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Hello everyone and welcome to the Every Movie Ever podcast. My name is Ben Groves. And my

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name is Rob Macfarlane. Welcome to the show. A mental health check in, masquerading as

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a movie podcast. Two broken brain boys just using film to laugh at stuff. You are a shambles

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without this fucking, without the pre-product. Do you know what it is, mate? Do you know

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what it is? I'm just buzzing for this episode. I'm buzzing. But before we get to what we're

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doing, how are you doing, Ben? I'm having chest pains again, man. Don't bring that up

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because that's serious and bitch don't kill my vibe. No, it's not like, it's not as bad

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as before, but now it's like weird little stabby pains. Do you know what I mean? Right.

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So you went to the GP for the first lot, right? Remember a couple months back when I was like,

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go to the... No, I just outlived it because I'm strong. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Great, great,

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great, great. No, I'm terrified of doctors. So I didn't go. Yeah. And now I won't go again,

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but that's how I am. I'm doing good. Okay. Well, other than that, I'm fucking great,

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man, to be honest. Really good. Fantastic. Really good. How are you? I'm giddy. I'm giddy.

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So for those of you tuning in for the first time, Ben and I normally do quite a, well,

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a relatively structured show where, you know, we'll watch a film a couple of times. We'll

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write some little headlines of notes. We'll both think about what we want to say. We'll

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have some informed insight, you know, and it will be like a well-produced show. Yeah.

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There'll be segments. There'll be whole bunches of stuff. This, I've literally finished watching

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the Crow remake 35 minutes ago. Yeah. I still, I feel bad for you, bud. I feel bad for you,

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man. No, because here's what we're going to do. We've put as much preparation and production

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and planning and forethought into this episode as the makers of the Crow remake have. Yeah.

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It's a meta episode, buddy. And I am buzzing. Welcome to the meta episode where there's

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no plan. This is just, we've got notes. We've got a breakdown. This is perfect for this

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film. I've, I've written a breakdown. Yeah. I've put very little effort into it because

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I feel like as I was writing it, I was just getting like, what's the point? Right. You

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know what I mean? Like I was, I was mirroring the film. What's the point? Ben, I can see

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here there's three paragraphs. Yeah. And I think that is more writing than there is in

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the film. And I also would have gone, do you know what? Do you know what? Why am I putting

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more effort than the 17 executive producers? That's exactly it. That's exactly it. As the

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opening credits were playing, I was like, there's a lot of chefs working on this soup.

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Yeah. There's like, yeah, it just keeps going. Executive production. And then you go, okay,

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executive production. And then another phrase, Oh, executive production. So let's see what

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one of these executive producers managed to write for breakdown. Shall we, Ben? Yeah.

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Let's jump in, man. Let's jump in. Right. So, um, all right. I'm living the dream right

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now. Part one, tragic beginnings. Ooh. The story opens with Eric Draven played by Bill

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Skarsgard and his girlfriend, Shelly FKA twigs trying to rebuild their lives after meeting

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in a rehab center. Shelly is haunted by a video that shows her being forced to commit

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murder under the influence of Vincent rogue, a possessed by the devil yet void of any personality

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crime Lord. Their new found happiness is short lived as rogue's men track them down, leading

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to their brutal murders. Ben, how is this the crow? We lost top dollar for this old

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man who's like, I live long and I whisper, no, he's a bad guy. His surname is rogue,

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but they've spelled it weird. Yeah. Yeah. Part two resurrection and vengeance after

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their deaths. Eric is resurrected by a supernatural entity named Kronos. Is he? Yeah. Ben, I've

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literally just come out of this film. He doesn't say his name once. No one says his name once

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had to research it. It was pissing me off. Dude, it's stupid. It gets worse. Continue.

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Guided by this spirit, Eric has granted powers of invulnerability to seek revenge against

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rogue and his men. These powers remain with him as long as his love for Shelly remains

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true. Stupid. However, as Eric uncovers more about Shelly's involvement in the murder,

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he momentarily loses his powers, but then strikes a deal with Kronos. You have to find

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out his name on the internet to sacrifice his soul in exchange for Shelly's resurrection,

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regaining his abilities to complete his mission. Part three. That sigh in your face. The final

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confrontation. Eric embarks on a bloody path of revenge, ultimately confronting rogue in

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an opera house. Despite rogue's attempt to overpower him with his demonic whispers, Eric's

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love for Shelly allows him to triumph. He drags rogue into the afterlife where rogue

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is condemned to eternal hell. It sounds dope as fuck, but it's piss weak. It's really poor.

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In the film's disappointing conclusion, Shelly is resurrected, but Eric's human form perishes,

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leaving him content in the afterlife, hopeful that their souls will one day reunite.

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Yeah. Now, Ben, before we get into the meat of the film we've got, right? Yeah. I would

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very much like to just do a quick recap. Sure. Of what happened since this film was announced

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in 2009. Okay. Yeah. Hit me with it. So Stephen Norrington was attached in 2009 with Mark

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Wahlberg starring. Yes. By 2011, they scrapped that. They had Juan Carlos Fresnadillo directing

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with Bradley Cooper starring, but that was only for the first half of 2011 because by

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mid 2011 Bradley Cooper had dropped out and Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling or James McAvoy

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were all rumored. Wow. Fuck those rumors because by 2012 it was Francisco Javier Gutierrez

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directing with Tom Hiddleston starring, but Hiddleston drops out in 2013. Alexander Skarsgars

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was rumored, but actually Luke Evans got cast. So in 2015, Corin Hardy was directing with

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Jack Huston starring, but that was only for the first half of 2015 because Jack Huston

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dropped out. Right. Got you. Nicholas Holt and Jack O'Connell were then rumored. Oh God.

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Corin Hardy still directing, but now it's Jason Momoa and it's called The Crow Reborn.

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Incredible. But that gets cancelled in 2016. So now it's 2022. We've got Rupert Sanders

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directing and Bill Skarsgård starring. Right. So it's a really simple how we got here. A

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hundred percent. So you remember last week when we did The Curse of the Crow and it's

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like all the horrible shit happened on the right film and now it's like the not so horrible

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shit has been gifted to the wrong film. It's like, do you know what I mean? It's a hard

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way to phrase that. I feel like I might have worded it poorly, but my intention is correct.

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You know what I mean? Having literally just come out of this film, I am very confused

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because it's... Spoiler buddy. It doesn't get easier with time. Nothing makes sense over

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time. Right. It's not enough of a remake of The Crow to bother needing the title. No,

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it's not. Exactly. It doesn't need The Crow and the fucking title. It could be called

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anything and everyone's like, oh, okay, that's fine. My theory was, and again, this is all

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brand fresh. He's kind of a street rat, right? Yeah. He's a bit gray morally. Yeah. They

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could call it The Pigeon. Ooh, that could be quite good. And then it could just be a

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pigeon that brings him back. And the whole thing could be like FKA Twigs. He's trying

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to make a nest. Ooh, okay. Right? She's his nest. I don't think pigeons make nests out

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of twigs, if I'm honest with you mate. Oh mate, I've seen some photos of pigeons. They

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are the shittest nest builders. That's what I mean. In nature. Yeah. I don't think they

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use proper builder materials. I think it's mainly like Chris Packets and Homeless Tears.

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And R&B singers. You know what I mean? It's just Chris Packets and Bucktooth R&B singers.

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Yeah, essentially. I came out of this, I was very confused in the way where I was like,

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I get it was the crow and I get the characters were the same, but I felt like as a sober

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man, my main takeaway was, fuck rehab, let's run away and do a bunch of drugs. And I was

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like, five years ago, fuck yeah, I'm in it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Teenage Ben would

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have been like, yeah, man, these guys are so cool. Yeah. These guys are so cool. But

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as an adult, 35 year old me, I'm like, you need a book. You need to read. That was my

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issue. So I'm watching our new Eric Draven and our new Shelley. Yeah. I'm looking at

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them going, these guys are fucking losers, huh? Yeah. Like I wouldn't hang out with these

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people. Yeah, that's what it was. I was like, I don't want to be, I don't care about these

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people. I don't want to be around them. Because in the original, in 1994, Shelley owns her

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flat. Yes. And she's organized a homeowners association to protest against the terrible

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conditions and Eric's in a quasi successful rock band. Yes. And in the remake, they are

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both just drug addicts. They're drug addicts in a rehab center that escape from a rehab

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center to go and do drugs. But also in the original, they're engaged. They've been together

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for a long time. You get flashbacks to this very rich, very full of love history. Committed

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relationship. Committed relationship. You can, you can feel the love dripping from this

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guy. The chemistry is immense in this one. They may go, yeah, man. I'm into that. Yeah.

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It's a fucking, that's exactly what it is. It's a coke fling. Yeah. Mate, how many of

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those have we had in our lives, Ben? I know for a fact, I would, if one of your coke flings

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died back in the day, I've never had a coke fling. You'd have called me up and we'd have

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been wrapping her up in a rug in 20 minutes and it would have been job done. The only

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coke fling I've ever had is with cocaine. Right. That's all, that's all the coke fling.

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That's all the coke fling I've ever needed. I've been sort of like, Ooh, hello. Fancy

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hanging out again. So I think I, I understand what they were trying to do. I do. In the

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first movie, have you ever heard of the term fridging? You've told me what fridges before.

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It was a while ago. Was this when we were talking about Twilight? No, that was soaking

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and that's a normal thing. Yeah. Fridging is a different thing. Fridging is a sort of

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trope in storytelling where somebody is killed at the very start and their only real purpose

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in the plot is to provide motivation for someone else. Oh yeah. We, we had a big, we had a

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big talk about this. Okay. So it's like Shelley in the first one has no agent, has very little

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agency and autonomy or character arc. Shelley exists to provide the male character a reason

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to do stuff. Right. Yeah. And it's a valid thing to criticize in today's storytelling.

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We've kind of moved forward a little bit and I can see them wanting to build the character

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of Shelley into, to kind of show the romance, right? Not just flash back to it and do like

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a promise you it was great. Yeah. I can see them wanting to go, no, no, no, let's, let's

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actually demonstrate that. Yeah. They then cast two people who have less chemistry than

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like two inert gases. Oh God. It's, it's painful, man. It's painful. Like scars guards got more

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chemistry with his coat than he does with FKA twigs. Dude, he, he looks at that coat

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so lovingly for a long amount of time. And I'm like, if you did that to your Mrs, I might

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buy into this. Do you know what I mean? Like he's like, honestly, he's looking at that

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duster. Like he's about to rub one out on the duster. He's looking, he's like you looking

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at a bowler hat. Do you know what I mean? He's all about it. It was a brief phase in

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uni, Ben. It was a brief phase. I tried it. I looked at myself in the mirror, loved it.

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And then the bowler hat. Carried on for about a year. Then retired the bowler hat when people

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were like, that man is wearing a bowler hat. And you were like, Oh my God, I'm that man.

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Yes. Okay. Then. Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. It's all right. I went through, I went through

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a flat cap phase. You know, you know this because you knocked one off my head whilst

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I was pissing into the urinal. Laughed whilst I actively pissed on my flat cap and then

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left the room. Yeah. I only went into the toilet to do that as well. That was the big

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thing I'd forgotten. I forgot until you reminded me live on air that I walked into the gents,

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knocked your hat into the urinal and then left again. Yeah. But you tell it like it's

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a cheeky little thing. No, I was pissing. You knocked it into my active stream of piss.

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Come on. It's still funny. What are we doing? What film is this? This is, this is possibly

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the most misjudged remake that I can think of. And the reason, as I was watching it,

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I realised the only people that were sat next to me, there was about four people in the

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same cinema screen as me. Yeah. We had four people when we went to go watch it too. Yeah.

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They were all my age. They were all kind of gothy. Yeah. I was like the only people that

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are going to be interested in this film are fans of the original. Yeah. But this isn't

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catered to anything towards the original. No it is not. This is let us take the original

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and not even ignore it. Let's actively pervert it into like an inverse of what it was. Let's

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pretend the original didn't exist and then just repackage it as something brand spanking

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new. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's like re-editing

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star wars and releasing it as star wars and going, yeah, well we kind of wanted to like

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pretend the original didn't exist. So we made the original again, but worse. Yeah. It's

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like going to watch top gun. If someone's like, do you want to go watch star wars? And then

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they put on top gun maverick. Like it's the same film. It's just not star wars. You know

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what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what if instead of fiancees, they were druggies on

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a bender? Yeah. And what about instead of a long lasting relationship that spans years,

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how about they meet each other for 40 minutes and he decides to fuck up his entire life

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and run away. What if instead of Eric Draven being the only supernatural element and the

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very real, very gritty crime world around him is forced to react to this sudden, sudden

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explosion of the supernatural into their lives, confirming that not only is there is an afterlife,

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but that it is angry and coming to kill you. Yeah. What if they were all demons? Yeah.

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So what about if not only are there now spirit guides, much like Derek Acora had for our

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English fans. Now, now that's going to, that joke is going to bomb in America. No one's

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going to fucking understand that at all. Please Google it. Just Google, just Google Derek

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Acora most haunted and just look, look up his man pretending to talk to someone who

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is fucking amazing. It was the best TV show ever. It was so good. Rest in peace. He's

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my spirit guide now. Right. Yeah. But other, other changes. There was tons of shit. There

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was, I forgot what I was saying from on hysterical chorus. Okay. What he always does. What if

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the first half of the movie, right? Akingly slow and then cuts to hyperviolence with people

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getting their head samurai sorted in half. I've got a theory on this. I've got a theory

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on this. Right. I think what might've happened is there was, uh, there was like test screenings

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and the, uh, what they did is they were doing like, they were measuring in a amount of yarn

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per hour. So what they were doing, they were, they would allow for like six yarns for the

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first half an hour. And as soon as they hit the seventh one, they're like, now we need

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to slap in some violence. That's where we need to keep them on. They're about to leave.

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We need to keep them there on the, on the promise of violence. And then it's another

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half an hour of fucking boring waffle. That means nothing to anyone. That's a really good

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theory. Yeah. I think it implies more effort. Yeah. A thousand present. I think we'll actually

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happened is they got the writers together and the 19 executive producers and they just

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went around the room and they were like, right, everybody just say an idea that you'd like

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to see in the crow movie. Yep. And they had a big whiteboard and they all wrote their

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stuff on the whiteboard. And then the writers sat there for another nine months, finessing

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that. And then just as they were about to do the first draft, it was the release date.

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Someone had nicked the whiteboard and just shot whatever was on there. Thousand percent.

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I can, I'll buy into that one more than mine. Because there's, there's about nine different

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genres in this film, none of which are connected. None of which compliment one another. But

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it also, it also, all of it calls to like new modern movies that are all also shit.

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Do you know what I mean? Like the first, the bit after rehab, like so rehab and the bit

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after rehab, I was thinking this just feels like I'm watching bodies, bodies, bodies,

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but you, if you haven't seen it, don't. It's fucking, it's shocking. Don't bother with

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it. It's shit. I went to the cinema too. I was like, I cannot believe I sat around for

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the end of this film. I've just wasted two hours of my life. And it also, if you do like

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bodies, I'm sorry, but you're wrong. The, I felt like I was watching bodies, bodies,

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bodies for the first bit. And then it kind of drifts into this weird fantasy, this weird

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dark fantasy sort of like underworld ish, but not quite underworld. Yeah. Kind of like,

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it's not horror. It's horror adjacent. It is. And therefore it counts as scary because

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it's, it's like Halloween scary. It's like film franchise, but like Walmart Halloween

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decoration. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, skeletons. Woo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bit like that.

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And then it's, and then it goes like super fucking edge Lord. Like, oh, I know you cracked

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a joke. You were like, oh, you hate the whole edge or stuff. I'm surprised you like the

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original crow. And I'm like, yeah, cause it's tongue in cheek. It knows what it is. And

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it's fucking leaning into it. Yeah. It's a fun, it's a fun romp. This removes all the

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fun element and it's just sort of like, Oh, goth doc grim doc. Oh, I would die for you.

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You've known each other for a month. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. You're all terrible

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people. All of you, your friends are terrible people. You're terrible people. I don't care

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about any of you, please resign. And then you've got this sort of the end, which is

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like fucking machete fucked sin city. And it's this beautiful melge of like hyperviolence

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and ridiculous scenarios with like, he walks into an opera house with a fucking Katana

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and isn't stopped once that it's an America. There has got to be metal detectors everywhere.

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His prick doesn't walk into a fucking opera house with an open, an unsheathed Katana sword

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that is full of henchmen and a demon possessed old bastard. There is not one fucking shot

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that he gets as far as does anyway. Anyway, it's not even that. It's the fact that there

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is about 40 goons firing guns at him. Yeah. And no one in the opera house goes, God, it's

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a bit noisy outside. Should we tell them to keep it down? Oh my God. It's the loudest

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opera that exists. Apparently it's the loudest opera that exists there outside open curtains.

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They're not even fucking doors. I love this bit when the drums kick in really slaps. Yeah.

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Great. Fantastic. What the fuck are we doing? Just I, I, right. I check out a films the

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second the story doesn't make sense. And I was, I was trying to give this the benefit

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of the doubt for as long as I could, for as long as I could. And bear in mind the original

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crow night and night four is fresh in my mind. So I'm like, it's got, it's got a fucking,

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it's got a high peak to live up to. Do you know what I mean? Big set of shoes to fill.

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And I was giving it the benefit of the doubt and I was holding out hope and I was holding

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out hope. And honestly, like we just sat there and we're like, I've, I've given up this,

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I don't understand what this is. I don't understand what this is. I don't know which way it's

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trying to take me. It's trying to pull me in four different directions at once. Am I

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supposed to be sad? Am I supposed to be feeling like, Oh my God, Oh, their love is so intense.

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This is great. Am I supposed to be rooting for someone? Because if so, who it's supposed

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to be like an anti hero kind of noir revenge story, right? Where's the, where's the anti

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hero? I just, just cocks, just cocks as far as I can see. It's just a fucking book hockey

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video at this point. I'm like, I don't know which Dick I'm supposed to be rooting for

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here. Like fucking just give me the shot. Let me go. I think, I think it's, it's an

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interesting relic of 2006. I think when we were growing up and I was having a bowl of

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hot phase, right? It was there. Somebody came along and said, well, the Marilyn Manson's

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big and slipknot's big. And there's like, there's like an emo scene. Yeah. Do you know

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what would really, do you know what would make a bunch of money? It's a remake of the

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crow, but like a big dollar version, like a top dollar version, top dollar version.

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Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it just got stuck in development hell because fundamentally

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it's not a film you should remake. It was not only of its time, but it's the last film

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of Brandon Lee's life. This is what I mean. This is my final point. I was saying, I was

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saving this until the end because in my fucking notes it is, this is the lifelong. It's the,

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it's the culmination of an actor's entire working life. And they're just like, nah,

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fuck it. Just, you know what I mean? Let's just chuck someone out. And then they released

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this and I'm like, it's the biggest fuck you I can think of. Shitting on his grave would

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be less offensive. Do you know what I mean? So Alex Proyar, the director of the original

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1994 crow has said that he's not going to, he's not going to watch the remake because

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he thinks it's too disrespectful. But here's my point. He doesn't know half the story,

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mate. Right. I think if they'd made this when you and I were young teenagers going around

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Camden buying bowler hats, right? Don't drag me into that shit. I never once had a bowler

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hat. You can fucking have your bowler hat phase. I hated you for that. Yeah. Okay. But

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you had your multi-colored hair and your spiky, but you had four spiky belts, Ben. Dude, jeans

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are still around your knees. It was bottom of my ass. And yeah, admittedly, right. I

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did have, I had crazy hair. Listen, we hated each other for different reasons, right? If

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they'd made a remake of the crow back then, you'd have turned up and you'd be like, yeah,

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this is sick. Yeah. A hundred percent. But so would have you. Samurai saws. Yeah. We

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both would have done. Yeah. But it spent so long in development hell. And Alex Proyar

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has the perfect quote here. He said, I thought the remake was a cynical cash grab, not much

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cash to grab. It seems. What a fucking lad. What a lad. Oh, I love him so much. I love

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him so much, dude. Talking on that. Have you seen the figures? No, tell me, tell me. I'll

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give you the figures of today. Hold on. So I've just looked at the numbers. It makes

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me so happy. It makes me so happy. So, so you've just seen this film. What would you

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say the budget was? Right. There's a fair bit of what I would say rushed CGI. There's

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a fair bit of practical effects. Yeah. And there's a fair bit of stunt casting. Like

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Bill Skarsgard was kind of hot off the back of the it franchise. So I'm going to say 30

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mil, 40 mil. All right. Yeah. Sound still a little south of the mark there, buddy. The

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budget on this alone was 50 million or 50 million. And I'm going to give you, I'm going

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to give you one. I'm going to give you two guesses onto where the box office numbers

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are right now worldwide. I want global worldwide box office number. Give me your best guess.

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Give me two of your best guesses. It's been out a week. It has been out one week. How

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much do you think it's made it open in? Let's say 25 mil. Okay. Well, give me your second

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guess. 15. Okay. Wow. You are fucking generous. Okay. So on its opening, just because of the,

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okay. So on opening weekend, it made 4.6 million and that equates to 82% of the total amount

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of money that it has made to date. No. So far it is standing at 5.6 million, which is

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0.1 times the production budget. Oh my God. Oh my God. Can't shit the bed harder than

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that. Do you know what I mean? It's insane. It's fucking insane. So when I was doing a

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bit of research on this, right, I honestly, I tried my hardest to research this film and

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I was, I was going back and forth and there was, there was debates online and 99% of the

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things that I came across always ended up on Reddit and it always ended up on being

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sort of like, how could we have let this happen? The main takeaway, right? And it's understandable.

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And I get that people are going to like this and that's fine. That's fine. You can enjoy

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this and I'm glad that you enjoy this, but you're wrong. Sorry. But what I am going to

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do right is I'm going to, I'm going to defend this film because it's, it's doing, it's doing

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its job to help round out a new sub genre. It's a very recent sub genre of horror that

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has come about and it's called awful fucking remakes of classic films. And there is a lot

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of them and I'm just going, I've done a bit of research into that instead, cause that

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was way more fun than looking at this piece of shit. Right. So Friday the 13th, yeah.

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Fantastic franchise purely like it peaks and troughs and then it fucking peaks right again

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with Jason X. You know what I mean? It goes full stupid. They remade it, disrespected

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everything about it, put it out. It was absolute dog water nightmare and Elm street classic

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campy fun horror franchise implied implied pedophile leaves it open to you. Do you know

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what I mean? It's very sort of like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. They remade it.

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It's in the subtext. It's in the subtext. They remade it out and out said it made it

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like a fucking, and took all the fucking fun and camp out of it and just made it like a

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weird, weird, because it's a little bit difficult to sit there and go, Oh, isn't he just one

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of those like villains you love to hate when he's actual pedo? Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

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It's like, it's like my next T-shirt of him just being like, Hey, Freddy. Exactly. That's

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what I'm saying. No one's walking around in a nightmare on Elm street remake shirt with

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Freddy's face on it because you're actively supporting child molestation. But then that

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leads me into it. You made a great point then you can't make a pedophile, a fun love to

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hate and villain the same way that you can't make a dog killer, a hero, like an evil dead

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fed a dog killer can never be the fucking hero. Another shitty horror remake. Wrong

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turn. Shitty horror remake. Last house on the left. Shitty horror remake. Carrie. Why

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did that need to get remade? No one fucking knows. House of wax. Glad it did though. No

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other film shows your Paris Hilton dying. I don't think. Haven't cared to look into

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it because it's shit. Hills of eyes. Why the fuck was that remade? That was a perfect film.

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Hills of eyes was great. Why would they, ah, the crazies. Why remake that poltergeist?

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Yeah. That's just remake. remake poltergeist. Yes. It's shit. The grudge. Shit. The ring.

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Shit. Hell raiser. Aggressively mediocre. Texas chainsaw massacre. Shut the fuck up.

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Old boy. They Americanized old boy. That's not even a horror, but I'm still pissed about

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it. Dude, there are so many times. I'm really trying. I'm actually dizzy. I'm actually

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taking my glasses off. I'm sweating. Sweating man. But honestly, it's a new genre that

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this is fucking added into it. And the crow sits in that genre beautifully. And it's not

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a genre that I enjoy, but it is a genre. And it's nice to see that the studios are going,

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what can we really invest into? Should we invest into new films and new ideas? And they're

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like, no, because it's a risk. Well, what can we lean into? How about this endless list

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of shitty remakes that are just cashing in on people's nostalgia? How about that? And

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everyone's like, yeah, fuck it. I've got a grand point to sum all of that up that just

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strikes me right. Okay. And top of my head stuff here. So bear with me. It's going to

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be messy. I'm going to have to get the shit out of this. Yeah. Make it make any sort of

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sense. But here's the thing. I think for the longest time, the thing that we're really

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struggling against is the a morality of capitalism. Capitalism doesn't care if the film is good

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or bad. All it cares about is if you turn up. Right? Yeah. So the shitty horror remake

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exploits a loophole in people turning up just to check it shit. I've just gone and given

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the Crow remakes and box office figures so I can confirm what I already knew. I knew

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it was going to be shit, but I had to go just in case. And it's this constant drive, more

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profit. Doesn't matter if it's good. Doesn't matter if it's bad. Doesn't matter if this

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puts micro plastic into the ocean. It's going to make us money. Doesn't matter if oil's

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burning the planet. It makes us money. Doesn't matter if the Crow remake just shits on the

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legacy of a man who died making this film. Yep. It's going to make some money. Yeah.

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Except for that one backfired a little bit though, didn't it? Kind of nice to see. But

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it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because for every, every one of the Crow remake, there's

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going to be one that just makes a couple mil. And do you know what? Do you know what? There's

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something to be applauded about the Crow remake. Yeah. Let's hear it. And there's nothing in

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the film. Trust me. There's nothing in it. I was going to say, cause I'm fucking drawing

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a blank on this one there. I was desperate to hear that one. I was like, I'm going to

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shoot the shit out of this one. Professionalism. Okay. Professionalism. Okay. Every single person

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involved in the making of this film, the camera people, the sound editor, all the below the

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line crew, right? Yeah. They turned up and the contract was you're going to help us make

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this film and we're going to give you some money and you're not going to walk off because

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you've agreed to do it. Yeah. Right. You're going to do follow through with what you said

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you were going to do. Bill Skarsgard signed a deal and said, yep, I'll do this. Let's

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see how it turns out. And about two weeks into the process, I'm sure everybody knew

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everybody fucking knew what they were doing, but you know what everyone did? They stayed

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professional. They stuck with it and they turned up to work knowing that they were making

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a massive piece of shit, knowing that they were damaging their reputation. They went,

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do you know what? I said, I'd do it. So I will. They followed through and that is to

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be commended. If you're going to take a shit, you may as well stand next to it. And when

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someone goes, is that shit yours? Go, yeah, sorry. I did done goof. Yeah. That's fair.

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I can, I can applaud that. I think the, I think everyone involved in the film did a

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great job of what they had. It's just a shame that what they had was the equivalent of watching

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a homeless man sculpt a stray dog out of his own feces outside of a restaurant. You know

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what I mean? So I have a question for you. Go on. Do you think we are reaching in film

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and in cinema, the point where most of the approachable, enjoyable stories have been

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told so many times that we have to do remakes? No, no, no, I truly don't. I think every,

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I think every day I, there are so many films out there. And I mean this like sincerely,

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there are so many films out there with bat shit, insane storylines that I would in no

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universe have ever been able to conceive in my entire life. You can give me 10,000 lifetimes

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and there is not, there is not a timeline where I could conceive of some of the movies

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that are out there. I feel like the era that we're in at the moment in, in cinema, it's

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very much the home market's dead. Like physical media is dead. It's now down to like collectors

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and nostalgia addicts and it's a shame, but it's, it's, you know, money talks at the end

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of the day and the home video market makes no fucking money anymore. Fine. We're in the

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streaming era, right? People want to sit in the living rooms. They want to pay a nine

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pound a month subscription fee and they want access to a hundred thousand films that they

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can never watch because it takes two and a half hours to pick what fucking film to watch.

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Right. That's, that's the new entertainment and that's fine. Like I'm all right with it

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because I enjoy streaming services. I do it a lot myself, but without the physical sales,

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without the people going to the theater, without this, I knew that the studios have to make,

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they have to take calculated risks. They do. And the calculated risks that they're looking

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at is what gets bums in seats. Yeah. What gets people into the theater. What can we,

370
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:58,280
what can we put as the title? That means people will come just to say that it is shit. Exactly.

371
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,040
And I think the reason that we're here is it's our fault. It's our fault that we're

372
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,840
here because we've bought into convenience over anything else, which is fine. Again,

373
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:13,280
it's fine. It's going to happen, but all they're doing is they're looking at, we need people

374
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:18,960
who grew up going to the theater, the fresh popcorn smell, the excitement of sitting in

375
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,600
a room full of strangers, not knowing what you're going to get or sitting there for a

376
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:27,120
great time. You know, I mean, everyone having the same experience coming out of it, similar

377
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,960
to a concert, right? Yeah, I get that. No one knows anyone, but everyone is there for

378
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:35,200
the same reason. And you're, all of you together are united for a short period of time. And

379
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:39,400
it's whether it's a good experience or a bad experience, you all have a takeaway from that,

380
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,480
that bonds you all in that moment. And I think that's a beautiful thing. The theater does

381
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:49,000
the same. Cinema does the same. Yep. And what they do is studios can look at the heyday,

382
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,840
the cinema's heyday. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that's a time that's never going

383
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,200
to come back. And if they do that, they're just going to make flops. But this is, this

384
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:01,060
is the point though. It is never going to come back. But you know what would come back?

385
00:36:01,060 --> 00:36:07,800
The people who miss going to watch Friday the 13th on the big screen. There isn't, there

386
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:11,800
isn't. There's not enough of us to support an industry anymore. But there's more of us

387
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:18,000
nostalgia fucking hounds desperate to get back in and relive the glory days. Yeah. Because

388
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,040
people who are willing to sit on their sofa and just watch any old shit for nine, and

389
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:27,440
a month. Yeah. Because here's my point. I don't, and here's why. Because I worked in

390
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:32,300
an industry that was decimated by the streaming era. Because when, before I got into music,

391
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:36,520
when I was a young lad full of piss and vinegar, and I was like, yeah, I'm going to go work

392
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:41,600
in the music industry. And the way I envisioned the music industry working was the way it

393
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:45,920
worked for the 20 years prior, right? Yeah, definitely. A band would rent a studio for

394
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:50,080
four or five weeks. Yep. And for those four or five weeks, they would record the songs

395
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:55,000
they'd written. Everyone would sort of pull together, create this bit of music, this sort

396
00:36:55,000 --> 00:37:00,560
of 45 minutes, you know, labor over it, give it love. You just do it in that place, in

397
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,600
that time, in that room, on that equipment with those people. Yeah. At the end of the

398
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,320
four weeks, you'd send it off to get mixed off, it would get mixed, then it would go

399
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,080
into the charts and sell. Sure. And it would make money and blah, blah, blah. I got into

400
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:18,320
the industry. None of that was true anymore. It was people emailing each other files to

401
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:23,440
be worked on on laptops by themselves. Yep. Coming for two days, they record all the drums.

402
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,280
And the reason for that was, is the money was gone because it used to be that you'd

403
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:32,640
sell an album for 15 quid. Yep. And now what would happen is someone would buy it on iTunes,

404
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:36,760
they'd buy the one song they like, they'd buy the single for 65p. Yeah. And what it

405
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:42,160
removed was the middle class. You could be an unsigned artist and there's millions of

406
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:47,200
them now on the internet. You can go on YouTube and you can find an artist who's making two

407
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:53,360
grand a month, which is a sustainable income. You can be a musician earning 30 grand a year,

408
00:37:53,360 --> 00:38:00,920
or you can be Drake or Beyonce. What you can't be is an artist earning a hundred grand and

409
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:05,120
you need to be an artist earning a hundred grand to have that creative freedom. Cause

410
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:10,680
an artist earning 30 grand goes, I'm going to give them exactly what they want and not

411
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:15,440
experiment because I can't fucking afford to. Exactly. Exactly. And that's where I think

412
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:20,480
cinema is heading. I'm, I'm agreeing with you. I'm agreeing with you wholeheartedly. So taking,

413
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:26,360
taking the music industry analogy there. So being a stream and is dead, being a stream

414
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:31,080
and is here and like the whole fucking, you know, home market's gone now. Yep. How many

415
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:37,560
last world tours of kiss done? I went to their third final tour, right? How many re-releases

416
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:42,520
of, of classic movies are we going to get? This is what I mean though. This is what I

417
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:47,520
mean. It's nostalgia hounds that are funding kiss because they're only fuck all from streaming.

418
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:52,200
They don't earn anything. So they have to do another last tour. Cause they're like,

419
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:58,740
fuck. Gene Simmons has got like what? 105, 105 illegitimate children that he's paying

420
00:38:58,740 --> 00:39:02,200
alimony for. Do you know what I mean? Child support is expensive when you're in your eighties.

421
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,640
Do you know what I mean? He's got a jump out on stage into a fucking harness and be flung

422
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:10,880
out across an audience. Dude, he's literally in his eighties. He's going to that's broken

423
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:16,380
pelvis. You're going to snap. That's what I mean. I think, I think studios are at a point

424
00:39:16,380 --> 00:39:20,520
where they're like, right streaming service. We put out the safe shit. We put out the same

425
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:25,160
rom-com that we've seen a thousand times, but with prettier people, newer actors. And

426
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:29,240
we put them on Hawaii. Oh, this time we put them in Fiji or this time it's at a wedding

427
00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:33,160
or this time there's a bit of a time loop. And then that's their fucking bank. They earn

428
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,480
the money there. Yeah. And then what they're doing with the cinema side of stuff is they're

429
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:41,040
like, well, let's try and fucking, you know, back in the hay day we had alien, we had Friday

430
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,740
things, we had evil dead. We had the fucking grudge coming over from Japan. We had Hills

431
00:39:44,740 --> 00:39:48,640
have eyes from seventies. All this shit was coming out. Let's, let's just fucking do that.

432
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:52,560
Let's just do that because we'll get the fans of that franchise already in the theater.

433
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:57,200
We can bank on that fandom going, fuck yeah, man. More of what I love. Let's jump into

434
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,760
that fucking train. And then that's a great, it's a great investment because it's worked

435
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:06,880
every time I've seen 90% of that list that I said out loud in the cinema. I've seen,

436
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:11,640
you got a check. Yeah. I seen 90% of it though, because when it was announced, I was like,

437
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:19,240
Oh, maybe I do love it. There is, that's it. It's nonsensical nostalgia. Fucking hounded

438
00:40:19,240 --> 00:40:24,040
dude. We're all guilty of it. We are all guilty of it. It's insane. But then if you look at

439
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:30,600
what, if you look at the original films that are making money, right? Dennis Villeneuve,

440
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:35,080
Christopher Nolan, your guys, Lanthimos, your guys, Lanthimos, stuff like that stuff that

441
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:40,840
gets bums in seats, but is original storytelling. Yeah. Isn't revitalizing a franchise. Yeah.

442
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:46,280
Well, we just, I often wonder whether or not we're living in this place where we've always

443
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:53,040
feel like cinema was better just before we were able to experience it. Because if you

444
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:57,640
look back at the cinema of the seventies, it's easy to see, Oh, you got Francis Ford

445
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:02,040
Coppola, you got Steven Spielberg, you got all this. We remember them cause they were

446
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:08,260
good. What we don't remember is the entire box office year that was full of Star Wars

447
00:41:08,260 --> 00:41:13,680
clones and shit like that. Yeah. Do you think cinema has always been in this state of crisis

448
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,160
or do you think it's worse now? Yeah. I think it's part of the human condition. I don't

449
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:23,640
think this is a cinema problem. I think this is a, this is a cinema goer problem. Right.

450
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:27,840
I think it's a consumer problem. 20 years ago. It's always going to be it. We're at

451
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:32,960
an age now where we were shouting at clouds. We're shaking our fists. A football lands

452
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,000
in our garden. We're like, do that again. I'm going to tell your mom. Do you know what

453
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:41,360
I mean? It's that we're in that phase now. And I feel like growing up, I've always done

454
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,920
this. Beach Boys were my favorite band and I was always like, God, if I was born a bit

455
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,720
earlier, that would have been great. And then Nirvana were my favorite, were one of my favorite

456
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:51,360
bands. And I was like, God, if I was born a bit earlier, that would have been great.

457
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,200
And then you start getting into all this stuff and you're like, I'd love to be alive before

458
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:59,320
Nirvana killed himself. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That's it. That's the one. And

459
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,400
it's a, it's, it's that kind of shit. And I feel like cinema now we're like, Oh God,

460
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:06,680
I wish I was alive to experience Nightmare on Elm Street for the first time ever. But

461
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,680
we wouldn't have done, we'd have missed it. And then, and then we'd have gone, Oh, it's

462
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,320
some weird B movie I didn't catch. And then 20 years later we'd have gone, Oh yeah, it

463
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,160
was pretty good, wasn't it? Oh, it's a cult classic. It's fucking incredible. Yes. I've

464
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,720
always loved it, but you've seen it a week ago. Do you know what I mean? Like it's that.

465
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:24,680
Yeah. It's that. I feel like this happens throughout every, every aspect of, of life

466
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:31,640
where you continuously feel like it was better a little bit before and nine times out of

467
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:37,480
10, it's why you stick around for as long as you did. You know what I mean? So are we

468
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:44,720
saying that the cure for this kind of cinema is that we need to just have a little bit

469
00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:49,880
of fucking willpower and the next time they decide they're going to remake something that

470
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:56,040
we love, not go. Yeah. That's, I think that would cure it. I think if, well, I mean, I

471
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:01,480
don't understand how this isn't the cure for it. It's made 5 million in a fucking week.

472
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:05,400
Yes. Well, I think, I think this doesn't have any cultural relevance anymore. Of course

473
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:12,360
not. Like I said, back in 2006 when emo and goth and metal was kind of in a hay day. Yeah.

474
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:16,440
Like dude, I was a Nine Inch Nails fan. Can you imagine this trailer going out on Koran?

475
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:22,240
I'd have lost my shit. Right. Nine Inch Nails had top five hits in the early 2000s. Right?

476
00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:27,680
Yes. People were listening to alternative music in large numbers. 15 years later, no

477
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:33,280
one gives a shit. We listened to jazz. Dude, do you remember deftones? Yes. They're still

478
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,920
going. Deftones fans. I haven't heard anything they've done in years because I'm like, Oh,

479
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:41,520
I really liked that one song that I heard on Koran when I was 15. Like that's it. They're

480
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:46,560
a great band. 10, 15 years ago. They were fucking amazing. Now I'm like, you know what

481
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:50,800
I mean? I might, I might put on a bit of, Hey dude, I might just, you know what I mean?

482
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,960
Maybe I'm feeling a little bit of strawberry fields forever today. You see, I feel personally

483
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,880
attacked because I still love deftones. Even every, every year, every time they put out

484
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,840
an album, I tune in, I love it. I go, yeah, this is great. I look at where it is in the

485
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:07,120
charts. I go, no, number 60, still relevant. It's not, no, it's not. But someone looked

486
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:10,680
at that and went, it's about time for a Crow remake. I think it's really going to capture

487
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:16,960
the zeitgeist. That's what I mean. We're all to blame for this. We're all to blame for

488
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:21,920
this because we've done it countless times in the past. And I don't, I don't, I don't

489
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,960
think there's a cure for it. I think we're just, I think there is, I think we stopped

490
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:30,400
going. I think we stopped checking. I think we assume. I think that kills cinema. Right.

491
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:36,040
Okay. That's what I mean. I just think it ends. You know what I mean? Right. Okay. Or,

492
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:43,320
or we start going to stuff that's good, that doesn't have a huge marketing budget, isn't

493
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:49,200
broad. And I think this is the, this is the thing that I, I wanted to get to is there

494
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:57,800
has never been easier access to filmmaking equipment. Yeah. And you have a magic rectangle

495
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,400
in your pocket that you can shoot a fucking film on. Remember when Kevin Smith made clerks

496
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:07,480
and he had to get four credit cards to sell his entire comic book, sell his entire comic

497
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,360
book collection. Yeah. Right. Don't have to do that anymore. No, there's no longer that

498
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:17,780
paywall as an entry barrier to making films. Yeah. What there is, is there's so many films

499
00:45:17,780 --> 00:45:23,160
being made that trying to find them through the noise and go, Oh, this is an excellent

500
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:27,760
little film. Well, that's an excellent little film is next to impossible. Cause there's

501
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:32,080
700 coming out a week. And they're all from big studios. They're all with like big fucking

502
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:37,120
things. And then you've got a, you've got all of the indie noise in front of it, but

503
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:41,360
it's not shouting loud enough because they don't have the marketing budget. Right. Which

504
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:47,520
is I think it's sifting through that. Yeah. I would very much like an indie defense wall.

505
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:52,640
It'd just be erected at some point. So I could just go to my local theater, my local chain

506
00:45:52,640 --> 00:46:02,560
theater and go, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna watch this fucking $25,000 budget

507
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:08,440
indie film about the inner workings of the hippopotamus. You know what I mean? Right.

508
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:14,240
What really, what really makes this one hippo tick? Or find your local independent cinema

509
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:20,920
where the staff are the ones picking the movies. Because if you go to a city, you go to a city

510
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:26,640
or the review, if you go to one, I went to one interview to watch this. It's my nearest

511
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:32,040
stop supporting you. Stop supporting you. I can't, is that, or it's an hour long drive.

512
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:36,520
We wouldn't be recording right now. Drive the hour. I don't care. I'll drive the hour.

513
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:42,000
Stop supporting you. The fucking terrible. I'll pay for you to get a center world unlimited

514
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:48,000
card if you drive an hour there and back. I don't care.

515
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:53,520
By the way, regular viewers may have noticed this, this week that we've got a pretty astounding

516
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:59,920
artwork. We do. We do. Now I'm always incredibly proud of the artwork that you put together,

517
00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:05,080
Ben. That's a good save. But you don't have time every week to hand draw some comic book

518
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:10,440
art. No, I don't have time any week, Rob. I've never had, I've never once had time for

519
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:15,760
that. Memento was the last one I did a Christopher Nolan series last year. Memento, I did a tiny

520
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:20,200
little box drawing. That was it. That's the last. It was beautiful. Thanks man. It was

521
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:25,680
beautiful. Thanks. Someone who does have the time and also the talent and also we just

522
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:31,160
love their stuff is an Instagram account called Illustrational Official. They've done the art

523
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:37,840
for us this week and dude's fucking insane. He's incredible. His art is incredible. Every

524
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:42,220
single bit of it I look at, I'm like, oh, I love it. If you like Tales from the Crypt,

525
00:47:42,220 --> 00:47:47,880
if you like Silver Age Marvel, if you like just well drawn, beautiful art, go check out

526
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:53,440
Illustrational Official on Instagram. Not only have they done our artwork this week,

527
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,200
but when we kind of got chatting to them, I was like, look, do you want to rewatch the

528
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:04,480
original Crow and let us know what your thoughts are? And they did a little riot for us. Fuck

529
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:09,080
off. That's incredible. Yeah, right. Has he actually done that as well as doing the artwork?

530
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:13,640
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is he coming for my job, mate? I will fucking fight you in a car park.

531
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:18,240
All right. Illustrational Official writes, I just rewatched the Crow movie and it was

532
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:22,940
amazing to experience it again. It was a little dated for this time, I think, but I can see

533
00:48:22,940 --> 00:48:28,560
now how this was a masterpiece of its time. The dark noir, gritty action packed drama

534
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:34,000
filled with awesome story. The performance by the cast is superb, especially the outstanding

535
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:38,560
performance by Brandon Lee, bringing life and depth to an awesome character with his

536
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:43,000
portrayal of some scenes. If I may add, I love the scene where Eric walks through the

537
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:47,800
gang members and sits on the table. The visuals of the dark rain soaked noir streets are just

538
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:53,360
breathtaking. After re-experiencing this masterpiece of a movie, all I can say for the next movie

539
00:48:53,360 --> 00:49:06,080
is it's got some big shoes to fill. Fuck's sake. Oh my god. That's incredible. Yeah.

540
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:10,440
They're excited enough to make this vintage horror comic style artwork for the Crow movie

541
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:15,560
and they hope you all like it. I can tell you now, I love it. It's a shame it's for

542
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:27,160
a movie that is so painfully confused and terrible. Yeah. It's just confused is the

543
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:32,400
right word. I feel like they were trying to hit too many things at once and they just,

544
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:37,920
they didn't commit to one lane and they didn't fully deliver on any front and it's upsetting.

545
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,560
I feel like the story was already there. The story was already, I mean, there was a fucking,

546
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:45,560
there was a TV show about the Crow and it was essentially just a retelling of the story,

547
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:50,080
of the film, but it was good. I mean, it was fine. It was aggressively fine, but it was

548
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:55,400
just more of what we loved. In our little summer of bizarre remakes and unnecessary

549
00:49:55,400 --> 00:50:04,120
sequels so far, we've had Romulus. We have. Which if it had just stuck to the events of

550
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:09,080
the first film, but updated, which we thought it was going to do. Yeah. I thought it was

551
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,040
going to sort of spur on a little bit. If it bridged the gap between alien and aliens,

552
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:18,920
that'd have been great. Right. I'd have been well up for just crew on a ship with a xenomorph,

553
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:23,720
but they were like, no, let's do something radically different. Here's the fourth act.

554
00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:28,560
Here's the fifth act. Let's round it out on the seventh act. Fuck off. And now in our

555
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:35,720
second entry into our summer of bizarre reboots and sequels, they've gone, look at this perfectly

556
00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:40,680
fine story. What if we do something radically different? Yeah. What about if we just take

557
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:47,080
the core elements and none of the subtext or meaning and then just done? You know what

558
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:54,000
I mean? What about that? That's fucking, it's silly. It's silly. I look, I'm not a fan of

559
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:58,600
it. I'm glad if you're a fan of it, I'm glad you are. I genuinely am. I sincerely am very

560
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:05,800
jealous because I went into this with very low expectations, thinking, hoping that this

561
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:09,800
was going to be the film to turn it around and I would go, that's all right. It's not

562
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:13,520
that bad. It's not great. It's not terrible. But I went in with such low expectations and

563
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:19,360
they didn't get met and it made me angrier somehow. Like I was, do you know what I mean?

564
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:23,520
Like I wasn't just upset that my expectations weren't met because I wasn't expecting that.

565
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:28,720
I was upset because I'd lowered them so much actively avoided every fucking spoiler that

566
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:36,680
was possible and was still came out like what? Why? Why? It's just, it's one of those films

567
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:41,720
that just doesn't need to exist. It just doesn't need, there was no point to its existence.

568
00:51:41,720 --> 00:51:47,920
It's like an owl. Why do they exist? Moths, moths are sexually attracted to fire and made

569
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:52,440
of dust. Their existence makes no fucking sense. But I still support moths more than

570
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:56,680
the crow remake. I mean, you nearly said you support owls more, which is... Yeah, I changed

571
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,280
it rapidly because I was like, I'm not going to be able to, I'm not going to be able to

572
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,800
run that sentence out and take myself seriously ever again. You can't cash that check. No,

573
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:07,080
fuck no. We're rapidly running out of time. I just want you to check, do we have time?

574
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:12,760
Go on. For comment corner. We do. Do you mind? I've got something for this. Do you mind if

575
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:18,240
I speed run comment corner this week? Oh, please do. Yeah. Because I didn't realize

576
00:52:18,240 --> 00:52:24,880
that on our Spotify there was like 50 unpublished comments that I've gone through and published

577
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:29,160
them all. Some reason, some a while ago. So I'm just going, I'm going to run through,

578
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:33,480
I'm going to run through real quick on the cry episode, Lindsay bird. I see Rob's Raven

579
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:38,320
and I raise you an owl. Yes, Ben, I know your weakness. Giant dragon flies too. And she

580
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:43,280
really does. That is two of my enormous weaknesses. So thank you, Lindsay. I see you, I hear you.

581
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:47,120
I feel bullied. And then she puts love you guys really. Then I feel less bullied. And

582
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:51,200
then I feel the love. You know what I mean? Yep. So that's one on the, uh, on the crow

583
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:59,040
episode on alien Romulus broccoli has put what's a lovely almost rant review. I appreciate

584
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:04,800
the tastefully put humor. Five star. Amazing. Thank you so much. Uh, Godzilla minus one.

585
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:13,120
Matt Bolton commented horse head emoji. Uh, little shop of forest. Sean Western put, we'll

586
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:17,440
now be using the phrase aggressively fine on the daily. Glad this was my first ever

587
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:24,040
movie ever episode. Welcome on board. Sean. I love you dearly. See you soon. Uh, on limelight

588
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:28,360
Ryan Ramos four Oh three. But great episode guys. Phenomenal Southern accent. Thank you

589
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:35,440
very much. You made Charles Chaplin exciting to watch. See Rob, someone did like the fucking

590
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:41,680
Charlie who understands my love for Charlie. No Rob. And there's two because Isabella commented

591
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:47,960
mint on the kid. There you go. There's two. The monkey man on poor things. Got me. Got

592
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:51,560
me crackling just from the title. Thanks for the good times. Keep up the good work. Love

593
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:56,960
you buddy. Captain America. Deadhead. Put you guys listen to tool slip, not on death

594
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:04,840
tones. Oh, regretting my previous conversations. Okay. Yeah. We love death tones mate. I like

595
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:09,840
you both even more now. Ha. I love you too. Deadhead John on our dear hunter episode.

596
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:17,120
Would love to hear you guys discuss the film. Come and see. Oh, maybe there's many more.

597
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:20,200
Also I didn't realize how many more there were. So I'm going to end it there and we'll

598
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:26,160
do a part two at some point in the future. Well, no, no, no. Cause I've got some. Oh,

599
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:32,120
let's go. So we post to social media quite regularly. We post on many platforms and sometimes

600
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:38,840
we'll post a clip and it will go popular that week and other times we'll post a clip and

601
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:44,880
then on a sort of delayed reaction, it will go popular many, many, many weeks later. So

602
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:52,560
about six months ago, we covered a movie called bone Tomahawk. Yes. Now during the, during

603
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:57,560
the review of bone Tomahawk, we talked about native peoples in America have always traditionally

604
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:02,320
been represented as villains, cannibalistic savage villains. And if there's going to be

605
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:09,560
a sort of a retro Western coming out again, is it necessarily useful for people from that

606
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:17,400
demographic to see it, to see themselves portrayed so brutally again as truly, truly horrific?

607
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:23,920
Yeah. So us asking that question as a, as a real, I'm dreading this one already. That's

608
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:30,840
popped off, right? Okay. Someone has just as we've got some great comments here. Okay.

609
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:42,120
This is what happens at less than 200 micrograms of testosterone levels. So the stuff the trucks

610
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:47,760
did was stuff that the Comanche did. And so now it's not okay. You are being foolish.

611
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:58,040
Imagine even caring. I mean, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Someone's just commented, ha, lames. Right?

612
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:06,880
Someone else has gone. Are they vegan feminists too? Not until very recently. You were half

613
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:13,200
correct until about four or five months ago. Yeah. Yeah. But then my favorite one, my favorite

614
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:27,000
one, you are the type of guys to drive your wives to their boyfriend's house. That's fucking

615
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:32,240
incredible. How good is that? How good is that? We got some announcements about the

616
00:56:32,240 --> 00:56:40,440
show because we were about to jump into Fincher. Hold on. Don't just push over that. These

617
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:45,320
people are so upset about being like, it's so unfortunate. Maybe to maybe start being

618
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:54,000
a little bit more inclusive. They're like, fuck you. You're soft bricks. I love social

619
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,480
media so much. It brings out all the fucking weird worms. You know what I mean? I feel

620
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:01,680
like that's been a really balanced comment corner this week. That's been great. That's

621
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:06,760
been the light and the shade. Yeah. Spotify was super positive and then you've just got

622
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:15,880
TikTok being like fucking dicks. That was YouTube. That was YouTube. That was comment

623
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:20,400
corner. If you want to be part of next week's comment corner, find us on Instagram, TikTok,

624
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:24,280
YouTube. We've got this. Go get offended on YouTube because it's fucking hilarious, man.

625
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:28,200
Out yourself. Just comment under any video and hey, you know, there's a good chance.

626
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:33,840
There's a good chance it'll make the show. We've got some announcements Ben because we're

627
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:39,520
about to cover David Fincher. We're about to cover every David Fincher movie ever. We

628
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:44,400
are. Are we going to start it again with Alien 3? We're not. Alien 3 is done. It's in the

629
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:48,640
can. I feel like I said everything I needed to say about that film in that episode. Go

630
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:52,880
listen to it. I can't watch it again. It's a firm favourite of mine. But we did talk

631
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:58,320
about implementing a swear jar for the Fincher series. Oh God. Yeah, we did. I forgot about

632
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:05,400
this. We need to clear up our act and it's going to start from next week. Okay. All right.

633
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:12,560
Yeah. What do you want to do with the swear jar? I think we should implement like a punishment

634
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:17,400
list. Like if there is a certain amount of swears in an episode, then there is, there

635
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:21,600
are different things that our Discord community can elect one of us to do. The Discord can

636
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:27,520
decide. I think this is a purely, this is a Discord moderated swear jar. I feel like

637
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:32,520
if you want to get involved in it, join our Discord now. We'll put some rules in. If we

638
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:39,120
hit a certain amount of swears, Discord get to write a 30 second script that one or both

639
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:44,000
of us have to read out loud on Instagram live straight faced with no context. Do you remember

640
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,840
the last time we did that and we had to give out that reel that was a really positive review

641
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:51,360
of Madam Web and how deep it was? Yeah. And do you remember that half the people that

642
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,960
watched it weren't our listeners at all. We were being serious. Yeah, that was fun. It

643
00:58:54,960 --> 00:59:03,600
was a really fun week of comments. That was thanks Chris. Okay. Let's do that. Let's do

644
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:09,160
that. What are you going to, what are you going to rate the Crow remake 2024 Ben? Three.

645
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:15,560
What are the three points it gets? It has some great scenes. The stairwell scenes great.

646
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:21,760
I like the fact that I get to watch a bunch of people I don't like die. That was, that

647
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:27,840
was sort of some sort of cathartic release. Yeah. And I like the fact that all the CGI

648
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:33,720
birds are actually crows and not fucking ravens. Okay. Fair. Fair. That's a, okay. That's fair.

649
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:38,120
Other than that, the film has nothing else going for it. Right. Right. And here's the

650
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:41,640
thing. I would agree with you on all those points. So I would also give it three, but

651
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:50,640
I'm subtracting three. Yeah. Fair. And here's why I am really bored of being fed shit and

652
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:56,520
being asked how it tastes. Yeah. And at a certain point I feel like if I'm going to

653
00:59:56,520 --> 01:00:02,000
watch a thing, I'm going to give it two and a half hours, two hours of my time and 11.99

654
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:06,160
at a cinema ticket, a fucking view cinema that I've had to drive to and get lost on

655
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:10,640
the motorway and end up in Chepstow and then have to drive back to the cinema again with

656
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:16,680
very little petrol in the car and get very stressed. Yeah. Crow remake. Yeah. Nah, that's

657
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:20,480
a zero. Yeah. That's fair. You had a, you had a much tougher time than me. I had a great

658
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:25,280
time watching it. You know what I mean? Me and Amber from the control old control old

659
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:29,360
critique podcast when I watched it, we came out with the exact same reactions. Like what,

660
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:34,160
what, what? So that was fun. It was really fun. So that was great. Thanks for that. And

661
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:37,200
we should do something with them. We should do something with them. We should do something

662
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:44,040
with them. We should do something with them relatively soon. Yeah. Maybe, maybe. I mean,

663
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:49,960
wouldn't want to spoil anything. In the meantime, thank you so much for joining us. That is

664
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:55,120
all the time we have this week. We love each and every one of you so much. It is actually

665
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:59,000
unreal. Thank you for the continued support. Thank you for everything you bring to the

666
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:03,120
table. Cause honestly, without you, we would just be two men all sitting in a room yelling

667
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:08,200
about shit that no one cares about. But with you there, we're at least not alone yelling

668
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:16,600
in a room about shit that no one cares about. I don't know how to run that out. This episode

669
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:24,360
has been as produced as planned as thought about as a movie that we've covered. Yeah.

670
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:29,480
And it's still a better use of two hours of your time to listen to it twice than it is

671
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:33,320
to watch the Crow remake. Yeah. To be fair. Yeah. You're not, you're not wrong. Ben is

672
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:39,440
now going to wrap up the thoughts, themes and feelings of this film to thank you for

673
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:42,680
spending an hour of your week with us, especially at the start of the week. He's going to give

674
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:48,480
you a little movie based Monday motivation pep talk while I'm going to do exactly what

675
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:51,520
this film tells you to do and consume.

676
01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:59,800
They were like, this is the, this is the last lesson that we need as a society, as a human

677
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:05,160
form to stop thinking that it was bad just six months ago, just a year ago, just five

678
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:10,360
years ago. Oh, things are so much easier. Things are so much better. It's, it's hard.

679
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:14,000
You can never go back to it. You can never recapture that. You have to fucking, you have

680
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:21,080
to move on. We have to move forward individually, collectively together as a people, as a society.

681
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:26,880
Let's move on. Support your fucking independence, support new exciting stuff. Let's, let's get

682
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:32,840
back to our roots of where people were creative and progressing and fun and follow themselves

683
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:37,520
and fucking, if you're going to take something away from the Crow remake, fuck rehab is essentially

684
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,840
the message of the film. I don't, there's nothing else there. I don't know, man. That's

685
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:47,040
the message of the film. Perfect. Legend.

686
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:57,240
It was good to see them as very self- daarns again.

687
01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:01,840
Okay.