Fuck. I've just dribbled all that myself man. I've just dribbled all that myself and I've
pulled a classic Bjorn and just not moved out the way. Now I'm gonna T-pose
because I'm all wet. Fucking hell mate, are you alright? You sound a little weird.
Yeah? Do I? Do I sound weird? No. Oh fuck maybe it's somewhat on my end or maybe it's
just that this is what 81,000 downloads sounds like. Let's start the show!
Hello everyone and welcome to the Every Movie Ever podcast. My name is Ben
Groves. And my name is Rob McFarlane. Welcome to the show, a movie podcast slash mental
health check-in for two broken brain best friends talking around their
problems but not about their problems whilst you know laughing at movies. So
given that this is a thinly veiled mental health check-in, Ben before I get to
what we're doing, how are you doing buddy? I'm doing good man. I'm doing good.
I've had an entire week off work. Nice. So naturally I had all these plans to be
sort of like I'm gonna get my life admin in done. I'm gonna get this done. You are a time optimist.
You're like I've got four days I'm gonna build Rome. Yes, essentially that. I'm
going to be Remus and Romulus. No, I've done nothing. I've done nothing but
podcast the entire time. My life is still on fire. But podcast is up to date. No
means, that's good. Yeah, yeah. We've slated a really busy... Well I'm good. I'm
a little bit under it. We've got lots of things that I'm gonna be really happy
once they're out. It just so happens that all of them are happening this weekend.
Yes. And I've got a job interview coming up and I've not wanted anything as much
as I've wanted this job for a very long time. It's made me very nervous and so
I've just like I've got two edits on the go at the moment. We're recording a
current episode. Right. We've got two interviews on the slate. Yes. Got to get like
stuff prepped for this interview and we are reviewing the newest film we've ever
spoken about on the podcast. This is less than 48 hours old. Yeah, yeah. This is
this is brand new territory for us. Now we were gonna do a spoiler-free review.
We were gonna keep it light. We're gonna keep this... We just tried that. We just
tried it. We've just had to literally delete a recording and go you know what?
Awful. Fuck it. Awful. What's the point? Yeah. There's too much to talk about. So
this is straight off the fucking top of the bat. This is your spoiler
warning. This film is brand new. It came out two days ago. We've seen it twice
each. Yeah. We need to talk about it. If you're anything like us you're gonna
come out of the cinema and you're gonna be really really confused and you're
gonna be questioning what you just saw. Yeah. And whether you enjoyed it because
there's lots in there to love. Loads to love. Lots in there to hate and it's
blended together into a fine paste. Yeah. And Ben and I have seen it twice now. We
saw it on the day of release. We saw it again yesterday. We're recording the very
next morning and we hope that you can go to the cinema, pop this on and go oh okay
that's what I watched. Yes. As far as these guys see it. Ben, what are we
talking about? Today buddy we are finally at the final episode of our mainline
alien series for now. Yep. With the brand spanking new Romulus. Yeah it's it's a
weird feeling man. I'm gonna be sad to leave alien behind. Same. I'm also not
that keen to do Alien vs Predator or Prometheus or Alien Covenant because
they're prequels and crossovers and... The prequels can fuck off. The crossovers I'm
into. They're stupid as shit. Let's do I'm all down for them all day every day.
Let it down the line. Let's do Predator. Yes. And then we can do Alien vs Predator.
Yeah. Have an annual dip into this universe. I'm up for that because we've got... Sounds lovely.
Big fans for people who are fans of this universe. What we're about to do next is
gonna be just as much in your wheelhouse. We've got a lot to cover this episode.
Let's get into it. I want to I want to get into how we got here. How do we get
here Ben? How did we get here? Do you remember how we got here? How we got
here? Yeah with Alien Romulus not sat on a podcast. I was gonna say because
like I imagine at some point Fred and Dorn had a couple of drinks.
There's a glint in an eye. You know what I mean? I thought you were immaculately
conceived. No. Pure mistake baby. Pure mistake baby. No I meant I meant with
Alien Romulus mate. Oh that's what we're doing in the episode. Yes. Got
you. Got you. Got you. Got you. Oh I should be reading the notes. What else are you covering? What does Romulus bring to the table for the Alien franchise?
And has Fede Alvarez lived up to the expectations for the franchise?
For the fandom? For us? I've got mixed answers to that. I've got thoughts on this. I've got a whole
fucking Fede segment that we're gonna get into mate. The Fede segment.
The fucking Fede segment right? The Fede-ration. I'm doing my part. There's not a single Romulan on this
fucking movie is there? I fucking hate Star Wars. Fucking stupid. Where's Spark and Glip Shitter?
You know what I mean? Boba Fett killed him mate. 80 million this film cost.
80 million dollars. Yeah. And I'm just gonna I'm gonna be your guy in the chair
for you Ben. Go on. This hand. Just a quick Google. Yeah. Right Batman this has made
42 million. Fucking hell. This weekend. Fucking hell yeah fair. So unless everyone that's wants
to see it has seen it this weekend I think it's gonna make its money back.
It's gonna it's gonna do great. It's gonna do great. Everyone's loving the film.
Everyone's coming out of the theatre saying this is super fun. What a great
experience. I've loved everything about it and you know awesome. Fucking super grateful
then a little bit jealous of everyone that's doing that. Little bit jealous. I've been talking to you since
we came out the cinema and it's been nothing but rage for 48 hours. It's been yelling and voice
notes essentially for like two days. But we've covered every entry in the main franchise and
we have. It's the finale so let's let's do the spoiler warning again. Spoilers. Because it's
tradition. Spoilers. Brand new film. If you've not seen it pause the show. Go to the cinema. Yeah.
Watch it. Support it. And then. And then come back and listen. Come back because we're about to
literally scene by scene go through what happens in this movie. So you know why we're talking about
what we're talking about. Do you want to do part one or part two babe? I'm gonna go for part two
please buddy. We're having a breakdown. Part one. It's raining. It's pouring. This colony is fucking boring.
I love the colony. Colony is great. Rain and her synthetic brother Andy are citizens of Jackson.
A bleak miserable Wayland-Yutani mining colony 65 light years from Earth. Middle of nowhere. Like
Telford. After being denied permission to leave the colony for heavenly sun planet Ivarga. Even
though she's met a minimum hours quota. But the Wayland-Yutani being bastards and they double
rain's required hours before she can be granted permission to leave. Absolute bastards. Because
you know worker shortage. They're all dying. Bastards. Bastards. Just as this bad news is
setting in though rain gets a call from her mate Tyler. Asking her to come by his trailer and do
her old gang of mates a favour. They've all got really deep personalities by the way. Like one's
pregnant. Yeah. One's a dickhead. One's Asian. Didn't see that coming. Right. They explain that
floating above their heads is a decommissioned Wayland ship that has enough cryopods to make
the nine-year trip to Ivarga. Sure. Without having to slave away in the mines in the next couple of
years. They just need Andy. Who being a recommissioned Wayland synthetic speaks the
ship's operating system language. Mother. And will be able to get them aboard the decommissioned ship.
No trouble. Hesitant but desperate to get out of the colony. Rain reluctantly agrees and they set
off literally immediately. That moment. It is that moment. You're in yeah? Sick. Yeah. Pop your seatbelt on.
Part two. The mythical twins of Rome. Turns out it's not a ship drifting above their heads. It's a
massive fuck off space station that I need to break character for a moment here. How the fuck does a
Wayland-Utani mining corporation not have one single fucking radar that goes hold on a sec.
There is a massive fucking ship above our heads right now. But two cunts in a fucking trailer. I
just sort of like. Because. Theirs summit. Because Ben you juvenile. You idiot. You fool. Yeah.
Something really important like that I don't know the Large Hadron Collider. Sure. They just call
to let everyone know how it's going. Got you. And if you don't hear a call you just assume it's fine.
Right. Do you know where the Large Hadron Collider is right now Ben? It might be floating above the
fucking west coast of the states with two surfers going hey there might be a little ship up there
with a god particle on it. Wanna go and have a look see about it. Yeah. And no other cunt is ever
gonna know about it. Fuck off. Anyway. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. So it's a massive fuck off space station.
And this band of ambitious rapscallions with a personal synthetic are the only ones who know
about it. Sure. Docking their ship onto this enormous space station. They discover it is the
Romulus slash Remus. But it doesn't seem as decommissioned as once thought.
No. Half the gang make their way through the station finding the cryopods but uh oh!
There's not enough fuel to make the nine year trip to Ivaga but thanks to a fucking fancy
thermometer they find out that there's an entire cryo lab that will have the fuel needed just around
the corner. The fuel's cold man come on. Yeah sure but so is space you know what I mean?
Thermometers are famously able to be used as maps. Yeah exactly. You speak like a man who's never
got lost. I'm such a fucking idiot. A number of times I just pull out my weather app. Yeah sure.
I mean 21 degrees I should go this way. Yeah fuck off. The cryo lab is a horror show. A half
melted synthetic on the ground and a fucked on a facehuggers in a paddling pool. Trying to retrieve
the fuel they accidentally revive the gaggle of facehuggers that have been frozen and they lock
themselves in the room. And he gets a chip from a half melted synthetic rook to upgrade his security
access but unbeknownst to the rest of the pirate gang. This also upgrades his prime directive
making him loyal to the Weyland-Yutani corporation. There are problems with the plot. There are
problems with the plot and we've got them in the breakdown. I'm not as angry at this film as this
breakdown might make it seem. Yeah me neither. Anyway part three run. Run. From the cinema.
Leave. Go home. No no no no. No I'm joking. I enjoyed it. Yeah loved it. Great film. As
the group flees the chamber a facehugger latches on to their Asian pilot. Remember them from the
gang? Their whole thing was that they were Asian. Yeah. Rain reactivates rook the melted synthesizer
for information on how to remove said xenomorph and he gives us all the backstory we need. Tells
them why the ship is there. Tells them what they were up to. Your exposition dump. Let's just get
it out now. Doesn't tell her how to remove the facehugger. She comes up with that on her own a
couple seconds later. And Andy quite rightly points out that she's probably not safe to fly
now that she's you know with alien. Yeah. So they try and flee because Andy gets all hostile. So
pregnant. Remember her from the gang. Asian. Remember her. Dick face. Yeah yeah yeah. Dick
face. The one who's just always a dick. Yeah. They reboard their ship and bang alien comes knocking.
Back of that rib cage. Record time. Record time. They know it's an alien because she's got that
torch that she puts on her neck and it illuminates her entire body cavity. I thought that was cool
as fuck and I won't hear a bad word said against it. I actually thoroughly enjoyed that. Yeah
definitely. The escapees they crash right back into the station they just left. The fucking
idiots. And then queue up the fastest transformation into full fledged alien you've ever seen with a
wall vagina at one point. Yeah. That drips acid onto a totally stationary and pretty much non plus
dick face underneath who just sort of can't move out the way mate. You know what I mean. You dribble
something on you. That's it. You're wet. That's it. That's the only option. It's a large remove
from alien resurrection where there's the exact same scene of dripping acid. Yeah. And there's
that beautiful shot where the camera flies down the hallway does a spin. Yeah. And he screams in
pain. Yeah. This is more of like a oh no my t-shirt. Oh my fucking t-shirt. My fucking t-shirt.
My fingers are fucking melted mate. Also T-Pose. Rain, Andy and her mate now have to make it across
the station to the crash ship to rescue pregnant and survive untampered by alien dingle dongles.
Meeting pregnant at the hangar door Andy refuses to risk everyone's life by unlocking the door.
Smart. And she's dragged away presumably dead. Shocked by Andy's newfound coldness Rain asks
him to repeat his prime directive. He openly admits he is now a company man through and through.
He's even got a little side quest for them. Taking them to the heart of the station. He
retrieves that mystical goop from Prometheus, which everyone knows and loves extracted from
the xenomorph only a brief 500 years before Ripley endures a never ending cycle of failed
attempts to clone her. I'm just saying. It's fucking insane. In their time. This is like medieval.
Yes. From resurrection times. And that like by attempt seven, they'd got as far as mattress
monster with a face on Ripley. Yeah. But we're supposed to believe that like bows and arrows
people. Yeah. Yeah. 500 years in the past. Rook is like, I'm just going to extract this Prometheus
goop from a xenomorph. Yeah. That's been frozen in space. And then also now I can manufacture
face huggers from it. Yeah. Just 3D printer face hugger. But this is what I'm saying though,
because that's like taking blood from me during a blood test and then being able to, I don't know,
fucking make chimps. It's a different fucking evolutionary point. You know what I mean? I
don't understand it. It doesn't matter though, because fucking fed a, you know what I mean?
Join the federation man. That's it. Do your part. Now good up the gang rescue pregnant who wasn't
killed nor implanted, not done anything with just sort of filed away like an overdue bill in the
drawer. We've all got them. I've got some red notices in the drawer that I don't know. I see
it and I'm like, I'm too poor. And I just put it away and I go, oh, I don't read it. It's not real.
See, I don't even do that. I burn mine in a bin in the garden. I got a metal bin. I burn all my
stuff in. There you go. Suddenly there's 19 xenomorphs just mooching about. They've been
there the whole time. As soon as they're introduced rain shoots them to shit.
The mall running eagerly into her gunfire, like children in a queue for sweets rain,
Andy and pregnant make it back to the ship and all is well as the station bumps and grinds its way
into a planetary ice ring, destroying all the horror. Yeah. Except oops. Cause pregnant,
as we pointed out, didn't do anything. Did she? So fuck it. Let's just have her inject the goo.
Yeah. That she's only ever seen used on the mouse. She's not even seen it used on the mouse.
Andy, the Android was like, this worked on the mouse and you share 20% of DNA with a mouse. So
fuck it. There's chances. They were all stood in the same room where that experiment went horribly
wrong. And not one person decided to watch the end of the video or look a little bit to the right
where the fucking mutated mouse was. I've got, I've got reasons as to why that's perfectly
sure. Perfectly logical. Of course you do. It's fine. We'll get to it. She's, she's,
she's all hopped up on goo. You know, she's, she's chasing the goo dragon. Yeah. And as a result,
her, her baby becomes a sort of fucked up egg monster that immediately grows into a 10 foot
tall Slender man, xenomorph, Slendermorph. Yeah. A Slendermorph. We're doing alien resurrection
again, basically with added Prometheus. Yeah. So Ben, this is your breakdown and you didn't enjoy
the film, I'm guessing. Look, you're really angry about it. I'm not angry about it at all. Right.
I'm more upset in myself. For those of you that are regular listeners, you know that I have a love
hate relationship with Fede Alvarez. He loves making films. I hate Fede Alvarez, but he's taken
some franchises that I know and love. He took the evil dead and he just disrespected it and made
whatever the fuck he wanted. Fair play. You know, make a film. It was a great horror film, just a
shit evil dead film. He wrote Texas chainsaw massacre, the latest one. It's a great film,
just a shit Texas chainsaw massacre film. Right now he gets given fucking alien. And I was like,
this, this might be the one where I'm proved wrong. This might be the one where Fede is like,
listen, cunt, I know exactly what you're thinking of me. Watch me. Let's just let me cook. Yeah.
Let me cook. And I did let him cook. And what did he cook up? A gorgeous looking piece of shit.
I don't think it's a piece of shit. I enjoyed it. Okay. I enjoyed it with some choices that I
really didn't appreciate, but I think we run the risk. I had a fun time and it's a gorgeous film.
We run the risk. And I'm going to come back to this later of being old men shouting at clouds.
Yeah. Going, stop enjoying yourself. You're enjoying yourself wrong. No,
because you're not enjoying yourself the same way that I did because things have changed.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. I borderline there, but I'm more like, what's with all this rap music?
Stop doing it. Because I'm not enjoying myself. I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself and that
everyone else is having a great time. I'm not, and I'm upset about it. Okay. Change everything
you're doing to suit me, please. To please me. Okay. Yeah. Great. That lines up perfectly with
what I'm coming back to later. Right. This film's got loads to love. Loads to love.
It really does. There are people on this film who aren't Fedai Alvarez. Benjamin Walfish does the
score and it's like, it's got nods to both alien and aliens. Yeah. It's got a few scores in there.
Dude, there's like little pieces of like Star Wars sprinkled in. There's the almost playful tones.
It's almost Spielberg in places. It's gorgeous. Right? Incredible. Lee Gilmore, Lee Gilmore sound
design. Like the ship sounds incredible. A, fucking mindblownly good sound effects. B,
there's one moment where the fucking ship crashes into a hanger and the screech in the IMAX cinema
vibrated my eyeballs. I was like, I can never do that again. I used to have fillings. Yeah.
Legitimately. It was the loudest thing I've ever heard. And it felt like the speaker was in my
fucking brain. It was horrendous, but it was incredible. Honestly, score's insane. Sound
effects is insane. The, the look of this film, like the, when you, there's not a frame in this
film that isn't gorgeous. Every single fucking thing is, is, is like an A4 poster for a fucking
1999 windows like screensaver. Do you know what I mean? They've done that wonderful thing that
the originals did, which is they've taken a space that has been designed by an architect and interior
designer to be incredibly minimalist. Yeah. But it's then been lived in for 20, 30 years. Yes.
And it's covered in human mess and clutter. Yeah. Just normal day to day messy shit. So you're
looking at a set and you're seeing the influence of more than one person. It's not just I designed
this space and everyone is living in it as I intended. It's I designed this space to be
futuristic and it's now 50 years later and people have scribbled on the walls and there's coffee
cups everywhere and just random shit. That's just a pile of stuff you'll get to one day when you have
some time off. Everything about it. It looks believable. It looks and it feels gorgeous. The
entire way through the film, there is not a beat that it misses. The one thing that I will say
is that I struggled with the story of the film. Yeah. It sounds incredible. It looks incredible.
The Andy is fucking incredible. Best character in this film is the synthetic droid. I agree with you
that he's the best character. The actor, I loved what he was doing with his body. Yep. I loved that
he was subconsciously giving me that Android vibe. Yeah. With the way he moved the sort of
mechanization. Yeah. Towards the end of the film, I did find his face, his one face. Okay. Because
he's got a facial expression in this film that is very much set in stone and I can only describe it
as the face you might make when you go for a wee and you know you have a bladder infection.
It's that sort of slightly sad, slightly panicked, but almost relief, but almost like resigned to
your fate. Yeah. Okay. And I don't know if David Johnson is doing that face or if that just is
David Johnson's face. And if it's the latter, I'm very sorry, David, but you do look like you're
about to have an uncomfortable wee. I've seen it in a minute in views and he is like, hands down,
just a fucking incredible actor. Like fucking incredible. Brilliant. I'm glad. Like you've just
said, everything about him is very Android-y, but he has this insane, for the first part of the film,
before he gets his upgrade, he has this insane innocence about him. He's very childlike. He's
very pure. He's very sort of like agreeable. And then when he gets his upgrade, all of a sudden,
he's bolt upright, his posture's perfect. He's running like a fucking pro athlete. He's strong
as shit. He's a fucking strong boy. And then he gets super cold. Super like, fuck you. This is
logical. And I'm like, oh my God, this is what this film needs. Logic. And Andy's the one that's
going to give it to me. And he does all the fucking way through this nonsensical mess. Andy's the one
beacon. He's the lighthouse at the end of the shit sea where I'm like, that makes sense. He's talking
sense. Right. Okay. Again, I'm going to differ with you there. I liked all the crew. I know you say
they're 2D. I know you say that there's not much to them. Paper thin. But there's the thing, there's
five of the fuckers. How much do you know about the crew in the original Alien? I know that two of
them are motivated by money and are upset with the wage that they're getting and the shares they're
receiving. And what else? And are willing to fuck up their entire operation that they're working on
for the rest of the crew, unless they get more shares. Then they're really dickish and sly about
it. You know that from the quite Weasley, they're quite ratty, right? You get that just from sort
of like a couple lines of dialogue. Yeah. And I would, I would argue that this crew do the exact
same thing. I think what has happened with this film is it has got lots of stuff that's perfectly
fine in a great movie. In a great movie, these characters are fine because they do the job.
They're shorthand. You understand they each have stakes. This one is pregnant and she doesn't want
to give birth to a child and have it grow up on a fucking hell world. Right. I know what she's doing.
Right. But that's it though. And then she just goes to sleep for the rest of the film until she's
needed for exposition. That's not the fault of the first third of the movie. No, of course not.
My whole thing with this is that for that first 40 minutes, right up until Ian hold the fuck up,
what is that? Why am I looking at it? Turns up on screen as Rook the Android. Yeah. I was fully
on board because I was like, it's going to be a crew of young teenagers who make stupid teenage
decisions and act in stupid teenage ways. Yeah. Which explains a lot of the issues you have about
why do they do this? Why do you do that? Because they're morons. They're uneducated young idiots.
Yeah. And the thin backstories and all that kind of stuff could have been fleshed out
if we'd had the time because it was just them and one Xenomorph and they have to get across
the station to get back to their ship. It would have been perfect. It would have been perfect.
It would have been. But the thing is- And we came really close to having that.
Yeah. Really close. And instead of what he did is instead of giving them the backstory and the
motivations and the sort of the tie-ins and all this stuff is he's just gone, that's my cousin,
he's a dickhead. And then that's it. He's a cousin dickhead. And then that's the entire arc. And
you're like, oh, this is it. So when cousin dickhead gets melted, I'm like, so? There is the seed.
There is the seed there of the best alien film yet. By the time you get to hour one, it's died.
It's died in the pot because you've got- Hour one?
At the end of the first hour, it's already dead. Sure. Because you've got a weird mix of callbacks
to the original. Like, oh, this Android looks like Ian Holm. But then it's also bringing in
the Prometheus Goot and it's trying to be a sequel to every alien film ever all at once. Bring it all
in together rather than just doing as much as Dejabrom's get shit for what he did with Rise of
Skywalker. If you look at The Force Awakens, if you look at his Star Trek reboot, he's really good
at going, we're just going to do the thing they love again with modern effects and different people.
And it's the shot in the arm that a franchise needs. JJ Abrams should be hired for issue one
of every story and then let competent people who know how to finish stories take it over.
This just needed to be Alien 1979 with some young teenagers and a wicked xenomorph. And it would
have been my perfect movie. The thing that's upsetting is if you look to like comic books
and the book, the extended universe of aliens, there are so many, so, so many interesting stories
with real stakes and real wealth, like fleshed out characters already written like they're there
just for the taking. And what Feday did is go, nah, nah.
Well, what he actually did was he went for a chat with Steven Aspel and Ridley Scott.
And they were in the depths of make, he was making Don't Breathe. They were making the Prometheus
covenant movies and it was just, it was a chat. It's so spicy. It was a chat about, you know,
what do you want to see as a fan? And he just started chatting and he wasn't intending to pitch.
He was just chatting with them and they were like, Oh, oh yeah. And ended up kind of becoming a pitch.
And then a couple of years later, Ridley rang him and was like, do you want to make that for like
Hulu or something? Well, just straight to streaming. And this would have been a nice little
standalone pocket story on streaming. And I think that's kind of where it should have stayed.
Sure.
The theatrical release and the big focus of this is the reinvigoration of alien. This is going to
be where we kick it all off again. Yeah. I hear what you're saying.
Gives it the problem. I hear what you're saying. I agree to an extent, right? I agree to an extent.
My issue is we've done, I've done a couple of pros, right? So I'm going to get into my issue
with the film. Are we doing meta? Are we doing shit sandwich? We're doing shit sandwich. We're
doing pro con pro. All right. We're going to end on a, we're going to end it on a high. All right.
My issue with this film is, is that it's classic fucking Fed Elvarez again. Like just it's Feday
strikes again, man. I swear to God. Right. So he does, he's got this fucking amazing ability
to make films. He can make great films, right? Yes. He truly, truly can. But the story
of these great films so fucking illogical and they just leave gaping holes everywhere. And it's like,
it pulls me out of the experience and I can't then get back into it. But you're, you've always been a
very, what's the word? Logical. Autistic. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. Autistic person in that. That
works too. If something doesn't chime with you in the story and you go, I don't believe that,
you can't then just move forward and go, okay, well moving on. You're in that moment forever.
Yeah. Right. I can suspend belief all fucking day long. Of course I can't. The second you're out of
it, every little scene, you're like that shit. The second. You get in like a snowball moment.
That's exactly what happens to me. The second that it doesn't make sense. Yeah. Even with its own
rules. If I'm suspending, if I'm suspending belief and then they're like, yes, but here are the rules
of the universe. And I'm like, okay, that's fine. I'm in on this. And then it makes sense.
According to his own rules. I'm like, yes, this is fucking awesome. This is great. Okay. So Feday
Alvarez has done a bunch of films, right? Evil Dead is what he did. Evil Dead is a great horror
film as a standalone thing. I think the main problem is, is that it's a bunch of people in a
cabin with access to only one water well that's now full of heroin and going, why is everything
bad happening to us? And then the bit that really gets me going is when he tries to make the dog
killer, the hero. And I'm like, that doesn't make sense in any fucking universe. You don't bring the
dog killer back. They're dead. They're gone. You can't do it. Except Tyrannosaur, which is the
exception that proves the rule. That's an interesting one that we can't get into right now. Because I
have a whole thing on that. Okay. But then you've got, don't breathe. Don't breathe is a great
fucking premise for a film. Super fun idea until trying to imagine how the blind guy either built
or hired people to build the breeding room that he has in his basement. And then when there is
140 police officers around his fucking house, they've all seen the breeding room and the shelves
have come and everyone is like, no, this is fine. He's just a blind man. He's the victim. That makes
no fucking sense. Everyone's got kinks, mate. All right. Don't kink shame. Makes no sense. Texas
Chainsaw Massacre. Super fun. The story's piss weak. It's, oh, you don't have the deed to this
house of the town that these hipsters have just bought. But it's super fun. And then you've got
Romulus. So hang about just before you get to Romulus. How do you like films like Maxine and
films like Godzilla Kong and they stick to their own rules. It makes sense in their universe. They
set the rules and they stick to them. That's it. As long as it makes sense in that universe for that
fucking scenario, that's fine. In the don't breathe universe, we know that the police exist in a
similar fashion to our universe because they're actively fighting a crime. They're helping a
victim. Right. So I think it's fair to make this observation. I think you and I have the same issue
with films, but on different subjects. OK. You have to have the universe and the rules of the
place. Yes. Be consistent. Otherwise, everything that follows is ruined. Yes, because it's built
on lies. I always have to have the rules of how people work be consistent. Right. OK. Your
universe, anything can happen in it. Yeah. Anything can happen in it. But the second that a person
does something that a person wouldn't do, I'm like, well, I'm watching. What am I watching?
Yeah. And the rest of the film is ruined. Yes. And it's the exact same mechanism, just different
focuses. Yeah. That's it. That's going to help immensely going forward with this show. Yeah.
OK. So Fede Alvarez has done one good thing. Right. Well, for me, the people in this are
consistent. They are consistent. They behave the way people would behave. Sure. And so then it's
just choices that I don't like about what we're bringing in. The only problem I have with the
people is it's just fucking cannon fodder. There's no real reason for the people to be there. They're
just dicks for the sake of being dicks so that they die. And Fede Alvarez said before the fucking
film, they die. And I was like, then I don't care about them already. That's it. Fucking Danny Boyle.
Danny Boyle comes up later in my notes. He does. I've got fucking notes on Danny Boyle too,
mate. This is going to be a good one. When Fede pitched it, he said, you know, it's just a good
story with a bunch of characters you haven't seen before. Sure. I would have loved that. It was the
fact that he then started bringing in a bunch of ideas we had seen before and a bunch of set pieces
we had seen before and a bunch of dialogue we had seen before. And I'm like, buddy, we needed
an original story, not a remix of all the prior stories put in a little tablet.
I think at a certain point it starts becoming an homage and it starts becoming a bit of an insult
because literally Romulus is just sort of like, it's supposed to, it's more of what we love from
this franchise, right? It's country characters getting shit minced. Fucking excellent. Incredible.
It's bearable characters, not grating too much on you, but making logical decisions that fit
within what people would do in those situations, right? When they're faced with barrel, great,
fucking great stuff. The synthetic Andy being the most interesting character arc is fucking perfect
becoming cold, hard, logical over everything. It adds the perfect amount of mud into the water
to just keep us guessing on what the intentions are right up until it becomes fucking stupid.
It's fucking mental. There's zero gravity blood. I love that. Fuck right off. I swear to God,
mate. All right. I loved it. I'm not going to get into it right now. I had major issues with it,
but the concept of it, I love it. Concept is great, but it's fucking, it's not how blood,
it's not liquid. Fuck it. It's fine. It's fine. The Xeno catching rain as she falls down the fucking
shaft with its tail and then gently, gently placing her on a fucking ladder is mental. That's stupid.
Uh, yeah. Uh, okay. Finish your list. I can see it. You've got a mental, I can see it in your eye.
Thank you. As Xenomorph that has been alive for 27 minutes because I need to remind you
that after the fucking chest burst is seen and the, the, the small ship that they travel to the,
the Romulus in goes off course and hits a fucking fuel engine and sends the Romulus onto a crash
collision course with the icy rings of the fucking, of the Jackson planet, right? They have 47 minutes
until collision. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's a very compressed timeline. It is a very
compressed, very compressed. It loses, it loses the benefit of, uh, in, in most films, the timeline is
unsure. So things that perhaps are a little bit unbelievable because you're not told the timeline,
you can go, well, maybe it was a week. Yeah. When they're, when they're trapped on the terraforming
colony in aliens, you don't have a ticking clock. Exactly. It's exactly followed. Yes. You
can kind of go, Ooh, the only ticking clock that is exactly followed is stuck to now he sticks to
the time. Yeah, he does. In this film. Yeah, he does. But it's to the detriment of the film because
then all the things that happen to happen within half an hour. And it's, it's not even half an hour,
Rob. It's 27 minutes that the Xenomorph goes from fucking chest burst the scene to fully fledged
Xenomorph after being attacked in a womb egg. Yes. Right. 27 minutes that all this is going on. Yes.
The reason that you know, it's been 27 minutes is because there is a voice announcement that says 20
minutes to impact from the 40 fucking seven minutes before. Anyway, anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This Xenomorph is 27 minutes old and is instinctively scared of guns. Well, it's scared of a bit of metal
that's being pointed at it. And it's like, bitch, you have acid for blood. Okay. So you have a fucking
pointy tail, but then they've always been scared of guns. Not instinctively. And in aliens, they
were like, fuck it. I'm going to eat that shit. They weren't like, Oh, hold, hold up boys. She's
got a gun. Hold up boys. Let's just, let's just take a breather. You could argue that they eat
that shit in this one as well. You know, his idea that, Oh, they're scared of guns doesn't pan out.
Fucking hate it. You didn't enjoy the film. I get that. And I did. That's the thing. I did enjoy the
film. It doesn't experience fucked me off. It hasn't sounded like it for the last 15 minutes.
Sorry. It's been a man shouting for 15 minutes about how sorry there's a few bits. The logic doesn't
make sense. There's a few bits. And I think that's my thing is it unzips your, your expectations from
the movie. It then puts you in the critical mindset and then anything that happens because
your belief is suspended, you then revert to human rules. You revert to our universe rules. And then
everything's broken. Then just the fact that it's fiction annoys you. I know I've been yelling and
I'm sorry for yelling because I love seeing the xenomorphs. Right. I love seeing the facehuggers.
I love the fact that the facehuggers were made from the weird Prometheus goo. I hated Prometheus,
but also it's a fun little bit that Rook goes, yeah, but I did something cool with it. And it's
like, you know what you did? You did, you did some pretty fucking cool with it. Yeah. There's,
there's holes in the logic. The logic fucks me off. We genuinely to believe that Whalen
Dutani don't have a radar on board that will pick up a giant space station. That's got two
decades worth of weapons research that they're desperate for, for the next, however many years.
So in 40 years Ripley gets sent to the fucking, to another planet to pick up these fucking
weapons development. So, okay, we figured out that you don't like it. We figured out that you hate
it. So what would you have done differently? It's not that I hate it. I just needed it to make sense.
That's all it was. Right. The bit that sticks with me is the catching of rain when she's fallen
down the elevator shaft and the xenomorph sort of catches her and gently places her on a ladder.
The best thing that went through my head in that moment was it's the end of rain.
So this is exactly my thought. We spoke about this yesterday when we came out of cinema and I was
like, there was a brief moment where I thought the film was going to save itself by rain splatting
doing a Gwen, doing a Spider-Man Gwen at the bottom of the lift shaft. And then Andy being
revealed to be the main character all along. Would have been fucking dope. That would have saved
the film. And it would have had priors because that's exactly what happens in Alien 1979. So
I was like, Oh my God, they're doing it. Yes. They're doing the thing. Yes. And then you would
have had this interesting dynamic of what does Andy do now that his prime directive is no longer
enforceable because his prime directive is do what's best for rain. Rain is no longer there.
So he's then have to figure out his own autonomy. Exactly. Sort of slavery. There's a whole fucking,
exactly, dude, you could have explored that for the third act of the film. It would have been
fucking amazing. Right. And it would have been, what does a synthetic who is invisible to these
aliens see as a threat when this isn't relevant to him? It doesn't have to be relevant to him
anymore. Exactly. He's an unnatural thing against the natural predator. It would have been beautiful.
It would have been beautiful. Yeah. Unfortunately, I think we're old men shouting at clouds. I've
said it before. Every single younger person that I've spoken to loves this movie. They love it.
This is a well reviewed movie. 95% of the people that clicked on this episode enjoy this film.
Yeah. And I'm glad you do. I'm genuinely, genuinely glad that people fucking enjoy this.
It's fine. They're not listening anymore, Ben. They're longer. Good riddance. It sucks. No,
I'm joking. I'm joking. They will have like, they saw the original movies ages ago. Yeah. Like
we've watched all of them. We've gone through the mainline series. If I, I spoke to one of the
young people that I worked with at the restaurant and I was like, Oh, have you seen the old ones?
I like, yeah, man, I've seen Prometheus loads. That's what old alien is to them. And 1979 and
aliens, alien three, alien resurrection. They might've seen bits off when parents have shown
them. They didn't find the latter day stuff problematic. They didn't find it, you know,
they found it fun. They found it scary. They found it weird. And for them, this is a, this is a new
taste. Yeah, of course. This original 1979 alien juice getting injected into Prometheus. They're
like, Oh wow. Yeah. Well, this fits really great. What an original idea. Yeah. That's awesome.
That's genuinely awesome. I'm jealous of those people the same way that I'm jealous of religious
people with the faith. I would fucking, I would love to have that faith. The only thing is,
is I'm snapped out of it when it comes to my own internal workings of logic. Right. And I'm not
saying that it's illogical to be religious. Like I'm just, you know, I mean, for me personally,
it has to make sense in a certain way for me to like fully buy into anything. Totally, totally,
totally. I get that. I get that. But every, this is the, this is the experience of being an alien
fan. If you liked alien 1979 and you saw it when it came out and you're a huge fan, by the time
aliens comes out, you're like, well, that's not alien cause it's not a horror. Yeah. A thousand
percent. It's an action movie. Yeah. And then you'd come out, if you saw aliens in the cinema,
you'd see alien three and you go, but Newton Hicks are dead. Yeah. And that was my alien.
Yeah. And then you'd come out of seeing alien three and you go into alien resurrection, you go,
but Ripley's fucking dead. Yeah. No, I agree. And then you'd watch Prometheus and be sort of like,
I don't understand what the fuck I've just watched. And you'd be right. Right. You would be right.
I think the unifying experience of watching an alien film is going in, having your expectations
violated and 15 years later going, Oh, actually not bad. And I wonder if that's what you're going
to do. I wonder if you're going to go. It's never going to make sense to me. Yeah. It's never going
to make sense, but resurrection doesn't make sense. Alien three doesn't make sense. Why have
you killed them off at the front? Oh, cause we want to focus on rip. Okay. Do you though? Like
I love alien three. It's my favorite alien movie. I can still say that now. It still baffles me.
Yeah. The reason I like alien resurrection is the tone. Yes. Right. Because it doesn't give a fuck
about itself. It's like, we're all here to do one job and that's take the piss out of what we're
doing. So let's just have fun with it. Let's throw some basketball scenes in it. Fuck it. Why not?
Right. And they have fun with it. It's tongue in cheek. It's goofy. It's stupid. It knows what it
is. It's, it's self-aware. Right. This. I think for a new generation of people who've not seen
the films that we have, cause they're not 35 year old men shouting at clouds. Yeah, of course. 16,
17 year olds going to the cinema for their first time. I think they've not seen train spotting.
They've never seen a baby crawl on a ceiling. This is their first baby crawling on a ceiling film.
All right. Is that your Danny Boyle link? Yeah. Because Danny Boyle was approached to do alien
resurrection and he said, Oh, I've never, the only special effect I've ever done is a baby
crawling on a ceiling. And I for one rate Feday for picking up that link. Okay. He obviously
listens to the show. He does. Added that late in the game. That's why it's in there, Ben. That's
why the fifth act of this film is so weird. I fed a herd, our podcast and went, Oh yeah, baby on
the ceiling. I'm going to do that. Sick. I took that as Feday calling Danny Boyle out, you know,
right? I took that as Feday looking at Danny Boyle's career, be like spoiling your own film
by saying that everyone's dead. Easy done, mate. But you know what? I'm going to spoil my own film
by adding a fifth act. I'm not going to be a pussy about this. I'm going to make the alien
resurrection that you couldn't. Yeah. I'm going to put a baby on the ceiling. I'm going to make
the alien resurrection. Also, everyone's dead. There you go, mate. Pure Danny Boyle. Fuck you.
I tell you, the biggest victim of this film is though, speaking of baby on the ceiling.
You know, the newborn at the end of this movie is, is, is not a practical effect. It's a man.
It's a man whose body is like that. And all the reviews are like, Oh, that monster at the end,
disgusting, terrifying nightmare fuel, absolute mess of human waste mixed in with alien disgustingness.
Oh, it's so fucking gross. That's a man who was seven foot seven, seven tall. Yeah. And he's
called Robert Baro, Baro, sorry, Robert. Nailed it. You haven't had a bad enough week as it is
with these reviews. I was going to say, man, can you imagine just sort of like being Bob in this
point and then Feday's just sitting across the table being like, I'd maybe skip the reviews on
this one, Bob. I'd maybe give this one a miss. You know what I mean? And when you, when you Google
him, just, just, you know, listeners Google alien Romulus newborn actor. He's a basketball player.
You know, he's had a successful basketball career and it's just, it's literally just him in a suit.
But it's the best, it's one of the best practical, practical effects in the film. And I've seen a few
behind the scenes things of them making the, like an animatronic xenomorph and it's fucking incredible.
There's a, I'm not sure if I can find it, but if I can find it, I'll put it in our discord.
It's a, it's a full breakdown of it going from conception to like fully fledged, all singing,
all dancing. And it's an amazing fucking, it's an amazing transition of what they've done,
like pure feet of cinematic genius. Incredible. Nice. And the creature design in this film,
fucking spot on. Holy shit. Was it good to see the face of this act in the way that they did?
Yeah. The two little fucking legs at the front act in as like little pincer type things like
spider, but also with the weird fuck off like stinger tail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Disgusting, but amazing. And I think, I think this is my point is that the alternative to alien
Romulus is no alien films. No, it's alien Remus and it's directed by Danny Boyle.
Okay. Fair point. I get that this film is logically inconsistent. I get that it folds in a bunch of
stuff that doesn't make sense. And I get that I don't necessarily, this is not the film I wanted.
Same. It's so far from the film I wanted. I wanted a nice tidy reinvigoration, just a,
just to remake it by another name with a different crew, just to get that concept back into cinema
with modern effects and being effect, like the ones anymore of being an effective monster again,
would have just tickled my pickle all the way. And I didn't get that, but I did get a flock,
a gaggle, a colony, a clusterfuck, an army, a clusterfuck, a clusterfuck of facehuggers.
That's the new name. Just slapping wet face. I got an incredible Xanomorph. Incredible. I got a
really good, even if it is only 27 minutes old, it looked fucking banging. You know what I mean?
It looked gorgeous. I wasn't down with the lightning head, but fuck it. I wasn't down
with a catching a fucking catching your prey and putting it on a ladder so you can sniff it a bit.
You know what I mean? But that's fine. Who am I to judge? I don't know. Is there more fucking motives?
It's just, yeah, it's disappointing, but I'm also, I'm glad it's out there. I'm glad that it's
successful. And I'm glad that there are people out there discovering this franchise for the first time
having a wonderful time with it. And they'll go back. And it doesn't have to be for me
because I'm old and I've had my time with the franchise. This is it. I had decades with it.
This is it. I'm with you a thousand percent here. Cause as much as I've been like pissed off about
the logic and all of this stuff and I'm, I, my love hate, the thing that's annoyed me the most
is I wanted to be wrong about Feday in this film. I wanted him to put me wrong. And when he didn't,
I was like, well, now I'm just, I don't know if my ego can take this bump. Do you know what I mean?
Like I don't trust it enough as it is, but- You're a hater. There's now officially a man
in the world who you hate. You carry that around with you. You go to work over day and it's just a
little bit of your heart that's got hate in it. For Feday. For a man that just- Who doesn't know
I exist. Just picks your franchises. So you can just do a little poop in them. Yeah. He literally
picks everything I know in love and just shits on it. I'm literally, it's going to get to Christmas
and he's just, my sister's going to go and be like, I made a new mate. Who is it? Feday. And he just
shows up with like a fish in that over my sister being like, ha ha ha ruined Christmas. The thing
that I'm like insanely fucking insanely excited about is the fact that people are seeing Alien
for the first time. They're getting into this franchise for the first time and they don't need
to watch the rest of the franchise to be into it because Feday speed runs every other film that
exists in the first four acts of this film. Which is great. Also retroactively things will make more
sense. Exactly man. Alien resurrection. They'll be like, oh no, I get that. That's not a weird left
to feel thing. Because it would have already been like, okay, that's canon then. And it will be a
fun time for him. It's going to be nothing but uphill. Even Alien 3 is going to be uphill for
the people that are discovering Alien right now. How dare you? Not dare me. Alien 3 is the peak.
Alien 3 is the fucking peak of summit. Yeah. It's the peak of summit. It's the peak of the trough.
All right. I don't think you like Alien, Ben. I love Alien. I think you like two films. I like
three films. Three films out of 15. Yes. Right. Okay. Yeah. Oh no, I like Alien versus Predator
as well. Those are fucking stupid. I like them. Okay. They make no sense and mean nothing to anyone.
It feels a little bit like you're a Metallica fan. Just going like, yeah, they got that one good album.
They got a couple. Oh yeah. There we go. I'm not really a Metallica fan though. I love Alien. I love
Aliens. I love Alien Resurrection. I like Alien versus Predator because it's stupid and it like
independently takes the piss out of two franchises that I really like. Yeah. It's fun. It's a fun
thing. It's the same reason that I like, uh, Freddy versus Jason. It's a, it's a throwaway film. It
means nothing to either of them, but it's just a stupid, oh yeah. But imagine, you know what I mean?
Right. It's that. So I feel like we just covered Ty West's, um, ex-Perla Maxine trilogy. We have.
And I feel like your experience watching this film was my experience watching Maxine.
The first half of it, you've got a set of expectations and then halfway through it goes, no.
Oh, that's quite good. That's quite good analogy actually. Kind of. And that's, that's how I felt.
It's that thing of like, I'm set up, you're doing the thing. Yeah. And then whilst, whilst I'm eating
this meal, you take it away and you give me something that I'm allergic to. Yeah. And then go,
you liked it, right? And I'm like, uh, in parts, parts of it, good mouth feel, good mouth feel.
Good mouth feel. Right. Yeah. That's exactly where I'm at. And it's fine. Cause the film's not for
me. The film's not for me. It's for everyone else. That's going to go and fucking enjoy the alien
franchise for the first time. And Feday's knocked out the fucking park for those people. So fair
play. He smashed it. He did the same thing for the evil dad. He was like, you know, here's,
here's a really gruesome fucking horror film for the horror fans. And it was like, yep, super,
super gory horror movie. Great horror movie. Yeah. Just not for me. Not my evil dad. And that's fine.
That's completely fine. I'm going to go watch this film again. Are you? Cause I need to. Okay. Yeah,
I need to, I need to support it more. I think, I think as much as the logic doesn't make sense
to me, it's a fucking rip roaring good time. Yeah. There's some great deaths. There's some stupid
shit where I'm like, ha ha. And it makes no fucking sense. And that's fine. I can enjoy myself in
different ways. I think the most important thing is that aliens being made. Yeah. Yeah. 100%
Aliens being made, man. We're like living it. This is it. I don't want this to be the last
episode. No, it can't have our podcast cannot about the alien franchise. It cannot categorically.
Can I, I'm going to go support the shout out of this. Although Feday has already teased a pitch
for an alien versus predator movie, which I swear to God, I think he might nail because
those films already ruined the franchises for me. So you might nail that one. I mean, that might be
the, that might be my Feday movie. You know what I mean? I feel like, I feel like Feday is so hated
by you probably because every franchise he touches, he claims to love deeply. That's the worst. He's a
fucking incredible filmmaker that just shits on my entire personality. So I think there's a little
bit where it's like, he doesn't know my franchise well enough to not get the basic facts right.
Yeah. But he's allowed to make movies. Why aren't I allowed to make movies? Cause I know this
franchise better than he does. But he's, he is hands down a fucking incredible filmmaker and
no one can say anything different. He's insanely good at making films. It's just the storytelling.
Yeah. His storytelling lets me down, but other people love it. And that's awesome.
He should go in the Blomkamp pile of people who should direct films they haven't written.
We almost had a fucking Blomkamp alien and we got this shit instead. Are we being serious?
You've just brought that into my head now. Fuck the shit sandwich I'm ending on this. Where's
Blomkamp's alien? I want the alien with the fucking goggles on. I want the weird robotic shit to come
into it. Where the fuck is Blomkamp? I want that film only to spite you because when you see it,
you'll hate it. And I'll go, fucking see, I told you Blomkamp was shit. Nah, let's set the next alien.
Let's give Blomkamp the next alien movie and let's set it in the Sims world that was demonic.
Let's do that. They travel by head gear into the Sims. No. Yes. Okay. Yes. And then it turns out
they're just in alien isolation. Holy shit. I want to see what an Oculus Rift or a Vive looks like
for a Xenomorph. How long is that strap? Yes. How many extenders do Amazon need to sell to one
Xenomorph? Let's go. I'm in for it. We don't have time for Comic Corner this week. We've got time
for something far more special. We do. There is a friend of ours who has helped us immensely with
this show. They run the Instagram account called Alien the Eighth Passenger. And if you've listened
to any of this series, you've heard them before. But let me say, if you are into alien, this is the
Instagram account. He's the guy to go to. And this is the last time we're going to hear from him for
a while. And that makes me very sad because A, his voice is gorgeous. It is like listening to
fucking Velvet and the fact that he is an absolute legend when it comes to the alien franchise.
I have looked at this guy's account more times than I care to admit when it comes to research.
Because there is so much information that's just readily available and it's all cool little
insights that you wouldn't normally expect. And he just has it out there ready for you.
He does it for fun. It's fucking incredible. Love him. Here is what he had to say about Alien
Romulus. I wasn't asking you, Carducci. I was asking the expert.
Hello, dear friends of every movie ever. Alien Romulus has finally arrived and I have mixed
feelings about it. I really liked it and enjoyed it, but I didn't love it as much as I would have
liked. So these are my thoughts. I'll start by saying it's a pretty effective movie. It has
everything an Alien movie should have. Lots of tension, impressive horror and action scenes.
The art design, production, sound and visual effects are top notch. The face huggers and
xenomorphs look spectacular. And having practical effects back is like a breath of fresh air.
You can tell how much respect Fede Alvarez has for the saga, both as a director and as a fan as
well. My biggest issue, I think, is the story. I feel it's somewhat weak, though it has some great
contributions. There were a few surprises for me, especially in the second half and how they
resolved some situations. I found it quite predictable. The third ad, which has been very
controversial, I won't spoil. I'll just say I really liked it. I think it's where they took the
most risks and personally it's what I would have loved to see more of throughout the film. Finally,
I think the most important aspect of the movie is how well it fits into the Alien world. It works on
its own, but as a homage at the same time, while still making its own contributions, which is very
difficult to achieve. It's definitely a great addition to the saga. People are loving it and
it's getting very good reviews as well. Let's hope it does well at the box office, because that would
mean we see more xenomorphs in the big screen. I'm giving it an 8 out of 10. That's my rating.
Lastly, I want to thank you guys for the invitation. I know this is the last episode of the Alien
series. It's been a great honor to collaborate with you. Alien the 8 passenger here, signing off.
What a fucking sweetheart. Incredible. What an absolute sweetheart. I love that man so fucking
much. I'm gonna miss having him in as the fucking ask the expert. Well, you say that, you say that,
but I've got a confession to make then. Go on. Our new series after Alien. Yeah. We've already
started it, mate. What are we doing for it? Well, there's one director in this franchise for whom
his entry represents the very first entry he ever made. Fincher. David fucking Fincher.
We're gonna do every David Fincher movie ever. Okay. I am so down for this. Also, quick side
thought. The Crow remake is about to come out. Oh, you want to do a summer of summer of shit.
You want to do. I want to do. I want to do. Because Romulus didn't make you angry enough.
You're going to just full mainline. I want to mainline it. I want to fucking eyeball
the what have you done to my movies. Okay. Okay. So how about this? We do a late summer,
early autumn of incredible films by David Fincher. Yes. And some stuff at the cinema
that we don't know how it got a sequel or why it has a sequel. Perfect. Let's do that. Yeah.
Fuck it. Let's do the Crow. The Crow next then. Let's do the Crow. Let's do the Crow next week.
We'll just be able to fit in. Yeah. Perfect. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'll do
the Crow. We'll do Fincher. We've got more surprises planned, but they're surprises. So yeah.
Yeah. Keep your eyes peeled this week for a special surprise midweek. That's all we're going
to tell you. It's special. It's surprise. It's midweek. Ben. Yes, mate. What are you, uh,
I don't know why I'm asking this. What are you going to rate Alien Romulus, Ben? Four. Four.
Rating it a four. Wow. All of those points are for the filmmaking aspects. They're fucking.
Actually, no, no, no. I'm going to do a five. I'm going to do five. Right. Because it's a great fucking film
from a filmmaker's perspective. Right. It looks great. It sounds great. It's fucking gorgeous.
The end to end. Uh, it loses all five points because of the piss week story and all of the
massive gaping holes in the logic that make no fucking sense whatsoever. But also it looks very
good though. Nice shit sandwich there, buddy. Thanks, man. What are you rating it? I'm gonna,
I'm going to go with seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Yeah. Okay. Because I don't get annoyed with the
universe not making sense. I get annoyed with people not making sense. The people in this,
as thin as they are, make perfect sense. There are parts of the subtext that are raised and then
never picked up. There are set pieces that are wasted. There's a, there's lots wrong with it.
I was just so happy to see big screens, xenomorphs again. Yeah. To be fair. Being scary.
Face huggers, man. And fay a gaggle, a clusterfuck of, uh, uh,
clusterfuck of face huggers. Just that alone. I'm just happy. I'm happy it's back.
And then, no, it's not perfect. It's pretty fucking far from perfect, but maybe we'll get there.
Maybe we'll get there. But it's fucking fun. You know what I mean? And that's what matters
at the end of the day. Yeah. Unfortunately guys, that is all the time we have for you this week.
We love and appreciate each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts. We really do.
Make sure you go check us out on our socials. We're on Insta, TikTok, fucking Discord. Join
our Discord. Super fun times to be had. In the meantime, Ben is going to thank you
for spending an hour of your week with us, especially at the start of the week. I know
a lot of you listen on a Monday. So Ben's going to turn this into a little Monday motivation pep talk
by summing up the thoughts, themes and feelings of this movie into something you can carry with you
to help you get through those tough times. I'm just going to tell you to consume.
Listen, if you're being held in a place and you're trying to escape, you've done all your
fucking hours, you're like, Oh, I can finally get to a Vaga and some pencil pushing dickhead
is like, now mate doubled your fucking hours. See you in six years. Ignore them. You know what I mean?
They don't have radars. They don't even know that there's a fucking space station above their head
with two decades worth of weapons research that they spend the next 500 years trying to fucking
get back. They don't give a shit. Just go do your thing, man. Live your fucking dreams. You know
I mean, if Arka's waiting for you, if Arka's waiting for you, no single fucking radar.