Welcome to Pamoja Ministry. There comes a moment
when you begin looking backward over your life
differently. You remember people. Some loved
you. Some believed in you. Some opened doors
for you. Some carried you through difficult seasons.
Some taught you. Some corrected you. Some disappointed
you. Some betrayed you. Some made you cry. Some
made you pray. Some walked beside you for years.
Others appeared for only a moment. And sometimes,
years later, you begin to recognize something
you could not see while you were living through
it. God was working through relationships too.
Not because everything people did was God's will.
Not because everyone who hurt you was sent by
God. Not because betrayal suddenly becomes good.
because something good eventually came from it,
but because when your life belongs to God, no
human encounter is beyond his ability to redeem
and use, and perhaps some of the people you remember
only by what they did to you need to be reconsidered
through the larger story of what God was doing
in you. Today we are talking about the people
God uses in your process. Joseph's story is filled
with people. When we think about Joseph, we often
think about Joseph and God. Joseph received the
dream. Joseph entered the pit. Joseph became
a slave. Joseph entered prison. Joseph eventually
reached Pharaoh's palace. But look more carefully.
Joseph's journey was filled with people. Jacob
loved him. His brothers hated him. The Midianite
traders transported him. Potiphar purchased him.
Potiphar's wife falsely accused him. The prison
keeper trusted him. The cup bearer forgot him.
Pharaoh eventually promoted him. Different people.
Different motives. Different seasons. Different
effects. But one story. And this is where Providence
becomes mysterious. because some people were
helping Joseph intentionally. Others were hurting
him intentionally. Yet God remained sovereign
over where the story was going. Joseph's brothers
never said, let us help Joseph fulfill his dream.
They wanted the opposite. They saw him coming
and said, essentially, let's see what becomes
of his dreams. They believed removing Joseph
would remove the dream, but their actions eventually
moved Joseph toward the geographical location
where the dream would unfold. Think about that.
They were fighting what they did not realize
they were helping position. That does not make
their betrayal righteous. Their intentions were
evil. Joseph himself eventually tells them, you
meant evil against me. but God meant it for good.
Human intention and divine providence were operating
in the same story, but they were not morally
the same thing. They meant evil. God produced
good. Some people will bless you. There are people
God allows to enter our lives whose role is obvious.
They encourage us. They believe in us. They pray
for us. They support us. They correct us with
love. They stand beside us when everybody else
disappears. Paul had Barnabas. David had Jonathan.
Moses had Aaron and Her. Ruth had Naomi. Timothy
had Paul. There are seasons when God answers
prayers through people. You pray, God, help me.
And God sends someone who says, how can I help?
You pray, God, encourage me. and someone's phone
call arrives at exactly the right moment. You
pray for direction and someone says something
they may not even realize God will use. You are
exhausted and someone helps carry the weight.
Never become so spiritual that you fail to recognize
when God's provision arrives wearing a human
face. Sometimes the miracle is a person. Some
people will correct you. Then there are people
whose role is less comfortable. They tell you
something you do not want to hear. Nathan stood
before David. David was king. Nathan could have
remained silent. But Nathan said, you are the
man. Correction became part of David's refining
process. We often pray, God, show me what is
wrong. Then God uses someone to show us. and
we become angry with the person. Sometimes the
answer to your prayer for growth arrives as correction.
That does not mean every criticism is from God.
People can criticize from jealousy, misunderstanding,
insecurity, or their own wounds. That is why
discernment matters. But neither should we reject
every uncomfortable voice simply because it makes
us uncomfortable. Sometimes God places someone
close enough to us to see what applause has prevented
us from seeing. A wise person learns to ask,
God, even if I dislike how this was said, is
there something here you want me to examine?
That is maturity. Some people will make you pray.
then there are people you probably would never
have selected for your story. Difficult people.
Opposition. People who misunderstand you. People
who challenge your patience. People whose behavior
drives you back into the presence of God. And
again, we need theological maturity. Do not automatically
say, God sent this person to torment me. We do
not know that. But we can say, God. Since this
person is in this chapter of my life, do not
allow this experience to be wasted. Maybe their
behavior exposes your anger. Maybe their criticism
exposes your insecurity. Maybe their opposition
strengthens your prayer life. Maybe dealing with
them teaches you boundaries. Maybe their dishonesty
teaches you discernment. Maybe their rejection
teaches you that your identity cannot depend
upon human approval. Maybe their pressure teaches
you how to remain peaceful without controlling
everybody around you. You may never thank God
for what somebody did wrong, but one day you
may thank Him for what He developed in you while
you were dealing with it. Some people teach you
what not to become. Not every teacher teaches
by example. Some people teach by warning you
encounter a leader who humiliates people and
you learn if God ever gives me authority I don't
want to lead like that You experience someone's
dishonesty and you decide I want integrity to
define me You experience abandonment and it makes
you more sensitive to people who feel forgotten
You experience harshness and it develops compassion
You experience betrayal. And after healing, you
understand why loyalty matters. Sometimes somebody
else's character becomes a mirror showing you
the kind of person you refuse to become. Even
that can become part of refinement. Some people
are for a season. This may be difficult for some
of us. We sometimes assume that because someone
was important in one chapter, they must remain
equally important in every chapter. But scripture
shows relationships changing across seasons.
There are people who help you in one place, but
cannot accompany you everywhere. That does not
always mean somebody did something wrong. Sometimes
assignments change, geography changes, responsibilities
change, capacity changes, life changes. Paul
and Barnabas ministered together powerfully,
yet later separated after serious disagreement.
Their separation was painful enough that scripture
records it, yet ministry continued. Barnabas
went with Mark. Paul went with Silas. And later,
Paul himself would speak positively about Mark.
The story continued. Sometimes a relationship
changes without requiring us to rewrite the entire
relationship as a mistake. Something can have
been meaningful and still have been seasonal.
That is important. You do not have to demonize
someone simply because the season changed. You
can honor what was good without forcing what
has ended. Don't force people to remain in a
chapter God has closed. Sometimes we spend enormous
emotional energy trying to keep people in positions
they no longer occupy. We keep reopening conversations,
revisiting old relationships, trying to recreate
old seasons, trying to force yesterday's connection
into today's assignment. But refinement sometimes
includes learning to release, not in anger, not
in bitterness. Not through public humiliation,
but with maturity. Thank God for what was good.
Learn from what was painful. Forgive what needs
forgiveness. Take responsibility for what was
yours. And continue walking. Because sometimes
the problem is not that somebody left. The problem
is that emotionally, you never allowed them to
leave. Some people introduce you to the next
room. Then there are relationships that appear
small when they begin but become significant
later Joseph met the cup bearer in prison at
the time. He was simply another prisoner Joseph
interpreted his dream the cup bearer was restored
Then he forgot Joseph two more years passed Imagine
Joseph's disappointment the person who could
have helped him forgot him But when Pharaoh dreamed
and nobody could interpret it, the cup bearer
remembered. One relationship, one conversation,
one interpretation. Years later, a door opened.
You don't always know which encounter will matter
later. That is why we should treat people with
dignity, even when we cannot see what role they
may have in our future. Not because we manipulate
relationships for advancement. but because God
connects stories in ways we cannot predict. And
some people will forget you. This deserves attention.
The cup bearer forgot Joseph, and perhaps Joseph
thought, this was my opportunity. But Joseph's
promotion did not depend ultimately upon the
cup bearer's memory. When the appointed moment
came, the memory returned. Sometimes we become
frustrated because somebody who could help us
does not help us. They forgot. They moved on.
They didn't make the call. They didn't recommend
us. They didn't open the door. But if God has
attached purpose to your life, your future is
not imprisoned inside another person's willingness
to remember you. People can forget you. God does
not. And when the right moment arrives, God knows
how to bring your name into rooms you cannot
enter by yourself. Remember this principle. Don't
build your purpose around people. This is where
balance becomes necessary. People matter. Relationships
matter. Community matters. Mentorship matters.
Family matters. Friendship matters. But people
are not God. Do not make somebody so important
to your future that their departure convinces
you your purpose departed with them. Joseph's
brothers could not cancel his dream. Potiphar's
wife could not cancel his dream. The prison could
not cancel his dream. The cup bearer's forgetfulness
could not cancel his dream. Because the dream
did not originate with them. What people did
not give you People do not have ultimate authority
to take away from you. If God entrusted the purpose,
remain faithful to God. But there is another
side. Be careful who you give access to. Not
everybody should have equal access to your life.
We learned in conversation five. Bad company
can water bad seeds. First, Corinthians 1533.
warns that bad company corrupts good character.
Jesus loved everybody. But Jesus did not give
everybody the same level of access. There were
crowds. There were disciples. There were the
twelve. And there were moments when Peter, James,
and John were brought even closer. Love can be
universal. Access should be discerning. You can
forgive someone without restoring the same level
of access. You can love someone without allowing
them to influence your decisions. You can pray
for someone without making them your counselor.
You can wish someone well without bringing them
back into a place where they repeatedly weakened
your boundaries. Refinement includes learning
who can speak into your life. Maybe instead of
asking only, do I like this person? Ask, what
does this relationship produce in me? Does it
strengthen my faith? Does it encourage integrity?
Does it respect my marriage? Does it strengthen
my discipline? Does it challenge me toward purpose?
Can this person correct me? Can I tell them the
truth? Can they tell me the truth? Or does this
relationship continually normalize compromise,
feed resentment, encourage gossip, weaken boundaries,
increase secrecy, pull me away from prayer, make
disobedience easier, relationships are seeds
too, and relationships produce harvests. God
may use people without allowing them to stay.
Here is something else we need to understand.
Someone can be important to your process without
being permanent in your life. The person who
helped you through one valley may not be assigned
to your next mountain. The person who introduced
you to something may not be the person who helps
you build it. The person who taught you one lesson
may not remain for the entire journey. And sometimes
we dishonor a season because we demand permanence
from something God used temporarily. Instead,
learn to say, Thank you, God, for what this relationship
produced during its season. And when appropriate,
release it peacefully. A question remains. What
about the people who hurt you? Now we arrive
at the hardest category. What about betrayal?
What about false accusation? What about rejection?
What about somebody who intentionally tried to
harm you? Joseph eventually stood before the
brothers who sold him. He now possessed authority.
He could retaliate. He could imprison them. He
could humiliate them. Instead, Joseph had developed
enough perspective to say, you meant evil against
me, but God meant it for good. Notice what Joseph
did not say. He did not say, what you did was
good. He called it evil. But he also understood
something greater. Their intention did not determine
his ending. That is freedom. When you can acknowledge
what happened without allowing what happened
to become the final interpretation of your life.
They may have meant harm, but they do not own
the conclusion. Don't give your enemies too much
credit. Sometimes we talk more about what enemies
are doing than what God is doing. The enemy blocked
me. The enemy attacked me. The enemy delayed
me. The enemy sent this person. The enemy closed
this door. And eventually our theology makes
the enemy sound almost sovereign. He isn't. Joseph's
brothers had intentions. Potiphar's wife had
intentions. The cup bearer had failures. But
above all of those human decisions stood the
providence of God. This doesn't mean God approved
their actions. It means their actions were incapable
of overthrowing his redemptive purpose. That
is a very different kind of confidence. Maybe
you don't understand their role yet. Some relationships
only make sense later. Joseph could not fully
interpret his brother from inside the pit. He
could not fully interpret Potiphar's house from
inside the prison. He could not fully interpret
the cupbearer's forgetfulness during those additional
years of waiting. But eventually, perspective
changed, and maybe there are people in your story
you cannot interpret yet. Don't rush. Don't make
permanent theological conclusions from temporary
pain. You may not know yet what God is producing.
You may not know what this relationship is teaching
you. You may not know what boundary is being
developed. You may not know what prayer life
is being born. You may not know what discernment
is being sharpened. You may not know what future
person will benefit from what you are learning
today. You are still inside the chapter. This
principle remains true. God uses people, but
God remains the source. So appreciate the people
who bless you. Honor the people who support you.
Listen to wise correction. Forgive those who
hurt you. establish boundaries where necessary,
release relationships whose seasons have ended,
learn from difficult people, and remain open
to the new people God may bring into your life.
But never confuse the instrument with the source.
People can help you. God is your source. People
can encourage you. God is your source. People
can open doors. God is your source. People can
recommend you God is your source People can forget
you God is still your source People can walk
away God is still your source People can misunderstand
you God is still your source People can even
intentionally oppose you God remains your source
You have been refined through relationships Maybe
some of the greatest refining fires of your life
came through people. They exposed your impatience.
They exposed your need for approval. They exposed
your anger. They exposed your fear of rejection.
They exposed your inability to establish boundaries.
They exposed your tendency to retaliate. But
perhaps God is using those experiences to produce
something different now. wisdom, discernment,
boundaries, forgiveness, patience, humility,
compassion, dependence upon Him. You cannot always
choose who enters the story. But by the grace
of God, you can choose what the experience produces
in you. So don't waste the relationship. Don't
waste the disappointment. Don't waste the correction.
Don't waste the encouragement. Don't waste the
betrayal. Don't waste the support. Don't waste
the lesson. Bring all of it before God and ask,
God, what are you teaching me through this? Because
some people will bless you. Some will correct
you. Some will challenge you. Some will make
you pray. Some will teach you boundaries. Some
will introduce you to another room. Some will
stay. Some will leave. but none of them possess
final authority over your purpose. God does.
And when your life is surrendered to Him, He
is able to take even the relationships you did
not understand and weave their lessons into the
person you are becoming. You are learning. You
are discerning. You are forgiving. You are establishing
boundaries. You are becoming wiser about access.
You are becoming less dependent upon human approval.
You are becoming more dependent upon God. You
are being refined for a purpose. This is Pomoja
Ministry. And in our next conversation, we will
discover that sometimes God does not only use
people to move us. Sometimes he uses discomfort.
Because there are places we would remain forever
if staying there continued to feel comfortable.