind of make for
make amends yes He's like I'm gonna take you
somewhere where no one's been before not his
bedroom, but the dark room. Yes, right No, they're
going to photo Yeah, yeah, Lily's like I've never
showed anyone this not even my grandma she must
think I'm to cook a lot of meth down here Yeah,
like she's like I never showed anyone this like
do you know why you're here Pidgey and he said
oh She's just like no, it's like well And she's
also gearing up to being like because like they
also like you're gonna have to tell him eventually
that he's part of a bet like you have to tell
him like you you have to let him now and he's
like you know why you're here it's because I
trust you and then he's and then she's like I'm
sorry. I'm sorry. They make out beforehand, right?
That's the big they big kiss they kiss they kiss
that's a big passionate kissing and she's like
and he's like you're here because I trust you
and then she runs out she's like I can't I'm
sorry I gotta go and then this is when he's like
I'm gonna I'll embrace the prom king thing yes
yes there's a car wash now oh yeah for more more
to raise money for prom so he shows up at the
car wash with a bouquet of flowers and a giant
photo of her not creepy at all he's like will
you be my lady and that's when Alden decides
a second double cross oh what Let's talk about
why you two started talking to begin with. It's
like, you know you're gonna bring up the bet,
right? And he's like, what bet? And then that's
the turn. That's the turn right there. There
it is. Yep. Yep. So it's revealed that he was
a bet, he gets mad, he runs away. As one does.
Oh well. Pidgey has this moment of like, ugh,
I was in this for the wrong reasons. So we jump
to under the sea prom night, we meet the principal
who's voiced - Who is Matthew Lillard? yeah okay
voice had only been on so this thing yeah so
he had been the announcer the whole time like
he's been like reminder class or like whatever
but be sure to get your votes in for prom game
prom queen or whatever he does all the announcements
and then he shows up and he's the principal yeah
so uh before a little bit before this Pidgey
calls uh Cameron's sister and trying to get him
to come and she like does a thing and then later
so like we get into the prom so like prom starts
up And how do you think a teen remake of a late
90s film would kind of like get all the main
leads in one spot for a prom? What do you think
would happen? Oh my god. Oh my god. Nominees
for? No. dance battle. It's a dance battle. That
makes no sense because what are they fighting
for? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Like,
literally it's so forced. They're like, okay,
so keep in mind, like, Cameron, Cameron, the
guy is already, he's out of the plot at this
point, basically. He's, he's, he is pouting.
He's out of the plot. He's pouting with his horses
back at the ranch. Like, he's not going to prom
at all. Like, he's like, I don't trust anybody.
I'm going back to the ranch. We'll come back
to him, though. We'll go back to him. He hasn't
shown up on screen for 15 minutes, and literally
they just show up at the prom and, like, Pidgey
is just like, I'm gonna power through this. Whoa,
whoa, whoa. He's, she's just like, I have a plan.
Like, it's It's like, whatever, I'm not gonna
get what I want, but I'm just gonna say what
I need to say. And then Alden, the nasty friend,
shows up being like, I'm gonna be prom queen.
I'm gonna take over this prom. And she's like,
whatever, Alden, whatever. And she's like, oh,
we're gonna have to find the dance -off. And
I'm like, what dance -off? What, there's a dance
-off? There's a dance -off for two and a half,
like three minutes. And then Matthew Lawrence
being like, and now we start the dance -off.
Wow, this high school has weird traditions. And
then they have not. I'm not kidding. Is that
an actual line? Maybe. It's something like, this
high school has really weird traditions. It's
something like that. Like basically waving away
this plot device. And, and not kidding you, it's
like a six to eight minute long. It's not that
it's five minutes, maybe a max. It's a long time.
It's a long time. It's two percent of this movie.
And this is, and remember as - It's a non -incidently
chunk of this movie. They have a dance -off.
Addison Rae is a dancer, so it makes sense that
this was gonna happen eventually. Yes, yes, but
it's so goddamn long. It's so goddamn long and
like, you know, all of the, it's Addison Rae
and all of the rest of the cast behind her, you
know, Misha, and I think the sister is in there
too, right? No, I don't think so. No, that's
right. But you know what? They had set up earlier
that the school had a dance team and then later
Alden was gonna start a second one. Is this what
the dance teams were for? Maybe. It was just
for this very - Just for this? Anyways, it's
- and the bad best friend dancing angrily at
each other. You got served. Yeah, you got served
style, but we were forced. But it just kind of
ends, there's no like conclusion. There's no
resolution, there's no like, okay, and she won
the dance off. It goes to here. It just happens,
and then they just move on. Because Addison Rae
needed to do a dance, because she's a dancing
TikToker, I guess, right? Yeah, and while this
is happening, Brynne, Cameron's sister, goes
to talk to him about it. Six minutes. It goes
to talk to him about it. Six minutes of my life
I won't get back. You know, you need to go after
her, and then she kind of frames... It's so annoying.
They make Pidgey Jesus. She's like, Brinton's
brother is like, this girl made you alive again.
We need her. I like you when you're around her.
AKA, this girl makes our lives worth meeting.
You need to go after her. She's like, you just,
you finally became my brother again after you
started hanging out with this random girl and
I just miss you and I want you to date her so
you can be - cool again so he so he goes off
to do something we don't know what but he misses
the dance off prom king and queen get called
sebastian who does not win what devastated i
know i'm devastated devastated table flip what
the fuck jerry jordan does jordan of course um
it's the queen is revealed to be pidgey And then
she makes this speech about how her life is not
what they what it seems, but it's OK. She's going
to be real. She is now. I have something to admit.
I do my makeup before I do my TikToks every morning.
Yeah. So I don't actually live in a rich, rich
apartment complex. I live with my mom in a very
not as nice place. Her please forgive me speech
is not really that bad. Yeah. She's just going
to come off as endearing and get more followers.
It's all manipulative. Yeah. So she leaves. She
doesn't take the crown. So then Alden runs up
and she's like, I guess. It's me, and Matthew
Lillard's like, no, you lost by a shit ton. It's
not you. So the weird, the runner - A .K .A.
the funniest part is that you were actually,
like, fourth place or something like that. Yeah,
the runner -up is this goth girl named Celeste.
Which was kind of a forced punch line, but yeah.
I like Celeste. I like her a lot. I like her
a lot. She had one line previously we glossed
over, which was kind of a forced - But I think
goth girl, like, buzz head, black nose ring,
please say. Yes, I like the fact that she won,
but she's also, like, Because because her whole
entire punch like she had one line before she
wins prom queen and it's like All right, like
I don't subscribe to the heteronormative idea
of a prom king But if I did I'd vote for you.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Right. Like again,
I love her makeup I love what how she looks in
the movie, but like it's great, but it's more
like the punch line is just very stereotypical
It's like okay. What it feels like boomer humor
almost right? Do you know what I mean? Like,
it's like, okay, like people don't actually talk
like that. It's just because they could do it,
so they do it. Yeah, it sucks because I like
sluts. It's a little forced. I like sluts too.
We're happy for sluts. We're happy for sluts.
So Pidgey runs out. Guess who comes riding up
on a horse to meet her? It's Cameron! And then
Kiss Me is playing in the background. The song
from the first movie. It's a remix though. It's
a remix. It's a remix of the cover. You can't
touch Sixpence. What's interesting here... It's
a remix of the cover, yeah. We got some continuity
breaks here though. So Pidgey gave this speech
about how these photos of me are not me, this
is who I am. Cameron doesn't have a smartphone,
but when he rides up he's like, I saw your apology.
How? How are you getting a horse with your non
-existent smartphone, getting on, riding there,
and then we find out like there was a trailer.
But like, regardless, how did you watch this
if you were like in transit? Like when did you
unplug the horse from the car and then ride out?
Right. Stuff had to be set up for this. It's
it's it's annoying. But you know what? We're
almost done So, you know, but he had said earlier
in the film something about like who you are
is not really who you are But you need to be
who oh my god. No, no, no, no, no the line. I
didn't write it down It was like it was like
high school is full of people that are scared
of who they truly are or something like that
You know some forced bullshit. So and I said
when he said it the first time like I bet they
repeat that line Yeah, no, no, you're like I
bet they're really proud of it and they he said
and she's like somebody was fairy wise once said
the high school is full of people that are scared
of who they truly are. It's gotta be who you
truly are. Chin yourself. Oh my god. So she gets
off the horse, he forgives her, they kiss, and
the movie fires. is over. Finally. Yes. And you
get some, you know, funny montage and then you
get to see what the bet really, what was the
consequence of the bet? Right, right. They finally
go on a trip. They were talking about going on
a trip to... No, that was him and Nisha, but
you know, it goes nowhere. Yeah, but like we
wanted to travel and she's like, hi guys, I'm
on my trip with my boyfriend. He's keeping me
in check. I'm taking real pictures now. I'm taking
real pictures now. I hope you guys like the new
direction we're in. And then it's a montage of
their photos together in like... do you want
to take a guess what the bet was what like the
loser like what happens to the loser just like
it's very bad pictures no okay go bigger yeah
go a little more permanent than that we'll say
i don't know it's a tattoo of the word loser
on your forearm that's that's it that's about
their whole lives. So it ends with them. That's
the photo of them. I would rather eat waffles
for 24 hours. But we end on things unresolved.
So we know Paget now evolved into fully Pidgeot.
She's going off to NYU. What's he doing? He's
taking that gap year. So Jill thinks they break
up six months later. Guaranteed. I don't know,
man. He's not bettering himself. He just said
a lot of deep shit, you know? I mean, he does
have the six pack, but I guarantee you no. He
does have the six pack. Yeah, but it's underneath,
like, the most pretentious fake attitude ever.
So it's one month for each pack, right? Each
app, right? No, I bet they get through halfway
through freshman year, and then she has the effect
that he's holding her back with his useless,
not... He's not doing anything with his life.
Yeah. He's taking pictures of trash and telling
people it's art. All right. We need to jump to
ratings. We need to. We are on a journey here.
Oh, I give this movie one out of five smart food
ads. One? Okay. It's a flat. This is not the
worst movie I've seen. I got an Awe out of it.
I can't say zero. This is not the worst movie
I've seen. I would say this movie is harmless
because it... Just stupid. It's just fucking
stupid. Exactly. Like you see the trailer, you
know exactly what this fucking movie is. Like
I said, you could throw darts at a dartboard.
It is nothing more, nothing less. It is not the
most offensive movie I've ever seen. More Matthew
Lillard though. It is not worthwhile. Should
have had more Matthew Lillard. And Sebastian.
It's Sebastian. It is Sebastian. I already know
what my behind the bat is for a TikTok. So because
of Matthew Lillard. Yep. So yeah. There should
have been more Matthew Lillard. It's a flat one
for me, but like it's not - One out of what though?
What was your scale? Smart food. Smart food.
Okay. Fine. Another blatant ad. Fine. One out
of, one TikTok out of five. That's it. Okay.
All right. That's it. Flat out. Thank you guys
for tuning in to Game For A Movie where we ask,
are you game for a movie? I've been your host,
Mike. Joined by Andre and Jill. Thank you very
much. We'll see you next time, guys. Thanks for
listening. Bye. Bye.