You know what that sound means? It's another
episode of Game for a Movie where we ask, are
you game for a movie? My name is Mike. I will
be your host tonight. I have got a double feature
for you tonight. It is two bad Nicole Kidman
movies because one of them just recently came
out. But of course, we're going to jump into
what are we drinking? Well, it is 930 in the
morning, so I am not drinking quite yet. I've
got a big, tall Coca -Cola because I don't drink
coffee. So, yeah. That's what I'm drinking, which
is good that I'm getting this out of the way
early because we've got two movies to cover.
First things first, this was supposed to be about
this movie, The Time Machine from 2005. Long
story short, did you know that Hoopla, the app
you can use with your library to check out things,
has a daily limit of what you can check out?
I found out that the hard way after I had done
some preparation, you know, by drinking heavily
before I was going to watch it. And I was in
the mood where it was just like, okay, I can't
watch The Time Machine. I'll find something else.
So I found The Stepford Wives because I knew
that Nicole Kidman had a movie coming out soon.
As well as because it kind of follows the same
theme. It was a remake. It was made around the
same time. And it does have a little sci -fi
aspect to it as well. I'm not going to give you
like all of the trivia or anything like that.
But I'm just going to give you some of the key
points before we jump into the full movie. The
Stepford Wives was written by Ira Levin and Paul
Rudnick. Ira Levin looks like he was an actual
author and playwright and composer. And so he
wrote the book version of The Stepford Wives.
And then this Paul Rudnick. basically converted
it to the movie. Paul Rudnick had written for
such movies as Sister Act and Sister Act 2, Adam's
Family Values, In -N -Out, which is also where
he worked for the first time with director Frank
Oz. Frank Oz is the director of The Stepford
Wives. Frank Oz has a hell of a filmography.
He directed The Dark Crystal, The Muppets Take
Manhattan, Little Shop of Horrors, Dirty Rotten
Scoundrels, What About Bob, Muppet Vision 3D,
The Indian in the Cupboard, In and Out, as I
said before, Bowfinger, Stepford Wives, Death
at a Funeral. And on top of all that, he also
was the voice of Yoda and many, many, many, many,
many of the Muppets. So you have definitely seen
something with Frank Oz in it. You also may have
seen something he's directed. So yeah, this is
a pedigree. This is a pretty solid pedigree for
this movie. And I'll start off by saying The
Stepford Wives is not the worst movie I've seen.
By far. I think I've seen a lot, lot worse. And
part of what helps it in that aspect is the cast.
This cast is insane. It is Nicole Kidman. Matthew
Broderick, Bette Midler, Glenn Close, Christopher
Walken, John Lovitz. We've got David Marshall
Grant and Roger Bart. And we even have Faith
Hill in this movie. This movie is an hour and
33 minutes long. It's PG -13. It was released
on June 11, 2004. And it currently sits critic
score 26%, audience score 30%. So it does count
for a bad movie. So let's jump into the details
of the movie itself. As always, I'm going to
give you everything that happens in this movie
just so I can save you some time so you don't
have to see it. So it starts with a speech from
the EBS Network president. The EBS Network is
a television network that runs a lot of reality
shows and stuff like that. The president is Joanna
Eberhardt, and she is played by Nicole Kidman,
of course. Some of these shows, basically, they...
send couples to spend a week with other people
and decide if they can do better it is a show
called i can do better uh which barbara on the
show uh basically dumps her boyfriend hank because
yes she can do better she's had sex with like
five different guys uh this show is also hosted
by billy bush so this aged horribly um but yeah
you know both of the shows they showcased They're
feminist shows. They're very female positive,
that kind of thing. And this is the thing that
Joanna wants to kind of establish. She wants
to make these feminist programs and these female
-led things. And after her speech is kind of
wrapping up, Hank from I Can Do Better, the guy
that got dumped, shows up to the speech and calls
her out. And Hank also pulls out a gun and starts
firing shots at Joanna. But she survives. We
also learn that Hank shot Barbara and four of
her five boyfriends. And because of that, they
have a bunch of lawsuits they're facing. And
the network can't cover these lawsuits, so they
let Joanna go. So they don't have to deal with
the ramifications of this show. Even though she
pretends to be fine, she has a complete nervous
collapse. And this is where Walter's introduced.
Walter is the vice president of this network,
played by Matthew Broderick, and also happens
to be Joanna's husband. And he has quit the network,
too, because he doesn't want to work there without
Joanna. So they live in New York City right now.
They are trying to make a new start. That's what
Joanna kind of wants to do. She wants to step
back from it all and make a new start. She convinces
Walter to find somewhere else to live. They also
have two kids, and they move to Stepford, Connecticut.
When they're moving into their house, which,
by the way, they didn't look at this house beforehand.
They just kind of chose a house in a town and
moved there. And they get introduced by one of
the neighbors. It's Mrs. Wellington. Mrs. Wellington's
full name is... Claire Wellington. Of course,
how can I forget that? It's Claire Wellington
and she is played by Glenn Close. She kind of
walks them through it and shows them their new
house. It's a smart house that does like the
security. It talks to the fridge. It can also
do things like test the commodes for blood sugar
and everything else. Very strange, but you know,
that's something that they wanted to address
in this. And they also have a robo puppy. Getting
used to the fact that she was fired and basically
she just goes catatonic. So Joanna's just there
like catatonic for a while, but all of their
stuff magically gets moved in. Walter wants her
to get out of the house. So Claire offers to
take Joanna and show her around things like the
men's club, which they don't go into obviously,
but they do see that it's the men's club. And
she also takes her to the Stepford day spa and,
and the Stepford day spa are all the women of
Stepford. And they all are, like, dressed up
to the nines, like, dresses, that kind of stuff,
while they're working out. And they do, like,
pole workout exercises. That's what they were
doing. Meanwhile, Walter is driving around, and
he sees that these guys are, like, golfing, and
their wives are, like, carrying everything behind
them. He also visits the men's club, which is,
like... A bunch of sports cars out front and
that kind of thing. And this is our first kind
of inclination that something's not feeling right
about this so far. But we don't know exactly
what. We can't exactly put our finger on it.
Now, if you've seen a trailer or anything like
that, you know there's something wrong with the
wives of Stepford. There's something not quite
kosher. Joanna keeps showing up to these things
dressed in all black and she stands up. She stands
out against the women because the women are wearing
like these floral dresses and stuff, the bright
colors, everything like that. And so at the 4th
of July Fest, she meets one of the other people
that just recently moved there, Bobby Markowitz.
Bobby Markowitz is Bette Midler and John Lovitz
plays her husband. John Lovett's character is
Dave Markowitz. They had just moved to the area.
Bobby is a well -respected author. And this is
only kind of important later, but it is mentioned
they are Jewish. It just needs to be said because
there is a part later that actually deals with
this. Not really. It's kind of a throwaway joke,
but I just figured you need to know this information.
We also meet Roger, who is an architect. Roger
is played by Roger Bart. His name is Roger Bannister.
And his husband, Jerry, Jerry Harmon, who's played
by David Marshall Grant. Roger, just for stereotypes,
is kind of the more feminine of the two of them.
But yeah, they seem normal enough and everything
like that. The Markowitz's are constantly bickering.
That's that's constantly one of the things that
happens. Roger and Jerry. You don't get it early
on, but later you kind of realize Jerry doesn't
want Roger to be as flamboyant as he is. He wants
him to be a little more casual, especially because
he is an attorney and he's a little more straight
laced. You know, at this Fourth of July fest,
there is a square dance going on. And everyone
starts having fun. They're dancing. Glenn Close
is like commanding everybody to do do -si -do,
that kind of stuff. And then one of the girls
starts like spinning and spinning and spinning
and spinning and spinning. And she's like laughing
the whole time. But she keeps spinning over and
over and over again. This is Sarah. Sarah is
played by Faith Hill. Our friends think maybe
she's drunk. Maybe. Maybe it's just, you know,
she had too much or something like that. Even
though, I don't know if you've ever been drunk.
I can't assume for you. But if you keep spinning
like that, I would fall down. Especially drunk.
But, you know, she eventually gets down to the
ground. And then we get introduced to Mike. Mike
is played by Christopher Walken. Mike is also
Glenn Close's husband, Mike Wellington. He shows
up to help her. And Joanna's like having questions
about what happened. Cause she's just like, what
the hell was that? What just went on? Walter
kind of shoots her down as being like snide and
suspicious of everything. And then he kind of
threatens to end their marriage. Like after everything,
after everything goes down there, they're talking
that night and she's like, but like, who's this
Mike guy? And like, why, why? Was he the only
one helping her? Why didn't anybody else step
up and that kind of stuff? And he's just kind
of done with it. He thinks she's always suspicious
of everything. And so he kind of threatens to
end their marriage because she can't be trusting
and she doesn't, she always needs to be suspicious
of something. And so at this point I've just
called it, it's gaslight the movie pretty much.
Cause a lot of these moments you'll see Walter
does a lot of like, oh if you can't trust this
then i'm breaking up with you i'm ending this
marriage you know and he kind of says that it's
joanna's fault because she pushes the kids away
she acts entitled their marriage is falling apart
that kind of stuff and so after making her feel
like complete shit threatening to end their marriage
uh he gets to her degree to not wear black and
dress a little more stepford so She agrees that
she's been a little more standoffish because
of just, you know, everything that's been happening
and everything like that. So she agrees to try
to be a little more Stepford. She dresses with
more colors and she has Bobby and Roger at her
house. She's like baking that kind of stuff.
So Bobby, Roger and Joanna are all talking. About
maybe they should go visit Sarah and see what
happens. See if she's okay and everything like
that. And so they go to Sarah's house. And the
door is unlocked. And Roger kind of pushes it
open. And they walk in. And she's obviously having
sex. Like it's obvious she's having sex. While
they are there, Roger finds like this remote
marked Sarah. And he starts messing with buttons.
This controls like she starts walking down the
stairs, but then walking back up. And it also
does things like controls her boob size because
those grow and then shrink, grow and then shrink.
And they realize that Sarah's kind of out there
and they're just like, oh, no, we got to run
away. Oh, God, she can't know that we heard her
having sex. So they run away and go to Bobby's
house. Bobby's house is a complete mess. Like
this is just stuff strewn everywhere. And I also
wanted to be known. She was watching Harvey Birdman
attorney at law, which great. Good job, Bobby.
I love that. They start talking about like all
of the reasons why they moved to Stepford. They
each have their own reason and they're going
to give it a try and be happy. So like Joanna
moved to Stepford for a new start. Bobby moved
to Stepford to find writing inspiration again.
And Roger doesn't feel as close with Jerry as
he once did and wants to kind of like rekindle
their relationship and see where things go, that
kind of stuff. So they're all going to give it
a shot. They're going to try to be happy. They're
going to try to be a little more Stepford. Meanwhile,
at the men's club, men's association. They have
like video games. They have NASCAR on the TVs.
And Walter is driving a robot like in like Robot
Wars, like where they're smashing each other,
that kind of stuff. And this is juxtaposed. There
we go. There's a word. With the Stepford Book
Club, which Bobby and Joanna go to. And the girls
are. basically Joanna is talking about this like
philosophical book. She read as her latest book,
but that's not the book they're talking about.
No. Claire says the book they're talking about
is Christmas keepsakes and collectibles. And
they still make it seem like it's July and they're
reading a Christmas book. And like I said before,
remember Bobby's Jewish. This all feels like
it was set up to just. make a couple Jewish jokes
at her expense. And then there's also like a
singing practice of here comes Santa Claus where
they make Bobby wear like reindeer antlers just
because she's not going to sing. Here comes Santa
Claus. Again, it goes back to the men's club
and Walter won the robot wars. And one of the
guys owes him 20 bucks. And so he called the
one guy calls his wife in. And hits a button
on this remote. And she basically becomes like
an ATM and spits out $20 to him. Like this is
the time where Walter learns what's going on.
He knows now that some of the women have something.
Don't know what. Don't know if all of them do.
But he knows something. Especially because she
just spit out like $20 out of her mouth. I don't
know if it's the next day or it's sometime has
passed. Joanna is really trying and she is decided
to bake cupcakes for the kids while they're all
off at summer camp. And she has baked like 4
,000 cupcakes. There is cupcakes everywhere.
Bobby comes over and is just like, did you bake
enough kind of thing? You know, making jokes,
that kind of thing. Dave comes with Bobby and
Walter and Dave are going to head to their men's
meeting. Joanna and Bobby are now, they're thrown
off. They're just like, they go to this men's
meetings all the time. What if we follow them?
So they go and follow them. And they're appearing
inside. And inside this meeting is also Roger
and Jerry. The other men close the blinds so
no one can see in. So Bobby and Joanna try to
break into the second floor. They're kind of
like exploring the second floor and Bobby says
to her, she knows something's up. She goes, the
women are all hot sex things and the men are
all drooling nerds. Isn't that weird to you?
And Joanna says, no, because I work in television.
That's kind of accurate. I'm not going to lie.
As somebody who works in television, that's hit
a little too close to home. As they're sneaking
around the second floor, they start to hear somebody.
It turns out it's Roger. Roger catches the girls,
but at least it was him and it wasn't the other
men. You know, it was him. The other men are
following behind Roger and he hides Joanna and
Bobby and gets them like out of there. But when
the men show up, they tell Roger that he is going
to go in this room. He's going to look down and,
you know, it's one of those lights on faces where
he looks down and he's like shocked and there's
this light in his face, but we don't know what
he saw. It's been a couple days. Bobby and Joanna
are starting to get worried because Roger hasn't
contacted them in forever. So they go to his
house to kind of like try to see what's up. And
they knock over a trash can. And wouldn't you
know it, in this trash can, it just so happens
to have some of his favorite clothes and some
of his favorite brands. And they're like, no,
he wouldn't do this. No, he wouldn't get rid
of his Versace suit and everything like that.
There also is like a, I don't know, a festival
or something happening downtown. So they go downtown
and they see Roger and they kind of wave and
he doesn't wave back. And Jerry kind of takes
the reins and says, yes, my husband, he has decided
he wants to run for state Senate. He's a gay
Republican that I always wanted him to be, you
know, and Joanna and Bobby are both like, no,
he wouldn't do this. Basically, the joke is that
it's a drab suit, and that's the reason why,
not the fact that he went Republican all of a
sudden. So it's not the real Roger. They know.
And not only do they know, they both are starting
to freak out. So Joanna has a plan. She's going
to get the kids from summer camp, and they're
going to leave. And Walter kind of catches on
to this plan, and he locks the door. And is just
pissed at her. And, like, again, gaslights her.
You're never going to change. You don't trust
anything. Just because Roger wanted to change
for his husband doesn't mean he's all of a sudden
a completely different person, you know? So,
but he also says at the same time that they can
go back to the city tomorrow if she wants. Like,
he kind of relents a little bit and says they
can go back to the city if she wants to. So they
kind of go to sleep. She's thinking they're going
to leave tomorrow. And Joanna gets woken up in
the middle of the night by the robo puppy. The
robo puppy has something in his mouth and she
grabs it and it's a remote marked Joanna. And
so this gets her to like go into full research
mode. She grabs her computer and does some research
on the other women of Stepford, trying to figure
out who they were before they were in Stepford.
And it turns out all of them are extremely successful.
like extremely successful women and now that
they're in stepford she's not seeing those same
women you know it's not it's not the person that
started their own company and made millions of
dollars before they moved to stepford it's not
the youngest female pilot in history you know
that that kind of stuff and so she knows something's
happening so she goes to bobby's house to try
to Try to explain what she saw as well as get
everything going so they can run away. And when
she gets there, she gets into Bobby's place and
it is spotless. Like there's no shit everywhere.
It is completely spotless. Bobby is wearing a
dress. She's a completely different person. And
Joanna is just like, what happened to Bobby?
What's going on? And as she's trying to convince
Joanna to change, she accidentally sets her hand
on fire. Which is this like terrible CGI out
of nowhere. Like she doesn't seem to feel it,
but it's just a CGI of her hand on fire. And
now she knows this really isn't Bobby. Like there's
no way this could be her. So she's now panicked.
She needs to get out of there. She needs to get
the kids from camp and she needs to go. So she's
calling the camp. Apparently Walter has taken
the kids out of day camp and seems to be using
them kind of as a bargaining chip. So Joanna
goes to the men's club where as she walks in,
there's a family portrait of the new her waiting.
You know, it's the blonde like step for dress
and everything like that. Standing with this
family portrait made of them. And then the men
appear out of nowhere, like wearing their blazers
and kind of circle around her. This is when Walter
kind of finally breaks down and says, why? He
wants to do this. She's just better than him
at everything. And he feels under her and like
she's always better than him at every last thing.
And so that's what we learn about all these men.
All these men are feeling belittled. So they
change their women to support them. It's supposed
to be them being supported, not the other way
around. In order to show Joanna kind of what's
going to happen, Mike hits a button. And there's
a promotional video about what's going to happen
and that she's basically going to become a robot
controlled by her man and is going to be Stepford
Wive forever. Also, we learn in a throwaway line
that the men aren't actually like named their
actual names. Mike, for example, used to work
at Microsoft. So his real like name, we don't
actually know. He's just calling himself Mike
because he used to work at Microsoft. I don't
know what Walter would be called because he worked
at EBS. So I don't know what his name would be.
But Joanna's pleading with Walter. She's on the
verge of tears and she says, can they say I love
you and mean it? This is real. This is who I
am and everything like that. And Mike uses the
remote again. and raises this column holding
this stepford wife that joanna will become and
so she has like one last real play she kisses
walter very passionately and walter doesn't say
anything and he walks to the column and joanna
kind of realizes okay she's she's done so she
walks the column too and so mike hits the button
the column lowers and basically Walter's going
to do the procedure and make her a Stepford wife.
So now it flashes to a grocery store and all
the Stepford wives are there. And then the like
slow motion blonde Joanna rounds the corner.
And this is it. She's gotten the Stepfordization.
They get a special event thrown for them that
is essentially like. It's almost like a new wedding
kind of thing where they reunite them as robot
and husband. And everybody starts waltzing and
the perfect town remains perfect. Or so it seems.
Because Walter sneaks away from the party and
goes and finds where the actual wives are being
kept. Or at least the computers, the chips, or
whatever it is. We don't know exactly what he's
looking for, but he's looking for something.
And basically Walter... just starts hitting every
button imaginable until he figures out how to
reverse the effects of the chips. And so he's
just slamming different buttons and stuff like
that. And all of a sudden, he finds one that
works. And the program gets deleted. For whatever
reason, when the program gets deleted, the women
glow. It's never addressed. They just start glowing.
And like, it also doesn't, it's never addressed
if you can see the glow, like if you're one of
the men standing there. And this is all happening
while Joanna has walked with Mike outside to
distract him from everything going on. The women
start reverting back to their old selves and
they like grab the remotes and break them. And
then Mike starts to realize something's going
on. Like he starts hearing commotion and everything.
He runs inside. Turns out. Yeah. Joanna was never
a robot. She had been playing them all. Walter
comes back from his mission and is like, I've
been successful. This is great. Everything like
that. And Mike is pissed because he knows his
whole plan has been like his whole plan is ruined
because of Walter. So he gets something to smash
Walter with. But Joanna sees it coming and grab
something and smashes Mike. Knocking his head
clean off. Yes, Mike was a robot. And it was
Claire the whole time that made him. Claire basically
wanted a better world where men are men and women
were loved and cherished. And she was also a
successful woman before Stepford as well. She
was a brain surgeon and an engineer. Even though
she was this total package, Mike cheated on her
with Patricia, her research assistant. So Claire
murdered both of them and then decided she wanted
Mike back, but wanted to make him a robot. So
he couldn't leave her and she could make her
world a better place. And one of the lines, this
is coming from somebody who used to live in Connecticut.
This is the best line of the whole thing. She
goes, where would people not notice a town full
of robots? Connecticut. That line got me so hard.
I laughed so freaking hard. And after all the
women were changed, then she was going to change
the men. And it was just going to be this perfect
world where everybody loved each other. Everybody
was happy. basically claire was in control of
it all well after this long speech she picks
up mike's head she kisses it and she gets zapped
with again bad cgi and grabs the head before
she dies and dies so claire's been handled mike's
been handled they fixed all the women in the
town who they showed these bodies Like these
robot bodies that they'd be put into. It seems
like it's just a chip that was put in the real
women. And then they were just controlled. I
don't know why they showed these bodies that
they were becoming or whatever. It wasn't a full
robot. At least I don't think so. I don't know.
Because then there's also the scene where Bobby
burns her hand. And it's like, okay, if she was
human, she would feel that. I don't know. Are
they real robots? Are they humans with just this
chip inside their brain? It doesn't really make
sense. It's one or the other, not both, and it's
both. But yeah. Then it closes with an interview
on Larry King about all of their successes. Basically,
Roger is back to who he was. He's designing this
new building. Bobby has written a new book. And
Joanna is starting a new station with Walter
as her co -president, not vice president. And
then all the other men are left in Stepford under
house arrest. And it shows a scene of them all
at the store kind of trying to figure out where
certain things are at the grocery store. Because,
you know, men are inept always. Yeah, that is
the Stepford Wives. I told you already my problem
with, like, are they robots? Are they humans?
That kind of thing. And it's true. It is definitely
a big plot hole because I don't know what it
is. They showed the robot bodies like they were
going to be made into robots. It also makes me
wonder if they just like transferred the brain
over or something like that. But then the way
to solve everything was Walter just hit a couple
buttons and it deleted the program, which says
to me that it was a chip inside the women's heads.
I don't know. I don't know which was which with
that. So that's the biggest question I have after
watching this movie. Now, I said before, this
is not the worst movie I've seen. It actually
is pretty okay for the most part. The issue that
it comes across is there are many other movies
that do this and they do it way better. And so
even though some of the lines were funny, even
though the acting was okay, I will say, so the
acting was very over the top. Like, it's very
emotional acting. And I kind of think it works
for this, truthfully. Is it great? No. It's very
hammy. It's very that kind of stuff. And seeing
that Frank Oz, who works with a lot of Muppets,
was the director of this, it makes sense a little
bit. I enjoyed the overacting, though. I did.
I think it works for this movie. Is it great?
No. But I don't hate it. I know a lot of people
are just like, oh, yeah, this is very ham -fisted
acting. Yeah, I mean, this dude is used to acting
for Muppets, you know, where everything is just,
ah, that kind of stuff. I love the Muppets, just
so we're clear. That also may be part of it,
is the fact that I love the Muppets, so this
felt good for me. I don't know. So, yeah, it's
a lot of overacting, but truthfully, I think
it works for this film. I said before, a lot
of movies have done this and have done it better.
I think you can find a million movies better.
However, this is not terrible. There's a lot
of things that I wish they would have focused
more on the actual wives because we only saw
bits and pieces of what they were doing. And
it wasn't enough to scare me to be like. oh my
god i'm becoming one of them truthfully some
of the things they were doing kind of what women
in communities do um you know they gossip they
they have book clubs that kind of thing yeah
they're not reading christmas keepsakes and collectibles
but i've seen enough of these kind of towns where
things like this happen where you know they have
book clubs they have this day spa where they
work out together and do classes and stuff None
of it was so crazy that I'm going, oh, my God,
don't make me one of them. And it's partially
because they just didn't focus on that. I'm sure
there's plenty of things that they could have
focused on that would have made it, okay, I'm
not an autonomous person. That's, I think, what
the biggest deal was. I didn't feel there was
that many stakes in this because I didn't feel
like it looked that bad in comparison. yes losing
my autonomy i would hate that that would not
be okay and everything like that and i do think
they did a good job of doing that but the stuff
that they're like oh my god they're reading books
together this is not our real people oh my god
you know and okay you don't join a book club
then some of these things you can just walk away
from obviously this town wouldn't let you walk
away from it and i'd like to see that where all
of a sudden it's yeah i don't want to be in this
book club anymore and all of a sudden the women
start showing up at your door like why aren't
you in the book club like that kind of stuff
i think that would be better so again this movie's
not terrible there's better movies out there
um i'm going to give it this is probably what
might be one of my higher rankings uh i'm going
to give it a two out of five uh, remote controls
found by a robo puppy. So yeah, that's, uh, it's
not that bad. So that's the Stepford wives. I
am going to take a quick break before I jump
into the other bad Nicole Kidman movie that I
watched for this podcast. Cause we got a double
dip for you and I'm going to give a shout out
and play the promo for watch it. If you can podcast,
it is one of our new best friends in the podcast.
Diverse is what I will say. Um, I think that's
the best way to put it, right? Podcastiverse.
It's Dave and Liam. They create box sets of their
favorite movies and TV shows. They have a lot
of great episodes. Their latest one that I've
seen are films turning 25 in 2025. It's coming
today as this episode releases about the Wonder
Boys from 2000. So, yeah. definitely check them
out here is their promo and congratulations Dave
and Liam for getting this correct and their account
is run by Kenny as well so Kenny also great job
because I'm guessing you were part of this as
well so here you go the watch it if you can podcast
we've had them before on the show to do this
promo here it is again enjoy Dave Liam it's a
trailer watch it if you can podcast Join us for
each episode as we create box sets of our favourite
films and TV shows. We go through the cast to
see what else they've been in along with any
recommendations. We pick our favourite characters,
performances, moments and highlights from the
soundtrack too. We ask if there's anything to
make it better and look at the lasting legacy
of our pick. We have a little fun with our quick
fire round and finally, what else would you like
list based on themes from the episode? Maybe,
just maybe. You should watch it if you can. What
if they've already seen it? Well, you can watch
it again if you can. That is the Watch It If
You Can podcast. Enjoy them. Please check them
out after our episode, of course. But definitely
check them out. We love them. They are great.
Yeah. Okay. We've got one more dazzling image
on a silver screen for you. It's a double dip
because Nicole Kidman's latest movie, Holland,
yeah, it is not good. Holland is a 24 % critic
score and a 24 % audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.
Perfect 24 on that one. The director is Mimi
Cave. Mimi Cave is known for directing Fresh
from 2022. If you have not seen that one, that
is a fantastic movie. We'll say this is probably
not Mimi Cave's fault. I think she actually did
a decent job with directing it. That being said,
Holland, not great. And no, this is not about
the country Holland. This is about Holland, Michigan.
So here we go. We're going to talk about Holland.
Holland starts with... A overview of Holland,
Michigan. And mostly the tulips and the windmill
and everything like that. And it's a voiceover
by Nancy, our main character, played by Nicole
Kidman. And how she moved to Holland because
she just reached the end of her rope and she
found Fred. They also have a kid named Harry
together. Fred is played by Matthew McFadden.
And it starts with a missing earring. So Nancy
is trying to find her earring. She can't find
where it is. And she blames Candy. Candy is the
babysitter of Harry. And she calls Candy out
for stealing. And it turns out that Candy did
steal, but bacon, not an earring. So it's not
that really a big deal because truthfully, she
didn't steal the earring. Harry, of course, is
now pissed at Nancy because she kicked Candy
out of the house. So he calls Fred to complain.
Fred basically says they'll talk about it when
he gets home. He is an optometrist and he is
finishing his day. And then when he gets home,
Fred and Harry go to the garage where they are
making like a toy town with a train going through
it, everything like that. At this early in the
movie, they have said the word Holland 40 times,
I feel like. So if I were drinking for every
time they said Holland, I would be. hammered
um at dinner where she made a meatloaf by the
way i'm just calling that out now uh fred gets
mad at nancy because she didn't even look for
the earring before she just like dismissed candy
and you know it just kind of shows their relationship
it's just kind of again it feels like fred is
a little more controlling and i think Nancy has
let that happen almost because of whatever she
dealt with in the past. We never learn what her
history is. We just know that she found Fred
and decided to pick up everything and go to Holland,
Michigan. Fred also announces at this dinner
that he is going to a conference and he's going
to be away for the night. Apparently he goes
to a lot of conferences. This is a common thing
for this optometrist. We learn that Nancy is
a home ec teacher and we also meet Dave Delgado.
Dave Delgado is played by Gail Garcia Bernal.
I don't know if I pronounced that completely
correct, but I tried. They're like work besties
and they walk together at the school, like around
the track and stuff like that. And while they're
walking and talking about the fact that Fred
has another conference and Harry's mad because
candy. stole or candy got dismissed because nancy
thinks she stole an earring um there's a truck
that keeps revving like at the school just keeps
and dave tells her that it's the former bus driver
uh squiggs i need to pull up his full name but
squiggs squiggs growman played by jeff pope So
Squiggs got fired because they smelled booze
on his breath and he used to be the bus driver.
And that's kind of all we deal with right now.
Nancy goes to pick up Harry after school and
Harry wants to go to a sleepover. And Nancy's
kind of upset because she's like, well, while
your dad's gone, I thought we'd do pizza and
a movie. And she has Little Caesars and a blockbuster
movie. Love it. Harry, of course, wants to go
to sleepover. Nancy kind of realizes that Harry's
growing away a little bit, so she lets him go
to the sleepover. And she starts watching the
movie, and then she's alone and she's bored,
so she starts looking for the earring. And as
she's looking, she goes into the garage where
the toy train and the town are, and she finds
a box that maybe she shouldn't see. including
in this box is polaroid film not the pictures
but polaroid film and a parking ticket for madison
wisconsin which she's never been to and at that
time fred was supposed to be in fort wayne she
starts thinking maybe fred's cheating on her
maybe fred's having an affair and she tells dave
the next day and dave is kind of like Why would
he do that? He has you and he would be so lucky
and, you know, essentially hitting on her. It's
kind of a little strange when, you know, your
best friend is telling you her husband might
be having an affair and you start hitting on
her immediately. But, you know, do you? There's
another meal. And again, it is meatloaf. So I've
seen two meals and both of them have been meatloaf.
Fred at this dinner announces he has another
trip. And it's going to be three days. And he's
going to be in Greenville. And Nancy kind of
gets like passive aggressive about it. She's
like not happy about it. And part of it is because
she thinks he's cheating on her. And part of
it is just because he's always gone now. So she's
like sulking about it. And Fred confronts her.
And just trying to figure out what the deal is.
And one of the things they keep talking about
is that. When they have things like this, they
just hit the reset button and they restart and
it's okay. And they should do that now. And then
instead of like, you know, kissing her or whatever,
he boops around the nose, which is so cringy.
It's just so cringy. And then he goes and makes
poppin' milk. I don't know what poppin' milk
is, but he makes poppin' milk. So that night,
Nancy can't sleep. And she starts looking at
all the stuff in the box and she starts taking
pictures of it all. She wants this evidence and
everything like that. She hears a noise from
outside and it's a raccoon. She then starts to
see Harry, who's like running around wearing
this like Dutch outfit. He runs down the street.
and disappears and she's in the middle of the
town and all of a sudden like all these bodies
of dutch people are like around her and then
she starts sinking into the street and it's a
dream and i was just kind of like is this a like
mental breakdown something like that what's going
on uh it's the next day and we see squiggs's
kid sean sean is in dave's shop class and dave's
kind of Like he sees like a bruise or something
like that. And he's wondering if Sean's getting
hit at home. And basically he calls child protective
services to make sure everything is okay. He's
telling this to Nancy while they're at a diner,
basically having a meal together. And at the
same time, Nancy is convincing Dave that they're
going to break into Fred's office to find the
Polaroid pictures. While she is trying to convince
him, she grabs his hands, and it's kind of awkward.
It's like a touch like they're getting a little
closer than just friends at this point. He has
an optometrist appointment, and so she comes
up with a plan that he's going to find a little
thing to keep the bathroom window open at the
optometrist's so they can sneak in later and
get in. without it looking like it's open they
also are communicating through old nokia phones
and it's making me very nostalgic so dave shows
up for his appointment uh basically he does the
thing and he has great vision and then he wants
to go to the bathroom but before he can do that
fred dilates his pupils and so he goes into the
bathroom to try to put the thing in the window
to keep it open he drops the thing because he
can't really see and he figures out a different
way but he gets it open that's all that matters
it's kind of open whatever he's also freaking
out because he saw a cop and he wants to cancel
the break -in and he like runs off away from
the cop and basically you know he's running down
the street and the cop chases after him saying
hey hey hey come back here come back here he's
freaking out Well, it turns out he left his jacket
and the cop just gives him his jacket and just
begs him not to drive while his pupils are dilated.
So he gets into the car. Nancy joins in the car
and he wants to cancel the break in. He's not
OK with the same war because he has a past. He
has a history. But Nancy convinces him to want
to help out again. And because he's all of a
sudden feeling high and mighty, he kisses Nancy.
This is the first time I think this, and I thought
it many times during this film. You're trying
to prove that your husband is having an affair
and that you should leave him. And you do that
by getting help from a guy that you're obviously
attracted to and having an affair. Am I following
that correctly? Am I on the right track on that?
Okay. So that night he helps Nancy get into the
office and then he keeps watch. And of course,
as she's in there, Fred gets called about an
optometrist emergency and is going to the office.
This optometrist emergency is Gwen, who Nancy
had already lied about. She was going to take
a trip with Gwen to Zingerman's to get some kind
of special cheese or something like that. Gwen's
son basically just got a contact stuck in his
eye. He needs help to get it out. She's in the
office. She finds a safe, gets it open easily,
and discovers multiple credit cards along with
a scrapbook of photos. One of the photos in there
is about a woman that is running for bologna
queen of Michigan. It's nothing really that stands
out, but that's just an important detail for
later. All this time, she's also getting called
on her Nokia by Dave, who sees that they're there.
And basically, she misses the first call. Then
she answers the second one. She rushes all the
stuff back. And then she tries to make it out
the window in Fred's office. It's one of those
situations where Fred hears something in the
office. He goes to open the door, drops the keys,
opens the keys. And then once he gets through
the door. Nothing's changed in the office. But
he's kind of like looking around and he finds
an earring. The earring. Fred also talks to Gwen
after they help her son and is kind of like,
I'm sorry, I hope I didn't make you cancel the
trip early to Zingerman's and stuff. She goes,
I'm not going to Zingerman's. Not at $2 .50 a
gallon. And so now Fred knows. She lied about
hanging out with Gwen, and the earring is there,
so he kind of knows she was in his office. Dave
and Nancy, meanwhile, go back to Dave's place,
and you better believe it, they have sex. As
they are having sex, Squiggs and Sean show up
at his door and call him a bunch of racist things.
He runs out there with a baseball bat and handles
his own, pushes Squiggs over, and smashes the
window, and comes back in. And then he starts
like panicking and he's going, Nancy, I can't
just be a side piece. You either need to commit
to me or you need to end things with your husband
or I just I can't do this like this. Of course.
Nancy doesn't commit and doesn't end things with
Fred because she he says exactly right. She wants
that like perfect life, but then also have that
cake on the side like she wants to be the front
row. at church she wants to be the person at
the pancake breakfast that's serving everybody
but she also wants a little bit of excitement
on the side he's exactly right like he he called
it nailed it off the beginning so she goes home
after not committing to anything and they just
are going to be friends again and she has the
dream again but she wakes up on the couch and
fred is there waiting and he basically said like
Oh, how was Zingerman's? How was Gwen? And she
goes, oh, I brought some, like, pastries back,
but Gwen ate it on the way home. And she got
caught, basically. He knows something's up. He
doesn't let anything happen at this point. He
just kind of is, like, brushing it off, whatever.
As he goes to mow the lawn, she calls one of
the credit card companies and finds out that
he had a $300 transaction. at a jeweler he's
like oh bought it for his mistress or something
that kind of thing and as she's doing this she
also finds in the jar of buttons like the extra
buttons that her earring was in there and she
kind of hides it because she doesn't want to
admit she was wrong well the purchase at the
jewelers was a jewelry box that is currently
waiting for her on the bed And basically it had
a good lock so that she could lock her jewelry
up. And Fred shows up behind her as she's sitting
there and admits that he found the one earring
at the office and that he was there with Gwen
and her son and knows that she lied. But because
they do the reset button, he is willing to forgive
her with no questions asked and they can start
fresh again. So now Nancy's kind of more committed
to Fred. They're back as a couple. And, like,
they're hanging out at the church pancake breakfast.
And she sees somebody smile at her, and all she
can think of is Dave. And they're kind of going
through, like, they do their things and everything
like that. And that ends with a scene where Fred
and Nancy are having sex. But Nancy's just kind
of, like, starfishing there. And then she rolls
over after he's done and masturbates thinking
about Dave. So they talk on the phone. and Nancy
says she's going to leave Fred. She feels trapped
in this relationship. It doesn't feel like she
loves him anymore, and she wants to be with Dave.
Dave's unsure that it will work together. She
can't just leave her perfect life and end up
with Dave. She can't do that. That's not how
it's going to work. Plus, Fred is like the deacon
at the church. He's not the deacon at the church,
but he's a big part of the church. Fred is a
very good guy. He's big into a lot of the things.
He is going to probably win custody of Harry
if she leaves him. And she doesn't want to lose
Harry. So Dave agrees that he's going to follow
Fred on his next trip and photograph him having
an affair. And they're going to blackmail him
so he signs over the rights to Harry and they
can be together. And Nancy is kind of like, I
can't make you do that alone. And then she joins
him. So she gets Harry to stay over at a friend's
house and they start following him on this trip
to Greenville. Fred keeps stopping at these stores
and he's buying things like a couple things here,
a couple things there, a couple things here.
They need to figure out what's in these bags.
So she texts him. And it's kind of like, oh,
what's your room in case I want to call you tonight?
You know, because I don't want to use minutes.
Wow. Yeah. So he says, oh, it's room 307 at this
hotel. You can call me whenever that kind of
thing. So he goes and leaves to go to the hotel
bar, which Dave is following him. And Nancy does
the wifely thing and says basically like, oh,
my husband, he didn't get me or he left the key.
Can I get a. key to this room and she goes into
his room one of the things that's funny is fred
is at the bar just like laying all of his problems
on the bartender and nancy is going through his
room and nancy finds handcuffs underwear and
puppy treats dave texts her or calls her again
and says that he's on his way and that she needs
to get out of there So she throws all the stuff.
She hides it. She goes, she sneaks down the,
so she's headed towards like the stairs in the
elevator and all of a sudden the elevator dings.
And she's like, Oh, this might be Fred. She backtracks
and goes past his room and goes and hides on
the side wall so that Fred can walk past. And
Fred like hits the hotel key. She thinks she's
safe. And then her phone goes off and it's the
same ringtone that Fred has as well. So he recognizes
the ringtone. So he starts walking down the hall,
but luckily she was able to get down the stairs
that were right next to her before he finds her.
So they're feeling the rush. You know, Nancy
and Dave are happy. They have sex in the car
again. Nancy can't really just leave Harry again,
but they don't have undeniable proof that he's
having an affair. So Dave agrees to get undeniable
proof. Drops Nancy off at the train. She takes
a train back home to get their son that she just
abandoned, essentially. But she has a little
more information now. And she starts doing research
and says she'll get Harry later that night. And
she got all of this because she just said it
was a medical emergency, which is a great cover,
I guess. One of the people she found out information
about is Lacey Hartnett. The baloney queen. She
calls the number she has for Lacey Hartnett from
the Yellow Pages. And it turns out that Lacey
had disappeared three years ago and they just
found the body recently. And she also starts
seeing that the Polaroids are included in the
toy town they're building. So it's kind of like
an homage of all these photographs. And so while
she's researching, Dave's following Fred to a
creepy cabin in the woods. And Nancy goes to
the library with all these names she's now found.
And she's found that all of these women have
been murdered. And she is now heartbroken. And
sometimes heartbreak does not feel good in a
place like this. So she is just like absolutely
heartbroken because she knows now that Fred might
be a murderer. And so she tries to call Dave,
but Dave is out of his car and doesn't have his
phone. And he sees that Fred is meeting a woman
with dogs at this cabin. She has a bunch of dogs.
Dave then tries to sneak into the house because
he wants to get proof of Fred cheating on Nancy.
So he pushes open one of the doors to the bedroom.
And Fred is standing over the dead body of this
woman. And now Dave realizes, uh -oh. Of course,
the door creaks and Fred hears it. So they get
into an altercation and this altercation ends
with Fred landing on his own knife as they like
get thrown out of a window and he's still alive.
And he now realizes that Dave, this is Dave and
he does know Nancy. So Dave starts running to
the lake where there's a boat tied up and he
starts on tying the boat and he thinks he can
get there before. Well, Fred. flips him onto
his back and has enough energy, even though he's
been stabbed to flip him on his back and then
stands there like an idiot. Dave grabs the knife,
which releases like a ton of blood that was being
held in and they throws him into the lake. Yeah,
it's yeah. So Dave killed Fred. And Nancy is
just having like a panic attack because she now
knows that Fred is a murderer. And so Dave shows
up and promises that she is safe because he talked
to him and made sure he never shows up again.
Cause he, he doesn't want to admit like he killed
somebody, you know, he doesn't want to say that.
So she says, or he says that he got Fred to leave
forever and never come back. And basically he
wants to run now. He wants to get out of there,
but. She knows that if they leave before tulip
time, they're going to know something's up. So
they're going to hide until tulip time is over
and then they'll run away. So nothing comes out
about Fred being a killer and ruining Harry's
life. And so she's like going through the motions.
She seems like she's just kind of like catatonic
at this point. And Dave is definitely having
a breakdown. Like he is freaking out. He's seeing
things that are not there. He's seeing the dogs
that were at this cabin. The dogs were licking
the blood. At one point, it's rough. It's a rough
scene, you know. So he's having nightmares. He
sees Fred's face in the water. And then after
this nightmare, he goes and digs in his yard
and finds a gun he buried. I don't know why he
has a gun buried. They never mentioned where
this came from. So it's now tulip time. Harry
is dancing in the Dutch boy costume that she
saw in her dreams. Dancing. She's sitting next
to Gwen and Jim and she goes, oh, yeah, we saw
Fred. Fred's somewhere in the crowd. And as we
see the crowd, we do see Fred, but we can't tell
if it's like real or not. It's kind of like dizzying,
that kind of thing. And Dave also sees him, but
he might have PTSD for all we know. Or it's real.
And so Nancy comes up. She needs to get to Harry
before Fred does if he's really there. And it's
a race to get to Harry. Dave pulls out the gun
thinking he saw Fred and Nancy like realizes
that Dave has this gun and is just kind of freaked
out. So Nancy grabs Harry and they leave the
parade. She takes Harry to a motel to think because
she just needs to think. But someone is obviously
following them. There's another car following.
While this is all going on, Harry finds the bag
from Nancy and sees the Polaroid of the baloney
queen and realizes that this is in their toy
town. And then someone knocks on the door. Nancy
convinces Harry to not leave the room. She's
going to go deal with it. He needs to stay there,
no matter what happens. Well, it's Dave. And
through the door, Dave tells her everything.
Goes, Fred killed her. He attacked me. And I
did self -defense in that I thought Fred was
dead. And so I didn't tell you because I didn't
want you to think I was a killer. All the while,
Harry is looking at this Polaroid and then he
hears Dave say, I saw him die. I saw him drown.
And he runs away. Now that he's let into the
motel room, Dave wants to call the cops. And
they're fighting over this phone. And Nancy lets
go of the phone. He trips backwards and a TV
falls on his head. And Dave starts bleeding and
is talking about all the dogs on the carpet that
he sees. He's not doing well. And Harry had left
the hotel while this was happening. So Nancy
goes to find Harry. and sees him by the lake
but then fred stands up into the frame and kind
of waves fred sends harry away but she knows
like if she doesn't take her spot near him he's
going to kill one or both of them so she goes
to the water near where fred is and once again
fred is pissed he he now knows that nancy knows
but he basically says now you're in on it Let's
hit the reset button and we don't have to do
anything else. So Nancy kind of follows along,
goes to the car with Fred. Harry's already in
there. They're both kind of freaked out. She
does a ploy that Harry's not wearing a seatbelt
and gets Fred to stop the car and tells Harry
to run. And he runs away and she pulls out Dave's
gun. Somehow she has Dave's gun now. Fred tries
to like talk her down and she lets her guard
down for a second, but the gun goes off and it
just like skims his face. And he just has a spot
missing from his face for the rest of this. She
drops the gun. Cause she's like getting attacked
now by Fred and she's trying to reach for the
gun. She's trying to find it. She can't find
it. Can't find it. Can't find it. She finds something
else. And this is. perfect holland she finds
the wooden clog that harry was dancing in and
just starts beating him with it kills him with
the wooden clog so harry is safe nancy stops
fred and dave somehow survives but he's not in
the hotel room we don't know where he went we
have no clue that's where the movie ends because
it's the same speech as the beginning and that
is the end of the movie this movie was trash
like absolute trash it thought it was so much
smarter and it thought it was so good and everything
like that all these twists and everything like
that where we're a twisty movie and everything
you know from the beginning there's something
with fred like you know something as well as
they don't hide anything about dave and nancy
are going to get together like that's going to
be a thing so it's really really awkward like
this entire movie you can kind of see where it's
going completely and Then they just throw in
these dream sequences out of nowhere that don't
go anywhere. I don't know. It's such a strange
movie because I think I see where they were trying
to go, and it's just not good enough. It's just
not. It doesn't reach that level. Honestly, this
movie was bad, like really bad. I don't understand
how you try to figure out if your husband's having
an affair by also having an affair. That's one
thing that sticks with me that I'm just like,
huh, what are we doing? What are we doing? And
then on top of that, why is he just like putting
all these murders in this toy town he's building
with the son? Like they're all hidden in there
and you can see all the victims and everything.
She was able to deduce this and figure it out.
And on top of that, like, I don't know, just
go to the police at some point. that that's another
thing like yes okay you killed fred you thought
call the police like call the police he killed
somebody he killed somebody you saw them kill
somebody and then you were doing self -defense
because they attacked you and i guess he has
this whole thing with the police and stuff like
that which they never go into by the way um so
we don't know what dave's past is or anything
like that so i guess that's what they're trying
to do but even that it's just like Go to the
police. I don't care what your past is. You saw
a person kill somebody, and then you tried to
fight them because they attacked you. Yeah, it'll
work itself out, I think. I think. I don't know.
I've never dealt with this, I guess, so I don't
know what's going to happen, but I think you'd
be okay in that situation. But who knows? Also,
this thing with squigs never needed to happen.
They completely get dropped off. at the like
mid part of this movie there's nothing else with
them they just are racist at one point he fights
them off and the only thing we learn from it
is that he had his run -in with the law that's
all we learn that's it i don't know there was
there's a bunch of like there's a bunch of strands
of story that they just didn't know what to go
with and then they ended up here and again It's
predictable in the fact that you know something's
up with Fred. You know he's done something. And
you know that Dave and Nancy are going to end
up together. Like, you know it from the beginning.
And yes, it may not have gone the way that you
thought it would, but it's still pretty obvious
what they were doing. Yeah, so Holland was just
not a good movie. It's not a movie where I felt
entertained or somehow reborn. like i said it's
not a good movie i think it thought it was being
like gone girl or it thought it was being like
so there's a movie that was out recently that
stars dylan mcdermott it's on hulu and it's basically
the same kind of premise kind of um this son
starts thinking his dad might be a serial killer
and it does a very good job of maybe he is maybe
he isn't maybe he is maybe he isn't that kind
of stuff that's a better movie It's not a good
movie. It's a fine movie. It's a fine movie.
But it's just so much better than this because
everything seemed like you already knew there
was something. So, I don't know. That's my thoughts
on Holland. Please save yourself some time. Don't
do it. Just don't. It's 0 .25 clogs out of 5.
It's that bad. It just was a waste of time. And
for somebody like Nicole Kidman, who had a pretty
decent year with Baby Girl and everything like
that, Um, this one, this one felt like a miss.
So, and I kind of see where they're going with
some of this stuff. Like why, uh, why she thought
this might be a decent one, but it's, it's not,
not this one. Don't watch Holland. Don't do it.
Don't, don't even be tempted by it. I was kind
of excited about it when I saw the trailer and
thought, oh, this might be good. And then when
I saw the reviews coming in, you know, it's kind
of like, okay, what are we getting into here?
What's going on? And then because I had done
the Stepford Wives, I knew I had to do it. I
knew I had to watch this one and add this on.
And I'm glad I did because the Stepford Wives
wasn't that bad. And you know, I like to suffer
for my art. So yeah, I watched Holland. So you
don't have to. So yeah, that was a, that was
an episode about Nicole Kidman, Stepford Wives
and Holland. I hope you guys enjoyed the Game
for a Movie podcast. Check out our friends. Watch
it if you can. And thank you guys for tuning
in to the Game for a Movie podcast. We hope that
your heroes somehow felt bigger. And, yeah, if
you got the joke that I was playing this entire
episode, please tweet at us at Game for a Movie
that you caught it, you saw what was going on.
But, yeah, thank you guys very much for tuning
in to the Game for a Movie podcast. I'll see
you next time. Bye.