That sound is definitely not a Coors Light being
opened. That is the sound of a good beer and
a good podcast. Really? Welcome to Game for a
Movie, guys. The power of audio. The power of
audio. You can't tell what it is. It's definitely
not a Coors Light, though. Definitely not, no.
Because we are craft beer drinkers. I am your
host, Mike. I am joined by... Andre. Mitchell.
Welcome. Everybody? Yeah. We are drinking. Yeah,
what are you drinking over here? I am drinking
a Harpoon IPA. Why like carpet? Actually, you
are. I am actually drinking. I have a Coors Light
open so I can just like double fist it. Oh, right.
I'm sure those go great together. I'm sure they
do not. Oh my God. It's just a watered down Harpoon.
Indeed it is. Yeah, you're right. Andre, what
are you drinking? I am also drinking a Harpoon,
some Hootie Tootie Craft IPA, and then Claire
told me that I needed to - Hootie Tootie? Hootie
Tootie. I've heard hoity -toity. Hoity -toity,
hooty -tooty. Hooty -tooty? Yeah. Okay. Is that
the same thing? Yeah. Are you mispronouncing
this beer? Maybe. I don't know. There is hooty.
You pronounce Kerslite. Kerslite, hooty -tooty,
hooty -toity. Mitchell, what are you drinking
over there? I got Jungle Crush by our friends
from City Steam Brewery. What is City Steam?
Yeah, so it's a fruitier IPA, and I actually
like that. So I am just having a good old time
over there. There we go. Fantastic. If it's not
me biting into a hop, that taste, I don't want
it. Oh, you just want to drink pine cones? I
just want, no, I want like a hop in my hand.
Just grab a bite. Really get your taste buds
going. We are missing a member. Our most popular
member. Oh, by far. Dude, yeah, right. This is
terrible for our social media outreach right
now, honestly. How the hell is T -Dog our most
popular member? I think it's because... I agree.
He's likable, and also he's not on every episode,
right? So it's kind of like you know. It's applying
to me. Right, right, right. He's like the cameo
guy. He's like you're waiting for that crossover
episode. T -Dog's that crossover episode. So
I'll never be the favorite, huh? No, unfortunately
not. It's like in The League where Taco was my
favorite character, and he would have, or like
in The Office, Creed is maybe my second favorite
character, and he has like five lines in an episode.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's
play our favorite game. Where is T -Dog? Oh,
shit. That was him bumping underneath the table.
I was trying to do a drumroll. Is he haunting
this apartment? He is. He haunts my dreams. He
really does. I have a theory about where he is.
Okay. He got transformed into a cat. Oh, okay.
And is the winner that goes to the heaven side
lair. Oh, spoilers. Dude, what the fuck? I was
going to watch that movie. Let me tell you right
now, no, you weren't. You're right, you're right.
We've got more on that movie later. That is the
bad movie that I had to see for this lovely podcast
of ours. Damn it, Tom Hooper. If I knew I was
going to have to see Cats, we would not have
this podcast. Yeah, sure enough. My theory on
where T -Dog is is that he is now a dilapidated
dwarf skeleton in the depths of the Mines of
Moria. That is Aussie specific and I feel like
it alludes to something. You know, I might have
just been boning up on my fantasy. I don't know.
Just for no apparent reason whatsoever. Okay.
Boning up on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways,
that's where he is. Got it. Just dead. And Mitchell,
do you have a theory? Yeah, I've been reading
T -Dog's blog, and it turns out he's in his third
week of getting through The Irishman. So he's
still finishing that. He actually wants to contribute
to this podcast. You know, like, you can only
take it in five -minute chunks. So I get how
it's taken him so long. Oh, poor T -Dog. But
he's getting through it, you know? Slowly but
surely. Hey, good for him. Hop is still around,
so he still has some ways to go. Right, right,
right. Oof, wow, yeah. We've got some lovely
movies to talk about this podcast. Are they lovely?
Some of them. Yeah. More than others. I will
be talking about Cats at the end, but I did see
another movie I just want to talk about as a
genre whole. Yes. Because I had some very strong
opinions about this genre versus the... movie
I saw itself. So, I will start with that, then
we'll go to Andre Mitchell, and then close with
Cats. Yes. Stick around, because you won't regret
it. I know you did. I definitely did. The movie
I have to talk about first is The Gentleman.
Yes. The Gentleman is a gangster comedy. written
by Guy Ritchie and directed by Guy Ritchie. I
was going to say. It has Matthew McConaughey
and what's his name? It has Michelle Dockery.
Yes. It has Henry Golding. He is, besides Brad
Pitt, my man crush. He is very attractive. Yes,
he is. Yes. And they also have Charlie Hunnam.
Yes. And Jeremy Strong and Colin Farrell. Those
are the big names that I wanted to get out there.
A lot of talented folks. A lot of talented folks.
Oh, and Hugh Grant. Oh, whoa. Is he a smaller
role? No, he is a big role. Oh, okay, cool. So,
basic story. Matthew McConaughey owns the Weed
Empire in London, and he's trying to get out
of it and retire. He has a potential buyer lined
up, and... Hugh Grant's character goes to Charlie
Hunnam to warn him that, like, hey, I've got
this story. We're going to take him down. You
should get out now. Because I don't know what
their relationship is. Is weed illegal in the
UK? Yes. I guess. Okay. That's my number one
question. Yes. It is illegal. Gotcha. Okay. It
does take place today, so... So I'm assuming
it's still illegal. Yeah, it's still illegal,
I'm guessing. Yeah. I feel that. Somebody asked
me because their costumes are a little older
looking if it took place in a different time
period. But no, they all have cell phones. There's
a big side plot where they accidentally kill
somebody and these kids take pictures of it.
And they're like, we can't get busted with this.
We need the cell phones. Gotcha. So we're playing
with modern technology. Yes. So here's my problem
with the gangster comedy. I don't get how it
gives a writer... carte blanche to just be racist
homophobic interesting because like i i don't
care if it's like a it's fast talking that kind
of stuff even if it's just kind of jokes here
or there yeah but it's just sometimes just mean
intent like the guy calls the guy a black cunt
damn like it's you know and um the one line that
stuck with me about uh henry golden is They were
talking about him. His name is Dry Eye. That's
his nickname in the movie. And it's totally shot
at his eyes because he is Asian. And there's
a line where literally they say, I don't care
if the fuckers Japanese, Cantonese, Pekingese,
just get them fucking here. And you know, it's
just, it's like. It rubs you the wrong way. It
does. Yeah. Interesting. I did not expect that,
I guess. Who was delivering those lines? Is that
McConaughey, or is it just whoever? That was
a henchman. Okay. Like, white henchman, like,
stereotypical. So, a guy you're supposed to hate?
Like, you know, like, you're supposed to hate
this character anyway? No, he's not. He's just
a side character. Gotcha. You know, he's not,
like, a hateable guy. Yeah. It's just kind of
one of those side characters, you know? I see.
I see. And it's... I don't know. What I don't
like about this is, in this genre, I feel like
they always have to go racist, homophobic dialogue.
Right. And also, usually, a little bit sexist
as well. That's the one thing this movie didn't
do. That is a weird choice. Okay. Right. I don't
know. It's called The Gentleman, so yes, it is
about the gentleman. But at the same time, Michelle
Dockery's character is the wife of Matthew McConaughey.
And whenever he has a decision to make, they're
always consorting with each other. They're always
talking. She runs her own business, but she also
is a part of his. And it's one of those things
where it's not like it's a, hey, listen here,
this is what I'm going to do because I'm the
man. It's, what do you think I should do? You
know, like that kind of stuff. Gotcha. And so
it's a little more... It's not as sexist. It's
hashtag woke, but only for gender. For gender,
exactly. Everything else is like, yeah. I feel
like Guy Ritchie had a lot of pent -up racism
to get out when he was making Aladdin. Oh, my
God. After Aladdin made a billion dollars, he's
just like, you know what I should do. You know
what I need to do. While I have this good karma,
I'm going to go the exact opposite. You need
to neutralize this out. That's interesting, huh?
Because I wouldn't necessarily think you as kind
of like an overly PC kind of person, right? Right.
So the fact that you're coming back with this
movie, the fact that you were kind of like cringing
at it, that's... I just don't care for it in
the genre as a whole. Like, I like a good shoot
-em -up or, like, you know, that kind of stuff
where people are just like, oh, I talked to Billy
and he did this and blah, blah, blah, and, like,
that kind of stuff. And, like, you know, it's...
I want to see that movie. Yeah. But, you know,
like, it's told as a story to Charlie Hunnam,
like, hey, this is what I found out. Here's the
information. And then it kind of, like, retells
it. Got it. You know what I mean? Like, there's
even a part where he makes a script. for them
to read together about a situation, you know?
Oh, okay. Got it. So it's the characters, Henry
Golden and Jeremy Strong, are having a conversation,
and they're recreating it. It's Hugh Grant's
voice and Charlie Hunnam's voice doing the parts
for them. Gotcha. It's kind of like the... Carlos
Pena, or Carlos Pena. I don't know who I'm forgetting
the actor's name. Michael Pena? Michael Pena,
thank you. Carlos Pena was a baseball player.
Yes, he was. Michael Pena in Ant -Man. Yes, exactly.
Are you talking like that kind of trope? Okay,
gotcha, gotcha. I mean, like, it works. That
was one of my favorite scenes, actually. Oh,
those are fun. It's drunk history. Exactly. It's
great. And, like, it was, it's... because Hugh
Grant goes all out about it, like, no, no, no,
you've got to actually put some emphasis into
it, have some emotion, like, you know, that kind
of stuff. Because he originally just reads it
like, yeah, the meeting went poorly. No, no,
no, no, no, do it again. You know, like that
kind of stuff. So it was kind of fun, but overall,
gentlemen, two out of five. Wow, okay. Machine
guns, and not because of the movie itself, it
was fine, it's just I feel dirty after watching
it. Gotcha, gotcha. Wow, surprising. It's not
a lot of it. It's actually on the tamer side
for that. Sure, but it just looked a bad taste
in your mouth. Yeah, it did. Guy Ritchie's so
hit or miss with me. He really is. I enjoyed
Aladdin, but I would not call it... great movie
no i don't know he would either like i mean i
feel like it was just doing what it was meant
to do i suppose but yeah he recreated it slightly
like it's a little different but it's like they
made that movie yeah yeah i think that's one
of those movies though there's a lot of notes
from the studio like you're totally making it
on someone else's terms you know what i mean
this one definitely he's free yeah he's producer
writer guy richie unchained yeah exactly man
But I will say this. I enjoyed The Man From U
.N .C .L .E. from a couple years ago. I think
it's under a scene. I think it's a funny buddy
cop type movie. Yeah. Obviously based on like
a spy show from the 60s. And it's this fun IP
to play with. And then Snatch, which has a lot
of racist and sexist things in it. Brad Pitt
is in it, though. It's another movie like Snatch.
Yeah. Where it can be done well, but it is, again,
you feel dirty at the end of it. Right. In Snatch,
I feel they really put you in this world. and
it's so, it feels authentic, which might be the
difference here. I'm not sure if Matthew McConaughey,
is he putting on a British accent here? No. Oh,
no. He's totally supposed to be American. He
just sucks up to lords and ladies. Like, he's
just that guy. Oh, I guess Brad Pitt is American,
too. He's just doing a gypsy accent. But anyway,
it's crazy. Yeah. So anyway, Guy Ritchie, hit
him this guy. Yeah. At least by my standards.
I will say, it is very not, like, long, drawn
-out Texas drawl with McConaughey. It's not his
normal accent. But, you know, it's American.
You can tell it's American. I see. Okay. So,
Andre, you saw a movie at some point. I did.
I am so bad at watching new movies. All I do
is watch old ones. And I am, I guess I'm two
-thirds of the way through my watch of the Lord
of the Rings trilogy, extended edition, with
my lovely girlfriend, Jill. Yeah. Dude. Dude,
it's... Okay, so I guess context. This is the
first time sitting down and watching all three
of these movies sequentially extended basically
ever. Okay. Obviously... You didn't see these
as a kid. So, okay, I did. I watched... Let's
see. I watched The Return of the Kings in theaters
when it came out. You just skipped to the end.
No, no, no. So it's tough, right? Because when
that came out, I was like nine. And I kind of,
I think at that point we had the first, we had
The Fellowship of the Ring on DVD or whatever.
Yeah, it was DVD. And I watched that. I did not
watch Two Towers. I know that for a fact. And
then I watched Return of the King in theaters
because I was like literally like, oh, we're
about to go to this movie. Like we're going to
go to the movie theaters to see this. I guess
I'll watch, you know. The biggest movie of that
year. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And then, obviously,
being, like, I mean, you absorb a lot of the
overall plot, the clip notes from cultural osmosis.
Yeah. I mean, obviously, Lord of the Rings has
been, like, a template for basically all fantasy
since it came out. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. So, up
until this point, Lord of the Rings is an IP.
It's something that I've always super respected,
and, like, it's kind of untouchable because,
you know, it was kind of the grandfather of the
whole entire genre. Right. To me, it always felt
a little generic because so many other properties
had taken so much influence from it that it kind
of retroactively dulled Lord of the Rings for
me, going back to it, if that makes any sense.
Because it wasn't your first experience with
it. Exactly, and it's not Lord of the Rings'
fault at all. It's because it was so influential.
It's like, okay, I played World of Warcraft,
and I'm just like, oh, this is like World of
Warcraft, but slightly more, you know, meh. Yeah,
exactly, right. So I played WoW, and I gotta
say, Lord of the Rings is really derivative.
Yeah, right, exactly. It is totally not the Leroy
Jenkins I expected. Right, yeah, I just, I mean,
hashtag not my Leroy Jenkins. I mean, they could
have gotten, yeah, I don't know. He's a hero
we didn't deserve. But the one we need right
now. Right. And it's like, and I've watched bits
and pieces of all the movies, just, but with
various states of inebriation and stuff like
that, because we do drinking games with Lord
of the Rings or something like that with my college
friends and stuff, but whatever. This is the
first time sitting down, actually watching them
all in a row with my girlfriend, Jo, who is an
absolute Tolkien head. She pretty much, like,
it's kind of funny. watching these movies with
her it's like kind of watching it with the DVD
commentary on because she'll just have like little
like little cliff note things oh you mean they
did this yeah yeah yeah exactly like this is
how like specifically the production of like
the sets and stuff like that and it's been and
I love it like she's like you can tell me to
shut up at any time and like just enjoy the movie
like no like it adds to the experience I think
did she read the books she did yes oh wow yeah
yeah she I could be misquoting her, but I believe
she prefers to watch the movies in terms of consuming
that media now. Not to say that that replaces
the books, but she'll more readily re -watch
the movies than going back to the books because
the books are just a lot. I remember I tried
to through The Hobbit and I just couldn't do
it. They're dead. That's the only one I read
is The Hobbit. Okay, yeah. And I enjoyed it.
Um, so I was able to get through it, but yeah,
there was definitely dense chapters in there
because there's so much lore that J .R .R. Tolkien
puts in there, which Peter Jackson strips, you
know, the content a little bit to make it better
for a movie. Yeah. So I think that's a, I think
it's a good call by Joe. I mean, like, I think
obviously the, the films are one thing. Yes.
And it's like, they're totally distinct. pieces
of media. Do you know if she's read The Silmarillion?
I believe she's, again, could be misquoting her,
I believe she's read parts of it, but not the
entirety of it. Because if you want to really
get into this world, I'm sorry, you gave him
a nerd? Nerd! I just know of it. Does it matter?
Nerd! Because I watch these movies with the director
commentary. Yeah. We will reference it at times.
Right, right, right. Yeah. No, and we also, like,
we listen to, she showed me one of her favorite
Tolkien podcasts, I believe. Oh, gosh. I'm blanking
on the name of it. I'm sorry. Whatever. We'll
add in the show notes later or something. Months
later. They were specifically breaking down scenes
of the movie and how they differed from the book,
and it's super fascinating how deep... Oh, we
don't like this specific line from this character
because they didn't use the Anglo -Saxon word.
What was it? No parent should have to bury their
child. It's like, oh, they didn't use... They
didn't use the right Anglo -Saxon phrasing of
it that Tolkien would have used. It's like, whoa,
we're going in the weeds on this one. Anyways,
super long tangent, but whatever. All I'll say
is that as somebody who's going into this relatively
fresh, these movies hold up really well, I think.
I should say I'm through the first two, extended
edition. We are going to watch The Return of
the King in the very near future. But yeah, I
mean, it's kind of refreshing in a really weird
way to watch like a fantasy. be part of a fantasy
world that's not full of ultra -violence. It's
still pretty violent, but ultra -violence and
sex and cursing and shit like that. And not to
say that I don't usually mind those things, but
I feel like Game of Thrones has really kind of
shifted the tone of an average fantasy. IP is
nowadays. It's not as positive as it was. Right.
Even in Lord of the Rings, you always felt like
there was a character that brought you the happiness.
Like, even in its darkest times. Oh, yeah, you're
talking about Samwise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Samwise
Kanji. Yeah, basically. Game of Thrones definitely
doesn't have a Samwise Kanji. And Game of Thrones
is a response to Lord of the Rings. Absolutely.
Like, a lot of the tropes they purposely go against
because it's like... as you were saying, a lot
of this is established from Lord of the Rings
and George R .R. Martin wanted to change things
around and it surprises readers. So it's in the
direct response to that. type of storytelling.
Right, but because of that, because of how huge
Game of Thrones got, it's kind of become, not
rote, but it's like, okay, that's the default
now, is that it's a dark fantasy is now default,
right? It's a new standard. Yes, and so it's
been refreshing to just kind of, you know, watch
him, like, you know, experience a journey that's
not going to, like, I don't know, it's... it's
just fun to watch these characters go on their
journey, and it's still emotional when you have
those big character scenes, like Boromir's death,
I mean, obviously, like, Aragorn mourning the
supposed loss of his hobbit friends, like, just,
I don't know, like, it's just a lot of fun to
see these actors be in their element, because
you can definitely tell that everybody who's
in this movie is really going for it, because
it's so huge to them, right? So, I mean, acting,
obviously, out of this world, I mean, honestly,
honestly, the only thing that's kind of unfortunate
about it is that some of the visual effects have
aged, like, kind of a lot. It's been 20 years.
Which is crazy to me, man. It's been almost 20
years. I will say, on the positive note on the
VFX, like, Gollum still holds up really well.
I mean, and that's clearly where they... put
most of their focus the VFX team did because
like Gollum is center stage like on screen for
a lot of Two Towers and I'm assuming Return of
the King and just like the fact that he didn't
take me out of the movie like oh man that looks
kind of rough like it was it's pretty impressive
and obviously Andy Serkis this is kind of was
like his standout first breakout performance
I feel like this is where people started paying
attention to him as a mocap actor 100 % yeah
but I mean stuff like Stuff like the Ents, like,
every Ent that's not Treebeard looks kind of
rough. The Trolls in the Mines of Moria look
kind of rough. And, yeah, just some kind of,
I don't know, some sort of obviously green -screened
-ish effects kind of happen. It's like, oh, oof,
that kind of, like, little whiplash. But, whatever,
those are obviously nitpicks. set designers out
of this world. The fact that they filmed on location
out in New Zealand is awesome. Mitchell, you've
done... I've been there. You're right. I've been
to a lot of the scenes where... Well, first off,
the tourism... Nerd! In Rotorua, I totally deserve
it. Rotorua, they actually still have the town
of Hobbiton that they built for the practical
set of shooting the exteriors and whatnot. And
it's such a cool experience. They have the Green
Dragon, which is the local bar, which they...
it into a real bar and after you're done with
your tour you can have some mead or some ale
or whatever it's awesome it's so cool uh but
yeah it's it's um it's still a huge point of
national pride you can definitely feel just like
this movie was shot here uh like there was a
crew that literally spent like over a year building
hobbiton for both the exteriors and all the other
things that you would see around that area and
they actually also rebuilt a lot of it for the
hobbit so when they filmed that trilogy because
they actually tore a lot of it down after the
original lord of the rings was done and then
when peter jackson came back to do the hobbit
trilogy they had to rebuild a lot of it but the
shire is beautiful to go through and then in
wellington which is the what i would call the
hollywood of new zealand that's where weta which
is the studio that peter jackson owns they filmed
a lot of shots there and um i took a tour and
i'm going all around the city where they shot
different things and it's fun to know that yes
there's a lot of cgi and it was groundbreaking
for the time a lot of the effects especially
of showing scale of Gandalf to the hobbits a
lot of it is forced perspective which is old
school filmmaking and I think it's so cool that
they you know are using that for sure and as
a small tangent I think didn't they build like
two different versions of Bag End, like Bilbo's
Home, one for Ian McKellen and one for, I forget
his name, but obviously Bilbo, right? Just to
force that, just to show how towering Gandalf
was over Bilbo. It was really cool, old school
filmmaking, and it works. Really cool. Really,
really cool stuff. Yeah, I guess personal, really
quick personal thoughts. So I finished Fellowship
of the Ring, and that's easily the film I'm most
familiar with because that's the one I've watched
kind of the most times, and again, various bits
and pieces of it. And it's, like, kind of, that
one is, not to knock on it, but it's, like, the
most kind of, I would say, boxed in is too harsh
of a word. But, like, that is, like, I was like,
okay, cool. Like, this is a fun movie. You know,
I enjoy myself. Glad to hear this because I can't
go back and watch it. Really? Why not? So, well,
when this came out, I was a kid. Oh, okay. You
know, and, like, we went and saw it in theaters.
You did. None of us expected it to be a sequel.
We were all used to... Oh, what? Oh, you didn't
know it was a trilogy? We didn't know it was
going to be a trilogy. And so it's just one of
those movies that you get to the end, and we
have seen sequels before, but each movie is still
finally wrapped up where it's like, okay, good
guy wins, whatever. It's not a continuation story.
And that book ends with Boromir dying, or that
movie, rather, ends with Boromir dying, and they're
just like, all right, well, I guess we're going
to continue on. And so we left. Absolutely pissed.
Yeah. And I still have that in my head. That's
funny. And I can't go back and watch it, even
though now I know, obviously, it's a continuation.
That was my first movie experience with a continuation
storyline. That's really funny. You're like,
I was being, I'm trying to wonder, like, you
halfway through, you're like, wow, they're taking
a really long time to get to this mountain. Like,
what the hell? Like, what the hell? They get
to this mountain and destroy the ring. Yeah.
Wait, what? To be continued. Fuck this! I had
a similar experience, different reaction. Me,
my mom, and my stepdad, Ralph, saw it in D .C.
We were just happening to be vacationing there.
They had both wanted to see it. And I think they
both knew it was part of a trilogy. Okay, yeah.
They just knew it was a part of a book series
or whatever. So I'm watching it. And dude, where
it ends, Fellowship of the Ring, it's after this
climactic battle. All this emotional payoff is
happening. Or maybe not even payoff. It's just
emotional stuff is happening. And you just hear
the groans in the theater. It's like, oh, we
need more. It wasn't like they were pissed at
the movie. They just wanted more. It literally
ends with Sam and Frodo. comforting each other
as they look on to the journey forth through.
And they start walking. Yeah, they start walking
and you're like, whoa, what? Yeah. And so, like,
four kids at this point, like, we were just dropped
off by the parents, you know, and it was, wait,
what? Wow. My parents weren't there. Nobody's
parents were there. I think I got primed before.
I don't know. Like, I just remember. wanting
more movie, but not expecting more movie, if
that makes sense. See, we had no clue. None of
us had any clue. That is rough. I don't talk
with these guys anymore, otherwise I would wonder
if they feel the same. But for me, it's hard
for me to go back to that movie. Gotcha. The
podcast is called The Prancing Pony. That's the
one that we... Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. That's
where they meet... Aragorn, right? Aragorn. That's
it. There it lines up. Anyways. So, yeah, so
I finished Fellowship of the Ring, and that's
the one I'm most familiar with before going into
this. I'm like, yeah, okay, that was fun, and
I'm down for more. But I was like, okay, and
we took a while to get to the second, like to
get to Two Towers, and then finally I'm like,
okay, it's time, we have an afternoon, let's
start watching the Two Towers. And I kind of
found myself asking Jill more questions about,
like, oh, okay, so, like, where's this location
in relation to here, you know? Right. I was just
like, where's Rohan in relation to Gondor, in
relation to Mordor as, blah, blah, blah. Well,
there's a map. Exactly, right. Well, I'm, and
then that's kind of where I found myself invested
enough to build my own mental map of Middle -earth.
Nice. And that was kind of, the last time I had
done that was Game of Thrones, really. Yeah.
With a fantasy series, right? Sure. So that's
kind of, like, where... I kind of realized, like,
okay, yeah, obviously there's still a lot of
magic in this story, right? Yeah. So... Yeah,
I just, I don't know, I would say Two Towers,
personally, if you're gonna, like, I, right now,
that's currently my favorite of the two, uh,
just because I, I think it has a little bit more
interesting, it has a little, a little bit more
stuff going on, I love the whole subplot with
Rohan, uh, even though, like, Skyrim totally
just pulled so much from Rohan, basically, like,
the, the, like, that kind of aesthetic. Spoilers,
I'm only, like, half an hour into Skyrim. Yeah,
well, you know, you kind of. How many hours is
it? I don't know, like, uh. Hours and hours and
hours. I know. a big game it's like 20 it's like
20 hours if you burned through it but it could
be hundreds i don't know whatever yeah like if
you don't do any side quests or anything like
that but it's so it's so funny how much skyrim
elder scrolls in general just pulled straight
from token like so much um And yeah, and then
obviously, and then honestly, like the battle
of Helm's Deep, like it's legendary for a reason
like that. When like, when the battle was about
to start and I, and like, and Jill's like, oh
yeah, we got about like 50 minutes left. I'm
like, oh my God, what? How is that going to get,
how are we going to get through 50 minutes of
just battling? And it didn't feel like that.
It felt snappy. Because they're telling a story.
Like it is the best example of storytelling through
fight sequences. Exactly. It's so well done.
Right. Yeah. It makes me kind of wish that. Maybe
the MCU could have somehow pulled that off a
little bit better with the final fights. Like,
imagine if Endgame had a 50 -minute fight scene
that didn't feel like that. You know what I mean?
Right. I couldn't imagine an MCU movie pulling
that kind of thing off. Well, Endgame, like,
almost did, right? Like, that last battle with
Thanos took a long time, but it also dragged.
But it dragged, though. Right. I did even feel,
even with all that emotional stuff going on,
I was like, oh, okay, we've been here for a while.
You know, I did not feel that way. You have those
different beats that are like, oh, yeah, I'm
back invested, but then it's like, okay, why
are we doing this part? Yeah, right, right. It's
like, oh cool and kind of glaze over a little
bit not to shit on Endgame Endgame is fantastic
it's fun but it's on a lot of our best of 2019
list it's not meant to be but I finished Helms
Deep well we finished the movie and I was like
oh that wow okay that was it like man okay 50
minutes, but it's 50 minutes that go quickly.
Yeah, it was exactly the right length, even with
the extended edition, right? I would say some
of the extended scenes, like, you can definitely
tell, like, oh, yeah, this was definitely extended,
was not in the theatrical cut. I could feel that.
It's still fun, and I like the... Does it look
unfinished? No, no, no, no, no, no. It doesn't
look unfinished. It's more like a, oh, like,
we are... Like, there's, like, a flashback with
Boromir and his brother that, like, were hanging
out in Gondor a little bit. I'm like, this definitely
feels like... This was... definitely cut, you
know? Yeah. Yeah. Not in terms of, like, visual,
but, like, just story, like, narrative -wise,
but Helm's Deep didn't have any of that, you
know? Like, it was all killer, no filler. It
sounds like you're enjoying this. All killer,
no filler. Uh, I'm having a good time with it.
Yeah, I'm having a good time. What would you
give ranking -wise? It's tough. It is tough to
put down, put it, uh, like, down a specific,
uh, rank, I guess. I would say, uh, let's give
Fellowship four, um, let's say four scary Bilbo's
out of five. Scary. That scared the crap out
of me as a kid. That scared the crap out of me
as an adult. And then I'll do Two Towers. four
and a half tree beards out of five. Nice. Two
times my favorite one. Yeah? Yeah. But it's all
close. It's all... It's all close, exactly. And
giving these a number is kind of irrelevant because
these movies... The number one thing I take away
is that these movies, to me, are probably going
to be timeless for a really long time because
I'm enjoying myself a lot now. There's a lot
of love and effort into it and it still stands
the test of time. Definitely. Glad to be more
invested in the Lord of the Rings. I can't wait
to hear about your thoughts on Return of the
King now that you watch it with the sequels or
the... previous movies in mind. Yeah, right,
right. Now that I'm not just a nine -year -old
being like, there's a lot of stuff happening
and I have no idea. I just want to go back home
and watch Yu -Gi -Oh. Like, literally, that's
what I was thinking. I was like, this isn't Yu
-Gi -Oh. I just, I want to go home and watch
some of that. Where's the blue eyes white dragon?
I'm like, well, look, I'm in the middle of Battle
City Arc. Man, I want to find out what happens
to that. I don't care about this Aragorn dude.
Whatever. Oh, man, that's a reference I didn't
understand. Some more Yu -Gi -Oh nerds out there.
Nerd! A lot of nerd alerts in this podcast. Yeah.
I saw that coming, but yeah. I feel like we're
not done with it, though. No, but okay. Well,
mine's on a nerd thing. No, no, no. I wasn't
even calling you out. Oh. I get to release my
musical theater nerd later. Oh, that's right.
I'm looking forward to it. That's true. I'm calling
out myself. Fair enough. Mitchell, you have seen
a lot. What are you going to choose? Yeah, so
I've seen a lot, and all the movies I'm about
to say out loud, I definitely recommend to people.
1917, worth the hype. So Roger Deakins does it
again as the director of photography here. It's
supposed to look like it's all one shot. I know
a lot of film bros love geeking out on that.
And the technical part of it is awesome. It's
very awesome. But I love it in this case because
it actually adds to the story. So it serves the
story. I thought the acting was fantastic. It's
incredibly heartbreaking at times. It's uplifting.
It's everything a war movie tends to be. And
it's just done at a fantastically high level.
So it's a top ten movie for me. Not top five,
but still really well worth the watch. It's probably
going to win Best Picture. I don't know. It just
feels like a Best Picture movie for the Oscars.
So 1917 for sure. Little Women. A lot of folks
on Twitter have definitely been hyping this movie
up. They want Greta Gerwig to get a Best Director
nomination. I absolutely... fucking 100 % agree
this is her follow -up to leap and she also wrote
this movie as well and she's adapting it from
a classic novel and what she does as a screenwriter
and she did get nominated for adaptive screenplay
Fingers crossed she'll win. She reorders a lot
of the sequences in the book, because the book
is all chronological, and this is non -sophisticated
at all. In the film, she reorders everything
to match more thematically, more so than plot
-wise. Okay. And it is that mastery of tone and
storytelling that's a lot of big moments in the
film. And Greta Gerwig had her fingerprints over
it, and I think it's a costume drama that might
be derivative of it. But it's an amazing movie.
Everyone should watch it. But the movie I'm going
to talk about today. Okay. is Uncut Gems. Oh
boy. Because if Twitter had another movie that
it was pissed about not getting the love from
the Oscars that it deserved, it was Uncut Gems.
I'm a sailor. Adam Sandler blew me away. Blew
me away. And I'll say this. I have seen him in
pretty dramatic roles before, and Punch Truck
Love is the number one thing that comes to mind.
Working with the master director and Paul Thomas
Anderson in that one. But this movie is more
than dramatic. It asks for him to pull into his
funny bone and really just carry the movie. For
what a lot of people say about Locke, Joaquin
Phoenix in Joker, which is he is in every frame.
He is the emotional core to this thing. And he
does the heavy lifting of carrying the entire
film. Adam Sandler does the same thing in Uncut
Gems. In Uncut Gems, he is in this, and I feel
like this is a role that was tailor -made for
him, and the Safi brothers did write the role
with him in mind 10 years ago. So it took them
a very long time, one, to get the cred to be
directors who could approach Adam Sandler for
a film, and sure enough, ended up working out.
So his role, for those who don't know, Uncut
Gems is set in New York City back in about 2012.
Adam Sandler plays a jeweler who works in diamond
row, and he is a really shady guy. I'll say that.
So he gets a lot of his diamonds from really,
you know, like you want to talk about blood diamonds,
this guy is all about that. Okay. And the uncut
gem, the physical one, because really Adam Sandler
himself is the uncut gem here. I see what you
did there. Oh, okay, nice. The actual uncut gem
is from Ethiopia, dug up by black Jews as he's
presenting this rock to Kevin Garnett, who is
amazing, by the way. Whoa, yeah, he pulls it
off? Yeah, absolutely. Nice. So I'll get to him
a little bit later. But this uncut gem is the
MacGuffin of this entire movie. And it's what
it's named after. So he gets into, basically
he presents this to Kevin Garnett and he says,
KG, this is my next million dollar sale. It's
like a billion carats or whatever. It's the greatest
piece of stone that I've ever gotten. And it
took me 18 months to get it. And KG is holding
this. He's mesmerized by this. There's a great
scene where he's looking into the stone and he
has this trip. flashback of his life. It was
like, I need to have this. Because in this film,
he's playing in the Eastern Conference Finals
against the Philadelphia 76ers. He's like, I
need this for tonight. Sure enough, it's Kevin
Garnett. You can't say no. He takes the stone
for free. He takes it for free. He's like, I'm
going to get it back to you by Friday. And that's
where this whole thing sets off. Oh, wow. So
he is, Adam Sandler not only deals a lot of jewelry,
he also bets a shit ton of money on sports. Sounds
about right. So what Kevin Garnett left as collateral
for this uncut gem was his 2008 championship
Celtics ring. So he leaves it with... adam sandler
and he immediately pawns it so he can get money
to bet on the celtics that night because kevin
garnett has his son he's like kevin kg ain't
losing and that is basically the entire movie
Over and over again. Adam Sandler gets himself
into a position where he has money, he has something
worth holding on to, and he places a bet on it.
And he keeps upping the stakes over and over
again. I'm getting anxious just thinking about
it. It is a two -hour anxiety trip. And it is
masterful directing. It's great acting from Adam
Sandler. And here is my shout -out to Kevin Garnett.
It is incredibly hard, or at least... from what
I've seen, it's incredibly hard for famous people
to play themselves on camera. Because a lot of
times these guys will come out wooden. They're
just trying to deliver the line. Not to tangent,
but have you seen those NBA 2K clips from the
story mode? Oh, it's so bad. Oh, I got so bad.
A lot of them, it's like, oh, here's Donovan
Mitchell. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? It's
me, known NBA player Donovan Mitchell. Yeah,
it's just like, it's rough. Yeah. And I'm not
even sure if Donnie is in 2K. Right, right, no.
No. I just love Donovan Mitchell. Sorry, man.
Sorry, Don. It's just because he's your favorite.
Yeah, I love Donovan Mitchell. I know you do.
Because of my name. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Because
of my name. He plays a lot like Dwayne Wade.
I don't know. He reminds me of a young D. Wade.
But anyway, Kevin Garnett comes onto the scene,
and he has the charisma that you would expect
from a guy like him. He dominates the room that
he's in just because of how tall he is, especially
in the jewelry scenes where he's in the store.
And I'll say this, one of the tensest moments
in the film. It's not about... adam sandler placing
a bet it's not when he has a mob boss with a
gun waving in his face okay it's when he's trying
to get kevin garnett and his crew into this jewelry
store which is you know it has like a magnetic
door because there's a lot of very expensive
jewelry in there you have to hit a button to
let them in um for whatever reason the door was
not working and they for like a couple minutes
are just scrambling to try and get this door
to open and it's everything cutting from the
music from kg yelling at him and kg's so fucking
big in this Cage. It is incredible filmmaking
and my heart was pumping the most probably from
that scene than any other time in the movie.
Kelly could tell you how much I was squirming
in my seat in that particular scene because I
thought KG was going to lose it. Anyway, so Ben
Garnett delivers an amazing performance and the
scene where they're all together because you
see Adam Sandler go through all this stuff. He's
a shitty guy. You're not rooting for him. You're
not rooting for him at all in this movie. You
just want for him to get out of it alive. So
you're not necessarily rooting for him to succeed.
You just want him to live. And there's a scene
where he basically puts out his whole thesis
on life to Kevin Garnett. He's just like, you
know what? What people think of me when I'm putting
bets on this shit, I want to win big. And he's
like, KG, do you want to win by one or do you
want to win by 30? You know, this is how I win.
And he's just like, which is like the big sense
been getting a lot of buzz. Anyway. I can't talk
enough about this movie. Should Adam Sandler
have been nominated for Best Actor? Absolutely.
I'm not sure who you cut, but I would have to
look through the list again. You just add an
additional spot? Oh, by the way, Adam Sandler
should totally be recognized for this. I think
maybe not the Safdie brothers for Best Director,
but I think absolutely it should be for Best
Picture. And what not a lot of people are talking
about him, I really think... I really think this
movie is going to be shown at film schools for
editing. I don't know how you get any of these
guys. Who are the guys? Adam Driver, Marriage
Story. Nope. Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory.
I haven't seen it. Which I haven't seen it, but
I've just heard great things because of him too.
And he's a movie star. Leo for Once Upon a Time.
So good. Jonathan Pryce for The Two Popes. Take
them out! Jonathan Pryce, you're out. God, you're
out of here. You're out. You're done, son. You're
done. Have I seen The Two Popes? No. But I have
seen Uncut Gems. And, of course, Joaquin Phoenix.
Yeah, man, he's going to win. Don't go and have
an Adam Sandler. Get Joaquin Phoenix out of here.
Get that guy out of here. Sorry, Jonathan Pryce.
See ya. It's a crowded field. I get it. Just
put him in Best Actress. They're great. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. That's a whole other set
of problems. So, anyway, Best Editing. They've
done it for Director. I think Best Editing for,
yeah. For 1917, for it being a spectacle of long
takes, this is a master class in showing you
how cutting a film can actually drive narrative
and build tension and drama. I have to go see
this fucking movie. You've sold me on this. Anyway,
I'm going to give this film, by the way, my number
three film of the year, I'm giving it four and
a half. Boston Celtics championship rings. Nice.
There we go. All right. I need to see this movie.
You need to see this movie. I need to see it.
I really want to. I will say this. All the people
that I know who have watched it and did not like
it, it is because they felt that they were having
a heart attack for two hours. Right, I could
see coming out of the movie, like, I could see
someone not enjoying that kind of premise, the
anxiety attack. It is, and I'll argue, that's
what makes the movie so effective. I'm glad I
haven't seen it, like, a day before going into
work or something like that, where I feel like
I'm just exhausted from the movie. Literally,
like, it kind of came out of, like, I was like,
ah, man, yeah, I would, I didn't, it kind of
came out of a time where I was not in the mood
to be super anxious, we'll say that, and it's
like, uh, that's why I kind of slipped me by
a little bit and I'll say this I watched this
in Brooklyn and it was a packed theater which
is awesome and by the way if you've never been
to an Alamo Drafthouse do yourself a favor and
go to one if there's somewhere a theater near
you but it is a great experience everyone was
reacting to the same stuff on screen. It just
felt like a great communal experience watching
this movie. And it wasn't Star Wars, you know?
It was just like a smaller indie movie. I wish
I saw that instead of Star Wars. And even more
so, like, I saw Hobbs and Shaw after The Bachelor
Party at an Alamo draft house. Oh, yeah! And
it was phenomenal because not only is it just
a great experience overall... Yeah, great, fantastic
movie, right. Well, no, no, not that movie. But
before the movie, they did like a basis... Let's
run through the first eight Fast and the Furious
movies, just in case you haven't seen it. And
who the hell Hobbs and Shaw are? And everybody
likes Shaw now, even though he killed Han and
R .I .P. Han. It was just great. And that is
made in -house at Alamo, right? Oh, it's totally
for Alamo Drafthouse, by Alamo Drafthouse, and
it makes it so much better. And I've seen two
films there, and they change it up every time.
Before they hit previews, they have all these
cool, very specific things. When I saw 1917,
one of the things that they played was a short
film made in 1917 and that was a very loose tie
into the movie they did they did a scene like
the most intense scene from Bullet before Hobbs
and Shaw and they like showed it ahead of time
and it was just like this just gets me pumped
let's go action movies yeah right so i don't
know it's it's a fun experience they have beer
and all that kind of stuff which i did yeah beer
yeah well my local amc does not have beer damn
it definitely don't i have to sneak that shit
in along with my cocaine okay like i don't need
to be sneaking in one of those things right for
sure and that of course is the beer so yes skittles
skittles oh put the cocaine in the skittles yeah
my jeez what are we fucking 14 years old sorry
wow right gosh dang i'm sorry my coke in a while.
Yeah, I get it, I get it, I get it. Four and
a half Boston Celtics championship rings. Mike,
there is a movie that we need to talk about right
now. We do not need to talk about it right now.
No, we definitely do. However, there's so many
people in this movie. So let's get it started.
It is a podcast, after all, that talks about
bad movies. Or should I say a podcast? Oh, wow.
Okay. I have been sitting on that joke. Let's
go! Wow, okay, so... We agreed. I rushed here
after work. It was an inconvenience. You didn't
need to rush. I rushed. You did not need to rush.
So that's on you. Yeah, clearly that joke made
me realize I did not need to rush. No, definitely
not. I could have waited until that joke was
said. I don't know what I'm doing here anymore.
Yeah, how do you feel, Andre? Not great, honestly.
I think, Mike, I think you're going to have to
play a game of where the hell are my co -hosts?
Right. I'm going to play a game of somebody's
losing the next challenge. So they have to see
Doolittle or some other shit. Oh, fuck. Doolittle.
No. Is Doolittle better than Cats? They both
have talking animals. They definitely do. They
both are terrible on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, they
don't look good. One of them had to be patched
halfway through. Okay, real quick. Did you watch
the patched or unpatched version? Damn it. Okay.
Yes, because it was patched opening night. You're
right. Yeah, because you had... And they finished
it like hours before, right? Oh, they were doing
it before it, everything like that, and they
did some after. Oh, they did some after. Yes.
Oh, jeez. So what was the patch stuff? Like,
specifically. Who knows, because it didn't make
it. Apparently, what I heard was that CGI models
were clipping through walls. It literally sounds
like a video game. Like, this is what happens
in video games all the time. You push out a game
for release that's broken as shit, and they're
like, okay, wait for our day one patch, they'll
fix all the bugs. It's literally that before
a movie. Movies are video games now. It's great.
So, I have a list of thoughts. I have three positives.
Jesus, that's a long list. That's a long list.
I have three positives. That's more than I thought
you would have, honestly. And 16 negatives. Okay.
Alright, that's not a good ratio. Not a great
ratio. So, are we going to go through the positives
or the negatives first? Positives, go. Yeah,
yeah. Positives, okay. The singing is on point.
Okay, great. Because they're all great, talented
singers. There's one person I have a disagreement
about, but I am willing to forgive her. It is
Dame Judi Dench. She is also... Old as shit.
Sure. Wow. I love her to death. She's old as
shit. Apparently they didn't render her cat fur
on her hands in the first version. That's why
I wanted to see human hands Judy Dench on. She
did still have her wedding ring on, too. Oh,
did she? In the unpatched version, or the patched
version that we got, whatever. With all due respect.
With all due respect. She's old as shit. No,
but she's old as shit. She can't sing no more.
Her vocal cords are wrinkled as shit. And it
wasn't even like it was bad. It's just, it's
not as on par with everybody else that's in this
movie. Yeah. You know, and... Ian McKellen also
probably. Don't talk shit about Ian McKellen,
all right? Also old. He was old in Lord of the
Rings, too. He was old in Lord of the Rings,
right? Also old, so I don't hold this against
either of them. So please, just don't take it
that way. It's just when you're in a movie with
freaking Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, and all
these other singers, you're going to stand out.
And it's not like it's bad. freaking Russell
Crowe and Les Mis. It's not that bad. It's just
okay. They're a step down. They're still high
level. Jennifer Hudson is a goddess. She is outstanding
in this movie. No matter what happens. No matter
what happens. And the CGI cat hair is good. The
cat, like, specifically the hair. Yeah, the hair.
The hair is good. Like, it's very, like, it's
out there, you know? Like, you could see the...
There's singular strands. Okay. Exactly. So,
but you, so the CGI did not take you out of the
movie, then? Or was it just... No, that's not,
that's not what I'm saying. Okay, alright. I
am saying the CGI cat hair... was good. Monster
Zinc's hair was good. Right, yeah. Sully's hair
was really great. That was like 2003? 2004. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. 16 years ago. On to the negatives.
Here we go. So, well, before we get started with
that, I am a musical theater nerd. I love musical
theater. I never have seen Cats. Mostly because
I don't like Cats personally, even though we
live with one that is adorable and likable. Lie
like carpet. Lie like carpet. No, I'm not lying
like carpet. You would, but I'm not. Oh, I hate
cats. I'm telling the truth. I put up with our
cat. Our cat is fine. Good. The story about cats
is always supposed to be vignettes. You get scene,
scene, scene, scene, scene of a different cat.
So the idea is these Jellicle cats gather one
night a year. Where somebody gets sent to the
heaven side lair. Cool. Tight. So they get like
one of their nine lives back? Is that literally
like... No. Are they playing with that? Yeah.
They get a new start. Whatever they may want.
Alright. It sounds like their weak life. Yeah,
right. So, for example, if you wanted to become
a human... Oh, you could choose? Yeah, it's whatever
you want for your life. Oh. What are the mechanics
of this? Like, do you just become an adult man,
like, a human right away, or what? Or do you
just get reborn as a... Are they going with,
like, a... Here's the thing. We don't know. Oh!
That's where they get you. Yeah, right. So...
Gotta find out in Cats 2. Oh, for the love of
God! Each vignette is a different cat. They get
to sing a song in front of old Deuteronomy. who
is played by Dame Judi Dench. Okay. She chooses
a winner. They get whatever they want, or whatever
it is. What's the metrics on which the cats win?
Just coolest song? It's a song about your life,
and she chooses based on that. Oh, so it's like
American Idol, but to live. No, not to live,
but to get to whatever you want. I'm thinking
more of the Rick and Morty episode with the giant
talking planet heads. Show me what you got. Show
me what you got. Boo, not cool. Yeah, there.
Yes. Gitchwifty. Yeah, the Gitchwifty episode.
You're right, exactly. Iconic. Is there a Gitchwifty
song in this movie? There is a song with singing
cockroaches and mice. Yeah, but it's Van Harmon
singing. Right. Oh, my God. CG. I'm just imagining
seeing Nightmare. Imagine a nightmare CGI Dan
Harmon in a cat suit and it's just, I will not
sleep tonight. Thank you for that. So they get
to sing their song. Old dude around him, he chooses
a winner. The ideal is Idris Elba is getting
rid of the cats one by one. So he has no competition
for the contest. I see. So he can win and whatever
he wants. And I can't remember... He sounds like
the good guy in this story. He's the bad guy.
I'll be rooting for him. Wait, you're going to
kill all these things? Oh, yes. Please, keep
going. What I will point out that's kind of accidental,
not on purpose, but it's just one of those things
that stuck out with me, is that all of the bad
cats, or not all of them, but the two bad cats
were of African -American descent. And that is
something that stuck out to me. Ouch. Well, who's
the other one? Jennifer Hudson is seen as an
outcast. But not like a bad cat. Idris Elba's
character is named Macavity. Andrew Lloyd Webber,
yes! She was a famous singer at the Cat Club,
and then she just kind of hitched her wagon to
Idris Elba and got blacklisted by the rest of
the cats. But lots of them did, and none of them
were really blacklisted. No, she sings it. So
she sings it with the other cat who I need to
look up. Oh, there's another cat. Well, there's
a bunch of cats. How many fucking cats are in
this movie? How many cats do I need to kill in
this movie? Right. That's the point. Also, are
there any other anthropomorphic animals in this
movie? There is anthropomorphic mice. Okay. What
about dogs? There is no dogs. Oh, what a good
boy. As the last song... That's the real sequel,
Dogs. Dogs? Puppy pilot. Puppy pilot. And she
saves everyone. There's also no Jason Derulo
junk. If you've ever heard the... Oh, I heard.
Yeah. So they all got Ken dolled, Barbie dolled
bottoms. And Jason Derulo took it especially
hard and started a conversation about the fact
that he has ginormous junk and they couldn't...
God damn it. Why do you guys say that? Yeah,
like, what? I guess Jason Derulo has not been
relevant in quite some time. He just really wants
people to know how big his junk is. You guys
gonna watch this movie? It's gonna look like
I have no junk? Trust me, I do have junk, okay?
It's huge! It is actually, like, a really good
singing job, and it's the first time I've ever
heard him sing a song without saying his own
name. No! Jason Derulo! But he plays Runtong
Duggar. I think I would have heard this better.
Does he say that name in the song? Uh, yes. See,
that's what he's worried about. You know what,
now thinking about it, yeah, he says Rum Tum
Tugger. That's his name, Rum Tum Tugger. You're
welcome. That's a kitty cat name. Yeah, that's
a name, you know. There's Demeter and Skimbleshanks.
Were all these cats domesticated? Were any of
the cats domesticated in their prior life or
whatever? The beginning of the movie, they're
all like, um, Rebel Wilson was. There's a few
others that are. The beginning of the movie,
this one gets dropped off, which I think is Francesca
Hayward. So this is, by the way, just going back
to your vignette note. This movie is still vignettes.
Yes, it is still vignettes. You still, one at
a time, hear songs. So you go to Rebel Wilson,
you go to James Corden, you go to the Stealing
Cats. So outside of memory, is there any song
of note that you would spotlight? That you say,
hey, this is a good song that you could listen
to without watching this movie. No. That is an
anguished face. Yeah, I was going to say, your
face says it all. The song that... Because I
do like movie musicals a lot. I really do. Magical
Mr. Mistoffelees gets stuck in my head. Oh, yeah.
So Mr. Mistoffelees is a magic cat. Magic cat.
Magic cat. I'm a magic cat. A little wizard cat.
So Macavity steals old Deuteronomy, and they
all rely on Mr. Mistoffelees, the magic cat,
to bring her back. Uh -huh. And so it's like...
Oh, well, I never was there ever a cat so clever
as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees. And it just gets
stuck in my head because they repeat that line
over and over and over again. Can I just say
I'm so happy that we have required you to have
encyclopedic knowledge of all these dumbass cat
names? I'm very happy about that. Oh, I'm on
IMDb. Oh, okay. Well, you know. And you never
saw Cats, the musical, right? I never saw Cats,
the musical. Okay. I have sang one song from...
at musical theater camp because... Nerd? Nerd!
Yeah, I got it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So on
to my negatives. Now that we know... Wait, wait,
wait. What? We haven't touched my negatives.
All right. We got to get through these negatives.
Let's go. Let's do it. Well, you were right.
Jennifer Hudson does win. What she wants is...
Hey! Nice. She wants to feel a part of... I'm
going to open a cruise to celebrate. Yeah. Cheers.
Thanks, man. What she wants is she wants to feel
a part of everybody again because she got blacklisted.
Okay. So that was the thing. Wait, so she just
comes back as herself? No, no, no. So Francesca
Hayward's cat becomes friends with her. Gotcha.
And just kind of says, like, why can't she be
loved by everybody? She sings her song, and old
Deuteronomy's like, you've suffered. You're the
winner. And then they fly her off in this magical
balloon, and that's the end of the movie. So,
to rejoin all the other cats and get a new life,
they send her off in a balloon alone by herself.
Tears. Okay. Tears. Yeah, emotional. I'm emotional
just thinking about it. Yeah. Sorry, I gotta
wait. Is it weird that I have a boner right now?
What the hell? Mitchell, congrats, you are a
furry. Sick. Sick, nice. One of the first notes
I have, random clothes items. Some are wearing,
like, fur coats. I saw a gif of one coat. Oh,
wait, Deuteronomy, that was what? Yeah, right.
Deuteronomy wears a fur coat. There's two that
have sneakers for breakdancing. There's one that
wears suspenders. Were they, like, sponsored
sneakers? Was, like, Nike paid for that? As far
as I could tell, they were pretty blank. Yeah,
generic. Sick. Jordan's like, what? So, back
to... Back to the CGI cat hair while Mitchell
chokes on his beer. The cat hair was blended
in nicely until you got to this one cat that
had these eyebrows that were just boom. From
all these trailers, it is just Uncanny Valley
Central for me at least. It looks so weird. One
cat had a gold tooth. Cool. Was he a pimp? It
was a she, and she was supposed to be the muscle.
She was supposed to be the muscle. That's how
you know. Right, the gold tooth. Oh, this is
the muscle cat. One thing I argue with musical
theater stuff is I always feel like when they
have dance showdowns, they make it ballet versus
everything else. It just needs to appear superior,
you know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, that's a really
good note. And so our first cat that's supposed
to be the heroine of the film... She does ballet.
And so, like, it would be this one part where
it's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to do this cool
jazz move. And then she comes in and she's like,
yeah, pirouette. Pirouette. And is that supposed
to be superior? The pirouette? That's what it
feels like, yeah. Oh, okay. I don't know if it's
necessarily what they wanted, but it definitely
comes across that way. Okay. Again, white savior
plot. Because she is a white cat saving Jennifer
Hudson. And who's very... Yeah. She's a black
cat. Yeah. Yeah, right. Stands out a little bit
like... Yeah, right, right. There's awkward sexualness.
Lots of like... I was just about to ask. Cats
can fuck. Yeah, cats... Also, are you a furry
now? No, I'm not a furry. It turns out I am.
Turns out Mitchell is. I have embraced this part
of my life. Right, right, right. I don't know.
I just wanted to know. The CGI feet. Oh, so you're
a foot guy now. Got it. So is Quentin Tarantino.
Right, Quentin Tarantino. You're in good company.
So, no, this is my note about CGI feet. Assuming
they are doing this stuff on a soundstage, they're
probably wearing shoes. Right, right, right,
right. So why do the CGI feet still look human
-like? They did it on purpose. Yeah! So that
was an artistic decision. Wow, that's a good
point. That was an artistic decision. I'm like,
no. We're going to keep the human feet. Yep.
Yeah. Oh, God, what? Yeah. Like, if they took
cat feet and, like, they had, like, human hands,
which is fine if they, like, made it look a little
cat -like. Like, I don't care about that. But
the problem is they just, it was like, the CGI
stopped here. Oh, wow. And they were, like, hands.
Which I get, isn't that accurate to the costuming
from the Broadway musical? I'm not sure if that's...
I've never seen it. I thought they wore like
gloves or something like that. I don't know.
I'm really just trying to defend this movie in
some way. Again, I haven't seen the actual stage
musical so I can't say but I would think they
would wear some kind of gloves so that it just
more so than anything doesn't stand out. But
I don't know. The opening, they did a lot of
disorientation and like yeah it was part of it
but at the same time it was just like What the
hell? I feel like I just got vertigo. Dancing
faced cockroaches and mice. I hate it. So I saw
a gif. It's the only thing I've seen in this
movie besides the initial trailer was a gif of
Rebel Wilson like a machine coming up and taking
off her skin and revealing a new dress underneath
and a bunch of marching cockroaches. That was
nightmare fuel from those 20 seconds. I was like,
what the fuck? So, but cats don't shed. No, they
don't. Like, or at least not like a snake. No,
no, no. But she had like a... sparkly one -piece
thing that was just like on. But she threw her
skin off. She literally zipped down the middle
of her chest and threw off her skin to reveal
another set of skin with a one -piece dress underneath.
I can see how that works on Broadway, but not
in a movie. That's the thing. They're trying
to go for a very Broadway -style thing, but because
they decided to do the Uncanny Valley CGI monster
-ness, it looks fucking weird. Why didn't they
do that? And then my final thing about this movie
is the last song was sung by judy dench and she
just all of a sudden she's singing this song
and then she turns to the camera okay and it's
the last song and they have this awkward fourth
wall break where it's just like a cat is not
a dog okay we all knew that What is that supposed
to mean? Yeah, what does that mean? That's the
song. I don't know. Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote
this. I don't know. Okay. What's your thoughts
on him, by the way? Because Kelly, who is also
into Broadway, feels he is so overrated. Like,
immensely overrated. Like, if you look at the...
Because he's so prolific, he's done a lot of
things. But if you were to do a ratio of good
to bad... There's so many things that are good.
Yeah. And I guess it's hardly... I don't know.
Like, she can name these better than I can. Were
you an Andrew Lloyd Webber fan going into this?
I liked Andrew Lloyd Webber. I'll say this. The
Phantom of the Opera is great. Evita is great.
Jesus Christ Superstar is weird, but it's good.
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Drinko. That's
great. Gotcha. I'm, like, looking at all this
stuff going, like... And he's done a lot, though.
He did School of Rocks to make it go to Broadway,
you know? Yeah, I saw that. But then he has things
like Starlight Express, which is completely on
roller skates. He does Cats. Yeah. And, I don't
know. He has so much good, so much bad. It's
hard. It's hard. And he's been around forever.
Like, he's still doing it. He's a weird dude.
Incredible. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. So... What
are your thoughts on this? It sounds like you're
probably leaning on the negative side. Just a
little bit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If we have
to sit here, I'm going to go zero cats out of
five dogs. Whoa! A hardcore zero. Hardcore zero.
Wow, hardcore. Whoa! There's so many things they
could have done to make this better. that they
just didn't. Wait, have you done a zero before?
Yes. Because I know you've seen bad movies. Yes.
Okay, what's the other zero? The other zero is
Yoga Hosers. Yoga Hosers, that's right. And I
would take this over Yoga Hosers because at least
this tried to be good. You really hate that movie.
I do. Can you give it like a .25 then? Just a,
well, whatever. Sure, we'll give it a .25. Sure,
that's fine. I'll give it a .25. But it's, like,
if you're looking for comparison, Yoga Hosers
is still worst. What did the Lion movie get?
A 1, I think. A 1 out of 5 because they did make
a movie and it was, you know, whatever. It happened.
It happened. I don't remember my exact rating,
but it may be a .5. That's awesome. I would still
say Leo the Lion is probably better because they
at least made it fully animated versus this.
Oh my god, wow. Leo the Lion over Cats. Damn.
Well, here's to that. So, cats. Cats. Cats. Meow.
I'm going to make you all sit through something
bad. So, are we going to play a game with T -Dog?
Or are we just going to do something here? Like,
I don't know. T -Dog's seen a lot of bad movies.
He has. Should we make him suffer? No. No, it's
fine. It's been a while for me. Yeah, it's been
a while for me, too. I'll put you two in the
ring. I'm fine with that. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Well, we'll figure that out. Can I? I'm going
to say something real quick. We are recording
this the day after Kobe Bryant, Gianna, and a
whole lot of other people died in a helicopter
crash. And since this is a movie podcast, I work
in sports. I'm not revealing where, but I work
in sports. Yep. And that affected me in a very
close way yesterday because I was a huge basketball
fan, not necessarily Lakers or Kobe, but this
is a guy, ever since I remember watching the
NBA, Kobe had been there. Yeah. maintained a
pretty relevant standing in the public eye even
after retirement and for this passing to happen
is devastating and i think one way if you're
a fan of movies um is to you know just like to
look back on all of his work post -retirement
and one of which that he uh did and won an oscar
for was deer basketball um and you know he was
a guy who was you could see in the way he played
the game and a lot of writers are uh making pieces
about it right now but he was basketball's ultimate
storyteller you know with the way he um just
the way that he played basketball it was emulant
of mj but also he had like a second act to his
to his career post shack like there's a lot of
ups and downs to his career, and ultimately he
decided to go into storytelling in his retirement,
which I think says a lot because he could have
done literally anything. He could have. That's
just one of the hardest parts about this is that
I feel like his career post -basketball was going
to be... almost as much as it was going to be
something huge. He was already having so much
momentum, and a lot of NBA players, once they
retire, they kind of leave the limelight, they
become private citizens, but Kobe wasn't satisfied
with that. He was still trying to do more, and
he was succeeding at that. He was. I feel like
we lost a lot of potential with having his life
cut short like this. I'm still trying to... it
doesn't feel real it doesn't feel at all exactly
and i'll be honest like with kobe like once i
heard he died it was struggling to find out like
is this real like you know i was reading on twitter
initially so i'm like this has to be a hoax and
then obviously it became real the emotions didn't
hit me until i read that gianna was also in the
helicopter yeah and that is someone i remember
very vividly being like playing with her dad
on the court before a lakers game And her life
is done at 13? 13. No, that was him in the years
lived was 2006 to 2020. And, like, that is awful.
Just tragic. But I will say this. The beautiful
part of his life, a lot of it is momentary. Then
most any of us will ever live. And you're able
to celebrate it in pretty much any accessible
way. and including his work in Dear Basketball,
since this is a movie podcast. Mike, you posted
this earlier on our Instagram feed of Give This
a Watch. It is a beautiful piece of art, and
it was Oscar -worthy and Oscar -winning. And
it's very available, too, which is nice about
it. I like the movies that are, you can see that
it's something that was spread. Why spread? So
that you can find it, you can watch it, you can
take it in. It's something that is not hard to
find. If you ever loved something as dearly as
Kobe loved his profession and as anything that
he loved as close as his daughters and his wife,
Dear Basketball kind of sums all that up. Which
I think is a beautiful thing. So, yes. Yeah.
That's it. That's it. You watch Cats, too. I
watch Cats. And the gentleman. I need a good
movie in my life. What is your aggregate score?
So it was zero or is it a quarter for Cats? It's
a quarter and a two. Quarter and two. So you
got like a 1 .25, whatever, out of, yeah. It's
rough. It's no bueno. Your aggregate for your
two movies was really good. 4 .25. I mean, yeah,
it was Lord of the Rings. Your aggregate for
everything. Well, poor Nat. Well, no, no. If
you were to rate all those movies. Oh, God. You
said earlier? Yeah, Little Women's number four
on my list, and that's four and a half as well.
Yep. 1917 is probably a four. That's number eight
overall, I think. So you're probably sitting
at a 4 .25 overall. Oh, I'm chilling. I'm chilling.
I've seen some really great movies lately, and
I'm very happy for this time of year. There's
some movies on my list. Well, boys. Boys. We
need to knock you down a peg. Oh, shit. So. How
are we going to determine this? Yeah, right.
What's the plan? Off mic, get in. Oh, nice, dude.
Oh, sick. So the joke is his name is Michael.
Yeah. And then sometimes you're called Mike when
you go by Michael. And then there's also a microphone.
Right, right, right. And you complained about
Mike. Oh, shit. Dude, I'm telling you. There's
layers to this. You complained about my joke.
You know, like I said, I was kind of like, while
we were talking about cats, I was like, man,
that pun was really bad of the podcast. And I
was like, I don't know if I want to do this.
But then you brought it home, and I'm like, this
is why we record. Yeah, all the bad puns are
the friends we made along the way. Right, right,
right. Exactly. Yes. Absolutely. So seriously,
are we going to do this? We're going to do this
off mic. Off mic. Off mic. For your host, Mike.
Andre. Mitchell. Thank you for listening to another
Game for a Movie podcast. Yes, I'm going to make
it again. God damn it. Suck it. Fuck. Suck it.
God damn it. We'll see you next time on Game
for a Movie. Hashtag cancel mic. Fuck mic. Just
fucking hate you.