Welcome to Pomoja Podcasts, a ministry of Life
of Christ International Ministries. Pomoja means
together, and that's exactly what this space
is about. Growing together, learning together,
walking together, one conversation at a time.
I'm your host, Barry Mwamba. And during this
first conversation, I'd like us to explore one
of God's greatest gifts to humanity, marriage.
not simply as a relationship between a man and
a woman, but as a covenant, a covenant established
by God, designed to reflect his heart, and one
of the greatest testimonies the world will ever
witness. At the same time, it has become one
of life's greatest challenges, and I don't think
that's a coincidence. Have you ever stopped and
wondered why? Why has marriage become such a
battlefield? Why do so many couples begin with
hope, only to find themselves struggling a few
years later? Why are families under so much pressure?
Why are husbands and wives constantly being pulled
in different directions? I don't believe the
enemy wastes his energy. Throughout the Bible,
He consistently attacks what heaven values most.
He attacked the promised seed. He attacked worship.
He attacked God's people. He attacked the prophets.
He even tried to destroy the Messiah himself.
So why should we be surprised that he also attacks
marriage? Because marriage is much more than
two people living under the same roof. It is
God's design. It is God's testimony. It is one
of the clearest pictures of Christ and His Church.
And when a Christian marriage reflects God's
heart, it preaches a sermon long before anyone
opens a Bible. Maybe that's why the enemy fears
it so much. This season is an invitation. An
invitation to walk together through a house,
not just any house. a house in the middle of
a forest. Over the next several conversations,
we'll discover its foundation. We'll look through
its windows. We'll walk through its rooms. We'll
stand together when storms come. And by the end
of this journey, my prayer is that you'll never
look at marriage the same way again. Today's
conversation is where it all begins, not with
a wedding. Not with the ceremony, not even with
my marriage. It begins with a story. Actually,
it begins with my father, you know. When I was
preparing to get married, I thought I knew what
I needed. Like most young men, I expected advice.
I thought my father would talk to me about responsibility,
about communication, about finances. Maybe about
being a good husband. Maybe about leading a family.
The kind of conversation every son expects before
marriage. Instead, he told me a story. At the
time, I'll be honest with you. I didn't fully
understand it. I listened. I appreciated it.
But I didn't realize what he had just placed
in my heart. Some lessons are explained. Others
are planted. And just like seeds, they stay hidden
for years until life begins to water them. Looking
back today, almost 20 years later, I realize
my father wasn't simply giving me advice. He
was giving me a way to see marriage. Sometimes,
God uses stories because stories stay with us
longer than instructions. In fact, That's exactly
what Jesus often did. When people expected an
explanation, he gave them a parable. Not because
he wanted to make things more complicated, but
because stories have a way of reaching places
that information never can. I didn't know it
then, but my father's story would become one
of those stories. One that would quietly grow
inside me, year after year, until one day, I
finally understood what he meant. And that's
the story I'd like to share with you today. Because
I believe if it changed the way I see marriage,
it just might change the way you see it too.
Let's begin. So there I was, a young man, deeply
in love. Certain that I had found the woman I
wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Like
every young man preparing for marriage. I knew
there was one conversation I needed to have.
The conversation with my father. I wanted his
blessing. But more than that, I wanted his wisdom.
Because no matter how much you think you know,
there are people who have already walked the
road you're about to travel. And if you're wise,
you'll listen before you begin your journey.
Looking back today, I realize something. One
of the greatest gifts God gives us is the wisdom
of those who walked before us. The Bible says,
stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the
ancient paths. Ask where the good way is and
walk in it. I think we've lost something in our
generation. We celebrate innovation and sometimes
forget the value of wisdom. We admire what is
new, but overlook those who have already lived
what we're trying to build. My father had already
lived through seasons I had never experienced.
He had already faced storms I couldn't yet imagine.
He had already learned lessons. that I hadn't
even discovered I needed. And because of that,
I chose to listen. Can I encourage you with something?
Never underestimate the value of godly counsel,
especially when you're making decisions that
will shape the rest of your life. A career, a
ministry, a friendship, a marriage. Some decisions
are simply too important to make alone. The book
of Proverbs repeats this truth again and again.
There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors,
not just any counselors, godly counselors, people
who love God more than they love being right,
people who care more about your future than your
feelings, people willing to tell you the truth,
even when it isn't what you hope to hear. I thank
God that my father was one of those people. So,
I sat down with him, expecting what every son
expects. Advice, practical wisdom, maybe a checklist,
maybe instructions about being a husband, maybe
lessons about finances, leadership, communication,
responsibility, honestly. I don't remember expecting
anything extraordinary, just a conversation between
a father and his son. But instead, he smiled.
looked at me and began telling me a story. No
instructions, no lecture, just a story. I remember
listening, trying to understand where he was
going, and if I'm honest, I wasn't sure. You
know how parents sometimes tell stories, and
halfway through, you're wondering, where is this
going? That was me. I had no idea that nearly
20 years later, I would still be talking about
that story. Sometimes, God hides life's greatest
lessons inside the simplest conversations. That's
why Jesus spoke in parables, because information
fills the mind. But stories find their way into
the heart, and once a story reaches the heart,
it stays there. Looking back now, I realize my
father wasn't trying to answer my questions.
He was changing the way I would see marriage.
There's a difference. Advice tells you what to
do. Vision changes how you see. And once the
way you see changes, the way you live begins
to change as well. That conversation planted
a seed, a seed I didn't fully understand at the
time. It remained buried, quietly growing through
the joys. through the misunderstandings, through
the victories, through the difficult seasons,
until one day, I looked back and realized my
father had been right all along. And today, I'd
like to invite you into that same conversation
because I believe if you can see what my father
wanted me to see, you'll never look at marriage
the same way again. So, This is what he said.
My father looked at me, smiled, and simply said,
my son, let me tell you a story. He said, imagine
a man, not just any man, a man who has decided
to build a house, but not in the city, not where
people pass by every day, not where neighbors
are only a few steps away. Instead, he chooses
a place deep inside a forest. far away from everything.
A place where the only sounds you hear are the
wind moving through the trees, the birds greeting
the morning, and the quietness that only nature
can give. Imagine walking through that forest.
The deeper you go, the quieter it becomes. The
noise of the world slowly disappears. No traffic,
no crowds, no distractions, just trees. one after
another. Then, after what feels like a long walk,
you finally see it. A beautiful house, standing
alone, peaceful, warm, almost unexpected. You
wonder, who lives here? Why would anyone build
a house so far away from everyone else? As you
get closer, you notice something unusual. The
windows don't open. The door only opens from
the outside. And yet, inside the house, everything
is warm, comfortable, peaceful, safe. My father
stopped talking. He looked at me, as if waiting
for me to understand. I didn't. Not really. So
he continued. He said, my son, marriage is like
that house. I'll never forget those words. At
the time, they sounded beautiful, but I didn't
understand them. Not yet. Maybe you've had moments
like that. Someone says something to you, and
you know it's important. But you don't yet know
why. You write it down. You remember it. You
carry it. And then, years later, life explains
what words could not. That's exactly what happened
to me. For years, that story stayed quietly in
my heart. Then marriage began teaching me. what
my father had already tried to show me. Today,
I understand why he didn't give me a list of
rules, because rules can be forgotten. But a
picture stays with you. Can I tell you something
I've discovered? God often teaches through pictures.
When Jesus wanted to explain faith, he spoke
about seeds. When he wanted to explain the kingdom,
he spoke about vineyards. shepherds, sheep, fishermen,
wedding feasts. Why? Because pictures remain
in our hearts long after explanations fade. My
father gave me a picture, a house, standing quietly
in the middle of a forest. And every time life
tested our marriage, I found myself returning
to that house. The older I became, the more I
understood. The story wasn't really about a house.
It was about covenant. It was about protecting
something precious. It was about understanding
that what God builds must also be guarded. Because
every beautiful home will eventually face weather.
Every marriage will experience seasons. Some
days will feel like spring, others like winter.
Some days... The fire inside the house burns
brightly. Other days, someone has to gather more
wood. That's marriage, not perfection, faithfulness,
not the absence of storms, but the decision to
remain inside the covenant while the storm passes.
And perhaps that's the first lesson my father
wanted me to learn. Marriage isn't built because
life will be easy. Marriage is built. Because
covenant gives two people a place to stand when
life becomes difficult that little house hidden
in the middle of the forest has stayed with me
for nearly 20 years and today I'd like to take
you inside it because every part of that house
has something to teach us and I believe Before
this conversation is over you'll begin to recognize
your own house. As I look back today, I realize
something. My father wasn't simply preparing
me for marriage. He was preparing me for the
journey of becoming a husband. There is a difference.
You can prepare for a wedding in a few months,
but becoming a husband takes years, sometimes
a lifetime. I also realize He didn't choose a
lecture. He chose a story. Because stories have
a way of staying with us, long after words are
forgotten. I carried that story into my marriage.
There were moments when I remembered it, moments
when I questioned it, and moments when I finally
understood it. Not all at once. One season at
a time. One challenge at a time. One lesson at
a time. Then one day, I realized something beautiful.
The house hadn't changed. The story hadn't changed.
I had changed. Marriage had changed me. God had
changed me. And suddenly, what once seemed like
a mystery began to make perfect sense. Perhaps
that's where some of you are today. Maybe there
are things God has spoken over your life that
still don't make sense. Promises, prayers, scriptures,
conversations, seeds that were planted years
ago. Don't be discouraged. If you don't understand
everything today, some revelations can only be
understood after you've walked with God for a
while. God rarely reveals everything at once.
He reveals enough for us to take the next step.
Then He teaches us. As we continue walking with
Him, time doesn't replace the Holy Spirit, but
the Holy Spirit often uses time to reveal what
He has already spoken. So don't rush the process.
Walk with Him, trust Him, and allow Him to unfold
His purpose one season at a time. Next time,
we'll walk back into that house, not simply to
admire it, not even to escape it. But to discover
why my father built every detail of that story
the way he did Because nothing inside that house
was accidental Every detail was pointing to something
far greater than I could have imagined Until
then may the Lord strengthen your faith guide
your home and continue building your house one
day one lesson and one revelation at a time.
Thank you for joining me. Grace and peace. I'll
see you in our next conversation.