Hi, what is the most interesting thing you've
ever studied? Maybe it was history or science,
maybe music, maybe mathematics. Well, for me,
mathematics has provided a lifetime of fascinating
questions. But let's face it, people are incredibly
fascinating. Our bodies are a work of wonder.
Our minds and emotions are beyond description.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made. A number
of years ago, I was involved in a mentoring program
for young men in their 20s. And when I first
started, I thought mentoring meant giving advice,
sharing my experiences, offering solutions, helping
them avoid mistakes. But a friend who helped
start the program gave me some advice. Be overflowing
with curiosity. He encouraged me to ask questions,
such as, who are they? What are they hoping for?
What are they afraid of? What experiences shape
them? And my friend was right. The more curious
I became, the more I realized how unique each
person's story is. Every person carried experiences
that I could not see from the outside. And the
only way to uncover those stories was through
curiosity. Curiosity opened the door to mutual
understanding. We were able to understand each
other in a deeper way, and that changed the path
of the mentoring relationship. I've experienced
something similar in marriage. My therapist challenges
me to be curious about my wife, not just about
what she thinks, but why she thinks it. Not just
about what she says, but what experiences and
emotions might be shaping those words. I know
if I hear something or see something that does
not sit right, it is easy for me to slip into
prosecutor mode. Curiosity helps me leave that
mindset behind. I've found that curiosity changes
the conversation. Rather than preparing my next
response, I start to trying to understand. Rather
than assuming, I begin exploring. Rather than
defending, I begin learning. I've come to believe
that curiosity is a muscle that we can all develop.
My curiosity muscle certainly has room to grow.
And for me, mathematics has been one of the best
places to exercise that muscle. For example,
I've studied calculus for more than 40 years,
and I'm still learning new things. There is always
another pattern to be curious about, a fresh
idea I had not considered, another connection
waiting to be discovered. Over time, I've realized
that that same habit that helps me discover new
ideas in math helps me understand people more
deeply. Both begin with a simple belief. There
is more here than I currently see. The mindset
that I bring to mathematics has slowly become
the mindset that I bring to relationships. I
want to know more. And it's been my experience
that one of the greatest gifts curiosity gives
us is not better answers, but it's a deeper appreciation
for the people around us.