Welcome to Pomoja Podcast, a ministry of Life
of Christ International. Join us weekly for uplifting
encouragement, true stories, and conversations
centered around faith, family, and purpose. I'm
your host, Barry Mwamba, and today I'm bringing
you a heartfelt and honest story, a marriage
journey that many of you may find echoes of in
your own lives. So settle in. As we walk through
the years, the challenges and the triumphs of
a relationship that has truly stood the test
of time. Marriage is one of life's greatest callings
and one of the covenants the enemy fears the
most. That's why the devil works tirelessly to
diminish and destroy it, twisting what God designed
to reflect his love and unity. In our premiere
season of Pomoja Podcasts, we began exploring
this sacred covenant through a personal story,
my own, shaped by my father's wisdom, and refined
through 18 years of lessons, grace, and endurance.
Our first episode, The House in the Middle of
the Forest, focused on finding the right partner
and discovering that beyond every outward quality
or charm, The true foundation of marriage is
being led by God through the Holy Spirit. Today,
in this second episode, we'll go deeper. We'll
uncover the mystery of the house, why the windows
were sealed, why the door was locked, and why
the air inside remained warm. Each of these details
carries a revelation about covenant, commitment,
and divine connection. The very ingredients that
keep a marriage not just alive, but anchored.
When Trouble Starts It didn't take long for the
honeymoon to fade. Our first real fight came
only a few weeks after the wedding, and I still
remember it vividly. We were shouting. I threw
my wedding ring across the room, yelling, You
lied to me! The truth is, I wasn't truly angry
at my wife. I was confronting the reality of
two imperfect people learning to share one life.
The time of romance was over. The time of revelation
had begun. Flaws began to surface. Personalities
clashed. Habits we once ignored suddenly felt
unbearable. It was as if my wife was saying,
campaign time is over. I already won you. and
now you can't go anywhere. In that moment, I
felt trapped, like I was in a deep hole, a prison
with no way out. I honestly can't remember what
the argument was about, but I can still recall
the tone, the body language, the words, none
of which were loving or respectful. And I remember
thinking, if this is marriage, I'll seek a divorce
the first chance I get. Thank God I picked that
ring back up later that night. And thank God
for our Godparents, a pastoral couple who stood
with us before and after our wedding. They didn't
just teach us about marriage, they walked with
us through it. The Exercise That Changed Everything
During that first conflict, our Godparents gave
us a simple but powerful exercise. Write down
the things you hate, and the things you love
about your spouse. So we sat down, each with
a piece of paper, and when we started reading
them aloud, something shifted. The anger broke.
Smiles returned. We were reminded that the things
uniting us far outweighed the things dividing
us. That exercise planted a seed, one of forgiveness,
growth, and maturity. I'll never forget what
my godfather told me afterward. Do you think
you're the first husband to throw his ring away?
Even pastors have done it, and 30 years later,
they're still married to the same wife. At the
time, I probably thought, that won't be me. But
here I am, 18 years later, still married to the
same woman, sharing a story of God's faithfulness
through perseverance. My mother used to say anger
is a visitor so our it comes and it goes Don't
make decisions or speak while you're angry because
when anger leaves you'll regret what stays God
knows how many times we said things we should
never have said while angry harsh words that
wounded deeply broke trust and Opened the door
for the enemy to enter yet deep inside. We both
knew We were better than that. We knew that no
matter how painful things got, our marriage was
worth fighting for. So we refused to give up.
But God, hallelujah. But God, one day he visited
my heart. He pulled me out of the tomb I had
buried myself in. He picked me up, changed my
heart, and restored the love I thought I had
lost. He gave me a new heart, humble. tender,
filled with the Holy Spirit. Since then, I've
learned to discipline my tongue, to speak life
and peace instead of anger and destruction. When
the anger finally left, we realized something
profound. What united us was far greater than
what divided us. That became our first real lesson
in commitment. Not the kind you feel, but the
kind you choose. The human tendency. Human nature
has a strange habit. We magnify the flaws of
others while minimizing our own. We focus on
the 20 % that divides us, forgetting the 80 %
that unites us. Love is not blind. It's gracious.
It sees imperfection and chooses to stay anyway.
I've seen many marriages fail because people
chase that missing 20%. Only to discover that
the new person also carries the 80 % they tried
to escape. Don't abandon what's whole because
of what's missing. Nurture, communicate, grow
through weaknesses. If you want a clean house
and your spouse struggles with that, don't fight.
Find understanding. Divide responsibilities.
work together. You cannot destroy a home over
what divides you, especially when there's so
much more that unites you. The Field of Two Souls
Marriage is a field, a place where two different
souls must learn to cultivate one life together.
Finding common ground is the soil of harmony.
but that soil must be watered with humility,
love, and prayer. These common grounds are earned
through tears, forgiveness, and the guidance
of the Holy Spirit, because the truth is, compromise
feels like loss until you realize it's actually
gain. Matthew 19 verses 4 to 6. Have you not
read that He who made them at the beginning made
them male and female, and said, For this reason
a man shall leave his father and mother, and
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh? So then they are no longer two, but
one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together,
let no man separate. Marriage, as Jesus said,
was never meant to be broken, even in moments
of betrayal. Forgiveness is still God's first
language. When sin entered the world, God did
not abandon us. He found common ground through
blood. Forgiveness. He established reconciliation
through the cross and sent the Holy Spirit to
empower us to remain faithful. Marriage mirrors
that same divine pattern. When something breaks,
God's model is not escape, it's restoration.
It's a living example of how heaven meets earth,
where mercy triumphs over mistakes, where grace
rebuilds what pride tears down, and where forgiveness
becomes the fragrance of true love. That's why
in the parable of the house, the windows are
sealed. to guard against intrusion, the door
is locked, to preserve trust and the warm air
remains, symbolizing the constant presence of
the Holy Spirit who keeps love alive, even when
the fire seems dim. Remember, marriage is not
built by perfect people. but by persistent love
under God's covering. If your home feels cold,
reopen communication. If your windows are fogged
with misunderstanding, wipe them with humility.
And if your heart feels distant, lock your door
again, not to shut each other out, but to shut
the world away until love is rekindled inside.
Next time on Pamoja Podcast, we will explore
the enemies of marriage, inner and outer. We'll
uncover how unseen forces, attitudes, and external
influences work to divide what God has joined
together and how the Spirit of God equips us
to stand united in faith for love that endures
all seasons. Thank you for listening to Pamoja
Podcast. May this story remind you that real
love doesn't run. it roots. Be sure to subscribe,
share, and stay connected for more weekly encouragement
and stories of faith, family, and purpose. Until
next time, walk in grace, build in faith, and
live in purpose.