WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.040 Welcome to Pamoja Podcast, the place where stronger 00:00:04.040 --> 00:00:07.459 lives are built, faith is strengthened, hearts 00:00:07.459 --> 00:00:10.599 are encouraged, and Christ -centered homes are 00:00:10.599 --> 00:00:14.060 shaped through ordinary conversations that become 00:00:14.060 --> 00:00:17.920 extraordinary encounters with God's truth. One 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:23.980 conversation, one story, one revelation at a 00:00:23.980 --> 00:00:28.660 time. I'm your host, Barry Mwamba. In our last 00:00:28.660 --> 00:00:31.300 conversation, I promised that I would share our 00:00:31.300 --> 00:00:34.439 story. Not because our story is different from 00:00:34.439 --> 00:00:37.899 everyone else's, but because I have come to realize 00:00:37.899 --> 00:00:41.079 that many Christian couples quietly walk through 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:43.960 the same seasons while believing they are the 00:00:43.960 --> 00:00:48.780 only ones experiencing them. For 15 conversations, 00:00:49.060 --> 00:00:51.700 we have talked about a house in the middle of 00:00:51.700 --> 00:00:54.920 the forest. We have talked about the foundation, 00:00:55.560 --> 00:01:00.560 the windows. the warmth, the atmosphere. We have 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:03.640 discovered that every house has an atmosphere, 00:01:04.299 --> 00:01:07.340 and that atmosphere is shaped by whatever is 00:01:07.340 --> 00:01:11.159 allowed to reign inside it. Today, I want to 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:14.540 take you beyond the parable. I want to invite 00:01:14.540 --> 00:01:17.819 you into our home, not to show you a perfect 00:01:17.819 --> 00:01:21.019 marriage, but to show you the faithfulness of 00:01:21.019 --> 00:01:24.659 a perfect God. Because there was a season when 00:01:24.659 --> 00:01:28.189 Giselle and I discovered That knowing God's design 00:01:28.189 --> 00:01:31.349 for marriage is not the same as living in it 00:01:31.349 --> 00:01:34.549 every day. And looking back today, I don't believe 00:01:34.549 --> 00:01:37.609 our greatest danger was conflict. I don't believe 00:01:37.609 --> 00:01:40.390 it was disappointment. I don't even believe it 00:01:40.390 --> 00:01:43.269 was misunderstanding. I believe our greatest 00:01:43.269 --> 00:01:46.290 danger was something much quieter. Something 00:01:46.290 --> 00:01:49.349 that almost every Christian experiences, yet 00:01:49.349 --> 00:01:53.450 very few recognize, while it is happening. Complacency. 00:01:55.629 --> 00:01:58.829 I have often wondered why the Bible spends so 00:01:58.829 --> 00:02:01.989 much time warning believers to remain watchful. 00:02:02.310 --> 00:02:05.590 Jesus said, Watch and pray so that you will not 00:02:05.590 --> 00:02:09.030 enter into temptation. Peter wrote, Be alert 00:02:09.030 --> 00:02:12.770 and of sober mind. Your adversary the devil prowls 00:02:12.770 --> 00:02:16.030 around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to 00:02:16.030 --> 00:02:20.219 devour. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to 00:02:20.219 --> 00:02:23.000 encourage one another daily so that none of us 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:25.879 may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 00:02:26.639 --> 00:02:29.479 There is a pattern throughout scripture. God 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:33.000 continually calls his people to stay awake spiritually. 00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:38.240 Why? Because the greatest spiritual dangers rarely 00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:41.879 announce their arrival. They quietly settle into 00:02:41.879 --> 00:02:45.039 our routines until they begin to feel normal. 00:02:45.449 --> 00:02:49.430 As I reflected on our own marriage, I realized 00:02:49.430 --> 00:02:53.210 that this was exactly what happened to us. We 00:02:53.210 --> 00:02:56.629 never stopped loving God. We never decided to 00:02:56.629 --> 00:02:59.909 walk away from Him. We never woke up one morning 00:02:59.909 --> 00:03:03.590 and said, Christ will no longer be the center 00:03:03.590 --> 00:03:07.370 of our home. It happened much more quietly than 00:03:07.370 --> 00:03:12.050 that. Life became busy. Responsibilities multiplied. 00:03:12.490 --> 00:03:15.780 Children needed our attention. Ministry demanded 00:03:15.780 --> 00:03:19.840 more. Work required more of us than it had before. 00:03:20.539 --> 00:03:24.099 None of those things were sinful. In fact, many 00:03:24.099 --> 00:03:27.340 of them were blessings from God. But blessings 00:03:27.340 --> 00:03:30.699 can become distractions when they slowly replace 00:03:30.699 --> 00:03:34.099 the one who gave them. That is the danger of 00:03:34.099 --> 00:03:37.819 complacency. Complacency does not always look 00:03:37.819 --> 00:03:41.979 like rebellion. More often, it looks like neglect. 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:45.379 It is the slow assumption that because we have 00:03:45.379 --> 00:03:48.280 walked with God for many years, we no longer 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:51.479 need to pursue him with the same hunger we once 00:03:51.479 --> 00:03:55.300 had. It quietly tells us that yesterday's intimacy 00:03:55.300 --> 00:03:58.520 will be enough for today, but love has never 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:02.360 grown that way. No marriage remains healthy because 00:04:02.360 --> 00:04:06.340 of yesterday's conversation. No friendship remains 00:04:06.340 --> 00:04:09.319 strong because of yesterday's time together. 00:04:09.719 --> 00:04:13.599 Every meaningful relationship is sustained by 00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:17.220 continual fellowship. Why would our relationship 00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:21.500 with God be any different? I think about the 00:04:21.500 --> 00:04:25.180 church in Ephesus. Jesus commended them for their 00:04:25.180 --> 00:04:29.120 perseverance, their discernment, and their faithfulness. 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:33.040 Outwardly, they looked like a healthy church, 00:04:33.459 --> 00:04:36.860 yet his concern was not with what they were doing. 00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:40.300 It was with what they had slowly stopped becoming. 00:04:41.379 --> 00:04:44.300 You have forsaken the love you had at first. 00:04:44.839 --> 00:04:48.379 There was still serving, still working, still 00:04:48.379 --> 00:04:51.480 enduring, but something precious had quietly 00:04:51.480 --> 00:04:55.120 faded. I wonder how many Christian homes look 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:59.180 exactly like that, still functioning, still attending 00:04:59.180 --> 00:05:02.839 church, still raising children, still carrying 00:05:02.839 --> 00:05:06.680 responsibilities. Yet the warmth that once filled 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:10.360 the house has become harder to recognize because 00:05:10.360 --> 00:05:14.800 complacency slowly replaced pursuit. And perhaps 00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:17.360 that is one of the enemy's greatest victories. 00:05:18.019 --> 00:05:22.040 Not convincing us to hate God, simply convincing 00:05:22.040 --> 00:05:25.800 us that we can safely live without intentionally 00:05:25.800 --> 00:05:28.800 seeking him every day. That is where our story 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:32.139 began and at the time we didn't even realize 00:05:32.139 --> 00:05:36.980 it. As I look back today, I don't think complacency 00:05:36.980 --> 00:05:39.980 was the problem. I think it was the door. Once 00:05:39.980 --> 00:05:43.339 that door was opened, other things quietly found 00:05:43.339 --> 00:05:46.779 their way into our home. That is the nature of 00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:49.740 spiritual complacency. It never comes alone. 00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:53.300 It always brings something with it. The more 00:05:53.300 --> 00:05:56.660 I reflected on our journey, the more I realized 00:05:56.660 --> 00:05:59.639 that this pattern is found throughout scripture. 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:03.339 Adam and Eve did not lose the garden the day 00:06:03.339 --> 00:06:06.660 they ate the fruit. Something had already changed 00:06:06.660 --> 00:06:09.579 before they ever reached for it. They had stopped 00:06:09.579 --> 00:06:12.899 depending on God's voice and started entertaining 00:06:12.899 --> 00:06:16.360 another one. The fruit was simply the visible 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:20.220 consequence of an invisible drift. That is how 00:06:20.220 --> 00:06:23.759 the enemy works. He rarely begins with the visible 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:27.600 sin. He begins by changing what captures our 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:30.910 attention. That is exactly what happened to Samson. 00:06:31.449 --> 00:06:34.269 His strength did not disappear the day his hair 00:06:34.269 --> 00:06:38.329 was cut. His downfall began long before that, 00:06:38.589 --> 00:06:41.350 when he slowly became comfortable with crossing 00:06:41.350 --> 00:06:44.670 boundaries that God had established for his life. 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:49.000 One decision led to another, one compromise prepared 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:52.500 the next, until one day he woke up believing 00:06:52.500 --> 00:06:56.639 he could live exactly as he always had, not realizing 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:00.240 that the presence of God had departed from him. 00:07:00.699 --> 00:07:04.139 That verse has always troubled me. He did not 00:07:04.139 --> 00:07:07.860 know that the Lord had left him. What a frightening 00:07:07.860 --> 00:07:11.839 sentence. Not because God is eager to abandon 00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:15.379 his people. but because it reveals how easily 00:07:15.379 --> 00:07:18.959 we can become unaware of what is happening inside 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:22.459 us while everything still appears normal on the 00:07:22.459 --> 00:07:27.339 outside. I believe marriages can experience something 00:07:27.339 --> 00:07:31.500 very similar. A husband and wife can still live 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:35.399 under the same roof, still go to church, still 00:07:35.399 --> 00:07:39.439 raise the children, still smile in public, still 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:43.769 celebrate anniversaries, and yet, Without realizing 00:07:43.769 --> 00:07:47.709 it, they began living beside one another instead 00:07:47.709 --> 00:07:51.829 of walking together. That was our story. Not 00:07:51.829 --> 00:07:54.449 because we stopped loving each other, but because 00:07:54.449 --> 00:07:57.350 we slowly stopped protecting the relationship 00:07:57.350 --> 00:08:01.829 that made our love grow. The conversations became 00:08:01.829 --> 00:08:05.949 shorter. The moments together became less intentional. 00:08:06.910 --> 00:08:10.029 We became very good at managing responsibilities. 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:13.600 but we were no longer investing in our relationship 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:17.680 with the same intentionality we once had. And 00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:20.420 perhaps that is one of the greatest deceptions 00:08:20.420 --> 00:08:24.060 of complacency. It convinces us that because 00:08:24.060 --> 00:08:28.120 we are still functioning, we must also be flourishing. 00:08:28.180 --> 00:08:31.439 But those are not the same thing. A marriage 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:34.940 can continue functioning while quietly losing 00:08:34.940 --> 00:08:39.019 its warmth. A Christian can continue serving. 00:08:39.149 --> 00:08:43.370 while quietly losing intimacy with God. A family 00:08:43.370 --> 00:08:46.850 can continue living together while quietly drifting 00:08:46.850 --> 00:08:51.509 apart. Looking back now, I can honestly say that 00:08:51.509 --> 00:08:54.610 nothing dramatic had happened yet. If someone 00:08:54.610 --> 00:08:57.990 had asked us how we were doing, we probably would 00:08:57.990 --> 00:09:02.070 have answered, we're fine. And maybe we even 00:09:02.070 --> 00:09:05.330 believed it. Because complacency has a way of 00:09:05.330 --> 00:09:09.909 making slow drift feel normal. Until one day, 00:09:10.509 --> 00:09:13.590 you realize how far you've drifted from where 00:09:13.590 --> 00:09:17.590 you once were. There is something I have learned 00:09:17.590 --> 00:09:21.029 over the years. No couple wakes up one morning 00:09:21.029 --> 00:09:24.710 and decides to stop loving each other. That is 00:09:24.710 --> 00:09:28.570 rarely how marriages begin to fall apart. It 00:09:28.570 --> 00:09:31.470 usually starts with disappointments that are 00:09:31.470 --> 00:09:35.269 never fully healed. Conversations that are postponed 00:09:35.269 --> 00:09:38.169 until tomorrow, wounds that are never brought 00:09:38.169 --> 00:09:41.350 into the light, and a growing distance that nobody 00:09:41.350 --> 00:09:46.009 notices because life keeps everyone busy. Looking 00:09:46.009 --> 00:09:49.649 back today, I can honestly say that Giselle and 00:09:49.649 --> 00:09:53.850 I did not suddenly arrive at that place. We drifted 00:09:53.850 --> 00:09:57.950 there. One season at a time. One disappointment 00:09:57.950 --> 00:10:02.889 at a time. One misunderstanding at a time. Until 00:10:02.889 --> 00:10:06.269 one day we looked at each other and realized 00:10:06.269 --> 00:10:08.990 that we were no longer enjoying the marriage 00:10:08.990 --> 00:10:12.789 we had once dreamed of building together. There 00:10:12.789 --> 00:10:15.330 were moments when we genuinely wondered whether 00:10:15.330 --> 00:10:19.269 we had reached the end of our journey. The joy 00:10:19.269 --> 00:10:22.509 that had once come so naturally seemed difficult 00:10:22.509 --> 00:10:26.049 to find. The conversations that once brought 00:10:26.049 --> 00:10:29.769 us closer together sometimes left us feeling 00:10:29.769 --> 00:10:34.049 even farther apart. The house was still standing, 00:10:34.149 --> 00:10:37.889 but the atmosphere inside the house had changed. 00:10:38.549 --> 00:10:41.250 There came a point where we began discussing 00:10:41.250 --> 00:10:44.330 things that we never imagined we would discuss. 00:10:44.929 --> 00:10:48.210 We talked about separating. We talked to lawyers. 00:10:48.850 --> 00:10:52.509 We began organizing our finances as though we 00:10:52.509 --> 00:10:56.149 were preparing to live two different lives. I 00:10:56.149 --> 00:10:58.990 remember thinking that perhaps this was simply 00:10:58.990 --> 00:11:03.169 how our story would end. After all, we had tried, 00:11:03.789 --> 00:11:07.830 we had prayed, we loved God, and yet it seemed 00:11:07.830 --> 00:11:10.769 as though we had nothing left to give each other. 00:11:11.370 --> 00:11:14.429 If I am completely honest with you, there were 00:11:14.429 --> 00:11:17.370 moments when I believed our first love was gone 00:11:17.370 --> 00:11:21.669 forever. That is difficult to say, but it is 00:11:21.669 --> 00:11:24.809 the truth. And perhaps someone listening today 00:11:24.809 --> 00:11:28.429 has whispered those same words in the silence 00:11:28.429 --> 00:11:32.450 of their own heart. Maybe you have wondered whether 00:11:32.450 --> 00:11:36.450 what has been lost can ever be found again. Maybe 00:11:36.450 --> 00:11:39.309 you have convinced yourself that your marriage 00:11:39.309 --> 00:11:43.269 has reached a point beyond restoration. Maybe 00:11:43.269 --> 00:11:46.629 you are still living in the same house, but it 00:11:46.629 --> 00:11:50.649 no longer feels like home. If that is where you 00:11:50.649 --> 00:11:54.370 are today, I want you to know that I understand 00:11:54.370 --> 00:11:57.049 those emotions because we have walked through 00:11:57.049 --> 00:12:01.200 them ourselves. But there is one thing I did 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:05.019 not understand at the time. I thought our greatest 00:12:05.019 --> 00:12:08.659 problem was that we had lost our love for one 00:12:08.659 --> 00:12:12.899 another. Looking back now, I see it differently. 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:17.759 Love was not the first thing we lost. The first 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:21.200 thing we lost was our shared pursuit of God's 00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:25.059 presence. When Christ quietly stopped being the 00:12:25.059 --> 00:12:28.340 center of our home, Everything else slowly began 00:12:28.340 --> 00:12:32.220 to move out of its proper place. Our communication 00:12:32.220 --> 00:12:36.320 suffered. Our patience became thinner. Forgiveness 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:40.620 became more difficult. The warmth we once enjoyed 00:12:40.620 --> 00:12:44.480 became harder to recognize. Everything we have 00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:47.539 talked about throughout this entire season was 00:12:47.539 --> 00:12:51.539 no longer just a lesson. It had become our reality 00:12:51.539 --> 00:12:55.690 and then... When we had almost convinced ourselves 00:12:55.690 --> 00:13:00.370 that our story was over, God stepped into our 00:13:00.370 --> 00:13:08.110 house once again. But God, there are two words 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:10.789 that appear throughout the Bible that have always 00:13:10.789 --> 00:13:15.529 filled my heart with hope. But God, those two 00:13:15.529 --> 00:13:18.710 words have changed the course of countless lives. 00:13:19.710 --> 00:13:22.950 Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery. but 00:13:22.950 --> 00:13:26.450 God turned what was meant for evil into good. 00:13:27.210 --> 00:13:29.830 The children of Israel stood trapped between 00:13:29.830 --> 00:13:33.850 Pharaoh's army and the Red Sea, but God made 00:13:33.850 --> 00:13:38.049 a way where there seemed to be no way. Lazarus 00:13:38.049 --> 00:13:41.970 had been in the tomb for four days, but God was 00:13:41.970 --> 00:13:45.389 not finished writing his story. The cross appeared 00:13:45.389 --> 00:13:49.269 to be Satan's greatest victory, but God raised 00:13:49.269 --> 00:13:53.740 Jesus from the dead. Again and again, when man 00:13:53.740 --> 00:13:57.600 reaches the end of himself, God begins revealing 00:13:57.600 --> 00:14:01.200 what he had planned all along. That is exactly 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:04.799 what happened to us. When we had exhausted our 00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:08.580 own strength, God reminded us that our marriage 00:14:08.580 --> 00:14:11.539 had never been sustained by our strength in the 00:14:11.539 --> 00:14:14.860 first place. It had always been sustained by 00:14:14.860 --> 00:14:18.879 his grace. I cannot point to one single conversation. 00:14:19.210 --> 00:14:22.990 that suddenly changed everything. I cannot point 00:14:22.990 --> 00:14:26.309 to one counseling session that instantly fixed 00:14:26.309 --> 00:14:29.529 our marriage. I cannot tell you that we woke 00:14:29.529 --> 00:14:32.669 up one morning and every wound had disappeared. 00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:37.230 That is not how God worked in our lives. He began 00:14:37.230 --> 00:14:41.129 by bringing us back to Himself before He restored 00:14:41.129 --> 00:14:45.389 our marriage, He restored our hearts, before 00:14:45.389 --> 00:14:48.009 He healed our relationship with one another. 00:14:48.379 --> 00:14:52.039 He renewed our relationship with Him, and that 00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:55.259 changed everything. We began praying together 00:14:55.259 --> 00:14:58.860 again, not because someone told us we had to, 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:02.100 but because we realized we could no longer live 00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:05.120 without God's presence at the center of our home. 00:15:05.559 --> 00:15:09.379 We returned to His word, not looking for information, 00:15:09.940 --> 00:15:15.379 but looking for Him. We repented. Not only are 00:15:15.379 --> 00:15:17.960 the things we had done wrong toward each other, 00:15:18.539 --> 00:15:21.940 but of the ways we had slowly allowed other things 00:15:21.940 --> 00:15:24.419 to take the place that only Christ was meant 00:15:24.419 --> 00:15:29.419 to occupy. Looking back today, I don't believe 00:15:29.419 --> 00:15:32.799 God simply repaired our marriage. He rebuilt 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:36.220 our foundation. He reminded us that our covenant 00:15:36.220 --> 00:15:39.779 was never based on feelings. It was never sustained 00:15:39.779 --> 00:15:43.200 by emotions. It was never secured by our own 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:47.169 determination. It was built upon Christ. And 00:15:47.169 --> 00:15:49.830 when Christ returned to the center of our house, 00:15:50.769 --> 00:15:54.769 the atmosphere began to change. Peace slowly 00:15:54.769 --> 00:15:59.690 returned. Grace became easier to extend. Forgiveness 00:15:59.690 --> 00:16:03.190 no longer felt impossible. Conversations that 00:16:03.190 --> 00:16:06.250 had once ended in frustration began leading us 00:16:06.250 --> 00:16:09.370 back toward understanding. The warmth returned, 00:16:09.690 --> 00:16:12.549 not because our circumstances suddenly became 00:16:12.549 --> 00:16:15.970 easier. but because the one who gives life to 00:16:15.970 --> 00:16:19.330 the house was once again occupying his rightful 00:16:19.330 --> 00:16:23.450 place. That is why I can stand before you today 00:16:23.450 --> 00:16:27.429 with absolute confidence and tell you this. God 00:16:27.429 --> 00:16:30.929 is not only able to restore marriages, he is 00:16:30.929 --> 00:16:34.090 able to restore everything that seemed to disappear 00:16:34.090 --> 00:16:38.070 inside the marriage. He restores hope. He restores 00:16:38.070 --> 00:16:42.649 trust. He restores joy. He restores friendship. 00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:48.039 He restores purpose. And sometimes, he even restores 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:51.220 the very love you thought had been lost forever. 00:16:51.820 --> 00:16:54.580 Because our God has always been in the business 00:16:54.580 --> 00:16:57.519 of resurrection. He doesn't simply make things 00:16:57.519 --> 00:17:02.320 better. He makes all things new. When I look 00:17:02.320 --> 00:17:05.579 back on that season today, I don't see failure 00:17:05.579 --> 00:17:08.980 the way I once did. I see a loving Father who 00:17:08.980 --> 00:17:11.779 refused to let us continue building our marriage 00:17:11.779 --> 00:17:15.000 without Him at the center. At the time, I thought 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:17.980 God was simply trying to save our marriage. Now 00:17:17.980 --> 00:17:20.740 I believe He was doing something much greater. 00:17:20.940 --> 00:17:23.980 He was teaching us what marriage was always meant 00:17:23.980 --> 00:17:27.440 to be. Marriage was never intended to be sustained 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.319 by feelings. Feelings are beautiful. They are 00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.140 gifts from God. But they were never meant to 00:17:33.140 --> 00:17:36.180 become the foundation of a covenant. There were 00:17:36.180 --> 00:17:39.500 days when we felt deeply in love with one another. 00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:42.640 There were other days when those feelings seemed 00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:45.859 very far away. If our marriage had been built 00:17:45.859 --> 00:17:49.460 upon emotions alone, it would never have survived. 00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:53.279 But our covenant rested upon something much stronger 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:56.400 than emotions. It rested upon the faithfulness 00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:00.400 of God. That changed the way we understood love. 00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:05.420 We stopped asking, how do I feel today? We began 00:18:05.420 --> 00:18:08.980 asking, how can I honor the covenant God has 00:18:08.980 --> 00:18:12.680 entrusted to us today? Those are very different 00:18:12.680 --> 00:18:16.940 questions. One is centered on self. The other 00:18:16.940 --> 00:18:20.799 is centered on Christ. I also discovered something 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:24.319 that I had never fully understood before. God 00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:28.359 never asked me to change Giselle. He asked me 00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:32.039 to become more like Christ. That realization 00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:34.759 transformed the way I looked at our marriage. 00:18:35.640 --> 00:18:37.440 Instead of waiting for her to make the first 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.779 step, God began dealing with my own heart. He 00:18:41.779 --> 00:18:45.380 exposed my pride. He revealed my impatience. 00:18:46.220 --> 00:18:48.920 He confronted the expectations I had placed upon 00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:52.759 my wife that only he could fulfill. And I have 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:55.900 no doubt that at the same time, God was doing 00:18:55.900 --> 00:18:59.319 his work in Giselle's heart as well. That is 00:18:59.319 --> 00:19:03.680 how restoration begins. Not when one person changes 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:07.240 the other, but when both people allow God to 00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:11.140 change them. That is why I no longer believe 00:19:11.140 --> 00:19:14.279 the greatest miracle in our story was that we 00:19:14.279 --> 00:19:17.880 stayed married. The greatest miracle was that 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:21.180 Christ reclaimed his rightful place in our home. 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:24.819 Because when he returned to the center, everything 00:19:24.819 --> 00:19:28.769 else slowly found its proper place again. The 00:19:28.769 --> 00:19:32.410 atmosphere changed. The conversations changed. 00:19:32.849 --> 00:19:37.089 Our home changed. Our future changed. Looking 00:19:37.089 --> 00:19:40.730 back today, I understand my father's story better 00:19:40.730 --> 00:19:44.450 than I ever did as a young man. The secret of 00:19:44.450 --> 00:19:46.990 the house in the middle of the forest was never 00:19:46.990 --> 00:19:50.970 the walls. It was never the windows. It was never 00:19:50.970 --> 00:19:55.430 even the fire itself. The secret was always the 00:19:55.430 --> 00:19:59.329 one the house was built for. A house where Christ 00:19:59.329 --> 00:20:02.710 is welcomed will never be a house without hope. 00:20:03.210 --> 00:20:06.910 It may experience storms. It may experience seasons 00:20:06.910 --> 00:20:10.490 of pain. It may even experience moments when 00:20:10.490 --> 00:20:13.990 the fire grows weak. But if Christ remains at 00:20:13.990 --> 00:20:17.509 the center, there is always hope for restoration. 00:20:18.130 --> 00:20:21.309 That is the testimony we wanted to share with 00:20:21.309 --> 00:20:24.829 you. Not because our marriage is perfect, but 00:20:24.829 --> 00:20:31.380 because our savior, As we come to the end of 00:20:31.380 --> 00:20:34.319 this journey together, I find myself thinking 00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:38.700 once again about my father. Many years ago, he 00:20:38.700 --> 00:20:41.519 told me a simple story about a house in the middle 00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.940 of the forest. At the time, I thought he was 00:20:44.940 --> 00:20:48.920 teaching me about marriage. Today, I realize 00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:52.039 he was teaching me about life, because every 00:20:52.039 --> 00:20:55.250 one of us is building a house. Some of you are 00:20:55.250 --> 00:20:58.049 preparing to get married. Some of you have been 00:20:58.049 --> 00:21:01.809 married for only a few years. Others have spent 00:21:01.809 --> 00:21:05.890 decades together. Some of you are walking through 00:21:05.890 --> 00:21:09.670 one of the happiest seasons of your lives. Others 00:21:09.670 --> 00:21:13.410 are listening today with tears in your eyes because 00:21:13.410 --> 00:21:17.009 your house no longer feels like home. Wherever 00:21:17.009 --> 00:21:20.150 you are on that journey, I want you to remember 00:21:20.150 --> 00:21:23.559 one thing. Never stop protecting the presence 00:21:23.559 --> 00:21:26.779 of God in your home. Protect it more than your 00:21:26.779 --> 00:21:29.940 reputation. Protect it more than your success. 00:21:30.359 --> 00:21:32.960 Protect it more than your possessions. Protect 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:36.339 it more than being right. Because when God's 00:21:36.339 --> 00:21:38.819 presence remains at the center of your house, 00:21:39.019 --> 00:21:42.099 He will give you the wisdom to face every disagreement. 00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:45.380 the humility to ask for forgiveness, the grace 00:21:45.380 --> 00:21:48.500 to forgive one another, and the strength to remain 00:21:48.500 --> 00:21:53.059 standing when the storms eventually come. The 00:21:53.059 --> 00:21:57.000 forest has never been the greatest danger. Storms 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:00.180 have never been the greatest danger. Even conflict 00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:03.539 has never been the greatest danger. The greatest 00:22:03.539 --> 00:22:07.440 danger is quietly learning to live without intentionally 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:10.740 seeking the one who gave life to your home in 00:22:10.740 --> 00:22:14.619 the first place. Don't allow busyness to replace 00:22:14.619 --> 00:22:18.240 devotion. Don't allow familiarity to replace 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:22.420 gratitude. Don't allow routine to replace worship. 00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:26.200 Don't allow complacency to convince you that 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:29.180 yesterday's relationship with God will be enough 00:22:29.180 --> 00:22:33.200 for today's challenges. Continue praying together. 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:37.039 Continue opening God's Word together. Continue 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:40.660 worshiping together. Continue speaking life over 00:22:40.660 --> 00:22:44.019 one another. Continue protecting the atmosphere 00:22:44.019 --> 00:22:47.359 inside your home, because your children are growing 00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:50.500 inside that atmosphere. They are learning what 00:22:50.500 --> 00:22:53.180 love looks like, what forgiveness looks like, 00:22:53.299 --> 00:22:56.640 what faith looks like, and what it means to follow 00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:59.960 Christ, not only by listening to what you say, 00:23:00.220 --> 00:23:03.900 but by watching how you live. One day, they will 00:23:03.900 --> 00:23:07.009 build houses of their own. The atmosphere you 00:23:07.009 --> 00:23:10.410 cultivate today will become part of the foundation 00:23:10.410 --> 00:23:14.150 they carry into the next generation. That is 00:23:14.150 --> 00:23:17.349 why your marriage is bigger than the two of you. 00:23:17.450 --> 00:23:20.910 It is a testimony. It is a ministry. It is a 00:23:20.910 --> 00:23:23.890 legacy. And before we close this season, I want 00:23:23.890 --> 00:23:27.170 to leave you with the same lesson my father left 00:23:27.170 --> 00:23:31.069 with me. Never forget that the house was built 00:23:31.069 --> 00:23:34.369 in the middle of the forest. The forest never 00:23:34.369 --> 00:23:37.779 disappeared. The wind never stopped blowing. 00:23:38.299 --> 00:23:40.859 The cold never stopped surrounding the house. 00:23:41.500 --> 00:23:44.220 But none of those things determined what happened 00:23:44.220 --> 00:23:48.859 inside. The atmosphere inside the house was determined 00:23:48.859 --> 00:23:52.759 by what was protected inside the house. May that 00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:56.700 always be true of your home. May Christ always 00:23:56.700 --> 00:24:00.180 remain the center of your marriage. May his presence 00:24:00.180 --> 00:24:04.710 always be the fire that fills every room. And 00:24:04.710 --> 00:24:07.990 may your house become a place where your children, 00:24:08.529 --> 00:24:11.890 your grandchildren, your friends, and everyone 00:24:11.890 --> 00:24:16.069 who enters can experience the peace, the love, 00:24:16.269 --> 00:24:19.950 and the faithfulness of God. Because in the end, 00:24:20.589 --> 00:24:23.250 the greatest testimony of a Christian marriage 00:24:23.250 --> 00:24:27.029 is not that it never faced the forest. It is 00:24:27.029 --> 00:24:31.069 that, in the middle of the forest, it never stopped 00:24:31.069 --> 00:24:37.240 welcoming the presence of God. Before we close 00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:40.519 this season, I want to thank every one of you 00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:43.259 who has walked with us through the house in the 00:24:43.259 --> 00:24:46.799 middle of the forest. What began as a simple 00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:50.740 story my father shared with me became a journey 00:24:50.740 --> 00:24:54.559 that reminded us of something we must never forget. 00:24:55.859 --> 00:24:59.220 A Christian home is not sustained by walls. It 00:24:59.220 --> 00:25:02.339 is not sustained by emotions. It is not even 00:25:02.339 --> 00:25:06.029 sustained by good intentions. A Christian home 00:25:06.029 --> 00:25:09.309 is sustained by the presence of God. That is 00:25:09.309 --> 00:25:12.450 my prayer for you, that your house will remain 00:25:12.450 --> 00:25:17.390 warm, that your family will remain united, and 00:25:17.390 --> 00:25:20.289 that Christ will always be at the center of everything 00:25:20.289 --> 00:25:25.549 you build. But as we close this season, another 00:25:25.549 --> 00:25:29.029 question is already on my heart. What happens 00:25:29.029 --> 00:25:32.160 after the house is built? Because protecting 00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:35.319 a Christ -centered home is only one part of the 00:25:35.319 --> 00:25:39.339 journey. The reality is that every day we walk 00:25:39.339 --> 00:25:43.880 into a world filled with responsibilities, opportunities, 00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:48.559 promotions, ambitions, deadlines, and pressures 00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:52.480 that quietly compete for our attention. Very 00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:56.140 few homes are destroyed overnight. Many are slowly 00:25:56.140 --> 00:25:59.400 neglected while we are busy trying to build a 00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:03.599 successful life. That is why, in our next season 00:26:03.599 --> 00:26:07.259 of Pamoja Podcast, we're going to explore a journey 00:26:07.259 --> 00:26:10.539 that I believe speaks to every husband, every 00:26:10.539 --> 00:26:14.500 wife, every parent, every leader, every entrepreneur, 00:26:15.099 --> 00:26:18.480 every employee, and everyone who has ever struggled 00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:22.440 to keep life in its proper order when success 00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:26.460 steals your life. Together, we will discover 00:26:26.460 --> 00:26:30.109 how success can quietly create isolation. how 00:26:30.109 --> 00:26:34.009 ambition can slowly replace devotion, how providing 00:26:34.009 --> 00:26:37.109 for the people we love can sometimes keep us 00:26:37.109 --> 00:26:40.089 away from them, and why some of the greatest 00:26:40.089 --> 00:26:43.170 spiritual battles are fought not in moments of 00:26:43.170 --> 00:26:46.769 failure but in seasons of achievement. We will 00:26:46.769 --> 00:26:50.349 talk about David before Bathsheba, the appetite 00:26:50.349 --> 00:26:54.049 created by isolation, work husbands and work 00:26:54.049 --> 00:26:58.490 wives, providing everything except yourself. 00:26:58.779 --> 00:27:02.400 when labor becomes an idol, and how to come home 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:05.700 again before success costs us what matters most. 00:27:06.339 --> 00:27:09.680 Because success is a wonderful servant, but it 00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:13.119 is a terrible master. And if we are not careful, 00:27:13.720 --> 00:27:17.019 we may gain everything we were chasing, while 00:27:17.019 --> 00:27:20.339 quietly losing everything God entrusted to our 00:27:20.339 --> 00:27:24.160 care. I cannot wait to begin this journey with 00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:28.900 you. Until then, Continue protecting the atmosphere 00:27:28.900 --> 00:27:32.819 inside your home. Continue making room for the 00:27:32.819 --> 00:27:36.440 presence of God. Continue choosing one another. 00:27:37.339 --> 00:27:40.940 And remember, the greatest success you will ever 00:27:40.940 --> 00:27:43.900 achieve is not measured by what you accomplish 00:27:43.900 --> 00:27:47.700 in the world, but by what remains alive inside 00:27:47.700 --> 00:27:50.819 your home when you walk through the front door. 00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:54.890 I'm Barry Mwamba. Thank you for joining me on 00:27:54.890 --> 00:27:59.690 Pomoja Podcast. God bless you, and I'll see you 00:27:59.690 --> 00:28:04.829 in season two, when success steals your life.