you know what that sound means it's another episode
of game for a movie where we ask are you game
for a movie i am your host mike b tank i am joined
by jill andre mitchell yes mitchell we got you
back i know good to be back man i got some sushi
i got some allagash white um just going into
the living room right now after a long day and
what better way to end a long day than to be
on a podcast with you three it's gonna be so
much fun a podcast yeah it's uh it's really funny
kelly um and i went to california and um visiting
the family and all that which is great and what
i have found is that kelly who is from massachusetts
sometimes lets the boston accent slip out just
casually and she doesn't even notice it and it
sounds it's like you know a dog whistle to the
rest of us. Oh my God. She was talking about
how her dad used to bring like lobsters, like
he used to fish for lobsters and bring them out
on his wagon. And the way she said wagon was
this, oh my fucking God, that was amazing. It's
crazy how I'm in love with this woman. And the
accent to me just sounded really charming with
her. but probably repulsive coming out of anyone
else's mouth this actually this is a very random
question but it's something in my friend's chat
that's going on right now how do you pronounce
sorbet or sherbert or if you're my pennsylvania
grandma sure bit well okay you just you blow
up the spot there right there right it's sherbert
that's why i've always called it sherbert i've
called it sherbert i literally i i feel like
I call it Sherbert unless I make out a place
that's fancy and then I feel pressure to say
sorbet. You know what I'm saying? Well, that's
like when we were at Epcot and they called your
name there like Belanger. Yeah, yeah. I was like,
no, it's Belanger. That's still the best when
I had Siri texting you and it's just like Andre
Belanger. For the record, I pronounce it as sorbet
no matter how it's spelled. Really? Sometimes
I pull my grandma and I'm like, I like some sherbet.
Sherbet, sherbet. Okay. It's charming though.
Well, you jumped ahead and you told us that you're
drinking Allagash White. The drinks here. just
twisted it and that definitely picked up on the
microphone. Yeah. So you, you can go first. I'm
drinking an alter ego from Treehouse. Yes. It
is an all Treehouse episode besides Mitchell's
Allagash. I went to Treehouse a couple of weeks
ago and still have some. I have the very green,
very green. I had a G -Bot from Nebco. Yes, that's
a Nepco. New England Brewing Company at dinner
earlier. So there is my beer for the day. Nice.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, that's what we're drinking.
It is, yeah, beer. Well, I'm happy. I mean, there's
nothing more relaxing after a long, hot summer
day. You know, not in summer. I'm cracking open
a nice crisp, cold beer. Yes, it feels like summer.
We're in a heat wave right now. Yeah, so a nice
cold one. Yeah. Yeah. This is why we start every
episode with a beer cracking. I guess we'll jump
into movies then. Yeah. Yeah. So it is a weird
week for me. I have watched like 20 movies this
week. Okay. But none of them are recent. Okay.
But that hasn't stopped us before. I know. But
for me, I like to do recent stuff. That's what
I like to do. I could. Talk right now about boondock
saints, which I watched the other day, which
holds up as well as the part. Okay. It is still
a good movie, but there are a lot of things that
no longer would fly. But I still love it. I almost
said a glorious bastards. I'm comparing the two.
I felt like boondock saints. But so today I cranked
out another movie and it's from 2020. It is called
kid detective. And it features one of my favorite
actors lately, which is weird because when you
hear the name, you're going to immediately think
of one thing he was in. It's Adam Brody. Yep.
Oh, you mean the guy from that two seasons of
Gilmore Girls? Oh, well, that's not the thing.
Dave Rogowski. That's not the thing I was thinking.
No, I know what you're thinking. Gilmore Girls
alum. Good old Dave, he read the Bible. to impress
Lane Kim's mom. Okay. Well, I was thinking the
OC. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Okay.
Do I look like someone who watched the OC? I
mean, I wouldn't have been surprised, I guess.
I don't know. No. I definitely wasn't somebody
who watched the OC. Surprisingly good. Surprisingly
good, the OC. Is that the one with the girl?
like the famous meme of the girl like one single
tear coming down or well that's what it was that's
the the image and heat song right or whatever
it's a very finale like yeah yeah that was season
two when that iconic moment happens yes i'm not
a diehard i've seen most of the episodes only
once gotcha i did not finish it was the uh the
intro song wasn't it phantom planet california
california here we go yeah yeah yeah okay got
it okay enough talking about the oc cast yes
that stands for orange county oh boy it's working
i'm broken i am a broken man um so what really
i was going to say is adam brody lately his choices
in movies has been pretty great um because he
was in ready or not and that was that was fantastic
i didn't even recognize him right because it
had been a while yeah and there he was and like
that was really familiar and then the credits
was i'm like oh so this is kid detective basically
it's the story of a kid or a now adult who used
to be a kid detective that was like really good
at it like solved all these cases he got free
ice cream for life he got the key to the city
And now he's a 32 year old detective that can't
live up to the glory days. He still gets cases
like find my missing cat, you know, that kind
of stuff. But some kid has been murdered and
her or his girlfriend recruits Anna Brody's character,
which is Abe Applebaum. Okay, you have to have
the alliteration. Yes, Abe Applebaum. Abraham,
is that short for... I mean, I'm guessing Abraham,
they call him Abe the whole time. Abraham Applebaum.
Yeah. That's a name. Yeah, so... I need to write
that on a name tag. Sounds like it goes to Hogwarts.
Right? But they had to have that alliteration.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the kids, the murdered kid's
girlfriend recruits Abe to solve the case. And
this gets dark. Like, it is a black comedy, don't
get me wrong, but it is a... dark black comedy
like it is very dark um anybody have any interest
in this movie because i otherwise i'm going to
spoil it i think i think you're free reign to
spoil the shit out of it i just want to know
where i can find it it is on hulu okay yeah i'm
gonna say this mike this sounds and i'll get
to it at the end of your um of your take on this
film this premise sounds very very familiar but
in a dark twist way compared to a very early
Donald Glover movie called Mystery Team. Yeah,
I knew that was going to bring up Mystery Team.
It's very similar. Yeah, I'm getting the same
vibe. Yeah, no, Mystery Team is very similar
in that aspect. So basically, it takes you down
the long road to find out who killed this kid.
There's also another case that kind of is like
over the shoulder of Abe. This girl went missing.
and he put like the entire town on his shoulders
to try to figure out where this girl went um
so like those cases are kind of just like sitting
in his head and like he's kind of a screw -up
at this point you know and he's like a kid at
heart still where he like relives the glory days
he still goes to the ice cream shop every day
because he has lifetime supply of ice cream oh
nice yeah Yeah, well, the ice cream shop owner
is like resentful of him, you know, like that
kind of stuff. He obviously gave him lifetime
free supply. But one of the things that worked
for him as a kid detective is when he would like
break into houses to like kind of like peer around
and stuff, he could hide in the closet and get
away with it. There's a reoccurring bit, though.
Whenever he hides in the closet, he sneezes and
it gives him away. Well, as a kid, that was endearing.
And like they just saw him in the closet and
they were thinking nothing of it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Well, later in the film, he gets stuck in the
closet when a family comes home and not just
any closet, the closet of a young girl. And he
gets arrested for. Being a predator? Being a
predator. Yeah, essentially. And, like, there's
a newspaper article about, like, how he was masturbating
in the closet. Oh, Jesus. Stuff like that, like,
going all over. Yeah, it's that bad. But the
turn, so, again, if you want to see it, cover
your ears or do whatever. No? Okay. So the turn
is, the person that killed the kid was the school
principal. Aha. The reason why is he also abducted
the girl and basically forced her to do things,
you know, and that stuff. Yeah. And there was
a daughter. The daughter was the girlfriend.
And so like the boyfriend found out and was like
going to report it to everybody. And so he just
like shut him up, killed this high school kid
and like threw him in the river, said no problem.
Well, Abe figures this out. And so the principal
is like, I can't get away with this anymore.
Stabs himself. As you do. In the heart. And like,
it's gruesome. And basically Abe saves the day
and he finds the girl and like saves her and
everything like that. And everybody's happy and
blah, blah, blah. And the end shot of the movie
is Abe talking to his parents about this whole
case. And he just breaks down and starts crying.
And it's like, it is. harrowing because it's
just like he just breaks down because all this
shit he's been through and was like uh just starts
crying of course there's like this lollipop song
in the background like to make it feel even more
juxtaposition and everything like that lollipop
like it's like take me to sugar town oh my god
like it's it's a happy song like bouncy sure
sure you know what he needs he needs a hug and
a team up with detective pikachu oh team up with
detective pikachu or the mystery team like either
or like ryan reynolds yeah ryan reynolds as yeah
it's just you know he's the kid at one point
it seems like the timeline works and you're like
he gets sucked into the pokemon world and you
just you know there's you know ryan reynolds
is pikachu and he's like all right we need to
figure out the case of the missing snorlax or
something well like the whole story the whole
premise of it is basically like it's time to
grow up you know and like everybody is telling
him to give up being a detective, but he doesn't
want to do it because he likes that glory. He
likes that, like putting the town on your shoulders,
that kind of stuff. It's super dark. Like it
is just super dark. And if you, I'm watching
this in the middle of the afternoon, like sunshine,
everything like that. I'm just sitting there
like, wow. Okay. This was a good choice. But
yeah, it was, it was very decent movie for what
it is. It's like a stars original, I guess. So
it's not, I don't think it got released anywhere
except around stars. And then obviously now it's
on Hulu. I would say probably three out of five
closet sneezes. Okay. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. So I
don't know. It was, it was teasing. Decent flick.
What were you expecting? Hour 40, yeah. It was
a quick hour 40, you know? And then you got good
actors in there. Exactly. Like I said, I really
enjoy Adam Brody lately, so that's what got me
to say, okay, this is it, especially because
I needed to watch it today because I hadn't watched
anything recent. so uh that brings us to you
guys are splitting a movie yeah i think so yeah
right all right cool we're gonna tag team this
one yeah so so jill and i we watched um zach
snyder's army of the dead Release the Snyder
Cut? Yeah. Oh, no. I think the Snyder Cut has
definitely been released for this movie. The
Snyder Cut's actually, at one scene, there's,
like, a shot of, like, film reels. Oh, yeah?
It's the Snyder Cut. Oh. Oh, it's, like, the
actual Snyder Cut. Oh, God. It's in the vault.
It's in the vault. Of course it is. Okay. So,
I guess, yeah, for people who don't know this,
the Army of the Dead, it's on Netflix. Yes. And
it is a zombie apocalypse. heist movie right
that's the main thing is that the zombie apocalypse
has taken over las vegas and dave batista needs
to is hired for a job to get tista yeah to get
a crack team of people no it's like yeah it's
like 150 million or whatever 200 million you're
right you're right to crack open a safe at the
bottom of a casino okay um yeah so basically
So first off, this movie, it's definitely a Zack
Snyder film. If you like Zack Snyder's movies,
I think you're going to have a great time with
this one. If you have problems with Zack Snyder,
this is the... It's got a lot of Snyder trappings,
including a bulky late run time. Yes, it is two
and a half hours off the top. Off the top. It
was a snappy two and a half hours. This is where
Jill and I differ. I felt that two and a half
hours. I could have had this at an hour 45 and
I would have been happy. This is interesting
that you guys have two different opinions. Honestly
speaking, I would have thought it would have
been the opposite, where you would have thought
it was fast and you would have thought it was
slow. So I like this. I think I have less patience
for Snyder's shenanigans than fair people. Even
Justice League Snyder Cut. It was long. It's
too long. Yeah. But I probably could have sat
through the entire thing in one go. Right. I
didn't mind the Snyder Cut of Justice League.
I really didn't. It was definitely better than
the Whedon Cut. Sure. Yes. Okay. I still didn't
need four hours of it. No, I didn't need four
hours of it. But, yeah, overall, I'm glad I saw
it. Am I ever going to watch it again? Probably
not. Right. I actually think I will be re -watching
it. Yeah, I might be at some point, but, like,
I'm not, whatever. Anyways, we're not talking
about Snyder. We're talking about Snyder, though.
We're talking about Snyder. No, no, totally.
But, Army of the Dead. First off, the zombie
apocalypse, well, I shouldn't really say apocalypse
because the nice thing I like about this movie
is there's some fun twists on it where The zombie
problem is entirely localized to Las Vegas. And
it starts by a guy getting roadhead from his
new bride. Exactly, right. From Vegas. From Vegas,
I think, right? And then there's like an army
convoy from Area 51 and they're having some very
heavy -handed dialogue about exposition. What
are we bringing? Yeah, right. It could be some
heavy shit or whatever. And so, of course, the
guy's getting roadhead. He's a distracted driver,
obviously, right? And then the army convoy, they're
distracted because they're trying to figure out
what it is. Exactly. And then they crash in and
then there's the... They released the first 15
minutes of this movie before the movie was released.
So I saw the first 15 minutes. So I'm up to when
they close off base. To be fair though, like
the opening sequence of the film. So after the
roadhead guy dies, his bride dies, the thing
in the convoy is released. um and what's interesting
what's there's some like you're just not smart
you individual there's a moment it could be a
nuclear weapon so there's like a military guy
who's like approaching the thing and they're
like did you not just hear the nuclear part right
why are you getting closer to this thing no i
mean like like with most zombie movies there's
a lot of like there's a lot of them it's like
what the hell are you doing you know and i think
that's part of the experience you know you expect
that i guess we'll get to our character yeah
that opening 15 sequence including the like i
like the opening credits yeah we were like snyder
can do a really good opening yes he has a lot
of musical numbers in this you know a lot of
music montages i will say though very reminiscent
of zombie land isn't it like i know yeah i the
only thing i could think of was zombie land yeah
so so so you saw the first 15 minutes right So
that's, like, definitely the most over -the -top,
because, like, for those first 50 minutes, the
opening credits scene, that's showing the sequence
of zombies taking over Las Vegas. Right. And
so it's just very over -the -top, like, you know,
everybody running away and stuff like that, with
people in Las Vegas playing over us. You need
the characters. You need all the characters,
and, like, it shows Dave Bautista and his group
of, like, how they got to become zombie killers.
Okay. That is very zombie -led. I agree with
that. Yeah. The rest of the movie is pretty,
it's less jovial than that. No, no. I just meant
the... like intro credits yes yeah that's what
i know absolutely absolutely because it's very
similar to the intro credit scene from zombie
i haven't seen zombie land in quite some time
um it's like slow motion like it shows you different
parts of the world yeah zombies including there
was a vegas one with like strippers with boob
tassels that had like of course undead boobies
yeah yeah a lot of undead boobies yeah but you
know the you know like some Snyder works this
film peaks early and then you kind of are like
okay well great I've still got two hours left
to go yeah man and I mean that I'm not saying
I said it it didn't feel long to me it really
didn't but I think there is a lot of things they
set up and they establish a tone early and there's
a really fantastic moment where they're they're
putting the team together they they're meeting
the the guy who's giving them the the the mission
and they're kind of walking through the stages
of it and they do this really really hilarious
at the i didn't realize it was a vision until
the sequence ended and they revealed it so okay
it's like this is what you're gonna do you're
gonna go in you're gonna walk two hours to the
casino it's the trailer shots you know what i
mean it's hilarious it's very fun and then that's
really that that is the end of the tongue -in
-cheek this is really funny this is batshit wild
this is what it is yeah and then it devolves
into your stock standard heist action movie but
emphasis on the action less on the heist yeah
right um they're good characters and there's
more color in this movie i want to make a point
here within five minutes there's more color in
this movie than all of justice league my my thing
is is that my big one of my don't you know good
and bad is gray oh my gosh we live in a society
we live in a society shut up about your stupid
society Mitchell doesn't agree that we live in
a society. No, we definitely don't. So, oddly
enough, I was unaware of that meme until people
started talking about it being in Justice League.
I kid you not. It was a whole education for me.
That's funny. Same. Yeah. I remember I had it.
I was like, oh, it's the... We live in a society.
We live in a society. Bottom text. Yeah. Anyways.
Bottom text. That's Army of the Dead. My biggest...
problem with this movie i feel like it's kind
of like waste of attention the movie where like
once we actually went so so we have the setup
we they're the the day batista he gets his team
together it's the it's the it's the cheesy trophy
uh you know rick and morty you spoofed it you
son of a i'm in kind of like literally yeah like
the pilot uh basically says that it's totally
funny it's tiny cheeks up where i like it i love
that yeah but then as soon as they have the team
together And I guess we should explain also that
Dave Bautista has a daughter that he's separated
from because the daughter watched him tearfully
stab his zombified wife in the head because she
turned and it was hard and they're separated.
And she's a volunteer at the quarantine area
outside of Vegas. So she gets them in and then
apparently she has a friend that went in and
is lost to get money, right? And she's like,
I'm going in with you. And they're like, what?
Like, no, it's crazy. And then Dave Bautista.
You swim girl with no military training. Yes,
yes. It's supposed to be a 19 -something girl,
like, no military training, going to just ask
you to get killed. And, of course, you know.
John Larson's son, Jack. Because this is a movie.
Yes, yes. Yeah. Because this is a movie, you
know, she comes, like, Dave Bautista relents,
and she goes with him, right? Right. So as soon
as they get inside. Because movie. Yes, because
movie. As soon as they get inside, it is no longer
a heist movie to me. It's basically just a zombie
movie, which is fine. Yeah, which is fine. But,
like. They marketed it as a heist movie. I was
expecting way more heist hijinks, right? They're,
like, it glitters through at one point with the
safecracker. Yes, and I should say, yeah, they
have the safecracker who's, like, a very, like,
you know, very slender, slim, German lad. Innocent
boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he has never killed
a zombie before. He's obviously the green one.
Like, how do I do it? Yeah, right, like, how
do I kill a zombie? Like, seriously, you shoot
him in the fucking head. Can I use, yeah, go
for the brain. Can I use a rock? Well, yes, that
is a brain. And he's fun, and he, and, oh my
gosh, who was the, um. Vanderhall. Vanderhall,
well, who plays Vanderhall? I don't. I don't
know, but he's a great actor. Oh, my gosh. Yeah,
yeah. It's Omari Harwood. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right.
So he's, like, he's the brawn. And, yeah, they
start, like, they're probably the emotional core
of the movie for me because they start out at
odds. Obviously, Omari Harwood, like, huge. Like,
his trademark thing is he has a buzzsaw that
he uses to kill zombies. Yeah. But the problem,
okay, the problem is, and I'm tangenting on a
tangent here, they show him in the intro using
the buzzsaw of, like, you know? Yeah. they he
never uses it in the actual like once again never
uses it and they make a point that only he yes
right so i was expecting some like an epic fucking
like chase that hilarious sequence of you know
where they're like this is how it's gonna go
down you're gonna get it right right right fly
off no he does there's not a single actual like
from the narrative plot kill with that is it
zach snyder's art uh uh dawn of the dead where
they have the bus and the chainsaw scene i think
so but i don't want to say i don't remember what
zombie movie it is i don't remember that's excellent
do you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah
so basically there's a scene where this guy they're
on a bus that they basically made this zombie
protected bus and this guy revs up a chainsaw
because he's going to like chop off the zombies
as they're running by well of course they like
hit a bump or something like that and he like
falls forward and chops one of the survivors
with the chainsaw. It's like goofiness and that
kind of stuff. I was kind of hoping for that
kind of scene. No, not as much. Especially with
the buzzsaw being a part of it. Chekhov's buzzsaw
does not go off. I don't want to say there's
no really good action sequences. There's some
really fun kills and there's a lot of fun moments
in this movie, but again, it didn't really...
There was one brief moment where... they're they
get to the bottom of the casino and they're the
so it's um um it's it's those two characters
again it's uh it's amari hardwick and the locksmith
they're based on jeter yeah the actual character's
named jeter i don't know the actor's name unfortunately
but anyways they're basically like in the on
and like they're at the ground level they're
they're the ones that have to get to the safe
or whatever while everyone else is carrying gas
cans the helicopter at the top of the building
whatever um that like there's like a little sequence
where you know the locksmith has the eureka moment
and like finally unlocks the safe and once the
safe is open that's it no more heist shenanigans
yeah well yeah well it's so dumb because the
main plot is i feel like nobody has a sense of
time in this movie and i get that like you know
there's a thing called you have to turn your
brain off i guess but still took me out of it
where um When they go into Vegas, they are four
days away from, two days away from the place
getting nuked. Mini -nuked. Mini -nuked. They're
going to wipe it off the face. They're going
to kill each other. So, like, that's the point.
Is that, like, literally on the newscast, they
say the president, who's based, they don't drink
or tell him, but it's Trump. We're going to nuke
him on the 4th of July. We're going to nuke him
on the 4th of July. Because America. Because
America. Yes. Yes. As we do. Yes. And I'm like,
fine, whatever. And we were, like, rolling our
eyes. And then halfway through, they get in.
They get into Vegas. They get down to the safe.
And at the same time, this is a news announcement
being like, as cool as it would be, there was
a lot of pushback. So we're going to move it
up a day. So the window goes from 24 hours to
an hour and a half, an hour and a half. Yes.
And then like, they seem mildly inconvenienced
by it. Like, that's the thing. They're like,
what? what we had 24 hours but the crew like
looks at that and they seem like mildly concerned
about they're like they don't tell Dieter no
they don't tell Dieter which is a good idea because
we don't want to he's like that's fine but like
they like Dave Bautista and the rest of the crew
they're like oh shit like wow we we have we have
an hour and a half now like okay, I think we
can do it, whatever. And they still take time
to like talk about their personal stuff. Like,
you know, we still spend like 10 minutes of screen
time with Dave Bautista talking to his shitty
daughter about like how like, oh, she sucks.
She's the worst character. She's the worst character.
You teased it earlier. She is the worst. And
like, so we know she goes into Vegas to go find
her friend who went in to get money so she can,
you know, escape the life that they have. And
like, as the daughter is just trying to justify
the reason that she needs to go with them. saying
she has kids we can't like can't be left behind
well you would take care of the kids but oh if
you go and look for mommy and you die too then
great you've just orphaned some children right
good for you you've totally not helped the situation
yeah yeah um we also haven't really talked about
like the zombie side so the zombie outbreak happens
and what's cool about the Snyder about the zombies
in this film is that there's normal shamblers
and then there's what they call like alpha zombies
right which have a higher form of intelligence,
so very I Am Legend. So this is Snyder's way
of having both kinds of zombies, where you get,
like, you know, the Night of the Living Dead,
and then, like, 28 Days Later zombies, which
is a cool idea. And the main alpha, who I later
found out they never named Robin, because he
doesn't have one, but his name, he's go by Zeus.
If you get bitten by him, you turn into an alpha.
So you, they have some form of communication.
They're faster. They're stronger. He looks like
Adam Driver, so I was calling him Adam Driver's
zombie. Yeah, he's like a metalhead Adam Driver.
You know what I mean? He's got the very loose
ratty hair. It was Driver's zombie. He's got
a wife. He's got a wife. He's got a lady friend.
He's pregnant, which I don't really know how
a zombie woman can be pregnant, but sure. Okay.
Right. So that's the thing. And they set it up
really cool, too, where the person that's escorting
them in, she's been in the zone much more frequently
than Dave Bautista and his group has. The idea
is that... She knows the rules better because
Dave Bautista and his old crew, they were there
when it started, but they stayed out ever since.
It's probably been some months or something like
that, right? Yeah, maybe even years. Maybe even
years, whatever. They get out of there. And so
the person, their escort that's letting them
in, she says, hey, this is... different from
what you guys are used to it's not just shamblers
they have a whole entire like hierarchy now and
i had this my whole mind was going like race
like wow it's super cool like maybe there's like
different tribes yeah or different like social
constructs suggested that that could happen yeah
but then but it's literally it's just no it's
the idea is that it's one king zombie better
level of zombies and then chambers you know and
it's like okay sure and that's not me for like
like that's not like jack snyder didn't make
the exact zombie movie i had in my head it's
like that's always silly to say but it's more
like okay yeah and like the reason the zombies
really go just you know swarm on the humans it's
they broke the rules so there's um part of the
team so they're hired by um a wealthy businessman
um and there's something well no he actually
He got his insurance payout for the money. He's
just going. He just wants to double dip. He sends
in one of his men who's just your quintessential
mustachio twirling guy, but he's no mustache.
But he's the evil corporate asshole guy. Evil
corporate asshole. Everybody knows he's going
to back down. They make it very clear. So he
messes with things by the woman who's taking
them in. He works out a deal with her. And he
tells her, I want to get close to an alpha so
I can get some blood. And that's going to make
us very, very wealthy. In reality, he wants to
take the head so they can have basically the
whole. They can weaponize. They can weaponize
the alpha. So he decapitates the queen, which
definitely is going to piss off Adam's driver
zombie. His name is Zeus. Zeus. Yeah. But I don't
drive a zombie. Got it. I don't drive a zombie,
which it does. And that's really what spurs the
zombie horde to like, okay, we know the humans
are in here, but we're like, they're respecting
us to like, no, we're just going to kill them
all. Right. Yeah. So that's when all the team
members start to be picked off one by one. Yeah.
And around this time, as shit is starting to
hit the fan, the nukes coming, we only have an
hour and a half. The daughter's like, I'm going
to sneak away now. Go find my friend who got
dragged away by an alpha. Because, sure, I've
got my little queen pistol here. I'll be fine.
She's totally fucked. It's so bad. There's just
a lot of characters doing dumb stuff. And again,
that's part of the zombie flick. You're getting
that. The stereotypical zombie flick. There was
a lot of head -in -hands moments where a couple
is fine, a lot is too much. Anyways, I don't
know. I don't want to give away the ending. I
will say that I feel like I saw it like as soon
as things happen like yeah you knew where it
was going and I'll just say yeah like as soon
as like the daughter insisted she go in with
them like okay this is how it's gonna end up
and that's it you know okay yeah that's all I
will say yeah no I agree as soon as she's like
I'm coming in even though this is absolutely
asinine it's like okay you're gonna you're gonna
be the cause of a lot of problems this is what
yeah you know despite the film's shortcomings
like i said they set up a lot of things they
leave a lot of breadcrumbs that just never pay
off or like they set up a tone that doesn't follow
through there are some really likable characters
they're definitely exception of the daughter
okay like i think everyone who's involved in
this film is having a really good time yes no
one no one is phoning it in no one's phoning
it in um And without spoiling the ending, I can
tell you that I think I read it was greenlit
for, like, an anime sequel. Oh, or an animated
sequel. Animated anime sequel. Whatever. Which,
you know, I'm curious to see more of this world.
Yeah. You know, like I said, it was, for me,
not always fun, but, you know, it was a decent
two and a half hours of my life. I don't regret
it. It was, like, refreshing to see a zombie
property that didn't exhaust me because I'm just
so over zombies and everything. Yeah, fair. Like,
ugh. cannot can't really want zombie trendy it's
like the vampires of the early 2010s right i'm
trying to move on now i'm right yeah right what's
i mean i guess werewolves are next maybe ghosts
i feel like werewolves their chance to happen
it would have happened by now i mean it kind
of happened we've got werewolves and uh werewolves
among us or whatever it's called the two movies
coming out werewolves is the uh well you know
you can spin off sequel to what they do in the
shadows oh okay yeah You can be any were -animal.
You can be a were -armadillo if you wanted to
be. I'm down for the were -armadillo craze. Give
me a were -platypus. I've got two questions for
you guys. One that can be answered by everybody
and one that can be answered by you guys in the
movie. The one that can be answered by you in
the movie, does Dave Bautista wear tiny glasses?
No. I don't think he wears any. He used to wear
sunglasses at some point. Yes, but it's not tiny
glasses. He wears a bandana. He wears a bandana.
He's talking about the very specific one or whatever.
No, because it happened in Hotel Artemis, too.
Did it? It did. Oh, so he wears glasses apparently
in Hotel Artemis and also in Blade Runner. No,
he was wearing, so he was wearing. The Blade
Runner ones were like tiny. They were not comically
tiny. He was wearing glasses when they find him
in the burger shop. Right, he's flipping burgers.
But I think they're more just like classic frames.
They're classic. But he's a fake. So in Hotel
Artemis, he had a point where he holds up glasses
that are on a stick. No, no, no. There's no point
where he rolls up in the safe blueprints. He's
not wearing any glasses. He doesn't pick up a
monocle either. Okay, and then the question for
everybody. Everybody gets an answer on this one.
Who is the best actor out of Dave Bautista, The
Rock, John Cena? All of the old wrestlers that
are now... actors that... Yes. That's tough.
I don't think I've... What movies has John Cena
been in? Cockblockers. Yeah, Cockblockers, Trainwrecked.
Trainwrecked, yeah. Fast 9, F9. Hasn't come out
yet, yo. You've seen the trailers. I'll say it.
It's Dave Bautista and it's not close. It's not
close. I don't want to blow it. He's the most
charismatic by far. But in terms of acting, I've
seen Dave pull off more things than those other
two. Dave's just more believable. The Rock is
just larger than life. Nice guy. That's his thing.
When you bring The Rock into your movie, there's
a very, I don't want to say narrow range, but
I guess to echo basically what Mitchell said.
i don't i couldn't see him doing other super
dramatic roles you know what i mean he's not
an everyman i could see as big as dave batista
is like comedically large yeah he could still
play like an everyman and i can probably buy
it especially if they gave the backstory of like
he was a former like dude well like blade runner
2049 he was in there for maybe 10 15 minutes
and i thought he was awesome did he play like
the sidekick cop no he's not a psychic cop he's
he's um psychic not psychic whatever sidekick
no no he's the um uh he's the replicant that
k fights at the beginning very beginning i don't
remember that part of them okay but it's been
very i keep bringing up hotel artemis but he
was a nurse you don't want to see it not really
i thought it was supposed to be good it's not
good that's where it was like it's a safe zone
and then shit hits the fan and so basically they're
a war hospital for assassins kind of thing wait
what's the name of the hospital in the john the
there's a bar i think batista has better taste
than the others as well he's gonna be a knives
out too and then he's also gonna be in dune um
yeah he i think well the rock was Or at some
point, especially in the earlier career, was
like, I'll take whatever I can get. I know I
want to be in Hollywood. Is that how Scorpion
King happened, basically? Yeah. Well, I mean,
he kind of cleared the way for the other two.
He definitely did. You know what I was saying
when we watched his first appearance in the Fast
and the Furious franchise is that you can tell
it's early days. And he definitely got better.
That's kind of the fun thing about the Fast franchise.
You can see him getting better and better. And
less sweaty. And less sweaty. Holy shit. Well,
that had to be on purpose, but I don't think
I don't know. I've got a fun sidebar about the
Fast and Furious movie that I just learned the
other day. So Vin Diesel, The Rock and Jason
Statham in the Fast and Furious movies all have
in their contract. They have to take equal damage.
That's pretty cool. So in any movie, if one takes
damage, they all take damage. So it's like the
Bugs Bunny Mickey Mouse contract for Roger Rabbit.
Yeah, they could only be on this. They could
be on screen for the exact amount, same amount
of time. So when they appear. their fall uh the
main character's falling so they pop up they're
like parachuting down so they have like a little
conversation but they have the exact same amount
of dialogue and screen time wow exactly all right
now let's get to ratings because we need to get
to our bad movie we do yes okay no you go first
because i need to come up with a metric actually
um yeah hoping you would do that oh my gosh okay
fine um i'm gonna give this one man two point
two no 2 .5 hours out of five because i felt
those hours we'll just see that let's say that
like a 2 .9 adam's adam driver zombies okay you
really look even being built like in two one
more thing before we go uh before we move on
uh there are definitely robot zombies yeah they
don't explain There are robot zombies. Yeah,
yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, this
might have a spoiler, I guess, but, like, there's
no plot reason. There's no plot reason. They
don't, they don't, they don't, it's a movie.
Yes, yes. No, there, you know, at one point or
another, they're popping heads off zombies, and
there was, like, a flash, like, Andre's like,
did that one have, like, glowing eyes? And then
later we see in similar, you know, it's, like,
metal. Yeah, a zombie gets, they're ripped, their
neck is ripped out, and you see metal underneath,
like, literally like a T -1000. Yeah, and I read
the IMDB. But it's not focused on, like, it's
just in the background, you know what I'm saying?
I read the IMDB page, and he's like, yeah. they're
in there yeah he's like maybe they're maybe they're
robot zombies like like Zack Snyder thinks he's
like he's sorry I said I shouldn't project my
feelings on him but he's like yeah maybe they
are robot zombies maybe they aren't who knows
you know I'll leave I'll leave the robot zombies
out to interpretation no he didn't say that I
know but like they're there but he's not explaining
why right I will say Zack Snyder is having a
pretty good 2021 he is yeah unlike the bad movies
we've had to watch including Mitchell you had
to watch one And before we get started, I just
want to give a shout out to the person that guessed
the movie. It is our friends, part of the hashtag
Illumapotty, Sass and Sips. You'll hear a promo
from them later. Tell us about the bad movie
that you had to watch. Oh, my goodness. Let me
just start with this. Guys, after a long year
of 2020, there were so many questions that went
through my mind. I was reconsidering. you know,
my position in life. You know, this is a nice
way to press pause. And sometimes my mind went
down certain rabbit holes. And one of those rabbit
holes was, where the hell is Katie Holmes? And
I'll tell you, Katie Holmes was busy releasing
a film called The Secret, colon, Dare to Dream,
as she was starring as Miranda Wells. um on a
movie based on a book which is based on a pseudoscience
belief that if you believe in something enough
you will attract that thing towards you are we
all familiar with the secret yes there is so
yeah i was gonna say when mike told me the name
of it i'm like you mean like that documentary
cults you know thing and then when it started
like even the film's title like font is the same
as the move is like the the famous one this just
reminds me of the episode of it crowd where there's
the star science uh whatever it's like a cult
but basically he's like so i just turn with my
back to space throw a piece of paper over my
shoulder and i get what i want and the the question
immediately is how do you turn your back to space
yeah yeah It's the same. That's the same logical
questioning that you would give to someone who
believes the secret as well, which unfortunately,
this movie is just propaganda for. And I did
some research. This way of thinking is from something
called New Thought. um it has a whole wikipedia
page so that's the boy put into this uh but yes
and wikipedia is calling it pseudoscience so
i'm just putting that out there however this
film what's that i said katie holmes was married
to tom cruise yes so she jumped from scientology
to uh yep Yeah. And that's the thing. You thought
that there was a brighter future for Katie after
getting out of that situation. And she jumps
to this. And that's the thing. This movie takes
itself so damn serious. And that's why everything
about it ends up being so bad. And I'm talking
everything from the acting. Shouts to Katie Holmes
one last time. uh even to the kids i'm not gonna
stop there man the kids we have a teenager we
have someone who's about 12 and then the young
one who's about six who had this crying moment
like it was definitely one for her real where
she broke a little Black Beauty horse doll thing.
And she was supposed to be crying, guys. And
oh, boy, did she make a face like she was about
to cry for about five minutes. So it was great.
It was really cringy at points. And ultimately,
I felt sad watching it because there are folks
who I think legitimately. pour some effort into
this you know what I mean like they actually
believe there's a result to be had if you were
to put in that kind of you know over the top
positive thinking in order to attract different
things whether you want or wish desire for in
this universe and I will tell you none of that
comes true without putting in legwork or actually
things happening in real life not just in your
head but let's get to the dialogue because the
way to do it Break it down. Let's get to the
dialogue here. So the secret, just to get into
the actual plot here, it's an entire vehicle
for this philosophy, if I want to call it that.
Katie Holmes stars as Miranda Wells, who is a
single mom with three kids living in New Orleans,
Louisiana. I think we have all heard of it. But
she is hit on some hard times. Her husband died
five years ago. And she's still grieving his
death. And, you know, she's raising these kids
on her own. And there's a hurricane at the beginning
of this movie that comes through. Is it Katrina?
It's not Katrina. I forgot the name of it. But
this is post -Katrina. It's supposed to be set
in its own little world. And then there's a big
tree that blows a hole through the roof of this
house that they're living in. And, oh, my God,
this is awful. But meanwhile. We meet this guy
played by Josh Lucas. His name is Bray, B -R
-A -Y. Bray rolls into town, okay? And the way
that we're introduced to him, he has a manila
envelope with something inside. And by the way,
it's sealed shut with a logo that looks like
the secret from the book. Like the wax logo?
Yeah, exactly. Like he's going to Hogwarts. Son
of a bitch. Exactly. And he rolls up to... That's
the second time I've brought up Hogwarts. Yeah,
what are you doing over there? I'm just thinking
about, you know, witchcraft and wizardry. Talking
about wizard shit? Yeah, right. I want wizard
shit. You want to be an apple pop. It's okay.
Anyways. Anyways. Anyways. So he rolls up to
the house before the hurricane comes through.
And he's looking for Katie Holmes. We don't know
why. But the only person that's there is her
son. Her one and only son who's about... 10 to
12 years old, who's fishing in the backyard.
And Josh Lucas rolls up to him. He's just like,
hey, I'm looking for Miranda. And it turns out
it's mom. This very awkward exchange about how
he's not supposed to talk to strangers comes
up. But he also gives this kid advice about life
because he's not at school because he's sick.
But he's out here fishing on the bayou. So I
don't really know what's going on here. What
is he sick with? Yeah, what's he ill with? They
never explain. They never really explain. Does
he have like the plot telling cough or something?
No, and that's the thing. They never actually
invest into that storyline at all. But they say
it twice. So it's not like he's sick with a cold.
grandma brings it up grandma's just like oh he
can't stay in this house with the mold or whatever
he's already sick like you know yeah maybe he
has asthma remember that early that 90s film
i showed you with the chuck norris um sidekick
oh yeah and like the main character gets shit
on because he has asthma so clearly he'll never
amount to anything in life really right it's
a death sentence if you are listening and you
have asthma you suck I have asthma. I grew up
with asthma as well. I had the machine and everything.
Well, you suck. Both of you. Chuck Norris to
bail you out, I guess. Just one good roundhouse
kick to the throat fixes the problem. So anyway,
he actually ends up meeting Katie Holmes by chance.
And I forgot to mention the beginning of this
movie opens with a shot of planet Earth. you
know the camera is out in space and as they're
descending into Louisiana there is a text that
comes on screen that says that there are two
types of people I'm paraphrasing here one type
of person who believes that there are just coincidences
and another who believes that something basically
that miracles happen on purpose is the whole
gist of it Dare to dream. Dare to dream, baby.
Dare to dream. But this sounds definitely like
not Jesus. This sounds new. It's a different
type of Jesus. They mentioned God once because
I wanted to take note if they were going to tie
any kind of religion into this. They mentioned
God once, but you could. chalk that up to oh
they live in the south whatever it says they
they don't say jesus they don't really assign
a name to god so you know no no no prominent
no prominent crosses or crucifixes anywhere nope
nothing nothing do they have spaghetti once in
the movie because that's flying spaghetti monster
uh no pasta but there is pizza there is pizza
in this movie So Italians exist, got it. Yes,
a stuffed crust, by the way. If you believe hard
enough, Italians exist. Exactly. Yeah, I got
it. That's actually, Andre, that is literally
the first instance of when we see Bray explain
his philosophy to these kids. And it's about,
hey, what do you guys want right now? And this
is when the storm is really coming down hard.
And they're like, oh, we want a pizza. That was
in his trailer. Yes, I showed the trailer. And
you know what? Sure enough, the pizza man shows
up. Oh my God, it worked. So that is the whole
thing with Bray. He is a true believer in this
thought. Katie Holmes is someone who is living
on some pretty hard times here. So imagine someone
walks up to you and is just like, yo man, your
life sucks because you're not believing hard
enough. You're not manifesting your positive
energy out into the universe. all right let me
bring up one of the quotes here because there's
one that directly relates to that instance with
katie holmes who is taking in the sight of a
literal tree now driven through the roof of her
house this dude rolls up and he says you know
things don't have to be a series of unfortunate
events yeah and he goes on to say I found when
I think about what I want instead of what I don't
want things are just so much better and this
is the Katie Holmes who is trying to survive
a hurricane like that's it and she's like she
has known this guy for 24 hours at this point
but you know there'd be no hurricane if you didn't
believe in hurricanes yeah that's the thing um
but and she actually pushes back initially but
she's just so smitten by this guy because he
actually helps to fix the roof of her house um
and this is the this is the thing like he is
actually a positive uh influence in her life
if you did not add this whole pseudo philosophy
of just being like yo positive thinking blah
blah this dude's actually kind of helpful he's
fixing her roof uh they bumped into each other
literally on the road and he fixes the bumper
on her car um all these different things like
oh it's a nice dude probably wants to get laid
uh but do you think he believes in getting laid
or you know like he doesn't he doesn't watch
porn he just wants it hard enough exactly i just
imagine he's sitting at home like really believe
i could get sex right now yeah right in this
porn star's car breaks down outside jeez that
is basically the logic of this movie um and one
more piece of dialogue which i found incredible
so he's talking to the little girl who's scared
of this hurricane um and his way of consoling
her is saying that oh you know nature can be
very powerful but so are you and that's it and
then that leads into the pizza that manifesting
pizza but it didn't manifest them protecting
their house from a tree popping through their
ceiling but what kind of what kind of people
what kind of topics around this pizza like what
how good a pizza was manifested i saw sausage
i saw pepperoni and it was uh stuffed crust it's
a deluxe pizza though okay it was delivery so
it's not dijon it's not dijon it was delivery
for sure um so Anyway, we have this whole thing
between the two. But the reason why he's actually
in town, remember that envelope I was telling
you about? He was trying to deliver that to Katie
Holmes. But for whatever reason, and the movie
does a piss poor job of explaining this dude's
reasoning for this, but he meets her. He understands,
oh, that you're the person I'm supposed to give
this to. But he doesn't give it to her at all.
Instead, he offers to fix her bumper, to fix
the roof of her house, to, in a way, offer life
advice to her kids instead of delivering the
thing of why we're there in the first place.
And we see him in a phone conversation. this
is their explanation for this he's calling back
home to a woman who at the time it looks like
they might be dating but it turns out it's actually
her sister so he and Katie Holmes can get together
by the end of the movie but that's a little curveball
for you so the sister asked why haven't you told
her and at this point in the movie we don't know
what's in that envelope yet and he replies That's
what I'm trying to figure out. I think the universe
is trying to tell me something. And it's like,
what the hell does that even mean? You're a dude
who believes that you can manifest things in
the universe. That means you think you can control
the universe, but now you're saying you can't
explain what the universe wants out of you. Like,
dude, just give her the envelope. It's that easy.
That is the easiest thing. Not trying to manifest
pizza or fix a ceiling. Like you, all you have
to do is. Pull that out your backpack and give
her the envelope. Which, by the way, there's
this whole backstory, guys. They were reaching
out about her warranty? It's not a warranty.
From her husband? Is it like a letter from her
husband? Oh, Jill, you have seen Hallmark movies.
I can tell. And I've seen P .S. I Love You. My
best friend was your husband, but he never mentioned
me once. And that's the thing. her husband died
in a plane crash okay and guess who was in that
plane crash with him did he cause the plane crash
did he manifest the plane crash because he didn't
believe hard enough that planes could fly he
believed that he wouldn't die no jill that was
before his life changed so it's after that point
in his life when he started doing this kooky
thing um what happened was They crash. He's the
only survivor in this thing. The reason why they're
both on the same flight, and this is like a small
little plane, they met at an engineering conference
in, I think, Las Vegas. Doesn't matter. They're
both engineers. Exactly. They're both engineers.
They're putting together ideas for some machine
that they explained by my eyes glazed over. And
what happened was, in this envelope is the uh
patent to the um invention that he and her dead
husband made together here's the thing in such
a small aircraft and she doesn't know who this
dude is at all so she's shocked of like why are
you here and all this kind of stuff they had
this whole third act blow up but don't don't
worry they get together at the end at a waffle
house um right there i think the waffles is the
real jesus they found a lot i feel god are you
saying the waffle house is like a it's like the
waffles are like a metaphor for communion or
something okay got it i would say that was my
favorite part of the movie because i'm like oh
damn like i would a hundred percent hit up a
waffle house at that point in the night Like
it was late. Just getting late. And I'm like,
dude, what sounds better than some chicken and
waffles at a Waffle House? And I was totally
in. I was like, that may have saved the movie
for me. God bless this Waffle House. God bless
this Waffle House. So spoilers for people who
care. But it turns out they make this thing together
for whatever reason that was withheld from Katie
Holmes, knowing that her husband had an invention
that was going through the patent process and
finally went through. And suddenly they find
the envelope that he had been trying to deliver
to her. with it is a check um that is like a
hundred thousand whatever dollars that's just
enough to cover all the different debts uh that
they had kind of you know expositioned into uh
the dialogue earlier in the movie it's just like
oh wow like they manifested this or Whatever.
But here's the thing. The movie's logic doesn't
work for me. Because if you want me to believe
that Bray is right in terms of positive thinking
is going to lead to all these other things, Katie
Holmes never really buys into that. Like, we
don't see her having a moment of turning her
thought process around. She's still in a relatively
dark place. She ends up saying yes to a guy who
engages, who proposes to her. Yeah, more Jerry
O 'Connell. Yeah, Jerry O 'Connell. How could
I forget? Easily the second most famous person
in the cast. And he is not a bad dude, I would
say. Just a guy who wanted to propose to Katie
Holmes. And that's it. I mean, you know, he,
without sin, cast the first stone. I would do
that too. But here we are. And my biggest thing
is he proposed in a very public setting. with
lots of people. And that definitely caught her
off guard. And I feel like her hand was forced
there. But besides that, he had done pretty much
all the right things, was kind of awkward around
the kids. But as someone with two step parents,
I get that. But over time, you would think this
would work. However, she's just like, you know
what, I'm more in love with that really positive
dude. But she never takes on that logic herself.
And the whole thing of her getting that check
and having all of her problems dissolved away
isn't because of the secret. It's because this
dude showed up and, you know, had this encounter
with her husband like five years before. Again,
guys, I can't help but just notice coincidences
and dominoes falling in the right way and not
just the secret manifesting positive and good
results into her life. I just don't feel like
this movie was. selling what it thought it was
selling to me so that says me i have to say though
like so you were saying earlier that he doesn't
give her the envelope until basically the end
at one point he's like i don't know what the
universe wants me to do like you would willingly
withhold giving this woman who clearly needs
financial aid yes you would withhold this a hundred
thousand dollars because you think the universe
doesn't want you to do it it's it's dumb unless
you're telling me that this whole positive energy
thing is more of a conversation than a request
you know what i mean like the universe asks something
of you kind of like a um i don't know what's
that thing karma yeah i don't know if it's a
karma thing where you have to put in good to
get good back um They could have done like the
snowball of like one kindness feeds into another
into another until it gets bigger and bigger
and bigger. And then suddenly they built a community
center for the family because that's what happens
in films like this. Even that requires too much
logic for this movie to take on. Yeah, none of
it makes sense. But what I find, like it's funny
to watch because like I said, acting's bad, dialogue's
bad. But before I get to my serious critiques
of this movie and how dangerous I think it is,
I do have two very funny things to talk about.
There were two nominations that this movie garnered
as it came out last year, right at the beginning
of the pandemic. Awful timing. Whatever. I guess
they didn't believe hard enough. Yeah. Totally
killed their box office. Yeah, totally. Both
are for Katie Holmes. One for Worst Actress from
the Razzies, as you would expect. Yeah, that's
his chalk at that point. It's just like, you
know, Meryl Streep for an Oscar, Katie Holmes
in essentially a Hallmark movie for the Razzies.
Got it. And this one's more interesting that
actually Kelly looked up. The Alliance of Women
Film Journalists. who I am convinced need to
take over the Oscars because the show would be
so much more fun with these categories. Katie
Holmes wasn't nominated for Worst Actress. She
was nominated for Actress Most in Need of a New
Agent. I think is such a better way of putting
it. Because she's not a bad actor, I don't think.
No, no. She just made a bad con. She's been good
in things. And I mean, like, literally, she was...
a big part of like Dawson's Creek that kind of
stuff well I'm guessing then that this really
was a passion project for her because she believes
in this new age or I like I like Mitchell's theory
in that she didn't believe hard enough that she
has a bad age that's it let me give you some
other categories um so actress most need of an
age as I said Uma Thurman won that by the way
for her role in the war with grandpa if anyone
saw that wait Uma Thurman was in that I guess.
I had never seen it. No, I never saw it either.
Obviously, I'm asking the question, but like
what? Yeah, there she and she won an award for
it. So good for her. Then we got most egregious
age difference between the leading man and the
love interest. The winner for that was Tenet
with Kenneth Branagh and Elizabeth DeBecky. I
have not seen Tenet. I did not know there was
a romantic thing going on between those two,
but I know that they're in the movie. And also
another huge one, Mank with Amanda Seyfried and
Charles Dance. So that, yeah, that's a good one
for that. And I mean, Kenneth Branagh has got
to be a hundred at this point. So yeah. And then
that way, are we going down this road right now?
Okay. Okay. All right. You can say that, but
you're wrong. Mitchell. Frana or Branagh. All
right. So I'm going to move on to something else.
kill it now no let's let's go back to a movie
that i'm not sure if it was jill or andre who
brought this up in a previous podcast but it
was one i was not on but me and kelly listened
to this podcast on the way up to disneyland last
year uh the winner of sequel or remake that shouldn't
have been made do little and that was oh yeah
that's so that honestly thank you for that because
i feel some catharsis for that that's that's
a good one now the least fun I've had watching
a bad movie on this podcast. Doolittle is probably,
like, one of the worst movies ever. Yeah, right.
Like, yeah, it's down the box for me. There's
a reason why I re -released a clip from our Doolittle
episode. Okay, yeah. Is because I just don't
feel it has enough downloads, listens for how
bad that movie was. It just, you know, it's like
a one -two punch. It's just, like, it's just
not a good movie. And it's like, you know, you
go from, you know, RDJ being Iron Man. It's like,
oh, my God, this man's amazing. He can do anything.
oh my gosh and the the my favorite thing they
have a hall of shame and the most recent inductee
into this hall of shame is one christopher nolan
uh not for making the movie tenant but for insisting
that tenant be screamed exclusively in theaters
during a pandemic He's the only one that could
save it. Passion of the movie theater. He was
Jesus. We need to get to a rating and take our
break and everything because we still have another
segment to go and we're over an hour currently.
It's warm down here. Yes, we are sweating. The
reason why I'm actually going to go for the first
time ever lower than a Mitchell zero. I'm going
to go down to a quarter of a wish upon a star
because this is a movie that is perpetuating
an idea that I think is actually dangerous. I
really, I it's, I'm not saying it's Nazi propaganda
because any of those films is an automatic zero,
but I'm saying it's propaganda of a different
color where we're talking about a thought process
of, Hey, if we are all just over the top positive
and really want. everything to be better. That's
all we need to do. And I'm like, wake the fuck
up. We got to do some work. Either that's for
individual success or for success as a people.
You got to put in the fucking work, whether that
is planning, whether that's organizing, whether
that is actually getting your hands dirty. You
got to put some things into action. It's not
all about wishing. And I get positive thinking
is great. Because if you're just lost in negative
thought, that could definitely cloud your judgment
and basically unmotivate you. That's the thing
that positive thinking does. It helps motivate
you. But you can't just hang everything on that.
And I think in that sense, and I'm probably taking
this a little bit too seriously of a movie, but
I think the idea itself is horseshit. even wikipedia
is calling it pseudoscience and i think in the
wrong hands if people entirely embrace it for
what it is it can be dangerous so a quarter of
a wish upon a star for uh the secret uh donna
justice no the secret dare to dream uh is the
actual name of the movie that is it wow All right.
Well, that's a rating. All right. It's lower
than the Mitchell zero. Wow. Zero. All right.
He made a movie. One day I want the Kelly negative.
Yeah. The Kelly negative will come out. Well,
all right. So we're going to do a quick break
with our friends, sass and sips. Congratulations
on guessing. Here's your promo. Love them dearly.
Enjoy. Hey there, I'm Lisa. And I'm Agnes. And
together, we are Sass and Sips, a watch, re -watch
podcast. We want to personally invite you to
check out our podcast, where we'll be discussing
TV shows from two perspectives. One who has seen
the show before. And one who's not so sure. While
we drink, a lot. I mean, like a lot, a lot. Every
season, we will focus on a new show. And for
our first season, we have chosen the iconic show
Lost. We hope that you will come over and check
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platform or at sassandsips .com. If you're down
for drinks, friends, and television, then make
sure you listen and subscribe. Because we're
down for all of it. Yes. So listen with your
bestie, open your favorite bottle, and sip and
sass with Sass and Sips. That was an ad for our
friends Sass and Sips. They are part of the hashtag
Illuminati. Are they actually part of the Illuminati?
No, I don't think so. They will not admit to
it. Yeah, exactly. I don't know if anybody will
admit to that. That brings us to our favorite
segment. At least my favorite segment. Oh, okay.
I don't know if it's your guys' favorite segment.
Cash or Trash? Cash or Trash, yeah. Hashtag Cash
or Trash. Do you have a song for us, Mitchell,
now that you're back, or no? I'm eating sushi,
but let me wrap up the episode with one. I'll
do that. All right, all right. We'll let you
wrap up the episode. So the first thing I'm going
to talk about, Hulu's MODOK. It's Marvel. It's
animated. It's adult animation. It's Patton Oswalt
as a talking brain man. Yeah. It really, that's
exactly it. I have two episodes in so far and
it is decent. I will say I'm not completely enthralled
with it, but. Patton Oswalt is enough to keep
me going. So I'm going to give it the hashtag
cash. Okay. That man makes voices a rat and loves
food and I buy it. Exactly. Oh yeah. It looks
like it has, this sounds very like a very, have
you seen Bojack Horseman? Yeah. It looks like
it has Bojack potential in terms of like, ha
ha funny, funny show about the brain man, but
then also very sad. It's very, yeah. Family drama.
Okay. Yes. Okay. But I think it's the same animators
who do Robot Chicken. Yes. Which makes me cautious
because I don't... Oh, I love Robot Chicken.
I am not a Robot Chicken fan. I like Moral Oral.
That was my adult role. Wow, okay. So you don't
like Robot Chicken, but Moral Oral you're in
for. Because it's hilarious to me. Okay, nice.
I mean, I love Moral. That's awesome. You're
awesome. Thank you. The sleeper head of Adult
Swim. Yeah, I would say so. I mean, I would say
from what I saw in the previews, it looked pretty
different humor from Robot Chicken. Robot Chicken
is so much more interstitial. I mean, it's so
Marvel. I mean, it's what, PG -13? Yeah, probably.
There's a few more F -bombs, so maybe it gets
the R because of F -bombs. And Hulu is more adult,
is like where Disney's like, it's okay if you're
more adult. Yeah, this is not on Disney +, it's
on Hulu. Speaking of f -bombs, I have not said
enough for us to earn our E. Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck. There we go. Yeah, there you go.
Excellent. We need to earn that E. We're going
to be explicit for one. We've got to do at least
seven. We just have to play a game of fuck, marry,
kill at the top of the show every time. Yeah,
we can do the Golden Girls. We listened to that
Golden Girls clip. That was awesome for Nerds
by Nerds. For the record, you're wrong. You would
marry Dorothy, fuck Blanche, and absolutely kill
Rose. Save it for the Golden Girls. He said that,
though. No, he said kill Dorothy. No, there was
two of them. You did not listen to the clip.
You were talking over the clip. I was not. Okay.
We digress. We digress. All right. Cash for MODOK.
Cash for MODOK. Ka -ching. Ka -ching, ka -ching.
Jill, cash for trash? Stop laughing. Okay. We
give to Andre. Do I take over? Yes, go, Andre.
All right, cool. So, you know, Jill and I were
doing the very basic couple thing of watching
baking reality TV together. That's why not. Because
why not? We need something to watch with our
reality TV. We need something low stakes. So
we have watched the first handful, the first
two episodes of Crime Scene Kitchen. With Joe
McHale. How was my one? Joe McHale. Yes. I didn't
realize he hosted that. Okay. Yeah. He's very
good. Yeah. I don't like him. He's not good.
The rest of it. Yeah. Anyways. Crime Scene Kitchen.
well what what what you seem like no no he's
just he's a very interesting person it's like
he can do something like the soup and be excellent
yes community yeah excellent no he has the hosting
chops it just it feels very it feels very forced
and very edited around him you know what i mean
he always says like a very dumb joke and then
it's very clearly edited to all the contestants
laughing way too hard at his dumb joke yeah okay
and it's like i didn't buy that so did you ever
watch don't when it had its first season no so
don't was it's produced by ryan reynolds And
the host is Adam Scott. And Adam Scott's great.
But they have bits where Ryan Reynolds does voiceover.
And it's just all very bit -y. It's just like,
oh, this bit cost us $60 ,000. It's very Deadpool
-ish, but not Deadpool -ish. You can't do the
meta humor too much. He's almost killing the
meta humor. for other things yes okay sorry no
it's all good yeah crime scene but the premise
of crime scene kitchen is actually fun yes the
idea is that think you know it's a cooking reality
show think think great British Bake Off as this
or Top Chef as like a template right where the
twist on this one is that all the contestants
are in pairs and they have to they're all they
all are given a kitchen that where something
was baked some sort of some sort of dessert or
cake thing was made in this kitchen and there's
like there's clues hidden about and they have
to figure it out like oh like maybe the specific
ingredient was open or oh there's or not opened
or oh there's a there's a microplane zester in
the sink with orange peels on it oh there's a
picture yeah four baked tins and yeah um you
know oh there's a little bit of uh tempered chocolate
on a ice piece of paper oh i wonder and like
it's fun watching them go through and then we're
trying to guess what it is yes yeah and it's
it's fun because it does do the thing that reality
tv shows need to do and that it gets jill and
i talking like oh that guy's those that that
couple's definitely fucked like you know what
i mean like oh like oh man they're nailing this
like what are you kidding me philistine you can't
fill that donut with coconut cream what the hell
are you thinking um so yeah it generates a lot
of fun conversations it's light easy and you
know whatever it's it's easy breezy cover girl
yeah and it's it's a fun enough twist that like
i feel like it can it can stand up to the very
long lineup of food network i mean it's on fox
but you know food reality shows yeah it is a
cash for now we will watch more of it it's fine
it's good now that i've regained composure um
bye For my Cashew Trash, I have been watching
the, I now throw three episodes into the Masters
of None season three. I really loved the first
two seasons of the show. It's been on quite a
hiatus. So when it came, when it was announced
a new season was coming back, they were very
upfront with it's going to be different rather
than focusing on Ozian Zari's character, Dev,
and his shenanigans around New York City and
being a struggling actor. They are completely
pivoting the plot and it is now on, you know,
waste. Lena Waithe's character, Denise. And there's
been a bit of a time jump. So she is now a successful
author living upstate with her wife. And the
way that the series is shot is very similar to
Ingmar Bergman's scenes from a marriage. So it's
actually shot in a different ratio. It's shot
on 16 millimeter film. So it's got that grain
to it. And there's, you know, if you're a cinephile.
You're going to love the way that this looks.
Long shots where the camera stays absolutely
still and the characters come in and out of the
camera as they just live their lives. Or the
camera sits on a character for three minutes
while they eat a sandwich and opera plays. And,
you know, I like Lena's character, Denise. She
was always really fun. The plot is really interesting.
But if you're showing up thinking that this is
going to be picking up where season two of Masters
of None left off, you are going to be significantly
disappointed. Aziz Ansari's character has only
showed up now for maybe 10 minutes worth of screen
time across the three episodes that I've seen.
He is really not the point. But it is so far
really, really good. So it is a cash for me.
I am curious to see if this is the end of the
series. Fair. So we will see. I've got a few
more to go. They vary in length. The first episode
was over 50 minutes. The next two have been under
30. Oh. interesting yeah it seemed like that
like that yeah yeah and then the next i think
the last episode is over 50 minutes and i think
the second to last is also a bit longer too okay
so yeah it's kind of all over the place in time
in terms of length but like i said it's gorgeously
shot you know great actors are in this this plot
is interesting And just as an aside, the house
that is almost like a second, third main character
is absolutely gorgeous. And I was utterly gutted
to find out that the house does not exist. The
exterior is real, but the inside is all soundstage.
And it is like the most gorgeous little cottage
thing with reading nooks and great art and fireplaces.
Why is that not real? But absolutely a cash.
Perfect. Mitchell? Yeah, I'm going to keep it
with the Netflix as well. So this is a series
that's been around for a few years now, but me
and Kelly just caught wind of it. And it's three
seasons old and we are already on season three.
And that is Formula One Drive to Survive, which
is about Formula One racing. Think of Hard Knocks,
which covers training camp for a single NFL football
team leading into an actual regular season. Formula
One covers the entire grid. for an entire season
and formula one goes pretty much nine months
out of the year so it is a huge undertaking and
as i'm understanding from a production standpoint
but it's incredible the access that they're given
and the stories that they're able to tell as
you're able to meet the drivers And, you know,
the folks behind the scenes were creating these
cars and stuff. And there's actual narrative
behind it. And it's so gripping. It's really
fantastic. There's no way I could have gotten
into Formula One at this point. Me and Kelly
have gotten up to watch Formula One racing in
the current season because of this series. There's
no way we would be as invested if it were not
for this show introducing us to the quirky characters.
There's so many different personalities that
you would never expect. It's such a glitzy and
glamorous sport too. They go all over the globe
doing these races. And it's so much fun to watch.
It's shot beautifully as well. And it's from
the executive producer who brought you Amy and
Exit to the Gift Shop. Really knows his documentaries.
And this one, I believe, is his first docu -series.
So Formula One, Drive to Survive on Netflix.
And even if you're not a sports fan. There's
a lot to like here. It has kind of a money ball
kind of edge to it where there's a lot of underfunded
teams that are trying to compete with Mercedes
and Ferrari, like the big name guys. So it's
fun to watch. I'm assuming the answer here is
yes, but Formula One has always been kind of
like a world that I've been just outside of,
but I know nothing about. Somebody has been a
totally new viewer to the sport. Could I jump
in on this series, you think? Yeah, I mean. The
only racer I knew heading into this was Lewis
Hamilton, who's the biggest name in the sport
right now. What about Will Power? Or Max Power?
Whatever his name is. Isn't that Homer Simpson
Max Power? Max Verstappen? No, there's a Power.
Okay. I don't know. I'll look it up a different
time. We're good. Is it a higher power? I would
say this. So what they do, Andre, is they basically...
construct the narrative around the people more
so than around the races. The races are obviously
the tipping points of when people get fired or
traded or whatever. But really like the very
first introduction that you get is a driver for
Red Bull at the time, Danny Ricardo, who is just
the most personable dude. He lives in Australia
and that's where the season was opening that
year. And it was so much fun for us to like watch
him in his home environment. all to see it go
to shit in the actual race. No spoilers, but
that's just how the whole thing starts. It's
really gripping. And the actual storytelling
of the races themselves improves over time. They
learn how to shoot it better. And I think they
get more access in terms of different camera
angles and all that. But it's really, really
well done. And in the later seasons, they open
up access to the top drivers like Lewis Hamilton
and all those other guys. So I could not recommend
it more. Formula One, drive to survive. Nice.
So cash. Cash. We need to hear you say the word.
Straight cash, homie. Nice. Well, that's four
caches. Wow. That might be the first time. Yeah,
that might be the first time we've had four caches.
Well, I guess that brings us to the end of our
episode. Episode 34. Yeah. Thank you for listening
to Game for a Movie, where we ask, are you game
for a movie? I've been your host, Mike. I've
been joined by Jill, Andre, Mitchell. We'll see
you next time on Game for a Movie. Bye. Bye.
Cash for trash. Cash for trash. This is for cash
or trash. I love it.