Yeah. It's been a while, so you may not know
what that sound means, but that sound means we
have a game for a movie podcast. Woo! We back!
It has been forever. What sound are we talking
about? The sound of the beer opening? The fresh
can of beer. Oh, the one that just happened.
Yes. We were all there for that. That was not
in... Well, I mean, we were all there for that.
Yeah, that's true. It was not done editing -wise.
That was live. Oh, my God. I am your host, Mikey
Tag. I am joined by... Mitchell Clements. T -Dog.
Andre Bellinger. Hi, guys. Hi! It's good to see
you guys. I forgot my name, actually. Dude, were
you actually about to let it slip? You know,
maybe you shouldn't use a code name, and then
it wouldn't be so hard. No, I feel like if T
-Dog drops his pseudonym... Yeah, it's like ingrained.
Yeah, right. Like, episode 50, we're gonna do,
like, a Who is T -Dog? I feel like just to get
the viewers back in. Bring them back. T -Dog
face reveal, episode 50. It's actually just a
tease. It has been a long time, guys. A lot of
life events have happened. You got some new hardware.
I do have some new hardware. I got married. Yes,
it's a big deal. Andre, you have a girlfriend.
I do. Yes, committed. Nice. I guess so, yeah.
Yes, that's great. You've got Mitchell at your
birthday's this week. I know. I'm old as crap.
You are an old man, and I'm still older than
you. You are. Yeah, thanks for saying old as
crap. And T -Dog. So we go on to the show. No,
T -Dog, you were in Paris, weren't you? I don't
have any life events going on ever. Yeah, I was
in Paris before the wedding. Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, dude. World traveler. You know, I saw,
like, that building. That building? You know,
the Eiffel Tower. Oh! That's more of a structure
than a building. It had stuff on it. Yeah, that's...
I guess it's true. Nice. That's cool, though,
really. It was great. They didn't go up the Eiffel
Tower. You didn't climb it? You didn't scale
it? They didn't venture up. Ever since I did
it, they decided, no, we should do that again.
They locked it down at that point. That's what
happens when you go up the Eiffel Tower naked.
Look, man, I wanted to be free. I thought the
French were cool with it. And apparently it's
a felony. So here I am. Did you serve time in
a French prison? All I can say is I'm not welcome
back in France anytime soon. Alright, well. I've
never been to Europe. The funny thing is we're
all sober, but with a little luck that's not
going to be any longer. Because we are drinking
some beers here. Sponsored by Goose Island. Two
different ones for four different people. We
have three Goose Islands at the table. Alright,
hell yeah. Goose Goose. I'm just sharing Mitchells.
Oh, that's not true. Delicious. Delicious. I
have a Sheban Brewing Platypus. It's a plaid.
It's a cute little platypus. Yeah, it's a hipster
guy. It's a hipster platypus. He's got a little
scarf. He's got beer. He's got his glasses, you
know, and he's wearing a plaid jacket. So getting
back to it, we saw some movies as well. We will
go around the table. Let's start with you, Mitchell.
What did you see? I saw one of the weirdest movies
I've seen all year, and I was... completely mentally
prepared to see one of the weirdest movies i've
seen all year and that is the lighthouse how
do you mentally prepare for that well i kind
of just look back and see all right i know willem
dafoe is batshit crazy locked in i'm ready to
go I know that Robert Eggers, who directed this,
also directed The Vovovich, or The Witch, from
a couple years back. That was a very weird, high
art horror kind of movie. Mentally, boom. Locked
in for that. And Robert Pattinson, who is, in
my opinion, going on a string of some really
odd role choices. I'm locked in. So basically,
I know where everyone was, possibly mentally.
Best Batman? Who knows what Robert Pattinson's
going to do. Best Green Goblin for Willem Dafoe?
Absolutely. I really hope they bring him back.
But anyway, this movie, oh God, he's so batshit.
And he's perfect for a Sam Raimi movie. Anyway,
so, and all's to say, for this movie, as much
as Willem Dafoe is... The main reason why I'm
going to recommend this movie, it's mainly because
of how he is delivering this damn dialogue. Similar
to The Witch, which was set in the 1600s, Robert
Eggers and his brother, who co -wrote the screenplay,
did their homework in terms of finding all the
different nuances of how sailor men spoke in
the 1800s, like early 1800s. If you're thinking
swashbuckling pirates, this is exactly what they
went with. Wow, really? It is hilarious. Mainly
because they give all the best monologues, which
don't make any damn sense to Willem Dafoe, who
is looking batshit crazy in beautiful black and
white, with the lighting just making his eyes
pop even more than they do. And he has this bushy
-ass beard. Looks like he's been out at sea for
50 years. And he just... for this role i know
mike you brought this up episode one of this
podcast you shipped on willem dafoe you're like
this guy should hang it up he's done oh i'll
insert my words yeah i'll put it right here also
willem dafoe as a whole i love you i love you
willem dafoe if you hear this just know i love
you stop doing this now After hearing that, I
will say, fuck you, Mike Botanic, from however
long ago that episode was, because this might
be the best. How long ago was that? I don't know.
That was last December? Last December. Oh, wow.
That was when Aquaman came out. Aquaman. Because
that's what I was referring to, is Willem Dafoe
and Aquaman. Oh, damn, he was in that. Yeah,
you see why I was saying that. We all gotta pay
the bills, y 'all. We all gotta pay the bills.
Well, anyway, with this, it was amazing. Beautiful
black and white, Robert Pattinson. They are the
only two people, besides a mermaid, are the only
two people in this film. So you are stuck with
them on a rock in a lighthouse the entire time.
And it's about... Both of them going crazy at
the same time. Your main character is Robert
Pattinson, so you're mainly seeing it through
his eyes. So Willem Dafoe always seems a little
bit disjointed because of that. But that's not
to say that Robert Pattinson is also losing his
goddamn mind in this. There's almost a point
where it looks like he's doing a Willem Dafoe
impression with the very overexpressed eye. positioning
and and how he's delivering his lines very swashbuckling
again and anyway the entire time it's it's a
tour de force of acting of two people playing
off each other they hate each other when they're
sober love each other when they're drunk and
all the while it is on a course of just spooky
did that really happen did that not and ultimately
it's a uh It's just a fucked up movie at the
end. It's Resolution. Ultimately, it's a love
story. Ultimately, it's a love story. I will
say this. They kind of flirt with that, which
is really odd. Anyway, so the movie overall,
I don't want to waste all the time here because
we have a fantastic shit movie that might be
to talk about. But The Lighthouse, I do recommend
it. Definitely not for most movie fans. This
is for those who are just looking for something
completely different. A lot of people are...
it as a horror movie I would not I found it more
as a possibly thriller I almost saw it as a comedy
in a way so I have two questions two questions
is it black and white the entire time yes okay
and then is it shot like four by three instead
of like yeah So they do the box ratio. A lot
of people were asking or interpreting that as,
hey, this is just a way to cue you in on how
long ago it was. I could totally see it that
way. I think it really serves the movie best
in serving how claustrophobic it is. Right, that
sounds the exact same. You're boxed in, literally.
You're very boxed in with these two characters.
And I will say this, it does take a while for
the movie to find its legs. Maybe sea legs, as
it were. About 20 minutes in until... You really
start hearing the funny dialogue. Willem Dafoe
freely farts the entire movie, which is great.
Really? They just don't even touch on it? Well,
I think there's a couple ways you can interpret
it. He's just a guy who runs that lighthouse.
So in a way, that's just him showing his dominance.
Like, this is my place you are visiting. Did
you just fart? T -Dog? Okay, yeah, blame it on
the chair. Willem Dafoe did not. He owned it.
I really... He's making chair squeaks. Willem
Dafoe was nominated for an Oscar last year for
his portrayal of Vincent Van Gogh. I would love
to see him get nominated for a supporting actor
for this particular role as well, which is Thomas
Wake. Very weird movie. Very bizarre. A good
alternative if you're looking to see something
spooky but not a true horror movie. The Lighthouse
is for you. I'm going to give this one... solely
based on the performances everything else i don't
think quite clicks from a narrative point of
view it doesn't really hold your attention the
entirety of the runtime and i feel like the pacing
is pretty uneven especially with a very long
slog of a beginning and then just like a rapid
pace what the hell is happening thing at the
end maybe it was on purpose maybe it wasn't for
me it didn't work i'm gonna give this one a three
out of five to faux farts and overall recommendation
okay um so you said spooky but uh what exactly
was like spooky about the movie so the spookiness
comes from the um and again it's never completely
revealed whether it's true or not but the things
that robert pattinson sees oh okay so okay that's
so it's the imagery it's more the imagery i could
only count one jump scare Maybe. I saw it in
a pretty packed house and a couple people jumped
including me. But that's about it. But for the
most part, it's just about the conversation between
the guys and the conflicting nature of their
relationship. Interesting. And it's about loneliness.
Very much like The Witch. So Robert Eggers definitely
has a certain topic of the human condition that
this guy likes to talk about through horror movies.
Anyway, I recommend it. Three out of five. So
yeah, T -Dog? So I watched El Camino. For those
unfamiliar with the Breaking Bad story. Oh, not
the car? I don't think there were any in the...
I don't know. El Camino? There's no El Camino.
Yeah. Wait a second. That was awesome. So the
AMC popular series, Breaking Bad. This is a follow
-up movie. So if you're familiar with the Better
Call Saul series, I haven't... kept up on it
like I watched the first season it's great but
I just you know I don't think it's required viewing
for this it's not and so that's kind of the point
that I wanted to make that Breaking Bad certainly
would be beneficial to watch it. Like, I don't
know how you would really... It's not that you
wouldn't enjoy this movie, it's just that there
wouldn't be a lot of content to the backstory,
etc. So a lot of the characters are built up,
you know, throughout Breaking Bad. So that would
be hard to relate with the characters that are
expressed in El Camino. It takes place right
after. Yeah, so it's a mix of... It takes place
right after, but it's... I don't know what the
breakdown is, even approximately. They do flashbacks
a lot. Gotcha. Okay. So if we go back to the
end of Breaking Bad when Walt... essentially
frees Jesse from captivity with the other drug
lords. I don't remember exactly the... Spoilers
for Breaking Bad, by the way. Yeah, major spoilers
for Breaking Bad. Yeah, if you haven't seen Breaking
Bad, watch it. It's fantastic. It's very good.
And it is on Netflix, too, right? It's on Netflix
now, yeah. You can watch all of it on Netflix.
Even Better Call Saul is on there as well if
you want to watch part of that. All the first
and second season now. Yeah, maybe a season or
two behind. Yeah. So... uh basically jesse takes
off um he escapes you know any police captivity
uh for the time being like from the start of
the movie and he takes off uh heads back to where
badger and um skinny pete um skipping my mind
but uh so um He takes refuge there for a little
while, but it's really not focused around him,
like, staying with them or their interactions.
You know, it's more of... There are some brief
interactions with those characters. Towards the
initial start, it really focuses on some of the
flashbacks of Jesse's captivity with, like, I
think it's Todd. Yeah, Todd. Oh, God. Yeah, so
a lot of that exposure. Todd being this person
who is... oddly friendly, but then still... He's
still a psychopath. Yeah, he doesn't quite relate
to the pain that he inflicts on others. Yeah,
right. So he's very disassociated to that. But
he doesn't necessarily treat Jesse like complete
shit, but, you know, there's like this weird
line for Todd. And so it goes through some of
those examples, like when Todd's in this hole
or, you know, pit that's just concrete and, you
know... gives jesse a cigarette um and things
like that when his uncles are away um he goes
with uh so todd takes him to his house to actually
dispose of a maid who todd killed because she
found some of his money and it wasn't that she
even blamed him he just you know didn't think
she should have seen it and he felt bad that
she was a good worker so you know That was his
remorse, was that she was a good worker. Not
that actually she was dead. Doesn't care that
she's dead. Yeah, it's still really weird of
his emotional connection to that. It's like killing
her and leaving a blood spot and going, now who's
going to clean it up? Yeah, and like, oh, she
was a good person. It's too bad that had to happen.
It's funny, you keep saying Todd. Isn't that
Aaron Paul's character in Bojack Horseman? It
is, yeah. I am just picturing those two. Yes,
vastly different characters. And then, so the
other part of the current life situation, he's,
so how it segues is that he needs to go, so he's
pretty much broke right now, but he's trying
to get away. So if you remember... At a point
in Breaking Bad, there was an opportunity he
had to basically leave and go to Alaska. Same
guy, like, they were going to, I think he owned
a vacuum cleaner store. Yeah, a vacuum store.
And so he first goes to the apartment that Todd
was living in, finds the money. You know, there's
some altercations going on there. And then part
of the, I would say... Not necessarily. So the
thing about this is it's like a giant or a long
Breaking Bad episode. So how long is it? It's
over an hour. So it's a feature length. But it
really just feels like a bunch of Breaking Bad
episodes cut up or taped together into one. Is
that a good thing? It's great. It's fantastic.
Two hours and two minutes. But it really didn't
seem like that long but then also at the same
time not a lot happens in it. And so it's great
like in terms of production quality and I would
say like continuing the Breaking Bad type storytelling
and how that was produced. So without like going
into everything and giving all the key elements
away, I think I'll end it there. I'd give it
a four. I don't even know what to rate this out.
Let's go with four. blue meth crystals. Ooh,
okay. Nice. How much are you selling those for?
I don't know, man. Come on, do your marketing
research, bro. So even in flashback form, is
Walter in this at all? Walter's in it briefly,
and it's kind of weird because they try to make
Jesse look younger. Right, I was wondering how
they handle that. They don't really need to do
that with Walter or with Brian. Brian Cranston,
yeah. You know, they're pretty limited in the
flashbacks. They do more so tell kind of like
Jesse's personality versus like any other story
content. It's more about like Jesse's character.
And that's kind of this entire episode is like
Jesse's character. They even had a flashback
with his girlfriend who... Walt killed, right?
Oh, yeah, Jessica Jones. Oh, that's right. So
they had a really brief one with her. So when
you said they tried to make him look younger,
is it how he was dressed in makeup, or is it
like Irishman kind of thing? So in his current
state, he has a shaven head. Oh, like Walt? yeah
yeah it's not you know it's his more like rugged
look okay um and then in some of the old ones
he has like his hair grown out more gotcha okay
cool cool so so if you're a fan of the show yeah
watch it absolutely okay cool if you're if you're
not a fan of the show you're probably not gonna
like it if you haven't seen it though I think
it just makes sense to watch Breaking Bad and
see if you like that. Yeah, for sure. Would you
want more movies out of, like, an anthology kind
of thing at all? Like, are you wanting more from
Jesse's story without getting into spoilers?
I don't know. Not really. I mean, I feel like...
Better Call Saul is probably, like, the option
you'd go to if you really want more Breaking
Bad content. And, you know, the story of Walt
and Jesse had kind of played its course. Yeah,
that's the main complaint I'm hearing from El
Camino. Like, I know people on both sides. I
really liked it. I really didn't like it. A lot
of people that didn't like it were just happy
with the way it ended. Right, because that Breaking
Bad finale was so good. Yeah. And, like, it's
not saying it was a bad movie. It was just more
so, like, they were so happy with how it ended
that they just didn't need anything else yeah
okay cool we go to andre all right so i like
many of you saw joker yeah oh beautiful dancing
the dancing did you just great audio dude no
spoilers i was just i was actually just about
to spoil something for you and i was like oh
i gotta stop so you're gonna try to do spoiler
free yes t -dog has not seen it right but the
rest of us have earmuffs yeah um You know, limited
spoilers, but obviously, go ahead. It's not going
to ruin a movie for me. Yeah, no, definitely.
I think, I mean, honestly, even if you read a
Wikipedia page and how the narrative of this
movie goes, I feel like that's not what you would
get out of the movie, if that makes sense. It's
not plot twist heavy or anything. For the most
part, you kind of see the trajectory of where
it goes. That's actually kind of one of my weird,
not complaints, but I was like, okay. Everything
happened pretty much how I expected it to happen,
if that makes sense, which is fine. I think this
will be more of an open discussion with you guys,
because I'm curious how you guys feel about this
movie, too. Right off the bat, I liked it a lot.
I think it's a super well -made movie, but I'm
not super in love with it. I think it's solid.
I like... meta around it in terms of I'm glad
that we could have a superhero movie that's different
enough from other, you know, like it's so disconnected
from everything else. There's no sequel in the
works, obviously. Yet. It's making a shit ton
of money. It is, but you can't tell me they're
not going to make a sequel. It's the top grossing
R -rated. I know, which is shocking to me. That's
crazy to beat Deadpool, honestly. I knew it would
do well, but I didn't think it would beat him.
do that well. Neither did I. I think it was almost
the outlash of people that told us not to watch
it and made people go see it. Yeah, there's a
lot of social conversation around it. Some of
that is manufactured. A little bit, right? I
would think, but still, it's weird. that it pushed
the opposite way. Ralph the Bat, extremely well
acted. Obviously, Joaquin Phoenix is not pulling
any punches in terms of his role. Same with Robert
De Niro. He's chewing up the few scenes that
he has in that movie. He's great. I will say
that it kind of wears its Scorsese inspirations
on its sleeve to a point where it's a little
much, I think. Every frame of the movie. Yeah,
right. To the point where I was like, I kind
of wanted it to be its own thing, but whatever.
It echoes those movies so blatantly that it kind
of took me out of it a little bit. But it's still,
again, everything in a vacuum was super well
done. I think it's kind of weird that people
are saying that it tries to humanize the Joker
in a way, but I don't really see it that way,
I guess, where basically this movie's main thesis
is that the Joker is a product of Gotham, right,
as opposed to just a crazy person in a vacuum.
So one of the reviews I saw early on before I
saw it was they said it was a realistic descent
into madness. Okay, sure. A little bit. I see
it because of things like... not having that
support network. Yeah, absolutely. You know what
I mean? That's true. It feels almost like Murphy's
Law, the movie, in terms of with poor Arthur
Fleck. Everything possibly bad that could happen
to him has happened to him already and that continues
to happen to him throughout the film. I will
say this is two hours of just brutal misery almost.
It is. I saw with my girlfriend, we left, and
we were just both drained after that. I agree.
Yeah. And, uh, I don't know. That being said,
like, in a vacuum, there was some, like, the,
like, the scenes in a vacuum were fantastic.
Like, I think my favorite scene, and I'll keep,
no spoilers, T -Dog, but when he, basically,
it's near the end when he first actually, like,
when he's, like, partway through his makeup.
You know what I mean? In his own apartment, that
scene. That was a good scene. So good. Like,
just the tension of that scene, um, just absolutely
perfect. Um. Yeah. Yeah. That was really well
done. And, like, Credit to Todd Phillips, though.
I will say, this guy is known for the Hangover
movies. Right, yes. This is definitely a tonal
pivot. And to do this movie, it's completely
different, in my opinion. And it's just one of
those things that's really interesting to me
that this director did this movie. Yeah, right.
Definitely. I like the way, I mean, I'm kind
of rambling here, but I liked how they handled
Joker's laugh. I liked, like, Joaquin Phoenix's
laugh is perfect, I think, in so far, like, for
his own taking, that you can feel the pain in
it. You can, like, I'm just imagining how tough
that was to get down, where when he's laughing,
you can hear the catch in his throat, and it's
just, you felt that. You felt physically pain
for him, you know? Right. Yeah, I mean, like...
Again, certain moments in a vacuum elicit a huge
emotional response out of me, but at the end
of the day, I did kind of feel like it's not
super subtle in what it tries to say, and there
are certain soliloquies that characters have
that are literally just like, okay, you're just
blatantly stating what this movie's trying to
say literally, if that makes sense. At the very
end of that film, I was like, okay, I was a little
ham -fisted, but all right, sure, shoot your
shot. Before we started this conversation, you
brought up... Where does he fall on the Joker
list? Yes. In your opinion, where does he fall?
On my Joker list? Joaquin Phoenix? I think he's
just behind Heath Ledger, honestly. Only because
I think it's... I need some time to sit with
it more. I just like the film that Heath Ledger
is in more than the Joker. And it's still super
iconic. I will say my top one... My top Joker,
no matter what, is Mark Hamill. He's my default
Joker. He's who I hear basically whatever I think
of the Joker. That's his performance. It's what
comes to mind. For me, it's Heath is number one.
Then it's tough because with Joaquin Phoenix
to judge a Joker performance because this performance
can almost live on its own if it weren't for...
The really forced Bruce Wayne stuff. Yes! I get
the Thomas Wayne part. The Bruce Wayne stuff
bothered me. But anyway, all to say is that it's
hard to judge a Joker performance in my mind
without the ebb and flow of an interaction with
Batman. And this movie does not offer that because
it is not taking place in that timeline of their
history, which is fine. So it's hard for me to
say that's number one. Love their performance.
I put it right up there with Heats in terms of...
commitment and taking on a completely different
version of the character that we haven't seen
before. And Jared Leto, for as much as we could
shit on his portrayal, which I am not a fan of
at all, he compared the Joker role as Hamlet,
where any actor can bring his own influence to
it and it can become his own character. And I
think he's totally right. Yeah, and I should
clarify, I think... Joaquin Phoenix did a fantastic
job of separating himself from Heath Ledger's
performance. And that was kind of one of the
big worries I had, especially since they both
have kind of like, just their hairstyles, kind
of similar in a way. Like, if you just look at
a poster, you're like, all right, this is kind
of going for that Dark Knight vibe. No, very
different, and I'm very happy with that direction.
Yeah, I go Heath, probably Joaquin, just because
I love the performance. Mark Hamill, and then
Jack, and then going on. I don't care after that.
Sounds pretty standard, yeah. Where's Leto? Probably
at the bottom. My problem was I couldn't tell
the character was damaged because he didn't have
it tattooed on his forehead. Yeah, right. You
know, that's true. It's true. I was kind of confused
by that. I was kind of confused. That movie is
such a mess. Oh, my God. Yeah, like, again, when
he's put on the makeup, I was like, all right,
where is he going to go to the tattoo parlor,
get the damage on his forehead? Right, he needs
damage done on his forehead. And get the grill.
And get the grill, yeah, exactly. Oh, God, that
movie is awful. I think that's part two. Joker
part 2 Joker squad part 2 I would love if DC
just doubled down on that version of the Joker
and were like fuck it Joaquin do a joke Jared
Leto just did no they just transformed like half
of the movie is Joaquin, and then his progress,
like, you know, maybe hitting some roids, weight
room, getting tattoos, and then it just transformed.
Getting way into 30 seconds to Mars. See, I'm
going opposite direction. I want a Joker -led
movie where he faces against Batman, and he tricks
him by having multiple copies of himself. One
played by Jack Nicholson, one Jared Leto. We've
got one, obviously can't do Heath Ledger, but
one's Mark Hamill. Yeah. Just have them all in
different spots and it's like just kind of a
nod when Batman's pummeling them and just realizes,
wait. You're not Joaquin Joker. Okay, damn it.
If you call him Joaquin Joker. Yes, please. That's
something that would happen in a Deadpool. Yes,
that is a very Deadpool take. And then he'd make
a reference like, oh, we're sorry, this one couldn't
be here. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, so not to circle
back, I do agree, the Bruce Wayne stuff, what
little bit was there was Superforce, and I think
the movie would have been better without it.
I will say... I like this movie's take on Thomas
Wayne for sure. Yes. I think it's an interesting
take in that usually, in any other Batman media,
Thomas Wayne is a saint, the billionaire philanthropist,
benevolent, whatever. And in this one, he's just
kind of a dick. And I kind of appreciate that.
I'm sure from Bruce Wayne's perspective. Do anything
to get to the top. Yeah. Well, it also like...
it helps contextualize, like, oh, Bruce Wayne
idolized his parents and knew that they didn't
deserve to get killed. They were trying to help
the city. It's like, okay, well, how much help
were they actually doing? Well, and the thing
is, the quote, every millionaire, their money
comes from bootleggers and prostitutes and that
kind of stuff. The idea is, especially with old
money, your money came from crime. If you look
at all the famous people of history, if you look
at some of the... best people and how they got
their millions it came off of lying cheating
and like strangling your opponents yep yep and
so it's one of those things where it is very
much so like Thomas Wayne is doing everything
he can to get to the top and then the next generation
is going to forget that and think oh Thomas Wayne
yes what a guy he put all his money into the
city yep Yep, for sure. A rich billionaire playing
politics. Yay! I don't think that's just in the
movies. Yeah, thank God. Anyways, I do, honestly,
I do recommend it. I'm just not super in love
with it like some people are, which is totally
fine. What would you give it on the rating? I
would give it three, let's say three, not three
Batmobiles, yeah, three, how about this, three
forced Bruce Wayne cameos out of five. Three,
four Spruce Wayne cameos out of five. What would
you give it? Three out of five. Solid. Three
out of five. I found the movie very well made.
The performance in it from Joaquin Phoenix is
amazing. I'm sure all the accolades are going
to be thrown his way in terms of at least nominations.
But I found, similar to you, it was just very
upsetting. And I cannot... It's hard for me to
recommend it to someone who is not already a
Batman fan. It's just like, hey, you should totally
see this take on the Joker. It's really interesting.
I just was physically so upset after watching
it because for me it was, again... credit to
the filmmaking, the violence was very grounded.
It was very real. It wasn't like Saw levels or
something like that. It wasn't Thanos throwing
a moon at Iron Man. This was people getting shot
in the face. It's just very blunt. When people
die, they just die. There's no last speech. It's
not glorified. They don't get their final soliloquy
or anything like that. The handgun violence aspect
of it is also a nod to what we see. or at least
in the news and things like that. And I think
that's a subtle, like, you know, the overlap
between mental health and gun violence. Where
is that? So at least that's what I think Todd
Phillips was going for there. And anyway, it
left me very upset. So well -made movies I can't
take away from the filmmaking. The overt homages
to Martin Scorsese, I think it's fine. A little
bit too much, I agree. It's just too much of
a thing. Everything from casting Robert De Niro
as the host of the talk show, because that's
very King of Comics. and then you have Taxi Driver
with the trash everywhere like anyway so there's
a ton of things in there overall well made movie
and I loved the performance so 3 out of 5 I think
I liked it a little better than you guys I have
a 3 .5 out of 5 I gave it Joker laughs but I
thought it was very well done All those things.
I like a good Scorsese movie, so I was able to
be like, oh, alright, no monster Scorsese, let's
do it. Let's have it happen. One of my buddies
said, and I kind of jump on this, I almost would
have liked it better if it wasn't a DC movie.
If it wasn't attached to it at all. If you take
Thomas Wayne and you change his name to Mr. Money,
it still works. Get rid of the goofiness of Mr.
Money. It's not Wayne. It's money. But it doesn't
make $800 million in the box office. It would
not. Yeah, exactly. That's agreed completely.
But if you would have taken that away, if you
would have taken away the Bruce Wayne scenes...
It would have been a nice little independent
film. A nice little indie flick. It would have
been. I mean, honestly. Yeah. And so he brought
that up. I thought it was a great point. So compliments
to you, Jason. You guys all know Jason. Jason!
Jason. Okay, so dealing with violence. Woo! Let's
talk about a movie that has no violence. I honestly
forgot you still had to go, man. Yeah. So I saw
a movie called Crimes of Fashion. Such a good
name. Great name. Crimes of Fashion is from 2004.
It is an ABC family movie. I need that button
so it says where you go. Oh, daddy. Oh, daddy.
Oh, daddy. It is from 2004. It is an ABC Family
movie because that still existed back then. Wait,
so this went straight to TV? This went straight
to TV. Oh, God. How'd you find this? I looked
it up on this app. Called YouTube? Nope, it's
not even on YouTube. Is that called the internet?
Real Good. It's called Safari. No, Real Good.
Real Good app. Okay. So you put in your services.
Yeah, I'm going to give a shout out to Real Good
app. I love it right now. So you put in what
services you have and then you can kind of drop
a filter on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB rankings.
So then you only get selections from the subscription
services you have. You can see those movies.
We set it to like 20%. This one was under that
20%. Nice. Sure sounds like it. So what I will
say to start it off is it's not as bad as the
other two that I have seen. Leo the Lion and
Yoga Hosers. I would say... No, Yoga Hosers is
still... Yoga Hosers? Yoga Hosers is still the
worst. I feel like we... Need to watch Yoga Hosers
and Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Oh, like a bad
movie standoff? I can tell you right now, Yoga
Hosers wins 10 to 1. Oh my gosh. So I will say
it's not as bad as those. That being said, it
is still bad, and it almost was more of a punishment
knowing who's in this movie. Who is in it? So
it stars Kaley Cuoco. Nice. And also has Megan
Fox. I guess she's a guest star, but really,
she's just not in it. Oh, but she's in it, though.
She's kind of in it. Okay. Yeah. Okay, all right.
Okay, okay. It's an hour and a half movie, and
I think she makes about eight minutes of screen
time. All right, there you go. She just can't
cut it. She just can't cut it. Megan Fox, darn.
I hope it works out for her. But, yeah, crimes
of fashion. I have notes on this movie. Oh, please,
bust out the notes. So, it starts off at a funeral.
As all great movies do. As all great movies do.
The Batmans. The Batmans. Duh. So, basically,
like... It starts off as a funeral. You can kind
of tell, like, it's like a wise guy funeral,
you know, like a godfather funeral. And so, like,
there's all these guys in suits that look like
your normal Italian mafia guys, mafiosos. And,
yeah, exactly. Like that, yeah. And so, you can
kind of figure out from the beginning, a crime
boss has died. Was it a crime of fashion? It
was not a crime of fashion. It was a crime of
passion. Oh! Not to pivot, but do they say the
title at all in this movie? No, they do not.
It would have made it better. So, there's FBI
agents in a flower truck listening to this funeral
to try to figure out who's going to be the next
godfather. But one thing, one of the FBI agents
is allergic to flowers. Uh -oh. So he starts
sneezing like crazy. The mafiosos realize, oh,
we must be bugged. Hey, oh, hey, ah. And they
start, like, throwing stuff at the truck. They
start, like, you know, like, making it a big
scene. So obviously the FBI guys are found out.
Yet... The mafiosos continue to talk about who's
going to be the next godfather while they know
they're being bugged. And so they figure out
it's going to be this girl who is the granddaughter
of the godfather, or so you believe. Is she at
the funeral? No, she's not. She doesn't know
this is her grandfather. She is attending fashion
university. Is that the name of this place? That
is the name of the university. Wow. And you can't
forget. Fashion University, their rivals are
Designer State. So, F -U and D -S, okay. Oh,
great. Yep. Alright, well, kudos for such a very
creative list of college names. Yeah, definitely.
You know. Yep. Yeah, really drawn into this world
that you... Oh, yeah. It seems very realized.
Yeah, right. It gets better. Well thought out.
Weird. It gets better. So, like, this girl's...
Intricately woven, if you will. Oh, man, keep
going. So this girl is a fashion designer to
me. This is not Megan Fox. No, this is Kaley
Cuoco. Okay. Yes, she is the main character,
but she dresses like trash and she gets called
out for it. Why, okay, why do you dress like
trash but go to fashion university? So she doesn't,
like, take care of her own appearance. She wants
to make sure you look good. Oh. The martyr fashionista.
The martyr fashionista, yes. And, like, she gets,
She's belittled by Megan Fox, who designs her
own clothes, wears her own line every day, looks
like 110 % every day. Well, Megan Fox has this
figured out. What the hell? Well, it gets crazy.
It gets a little wacky. Does it? Oh, no. They
stopped the movie. That's it. Nope, there's plenty
more. None of this makes sense. We're cutting
it off. Oh, I also want to point out that they
have a throwaway line that Tommy Hilfiger and
Vera Wang are alumni of Fashion University. Oh,
come on. God damn it. Okay. Sure. Fuck it. Why
not? So this guy, George, comes to Kaylee Cuoco,
who I can't remember her character name. I don't
think I ever wrote it down. It's clearly Penny.
No, it's girl Kaylee. Wow. Okay. But basically,
this guy George comes to her and just like, yeah,
you were the granddaughter of this mob boss.
You are now the mob boss. He wanted it. It was
left in his will because we are going legit.
and we think you could do wonders for us going
legit. And so the whole premise, really, is that
she has to get this rival mob boss to like her
and understand that they're going legit, because
he wants to take over. Her name is Brooke, by
the way. Her name is Brooke. Wait, I'm sorry,
whose name is Brooke? Kaylee Cuoco. Kaylee Cuoco.
Can you look up Megan Fox's name? Her name is
Candace. Candace. No last names. You don't need
last names. You don't need last names. You don't
need more than two. Fashion University names.
But Brooke, Kaylee Cuoco. Yes, it looks awesome.
Wow. Oh, my God. We've got to show the movie
poster. Oh, the movie poster will be on our Instagram
and Facebook. Oh, there you go. Perfect. Check
that out. Speaking of which, we have a lot of
people follow us on Instagram lately. Yay. A
lot of beer people. Thank you. A lot of Comfort
Inn Hartford. Like, the hotel followed us. What?
Really? Yeah. It was really random. Okay. Nice.
Comfort Inn. Thank you. Guess what the tagline
is for Crimes of Fashion. Go ahead. Ruthless
ambition is always in style. Megan Fox, by the
way, her name is listed first. She's top of the
call sheet. Top billing. She was in there for
eight minutes. I'm not even joking. Really? That's
crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. So she finds out.
So Candace finds out somehow Brooke is now the
leader of the mafia. And so she sends a message
to like a reporter so that Brooke gets expelled.
But more so it makes her popular because everybody
wants to appease her because she's a godfather.
Ah. And there's like this whole scene where they
have like a makeover scene for the mafiosos and
including how to get gunpowder out of anything
because she just knew this offhand. Oh, nice.
okay gunpowder nothing stains like gunpowder
it's something tells me she's a little bit more
qualified than she's leading on yeah right she
also was adopted or like she was given up for
adoption so she never knew her parents she never
knew her grandparents you know it's just one
of those things uh but she like requires george
for everything and george basically uh they have
been running a sweatshop kind of thing Okay.
But once it goes legit, that's what they want
to go into, is, like, designing clothes and sending
out the fashion. This is why she is the perfect
person for them. Okay. Luckily for them. Luckily
for them. A ton of sweatshops in that industry.
Including they've been doing her designs already,
so she gets to see her own designs being made.
And so, like, she wears her own designs now and
that kind of stuff. Okay. Candice has been cheating
and been using the designs of one of the sweatshop
girls. uh is there is there a sweatshop university
there's not a sweatshop university okay sweatshop
state sweatshop state sweatshop state oh it's
awful excuse me sweatshop institute of technology
come on okay shit welcome to shit um we also
accepted yeah um Also, the allergic FBI agent
goes undercover and pretends to be a guy in her
classes and doesn't know the first thing about
fashion, so she helps him out and they end up
falling in love. Oh my gosh. So he doesn't turn
her in because he loves her. Classic. That's
true love right there. We've all been there.
The rival mafia boss... buys Fashion University.
Of course you do. Because the headmaster or whatever
owes a bunch of money to the mafia because he
bets on games and stuff. He bets on the ponies!
What are you doing, headmaster? Don't give up
Fashion University! So, basically, in order to
save Fashion University, they do a, like... Mafia
-themed fashion show. No! I mean, there was only
one way this could have gone, I guess. And then,
just in case you were wondering, her grandpa
is not dead. Her grandpa was George, who faked
his death. And so he's just handing over the
business to her. So they can go legit. Wait,
so the story is a guy fakes his own death. to
turn his mafia group, which I'm assuming was
very profitable, and turn it legit, which means
he now has to start paying taxes, you are probably
going to have all these other things that you
have to pay for and be less profitable. Think
about the mafia families. What about little Johnny,
who needs to go to school at Fashion University?
How's he going to pay for that? But think about
ABC Family. And everything just is good. Where's
my girl Megan Fox? Megan Fox disappeared. She
kind of just like... She snitched on her and
then she was gone. And then she was just upset
at the fashion show because Brooke was getting
everything she wanted. I love how efficient this
script is. They don't need a character anymore.
They just... no they'll need to tie loose ends
you're adults you can figure this out she got
expelled as well because they found out she was
cheating on making her own designs oh goodness
okay so alright so we got fashion university
what was the rival school designer state Does
Designer State come into play at all? Just a
throwaway joke about Designer State. Oh, so they're
really completing the world. See Andre? Yeah,
filling out the little details. Nice, I like
it. I just like those little things. Also, their
finals, like the finals they had to take because
she was, oh, I can't be a Mafia godfather. I've
got finals. Oh, wow. How do you balance school
life with Mafia life? What? Their finals were
like, outside competitions, essentially. Like,
you had to sew a button faster than the rest
of them. Like, that. And it was, yeah. Oh, my
God. Yeah. And so I don't think they've ever
seen finals, ever. Yeah. So... Excuse me, do
you know what a final is? Yes. So, yeah. That
was Crabs of Fashion. And again, remember...
I said that's better than the other two I've
seen. Yeah, well, Leo the Lion just looked awful,
though hilarious. Leo the Lion, yeah. Unintentionally
hilarious, which is the perfect kind of hilarious
for me. I'm still hung up on the fact that they
don't say crimes of fashion in the movie. They
should. That is their biggest asset, and they
wasted it. You are guilty of a crime of fashion.
Yeah, right, and everyone went, oh! Not guilty?
Guilty? It's a fashion, not passion. It's fashion.
Yeah. Yeah. Are there any, like, real -life fashionistas?
Yeah. Like, does Tim Gunn show up at all? There
might be, but I don't believe so. Okay. Is Joan
Rivers in there? No. Joan Rivers is definitely
not in there. And Tim Gunn wasn't either. I don't
know if there's anybody else that I just wouldn't
recognize. Make it work. You know, like, if Ralph
Lauren showed up, I don't know if I would be
able to say, like, oh, Ralph Lauren, there you
are. No. But, like, Tim Gunn and Joan Rivers,
yeah, I probably would have made more. spot,
but no, I don't think there was anybody. Maybe
one of the professors was? I don't think so,
though. But yeah, it was awful. Nice! Glad you
watched it. It's funny because both those, I
mean, quote -unquote leads, if you want to call
it, go on to superstar them. I think that's what
the worst part is, is watching this knowing it
was their bottom, because they just had so much
further to go. Was this before Transformers or
not? This is before. This is before Transformers.
eight, nine was Transformers? Yeah, you're right.
Big Bang Theory was like late 2000s. I know Big
Bang Theory was after, for sure. This man also
directed, he is just right for the TV movie.
Transformers was 2007, so three years after this
movie. So this guy who directed it is all about
the TV movie life. He directed Twitches, which
starred... Teen Witches! Yeah! Oh, I remember
that shit! And Twitches, too. The Mallory. No,
was that the Mallory? What were their names?
It was TJ Mallory. Dude, you're killing it if
you know this shit. It's Tia and Tamara. Mallory.
Oh, yeah. Because then their brother, or, sorry,
yeah, their brother was TJ. I forgot about Twitches.
Yeah, Tia and Tamara. Look at that. Sister, sister.
Sister, sister. All right, sorry. We have gone
down the rabbit hole on this shit. What's your
final rating? My final rating is one improperly
named university out of five. Nice. I don't know,
man. I gave a zero to Yoga Hosers. I gave a .5
to Leo the Lion. There's the rankings, the power
rankings. That's where I sit. Very good. Thank
you for suffering through that for us. Yes, you
are quite welcome. Hopefully the next time we
are going to have a triple viewing. Yes. Bad
movie? Yes. Yes. I'm ready. I'm ready for all
of this. Are you guys ready? I'm ready. I'm so
fucking stoked. Andre is very stoked for this.
Andre's ready to watch it. Tenth time. Oh, yeah.
Andre loves this bad movie. Yeah. Get your spoons
ready. Guys, I feel like to punish Andre, we
don't let him watch. Oh, man. I'm just like,
in the next episode, I'm like, so what do you
guys think? You're just waiting, and you're just
like, what about this part? How do you have this
memorized? You're going part by part. Should
we just tell them what we're watching? Yeah,
all right. So on Instagram, I hid some clues.
Oh, did you? I did. I took a couple stabs at
them. You did take a couple stabs of them knowing
what the movie was. Oh, no. And you did not get
it. Did you not know that I had taken some stuff
out there? No, I did not. It's almost like you
don't pay attention. It's almost like I don't
pay attention to Instagram because I'm a bad
millennial. You are a bad millennial. What's
the Instagram? Oh, my God. See, at least I'm
following our Instagram. What's the name of this
podcast? Hey, let's not shit on T -Dog. This
is just his expert. This is time for the plug.
Oh, what's the Instagram? Oh, yeah, all right.
This is actually a planned out commercial. Yes,
exactly. To briefly recap, Mike posted first,
football's on a field. I guessed we are Marshall.
It is not We Are Marshall. Then he put a picture
of the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, very good. Okay,
yes. No, these are all very good. My guess was
Zodiac. Zodiac wasn't a bad movie. It wasn't.
Mike replied, it's not a bad movie. Then I replied
to that and said, all dogs go to heaven too.
That was a bad movie. That was a bad movie. The
internship was guest San Andreas. Oh, man. And
then Spoons. And then M. Clem 10 guest Toy Story
4. Yeah. Sporky. Sporky. Now, we are going to
be watching, drum roll, guys. The Room. Yay!
So the three of us are going to watch it. I'll
watch it. And T -Dog is going to watch it with
us, even though he doesn't need to suffer through
it. Right. It was bullshit. You have to watch
it. I did not hit her. I did not. The way that
Audrey talks about this movie, I feel like I
have to. I don't want to overhype it. Again,
I've had bad viewings. I really think the three
of us should watch it. It could very well be
a miserable experience. We're going to be hammered
in watching this movie. With spoons. With spoons.
What are the other props that we need for this?
Spoons are the key part. Very good. Don't worry
about it. I'll just be making a drinking game
out of it. We're going to be drinking. Oh, fantastic.
I'm going to love this. There's going to be an
Instagram live at some point that night. At least
one. Probably multiple. Cool. I'm pumped about
it. Yeah, but... We've got to get a mask for
T -Dog. We've got to get a mask for T -Dog. We'll
kind of... Do something. If we do it next week,
you can wear a V for Vendetta mask. It would
be perfect timing. Pretty good timing. Yeah.
He sounds unconvinced. I'm just imagining Tommy
Wiseau. Beware, beware, the 5th of November.
Ooh, there we go. Our best Tommy Wiseau impressions
of bad movies. Or, like, other movies. That would
actually be awesome. Oh, man. Audrey, you nailed
that. Thank you. Oh, that's hilarious. The only
problem I have with it is it should have been
remember. What? Instead of beware. Oh, fuck!
It should have been remember. That's actually
kind of perfect, though. No, because of course
you would mess up the line. Yeah, no. What's
my line? Beware. Beware, beware. This is remember.
How would he mess up this line? Beware. Perfect.
That'll do it. It's good to be back, guys. Check
us out next time after we watch The Room or maybe
something else if we can't get our schedules
aligned because that's happened before. We're
going to make it happen. See you in The Room
next time. Hopefully. That'll do it for your
host, Mikey Tech. Mitchell Clements. T -Dog.
Andre Villager. See you next time on Game for
a Movie. Bye, guys. Woo! Bye.