Hello everyone and welcome to the Every Movie Ever Podcast. My name is Ben Grohls.
And my name is Rob Macfarlane. Welcome to the show, a movie podcast slash mental health
check-in for two broken brain best friends talking around their problems, but not about
their problems whilst, you know, laughing at movies.
Before we get to what we're doing, I feel it's far more important we ask the real question.
How are you doing, buddy?
I've had a week, man.
You have?
I've had a week. So my chest problem gone and sort of had it all checked out and this
and that and the other and gone for a few tests and the test came back. It's a, it's
a collapsed lung.
Yes.
That I've been living with for six months. I've had a collapsed lung for six months.
Snowflake, mate.
Absolutely liberal, beta cuck, soy boy lung.
Anyway, other than that, I'm fine. How are you babe?
I'm fine. I mean, what am I? I'm mostly just fuming that you would rather collapse along
than do your half of the work for the podcast.
I've done my half of the work for this episode. I was up until three o'clock this morning
feeling guilty, struggling to breathe, I might add, because of all anxiety and adrenaline
that was going through me yesterday.
Yeah.
Chatting, like typing away about Ridley Scott and his massive forehead. I don't care about
this film. I didn't, I didn't know what I was doing. I was looking at it. I was like,
mate, I might die in a minute. I'm going to go eat a cheesecake. What am I doing?
That's a brilliant way to start an hour long show about a film. I don't care about this
film. Well, I do Ben. I do. And I think it's a joke. It's a joke. Come on.
I think it's a high time we say, what are we doing this week, Ben? We are cashing in
on Ridley Scott's sequel to Gladiator. Gladiator 2 or Gladiator. Either way, it's sword, sword
sandals and a beautiful beef cake everywhere. You know what I mean? Everywhere, everywhere,
everywhere, everywhere. We've got a lot to get into this week. We've got why Gladiator
2 took so long to sequel and why we're getting one now. Is it worth the two decade wait?
How does it compare to the original masterpiece? What were the other Gladiator movies that
we could have had? And most importantly, has Ridley Scott yet again retroactively ruined
another one of his best franchises? Yes. But now let's paint the picture of where we are.
Where are we? Where are we? But I don't know when in time we are right now, buddy. Right
now. It's 2024. Oh God. Emma Stone and Killian Murphy both take home best actor for Golden
Globes and they both went full nude for their roles that they won them for. That's because
Killian Murphy had his Golden Globes out. You see, he painted them that color as a little
subconscious. He dropped his Golden Globe. You know what I mean? I saw it. Get your tits
out for the Globes, lads. You know what I mean? It's 2024, buddy. And the UK has been
obsessed with pretty colors in the sky that you can only see through a phone screen at
2 a.m. sometimes some where's. Sweat the nation, babe. The amount of pink sky I saw on Facebook
and Instagram the day after the Northern Lights hit Liverpool. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
I thought there was a protest going on. Just let people enjoy things, Ben. Just let people
enjoy. Enjoy it. Flood my feed. It's 2024, babe. Yeah. And it turns out that some lungs
aren't built different after all. No, it turns out that some lungs are just built poorly
and collapse under the tiniest bit of stress made out of glue and wishes. That sneeze came
out of nowhere. That scared the hell out of me. You thought that was the end. It's happening
now. It's happening now. I felt a bubble was like, right, the budget gladiator to is a
weird one, man. I can't find an exact number. There's a few sources saying 250, a few sources
saying 300, but anywhere between 250 mil and 300 mil shed. That's not true because I've
also seen sources saying up to 350. See, this is what I'm saying, man. People need to get
the facts straight. My thinking is that it's more money than it's worth and there are people
who are on the studio side trying to make that point and then there are filmmakers trying
to combat that point. No, it's only like 220 mil. And then you've got the studio going,
no, it's over 350 and then this is where the sort of war of information between them has
got you. Well, we normally at this point we do like a, why are we doing this film? What
does it mean? Why is this relevant to us? Yeah. Well, we had to, you know what I mean?
We've been forced to. Ridley gave us one of the best sword and sandal movies ever and
then two decades later decided to cash in. So here we are doing the exact same thing,
baby. Well, I look, I think, I think also this is one of the big cinema events of the
year. Yeah, huge. I really do. Now I say that all the big cinema events of this year have
been commercial flops. Massive. Red One, the Rock's Christmas movie. Oh, in the bin. That's
open to 34 mil. Yeah, in the bin. Crow opened to none, nothing. Literally 40 quid. Joker
2 opened to nothing. That was about a grand. Like this has been the year of massive, massive
losses by the studios. Mad Max Furiosa, mate. Mad Max. 30 mil on the opening weekend. Awful.
Right. This one, anecdotally at least, seems to have avoided that fate. This one's doing
good, man. It's doing bits. It's doing bits. Doing good. Now, for those of you who have
yet to see this film, we are about to break down what happens in it. Yes. This is kind
of more of a post-mortem if you've come from the cinema. Yes. We're going to talk about
the thoughts, feelings and emotions that you probably have, that we definitely have. If
you're not planning on seeing this at all, stick around. But if you are planning on checking
out this movie, pause here. Pause here. We'll stay here. This is digital media. We'll be
trapped in your phone. Exactly. Like little crystal boys. You pause. And you can come
back to us. Our timelines, we no longer exist. Right. You know what I mean? Right. We sat
here actively waiting for you, tapping the wrists being like, has Derek done it yet?
Where's Jane? His shit at the fucking cinema. You know what I mean? This is it now. Swear
jar, Ben. It's getting so much more taxing to start screaming. You know what I mean?
Like I need to calm down. Yeah, I know. I know. So please don't swear because it adds
nine hours to my editing. It means you might die. Oh, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele,
ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele, ukulele,
ukulele, ukulele. That's my swear jar song. You're welcome to use it. Uh, copyright free.
Just right. If you do use it, are you telling me now? No, this is, this is, this is my,
this is my cause that's going to be insanely popular. I think that's the next tick tock
dance. Brilliant. Yeah. Should we do a breakdown? I don't. Let's do a breakdown. My ear is warm.
I'm going to start this one. No, I'm not. You're going to start this one. The story
centers on Lucius Verus played by Paul Mescal, the son of Lucilla and the heir to the Roman
empire. Now an adult and living in their exile. We don't know any of this at the start. They
try and bury the lead on who he is, even though in all the promo they told you who he was.
They wait halfway through the film to confirm it. His peaceful life is shattered when general
Marcus Acacius played by Pedro Pascal, because of course every film has to have Pedro Pascal
in it now. You said that sarcastically, but I wholeheartedly agree. Anyway, Pedro invades
his home, kills his wife and captures Lucius, enslaving him and forcing him back to Rome.
Rome is now under the rule of the tyrannical emperors, Caracalla and Gaeta. Yeah. Gaeta.
And gladiatorial games dominate the city. I mean, you'd hope so. Lucius becomes a gladiator
in the Colosseum. I mean, you'd hope so. Sure. Where he rises through the ranks because we
need a film, channeling the spirit of his childhood hero, Maximus, and also every beat
of the original film. Lucilla recognizes Lucius, but struggles to reconnect with him due to
his resentment over their past of her abandoning him and sending him off to exile. Yeah. She
did very little to bring him back. You know what I mean?
Lucilla and Acacius conspire with senators to overthrow the emperors and restore the
Roman Republic. Meanwhile, Lucius bonds with fellow gladiators and learns more about his
age, discovering relics of Maximus that inspire him. Oh, what a champ. However, the conspiracy
is exposed by the scheming Macronus, played by Denzel Washington, absolute, absolute hero,
a former slave turned power hungry advisor. Betrayals lead to public trials and more violence
in the Colosseum with Lucius forced to face Acacius in combat, defying expectations of
whom we're not sure. And the entire plot of the film. Yeah. Actually, I don't care about
this anymore. See, let's go for a pint. See what I mean? Defying expectations of all plot
points so far and the entire gasping audience. Lucius spares his opponent's life, sparking
riots as the populace grows disillusioned with the emperor's tyranny. Chaos engulfs
Rome as the conspirators, including Lucilla, are captured. Macronus, Denzel Washington,
manipulates events to stage a deadly showdown in the Colosseum, pitting Lucius against overwhelming
odds. Armed with Maximus's sword and armour, Lucius rallies the gladiators to revolt, leading
to a bloody uprising. If you say that in a northern accent, it's better. Led to a bloody
uprising. Lucius sacrifices herself during the rebellion and Lucius discovers she had
hidden his true heritage. He is Maximus's biological son. Yeah. Cause that was talked
about loads in the first film. Wasn't it just wasn't the man of honor. Maximus Decimus
Meridius made so much better by the fact that he had a second child that he knew about,
but just didn't care about. He had a dead one he wanted to get back to. After a climactic
duel with Macronus, Lucius defeats him and declares himself the rightful leader, offering
Rome a chance at renewal in the worthiest speech I've yet to see on cinema. The film
concludes with Lucius mourning his losses, but embracing his role as a symbol of hope
for a new Rome. Ta-da! In summation, gladiator one, done worse. Yeah. Yeah. It's, well, we'll
get into it. We will. What's Ridley been doing since gladiator? Because it seems to me like
he's just been going through the back catalogue and going, haven't ruined that yet.
So Ridley, Ridley baffles me as a filmmaker. It's research in this. It, it kind of caught
me how prolific a filmmaker he is, right? With that much practice, I had a shoe that
there would be way more hits than misses. You see, I've got a point here. I think I've seen
it happen creatively with musicians and I always use George Lucas as the example. Okay.
On your way up, everyone around you is flagging your bad ideas. Right. So George Lucas making
Star Wars had Lawrence Kasdan, he had Spielberg, he had people around him just going, George,
this is twaddle. Yes. And he listens to that feedback and he took it on the chin because
he's a professional and he goes, great. Okay. I can work on this. That's bad. I'll cut that.
I'll change this. It comes out, it defines a genre. It changes the epoch. It moves filmmaking
forward. So he comes to make the prequels and he goes, I'm thinking about these like
aliens that have got slanty eyes and they speak with an Asian accent and, and they're
like shocked all the time and they're in charge of trade and no one's comfortable telling
George Lucas inventor of Star Wars that that's twaddle. Yes. Yes. I see what you're saying.
I'm going to have like a sort of Jamaican accented clown frogman. That's a little stereotype.
Yeah. That's how good you are at that. It's the only accent I'm good at and it's fucking
infuriating that that exists in me. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. You lose that filter because
the people around you become sycophants and I see it, I saw it so often in music where
no one's, no one feels comfortable going, you pay my mortgage because I am your employee
and I have to tell you that this is toss. Ridley makes loads of films now. I don't know
anyone on a Ridley Scott shoot who'd be comfortable going, hello Ridley Scott, director of Alien
and Blade Runner and Gladiator. Have you considered that this is awful? Yeah. Hi, I'm me. I would
gladly do this every step of the way. Right. We're just going to have him running up here
like an excited, excited school child with some new crayons in his pocket. No, let's
not. Right. Scrap it. Right. What if the first act is a beat for beat remix of the first
one, but with less convincing effects, less convincing characters, no dialogue to give
you any backstory as to why you should care and loads of black and white flashbacks. Right.
The first act of this film is like a house remix of an Al Green song. Kinda, yeah. Like
a really good song that you love and someone's just going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's better
now. And you're like, no, it is more modern. It is more modern. I will give you that. But
I don't, I don't want this. I don't, I don't need this. Get this away from me. I don't
know. Okay. Well, I see what you're saying. I've in my research and my travels through
the Ridley Scott annals. Yeah. That's a word. Well done. Nice to pronounce it correctly
because it made me giggle. It's 17 films since Gladiator, buddy. Yeah. 17. And I went through
them and I was like, okay, that's pretty good. You know, there's, there's a few bangers in
there. You've got Black Hawk Down from 2001. That's like a year after Gladiator. You've
got American Gangster from 2007. That's it. That's a great film. Good film. Long film,
but good. Long film. You've got The Martian from 2015. Very good film. Absolute toss in
between all of those apps. And the one thing that I've come to the conclusion of, and people
have said this to me in the past, I believe Amber from Control or Critique said this to
me a little while ago. Ridley Scott is a great filmmaker, but he is a terrible script. He
just picks the worst scripts. I'm like, bless his bless his cock and balls. Right. This
is what I, this is what I think he does. He reads a story and goes, I find that really
interesting because I'm a nerd and then forgets that 88% of the population loved Fast and
Furious. Right. You know what I mean? And it's like, you have to find the balance between
this buddy, like Napoleon, very interesting character, three hour Napoleon drama. Do we,
right. Do we need to ruin France? I disagree with you though, because I think, well, I
partially disagree with you. Okay. You said he's terrible at picking scripts. That's without
question. Yeah. The Napoleon endurance test that he put out last year or whenever it was,
he went so niche on that. He'd been looking to make a Napoleon film for years. He somehow
managed to include all the bits that the general public wouldn't be interested in whilst getting
vast amounts of the historical information deliberately wrong to make it more relatable
to a general audience who already didn't care. Right. See what I mean? So his scripts are
awful, but where I disagree with you is I don't think there's a single shot in the last
15 years of Ridley Scott's filmmaking that I've looked at and gone, wow. Okay. We're
doing David Fincher series at the moment. There isn't a single shot in David Fincher
film that I can't pause and go, that's a lovely thing to look at. Okay. I'm on the other side
of that fence. A lot of Ridley Scott's shots, a lot of Ridley Scott's shots are proper workmen.
I get what you're saying. There's two people in a frame. Get on with it. I get what you're
saying. There are a few shots though that are gorgeous and I will stand by. Are they
done with the camera or are they CGI shots? They're done with camera. Okay. It's mainly
his set designer who I'm obsessed with. Like in this film, especially, there is some gorgeous
backdrops. So that's Arthur Max, who is the production designer and we actually covered
another one of his films recently, believe it or not, because Arthur Max came straight
off Gladiator One and he did Panic Room. Okay. So he's the guy that built the panic room
house. Right. That's awesome. Right. You see what I mean? Like, and then so Gladiator One,
Gladiator Two, The Martian was, is drop dead gorgeous. It was filmed in Jordan. There was
a lot of on location filming in Jordan. Jordan is a beautiful country. And that is like stunning.
There are so many shots in that film that I would have as A3 posters on my wall. Maybe.
Just because they're gorgeous. Maybe. I think, I think again, praise the sets, praise the
locations, but he's not doing anything with the camera. I'm like, Ooh, that's a Ridley
Scott. Yeah. No, no, no. I get what you're saying. I wouldn't be able to pull a Ridley
Scott shot out of a pile of shots in front of me. You know what I mean? Whereas Fincher,
I would a thousand percent go, Oh, that's piss blue. That's obviously Fincher.
There's a lot in this film that I really, really don't like. I know. And it's upset
me because you loved Gladiator One. Like it's my favourite popcorn blockbuster. Yeah. You
loved it. So what was, what's the difference between Gladiator One and Gladiator Two for
you? I'm going to, in an attempt to not be my normal,
curmudgeonly moaning grumpy self, rather than tell the dear listeners everything that I
hated about this film, I'm going to talk about the things that were in Gladiator One that
I wanted to see the sequel to. Awesome. I'm in for this. What I love most about Gladiator
One is not the action or the set pieces, but the story and characters. We talked about
this in our episode the other week. The first film had so much soul and depth that makes
you care about the action happening on screen. You cared about Maximus getting his revenge,
not because it was cool or Fast and the Furious part 19, but because it was important for
his character. Yeah. It was just, it was a justified outcome
for that character. From his perspective, like vengeance for his family was not just
selfish. It's because when he saw them again in a minute when he dies, cause he knows he's
going to see them in the afterlife. He wants to be able to stand in front of them and be
able to tell them that he made it right before coming along.
Thousand percent. It was incredible. I'm going to see my wife in a minute and I want
to be able to tell her, don't worry. I sorted it.
I avenged you. Conversely, right. Conversely, Commodus doesn't
just kill Maximus. No. Which is always an option in gladiator one. He could do it at
any point. He's the emperor of Rome. Yeah. And Maximus is a slave. Yeah. But Commodus
doesn't because he wants something deeper. He wants to win the ideological battle and
he wants Maximus to die knowing that Commodus was right. Yes. That Commodus was a strong,
valid man worthy of respect. And killing Maximus was secondary to proving Maximus wrong. Yeah.
A thousand percent. Right. It made him one of the greatest villains. All of that beautiful
depth then meant when the action happened, I was super invested. I was super, super invested.
Now the first third of this film remixes all of those action beats. Yeah. All of those
plot beats from we start with a big battle. Yep. The protagonist's family or wife is killed
and he is sold into slavery. He then appears in a vaguely Middle Eastern small gladiatorial
arena and meets his new owner. Yeah. All of which is a direct lift from gladiator one.
Yep. But has none of the backstory. Nope. And so you're just watching this weird sort
of requal. Yeah. That has none of the relatability of the original and then about halfway through
makes all of the stuff that you've seen so far no longer relevant to the story going
forward. Yeah. It's completely null and void. Right. He nulls and voids it by he gets to
meet what has up till now been painted as the primary antagonist. Yeah. They sort it
out and then that primary antagonist dies and then Macronus, who's the Oliver Reed equivalent
is not presented as the antagonist. It's the Emperor's. So now you're supposed to hate
the Emperor's, but then in the last act it becomes Macronus. So the villain keeps switching
out. Yeah. And our primary hero has gone from wanting to avenge his wife to wanting to
reconnect with his mother to wanting to save the world. Yeah. It's a choose your own adventure
that Mescal went on and won every time with incredible ease and with no real danger to
it because everyone likes him. Right. Everyone is on his side. Yes. He can rally an entire
army for no other reason other than the fact that he's Mescal. Like that's it. And the
times in which it apes the first one is worse because the first fight in Gladiator is he's
fighting other gladiators and it's visceral and it's practical and it's dirty. That's
it. In this one, bring it home. He chokes a bald monkey. It's a hairless monkey that
he bites and then chokes out. So it's just Paul Mescal choking his monkey in front of
a crowd. Nailed it. The first battle rather than being a real forest with a thousand extras,
all just getting down in the mud while the trees burn, all done practically. It's a sort
of bizarre ropey CGI age of empires. Yeah. Battle scene with the honestly, if you've
played a Mario game, you've seen better CGI water. Dude, the water is awful. Play Zelda
Wind Waker. You'll be more convinced. Dude, play anything that's like Sega Game Gear up
and it's better water. Do you know what I mean? Like Game Gear plus is better water.
I'll agree with you wholeheartedly. It's very confused and I just, I don't know who this
is for because it's bringing back enough of the first film that it feels like you don't
need to watch the first film because it's giving you all of that. Right. It's like if
you're a new watcher, here's the first one done again. Yeah. But if you're going to do
that, don't tie it to the first one plot wise because it has to crowbar so much in. I know
mate. That isn't relevant to someone who doesn't like Gladiator One. So this is my thought
process, right? I feel like when way back in 2000 and we were presented with Gladiator,
we had this gorgeous film. Yeah. Full of depth, full of soul, full of heart. It had great
characters. It had great antagonists. It had great action, had everything that you needed
from a film and it lived with us forever. Right. Now in 2024, when you talk to the new
generation about Gladiator, they're like, I don't care about this weird sword and sandal
movie that came out 24 years ago. That I always see in the charity shop on DVD. Exactly. It's
99p in every single charity shop. I don't care. Yeah. And I think what they've done
is they've tried to recreate the magic of the first one for the new generation, but
we're living in a different time, right? We're living in a time now where it's instant information.
It's instant gratification. There's no patience. There's no slow build. You're in, here's the
story, you're out. And Ridley's almost tried to capitalize on this. I don't think Ridley's
built for it. If I'm honest with you, I don't think he does. He doesn't do straight in,
straight out movies. He needs the slow build and he needs to sort of lean into it rather
than fight it. It's odd. This movies are if your granddad made an app. It's that. It's
that. It's, it's, and I'm kind of, I'm kind of weirdly jealous in some ways because there's
a lot of, a lot of the younger generation are enjoying it. And I love that. Like that's
awesome that you're enjoying this film. And if you are, if you're one of the people that
love this film, I'm so incredibly jealous, but also it's incredible that you get what
we had in 2000. It might not be for our taste in because we had gladiator. Like this isn't
for us. It's not for gladiator fans. Everyone that's asked me, I've looked at them and the
sort of under 25s I've been like, you should go. You probably love it. Exactly. The over
thirties. I'm like, nah, no, no, no, no, no, not for us. Not for us. It's just not made
for us. And I think we're going to have to start, we're going to have to start recognizing
that a lot of cinema is made for a demographic that we no longer belong to. We've outgrown
it mate. We're sort of fossils in this cinematic audience now. You know what I mean? And if
you're listening to this show, you probably are too. Thousand percent. Cause I've seen
our demographics mate. And you know what I mean? I see you buddies. I see you 29 to 35
year old buddies. All right. So, so he's okay. He's tried to update it clearly. Yeah. And
he's done it for a new generation and it's nice and it's lovely. It's not for us. I get
that. Um, this film wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. Right.
And I actually, whilst I was watching it, I had some fun. Right. The monkey thing, hilarious.
Sharks in the Coliseum, hilarious. You know what I mean? Like the dumb stuff that was
in there. Sharks in the Coliseum. I've literally in my notes got written deep blue Caesar.
Oh, that hurt my chest, but that was so worth it. That's amazing. Do you have any idea how
much of a life goal it would be that I tell a joke so funny that you die? I'd say, yeah,
dude, if you do it, that's, that's the, that's the, just do the B movie solo. Do you know
what I mean? Just do the next episode is B movie solo. And it's I accidentally, I was
accidentally so funny that I killed a man. You know what I mean? That would be brilliant.
Yeah. Cause it would have to be accidental as well. I don't have it in me to do it. You'd
have to do a standup tour called rest in peace. You know what I mean? The whole thing was
wicked. I had a great fun with it because I went in with such bad expectations. I was
like, I'm going to be so angry. And then I started enjoying it. The first bit I was like,
this is so thin. The story's really thin. It's a terror. I don't care about his wife.
She said four words, the entire film. Now she's dead. I don't care. Uh, the only things
I've seen, I've seen her get assaulted through a laundry line. That's, that's it. That's
her character arc for me. Also she can fire bow and arrow mint. And then it got a bit
twisty tourney with the twin emperors. I liked that aspect. I liked that it was two evils
sort of which one was lesser evil. They were trying to sort of, it was like a yang and
yang. There was no yin. No, it was, it was a dog. It was a, it was a piss poor deconstruction
of whack in Phoenix's two modes in the first one. Yeah, it was. What if instead of having
it in one person, we just had two blokes and one of them's a bit mental and one of them's
a little bit sensitive. I'm a massive Joseph Quinn fan boy though. So he, for me, he was
like, he was fun to watch. He nailed his character. He's a great actor. I think he did it well.
And then whenever Denzel Washington came onto the stage, I was like, Oh, this is the film.
This is where the film's been hiding the entire three hours I've been sat here. The film has
been tucked away in Denzel Washington's pocket because that's the most interesting part.
When he's on screen. Yeah. The film works. It's incredible. But his excellence makes
everything worse by comparison. It really does. It's a great cast in, but simultaneously
terrible cast in because he's so good. Right. The rest of the film is piss weak. I would
say he, he comes across as actually balls to the wall, gripping hit homosexual. Whereas
everything else comes across as cheap camp. Yes. Yeah. I look at him and I go, he might
actually make love to me and change my orientation. The rest of the film is a football fan. Yeah.
In a dress. Yes. On October 30th. Yeah. On a stag do in Berlin, duct taped to a lamppost.
Right. Right. That's it. Yeah. No, you're right. And I kind of, I'm just, I just don't
get why Ridley did this now. I've got, okay. Besides the money. I've got some answers for
you bud, because I found, I found some stuff that Ridley said about why gladiator two took
so long to make. So I've, I've selected two quotes. One is from 2023 when he's sort of
like, he's, you know, it's wrapping up. He's actively like, I'm very excited about this.
This is going to be great. And then I have one from 2024 and you will see the stock difference
in his attitude towards gladiator two buddy. Right. So in 2023, when Ridley Scott was asked
why now, why, why gladiator two in 2024 in 2023, Ridley Scott says, why now? Well, it
didn't have a script before we tried actually four years ago. And I chose a very good writer
who couldn't get his head around it. He wrestled with it. He was terribly upset that he didn't
deliver. He's a friend of mine. I said, Oh, you're not getting there. And he said, no,
that took 10 months. So it went dead. And then we circled the wagons again, coming back
with a very obvious idea. And why not? There is a survivor. The survivor is the son of
the union between Lucilla and Maximus. You can tell that he's excited about it, right?
He's typing it up. He's like, dude, this is it. This is why it took so long. I finally
cracked this nut. This is it. We found the story that needs to be told. This is how we
continue the saga. Yes. He's excited about it. Ridley Scott in 2024 was asked, why did
it take 24 years to remake it to sequel gladiator? It me, frankly, mate, we're all busy. So honestly,
no one really cared. That's the end of quote. He was, he's so, so he's, he's as deflated
as my left lung about this film, right? He's just sort of like, nah, I'm done. Yeah. He's
like, well, it is what it is. It's going out. Enjoy it. Why did it take this long? Busy.
I feel like I watched an interview with Mike Tyson this week. Cause he's for those of you
listening in the future, he's just done his boxing fight with a YouTube. Oh yeah. He was
interviewed by a 12 year old. Okay. And the 12 year old said, when you retire, what do
you want to be your legacy? And he looked this child in the face and he went, legacy
is bullshit. It's a made up word. It's a made up word that people have latched onto and
it doesn't mean anything because after all of this, I'll be dead. We'll all be dead.
We'll be dust. You'll die. You'll be dust too. And nothing will matter. I love, I love
Mike Tyson's current arc. Like his ruin a childhood winter. I'm into it. I feel like
we need to sit Ridley Scott down with Mike Tyson and have Mike Tyson just explain, you
don't have to make films Ridley. You don't have to release films. You can make it go,
Ooh, actually. And then just decide to not bring it out. Yeah. I mean, he did, he did
do that a little bit, right? So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, we're going to go into a mirror
dimension right now, Ben. Oh, okay. Cause not long after gladiator one, Russell Crowe
kind of felt that there was room for a sequel, you know, big breakout hit for him. So he
approached his mate, Nick cave musician and screenwriter. He wrote quite a few scripts
that are actually really good. Really, really good. Great script writer. He writes long
scripts, but he's an incredible songwriter. One of my favorite musicians. And Russell
Crowe is like, do you want to give this a crack? And he did. Okay. He got leaked a couple
years back. So what we're going to do now is we're going to slip inside the twilight
zone. And I've written a second break. I say written, I've ripped off, I've ripped off
a second breakdown. Amazing. Oh my God. You have, I can see it. Do you want to, do you
want to kick us off? Yes, please. You do the first part and I'll do the second part. All
right. I got you. Caves gladiator two screenplay opens with Maximus waking up in the afterlife
to his disappointment. It isn't the sun kissed Elysium that he dreamt of in gladiator, but
an endless rain, sudden nether world where wretched refugees huddle on the shores of
a black ocean. But the help of a ghostly guide, Maximus treks to a ruined temple where he
meets Jupiter Mars and five other diseased and decrepit Roman deities. Jupiter explains
that, Oh my God, Jupiter explains that one of their number have faced us, have faced
us. Yup. Has betrayed them and is now preaching the gospel of another God. Bastard. It was
more powerful than all of them. Jupiter offers him a deal. Remember this is Maximus from
gladiator. Yes. Offers him a deal. If he kills the face, this, then he will be reunited with
his wife and son in the golden wheat fields of Elysium. Right. No sooner has Maximus tracked
down her faces than he zapped out of the gloom and into the world of flesh and blood a decade
or two after his death. What human again, he travels to Rome in search of his son Marius,
Marius, who was crucified and burned to death in gladiator is alive and kicking in gladiator
too. Fantastic. I'm on board. At this stage, the script focuses on a band of early Christians
dodging the Roman authorities, right? But these scenes also bring back some of the characters
and political intrigue from gladiator, right? As well as meeting his now adult son, he bumps
into Juba who's played by a Jimon Hanzu. Okay. And the screenplays villain is none other
than commisness, his nephew, Lucius, now grown up to be as evil as his uncle. That's incredible.
Now, okay. Are you ready for how this film ends? No. Ben, I want you, I'm so happy that
you're reading this third paragraph. Go for it, bud. All right. I'm in it. You ready?
Yeah. Everything leads to a showdown between Lucius's Roman enforcers and the Christian
resistance army, which Maximus and Juba have been training in secret. Yeah. Okay. And then
what? Another chat with the Roman gods, a family reunion in sunny Elysium. Well, no.
Instead, instead, instead cave has Maximus striding into battle through the centuries
in crusades, in the world wars, in Vietnam. And finally the Pentagon. Yep. In a grand
division of the opening montage of expert origins, Wolverine. The message is that by
choosing armed combat over nonviolent resistance, Maximus has condemned humanity to an eternal
cycle of bloodshed, which is a thought provoking conclusion, but maybe not a cloud, a crowd
pleasing one. Right. Buddy. Right. I want this film so badly.
The title of the screenplay was gladiator to hyphen Christ killer. Yes. God, I want
this. It was the Roman gods hiring Maximus to put down this new fangled religion, dude,
him turning against them and going, no, actually Jesus Christ. This is mint would be played
by Danny Trejo with a machete. Like that's the only way that this would play out. Right.
Hola, hola. I'm Jesus Christ. And then he just takes out an entire army with his Christ
sword. You know what I mean? That's dude. I want this so bad. It's the best. It's the
best worst B movie plot I've ever heard in my entire life. And it's gladiator to, I've
got two quotes for you. Hit me up. Russell Crowe. Yeah. On reading the script that he'd
commissioned Nick cave to write. Yeah. Uh, his quote don't like it, mate. Okay. Yeah.
It's not a scientist. Simple. Just don't like it, mate. However, he said, I enjoyed writing
it very much because I knew on every level of my being that it was never going to get
made. Let's call it a popcorn dropper. Do you know what I love about this? Right. I
found an interview with Russell Crowe and it was like, well, well my idea for gladiator
to was Maximus. He's killed too many people to go to heaven, but he's too good of a person
to go to hell. So the second film is Maximus in limbo and he's fighting his way back to
his family and he makes some deals with some gods and he does X, Y, and Z and it all makes
sense and it's all plausible. It's all justifiable. And he ends up back in the human world with
his newly newly revived wife and son. And it's like, right buddy. That's just as bad
as the same Pentagon man running script that you've just read me. Do you know what I mean?
That's mental. I think Russell Crowe saw this film as sort of like the sci-fi, the sci-fi
springboard that he really needed to get going.
Well, so related to that is when Nick Cave was given the job of writing the sequel, he
said to Russell Crowe, I thought you died at the end of the first one. Russell Crowe's
response was, yeah, but you're the writer. So that's a you problem.
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That is true. That is true. It's a problem. That's on you.
That's what I'm paying you to do. What else is your job? Make it work, buddy. So with
this film, we've gone into a lot of stuff as to sort of like why we don't like it, why
it doesn't compare as well to the first one. There's a few bits that I do love that are
great. Yes. There's some bits that had me howling. I can never get over Mescal running up the
stairs. That was a ridiculous, an excited Terrier. Legitimately a kid with crayons in his pocket
and his mama just dropped a new notepad on the kitchen counter. He ran up them stairs
like no man's business. It was amazing. It's like, buddy, you're a gladiator. You could
die in 30 seconds. This is how you want to enter the arena. Thousands of people are cheering
your name. Amazing. It's amazing. I want the confidence to do that run in real life. You
know what I mean? 100% anywhere. There's tons of this stuff, but you said you had a conjecture
corner as to what happened and why you think it went this way. I'm desperate to hear that.
I do.
So I've got, I've got a couple of questions for you and I know the answer because we've
been speaking about it and it's fine. In your opinion, do you feel that this film delivered
in what it promised?
Objectively not subjectively to you and I, but objectively as a film.
In that it is a film set in the same universe as the first gladiator that continues a plot
set after the events of the first one. Right. Yes. It is a sequel to gladiator. Okay. In
that it provides a similar nylon, identical story beats and action set pieces. Yes. It
is a sequel to gladiator. Okay. It's not a sequel to the parts of gladiator I care about.
Okay. That's that's fair. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. If you, if you kind of like gladiator,
if you think it's an all right film, this is a perfectly fine sequel. Agreed. If you
really like the depth and complexity of gladiator one, this film is not for you. It is not.
It is not. What about you? I think, I think it did deliver. I think it delivered what
I'd promised. It promised a sword and sandal epic film that's a bit of an endurance test
and it has twists and turns. It's just that the twists and turns were a bit thin on the
ground for me. I mean, I'm into B movies and not supported by the characterization. I don't
at all. No, I feel like the films that I'm into B movies, cheap independent movies. I
mean, yesterday I convinced my friends to watch man Borg, which is a Stephen Kostanksky
film who he made it on less. It was less than a grand. I think it was 560 quid. He made
the film on. Okay. And it has more character development and plot armor than anything that
I saw in gladiator two. That sounds mean, right? Because it's a $350 million movie.
I enjoyed a lot of it. Fun stuff. Would I do it again? Absolutely not because my expectations
are like normal now. They're not in the ground. Yeah. I don't think I'd enjoy it as much as
a second time, the second watch through, but you know, it is what it is. It is what it
is. Would you like to know how much this has made in its opening weekend? Yeah. So, so
as of recording, it's currently Friday, the 22nd. This has been out for one full week.
So what's the current takings for its first week? Currently it's at 98, 98.9 million.
So it's, it's, it's a bee's dick away from a hundred mil. Right. Okay. In its first week,
it's not that bad. That's not that bad at all, especially considering that there will
be numbers that it's earned this week that aren't part of that accounting yet because
cinemas are slow to post numbers and all this kind of stuff. Exactly. So that's, it's doing
great. It's doing bits. I hope it's successful. I hope people get what we got from gladiator
one from this one. And again, like I say, if you thought gladiator one was fine, you
will, you will enjoy this sequel just as much. It's no more, no less. In the same way that
like if, if you thought ghostbusters were fine, you will think ghostbusters afterlife
is equally fine. If you love ghostbusters, you will adore ghostbusters afterlife. Yeah.
This is the inverse of that. Yeah. I see. I see. I see. I see. This is, this is the
sequel for people who aren't fans of the first film, which is a mind boggling thing to make.
Right. Right. Would you like to play a game? I'd love to play a game. I've got no idea
what this is. Okay. So I, in my omnipotent wisdom have found a Ridley Scott quiz. Uh,
have I done it? No. Am I prepared to do it along with you? Heck yes. Is it 25 questions
that I'll have to edit down to four for time? I think it's six questions. It's hitting me
and it's giving me ants under my skin that it's six. Just round it out. Go 10. Go five.
Go five. Go five. Because the number of the number of first speed quizzes that you've
brought to the show and you're like, it's 24 questions. I'm like, ah, at the end of
it, you find out that you're the same Disney princess. Right. Are you ready for this one?
I am. This is called, how well do you know your Ridley Scott films? Question one. This
one's a hard one straight off the bat. You ready? Yeah. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius
commander of the armies of the general of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true
emperor Marcus Aurelius father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will
have my vengeance in this life or in the next. It's on the tip of my tongue. In which iconic
Ridley Scott film did this line feature in? Is it a kingdom of heaven? Is it gladiator
or is it see Robin hood? I'm going to say gladiator. You have said gladiator. I'm going
to lock that one in. We sure with that? I'm I I'm no, but I'm going to go with it. I'm
going to trust my gut. All right, mate. This is another, this is another hard one. Prepare
yourself. Frank Lucas was an American drug trafficker who offered, who operated in Harlem
during the late, right? The late 1960s to early 1970s. He was known for cutting out
middlemen in the drug trade and buying heroin directly from its source. The golden triangle
of the Southeast Asia. So he was convicted of drug trafficking in 1976. It became an
informant. Which Ridley Scott film is based on the life of Frank Lucas? American Gangster.
Well that's not one of the multiple choice, I'm afraid, buddy. Yes, it is. It's body of
lies. American Gangster or the counselor. Right. So I'll go with American Gangster. I think
I would do that one as well, buddy. Right. Okay. Yeah. In Greek mythology, blank is a
Titan God of fire. Blank is credited with the creation of humanity from clay and of
defying the gods by stealing fire and giving it to humanity as civilization. Which Ridley
Scott's films is named after the Greek God? Is it A Prometheus? Is it B Hannibal? Or is
it C Exodus Gods and Kings? Oh my God, can you imagine if it was C and there were people
in their classics degree going. Yeah. The interesting thing about the way that Zeus
punished Exodus Gods and Kings was he tied him to a rock where a hawk could eat out his
liver every day. That's it. No, it was Prometheus. He also wasn't a Titan, but that's fine. It's
fine. Let's just breeze on. Wadi Rum, also known as the Valley of the Moon is a valley
cut into the sandstone and granite rock in Southern Jordan. I've spoken about this already.
I've ruined it. Which among the following Ridley Scott films used the location for shooting
various external scenes? Was it A Kingdom of heaven? Was it B The Martian or was it
C Blade Runner? I'm going to go with, oh, and I, I, I, you know, I was listening to
this great podcast earlier. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it was The Martian. Oh, they sound
smart and hung. Right. Which actor appeared in the role of JD, a cowboy hitchhiker in
the 1991 Ridley Scott film Thelma and Louise? Is it A Robert Downey Jr. B Leonardo DiCaprio
or C Brad Pitt? Oh, it is. I'm going to say Brad Pitt. You scored 100% of the Ridley Scott
quiz. The hardest Ridley Scott quiz known to man. This is why we have got a podcast,
you know, it's just that deep knowledge. Now we just know movies. You know what I mean?
We've got in the notes here that we're going to get into the rating, but before we do,
I'm going to do something that I know we're definitely going to cut, right? Which is this
week's comment corner. Cause I was going to say, let's go through some of the comments
on the Patreon. Yep. I've got a different comment that I want to discuss. Okay. And
it's going to be like a little mini game. You ready for this? Yeah. Let's do it. We
posted on Instagram earlier, a little mini review of the film. They cloned Tyrone, which
I watched recently and I adored, right? I've still not said it. Ross Grant said, I feel
that every film is missing Jamie Foxx as a pimp, to be honest. Ooh, yes. Now I then replied
so obviously what film would be most enhanced with Jamie Foxx as a pimp. Now I've had a
go. Yeah. I've said the zone of interest. Oh mate. I went the exact same thing. My first
thought was Schindler's List. Right. Yeah. But then Ross has come back with clearly it's
12 years a slave. Oh, that'd be a good one. That's a good one. What about the boy in the
striped pajamas? But instead of the boy in the striped pajamas, it's just Jamie Foxx
as a pimp in striped pajamas. I was thinking maybe Sophie's Choice. Oh, he has to choose
between Sophie or Sophie. Which one gone get that dick. I wasn't going to go there. Now
I was going to go to the exact same film. That's just Jamie Foxx as a pimp and has the
chat with her about which child is. Yeah. I thought it'd be interesting to invite the
listeners. Okay. To jump on board. I want to know what film would be most enhanced by
Jamie Foxx playing a pimp in the film. We've covered the obvious basis now. Now it's time
to get creative. Jurassic Park. He's in one of the enclosures. Just pimp slap in Richard
Attenborough as he goes past. Jurassic Park as one of the, one of the people in the Jeeps
and he's just assessing every dinosaur for its worth on the sexual market. Yes. How many
people want to fuck is a triceratops. Oh my God. We went to the same place. I love you.
I love you too. Okay. Yeah. I'm down for this. Yeah. I just, just, just give us the film.
Give us what you think he'd be doing. It's on the, it's on Instagram. It's a mini review
of they clone Tyrone. Get involved. I just want, I want chaos. I want chaos. What are
you rating gladiator two? So this is an interesting one because it's the first film and like,
I went to go see the crow remake and it was everything I expected it to be. Yeah. It was
pure show. I was kind of cued into like it's pure show. And like, I love the original crow,
but a remake is so far removed. It doesn't, it doesn't worsen or affect the prior work.
Do you know what I mean? Like there could be as many remakes of the crow as you like,
but the 1994 Alex Pryor's one is, is just what it is. Right. Yeah. Gladiator two, I
was struggling to like laugh quietly at quite a lot of the very serious dramatic moments
in this film. Yeah. There's a bit at the end where Paul Meskell walks back into the Coliseum
at the very end and it's playing the Lisa Gerard. And he reaches down and I'm like,
if this mother pulls out two clay figurines, oh my God, I had the same thought. I was like,
don't you dare, don't you dare. Right. Right. But I was openly laughing like the choking
the bald CGI monkey, the ridiculous performances by, I don't know you love him, but Joseph
Quinn has done dirty in this film. Yeah, he is. But he does it well. He plays up to it.
You know what I mean? Oh, it's just the worst sort of paper cut out 2D. I'm a bad guy. Man,
look here, see? Yeah. That's why I loved him. Oh, it's incredible. Camp, but in the wrong
way. And so like this is fundamentally affected one of my favorite films negatively. Yeah.
But I also recognize that for some people subjectively for me, it's awful, but objectively
it's not that bad. It's just a cheap popcorn sequel. So we're going to go three. Okay.
That's more than I thought it was going to be. I'm trying to be balanced. I'm trying
to be like, you know, it's fine. I'm going complete middle of the road. I thought it
was going to be awful. I had some fun with it. Five. It's aggressively middle of the
road. It's paper thin and then gets a bit interesting. There's some fun stuff in there.
Yeah. Five. Nothing more, nothing less. I will say, I will echo your thoughts. If you
enjoyed this film, you are right. Thousand percent. I am jealous of you and I don't have
a single bad word to say about your love for this film. Anyone loving a thing is always
a good thing. Oh, definitely. It's just not for me. It's just not for me. I just, I really,
really didn't like it. Same. Unfortunately, buddy, that is all the time we have for this
week. It is. I know I'm going to go, I'm going to go celebrate my birthday. Yeah. Cause you're
36 finally. You're finally a real boy. You're finally grown up. I'm getting there, man.
You know what I mean? Getting there with your bit of your lung missing. My one lung and
my one weird knee and the involuntary noises I make when I stand up. I've done this entire
episode sitting in a dressing gown, mate. You know what I mean? I'm 36 on a Friday night
and I'm in my dressing gown at 7 PM. I can't believe that earlier you were like, Oh, my
lung collapsed and it really changed how I viewed life. Because I was like, if this guy,
if this is Ben's first concept of mortality, I'm going to flip the table and guess what
you led with? I wasn't aware that I was a human being that was capable of death. No,
no. I legitimately up until up until yesterday, hashtag blessed, hashtag built different.
I mean, I could crack an egg with my bicep and sniff a creatine. You know what I mean?
Right. Right. Yeah. Except if you have a slightly, slightly too strong fizzy green drink at the
gym, then you have an existential crisis. That means again, you can't do your bit of
the work because you know, I did it. I just, I did it very quick, but also the apps in
my skin helped me type. That's all it was. All right. Okay. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Well,
yeah. Thanks, man.
Keep saying this and I'm starting to take offense to it. Genuinely, genuinely nearly died and
I've put in so much work for this shit. And you're like, yeah, fuck all though.
Happy birthday. Thanks, man. Yeah. I'm seeing you soon. I'm seeing you soon. I'm coming up.
We're going to do a quiz. We need to do a promo for this. Um, every movie ever are doing a live
movie quiz. We're going to be in person. It's going to be a film quiz at the boardroom gaming
cafe in Telford on the 7th of December. It's technically our first ever live show. It's going
to be amazing. Yeah. It's going to be on our discord that wants to come. Come along. Come
along. We'll fuck it. I'll it's like two quid a person. It's amazing. There's cheesecake.
I can't wait, mate. I can't wait. I'm desperately looking forward to it, but we are definitely
out of time now. We are. Let's, let's do the thing where you, you, you yell and I'll do my
sums ups. Oh, we've got, yeah. Okay. So, uh, I, I normally kick off you. You normally go,
it's been a pleasure and a privilege to hang out. Oh yeah. Each and every one of you. And then I
go, but that all still stands though, you know, you've not said it yet. We do love each and every
one of you and we do thank you for hanging out with us endlessly. Your, your attention,
your gratification, your validation of our existences is the one thing that's keeping my
half lung a bit inflated. You know what I mean? It really is. Cause I'm just rinsing in for it.
The little snowflake toy. I, in the meantime, uh, while Ben gives you all the love and adoration,
I'm going to thank you. No, no, that's not right. Ben is now going to thank you for spending an
hour of your week with us, especially at the start of the week. We know a lot of you listen on a
Monday, um, by wrapping up the thoughts, deep subtext and subtle emotions of gladiator two
into a little Monday motivation pep talk. While I just tell you to do what society always tells you
to do and just tell you to consume. Listen, if you are lucky enough to have two fully functioning
lungs, I need you to find the nearest staircase, sprint up them like mescal with a pocket full of
crayons and a mama that's just dropped a fresh colouring pad on the kitchen table. You run up
them like a, like a Lego figurine hot on the trails of a tasty chicken dinner. You know what
I mean? That's, that's what we need to do. I think the lesson that we can all take from gladiator two
is that lungs are more important than we thought previously. I think that's one thing that I took
away from.