WEBVTT

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You know what that sound means? It's another

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episode of Game for a Movie where we ask, are

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you Game for a Movie? My name is Mike. I will

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be your host this evening. It is going to be

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a good one because this movie, A, and B, because

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when I opened that beer, it just shot all over

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my face. And yes, I realize somebody is probably

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going to use that audio of shot all over my face

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and do whatever they want with it. I don't care.

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I've got beer in my face. I've got a great movie.

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We need to talk. beer and movies. The beer I

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have is from Wicked Weed Brewing in Asheville,

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North Carolina. It is pernicious. This is a standard

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around here. This is one that not always in my

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fridge, but it feels like it finds its way into

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my fridge more often than not. So pernicious,

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fantastic IPA. It is 7 .3%, I think is what I

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remember. Yes, 7 .3%. It is a fantastic beer,

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especially if you like IPAs. This is one of my

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go -tos. So, Pernicious, hey, it looks good across

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your face. It is also 2 o 'clock on a Wednesday,

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so today is going downhill fast. But yeah. Alright,

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time for a movie. Yes, a bad movie at that. We've

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got The Love Guru as our movie today. Basically,

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the idea that... I have been doing this year

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is when movies have been releasing, I have been

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choosing an actor from those movies, kind of

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finding their worst of their worst movies. I

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had a lot of choices to go with. There's this

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movie that came out last week called The King

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of Kings. It is, I don't want to say your standard

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fare, but it is an animated story of Jesus as

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told by Charles Dickens and his family. As far

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as I know, the movie's fine. I have no problem

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with it. You know, that kind of thing. That's

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what I know. I haven't seen it myself. But what

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I do know is the cast list for King of Kings

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is insane. There was a lot of names to choose

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from. So I obviously went with the Love Guru.

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This is because Sir Ben Kingsley is in the Love

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Guru. He also is in King of Kings. I was also

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stuck between Pierce Brosnan with Lawnmower Man.

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I could have done Oscar Isaac for Suburbicon,

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My Super Ex -Girlfriend and Uma Thurman. And

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there also is this film, you probably haven't

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heard of it, I know I haven't, but it looks terrible,

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called Go Fish, and that has Mark Hamill in it.

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But as I said before, we are doing The Love Guru.

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The Love Guru. This is a movie that kind of killed

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Mike Myers' career. For at least a little bit.

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Now he's starting to get back out there. He's

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a little more here, a little more there. Yeah,

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this one, I understand why he had to disappear

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for a little bit. The Love Guru sits at 13 %

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critic score and 33 % audience score on Rotten

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Tomatoes. It has a pretty solid cast. Some of

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the names, I will get to... Their characters

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and everything like that. But just reading the

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names on this list. We've got Mike Myers. We've

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got Jessica Simpson. Kanye. We've got Jessica

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Alba. Justin Timberlake. Romani Malco. Verne

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Troyer. Megan Good. John Oliver. Stephen Colbert.

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Jim Gaffigan. Daniel Tosh is in this. A lot of

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comedians. That's what I will say about that.

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And that makes sense because this is a PG -13

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comedy. It is also a romantic movie and a sports

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movie. Yes, all three of those things. It's an

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hour and 27 minutes long, and it released in

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2008. One of the writers is Mike Myers, of course,

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and the director is Marco Schnabel. Marco Schnabel

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is known for this movie. He was a producer on

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Austin Powers and Goldmember. This is the only

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real directing credit he has to his name. A little

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awards buzz about this movie. Yes, it has some

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awards. Unfortunately, none of them really that

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good. It won two Razzies. Actually, really, no.

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It won three Razzies for Worst Screenplay, Worst

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Picture, and Worst Actor. It also got nominated

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for Worst Actress, Worst Supporting Actor twice,

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and Worst Director. And then it also won, or

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it was a nominee for Worst Movie of the Year

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by the Golden Schmoes Awards. Yeah, that says

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pretty much all you need to know about this film.

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I will give a little warning before I go into

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this movie. I, as a white guy, am going to dive

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into a serious topic about white Washington films.

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And we'll probably have more of this discussion

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after the whole description of the movie, everything

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like that. I just want you to know I'm not telling

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you how you should feel about this. I'm not telling

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you what you should think about this. I'm going

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to give my opinion on it. And I think a lot of

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people are going to agree with it. I don't think

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I'm hiding anything with that. But just in case

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I want it to be known, I'm just sharing my opinion.

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It is going to be a serious topic at the end

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of this about whitewashing of films. I'm not

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going to go deep into it. But I am going to bring

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up some of the stuff, some of the questions that

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are raised because of movies like this. So just

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a heads up, spoiler alert for the end. We're

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going to talk about this movie in its entirety

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without getting into that conversation probably.

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So don't feel like I'm just glossing over it.

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It is definitely a problem in this movie. So

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there we go. Enough of a spoiler for that. I'm

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going to give you the rest of the details for

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2008's The Love Guru. So this movie starts as

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all good movies should, and this is not a good

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movie, but with a Morgan Freeman voiceover and

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basically introducing the area that we're going

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to see. But truthfully, it's just Guru Pitka

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who is talking into a voiceover machine. So he

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is creating this himself. Guru Pitka is, of course,

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played by Mike Myers. Guru Pitka, he grew up

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in Haramakister in India. Yes. This is the kind

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of jokes that we're going to be dealing with

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the entire time. It doesn't get much better.

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There are some jokes that actually really hit,

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and I do have some examples of that. But a lot

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of what these jokes are are going to be huge

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misses or just a chance to make as many penis

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jokes as humanly possible. Before you get crazy

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about this, he is not a stereotypical guru. He

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actually grew up in America. He is darning the

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look of the Indian gurus. but he doesn't really

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speak with an accent. Sometimes he does, just

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kind of picking up on it. He is not actually

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the problem I have in this movie. There are some

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things that are a lot worse. And then we get

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the news position. It goes to Hockey Night in

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Canada. It's our two hosts. The one host is Jay,

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who is played by Stephen Colbert, and the other

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is Trent, who is played by Jim Gaffigan. We get

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a lot of them in between cuts and everything

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like that. But basically, they're the Hockey

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Night in Canada announcers, and they just give

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a lot of details behind the scenes. It's very

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narrator without being the narrator. They talk

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about Darren Roanoke, who is our main hockey

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player. He is played by Romani Malco. If you

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don't know that name, you definitely have seen

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him in something. Romani Malco has been in a

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ton of different movies, stuff like that. He

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was Jay. in The 40 -Year -Old Virgin, if that

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helps. That's definitely one of the places I

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recognize him from. He's in the Think Like a

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Man movies. And also, he was in 87 episodes of

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A Million Little Things. So if you saw A Million

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Little Things, you definitely know who I'm talking

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about. He plays Darren Roanoke. And he has broken

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up with his wife, Prudence. His wife, Prudence,

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is played by Megan Good. Megan Good, another

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person that you've probably seen before if you've

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seen the Shazam movies. You know Darla, the little

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girl. Her adult superhero counterpart is played

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by Megan Good. She was also in Cousin Skeeter

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for 52 episodes. She's been in a ton of different

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things. You probably have seen her somewhere.

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So Megan Good, she plays Prudence. And Roanoke

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ends things with Prudence. We don't know why,

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but he ends things with Prudence. Now she is

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dating Jacques Lecoq Grande. No, you did not

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hear that wrong. It is Jacques Lecoq Grande.

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He is a Canadian goaltender that happens to play

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for the LA Kings, and he is played by Justin

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Timberlake. I actually had a lot of fun with

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this character because he was just, honestly,

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probably 15 minutes of screen time, he was just

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a cocky douche. It was fun to see Justin Timberlake

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kind of play this goofy role like that. We are

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getting all this information from our Hockey

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Night in Canada announcers. And we also learned

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that Jay, played by Stephen Colbert, apologizes

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to the crowd because he is addicted to peyote

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and frangelico. That's all you need to know.

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That doesn't really go anywhere much, but that's

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just something you need to know. Also, Jacques

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Lecoq. Grande, if you didn't figure it out, Grande,

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huge. Lecoq, huge. There's big dick jokes. He

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has a big dick. That's the character development.

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There you go. He has a big dick. Because of this

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divorce, Roanoke starts having this tremor, and

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he's not playing to his standard. He is the hot

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shot in hockey, and he's not playing well because

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of all this pressure and everything like that.

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This is the main cause for why certain characters

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get in touch with each other. We also get introduced

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to the coach. The coach is Punch Cherkov, and

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he is played by Vern Troyer. Yes, Vern Troyer,

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mini -me from the Austin Powers movies. He is

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there just to make short jokes. That is basically

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the whole point of why he is there. The GM who

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is having a problem trying to get Roanoke to

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play well is Jane Bullard. She is played by Jessica

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Alba. And we don't know this now, but I'm just

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going to go into it. She inherited the team from

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her father. And she's grown up around this team.

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She is a savvy businesswoman and knows the sport.

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This is not one of those like, oh, she doesn't

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know the sport. She's a complete failure and

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everything like that. She knows the sport. She

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knows her shit. But she also goes the distance

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of trying to get a love guru to fix Roanoke.

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And so she does believe in some of these guru

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things. And we learn even more so that she's

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kind of obsessed with Guru Pitka. She has all

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of his books. So she's really on board with the

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guru thing. Her plan is to bring in the love

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guru, try to fix Roanoke, and win the Stanley

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Cup. That is the whole premise of the movie.

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And this goes to our opening credit scene, which

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is Guru Pitka in his ashram in Hollywood. He

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is playing a sitar, and he's just kind of originally

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strumming like a little, it could be an Indian

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song, it could be just he's strumming along or

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whatever, and then it slowly becomes 9 to 5 by

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Dolly Parton. I actually really enjoyed the sitar

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covers of some of these songs that they have

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in this. I will talk a lot about those because

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they're actually pretty solid. The 9 to 5 one,

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pretty good. And as it's doing the opening credits,

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it kind of shows his life at the ashram in Hollywood.

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It also talks about like his success stories

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with people like Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Brad

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Pitt and Angelina Jolie, which is just hysterical

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to me now because some of these. We now know

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not great love stories to be modeling yourself

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after. We also meet Rajneesh, who is his assistant.

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Rajneesh is played by Manu Narayan. Narayan hasn't

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been in a whole lot. He's kind of more a bit

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part. But he is the assistant of Guru Pekka.

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At the end of the song, he announces that Richard

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Pants is here. And Guru Pekka goes, ah, Dick

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Pants. Again, remember how I said the humor is

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every dick joke possible? Yes, Dick Pants, who

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is played by John Oliver. He has news that Deepak

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Chopra is still the number one spiritualist in

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the United States and that he is number two.

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And this kind of addresses that he always feels

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below Deepak Chopra. And he's trying to get to

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that next level. He wants to be the number one

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spiritualist in the U .S. This is what he wants.

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But he also has the news that Pitka will get

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$2 million guaranteed if he's able to fix Roanoke

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and Prudence. Another thing that Pitka wants

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is he wants to get on Oprah like Deepak did.

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Deepak got on Oprah and then his career kind

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of launched. So Pitka is kind of like, if I get

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on Oprah, everything will open up for me. And

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so this is what he wants. He wants to help Roanoke.

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He wants to make $2 million because who doesn't

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want to make $2 million? And he wants to get

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on Oprah. Now we get a flashback of him and Deepak.

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They both learned under the guru, tug in my poodle.

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This is where everything starts to get a little

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okay. This is not okay. Guru Tug and My Buddha

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is played by Sir Ben Kingsley, and he's cross

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-eyed. He is a cross -eyed guru, and that's what

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it is. It's not really beneficial to the story.

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It's not important. He just has a goofy name,

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and he is cross -eyed. And also in this flashback,

00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:30.740
this is actually pretty funny to me. We learned

00:14:30.740 --> 00:14:35.039
that Deepak and Guru Pitka both learned under

00:14:35.039 --> 00:14:39.480
Tug of My Buddha. And the flashback is a young

00:14:39.480 --> 00:14:42.960
boy's body, like 12 -year -old boy body. But

00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:45.179
it's superimposed on Mike Myers' head and it's

00:14:45.179 --> 00:14:47.379
huge. Like it's a bobblehead on top of this body.

00:14:47.539 --> 00:14:50.559
And it's actually pretty funny to me. Pitka's

00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:53.220
real name is Maurice. And we learned that his

00:14:53.220 --> 00:14:55.539
parents had died. So this is how he ended up

00:14:55.539 --> 00:15:01.179
with the gurus. And Tug in my Buddha asks him

00:15:01.179 --> 00:15:04.899
what his parents did. And he says they were missionaries.

00:15:04.899 --> 00:15:07.919
And what about before that? They were doggy stylists.

00:15:08.019 --> 00:15:11.220
Ah, they were into doggy style and now missionary.

00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.700
And they kind of laugh like Deepak laughs and

00:15:16.700 --> 00:15:19.690
Tug in my Buddha laughs. Maurice kind of chuckles

00:15:19.690 --> 00:15:22.190
and goes like, that's hilarious. My parents are

00:15:22.190 --> 00:15:26.070
dead. Thanks. And honestly, that delivery, pretty

00:15:26.070 --> 00:15:30.409
good. Pretty good. He asks, Tagamai Puda asks

00:15:30.409 --> 00:15:34.710
why he wants to become a guru. And he wants to

00:15:34.710 --> 00:15:37.529
become a guru so ladies will like him. So that

00:15:37.529 --> 00:15:40.149
means that Tagamai Puda gives him a chastity

00:15:40.149 --> 00:15:42.629
belt because he needs to learn self -love. He

00:15:42.629 --> 00:15:44.830
needs to learn to love himself before he can

00:15:44.830 --> 00:15:48.110
be with any women. And that is going to be a

00:15:48.110 --> 00:15:50.830
reoccurring part of this entire thing, the chastity

00:15:50.830 --> 00:15:54.269
belt. It's also shaped like an elephant. And

00:15:54.269 --> 00:15:56.490
every time it's referenced, there's an elephant

00:15:56.490 --> 00:15:59.809
like trunk going off. It's back to present day.

00:15:59.950 --> 00:16:04.250
He's doing his bit is what I'll say. He's having

00:16:04.250 --> 00:16:06.690
a session with all these people that are around

00:16:06.690 --> 00:16:08.470
and everything, mostly females in the crowd.

00:16:08.690 --> 00:16:11.750
And his holy words of affirmation are Mariska

00:16:11.750 --> 00:16:14.990
Hargitay. So he says Mariska Hargitay all the

00:16:14.990 --> 00:16:21.019
time. And his whole philosophy that he has is

00:16:21.019 --> 00:16:25.220
the art of intimacy or into me I see. You know,

00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:29.039
you have to look into me to see the love and

00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:34.320
that kind of stuff. And he shows his gurus, like

00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:37.980
Tagamai Puda was his guru who learned from, and

00:16:37.980 --> 00:16:40.200
it's all like penis jokes. It's all more and

00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:42.639
more penis jokes or worse. And it just keeps

00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:47.399
getting worse and worse. And everything he does

00:16:47.399 --> 00:16:49.740
comes with a price. Like he sold seats to this

00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:52.919
thing. He tries to sell more books. He tries

00:16:52.919 --> 00:16:55.620
to get people to buy things. So he's very money

00:16:55.620 --> 00:16:58.159
driven. Some of the people in this crowd are

00:16:58.159 --> 00:17:01.740
people like Jessica Simpson. Also Val Kilmer.

00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.759
RIP Val Kilmer. But that's not the only people.

00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:09.200
So if you thought it was just a joke that he

00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:11.920
keeps saying Mariska Hargitay, she shows up too.

00:17:12.900 --> 00:17:19.259
And... As a big donor to his guru styles, they

00:17:19.259 --> 00:17:21.680
are actually going to start a Mariska Hargitay

00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:25.900
Special Victims Unit ashram. So yeah, there's

00:17:25.900 --> 00:17:31.380
that. That is it. That's all for Mariska Hargitay.

00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:34.180
That's it. She's there and she's gone. So same

00:17:34.180 --> 00:17:36.200
with Jessica Simpson and Val Kilmer. They were

00:17:36.200 --> 00:17:40.920
only bit parts and gone. This is where Jane meets

00:17:40.920 --> 00:17:50.430
with him. Punch Cherkov. Punch Cherkov. Did I

00:17:50.430 --> 00:17:53.710
really just realize now? Punch Cherkov. I just

00:17:53.710 --> 00:17:56.609
realized that, didn't I? Another penis show.

00:17:56.670 --> 00:18:01.670
God damn it. Yeah. When he meets Jane, his third

00:18:01.670 --> 00:18:04.509
eye opens and he sees them in like this Bollywood

00:18:04.509 --> 00:18:10.410
love scene, you know, like with full, full subtitles

00:18:10.410 --> 00:18:12.349
and everything. Like it's, it's a whole thing.

00:18:14.739 --> 00:18:17.839
And then he comes, he like gets brought back

00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:20.059
to present day where he's introduced to the coach.

00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:23.259
And he very much has like this, like, you know

00:18:23.259 --> 00:18:25.319
how in Austin Powers Gold member, he has the

00:18:25.319 --> 00:18:27.880
mole conversation, like mole, mole, mole, like

00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:30.000
that kind of thing. He kind of does that same

00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:32.859
shtick where it's just, oh, shorty. Okay. Yeah.

00:18:32.940 --> 00:18:35.119
Yeah. Short, short, short, short, short, that

00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:38.460
kind of thing. Great. Like I said before, Vern

00:18:38.460 --> 00:18:40.440
Troyer was just brought in to make short jokes,

00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:43.609
but he agrees to help them. And they fly private

00:18:43.609 --> 00:18:46.309
to Toronto. While they're flying, he's talking

00:18:46.309 --> 00:18:48.329
about all of the plans he has and everything

00:18:48.329 --> 00:18:50.569
like that. And he's constantly still promoting

00:18:50.569 --> 00:18:53.049
books that he has written and everything. And

00:18:53.049 --> 00:18:55.849
Jane, this is where we learn that she has read

00:18:55.849 --> 00:18:57.910
all of the books, especially after her father

00:18:57.910 --> 00:19:01.230
died. She found comfort in them. And she kind

00:19:01.230 --> 00:19:05.430
of like brushes his hand. And then we hear like

00:19:05.430 --> 00:19:10.829
a little metal sound. Yeah, still the Chastity

00:19:10.829 --> 00:19:14.839
Belt. Just in case you were wondering. This also

00:19:14.839 --> 00:19:20.720
brings about this other part. Jane is hated by

00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:24.180
the city of Toronto. Like, hated. And it's because

00:19:24.180 --> 00:19:27.039
ever since her father took over, team hasn't

00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:29.779
won a Stanley Cup. And this is the first year

00:19:29.779 --> 00:19:32.680
she really wants to win this because she wants

00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:34.259
to get this monkey off her back, pretty much.

00:19:34.500 --> 00:19:38.299
She even... has at the stadium like lines where

00:19:38.299 --> 00:19:40.880
she can kind of see the game but the people can't

00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:42.759
see her because as soon as they see her they

00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:44.859
throw beer at her or something like that you

00:19:44.859 --> 00:19:47.900
know so it's this is a big deal for her to try

00:19:47.900 --> 00:19:54.660
to win so there's a lot riding on this basically

00:19:54.660 --> 00:19:57.579
he wants to get Roanoke back with his wife because

00:19:57.579 --> 00:20:00.539
you know love and everything like that he also

00:20:00.539 --> 00:20:03.500
wants to help Jane so that she will fall in love

00:20:03.500 --> 00:20:06.089
with him He wants his $2 million. He wants to

00:20:06.089 --> 00:20:09.710
get on Oprah. All of these things all coincide

00:20:09.710 --> 00:20:13.490
with this one case. So as soon as they land,

00:20:13.589 --> 00:20:15.609
he goes to find Roanoke. And Roanoke is shooting

00:20:15.609 --> 00:20:18.630
at an empty net. And he is not doing well. And

00:20:18.630 --> 00:20:20.809
he realizes Pic is there for him. And he's just

00:20:20.809 --> 00:20:23.109
kind of like, no, I don't need you. I don't need

00:20:23.109 --> 00:20:25.690
you. None of this is because of my marriage.

00:20:25.769 --> 00:20:28.250
It's just I got the yips or something like that.

00:20:28.329 --> 00:20:30.130
I'm just going through some stuff. You know,

00:20:30.170 --> 00:20:33.000
that kind of thing. And Pika's just like, great.

00:20:33.079 --> 00:20:36.299
Well, that's awesome because my job is done anyway.

00:20:36.500 --> 00:20:38.079
Prudence said she's going to get back with you.

00:20:38.579 --> 00:20:41.200
And Roanoke's kind of like, really? And he starts

00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:44.220
to shoot. Can't miss. He can hit anything he

00:20:44.220 --> 00:20:46.380
wants to. He hits the targets that he has set

00:20:46.380 --> 00:20:50.180
up in the net. Each one, one shot, one kill,

00:20:50.259 --> 00:20:55.099
done. And then Pika goes, I'm joking. No, she's

00:20:55.099 --> 00:20:56.900
not coming back. And then he tries to shoot again

00:20:56.900 --> 00:20:59.539
and he just completely whiffs, you know, proving.

00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:04.279
That Pitka is needed to help Roanoke. So the

00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:07.400
first thing he wants to do is try to get him

00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:09.720
to write an apology letter. And he's going to

00:21:09.720 --> 00:21:13.619
deliver it to Prudence. So Roanoke writes this

00:21:13.619 --> 00:21:20.039
apology letter. And Pitka and Rajneesh hop on

00:21:20.039 --> 00:21:22.660
their elephant. Yes, they have an elephant that

00:21:22.660 --> 00:21:24.680
they take around. They hop on their elephant

00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:28.619
and they go to Jacques Lecoq's house. We now

00:21:28.619 --> 00:21:31.700
get to see Jacques at home with Prudence. And,

00:21:31.779 --> 00:21:33.960
like, once she gets home, he, like, gives her

00:21:33.960 --> 00:21:36.299
a foot rub. He's talking about how great she

00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:38.579
is, everything like that. Kind of a really good

00:21:38.579 --> 00:21:43.380
doting boyfriend, actually. He also, like, is

00:21:43.380 --> 00:21:46.640
singing Celine Dion. And this comes back. He's

00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:49.880
a huge Celine Dion fan. I say he's a doting boyfriend,

00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:52.880
but also I want it to be known that this is Justin

00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:56.920
Timberlake with a mustache wearing, like, a...

00:21:59.880 --> 00:22:03.480
lack of a better term a speedo pretty much his

00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:06.440
cock is just out there like it's just those big

00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:09.960
bulge there that you're just kind of seeing so

00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:12.559
he's singing Celine Dion while giving Prudence

00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:14.519
a calf massage trying to make her feel better

00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:18.099
and Pika sneaks into the yard and gets attacked

00:22:18.099 --> 00:22:23.599
by a guard cock yes LeCocq has a cock that is

00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.259
a guard cock I knew I was going to talk about

00:22:26.259 --> 00:22:28.599
penises a lot on this episode because you know

00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:31.910
that's just That's what this movie is. I did

00:22:31.910 --> 00:22:34.170
not realize I'd be saying this much about cock.

00:22:34.650 --> 00:22:43.630
So, you know, cool. When he just, like, destroys

00:22:43.630 --> 00:22:46.789
the guard cock, this is also the moment where

00:22:46.789 --> 00:22:50.910
Jacques says he's going to make Prudence a Quebec

00:22:50.910 --> 00:22:53.910
pizza. She goes, oh, what's that? He goes, a

00:22:53.910 --> 00:22:57.609
Pop -Tart with the ketchup and walks away. So,

00:22:57.630 --> 00:23:01.640
yeah. Grande walks away and Pitka kind of like

00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:05.900
sneaks in, is able to get the letter to Prudence.

00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:10.980
But Jacques also walks in on this happening.

00:23:11.059 --> 00:23:13.740
So he's able to get the letter. She's able to

00:23:13.740 --> 00:23:16.640
hide it. But basically Grande now knows that

00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:18.859
Pitka is around and trying to get them back together.

00:23:19.700 --> 00:23:22.000
So he's like being nice about it and takes Pitka

00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:24.519
around the house. And then when they're out of

00:23:24.519 --> 00:23:27.700
range from Prudence, they get into a fight. But

00:23:27.700 --> 00:23:30.420
Pitka throws a smokescreen and escapes like it's

00:23:30.420 --> 00:23:32.759
smokescreen. And then like way down there, he's

00:23:32.759 --> 00:23:34.779
on his elephant with Rajneesh and they're riding

00:23:34.779 --> 00:23:37.119
off. So where are they riding off to? You might

00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:39.519
be asking yourself. Well, they've got a Toronto

00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:44.039
ashram now and waiting there with his group is

00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:48.339
Darren Roanoke. Pitka tells him to lose the group

00:23:48.339 --> 00:23:51.519
and to walk in and he's going to walk through

00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:54.839
what they're going to do. We learned during the

00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:58.059
first session. before like with all the ladies

00:23:58.059 --> 00:24:01.359
in the Hollywood ashram that he likes his acronyms

00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:05.819
including like he makes one for Roanoke that

00:24:05.819 --> 00:24:09.680
is uh be loving and open -hearted with my emotions

00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:14.779
or blow me and of course this sets Darren off

00:24:14.779 --> 00:24:17.099
and it just seems like this entire time Pitka

00:24:17.099 --> 00:24:19.579
is just there to like piss off Darren like it

00:24:19.579 --> 00:24:22.859
it doesn't feel like they're really friends They

00:24:22.859 --> 00:24:24.839
do have some moments where they kind of are nice

00:24:24.839 --> 00:24:26.619
to each other, but really it just feels like

00:24:26.619 --> 00:24:30.160
he's there to piss them off. And he wants to

00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:33.599
put Darren on his path of drama. Distract you

00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:35.960
from your pain, regress you back to your childhood,

00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:39.440
adjust negativity, mature you, and put it into

00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:42.079
action. That is drama. And it's also tattooed

00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:46.119
on his knuckles as like Blues Brothers style,

00:24:46.279 --> 00:24:48.519
Elwood and Jake style. So the first part of this

00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:52.180
is distract you from your pain. And we go back

00:24:52.180 --> 00:24:55.299
to 15 years ago. Tug and My Pooda is teaching

00:24:55.299 --> 00:24:59.819
distraction through a game of stink mop. Stink

00:24:59.819 --> 00:25:03.579
mop is where Tug and My Pooda just pisses in

00:25:03.579 --> 00:25:07.440
a bucket. They put the mops in the bucket, cover

00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:10.160
it with piss, and now they have to fight each

00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:15.539
other with these piss mops. The result of which

00:25:15.539 --> 00:25:19.670
is Pitka getting hit with a stink mop. I don't

00:25:19.670 --> 00:25:21.230
remember exactly what it was, but there was a

00:25:21.230 --> 00:25:24.849
distraction in there. So yeah, there was a distraction.

00:25:24.950 --> 00:25:27.089
He got hit with a piss mop. Cool. That's all

00:25:27.089 --> 00:25:29.210
we need to know. Well, while we are on the art

00:25:29.210 --> 00:25:31.609
of distraction, and before we get to the Stanley

00:25:31.609 --> 00:25:35.170
Cup games, because we are right there, we're

00:25:35.170 --> 00:25:36.829
going to give a shout out to the podcast that

00:25:36.829 --> 00:25:40.309
guessed our bad movie correct first. It is WKMU

00:25:40.309 --> 00:25:44.349
Radio Podcast. You can follow them at WKMU Radio

00:25:44.349 --> 00:25:46.450
Pod on pretty much everything, but especially

00:25:46.450 --> 00:25:48.869
things like... Twitter. I'm not calling it X.

00:25:49.150 --> 00:25:53.670
Twitter. And they have a promo that you are going

00:25:53.670 --> 00:25:57.369
to hear. They've invited us to a couple groups

00:25:57.369 --> 00:26:00.710
for other podcasters. We are extremely grateful

00:26:00.710 --> 00:26:03.049
for being a part of their group. Thank you, Blue

00:26:03.049 --> 00:26:06.150
and Sky, for guessing. And here you go. Good

00:26:06.150 --> 00:26:09.829
morning, Earth. Here is the WKMU Radio Podcast.

00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:15.900
Good morning, Earth. It's time to get up. Dial

00:26:15.900 --> 00:26:18.279
in for strange and wonderful stories told by

00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:20.619
even stranger and more wonderful people. And

00:26:20.619 --> 00:26:22.819
remember, if you've heard it, it's history. If

00:26:22.819 --> 00:26:25.680
you haven't, it's news. I'm Blue. And I'm Scott.

00:26:25.880 --> 00:26:29.599
And welcome to 87 .9 WKMU, where you'll find

00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:32.500
all the things that keep me up. From gaming and

00:26:32.500 --> 00:26:35.519
movies to UFOs and just random weirdness in our

00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:40.119
dimension. So tune in at wkmu .podbean .com.

00:26:40.589 --> 00:26:42.230
Yeah, and do it quick before the government shuts

00:26:42.230 --> 00:26:45.089
us down. We gotta go, guys. Just make sure you

00:26:45.089 --> 00:26:46.630
check on yourself and check on your friends.

00:26:46.869 --> 00:26:49.329
And everyone deserves love. Especially you. This

00:26:49.329 --> 00:26:52.670
concludes our broadcast day. Thank you, Sky and

00:26:52.670 --> 00:26:54.490
Blue, for playing along and guessing the bad

00:26:54.490 --> 00:26:57.309
movie first. I hope you, as our listeners, would

00:26:57.309 --> 00:26:59.549
listen to them as well. You can find them anywhere

00:26:59.549 --> 00:27:02.890
at WKMU Radio Podcast. Thank you guys very much

00:27:02.890 --> 00:27:05.309
for playing and getting it first. And now, the

00:27:05.309 --> 00:27:08.210
art of distraction is over. We are back to the

00:27:08.210 --> 00:27:11.269
Stanley Cup games. It is the first game of the

00:27:11.269 --> 00:27:14.369
Cup playoffs, and as distraction, Darren is not

00:27:14.369 --> 00:27:16.630
allowed to fight anybody or get aggressive with

00:27:16.630 --> 00:27:21.210
anybody. He's not allowed to. And not only does

00:27:21.210 --> 00:27:24.970
Pitka not allow him to fight, he also pisses

00:27:24.970 --> 00:27:27.470
off the Kings bench, telling them that Darren

00:27:27.470 --> 00:27:29.490
called them bitches and that they can suck his

00:27:29.490 --> 00:27:33.670
big old, and then there's a goal horn. So, yeah,

00:27:33.730 --> 00:27:36.990
they want to fight him. Like, they want to hit

00:27:36.990 --> 00:27:40.390
him. As I said before, this is the art of the

00:27:40.390 --> 00:27:43.190
distraction because he's getting absolutely hammered

00:27:43.190 --> 00:27:45.210
out there. Like they are just taking all these

00:27:45.210 --> 00:27:47.769
cheap shots, everything like that. But his hands

00:27:47.769 --> 00:27:49.490
aren't shaking anymore. Like this is kind of

00:27:49.490 --> 00:27:54.390
working. So Darren is playing well. Like he got

00:27:54.390 --> 00:27:59.509
a goal. But at the same time, he's getting absolutely

00:27:59.509 --> 00:28:01.789
murdered out there. So he's like laying on the

00:28:01.789 --> 00:28:05.230
bench, absolutely just exhausted. And Pitka says

00:28:05.230 --> 00:28:06.950
like, yes, you're shooting better and everything

00:28:06.950 --> 00:28:10.599
like that. Darren is kind of like, instead of

00:28:10.599 --> 00:28:12.779
getting killed, can we find a different way to

00:28:12.779 --> 00:28:15.039
distract? And Pitcut changes his mind and tells

00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.700
him he can fight anyone for any reason. Any reason?

00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:22.059
Any reason. So, of course, he skates out there

00:28:22.059 --> 00:28:25.680
and he fights Jacques Lecoq. And he gets a one

00:28:25.680 --> 00:28:30.259
-game suspension. He also, for no reason other

00:28:30.259 --> 00:28:33.579
than just he wants to, he fires a puck straight

00:28:33.579 --> 00:28:36.130
at his coach. And so he gets another game suspension.

00:28:36.369 --> 00:28:38.450
So now he's not going to be back until game four.

00:28:38.869 --> 00:28:41.509
This is a big deal. Your best player just got

00:28:41.509 --> 00:28:44.650
suspended two games. But Pitka is kind of just

00:28:44.650 --> 00:28:48.150
laughing it off, including Pitka asks if the

00:28:48.150 --> 00:28:50.809
coach is OK and picks him up like in the air.

00:28:51.470 --> 00:28:53.170
And then he just kind of looks at the camera

00:28:53.170 --> 00:28:55.569
and goes, I'd like to thank the academy. And

00:28:55.569 --> 00:28:59.069
it's I know I'm mad about the short jokes, but

00:28:59.069 --> 00:29:02.309
this one was pretty good. This one got me. So,

00:29:02.329 --> 00:29:07.750
yeah. Coach Cherkov has a meeting in his office

00:29:07.750 --> 00:29:14.849
with Dick Pants, Jane, Rajneesh, and Pitka. And

00:29:14.849 --> 00:29:19.309
Cherkov just has a tiny office. And it's no reason

00:29:19.309 --> 00:29:22.789
other than just to have a tiny office. So, yeah.

00:29:23.589 --> 00:29:26.009
Jane even makes a remark, next time can we have

00:29:26.009 --> 00:29:28.930
a meeting in my office? Because they're all scrunched

00:29:28.930 --> 00:29:31.750
over trying not to hit the ceiling. While they're

00:29:31.750 --> 00:29:33.869
talking, though, and trying to figure out what

00:29:33.869 --> 00:29:36.690
to do with Darren, they have a moment where they

00:29:36.690 --> 00:29:40.630
learn that Darren doesn't invite his mother to

00:29:40.630 --> 00:29:45.630
the games. And she only lives an hour away. So

00:29:45.630 --> 00:29:48.250
it's kind of a eureka moment. And Pitka jumps

00:29:48.250 --> 00:29:51.309
up from his chair and right through the ceiling.

00:29:52.150 --> 00:29:56.190
But basically, he wants to take Darren to talk

00:29:56.190 --> 00:29:57.950
to his mother because he thinks this is going

00:29:57.950 --> 00:30:03.240
to be the next part. Regressing. So Darren and

00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:05.079
Pika are going to take a road trip, which Darren

00:30:05.079 --> 00:30:08.180
is not excited about. But Pika says, we'll make

00:30:08.180 --> 00:30:12.240
it fun. We'll have a good time. Here's one of

00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:15.339
the more underrated jokes of this movie. So they're

00:30:15.339 --> 00:30:17.519
listening to like hip hop or something. And then

00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:20.779
Pika changes the radio station to sitar. And

00:30:20.779 --> 00:30:23.079
Darren changes it back to hip hop. Pika hits

00:30:23.079 --> 00:30:25.640
it again, but hits it the wrong way. And it goes

00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:28.119
to Bohemian Rhapsody. And he kind of smiles at

00:30:28.119 --> 00:30:29.799
the camera, just kind of like a winking nod.

00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:32.460
And then he makes it hip hop again. So that's

00:30:32.460 --> 00:30:35.019
kind of underrated joke. I'm here for that one.

00:30:35.079 --> 00:30:37.819
I think that was a good one. The mom, Lillian

00:30:37.819 --> 00:30:40.720
Roanoke, is played by Telma Hopkins. Telma Hopkins,

00:30:41.019 --> 00:30:43.700
you may know her from a lot of different TV shows

00:30:43.700 --> 00:30:46.539
and stuff like that. But the big one, she was

00:30:46.539 --> 00:30:50.339
Rachel Crawford on Family Matters for 93 episodes.

00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:53.799
We find her at the church where she is teaching

00:30:53.799 --> 00:30:55.779
the choir and kind of getting them ready for

00:30:55.779 --> 00:30:58.490
whatever. They're doing next. She has a beautiful

00:30:58.490 --> 00:31:00.329
singing voice, everything like that, because

00:31:00.329 --> 00:31:04.690
she does a little solo. And basically, Pika is

00:31:04.690 --> 00:31:09.049
trying to get Darren to, A, admit why he doesn't

00:31:09.049 --> 00:31:11.690
let her to games, but also to kind of stand up

00:31:11.690 --> 00:31:17.930
to her. Because she is a hard -hitting mom. She's

00:31:17.930 --> 00:31:21.809
the one, there's no whining or complaining. She's

00:31:21.809 --> 00:31:23.890
not going to let you bitch out. Like, this is,

00:31:23.930 --> 00:31:31.029
she's tough love. And so Darren doesn't stand

00:31:31.029 --> 00:31:32.730
up to her. He's not going to stand up to her.

00:31:33.250 --> 00:31:37.970
And so they end up leaving, going to a bar. And

00:31:37.970 --> 00:31:41.430
Pitka realizes there's a second way to regress

00:31:41.430 --> 00:31:45.170
him. So he just starts doing old school fart

00:31:45.170 --> 00:31:47.069
jokes. Like he just starts making fart jokes

00:31:47.069 --> 00:31:49.190
at this bar. And it's like really loud and annoying

00:31:49.190 --> 00:31:52.170
and that kind of stuff. And also it does kind

00:31:52.170 --> 00:31:54.980
of work because they do like the. The finger

00:31:54.980 --> 00:31:59.640
under like the under your waist kind of thing,

00:31:59.700 --> 00:32:01.119
you know, like where you hold your finger like

00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:03.460
a three upside down under your waist, you know,

00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:05.579
ball geezers, what they call it, punches them

00:32:05.579 --> 00:32:09.720
and everything. And as they're doing this, this

00:32:09.720 --> 00:32:12.119
kind of draws attention to them at the bar. And

00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:14.779
some of the locals aren't happy because Roanoke

00:32:14.779 --> 00:32:16.720
suspended and they're going to lose the Stanley

00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:19.799
Cup all because of him. One of these locals is

00:32:19.799 --> 00:32:22.519
a guy named Cowboy Hat. That's his character's

00:32:22.519 --> 00:32:24.519
name. Obviously, probably not his real name.

00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:27.839
And Cowboy Hat is played by Daniel Tosh. And

00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:31.240
this starts a bar fight and everybody gets in

00:32:31.240 --> 00:32:33.799
on it. And, you know, it starts one of those

00:32:33.799 --> 00:32:35.519
like buddy comedy fight things where it's like

00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:37.980
you go high, I go low, that kind of thing. And

00:32:37.980 --> 00:32:39.619
there's different scenes of people in the bar

00:32:39.619 --> 00:32:42.180
getting beat up and everything, including there's

00:32:42.180 --> 00:32:44.019
like these little girls that are holding and

00:32:44.019 --> 00:32:47.809
beating the shit out of Pika. And then. both

00:32:47.809 --> 00:32:50.650
pitka darren cowboy hat and the other friend

00:32:50.650 --> 00:32:55.509
of cowboy hat get tossed out so they all kind

00:32:55.509 --> 00:32:57.250
of like laugh it off and everything like that

00:32:57.250 --> 00:33:01.430
and go their separate ways darren and pitka the

00:33:01.430 --> 00:33:05.390
next day probably are at niagara falls and this

00:33:05.390 --> 00:33:07.329
is where darren kind of opens up and realizes

00:33:07.329 --> 00:33:10.430
why he ended things with prudence He ended things

00:33:10.430 --> 00:33:12.289
with Prudence because he thought she would only

00:33:12.289 --> 00:33:14.789
love him if he succeeded. Because this is the

00:33:14.789 --> 00:33:18.049
mother he grew up with. It was only love if you

00:33:18.049 --> 00:33:20.650
succeed. Only if you do well at certain things.

00:33:21.970 --> 00:33:25.470
And he was afraid that Prudence wasn't going

00:33:25.470 --> 00:33:27.789
to love him if he couldn't win the Stanley Cup.

00:33:28.650 --> 00:33:33.410
So he still loves Prudence. The reason they broke

00:33:33.410 --> 00:33:37.849
up was just because he thought she wanted better.

00:33:39.009 --> 00:33:42.589
And so that's kind of one of the cruxes of why

00:33:42.589 --> 00:33:45.910
they broke up. At the same time, he also gets

00:33:45.910 --> 00:33:49.589
out of Pitka that Pitka doesn't have anybody

00:33:49.589 --> 00:33:51.970
himself. Like, how are you the love guru without

00:33:51.970 --> 00:33:55.869
finding love yourself? Which he kind of admits

00:33:55.869 --> 00:33:58.089
that there's just some things that are holding

00:33:58.089 --> 00:34:00.049
him back and that he needs to find self -love

00:34:00.049 --> 00:34:04.250
before he can do any of this. This is also kind

00:34:04.250 --> 00:34:07.630
of foreshadowing because the next scene is Rajneesh.

00:34:08.110 --> 00:34:12.449
and pitka they're playing the sitar and the banjo

00:34:12.449 --> 00:34:16.050
and they are playing more than words by extreme

00:34:16.050 --> 00:34:20.090
i fucking hate that song i absolutely hate that

00:34:20.090 --> 00:34:24.630
song it is the dumbest song in the world i just

00:34:24.630 --> 00:34:27.690
i absolutely hate this song but apparently it's

00:34:27.690 --> 00:34:30.489
enough to get the excitement of jane because

00:34:30.489 --> 00:34:33.230
jane is there and she is impressed with them

00:34:33.230 --> 00:34:36.170
and this is essentially just like a date scene

00:34:36.570 --> 00:34:38.030
Like it's just the two of them. They have no

00:34:38.030 --> 00:34:41.010
reason except for just they're hanging out kind

00:34:41.010 --> 00:34:43.530
of thing. And Rajneesh is making a meal for them.

00:34:43.889 --> 00:34:48.710
And the meal he's making is some delicacy that

00:34:48.710 --> 00:34:52.150
has a different foreign name. But the name that

00:34:52.150 --> 00:34:56.010
they give it in English is balls in a sack. It's

00:34:56.010 --> 00:34:57.989
like these walnuts that are put in like these

00:34:57.989 --> 00:35:03.820
dough. And it's just another joke to make. a

00:35:03.820 --> 00:35:07.579
penis joke like it's just another nuts joke and

00:35:07.579 --> 00:35:11.000
there's bits where it's like Rajneesh asks Pitka

00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:14.780
oh you want your nuts smashed of course who doesn't

00:35:14.780 --> 00:35:16.639
want their nuts smashed and you know he takes

00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:19.119
a hammer and smashes the walnuts in there and

00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:22.960
it's a lot of that kind of jokes well after like

00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:25.860
the meal and everything Pitka kind of convinces

00:35:25.860 --> 00:35:29.480
Jane to be more vulnerable because she feel he

00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:32.800
feels like She's kind of like pent up kind of

00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:35.440
thing. And so she is more vulnerable and she

00:35:35.440 --> 00:35:37.960
goes to kiss him. And then we hear the metal

00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:40.980
ding again of his chastity. And he just says,

00:35:41.039 --> 00:35:43.019
we can't do this. We can't do this and walks

00:35:43.019 --> 00:35:48.800
away. And meanwhile, the Leafs have lost the

00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:51.739
other two games. So they are down 3 -0 in the

00:35:51.739 --> 00:35:54.579
series. I mean, we can guess what's going to

00:35:54.579 --> 00:35:57.659
happen, right? Can't we? We can guess what's

00:35:57.659 --> 00:36:00.630
going to happen. The coach in the locker room

00:36:00.630 --> 00:36:02.889
is calling out the team, then he calls out Jane,

00:36:03.110 --> 00:36:05.489
and then he calls out Pitka, and then for no

00:36:05.489 --> 00:36:08.329
reason he punches Pitka in the dick. Again, just

00:36:08.329 --> 00:36:12.070
a dick joke. So Pitka is dealing with the idea

00:36:12.070 --> 00:36:13.969
of he doesn't want to take a shortcut on his

00:36:13.969 --> 00:36:16.110
drama method, but he's getting to the point where

00:36:16.110 --> 00:36:18.630
he kind of has to. And so he needs to talk to

00:36:18.630 --> 00:36:23.150
Prudence without Grande. So Grande and Prudence

00:36:23.150 --> 00:36:27.309
are at a club, and through a little... magic

00:36:27.309 --> 00:36:30.030
I guess because we really don't see who it is

00:36:30.030 --> 00:36:33.469
but we're just supposed to assume they got Celine

00:36:33.469 --> 00:36:36.989
Dion the back of her head to perform at this

00:36:36.989 --> 00:36:39.530
club so Grande is losing his mind and it's just

00:36:39.530 --> 00:36:41.610
like it's Celine Dion oh my god and like goes

00:36:41.610 --> 00:36:44.130
to dance and everything Prudence is still at

00:36:44.130 --> 00:36:50.090
the bar and Rajneesh and Pitka are there to try

00:36:50.090 --> 00:36:52.250
to talk to her and said that they talked to his

00:36:52.250 --> 00:36:57.750
mom and she wants to know if Roanoke stood up

00:36:57.750 --> 00:37:02.550
to his mother. And this is where Pitka lies and

00:37:02.550 --> 00:37:07.789
says, yes, he did. He stood up to her. And Grande

00:37:07.789 --> 00:37:10.889
happens to hear at this part Prudence say that

00:37:10.889 --> 00:37:14.789
he doesn't allow his mother in the crowd at games.

00:37:15.309 --> 00:37:19.030
So this is a little trick for later. But it seems

00:37:19.030 --> 00:37:21.650
like they've succeeded. They've now lied. And

00:37:21.650 --> 00:37:25.510
they said that he stuck up for himself to his

00:37:25.510 --> 00:37:28.929
mom. And it's game four and Roanoke is back and

00:37:28.929 --> 00:37:31.610
Prudence makes him feel good about himself. You

00:37:31.610 --> 00:37:36.230
know, she's now like, hey, I'm proud of you and

00:37:36.230 --> 00:37:37.889
everything. And they're kind of back together.

00:37:38.269 --> 00:37:41.050
So they win game four. It's three to one in the

00:37:41.050 --> 00:37:45.130
series. Still have a chance. And then playing

00:37:45.130 --> 00:37:47.090
like a man reborn because Prudence is really

00:37:47.090 --> 00:37:50.670
with him now. Roanoke plays out of his mind and

00:37:50.670 --> 00:37:54.239
they win game five. Three to two. The crowd is

00:37:54.239 --> 00:37:56.599
also kind of getting behind Guru Pitka because

00:37:56.599 --> 00:37:59.199
like he's a secret. So they're like wearing guru

00:37:59.199 --> 00:38:03.659
stuff in the crowd. Yeah, you can guess how I

00:38:03.659 --> 00:38:06.659
feel about that. And they also win game six though,

00:38:06.820 --> 00:38:09.059
you know, so it's good. This is good. They're

00:38:09.059 --> 00:38:11.539
winning. Like you can be a guru because of winning,

00:38:11.659 --> 00:38:14.039
right? That's okay. You can allow that, right?

00:38:15.679 --> 00:38:18.619
And now no matter what happens in game seven,

00:38:18.780 --> 00:38:23.710
Dick Pants has told Pika that they are 100 %

00:38:23.710 --> 00:38:26.429
going to be on Oprah. But he starts to not feel

00:38:26.429 --> 00:38:29.869
good about any of it. And like Jane is happy

00:38:29.869 --> 00:38:31.929
for Pika because she's like, oh, you're getting

00:38:31.929 --> 00:38:34.170
everything you want. You have the money. You

00:38:34.170 --> 00:38:36.750
know, you're going to be on Oprah. It seems like

00:38:36.750 --> 00:38:38.670
you got Roanoke back together with Prudence.

00:38:38.690 --> 00:38:40.530
So we're good. Yeah, we're going to win the Stanley

00:38:40.530 --> 00:38:42.809
Cup and we're going to we're going to be all

00:38:42.809 --> 00:38:45.650
right. And like you can kind of tell he wants

00:38:45.650 --> 00:38:47.610
Jane, but he can't tell her about the belt because

00:38:47.610 --> 00:38:49.929
God forbid he tells her about the chastity belt.

00:38:50.619 --> 00:38:53.619
So Dick Pants kind of like accepts the check

00:38:53.619 --> 00:38:56.699
and they're off to the airport. So they're at

00:38:56.699 --> 00:38:59.860
the airport trying to leave, but then they see

00:38:59.860 --> 00:39:02.840
the start of the game. And not only did they

00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:06.019
see the start of the game, they see that Grande

00:39:06.019 --> 00:39:10.920
not only got Lillian Roanoke to the game, she's

00:39:10.920 --> 00:39:15.239
singing the national anthem. And so Darren knows

00:39:15.239 --> 00:39:18.119
she's there. And so he runs off to the locker

00:39:18.119 --> 00:39:22.000
room and he locks himself away. Pitka realizes

00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:24.300
he needs to help. He needs to do something. So

00:39:24.300 --> 00:39:29.059
he calls Rajneesh. Rajneesh is making sure that

00:39:29.059 --> 00:39:31.760
the elephant gets on the plane safely. And the

00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:34.079
elephant is in an animal carrier, by the way,

00:39:34.179 --> 00:39:38.039
which is absolutely ridiculous. This right here,

00:39:38.139 --> 00:39:41.900
I laughed so hard at this. This was probably

00:39:41.900 --> 00:39:45.599
the best joke. So Rajneesh obviously has an accent

00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:47.960
and everything like that. He gets a call and

00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:50.199
he doesn't look at who it's from. And he answers

00:39:50.199 --> 00:39:54.599
and he goes, Dell Computers, this is Chip. Well

00:39:54.599 --> 00:39:57.840
done, Rajneesh. Well, well done. Apparently he

00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:01.460
has a side job working as Chip at Dell Computers.

00:40:01.900 --> 00:40:05.739
But when Pika tells him it's him, you know, they

00:40:05.739 --> 00:40:07.800
have a plan. They're going to go and they're

00:40:07.800 --> 00:40:13.159
going to help Roanoke get to... Get back on the

00:40:13.159 --> 00:40:17.219
ice for the game. Pitka also calls Jane and tells

00:40:17.219 --> 00:40:21.840
her she needs to buy time. So she does what she

00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:23.699
doesn't want to do, which is she crosses the

00:40:23.699 --> 00:40:26.380
line and everybody starts booing her and Toronto

00:40:26.380 --> 00:40:29.260
fans. She stands up for herself because she needs

00:40:29.260 --> 00:40:32.800
to go to Cherkov and get them on the same page

00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:37.119
and everything like that. Pitka arrives. Basically,

00:40:37.380 --> 00:40:41.929
Jane is kind of like... in the way and they have

00:40:41.929 --> 00:40:46.210
this thing right now for whatever reason he drops

00:40:46.210 --> 00:40:48.269
his pants and shows that he has the chastity

00:40:48.269 --> 00:40:50.869
belt and jane can see that he's committed to

00:40:50.869 --> 00:40:54.010
a higher purpose so this is why they weren't

00:40:54.010 --> 00:40:56.650
getting that close together so now she's like

00:40:56.650 --> 00:41:00.070
okay i i want to help you and so he goes in the

00:41:00.070 --> 00:41:02.650
locker room he talks with darren and convinces

00:41:02.650 --> 00:41:06.710
him that he needs to stand up to his mom here's

00:41:06.710 --> 00:41:09.409
one of the mistakes of this movie And there's

00:41:09.409 --> 00:41:11.090
a lot in this movie, but this is one of the big

00:41:11.090 --> 00:41:13.849
ones. They definitely showed the scoreboard and

00:41:13.849 --> 00:41:16.969
it was like three to one. And now there's 30

00:41:16.969 --> 00:41:18.750
seconds left in the game and it's one, nothing.

00:41:19.289 --> 00:41:22.510
And not only is it one, nothing, but they're

00:41:22.510 --> 00:41:25.530
literally like Darren stood up for himself, went

00:41:25.530 --> 00:41:28.650
out there and now he's taking the face off. So

00:41:28.650 --> 00:41:31.369
it's one, nothing. And they're taking a face

00:41:31.369 --> 00:41:35.010
off at center ice. I don't know why they would

00:41:35.010 --> 00:41:38.159
be taking a face off at center ice. Maybe they

00:41:38.159 --> 00:41:41.400
hit it out of play, but I don't think so. I think

00:41:41.400 --> 00:41:44.539
this is just a screw -up. So in less than 30

00:41:44.539 --> 00:41:47.300
seconds, he's able to get down the ice, does

00:41:47.300 --> 00:41:50.340
a Michigan move, and then ties the game. And

00:41:50.340 --> 00:41:54.380
then there's another face -off, and he gets tripped

00:41:54.380 --> 00:41:57.139
with one second left on the clock, and it's going

00:41:57.139 --> 00:42:02.099
to be a penalty shot against Jacques Lecoq Grande.

00:42:04.159 --> 00:42:06.159
One of the things I forgot to mention at this

00:42:06.159 --> 00:42:11.179
point. was Roanoke and Prudence, one of their

00:42:11.179 --> 00:42:15.360
things was that when they first were getting

00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:19.980
together, she said to him, damn. And it kind

00:42:19.980 --> 00:42:22.099
of just became their word. Whenever she said

00:42:22.099 --> 00:42:24.280
damn, it was kind of like I love you for them.

00:42:24.619 --> 00:42:28.079
This was something for them that they reacted

00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:34.920
to. Well, Lecoq skates out to Roanoke when he's

00:42:34.920 --> 00:42:37.079
about to take the penalty shot. And he says,

00:42:37.260 --> 00:42:40.139
oh, yeah, by the way, Prudence said damn to me.

00:42:41.199 --> 00:42:44.539
And he feels betrayed a little bit. And so his

00:42:44.539 --> 00:42:47.360
hand starts shaking again. And he's just like,

00:42:47.420 --> 00:42:52.579
oh, I can't do this. I can't do this. And Pika

00:42:52.579 --> 00:42:57.139
sees the shake and asks Cherkov again to cause

00:42:57.139 --> 00:43:01.820
some kind of something to call another timeout.

00:43:01.820 --> 00:43:07.079
They're out of timeouts. Somehow stall. The coach

00:43:07.079 --> 00:43:10.019
says, I never thought I would do this. He pretends

00:43:10.019 --> 00:43:13.920
to have a heart attack. And so the ref kind of

00:43:13.920 --> 00:43:19.199
stops the game to tend to Cherkov. And Pitka

00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:22.239
goes and finds his elephant. And they just so

00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:24.599
happen to be doing a circus promo with a female

00:43:24.599 --> 00:43:27.320
elephant that's there already. So he gets a male

00:43:27.320 --> 00:43:31.699
and a female elephant to the ice. And the crowd

00:43:31.699 --> 00:43:35.199
goes quiet as he gets the male and female elephant.

00:43:36.460 --> 00:43:44.179
to bone this my friends is the art of distraction

00:43:44.179 --> 00:43:47.900
it's the ultimate distraction and he goes to

00:43:47.900 --> 00:43:50.840
roanoke after they're done and like he's talking

00:43:50.840 --> 00:43:53.139
to him and saying how this is the perfect distraction

00:43:53.139 --> 00:43:55.340
see nobody's going to remember this and roanoke

00:43:55.340 --> 00:43:59.320
feels better and pika asks why do you feel better

00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:01.639
and he goes because i'm a hero to myself even

00:44:01.639 --> 00:44:06.360
if i don't make the shot nice good good Good

00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:08.039
little message there. You know, that feels good.

00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:11.840
So he has his confidence. And one of the things

00:44:11.840 --> 00:44:14.460
that he got ripped on the first time was the

00:44:14.460 --> 00:44:17.800
five hole trap. He got screwed on that in the

00:44:17.800 --> 00:44:20.719
sixth game. Well, this time he was ready for

00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:24.059
the five hole trap and he. shoots to the side,

00:44:24.139 --> 00:44:26.940
gets past LeCocq, and they win the Stanley Cup.

00:44:27.260 --> 00:44:29.360
Everybody's so excited. And in the front row,

00:44:29.420 --> 00:44:31.960
we get Mike Myers. Yes, Mike Myers, not Pitka.

00:44:32.119 --> 00:44:35.539
Mike Myers and Kanye together again. And they

00:44:35.539 --> 00:44:37.820
hug and they scream, I love hockey, and they're

00:44:37.820 --> 00:44:43.659
so happy. The Stanley Cup is theirs. And as you

00:44:43.659 --> 00:44:45.880
can say about all Toronto Maple Leafs fans, then

00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:48.900
they turned off their PS4 and went to bed. I

00:44:48.900 --> 00:44:50.920
love that joke. I'm sorry. I have to make it.

00:44:51.550 --> 00:44:53.469
And they're all in the locker room celebrating

00:44:53.469 --> 00:44:56.110
and Deepak Chopra shows up and he's there to

00:44:56.110 --> 00:44:59.670
congratulate Pitka. And basically is like so

00:44:59.670 --> 00:45:01.510
excited for him that he's going to be on Oprah.

00:45:02.110 --> 00:45:04.530
And Pitka kind of realizes he doesn't need to

00:45:04.530 --> 00:45:06.889
be on Oprah. He doesn't need to be the next Deepak

00:45:06.889 --> 00:45:10.590
Chopra because he's the first guru Pitka. And

00:45:10.590 --> 00:45:12.889
then the coach comes over and Pitka sucker punches

00:45:12.889 --> 00:45:14.889
him and they kind of like make up, you know,

00:45:14.889 --> 00:45:17.329
this is for punching him in the balls earlier

00:45:17.329 --> 00:45:20.760
and everything. And everybody's happy. And now

00:45:20.760 --> 00:45:25.059
they're in India again. And they're wrapping

00:45:25.059 --> 00:45:26.900
up the story. Pika is wrapping up the story.

00:45:26.980 --> 00:45:30.340
And he was talking with his guru, Tug of Mapuda,

00:45:30.480 --> 00:45:33.400
who says he can now take his belt off because

00:45:33.400 --> 00:45:36.739
he's learned to love himself. So Pika asks for

00:45:36.739 --> 00:45:39.079
the key to the chastity belt, but there was never

00:45:39.079 --> 00:45:42.820
a key. Just a snap in the back. And so it drops

00:45:42.820 --> 00:45:44.659
down. We don't see any penis or anything like

00:45:44.659 --> 00:45:47.679
that, but it drops down. Also, there is Jane,

00:45:47.860 --> 00:45:50.070
and she is looking like... hot as fuck Jessica

00:45:50.070 --> 00:45:54.210
Alba like perfectness and she kind of like smiles

00:45:54.210 --> 00:45:56.389
at Pitka and is like well now what do you want

00:45:56.389 --> 00:45:59.090
to do and he goes I have been wearing this thing

00:45:59.090 --> 00:46:01.429
since 12 years old what do you think I want to

00:46:01.429 --> 00:46:05.010
do I want to sing and then they do a Bollywood

00:46:05.010 --> 00:46:08.170
dance like with the sitar version of the Joker

00:46:08.170 --> 00:46:11.710
by Steve Miller band and that's the credits and

00:46:11.710 --> 00:46:15.449
then we're done with the movie except for one

00:46:15.449 --> 00:46:18.219
thing That I needed to bring up. And this is

00:46:18.219 --> 00:46:21.739
pretty funny. They left one blooper in. And so

00:46:21.739 --> 00:46:26.539
it's a shot of like the backsides of the Maple

00:46:26.539 --> 00:46:29.519
Leafs team. And you can hear the director kind

00:46:29.519 --> 00:46:31.420
of say to like the cinematographer. Hey, Peter,

00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:33.280
can we bring the camera up a little? All we can

00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:35.920
see are asses. And Verne Troyer goes, now you

00:46:35.920 --> 00:46:42.380
know what it's like. R .I .P. Verne Troyer. R

00:46:42.380 --> 00:46:45.420
.I .P. This was a great line. Yeah, this was

00:46:45.420 --> 00:46:47.539
probably the best joke of the entire movie. I'm

00:46:47.539 --> 00:46:50.000
glad they left that one blooper in. So yeah,

00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:53.559
that's The Love Guru. I will say, so this movie,

00:46:53.739 --> 00:46:58.659
not good. Very, very not good. There are a lot

00:46:58.659 --> 00:47:00.139
of problems with it and everything like that.

00:47:00.820 --> 00:47:05.019
However, for a bad comedy, there was some good

00:47:05.019 --> 00:47:07.260
jokes in it. I actually did not mind a lot of

00:47:07.260 --> 00:47:10.179
the jokes in it. So I laughed more than I thought

00:47:10.179 --> 00:47:12.949
I would. That doesn't defend this movie. That

00:47:12.949 --> 00:47:14.949
doesn't make it any better. But I laughed more

00:47:14.949 --> 00:47:20.070
than I thought it would. Story in a comedy. I

00:47:20.070 --> 00:47:21.750
mean, I'm not going to go into story in a comedy.

00:47:21.869 --> 00:47:24.190
It's predictable. Let's just call it what it

00:47:24.190 --> 00:47:26.610
is. You know where you're going pretty much the

00:47:26.610 --> 00:47:31.750
entire time. This one, no real twists or turns

00:47:31.750 --> 00:47:33.570
or anything like that. Once they kind of like

00:47:33.570 --> 00:47:35.190
have an idea, you're just like, okay, I know

00:47:35.190 --> 00:47:37.349
where this is going. Like when they go, oh, we

00:47:37.349 --> 00:47:39.599
need to regress you. Okay. They're going to go

00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:41.940
find a parent or something like that. And there's

00:47:41.940 --> 00:47:44.579
going to be a scene or that kind of stuff, you

00:47:44.579 --> 00:47:47.639
know? So I'm not going to get on the story about

00:47:47.639 --> 00:47:50.679
this one because all comedies are fairly predictable

00:47:50.679 --> 00:47:53.639
for the most part. Could they have done some

00:47:53.639 --> 00:47:56.079
things different? Of course, definitely. There's

00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:57.739
definitely ways they could have probably written

00:47:57.739 --> 00:48:01.679
a better movie. Let's talk about the real issue

00:48:01.679 --> 00:48:04.539
of this movie. And I'm not even going to say.

00:48:06.090 --> 00:48:10.630
It does bug me, Mike Myers, as Guru Pika. It

00:48:10.630 --> 00:48:16.309
does. It's not that it doesn't bother me. But

00:48:16.309 --> 00:48:19.269
his is a little more understandable when you

00:48:19.269 --> 00:48:22.230
think about his character and how he's an American

00:48:22.230 --> 00:48:25.630
that just grew up in this guru life. And so he

00:48:25.630 --> 00:48:28.570
adopted the facial hair and the guru lifestyle

00:48:28.570 --> 00:48:32.530
and stuff like that. I understand that a little

00:48:32.530 --> 00:48:34.760
more. I'm not saying it's good. I'm not saying

00:48:34.760 --> 00:48:37.179
it's okay, but I understand it a little more.

00:48:39.179 --> 00:48:42.460
The offensive stereotype that I have for this

00:48:42.460 --> 00:48:47.079
movie is Guru Tugging My Pooda, played by Ben

00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:52.420
Kingsley. That he was cross -eyed, that he had

00:48:52.420 --> 00:48:55.820
an accent. That's when it's just like, hey, this

00:48:55.820 --> 00:48:59.900
is too much. Come on now. Especially somebody

00:48:59.900 --> 00:49:03.989
like Ben Kingsley who... I'll give it to him.

00:49:04.010 --> 00:49:08.809
He was Gandhi. This is not... You can do these

00:49:08.809 --> 00:49:12.449
kind of things, but my problem is that the entire

00:49:12.449 --> 00:49:15.570
time it's just played for laughs. It's just goofy

00:49:15.570 --> 00:49:18.130
shit played for laughs, like the stink mop and

00:49:18.130 --> 00:49:19.989
that kind of stuff, or the fact that he's just

00:49:19.989 --> 00:49:22.690
cross -eyed. He makes a joke about masturbation

00:49:22.690 --> 00:49:25.210
and you'll go cross -eyed and that kind of stuff.

00:49:27.329 --> 00:49:29.630
That's my problem with this stereotype, this

00:49:29.630 --> 00:49:33.320
depiction. It's one thing, like if you play it

00:49:33.320 --> 00:49:36.579
seriously, I know that doesn't really work in

00:49:36.579 --> 00:49:39.239
a comedy, but if you play it seriously, I probably

00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:42.260
would have less problems with it. The fact that

00:49:42.260 --> 00:49:46.820
he only existed pretty much as a joke and like

00:49:46.820 --> 00:49:52.539
somebody to be the leader for Mike Myers' transformation

00:49:52.539 --> 00:49:58.039
into Pitka. Yeah, that's where it's not okay,

00:49:58.099 --> 00:50:00.760
really. So that's the problem is like what...

00:50:00.989 --> 00:50:03.469
They do with the other guru names, for example.

00:50:03.710 --> 00:50:06.789
Tug of My Buddha is just one of several gurus

00:50:06.789 --> 00:50:09.530
that he learns from. There is Cheta from Unda.

00:50:10.070 --> 00:50:14.369
Then there's also guru Hathasmalvina. That's

00:50:14.369 --> 00:50:16.010
where you get to some of the problems, I think.

00:50:16.789 --> 00:50:20.349
And the pictures are real people, I think. I

00:50:20.349 --> 00:50:22.309
can't tell for sure. Obviously, I don't know

00:50:22.309 --> 00:50:25.409
what these people look like. But, yeah, it's

00:50:25.409 --> 00:50:28.369
just... I'm not okay with some of that stuff.

00:50:28.570 --> 00:50:30.829
Like, I don't know. That's where it gets a little

00:50:30.829 --> 00:50:33.070
much for me. As I said before, like, I don't

00:50:33.070 --> 00:50:34.769
think any of it's good, but at least I understand

00:50:34.769 --> 00:50:37.409
a little more where Pit Cut comes from. The rest

00:50:37.409 --> 00:50:40.690
of them, though, not so much. So that is definitely

00:50:40.690 --> 00:50:42.809
the problem with this movie. And if you get beyond

00:50:42.809 --> 00:50:44.929
that, which you shouldn't, but if you do get

00:50:44.929 --> 00:50:47.510
beyond that, it's just kind of a paint -by -numbers

00:50:47.510 --> 00:50:50.289
movie. And that's another issue with it. It's

00:50:50.289 --> 00:50:53.110
just kind of, you know, where it's going to go.

00:50:53.110 --> 00:50:55.110
You know what it's going to do. It's going to

00:50:55.110 --> 00:51:00.340
be... for the most part a forgettable rom -com

00:51:00.340 --> 00:51:02.579
if you can call it a rom -com even because they

00:51:02.579 --> 00:51:04.559
just get back together in like 30 seconds it's

00:51:04.559 --> 00:51:07.539
just kind of oh yeah i love you i'm so sorry

00:51:07.539 --> 00:51:10.400
oh my god i stood up to my mother we're back

00:51:10.400 --> 00:51:13.619
together i'm gonna rocket hockey now which is

00:51:13.619 --> 00:51:15.579
weird in itself that they got back together so

00:51:15.579 --> 00:51:20.019
quickly now they broke up and yes it was him

00:51:20.019 --> 00:51:21.539
that did the dumping and everything like that

00:51:21.539 --> 00:51:23.940
and she just immediately goes to one of his rivals

00:51:23.940 --> 00:51:27.340
and starts hooking up you know so yeah they get

00:51:27.340 --> 00:51:29.360
back together quickly it feels like it's very

00:51:29.360 --> 00:51:31.579
rushed that they just get back together because

00:51:31.579 --> 00:51:34.500
they realized hey we're going a little long for

00:51:34.500 --> 00:51:36.420
comedy maybe we just need to wrap it up and get

00:51:36.420 --> 00:51:39.300
going because uh yeah we still have three more

00:51:39.300 --> 00:51:42.099
games or four more games really to crush into

00:51:42.099 --> 00:51:47.099
this last 30 minutes maybe so we need to get

00:51:47.099 --> 00:51:49.039
them back together he needs to be good again

00:51:49.039 --> 00:51:51.019
and then we need to get to our final conflict

00:51:51.019 --> 00:51:53.630
before the end of the movie I don't know that's

00:51:53.630 --> 00:51:55.530
probably one of the biggest issues I had with

00:51:55.530 --> 00:51:57.849
this was the fact that everything felt rushed

00:51:57.849 --> 00:51:59.949
at the end like it just felt like okay we're

00:51:59.949 --> 00:52:02.409
back together now this is great oh no there's

00:52:02.409 --> 00:52:04.550
one more conflict okay it's great again you know

00:52:04.550 --> 00:52:07.869
and that kind of stuff and what the hell is with

00:52:07.869 --> 00:52:10.610
this last hockey game they took so much time

00:52:10.610 --> 00:52:14.050
to get elephants to fuck on there and there's

00:52:14.050 --> 00:52:18.750
no way anybody in the NHL would have left that

00:52:18.750 --> 00:52:22.530
much or let that much happen so that they could

00:52:22.530 --> 00:52:27.170
just distract the crowd in Roanoke from their

00:52:27.170 --> 00:52:29.210
problems and everything like that. There's no

00:52:29.210 --> 00:52:32.750
way that you can do with 30 seconds left in the

00:52:32.750 --> 00:52:35.610
game, A, score one time, B, get a penalty shot,

00:52:35.769 --> 00:52:38.849
and C, sit there until you got two fucking elephants

00:52:38.849 --> 00:52:43.429
literally to go fuck on the ice. There's no way

00:52:43.429 --> 00:52:45.570
this was going to happen. And if you think this

00:52:45.570 --> 00:52:47.789
is just me being like, Mike, it's a movie, it's

00:52:47.789 --> 00:52:51.010
unrealistic, everything like that. This is where

00:52:51.010 --> 00:52:53.650
it's crazy, though. That doesn't happen. Even

00:52:53.650 --> 00:52:55.889
in sports movies, that doesn't happen. You don't

00:52:55.889 --> 00:52:59.170
wait 20 minutes for somebody to get some elephants

00:52:59.170 --> 00:53:02.469
up there to distract everybody so that your star

00:53:02.469 --> 00:53:05.150
player can now shoot. That should be totally

00:53:05.150 --> 00:53:08.369
unfair. How do those elephants not distract Lecoq,

00:53:08.530 --> 00:53:11.429
for example? He's now distracted, too. That's

00:53:11.429 --> 00:53:13.829
unfair advantage towards the Maple Leafs. And

00:53:13.829 --> 00:53:15.710
I know they're a bunch of cheaters, but come

00:53:15.710 --> 00:53:20.530
on now. Okay, I'm off my soapbox. I think. The

00:53:20.530 --> 00:53:22.550
last thing I want to talk about is the fact that

00:53:22.550 --> 00:53:26.530
this movie feels juvenile. And I'm not saying

00:53:26.530 --> 00:53:28.610
that the Austin Powers movies weren't because

00:53:28.610 --> 00:53:30.449
that's definitely where I want to connect these

00:53:30.449 --> 00:53:33.369
two because they're very similar in nature. And

00:53:33.369 --> 00:53:37.130
they did themselves by saying, oh, this is Mike

00:53:37.130 --> 00:53:40.250
Myers' first original character since Austin

00:53:40.250 --> 00:53:44.349
Powers. You know, so they did it themselves advertising

00:53:44.349 --> 00:53:47.559
it that way. So I'm comparing the two. And yes,

00:53:47.659 --> 00:53:49.619
there are some juvenile moments in the Austin

00:53:49.619 --> 00:53:52.400
Powers movies. They are a product of their time,

00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:58.519
but they also aren't all penis jokes. Like, yes,

00:53:58.579 --> 00:54:01.619
we can all point to moments in the original three

00:54:01.619 --> 00:54:03.880
where it's like, that spaceship looks like a

00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:06.860
Johnson. What are you doing there? Oh, look on

00:54:06.860 --> 00:54:11.039
the screen. It's two balls. Two balls, one strike.

00:54:11.099 --> 00:54:13.360
You know, like that whole bit. We can all point

00:54:13.360 --> 00:54:16.019
to that. honestly that's one of my favorite bits

00:54:16.019 --> 00:54:20.219
of that movie this is just ball torture the movie

00:54:20.219 --> 00:54:25.599
for joke laugh purposes so every single every

00:54:25.599 --> 00:54:28.699
single joke seemed to be related to a penis or

00:54:28.699 --> 00:54:30.760
something like that or like getting hit in the

00:54:30.760 --> 00:54:33.539
nuts that kind of stuff the guy's name is fucking

00:54:33.539 --> 00:54:37.780
lecoq grande like they knew what they were doing

00:54:37.780 --> 00:54:39.800
here you know that everything was going to be

00:54:39.800 --> 00:54:42.630
a penis joke we can make penis jokes I'm not

00:54:42.630 --> 00:54:45.329
saying we can't make penis jokes, but a whole

00:54:45.329 --> 00:54:49.889
movie of them gets to be a lot and it doesn't

00:54:49.889 --> 00:54:52.570
hit as funny as the first time or the second

00:54:52.570 --> 00:54:55.889
time. That's the thing with this movie is when

00:54:55.889 --> 00:54:58.750
you get hit over the head with another balls

00:54:58.750 --> 00:55:03.090
joke and it's the 20th balls joke, it's just

00:55:03.090 --> 00:55:06.210
not funny. It's just not. And that's the problem

00:55:06.210 --> 00:55:08.829
is it's just not funny. There are some good jokes

00:55:08.829 --> 00:55:11.090
in here, and there are many times where I laughed

00:55:11.090 --> 00:55:14.190
a lot at this movie. So don't feel like I'm shitting

00:55:14.190 --> 00:55:16.670
on it in that aspect, because there are some

00:55:16.670 --> 00:55:22.050
times where I did laugh. However, everything

00:55:22.050 --> 00:55:25.409
being about balls or dicks or penises, that kind

00:55:25.409 --> 00:55:28.409
of stuff, that's not funny. And that's where

00:55:28.409 --> 00:55:31.250
it drove me too much. I am okay with the occasional

00:55:31.250 --> 00:55:34.090
dick joke. I think they're hysterical. There

00:55:34.090 --> 00:55:38.389
are some movies that do it to perfection. This

00:55:38.389 --> 00:55:41.190
one, no, because there's just too many of them.

00:55:41.389 --> 00:55:43.789
So if I have to give a rating to this thing,

00:55:43.849 --> 00:55:49.409
I'm going to give it a half of a carpet on wheels.

00:55:50.550 --> 00:55:52.610
That's what I will give it. There's a bunch of

00:55:52.610 --> 00:55:55.010
times where he's riding around on a carpet on

00:55:55.010 --> 00:55:57.909
wheels. Yeah, so I'm going to give it a half

00:55:57.909 --> 00:56:00.630
a carpet on wheels for this thing because it

00:56:00.630 --> 00:56:03.869
was a terrible movie, but it did make me laugh

00:56:03.869 --> 00:56:07.880
at some points. All right. I did not expect this

00:56:07.880 --> 00:56:11.420
episode to involve so many penises, so many cocks,

00:56:11.420 --> 00:56:16.039
so many balls. I feel like I need to do a female

00:56:16.039 --> 00:56:19.760
rom -com or something like that. Female drama.

00:56:19.980 --> 00:56:22.059
How about that? Female drama to make up for this

00:56:22.059 --> 00:56:24.400
one next. I feel like that's the case. That's

00:56:24.400 --> 00:56:26.420
where I need to go next because this one feels

00:56:26.420 --> 00:56:30.079
like juvenile guy humor. I feel like I've said

00:56:30.079 --> 00:56:33.449
too much about cocks and stuff. I think next

00:56:33.449 --> 00:56:35.789
time that's, that's where we need to go. That's

00:56:35.789 --> 00:56:38.829
where we need to, to change things. So yeah,

00:56:38.889 --> 00:56:44.570
that is the love guru. That is the game for a

00:56:44.570 --> 00:56:46.869
movie podcast where we ask you, are you game

00:56:46.869 --> 00:56:48.630
for a movie? Thank you guys very much for listening

00:56:48.630 --> 00:56:51.889
to me rant about balls and hockey. I appreciate

00:56:51.889 --> 00:56:55.289
you guys listening in. Thank you guys to WKMU

00:56:55.289 --> 00:56:58.289
radio podcast. You guys are awesome. Sky and

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blue. We appreciate you. And yeah. I've been

00:57:01.610 --> 00:57:03.369
Mike with the Game for a Movie podcast. I'll

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see you next time.