Welcome to Pomoja Ministry. Throughout this journey
of refined for a purpose, God has been taking
us deeper. We began by asking, what if the intervention
was about you? Then we discovered that the fire
reveals what success can hide. And in our last
conversation, we established a foundational principle.
Discipline protects vision. But now we must bring
that discipline into one of the most difficult
areas of human life to govern. Our words. Our
reactions. Our conversations. Our mouth. Because
you can discipline your schedule. You can discipline
your finances. You can discipline your body.
You can establish boundaries in relationships.
You can walk away from certain environments.
But James asks us to examine something we carry
everywhere we go, the tongue. And James chapter
3 gives us one of the strongest teachings in
scripture about spiritual maturity. A bit, a
rudder, a spark, three small things. Yet each
one possesses the ability to control, redirect,
or destroy something much larger than itself.
And perhaps James is warning us, never underestimate
something simply because it appears small. James
3 -2 says, if anyone does not stumble in what
he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle
his whole body. That is an extraordinary statement.
James connects control of the tongue with maturity.
Why? Because controlling your mouth requires
control over something deeper. Your emotions.
Your pride. Your anger. Your ego. Your need to
be right. Your desire to defend yourself. Your
need to retaliate. Your desire to expose what
you know. Your frustration. Your insecurity.
Sometimes the battle is not really with your
mouth. The mouth is simply revealing the battle
happening inside your heart. Jesus said that
out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth
speaks. So when God begins refining our speech,
he is not simply teaching vocabulary. He is reaching
into the heart. The bit, the rudder, and the
fire. James gives us three powerful pictures.
First, the bit. A horse is powerful, much stronger
than the person riding it, yet something small
placed in its mouth can direct the entire animal.
Then James speaks about ships. A ship can be
enormous, driven by powerful winds, yet a comparatively
small rudder determines its direction. Then James
gives perhaps the most frightening picture, fire.
A tiny spark can burn an entire forest. Think
about that. The spark is small. The consequences
are enormous. And so are words. A sentence may
take five seconds to speak. But the consequences
may remain for five years. One statement can
damage trust. One rumor can damage a reputation.
One angry response can damage a relationship.
One careless comment can wound a child. One humiliating
statement from a leader can remain in an employee's
mind for years. One conversation can divide a
church. One accusation can destroy a friendship.
One secret revealed carelessly can change someone's
life. One post can reach thousands of people
before wisdom has time to catch up with emotion.
The words were small. The forest was large. We
have been talking throughout this season about
fire. But James introduces another kind of fire.
A fire we can start ourselves. This is important.
Not every fire in your life came from an enemy.
Not every battle was started by someone else.
Sometimes we have to possess enough humility
to say, my mouth started this one. I said too
much. I responded too quickly. I spoke while
angry. I repeated something that wasn't mine
to repeat. I assumed something before knowing
the facts. I spoke from offense rather than wisdom.
I humiliated someone because I had authority.
I wanted to win the argument more than I wanted
to preserve the relationship. I was right in
what I said, but wrong in how I said it. That
realization is painful. But remember what we
learned. Exposure can be mercy. If God shows
you that your mouth has become a source of unnecessary
fires, He is not showing you so you can live
in shame. He is showing you because He wants
to refine you. This is where maturity becomes
difficult. Because sometimes we believe that
if something is true, we automatically have permission
to say it. But truth and wisdom are not enemies.
You can possess truthful information and still
need wisdom about when to say it, where to say
it, how to say it, why you are saying it, and
whether you are the person who should say it.
There are moments when silence is not weakness.
Silence is discipline. You may know something
about someone. That does not mean you must broadcast
it. You may have evidence capable of embarrassing
someone. That does not mean humiliation is righteous.
You may have the perfect response to an insult.
That does not mean you need to release it. You
may be able to win the argument, but winning
the argument may cost you something more valuable
than the argument itself. Discipline asks, what
am I trying to protect? One of the hardest disciplines
is learning that you do not have to answer everything
said about you. That is difficult, especially
when you know the truth, especially when you
possess information that could defend your reputation,
especially when someone has misunderstood your
motives. Everything inside you wants to respond,
correct them, explain yourself, expose them,
show everybody the evidence, but sometimes God
says, Be still. Jesus demonstrated extraordinary
restraint. Isaiah's prophecy describes him as
a lamb before its shearers who did not open his
mouth. That does not mean Christians should never
defend themselves. There are appropriate times
to answer accusations, pursue justice, establish
facts, and speak truth. But there is a difference
between defense governed by wisdom and reaction
governed by wounded pride. One seeks truth, the
other seeks retaliation. And only the Holy Spirit
can sometimes show us which one is speaking.
Anger wants immediate access to your mouth. Anger
is not always sinful. Scripture says, be angry
and do not sin. So the presence of anger is not
necessarily the problem. The question is, what
does anger receive permission to control? your
hands, your decisions, your messages, your social
media, your mouth. Anger wants immediacy. It
says, say it now. Wisdom says, wait. Anger says,
send the message. Wisdom says, read it tomorrow.
Anger says, make sure they understand who they
are dealing with. Wisdom asks, what will this
accomplish? Sometimes, one of the greatest acts
of self -discipline is refusing to give temporary
emotion permanent vocabulary, because tomorrow
your anger may be gone, but your words may still
be living in somebody else's heart. We discussed
Moses in our previous conversation, but look
again at Numbers 20. Israel complains. Moses
is frustrated. God gives Moses instructions.
But when Moses stands before the people, something
comes out of his mouth. Hear now, you rebels.
Then Moses acts. Years of frustration appear
in one moment. And this is where leadership becomes
serious. Because leaders often carry accumulated
pressure. People complain. People misunderstand.
People criticize. People expect. People demand.
And if that pressure is never surrendered to
God, Eventually, it can find an exit, sometimes
through the mouth. This is why leaders especially
need private places of surrender, because if
you don't release your frustration before God,
you may release it onto people. There is another
level of refinement that happens when you become
a leader. When you have authority, your words
carry different weight. A joke from a co -worker
is one thing. The same joke from a supervisor
may feel completely different. A careless statement
from a stranger may disappear. A careless statement
from a parent can remain in a child's memory
for decades. A frustrated comment from a church
member is one thing. The same statement from
a spiritual leader may deeply wound someone.
Authority amplifies words. Therefore, greater
authority requires greater discipline. James
begins his teaching with a warning. Not many
of you should become teachers, for you know that
we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
Why begin there? Because influence creates responsibility.
The more people listen to you, the more carefully
you must speak. The greater your authority, the
greater your responsibility to govern your mouth.
James wrote about the tongue long before smartphones,
long before Facebook, long before TikTok, long
before YouTube, long before comment sections.
But imagine James chapter three in our generation.
Today, your tongue has Wi -Fi. A reaction that
once might have reached five people can reach
5 ,000. You can become angry at 10 o 'clock,
write something at 10 .02, post it at 10 .03,
and by 10 .10, people you have never met are
participating in an emotion that may have already
passed. Technology has increased the reach of
the tongue, but increased reach requires increased
discipline. Not everything you feel belongs online.
Not every disagreement requires a post. Not every
accusation requires a public response. Not every
private conflict should become public content.
Sometimes deleting the post is discipline. Sometimes
closing the app is discipline. Sometimes writing
the response and never sending it is discipline.
Sometimes praying before posting is refinement.
Gossip When information becomes entertainment.
We also need to talk about gossip, because gossip
can disguise itself as concern. I'm only telling
you so you can pray. Maybe. But would you still
tell them if there were no interesting details?
Would you say the same thing if the person were
sitting beside you? Would you want someone discussing
your weakness in the same way? Gossip takes someone
else's vulnerability. and turns it into conversational
currency. And sometimes the greatest evidence
of maturity is possessing information you have
the power to spread and choosing not to. Trust
requires disciplined mouths. Families require
disciplined mouths. Friendships require disciplined
mouths. Churches require disciplined mouths.
Leadership requires disciplined mouths. But James's
warning should not make us afraid of speaking,
because the tongue is not only capable of destruction.
Words can heal. Words can restore. Words can
encourage. Words can reconcile. Words can bless.
Words can teach. Words can defend someone who
cannot defend themselves. Words can speak truth
into confusion. Words can remind someone who
has fallen that mercy still exists. Words can
tell a child, I believe in you. Words can tell
a spouse, I appreciate you. Words can tell someone
who has failed, get up again. Words can tell
someone walking through fire, you are not alone.
The same mouth capable of starting fires can
become an instrument of healing. And that is
what refinement does. God does not simply want
to silence your mouth. He wants to sanctify it.
Think about Peter. Peter often spoke before thinking.
He corrected Jesus. He made bold promises he
could not sustain. He denied Jesus three times.
Peter's mouth repeatedly revealed his impulsiveness.
But then something happened. The Holy Spirit
transformed Peter. And the same man, whose mouth
once revealed instability stood on the day of
Pentecost and proclaimed Christ with courage
and clarity. Thousands responded. Think about
that transformation. God did not remove Peter's
voice. God refined it. The same mouth that had
been associated with denial became a mouth associated
with proclamation. That is redemption. God does
not necessarily want to remove your personality.
He wants to govern it. He doesn't necessarily
want to remove your boldness. He wants to sanctify
it. He doesn't necessarily want to make you silent.
He wants your speech submitted to him. Can God
trust you with a bigger microphone? Perhaps before
asking God for greater influence, we should ask,
Can God trust my mouth with greater influence?
Can he trust me with information? Can he trust
me with authority? Can he trust me when I am
angry? Can he trust me when someone attacks my
reputation? Can he trust me when I know something
damaging about someone else? Can he trust me
with disagreement? Can he trust me with correction?
Can he trust me with a platform? Because greater
visibility means greater reach. And greater reach
means one spark can reach a much larger forest.
Maybe God is refining your mouth because he intends
to increase your voice. Before you speak, maybe
we need to develop a spiritual discipline before
speaking. Before you say it, ask, is it true?
But don't stop there. Is it necessary? Is it
mine to say? Is this the right time? Is this
the right place? Is my motive restoration or
retaliation? Am I speaking from wisdom or wounded
pride? Will these words protect what God has
entrusted to me or threaten it? Sometimes after
answering those questions, you will still need
to speak. Speak courageously. Speak truthfully.
Speak clearly. But sometimes the Holy Spirit
will whisper, don't say it. And obedience in
that moment may protect something you cannot
yet see. This season is not simply about becoming
more religious. It is about becoming more governed
by the Holy Spirit. That means refinement must
reach the places where we are most reactive.
Our emotions, our appetites, our relationships,
our decisions, and yes, our mouth. Because what
good is a powerful vision if one uncontrolled
sentence can destroy the trust required to build
it? What good is influence if our words continually
wound the people God sends us to serve? What
good is leadership if nobody feels safe around
our reactions? What good is knowing scripture
if our mouth humiliates people? What good is
being right if the way we communicate truth continually
destroys relationships? Character must reach
our conversations. Maybe today God is putting
his finger on your words, not to condemn you,
to prepare you. Maybe there are conversations
you need to stop participating in. Maybe there
is someone you need to apologize to. Maybe there
is information you need to stop repeating. Maybe
there is a message you should not send. Maybe
there is a post you should delete before publishing.
Maybe there is an argument you need to stop trying
to win. Maybe there is a person you need to start
speaking to with greater dignity. Maybe you have
used honesty as an excuse for harshness. Maybe
you have used authority as permission to humiliate.
Maybe your anger has had too much access to your
mouth. If God reveals it, don't defend it. Remember,
exposure can be mercy. Let Him refine it. James
tells us that no human being can tame the tongue
by human strength alone. And perhaps that is
exactly where we must end. Because this is not
simply another self -improvement exercise. We
need the Holy Spirit. We need God to reach places.
Discipline alone cannot reach. We need him to
heal the wound producing the angry words. We
need him to confront the pride producing the
defensive words. We need him to heal the insecurity
producing the boastful words. We need him to
confront the jealousy producing the gossip. We
need him to heal the fear producing the lies.
We need him to transform the heart. Because when
God changes the source, the stream begins to
change. And perhaps the prayer is not simply,
God control my mouth. Maybe the deeper prayer
is, God refine the heart from which my words
are coming. Because discipline protects vision.
And sometimes protecting the vision means protecting
it from our own reactions. So before you speak,
pause. Before you respond, pray. Before you post,
discern. Before you expose, examine your motive.
Before you retaliate, remember what you are carrying.
Your purpose may be more valuable than winning
this argument. Your family may be more valuable
than proving your point. Your testimony may be
more valuable than having the last word. Your
future may be more valuable than satisfying today's
anger. Sometimes the strongest thing you can
say is nothing. Sometimes the strongest response
is restraint. Sometimes the evidence that God
is refining you is that the old version of you
would have responded, but the refined version
knows when to remain silent. God is refining
our hearts. God is refining our reactions. God
is refining our words. God is refining our character.
Because he is preparing us to carry something
greater. The fire has reached our mouth and even
here we are being refined for a purpose. This
is Pomoja Ministry and in our next conversation
we will go deeper into something that often happens
long before the public failure. Compromise. Because
collapse rarely begins on the day everybody sees
it. It often begins with a small seed that somebody
decided to tolerate. Conversation five, the seed
that weakens resistance.