You know what that sound means? It's another
episode of Game for a Movie where we ask, are
you game for a movie? My name is Mike. I'll be
your host tonight. I am all alone again talking
about a bad movie. That's okay. Just couldn't
find the time right now. We have a lot going
on in our lives, so I get it. It's tough to get
everybody together. So it is just me tonight.
Andre and Jill will hopefully be back on the
show soon. Obviously, our last episode, we had
my buddy Jim. It's great to have him on the show
and we'll probably have him in the future as
well. But I just wanted to sit and talk to you
about a bad movie. Of course, first we got to
jump into what we are drinking. I've already
had a beer tonight, but I had a little bit of
wine left. So I have an Apothic Merlot is what
it's called. Apothic is the brand. You may have
seen them. They're almost everywhere. They have
every kind of wine it feels like. And the reason
I'm drinking a Merlot because I'm not usually
a Merlot fan is I was cooking and it recommended
a Merlot for this recipe. So I've got a Merlot.
I'll be completely honest. In the middle of summer,
a red wine, especially a Merlot, does not sound
great. But it's not bad. I'll give it to it.
If I had to drink a Merlot, maybe I'd drink this
again. I don't know. It's not terrible. But it's
also not my forte. All right, enough hearing
me be a wine snob. Let's talk bad movies. So
it may make sense that I'm drinking a red wine
because this movie made me think of the cold.
This movie is The Snowman, which is very disappointing
as a movie because I read the book by Joe Nesbo
and it was so good that I went and got another
Joe Nesbo book like immediately after. I was
ready to read them all. And then the snowman
released and it got such bad reviews that I didn't
want to give them any more of my money. I was
just like, no, you, you ruined it. And I didn't
even see it at that point. I just went by people's
words, uh, to not read any more Joe Nesbo because
of the success of the snowman movie, uh, which
I'm pulling up the rotten tomatoes in the IMDb
right now. The rotten tomatoes, um, this may
be the lowest starting ranked movie that I've
seen for this show. The critic score is a 7 %
on Rotten Tomatoes. The audience score is an
18%. Usually you don't see very often that the
critics and the audience are like this close
in everything. And I have to say, Pretty accurate
for what it is. The IMDb score is a 5 .1 out
of 10. That's interesting. So talking about The
Snowman, let's first talk about the awards it
was nominated for. Yes, it was nominated for
one award. That is the St. Louis Film Critics
Association 2017 nominee for worst film of the
year. And it did tie for second in that category.
It tied with King Arthur Legend of the Sword,
which is another one I think I have to get on
this podcast eventually. The winner of that year
was a movie I covered a few episodes ago, The
Mummy, the 2017 Mummy with Tom Cruise. For those
of you that may have missed The Snowman, though,
it is a crime mystery. It's set in Norway, and
it's set around the time of the first snowfall
of the year. Now, the beginning of this movie,
we do have a scene where it kind of gives an
origin story to our killer. We don't exactly
know it in the moment, but basically this young
kid, his uncle comes over or at least somebody
he calls uncle. And not even three minutes in,
we get a sexual assault and a physical assault.
She gets smacked around and she gets sexually
abused. Just setting the table perfectly for
what kind of movie this is. It's not your happy
-go -lucky, feel -good movie, just in case you
were wondering. And as soon as his mom was abused,
the kid who sees it runs out and makes a snowman.
I wonder if that kid's going to be the killer.
I don't know. In a movie called The Snowman,
do you think making a snowman when your mom's
been abused makes you the killer? I think so.
We get a quick credit montage and we learn that
the executive producer was Martin Scorsese. How
did he leave his name on this film is one of
the things I really want to know. Because I feel
like once you saw the finished product, it's
Scorsese. So I feel like he could have just said,
yeah, I saw the product. I no longer want to
be associated with this film. I'm just going
to scrub my name off of there. But he was the
executive producer for this film. It was directed
by Thomas Alfredson. So yeah, we have one scene
of this kid making a snowman while his mom's
being abused. And we have a credit scene where
we learn that Martin Scorsese is the executive
producer of The Snowman. I will also say one
of the cool things about the book. The Snowman
by Joe Nesbo. He makes a snowman actually very
chilling in his writing. He does a very good
job of like when you see the snowman and you
see his eyes just staring at you. It's completely
different in the movie because it really just
looks so like, meh, I'm just a snowman, meh.
So it's not a very good job in the movie of making
the snowman actually feel threatening. That brings
us to our main mystery after the opening sequence
and the opening credits where this woman is texting
her daughter, letting her know she's on her way
home. I caught a goof in this right away. Basically,
they had sent two messages back and forth, and
then there was a third message, and then it went
back to two messages, and the daughter sent another
message. It was just kind of one of those funny
things that I noticed right away. But the mom...
basically is walking towards her car and she
gets hit by a snowball and she's kind of looking
around and doesn't see where it came from so
she just kind of that's fine goes to her car
and she drives home so that kind of flashes forward
we don't know what exactly happened to the mom
yet we don't know what happened to the daughter
or the husband fiance boyfriend we don't know
really what he is but you know he's just a part
of their lives um It goes to the police office
where they're talking about these new gadgets
they have, which are basically like these gigantic
iPads, but basically you use your fingerprint
to get into it, and it actually does a fingerprint
versus, you know, how the iPad and the iPhone,
they say, oh, we got your fingerprint, and you're
not really sure how they do it. You don't really
think they have their fingerprint. This one's
actually legit. Like, it's got my fingerprint.
It can record things. You can write down notes.
All of this on one single big gigantic iPad thing.
So they're introducing that whole thing. And
we meet our detective, Harry Hull. Yes, I'm going
to laugh several times at the fact that Michael
Fassbender's character's name is Harry Hull.
I was doing it the entire time I read the book,
too. Of all the names to give a detective for
a drama mystery book, Harry Hole? Really? That's
what you come up with? We know that Harry Hole
kind of works on his own, but he meets the newer,
younger detective, Rebecca Ferguson. Her character's
name is Katrine. So Katrine and him kind of come
together. And we know they're going to work together.
We also get a flashback to nine years earlier,
and we see this other detective who we didn't
know his name at the time, but he's played by
Val Kilmer. His character's name is Rafto. That's
his last name, probably, arguably, Rafto. Everybody
just calls him Rafto whenever you see him. But
Val Kilmer is also trying to solve... this case
of the snowman. He's seen the same things where
women disappear, there's a snowman at the situation,
and so he's trying to solve it in the past nine
years before this disappearance and Harry Hole
is on the case. God damn it. I'm so immature.
I don't really care. You can laugh at me, you
can say whatever about me and how immature I
am, but Harry Hole is just hysterical. At this
point, I'm very confused with all the time jumps
and everything because we're probably about 15
minutes into the movie. We've had the origin
story for the killer. We've had the woman and
her night, but we then jumped to the next day
where the detectives find out that she's missing
and they need to go do something about it. And
then we also had a nine years back jump with
Val Kilmer. It's so confusing at this point.
Even though they want to kind of show you like
we're star studded. We have Rebecca Ferguson.
We have Michael Fassbender. We have Val Kilmer.
All these people are in this movie. Look at us.
Also not introduced yet, but they also have Chloe
Savigny and J .K. Simmons are in this movie as
well. So they do have like a pretty good cast
for this movie. And it's based on a good story.
So I just don't understand how this movie like
missed so hard. But yeah, so that's what I was
thinking at this point. I'm like, this is star
-studded, but it's just so confusing with all
these time jumps and everything like that. So
it then goes back after showing a little bit
of the nine years before and just showing that
Val Kilmer's on the case of the snowman nine
years earlier. We learn that the woman is missing.
Her scarf was found around a snowman outside.
And the little girl, like her daughter, Was like,
I didn't build that. We also learn that all the
victims so far have had children. They are married
or at least dating somebody in their lives. And
that it was snowing when they disappeared. That's
all we know so far at this point in the mystery.
We also know that Harry doesn't really drive.
He has Katrine drive him everywhere. So Katrine
drives him home. Or at least where we think he's
going is home. But really, she's driving him
to his ex's house. We learn that his ex is dating
somebody named Matthias. And then she has a son
named Oleg. Oleg is not Harry's son. She had
Oleg from another relationship. She doesn't really
know who the father is. We don't really get into
any of that. But Harry kind of is just like trying
to be better and being in Oleg's life because
he does want to kind of be like a father figure
to him. That's really all we get that he wants
to be. We really don't even see that he wants
to be with his ex again. We kind of assume that's
probably part of it, too. But truthfully, it
seems more so like he's trying to be a father
for Oleg. Trying to be a father to Oleg, he takes
Oleg to this concert that we think he's wanted
to go to for forever. But really, neither of
them seem very interested in the concert when
they're actually there. And they're there for
like all of five minutes before Harry gets a
text and is like, oh, I need to take this. I
need to take a call. And they're outside of the
concert venue. So this big important call that
he gets is that another woman has disappeared,
but she's disappeared like hours away. And so
they left the concert. So that he could be told
this. And they don't even go until the morning.
So they just like wasted those tickets. Even
though Oleg was supposedly like looking forward
to this band for forever. He apologizes to Oleg.
But also kind of says. Hey I know there's like
this father son camping trip. Why don't I go
with you as like your father figure. You know
like kind of would you be okay with that. And
Oleg. His face lights up and he's like, yeah.
And you can tell like this kid just he wants
to have a dad in the picture. And truthfully,
this is probably one of the moments that I actually
liked because I liked Oleg. I think he was a
good kid that just kind of they didn't have much
to do for him. And he's not like a main character.
He's just kind of on the side. But he seems like
a good kid. He seems like he's got a good head
on his shoulders. He understands the situation.
He understands that. His dad's not in the picture.
He understands that Matthias and Harry are both
trying to be there as like this father figure
for him. And I'm like reading into this. I'm
reading in depth to this character that's just
kind of like maybe 10 minutes of screen time
probably total in this movie. But it does kind
of feel like he did a good job. The actor for
that was Michael Yates. Never heard of him before.
I mean, he's got to be a young actor, but he's
been two movies that are known. And one was a
short. So, you know, this was his big movie,
I guess. But he was he was pretty good in it
for a child actor is what I'll say. And like
child actor, he's probably 16, 17 at this point.
So the call was a woman's disappearance, but
it was like from a town really far away that
they really don't have a jurisdiction over. But
a snowman was found there so they can continue
their investigation. So they basically say, OK,
we'll wait until the morning to drive there because
it's so far away. And then it gives a little
more about Rafto. Or Val Kilmer and how he's
kind of like losing his mind about this case.
He's getting a little more, you know, he's drinking
a little more. He's getting a little more agitated
about everything. You know, that kind of stuff.
And Val Kilmer's scenes are in like three minute
bursts. So I think they want you to feel bad
for him. But at the same time, it's like a three
minute burst. I don't care about his character
at all. and I don't have any understanding why
they're showing this. It made sense at the end,
but even then, it's just weak sauce. So after
that scene, just kind of showing that he's losing
it a little bit, that he's starting to drink
a little more, it goes back to the present, and
Harry Hole... drinking game every time i say
harry hole and i laugh uh you need a drink uh
harry hole and katrine are driving to this woman's
house to see if there's any clues for where she
may have disappeared to they get to the house
and it's like abundantly clear that somebody
was there um the door was open the lights are
on the tv's on you know it's just kind of okay
maybe there was a struggle they start thinking
and maybe there was she was Rushed out of the
house quickly or something like that. But basically,
she's in the shed. She cut a head off a chicken.
She's, like, listening to music so she didn't
hear them. So she's startled when they, like,
finally get her attention. And they're kind of,
hey, do you know this girl Sylvia? Like, we got
a report from her ex -boyfriend that she went
missing. and she's like um i'm sylvia i'm not
missing and so they were just like oh okay cool
great sorry about that we walked through your
house like we didn't touch anything we just walked
through so i just wanted to let you know your
tv's on that kind of stuff and they turned the
music off um and so great they're all that's
all fine and dandy and then we see sylvia talking
To what we assume is her ex -boyfriend going,
really? You called me missing? Like you're getting
the police involved and everything like that?
Don't do that. I told you this is over. We're
done. Everything like that. But while she's on
the phone, she doesn't notice the shadowy figure
that sneaks into the shed behind her. And then
Harry and Katrine get a call. that she's declared
missing again i don't know how far they must
have been but it was like daytime and then all
of a sudden it's just nighttime like it and probably
early daytime it's not like they were gone for
forever by the time she actually went missing
again so by the time they get there it's nighttime
um in the middle of like this hole That's in
the shed. And I don't know what it's for. I think
it's like a, it may have been like a dried up
well or something like that. I don't know. It's
just a very deep hole. Not a hairy hole, but
a hole. God damn it. I'm never going to stop
laughing at this. Why? In the middle of this
hole down at the bottom is a snowman. But instead
of a snowman head. It's her head that's been
chopped off and put on top of it. So on this
present timeline, we have one girl missing. We
have one woman definitely dead. So now feels
like a good time to take a break in between.
And our break normally is a promo for another
podcast friend of ours. Mike told us that his
podcast promo is a little outdated, so he didn't
really want to play it, and that's totally okay.
But our friend that gets the bad movie right
is at Tencent Takes. It's Mike and Jessica, a
podcast looking at comics history, pop culture,
and how the two connect. Also, swears. So we
love them dearly. They actually are really good
friends of ours. Truthfully, it is an honor to
be able to shout them out on this episode. Mike
got it right. He was the first one to guess the
snowman as our bad movie. So thank you, Mike,
for playing along. Mike and Jessica, please check
them out. Ten cent takes. I literally cannot
say enough about their podcast because it's an
amazing podcast and even better friends. So please
check them out. Ten cent takes. Highly recommend
it. You will learn a ton from Mike and Jessica.
Comic history, pop culture, swears. What more
could you want from this? And speaking of swears,
fuck yeah, we're in the second half of The Snowman.
So we have one lady missing, one lady dead. What
else could possibly happen that Harry Hole and
Katrine could find out? Plus, do we learn more
about what happened to Val Kilmer? Those questions
and more are going to be answered right now.
So they do a little digging and Katrine finds
out that both women, the one that disappeared
and the one that's been murdered, are patients
of the same doctor. And more specifically, this
doctor is kind of like a fertility expert or
abortion expert or something like that. So basically,
the detectives learn that the doctor, whose name
is Vetlesen, is going to be at this gala. The
gala is being hosted by J .K. Simmons' character,
which is Arva Stope. It's a very Scandinavian
name, and so if I got that wrong, I don't mean
to get that wrong on purpose. Basically, he's
trying to bring these winter games to Norway.
Not the Olympics. I can't remember the exact
name, but these winter games. So Arva Stolp,
better known as J .K. Simmons, because I'm just
going to call him J .K. Simmons, is hosting this
gala. Vetlesen arrives and is bringing this woman
with him. And so as J .K. Simmons is giving this
big speech about how he's going to bring the
games to Norway, Vetlison shows this woman to
J .K. Simmons. And we learn that he is a big
sleazeball pretty much. Katrine is able to infiltrate
their secret meeting and take a picture or take
a video of basically J .K. Simmons and Vetlison
and this woman. Vetlison shows like... This woman's
tits to J .K. Simmons and J .K. Simmons is like,
why did you bring her tonight? And he takes a
picture with his phone and then walks away like
you're you're an idiot. Don't get her out of
here. And so Vetlison leaves with the woman,
although the woman leads ahead because she's
very. I mean, she's very embarrassed, wouldn't
you be? You just got basically. This doctor just
grabbed your shirt, showed him your tits, and
was like, okay, cool, I'm going to give you to
him pretty much. Completely skeevy and everything
like that. The hard part I have with this, and
there's a lot, don't get me wrong, but the hardest
part I have with this is the fact that this really
doesn't come into play anywhere else. I think
this was just put in there. To make J .K. Simmons
seem like he's the bad guy. Spoiler alert. He's
not the killer. And I think this is just a huge
red herring. That they did in one scene. To be
like. Yeah it could be J .K. Simmons. It could
be Vetlison. We're going to make it seem like.
Both of these men hate women. And so. It's really
hard in this scene. Because. It's obvious. That
they're trying to make them seem like suspects.
Like it's very obvious. And so immediately. And
that's probably what this movie does so poorly.
Is immediately I'm going. Okay cool. They just
make them seem like suspects. Because they're
suspects. But they're not. Like neither of these
two are the suspect. I don't think. Maybe I'm
wrong. But I fully got from that one scene. that
neither of these two are the killer they just
want to make them seem more suspecty back to
the police station katrine and harry are working
on their leads and everything like that and katrine's
gonna call it a night and harry basically breaks
into katrine's file folders and takes some information
including that there was more information in
bergen Bergen's a town that's like a two hour
train ride away and they have no jurisdiction,
but he's just going to try to get more information.
So instead of telling Katrine, he just kind of
leaves on a train to Bergen. And wouldn't you
know it also on this train is Matthias, the boyfriend
of Harry's ex. Matthias is like, oh, cool. Like,
what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed
to be on that camping trip with Oleg? and harry
goes fuck and like i'm just i'm sitting there
like he's just a shit dad he doesn't remember
anything or anything like that um matthias calls
olig and is basically like hey um it's totally
my fault harry called me yesterday and said he
wasn't he was feeling under the weather and he's
not going to be able to make it i i'd completely
spaced i wasn't able to tell you and so like
olig Doesn't go on the trip anymore, but is just
kind of like, oh, okay, so Matthias is a dick.
Harry still might be a good father figure. And
I was like, that's actually really cool. Like,
this guy, he's around your ex constantly. He's
around this boy that's your ex's son that you're
kind of trying to be a father figure to. And
you take the heat to kind of make him look good.
I don't get it. It doesn't make sense to me.
Why would you do that? But it's at the same time,
I'm just sitting there going, all right, Matthias,
cool. Good for you. Matthias was on the train.
He's going to a conference. He is a plastic surgeon.
And so he's going to a conference. And it kind
of at this point shows you some scenics of Norway.
And I included a note that besides the snow.
I really want to see Norway. I think they did
a really good job in this movie of selling you
on Norway. Everything about it is just absolutely
gorgeous. The scenics they took, and mind you,
this is still with the snow, which I'm not a
huge fan of snow. Just seeing all these scenics
that they took with it and everything, it is
a gorgeous place. And I really kind of want to
go to Norway now because of this movie. It kind
of uses those scenics to transition again to
nine years earlier, and we get the end result
of what happened to Val Kilmer's character. Val
Kilmer, basically, we find out that he's suicidal
about this, or at least he's a little mentally
unhinged where he's walked out on this roof balcony.
And if this cop doesn't come talk to him, we're
not 100 % sure that he might not just jump off
the roof. So we kind of learn that he's kind
of at wit's end because of this killer and everything.
And he's not getting any closer. And then we
learn that Val Kilmer killed himself. Shot himself
with a shotgun in the face. Blew off half of
his head too. And I'm not meaning to... undersell
this or anything like that I'm just kind of like
saying these are the things we learn and it's
just kind of what was fact at this point so we
learned that Val Kilmer killed himself and it
also is a little sad because at this point I
also realized I think he's being dubbed over
and knowing what I know now about how he has
throat cancer and everything like that it's kind
of sad I like Val Kilmer and I wish I wish there
was, well, I wish there was no cancer in the
world. That's for, that's for damn sure. Uh,
I don't think anybody here would disagree with
that, but it's just kind of sad that Val Kilmer's
voice is so gone that I can't tell if it's dubbed
over or if this is really what he sounds like,
but it's tough. It's really tough in this part.
So Val Kilmer is gone. Um, we flashback to the
present. And while Harry is in Bergen learning,
this is kind of where he picks up the stuff about
Val Kilmer and why we get the end story and what
happened and everything. While that's happening,
Katrine, basically the phone of the first missing
person, turns on. And they're able to locate
it at the creepy doctor's house. She's like,
yeah, I'm going to go alone to Vetlandson's house.
So she goes by herself to Vetlandson's house
to kind of basically make the arrest because
she thinks the creepy doctor did it. And she
gets into the house and there's nobody really
around or anything like that. At least not in
her initial search. So she goes into the garage
and sitting on a chair in the middle of the garage
with his head blown off and in a pile of water
is the creepy Dr. Vetleson. And so there's also
a bunch of bodies that we learn from the forensics
team when they get there and they start doing
their research and everything. Basically, he
had two or three women's bodies there, including
the first missing woman. So case solved, right?
Vetlason is the one who did it. He killed all
these girls because he felt like people were
getting on his case. And then he shot himself.
So obviously, case solved. Everything's done.
Because she went by herself, Katrine is suspended.
Basically losing a week because she didn't go
with backup. And it's all because she was told
to wait, but she kind of was just like, I'm not
going to wait. I'm going to go. Her and Harry
are talking and Harry's like, well, that's it.
It's wrapped up. I mean, he committed suicide.
He killed those girls. He obviously did it. The
snowman's been captured or is dead. The case
is closed. Katrine doesn't believe it. And we
don't know why she doesn't believe it, but she's
very strongly doesn't believe it. And she's starting
to believe that maybe J .K. Simmons is part of
this because obviously he had the girls and maybe
he killed Vetlison and killed those girls because
he felt like people were getting too close now.
And so she goes to his next big gala event. Katrine
goes by herself to this next big gala event.
And she, like I said, is suspended, but she has
her. computer ipad thing that's why the thing
was so such a big deal in the beginning she's
talking to him and basically says this is the
night they find out if they're going to win the
winter sports world cup thing um so she basically
like runs into jk simmons and was kind of like
oh you're such a big deal like i love you you're
the best um And if this goes well tonight or
if it doesn't, you can have me. And kind of hits
on him. I mean no ill will to Rebecca Ferguson
because she is a very attractive woman. But if
you look at the rest of the girls in this movie
that J .K. Simmons has been with so far that
we've seen, they're all very young women. And
so I'm surprised he, she actually tried it a
and B that he was just like, yeah, sure. Okay.
And he takes a picture of her too. Like she,
like he did with the woman with the boobs. Um,
it's just all kinds of creepy. And again, it
just feels like we're just building up to, he's
just a suspect for the sake of suspect. While
Katrina is doing her work at the gala, uh, Harry
is back home, just kind of relaxing, taking it
easy. Cause you know, case closed and everything
like that. One of the things I forgot to mention
as well is he's been having trouble sleeping.
And Matthias, because he's a plastic surgeon,
is able to write him a prescription for sleeping
pills. And so that's in his house. Just throwing
that because it does come into play in the next
couple of minutes. When they're on the train,
he basically gives him a prescription to fill
and everything like that. So Harry's relaxing
at home. And Harry's ex Raquel comes into his
place just to kind of talk to him about like
Oleg and everything like that and how Oleg was
so disappointed. And Harry goes, I know I just
got stuck working and I'm really trying to be
there for him and everything like that. And then
Raquel, like the entire time they're having this
conversation, Harry's laying on the floor, not
even on a bed or anything like that. He's just
on a floor. Like with books holding his head
up and she goes on top of him and is just like,
I miss you. And it leads to this like dry humping
scene. And it's a really bad soundtrack song
too. That's playing in the background. And it's
just so awkward. Like the entire thing is just
kind of all this kind of awkward. So yeah. If
they thought they were being sexy in this movie,
they definitely weren't. This dry humping scene
was definitely not getting anybody in this one.
Raquel kind of goes to get ready because she
basically is throwing herself back at Harry.
So she goes into the bathroom and she's exploring
the shelves and everything like that. And she
sees the sleeping pills prescription by Matthias.
And she's like, you couldn't go to anyone else
and throws the pills at him. Like he did something
wrong with this and everything. And he doesn't
say anything like he doesn't say, hey, look,
I saw him. I just kind of said, like, I've been
having problems sleeping. He wrote me this prescription
that would have done it. That would have been
just fine. But he never does that. He just kind
of is like, OK, cool. See you. Bye. And so. When
Raquel gets home, she, like, yells at Matthias
for, like, she thinks kind of two -timing her.
Where he's also kind of taking Harry as a patient.
And Matthias literally is just like, no, this
is what happened. This is what happened. I gave
him a prescription because he said he was having
trouble sleeping. At this point, I hate Harry
and I like Matthias. Truthfully. And I don't
think it's Fassbender's fault because I just
think it's how they wrote the character. They
want you to pity him. They want you to be like,
oh, he's such a sad sack. He has such a sad life.
Oh, blah, blah, blah. He's so pitiful and everything
like that. And I just never do. I always feel
like you make yourself so much worse than it
actually is. Meanwhile, at the gala, Oslo has
won the Winter Sports World Cup. So this is great.
Good news. J .K. Simmons is going around doing
all the like happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great news.
And Katrine slips up to the room that she's supposed
to meet J .K. Simmons at. And she sets up her
iPad like kind of hidden away from everything.
And so she can kind of get this confession that
he's a snowman and everything. So she's. there
kind of preparing she hides a gun under the pillow
she hides her ipad and then she steps outside
to kind of take in that the norway and everything
and she looks around and she sees a snowman and
all of a sudden she's attacked from behind by
the snowman and you think she's gonna get away
with it she like rushes she like Fights him off,
rushes to the bed, tries to find the gun. Nope,
gun's not there. He grabs her with a garrotte
and starts pulling on her neck from behind. And
she can't get away. And she is dead. So Oslo
won the Winter Sports World Cup. But Katrine
has been murdered. And we don't know who did
it yet. She also had her finger chopped off in
this whole ordeal. by an electric rope is really
what I'll say it was at this point. We don't
know exactly what it is. She gets her finger
chopped off and the snowman, you don't see him,
but he uses her finger to access the iPad and
delete a bunch of evidence because apparently
she was getting close. He was able to delete
all this stuff before it was able to go up to
the cloud that they have and collect everything.
after katrine's been murdered and all her evidence
has been cleared and everything harry's kind
of going through some of the stuff on her ipad
and trying to figure out if she if he can figure
out anything uh that she was putting together
and he keeps going back to the first woman that
disappeared and they found out that they saw
a fertility specialist and more specifically
that their daughter Was not his daughter because
he's been. He's sterile. And so when they find
that out, when Harry finds that out, he's like,
what was the fertility specialist name? And it
kind of mumbles to the phone and Harry's kind
of what? And you realize. Slowly but surely that
the fertility specialist. Has been claiming that
he's been a plastic surgeon this whole time.
It's Matthias. Oh no. Matthias. And Matthias
just so happens to have kidnapped Raquel and
Oleg. Magnus one of the secret agents or special
ops or whatever. That's been working with Harry.
He really wasn't important until this part. But
basically Harry gets him to track Raquel's phone.
And. So Harry follows it all the way to the cabin,
which Matthias' uncle or whatever uncle or that
he called uncle basically killed his mother or
at least drove her to commit suicide. So Harry
goes into the cabin and Raquel and Oleg are sitting
at the table tied up and Matthias has something
over. Raquel's throat because at this point he
doesn't want anything to happen to either of
them Harry sits down at the table and throws
his gun because that's what Matthias wants him
to do and Matthias starts monologuing about how
his mother killed herself because she was abused
and because she didn't know who her son's father
was and so Matthias has been killing all these
people because They don't know who the father
is of their child. And that's basically the motive
or the modus operandi for why Matthias is killing
these women. It's just so weak. It's just so
weak. And especially because even Harry is just
like, well, your uncle. Was your father and he
beat your mother and he's the one that like put
this psychological torture. Why don't you like
kill the fathers? And Matthias gets really mad
at him, giving him just enough time to be able
to get Raquel out of her situation and to get
Matthias to chase him outside into the icy abyss.
So Harry is in the middle of the ice. And he
just starts yelling at Matthias all these things.
And all of a sudden you hear a gunshot go off.
And Matthias basically just straight up shot
Harry. Like it wasn't a kill shot or anything,
but it literally was just, oh, cool. He just
shot him. Honestly, just kill him. You had all
like it was foggy on the ice. Nobody could see
anything. But because he kept yelling at Matthias,
he knew exactly where he was. So it's like, OK,
cool. I'm just going to shoot in this general
area. I can hear where he is. Perfect. Hopefully
I kill him. And so he has the gun. He has like
Harry's down on his knee because he's been shot
and he can't get out of the situation. And he
keeps saying to Matthias, like, you're just so
wrong for doing this. It's it's your fault. Your
mother killed you or killed herself and just
trying to drive him crazy. And basically, Matthias
is just kind of like monologuing and saying how
it's her fault and everything like that. And
as he's monologuing, looking at Harry and getting
ready to do the kill shot, of course he's not
looking down at the hole in the ice that he falls
in and can't find his way out of. So he drowns
and freezes to death. And that's it. End of movie.
Pretty much. The real end of it is Harry volunteers
for the next killer case. And kind of like teasing
that there would be a sequel if this movie actually
was good. This is the dumbest way for a character
to die. I just don't get it. Matthias had all
of, and like this entire movie, what they've
done is proven that Matthias is smart. Matthias
is kind to the people that he's trying to like
get into these situations. He's just, he's never
had to rush anything. And so I don't get why
all of a sudden he just blatantly falls into
this ice because he's not paying attention and
getting mad at Harry for no good reason. It just
doesn't make sense to me. It's goofy. It's dumb.
It's everything like that. So, I don't know.
This movie, the book was just so much better.
And I know everybody can say, oh, the book was
better, the book was better, the book was better.
This had a good story. And it could have been,
well, the book did. And it could have easily
translated to a movie. But it's like every time
they tried to go one way with it, they went the
wrong way with it. There's no reason with some
of these things that they did what they did,
and it was like, cool, all right. Why did you
do that? You could have gone any other way. Some
of the other things, Harry Hole was not likable,
and that's one thing that really just bugged
me the entire time was they try to make you pity
this guy, and it just... There's never a point
where he seems redeemable or seems likable that
you're just kind of like, oh, yeah, cool. I like
him. He's one note pretty much the entire time.
The only time that I ever feel anything is when
he's talking to Oleg. And even that he fucked
up three times where it's like, OK, cool. He's
never going to change. So why are we even caring
about this at this point? So Fassbender did fine
with what he was given. A couple of things I'm
seeing right now that I'm looking at it. The
director basically said that the production was
too rushed. He came on board late. And 15 % of
the screenplay, at least in his opinion, was
never filmed. Including that some subplots were
never finished or never resolved. Like J .K.
Simmons, for example, just kind of disappears.
So maybe that's why he felt like a suspect the
entire time is because they just never finished
the story. Maybe he did have more to this story
that just never got made. The director also disowned
it a week before his premiere, saying basically
like this just doesn't work as a movie. And I
mean, good for him, I guess. So let's also talk
about the streak that Michael Fassbender was
on before this. So in this time before this movie,
he was in Assassin's Creed, Song to Song, Alien
Covenant, this movie, and then he closed right
after that two years later with Dark Phoenix.
Michael Fassbender is a great actor. Like, really,
he's a great actor. I don't think anybody would
disagree with that, right? How in the fuck does
he have that bad a stretch in his life? How is
he this bad at picking movies that he went from
like Alien Covenant, which I get he was part
of the Alien series. Okay, fine, whatever. Let's
throw that one away. Assassin's Creed, The Snowman,
and Dark Phoenix. And Dark Phoenix, again, there's
another one that we can kind of throw away because
he was part of that universe. But still, that
and Apocalypse was before that as well. I just
don't get it, man. I don't get how an actor like
that has this streak in there. So, The Snowman.
I'll say the sins it commits is dumb ending for
a villain. A main character no one loves. There's
a million and a half cliches. There's 15 % of
the script's missing. It was never filmed. So
some of these characters just disappear, like
J .K. Simmons, which is really disappointing
because I think he was one of the better parts
of this movie. Him and Oleg were the better parts
of this movie. And Matthias was a likable character.
And then I think they just tried for shock value
on some of this where they killed Katrine. and
they tried to make you feel sad for Val Kilmer
which I did learn while doing this episode his
lines were dubbed over so I was right about that
and I'm willing to forgive that because it is
Val Kilmer and because we know his story and
everything like that I am willing to forgive
that um it is a little rough when you're watching
it because it's not a good dubbing and again
if The directors write about this, which I have
no reason to believe not. If this was a Rush
production, basically it was kind of, cool, we
have to do this. Sorry, this is what we got.
This is it. You get this one shot. Val Kilmer
did say in an Ask Me Anything that he was suffering
from the cancer treatment, and he had a swollen
tongue, so he could never do any of the lines.
So that's why it was dubbed over. And I get it.
I do. None of this is Val Kilmer's fault on that.
It's tough because this was a really good book
and because there's a lot of storylines that
I feel like were left out because of the Rush
production, because they needed to go back to
London. They didn't film all of this in Norway.
They filmed some of it in Norway, but they didn't
film all of it because they needed to go back
to London. i get it i see it and i go oh this
was a rush production oh yeah okay that makes
sense yeah yeah yeah i totally see that uh you're
missing 15 of the script wow okay yeah that's
that that makes sense and some of the trailer
even apparently they filmed it but they cut it
which happens but i think some of that is the
reason why i was excited in the first place i
was excited for this movie i really was um It
just never coincided. It never got to that part.
And can we also talk about Mr. Police? You could
have saved her. I gave you all the clues in this
sad -looking snowman. That also makes me laugh,
the Mr. Police and stuff. I always found that
funny because that's even what it says in the
book. So it just makes me laugh sometimes seeing
that and going, Mr. Police. And a lot of people,
when they were guessing what the bad movie was,
when they finally figured out it was the snowman,
there was a lot of jokes about Mr. Police and
everything like that. So, uh, hello, Mr. Police.
I hope you enjoyed the snowman. So yeah, I don't
have much more to say about this movie. I gave
you the entire plot of this thing, but basically
it felt rushed. I get how they say that. This
was a star -studded cast. It had such a better
premise. And it just never got to that point.
It never got to there. And the reveal was lame.
It wasn't that surprising. It wasn't that thrilling.
And finally, just to talk about it, the ending
sucked. Plain and simple. It just was a miserable
ending. I just don't believe it at all. And frankly,
it suffers from one of the biggest sins, which
is just a boring movie. And especially with a
thriller where you want to keep people at the
edge of their seat. I just wasn't. I never felt
at the edge of my seat at all. I felt bored and
confused at most points. So there you have it.
That's The Snowman. I'm going to give it a...
I think I'm going to give it a Mitchell zero
half star. Um, I'm going to give it half a half
a head on a snowman, I guess that that's the
best way I can describe it. And that's probably
better than this movie deserves, uh, for a rating
system. But yeah, that's the snowman. Um, we're
hoping to get another episode out next week with.
Andre, Jill and I, that is a very much fingers
crossed. Things have been happening in our lives,
which are a lot of it's for the best. And so
that's part of the reason why it's been so hard
to get us together. I'll let them explain next
week if they're on the show about the news they
have, if they choose to. I'm not going to make
them choose to tell people their news if they
don't want to. But I will say that a lot of good
changes are happening in their lives. So happy
for them. And we're trying our best to get together.
So until then, you have to deal with me. I hope
you're okay with that because I like talking
to you guys and I'm going to continue to do so
no matter what happens. And so, yeah. That is
the Game for a Movie podcast. I've been your
host, Mike. It's Game for a Movie podcast where
we ask, are you game for a movie? I'll see you
next time, Mr. Police.