WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.919 Welcome to Pomoja Podcast, a ministry of Life 00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:07.740 of Christ International. Join us weekly for uplifting 00:00:07.740 --> 00:00:11.279 encouragement, true stories, and conversations 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:15.000 centered around faith, family, and purpose. I'm 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:18.280 your host, Barry Mwamba, and today I'm bringing 00:00:18.280 --> 00:00:22.260 you a heartfelt and honest story, a marriage 00:00:22.260 --> 00:00:25.660 journey that many of you may find echoes of in 00:00:25.660 --> 00:00:29.539 your own lives. So settle in. As we walk through 00:00:29.539 --> 00:00:32.539 the years, the challenges and the triumphs of 00:00:32.539 --> 00:00:35.679 a relationship that has truly stood the test 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:42.600 of time. Marriage is one of life's greatest callings 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:45.420 and one of the covenants the enemy fears the 00:00:45.420 --> 00:00:48.619 most. That's why the devil works tirelessly to 00:00:48.619 --> 00:00:52.020 diminish and destroy it, twisting what God designed 00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:55.439 to reflect his love and unity. In our premiere 00:00:55.439 --> 00:00:58.880 season of Pomoja Podcasts, we began exploring 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:02.119 this sacred covenant through a personal story, 00:01:02.340 --> 00:01:06.000 my own, shaped by my father's wisdom, and refined 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:09.939 through 18 years of lessons, grace, and endurance. 00:01:10.359 --> 00:01:13.140 Our first episode, The House in the Middle of 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:16.680 the Forest, focused on finding the right partner 00:01:16.680 --> 00:01:20.519 and discovering that beyond every outward quality 00:01:20.519 --> 00:01:23.859 or charm, The true foundation of marriage is 00:01:23.859 --> 00:01:28.239 being led by God through the Holy Spirit. Today, 00:01:28.500 --> 00:01:32.739 in this second episode, we'll go deeper. We'll 00:01:32.739 --> 00:01:35.879 uncover the mystery of the house, why the windows 00:01:35.879 --> 00:01:39.439 were sealed, why the door was locked, and why 00:01:39.439 --> 00:01:43.439 the air inside remained warm. Each of these details 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:47.060 carries a revelation about covenant, commitment, 00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:51.069 and divine connection. The very ingredients that 00:01:51.069 --> 00:01:55.069 keep a marriage not just alive, but anchored. 00:01:57.209 --> 00:02:02.890 When Trouble Starts It didn't take long for the 00:02:02.890 --> 00:02:06.049 honeymoon to fade. Our first real fight came 00:02:06.049 --> 00:02:09.110 only a few weeks after the wedding, and I still 00:02:09.110 --> 00:02:12.610 remember it vividly. We were shouting. I threw 00:02:12.610 --> 00:02:16.210 my wedding ring across the room, yelling, You 00:02:16.210 --> 00:02:20.080 lied to me! The truth is, I wasn't truly angry 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:23.240 at my wife. I was confronting the reality of 00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:26.580 two imperfect people learning to share one life. 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:30.259 The time of romance was over. The time of revelation 00:02:30.259 --> 00:02:34.319 had begun. Flaws began to surface. Personalities 00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:38.219 clashed. Habits we once ignored suddenly felt 00:02:38.219 --> 00:02:41.800 unbearable. It was as if my wife was saying, 00:02:42.139 --> 00:02:45.770 campaign time is over. I already won you. and 00:02:45.770 --> 00:02:49.250 now you can't go anywhere. In that moment, I 00:02:49.250 --> 00:02:53.469 felt trapped, like I was in a deep hole, a prison 00:02:53.469 --> 00:02:56.889 with no way out. I honestly can't remember what 00:02:56.889 --> 00:03:00.110 the argument was about, but I can still recall 00:03:00.110 --> 00:03:04.030 the tone, the body language, the words, none 00:03:04.030 --> 00:03:07.490 of which were loving or respectful. And I remember 00:03:07.490 --> 00:03:12.030 thinking, if this is marriage, I'll seek a divorce 00:03:12.030 --> 00:03:15.789 the first chance I get. Thank God I picked that 00:03:15.789 --> 00:03:18.909 ring back up later that night. And thank God 00:03:18.909 --> 00:03:22.590 for our Godparents, a pastoral couple who stood 00:03:22.590 --> 00:03:25.689 with us before and after our wedding. They didn't 00:03:25.689 --> 00:03:28.569 just teach us about marriage, they walked with 00:03:28.569 --> 00:03:34.930 us through it. The Exercise That Changed Everything 00:03:34.930 --> 00:03:39.270 During that first conflict, our Godparents gave 00:03:39.270 --> 00:03:42.550 us a simple but powerful exercise. Write down 00:03:42.550 --> 00:03:44.930 the things you hate, and the things you love 00:03:44.930 --> 00:03:48.169 about your spouse. So we sat down, each with 00:03:48.169 --> 00:03:50.629 a piece of paper, and when we started reading 00:03:50.629 --> 00:03:54.289 them aloud, something shifted. The anger broke. 00:03:54.710 --> 00:03:57.990 Smiles returned. We were reminded that the things 00:03:57.990 --> 00:04:01.370 uniting us far outweighed the things dividing 00:04:01.370 --> 00:04:05.569 us. That exercise planted a seed, one of forgiveness, 00:04:05.969 --> 00:04:08.889 growth, and maturity. I'll never forget what 00:04:08.889 --> 00:04:12.000 my godfather told me afterward. Do you think 00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:14.659 you're the first husband to throw his ring away? 00:04:14.979 --> 00:04:18.300 Even pastors have done it, and 30 years later, 00:04:18.620 --> 00:04:21.759 they're still married to the same wife. At the 00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:25.259 time, I probably thought, that won't be me. But 00:04:25.259 --> 00:04:28.939 here I am, 18 years later, still married to the 00:04:28.939 --> 00:04:32.540 same woman, sharing a story of God's faithfulness 00:04:32.540 --> 00:04:44.529 through perseverance. My mother used to say anger 00:04:44.529 --> 00:04:48.769 is a visitor so our it comes and it goes Don't 00:04:48.769 --> 00:04:51.589 make decisions or speak while you're angry because 00:04:51.589 --> 00:04:55.810 when anger leaves you'll regret what stays God 00:04:55.810 --> 00:04:58.129 knows how many times we said things we should 00:04:58.129 --> 00:05:01.529 never have said while angry harsh words that 00:05:01.529 --> 00:05:04.829 wounded deeply broke trust and Opened the door 00:05:04.829 --> 00:05:08.649 for the enemy to enter yet deep inside. We both 00:05:08.649 --> 00:05:11.769 knew We were better than that. We knew that no 00:05:11.769 --> 00:05:15.009 matter how painful things got, our marriage was 00:05:15.009 --> 00:05:18.850 worth fighting for. So we refused to give up. 00:05:19.230 --> 00:05:23.509 But God, hallelujah. But God, one day he visited 00:05:23.509 --> 00:05:26.649 my heart. He pulled me out of the tomb I had 00:05:26.649 --> 00:05:30.310 buried myself in. He picked me up, changed my 00:05:30.310 --> 00:05:34.089 heart, and restored the love I thought I had 00:05:34.089 --> 00:05:37.920 lost. He gave me a new heart, humble. tender, 00:05:38.139 --> 00:05:41.480 filled with the Holy Spirit. Since then, I've 00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:44.720 learned to discipline my tongue, to speak life 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:49.420 and peace instead of anger and destruction. When 00:05:49.420 --> 00:05:52.319 the anger finally left, we realized something 00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:55.620 profound. What united us was far greater than 00:05:55.620 --> 00:05:59.139 what divided us. That became our first real lesson 00:05:59.139 --> 00:06:02.279 in commitment. Not the kind you feel, but the 00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:10.279 kind you choose. The human tendency. Human nature 00:06:10.279 --> 00:06:14.180 has a strange habit. We magnify the flaws of 00:06:14.180 --> 00:06:18.000 others while minimizing our own. We focus on 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:22.019 the 20 % that divides us, forgetting the 80 % 00:06:22.019 --> 00:06:25.959 that unites us. Love is not blind. It's gracious. 00:06:26.579 --> 00:06:31.000 It sees imperfection and chooses to stay anyway. 00:06:31.290 --> 00:06:34.649 I've seen many marriages fail because people 00:06:34.649 --> 00:06:39.050 chase that missing 20%. Only to discover that 00:06:39.050 --> 00:06:42.810 the new person also carries the 80 % they tried 00:06:42.810 --> 00:06:46.470 to escape. Don't abandon what's whole because 00:06:46.470 --> 00:06:49.750 of what's missing. Nurture, communicate, grow 00:06:49.750 --> 00:06:52.569 through weaknesses. If you want a clean house 00:06:52.569 --> 00:06:55.550 and your spouse struggles with that, don't fight. 00:06:55.990 --> 00:06:59.569 Find understanding. Divide responsibilities. 00:07:00.089 --> 00:07:03.930 work together. You cannot destroy a home over 00:07:03.930 --> 00:07:07.470 what divides you, especially when there's so 00:07:07.470 --> 00:07:13.629 much more that unites you. The Field of Two Souls 00:07:13.629 --> 00:07:18.790 Marriage is a field, a place where two different 00:07:18.790 --> 00:07:22.009 souls must learn to cultivate one life together. 00:07:22.850 --> 00:07:25.389 Finding common ground is the soil of harmony. 00:07:25.740 --> 00:07:28.839 but that soil must be watered with humility, 00:07:29.160 --> 00:07:32.860 love, and prayer. These common grounds are earned 00:07:32.860 --> 00:07:35.560 through tears, forgiveness, and the guidance 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:39.319 of the Holy Spirit, because the truth is, compromise 00:07:39.319 --> 00:07:42.800 feels like loss until you realize it's actually 00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:47.410 gain. Matthew 19 verses 4 to 6. Have you not 00:07:47.410 --> 00:07:50.689 read that He who made them at the beginning made 00:07:50.689 --> 00:07:54.430 them male and female, and said, For this reason 00:07:54.430 --> 00:07:57.269 a man shall leave his father and mother, and 00:07:57.269 --> 00:08:00.209 be joined to his wife, and the two shall become 00:08:00.209 --> 00:08:04.810 one flesh? So then they are no longer two, but 00:08:04.810 --> 00:08:08.850 one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, 00:08:09.129 --> 00:08:13.040 let no man separate. Marriage, as Jesus said, 00:08:13.300 --> 00:08:16.220 was never meant to be broken, even in moments 00:08:16.220 --> 00:08:20.060 of betrayal. Forgiveness is still God's first 00:08:20.060 --> 00:08:23.660 language. When sin entered the world, God did 00:08:23.660 --> 00:08:27.019 not abandon us. He found common ground through 00:08:27.019 --> 00:08:31.079 blood. Forgiveness. He established reconciliation 00:08:31.079 --> 00:08:34.320 through the cross and sent the Holy Spirit to 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:38.759 empower us to remain faithful. Marriage mirrors 00:08:38.759 --> 00:08:42.779 that same divine pattern. When something breaks, 00:08:43.059 --> 00:08:46.419 God's model is not escape, it's restoration. 00:08:47.059 --> 00:08:50.299 It's a living example of how heaven meets earth, 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:54.360 where mercy triumphs over mistakes, where grace 00:08:54.360 --> 00:08:58.879 rebuilds what pride tears down, and where forgiveness 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:02.740 becomes the fragrance of true love. That's why 00:09:02.740 --> 00:09:05.639 in the parable of the house, the windows are 00:09:05.639 --> 00:09:09.620 sealed. to guard against intrusion, the door 00:09:09.620 --> 00:09:13.580 is locked, to preserve trust and the warm air 00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:17.539 remains, symbolizing the constant presence of 00:09:17.539 --> 00:09:21.659 the Holy Spirit who keeps love alive, even when 00:09:21.659 --> 00:09:26.620 the fire seems dim. Remember, marriage is not 00:09:26.620 --> 00:09:29.960 built by perfect people. but by persistent love 00:09:29.960 --> 00:09:32.879 under God's covering. If your home feels cold, 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:36.100 reopen communication. If your windows are fogged 00:09:36.100 --> 00:09:38.759 with misunderstanding, wipe them with humility. 00:09:38.980 --> 00:09:41.639 And if your heart feels distant, lock your door 00:09:41.639 --> 00:09:44.600 again, not to shut each other out, but to shut 00:09:44.600 --> 00:09:48.440 the world away until love is rekindled inside. 00:09:50.059 --> 00:09:53.399 Next time on Pamoja Podcast, we will explore 00:09:53.399 --> 00:09:56.799 the enemies of marriage, inner and outer. We'll 00:09:56.799 --> 00:10:00.500 uncover how unseen forces, attitudes, and external 00:10:00.500 --> 00:10:03.519 influences work to divide what God has joined 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:06.620 together and how the Spirit of God equips us 00:10:06.620 --> 00:10:10.059 to stand united in faith for love that endures 00:10:10.059 --> 00:10:14.580 all seasons. Thank you for listening to Pamoja 00:10:14.580 --> 00:10:17.860 Podcast. May this story remind you that real 00:10:17.860 --> 00:10:21.759 love doesn't run. it roots. Be sure to subscribe, 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:25.360 share, and stay connected for more weekly encouragement 00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:28.840 and stories of faith, family, and purpose. Until 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:33.220 next time, walk in grace, build in faith, and 00:10:33.220 --> 00:10:34.240 live in purpose.