WEBVTT 00:00:02.749 --> 00:00:04.349 You know what that sound means? It's another 00:00:04.349 --> 00:00:06.769 episode of Game for a Movie where we ask, are 00:00:06.769 --> 00:00:09.029 you game for a movie? My name is Mike. I'll be 00:00:09.029 --> 00:00:11.509 your host this evening. I have another bad movie 00:00:11.509 --> 00:00:14.330 for you. I don't know how bad it really is since 00:00:14.330 --> 00:00:17.149 currently it is number one in the US on Netflix. 00:00:18.129 --> 00:00:21.789 Yes, it is a very weird statement to start with 00:00:21.789 --> 00:00:24.530 when talking about a bad movie, but it's true. 00:00:25.030 --> 00:00:27.969 Of course, we have to go into what we are drinking. 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:31.379 As you know, Claire is from Cincinnati, and she 00:00:31.379 --> 00:00:33.359 has been bringing me Cincinnati beer when she 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:35.979 goes and visits. So I have Truth from Rheingeist 00:00:35.979 --> 00:00:38.159 Brewing in Cincinnati. It's one of my favorite 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:41.000 beers out there. Highly recommend it if you can 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:44.079 get your hands on it. It's basically in the Cincinnati 00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:46.939 area, all of Ohio, as well as Kentucky for sure. 00:00:47.159 --> 00:00:49.619 And I think they have a spot in Chicago as well. 00:00:49.700 --> 00:00:53.179 So make sure if you can find it, Rheingeist Truth 00:00:53.179 --> 00:00:56.740 is what it's called. It is very good. So it is 00:00:56.740 --> 00:00:59.880 that time to jump into the bad movie talk, and 00:00:59.880 --> 00:01:02.659 of course, it's time for Mike to shit on a kid's 00:01:02.659 --> 00:01:06.159 movie. Yes, I watched 2017's Woody Woodpecker 00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:10.099 from Universal Studios. It is a 3D animated adventure, 00:01:10.340 --> 00:01:13.140 basically real human characters, but a 3D Woody 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:16.319 Woodpecker animated into the scenes and everything 00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:20.920 like that. This movie was made for Brazil, and 00:01:20.920 --> 00:01:24.230 it did have a theatrical release in Brazil. And 00:01:24.230 --> 00:01:26.510 then basically got a direct -to -video release 00:01:26.510 --> 00:01:30.010 in America and England and everywhere else, pretty 00:01:30.010 --> 00:01:32.849 much. So we'll start with the cast, and really, 00:01:32.950 --> 00:01:35.590 there's no big names out there. The only one 00:01:35.590 --> 00:01:37.510 that I think you might recognize, and that's 00:01:37.510 --> 00:01:41.170 a big might, is Eric Bauza. And not because of 00:01:41.170 --> 00:01:44.430 looks, but because of voice, he is a very famous 00:01:44.430 --> 00:01:47.420 voice actor that has been doing... All kinds 00:01:47.420 --> 00:01:50.299 of rounds. He currently is Bugs Bunny, Daffy 00:01:50.299 --> 00:01:53.260 Duck, and those iterations of Tiny Toons, Luniversity. 00:01:53.780 --> 00:01:57.859 He's been in Adventure Time, Solar Opposites, 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:01.040 Rick and Morty, The Young Jedi Adventures, Harley 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:03.900 Quinn. You know, he's been everywhere. And this 00:02:03.900 --> 00:02:06.200 is actually the second role he's taken over from 00:02:06.200 --> 00:02:08.539 Billy West. Billy West, famous for playing Fry 00:02:08.539 --> 00:02:11.159 in Futurama, one of my favorite shows. Billy 00:02:11.159 --> 00:02:15.789 was the voice of Woody Woodpecker. and also was 00:02:15.789 --> 00:02:18.310 the voice of Stimpy from the Ren and Stimpy show. 00:02:18.530 --> 00:02:21.650 Bowser took both of those, and he also voiced 00:02:21.650 --> 00:02:24.750 a seagull in the 2015 Nickelodeon animated live 00:02:24.750 --> 00:02:27.270 -action movie, the SpongeBob movie, Sponge Out 00:02:27.270 --> 00:02:30.330 of Water. So yeah, Eric Bowser may be the only 00:02:30.330 --> 00:02:32.289 name you kind of recognize. Everybody else is 00:02:32.289 --> 00:02:34.689 kind of, they've been in bit parts and stuff 00:02:34.689 --> 00:02:36.830 like that, or they've been in the background 00:02:36.830 --> 00:02:38.610 of certain things. One of them's a character 00:02:38.610 --> 00:02:41.569 that's a recurring role on Psych, for example. 00:02:41.770 --> 00:02:44.580 But for the most part, You really don't recognize 00:02:44.580 --> 00:02:47.159 anybody in this movie. Another reason why it 00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:49.180 shocked me that it was number one on Netflix 00:02:49.180 --> 00:02:51.080 in the U .S. I'm going to keep bringing that 00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:55.000 up probably because it just throws me that so 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:57.039 many people are watching this in the United States 00:02:57.039 --> 00:03:00.199 to make it number one. I don't get it. I just 00:03:00.199 --> 00:03:02.800 don't get it at all. Before we get into the storyline, 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:06.300 let's talk about this film's budget as well as 00:03:06.300 --> 00:03:08.759 how much it made at the box office. It was made 00:03:08.759 --> 00:03:11.199 on a $10 million budget, which is actually kind 00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:13.919 of low for these kind of movies. which kind of 00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:16.199 makes sense when you start hearing about some 00:03:16.199 --> 00:03:18.060 of the stuff that goes through on this movie. 00:03:18.340 --> 00:03:22.580 It grossed $15 .3 million at the box office in 00:03:22.580 --> 00:03:25.099 Brazil, and then it was a direct -to -video release 00:03:25.099 --> 00:03:28.939 in America. It has a cult following from Woody 00:03:28.939 --> 00:03:34.280 Woodpecker fans, is what this page says. I don't 00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:36.460 know how many Woody Woodpecker fans there are 00:03:36.460 --> 00:03:38.560 out there, but maybe that's what's pushing it 00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:42.469 to number one in the U .S. on Netflix. Yeah, 00:03:42.530 --> 00:03:49.310 I don't know. Even if you are a diehard Woody 00:03:49.310 --> 00:03:52.289 Woodpecker fan, there's not a whole lot to love 00:03:52.289 --> 00:03:57.289 about this one. So let's dive into the storyline 00:03:57.289 --> 00:04:00.849 details. The very beginning of the movie, Woody 00:04:00.849 --> 00:04:05.069 is asleep in his house in a tree, and he hears 00:04:05.069 --> 00:04:08.370 gunshots that get him to wake up. Basically, 00:04:08.370 --> 00:04:11.520 there's these dumb poachers. Their names are 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:18.620 Otis and Nate Grimes. They're just a consistent 00:04:18.620 --> 00:04:22.279 stereotype of dumb poachers, especially Otis. 00:04:22.279 --> 00:04:26.199 Otis is the probably younger brother and definitely 00:04:26.199 --> 00:04:28.579 the dumb one of the two of them, though Nate 00:04:28.579 --> 00:04:32.550 isn't winning any Mensa awards either. And the 00:04:32.550 --> 00:04:34.490 movie starts with a fourth wall break where Woody 00:04:34.490 --> 00:04:37.189 addresses the audience and goes, oh, poachers, 00:04:37.189 --> 00:04:41.589 time to have some fun. And his annoying little 00:04:41.589 --> 00:04:45.329 laugh gets on right off the bat. I never said 00:04:45.329 --> 00:04:47.449 I was good at impressions, folks. So if you hear 00:04:47.449 --> 00:04:52.970 me try to laugh, it may not be the best. So Woody's 00:04:52.970 --> 00:04:55.189 messing with them. He flies around. Basically, 00:04:55.189 --> 00:04:57.750 they are shooting tranquilizer darts at him because 00:04:57.750 --> 00:05:01.259 they aren't. killing poachers they are stuffing 00:05:01.259 --> 00:05:04.720 poachers they like to stuff and sell rare birds 00:05:04.720 --> 00:05:08.339 and of course woody woodpecker is a rare bird 00:05:08.339 --> 00:05:11.819 so they're shooting all these tranquilizer darts 00:05:11.819 --> 00:05:14.699 woody sits in between them they shoot and of 00:05:14.699 --> 00:05:17.519 course he flies away and they shoot each other 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:20.680 that's the baseline humor for this one right 00:05:20.680 --> 00:05:23.740 off the bat it doesn't get much better humor 00:05:23.740 --> 00:05:28.160 wise besides that Now we go to our main family. 00:05:28.220 --> 00:05:31.720 Our main family is Lance and Vanessa. They are 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:35.699 engaged to be married. And then Lance has a previous 00:05:35.699 --> 00:05:40.779 relationship with Linda and a child, Tommy, from 00:05:40.779 --> 00:05:43.560 that relationship. But right now it is just Lance 00:05:43.560 --> 00:05:45.420 and Vanessa. And more specifically, it's Lance. 00:05:45.540 --> 00:05:48.779 He just won a big case for his firm. He's a lawyer. 00:05:49.579 --> 00:05:54.240 And basically, this is a big oil company that 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:57.839 they won for. And he's so happy, so proud. Everybody's 00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:00.839 cheering him on. And his boss comes in and says, 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:03.879 you're fired. He's like, what? I won this big 00:06:03.879 --> 00:06:06.920 case. How can I possibly get fired? Well, there 00:06:06.920 --> 00:06:09.379 was a video of him bragging about big oil and 00:06:09.379 --> 00:06:12.600 saying how wildlife, there's no profit in wildlife 00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:15.540 conservation. I mean, I wouldn't say it out loud, 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:18.660 but you work for big oil. I don't think that's 00:06:18.660 --> 00:06:20.579 really a shocker that you don't believe that 00:06:20.579 --> 00:06:23.420 wildlife conservation is a big deal or profitable. 00:06:24.139 --> 00:06:26.240 You're trying to destroy wildlife so you can 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:30.519 get oil. So they're in their big fancy, it looks 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:33.120 like a penthouse almost. It's Lance and Vanessa 00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:34.720 and they're like talking about what are we going 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:37.680 to do. They have these glasses of wine, which 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:39.519 are these big glasses of wine that constantly 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:42.639 change how much the level is. I'm sure there 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:46.819 wasn't much happening to make sure that the wine 00:06:46.819 --> 00:06:48.819 levels were exactly right behind the scenes. 00:06:49.019 --> 00:06:52.420 But basically Lance comes up with this plan. 00:06:52.959 --> 00:06:56.240 His father left him some property by the Canadian 00:06:56.240 --> 00:07:00.439 border, so he wants to turn that area into a 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:03.279 country estate and basically flip it. Because 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:05.339 Vanessa is a city girl. She doesn't want to live 00:07:05.339 --> 00:07:07.480 in the country. So they're just going to build 00:07:07.480 --> 00:07:10.759 this estate and flip it and try to get this area 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:15.439 populated and make it this property destination 00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:18.730 so they can make a ton of money. So the Grimes 00:07:18.730 --> 00:07:20.769 brothers, it goes back to them, and they are 00:07:20.769 --> 00:07:22.589 on their computer, and they find out that Woody 00:07:22.589 --> 00:07:26.949 is a red -pileated woodpecker, which is endangered 00:07:26.949 --> 00:07:29.069 species. They actually think there's none left, 00:07:29.110 --> 00:07:31.269 that it's extinct, but obviously they saw Woody, 00:07:31.350 --> 00:07:36.170 so they're going, oh, this is good. The last 00:07:36.170 --> 00:07:40.389 one they saw sold for $500 ,000 on the black 00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:44.790 market, so they are definitely going to get Woody 00:07:44.790 --> 00:07:47.709 Woodpecker. Then for no reason whatsoever, it 00:07:47.709 --> 00:07:51.170 shows Woody sitting outside on the river at night, 00:07:51.290 --> 00:07:53.569 just kind of enjoying his surroundings, saying, 00:07:53.689 --> 00:07:56.790 ah, this is good to be home. And then he rips 00:07:56.790 --> 00:08:00.529 this huge burp. That's it. That's all you get 00:08:00.529 --> 00:08:04.949 from that scene. That literally is it. We go 00:08:04.949 --> 00:08:06.550 back to Lance and Vanessa's place and there's 00:08:06.550 --> 00:08:08.709 a knock on the door and it's Linda along with 00:08:08.709 --> 00:08:12.769 Tommy. Linda's dad is sick and she needs to go 00:08:12.769 --> 00:08:15.089 to Philadelphia last second to take care of him. 00:08:15.389 --> 00:08:17.129 They think it's basically going to be the end. 00:08:17.329 --> 00:08:20.149 So she thinks it's a good plan that he spends 00:08:20.149 --> 00:08:24.050 some time with his dad. And of course, Lance 00:08:24.050 --> 00:08:26.069 is just kind of like, no, this is an awful time. 00:08:26.189 --> 00:08:28.029 We're going up to the country. We're going to 00:08:28.029 --> 00:08:30.089 build this house. This is a terrible time for 00:08:30.089 --> 00:08:33.149 him to come and stay with us. And Linda's kind 00:08:33.149 --> 00:08:35.370 of forceful, but not really. Just kind of saying, 00:08:35.470 --> 00:08:37.649 you need to spend time with your son. He needs 00:08:37.649 --> 00:08:41.929 to have his dad in his life. So of course, Tommy 00:08:41.929 --> 00:08:44.610 goes with them. Let's talk about these characters. 00:08:45.080 --> 00:08:47.080 So Lance is kind of like this cold -blooded lawyer. 00:08:47.179 --> 00:08:49.519 He's going to destroy the rainforest, that kind 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:53.240 of thing. And then Vanessa is a Hispanic stereotype 00:08:53.240 --> 00:08:58.580 of a prima donna. She doesn't want to scuff up 00:08:58.580 --> 00:09:01.820 her heels while in the forest. She packs a ton 00:09:01.820 --> 00:09:06.519 of luggage. And finally, Tommy is the stereotypical 00:09:06.519 --> 00:09:08.940 kid that's constantly on his phone when dealing 00:09:08.940 --> 00:09:10.519 with his parents because he doesn't want to listen 00:09:10.519 --> 00:09:12.240 to them or anything like that. He has his headphones 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:15.190 in. And you can tell he kind of likes music because 00:09:15.190 --> 00:09:17.889 he's always tapping along to something. We also 00:09:17.889 --> 00:09:21.809 learned that Vanessa doesn't like kids. So while 00:09:21.809 --> 00:09:25.429 Tommy is drumming along, she basically loses 00:09:25.429 --> 00:09:28.210 it and goes, I need a Zanny and walks to the 00:09:28.210 --> 00:09:30.970 back. And they are driving to this area in this 00:09:30.970 --> 00:09:38.110 big RV that becomes kind of their house for the 00:09:38.110 --> 00:09:41.679 rest, for most of the movie, I'll say. We also 00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:44.159 learn a little about their characters when they 00:09:44.159 --> 00:09:48.059 finally get to the outdoors and Lance walks out. 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:52.759 It's just pristine, untouched. I can't wait to 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:56.019 bring a bulldozer here. And Tommy goes, yeah. 00:09:56.340 --> 00:09:58.940 And Lance thinks, oh, great. Like he's kind of 00:09:58.940 --> 00:10:01.580 relating with me. No, he's just got five bars. 00:10:01.659 --> 00:10:04.539 So it's great. They start unpacking their stuff 00:10:04.539 --> 00:10:08.000 and Lance is trying to set up this grill. And 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:11.730 basically Tommy is recording him. doing so because 00:10:11.730 --> 00:10:14.389 he's failing miserably at it but the recording 00:10:14.389 --> 00:10:17.289 is obviously from his phone and it has like the 00:10:17.289 --> 00:10:21.110 rec letters and the red light around it and everything 00:10:21.110 --> 00:10:24.090 like that and just kind of made me laugh that 00:10:24.090 --> 00:10:27.629 it's it's like a video camera but it's it's your 00:10:27.629 --> 00:10:31.309 phone kid and then park ranger sam walks in sam 00:10:31.309 --> 00:10:35.330 bartlett who is played by jordana largy um she 00:10:35.330 --> 00:10:39.379 has been in several Hallmark movies, lots of 00:10:39.379 --> 00:10:42.519 Christmas Hallmark movies. It seems like she's 00:10:42.519 --> 00:10:44.879 very much the like woman in charge that goes 00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:47.340 back to the country to get back with their roots 00:10:47.340 --> 00:10:49.519 and learns the love of Christmas kind of person. 00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:52.299 And you especially get that feeling later in 00:10:52.299 --> 00:10:54.500 the movie with her character, too. So it's not 00:10:54.500 --> 00:10:57.379 really a shock. But Park Ranger Sam comes up 00:10:57.379 --> 00:11:01.179 and basically she's like, oh, you're you're Lance 00:11:01.179 --> 00:11:03.759 Walters. Like your dad taught me how to fish 00:11:03.759 --> 00:11:07.529 and everything. And he's just like, yeah. He 00:11:07.529 --> 00:11:09.370 left me this land and we're going to build this 00:11:09.370 --> 00:11:11.809 house here. And she's kind of, well, you don't 00:11:11.809 --> 00:11:13.509 want to mess with the wildlife and everything, 00:11:13.710 --> 00:11:16.070 especially the birds. There's been like bird 00:11:16.070 --> 00:11:19.529 poachers and that is huge, fine and illegal. 00:11:20.429 --> 00:11:22.409 And he goes, no, it's fine. We're just going 00:11:22.409 --> 00:11:26.129 to build this house. And then she learns the 00:11:26.129 --> 00:11:29.289 plans of the house and how big this house is. 00:11:29.370 --> 00:11:30.629 And she's looking at the three of them and going, 00:11:30.710 --> 00:11:32.330 just the three of you. And he goes, no, we're 00:11:32.330 --> 00:11:33.690 not even going to live here. We're just going 00:11:33.690 --> 00:11:39.470 to flip it. She's very upset about it. She doesn't 00:11:39.470 --> 00:11:42.230 go out of her way to, like, say anything, but 00:11:42.230 --> 00:11:44.350 you can just tell she's kind of upset about it. 00:11:44.690 --> 00:11:47.490 And wouldn't you be? I mean, you are a park ranger. 00:11:47.509 --> 00:11:49.909 You're supposed to keep this place peaceful and 00:11:49.909 --> 00:11:52.909 everything like that. And though they do have 00:11:52.909 --> 00:11:56.110 the rights to the land, it kind of sucks that 00:11:56.110 --> 00:11:57.929 they're just planning on building this huge house 00:11:57.929 --> 00:12:00.629 that's also blue, by the way. I forgot about 00:12:00.629 --> 00:12:04.559 that entirely. It is completely blue. And not 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:06.720 like a light blue, like we painted our house 00:12:06.720 --> 00:12:08.500 light blue on the side or anything like that. 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:11.940 Like it is a deep royal blue, the entire house, 00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:14.740 the entirety of it. It also makes me laugh at 00:12:14.740 --> 00:12:18.200 this whole scene because he basically then fumbles 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:20.980 with the grill again. And if he wants to build 00:12:20.980 --> 00:12:24.340 this house and like this place that people can 00:12:24.340 --> 00:12:26.940 go to and everything, and he can't figure out 00:12:26.940 --> 00:12:31.480 this grill, he's going to have problems. So Lance 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:33.519 asked Tommy for help with the grill, and Tommy's 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:34.960 just like, you know what? No, I don't want to 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:38.000 help. I'm going to go on a nature walk and, like, 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:40.899 get away from my screen, Dad, that you tell me 00:12:40.899 --> 00:12:43.179 to get off of all the time. And Lance is basically 00:12:43.179 --> 00:12:46.740 like, oh, he learned how to lawyer me good. So 00:12:46.740 --> 00:12:50.120 Tommy walks off on his own. He finds his picnic 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:52.440 table, and he puts his phone up, and basically 00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:54.320 it's just, like, music playing, and he's just 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:55.960 kind of tapping along to it, and all of a sudden 00:12:55.960 --> 00:12:58.980 he hears tapping that's going along with it. 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:03.919 And he's like, looks around nothing starts going 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:07.720 again he eats a peanut butter cookie and then 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:11.779 popping out of a trash can is woody woodpecker 00:13:11.779 --> 00:13:14.659 and it becomes very obvious at this point that 00:13:14.659 --> 00:13:17.840 they definitely filmed like they didn't have 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:19.919 a stand -in for woody they don't know where they're 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:22.580 looking or anything like that it's just kind 00:13:22.580 --> 00:13:24.419 of like they're looking and then they animated 00:13:24.419 --> 00:13:28.169 it where he is kind of because there's parts 00:13:28.169 --> 00:13:29.990 where he slows down, and there's parts where 00:13:29.990 --> 00:13:32.090 he speeds up, and it's just kind of following 00:13:32.090 --> 00:13:36.990 the kid's head. But as long as he's willing to 00:13:36.990 --> 00:13:39.970 give peanut butter cookies to Woody Woodpecker, 00:13:40.110 --> 00:13:43.990 Woody's going to be his friend. He says in the 00:13:43.990 --> 00:13:46.110 beginning, he's like, I'm not going to call him 00:13:46.110 --> 00:13:49.769 friend. I just want food. And as soon as he gets 00:13:49.769 --> 00:13:51.429 all of the peanut butter cookies, he's like, 00:13:51.490 --> 00:13:53.289 I'm out of here. I'll see you at dinner, kid, 00:13:53.389 --> 00:13:58.000 and flies away. Tommy goes back. And they set 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:02.620 up the table for food. And Lance, Vanessa are 00:14:02.620 --> 00:14:05.600 eating like grapes and cheeses and stuff like 00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:08.879 that. Why did you even need the grill? If this 00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:12.000 is all you brought, like it's a charcuterie board. 00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:15.240 It's not even, you didn't cook anything. So Tommy's 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:17.100 talking about how he met this bird. That was 00:14:17.100 --> 00:14:19.299 really fun. And of course, Woody flies in and 00:14:19.299 --> 00:14:21.539 basically is going to try to eat some of everything. 00:14:22.159 --> 00:14:24.200 And he makes an obvious cut the cheese joke like, 00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:26.100 who cut the cheese? Because it looks delicious. 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:30.799 And starts eating it. And Lance is getting so 00:14:30.799 --> 00:14:33.179 frustrated because this woodpecker just flew 00:14:33.179 --> 00:14:36.159 in and started stealing your food. And so he 00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:39.879 runs into the RV to grab a broom to smack the 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:44.399 woodpecker away. And, of course, Woody is still 00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:46.539 eating the food. He finds beans. And he's like, 00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:48.899 ah, beans, beans, the musical fruit. And eats 00:14:48.899 --> 00:14:53.000 it and farts. If you like fart jokes, this movie 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.820 may have been for you. The rest, not so much. 00:14:56.100 --> 00:14:58.919 Lance comes swinging the broom and is missing 00:14:58.919 --> 00:15:01.240 and he knocks the food over and then he hits 00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:03.840 Vanessa in the face and Woody's just like, I'm 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:07.259 out of here, there's no more food. And flies 00:15:07.259 --> 00:15:09.799 away. After all this mayhem, it goes to the next 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:12.820 day and Lance is talking with George, the leader 00:15:12.820 --> 00:15:15.500 of their construction crew. Basically, he's talking 00:15:15.500 --> 00:15:18.960 about how they're going to have this ready by 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:21.539 the fall. And that Vanessa is going to design 00:15:21.539 --> 00:15:23.440 everything on the interior. And she's having 00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:25.240 her own meeting with her interior designers. 00:15:25.460 --> 00:15:29.379 And is getting ready for the interior design 00:15:29.379 --> 00:15:32.019 of this house that hasn't been built yet. George, 00:15:32.019 --> 00:15:33.919 the lead construction guy, is like, oh, if you 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:35.860 want it by fall, you know it's going to cost 00:15:35.860 --> 00:15:39.120 extra. And he goes, money is no object. Didn't 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.000 he just get fired? Like, how much money do they 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:43.820 have? They only did this in the first place because 00:15:43.820 --> 00:15:45.960 this piece of land was left to Lance in the first 00:15:45.960 --> 00:15:48.700 place. As they're getting ready to start construction 00:15:48.700 --> 00:15:51.159 and everything, Woody, of course, flies in and 00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:52.840 starts messing with them because he's like, no, 00:15:52.980 --> 00:15:55.480 I'm not letting you move in. This is not what 00:15:55.480 --> 00:15:57.440 we agreed upon. I was cool when you were camping 00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:00.759 because at least I get food. But now not happening. 00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:04.799 So he like pecks at all the construction workers 00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:07.460 and then he poops on Vanessa because, of course, 00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:09.980 he does. Vanessa gets mad, throws a rock at a 00:16:09.980 --> 00:16:13.450 truck and breaks the windshield. because she 00:16:13.450 --> 00:16:15.590 was aiming for Woody, not because she just threw 00:16:15.590 --> 00:16:18.490 it at the truck. And George, the lead construction 00:16:18.490 --> 00:16:20.389 guy, is my favorite because he's just like, don't 00:16:20.389 --> 00:16:22.169 worry about the truck. I'll just add it onto 00:16:22.169 --> 00:16:24.549 your bill. Dude knew a prophet when he could 00:16:24.549 --> 00:16:27.330 get one. It was great. While everything's happening 00:16:27.330 --> 00:16:29.269 at the construction site, Tommy decides that 00:16:29.269 --> 00:16:31.330 he's going to walk into town, which supposedly 00:16:31.330 --> 00:16:33.990 they were miles away from everything. I don't 00:16:33.990 --> 00:16:36.110 know how long this kid walked, but he walked 00:16:36.110 --> 00:16:38.909 into town and he does so. repeatedly during the 00:16:38.909 --> 00:16:42.090 movie so if he's like walking six miles a day 00:16:42.090 --> 00:16:45.509 good for him and he walks into this curio shop 00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:48.590 and there's a guitar there it's an electric guitar 00:16:48.590 --> 00:16:52.690 and he's basically strumming it and this girl 00:16:52.690 --> 00:16:56.730 named jill pops up and is kind of like hey i 00:16:56.730 --> 00:16:58.850 didn't say you could pick that up and he's like 00:16:58.850 --> 00:17:00.769 oh sorry sorry sorry and she's like i'm just 00:17:00.769 --> 00:17:02.429 messing with you you actually sound pretty good 00:17:02.429 --> 00:17:06.269 why don't you give it a whirl when he was picking 00:17:06.269 --> 00:17:09.279 at it It wasn't plugged into anything, and we 00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:11.400 never see him plug it into an amp, and it sounds 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.480 just like strings that are not plugged into an 00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:16.920 amp for an electric guitar. All of a sudden, 00:17:16.940 --> 00:17:19.420 it's plugged in, and he's ripping on this guitar, 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:24.140 which he looks terrible at it, by the way. And 00:17:24.140 --> 00:17:27.559 she's like, wow, you're really good. That's about 00:17:27.559 --> 00:17:30.400 as good as the last owner of that guitar. And 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:32.180 he's like, who was the last owner? And she goes, 00:17:32.339 --> 00:17:36.190 Bruce Springsteen. And so he's kind of like freaked 00:17:36.190 --> 00:17:38.230 out about the fact that he's playing Bruce Springsteen's 00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:40.829 guitar. But she's like, no, like you can play 00:17:40.829 --> 00:17:43.750 it and like you can have it as long as you play 00:17:43.750 --> 00:17:46.069 with our band. We're going to host or we're going 00:17:46.069 --> 00:17:48.549 to play at the Firefly Festival if we're good 00:17:48.549 --> 00:17:51.269 enough by then. And Tommy, of course, agrees. 00:17:51.430 --> 00:17:54.009 And he has the Springsteen guitar that he got 00:17:54.009 --> 00:17:57.269 for free from a curio shop that looks like it 00:17:57.269 --> 00:18:01.009 needs a little bit of love and not giving away 00:18:01.009 --> 00:18:03.859 Bruce Springsteen guitars. Flash forward to the 00:18:03.859 --> 00:18:05.660 next day of construction, I guess, because I 00:18:05.660 --> 00:18:07.960 don't really know the timeline for how long they're 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:10.099 here or anything like that. And Tommy's sitting 00:18:10.099 --> 00:18:12.319 in the RV and Lance is like, they're laying the 00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:14.220 concrete. Don't you want to watch them lay the 00:18:14.220 --> 00:18:17.039 concrete? And Tommy's like, yeah, that sounds 00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:19.339 boring as shit. I'm just going to sit here. And 00:18:19.339 --> 00:18:22.380 Lance is like mad because he won't go out and 00:18:22.380 --> 00:18:25.220 play or he won't go out and do stuff. And he 00:18:25.220 --> 00:18:28.640 wants him to like his job and like the stuff 00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:31.279 that he's doing. But Lance goes out there. Vanessa's 00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:33.019 already out there. They're laying the concrete. 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:35.980 And of course, Woody shows up and he starts messing 00:18:35.980 --> 00:18:38.420 with them, knocking construction workers into 00:18:38.420 --> 00:18:40.619 the concrete. And then he finds the controls 00:18:40.619 --> 00:18:44.259 and he's able to control the concrete pourer 00:18:44.259 --> 00:18:47.680 and move it. And Lance and Vanessa are like running 00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:50.400 away. They go into an SUV to try to hide from 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:54.059 them. And the moonroof's open. Instead of driving 00:18:54.059 --> 00:18:56.460 the truck like, you know, you should or the SUV 00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:59.890 like you should. Woody's able to have the time 00:18:59.890 --> 00:19:03.029 to put the concrete and pour it all over the 00:19:03.029 --> 00:19:06.410 SUV, including all over the people inside. So 00:19:06.410 --> 00:19:10.190 Lance and Vanessa are once again pissed. Lance 00:19:10.190 --> 00:19:12.750 takes the concrete covered SUV and goes to the 00:19:12.750 --> 00:19:15.009 park ranger. And it's just kind of, okay, you 00:19:15.009 --> 00:19:17.109 were talking about bird poaching. What can I 00:19:17.109 --> 00:19:19.930 do? I have a woodpecker problem. This is when 00:19:19.930 --> 00:19:24.109 he and park ranger Sam learn about the red pileated. 00:19:25.289 --> 00:19:28.269 and that it basically is extinct besides Woody. 00:19:29.210 --> 00:19:32.009 And we also learned that the Native Americans 00:19:32.009 --> 00:19:34.049 believe that the woodpecker is an incarnation 00:19:34.049 --> 00:19:36.609 of the god of chaos, which makes sense for why 00:19:36.609 --> 00:19:42.069 Woody is how he is. And Lance goes, so can I 00:19:42.069 --> 00:19:45.009 kill it? And Park Ranger Sam's just like, it's 00:19:45.009 --> 00:19:47.609 a $10 ,000 fine. And Lance goes, do you take 00:19:47.609 --> 00:19:49.730 credit card? Where the hell is he getting this 00:19:49.730 --> 00:19:54.589 money? So we go to the kids. It is Jill on bass, 00:19:54.869 --> 00:19:58.849 Lyle on drums. Lyle is a basic bit character 00:19:58.849 --> 00:20:01.569 in this. And Tommy, of course, on guitar and 00:20:01.569 --> 00:20:05.569 singing. They are practicing for the Firefly 00:20:05.569 --> 00:20:08.150 Festival and they are performing different songs 00:20:08.150 --> 00:20:10.470 and stuff like that. And they finish one song 00:20:10.470 --> 00:20:12.089 and they're just like, oh, wow, we sound really 00:20:12.089 --> 00:20:14.890 good. And then, of course, Woody flies in and 00:20:14.890 --> 00:20:16.809 is like, hey, I'll join you and like start pecking 00:20:16.809 --> 00:20:19.509 on like a cowbell while they're performing and 00:20:19.509 --> 00:20:22.970 singing backup and everything. And they start 00:20:22.970 --> 00:20:27.809 playing fucking Surfing Bird. Oh, my God. If 00:20:27.809 --> 00:20:31.289 this movie could have any song that would drive 00:20:31.289 --> 00:20:34.269 me over the edge more, fucking Surfing Bird had 00:20:34.269 --> 00:20:37.890 to be the pick. This, of course, leads to a montage 00:20:37.890 --> 00:20:41.029 of Woody messing with Lance, Vanessa, and the 00:20:41.029 --> 00:20:44.049 Grimes brothers in a montage just basically back 00:20:44.049 --> 00:20:47.509 and forth. We also see that he electrocuted a 00:20:47.509 --> 00:20:50.319 construction worker. So he may have killed somebody. 00:20:50.460 --> 00:20:53.579 We don't exactly know. And finally, the montage 00:20:53.579 --> 00:20:58.359 closes with he blows the fire off of the gas 00:20:58.359 --> 00:21:03.799 on the RV. Basically, Vanessa is boiling a tea 00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:06.339 kettle. So he blows the fire off, but the gas 00:21:06.339 --> 00:21:09.119 is still going. And it's like half a minute, 00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:12.279 not even. And Vanessa is just like, ah, nothing 00:21:12.279 --> 00:21:15.329 works and starts it again. And the fire. ignites 00:21:15.329 --> 00:21:18.410 and blows up the RV, including Vanessa, who's 00:21:18.410 --> 00:21:21.910 just like missing hair now. She's done. She is 00:21:21.910 --> 00:21:24.569 a city girl. She does not want to be here. So 00:21:24.569 --> 00:21:29.650 she's just kind of peace out. I'm done. And Lance 00:21:29.650 --> 00:21:31.750 is kind of like, no, no, we're, we're so close. 00:21:31.769 --> 00:21:33.630 Like we're almost finished. You get to design 00:21:33.630 --> 00:21:35.410 it and everything. And then we'll go back to 00:21:35.410 --> 00:21:37.950 the city. And she's like stroking his face and 00:21:37.950 --> 00:21:40.670 going, I fell in love with a cold, heartless 00:21:40.670 --> 00:21:44.299 courtroom killer. not this sensitive person that 00:21:44.299 --> 00:21:46.759 won't even kill this woodpecker and then she 00:21:46.759 --> 00:21:50.799 gets in a taxi and leaves Vanessa's gone that 00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:54.019 is that's it that's all she is in the movie she's 00:21:54.019 --> 00:21:56.519 completely gone and the RV is out of commission 00:21:56.519 --> 00:21:59.579 too so Vanessa leaves in the taxi she does not 00:21:59.579 --> 00:22:02.480 come back the rest of the movie the RV is out 00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:05.700 of commission Lance of course is sad Tommy is 00:22:05.700 --> 00:22:08.559 having a good time he's the only one happy and 00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:12.099 basically Tommy and Lance now are camping out 00:22:12.099 --> 00:22:14.819 under the stars. That's all they have left now. 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:18.299 They have all this money to burn on a house, 00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:20.000 but they can't even afford a tent. They're just 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:22.079 camping out in sleeping bags under the stars. 00:22:22.579 --> 00:22:24.680 So all that stuff is happening. Now feels like 00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:26.380 a really good time to take a break because we're 00:22:26.380 --> 00:22:28.579 kind of at the midpoint of the movie. It's funny 00:22:28.579 --> 00:22:30.339 because this movie was only an hour and a half, 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:32.180 and I feel like I'm going to drone on for about 00:22:32.180 --> 00:22:36.079 an hour on this movie. So it's time to announce 00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:38.880 our winners of our bad movie guessing contest 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:41.460 and give them the shout out they deserve. First 00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:44.460 off, I had one that was not on Twitter that deserves 00:22:44.460 --> 00:22:47.180 a very big shout out. My buddy Nick from work, 00:22:47.259 --> 00:22:49.640 he was able to put the pieces together and figure 00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:51.400 it out that it was the Woody Woodpecker movie. 00:22:51.539 --> 00:22:53.460 Even though he didn't know it existed, he was 00:22:53.460 --> 00:22:55.180 just like, is there a Woody Woodpecker movie? 00:22:55.380 --> 00:22:58.579 So he gets a very big shout out. Nick, congratulations. 00:22:58.700 --> 00:23:00.900 You were the first one officially that guessed 00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:03.470 it. As for the podcast that was the first to 00:23:03.470 --> 00:23:07.710 guess it, it was I Finally Watched Podcast. Basically, 00:23:07.710 --> 00:23:10.390 so many movies, so little time, two cinephile 00:23:10.390 --> 00:23:12.670 friends watch movies that at least one of them 00:23:12.670 --> 00:23:15.029 has never seen before to discuss whether it was 00:23:15.029 --> 00:23:17.289 worth the wait, if the movie holds up, and would 00:23:17.289 --> 00:23:19.470 they watch it again. They are very good friends 00:23:19.470 --> 00:23:23.190 of ours. You can find them at ifinelywatchedpodcast 00:23:23.190 --> 00:23:27.809 .com or at finallywatched on Twitter slash X 00:23:27.809 --> 00:23:29.549 slash whatever the fuck we're calling it nowadays. 00:23:30.299 --> 00:23:33.400 So I finally watched. Congratulations. You were 00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:37.059 the first winner of the podcast to name it. As 00:23:37.059 --> 00:23:39.299 well as Nick. Congratulations, buddy. I'll see 00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:42.740 you at work. So where were we? Ah, yes. Lance, 00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:45.119 Tommy camping under the stars. Vanessa no longer 00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:47.619 in the movie. RV also no longer in the movie. 00:23:48.500 --> 00:23:51.539 Lance needs to do something in order to get Vanessa 00:23:51.539 --> 00:23:54.000 back in order to get his house back on track 00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:57.119 and in order to kill the woodpecker or at least 00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:00.250 get rid of him. So Lance is now working with 00:24:00.250 --> 00:24:02.049 the Grimes brothers because they're the only 00:24:02.049 --> 00:24:05.190 pest control company in town. Of course, they're 00:24:05.190 --> 00:24:07.230 stupid and Lance thinks he's outsmarted them, 00:24:07.289 --> 00:24:10.930 which he really has because basically Nate Grimes 00:24:10.930 --> 00:24:14.670 is, oh, our rates, it's about 20 and Otis goes 00:24:14.670 --> 00:24:19.930 $500 and Lance goes, deal, $500. So he's paying 00:24:19.930 --> 00:24:24.289 them $500 in order to catch and release, he thinks, 00:24:24.430 --> 00:24:27.920 the woodpecker. Poachers, of course, have. Alternate 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:31.460 means they want to kill the woodpecker, stuff 00:24:31.460 --> 00:24:34.259 him, and sell him on the black market for huge 00:24:34.259 --> 00:24:36.819 money. So even though Nate is a little frustrated 00:24:36.819 --> 00:24:38.559 at first that they're only doing this for $500, 00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:41.599 they also are reminded that the last one went 00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:45.180 for $500 ,000. So they think they'll get a good 00:24:45.180 --> 00:24:47.839 chunk for Woody. We go back to the kids, Tommy, 00:24:47.940 --> 00:24:50.640 Jill, and Lyle. They are done with band practice, 00:24:50.680 --> 00:24:54.069 and they are going to go for a swim. And they 00:24:54.069 --> 00:24:56.650 come across this abandoned building when they're 00:24:56.650 --> 00:24:58.769 on their way to the quarry. Or at least it looks 00:24:58.769 --> 00:25:01.829 abandoned. And they're like, we're going to explore. 00:25:01.910 --> 00:25:04.289 We're going to walk in there. And they walk in. 00:25:04.390 --> 00:25:06.490 And of course, it's the poacher's place. And 00:25:06.490 --> 00:25:08.809 they see these bird feathers everywhere. And 00:25:08.809 --> 00:25:11.970 including, they see in a cage a live owl that 00:25:11.970 --> 00:25:14.349 they haven't stuffed yet. By the way, this owl 00:25:14.349 --> 00:25:16.470 never comes back. So it's safe to assume the 00:25:16.470 --> 00:25:18.809 owl was stuffed. And it's very sad if you think 00:25:18.809 --> 00:25:21.420 about it. the poachers walk in on the kids as 00:25:21.420 --> 00:25:23.279 they're walking around and thinking about releasing 00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:26.000 the owl and they're just kind of like mean talking 00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:28.400 them what are you doing here kids if we ever 00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:32.460 catch you again it's over for you that kind of 00:25:32.460 --> 00:25:36.339 stuff you know tough talking kids um so the kids 00:25:36.339 --> 00:25:39.759 run away and then it's the next day lance is 00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:41.900 meeting with the grimes brothers the grimes brothers 00:25:41.900 --> 00:25:45.559 have heat seeking tranquilizer darts electric 00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:48.880 nets and there was one more thing, but they didn't 00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:50.660 ever fire that off, so I can't really remember 00:25:50.660 --> 00:25:52.640 what it was, and I didn't write it down, so it's 00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:55.259 not important. But basically, they bought all 00:25:55.259 --> 00:25:57.420 this stuff so that they can catch the woodpecker. 00:25:57.680 --> 00:25:59.859 If you're smart like me, you know where this 00:25:59.859 --> 00:26:02.180 is going. If you're not smart like the Grimes 00:26:02.180 --> 00:26:03.980 brothers, you have no clue where this is going. 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:07.599 Woody shows up. They fire the heat -seeking tranquilizer 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:09.900 darts two at a time, so they fire two at him, 00:26:09.980 --> 00:26:12.599 and Woody takes down this chase through the woods 00:26:12.599 --> 00:26:15.559 and basically flies between the Grimes brothers. 00:26:16.269 --> 00:26:19.210 And can you imagine what happens with the tranquilizer 00:26:19.210 --> 00:26:21.829 darts? Yes, they go into the Grimes brothers. 00:26:22.069 --> 00:26:24.490 Nate goes, not again, and then they pass out. 00:26:24.829 --> 00:26:29.210 Lance is still out there, and Woody goes to the 00:26:29.210 --> 00:26:32.769 electric net firer. I don't know what else to 00:26:32.769 --> 00:26:35.289 call it, but the electric net firer. And Lance 00:26:35.289 --> 00:26:38.029 is running away, but Woody fires and gets him 00:26:38.029 --> 00:26:40.450 in a net, and it just kind of shoots this bad 00:26:40.450 --> 00:26:43.849 blue electricity, like this bad CGI electricity, 00:26:44.029 --> 00:26:50.859 and Lance is just... That kind of stuff. So Lance, 00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:53.380 once again, is just kind of defeated. He doesn't 00:26:53.380 --> 00:26:55.220 know what to do. This woodpecker's not leaving 00:26:55.220 --> 00:26:56.859 him alone. This woodpecker's not letting him 00:26:56.859 --> 00:26:59.200 build his house. He doesn't know what to do. 00:26:59.900 --> 00:27:02.400 So he talks to Park Ranger Sam and he's just 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:04.160 like, I don't know what to do. I've done this. 00:27:04.180 --> 00:27:06.680 I've done that. I've done that. Basically, Park 00:27:06.680 --> 00:27:09.019 Ranger Sam's advice is like, have you tried playing 00:27:09.019 --> 00:27:11.039 nice with him? It's like easier to catch flies 00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:14.000 with honey than it is with vinegar. And Lance 00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:18.559 is kind of, hmm. Play nice with him. I guess 00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:23.279 so. So Lance one morning walks out and is like, 00:27:23.319 --> 00:27:27.400 Woodpecker, Woodpecker, hey. And Woody kind of 00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:30.799 like is intrigued, looks at him and ready to 00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:34.119 mess with him. But he basically puts down these 00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:39.819 cookies and goes. All right, truce, you win. 00:27:39.940 --> 00:27:43.819 I'm done. I'll give you these cookies. And so. 00:27:44.380 --> 00:27:46.299 Woody comes up and starts eating the cookies 00:27:46.299 --> 00:27:48.460 and they're really, really good. Like the best 00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:50.539 cookies in the world, apparently, according to 00:27:50.539 --> 00:27:54.079 Woody. So Woody signs basically a truce with 00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:58.519 Lance saying, if you give me these cookies every 00:27:58.519 --> 00:28:02.279 day, I'll let you build your house. And Lance 00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:05.099 is, okay, sure. As long as it's these cookies, 00:28:05.259 --> 00:28:09.099 okay. So every day, it does a little montage 00:28:09.099 --> 00:28:12.019 again showing that every day. Lance gives Woody 00:28:12.019 --> 00:28:14.980 these cookies. And not only does Woody take the 00:28:14.980 --> 00:28:17.759 cookies, but he also hammers in some nails with 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:21.400 his beak when he's walking out or he'll cut out 00:28:21.400 --> 00:28:23.559 some wood and help out the construction workers. 00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:26.759 He's actually helping while getting these cookies. 00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:29.420 So everything takes a turn for the better. Like 00:28:29.420 --> 00:28:33.299 everybody's really happy. So Lance gets a call 00:28:33.299 --> 00:28:36.500 one day and it's Linda, his ex -wife, who is 00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:39.660 basically, hey, my dad's doing better. I'm ready 00:28:39.660 --> 00:28:42.509 to leave Philly. uh do you want me to come take 00:28:42.509 --> 00:28:45.630 tommy and lance kind of was just like yeah yeah 00:28:45.630 --> 00:28:50.289 yeah you know what no no i i think i think we're 00:28:50.289 --> 00:28:52.829 enjoying this we're having a good time plus tommy 00:28:52.829 --> 00:28:54.849 has this event that he's playing in a couple 00:28:54.849 --> 00:28:57.230 days why don't i just hold on to him for the 00:28:57.230 --> 00:28:59.309 rest of the summer and then when he goes back 00:28:59.309 --> 00:29:01.910 to school it's kind of nice a nice little moment 00:29:01.910 --> 00:29:05.349 there lance actually uh Tommy. You kind of get 00:29:05.349 --> 00:29:07.890 that feeling where they've kind of turned a corner, 00:29:08.029 --> 00:29:10.250 including Tommy. Tommy seems a little brighter 00:29:10.250 --> 00:29:12.349 too because his dad was willing to work with 00:29:12.349 --> 00:29:14.849 Woody. He still doesn't exactly agree with building 00:29:14.849 --> 00:29:16.829 the house, but he does help a little bit and 00:29:16.829 --> 00:29:19.430 he does understand that, hey, you're being nice 00:29:19.430 --> 00:29:22.309 to Woody. This is all that matters. Now we go 00:29:22.309 --> 00:29:26.349 to the Firefly Festival. Firefly Festival happens 00:29:26.349 --> 00:29:29.490 every year and this is the festival that Tommy's 00:29:29.490 --> 00:29:32.089 been preparing with his band for. There's also 00:29:32.089 --> 00:29:36.190 Park Ranger Sam. park ranger sam and lance kind 00:29:36.190 --> 00:29:38.970 of you know they have this little back and forth 00:29:38.970 --> 00:29:41.569 and she's kind of how did it work like being 00:29:41.569 --> 00:29:45.349 friends with woody and lance goes it really it's 00:29:45.349 --> 00:29:48.309 really working it's really good hey my son's 00:29:48.309 --> 00:29:50.390 about to play do you want to come watch with 00:29:50.390 --> 00:29:53.390 us and you just sense this chemistry unfortunately 00:29:53.390 --> 00:29:56.029 never goes anywhere but you just sense this kind 00:29:56.029 --> 00:29:58.150 of chemistry and you're like oh this this might 00:29:58.150 --> 00:30:03.420 actually have a good ending like this There also 00:30:03.420 --> 00:30:05.559 is a hot dog eating contest that Lyle takes place 00:30:05.559 --> 00:30:08.480 in, and he wins the contest, but then he feels 00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:11.440 sick to his stomach and can't perform. So the 00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:16.000 band Three Pete, is what their name is, only 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.180 has two members. Who's there to save the day? 00:30:19.299 --> 00:30:23.319 Of course, it's Woody. Woody creates these drums 00:30:23.319 --> 00:30:28.099 with pencils and cans of peaches and stuff like 00:30:28.099 --> 00:30:30.019 that, and he's able to play drums along with 00:30:30.019 --> 00:30:33.039 them and do background vocals. He's not plugged 00:30:33.039 --> 00:30:34.819 into anything, so I don't know how anybody heard 00:30:34.819 --> 00:30:36.619 anything. But they have this musical number, 00:30:36.740 --> 00:30:40.220 and I'll be completely honest, it's awful. I 00:30:40.220 --> 00:30:42.339 don't like to make fun of child actors, but it's 00:30:42.339 --> 00:30:44.640 just terrible. And it makes me think back to 00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:47.000 when my buddy and I had our own band that we 00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:48.839 made our parents listen to, which was just us 00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:51.420 with a karaoke machine. I'm sure we were terrible 00:30:51.420 --> 00:30:54.720 too. I wish someone would have told me, because 00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:56.539 then we wouldn't have made them suffer so long. 00:30:57.319 --> 00:31:00.430 But, you know, that's what kids do. you're gonna 00:31:00.430 --> 00:31:02.309 do it for your kids probably i'm gonna do it 00:31:02.309 --> 00:31:05.210 for my kids probably it's what kids it's what 00:31:05.210 --> 00:31:07.130 kids do and it's what parents do it's suffer 00:31:07.130 --> 00:31:09.849 through for your kids of course at the end the 00:31:09.849 --> 00:31:12.269 band's all happy and everything and woody says 00:31:12.269 --> 00:31:15.509 they should call this woody stock god damn these 00:31:15.509 --> 00:31:18.930 lines sometimes so everything seems happy and 00:31:18.930 --> 00:31:20.589 everything like that all of them are getting 00:31:20.589 --> 00:31:25.089 along and everything and woody catches up with 00:31:25.089 --> 00:31:30.509 lance park ranger sam tommy jill at the end and 00:31:30.509 --> 00:31:34.049 they're all congratulating tommy and then uh 00:31:34.049 --> 00:31:36.369 tommy goes woody was playing drums and lance 00:31:36.369 --> 00:31:38.809 goes wow woody here's your cookies for the day 00:31:38.809 --> 00:31:40.509 that was awesome thank you thank you for coming 00:31:40.509 --> 00:31:43.089 through and everything and woody kind of has 00:31:43.089 --> 00:31:45.309 like this change of heart where he kind of now 00:31:45.309 --> 00:31:48.130 wants them to stay and realizes he could be part 00:31:48.130 --> 00:31:52.309 of a family and so He decides he wants to do 00:31:52.309 --> 00:31:54.109 something nice, so he flies to the new house, 00:31:54.170 --> 00:31:55.970 which is pretty much built at this point. It 00:31:55.970 --> 00:31:58.150 needs some last -minute things, but it's pretty 00:31:58.150 --> 00:32:00.289 much built. And there's, like, a wood panel, 00:32:00.450 --> 00:32:05.710 and he carves this, like, sketch into it of Tommy, 00:32:05.809 --> 00:32:10.269 Lance, and Woody all together. But he also accidentally 00:32:10.269 --> 00:32:15.809 hits a wire, and it starts a fire and burns down 00:32:15.809 --> 00:32:18.930 the entire house. Lance is losing it he's like 00:32:18.930 --> 00:32:21.210 what happened what happened and this fireman's 00:32:21.210 --> 00:32:23.150 just kind of like oh it looks like you had this 00:32:23.150 --> 00:32:25.450 critter or something bite this electrical wire 00:32:25.450 --> 00:32:28.250 and it burnt down the whole house so of course 00:32:28.250 --> 00:32:30.809 Lance is now pissed he's how could I trust Woody 00:32:30.809 --> 00:32:35.509 I I hate Woody and he basically gets a chainsaw 00:32:35.509 --> 00:32:38.869 and cuts down Woody's tree and Woody is kind 00:32:38.869 --> 00:32:42.529 of like shell -shocked by falling out of the 00:32:42.529 --> 00:32:45.470 tree and so the poachers the Grimes brothers 00:32:45.470 --> 00:32:50.960 were able to tase Woody and put him in a cage. 00:32:51.259 --> 00:32:55.000 And so Lance is just kind of cool. You guys are 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:56.400 going to take him somewhere and let him loose. 00:32:56.539 --> 00:32:59.259 He's going to fly and be free elsewhere. Great. 00:32:59.660 --> 00:33:02.079 Tommy knows that they're going to kill him. They, 00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:07.160 he knows it and he's pissed. And it also makes 00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:11.519 me laugh. The cliche, because Woody is in the 00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:15.279 cage with these bars that basically he could 00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:18.059 easily fly through. It's one of those situations 00:33:18.059 --> 00:33:20.380 where it's like, you can get through that. I 00:33:20.380 --> 00:33:24.099 don't feel like you're ever in any danger. But 00:33:24.099 --> 00:33:26.339 he just doesn't. And you're just kind of, oh, 00:33:26.359 --> 00:33:29.859 my God, stop. Fly out. You can do this. And so 00:33:29.859 --> 00:33:32.539 Tommy's pissed that Lance worked with the poachers 00:33:32.539 --> 00:33:35.240 to get rid of Woody. And he realizes he's going 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.619 to kill him. And Lance goes, someday you'll understand. 00:33:37.819 --> 00:33:39.900 Because he's dealing with the shell shock of 00:33:39.900 --> 00:33:42.119 his house just burnt down that he's been working 00:33:42.119 --> 00:33:45.019 all summer on. and he thought he could trust 00:33:45.019 --> 00:33:47.400 somebody, and finally he's been, like, hurt. 00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:49.500 So he's like, someday you'll understand. And 00:33:49.500 --> 00:33:51.539 Tommy goes, oh, I understand. When something 00:33:51.539 --> 00:33:53.599 bothers you, you get rid of it. Surprised you 00:33:53.599 --> 00:33:56.380 just didn't get rid of Mom and I, too. It's super 00:33:56.380 --> 00:33:59.079 melodramatic, and it just made me laugh the way 00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:02.000 he delivered the line and everything. So Lance 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:03.859 is looking through the rubble and trying to figure 00:34:03.859 --> 00:34:06.920 out, like, where he starts next, and he kind 00:34:06.920 --> 00:34:09.059 of comes across this wood panel, and of course 00:34:09.059 --> 00:34:12.050 it's the wood panel that Woody had carved. And 00:34:12.050 --> 00:34:14.710 he looks at it and he realizes, oh no, Woody 00:34:14.710 --> 00:34:17.429 just accidentally did this. This wasn't on purpose. 00:34:17.949 --> 00:34:20.329 I want to know how that didn't burn down. Because 00:34:20.329 --> 00:34:22.510 everything else burnt down. Everything else is 00:34:22.510 --> 00:34:24.210 burnt to a crisp. Everything like that. This 00:34:24.210 --> 00:34:26.449 looks untouched. I don't understand. It was right 00:34:26.449 --> 00:34:28.730 next to the electrical wire too. It should have 00:34:28.730 --> 00:34:30.750 been the first thing to go up. But somehow, someway, 00:34:30.849 --> 00:34:33.210 this is the one thing that doesn't burn. Because, 00:34:33.289 --> 00:34:36.630 you know, plot device. Plot Moppet, as Jill would 00:34:36.630 --> 00:34:39.630 say. The Grimes brothers are back in their... 00:34:40.369 --> 00:34:42.329 cabin in the woods kind of thing i guess really 00:34:42.329 --> 00:34:45.329 it's a barn and they have woody in a cage and 00:34:45.329 --> 00:34:49.449 they basically are live streaming to this black 00:34:49.449 --> 00:34:52.409 market kind of like a home shopping network almost 00:34:52.409 --> 00:34:55.650 it's like look at this bird this is the last 00:34:55.650 --> 00:34:59.210 of its kind place your bids and it literally 00:34:59.210 --> 00:35:01.070 is like a home shopping network where they're 00:35:01.070 --> 00:35:04.409 just like doing this auction for this bird to 00:35:04.409 --> 00:35:07.960 be stuffed and sent to whoever wants it And each 00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:09.980 of the people on the black market thing are at 00:35:09.980 --> 00:35:12.380 a different location. It's obviously just a person 00:35:12.380 --> 00:35:14.960 sitting in front of a green screen or like a 00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:16.880 backdrop or something like that, like a cheesy 00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:19.920 backdrop. It's just terrible. You can tell each 00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:22.260 and every one of them just sitting in a room 00:35:22.260 --> 00:35:24.780 with a backdrop or like green screen behind them. 00:35:25.420 --> 00:35:28.860 It just looks bad. Tommy, with the help of Jill 00:35:28.860 --> 00:35:32.460 and Lyle, are going to try to save Woody. And 00:35:32.460 --> 00:35:35.639 they do a horrible job of sneaking into the barn. 00:35:36.139 --> 00:35:38.639 Because they're immediately captured by Otis 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:41.679 of both of the Grimes. Otis did this. Was able 00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:44.059 to set a trap for them. And they just so happen 00:35:44.059 --> 00:35:46.360 to have this big ass cage that they put the kids 00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:50.860 in. And it gets worse than that too. But they 00:35:50.860 --> 00:35:54.179 finish the bidding and Woody is going for $900 00:35:54.179 --> 00:35:59.019 ,000. That is what he's going for. And the Grimes 00:35:59.019 --> 00:36:00.619 brothers are so happy. They're like skipping 00:36:00.619 --> 00:36:02.940 and everything like that. And one of the lines 00:36:02.940 --> 00:36:05.610 that's officially... It's one of the best lines 00:36:05.610 --> 00:36:09.269 of this whole thing. Nate looks at the kids and 00:36:09.269 --> 00:36:12.389 goes, that's it. We're officially retiring to 00:36:12.389 --> 00:36:15.510 Ka -ching City. And Otis goes, Ka -ching City. 00:36:15.670 --> 00:36:22.030 That's in China. So bad. And it's so dumb. But 00:36:22.030 --> 00:36:25.610 it made me laugh so hard for no reason whatsoever. 00:36:26.170 --> 00:36:28.929 The kids are trapped. Woody's trapped. But the 00:36:28.929 --> 00:36:31.769 only people not trapped is Lance, who goes to 00:36:31.769 --> 00:36:35.909 Park Ranger Sam and is kind of. Hey, do you know 00:36:35.909 --> 00:36:37.670 where these poachers might live? I need to get 00:36:37.670 --> 00:36:41.030 Woody back. I made a mistake. We just need him 00:36:41.030 --> 00:36:44.909 back. So Park Ranger Sam calls the sheriff and 00:36:44.909 --> 00:36:49.550 basically is going to meet him there. So Park 00:36:49.550 --> 00:36:51.309 Ranger Sam and Lance are going to meet the sheriff 00:36:51.309 --> 00:36:59.110 there. So they go first. And basically the Grimes 00:36:59.110 --> 00:37:01.230 brothers meets them outside the cabin. So they 00:37:01.230 --> 00:37:02.869 can't see anything inside. And they're just kind 00:37:02.869 --> 00:37:06.389 of. Oh, we already got rid of Woody. We haven't 00:37:06.389 --> 00:37:08.949 seen your boy anywhere. No clue where he could 00:37:08.949 --> 00:37:13.289 be. You know, sorry we couldn't help you. So 00:37:13.289 --> 00:37:16.170 they're walking away and Park Ranger Sam steps 00:37:16.170 --> 00:37:19.230 on a candy wrapper. And one of the things she 00:37:19.230 --> 00:37:21.329 noticed at all of the poaching sites where this 00:37:21.329 --> 00:37:24.190 candy wrapper was at. So all these dead birds 00:37:24.190 --> 00:37:27.329 and everything, she realizes there's these candy 00:37:27.329 --> 00:37:29.610 wrappers. So she knows now they're the poachers. 00:37:30.119 --> 00:37:32.260 So park ranger, Sam's kind of like Lance, let's 00:37:32.260 --> 00:37:35.079 get out of here. Like these aren't, we can't 00:37:35.079 --> 00:37:36.780 find them. We'll go look for him elsewhere. We'll 00:37:36.780 --> 00:37:39.380 go look for Tommy and Lance though. A little 00:37:39.380 --> 00:37:40.980 frustrated. Cause you can kind of see like, he 00:37:40.980 --> 00:37:43.460 kind of knows what's going on that these guys 00:37:43.460 --> 00:37:46.360 have done something with Woody. He doesn't know 00:37:46.360 --> 00:37:48.059 that Tommy's there, but he knows they've done 00:37:48.059 --> 00:37:49.760 something with Woody. It's kind of like, okay, 00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:53.900 cool. We'll, we'll drive away. And so they drive 00:37:53.900 --> 00:37:57.239 up the road and Sam parks and is like, These 00:37:57.239 --> 00:37:59.260 candy wrappers, they were at all the places the 00:37:59.260 --> 00:38:01.260 poachers were. They still have Woody in there. 00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:03.820 We need to go in there. And so Lance is like, 00:38:03.900 --> 00:38:07.760 oh, okay, cool. Let's go. Lance and Sam barge 00:38:07.760 --> 00:38:11.679 into the barn and Lance is like, you put my kid 00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:14.840 in a cage and immediately is punched out by Nate. 00:38:15.380 --> 00:38:18.219 And Sam has no backup and doesn't have a gun 00:38:18.219 --> 00:38:21.179 or anything. So she's two on one. So basically 00:38:21.179 --> 00:38:24.570 they have two more. Large cages out of nowhere 00:38:24.570 --> 00:38:27.550 that Lance gets put in one. Sam gets put in another. 00:38:28.369 --> 00:38:31.030 Everyone's caged up. There's no way to win. What 00:38:31.030 --> 00:38:33.949 are you going to do? And so they're lining up 00:38:33.949 --> 00:38:37.550 this poison tranquilizer dart to shoot at Woody. 00:38:37.989 --> 00:38:40.570 And all of a sudden Lance just goes and runs 00:38:40.570 --> 00:38:44.530 at his cage and kind of moves it. And Nate goes, 00:38:44.630 --> 00:38:46.510 these are built for elephants. What do you think 00:38:46.510 --> 00:38:48.610 you're going to do? Bust out of there? And Lance 00:38:48.610 --> 00:38:50.429 goes, I don't need to bust out of there. Hits 00:38:50.429 --> 00:38:54.510 it again. and falls in front of Woody, able to 00:38:54.510 --> 00:38:57.230 get his arm through the bar, open up the cage 00:38:57.230 --> 00:39:00.670 that Woody is in by just lifting it, and Woody's 00:39:00.670 --> 00:39:04.610 able to fly out and go after the poachers. The 00:39:04.610 --> 00:39:06.469 poachers are able to close the door on Woody, 00:39:06.610 --> 00:39:12.030 and basically Woody gets his beak stuck in the 00:39:12.030 --> 00:39:14.409 door, so he's stuck for a little while. The poachers 00:39:14.409 --> 00:39:16.989 hop onto an ATV because the sheriff's outside, 00:39:17.170 --> 00:39:20.949 and they go racing out into the wilderness. Woody's 00:39:20.949 --> 00:39:23.530 able to push open the door after a while, after 00:39:23.530 --> 00:39:26.429 a struggle, and he goes chasing after them. They 00:39:26.429 --> 00:39:29.250 come across this bridge that's been closed off 00:39:29.250 --> 00:39:32.809 that can get you into Canada. And so we're almost 00:39:32.809 --> 00:39:34.630 scot -free if we can get across this bridge. 00:39:35.389 --> 00:39:37.690 And all of a sudden you just start hearing wood 00:39:37.690 --> 00:39:41.710 pecking from behind or in front or underneath. 00:39:42.250 --> 00:39:45.690 And the bridge gives out and the poachers do 00:39:45.690 --> 00:39:48.809 one of those uh -oh and fall into the river below. 00:39:49.739 --> 00:39:51.519 When they're able to get out of the river, of 00:39:51.519 --> 00:39:54.360 course, Park Ranger Sam and the sheriff and the 00:39:54.360 --> 00:39:57.039 deputies are all able to pick them up and arrest 00:39:57.039 --> 00:40:01.059 them. So the poachers are arrested. Park Ranger 00:40:01.059 --> 00:40:03.920 Sam and the sheriff are able to take them into 00:40:03.920 --> 00:40:08.739 custody. Lance, Tommy, Park Ranger Sam all have 00:40:08.739 --> 00:40:12.380 happy endings. Woody apologizes for ruining their 00:40:12.380 --> 00:40:14.400 house. He goes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. 00:40:14.599 --> 00:40:18.159 And Lance goes, it's all right, it's okay. And 00:40:18.159 --> 00:40:20.739 then it's the next day, and the construction 00:40:20.739 --> 00:40:23.159 crew's back. And you're just kind of like, what? 00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:28.000 Turns out that Lance had insurance coverage on 00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:30.739 the house, and that covered woodpecker damage. 00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:34.719 So they're able to rebuild the house. They agree 00:40:34.719 --> 00:40:36.579 they're going to build something smaller, and 00:40:36.579 --> 00:40:38.199 Lance and Tommy are going to live out there. 00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:45.880 And they also gave a birdhouse. to woody like 00:40:45.880 --> 00:40:48.679 a step like made this huge bird house so that 00:40:48.679 --> 00:40:50.880 he could have a place to live too and they all 00:40:50.880 --> 00:40:53.599 lived happily ever after because lance was able 00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:57.039 to fall asleep while woody ate some wood with 00:40:57.039 --> 00:41:01.699 his pecking end of movie so there you have it 00:41:01.699 --> 00:41:04.260 that is the number one movie on netflix in the 00:41:04.260 --> 00:41:07.980 united states woody the woodpecker i don't know 00:41:07.980 --> 00:41:11.860 what to say about this one i i just It's a kid's 00:41:11.860 --> 00:41:13.679 movie, so I don't want to shit on it too much. 00:41:13.780 --> 00:41:16.019 But at the same time, I think even kids will 00:41:16.019 --> 00:41:20.179 find this stupid. It's not a smart movie by any 00:41:20.179 --> 00:41:22.599 means. It has poop. It has fart jokes. It has 00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:26.380 burp jokes, which fine, one or two. I get it. 00:41:26.400 --> 00:41:28.000 It's a kid's movie. They're going to happen. 00:41:28.260 --> 00:41:31.539 That's what kids like is fart, poop, burp jokes. 00:41:31.739 --> 00:41:34.820 That's fine. They relied way too much on it. 00:41:34.880 --> 00:41:36.719 It was just one of those stories where you can 00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:38.880 see everything coming from a mile away except 00:41:38.880 --> 00:41:41.199 for the fact. You couldn't see that Woody was 00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:43.019 just like, oh, family. I thought he was going 00:41:43.019 --> 00:41:44.659 to get along with them by the end, but he was 00:41:44.659 --> 00:41:49.519 full on, I'm a family member now. Don't follow 00:41:49.519 --> 00:41:52.320 that at all. The poachers are just too dumb. 00:41:52.659 --> 00:41:57.920 Like, they're just way too dumb. Every step, 00:41:58.019 --> 00:42:01.440 every turn, they got outsmarted, and it's no 00:42:01.440 --> 00:42:04.440 question why. If you're sitting here wondering 00:42:04.440 --> 00:42:08.559 why this movie got released in theaters for Brazil, 00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:11.500 it's because Woody Woodpecker is still an extremely 00:42:11.500 --> 00:42:14.420 popular character in Brazil. That's why it actually 00:42:14.420 --> 00:42:16.619 was aimed at the Brazilian market in the first 00:42:16.619 --> 00:42:19.000 place. It's just funny to me, this movie, because 00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:23.019 it actually was second at the Brazilian box office 00:42:23.019 --> 00:42:26.480 the weekend it released behind Blade Runner 2049. 00:42:27.230 --> 00:42:30.170 And then it increased in its second weekend, 00:42:30.230 --> 00:42:34.889 moving into first place for $2 .1 million. $6 00:42:34.889 --> 00:42:38.070 million of the $10 million that it grossed overall 00:42:38.070 --> 00:42:41.250 was from Brazil. All the rest are Latin American 00:42:41.250 --> 00:42:43.570 countries that it was actually in box offices 00:42:43.570 --> 00:42:49.590 and everything like that. I don't get it. I just 00:42:49.590 --> 00:42:53.289 don't get it. A lot of things don't make sense 00:42:53.289 --> 00:42:56.659 in this movie to me. um not the movie itself 00:42:56.659 --> 00:43:02.260 the the stuff around it why was it in english 00:43:02.260 --> 00:43:05.639 if it was marketed towards brazil and therefore 00:43:05.639 --> 00:43:10.199 then why did it release straight to video in 00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:13.860 the u .s and finally why is it number one on 00:43:13.860 --> 00:43:16.420 netflix in the u .s right now i just don't get 00:43:16.420 --> 00:43:19.119 it i don't follow it i it makes no sense to me 00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:22.320 whatsoever because this movie is not good. And 00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:24.420 I get having kids and stuff like that. And usually 00:43:24.420 --> 00:43:27.900 kids are a big driving force of certain movies 00:43:27.900 --> 00:43:30.380 and everything, including this one, probably 00:43:30.380 --> 00:43:32.900 because it's an easy one while you're still at 00:43:32.900 --> 00:43:36.480 home, put on for the kids. Okay, fine, whatever. 00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:41.619 I just find this movie so dumb and so predictable 00:43:41.619 --> 00:43:44.400 that I don't even think kids would like it. And 00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:47.019 I'm not a kid myself, so I can't decide for them, 00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:50.329 but it just doesn't make sense. Overall, this 00:43:50.329 --> 00:43:53.309 movie is just poop, burp, fart jokes for a lot 00:43:53.309 --> 00:43:56.449 of it. And then it's just antics by a cocaine 00:43:56.449 --> 00:44:00.630 -addled woodpecker, it feels like. I don't think 00:44:00.630 --> 00:44:02.630 it's normal Woody. I think he's just on cocaine. 00:44:02.869 --> 00:44:05.010 So this is the sequel to Cocaine Bear. Who knew? 00:44:05.150 --> 00:44:08.829 Or I guess the first one because Cocaine Bear 00:44:08.829 --> 00:44:12.210 came out after it. But speaking of coming out 00:44:12.210 --> 00:44:15.170 after, they actually have already filmed a sequel 00:44:15.170 --> 00:44:17.829 to Woody Woodpecker that is supposed to release 00:44:17.829 --> 00:44:23.949 sometime this year. And I really, God, I hope 00:44:23.949 --> 00:44:27.329 not that it ever sees the light of day. It may 00:44:27.329 --> 00:44:29.769 be another straight -to -video one, but who knows? 00:44:29.829 --> 00:44:31.690 Maybe it'll take the number one spot again on 00:44:31.690 --> 00:44:38.829 Netflix. With a woodpecker, overall, I'll give 00:44:38.829 --> 00:44:43.030 it a one out of five peanut butter cookies. It 00:44:43.030 --> 00:44:47.429 wasn't the worst thing I've seen. I don't want 00:44:47.429 --> 00:44:50.880 any more of it. I definitely am happy with the 00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:54.360 amount that I got of it. It wasn't... Since it 00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:56.139 was an hour and a half, it didn't overstay its 00:44:56.139 --> 00:44:58.500 welcome. I will say that. That is the one thing 00:44:58.500 --> 00:45:02.340 it had going for it. It wasn't... I wasn't ever 00:45:02.340 --> 00:45:04.639 sitting there going, God, let this movie end. 00:45:04.940 --> 00:45:09.260 It was a quick watch for the most part. Even 00:45:09.260 --> 00:45:12.380 though that watch was ridiculous and goofy and 00:45:12.380 --> 00:45:14.800 probably had a lot of things that it didn't need. 00:45:15.559 --> 00:45:17.340 Including, there were some times where they would 00:45:17.340 --> 00:45:19.340 cut between scenes that lasted for all of 10 00:45:19.340 --> 00:45:21.280 seconds and then would cut back to the next scene 00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:23.579 and you just didn't need it. Like the one scene 00:45:23.579 --> 00:45:26.019 where Woody is just hanging out in the woods 00:45:26.019 --> 00:45:29.639 at night and just rips this huge burp. That was 00:45:29.639 --> 00:45:32.239 it. It was 10 seconds and they ripped to it and 00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:35.920 then they go to the next day for Vanessa and 00:45:35.920 --> 00:45:40.519 Lance. I also wanted to kind of know what happened 00:45:40.519 --> 00:45:42.460 to Vanessa. Why all of a sudden she's just like, 00:45:42.539 --> 00:45:44.690 I don't want to be in this movie anymore. If 00:45:44.690 --> 00:45:47.130 that's a choice by the actress or if that was 00:45:47.130 --> 00:45:49.489 just how it was scripted and she just was supposed 00:45:49.489 --> 00:45:52.489 to be. And if they dropped a love story for Park 00:45:52.489 --> 00:45:54.829 Ranger Sam and Lance because they were definitely 00:45:54.829 --> 00:45:57.469 having Hallmark Channel vibes. It was definitely 00:45:57.469 --> 00:46:00.909 small town. Hey, I want to teach you the value 00:46:00.909 --> 00:46:04.150 of wildlife. Why don't you come love me in the 00:46:04.150 --> 00:46:07.429 wildlife? You know, those kind of vibes. I definitely 00:46:07.429 --> 00:46:09.650 get that feeling, especially since Park Ranger 00:46:09.650 --> 00:46:12.349 Sam, all she's done after has basically been. 00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:14.960 Hallmark movies like Hallmark Christmas movies. 00:46:17.239 --> 00:46:19.900 So one out of five peanut butter cookies for 00:46:19.900 --> 00:46:23.380 Woody Woodpecker. That's it. I mean, that's all 00:46:23.380 --> 00:46:29.340 I got. If you guys have a good Woody the Woodpecker 00:46:29.340 --> 00:46:33.840 laugh and you want to record and send it to me, 00:46:33.920 --> 00:46:37.000 I will put it in at several points where I failed 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:40.050 miserably. I would love to hear you guys do some 00:46:40.050 --> 00:46:42.030 Woody the Woodpecker. You can find us at Game 00:46:42.030 --> 00:46:45.010 for a Movie everywhere and just send it. Send 00:46:45.010 --> 00:46:47.730 it, Chef. Send an audio file of you doing Woody 00:46:47.730 --> 00:46:49.389 the Woodpecker or your thoughts on the movie 00:46:49.389 --> 00:46:51.730 or anything like that. I'd love to get some audience 00:46:51.730 --> 00:46:54.710 response to this one, including audience response 00:46:54.710 --> 00:46:59.449 in the form of a five -star review. Every time 00:46:59.449 --> 00:47:01.030 you leave a five -star review, it makes it easier 00:47:01.030 --> 00:47:03.150 for people to find us, so we really appreciate 00:47:03.150 --> 00:47:05.849 those five -star reviews. Give us a four -star 00:47:05.849 --> 00:47:08.239 review if you only kind of like us, too. The 00:47:08.239 --> 00:47:10.260 only thing I ask is that if you don't like us, 00:47:10.340 --> 00:47:12.599 just don't leave a one -star review. That really 00:47:12.599 --> 00:47:16.260 hurts us in the indie game. If you don't like 00:47:16.260 --> 00:47:18.820 us and you want to tell us why, please feel free. 00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:21.699 Message me. I'd love to make the show better. 00:47:21.880 --> 00:47:24.019 I like listening to the audience, so let me know. 00:47:25.059 --> 00:47:27.539 So five -star review, if you could. That would 00:47:27.539 --> 00:47:30.480 be great anywhere. Spotify, Apple, wherever. 00:47:31.639 --> 00:47:33.559 Thank you guys for listening very much to me 00:47:33.559 --> 00:47:37.449 ramble on about Woody the Woodpecker. That laugh 00:47:37.449 --> 00:47:40.289 is going to haunt me in my nightmares. That is 00:47:40.289 --> 00:47:42.610 the one thing I definitely took out of this movie. 00:47:43.170 --> 00:47:45.210 And that peanut butter cookies are really good. 00:47:46.030 --> 00:47:47.909 So there you go. Woody the Woodpecker. I've been 00:47:47.909 --> 00:47:49.389 Mike, your host for a Game for a Movie podcast 00:47:49.389 --> 00:47:51.769 where we ask, are you game for a movie? We'll 00:47:51.769 --> 00:47:53.789 see you next time on Game for a Movie. Bye.