WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.740 Welcome back to Pomoja Podcast, a ministry of 00:00:03.740 --> 00:00:07.219 life of Christ International Ministries. Pomoja 00:00:07.219 --> 00:00:10.720 means together. And that's exactly what this 00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:13.859 space is about. The place where stronger lives 00:00:13.859 --> 00:00:17.320 are built. Faith is strengthened. Hearts are 00:00:17.320 --> 00:00:20.399 encouraged. And Christ -centered homes are shaped 00:00:20.399 --> 00:00:24.019 through ordinary conversations that become extraordinary 00:00:24.019 --> 00:00:27.920 encounters with God's truth. One conversation. 00:00:28.760 --> 00:00:34.399 One story. one revelation at a time. Thank you 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:37.460 for joining me for another powerful conversation. 00:00:40.100 --> 00:00:44.460 Today, we continue our journey inside. The house 00:00:44.460 --> 00:00:47.740 in the middle of the forest. The visitor has 00:00:47.740 --> 00:00:50.679 finally entered the house. The door has closed 00:00:50.679 --> 00:00:54.259 behind him. Everything he imagined from the outside 00:00:54.259 --> 00:00:58.359 has become reality. The house is beautiful. Peace 00:00:58.359 --> 00:01:01.689 fills every room. There is laughter. There is 00:01:01.689 --> 00:01:06.849 joy. There is love. But then, he notices something 00:01:06.849 --> 00:01:11.430 unexpected. The house is warm. Not just comfortable. 00:01:12.129 --> 00:01:15.950 Warm. And for many years, I wondered why my father 00:01:15.950 --> 00:01:18.870 included that detail. Why mention the warmth? 00:01:19.629 --> 00:01:22.909 Why not describe the furniture, the decorations, 00:01:23.310 --> 00:01:27.170 or the meal? Instead, he wanted us to notice 00:01:27.170 --> 00:01:32.769 the warmth. Now, I believe I understand. The 00:01:32.769 --> 00:01:35.390 warmth wasn't describing the temperature of the 00:01:35.390 --> 00:01:38.609 house. It was revealing the journey of the people 00:01:38.609 --> 00:01:42.950 living inside it. Because every marriage, every 00:01:42.950 --> 00:01:47.329 family, every relationship will eventually experience 00:01:47.329 --> 00:01:52.090 heat. Not every fire destroys. Some fires reveal, 00:01:52.629 --> 00:01:56.859 some fires refine. Some fires prepare us to become 00:01:56.859 --> 00:02:00.920 what God has already declared us to be. Today, 00:02:01.739 --> 00:02:05.099 I want to talk to you about the inevitable fire. 00:02:05.780 --> 00:02:08.659 One of the greatest misconceptions about marriage 00:02:08.659 --> 00:02:13.120 is believing that love eliminates conflict. It 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:17.080 doesn't. Marriage does not remove our humanity. 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:21.759 It brings two human beings with different stories, 00:02:22.460 --> 00:02:25.780 different personalities. different expectations, 00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:29.939 different habits, different strengths, and different 00:02:29.939 --> 00:02:34.780 weaknesses into one covenant. Think about it. 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:38.379 Two people raised in different homes, different 00:02:38.379 --> 00:02:42.280 cultures, different family traditions, different 00:02:42.280 --> 00:02:45.860 ways of expressing love, different ways of handling 00:02:45.860 --> 00:02:49.419 pain, different ways of solving problems. Then 00:02:49.419 --> 00:02:53.060 God says, become one. Notice the word scripture 00:02:53.060 --> 00:02:58.969 uses. not you are one, but you shall become one. 00:02:59.389 --> 00:03:02.349 Becoming is a journey. It doesn't happen at the 00:03:02.349 --> 00:03:05.909 altar. It begins there. The wedding creates the 00:03:05.909 --> 00:03:09.469 covenant. Life shapes the union. And somewhere 00:03:09.469 --> 00:03:14.009 along that journey, the warmth of the house becomes 00:03:14.009 --> 00:03:17.629 a fire. Not because the marriage is failing, 00:03:18.189 --> 00:03:20.930 but because God is forming something that cannot 00:03:20.930 --> 00:03:24.289 be produced without heat. Some lessons cannot 00:03:24.289 --> 00:03:28.229 be learned in prayer alone. Some maturity cannot 00:03:28.229 --> 00:03:31.830 be gained in peaceful seasons. Some character 00:03:31.830 --> 00:03:36.710 cannot grow without pressure. Fire reveals what 00:03:36.710 --> 00:03:41.250 comfort often hides. Before I continue, I want 00:03:41.250 --> 00:03:44.229 to stop teaching for a moment and simply speak 00:03:44.229 --> 00:03:48.430 to you as a husband. My wife and I have been 00:03:48.430 --> 00:03:51.789 married for 18 years before we were married. 00:03:51.870 --> 00:03:55.969 We dated for five. Together, we've spent more 00:03:55.969 --> 00:03:58.610 than two decades walking this journey. We're 00:03:58.610 --> 00:04:02.210 both followers of Jesus Christ. We're born again. 00:04:03.069 --> 00:04:07.729 We love God's word. We love his church. Today, 00:04:08.569 --> 00:04:11.830 by the grace of God, we have a beautiful family, 00:04:12.370 --> 00:04:15.210 a deep friendship, and a love that continues 00:04:15.210 --> 00:04:19.970 to grow. But getting here wasn't easy. We've 00:04:19.970 --> 00:04:23.649 walked through real storms, not imagined ones. 00:04:24.170 --> 00:04:27.490 Real disappointments. Real misunderstandings. 00:04:28.250 --> 00:04:31.970 Real pain. There were seasons when we honestly 00:04:31.970 --> 00:04:35.750 wondered if we were going to make it. There were 00:04:35.750 --> 00:04:39.350 nights when we believed love had disappeared. 00:04:40.430 --> 00:04:42.990 Moments when we stopped hearing each other's 00:04:42.990 --> 00:04:46.589 hearts. Times when we separated our finances. 00:04:47.779 --> 00:04:51.120 conversations about lawyers, plans to live separate 00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:54.939 lives. There was a season when we truly believed 00:04:54.939 --> 00:04:59.759 we had lost our first love and then the heat 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:03.879 found us. It was our first real fight, not a 00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:07.379 disagreement, not a misunderstanding, a real 00:05:07.379 --> 00:05:11.699 fight. I was angry, frustrated, overwhelmed. 00:05:12.300 --> 00:05:14.600 Everything inside me felt like it was exploding. 00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:20.310 Then In one moment, I have never forgotten. I 00:05:20.310 --> 00:05:22.949 took off my wedding ring, threw it across the 00:05:22.949 --> 00:05:25.670 room, watched it hit the floor, and shouted, 00:05:26.009 --> 00:05:29.250 you lied to me. Those words didn't come from 00:05:29.250 --> 00:05:32.910 hatred. They came from hurt. Looking back today, 00:05:33.649 --> 00:05:37.730 I realized something. That day, the house wasn't 00:05:37.730 --> 00:05:42.389 warm. It was hot, uncomfortable, confrontational. 00:05:42.870 --> 00:05:46.600 Everything hidden was suddenly exposed. But now 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:50.339 I understand God allowed that fire not to destroy 00:05:50.339 --> 00:05:54.839 us, but to reveal us. Because fire always exposes 00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:58.980 what peace can hide. It exposed my pride, my 00:05:58.980 --> 00:06:02.819 expectations, my immaturity, my inability to 00:06:02.819 --> 00:06:06.839 communicate, my desire to be understood before 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:10.220 understanding. The fire wasn't revealing who 00:06:10.220 --> 00:06:14.839 my wife was. The fire was revealing who I was. 00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:19.300 And sometimes that's God's greatest work in marriage. 00:06:20.220 --> 00:06:23.579 But here's what still amazes me. When the fire 00:06:23.579 --> 00:06:27.740 became too much, God sent people, not judges, 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:33.160 not critics, mentors, a pastoral couple who became 00:06:33.160 --> 00:06:35.980 our spiritual father and mother. They didn't 00:06:35.980 --> 00:06:39.259 come to choose sides. They came to protect the 00:06:39.259 --> 00:06:43.079 covenant. They sat with us. They listened. They 00:06:43.079 --> 00:06:46.230 calmed the emotions in the room. Without removing 00:06:46.230 --> 00:06:49.649 the lesson God wanted us to learn, they taught 00:06:49.649 --> 00:06:53.610 us how to communicate without attacking, how 00:06:53.610 --> 00:06:57.930 to listen without preparing a defense, how to 00:06:57.930 --> 00:07:01.870 forgive without keeping score, how to fight for 00:07:01.870 --> 00:07:05.910 each other instead of against each other. Looking 00:07:05.910 --> 00:07:10.269 back now, I realize they were more than mentors. 00:07:11.129 --> 00:07:14.550 They were instruments of God's mercy. Throughout 00:07:14.550 --> 00:07:17.790 scripture, God has always surrounded his people 00:07:17.790 --> 00:07:21.990 with voices of wisdom. Moses had Jethro. Joshua 00:07:21.990 --> 00:07:26.250 had Moses. Ruth had Naomi. Elisha had Elijah. 00:07:26.910 --> 00:07:30.129 Timothy had Paul. The pattern has never changed. 00:07:30.810 --> 00:07:33.769 Sometimes the Holy Spirit speaks through his 00:07:33.769 --> 00:07:37.389 word. Sometimes through quiet conviction. And 00:07:37.389 --> 00:07:40.949 sometimes he speaks through people whose lives 00:07:40.949 --> 00:07:44.670 carry the wisdom we desperately need. Mentorship 00:07:44.670 --> 00:07:48.410 is not a sign of weakness. It is one of God's 00:07:48.410 --> 00:07:52.189 greatest gifts. It is wisdom, walking into your 00:07:52.189 --> 00:07:56.829 home. Grace, sitting at your table. Mercy, arriving 00:07:56.829 --> 00:08:01.410 before your marriage falls apart. Inside that 00:08:01.410 --> 00:08:05.189 season, God was building something we could not 00:08:05.189 --> 00:08:08.759 yet see. He was teaching us maturity. teaching 00:08:08.759 --> 00:08:11.980 us to manage our emotions instead of allowing 00:08:11.980 --> 00:08:16.040 our emotions to manage us. Teaching us unity, 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:19.620 teaching us to breathe the same vision, to carry 00:08:19.620 --> 00:08:23.819 the same purpose, to become one family, one heart, 00:08:24.180 --> 00:08:28.019 one covenant. Most importantly, he was teaching 00:08:28.019 --> 00:08:31.439 us dependence, the painful realization that we 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:35.360 could not build this marriage. Without him, marriage 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:39.360 isn't sustained by feelings. Feelings rise and 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:43.620 feelings fall. Marriage is sustained by covenant, 00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:48.019 by grace, by forgiveness, by the strength that 00:08:48.019 --> 00:08:52.720 only Christ provides. Then one day, I looked 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:56.799 back and finally understood the fire had never 00:08:56.799 --> 00:08:59.960 been trying to destroy us. It had been transforming 00:08:59.960 --> 00:09:04.340 us. The same room where I threw my wedding ring 00:09:04.340 --> 00:09:07.669 became the room. where God taught us how to love. 00:09:08.269 --> 00:09:12.129 The same heat that exposed our weaknesses became 00:09:12.129 --> 00:09:17.710 the heat that shaped our character. Maybe your 00:09:17.710 --> 00:09:22.409 house feels warm today. Maybe it even feels hot. 00:09:23.090 --> 00:09:26.370 Maybe you're wondering if your marriage can survive. 00:09:27.090 --> 00:09:30.669 I want to encourage you, don't judge your marriage 00:09:30.669 --> 00:09:35.029 only by the temperature of the moment. Ask instead. 00:09:35.690 --> 00:09:39.850 What is God producing through this season? Because 00:09:39.850 --> 00:09:43.070 if Christ remains at the center, the fire is 00:09:43.070 --> 00:09:46.629 not your enemy. It is his workshop. He is making 00:09:46.629 --> 00:09:50.870 two people become one. One language, one vision, 00:09:51.509 --> 00:09:56.289 one purpose, one family, one testimony, one witness 00:09:56.289 --> 00:10:00.230 to the world. And that is why the warmth inside 00:10:00.230 --> 00:10:03.210 the house was never meant to frighten the visitor. 00:10:03.669 --> 00:10:07.960 It was meant to reveal A beautiful truth. Lasting 00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:12.080 love is not forged in feelings. Lasting love 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:16.740 is forged in fire. Next time, we'll discover 00:10:16.740 --> 00:10:20.240 something just as important. Not the fire every 00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:24.200 marriage must face, but the fire every marriage 00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:28.139 must choose and keep burning. Until then, may 00:10:28.139 --> 00:10:31.679 God bless your home. Strengthen your covenant. 00:10:31.950 --> 00:10:35.889 and keep the fire of His love alive within your 00:10:35.889 --> 00:10:38.909 house. I'll see you in our next conversation.