Hello and welcome to the first episode ever of
Game for a Movie. This is a podcast started by
four guys where we all compete in a game. Loser
has to watch a terrible movie and we talk about
these movies. Let's introduce our panel. Everybody's
laughing and pointing at the loser already. Our
panel. I am your host, Mike Buhtanic. I am joined
by, to my left, Andre Bellinger. Next to him.
T -Dawg. Just T -Dawg. Just T -Dawg. Just T -Dawg.
Well, T and then Dawg. Is it T -Dawg, or is it
like a two -based determinant? I also want to
know, is it Dawg, D -O -G, D -O -G -G, D -A -W
-G? I think that's up to the viewer's imagination.
Okay. Interpretation, I like it. I like it. And
next to T -Dawg is? Just Mitchell. I'm simple.
Just Mitchell. Okay, if I would have known everybody
was using a pen name, I wouldn't have used my
full name already. Whatever. Oh, yeah. Well,
I just said my first name. I mean, besides you.
You guys both, yeah. If you want, we can restart.
No, we're good, dude. We're going to leave this
in. Yeah, we're fine. All right, so we each saw
a movie in the past two weeks, and we are here
to talk about it. We're going to review it, give
it our good, our bad, and like a rating, probably
like one to five. Is that good with you guys?
One to five stars? Oh, okay. Well, I was going
to use, since I used Aquaman, I'm going to use
Tridents. Okay, gotcha. I feel you. So I'm going
to probably change it every week, but it's still
going to be one to five. I didn't realize we'd
have to apply a metric to this. So this is a
science -based show is what you're telling me.
Yeah, we have to give an accurate estimate to
our audience. Okay. Got it. How else will they
know? So we're going to start with T -Dog. T
-Dog, what did you see this week? I saw a bird
box possibly two or three weeks ago. Okay. Did
you do the bird box challenge? I did not go to
the extent of the bird box challenge, but if
I would have, I would have incorporated the Tide.
A Tide Pod Challenge to end it early, basically?
Is that what you're saying? I mean, I just feel
like you should do challenges together. Would
you have done the Bird Box Challenge while watching
the movie? I think that would have helped in
that experience. Yeah, that would have probably
made the movie more enjoyable. So, the movie...
Is it that bad? It depends what you're looking
for. So, the movie is a decent suspense. It reminded
me a lot of The Walking Dead, which has its ups
and downs. We start off with a character, she's
going through life. Actually, I don't know if
they start off in a flashback. It sounds like
every movie. Sometimes things happen. And then
all of a sudden something bad happens. So, in
this case, we have two different timelines going
on. One where, you know, the bad event happens,
and the other, the bad event has already happened
for a while now. I'm sorry, when you say timeline,
do you mean like they're flash -forwarding or
something? Or is it alternate universes? Is it
like Lady at the Lake House? It's more so you
have your current timeline, and then they flash
back, but... I don't remember which one starts
off the movie exactly. So we have a nice little
outbreak at a hospital. Everything goes crazy.
There are probably a ton of movies that you can
analogously relate to the same outbreak. Something
happens. Something goes wrong. 13 going on 30.
I'll be honest, when you said hospital and something
goes wrong, my immediate thought was that opening
for Walking Dead. At least for Bird Box, there
were outbreaks mentioned on TV before they go
to the hospital. Same thing with other movies.
Okay, was this movie good? Yeah, that's what
I want to know. I really like the fact that it
lived up to its name because we did see birds
in boxes. Did we actually? Really? Is this breaking
news? So are we giving spoilers away? We could
throw spoilers. I'm fine with a spoiler warning
on this movie. Okay, we'll give a spoiler warning.
All right, lay it on us. Give us all the dirty
spoilers even though I know nothing about this
movie. Please. So basically, you know, she loses
everyone except two children on her way to the
savior, like the sanctuary -type land. Okay,
yeah. To run away from this outfit? Yeah, I mean,
so basically, her and some other dude that she
hooked up with during this... Oh, so she's...
Yeah. But, you know, she's already pregnant when
the movie starts. Yeah, so this other dude comes
along while she's pregnant. She has a kid. She
also adopts this. She doesn't ever adopt because
she doesn't even have them say mom ever. So she's
kind of distancing. Taking them under their ward.
Yeah, exactly. She's a guardian. Yeah. Why did
you say take them under their ward when take
them under their wing was right there? No. You're
right. I assumed he purposely invaded that ward.
To be fair, he and Andre watched Game of Thrones
recently, so he was thinking ward. Yes. Exactly.
I'm in a Game of Thrones mood right now. So the
only people, so basically there is some sort
of creature. You never see the creature in the
movie. It's not a singular creature. It's like
all over the place. This is the thing where you
look at it and you die? Yeah, you look at it
and you want to kill yourself. Oh, so it's like
the happening? It's not necessarily that. It
could be that. Oh, God. So that's the thing.
Is it like the happening where the whole entire
byline of that was like, oh, these people are
randomly killing themselves. What's the deal
with that? So people would just randomly commit
suicide once they see this. My theory would be
that it's not... Didn't necessarily drive you
insane, but maybe convinced you that there was
something better to get to. Because there were
people who were immune to this, and so throughout
the movie, there would be those people who would
try to open up and show the sane people to the
creatures. Gotcha. Okay. All right. So what's
your verdict on this? Yeah, I was going to say,
what do you give it? OK, so first I give it five
out of five birds because. Wow, really? We saw
birds in boxes. Oh, that's what I came. So your
requirements were met. Yeah, right, right. OK,
I was doing more of a binary thing. Check that
box. Oh, wow. Don't count your birds before they
hatch. You guys are really flying off the seat
of your pants here. Overall, I'd say probably
a 3 out of 5. It had some suspense elements that
I enjoyed that reminded me parts of Walking Dead
that I enjoyed, but overall the ending just kind
of fell flat. We just ended up at a sanctuary
type place and it was over. Gotcha. Would you
watch a sequel? Netflix is making it. Yeah. Trying
to think what type of sequel. Bird Box 2. Or
a Bird Box prequel? I think they're going to
have to go away from the box. Or birds, I don't
know. Fox box. Like a bird storage unit. Yeah.
I felt kind of bad for them. I don't know how
long birds are supposed to stay in boxes, but
she had the birds in the boxes for a while. Eventually
they just go to the nest, right? I mean, eventually
they made it to the sanctuary. So I don't understand.
I still don't understand. What's the... Connection
with birds. Why does she have birds in boxes?
Yeah, so... Or storage units. Or any storage
units. It's like a canary in the coal mine. Yeah,
it was kind of a canary in the coal mine where
they would alert when these mysterious creatures
were around. When this abstract force was coming.
Yeah, and then I guess there was also this mysterious
force was, I guess, presented in a bird aspect,
or at least there was a flock. birds coming through
so maybe they weren't necessarily the creatures
but they were just always running from the creatures.
Got it. Okay. Me and Mike were talking about
this earlier, but the way Netflix promoted it,
and granted, Netflix spends more money on promotion
than they do on actually producing these things,
which is part of their strategy, and it's obviously
working. But so they created themselves. They
created the Bird Box Meet, like the Bird Box
account. Oh, they manufactured it. They manufactured
it. They created Twitter accounts that help perpetuate
all this stuff. Jesus Christ. Vox wrote a write
-up on this. It's pretty incredible. Kind of
gross, but at the same time... I feel like so
many times when companies try to make a fad out
of it, they end up falling flat on their face.
The fact that Netflix pulled it off is pretty...
Yeah, this is like the one that... Well, I mean,
pulled it off aside from the fact that people
were getting hurt, and then they had to... People
took it to the next level. They didn't think
about it. They just did it. They were just doing
the meme of a blindfold and all that. Right,
right. People took it to the next level. Yeah.
The fact that somebody can say the words Bird
Box to me, I immediately think of somebody in
a blindfold. Like, that's mission complete. That's
a success right there. Exactly. So my question
is for you. Would you get Netflix to see this
movie? Would you pay, like, what? How much is
Netflix in a month now? It's $11 now. $11 now.
$11 now? Yeah. Okay. Uh -huh. Jeez. $11 for watching
this in a month. $11 is a lot harder paycheck
for a movie that I haven't even seen. Yeah. Right?
I would not. Okay. I'm wondering if we get to
that point where there's that movie. that I need
Netflix for both. You're looking for a Netflix
seller of sorts? Yeah, I think it's really TV
series that they've done that with. Yeah, and
I agree with that, but I'm talking about the
movie, because I feel like their movies have
not been up to snuff. They're still figuring
it out, I feel like, as far as the feature -length
film stuff. They have the TV series down, not
down pat, but they have some solid contenders.
And to be fair, Roma is the most nominated movie
at the Oscars this year. That's true. So that's
a big win for them. Which is huge. They've also
outspent Roma's production money with their Oscar,
not even just Just the Oscar campaign they spent
more money on than they did already. So, look,
they are paying for what they're getting. At
the same time, look, I thought Roma was overrated,
but it's a good movie. It's a good movie. Netflix,
making moves. Yeah, they're making moves. Anything
else to say on Bird Box? It was a movie about
birds in boxes. Great sum up. Excellent. P -Dog.
Eloquent. All right, we'll go to you, Mitchell.
What movie did you see? What did you think? So
I saw If Beale Street Could Talk, directed by
Barry Jenkins, who famously won the Oscar for
Moonlight years ago, beating out La La Land.
I think that's what most people remember that
movie for. Yeah, it's Moonlight. Moonlight's
great. But I feel like it's Moonlight Short because
it was really good on its own, right? Moonlight
was fantastic. Personally, I preferred La La
Land. But Moonlight winning, I thought... Deservedly
so. So I thought it was a fantastic film. That
was the first Barry Jenkins movie that I saw,
and I was happy that this was his follow -up
movie. So Beale Street Could Talk is based on
James Baldwin's novel. It's about a young African
-American couple living in Harlem, post -Civil
Rights Act movement. So we're talking like, I
think it's like late 60s. They never say it out
loud, but I think it's like late 60s, early 70s.
And it's about a young couple trying to get their
life together, you know, to get married, to have
children. They're laying it all out. And it's
a really poignant and beautiful setup for a love
story. And the movie is presented in a nonlinear
way. So while you're experiencing this love story
between two very charismatic actors, you're also
seeing the demise of that relationship, not by
their own doing, but by this guy getting framed
for a crime he did not do. So he goes to prison.
And the whole movie, plot -wise, is about her,
his, and her own family trying to get this young
man out of jail. I think he's like 20. He's in
his early 20s in this movie. So it's really heartbreaking.
So it's a Barry Jenkins movie. So, you know,
we're talking, it's a very human movie in terms
of talking about how people relate to each other.
But there's also a little bit of social justice
in there, kind of like what you see in Moonlight.
And I thought overall, you know, these... Movies
about being better than racist thoughts can be
seen throughout Hollywood. Most recently, Green
Book comes to mind. A white guy learning how
not to be racist. I'm sorry, Green Book is the
Viggo Mortensen. Viggo Mortensen or Herschel.
Just making sure I have the right movie in mind.
Exactly. I kind of compare those movies, not
because I think they're of the same quality.
I definitely don't think Green Book is nearly
as good as If Beale Street Could Talk. But it
approaches a similar topic in a different fashion.
We're talking about a movie that, like for Green
Book, it's your typical cookie -cutter Hollywood
movie about racism and how it's bad. Where If
Beale Street Could Talk, it not only shows the
ramifications of racism, but it also shows what
it's combating. So specifically, I mean the love
story. And that's what makes it more resonant.
So for you as someone watching the movie, your
heart's broken because of what this injustice
is doing not only to this one person, but to
this entire family. So it's more personal, basically.
It is incredibly personal. And if you watch either
Moonlight or If Beale Street Could Talk, the
way that Barry Jenkins shoots people's faces,
it really drives a human element towards the
story. So, anyway, loved the movie. It got nominated
for three Oscars. I haven't mentioned her yet,
but Regina King is nominated for Best Supporting
Actress. She is by far the favorite to win. It's
also nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay. Barry
Jenkins adapted the novel from James Baldwin.
And the music, which I haven't gotten to yet,
was easily my favorite part. After watching the
movie, I got that soundtrack on Apple Music.
I listened to it on the way home. It's incredibly
poignant. Is it original? It's original music.
It's just a score, right? So there's no lyrics
or anything. It's just the music. And it transports
you back in this time. And the best part, by
the way, and this is my final thought, how beautifully
this movie was shot. And it kind of drives home
the greater point of, look what was lost because
of this injustice. And because the romance was
shot beautifully. The scenery in Harlem was very
romantic and nostalgic. It really drives home
the point to the audience of what could have
been, and now essentially the love loss and frankly
the life loss because of one crooked cop having
it out for a black woman. I love that movie.
It's definitely a rich glass of wine. It's not
a casual kick up your feet after a long day of
work and watch some mindless... You've got to
be in the mood for it. My question for you is,
I believe, if I remember correctly, Greenbox
got nominated for Best Film. Greenbook. Greenbox.
Sorry, I'm just connecting the dots right here.
It would have been better if it was Greenbox.
But Greenbook got nominated for Best Film. Yes,
yes it was. And Beale Street did not. It did
not, no. So how do you feel about that? Well,
I mean, look. I don't look to the Oscars to validate
my taste in movies. And by all accounts, it looks
like Green Book has a very strong chance of winning
Best Picture. It won Best Picture at the Director's
Guild and all that. So the momentum is building
for this film. But here's how I look at it. It's
Green Book, a very safe movie about race. There's
nothing really that you could say wrong about
it outside of the real life story that it's based
on and it working up some details. But the greater
message of, don't be racist. No one's going to
argue with that. We've seen that movie before.
We've seen the movie before, and I will say this,
the performances in Green Book were incredible.
Marsha Ali, Viggo Mortensen were amazing together.
It's a fun... maybe not fun is the right word,
but it's a good movie to hang out in. You just
love seeing these characters interact. It's digestible.
Yeah, it's very digestible. It feels like a,
like, it's not a buddy cop movie, obviously,
but like a buddy movie. Yeah, you see a friendship
grow, which is very, obviously, satisfying for
an audience. And I will say this, their secret
weapon is Linda Cardellini, who's my all -time
crush. So she plays Viggo's wife in the movie,
and she is bang. However, I think If Beale Street
Could Talk is the superior movie. Unfortunately,
the Oscars... Or at least the nominations did
not agree with that. But definitely worth a watch.
I love the fact that we have done not even half
of one of these yet. And we've already learned
Linda Cardellini, really. Oh, God. Freaks and
Geeks, man. I'll go back to Freaks and Geeks.
It's not like I'm judging you or anything like
that. It's a random crush. It kind of is. It
kind of is. But is she the main character on
Freaks and Geeks? Yes. She's the main girl in
it. So I had a crush on her when I saw that.
She was... Not Daphne. Velma in the Scooby -Doo
live -action movies. She is bae. Oh, and to give
my rating, I'll give it 4 .5 out of 5 street
lamps, I guess. Street lamps? It feels street.
I don't know. Was I going to say white guilt?
I don't know. I'm glad this is picking up that
everybody's doing a 3 out of 5, 4 out of 5. this
particular thing. Bird boxes. I guess I'll go
next with my tridents and everything like that.
Oh yeah. So I saw Aquaman and very much in those
action movies and stuff like that. And this is
one that I was kind of like, okay, maybe the
DCEU can finally break their streak. Is that,
is that where, is it, it's the DCEU, not the
DCU? No, it's DCEU. DCEU, like Entertainment
Universe. Oh, Entertainment. I thought it was
even, okay, all right. Cause the, No, I think
it is extended. Is it extended? I'll look it
up, but keep going. Okay, it might be extended.
I'll look it up. It's more than just the movies.
That's why they started their DC streaming service,
that kind of stuff. Gotcha. So that new Titan
show, not to derail, but that new Titan show
is in the same universe then? I don't know. Whatever,
it doesn't matter. I don't know if they know
anymore. They had two Flashes in the CW. Right,
the CW stuff's all separate. Supposedly, but
then they... talked about they're going to bring
Green Arrow to it or something like that. They
had mentioned something about it a long ago.
It's like a long -handed gem. It's not come to
fruition yet. There's nothing on the horizon.
Comic book properties are weird. It's extended
universe. DC extended universe. The DC extended
universe. I separate that from the Nolan Batman
films just because they feel completely different
to me. And technically they're not part of it.
So it starts with Man of Steel, right? Exactly,
yeah. So there's Man of Steel, Batman v Superman,
Wonder Woman, and all that. What I will say about
Aquaman to start off is that it is my second
favorite of the DCEU movies. Okay. So is that
out of five or four movies? Seven movies? There's
a bunch. There's Man of Steel, Batman vs. Superman,
Wonder Woman, Justice League, Suicide Squad.
Did we say Aquaman already? I did not say Aquaman.
I tried to go in order. I don't know if I got
them all. Justice League was the last movie before
Aquaman. Yeah, because they took that break.
I was just trying to be clear on, you know. That
was back when it was the Snyderverse, and then
it became the DCEU. I love how long we've talked
about not even the movie, just the DCEU. Yeah,
I know, the changes around it. So it is six.
We named the six. Yes, there you go. Done. Okay,
so I say it's my second favorite of the DCEU,
but it's not hard. But that being said, I have
the scale of Wonder Woman all the way at the
top, pretty far down Aquaman, and then even further
down probably Justice League. Justice League
is your third favorite, you think? Probably.
Wow, okay. The space between Wonder Woman and
Aquaman versus Aquaman and Justice League. So
Aquaman is closer to Wonder Woman than it is
to Justice League. Okay, gotcha. Is this somebody
who did not see Man of Steel because I hate Superman?
Oh, okay. You hate Superman. I hate Superman.
Dang. Because Superman movies are all the same.
No, no, no. Superman movies are all the same.
Yeah, it sounds like you just hate Freedom Zone.
I'm sorry. Go ahead. The only one that is different
is the animated death of Superman. Okay. Everything
else revolves around the same format where it's
like, hey, here's Superman. He's going to save
the day. He stops some bad guys that are a little
minor. He comes across this challenge. He discovers
a new power to save the day. Sure. Sure. His
new power, Man of Steel, was snapping General
Zod's neck. That's that new power. That's a sweet
power. So I did not see Man of Steel, but I knew
that. You're correct. But the power is, he learned
how to kill someone. I guess. Putting humanity
before... Because he had to learn how to do that.
And you could argue that's the superhero formula.
Yeah, it's a hero's journey, I suppose. Yeah.
You can argue that, but for whatever reason,
Superman, he just feels invincible. Yes. And
so that is the reason why I hate Superman. Okay.
It's not because of the America propaganda. It's
not because of the Communist Party. It is because...
He just feels invincible. To be fair, he is a
part of the Communist Party. He does hate America.
Does Superman hate? Is this a separate thing?
Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly
it. We need to establish our characters before
we... Right. So, yeah, just so we all know why
we're communists. But Aquaman, all right, back
to Aquaman. How many sickles out of five is this?
I didn't realize the communist thing was still...
Sorry. Sorry, T -Dog. Gotta keep up. I thought
we moved on. Alright, anyways. Okay, let's talk
about Aquaman. Let's talk about Aquaman. So,
my thing about Aquaman that I had a hard time
with is... i felt like some scenes were so beautiful
and so well done so good cinematography and green
screen and whatever like there's this part where
he's like running from these like animal -human
hybrids things, and he's going underwater, and
everything slows down. And he has this flare,
so you see his spot, and you also see all these
things chasing after him. And it's so beautiful.
It's so well done. And then they go to this other
scene where he's being taught as a kid by Willem
Dafoe, and it's like the fakest swimming ever.
And also, Willem Dafoe as a whole, I love you.
I love you, Willem Dafoe, if you hear this. Just
know I love you. Stop doing movies. Oh, really?
Stop doing movies. Wait, wait, time out. He just
got nominated for an Eternity's Gate. So he's
still... I have not seen Eternity's Gate. So,
all right, I'll give you credit for that. But
this movie made me think, stop doing movies,
Willem Dafoe. Yeah, I mean, hey, between this
and freaking Death Note, like, oh, God. Wait,
we'll stop making movies. I mean, no, that's
harsh because Willem Dafoe is very talented.
I love Willem Dafoe. I do. Some of my favorite
movies involve Willem Dafoe, including this gem
of a terrible movie called Streets of Fire from
the 80s. Oh, my God. He's awesome. That's young
Willem Dafoe. Very young Willem Dafoe. What about
another Spider -Man sequel? Yeah, what about
Spider -Man 4? I do not want to see him. Sam
Raimi's Spider -Man 4, the long -awaited return.
See, I've been thinking this thing for a while
when he was in John Wick. He was? I still need
to see John Wick. I've not seen John Wick. I
know I would love it. I want to hang out after
this. No, he's John Wick's friend that kind of
turns on him a little bit. But yeah, I shouldn't
have said that out loud. Sorry. Spoiler alert.
I'm not going to watch John Wick anymore. I'm
just going to read the Wikipedia article and
catch up for John Wick 3. Wait, rewind and we'll
do a spoiler alert and then Andre will just stop.
Spoiler alert. Hey, Andre, close your ears. I'm
telling you to do something. Well, anyway, so
why do you want Willem Dafoe to stop? Making
movies after Aquaman. What did he do that was
so awful? He was such a minor role, and he deserves
better, but at the same time, he couldn't handle
the minor role. Wow. Okay. And it's nothing against
him. I just think it's the writing and everything
like that. At this point, I just think he's...
He's past it. Goodness. The funny thing is, this
is not what I planned on bringing up. The thing
I was planning on bringing up was Amber Heard's
hair. Everyone's mentioning that. It looks so
bad. There's got to be a red -headed actress
that is a decent actress that you could have
put in this spot. Yes. And nothing against Amber
Heard. She was fine. She was probably my favorite
part of the movie. She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous,
yes. But the hair was distracting. That hair
looks so fake, yeah. That's not on her. No, no,
no. That's on the makeup, yeah. It reminds me
of... Did you watch the Fantastic Four reboot?
That was awful. I did not. I did not watch the
Kamara. The Kamara, yeah. And there were reshoots
of that movie. And it was very obvious when she's
wearing a frickin' wig. And it reminded me of
that. Like, it's jarring. Like, Kate Mara, fantastic
actress, I want to see her more stuff, but she's
Invisible Woman in that movie, for those who
don't know, and at the end of the, like, near
the final act of that, they do some very obvious
reshoots, and she just has this plastic -looking
blonde wig on, and it looks so bad. It looks
like Barbie hair, dude. Yeah, that's how I feel
about Amber Heard in this movie. She's just distracting
as this, like, fake redhead. Okay. And, like,
it feels like they're trying to make Ariel from
Little Mermaid, and it's just not working. It
does, because she wears, like, green, too. It's
not even, like, it's like, oh, God. God, she's
trying to be Ariel because she has red hair.
No, it's like she's wearing green. Same with
costume design and everything. But that being
said, I do think it was very well done. You can
tell James Wan, the director, had the best intentions
and he did very well. Jason Momoa was fine. I
love Jason Momoa. Yeah, I know. He's so charming.
He's a charming guy. And like, I think he did
the best with what he got. Okay. Like that kind
of stuff. But there was just some parts that
were just so cheesy. Are you talking like the
script is bad or? The script. The script is cheesy.
Okay. And so it's just, and like, it doesn't
understand when he is supposed to be dumb and
when he is supposed to be smart. What I liked
about Justice League is he came across as this
confident guy. He knows when to run from a fight,
knows when to fight kind of guy. This movie tried
to make it a little more light and everything
like that. And because of that, there were some
parts where it was obvious when he was just like...
Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be dumb. Yeah, yeah,
I'm dumb. Oh, this is my gag line here. Exactly.
Like, he cheeses it up, he's hammy a little bit
with it, that kind of thing. But I did enjoy
it. I feel like I'm shitting on this movie, but
I would watch it again. I really would. Huh,
okay. I would watch the last 30 minutes again.
I love like the scene that you opened up your
review on it like the whole thing going down
I thought from that moment on I was hooked that
was a beautiful shot that was like that's when
I knew Okay, there's some love for this character.
Let's make it happen. Do you think that this
movie is worth seeing? Is it one of those things
like, oh, you've got to see it on the big screen?
Because you're talking about these shots. I think
so, yes. Really, you think so? I hope so. I do.
Do I really have to go see a matinee in this
frickin' Aquaman movie? All right, all right.
I'll go see it again with you. Would you actually?
Yeah, I actually would. I thought it was very
well done. I really did enjoy it. I will give
it four out of five tryouts. Wow. Solid rating.
Okay. So I would say it's not Wonder Woman level.
Although I do have my quarrels with Wonder Woman,
too. Sure. No movie's perfect. No movie's perfect.
Especially the TCEU. But I think Wonder Woman,
yeah. I don't like the love story that they threw
in there. With Wonder Woman, you're saying? With
Trevor? Yeah. Oh, come on, man. How can you not
fall in love with Chris Pine? Come on. I didn't
mind that. My problem was the... Now we're going
on a Wonder Woman tangent. The end where they're
just like, and I'm not Ares. Oh, shit. Now there's
Ares? Yeah, right. Like, he didn't need to reveal
himself. And the end of the fight was just a
CGI fuckfest. Exactly. It was not fun to watch.
It was rough. That is where I lost Wonder Woman.
So that's actually why I'm curious. Go for it.
I think that's part of the love story that I
did not like. Oh, okay. Like the sacrificing.
Yeah, exactly. And that's why I wanted to know,
like, how are the visual effects? Because Wonder
Woman, it took me out. Justice League, it definitely
took me out of the movie, how bad that CGI was.
So it sounds like in Aquaman, there's some parts
that are there and some parts that aren't. Yeah,
there's some parts. Like, that's the biggest
example I have is when he's swimming as a kid.
It just seems so fake. Okay. It's just – I can
live with that. And it may even be the kid actor
did it wrong. Sure. And, like, I don't want to
call him out because he's a kid. Right. Maybe
he doesn't know how to swim. I feel like that's
a part of the MC. You learn how to swim from
one to four. Maybe this is my problem all along.
I feel like that's a part we take a lot for granted
with the – with the Marvel Cinematic Universe
is that they have nailed their visual effects
from day one, I feel like. Maybe Thor Darkwell
not excluded, but... The Hulk, yeah. And the
Hulk as well, too. You're right. But still, at
least with the newer entries, now that they have
more budget throw around... That's what I was
going to say. The newer entries, yes. I feel
like in the older entries, you can point it out
and be like, okay, this is probably the same
level as DCU on effects -wise. But to be fair,
that was in... Iron Man was 2008. I agree. And
that's also why it gets a pass, too. Yes. So
that's my rating. Four out of five Tridents.
Love it. I would see it again. If you wanted
to see a matinee, I would struggle through it
with you. Okay. How does it compare to Green
Lantern? Oh, Jesus. By far better. It's so bad.
Yeah, because Ryan Reynolds' one was just awful.
T -Dog is a closet Green Lantern fan who's awaiting
the long -awaited Green Lantern sequel. You can
talk and you don't have to shake your head. I
didn't get past the... I think he was launching
off somewhere and I quit watching it. Well done.
The fact that you left the movie was the great
choice. It was pretty bad. That's about as much
time as that movie deserves. It's definitely
one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Speaking
of worst movies you've ever seen, let's get to
our... Piece de resistance. So, our friend Andre
here lost a battle in quarters. I did. In my
own home, too. In your own home. You didn't even
defend the whole board. How long did it take
for you to sink a quarter? Or did you actually
end up doing it? I didn't. I just gave up. Mike
sunk the quarter, and I was like, well, my spade
is sealed. I have nothing to prove. To be fair,
it was a tight battle. It was. I mean, the worst
part is he even sacrificed his table for that
challenge. Yeah, I know. A little dinks in the
table. Yeah, that's fine. It's an Ikea table.
It'll be okay. It was a nice table. It's Swedish.
You and I had a battle to death. It was close.
It was adrenaline filled. Anyways, I should probably
talk about this freaking movie that I see. As
a quick explanation, the plan was for me to go
see Holmes and Watson because that was the most
universally awful movie that's out right now.
But then when I went to go find a movie time,
randomly, they didn't have any showtimes for
it anymore. It's almost like they kicked it out
of theaters early. It's almost like they thought
it was bad and they just pulled it. Yeah, I couldn't
understand why they would do that. I can't imagine.
So basically, our decided backup plan was for
me to find. I just want to point out. What's
up? While we're talking about this. I believe
Holmes and Watson got nominated for six Razzie
Awards. God damn. Six Razzie Awards. I kind of
want to see that train wreck. I wish you would
have seen it. I'm honestly curious about it.
I want to. Okay. Maybe when it's on streaming,
I'll check it out. All right. Keep going. Sorry.
Anyway, so the backup plan was for me to check
out this random, whatever, like, whatever we
could find, whatever crime movie we could find
on Netflix, basically. And then like last night
I watched this movie and I just found it in my
feed and it was a thumbnail with one Nicolas
Cage in the center of it. And the movie was titled
The Humanity Bureau. And I was like, this looks
awful. Let me go check on Rotten Tomatoes. And
it's 25%. I think that's a little high, if I'm
going to be honest. I think that's a little high.
I showed you guys the trailer, but basically
the synopsis is that it's a dystopian sci -fi
movie which takes place. The global warming has
taken over humanity, and humanity is scrapping
for resources. It's basically like the beginning
of the interstellar, except not nearly as compelling.
Nicholas Cage works for this organization called
the Humanity Bureau. Basically his job is to
– he lives in this metropolis city, but he drives
out to the random bumfuck nowhere to find random
humans just living out their lives and deemed
as a burden on society. And then if they're deemed
as not productive enough, not pulling their own
weight and wasting resources, they get sent to
New Eden. oh yeah it's a relocation facility
where they're supposed to be like it's their
big like you know reclamation project and where
all these people will live together in harmony
but You don't hear back from people when they
go to New Eden. It's all very sinister. I love
how you put it on the trailer voice. I gotta
make this interesting. It's so fucking boring.
It sounds like when my high school girlfriend
went to college. She just went and then I never
heard back. Yes! Like most high school relationships,
they kind of just mysteriously end when the other
partner goes to New Eden. But you think they're
happier, probably. I don't know. Except it turns
out... What is it? The movie opens with them...
They try to make him look as badass as possible
because he drives a freaking El Camino. It's
so dumb. Do they make a joke of that or is that
a serious ride for him? No, it's a serious ride.
That's the thing. That's awesome. They're trying
to make Nicolas Cage look as badass as possible,
but he has this weird greaser look. I don't know.
You saw him in the trailer. He's just kind of
old. Hey, man, I used to watch Nicolas Cage and
stuff, but you're not convincing anybody. What
year did this movie come out? Last year. No,
no, I'm sorry. 2017. Yes. And that's the thing.
There are a lot of overt Trump references that
are all like, hey, I'm not saying the movie can't
be political, but... It was just so heavy -handed,
you know? Like... Do they mention him by name,
or...? Yeah, well, no, they don't mention him
by name. Like, with the opening scene, it's,
like, him, like... going to find one of the guys
that's been flagged for New Eden relocation.
And it's this random old person living in a motel.
And then he goes on this rant. He's like, oh,
you can't make me go to New Eden. I know the
truth. And he's like, I had dinner at the White
House. And it pans over to a random picture of
Donald Trump. And it's this inauguration photo,
too. And it's like, what? I think we should do
a disclaimer that Andre voted for Trump. Oh my
god, what? I'm part of the Communist Party couldn't
vote for Trump. Great. Was there a wall in this
movie? There was not a wall, but there was an
overt reference to walls, okay? They say that,
like, I think there's like an hour in, they're
like, this is bouncing off the walls or whatever,
but it's like, somebody just randomly says, sometimes
it's easier to build fear than walls. Does he
stare into the camera? No. Just knowingly looks
and winks. Okay, I'm interested in this movie.
Please tell me more. It sounds so self -unaware.
I don't know if it's self -aware or not. I don't
think it is. I don't think it is, yeah. Because
it's just so, oh my god. Anyways, so nobody's
seen... Nicholas Cage takes it, like, alright,
you gotta come, you gotta go to New Eden, you
have 12 hours to relocate, and the guy just fucking
whips out a shotgun and starts shooting, and
then Nicholas Cage dodges the shotgun bullets
miraculously, and then whips out a pistol and
headshots him. You know, as you do. As you do.
And then it just immediately cuts to his nice
-ass apartment in this Utopian city, where, like,
his fellow co -worker, who's obviously the bad
guy, has a black coat on, and has a bald head,
and he's like, hey, nice work you did. You know,
like, you're up for promotion. He's like, Really?
I just killed two people and all you can think
about is a promotion? He's like, yeah, but just
keep doing the work you're doing and you'll get
far, kid. Yeah, and I'm like, what? Sounds like
a good guy. He's offering you a promotion. Right,
yeah. So what did this guy look like again? He
kind of looked, he's just, I don't know who to
compare him to, but just bald, completely shaven
bald, like almost no eyebrows. No, no, no, you're
just thinking, you saw the trailer, the trailer
spoils his appearance. I'll get to that in a
second. Are we calling it a spoiler? No, no,
no, I just want to get to the part where he gets
it. Is it really a spoiler if nobody sees it?
Yeah, I know, no, no, no. I'm talking about,
I'm going to just give a quick thing. this whole
entire fucking way anyways long story short he
has to go and deport this um uh this family this
mom and her kid and uh basically like he has
to like like they try to bribe him to not make
them go away like they bring him lemonade and
all that shit which is super coveted or whatever
and he's like i'm sorry you gotta go blah blah
blah but then he has a randomly he's driving
back he has like a moment of consciousness where
he's like huh like Maybe I should delay their
deportation. Like, he tells them, he, like, delays
their thing for, like, 12 hours, and then immediately
his friend that lives up to the brochure, he's
like, we need to investigate Nicolas Cage. Like,
he's gone soft. And then, like, it introduces
this weird conspiracy where some random guy gives
him a USB file, and this is the guy in the trailer
that was, like, where Nicolas Cage, like, just
asks, like, they're talking in an elevator shaft,
like, sorry, we gotta keep this a secret. And
then Nicolas Cage is like, I wanna know the truth.
Great line reading. And that, by the way, is
how he says it in the trailer. It's the best
line. And it's so dumb because, like, they show,
like, the next, like, he gives them a USB. The
next scene, he's at his apartment watching, like,
it's like a USB file, video file that he looks
at. And it has to do with New Eden. They say
it has to do with this place they're sending
them to. And it's so obvious. that it's just
sending them to their deaths, like it's a death
camp, but it tries to play coy, where it's like,
oh, like, it just, the over -the -shoulder camera,
like, my God, what have we done? And it's, like,
trying to use that as a threat, being like, ooh,
what's the secret part of New Eden? Whoa, what's
really happening? And it's like, they're just
killing people. Like, that makes sense. They
just find useless people, and they kill them,
you know? Like, whatever. And that's the twist
at the end. Whatever. Anyway, so, finding that
out, he goes back to that family he was supposed
to deport, the mom and the son. The single mom
and the son. It's like, hey, we've got to get
out of here. You can't go to New Eden. You're
coming with me. And then he immediately, as soon
as he tries to get all their things, the bald
guy shows up and points a gun at them. And they're
like, all right, this is far enough, Nick Cage.
You've got to fucking go down. His name is Nick
Cage. No, I don't know what his fucking name
is. No, his name is Nick Cross. That's what it
is. No way. Cross, yeah. They call him Nick.
No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not
Nick. It's Noah Cross. Noah Cross, I believe.
Oh, God. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Noah Cross? Noah Cross.
Noah Cross. Even more so, just like... Same initials,
I guess? New Eden. Oh, my God. Noah Cross. Are
you serious? I just fucking... Yeah. I can't
believe that... Biblical, dude. Wow, dude. This
movie's so deep. The layers on it. I just...
Are you happy you watched it? No, I'm not happy
I watched it. It was awful. Like, it's so...
Oh, tell me it left room for a sequel. Tell me
it left room for a sequel. It did not. It did
not. Basically, there's a fight. The guy gets
shot. The bad guy, the bald guy, like, he pulls
up the kid, this precocious little 10 -year -old
kid who's awful. Oh, my God, he's awful. Is he
in this movie? Like, did you just bring him up?
Like, is he in the movie? Yeah, the kid. Yeah,
he's in the kid throughout the whole time. Okay,
guys. The main cast is him, is Nick Cage. Trying
to save this single mom and her kid. They're
trying to drive to Canada. That's their backup
plan. They drive out of America to go to Canada.
Drive up north. You know how a lot of people
thought in 2016 that was a viable answer? Yeah,
I know, right? Yes! Oh my god. It all makes sense
now. The kid shoots a BB gun in the bad guy's
eye. And so then that's how, like, that's like,
oh, man. Like, he gets, like, he's like, oh,
fuck my eye. So this has a tie -in to the Curse
of Story, too, or Uncurse of Story. Yes. Oh,
yeah, yeah. It's all the same universe. Was it
a Red Rider BB gun? No, it was some futuristic
crappy BB gun or whatever. Like, it's not a Red
Rider BB gun, so it's dumb. Anyways. Anyways,
it cuts to the scene where, like, the guy, like,
he gets, so they run away, the guy gets taken,
like, the bad guy gets, like, goes back to the
city, and there's a scene in the, like, he goes
to the hospital, and there's a There was nothing
stereotypical about that eyepatch. That eyepatch
was one of a kind. No! And he's, like, patting
at his eye like he didn't know that he lost his
eye or something. He's like, oh, fuck! And it's,
the bad guy's my favorite part of this movie
because he just has these awful soliloquies with,
like, the other people at the Humanity Bureau
being like, like, he'll, like, there's a random
scene, like, so most of the movie is just Nicolas
Cage in a car with the mom and the kid driving,
basically. Nothing really happens. They meet
survivors that are really overly friendly and,
like, willing to help Nick Cage when I feel like
in a situation where it's post -apocalypse and
their resources are limited, they'll be like,
No, fuck off. We're going to kill you and steal
all your shit. But they're like, you seem like
an alright dude. You seem like a family man.
I'm going to help you go up north even though
it's probably suicide. Like, it's so dumb. And
then... So, there's a random soliloquy the bad
guy has, where he's literally swimming in a pool,
like, in a penthouse, and he's talking to a co
-worker that's trying to, like, he's basically,
he's staying behind at the headquarters, trying
to track down Nicolas Cage like he's fucking
Jason Bourne or some shit. He's like, you need
to find me cross! And then, like, he's... While
he's swimming? Yeah, yeah. He's like a whole
entire scene where he's swimming in this pool.
He's like, it's a lost art. There's not enough
water to go around. This is one of the last swimming
pools in this city. And then like, you wouldn't
believe how much money I'm paying to these guys
to be able to swim here. I come here every month
just to swim. And I'm like, what is this? I'm
sorry if it sounds like the rest of us are quiet
right now. I think all of our draws are dropping
on how this movie is. Anyways, I don't want to
linger too long because given this movie, More
time than it deserves. I just like how we're
spending more time on this movie than anything.
I know! Almost everything else is just... It's
just... It's so heavy -handed in its politics.
And... Oh, my God. Like, where... So, it's about
an hour and a move... Like, there's about 20
minutes left of the movie. Nothing's really happened
except Nicolas Cage is closer to the Canadian
border. And they have another shootout. And then,
like... The bad guy, like, talks to one of his
supporters, like, do you think Nick Cage, like,
knows the truth? And then he's like, probably,
sir. Like, yeah, I would imagine. He's like,
oh, man, you can't keep that secret out. Like,
you kill 7 million people, somebody's bound to
know. And he just, like, looks at the camera
and he's like, we're on the wrong side of history.
And I'm like... Wait, time out. He looks at the
camera. Yeah, he says we're on the wrong side
of history. Is that the last line in the movie?
No, no. There's 20 minutes left. That would have
been perfect. Yeah, no. That would have been
perfect. The last 20 minutes... are they make
it to the Canadian border and it's like apparently
Nick Nicholas Cage has this USB and I didn't
know that he still had it on it on him I didn't
know that was part of the plot or whatever because
I didn't mention I figured he just left it as
apartment But yeah, he has this USB. The bad
guy, bald man, finds him. And he's like, all
right. He pretty much sticks up the mom, Nicolas
Cage, and the kid. Really shoots the mom in the
face. So all of that emotional resonance. Mom's
fucking dead. I haven't talked about her that
much because she's not important. She sucks.
She's so boring. And it's just bad. Andre hates
moms. Yeah, no, I hate moms. Andre hates moms.
No, actually, no. I need to talk. Apparently,
10 minutes before then, they pull up. plot twist
that the mom was assuming this identity of this
other person and the reason that nick cage like
was like investigating them is because nick cage
knew her false identity though like the person
she took on apparently they were neighbors or
some shit and they had a kid together and the
kid like that's with the mom is her son Is Nick
Cage's son. What? Yeah, so, yeah, they try to
do that shit. Like, that's a big plot twist.
Like, we're just like, like, who's, like, who's,
like, Rosa blah blah blah, and, like, I don't
know, like, I knew Rosa blah blah blah in the
back of my head, I don't know their name, whatever,
it fucking doesn't matter, and she's like, she's
like, like, oh, so you know the truth now, and
you finally come to meet your son, and I'm like,
what? Wow. What is happening? Anyways, fast forward
20 minutes. They're at the Canadian border. Was
there a hint to that at all? No. They just drop
that on you? Oh, well, no, no, no. They say,
like, while the bad guy's investigating the family,
like, trying to figure out, like, why Nick Cage
is saving this random family of all things. Like,
oh, maybe they have ties or whatever. It's like,
apparently, she, like, finds, like, an old driver's
license in their home that's, like, the girl's
real name. It's like, oh, this person isn't using
her real name. And I'm like, how is that supposed
to be interesting? Like, I barely know anything.
about this woman anyways. And she, like, whatever.
Anyways. Great writing. To the end. She gets
shot in the face. Nick Cage, like, Nick Cage
tells, like, and then the bad guy sticks up the
kid, like, has a gun to his head. He's like,
if I give you the USB drive, you'll let him go.
And he's like, alright, fine, yeah. So he gives
him the USB drive. The kid runs away. And then,
like, the guy sticks it into his, like, little
GPS thing. He's like, oh, it's blank! What? Oh!
And he shoots Nick Cage in the face. And Nick
Cage dies. He probably put it in wrong. Yeah,
right? No, he probably just needed to put it
up a little bit. Wait, Nick Cage died? Wait,
Nick Cage died. Oh, wow. You missed that, yeah.
So they might do a prequel. They might do a prequel,
yes, yes. This is why it's not set up for TV.
So the plot twist, and this is my fault for not
mentioning it, but at the beginning, like wherever
they... Spoiler. Spoiler alert. The third plot
twist is that at the beginning... That's how
you know it's a good movie. So Nick Cage gave...
What is this, an M. Night Shyamalan movie? Nick
Cage gives the kid at the beginning of the movie
like a rabbit's foot, so fucking on point, like,
here, keep this for good luck. It was mine, and
now it's yours. That was like the ass that Nick
Cage's face when the bullet shot. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no. No, no, no. This is too heavy
-handed. It had to be he was holding a Bible.
So the kid has the rabbit's foot around his neck,
and then when he runs away, he meets up with
the Canadian authorities or whatever. Who apparently
knew Nick Cage. Are they Mounties? Tell me they're
Mounties. Yeah, they're Mounties. They're basically,
like, renegade. No way. They're not, like, actually,
like, riding Mounties or whatever, but, like,
they're just renegade sci -fi Mounties or whatever.
And they're, like, so, like, Noah Cross, like,
did he give you anything at all? He's like, well,
just this rabbit's foot, and takes off the necklace
of the rabbit's foot, and then, like, twists
it open. And it has the USB on it! What? Oh,
no! And they plug it in, and then that's the
big reveal that I already told you guys. Like,
New Eden is a giant gas chamber and six crematoriums.
Every time we send a human to New Eden, they
get cremated. Oh, so everyone just dies there
at that house there? Yes, like, they just get
cremated, yeah. I feel like that... That's a
writing... purpose that should be the beginning
of the third act like yeah that reveal and then
the conclusion well it doesn't end it there they
like half revealed it though where like nick
cage sees the plans that don't show the plans
he's like what have we done oh god i'm like okay
well they're just it's just a mass genocide thing
that's what we're doing like that There's nothing
subtle about it. It's like, okay, cool. So anyways,
yeah, it ends with him, like, they broadcast
a video of just Nick Cage looking at the camera
and being like, explaining New Eden is a death
trap, blah. And he just ends with, let the revolution
begin. And it's just a montage of just tanks
going into cities and people rioting and shit.
Oh, that's definitely a sequel. Sequels. And
everything. Sequels. More prequels. Get in. Yeah,
I want. So if it sounds like this movie's bad,
it's because I skipped over some of the nuances
of it. Really, it's got to be something you got
to see to believe. Okay. It also sounds like
Andre would have appreciated them noting to the
USB like every maybe. minute or so, like, oh,
give me that USB. Right. You said they didn't
talk about it. Well, they didn't talk, well,
I didn't know that he even had it on him. Oh,
man, give me that USB, Nick Cage. I figured they
were just keeping, I think they were just trying
to, I figured they were just chasing after him
because, like, he's a rogue Humanity Bureau agent
they need to take down. I didn't realize that
he had the USB on him. Would it have made the
story better if they would have every, like,
minute or two would have been like, oh, give
me that USB. Yeah, you're right. No, you're right.
Yes, I think my problem with this movie was that
it was too complex. It was too subtle. Too complex.
Yeah. Wow. Yeah, dude, yeah. So what's your rating?
Yeah, what's the rating? My rating is one quarter
of a Douglas Cage paycheck out of five, I feel
like. That's a lot of money still, though. Yeah,
it's still a decent amount of money, but it's,
god damn. But it's not five paychecks. No, it's
not five paychecks. Okay. That's not what you
want. So T -Dog illuminated the situation for
me because I was so confused as to why Nick Cage,
like, you know Nick Cage has been in bad shit,
but this is, like, next level awful. And apparently
he's still in trouble with, like, Paying back
taxes or some shit like that? Or maybe I should
look up this shit before I... Yeah, I think I
saw it on Reddit. Something about where the IRS,
since he was in trouble for not paying taxes,
the IRS was requiring him to take certain...
Or rolls that were over a certain amount. So
basically, like, literally, if they could pay
him a certain amount, he can't say no? Yeah,
I don't know the specifics. Because he is phoning
it in. Like, he's not... Yeah. See, that's what's
so funny to me. Or maybe this was one that he
really wanted to do. It's a passion project.
Supposedly, like, he was in the action movie
of 2018, like the best action movie of 2018.
Mandy. Mandy, yeah. So what's the deal with that?
I really don't know. I haven't seen it. I haven't
seen it either. Because it was on this list that
I saw, and I don't know if this list is accurate.
But I've heard positive buzz about it. It's gotten
a good rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which is basically
the thing we decide what's the worst movie at
that point. It's gotten very good buzz on there.
And so because of this movie and this list, I'm
like, I'm intrigued. I want to see it. And I
have no clue about the plot, anything like that.
I think it's on Hulu or something like that.
Oh, there you go. I may check it out for the
next time. We'll see what happens. Or at least
give you a, like, yeah, Mandy was great, Mandy
was terrible, whatever. And I don't want to shit
on Nicolas Cage because I think he's been in
some good stuff. He was great in Into the Spider
-Verse. He was super fun there. He was great
in Into the Spider -Verse. So I've got to ask
you two. Who's you two? So T -Dog and Mitchell.
Yes. After hearing this synopsis, The Humanity
Bureau on Netflix if you are interested. We'll
go highly questionable style. Si o no. Oh, gotcha.
No, no. I'm trying to be poppy. Don't try to
be poppy. Just see or know. It's a hard no. It's
a very hard pass. Andre was very honest in his
review. I'm really surprised that the trailer
didn't say starring Academy Award winner Nicolas
Cage. Yes, that's true. Because that was the
only thing going for it. No, just the fact that
he had won it. Not him as an actor. Just the
fact that he'd won the thing back in the early
90s. Seeing the trailer, did you recognize any
other actors? actor, actress. So it's a Canadian
production, so it's random Canadian people. I
don't, but there are... No? Yeah. Okay, Sea Dog?
Sea or no? I was trying to look up if that IRS
thing was actually the case. Would you watch
this movie, Sea or no? Sea or no. I would watch
the movie if Andre was narrating the entire thing.
Are you saying at the back, this is the part
where, how would I narrate it? This is the part
where he's looking at the USB and finding out
the truth. Maybe we would just mute the movie
and then you would have to... So we're going
Mystery Science Theater style. You would have
to know all the lines and everything. Alright,
so Andre, how would you rate this amongst other...
Among other... Bad movies? No, Nick Cage movies.
Oh, so this is my least favorite Nick Cage movie
I've seen. Because I can't think of a worse one,
honestly. And it's like... I can think of one.
Which is what? Well, I don't know. I haven't
seen the movie, obviously. But Ghost Rider 2.
Oh. Spirit of Vengeance. Yeah, maybe. And that
was a passion project while we're on passion
projects because he wanted to be... He wanted
to be Ghost Rider. At least a superhero. Yes.
I would have watched that movie. You would have
watched Nick Cage as Superman? Even though I
hate Superman, I would watch Nick Cage as Superman.
It's funny, the movie that he was supposed to
be in for Superman was based on Death of Superman.
So it would have been Death of Superman. Again,
Death of Superman is my favorite Superman movie,
even though I hate Superman. Dude, Doomsday was
in Batman vs. Superman. That was the guy who
killed... That is why I watched Batman vs. Superman,
not Man of Steel. And even that... Dude, it was
awful. The only thing I can say about that movie
is, Fine, Martha! No. Save Martha. Save Martha.
Sorry. Okay. I just messed up the line of a crappy
movie. So, yeah, I mean, this movie is, like,
bad, but it's not bad in an interesting way.
Like, it's not so bad it's good. It's not bad.
Like, you can laugh at it, but, like, that can
only go so far. I don't know, dude. It's, like,
uninteresting. I have to introduce you to one
of my favorite movies ever that's, like, terrible.
I just completely spaced on the name of it. So
there. There it is. One of these days, we're
going to have to watch The Room. Oh, well, I
was going to bring up they wouldn't be able to
make a room -esque type. No, it was not the room
-esque type. Because the thing is that... Well,
I don't want to... That movie is so bad. That
movie is so bad, but it's so earnest. It's like
a surreal film. I feel like we should do a podcast
special where we all see the room. It's not just
one person. We all just sit down and watch the
room. I'm down to watch it. Are you? I've seen...
My favorite viewing experience in a theater recently
was seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show, which objectively
is a terrible movie. I love Rocky Horror. in
the theater like that. Exactly. The live experience
with the audience and everything, it's all crowd
participation. It's a blast. It's a blast, exactly.
Plus, fucking Tim Curry. Tim Curry's good. Yes,
I will say this, but as a movie, it's so bad.
Whenever we mention Tim Curry, I just have to
think of space! Sorry. Alright, so, have we decided?
Well, sorry, I jumped ahead. I want to know if
you guys have any movies you're looking forward
to in the next two weeks. Okay. We'll start with
Andre. Okay. I'm just going to out myself right
now. I'm planning on seeing Dragon Ball Super
Broly. As all of us are. I was just going to
say, I think all of us agreed we were going to
probably see that movie. Wait, if we see it together,
do we still have to, like, who gets to pick?
I could, well, how about, I call tips on presenting
it. Yeah, you're the one who presented the idea.
Well, if you don't lose. That's true. Oh, fuck.
Yeah, you're right. Anyways. Table of discussion.
I think you're... Hearing what the challenge
is, which we will set up at the end of this episode.
Here's what the challenge is. I think you're
in good shape. Yes. I think it's really coming
down to the three of us. All right. Anyways,
the reason I'm excited about this movie, hey,
it's Dragon Ball. It's just comfort food, nostalgia
all wrapped into one. I've heard nothing but
good things about this movie, and the original
creators back on board with it, and also the
animation, just from the trailers, it looks like
they're upping their game. It's not a normal
Dragon Ball movie, you know what I mean? This
is the theatrical release, not straight to DVD.
And it's about Broly, who's just cool. So, I'm
pumped. I'm going in not knowing anything. I'm
so excited about it, though, because it is Dragon
Ball. You're right. Yeah. So, T -Dog, what are
you excited about that you haven't seen or are
coming out? I haven't seen many movies that are
currently out. So, Glass, Spider -Man. I would
totally watch Spider -Verse again. I watched
it five times. I don't know what the hype around
Bumblebee is. I've heard good things about it.
I've heard good things about it. Good enough.
I think if you're enjoying the Transformers movies,
then why not? I think it overstays its welcome
for me, but I understand why you would get excited
about Bumblebee. It does feel like it's relaunching.
Yeah, exactly. So... Try to look up something.
Mitchell, do you have anything? Okay, I think
I'm... Growing in suspicion that I'm going to
be the pretentious one of the group when it comes
to movies. Are you growing in suspicion or do
you already know? I've seen a lot of these movies.
Andre voted for Trump. I'm a communist and you're
pretentious. I'm pretentious. We all have our
typecast here. It's this movie that was directed
by Peter Jackson. This is not the live action.
The Hobbit 2. Jesus. I think I know what you're
talking about and I have seen it. Have you? If
it's... They Shall Not Grow Old? Oh, no. Okay.
I saw Mortal Engines. You called him on that
bluff right there. Yeah, you did. Okay, Mortal...
How was that, by the way? It didn't look good.
Yeah, it didn't look good. I saw it because I
wanted to see a movie. Okay. And because Claire
would not let me see Into the Spider -Verse without
her. Oh, gotcha. Okay. So I went and saw Mortal
Engines to kill time. Okay. And as far as time
was killed? Yes. It was killed. Okay. Did you
ever get that back? As far as did I want to kill
myself? Ooh, rough. He does a great job creating
worlds. Yeah, sure. This world was created. But
at the same time, I wondered why the world was
created. There you go. And so it's nothing against
Peter Jackson or anything like that. It was just
the movie itself. Couldn't use him. And I will
say this. The movie I'm about to bring up, it
kind of lends to the idea that he's great at
creating worlds. He's great with technology.
Peter Jackson with this movie called They Shall
Not Grow Old. It's a, I guess you can call it
a documentary. Here's the basis of the film.
It's all original World War I footage of people
in the army, tanks, all this stuff, but it's
colored. this is like really well done colorized
version and they recreate the sound that you
would have heard if sound was a capable thing
at that point in history so they it is basically
giving you a new look at the first great war
wow this is world war one this is world war one
so he specifically chose that because it is the
forgotten of the two So he wanted to breathe
life into that to actually bring some remembrance
in those who gave their lives. He's from New
Zealand, and that is for the first time New Zealand
was on the big stage in terms of sending troops
out to battle World War I. So it's a very, you
know, it's a movie that's honoring those who
laid down their lives for the greater good. And
I think World War I is definitely a war that
you could categorize that in. And it's basically
a new way of looking at the past. Because there's
definitely a disconnect that you feel when you
see something that's black and white. It's like,
oh, yeah, that is from way back when. When, at
the end of the day, World War I, in the grand
scheme of things, was a little under 100 years
ago. So it's like... Relatively speaking, very
recent. It's very recent. And that was the whole
point of this. I had a friend who saw it in Washington,
D .C. They had a limited release around Christmas.
It did so well that they're bringing it back
for a couple more screenings. Oh, cool. I think
either this or next week in the United States.
And from all accounts from what I heard, it's
awesome. So I do want to see that. If it's showing
in Hartford, fingers crossed. New York might
be the closest. I'm not going to drive to Hartford.
Because we're uncultured swines here. Exactly.
So, I mean, we'll see. But that's the one I'm
eager to watch. Dragon Ball. We're watching Dragon
Ball. We've got plenty of Dragon Balls. We don't
know what the problem is. As pretentious as I
am. freaking love dragon ball i'm so excited
for that movie but okay so i'm sorry what is
it they shall not grow old they shall not grow
old okay and the title kind of tells you the
point in the movie yeah so that's it all right
sounds interesting it does sound interesting
i'm intrigued and i do agree with that peter
jackson does create worlds and everything like
that so i he knows that he's technology yeah
so um So you may laugh at me for the one I'm
excited about. I still have not seen Bohemian
Rhapsody, which I want to see. But the other
one that is a little more under the radar that
I think is going to be good, but I don't have
the best taste in movies, is The Kid Who Would
Be King. Oh my gosh. It's a new spin on the King
Arthur movie. Exactly. And so the story is tried
and true. And the thing is, we don't have the
Nick Cage thing. Where Nick Cage has to be in
this movie. And Sir Patrick Stewart is. Wait,
what? Sir Patrick Stewart's in this movie? He
is. Who is he? He plays Merlin at the old stage.
Oh. Because Merlin's supposed to be a young kid.
So what happens in the trailer, at least what
I've learned from the trailer, is that Merlin
hides himself as a kid to talk to the kid who
would be king. Gotcha. And so when he's old,
it is Sir Patrick Stewart. And he does not have
to be in anything. Yeah. No. At least from what
I know. Maybe he is. And the dude's a busy man
because they're making another Star Trek series
with Picard, right? Oh, yes, they are. That's
awesome. By all accounts, that's a great thing
for him to go back into. Oh, for sure. He doesn't
have to do this King Arthur movie or whatever
it's called. Yeah, and so this is the movie that
I'm like, wait, he doesn't have to be in this.
Yeah. The movie looks decent. It doesn't look
great, but it does look decent. And I'm excited
for two hours in a movie. just to watch something
on screen and be like, I was amused. I'm not
going in going, this is going to win an Oscar.
This is going to make me a big person. It's not.
It's not going to make a show. Yeah, but it's
just one of those things where I'm going, it's
not going to win a Razzie. So I think I'm okay.
Okay. All right. Now we come to movies we're
not excited about. Coming out in the next couple
of weeks. We'll go back around the table on that.
This is really awkward. Because mine was the
kid who would be king. I'm sorry. I get how you
get there, too, though. The thing is, I will
say, disclaimer, I did not know Sir Patrick Stewart
was in this movie. But all of my knowledge from
it is with that 30 -second TV spot that I have
to watch every single fucking time I open a YouTube
video. See, but the 30 -second spot is not what
the movie is. Okay. Like I've seen this trailer,
the two -minute one at the theater. And it's
just nothing but – oh, okay. Go for it. No, no.
I've seen like the two -minute one and it just
– it looks wholesome. It looks funny. Sure. It
looks decent. And like I said, it could suck.
It could be a trademark. Yeah. It could not be.
Rotten Tomatoes, like, we've disagreed on a lot
of movies. It could be one of those movies that
qualifies for loser has to see it. But for whatever
reason, I'm excited. Yeah, I mean, even though
we're using Rotten Tomatoes as a barometer for
how bad a movie is, I have also had many movies
where I disagree with Rotten Tomatoes, both on
the positive and negative end of the spectrum.
So it's not perfect. So you're human. That's
great. Yes, right. Anyway, sorry, Mitchell, you
were saying something? No, yeah, so I was just
going to say, to be fair, neither of us, or none
of us at this table have seen the movie. So we
can't pass that. We legitimately can't pass that.
This is the requirement for this movie. This
is just an eye test. This is just an eye test.
So how about this? The 30 -second YouTube commercial
that I had to watch all the time on Hulu fails
the eye test because it's all just awful one
-liners that are just so cringy. It's like, oh,
it just looks... They made it look like it's
like, oh, it's the Arthur story. You know me.
I'm the kid who would be king of one -liners.
Oh, okay. For sure. For sure. Fair point. Fair
point. I'll rest on that one line. Yes. There
you go. Done. Okay. That's my movie. But it does,
I mean, it does look like it is a very coin -flippable
movie. Yes. Or it should be like. Okay, this
is good. I would love to be wrong. I'm never
rooting... This needs Nick Cage. How about this?
I'm never rooting against a movie. How about
that? That's fair. T -Dog, is there anything...
I have not been paying attention... Aside from
that promo that's been playing on Hulu. So you've
seen it too? Yeah, I've been re -watching Wreck
-It -Morty and it's... Brooklyn Nine -Nine, man.
That's how it gets to me, man. Toy, toy. So I
do not have anything that stands out or that
I know of, which I would be regretful to see.
Okay. Mitchell? I will say this. Spoiler, this
is the movie I think that we have all elected
that the loser for this week's challenge is going
to see, and it's A Dog Way's Home. I will say
this. A dog way. What? It is genius. For this
production team to say, you know what, we're
going to – so there was a dog movie of the same
universe. I don't know if you want to call it
that. That came out a couple years ago. The Dogiverse.
Yeah, The Dogiverse. I totally forgot the name
of it. A Dog's Purpose. No, A Dog's Purpose.
That was terrible. Yes. It was awful. But it
did well and cheap to make. Dog's Way Home, I
think, is the same archetype. And you know why?
Americans love dogs. I love dogs. I grew up with
dogs. How many people freaking saw Marley and
Me just because it was about a dog? Yeah, true.
And Owen Wilson. Come on. No, they saw it from
Marley. They saw it from Marley. Yeah, you're
right. Owen was a supporting character. So the
way I see this movie is that it's homeward bound
with a third of the cast. You know what I mean?
Absolutely. Where's the precocious cat? Come
on. No, I don't know what the dynamic is. It's
a dog, by the way, that has a voiceover, so thankfully
you don't see the lips move. So it's just like,
at least for the trailer. So at the end they
didn't feed it peanut butter and make it fly?
No, so at least it didn't go to that level, but
objectively... Jesus Christ. This is objectively,
at least from the trailer, the trailer looks
awful. It looks very corny, and because we're
of the challenge, which I don't want to spoil,
I think I'm actually going to be the one who
watches. Get excited. Yeah, get excited. Whoever
loses is most likely, unless something changes,
most likely going to see that movie. Yes. And
then we will have a review in the upcoming weeks.
Is that out already? It's been out. I think it
was like a Christmas release. Yes. And that's
a perfect time for a movie, by the way. That
might be going away, though. Yeah, so whoever
loses should look at the stage. White Mounds
Across This Country United for a Dog Wave. Okay,
you're right. I guess it's probably doing better
than Holmes and Watson did, so maybe it's not
as much of a lose. It did. Okay. There you go.
I mean, I'm sure it's on Rotten Tomatoes is better
than 8%. Oh, sure, sure, sure. But I also, that
doesn't make me, I actually would rather watch,
if you gave me a choice, I would rather watch
Hilton Watson. I would rather watch Hilton Watson,
yeah. For sure. So I agree. That movie is terrible.
We don't need to see it. We've just not even
seen it. And I'm a little worried. I know you
think you're going to do it. I think I'm screwed
on this one. But there is a news article. Well,
you know, quote unquote news. Box office can
be upside. comma a dog's way home sink aquaman
so you know wow wow people aquaman okay oh well
granted i think aquaman was out the upside is
also contender because i and that's a bummer
because like i saw the trailer it looks like
fun enough you know within the round all the
critics were like well what i feel like with
that movie is they just wasted all their jokes
in the trailer yes right yeah but like i like
kevin hart and i like brian cranson so i love
brian cranson yeah i love brian cranson so all
right The movie I am going to say that I'm not
looking forward to. It is not about the person
starring in it. It is not. I feel like they are
suckered into a movie because they have another
project coming. Okay. They said, okay, we'll
do your project, but you have to star in this
movie. Hey, must be the money. It is Taraji P.
Henson. Oh, my goodness. In What Men Want. Oh,
my goodness. The spiritual sequel to the Mel
Gibson What Women Want. Oh, my God. Perfect movie
for Mel to star in. Yes. Oh, by far, yes. Mel
knows. The funny thing is, I was talking to somebody
about this, and they pointed out that, That movie
has become much more of a classic. Like, What
Women Want became much more of a classic seeing
what men want. The trailer. Yes. Because everybody's
just like, oh, What Women Want was great. It
was fine. Yeah. I never saw it. But it was decent
enough that people had seen it. Right. And now
they're just going back and going, like, I'm
seeing this trailer going, yeah, What Women Want
was way better. Way better. And it's like, it's
Mel Gibson. And the movie about, like... I think
some people are still a little uncomfortable
with Mel, to be fair. Agreed. And so I get why
they went with Taraji P. Henson for this movie.
But at the same time, I feel like she's stuck
in this. She wants to do this passion project.
This studio said, we'll fund it, but you have
to do this. And so I think what men want... Looks
terrible. I'm not excited about it. And so just
to sum up the plot for people who don't know,
and it's the same thing for both films. So for
this one, the woman now, Taraji P. Henson, is
now reading people's minds or men's minds. Yes.
On accident. She's just like a radio receptor.
Right. And back with Mel, it was him hearing
women's thoughts. Yeah. And thus him. I guess
sleeping with them for it? No, I don't even think
it was that. I think it was better understanding
the women's minds and why he shouldn't be a womanizer.
Oh. It doesn't have the same flip because I don't
feel like she was a manizer. What's the term
for that? So I don't feel like she was a manizer.
Can we trademark that for the podcast? We can
trademark that. Hashtag Manizer. Goodness. That's
T -Dog's new nickname, actually. Yes. T -Dog.
Manizer. Oh, yes. You threw Andre under the bus.
We have to call you a Manizer. So, all right.
We will jump into our next challenge. Watch Andre
as a loser of the first challenge. Let us hear
what our challenge is this week. All right. Strategically
picked to give me the most advantage, the biggest
advantage. It is a Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
three -stock battle, no items, any character.
We'll say... Nerd! There we go. Done. That's
the challenge. Loser has to... It'll be four
-person free -for -all. Loser has to watch...
Dog's Way Home. Dog's Way Home. Okay. There's
a snake here. Well, until then... We're going
to try to do this bi -weekly, I think is what
we said. Yeah, how's that? All right, bi -weekly.
So for Andre, T -Dog, Mitchell, and myself, Mike,
we will see you in two weeks after this challenge.
You can find the challenge on our YouTube page,
which is going to be something that's going to
be attached to the website. Yes, look out for
T -Dog's hand. Probably something called Game
for a Movie on YouTube. Cool. All right. So until
next time, anybody have any sign -off words?
Thanks for listening, and we'll see you guys
next time. Andre, you're going down, dude. I
can't wait for you to lose on your own challenge.
Oh, my God. If I lose on my own challenge – Do
you like dogs, bro? Do you like dogs? I hate
dogs. I love dogs. I would probably – You're
about to watch a freaking hour -and -a -half
movie about a dog finding his way home. Oh, no.