You know what that sound means? It's another
Game for a Movie episode, episode 36. My name
is Mike Butank. I'm your host. I am joined by...
Andre. And Jill. Yay! Yes, you guys got it this
time, yes. So, it's an interesting day because
we don't have Mitchell. Unfortunately, he was
feeling a little under the weather. I guess we
could have played Where's Mitchell, but... We'll
just spoil it this time. Yeah, we'll just spoil
it this time. He's just not feeling well. So
we hope for a fast and speedy recovery for Mitchell.
Yeah. We're pretty confident it's not the COVID.
No, I don't think so. I don't think so either.
Just in case people are saying, oh, he's under
the weather. It's got to be COVID. Blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. When in doubt, it's the Rona.
Right, exactly. When in doubt, it's the Rona.
Yeah, it's pretty accurate, actually. um let's
start with what are we drinking so we're gonna
start with jill just because actually i want
to finish on andre for this one okay that's fine
i'm drinking the really exciting beverage water
ah water it's so responsible yeah that's a good
thing to be drinking it's very cold though and
i oh i like cold water i just saw mike pull up
a beard can Yes, I did pull up a beard can. I
do love beard a lot. They are infamous for me
with dogs and boats and their knockoff, which
is a little lighter, kittens and canoes. I have
their eight days a week, which is an American
pale ale single hopped with citra. Is that a
Beatles reference? It has to be. I mean, yeah,
technically, yes. You can edit that out. but
that's a song it's it's it's from the early days
it's less than 15 seconds we're not going to
get busted for it so right no it's just a bad
rendition of it i'm more of a rubber soul revolver
onward um yeah i really don't know why the reason
it's called eight days a week, but it is a Beatles
reference. It's definitely a Beatles reference,
but they have like the clock that you punch the
clock and everything like that. So it's very
good. It's not my favorite beard, but it is a
very good beard. I mean, any beard is a good
beard. Exactly. That's not true. What? Any beer
is a good beer. Any bearded beer. Okay, I heard
any beer is a good beer. Any beer from the brewery
beard. Yes, any beer from the brewery beard is
good. Not every beer is good. I will also say,
like, my can is very perspiring. So, like, my
hands are very wet. So if you hear, like, my
hands going, it's just more so because the beer
is just, like, sweating on me. Yeah. So that
brings us to Andre. Andre, I want to know what
this concoction is you made. Okay. Oh, so I made
myself a cocktail. It is called the 12 Mile Limit.
Do you want me to just tell you what's in it?
Yeah. Tell me everything. All right. Here's the
specs. One ounce rum, half ounce rye whiskey,
half ounce cognac, half ounce grenadine, half
ounce lemon juice. This shit is dope. I was just
going to say, how does it taste? That's a lot
of alcohol. It is, but, well, you know, it's
only half an ounce of a bunch of stuff, so. Yeah,
that's fair. About your average cocktail. Yeah,
it's tasty. I had some granite I needed to get
through, so I gave it a shot. Very happy. I will
say, if you haven't heard before, Andre is a
cocktail wizard. Wizard in training, we'll say.
No, he is a cocktail wizard. Yeah. You made Malort
taste good. Yeah, you did. That's just by punching
down Malort with a bunch of other shit in it.
We'll figure it out. It doesn't matter. You made
Malort taste good. It tasted like Mountain Dew.
I'm not joking. I mean, that's a success for
sure. Yes, exactly. Well, of course, we can talk
all day about what we are drinking, but we've
come here to talk movies, and movies we shall
talk. Andre, you are going to get us started
with something that I will say You are free to
spoil. So a big spoiler alert right now. Okay.
Because I have had zero interest in this film.
The only reason I've had interest is because
you and Jill, as well as Mitchell, have seen
it and said it's good. Yeah. I guess we should
talk about the movie we're talking about, right?
We're going to be talking about The Green Knight.
I won't. I mean, honestly, when you say like,
oh, feel free to spoil it. I don't think the
narrative beats are, like, the point of this
movie. Does that make sense? Like, I can just
give you the plot summary, and that's, like,
0 % of the reason why I enjoy this movie so much.
Does that make sense? So, as somebody who has
seen the trailer, he basically just needs to
get revenge on this thing? Sure. Okay, so the
synopsis is, so this is based off of the classic,
like, Sir Gawain's tale, right? Okay. So this
is, like, a medieval... Fairy tale's not the
right word, but... It's one of King Arthur's...
Arthurian legend. Arthurian legend, yes. And
so the whole synopsis of this is that Gawain,
he's a knight or a knight -to -be in King Arthur's
court, and one day on Christmas Eve, I believe...
It's a Christmas movie. Yeah, it's a Christmas
movie. Christmas movie, okay. Though it's not
hard. The mysterious figure called the Green
Knight shows up and challenges... king arthur
to have any one of his knights strike him and
the deal is is that whoever gives strikes him
he will strike back uh one year hence so uh gawain
eager to prove himself uh basically decapitates
the green knight the green knight cackles picks
up his head sleepy hollow style and says one
year hence and then rides off cackling so the
bulk of this movie and the bulk of the tale is
sir gawain leaving camelot to confront the green
knight one year after that happened right um
okay so yeah uh like i said narratively it's
not going to be like oh man there's like all
these huge plot twists and all these betrayals
and whoa you know um off the top this is not
game of thrones I feel like people are coming
to this movie thinking that, oh, it's dark, it's
fantasy, it's quote -unquote grounded. That means
it's going to be kind of like United Thrones,
right? Not at all. No. There is zero action in
this movie. There is zero fight scenes in this
movie. The most violent scene is probably when
Gawain first fights the Green Knight. Oh, so,
like, it's, what, 20 minutes into the film, this
is the most violent we get? It's, like, a half
hour into the film. The most action we get, we'll
say, right? How long is the runtime on this?
Over two hours. A little bit over. I didn't feel
it, though. I mean, I felt it, and I didn't feel
it. I didn't come out of that movie being like,
wow, that was a little long. No, like, it was
a journey, and it felt earned, as it were, right?
Nice, okay. Yeah. So this whole entire movie
is about kind of what does it mean to be a knight?
So the whole idea is that Gawain kills the green
knight and all of Camelot like kind of praises
that it's going to apply these to praise as a
hero, but he doesn't feel like he's earned it.
So, so, uh, you know, Dev Patel, he plays Gawain,
and he definitely kind of sells that. One of
my favorite scenes in the movie, one of my favorite
shots, oh, my God. This is a classic, like, super
long shots. Loves to linger in all of the landscapes
as Gawain travels. And my favorite of these shots
is right when Gawain is leaving Camelot to go.
He's riding on horseback. He has his big, bright
yellow sash and, you know. uh king arthur has
like made him kind of swear an oath of honor
to go and confront the the green knight um and
so he's leaving camelot and uh you kind of like
see like he's just kind of looking off solemnly
into the distance and these kids are kind of
following up behind him chasing after him like
the wayne whoa we love you You're the best, Gawain.
Yeah, yeah. And, like, he totally ignores them,
just trying to be stoic. And as soon as he kind
of, I mean, he's looking kind of determined and
stoic. And as soon as the kids kind of give up
and know that, like, oh, he's not going to pay
attention to us, and they start walking back,
you can see the blood kind of drain from his
face almost a little bit. And you can see the
kind of emotions that, like, wow, like, I'm so
terrified of this. I'm way over my head on this.
Okay. Yeah, it's just a lot of kind of wordless
storytelling kind of like that. Nice. And Dev
Patel is a great pick for that. Oh, dude. I mean,
like this movie would not work if he wasn't as
talented of an actor as he is. He carries so
many of the scenes because it really, you are,
he is the perspective character. You do not leave
his perspective at all. Okay. If I can add, you
really, besides him being just like a fantastic
actor, he really sells Gawain or Garwin. You
know, it's Arthurian English. Well, what's funny
is that the characters pronounce it different
ways, too. King Arthur says Garwin, and most
other people say Gawain in the movie. I love
that they, like, didn't say it. Yeah, yeah. Anyways.
So, the... tying into his character how he's
not a knight. He wants to be. He's the king's
nephew. King Arthur's sister is Morgan Le Fay.
I don't know if we ever actually get her name
dropped, but that's who it's supposed to be.
So, you know, he's... When the movie starts,
you know, he wants to be a knight, but, you know,
he's this young 20 -something guy living his
life, spending most of his times in brothels
with his sweetheart, dreaming about, you know,
slaying dragons and whatnot. But what does he
really know about actually being a knight? And
then when the Green Knight comes... um the challenge
is thrown down and he acts upon it he chops off
his head and then it's you know you have one
year and what andre can say is that the town
like celebrates his victory yes right like a
whole year there's a puppet show that's telling
the story over and over again okay yeah and um
you know i it it's it's so there's a lot of things
said with no dialogue And like hats off to the
director with that. And also just this movie
is stunning. Chris Lowry is his name? Yeah, Chris
Lowry. David Lowry. Sorry, David Lowry. Mitchell
was talking really highly of another Lowry film,
I think called A Ghost Story. A Ghost Story,
yes. That's why I feel bad that we're not talking
about this movie with Mitchell because it is
honestly a classic A24 movie. And the plan was
to be with Mitchell. Yeah. Totally understand
like this. we're still talking about the movies
we're talking about because we had planned to
do it with Mitchell. So we'll, we'll get his
thoughts. I want him to listen to the episode
and then we'll do like at the beginning of the
next episode, the Mitchell recap where he's like,
here's his thoughts. Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom. Mitchell recap. I like that. Yeah. There's.
Going into tying into what Andre was saying,
this is not Game of Thrones. This movie is a
very slow -burning candle. Yes, fair. The most
gory scene is right at the beginning. Everything
else is long, simmering, right under the surface.
But I think if you watched the trailer and you
thought, this looks like a really cool alternative
take to an Arthurian legend. I'm loving the atmosphere
and the ambiance. go see it if you looked at
that and were thinking game of thrones or you
know robin hood yeah you're not this is not this
is not robin hood well and what's funny about
this is like you guys are saying there's no action
or anything like that or not not no action but
like no like sword fights kind of stuff yeah
we saw a preview for this when we saw fast nine
I know we did. You're right. They did. They did
play that beforehand. No. So it feels like it
kind of was like poorly set up because you're
like, Oh, I'm going into dumb action. You know,
it's a, it's another, you know, it's, it's a,
it's a, it's another movie that does well on
the big screen, I guess. Right. You know, cause
I will say at the top, like the, this movie is
gorgeous and I'm glad that I saw it on a big
screen, you know? But yeah, no, it couldn't be
more farther away from the appeal of fast nine,
you know, like there. Completely opposite in
terms of goals. I'm also laughing because he
said, yeah, no. Yeah. I apologize now. My dad
hates, yeah, no. Yeah, no. As a statement? Yes.
I mean, yeah, because it makes no sense. Yeah.
Yeah, no. Yeah, it's oxymoronic. Yeah. And so,
no. Oh, God. He hates that statement. And so
whenever anybody says it. I'd never call anybody
out on it, but because we're on a podcast where
we talk, I have to say something about it. Literally,
it just made me smile when he said, yeah, no,
because immediately I'm just like, God damn it,
Dan. No, yeah. No, yeah. um so yeah i mean like
the basically like the the most the bulk of this
movie is gawain on his way to trying to confront
the green knight and uh he kind of it's about
him kind of passing or encountering these various
uh chivalrous trials we'll call them right oh
yeah and what i like about this movie is that
he sort of passes them sort of does it yeah you
know And it's very extremely murky. This movie
like does not give you any straight answers.
It kind of leaves the actual narrative beats
at arm's length. And in a way, this is going
to sound dumb and reductive, but I just got to
speak to all the gamers out here. All right.
You have played and enjoyed. the narrative of
dark souls or any other souls yeah right there
it is you might be into this because it's kind
of it gave me a similar kind of vibe where with
in dark souls i mean obviously dark souls was
inspired by gawayne's tale not the other way
around right right um And but I kind of felt
similarly to trying to piece together narrative
in that dark, grounded fantasy world by like,
OK, what really happened here? Like, you have
to kind of piece a lot of stuff together yourself.
And if you kind of like that aspect of it, I
kind of felt that similar way watching this movie.
And it kind of it's a movie that kind of begs
to be rewatched, I would say. Thus, another reason
why I had no interest. Have you ever seen the
movie Mirror Mask? or ever heard of the movie
mirror mask okay it has nothing to do with the
green knight they're very different films but
mirror mask is a really atmospheric fantasy film
that is all about the imagery and the long shots
and the story is just wackadoo okay you're it's
really told by the imagery and the symbolism
and the metaphors of all of that. And The Green
Knight is metaphor the film. Everything is a
metaphor or a symbol. I don't want to say an
allegory. Yeah, okay. But there's a lot of that.
So if you like investigating meaning in film
and you already like the arthouse slow burn types,
this is like... This is a goldmine for that.
If he starts feeling sad and the scenery turns
blue, my English teacher would love it. Got it.
I don't, blue is not really used in, there's
cognizant choices for color. No, yeah, yeah.
Okay, all right. Yeah, yeah, no, I, yeah. Okay,
all right. One last final. One last final shout
-out to wrap this up. I've got to say, I love
the soundtrack to this movie as well. Again,
not your typical fantasy affair. There's no harps,
there's no lutes, there's no horns. It's all
very atmospheric. There's a lot of choir singing
in it. I think the soundtrack is by Daniel Hart.
One of my favorite tracks is when the Green Knight
appears, and there's this kind of synthetic...
almost like a horror inspired track with like
this weird whooshing, you know, it feels almost
like a machine like whooshing over. Yeah. I think
it's called. Let me look at the track real quick.
It's called, yeah, One Year Hence. That's the
track I'm thinking of. Okay. It absolutely adds
to the tension of the scene because there's so
many long shots of just the Green Knight staring
at Arthur, who's staring at the Green Knight,
who's staring at the Queen, who's staring at
Gawain. Guinevere? Guinevere, yes, sorry. Guinevere,
okay, yeah. then the soundtrack kind of really
ties the scene together. So this Daniel Hart,
I just pulled him up, and it seems like he's
worked on all of these David Lowery films. Which
makes sense. Which makes sense. So he's a composer
for at least four of them right now that I can
see. He also was the composer for Smilf. What?
Okay. What is Smilf? What is that? Do I want
to know? Smilf was a TV series. No, well, so
that's Single Mom? Single mom. Oh, my God. A
single 20 -something mom struggles to find a
happy work -life balance. Yeah. And it's Frankie
Shaw. Really, what we need to thank Smell for
is Samara Weaving was in it. Wow. Okay, I can
thank that now. Yes. And so, I mean, like Rosie
O'Donnell was in this. Jesus Christ. Connie Britton.
What the hell was this cast? But really, I just
found it funny because like I'm seeing all these
things. I'm like Green Knight, Ghost Story, The
Old Man, Pete's Dragon, and then Smilf. Smilf.
Smilf. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No, no. It's all good.
This is, so I guess. We'll just put a bow on
it. I don't have to give my rating on this, right?
You do, yes. I'm encouraging Jill to give a rating.
It's tough because I feel like you need to watch
it again because I really like this movie. It
could go up or down, but my gut feeling is that
it would go up. I'm going to stick it in at a
four. Um, gooey rags out of five. Oh, don't talk
to me about that. Oh God. Don't worry about it.
Okay. Okay. Um, I would, I would give it something
in the fours. I would give it a 4 .2, uh, headless,
um, headless lady. Headless lady. Okay. All right.
Um, well, you guys were saying this is basically
metaphor of the movie. Basically. I'm gonna do
a movie that just beats you over the head and
there's no metaphor. Oh, is it a movie about
family? Uh, it does have family. Found family?
Huh? Found family? Uh, yeah, kind of. Is it about
a man's chivalrous journey? Uh... chivalrous
journey, I guess? No, not really. Not about a
knight, but a king! Anyway, sorry. Yes, about
a king. Don't even at this point, because now
we've got a whole conversation here. We do, we
do. So, we're going to talk about Space Jam,
A New Legacy. Space Jam, A New Legacy. If you
don't know, I mean, you should know. Come on,
it's Space Jam, but just with LeBron James. I
guess better CGI? Yeah. The original didn't even
have, like, it had CGI, but, like, the charm.
The charm. Okay, the charm and the, okay, sure.
Charm and CGI are two very different things.
Exactly. CGI is cold and heartless. Charm is
heartless, or heartful and warm, I guess. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know. So, LeBron James, obviously,
taking over the mantle for Michael Jordan, the
goat. that goes into the interwebs of WB characters.
It's not even the interwebs of regular things.
It's just Warner Brothers. It's Warner Brothers
the movie. It's a commercial for Warner Brothers.
It's Wreck -It Ralph Breaks the Internet. Yeah,
that's a good call. Yeah, I've been sitting on
that for a while. Wow, this is that movie, isn't
it? Holy shit. Yeah, and when I saw Ralph Breaks
the Internet, yes, I felt it. but not as much
is what I will say. You're right about that,
though. Yeah. So him and his son are at odds.
They each go into the interwebs of WB World and
Algae Rhythm. Played by one. Played by Don Cheadle.
Don Cheadle. I just. Chewing on that scenery.
I need to knock him now. because i can't knock
him later so algae rhythm and it is literally
rhythm not not like an algorithm it's like rhythm
like beat yeah what i don't have is a white boy
dancing right now what else would it be though
right yeah right exactly um so let's talk about
the good before we get into the bad well there's
good there's good don cheeto was very good As
good as he could be. He was the MVP of the movie.
I think that is a fair statement. Pulling a lot
of scenery. Yep. And we will also talk about
the one Michael Jordan joke that is the best
line of the whole movie. Yep. When they say they
found Michael Jordan and he needs to help them
at halftime and it's Michael B. Jordan eating
popcorn and just glorious in his dream. Yeah,
no, that was funny. I'll give them the film that.
Yes. So I think that's where the good stops.
I mean, they also showed the block, you know,
when LeBron James blocked Andre Iguodala. That
was pretty good. I liked seeing Pennywise the
clown in the crowd shots. That was fun. But it
wasn't real Pennywise? Because we do need to
address those characters behind the bench. Oh,
yeah. They could do it, so they did do it. Yeah,
so those were always the things that drove me
nuts. um that was that was probably the biggest
thing that drove me nuts about this movie was
the fact that the fake characters were behind
them where it was like brand name characters
where you realize it's i gotta pull it up now
um uh all right sorry i'm looking it up now as
we speak but it was it was like brand name characters
that were behind the bench of the What was even
the team? It wasn't the Monstars. Oh, no, they
were called... Oh, God. Yeah, right. Not the
Doom Squad. Oh, they were named after the kids'
video game, wasn't it? Space Jam. Maybe. I don't
even remember. I think Michael B. Jordan is the
second casting person that comes up when I search
it. Yeah, because they needed to get him in there.
The Goon Squad. Goon Squad, that's it. It's not
the Toon Squad, it's the Goon Squad. Get it.
I can't find a picture behind the bench, but
I do find a picture behind the tune squads bench.
See if I can see who's in this picture, but there's
like so many characters that you're just like,
I recognize, but it's such a cheap knockoff.
Yeah. Yep. And that's what always drove me nuts
about this whole thing was just, they have these
characters and everything like that. And obviously
they can't get. the actors back. Especially if
they were big name actors. Which I'm okay with.
I'm okay with that. They just look so awful.
You didn't like watching the Animaniacs sitting
there doing absolutely nothing? Absolutely nothing.
That was infuriating to me. They have all these
people that get sucked into the internet and
yet the people that they have right behind them
are the fakest of fake. That was my biggest talking
point about the movie um because it was just
so frustrating with that um the players themselves
fine anthony davis is the brow eagle thing was
pretty funny yeah i like that i did laugh at
that um i don't know man I didn't know that they
called LeBron James King James. That was a word
to me that you didn't know that. I didn't know
that. So when the, you know, algorithm was saying,
I was like, Andre, is he going to keep calling
him that the whole movie? And you're like, yeah,
that's what people call him. And I'm like, really?
Yeah. That's his nickname. Didn't know that.
Now I do. I hate it. Thanks. I would say. A,
this is totally random, but I never got over
the fact that that wasn't his real family. As
much as the movie focused on LeBron's family,
I know what they look like. We know what they
look like. That's not them. It's just weird.
I think the first spaceship did a good job of
like, okay, yes, it's not Michael Jordan's real
family or whatever, but they're not the focus
of the movie at all. Exactly. They're not the
point. Yeah. Like, we have his kid the entire
time, and it's not his kid. Right, right. And
I'm not saying, like, oh, they should have gotten
his real kid to do it. No, that's not the solution.
Although I will say that kid's part, I think,
could have been handled by LeBron James' kid.
Bronny Jr. could have probably handled that.
Could have acted that. Well, Bronny Jr. is too
old, right? Brian Jr. is the one in high school.
It would be what's the younger one? He still
would have been in camp. Yeah, that's true. You're
right. You're right. I think Brownie Jr. could
have been – I think he could have done it. I
really do. I know they were trying to make him
look younger probably to appeal to cartoons maybe.
That's the reason? Yeah. Okay. Maybe that's it.
But, I mean, Brownie Jr. could have probably
handled that role because he's had to act like
he's not in his father's shadow for however long.
Well, you know. Yeah. Well, so I brought this
point up to you guys before, and I just want
to bring it up again. Before this movie, obviously
I'm a Chicago guy. I love Chicago. I love everything
in Chicago. Michael Jordan is the GOAT because
I am biased. And I never have denied that. And
I don't think anybody would say that I have denied
that I'm biased about it. Yeah. Up until this
movie, I would say LeBron was the better actor.
Oh, man. Wow. Up until. Up until. Because he
was in Trainwreck, and yes, he was a smaller
part, but he was actually my favorite part of
Trainwreck, even though Trainwreck was a decent
movie. He had good comedic timing. I need to
see Trainwreck. Trainwreck's great. I have it
on DVD if you want to borrow it, really. Maybe
Bill Hader brought a lot out of him, I don't
know. Maybe, yeah. They worked really well together.
It was obvious to me, LeBron was the better actor
than MJ. Now? Yeah. It's a question again. It's
rough, man. It's a question again. The hardest
part was getting through all the voice acting
when it's Judy LeBron, when it's animated LeBron
and they're recruiting everybody. That was just
rough. I mean, I'm sorry. And, you know, voice
acting is hard. It's not the same. skill set
as acting, right? It's tough. Also, you can't
lay it at just the voice actor's feet. It could
be also the voice acting direction. We don't
know. We can also say this entire movie was not
as good as anybody expected it to be. And that
could be because of the direction. I don't know.
Do you think everyone was disappointed by this
movie? I know some people that had no expectations
of this movie and I don't think they were bent.
You know? I don't know. I want to go back to
the voice acting thing because I want to see
Zendaya as Lola. Oh, yeah. And this is not a
knock against Zendaya as an actress. I think
Zendaya is great. I love her personality. I like
her fashion sense. I think she is a great, great
talent to have. You want to see Zendaya in more
things. But, yeah, put Zendaya in more things.
I love her as Mary Jane. But she is not a voice
actress. And I, after we watched the movie, I
did some, you know, my classic IMDb. scooping
of the she voices lola just for yeah just for
reference zendaya voices lola i found out that
they actually had a actual voice actress do most
of lola's dialogue recorded because there's other
there's there's animated looney tunes shows going
on right now aren't there yeah uh maybe not right
now but there were okay they're in and out anyway
um they had a voice actress do all of most of
those vocal parts And then in post -production,
they brought in Zendaya and she dubbed all over
it. Interesting. Why? Yeah, interesting. Why
do that when they're not a trained voice actor
and it translates into a performance where I
just don't buy it? Yeah. Yeah. And again, we
know Zendaya is a great actress. Again, does
this come down to direction? You're exactly right
about that because we all want to see her in
more things. We all love her in, I would think
all of us agree, MJ, for sure. But there's other
things that we love her in. I haven't seen it
myself, but everybody tells me how great she
is in Euphoria. It makes me want to watch the
show because of how great I know she is in it.
Yeah. I also am looking at the cast. Gabriel
Iglesias. I love Gabriel Iglesias. Oh, man. He
was Speedy Gonzalez, wasn't he? He was Speedy
Gonzalez. Oh, wow. See, like, this film had good
voice actors who can do the performance, but
then the other... It's like, you know, why...
Imagine if Bugs Bunny was voiced by Ryan Reynolds.
Like, yeah, he can do a voice character. Ryan
Reynolds is a great Pikachu, but, like... He's
not Bugs. Also, by the way, I hated whoever voiced
Bugs. It wasn't right. I'm looking that up now.
Speedy Gonzales had like three lines in that
movie because I think they were worried about
him. Exactly, yes. Jeff Bergman. Jeff Bergman
was Bugs Bunny. Bunny Bunny. Bunny Bunny. Yes,
exactly. Bunny Bunny. And, I mean, yes, I agree
with you. It wasn't right. I would have rather
seen Gabriel Iglesias as Speedy Gonzalez than
Jeff Bergman as Bugs Bunny. Okay, but Jeff's...
Okay, I'm looking at this... He was a lot of
things. Well, he... Jeff Bergman was the first
person to replace Mel Blanc, so he's the second...
Bugs Bunny voices. Yeah, I know, but it's similar
to how whenever Jim Cummings steps down to Winnie
the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh is not going to sound
right to me. How many episodes have you seen
of the new Looney Tunes? None. How many have
you seen? None. Because reasons. I just want
to say, he also voiced Bugs Bunny in the first
Space Jam. He sounded different. Okay, Jill.
Alright, sure. you know what it's like it's it's
it's from all the years of watching muppet stuff
it's like i know when the voice actors are different
and even this your voice changes when you get
older so he's older it doesn't sound like bugs
oh okay but he all right sure I will say, I didn't
have as much of a problem with bugs, so I get
it. I like that he was appalled when they went
from 2D to CGI. Yeah, they didn't really explore
that part. It was kind of implied that the Looney
Tunes characters were in great pain to be in
CGI for the basketball game, and they didn't
really touch on that too much. It sure seems
like they got over it quickly, though. They did,
yeah. Exactly. I also didn't like the scoring
system where the scores were all over the place.
The style points? Yeah. I will say in the first
one, they didn't care about score. So it's not
like I'm comparing the two at all. It's just
more so I just don't care for style points. Style
points are so biased. That's why I don't watch
the slam dunk contest anymore. You know, because
it's just, I mean, it's all biased and everything
like that. But I'm getting distracted. We're
talking. Putting a fine -tooth comb to a shit
pile. And we're trying to find the corn nuggets
in it. Do you think they'll make another one
one day with the next great basketball guy or
woman? So I say no. But at the same time, it
would not shock me if Warner Brothers was just
like, well, this worked the first time. Let's
just bring it up again because we've got Cade
Cunningham. No, I don't think this movie is going
to. Like, did it make money? Like, it's hard
because it's COVID times. I will say, Space Jam,
the first one, is also not a good movie either,
you know? Like, it was made from a commercial.
It was based off of a commercial, you know what
I mean? Yeah, and it only could have been made
in 1990. It only could have come out in 1996,
and it's a wonderful time capsule of that year.
Yes, it is an artifact of its time. It aged like
cheese. good cheese I have no problem with the
original Space Jam I have no problem with the
original Space Jam either like I said Mitchell
is somewhere turning in his sick bed we already
put him in the grave Jesus Mitchell's dead somewhere.
Mitchell is not dead. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I really
do hope he listens to this episode. This is why
we need the Mitchell recap. We need to listen
to this episode and just be like, not dead. Still
here, guys. So, I guess it comes to review. Numbers.
1 .5. I don't know. What am I even missing? WB,
poorly rendered. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah,
because it's Warner Brothers the movie. I don't
know. Yeah. I probably would not have seen this
just in theaters because it was on HBO Max and
I had an afternoon. I watched it. Right. I was
going to ask you, would you have paid to see
this? No, I would not have. That's why you can't
be too bad at this movie. I didn't pay 13 bucks
for it. I would have either. watched it the way
I did or if it was just in theaters I would have
waited until it got on HBO Max and then finally
like cracked it open on a weekend where I was
just bored out of my mind sorry but that's I
had no interest in the sequel even I feel like
I'm shitting on LeBron I know I can respect LeBron
It's just the fact that this movie should not
have existed no matter who it was. If it was
Dwayne Wade, who I like better because he's a
Chicago kid, I still probably would have hated
this movie. Right. No, no, no. I mean, like,
I'm a fucking LeBron stan. I'm a Cleveland fan,
and I'll always stan LeBron for forever. But
I did not like this movie. It's also a 1 .5 for
me. 1 .25. I don't even know. I was bored. The
first one's better. Yeah. I'll give it a 1 point.
1 .4. I liked seeing the world like the Ralph
Breaks the Internet part where they basically
do the scene, the Disney scene, but universal.
That was cool with that. That was fine. I actually
would have preferred if that was more of the
movie. It was cool seeing all the properties
because, you know, hey, they got to remind you
they own Casablanca now. Maybe they always have.
But it was so distracting and some of the choices
like Pennywise being right there. Yeah. This
is a kid's movie. What the fuck? What is Pennywise
just hanging out? I guess he likes basketball.
Yeah, who is this movie for? Yeah, exactly. Who
is this movie for? Sports fans? Yeah. Classic
movie fans? Kids? So I compare this movie to
a heist movie where they're trying to get the
gang back together and, you know, it's the you
son of a bitch I'm in moment, but they didn't
have enough of the crew assembly. I think they
could have explored their worlds more, like where
they're like, oh, we're in the Wonder Woman world
more. Where Lola Bunny is competing to be an
Amazon. That was the longest part of those. But
still, I think they could have done a little
more with that. Versus the actual game. Because
we didn't care about the game. We knew they were
going to win. Yeah. So, well, that's one bad
movie. It was accidental that we talked about
two bad movies this time. But we have another
bad movie. Shout out to all the people that guessed.
I'll tell you who won after when we go to the
commercial. But Jill, you and I had an agreement.
Yeah, we did. If you lost, you were going to
have to see this movie. If I lost, I was going
to have to see Bratz. So obviously it worked
out back to back. Yeah. So tell us the movie
and your thoughts slash synopsis of it. So I
watched Speed 2 Cruise Control. Cruise Control.
Which was an interesting experience because I've
never seen the original Speed. All of my friends
who found out when I told them I was watching
this, they're like, you've seen Speed, right?
No? Don't you want to watch that one instead?
No, it's got to be this one. You can watch Speed.
I will watch Speed. It's going to happen. Yes,
because Speed is really good. I love the fact
that they go from a bus that has to drive this
many miles per hour to a train, right? Huh? Oh,
no. I now know that there's a train in Speed
1. I didn't know there was a train until recently.
It's been forever since I've seen this, so you're
blowing my mind. There's a subway. Oh, yeah.
But they go from the bus to a cruise ship? Yep.
Go on. Yeah, so I called upon two of my closest
grad school friends to watch this with me. So
we gathered on Discord and we just all clicked
play at the exact same time. My good friend Charlotte
and Catherine. Charlotte had never seen the original
Speed either. Catherine loves the original Speed.
So she was more than happy to throw some dirt
on this thing. And yeah, going in completely
blind, I knew Sandra Bullock was in it. I knew
there was a cruise ship and that was about it.
So, yeah, synopsis. Jason Patrick from The Lost
Boys, who plays Michael as the main character.
And it was equal parts like, oh, hey, it's Michael.
And, oh, he's old now. Yes. And not very good
in this. No. Sandra Bullock reprising her role.
from the original, we think. We had a debate
about is she supposed to be the same character
or is she supposed to be somebody different?
Do they not reference the first movie at all?
They kind of do, but they don't. Okay. They reference
the fact... So Catherine did a really quick and
dirty synopsis, and at one point or another in
Speed Control, in Speed 2, they made a joke about
how it's like, you know... two really good -looking
people falling for each other because they were
in intense circumstances. They made a joke that
kind of tongue -in -cheek referenced that, so
that's the reference to Speed 1. They may or
may not have name -dropped Keanu Reeves' character,
but since I didn't know what his character's
name, it doesn't matter. This movie is set in
the... Jack Traven. Yeah, she mentioned the name
Jack. I mean, the movie opens with her trying
to get her license, her driver's license, because
I guess it got revoked. And, you know, going
into this, it's Sandra Bullock. Like, okay, she's
like the main character. She's going to do cool
things. No. Her entire shtick in this movie is
kind of ranting and raving and being very obsessed
with, like, ignoring the problems going on so
she can have a romantic time with her main squeeze.
Jason Patrick, whose character is named something
that I did not care to write down. Oh, no, I
did write it down because it's a really stupid
name. Officer Alex Shaw. Alex Shaw. So we start
there. She's driving in a car. Poor driving instructor's
freaking out. She's raving and ranting about
something. Meanwhile, Alex Shaw is riding on
a red motorcycle that just made me want to watch
Power Rangers because it was color -coded. I
also really wanted Jason Statham to pop up and
just punch him in the face because that would
have been so much better. It's not. And, you
know, you get a nice action sequence where he's
chasing down a dude. He does the job. We think
he's a cop. Maybe he works for the FBI. We don't
know. All done in a day's work. Sandra fails
her driver's license. But it's okay. She's about
to go on a very romantic cruise. And Alex Shaw
is going to propose to her. But he needs to find
the right time. So they're getting on the boat,
all this fun stuff. And then the main villain
pops up, played by William Defoe. I'm like, what
the fuck? William Defoe's in this? Yeah. Willem?
William? Willem? No, it's Willem. I'm drunk on
water. Shut up. Willem Defoe pops up. I just
call him Defoe, Defoe. I found all the ways to
spell Defoe wrong in my little synopsis. Did
you ever see How I Met Your Mother? Which part?
There's a joke where Marshall talks about Willem
Dafoe and how his name sounds like a frog and
a parrot having a conversation. Willem. Nope,
have not heard that. I don't remember that joke.
Oh, it was so stupid. But for whatever reason
now, whenever I think of Willem Dafoe, that's
what I got. Sorry, keep going. Fun fact, Gary
Oldman turned down the role that Willem Dafoe.
takes on to be in Air Force One. That would have
been fun, too, though. Oh, my God. No offense
to Willem, but Gary Oldman also would have been
really good. I think either of them are pretty
good. And Willem Dafoe, no shock, is the best
character in this movie. His whole deal, as we
will later learn, is that he worked for the cruise
company. He was very loyal. He created an AI,
or not an AI, but he created the mainframe. the
the smart engine behind the machine if you will
and then he got sick from copper poisoning and
now he's terminal and he uses leashes to suck
out the copper from his blood because that's
not how that works so well before we get all
of that at the end of the movie me and my friends
are just trying to figure out what the deal is
with the leeches so we just decided that he worships
the leech queen and he's going to sacrifice all
the people on the boat to the leech queen Unfortunately,
that does not happen, but that would have been
such a better movie. You are blowing my mind
with all this. I have not seen this movie in
probably 10 years. I look at my watch. Wait,
10 years. Okay. Sorry. It's okay. You're not
missing much other than bad fashion and bad acting.
So they're on the boat. They meet Willem Dafoe's
character, Mr. Geiger. Yes. I don't remember
his first name, but it's Mr. Geiger. And there's
a joke about golfing. And then it turns out that
he like smuggled all of his like weaponry in
the golf clubs and the golf balls. So like the
golf balls are grenades and smoke bombs. I think
the clubs have other things in that. I'm like,
okay, that's pretty clever. I like that. Let's
take, let's, you know, grab that boat. Let's
do it all for the leech queen. We get some wonderful
hashtag hacking moments where he hacks into the
cruise's mainframe. And while he's doing that,
all the main characters now had a nice dinner.
If you've ever seen Doctor Who, Voyage of the
Damned, they had a lot of similar characters.
There's the fat couple. well the fat guy eating
um there's uh two p there's like a gaggle of
women bickering about stuff um there's two parents
with a deaf child who's actually played by an
actress a child actor who i think is deaf so
kudos to that except it gets a thumb down because
now there's a plot moppet in this movie of course
of course yeah um And in a in a move that my
friends and I were kind of split between, like,
is this cute, charming or creepy? Alex Shaw makes
eye contact with her over dinner. And, you know,
he does some ASL and she does some ASL back.
So I'm like, OK, that's kind of cute. But my
friend Charlotte's like, no, that's creepy. Why
is he talking like why? Why is he like smirking
at this 14 year old girl? This is weird. He's
about to propose to Sandra Bullock. Well, no,
it's like food poisoning or something. We missed
whether or not he actually got food poisoning
or if he lost the ring. Oh, my God. How does
Giuliano fit in this? You may get to this. Is
he the Scottish? He's not the Scottish. He is
Jango Fett. Yeah, I guess he is. He's one of
the crew members. Okay. He doesn't die. He's
definitely not the Scottish crew member. I only
remember the Scottish crew member because he
kind of made me think of James McAvoy, but not
nearly as good looking. So where am I in my notes?
So Willem Dafoe is getting the boat ready to
hijack it. he puts down he sneaks into the bridge
and he's like trying to pretend to be all drunk
and he's like slips and falls and like knocks
some buttons and then one another time he like
slips and falls and he like puts like a wi -fi
router underneath that we think is supposed to
be like a speaker so he can hear things and my
friend charlotte who's very big into tech and
she's like what's he gonna do with that like
get on the wi -fi and then we found out the technology
that they used for the devices the wi -fi router
it's not actually in the universe of wi -fi router
okay but they used a wi -fi router wi -fi router
okay yeah that would make do with what you got
at the radio shack um so uh willem dafoe throws
the captain overboard and now now the plot is
in action so he holds the boat hostage he hacks
into the mainframe he slows the engines of the
the boat down and he's pulling it off course
ever so slightly um so he makes his demands they're
very opaque um and gives everybody time to evacuate
the ship which leads to what felt like oh my
god 20 minutes but was really only like maybe
eight minutes of people trying to get off the
boat into lifeboats And it's just so unnecessary.
Such a stupid drama piece. It's like part of
the dinghy on one of the boats breaks. And then
Alex Shaw has to like grab it. And then he's
slipping. So Sandra Bullock's like, no, I also
have to save him. So she does one thing in this
movie so far. But it just takes on for so goddamn
long. You make me feel like she does single digit
things in this movie. yeah she's got one of the
things she does in this movie that's okay um
so that's happening there's something about diamonds
because of course there's diamonds on the boat
one in doubt is diamonds or it's bombs one in
doubt it's diamonds or it's bombs um before the
boat that everybody's starting to evacuate he
like like i said he hijacks the boat so he like
causes it to like slow down so A character says,
oh, my God, was that an earthquake when, like,
the boat, like, comes to an abrupt halt? You're
on water. If it was an earthquake, you'd be dead.
Well. No, because there'd be a tsunami. There'd
be a tidal wave. There'd be something, yeah.
Yeah. So the people who didn't evacuate get back
onto the boat and then Willem Dafoe puts it all
in lockdown. So a number of people get locked
behind like auto closing doors. The 14 year old
girl had gotten separated from her parents and
got stuck in an elevator. So she's in there for
a while. And the other thing that Sandra Bullock
does in this film is that she finds a chainsaw
and like cuts a hole in a door to get people
out of it. And then, of course, comedic timing.
She's, like, leaning in close to the chainsaw.
And because, like, smoke was coming into the
enclosed room, people, like, took off their clothes
to, like, hide, like, stop the doors. So she's
like, why don't you come out? And they're like,
put the chainsaw down. But it's whirling, so
she can't hear it. So you got, like, a who's
on first exchange for, like, two minutes. Why
do we have time for this? Wasn't that funny?
That's really the only awesome thing she does
in this entire movie. Let's see. Comments about
her bad acting. I don't think Sandra was trying
very hard for this movie. She got screwed in
this movie. Yes, she did. How do you mean? She
got conscripted. I think she just couldn't say
no. She wasn't as famous as Keanu. No, no. They
wanted to bring both of them back. keanu didn't
have a contract with the studio sandra got out
of another movie so she had a contract with the
studio so they were like okay you got out of
this one you have to do this one and this one
just so happened to be speed two got it and i
just wanted to be known uh the writer because
i just looked this up of the story because that's
what i was curious about um he has been the writer
for speed two titan ae oh no not titan ae blue
crush 2 okay 2 he likes his sequels scorpion
king 2 and scorpion king 3 i didn't even know
they made a 2 and 3 of scorpion king oh there's
5 i've talked about for the podcast i'm going
to watch all five of them and were they all like
direct to vhs or something uh the first one i
think got a theatrical release after that the
other four definitely yeah so shenanigans is
going on mr geiger's got the boat finally alex
shaw gets to the main to the bridge and nobody
actually has communicated that they're being
hijacked so like they think something is they
thought just something is happening and someone
one of the members of the remaining crew is like
he won't let us go and like alex says a double
take he's like what do you mean he and then the
whole plan comes out and it all it works so perfectly
that you know this dude is hijacking a boat to
do something with it we don't know yet and you
know this very grizzled manly fbi maybe cop man
is also on the boat so naturally they got a butt
heads right um willem defoe rants about the logistics
of ramming a high -tech machine into another
giant machine and how no one appreciates that
of course you know high -tech logistics and all
of that jack um and then at some point or another
the plan the the master plan reveals itself is
that he's going to ram a cruise ship into an
oil rig so to do this The motor is not really
going. It's just kind of naturally going that
way with, like, slow speed. So this movie is
false advertising, because there is no speed
in this. There's just ocean currents and, you
know, what, one or two knots or something. So,
lies. Big fat lies. Big fat lies. Yeah, so they
managed to turn the boat through stuff. I think
I'm missing, there's definitely stuff that I'm
forgetting about. Oh, at one point or another,
Alex Shaw gets locked in, like, the cruise's
mall, and they have a standoff with Willem Dafoe,
and, you know, dude runs away and unlocks him
in, and then there's fire and a grenade holding
the door closed to Sandra, and... maybe one of
the cruise dudes named Dante, I think it's Dante,
they have to get, like, the pin out, so it's,
like, this very tense, in air quotes, tense moment
of them, like, taking the pin and opening the
door, and then she falls backwards, and she's
still holding the grenade, and then throwing
the grenade. It's like, oh my god, is this movie
over yet? No. No, it's not. So at the end of
that set piece, and what feels like 100 000 hours
it's daytime now um and they realize that they're
hitting going to an oil rig so they need to turn
the boat so they managed to trick the system
into giving them control back essentially and
yay they're not gonna hit the oil rig anymore
they're gonna hit an island now with people in
it oh no this is the part of the movie where
my friend charlotte was just wishing people died
can they just die i want them all to be dead
this movie would be over or more interesting
um she also said i'm proud of you that you got
people to watch this movie it's a feat i'm happy
you did because i didn't have to watch it yeah
so however all the characters are freaking out
meanwhile i'm just wishing like the megalodon
or godzilla showed up because that would be fucking
cool um so now they need to stop the boat Yes.
But now it's finally picking up speed because
something happened there. So my favorite sea
hand guy, the Scottish dude in the bridge, his
job in this movie is mostly been just telling
Alishaw he can't do the things he's doing and
that Alex just does them anyway. Okay. Or in
the second half of the film, it's reading the
speedometer and talking about how fast the boat
is going or not going. The speed. The speed of
the boat. Yes. So they drop the anchor. There's
a tense moment where Alice gets stuck underwater,
but they manage to pull him up. So the boat is
going into the harbor, a la the way that, like,
in the Megalodon, the Meg is, like, going into
the harbor and killing people. Yeah. But not
nearly as exciting. And, you know, people are,
like, staring at it and not getting out of the
way of a cruise ship. That's not actually a cruise
ship. It's more like a super yacht. Let's take
a moment to appreciate this. This is not a cruise
ship. This is a fucking super yacht. People are
not getting out of the way of it, so boats get
smashed. People are like, oh, no, what is that
saying? Maybe I should move. And, you know, the
sky issue is like, oh, we're not slowing down.
We're not slowing down. We're going this amount
of speed. And then, you know, the boat hits land,
because that will happen when you hit an island.
But it keeps... going yeah so it goes down like
half a city block and like scottish guy falls
on the ground and he's like one mile per hour
1 .0 .5 miles per hour and the boat finally stops
after it hits a hotel it's like we stopped oh
my is that the end of the movie no so What I
failed to mention is that during this very exciting
climatic moment, Willem Dafoe had kidnapped Sandra
Bullock to make her his damsel in distress because
naturally that had to happen. So they're getting
away on like a speedboat, but it's like a speedboat
that has like a sidecar speedboat next to it.
And he put her on the one that has the controls
to release the sidecar. And he didn't tie her
hands down secure enough to stop her from releasing
the sidecar. So there's a moment, Terry chase
scene. It's not really a chase scene because
let's be real here. Her character doesn't know
what the fuck is going on. Then there's a sea
plane. And this is when the, finally we get into
the last act of the movie. So Alex Shaw is like
racing to get there. So he jumps into a Caribbean
man's boat. Who's on a date with a lady. It's
not great when the few, few people of color in
this film are there to either exposit like action
things like he's slowing down. He's picking up
speed. He's not doing this thing or being a bad
caricature of a Caribbean individual. Yeah. So
that sucks. And that's probably the Caribbean
couple as a whole right there. Yeah, that's the
Caribbean couple of the whole. The only other
character of color is Dante, our cruise man who
takes photos. Dante's cool. and that's cool all
right so you get you know you get the the i don't
know why the seaplane takes so long to get off
the air so like saunders trying to get out and
like slapping around and you know if he really
thought this through he would have just let her
go because then alex wouldn't chase after him
and then he could just get away but i guess drama
um so no shocker there Willem Dafoe does not
really get away. So he gets out of the airplane.
He loses his backpack of diamonds. So yay, they're
saved. And while he thinks he's clear, he realizes
he's not getting enough air and he's going to
hit the oil rig. And he slams into it, starts
laughing maniacally, and then the rig goes boom.
Hopefully they evacuated people from that rig.
I don't think they did. Probably not. It doesn't
sound right. And this is at the point where we
decided this was the origin story for the Green
Gop. Fair. So the day is saved. Sondra is saved.
They're posed. The movie ends with her getting
back to her trying to get her license again.
And you think maybe she can drive now because,
you know, she hasn't driven anything in this
movie. maybe she got the confidence back yeah
no she she still can't drive she still can't
drive this movie sucked um so i looked up dante
just because i was curious dante is now a writer
for a million little things good for dante actor
i know i'm actually i'm really excited because
like i saw his credits for acting His credits
for acting are nothing special. Like Speed 2
is in the top four. So I was like, oh no, he's
one of those guys. And he doesn't have his picture
on the IMV. So I was like, oh no, he's one of
those guys that just got like put in the background.
No, he's a writer for a million little things.
So I'm actually happy for him. You know, it's
not as good as This Is Us, but it's good enough.
This movie was, like I said, it was boring. It
was not good. What was probably the most bizarre
was that sometimes like their random comedic
moments so like when the boat is smashing into
the island when it comes to a halt it's like
bow or stern i don't know both the front of it
which has like a long protruding part it's a
bell and the bell like nice little ring so it's
like you know yeah isn't that cute um you know
the scene with the chainsaw yeah that uh This
movie is weird and it's horribly paced and it's
way too long. It's over two hours. Jeez. Yeah.
Two hours and four minutes. And Charlotte, I
think asked seven times how much more of this
movie is left. And it was like, we're only 45
minutes in. We're only 52 minutes in. We're only
an hour and 23 minutes in. So the director of
this movie, he has one writing credit. And that
one writing credit is speed too. Because he has
directed things such as Speed. He directed Speed.
He directed Speed 2. He directed Tomb Raider,
Cradle of Life, and one more that I'm missing.
Shoot, I can't. But basically, the point was,
this is the only thing he's ever written. Yeah.
And it is apparent. Yes, it is very apparent.
And what really sucks is that... Oh, he directed
Twister. That's it, Twister. I haven't actually
seen Twister, but don't some people like Twister?
Yeah, Twister is a good movie. Twister's fine.
He did Speed, Twister, Speed 2, The Haunting,
and then Tomb Raider Cradle of Life. So what
I was going to say is that what really sucks
about this movie, besides the fact that it's
just bad, is that it's written in the 90s. So
there is nothing in this movie for me as a woman.
There's not like I mean, yes, there's some female
fan service with how hot Jason Patrick is. Why
do you think I put it up for the movie that you
had to watch? But like, yeah, no, exactly. You
get it. But like, it's just so frustrating watching
an action film where, yeah, it's got Sandra Bullock
and top billing, but she does fucking nothing.
And her character is number one now. Yeah. She
would never do a role like this. Never. Ever.
you know now but you know it's 19 they filmed
this in 1986 it came out in 1997 so the concept
of having your main female lady be screaming
crying raving ranting being just a general weirdo
of course that makes sense and we were all agreeing
that like thank god it's sandra bullock because
she's so likable that she makes her character
bearable but there are times where she's absolutely
at least to me it seems like she's phoning it
in like the character can't hide yeah the character
is awful and she definitely phoned in some of
it which i don't blame her for in any way shape
or form so this is not a shot at sandra bullock
because at the end of the day this character
is awful yeah This movie did not age well, and
it wasn't good when it came out. She did get
$11 .5 million for her role in this, according
to IMDb. So she made bank for this. As I've always
relayed to Michael Caine, I have not seen the
movie, but I have seen the house it bought, and
it is spectacular. oh my god why didn't they
so i'm looking at other actors they would have
cast as the main character as alex shaw christian
slater matthew mcconaughey yeah okay i think
mcconaughey would have been like all ham and
i think willem dafoe really is the only actor
who really understood this is just koki and let's
just have the assignment Leeches! We were joking
that, like, he just brought them to set one day,
and they're like, no, Willem, we don't need those
as props, but you do you, boo -boo. Get in that
bathtub with them Leeches. If that's what you
feel, that's what you feel. Yeah, so. Yeah. Final
ranking is, ugh, a 0 .9 Leech Queen. Ooh, 0 .9,
Jesus. Or, you know, 0 .9 I Wish the Meg Ate
Them All. So you keep referring to the Meg. I
love the Meg. I know. Well, it just made me realize
how much of a Jason Statham fan you are now.
I mean, now, yeah. Like, I've never actually
seen Crank, but, like, I enjoy the Meg. I enjoy
him as Deckard Shaw. Yeah. Yeah, he's Deckard
Shaw. Yeah, Deckard Shaw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've
seen him in other things, I think. I've never.
imagined you as a Jason Statham -like stan as
hard as you are. I'm a late -to -the -game Statham
fan. Like, I don't know if I can really be considered
a... Oh, he's in Spy, and he's really funny in
that. This is... No, this is good enough. Like,
I'm not... Like, this is really... Like, I can't
believe how much of a fan you are. Yeah, because
he... Because, you know, he is similar to The
Rock in the sense... Not, like, physicality or
anything like that. But in, like, he just has...
Excellent comedic timing. Okay. Sure. No, it's
the Tim Curry effect. It doesn't matter what
the thing is. If this actor is in it, they will
be good. So that's my thing about Tim Curry.
Have you seen The Transporters? No. Oh, we got
to fix that. He's in The Italian Job. I liked
that. The Italian Job was excellent. So what
I'm saying with the Tim Curry effect is that
in the 90s and early 2000s, Tim Curry was in
a lot of things. A lot of them are not good,
but Tim Curry is very good. So even if it's bad.
Tim Curry always understood the assignment. It's
the Tim Curry effect. Yes. So Jason Statham is
the same deal. It doesn't matter if it's good
or bad. If Jason Statham is in it, I'll at least
enjoy him. I'm shocked how much of a Jason Statham
Stan you are. And that's not a bad thing at all.
I guess I am. Yeah, I call him Jason. Yeah. Go
see the Transporter series because you'll really
enjoy it. He's at his best with that. We'll work
on that. Yeah, he's really at his best with that.
At the Italian job, because the Italian job's
awesome. Yeah, no, I liked him in Italian. You
know, like I said, he's excellent in comedic
timing. He's got a great... He knows his body.
He's got great sense of movement. Yep. So it's
not like, you know, you see one Jason Statham
movie, you see them all. Right. He's always doing
something... It's always an entertaining performance.
Interesting. I did not see this going that way,
but I'm here for it. I really am. And the Meg
is just... hilariously fun movie nice nice all
right well we gotta take a quick break but we're
going to give a shout out first to the people
that got the hints so i posted hints on twitter
uh three hints you had to guess what the movie
was uh apparently i went too easy on this one
because shoot the flick got it on the first hint
what was the hand i missed this i put i'm on
a boat a gif of i'm on a boat Maybe they remembered
the conversation because we had this conversation
pretty publicly. Which is true, too. We actually
talked about it in our last episode. So it's
very possible they paid attention to it and just
knew that was the thing. But I honestly think
it's Frankie and Scott. They're awesome. They
know movies pretty well. So I would not be shocked
if they just saw a boat and said, it's got to
be Speed 2. So they got it. And then we're giving
a special shout out to our friends at Open Shutters.
The reason we're giving them a special shout
out is they're starting a movie part of their
stuff as well. They are awesome as well. Love
them to death. So shoot the flick. Open Shutters.
This is for you. Both of your promos going now.
Hey there, this is Frankie Sparks. And this is
Scott Eisenberg. We're married. And we have a
podcast called Shoot the Flick. Every week, Scott
and I introduce each other to a new movie the
other one has never seen. We talk about it, give
our thoughts on it, and also share some behind
-the -scenes fun facts. We want you guys to come
along and enjoy the movies with us. Check us
out on Instagram and Twitter at Shoot the Flick
and check out our weekly episodes every single
Wednesday on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts,
iHeartRadio, and pretty much anywhere else you
can find a podcast. Come and listen to us now
as Frankie and I shoot the flick. Scary ghosts.
Creepy serial killers. Horrible horoscopes. All
things that go bump in the night. Open Shutters
is a creepy podcast guaranteed to make your skin
crawl. Join Barry Marino and Phillip Landry as
they take you on a hair -raising journey recorded
in the most haunted city in America, New Orleans.
Available on Anchor, Spotify, Apple, Google,
and wherever podcasts can be found. Enjoy the
view from the open shutters. But don't fall out
the window. That was from our friends at Open
Shutters and at Shoot the Flick. Check them out
on Twitter, Facebook, everything like that. As
well as check out their shows after us, of course.
They're on iTunes or... Good Pods, which is the
new app, which everybody should check out because
there's an indie -only feature, which I absolutely
love. I do absolutely love that. It's kind of
fun to see where you rank in indie pods because
you actually get on a top 100 list and you feel
kind of like, yay, that's us. Aw. Yeah. So it's
good. Check out Good Pods app. This did not become
an ad for them, but it kind of is, I guess. um
so that brings us to our favorite section or
at least mine that's what i'll always say because
it's my favorite section uh hashtag cash or trash
we talk about things that are streaming or on
the internet or anywhere you can get it wherever
you can get it give a quick synopsis and just
say if it's hashtag cash or hashtag trash so
andre you were going to get us started sure uh
so uh recently i started subscribing to CollegeHumor's
own streaming service called Dropout. Do you
guys remember CollegeHumor? Those YouTube videos
back in the day? So they've been putting up all
these clips from this. They have various shows
on Dropout. The one I've been liking the most
is called Game Changer. And the whole conceit
of the game is that it's basically an improv
comedy show in the shell of a game show. So it's
usually three contestants that show up and the
rules change every single episode. Is that the
guy that has to sell the all P's keyboard? Yes.
Yes. Yes. Oh yes. That is a clip from that show.
So they've done the very smart thing of basically
uploading clips of it to all the socials and
stuff like that. And I was like, all right, this
is funny. I need to check this out. And yeah.
So it was funny enough for me to kick them a
few bucks to watch. I think I've burned through
all three seasons at this point. That's great.
So just really funny stuff. If you see any clips
on YouTube, yeah, it's all good. So Game Changer,
definitely. The LP keyboard got me. The LP keyboard.
How would you say this to a friend? oh man that
is also horrible audio so i'm gonna probably
edit that out because that was just me popping
peas in front of my microphone i would say my
favorite game favorite episode so far is where
they all where the host proposes like some sort
of awful uh stunt thing on them and they have
to bet points so they're like how many points
would you be willing for us to pluck a nose hair
from you and it's a race to the bottom no you
know it sounds gross but it's it was hilarious
i don't know favorite favorite so far nice so
very good yeah i was just gonna say let me guess
hashtag cash there it is yes uh so the thing
i've got um i actually bought both of them they're
going to come to hbo max eventually i'm sure
uh the long halloween part one and part two so
it's a dc animated movie about batman oh that's
what that is Yes, it's Batman. The Holiday Killer
is killing members of the Falcone and Maroney
family. That was the only thing that I was confused
about was the different families. But other than
that, the Holiday Killer, basically Commissioner
Gordon, Batman, and of course Harvey Dent have
to figure out who the Holiday Killer is. Jensen
Ackles plays Batman. Jensen? Yes, he plays Batman.
Oh, I'm so happy Dean's got a job. I was wondering
what he was... He's going to be in the next season
of The Boys. Yeah, he's like the Captain America
proto -dude. Yeah. So I was wondering how he
was going to do as Batman. Just because when
I hear Dean, I don't really hear Batman. Yeah.
I loved him as Red Hood. I do. I was wondering
how he was going to be Batman. He's actually
pretty good, but mostly because... batman does
not say much he's quiet batman it is very villain
heavy as well as it focuses a lot on harvey dent
you can probably guess where the story is going
not exactly i will say that and it was an excellent
uh detective noir Who is the holiday killer?
You have obvious suspects. You have less obvious
suspects. You have no suspects at all, but you're
still kind of questioning. And especially at
the end of part one, I actually take credit in
the fact that I did know who was the killer.
But at the end of part one, I was definitely
questioning myself going, oh, maybe not, you
know, that kind of stuff. And I did not read
the comic series. um i do have it next up in
line to read but uh i wanted to watch this first
when i knew it was coming out and then go back
to it um it was excellent like it was really
well done i have um part one is definitely five
out of five for me part two i've got like 4 .75
out of five for me like it wasn't as good but
it's still excellent i highly recommend it long
halloween part one and part two well worth it.
I paid money for it. I would almost suggest paying
money for it. If you're not as interested as
I am because, you know, nerd, you can wait until
it goes on HBO Max and not have to pay any more
to watch it because it will be there eventually.
But I could not wait. I was very excited about
it. I was like, I need to check this out. It
did have me intrigued by Jensen Ackles. Harvey
Dent is Josh Duhamel. Catwoman is Naya Rivera.
Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't she the Glee actress
who passed away? Is she? Wait, no, I don't know.
Okay, yeah, maybe. That wouldn't surprise me,
actually. Yeah, you're right. Holy shit. Wow.
Well, she got this one in. Yeah, this one's been
sitting for a while. So it makes sense that she
might have died after. Yeah. So she never saw
it. Wow. I didn't even put two and two together
with that. Well, she's excellent in it still.
Sorry to bring the mood down. No, no, you're
good. I mean, she's excellent as Catwoman. So
really the cast is phenomenal. Like I said, I'm
going to talk way too long about this because
you guys asked for this. I want to get who else.
Troy Baker is Joker, which has always been great.
That makes sense, I guess. Is this a younger
Joker like he was in Arkham? I will say what
I like about this. Joker is not a big part of
this. Sure. So don't take this as like, oh, Joker's
in it. Joker's going to be a big part of this.
He's not. He really isn't. David Dashmalchian,
the guy who was Polka Dot Man for the Suicide
Squad. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's Calendar Man.
Oh, okay. Jack Quaid is Alberto Falcone. Jack
Quaid is in The Boys. He's the main character
of The Boys. And then who am I missing? There's
another big name. John DiMaggio. ah john dimaggio
is the mad hatter in this as well and he's just
a part of part two wasn't john dimaggio didn't
he do um wasn't he the joker in under the red
hood uh yes yes also true yes he was also the
joker and death in the family which is not as
good right i thought he was i thought it was
good in that uh he was good in under the red
hood and he he was good in um Death in the Family,
don't get me wrong either, but it was just Death
in the Family was not what I wanted it to be.
Right, right. But Under the Red Hood and Long
Halloween, both of them are very high on my DC
animated list. DC animated, especially Batman,
all high on my list. I've been watching a lot
of Suicide Squad as well. Had to notice. Yeah,
right. Did you actually give me a reading? Cash.
Cash, cash, cash, cash, cash. Just to cover our
bases there. I paid real cash for this. It is
cash. True cash. So for my entry, I'm putting
forth the new Disney Plus series, What If? As
of a couple hours ago, we have seen the two episodes
that are out. I don't want to talk about the
second one because that is definitely the better
of the two. that one a lot of people are more
are going to have more fun with the first one
is what if uh peggy carter got the superhero
soldier serum instead of steve and i had there
were a lot of things that i liked about it i
as i was telling andre after we watched it i
really liked the fact that they made sure peggy
moved very differently than the way that uh steve
rogers fights to their own unique fight style
it's not like you know they just put her body
over his movements right really really appreciated
that but the issues that we both had was that
they didn't really do anything unique with it
other than what if peggy was let's do it he was
captain captain carter yeah same movie exactly
okay so very similar yeah captain carter is actually
captain carter yeah Yeah, so they followed a
lot of plot beats of the first Avenger. Right,
like, it just did not feel like I was watching
anything meaningfully different besides, oh,
it's Peggy that's a super soldier now. Which
we can all say, like, Captain America the first
Avenger wasn't the strongest Marvel movie. I
like that movie. There's some Avengers, yeah.
Definitely my favorite phase one film. Okay.
Favorite over original Avengers. I really like
the way that the original The First Avenger is
shot. Iron Man? No. I really like the aesthetic
of The First Avenger. Well, all this is to say,
you like that movie so much, yet this What If
episode... Well, that's because it's the same
movie. And these are not movie -long episodes.
They're 30, 35 minutes. I thought that they would
do something a little more unique than just kind
of follow the same shades of it. There was a
part where I thought they were setting up a new
twist on the Winter Soldier and that went nowhere.
Then, you know, from a plot perspective, they
did a lot of things that never had consequences
for the changes in the timeline. So, you know,
slight spoiler here. So they're following the
plots of the first Avenger. Peggy becomes Captain
Carter. They get a hold of the Tesseract. They
get it. okay um so like what does that mean in
the greater scheme of things like they have the
temper act so they can harness that power so
what is this going to mean for like tony um in
the far future we don't know well we're not supposed
to know and that's not i mean yeah i know but
you know don't don't do it do we not know because
go there yeah well do we not know because like
it's not going to actually be covered or is it
going to come back in the end we don't know if
it's going to come back in the end I think they're
all isolated stories the way that the Captain
Carter ends is that she still go instead of going
into the ice she goes into another dimension
so it's still she's gone for 70 years and then
comes back But that's it. That's literally where
it ends. It ends the same way. You can have the
first Avenger. Her being like, oh, we won the
war and then face back. And I think a part of
it, sorry to talk over you, but I think part
of the reason why the episode went the way it
went is that it's World War II. We were going
to lose the war. We weren't going to do that.
I mean, there are other ways it could go. Yeah.
But there's really only one way to go. All this
is to say is that the second episode, which is,
can we give the high concept of it at least?
Yeah. It's what if T 'Challa, aka Black Panther,
was Star -Lord? Yeah, I mean, that's covered
in the trailer. Right, right. And they did, it
is not just, hey, you know, it's Black Panther
in Guardians of the Galaxy. You know what I mean?
Like, they did a significantly different plot.
And that alone is the... way made it way way
way way way better it's definitely more interesting
so but it's not like i need to see where it goes
they're fun little outside stories you know they're
not going to meet and they're not going to affect
anything in the greater universe my head canon
is that spoilers for loki if you haven't seen
it yet at the end of loki he who remained they
killed a big bad which unleashes kang the conqueror
because now multiverses and multi -dimensions
are a thing in variance So my headcanon is the
timing of the What If series corresponds with
that because the Watcher is now watching all
of these multiverses come alive because they
can be alive. But, you know, right now it's not
cash, but it's not trash. It's just kind of there.
And I need to see what the next couple episodes
are like before I really can make... make a judgment
on it. But if you're already bought into the
Marvel Universe, I think it's worth watching,
especially the second episode. Chadwick Boseman
did return before he untimely died to voice T
'Challa, so it's really great having that one
last ride with him. Right. And he's a very different
character in this than he is in Black Panther,
so it's cool seeing a... And he's not Peter Quill
either. He's not that personality. He is his
own unique person. There is no mixtape. No, and
I appreciated that, that they didn't put in the
music because that's a Peter Quill thing. I'm
also very disappointed that you did not say your
favorite Phase 1 movie was The Incredible Hulk.
I've never actually seen that one. I've only
seen the Idle Hulk film. Oh, okay. Don't waste
it. The Incredible War Hulk is the Norton one,
right? Yes. I've seen the other one. Yes. Eric
Bana. Yeah, I was like, who was his name? Dang
it. It's also the birth of, well, not really
the birth of, but the most memorable before it
became a thing, Stan Lee cameo. Oh, what's his
cameo in that one? Him and Lou Ferrigno are security
guards. Lou Ferrigno? Yes, they have the Hulk
and Stan Lee. I love a Lou sighting. Yeah. Yeah,
you want to watch Avengers Grimm? No. Lou Ferrigno.
I mean, I know you already talked about it. Yeah,
we already talked about it in the show, but yeah.
Go back and watch that episode if you're curious.
Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I usually promote this show.
You did a better job than me. So ultimately,
it's not cash. It's not quite trash. It's just
itself. It's something that rhymes with cash
or trash in the middle. It's frash. I don't know.
That's not... Bash? Isn't that the... I can't
remember his name now. The big bad of... Legacy
of the Space Jam. Isn't that his character's
name in Ocean's Eleven? Oh, yeah. Don Shields.
What is his name? Don Shields. Yeah, it's Bash.
Because he's Basher. Yeah, Basher. Basher. Yeah,
yeah. Oh, my God. Didn't he have to, like, fake,
like, a British accent? Yeah, he had a Cockney
accent right there. It was awful. I think it
was on purpose, though. I think the best thing
he did in that movie was his pretending to be
British to pretending to be American. in the
oceans 13 oh i have seen that one i haven't seen
12 my friend says ignore 12 completely um 12
is fine if you imagine it as part of a different
series like don't go in basher tar that's his
name basher um don't go in and be like oh this
is the ocean series now oceans 12 is its own
thing pretty much and you can enjoy it as its
own thing so yeah all in all long story short
on the Excuse me. Marvel What If is if you're
already bought into the Marvel Universe, give
it a shot. If you are new to the Marvel Universe,
I don't know what this is going to make you.
Yeah, if WandaVision... If WandaVision was the
first Marvel property you've watched, maybe you've
seen the other shows. What if the whole entire
thing, and something that's kind of annoying
about the show, is that they just kind of like,
oh, hey, we made this cute reference to this
other movie. Wink. I feel like there's so many
moments in both episodes that the characters
might have all just looked at the screen and
winked. Like, ah, remember that? Ah, wink. Yeah,
this is no longer that thing, Wink. It's just,
oh, it's very self -referential. I mean, yes,
it is by its very nature, but, you know. There's
some fun visual payoffs, though, if you come
to it. So I haven't seen the first one, and obviously
the second one came out today. I'm on my way
to watch it soon -ish. I don't know when exactly,
because I'm on 12 -hour days next week. Yay!
But I will watch it eventually. I'm intrigued
to see what I think of it. Because I think I
feel very much like you guys usually do about
it. But we'll see. We'll see. My dad watched
Loki. It's the only Marvel property he has engaged
with. So he actually asked me about the what
ifs. And I'm like, if you didn't care about Loki,
you're going to care even less about these. I
would like to see your dad's opinion. On the
Marvel movies. No, on the Marvel movies. No interest.
I want him to watch. If we can convince him.
He can come on the show regularly. Say the last
Marvel movie he saw. I'm in for that. The only
Marvel movie that I think I can get him to sit
down to watch is two. Winter Soldier and Ragnarok.
Because Ragnarok is the hard sci -fi that he
just likes. I still am in. If you can get him
to watch any of the Marvel movies, have him as
a guest. Bad idea. You're going to regret those
words. All right. Well, I'm still intrigued,
but it's fun. So, well, that's our Cash or Trash.
If you have anything that you think is Cash or
Trash, let us know. As well as let us know what
bad movies we should watch next. We're out of
our bet now, so we might have to put more bad
movies on the line. We'll see. Or we can just
listen to you guys, the audience. You guys have
suggestions as well. A lot of people commented
on my first GIF post of the boat and said that
the bad movie we're watching is Titanic. Damn.
That's a take. Yeah. I don't care for Titanic
myself, but I also understand why it's a good
movie. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. But if you've
got bad movies for us, we're happy to listen
and put Andre, maybe you're next, maybe Mitchell's
next, maybe it's Jill or I again. We'll see what
happens. So for myself, Mike Butanik, I have
been joined by Andre. Jill. We'll see you next
time on Game for a Movie where we ask, are you
game for a movie? Bye. Bye.