You know what that sound means? It's another
episode of Game for a Movie where we ask, are
you Game for a Movie? My name is Mike. I will
be your host tonight. I am talking about a movie
for Mother's Day. And I know what you're thinking
to yourself. You're probably thinking, Mike,
it is really freaking far past Mother's Day.
Yes, yes it is. I came up with this idea on Mother's
Day itself and thought, oh, I'll just get it
done that week. Never got around to it just because
of being busy with life, liberty, and the pursuit
of happiness. You know, that kind of stuff. So,
about three weeks later, I guess, I finally have
your Mother's Day episode. So the goal was simple,
to find a bad movie with something mother or
mom in the title. I think I have found a pretty
damn good example of that. But first, of course,
we've got to talk about what we are drinking.
I am on a binge of Cincinnati beers because we
were able to visit... Claire's family in Cincinnati,
and we were able to get a beer from Esoteric
Brewing. This is called Valkyrie. It is a Norwegian
IPA. If you don't know what a Norwegian IPA is,
neither do I, but it's really fucking good. That's
what I will tell you. I will also say that this
is the third drink of the night. I've been drinking
blueberry vodka lemonades because it is the summer,
and that sounds delightful. I've had two so far,
and that still probably wasn't enough to get
to this movie. I'm going to start with something,
and I've never done this before on the podcast,
but I am going to start with the rating. The
rating for this movie is a 0 out of 5. An absolute
0, red O's in the title card out of 5. This movie,
quite possibly, and by quite possibly, I'm pretty
sure it is, the worst movie I have ever seen.
If you hate yourself enough. You can either get
it from Hoopla or it's on Tubi for free. But
I'm pretty sure to have to sit through Tubi commercials
while also watching this movie might kill me.
This movie is called Stacy's Mom. Yes, I am pretty
confident it is a play on Stacy's Mom, the song
from Fountains of Wayne. I'm not going to sing
it because I don't want to owe money. And apparently
neither did this movie because Stacy's Mom by
Fountains of Wayne. was never played during this
movie. If you want a little synopsis before I
get into the actual details of it, here is the
short synopsis on IMDb. When four early teenagers
fall in love with their friend's mother, their
homework isn't the only thing that starts to
get hard. Enter prepubescent sexual angst with
Tommy, Mark, Roland, and Juan as they search
for manhood and try to land a woman that's not
only out of their league, but in a whole other
ballgame. Honestly, I think that's a pretty good
description for this movie. It was directed by
Patrick Sayre. He also wrote the screenplay with
Cole Taylor. I really don't know anything else
they might have possibly done. They are both
the blank faces on IMDb, so they're not even
good enough to have their own picture on it.
This movie is kind of exactly what you would
expect, except for the fact that the parents
guide gave sex and nudity a mild on IMDb. That's
what throws me off the most is because I would
not have been shocked in this movie if there
was a ton of boobs, ton of ass, that kind of
stuff when I was originally watching it. There's
really none. All right. Some fun facts about
this film. The one I find the most amusing is
that for. majority of the people on this film
and this is this is the obvious part this was
their first feature film however what i think
they did really well is they came in under budget
they actually stuck to the budget they said so
good for them i'll give them some credit on that
i don't know many movies that ever actually hit
budget usually if anything it's like way over
budget it balloons too much whatever that this
movie was done and completed under budget Good
for them. It's also pretty apparent why it was
under budget, though, at the same time. So here
we go. Let's talk about this movie more specifically,
getting into the details of what happens in this
movie before I tell you why this is the worst
movie I've ever seen. Stacey's Mom. So first
we get this intro song that it part sounds like
an on -Broadway cover. It really caught both
of our attentions because Claire watched some
of this with me as well. But the lyrics are,
you know you need a good woman. So that is the
name of the song as it runs over these animated
intro credits. Kind of introducing the people,
but not really. It's kind of going through them
and showing all these people. But we get pretty
much the entire song. It is a three minute intro
of this drawn on who's in this movie for Stacy's
mom. I also said this already, but this was just
a note I had that the writer also directed. So
that's a good start. Usually, I won't say this
is always because sometimes there are people
that can actually pull it off and everything
like that. But for the most part, especially
on this channel, the movies that have been written
and directed by the same person, there's usually
a reason why they're on this list. I have another
one coming out. Later that not only is written
and directed by the same person, but also stars
the same person. There's a lot of people that
I can give credit to. Alone in the Dark just
came to mind because Yuba Bull, he definitely
wrote, directed it. So a lot of these movies
that are written, directed by the same people
usually are the same quality. And sometimes,
not always, but sometimes qualify for this show.
I also think now is a good time to remind you
the qualifier for this show, at least in my opinion,
it doesn't always have to be this way, but at
least in my opinion, is under 40 % audience and
critic score because I don't think it's right
that one would be super high and one would be
super low and that would still count as a bad
movie. I usually go with things that are both
under 40 % on both sides. This one. Only has
an audience score and is 32%, just to give you
an idea of where we stand for this one. The very
beginning is a flash forward. We don't know this
in the beginning. So our characters in this movie
are the four boys, Stacy and her mom, and then
there's some teachers and some parents that kind
of are scattered throughout. So Tommy is mowing
the lawn of Stacy's house, and basically Stacy
walks out first, and we get a little bit of Tommy
monologuing. in his head you know the thought
process and everything and he's like the prettiest
girl I ever saw was Stacy and it just does a
slow motion capture of Stacy and Stacy is just
like I'll see you in the pool later and Tommy's
like yeah see you later and then he monologues
again it was just like that was until I saw Stacy's
mom who walks out Wearing nothing but like a
towel around her because she just showered. And
it does another slow motion. Guess which one's
longer? I bet you can guess because the title
of the movie isn't Stacy. It is Stacy's mom,
of course. So it flashes back to five months
earlier. Five months earlier starts with Tommy
on the phone with Mark. Mark is your stereotypical
fat kid. I say stereotypical fat kid because,
really, he's not that big compared to a lot of
other people that we see in this thing. But he
is a little bigger. In the background of the
scene, Mark is having breakfast. And in the background
of the scene, I just want it to be known that
we see Edie's. Not Wheaties. Edie's. They basically
took off the W and H off of the box. And, like,
they left the gap even. So that, I guess, they
wouldn't get sued. But yeah, that's the beginning
of Mark and his intro and the fact that his parents
offer him milk for his cereal and he's like,
nah, I'm good, and then just shoves his face
into the bowl of Edie's, I'm guessing. To juxtapose
that, we see the character of Uncle Dick. Uncle
Dick is Tommy's uncle who has been living with
them for the last six months because he lost
his job. He's kind of become like this health
nut, but he's also very hard on himself about
it. And now he just kind of torments fat people.
So like there's this fat guy like walking outside
of their house that Uncle Dick sees and he runs
out there with a burger on fire. And like. This
is five seconds. I don't know where he got this
burger from. And the fire is terrible CGI. It
looks fake as hell. And it's just like engulfing
this burger. And he's just like tormenting this
fat guy. And the fat guy starts crying only to
get Uncle Dick to blow out the burger. And then
he grabs the burger and eats it. And then he
has a heart attack and dies after a fart joke.
And I say he dies because, truthfully, He never
comes back into this movie. So he either faked
this heart attack or actually had one, is laying
on the ground, and we never see him again. So
this dude might have actually died. The next
little kid friend we see is Roland, and he is
talking to his older brother, Randall. Roland
is a black child. I just want it to be known
because this movie makes that a point. Any stereotype
that I go into is mostly because this movie makes
it that way. So Roland is worried about the fact
that he has very hairy balls. We don't know it
originally, but then he mentions about a shaver,
like a razor or whatever. And Randall, his brother's
just like, no, let me see it. I'm sure it's not
that bad. And immediately he freaks out after
seeing it and goes, it looks like you're getting
sucked off by Macy Gray down that shit. This
is the best line of the entire movie. It's the
only one that made me, like, cry laughing. Everything
else is ridiculous. It's the last two days of
summer, so Tommy now goes downstairs, and he
sees his dad, and his dad's playing Atari. He
also has his shirt unbuttoned, and the Atari
joystick is very low, and he's grunting and making
these noises while he's playing. It's obviously
a euphemism for jerking off. Apparently his dad,
his name is Richard, but that's never actually
addressed in the final cut of the movie. So Richard
owes Tommy money. The only reason this is important
is because it comes back later and is one of
the things that changes Tommy in the end. Richard
doesn't pay him and basically Tommy's just pissed
about it. Then he's talking with Mark. And they're
talking about this party that they're going to
have that essentially they're still stuck at
the kids table. And this is where we also meet
our fourth friend. Our fourth friend is Juan.
Juan is a little Mexican kid played by an actor
that definitely looks more Indian than Mexican.
And I'm pretty sure he is because other roles
include him playing Samir in 17 again. which
I'm pretty sure was an Indian role, not a Mexican
role. But, you know, take the work where you
can get it, kid. Juan is also, he's driven up
in, like, a shitbox car that's, like, barely
running that's loaded with people, and they just
kind of toss him out the window as he's, like,
on top of people. I'm not joking. Also, the closed
captioning says, as he pulls up, Mexican music.
Nothing else. Mexican music. Like I said, this
movie buys into the stereotypes insanely. Like,
completely insane stereotypes. There's a part
that I'm going to get to that every last character
introduced in this bit is a stereotype. So these
kids are all at this party. They're stuck at
the kids' table, you know, and they're kind of
like... talking and everything and not understanding
why they're at the kids table and just there's
a lot of conversation in this movie that goes
nowhere where they're just kind of talking and
it's about nothing in particular i think they
were trying to write like a real situation sometimes
but it's not actually real meanwhile they have
a new neighbor that is coming over to the party
her name is stacy Stacey is probably the most
gorgeous girl these kids have seen because they're
all kind of nerdy kids and whatever. And they
make a pact right then, right there that no woman
will ever become the pinnacle of our obsessions
to each other. They are standing pat that it
is bros before hoes forever until somebody comes
to pick Stacey up. And that is Stacey's mom.
Stacy's mom, again, it is another slow motion
introduction about Stacy's mom. And of course,
in this, she even eats a hot dog. I mean, who
doesn't love to see a hot mom eating a glizzy?
But as Claire says at this point, she goes, she's
not even attractive. And she's kind of right.
Stacy's mom is, you can find her attractive.
That's fine and everything like that. But I'll
be honest. I agree. She's not really that attractive.
Or at least in this movie, she doesn't even look
that attractive. But, you know, we're supposed
to feel like she is this demanding of attention
woman. She is Stacy's mom of the movie. After
the party, the kids go and stay in their treehouse.
You know, the four boys. One of these things
they do at their sleepovers is pixie stick inhaling.
Of course, they make it like a cocaine line.
And it needs to be said that the black kid, Roland,
the only black kid, is the one who cuts the lines.
And yeah, it just needed to be said. The other
things they do at this is they watch movies usually.
But it's not usually movies that are just for
fun. It's movies where they can find... boobies
or sex scenes or whatever, including they watched
Fatal Attraction at this particular one, which
they had on VHS. And yes, I am a nerd. I will
point it out. They had VHSs the first time they
do one of these sleepovers and they have DVDs
the rest of the times. Do they have a DVD player
and a VHS player up there? I don't know. I want
to know. And that is bugging the shit out of
me as the nerd I am. They wake up from the sleepover,
and of course, they draw attention to the fact
that two of the boys' sleeping bags are kind
of pitching a tent. The first one you see that's
revealed is Mark, who just happens to have a
soda bottle under his sleeping bag. The other
one is Tommy, and he does not know what to do,
and Mark gives him the advice to just rub it
out. That will make you feel better and that
will make it go away. So Tommy actually gets
up and stands in the corner and starts rubbing
one out. While Juan and Roland also wake up.
And Roland, who's been having the problems with
his hair, now has a beard that has grown overnight.
And the joke the entire time for this entire
movie is that Roland is just going through the
changes faster than anybody. So he gets that
beard and... borrows a razor from Richard, Tommy's
dad, to get rid of the beard in the next scene.
This was the last day of summer, so now the boys,
unfortunately, they have to go back to school.
And wouldn't you know it, let's have a little
10 -minute scene of them just introducing the
teachers and all their quirks and everything
like that. There's the science teacher who has
his wife's finger in a jar for no reason. There's
the history teacher that is 112 years old that
apparently they had to revoice. And it's the
voice of the producer that is talking for him
in that whole scene. And then there's the Asian
lady who is in charge of English. And we've got
Professor Wood, who is the sex ed teacher. Comes
across as a real creep. And finally, one of the
guys is Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz is Professor...
Sorry, he's not Professor. He's Frankie the Teach.
Joey Diaz, if you don't know who we're talking
about, he is basically a mafia actor, is what
I would call him. You've seen him before in a
mafia role. He's been in The Many Saints of Newark.
He's Big Tony in The Longest Yard, the new remake.
He's been in a ton of stuff. You've probably
seen him in something. Well, Frankie the Teach
likes to say the F -bomb at these kids a ton
and just kind of swear and call them a bunch
of different things, really. He likes to push
the envelope with things you can probably say
to students. He also, I would say, is the one
person in this movie that you might recognize.
Everybody else in this movie, I don't think there's
anybody that I really recognize at all. There's
also the music teacher who is Professor Alfred
Von Bob. Alfred Von Bob, we have seen before
in this movie, he came to the party as well to
pick up Stacy because he is dating Stacy's mom.
So the boys the entire time are kind of... mad
at alfred von bob because they're like this guy
how does he pull off a teacher how does he pull
off a hottie like this this guy really so that's
part of this movie as well this whole thing of
the rundown of the weird teachers i just feel
like the writers and the directors were thinking
like this is so relatable look at this we're
gonna run this it was 10 minutes long like it's
It's one thing if they just made it quick and
they just run through all these teachers and
everything like that. They made it so long that
none of it was funny and none of it was relatable.
Everything about it just felt like it was torture
really. Well, after the first day, Stacy is talking
with the boys. And just kind of like asking him
how the day was and everything. And she loves
school because, of course, it's Stacy. She's
a good girl. She likes to get good grades and
make her life easier in the end. She wants to
go to a good college, everything like that, even
though I'm pretty sure this is junior high is
what they said at the end of this thing. And
the boys, of course, are just agreeing with her
because they want to agree with her. And then
Stacy's mom comes to pick her up. And she has
a convertible, a white convertible. And she steps
out. and is like saying hi to the boys and everything.
She recognizes them from the party. They also
kind of went swimming at one point before the
summer was over, but it wasn't really that big
a scene, so I wasn't making a big deal of it.
But she recognizes the boys, and she knows all
their names and everything like that, knows their
personalities, you know, as a good friend mom
does. That's the thing. So a lot of this is going
to be like awkward and everything like that,
but it's not awkward from her perspective. I
think, I think she's just doing the right thing.
Like being the like parent who kind of knows
your daughter's friends and everything. I do
also kind of find it weird that Stacy just hangs
out with four boys, but you know, whatever. I
mean, that's, that's your choice, I guess. Well,
as she gets out of her car, All the boys apparently
have the same fantasy at the same time of her
just like undoing her shirt and revealing her
boobs. You don't actually see the boobs. No,
they make an American Beauty reference where
it's just like rose petals flying out at them.
The thing is, as well, the CGI on the rose petals
is bad, too, where it's just obviously like done
in. microsoft paint that's how bad it is it's
just it's blatantly obvious how bad these pedals
are they don't look real at all or anything like
that and they all are having the same fantasy
and like try to move the pedals out of the way
and then it flashes them still trying to get
the pedals out of the way but it's like real
life where stacy and stacy's mom have already
left and they're just all like trying to bat
away these pedals that aren't there anymore so
now it's at least a couple days later The boys
are all playing at Tommy's house, you know, having
a good time, everything like that. They're talking
a little bit. Stacy's mom steps out of the house
and she like waves at them, says hi boys and
like gets in her car and leaves. Tommy notices
that she left the door open and he wanting to
be this upstanding gentleman wants to close it
for her so that nobody can break into their house.
The other boys think it's a great opportunity
to sneak into. stacy mom stacy's mom's house
not even like 10 seconds in to being in the house
roland and mark are having a fight with dildos
and there's a point where they even like turn
it on they're all vibrating they rub it against
their faces and they even Like say it smells
funny. But originally they are playing dildo
lightsabers. And they do the scene from Star
Wars. Where he loses his arm. And it was actually
kind of funny. But yeah. Then they start rubbing
dildos on their face. Yeah. And they even make
a joke. That it smells funny. So it's just. You
know. Cool. Good humor. Tommy's just like we
need to get out of here. We need to find Juan.
Where is he? So they walk into her bedroom because
these dildos were in the bathroom. They walk
into the bedroom and Juan pops out of the closet
and he is wearing like four bras wrapped around
him and scares the boys. Also, Mark decides he
wants to see what it's like on the bed. So he
crawls onto the bed and does like sexual positions,
which they do like this whole scene of like they
do snapshots of him just like grinding on this
bed. If you don't feel uncomfortable yet, good
for you, because I already felt very uncomfortable
at this point. They get stuck in the house as
they hear Stacy's mom comes back and basically
hide, trying to get out of there without being
caught. And as they're hiding, Juan realizes
one of the bras is stuck on his shoe. And so
he tries to kick it off and he kicks it in the
middle of the hallway. And Stacy's mom walks
right past them. Picks up the bra, doesn't even
look either way, and then just walks upstairs
and puts it back. Just no big deal, just your
bras are everywhere, you know, as you do. So
yeah, that happens and they get out scot -free
and there's no problems because, you know, it's
the boys. They're just, boys will be boys. There's
a couple things we're getting up to in this movie,
but now seems like a good time to take a break
and give a shout out to the people that guessed
our bad movie correctly. That is Porn Stash Podcast
J. Obviously, he is part of the Porn Stash Podcast.
It is three guys who have comedic conversations
about stories from around the world and porn.
It is a two -time AVN -nominated podcast, and
it is 18 -plus, not safe for work. You can follow
them at porn stash cast, or you can follow their
separate account at porn stash, WWYD. They have
some of the best interviews. If you are into
these kinds of things, um, I will say again,
this is 18 plus, but if you do like some good
porn talk, uh, they have some great interviews
with some porn stars and people in the industry.
So be sure to check out the porn stash podcast.
You can find them at porn stash cast. Or at Pornstache,
WWYD. Thank you guys very much for playing and
getting it correct. I know you guys, Jay especially,
you have jumped on several times trying to get
it right. So I am very glad that you were able
to get it this time. So congratulations, Jay.
Listen to the Pornstache podcast wherever you
find your podcasts. So here comes the whole crux
of the movie. This is the part where everything
starts to happen. Basically, all the boys want
to try to impress Stacy's mom. And they all go
about it with different ways. So, the first way
is that Tommy goes to the sex ed teacher, whose
name is Professor Wood. And originally, I just
thought that was crazy on its own. And then he
told him to call himself Harry. So Tommy is talking
to a sex ed professor called Harry Wood. How
this movie didn't win an Oscar for writing, I
will never know. I will say that Professor Wood
gives me the creeps. And Tommy is trying to explain
to him. It's like a common misconception where
he's just kind of like, yeah, I want to impress
this girl. Oh, OK. And so you want to. you're
not using a rubber oh my god like it's it's a
complete misunderstanding every time and finally
tommy gets his point across and is just like
no i want to know how to like make a woman happy
and everything like that and professor wood instead
of you know like giving him suggestions about
taking her to a nice restaurant or something
like that you know date stuff that kind of thing
He gives Tommy a bunch of porn and porn magazines
that the boys all then in the treehouse go and
watch, of course, or read, including there's
some magazines that Juan sees that basically
he sees that he needs to change himself in order
to be the perfect ladies man. And this is the
part where I said that they had DVDs instead
of VHS. Yeah, that bugged the shit out of me
because now they're playing a DVD player. This
is also the part where I will say if you were
watching this movie because you wanted to see
boobs or something like that, you may glimpse
five seconds worth of boobs in this scene because
they have porn on and they kind of show it small
screen in the screen. You know, you may see like
five seconds of boobs if that's what you're watching
this movie for. So here's your five seconds of
boobs. Good luck. All of them have come up with
basically the same plan. They want to do something
to better themselves to make themselves stand
out. So one of the things that Mark does is Mark
goes to ask for help from Uncle Dick, who can't
help but call him Jabba the Hutt or Butterball
or all of these mean names because he's fat phobic.
Mark wants to go to Uncle Dick to ask him about
health help. He wants to start losing some weight.
He wants to get healthier and that kind of stuff.
And like, basically he breaks it down to uncle
Dick, just saying like, and like, I just dream
of holding her massive breasts and uncle Dick
can totally relate. And it's like, okay, cool.
I'll help you out. I've said at this point, the
adults in this movie are just absolutely terrible.
Tommy's dad is a piece of shit who just plays
video games all the time and won't pay him back
money that he owes him. Uncle Dick is fat phobic
and just makes fun of fat people the entire movie.
Professor Wood gave porn to children. We got
Frankie the Teach who's just swearing at these
kids, which is like the lowest worst part of
this movie. I don't get it. I don't get why these
humans or these adults are such pieces of shit.
And meanwhile, I'll also say again. There's people
that might be saying like, well, Stacy's mom
didn't like turn down any of these boys or anything
like that. I see it totally from her angle where
she's just being a supportive mom to her daughter's
friends. Like, I totally see that. So she's probably
the best adult in this while the rest of them
are just absolute garbage. But, you know, whatever.
Well, I'll say except for Von Bob. Von Bob is
kind of just like he's just doing his thing.
and being a normal person. And the boys just
hate him because, you know, he's dating Stacey's
mom. Like I said, Tommy's dad owes him money.
And basically he says to Tommy, all right, fine.
If you mow the lawn and do a good job, I will
pay you your 10 bucks back along with another
$10. And then he says $25 is a lot to a kid your
age. And I just want it to be known that's not
mathing. but whatever tommy takes that and was
like okay fine so he starts mowing the lawn and
stacy comes up to him and is saying hey tommy
do you want to come to our house and like go
swimming with me after you're done with your
lawn and he's like yeah i just need to finish
this but yeah i'll totally be over and like not
really giving her the time of day and stacy's
mom is also there like across the street and
saying like oh look at you like getting paid
to mow the lawn and everything. That's a good
business acumen. I wish that I could, uh, I'd
pay you to mow our lawn too. And Tommy goes,
yeah, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. And Stacy's
mom's like, great. Yeah, cool. So he offers to
mow their lawn as well. So he's going to mow
the lawns and then go swimming with Stacy. uh
stacy also asked him at this point if he was
going to the natty hawkins dance that they are
having um wasn't it i don't i in my old school
it wasn't sadie hawkins like isn't it sadie hawkins
dance can they not say sadie hawkins they had
to say natty hawkins dance in this movie is that
like a trademark term why why Why did they change
the name of the dance? This is a common dance
that people have. Like, could you not say homecoming?
Would you have to say, like, domain return? Like,
what is with this? When he's mowing their lawn,
we have come full circle to the beginning of
this movie. Also, we have learned that Roland's
voice is now deeper. He woke up and he has a
beard again, and his voice is deeper, which he's
talking with his brother about. And his brother
Randall has given him the advice that he needs
to get in touch with his sensitive side a little
more because he's changing and everything like
that. And he's also given him the advice because
Roland says he has eyes for this one girl, but
she won't go to the dance with him. We all know
it's Stacy's mom. And Randall has said basically
invite anybody else because then when they see
you with some other girl, they'll get jealous
and want to be with you. So the advice in this
movie so far, learn what women want by watching
porn. Lose weight because you're fat. Get in
touch with your sensitive side. Ask other women
out so they can see you with other people and
be jealous. Or do yard work all the time trying
to prove that you can do something. I don't know
because that's all Tommy is doing for this part
of the movie is he is just doing yard work. So
all these boys are doing these things. Basically,
Uncle Dick is putting Mark through the ringer
running and pushups and stuff like that, calling
him a butterball, Jabba, whatever. So that this
is all in a montage, all of this stuff happening.
So that's what Mark is doing. Roland is learning
how to cook. He's made his own garden so he can
use fresh ingredients, that kind of stuff, including
he impresses Frankie the Teach by cooking some
crawfish and sausage pasta. Yes, crawfish and
sausage pasta, you heard me correctly, which
is not in my mind trying to be a stereotype,
but being that it's this movie, I actually think
that is. And then Tommy is doing yard work around
the house to constantly be around Stacy and Stacy's
mom, of course. They all arrive at school one
day at the same time as Stacy and Stacy's mom.
And Stacy's mom is talking with all of them and
realizing like, Tommy, like, look at you. You
have so much money now. You bought your own bike.
You have your own like cell phone. You're texting
people and mowing lawns and everything like that.
I'm so proud of you for all your business acumen.
And he's, of course, like proud of himself and,
you know, trying to show off and everything like
that. Meanwhile, Mark runs in and Stacy's just
like, you're jogging. And like Stacy's mom's
Mark, good job. Like you're doing so good. Look
at you getting healthy and everything like that.
And then finally Roland comes in and he had like
brought flowers to give to Stacy's mom, the most
beautiful woman he's seen. And she's kind of
like now getting a little, okay, what? but he's
being super nice and everything but it's just
like look at you being a little gentleman roland
like this is great oh you boys are doing so well
but we haven't heard from juan in a while what
the hell could juan be doing well juan saw in
one of those magazines that girls love like bad
boys so all of a sudden you just hear more mexican
music according to closed captioning And it's
a low rider with spinning rims and bouncing and
everything like that. And it's like two guys
that are like obvious gangbangers. Like it's,
they're not hiding it. It's, it's the stereotypical
gangbangers and they let one out of the back
seat because they have to like push the chair
up and everything like that. It's a, it's one
of those, it's two doors, that kind of thing.
And Juan walks up and is yelling at people like,
yo, homes, and stuff like that. And he gets mad
at Tommy because Tommy is taking work from Juan's
dad by mowing all the lawns in the neighborhood.
Yes, that is a thing. He's mad because that.
Yep. And basically, he says something stupid
to Stacy's mom. And I don't remember exactly
what I didn't write down. And Stacy's mom's just
like, whoa, Juan. I miss the little gentleman.
Like, what are you doing? This is not okay. And
Juan realizes, like, he's screwed up and he's
going to get better. And this basically takes
him out of the Stacy's mom sweepstakes in the
boys' minds, obviously. Obviously, none of them
have a chance. We all know where this is going.
The boys, the three boys, because Juan's kind
of, like, taking time for himself. He's, like,
sitting in the bathroom all day feeling sorry
for himself. The three boys go to talk to the
sex ed professor, Professor Harry Wood, to talk
about this girl and everything like that. And
they admit that it's Stacy's mom. And Professor
Wood keeps trying to say that basically she's
a porn star. It's obvious that's what he's trying
to say, but they keep cutting him off. And they
get mad at Professor Wood and are just like,
yeah, we'll show you, dude. It's fine. We'll
show you. We got this. We don't need your help.
As they're walking away, Stacey, with two of
her friends, comes up and invites the three guys
to the dance. Obviously not Juan, because Juan's
on his own. Stacey wants to take Tommy. This
other girl takes Mark. And then another black
girl, a little black girl, takes Roland. And
her name is Latoya. I just, again... It feels
stereotypical. And that's that's the only reason
I'm making comments about this is because it's
just this basic level of writing just is terrible.
All three of these kids have like the moment
in the mirror just trying to say like, yeah,
I'll show her I'll be looking my best and everything
like that. And then there's one that was just
like, man, I got nobody. It's just so sad for
Juan. He's just the comedic relief, but it just
feels so bad for him. Well, they all go to the
dance, and there's like 20 people at this dance.
It's supposed to be the whole school, but it's
like 20 people. There's almost nobody. You recognize
everybody from the same classes, everything like
that. Frankie the Teach spikes the punch. Mark,
because he's not drinking punch because it has
too much sugar. gets some for his date who ends
up getting drunk and is like drunk talking to
him the whole time. Roland is with Latoya and
Juan is sitting at the snacks just going, Juan
is the loneliest number. It's such a stupid joke.
It's so good. And of course, somebody walks up
to Juan and is just like, hey, would you like
to dance with me? And wouldn't you know it, her
name's Maria. Yes, she is also Hispanic. Because
why not? Why not at this point? They're all having
a great time until finally the chaperones get
there. The chaperones, well, besides the teachers,
the chaperones that were late are Von Bob and
Stacy's mom. Tommy walks away from Stacy as she's
about to admit that she likes him a lot. And
Tommy... walks to Stacy's mom and asks her to
dance and like they he thinks they're having
a moment and then Roland cuts in and then Mark
cuts in and they all realize that they've just
like completely screwed it because none of them
really had a chance meanwhile Von Bob goes on
stage talk about the fact that he uh the first
class he teaches a stage fright but this is the
most nervous he's ever been and he proposes to
Roberta That is Stacy's mom's name, Roberta,
on stage. He proposed at the school dance in
front of like 20 people. I am not a woman that
has ever had to go through a proposal process,
but I'm pretty confident if you propose to me
at a school dance that you are chaperoning in
front of a bunch of junior high schoolers. I
would kick you in the dick and walk away. That's
just me. Maybe I'm wrong. I've never done it
before, so I don't know. And the boys all realize
that she says yes. And they realize, well, we're
stupid. We screwed up. All the girls have walked
away from them because they walked away from
the girls. And that's it. So they're sitting.
outside all four boys because one now is like
trying to cheer them up and he's now met this
maria so he's like living large he's happy um
the other three boys are like beside themselves
and professor wood sees them and goes guys it
looks like your hearts are broken it didn't go
how you planned don't worry i've got something
for you to make it better and he gives them a
box of porn With Stacy's mom in all of these
pornographies. Now you can see her anytime you
want. What? Why? The sex ed teacher knows that
she was in porn. And now just gave you a box
of porn with your friend's mom in it. Make this
movie make sense. Make it make sense. And then
it flashes three months later. Boys are pretending
to throw football. They're really like, oh, nice
throw, Juan. That was a great one. Great catch.
Yeah, good job. Hey, are you guys going to the
wedding? They all got invited to the wedding.
And Tommy is looking for approval to ask if Stacy
and him can go together. And all the boys are
like, yeah, that's fine. He's going to date Stacy
now, possibly. I mean, most likely, but possibly.
And that's it. That's the end of the movie. First
thing I got is these kids are douches. Like,
they really are. They all are douches. If they
just listened to anybody in this movie that wasn't
an adult, I would say, they would have been just
fine. Tommy, it was obvious that Stacy liked
you and you could have been happy, but you instead
fucked around and found out. All these guys.
I understand the idea of being in love with somebody
older than you. I do. Because we all had that
person. We all had that teacher. We all had that
whatever. But there's a difference between having
a crush on them and then realizing you'll never
get them. I can tell you right now, one of my
English teachers, I had a thing for. But I always
knew there was never a chance. And that's the
thing that I don't get from this movie is because
they know they have a chance. They're so sure
of themselves and everything like that. It never
was going to work out, boys. I'm sorry. That's
not it. I also said this movie was dedicated
to someone at the end and that just feels wrong
on some level because of how bad it was and because
of what the topic was of this. Maybe I'm the
asshole for that, but I feel like that was ridiculous
that they dedicated this movie to someone. But,
you know, whatever. That's just me. And Stacey's
mom, of course, was not played once. I'm not
shocked because of how the budget was. So there
was no Stacey's mom played in that movie at all.
The adults are all assholes. The kids are little
douchebags, like the boys at least. The girls,
I have nothing wrong with the girls. Um, I've
explained my thoughts on Stacy's mom slash Roberta.
Um, the fact that she just seems like she's trying
to be a good mom to her daughter and like getting
to know her friends and everything like that.
I understand that that makes sense somewhat.
I mean, there's some things that she did that
was just kind of like, okay, that's you're an
idiot. Like dancing with the kids. I don't get
that at all. Cause no. Um, and then. Your sex
ed teacher and the swearing and everything like
that, it just feels like lazy script writing
overall. The stereotypes in this, the generic
dialogue, the times where they just, like, the
teacher montage was ridiculous, where it was
just obvious they were killing 10 minutes, 15
minutes, whatever it was. It was just obvious.
They weren't trying to say anything new or...
like nuanced or subtle or anything like that
they were just this was in their head and they
just wanted to put it out there i don't know
that was um that was the killer of this movie
for me that was the turning point i think for
me where i could say this movie is the worst
movie i've ever seen because it was just obvious
they were trying to fill some time make this
movie at least a little longer than it was yeah
it was this one hurt this one honestly hurt um
normally there's at least something in these
bad movies where i can laugh a little bit or
something like that and there was two three lines
that were like funny but then the rest of the
time i'm literally hitting my head going what
is going on why why are we doing this So, yeah,
this is the worst movie I've ever seen. I give
you no stars and may God have mercy on your soul.
I know Mitchell would give it a Mitchell zero
because like you made a movie and that's like
really tough and everything like that. I respect
the movie making process. This wasn't it, man.
This wasn't it. Whoever let these people make
a movie. How dare you? How dare you? It was very
obvious this was the first movie for a lot of
these people on this. It was also very obvious
that they had a heading, which was, we're going
to call this Stacy's Mom based on the Fountains
of Wayne song. That's what they wanted to do.
Congratulations. I mean, you made a story based
on a song title. And I mean, it is... If you
listen to the words of the actual song, it is
basically the plot of the song. But there's so
many other ways you could have gone with it,
too, that would have been just, I guess, better
and less mean. Like... The fat phobic stuff.
I get it that we thought for a long time that
like, oh, the fat kid is hysterical. Yeah, like,
oh, fatty, that kind of stuff. This is just so
much meaner and so much worse on this. Because
he constantly like that's just his character.
That's that is Uncle Dick. And then the other
stereotypes in this movie are also ridiculous
where it's just like. What are we doing with
this? So, yeah. I give it zero, obviously. I've
made that abundantly clear. This is definitely
the worst movie I've seen. Happy Mother's Day
to everybody that... May have been a coma since
before Mother's Day because obviously I'm three
weeks late on that. But, you know, happy Mother's
Day. Father's Day is this weekend. I'm hoping
to have a more timely episode. But I want to
know from you. Reach out at GameForAMovie everywhere.
We almost lost our Instagram, but we're still
on Instagram, surprisingly, because Mike got
his page hacked. I still don't have a Facebook
right now. So, you know, that's great. Reach
out to us, Game for a Movie, on Twitter, Instagram,
anything else, threads, TikTok. I want to know
the worst movies with dad or father or even daddy.
I hate that word. God, I hate that word. Even
daddy in the title. So I think I've got a couple
nominees, but I would like to hear from you guys
as well. As I said before, my usual go -to. is
under 40 % audience and critics rating on Rotten
Tomatoes for movies. But if you have something
that is just on the edge and you think this is
a piece of shit that needs to be talked about,
I am happy to do that as well. Yeah, I've got
some real stinkers ready. But if you have...
Good suggestions. Let me know because I would
love to listen to you guys and do a Father's
Day episode on a movie with dad, daddy, father,
anything like that for Father's Day coming up
this week or next week, whatever it is. I'll
have it ready for then. Yeah. That was the Game
for a Movie podcast talking about Stacy's Mom,
the worst movie I've seen ever. Congratulations.
You got through it. I do this for you. So you
don't have to. If you'd like to put yourself
through this hell because you hate yourself or
whatever, it is free on Tubi. You can do it.
I believe in you. But I will also say, get a
good drink on before you do it. So yeah. Thank
you guys very much for tuning in to the Game
for a Movie podcast where we ask, are you game
for a movie? I will see you next time to talk
about a bad dad movie, probably. Or another movie
that I have in the tank is Poker Face starring
Russell Crowe, written by Russell Crowe and directed
by Russell Crowe. So, you know, that's another
great one as well. So see you next time on the
Game for a Movie podcast where we ask, are you
game for a movie? I've been Mike. Goodbye.