WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.759 Welcome to Pomoja Ministry. Throughout this journey 00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:06.759 of refined for a purpose, God has been taking 00:00:06.759 --> 00:00:10.859 us deeper. We began by asking, what if the intervention 00:00:10.859 --> 00:00:14.539 was about you? Then we discovered that the fire 00:00:14.539 --> 00:00:17.920 reveals what success can hide. And in our last 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:21.820 conversation, we established a foundational principle. 00:00:22.620 --> 00:00:26.480 Discipline protects vision. But now we must bring 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:29.160 that discipline into one of the most difficult 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:33.479 areas of human life to govern. Our words. Our 00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:38.020 reactions. Our conversations. Our mouth. Because 00:00:38.020 --> 00:00:41.259 you can discipline your schedule. You can discipline 00:00:41.259 --> 00:00:44.780 your finances. You can discipline your body. 00:00:45.140 --> 00:00:48.000 You can establish boundaries in relationships. 00:00:48.420 --> 00:00:50.880 You can walk away from certain environments. 00:00:51.179 --> 00:00:54.600 But James asks us to examine something we carry 00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:58.439 everywhere we go, the tongue. And James chapter 00:00:58.439 --> 00:01:01.240 3 gives us one of the strongest teachings in 00:01:01.240 --> 00:01:04.620 scripture about spiritual maturity. A bit, a 00:01:04.620 --> 00:01:08.159 rudder, a spark, three small things. Yet each 00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:11.560 one possesses the ability to control, redirect, 00:01:11.900 --> 00:01:14.659 or destroy something much larger than itself. 00:01:14.920 --> 00:01:18.719 And perhaps James is warning us, never underestimate 00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:24.239 something simply because it appears small. James 00:01:24.239 --> 00:01:28.079 3 -2 says, if anyone does not stumble in what 00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:32.719 he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle 00:01:32.719 --> 00:01:36.680 his whole body. That is an extraordinary statement. 00:01:37.260 --> 00:01:40.400 James connects control of the tongue with maturity. 00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:44.140 Why? Because controlling your mouth requires 00:01:44.140 --> 00:01:47.420 control over something deeper. Your emotions. 00:01:48.060 --> 00:01:52.560 Your pride. Your anger. Your ego. Your need to 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:56.180 be right. Your desire to defend yourself. Your 00:01:56.180 --> 00:01:59.640 need to retaliate. Your desire to expose what 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:03.280 you know. Your frustration. Your insecurity. 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:06.760 Sometimes the battle is not really with your 00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:09.800 mouth. The mouth is simply revealing the battle 00:02:09.800 --> 00:02:13.240 happening inside your heart. Jesus said that 00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:15.599 out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth 00:02:15.599 --> 00:02:19.379 speaks. So when God begins refining our speech, 00:02:19.819 --> 00:02:23.120 he is not simply teaching vocabulary. He is reaching 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:27.599 into the heart. The bit, the rudder, and the 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:31.500 fire. James gives us three powerful pictures. 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:36.710 First, the bit. A horse is powerful, much stronger 00:02:36.710 --> 00:02:39.849 than the person riding it, yet something small 00:02:39.849 --> 00:02:42.969 placed in its mouth can direct the entire animal. 00:02:43.770 --> 00:02:47.449 Then James speaks about ships. A ship can be 00:02:47.449 --> 00:02:52.270 enormous, driven by powerful winds, yet a comparatively 00:02:52.270 --> 00:02:56.330 small rudder determines its direction. Then James 00:02:56.330 --> 00:02:59.689 gives perhaps the most frightening picture, fire. 00:03:00.030 --> 00:03:03.740 A tiny spark can burn an entire forest. Think 00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:07.280 about that. The spark is small. The consequences 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:11.340 are enormous. And so are words. A sentence may 00:03:11.340 --> 00:03:14.740 take five seconds to speak. But the consequences 00:03:14.740 --> 00:03:18.259 may remain for five years. One statement can 00:03:18.259 --> 00:03:22.000 damage trust. One rumor can damage a reputation. 00:03:22.659 --> 00:03:25.620 One angry response can damage a relationship. 00:03:26.159 --> 00:03:30.680 One careless comment can wound a child. One humiliating 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:34.219 statement from a leader can remain in an employee's 00:03:34.219 --> 00:03:38.400 mind for years. One conversation can divide a 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:42.199 church. One accusation can destroy a friendship. 00:03:42.699 --> 00:03:46.479 One secret revealed carelessly can change someone's 00:03:46.479 --> 00:03:50.120 life. One post can reach thousands of people 00:03:50.120 --> 00:03:53.500 before wisdom has time to catch up with emotion. 00:03:53.900 --> 00:03:59.050 The words were small. The forest was large. We 00:03:59.050 --> 00:04:01.770 have been talking throughout this season about 00:04:01.770 --> 00:04:05.650 fire. But James introduces another kind of fire. 00:04:05.969 --> 00:04:09.629 A fire we can start ourselves. This is important. 00:04:09.789 --> 00:04:12.650 Not every fire in your life came from an enemy. 00:04:13.229 --> 00:04:16.029 Not every battle was started by someone else. 00:04:16.490 --> 00:04:18.850 Sometimes we have to possess enough humility 00:04:18.850 --> 00:04:22.649 to say, my mouth started this one. I said too 00:04:22.649 --> 00:04:25.910 much. I responded too quickly. I spoke while 00:04:25.910 --> 00:04:29.110 angry. I repeated something that wasn't mine 00:04:29.110 --> 00:04:31.990 to repeat. I assumed something before knowing 00:04:31.990 --> 00:04:35.550 the facts. I spoke from offense rather than wisdom. 00:04:36.029 --> 00:04:38.850 I humiliated someone because I had authority. 00:04:39.250 --> 00:04:41.949 I wanted to win the argument more than I wanted 00:04:41.949 --> 00:04:45.110 to preserve the relationship. I was right in 00:04:45.110 --> 00:04:48.490 what I said, but wrong in how I said it. That 00:04:48.490 --> 00:04:51.660 realization is painful. But remember what we 00:04:51.660 --> 00:04:55.180 learned. Exposure can be mercy. If God shows 00:04:55.180 --> 00:04:58.120 you that your mouth has become a source of unnecessary 00:04:58.120 --> 00:05:00.980 fires, He is not showing you so you can live 00:05:00.980 --> 00:05:03.379 in shame. He is showing you because He wants 00:05:03.379 --> 00:05:12.379 to refine you. This is where maturity becomes 00:05:12.379 --> 00:05:15.800 difficult. Because sometimes we believe that 00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:19.100 if something is true, we automatically have permission 00:05:19.100 --> 00:05:23.100 to say it. But truth and wisdom are not enemies. 00:05:23.500 --> 00:05:26.519 You can possess truthful information and still 00:05:26.519 --> 00:05:30.639 need wisdom about when to say it, where to say 00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:35.560 it, how to say it, why you are saying it, and 00:05:35.560 --> 00:05:38.420 whether you are the person who should say it. 00:05:38.759 --> 00:05:41.839 There are moments when silence is not weakness. 00:05:42.579 --> 00:05:45.800 Silence is discipline. You may know something 00:05:45.800 --> 00:05:49.459 about someone. That does not mean you must broadcast 00:05:49.459 --> 00:05:53.120 it. You may have evidence capable of embarrassing 00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:56.720 someone. That does not mean humiliation is righteous. 00:05:57.399 --> 00:06:00.319 You may have the perfect response to an insult. 00:06:00.779 --> 00:06:03.819 That does not mean you need to release it. You 00:06:03.819 --> 00:06:06.779 may be able to win the argument, but winning 00:06:06.779 --> 00:06:09.939 the argument may cost you something more valuable 00:06:09.939 --> 00:06:15.100 than the argument itself. Discipline asks, what 00:06:15.100 --> 00:06:20.170 am I trying to protect? One of the hardest disciplines 00:06:20.170 --> 00:06:23.810 is learning that you do not have to answer everything 00:06:23.810 --> 00:06:27.389 said about you. That is difficult, especially 00:06:27.389 --> 00:06:30.089 when you know the truth, especially when you 00:06:30.089 --> 00:06:33.069 possess information that could defend your reputation, 00:06:33.490 --> 00:06:36.769 especially when someone has misunderstood your 00:06:36.769 --> 00:06:40.290 motives. Everything inside you wants to respond, 00:06:40.670 --> 00:06:43.750 correct them, explain yourself, expose them, 00:06:43.949 --> 00:06:47.129 show everybody the evidence, but sometimes God 00:06:47.129 --> 00:06:51.290 says, Be still. Jesus demonstrated extraordinary 00:06:51.290 --> 00:06:55.589 restraint. Isaiah's prophecy describes him as 00:06:55.589 --> 00:06:58.490 a lamb before its shearers who did not open his 00:06:58.490 --> 00:07:02.189 mouth. That does not mean Christians should never 00:07:02.189 --> 00:07:05.589 defend themselves. There are appropriate times 00:07:05.589 --> 00:07:09.449 to answer accusations, pursue justice, establish 00:07:09.449 --> 00:07:12.790 facts, and speak truth. But there is a difference 00:07:12.790 --> 00:07:15.649 between defense governed by wisdom and reaction 00:07:15.649 --> 00:07:19.519 governed by wounded pride. One seeks truth, the 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:22.879 other seeks retaliation. And only the Holy Spirit 00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:25.980 can sometimes show us which one is speaking. 00:07:29.540 --> 00:07:33.279 Anger wants immediate access to your mouth. Anger 00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:36.720 is not always sinful. Scripture says, be angry 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:40.399 and do not sin. So the presence of anger is not 00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:43.579 necessarily the problem. The question is, what 00:07:43.579 --> 00:07:47.220 does anger receive permission to control? your 00:07:47.220 --> 00:07:50.459 hands, your decisions, your messages, your social 00:07:50.459 --> 00:07:53.959 media, your mouth. Anger wants immediacy. It 00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:59.220 says, say it now. Wisdom says, wait. Anger says, 00:07:59.660 --> 00:08:03.160 send the message. Wisdom says, read it tomorrow. 00:08:04.019 --> 00:08:07.519 Anger says, make sure they understand who they 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:11.220 are dealing with. Wisdom asks, what will this 00:08:11.220 --> 00:08:14.939 accomplish? Sometimes, one of the greatest acts 00:08:14.939 --> 00:08:18.360 of self -discipline is refusing to give temporary 00:08:18.360 --> 00:08:22.040 emotion permanent vocabulary, because tomorrow 00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:25.459 your anger may be gone, but your words may still 00:08:25.459 --> 00:08:29.759 be living in somebody else's heart. We discussed 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:33.039 Moses in our previous conversation, but look 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:37.639 again at Numbers 20. Israel complains. Moses 00:08:37.639 --> 00:08:41.519 is frustrated. God gives Moses instructions. 00:08:41.789 --> 00:08:44.929 But when Moses stands before the people, something 00:08:44.929 --> 00:08:48.269 comes out of his mouth. Hear now, you rebels. 00:08:48.809 --> 00:08:52.610 Then Moses acts. Years of frustration appear 00:08:52.610 --> 00:08:56.509 in one moment. And this is where leadership becomes 00:08:56.509 --> 00:09:00.110 serious. Because leaders often carry accumulated 00:09:00.110 --> 00:09:03.549 pressure. People complain. People misunderstand. 00:09:03.929 --> 00:09:08.029 People criticize. People expect. People demand. 00:09:08.370 --> 00:09:11.009 And if that pressure is never surrendered to 00:09:11.009 --> 00:09:15.279 God, Eventually, it can find an exit, sometimes 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:18.139 through the mouth. This is why leaders especially 00:09:18.139 --> 00:09:20.860 need private places of surrender, because if 00:09:20.860 --> 00:09:23.639 you don't release your frustration before God, 00:09:23.840 --> 00:09:31.240 you may release it onto people. There is another 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:34.320 level of refinement that happens when you become 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:37.399 a leader. When you have authority, your words 00:09:37.399 --> 00:09:40.759 carry different weight. A joke from a co -worker 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:43.879 is one thing. The same joke from a supervisor 00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:47.360 may feel completely different. A careless statement 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:50.620 from a stranger may disappear. A careless statement 00:09:50.620 --> 00:09:53.539 from a parent can remain in a child's memory 00:09:53.539 --> 00:09:57.039 for decades. A frustrated comment from a church 00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:00.309 member is one thing. The same statement from 00:10:00.309 --> 00:10:03.629 a spiritual leader may deeply wound someone. 00:10:04.590 --> 00:10:07.389 Authority amplifies words. Therefore, greater 00:10:07.389 --> 00:10:10.549 authority requires greater discipline. James 00:10:10.549 --> 00:10:13.429 begins his teaching with a warning. Not many 00:10:13.429 --> 00:10:16.370 of you should become teachers, for you know that 00:10:16.370 --> 00:10:19.889 we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 00:10:20.409 --> 00:10:24.190 Why begin there? Because influence creates responsibility. 00:10:24.710 --> 00:10:27.370 The more people listen to you, the more carefully 00:10:27.370 --> 00:10:30.809 you must speak. The greater your authority, the 00:10:30.809 --> 00:10:33.509 greater your responsibility to govern your mouth. 00:10:34.549 --> 00:10:37.529 James wrote about the tongue long before smartphones, 00:10:38.009 --> 00:10:40.990 long before Facebook, long before TikTok, long 00:10:40.990 --> 00:10:43.929 before YouTube, long before comment sections. 00:10:44.289 --> 00:10:47.269 But imagine James chapter three in our generation. 00:10:48.009 --> 00:10:52.970 Today, your tongue has Wi -Fi. A reaction that 00:10:52.970 --> 00:10:55.830 once might have reached five people can reach 00:10:55.830 --> 00:10:59.909 5 ,000. You can become angry at 10 o 'clock, 00:11:00.250 --> 00:11:03.750 write something at 10 .02, post it at 10 .03, 00:11:04.269 --> 00:11:08.169 and by 10 .10, people you have never met are 00:11:08.169 --> 00:11:11.330 participating in an emotion that may have already 00:11:11.330 --> 00:11:14.809 passed. Technology has increased the reach of 00:11:14.809 --> 00:11:18.149 the tongue, but increased reach requires increased 00:11:18.149 --> 00:11:21.970 discipline. Not everything you feel belongs online. 00:11:22.370 --> 00:11:26.289 Not every disagreement requires a post. Not every 00:11:26.289 --> 00:11:30.269 accusation requires a public response. Not every 00:11:30.269 --> 00:11:33.230 private conflict should become public content. 00:11:34.049 --> 00:11:38.009 Sometimes deleting the post is discipline. Sometimes 00:11:38.009 --> 00:11:41.789 closing the app is discipline. Sometimes writing 00:11:41.789 --> 00:11:44.809 the response and never sending it is discipline. 00:11:45.149 --> 00:11:49.110 Sometimes praying before posting is refinement. 00:11:49.450 --> 00:11:53.149 Gossip When information becomes entertainment. 00:11:53.470 --> 00:11:57.070 We also need to talk about gossip, because gossip 00:11:57.070 --> 00:12:01.429 can disguise itself as concern. I'm only telling 00:12:01.429 --> 00:12:06.350 you so you can pray. Maybe. But would you still 00:12:06.350 --> 00:12:09.169 tell them if there were no interesting details? 00:12:10.190 --> 00:12:12.750 Would you say the same thing if the person were 00:12:12.750 --> 00:12:16.470 sitting beside you? Would you want someone discussing 00:12:16.470 --> 00:12:20.889 your weakness in the same way? Gossip takes someone 00:12:20.889 --> 00:12:24.659 else's vulnerability. and turns it into conversational 00:12:24.659 --> 00:12:28.519 currency. And sometimes the greatest evidence 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:31.259 of maturity is possessing information you have 00:12:31.259 --> 00:12:35.200 the power to spread and choosing not to. Trust 00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:38.899 requires disciplined mouths. Families require 00:12:38.899 --> 00:12:42.620 disciplined mouths. Friendships require disciplined 00:12:42.620 --> 00:12:46.379 mouths. Churches require disciplined mouths. 00:12:46.779 --> 00:12:52.399 Leadership requires disciplined mouths. But James's 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:54.639 warning should not make us afraid of speaking, 00:12:55.059 --> 00:12:58.519 because the tongue is not only capable of destruction. 00:12:59.379 --> 00:13:02.799 Words can heal. Words can restore. Words can 00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:06.679 encourage. Words can reconcile. Words can bless. 00:13:07.059 --> 00:13:10.240 Words can teach. Words can defend someone who 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:13.559 cannot defend themselves. Words can speak truth 00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:16.980 into confusion. Words can remind someone who 00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:20.799 has fallen that mercy still exists. Words can 00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:24.559 tell a child, I believe in you. Words can tell 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:28.860 a spouse, I appreciate you. Words can tell someone 00:13:28.860 --> 00:13:32.779 who has failed, get up again. Words can tell 00:13:32.779 --> 00:13:36.360 someone walking through fire, you are not alone. 00:13:36.860 --> 00:13:39.600 The same mouth capable of starting fires can 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.620 become an instrument of healing. And that is 00:13:42.620 --> 00:13:45.899 what refinement does. God does not simply want 00:13:45.899 --> 00:13:49.379 to silence your mouth. He wants to sanctify it. 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:54.980 Think about Peter. Peter often spoke before thinking. 00:13:55.799 --> 00:13:59.220 He corrected Jesus. He made bold promises he 00:13:59.220 --> 00:14:03.080 could not sustain. He denied Jesus three times. 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:06.899 Peter's mouth repeatedly revealed his impulsiveness. 00:14:07.940 --> 00:14:11.179 But then something happened. The Holy Spirit 00:14:11.179 --> 00:14:15.080 transformed Peter. And the same man, whose mouth 00:14:15.080 --> 00:14:18.159 once revealed instability stood on the day of 00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:20.899 Pentecost and proclaimed Christ with courage 00:14:20.899 --> 00:14:26.299 and clarity. Thousands responded. Think about 00:14:26.299 --> 00:14:30.179 that transformation. God did not remove Peter's 00:14:30.179 --> 00:14:34.340 voice. God refined it. The same mouth that had 00:14:34.340 --> 00:14:38.139 been associated with denial became a mouth associated 00:14:38.139 --> 00:14:42.820 with proclamation. That is redemption. God does 00:14:42.820 --> 00:14:46.000 not necessarily want to remove your personality. 00:14:46.419 --> 00:14:49.759 He wants to govern it. He doesn't necessarily 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:53.120 want to remove your boldness. He wants to sanctify 00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:56.259 it. He doesn't necessarily want to make you silent. 00:14:56.720 --> 00:15:03.200 He wants your speech submitted to him. Can God 00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:07.480 trust you with a bigger microphone? Perhaps before 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:10.860 asking God for greater influence, we should ask, 00:15:10.970 --> 00:15:13.990 Can God trust my mouth with greater influence? 00:15:14.470 --> 00:15:17.409 Can he trust me with information? Can he trust 00:15:17.409 --> 00:15:20.529 me with authority? Can he trust me when I am 00:15:20.529 --> 00:15:24.009 angry? Can he trust me when someone attacks my 00:15:24.009 --> 00:15:27.649 reputation? Can he trust me when I know something 00:15:27.649 --> 00:15:31.269 damaging about someone else? Can he trust me 00:15:31.269 --> 00:15:34.710 with disagreement? Can he trust me with correction? 00:15:35.590 --> 00:15:39.690 Can he trust me with a platform? Because greater 00:15:39.690 --> 00:15:43.539 visibility means greater reach. And greater reach 00:15:43.539 --> 00:15:47.080 means one spark can reach a much larger forest. 00:15:47.679 --> 00:15:50.799 Maybe God is refining your mouth because he intends 00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:54.960 to increase your voice. Before you speak, maybe 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:58.000 we need to develop a spiritual discipline before 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:02.659 speaking. Before you say it, ask, is it true? 00:16:03.139 --> 00:16:06.440 But don't stop there. Is it necessary? Is it 00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:09.570 mine to say? Is this the right time? Is this 00:16:09.570 --> 00:16:12.970 the right place? Is my motive restoration or 00:16:12.970 --> 00:16:16.789 retaliation? Am I speaking from wisdom or wounded 00:16:16.789 --> 00:16:20.110 pride? Will these words protect what God has 00:16:20.110 --> 00:16:24.029 entrusted to me or threaten it? Sometimes after 00:16:24.029 --> 00:16:26.529 answering those questions, you will still need 00:16:26.529 --> 00:16:30.870 to speak. Speak courageously. Speak truthfully. 00:16:31.389 --> 00:16:34.789 Speak clearly. But sometimes the Holy Spirit 00:16:34.789 --> 00:16:38.710 will whisper, don't say it. And obedience in 00:16:38.710 --> 00:16:41.350 that moment may protect something you cannot 00:16:41.350 --> 00:16:48.009 yet see. This season is not simply about becoming 00:16:48.009 --> 00:16:51.649 more religious. It is about becoming more governed 00:16:51.649 --> 00:16:55.409 by the Holy Spirit. That means refinement must 00:16:55.409 --> 00:16:57.909 reach the places where we are most reactive. 00:16:58.409 --> 00:17:02.049 Our emotions, our appetites, our relationships, 00:17:02.509 --> 00:17:06.990 our decisions, and yes, our mouth. Because what 00:17:06.990 --> 00:17:10.490 good is a powerful vision if one uncontrolled 00:17:10.490 --> 00:17:13.329 sentence can destroy the trust required to build 00:17:13.329 --> 00:17:17.410 it? What good is influence if our words continually 00:17:17.410 --> 00:17:21.450 wound the people God sends us to serve? What 00:17:21.450 --> 00:17:24.849 good is leadership if nobody feels safe around 00:17:24.849 --> 00:17:28.490 our reactions? What good is knowing scripture 00:17:28.490 --> 00:17:32.269 if our mouth humiliates people? What good is 00:17:32.269 --> 00:17:35.849 being right if the way we communicate truth continually 00:17:35.849 --> 00:17:39.450 destroys relationships? Character must reach 00:17:39.450 --> 00:17:43.750 our conversations. Maybe today God is putting 00:17:43.750 --> 00:17:46.990 his finger on your words, not to condemn you, 00:17:47.250 --> 00:17:50.250 to prepare you. Maybe there are conversations 00:17:50.250 --> 00:17:53.490 you need to stop participating in. Maybe there 00:17:53.490 --> 00:17:56.750 is someone you need to apologize to. Maybe there 00:17:56.750 --> 00:18:00.220 is information you need to stop repeating. Maybe 00:18:00.220 --> 00:18:03.480 there is a message you should not send. Maybe 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:06.720 there is a post you should delete before publishing. 00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:10.539 Maybe there is an argument you need to stop trying 00:18:10.539 --> 00:18:14.259 to win. Maybe there is a person you need to start 00:18:14.259 --> 00:18:18.019 speaking to with greater dignity. Maybe you have 00:18:18.019 --> 00:18:21.740 used honesty as an excuse for harshness. Maybe 00:18:21.740 --> 00:18:25.140 you have used authority as permission to humiliate. 00:18:25.619 --> 00:18:28.740 Maybe your anger has had too much access to your 00:18:28.740 --> 00:18:33.089 mouth. If God reveals it, don't defend it. Remember, 00:18:33.750 --> 00:18:38.829 exposure can be mercy. Let Him refine it. James 00:18:38.829 --> 00:18:41.910 tells us that no human being can tame the tongue 00:18:41.910 --> 00:18:45.769 by human strength alone. And perhaps that is 00:18:45.769 --> 00:18:49.329 exactly where we must end. Because this is not 00:18:49.329 --> 00:18:52.450 simply another self -improvement exercise. We 00:18:52.450 --> 00:18:56.150 need the Holy Spirit. We need God to reach places. 00:18:56.529 --> 00:19:00.019 Discipline alone cannot reach. We need him to 00:19:00.019 --> 00:19:03.519 heal the wound producing the angry words. We 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:06.420 need him to confront the pride producing the 00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:10.160 defensive words. We need him to heal the insecurity 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:13.440 producing the boastful words. We need him to 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:16.559 confront the jealousy producing the gossip. We 00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:19.480 need him to heal the fear producing the lies. 00:19:19.779 --> 00:19:22.980 We need him to transform the heart. Because when 00:19:22.980 --> 00:19:26.440 God changes the source, the stream begins to 00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:29.519 change. And perhaps the prayer is not simply, 00:19:29.660 --> 00:19:33.380 God control my mouth. Maybe the deeper prayer 00:19:33.380 --> 00:19:37.339 is, God refine the heart from which my words 00:19:37.339 --> 00:19:40.839 are coming. Because discipline protects vision. 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:44.099 And sometimes protecting the vision means protecting 00:19:44.099 --> 00:19:47.680 it from our own reactions. So before you speak, 00:19:48.019 --> 00:19:53.000 pause. Before you respond, pray. Before you post, 00:19:53.619 --> 00:19:57.380 discern. Before you expose, examine your motive. 00:19:57.779 --> 00:20:01.759 Before you retaliate, remember what you are carrying. 00:20:02.019 --> 00:20:05.259 Your purpose may be more valuable than winning 00:20:05.259 --> 00:20:08.779 this argument. Your family may be more valuable 00:20:08.779 --> 00:20:12.079 than proving your point. Your testimony may be 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:15.440 more valuable than having the last word. Your 00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:19.799 future may be more valuable than satisfying today's 00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:23.190 anger. Sometimes the strongest thing you can 00:20:23.190 --> 00:20:27.049 say is nothing. Sometimes the strongest response 00:20:27.049 --> 00:20:30.609 is restraint. Sometimes the evidence that God 00:20:30.609 --> 00:20:34.329 is refining you is that the old version of you 00:20:34.329 --> 00:20:37.809 would have responded, but the refined version 00:20:37.809 --> 00:20:41.569 knows when to remain silent. God is refining 00:20:41.569 --> 00:20:45.809 our hearts. God is refining our reactions. God 00:20:45.809 --> 00:20:49.930 is refining our words. God is refining our character. 00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:53.589 Because he is preparing us to carry something 00:20:53.589 --> 00:20:57.950 greater. The fire has reached our mouth and even 00:20:57.950 --> 00:21:03.210 here we are being refined for a purpose. This 00:21:03.210 --> 00:21:06.529 is Pomoja Ministry and in our next conversation 00:21:06.529 --> 00:21:10.210 we will go deeper into something that often happens 00:21:10.210 --> 00:21:15.109 long before the public failure. Compromise. Because 00:21:15.109 --> 00:21:18.470 collapse rarely begins on the day everybody sees 00:21:18.470 --> 00:21:23.450 it. It often begins with a small seed that somebody 00:21:23.450 --> 00:21:28.829 decided to tolerate. Conversation five, the seed 00:21:28.829 --> 00:21:30.849 that weakens resistance.