You know what that sound means? It's another
episode of Game for a Movie, where we ask, are
you game for a movie? My name is Mike. I will
be your host this evening. So, a little bit of
backstory about why this movie changed. Originally,
I was supposed to be watching Exposed from 2016,
which stars Keanu Reeves and Ana de Armas, mostly
because from the world of John Wick, Ballerina
came out. Here's the thing. I've got probably
about 40 more minutes on that movie. It was boring,
like really boring, like the to the extent that
I feel like if I talked about it, I was going
to be bored. And that doesn't make for a good
episode. You don't want to hear that. I don't
want to put that out there. So I pivoted and
I watched a different movie that was a lot more
fun. And I'm a lot more excited to talk about.
So I think everybody wins in this case. I watched
a bad movie. I'm going to tell you about said
bad movie. I think everybody's going to win in
this particular case. But of course, before we
jump into that, we've got what we are drinking.
Today I have got from Burlington Beer Company
in Burlington, Vermont. Burlington, Vermont.
Burlington, Vermont. Yeah. It is Burlington,
Vermont. I've got a double IPA called It's Complicated
Being a Wizard. Yes, I did choose this strictly
on name only. It's a very good double IPA. It's
got a lot more fruit to it than I was expecting,
but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And it
is about 8%, so cheers to you guys. It's Complicated
Being a Wizard. All right, enough about that.
We've covered before. Water parks. And more specifically,
people dying at water parks. And just when you
thought it was safe to go back in the water,
we bring you Aqua Slash. Yes, Aqua Slash is the
name of the movie that we are covering today.
Aqua Slash is a film from 2020. As it turns out,
it was released in 2020. It was filmed in 2019.
It is about an hour and 11 minutes long. It's
considered a... horror comedy and yeah it is
um it is something let me tell you right now
uh it is a 14 percent critic score a 20 audience
score it is pretty much it deserves all of that
uh this is a french production company so a lot
of the names of like the directors and stuff
uh they are a little more french the director
is also the writer and the producer so you know
It's off to a terrible start when it's like that.
The director is Renaud Gauthier. I think I pronounced
that correctly. That being said, it does take
place in Connecticut. It does have American actors.
So it's not like we're watching a French movie
with subtitles or anything like that. A short
description on IMDb is, Thrills, chills, and
screwball comedy meet tiny bikinis and gory dismemberment
in this chlorine and blood -drenched murder mystery.
It's the best way to put it. We're going to dive
into the details of it, but I think that's a
pretty good start for what you can expect from
this one. I also love the fact that it does have
a tagline, and that tagline is, Blood is slicker
than water. that's pretty solid i'm not gonna
lie so without further ado let's jump into the
details the fun details of aqua slash uh the
credits they are going over someone is sharpening
metal and so it's just kind of like this scene
you don't really see the figure or anything like
that but they are sharpening metal and it's obvious
these are the things that are going to be uh
used later in the film and as these credits are
going Like I said before, this director was a
producer, a writer, everything like that. He
also did some of the music. So, yeah. We're off
to a great start for this one. I'm not going
to lie. After the credits are all done and the
sharpening metal scene is all done, we start
at a water park at night. And there is a couple
that have been making out. And they're making
out at the bottom of the water slide. And she
starts getting a little freaked out. She thinks
they're being watched. So she suggests they go
somewhere more private. So they go to the top
of the water slide and they are full on doing
it. Not joking, like bent over sex happening
kind of thing. And someone comes up behind them,
pulls a knife on them. The figure pushes the
guy over and there's like a Wilhelm scream. It's
great. Like, it really is Wilhelm scream, like,
as he falls down. And then she gets her limbs
dismembered one by one. And so, yeah, this couple,
dead. Off to a great start. Then we get the title,
and it's over the sign for the Wet Valley Water
Park. That's the kind of stuff we're in for.
So if you think this movie is very good with
comedy and it sneaks in some zingers and stuff
like that, you are mistaken. We are going to
beat you over the head with these kind of jokes.
So it's literally called the Wet Valley Water
Park. They know exactly what they're doing. And
it's the next day and people start to show up
and it looks like they're high school graduates,
which they are. And they are going to be spending
the weekend at the water park. They've graduated.
This is like their tradition. The high school
students go to the water park. They have a good
time before they all go off to college or wherever
they may be going. This introduces us to our
cast of characters a little bit, or at least
the characters we care about. That is the music
geeks who are in a band called The Blades. I
wish I was joking about that, but no, it's actually
called The Blades. We've got the valedictorian
that's kind of like, she's the one that's running
it, but she also is like the party animal. She
she's ready for a good time. We've got our jock
group that just kind of exists to give our band
friends the blades a hard time. Then we've got
the stoners, the sex fiends, the goths, everything
like that. And if I just lump those all together,
trust me, that's all that happened with these
characters. They all got lumped together from
the very beginning. There's a slow -mo of people
going down water slides, having a good time.
And then our friends, the Blades, they go to
set up. They are going to be performing at this
water park. They're going to be performing 80s
music. That's the theme. I don't know why. There's
no real necessity for it, but they just do. So
they are going to set up and they are greeted
by Conrad Carter. This is an old man who kind
of like does the ins and outs of the park. If
you saw the trailer, he's just kind of like the
creepy guy just to be creepy. Like the old man
that's been there since day one. And we learn
through exposition of the Blades talking to him
that there was a person who died opening weekend.
And so the Blades are kind of like hesitant about
it. But Conrad goes, it's accidents. It's not
murder. We aren't haunted or anything like that.
And so it's just kind of to build the intrigue.
But it seems like there's only been one other
person that's died at this park to this point.
And so it's kind of weird that it's even brought
up that anybody really remembers it. But yeah,
so one person died on the opening weekend. Conrad's
not worried about it. He said it was an accident.
Accidents happen. Part of this fun weekend is
also the annual car wash. This usually raises
like thousands of dollars and it sends two lucky
graduates to Europe. Why is this important? It's
not. It's just to show girls in scantily clad
outfits, bikinis, that kind of stuff. This is
the kind of movie. We are sex, drugs, and rock
and roll. That is what this movie is supposed
to be. As well as, you know, eventually murder.
The person that's in charge of the car wash and
getting the girls ready and everything like that
is Priscilla. Priscilla is one of our main characters.
And we also have Tommy, who's one of the, like,
he's in charge. He's kind of one of the managers.
He doesn't run the park, but he's, you know,
he's like the general manager kind of thing.
Tommy is pissed at Priscilla because he can't
find Kim, his girlfriend. Kim, she kind of has
a thing for Josh. Josh is the lead singer. of
the band and also in the band are chad and slim
so tommy finds kim kind of like catching up with
josh and they huff off because tommy doesn't
want kim to hang out with josh we flash to a
car and there's a guy listening to a voicemail
we are led to believe it's michael michael is
josh's father he's kind of estranged so We kind
of know through this voicemail that they don't
really get along, but he kind of invited Michael
to his graduation just to be like, hey, I kind
of want to bury the hatchet before I go off to
college and stuff like that. But like if you're
too busy for me or whatever, I'm going to be
at the water park. It's fine. Just don't worry
about it. Michael also like what we see in his
car. He has blueprints of the water park. And
more specifically, like the slide designs, that
kind of stuff. And it's very much a red herring.
I never for a second thought it was Michael.
Like never for one second thought it was Michael.
They're trying to build it up like maybe he did
it, maybe he didn't. I never for a second thought
it was him. I just thought these blueprints were
just kind of something to throw you off to make
you think maybe there's a chance he's going to
kill him. So be that what it may, who knows?
uh kim is back in her position on the lifeguard
stand and as she gets back up there these two
drunks that are holding like a bottle of uh whiskey
it looks like it's like jim beam or something
like that it's just like blurred out kind of
thing they just cut the line and dive down the
slide and the one guy gets down first he like
Holds the bottle in the air, swigs a drink, spins
around. The second guy, going headfirst down
the slide, runs into the bottle and smashes it,
causing blood in the pool and glass. Okay, so
we've got one of our accidents. Remember how
Conrad was saying they have accidents? Yeah.
Kim rushes in to save them. It's fine. Everybody's
fine. A couple stitches, everything like that,
but the two guys get... carried out and uh basically
the ambulance takes him away and so this happened
kind of to show like maybe there are accidents
that happen here and you know nothing's really
as it seems kind of thing not necessarily the
case because it never comes back again really
you know whatever i also thought that maybe this
scene happened because they wanted to like show
that there was glass in the pool but it never
really came back it was just kind of like a scene
to hey accidents happen kind of thing so who
knows so after they close off that slide and
that pool and everything like that um to clear
out the blood and the glass and stuff like that
uh the redheaded valedictorian who i think her
name is alice uh they didn't really do a good
job of actually naming her she's just kind of
around a lot of this She's like sitting with
Chad and Slim and Phil, the main jock, comes
up and also walking past them is Priscilla. Priscilla
works at the park. She was a graduate from 1992,
but she's still like smoking hot. And apparently
she chooses one guy like every year at the water
park to fuck. And her nickname is The End, which
is the end to virginity. That is what she's kind
of known for. Slim in the band, he wants to be
this winner this year. So Slim tries to make
a move, but Priscilla gets a call as he walks
up. And it's from Michael, the blueprint guy
in the car. And he has seen her at 8 o 'clock
tonight. One of the things I noticed about this
phone call, because we really didn't hear Michael
talk at all, is he kind of has an accent like
Tommy Wiseau does in the room. It's not really
like a specific dialect. It's just kind of all
over the place. So yeah, Michael has a weird
accent. You know, whatever. At the same time,
Conrad is cleaning the pool. And this is where
we meet Wilkinson. Wilkinson is the actual owner
of the water park. And he just wants to keep
this open. So he says they shouldn't drain the
pool, even though there's glass in it. Again,
I thought this glass was going to come back.
to bite them that kind of stuff it really doesn't
but Wilkinson just wants to keep this open so
that he can make money and he can have a good
time we don't know exactly what his motives are
but he wants to keep this place open so after
all that the blades are setting up their equipment
and stuff and Chad stops Tommy and asks him to
help with the stage breakers And basically, this
is to give Josh a chance to go talk to Kim alone.
And Tommy's basically like, somebody else can
help you, Chip. And he goes, it's Chad. Like,
this is a reoccurring joke. So I kept track of
this. I saw this scene from this movie. And it
includes him saying, it's Chad, in one of the
lines. And it was hysterical. And so I knew it
was coming later in the movie. It wasn't this
part, but I knew it was coming. So I kept note
of when it happened because trust me, the delivery
on it is up there as one of the worst. It is
so bad. So Tommy calls him Chip. He goes, it's
Chad. But Tommy helps him out and Josh is able
to talk to Kim alone. They also give Tommy weed
for him helping out because, you know, as you
do. So Josh. Goes to Kim and they immediately
start making out. And they run off somewhere
private. And she admits that she really wants
to be with him. And we also learn that there's
some reason that Kim is not part of this class
with them. Something happened and she's no longer
at school. So this is why she got a job working
at the water park. She just kind of got with
Tommy out of like trying to get ahead kind of
stuff. So she doesn't really like Tommy like
that. She really would rather be with Josh. Sets
up our love triangle for the most part. Michael
and Priscilla, they are at a fancy restaurant
and he's just like a complete asshole. Like he's
just like belittling the. waiters he's eating
lobster like super loud and annoying but priscilla
is still trying to make it like a good night
for some reason so at the same time tommy and
conrad are kind of like putting stuff together
at night like all these things they're getting
ready for the next day because the next day is
supposed to be like the big day where all the
kids have all the fun and everything like that
and tommy kind of says out loud that he hopes
all these kids drown and conrad Kind of changing
the subject goes, I haven't really seen Kim around.
Well, that's because Kim and Josh are in a locker
room and they are fucking. And like we see a
lot of them, both of them a lot. We also see
that somebody kind of is like in the background
and we see that they may or may not be taking
video of these two having sex. while this is
happening like all the kids are still having
like a party it's kind of like a full -on rave
like they have like different colored paints
on the slides and it's it's really like trippy
and that kind of stuff um we learned that wilkinson
is sleeping with alice and a lot of it is because
of drugs and stuff like that but also because
it's just like getting it on with a an 18 year
old kind of thing like it's the younger model
Kim and Josh start walking back. They get to
the rave area. And Kim is really excited because
Josh is about to perform with the Blades. They're
going to perform. They do a rendition of I Wear
My Sunglasses at Night. And while this is happening,
Phil, the bully, yeah, he texts everybody the
tape or the video of Kim and Josh getting it
on. And, of course, Tommy sees it. So Tommy gets
really pissed. He goes up on stage. He punches
Josh. And because Tommy was the one that was
like instigating it, Wilkinson fires him immediately.
Like he's out. He's done. Get out of here. At
the same time, Priscilla gets there and Priscilla
is like, she's married to Wilkinson and she busts
him for sleeping with Alice. And apparently she
was sent to go on this date with Michael to make
it like worthwhile kind of thing. We don't know
why. We have no clue. Just kind of this is what's
happening. So Josh is walking away from the party.
He's like bleeding because he got punched, everything
like that. And then Michael appears out of the
bushes. Remember, Michael is Josh's estranged
father. He had those blueprints and everything
like that. And apparently he owns the water park
and he offers it to Josh if he wants it. And
he just wants to like take care of his son. He's
using his money to buy his affection pretty much.
And Alice, who was sleeping with Wilkinson, catches
that he's not really the rightful owner. And
so. She like kind of takes note of it, ducks
off without being seen. Then it becomes like
even more confusing because apparently Wilkinson
is selling it. I don't know. I felt like Michael
owned it. Wilkinson was just kind of there as
like a figurehead until Josh was ready. Maybe,
maybe not. I don't know. That was confusing to
me. So Alice is pissed. She's getting, she's
pissed that she's getting cut out. She wants
to have part of this water park, I guess. I don't
know why. It's not like this is a huge deal to
own this water park, but she was just kind of
mad at Wilkinson because Wilkinson was just getting
rid of it. So at this point, we've got Wilkinson
is selling the park to Michael. Michael is offering
it to Josh. Josh is sleeping with Kim and Kim
was supposedly with Tommy. Wilkinson is married
to Priscilla, but is sleeping with Alice. And
then we've got Chad Slim. uh chad it's chad uh
conrad we've got slim trying to sleep with priscilla
and then it's it's so confusing like it's just
a lot of stuff that they try to get in there
there's a lot going on and there's still the
backstory with kim we don't know why she's no
longer at the school who knows um it's all crazy
like this whole thing is just kind of crazy Kim
shows up at Chad's door and basically goes, you're
Josh's friend, Chud, right? It's Chad. He gets
mad again, you know? So that's the second time.
Still fun. Josh shows up and he's really glad
that she's okay because he was worried that she
was going to be, something was going to happen
to her because of Tommy. They're okay. They have
like a reunion kind of thing. And it's just the
three of them in this room. It's dark. There's
no one around. And someone is cutting a hole
through the water slide. And not only cutting
a hole in the water slide, putting these blades
in that make like this X. And it is terrible
CGI. Like it's way too bright. It's way brighter
than anything else in there. But it's supposed
to be obvious that these blades are here. So
there's an X blade in one of the water slides.
Here comes the slash part of Aqua Slash. So speaking
of X's, as I said before, we were supposed to
watch Exposed. Yes, I'm keeping with theme. This
is kind of great. I switched to Aqua Slash, but
we still played our guessing game on the movie
Exposed. And our first podcast to get it correct
was fitting. Very fitting. X Radio X, the music
podcast. These are our friends. It's weird to
even say that. somebody you've never met is friends
but x radio x podcast these guys we've known
them since the beginning they're always guessing
at our games you've heard them on the show before
um great guys uh you can find them x radio x
one on Twitter slash X slash whatever the fuck
we're calling it. God, there's so many X's now.
This is great. Their most recent episode they
wanted me to include has high production value.
I don't know what that means. I have not listened
to that episode yet. I will be soon enough. But
yeah, so their most recent episode has high production
value. So be sure to give a listen to our friends
X Radio X, the music podcast. Thank you guys
very much for guessing as you always do. And
let's get back to the X's of the blades in the
water slide for Aqua Slash. So mind you, this
movie is only about an hour and 11 minutes. And
we're probably 45, 50 minutes in at this point.
And nobody besides the couple in the beginning
has died. So it's very strange that we've gotten
this far and now the actual slashing is going
to start and it goes quick like it goes really
quick. So it's the next day. Michael's outside
the park and he's just kind of observing some
stuff. And then we see we don't know who it is.
We just see a gun show up behind him. And like
this person wanted to make sure they Michael
knew they were there. So he like they get their
attention. They get his attention. They shoot
him in the foot. As he's trying to run off, he
gets to the water pump room and he sees the dead
couple from earlier. And they are locked in the
water pressure area where they would be able
to turn off the water. And so Michael then gets
shot off screen. We don't actually see it. Who
knows? Again, remember how I was saying they
kind of use him as a red herring? Again, I think
they... kill him off screen because they want
you to still believe there's a chance that Michael
is the guy. I still didn't think so. I don't
know who I was thinking it was at this point,
but I was not thinking it was Michael. We then
see Tommy. Tommy is trying to text and call Kim,
but she is not answering. He's kind of like leaving
a message. He's burying his soul, just kind of
saying like, I forgive you. I'm sorry. That kind
of stuff. And Conrad slams the car and scares
him. It's one of those jump scares where it's
supposed to come out of nowhere and scare the
crap out of you. Conrad basically tells him to
forget her, but it's like in a creepy red herring
way again. Like, oh, forget her. She's not going
to be around much anyway. That kind of stuff.
Tommy and Kim aren't the only couple that are
having problems. Priscilla didn't sleep at her
house with Wilkinson that night. Basically, Wilkinson's
kind of upset. He thinks he fucked up. So he
actually will admit that he kind of messed up.
So he wants her back. But she didn't stay that
night. Conrad, after his speech to Tommy, goes
to turn on the water. And he kind of sees a spot
of blood in the grass, but he doesn't think much
of it. Like he just kind of, okay, it must have
happened when they got those kids out of the
pool, you know, that kind of stuff. So he doesn't
say anything. He doesn't do anything. Priscilla,
remember how I said she didn't really sleep at
home that night? Yeah, she had sex with Slim.
And she's doing it again near the slides. And
more so because she wants Wilkinson to catch
them. And she wants Wilkinson to be jealous.
And he does catch them and he's angry, but he's
more angry about like her staff or their staff
being missing because they still can't find the
two that were the couple. They apparently were
staff. This is where we first learned that. So
he's more mad about that. So he needs her to
come help him with the next activity that they're
doing. What's the next activity you might be
asking? Well, it is a sea snake race. basically
what a sea snake race is because i've never heard
of this before if this is a thing i i haven't
really gone to water parks like in in general
um if this is a normal thing can somebody tell
me that because i really have no clue what this
is but essentially you get teams of three and
you can't let go of each other and you have to
get down to the bottom and whoever gets their
first wins um you also get bonus points i guess
for like dancing or whatever i don't know it
was very strange i don't know about that part
they can't even see in these water slides so
i don't know what they're doing with that basically
it's just a race of three people at a time so
these teams start lining up essentially so we've
got alice and her team of like pretty popular
girls uh we've got phil has his jock team including
a guy that has like ridiculous like johnny bravo
hair it's like really ridiculous Team Blades
is together, but Slim hasn't shown up. So they
are trying to recruit Kim to join their cause.
And there's also like a goth team and that kind
of stuff. So all these teams are getting ready
for the sea snake race. And also showing up is
Tommy. Tommy shows up as a customer and he wants
to get on a team so he can race as well. Since
the other lifeguards aren't there, Priscilla
and Wilkinson are forced to go up there together.
So they are up at the top. And then Conrad assumes
a position as the lifeguard at the bottom. Even
though Conrad isn't a lifeguard, he has been
around it enough that they trust him to do so.
So this also establishes that they have walkie
-talkies so they can talk to each other and everything
like that. Priscilla is manning the walkie -talkie
at the top. Conrad's got it at the bottom. And
they all get ready to go do the sea snake. So
they all head up towards the top. And then Tommy
is kind of like behind because he's still trying
to find a team A, but he's also kind of just
behind the group. And all of a sudden he gets
wet. And it's very weird that he's getting wet
from the slide. And then he sees that there's
holes in the side of the slide. And like they
look like they're kind of plugged up, but they're
not really. What he thinks happens is he thinks
that these slides are like old and rickety. He
thinks that they're going to break whoever is
in them. And so he runs up and he tries to stop
the race. So he's trying to stop the race. But
Priscilla is kind of like, OK, no, we're fine.
We this is fine. Tommy, just stop. Just stop
being here. So she encourages the race. And she
sends the teams off. And this is where it's supposed
to become the actual mystery part of it. We've
got three teams. We've got team pretty girl,
party girl, whatever. We've got team blades.
And then we've got the emo goth team on the other.
And they're all sliding down. And it's like different
cuts and everything like that. And you're kind
of going, okay, we know the blades are there.
Who's going to die first? And as they're getting
ready. To send the next group down. Tommy. Who's
still trying to get them to stop the race. Gets
pushed down by Phil. And sent down the slide.
So. I think this would have been great. If. This
is what they were trying for. And if we didn't
see any of the trailers. Or posters or anything
like that. Because they were. Establishing some
kind of mystery. Of who's going to die. That
kind of thing. Obviously it's not going to be
Team Blades. But Team Party Girl or Team Emo
Goth, either of them could have gone because
they would have just been cannon fodder and I
would have been here for it. Unfortunately, I've
seen the trailer. I've seen the poster. And on
the trailer and on the poster, Team Party Girl
is seen in front of the Blades. And they catch
it at the very end. They start screaming. Alice,
our Party Girl, she hits it first because she's
the front of the line. And she gets split, just
absolutely dismembered. Arms, head, torso split
by these blades. But once one person hits, it
kind of stops the momentum. So like the second
girl may have hit it and she may be like cut
and stuff like that, but she's not really going
anywhere. So she's just kind of like stuck on
these blades. And then the third girl is just
kind of back there. realizing what's going to
happen that has to be the scariest position because
at least with Alice she just was gone the second
girl it sucks it's not great but the third girl
knows what's coming and remember how I said that
Tommy got pushed down the slide yes he did get
pushed down that slide and So Team Blades makes
it down. They're celebrating. They've got victory
and everything like that. And then all of a sudden
the pool starts becoming red with blood. And
not only that, Kim sees one of the body parts.
And it becomes just pandemonium. Josh basically
is like trying to help them because he realizes
that the rest of the group hasn't gotten down
to the bottom yet. So he tries to climb up the
slide backwards. Conrad, who's basically the
walkie talkie is going because Priscilla wants
to know what's going on. Like, can they send
the next group down? That kind of thing. Conrad
kind of sees the blood. He jumps off the lifeguard
stand, lands wrong and like breaks his foot like
bad brick. um well it would be a bread break
if it was his actual foot because i saw a goof
on imdb and now that i think about it makes complete
sense uh it's very obvious when he jumped off
and they tried to show you like his foot breaking
uh it's somebody's hand just kind of like bending
weird in the shoe so that you could tell it was
kind of like meant to look like that but it was
really just somebody messing like that Doing
that trick kind of thing. So Conrad can't stand
up. He can't answer the radio. Tommy sees the
girls backed up on the blades and tries to stop,
but he can't. So he pushes through not only the
next girl, but the second one too. Chad is just
like blowing chunks. He's just like losing it.
Kim is stuck in the water screaming. And Josh
basically gets thrown down the slide because
he can't make it up there. It's just too strong.
Up at the top, two people are kind of like wimping
out of the sea snake race. So Priscilla offers
to Wilkinson that they race so they can join
a team too. And they push down the slide. So
Wilkinson ends up on this team with like these
two girls. And Priscilla ends up on another team
with like these two dudes. At this point, Tommy
is still alive, but he's stuck on the blades.
Like he's getting cut into that kind of thing.
And Wilkinson was on the tube that had the blades
and Josh races up the side and he's like trying
to save him. And basically he's like holding
onto his hand and the girls he was with, they
kept sliding down because Wilkinson just kind
of like let go. And the girls he's with kept
going and they pushed Tommy through. Tommy's
dead now too. So the other two girls, I don't
know what happened to them. We don't see this
at this point, but. tommy's dead the three party
girls definitely dead um we don't know who else
is going to die maybe no one maybe everyone who
knows conrad on his bad ankle yells to chad to
turn the water off but he calls him chuck he's
just like drummer boy chuck whatever your name
is and chad turns around and this is the part
and he goes it's chad And he just kind of walks
off and like Conrad's like pissed. So he tells
Kim to shut off the water. Kim gets to the water
pump, but she can't do anything because of the
dead bodies that are in there. Wilkinson is he
just can't hold anymore because the water is
just like tearing him down. And he he doesn't
want to get up because he's afraid he'll fall
to his death. So he gives up holding Josh's hand
and tells his dad to like go fuck himself. uh
josh runs up to tell them to stop going down
the slides to which johnny bravo goes down and
is just like yeah i'm going down goes down conrad
also races up on his bad ankle because these
guys are trying to stop them basically everybody
at the top still doesn't know what's going on
so they push conrad and josh down as well josh
makes it to the bottom and that's it that's all
we see of the murders at the water park the next
thing that happens is we get news position that
comes on reveals that michael did it as a murder
suicide which definitely isn't true just so we're
clear but he left everything to josh so him and
kim they just made a ton of money one of the
things that josh kind of wants to do is he wants
to shut down the water park and he does technically
own it because it was signed over So Josh has
plans to convert it into a shopping mall. So
he signs it, and it's agreed they're going to
turn it into a shopping mall. And also there,
for some reason, because this is at the bequeathing
kind of thing where they go, okay, your father
left you this, your father left you that kind
of thing. Also there, for some reason, is Priscilla.
We really don't know why. She's just kind of
there, I guess, to like... walk josh and kim
through everything i really don't know it does
not make sense why she is there except for one
thing and one thing only movie because then it
goes back to the first day of the park when the
park opened and priscilla's dad was killed in
the first accident while the lifeguards were
making out instead of helping him and so we learn
that priscilla was the killer and she did it
at revenge Because she wanted to close the park
down for good. And now that it's becoming a mall,
that's exactly what's going to happen. The end.
That's Aqua Slash. I don't like how we don't
know who died. Like, did Conrad die? I don't
know. Wilkinson probably did, but we don't know.
The two girls that Wilkinson was with probably
did, but we don't know. Tommy, we know. The party
girls, we know. It's, yeah. Do I really care?
No, there are more important things than who
died. I just want to know if Conrad made it.
Honestly, that's the guy I care about. Wilkinson,
meh, whatever. The two girls, we don't even know
their names. Fine, whatever. Conrad, I want to
know if he survived or not. Because I think if
anybody deserved to survive, it's him because
he did his job. That's all he was doing. He was
doing his job. He was creepy about it and that
kind of stuff. But he did his job. So, I don't
know. Conrad, I like to think in my head he was
down the third slide. So, maybe he's still alive
just sitting in the pool of blood at the bottom.
But, yeah, we don't know. We don't know. Oh,
this movie. So, Exposed was very boring. And
because of that, I wanted to do something like
this. And I think this was the right pivot. I
think this was definitely the right pivot. this
one is stupid it's bad acting it's terrible script
oh my god though is it funny it's one of those
it is so bad it's not good but it's so bad you
can find enjoyment in it i'm never watching this
again i don't want it to be like oh i'm definitely
going to see this movie every year now i'm gonna
watch it all the time no that's definitely not
the case this movie is not good for that uh but
I enjoyed it for the one time I'm going to watch
it. I think it was goofy in all the right ways.
It's very stupid. The acting is terrible. The
writing's even worse. Yet it was fun. Who decides
to kill people at a water park by just putting
blades in a water slide? That's it. That's all
it was. Who decides that? I guess Priscilla does.
The things that went right with this movie, I
think if they didn't reveal it in the trailer
or on the poster, sending them all down at the
same time and you don't know which tube has the
blades or anything like that, I actually think
that was great. I think that was a lot of fun
because you're kind of wondering who's going
to get it. Um, obviously I knew from the party
girls, but like, then they kept it going with
Conrad and Josh were both sent down slides. And
it's like, Oh, maybe it's, maybe it's Josh. Maybe
it's Conrad. Who knows? You know, who knows where
they're going to go? Tommy was a question for
a while. Is he going down this one or not? It
kind of felt like Tommy was going down that one,
but we just don't know for sure. I like that
concept of that. Okay. Maybe, maybe it will be
them. Maybe it won't be them kind of thing. I
think that was a lot of fun with that. I wish
it wasn't on the trailer and on the poster. I
really do, because I think that would have been
a lot more fun not knowing that stuff. Priscilla
is the killer does not bug me. I think her motives
are weak because. this is supposed to be 2010
i think was the graduation so if this is 2010
and you're a graduate of this high school since
92 and you've been working at this water park
for a long time if you wanted to close it why
are you waiting until 2010 that's that's my biggest
drawback of her but i think her motives make
sense um that her father died and everything
like that and you want to get the park closed
fine I think it's a little weird, but it's fine.
She makes sense mostly in the fact that she had
these times to do these things. And I think that
she makes sense as a killer. I don't know. It's
weird because I don't think I would have ever
guessed her. And yeah, she was somebody that
may or may not have been a part of it. Sure.
I think what was best about it was the lack of
expecting it. They definitely were trying to
make it seem like it was Michael. It was Wilkinson.
It was Tommy. It was Conrad. Definitely one of
those guys. And yet it was Priscilla. And I don't
think anybody saw that one coming. And if you
did, great. That's good for you. But I definitely
didn't see that one coming. I was totally okay
with it. I think that was great, honestly. I
very much enjoyed that she was the killer. So
that is some of the good things about this movie.
It's dumb enjoyable. Priscilla is a killer was
kind of fun. I think those were very good. The
fact that you didn't know who was going to die
because they're all going down different water
slides. I think that's great as well. Now for
the stuff that's not good. I mean, I've already
said the writing's bad. The acting's bad. The
bit with Chad drove me insane. That nobody could
get his name right. And he's just kind of, it's
Chad. It's Chad. That kind of stuff. Like it's
terrible line delivery too. Like it's even worse.
That drove me a little insane. I don't get the
idea of everybody going to the water park after
graduation. Like I said, I'm not a water park
person. I'm not like huge into water parks or
anything like that. I'll go, but it's not like
it's something that I need to do or anything
like that. So it's kind of weird that every year
the graduates go to the water park after graduating.
And like, I guess it's good that they have this
weekend or wherever where they can kind of let
loose and stuff. But it feels kind of weird that
all of a sudden they're just so excited to go
to the water park and that it was a big deal
that this water park is going to be sold to them
and that kind of stuff. I don't know many water
parks that. turn a profit you know uh maybe i'm
wrong about that i don't i'm not like a guru
on this stuff but i don't know anybody that would
be like super excited about the fact that oh
i bought a water park yeah this is great maybe
if you bought an amusement park that happened
to have a water park but like a water park itself
just straight i don't know especially in connecticut
because like in connecticut too you're getting
two and a half months of people coming in like
there's not going to be a whole ton of people
that are going to the Connecticut water park
in the middle of October you know if you're in
Texas sure maybe yeah fine but in Connecticut
it's going to be cold man you're not you're not
hopping in the water on that one um yeah some
of the other things I disliked the car wash out
of nowhere that was just to show Girls in scantily
clad bikinis and stuff like that. There's no
point in that. The guys that dove down the water
slide and smashed their head on the whiskey bottle.
There's no point in that either. Those guys were
gone and they weren't a part of the rest of the
movie. So I don't know why that was something
that needed to happen. Except for maybe giving
a death earlier in the film. Because really there
was two points of death. There was the couple
in the beginning. there was the end and that's
it and the end was really like 10 minutes it
wasn't a huge thing it wasn't forever it was
like 10 minutes and that was kind of strange
too in the fact that this is supposed to be like
a horror movie that kind of thing and they just
kind of cut it off uh once and i guess Once you
find out that people are getting killed by this
water slide, you're not going to send more people
down the water slide. I get that. I do. But it's
also kind of like you didn't get the aftermath
of any of it because it was like the last person
gets sent down the slide. It was Wilkinson and
Josh and or not Wilkinson. It was Conrad and
Josh. The last persons get sent down and then
all of a sudden it's news position to tell you.
oh man this was a huge tragedy at the water park
darn oh my god whereas i think like a good horror
movie lets you kind of sit in it a little bit
where you kind of feel it um they didn't really
do that and then they wrapped it up real quick
after that with they were at the lawyer's office
and they were making it a mall and that was it
and then finally they revealed at the end priscilla's
dad was the one that died now this is why priscilla
did it so i don't know um overall okay this is
gonna be a really weird rating because i don't
know what to give it i don't it is a terrible
film and so part of me immediately is like i
want to say zero zero out of five however i had
a lot of fun with it and it's because it's goofy
and because it's dumb does that give it a one
Out of 5. Does it give it a .5. I think it won
it more than a .5. Just because. It was able
to make me laugh. And be stupid and all this.
But at the same time it's not good. I don't know.
I'm going to say 1 I guess. I'm going to give
it 1. Emergency shut off valve. Out of 5. So
yeah. I'm not going to suggest. Watching Aqua
Slash. But if you have an hour and 11 minutes.
Why not? I mean, seriously, it's goofy. It's
dumb. You'll laugh at it, especially because
of how bad it is. Some of the hair that the characters
have, like the one guy with the Johnny Bravo
hair, just absolutely ridiculous. The whole concept
of the fact that you just put blades in a water
slide, that's kind of fun. I don't know. I'll
say this movie's harmless. That's a lot of what
I talk about with these bad movies. Is it harmful?
Is it harmless? This is harmless. You knew what
you were getting. It's going to be bad. And it
was. That's exactly what it was. It was not a
good movie. I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane.
However, I had fun with it. I thought it was
goofy as shit because it was dumb. A lot of the
jokes did not land and that kind of made it better.
I'm sure they thought that it's Chad stuff was
hysterical when they were writing this shit,
but it just does not translate, especially with
the way the actor delivered the line just does
not translate. It's not funny. It's not anything.
So overall it's dumb. It's very dumb, but it's
harmless. It is just, I want brain rot for an
hour and 11 minutes. And this is exactly, it's
a brain rot movie. So yeah. That's Aquaslash.
That's it. That's what that is. Thank you to
X Radio X, the music podcast, for guessing it
correctly for Exposed, which it didn't actually
happen, obviously. I'll watch Exposed if you
guys want me to. Again, I thought it was boring,
and I thought it just isn't worth an episode
for you guys. But that's up to you. You tell
me. Let us know at GameForAMovie everywhere.
We are on X Instagram. We really aren't on Facebook
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if you want some of that kind of stuff. We have
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hope you would enjoy some of that. Yeah. Thank
you guys very much for tuning in to the Game
for a Movie podcast, where we ask, are you Game
for a Movie? I've been Mike, your host, talking
about Aqua Slash, and now I'm going to go watch
the next one because I record tomorrow for the
next one. Yeah, it never stops. Podcast always.
So I'm going to go watch at least a little bit
tonight because we are recording tomorrow. Just
get a head start because I have a little bit
of time tomorrow, but not a lot, so hopefully
I can watch a good chunk of it. So yeah. I will
see you next time for the Game for a Movie podcast.
Bye.