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And now a message from our sponsor.

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If you want to join the Patreon, head on over to Apple iTunes and review and subscribe.

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That helps out the channel as well.

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Okay, I'll go rate it I guess.

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And remember, listen to Toys on Tap.

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Captain Bootleg, the bootleg captain sent ya.

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Why do you keep referring to himself in the third person?

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Good night. Stop with the stupid voice now. I'm not sure why you made me want to sound like a pirate.

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Oh, so that was a fake voice.

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Aw, yucko!

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I didn't realize it was just a pretend voice. Oh, okay.

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This is a big one, right?

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Because we, so much of who you are, we've seen.

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Like we know it because you're in the public eye, we see you.

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But this one is kind of that falling rebirth, all that stuff that you're going to talk about today.

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I hope so. I hope it's interesting.

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I mean, I've given you pretty much the whole history of how I came to be who I am at the moment.

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And thinking about the future and how I'm expecting a certain amount of closure on some of the way that I live now.

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And I don't think I could really talk about that without getting into Toy Lords of Chinatown,

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which is the movie series that I've been making that's been running parallel to this entire bootleg toy operation.

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Like I started making toys, bootlegs and onus around 2005 and immediately, you know,

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we're tied up within that process with the whole masking and coming up with these alter egos and these other identities.

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And then also doing the same thing with my friends.

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Yeah.

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You know, like everyone that was in my personal life or a creative partner or got a mask and a name and a character

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and most of the time a figure and everything like that.

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And like right around that time, around the end of 2005, YouTube came out.

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And that was like really the first time you could just like publish videos easily.

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And I was like, well, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of this.

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And I always felt, you know, I am doing this sort of like bizarro world Star Wars and it needs a movie to go along with it.

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And I had to come up with material for that.

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And I was naive at the time and I was working with my partners, my creative partners.

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And we were actually thinking we were going to sell a TV show and we were going to.

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So we were just put it on YouTube just to, you know, just to show what we could do.

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And then there would be like this whole like sort of secondary world that sort of related to the toys.

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And I decided that I needed I didn't want to lead with the subword character because one that you can't act in that costume.

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You know, the face is completely obscured.

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You know, it's like you can't have that be the main character of a story because he's not relatable.

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And I never intended to take the mask off.

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So and I was also worried like, it's two Star Wars.

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You know, it's like I don't want it.

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You know, I was still concerned that if I was going to get get a TV show, I needed original characters.

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And I was like trying to figure out like a name for all of this shit.

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And some somehow I stumbled upon this old 1970s Alphabets commercial.

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You remember that cereal? It was like alphabet soup, except it was cereal instead of soup.

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And they had they would, you know, they would do like co branded licensing things with superheroes.

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And they had like Alphabets and the super friends.

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And they had this contest.

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It was like a design of villain contest where it was like and this is a TV commercial where it was like you buy the box of cereal.

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And there was a one that was a panel on the back and you'd cut it out and you would draw like a villain that you created and send it in.

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And then they would pick the winner. And there was this little lizard creature who was supposed to be a generic villain.

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And he said the most original villain wins. And I was like, oh, that's it.

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Original villains. You know, I'm trying to make something separate from from my appropriated Star Wars shit.

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So I'm going to call this original villains.

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And I came up with a new character called Vector the Intolerable, who was just like, you know, he looks a little bit like MF Doom.

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I've been criticized, you know, because the mask looks similar.

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It's like this. It's really just an Iron Man mask that I cut to look like a cockroach face painted purple through a hood on it.

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Boom. You could see his eyes. You could see his mouth. He can act. He could perform.

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And like he seemed to be a more interesting protagonist to me because the suck ward in my mind or the way it created him was too perfect.

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You know, or he was too unknowable. And like the Vector character is more like the entrance into that.

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So we started filming this show called Original Villains. And it didn't really work out.

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I was collaborating with other people. We were never really on the same page.

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And then I sort of closed that down. And around 2010, rebranded it with myself as the dictator and called it Toy Lord to Chinatown.

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And it just became the sort of parallel universe to like the actual life that I was living about this, you know, misanthropic, struggling toy maker who can't get a leg up in the industry.

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And, you know, and his resort and it's like all his worst qualities are being brought into there.

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And it just seemed to match what was going on in my life.

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And it became a repository to this like sort of slightly, slightly fictionalized, fantastical take on what I was actually doing.

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And I always kind of thought in my mind that somehow the conclusion of this story and the conclusion of my time in the hall are going to coincide.

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That like when I, I cannot get out of this lifestyle that I've created for myself of just being this grimy street level New York City, you know, cockroach dude, you know, making filthy toys in this nasty sweatshop on Canal Street, you know,

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this sweatshop situation like I'm not going to ascend from this life until I finish this story.

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So it's like I'm kind of stuck in it. And it's like it has a definitive conclusion.

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And if I don't end like I'm just like really putting all my efforts to just sort of like finish what I have to say and tie it all up in this night look nice little bow and then I then that will give me the freedom to do whatever I want afterwards.

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And I'm currently pushing towards finishing the fifth and that's the penultimate episode. I've been working on that for the last fucking seven years.

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And then there needs to be a sixth episode after that and then somehow something will happen. And that will be done, and that I will look at my whole body of work of all the bootleg toys I've ever made and everything I've done during this time in my life is like a sort of

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complete phase and a body of work and it's going to end. And I'm never going to make another fucking resin figure ever again. And at that point, there will be tens of thousands of little bastard children of mine floating around in the world for future generations to

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figure out what the fuck I did because I'm tired of trying to explain it to people you either get it or you don't.

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I'll put everything in a book or a series of books and then it's fucking over. And then whatever happens next is going to be distinct and separate from that.

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And I have so many other interests and ambitions that I am only able to pursue partially because most of my time is doing what I'm calling now my day job which is making bootleg figures, which as far as miserable day jobs goes it's not that bad but this lifestyle is not

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sustainable it just doesn't make enough money it's not scalable, and it just, there's no way for it to grow. So, it's, it's plateau. So from that plateau I want to step into music and television, both reality TV and scripted stuff, science fiction writing

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and proper artwork like actual contemporary fine art that sells in a real art gallery for real art money and as big and ostentatious consumer product that rich assholes can hang in there one of their money giant homes.

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You know, sell it at Art Basel same attitude same style same look but just very big, talking to people about making sculptures and bronze, and doing giant blister packaging and that's all happening.

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And then I'm working on my music. I've been, I have a lot of music in me, and I don't get to do it that's why I put those little videos out I don't have, I don't have the time or the wherewithal to actually make songs and record albums I don't have the equipment

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at the time, because the fucked up thing about music or the thing about it is that it's really difficult to do it as a side gig, or as like a part time hustle it's like you really got to immerse yourself in it.

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And if you're going to make a record, if you're going to really record and write and perform and practice. It's like you really got to live it and it's like, I can't, because I'm living this fucking life now so I do what I can on the side and I'm slowly accumulating

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the equipment and practicing and just doing a little bit because I just heard someone say on Instagram someone of these inspirational quote things is like, don't die with the music still inside of you.

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You know if you have, if you have it in you've got to get out even if it's fucking weird. And even if it's something that nobody ever wants to listen to or buy.

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It's very sad if you don't get it out. So that's really important to me to immerse myself in that and you know the problem with it is it's really difficult to make money off of it, and like, I'm so sick of like putting pressure on my creativity to, you know,

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make my money, like, I haven't done anything for the creatively for fun in a year so at least when it comes to art the music yeah but the art no, you know, so I don't want to do that with the music so I have to figure out some other way to get rich.

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So I have time to do it properly and not have to stress about it, but it has to be done. There's like, I didn't mention this before because I didn't know where it fit in.

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But I was in a band for the whole time I was doing the bootlegs almost are like from when I first put out Star Wars break beats to to around 2013 when I moved into the current studio I was playing bass and like a touring band.

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I was this band called CSA, which si se which is like Spanish for it means yes I know in Spanish but it was really the lead singers initials was this woman this young Dominican and Palestinian woman named Carol C and she was like a drum and bass DJ on the

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downtown scene and I met her in the late 90s, and I really had a huge crush on her and she was a singer, singing both English and Spanish. Great voice incredible voice, and she was putting a band together.

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And because I was trying to fuck her. I was like oh I play bass if you need a bass player. Let me know. And she brought me into the band.

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And we, and it, and it started, and that's where I met my friend the crystal Pharaoh, who is the dark Egyptian Darth Vader guy that you see in a lot of my the peripheral psychedelic shit and I've done a couple of music projects with him like the Star Wars band of

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the law shit and that Russian music we put out last year. So that that met him there, and that's how we bonded because we immediately got signed to record deal by David Byrne, of all fucking people.

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We had this little record label called lock about. And they were really into like re issuing world music a lot of South American shit, psychedelic kumbia and all this stuff like that and they signed us, and they, we recorded a record.

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And it was the record was produced by Mike man Genie who coincidentally was the guy that produced the song who let the dogs out, which is perfect.

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And, I mean it wasn't perfect I mean, I didn't love the way the record sounded I mean it was this really kind of lo fi down tempo, you know, beat heavy stuff you know I mean the songs were catchy but had like heavy drums and strange noises that sort of sounded

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like a mixture of maybe Portishead and shoddy, you know, and, but in, in, and in Spanish, and it was quirky music and they the label wanted radio hits.

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And so they tried to turn it into that that's why they hired hired man Genie and it, I didn't think it worked.

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You know it's something got lost in the mix, and it didn't, it didn't didn't make it radio friendly, either. And, but I'm just the bass player so I whatever the thing is I didn't really write much of the music I just sort of played my part.

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And then we went on tour and we toured for fucking 13 years the first tour ever we followed David Byrne opening up for him on like a fucking across the whole fucking country.

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So here's this guy.

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He's well established he's got two fucking tour buses, you know the whole crew whole band. He's like a whole recording studio following him around, you know, every, every possible convenience he could ever need and of course he deserves that meanwhile

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we were on the road for like a month. And we kept, and we did this for 13 fucking years, and we went all over the world we did the Singapore or Turkey, Guatemala Venezuela.

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We would tour the west coast twice a year.

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You know we did, we did Puerto Rico Dominican Republic, and it was fucking great. There's nothing better. I've done all the art, there is I've done every form of art there is. And to me, performing music is the funnest one.

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What's the most satisfying one because, you know, hanging up piece of artwork on the wall is fine like painting sculpting making art is fun, but you're doing it by yourself, the act the creative volition, and the act of creativity happens privately.

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And then you just hang it on a wall and you just stand there and people look at it, and it's just static. You're on stage playing.

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You are the art, you know you are the music, you are the thing and the people in the audience are there experiencing it in real time with you and it's just, it's, it's not like anything else and I really really missed that.

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And this band dissolved for some reason I don't know why we just got tired and people had kids and it just felt you know it just sort of everyone drifted apart but, and it wasn't going to satisfy me ultimately because it wasn't my own, it wasn't my own music.

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Right in like and sometimes I felt like a weirdo up there playing like why am I playing this like base to this like up tempo flamenco song with this like beautiful songstress singing in Spanish I didn't even know what the fuck she's saying like this in a way this doesn't, this isn't

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me. You know I want to do supervillain music but anyway, so that's that's that. And now, and now I'm finding myself just like put in all my efforts to trying to fucking wrap up this fucking process and do all the other things and then the other thing on the

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table, which I've been working on and I feel very called towards is porno. You know, I've been anybody knows me has been, you know that I'm a highly sexualized person.

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And you know the backstory about my mom's tit clamp business and just how I grew up in New York in the 70s and 80s going to the porn theaters and it just like completely consumed by the porn culture. All my life, it's just been adjacent and just calls to me for a

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number of reasons. And now because of things like only fans and other websites like make love not porn which I'm really interested in which talk about. And like all there's like a whole art porn scene here in New York that's embraced me.

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And it's just something I really want to explore. There is a potential to make money off of it. And I also just feel like for my own self healing I feel like there's like a whole wellness aspect. We interrupt this broadcast of toys on top to bring you this.

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Meanwhile, the galaxy of bootleg treasures.

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Do we have a crash land on DKE to implant.

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Wait, salvation.

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We'll save the deal.

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Limited edition custom artist made action figures and DKE toys.

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Check out www.DKEtoys.com for a full catalog.

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The name for custom action figures.

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DKE.

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To sex and sexual exploration and putting it out in public, you know, not just trying to crank out mainstream porn for the porn machine I'm never going to do that but like, I can come up with my own little quirky take on it.

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And like I think I can easily do whatever I did for the toy business I could also do for the porn business. Nice. And so, those are the things I'm really interested in I want to go back on TV I want to get a reality show.

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My fantasy show is like the Anthony Bourdain of toys, like a travel show. We're going around the world and interfacing and interacting with other like minded and individuals which there are many, and I got connections all over the world fucking

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Africa, Iran, South America, Asia, all people that are like dabbling in this world that I could that would welcome me into their spaces and let me access their pop culture so instead of going to these places and eating food with people we'd be like buying

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toys and making toys and creating art and doing, you know, doing, doing Star Wars shit. And that would be a fantasy come true. Getting the porn shit slotted, getting the stuff in the art galleries, making records and performing music.

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Are the things I'm going to focus on. And then in the background I'm also writing a science fiction book or a series of books that is designed to be a TV show. My ultimate goal in life before I die is to be able to make like a Game of Thrones scale show about

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the secondary world that I created. So it's imagine if you just took Toylords of Chinatown and gave and and gave it in infinite budget.

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And, and I can just let my imagination run free.

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And I can get that to get that made. Then I'll die happy. I don't need to have kids I don't need to get married but if I can do that, then I'll be satisfied, and those are the goals that I have.

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And that's why I'm putting a lot of effort into like taking care of myself. Yeah, so I have a couple questions that come up. One back to the porn thing, as far as being in that world.

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Do you want to do all of like act produce edit direct all of it. Yeah. Okay. And then I'm interested, because the life

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in in like previous episodes the life that toys have given you, and the life that you, they're the light that seemed to develop in you because you had them from a young age and growing up and then producing something happened along the way.

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And it seemed like that light has grown dim, and you want to pursue other things. Now is that because something has happened, or because you've conquered that and you want to move on. Like is there, what does that look like for you.

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Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, mostly because I've conquered it or at least I've conquered it and it's in this incarnation like I never expected it to go this way.

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When I wanted to started making bootleg figures.

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It was really just, it was a stopgap measure, you know, it's like I can't get somebody to produce my toys, based on just my ideas and my little drawings.

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So let me just like make shit for a little while, just to show people that I'm viable, and then someone will give me a see that and give me a deal.

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And it never happened and then bootleg toys became a thing unto itself. And it was highly rewarding for a very long time but, but, you know, I've been doing it for 16 years now.

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And it hasn't changed much at all I mean it's changed on the periphery and I've like morphed it and pushed it into every possible direction I can think of but you know I have run it's run its course and also it's.

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When your creativity becomes your job.

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Something happens, and it changes. And I just don't want to do it. I don't want to not toys are always going to be part of my life. I just don't want to have to hand make them out of resin and silicone molds and use and have that be my income like I would be happy to finally

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get to the point where I can have a real toy company and make real shit. I have tons of ideas for things I would like to make as action figures where I could just conceptualize it and then it gets made in a factory that I would totally do.

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And maybe that's happening in some capacity. Now, maybe, or the opportunities to do that exist. And some point down the line, where I'm not worried so much about my income and maybe I don't have to maintain a fucking art studio, and I have a little more freedom,

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and maybe get some seek out some venture capital, you know to start a different type of project, you know because I have all the resources I need to make, make whatever I want. It's just really about the funding and, you know, the administrative aspects of it but I think

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there are certain things that I would, that the world that should exist in the world, and that somebody has to make them. And I see Super 7 I think Super 7 is doing amazing shit with the reaction figures.

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I'd like to think that I maybe have had a bit of a hand influencing that market, maybe, but like just they're doing some really fun shit, but they're, they're leaving a lot on the table in my opinion, like, like they're definitely dealing with them like a sort of limited

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universe you know where it's like the sort of like heavy metal hip hop, a little bit of sports and like all the pop trash nostalgia that we like and there's so many other subjects in the world that I feel would make interesting action figures and deserve to be action figures.

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And I would like to take it upon myself to make those things, you know, I don't think there's nearly enough queer toys in the world. I don't think there's enough black toys in the world, I don't think the, the art history has been represented properly.

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I mean, you know, even politics and things of that nature. I mean, somebody's got to make a figure of Marsha P Johnson, somebody's got to make a James Baldwin action figure you know somebody's got to make a son rat toy and like all these things should exist

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and I would like to be able to do something like that. I also kind of have an interest in like fashion, fashion dolls or fashion action figures I feel like there really hasn't truly been like a good hybrid between like Bratz dolls and the micronauts, you know, I

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think there's so much shit that could be done. And these are things that I can't do with the tools that I have now so I want to do them at some point, and, you know, and I'll get there eventually, like I said I'm still in the trench.

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I'm still I'm still like the toy lord of Chinatown. And when that's finished. I hope to be in a place where more options are ahead for me.

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Yeah, when you said that when your creativity or the things that you're creative about become your job something changes.

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Yeah, creative about a lot. Do you fear that that's going to carry over into the next ventures that it's once it becomes your job.

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It loses its luster.

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Well, yes and no but I mean I think.

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I mean, it's, it's a mixed bag because on one hand it's, it's great to get paid for something you're passionate about. And that's something you would be doing for free anyway, just because you want to.

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And it's, it's, it's really awesome to do that when you hit that sweet spot because for a long long time I was loving every minute of this. It's only after a long time when you feel like you did the fun part, and maybe you're satisfied but then you have to keep going because

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you're dependent on it for money. That's when it gets lame, but it's like, again, that's like it's really just the money shit, and I think that's that's a whole other deep well of of of psychic questing that's required because I really think money and prosperity

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is is ultimately a spiritual manifestation. And it's like, it really doesn't matter so much about like what you do in the world to make money like I think money is a vibration and like success and wealth.

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Like true wealth, not material success but like wealth, and just being able to be comfortable. It's a vibration, and it's like, I come from like blue collar background, you know where, you know, you just learn the scarcity of money, and you, and it becomes

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part of your worldview and it becomes part of your psyche and it becomes part of your own self image and that's always something I've always struggled with, you know, and I think I've struggled with it just because it was so prominent in my mind and in a lot of ways.

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It's the sort of final boss in in the challenges of my life like I thought women were going to be the hard part. And that was very very hard for me for a very very long time and I'm finally finally in my early 50s like getting, getting what I want.

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And there were years of frustrations and struggles it was just so daunting. I was so scared and I couldn't make any and now finally that's relaxed and now I'm stepping into a whole other world of sex and women and love and affection, you know, as a whole person,

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you know that's practicing polyamory. And if that can be fixed, if that if I can grow there then the money part of me can also grow. You know there's so many fears and blocks and resistances that have to be dealt with and I think those are the things that have just sort of

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cemented me in this place right now where I feel stuck and I feel like I have to do this and this is the only thing I can do and it's never enough and I'm always going just up to the line.

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You know it's like that fever is going to break eventually, and some evolution will happen and some breakthrough and just a series of breakthroughs where my prosperity just comes easier to me because on paper I should be a millionaire already because I have so many fucking

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talents and I'm so good at everything.

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You know, just to be not to boast but it just seems objectively observable that I have as many talents as any on any other successful person I could point to in the world.

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And I can't. So I have to conclude that it's not lack of talent or drive or ambition that's holding me back financially it's just my fucking psychic weight, you know, just my karma that I haven't worked out yet so, you know, I do that stuff,

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you know, I do a lot of shadow work, and I take a micro dose psilocybin. Once a year I do every summer I do like a two month micro dosing thing and I go to therapy, and I do a lot of sleeping and a lot of dream work may maybe it all sounds corny.

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You know, I look at astrology, and, and I really put a lot of effort into like unspooling my psyche and my consciousness and trying to really weed out the knots and the blockages and the and the and the and the misconceptions and the limiting beliefs

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and there are so many of them. Yeah, but, but they're there. And fortunately, I am able to work them out with my toys. I'm really lucky like I'm not knocking any of this shit I'm thankful that if like I'm stuck to making bootleg figures about my mental problems

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is my drudgery, then I'm pretty fucking lucky, you know, like that's the worst thing that I have to do is like make action figures about about myself and sell them then.

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Then I'm doing pretty good like I just started going back to doing these live auctions. And like I just made a slew of figures, and was great because I just made these figures just based on whatever I was thinking about that week, you know mercury retrograde.

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I did the beta test of my pop shop live store. And I started this self help series, you know, thinking like why don't I like I had a, I had a little bit of a romantic disappointment last week, and I got, I got a little over extended emotionally and

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I had this thing somewhere I shouldn't have. And I needed to process that and walk it back to protect my ego and for, you know, not spiral out. And I was fortunate to find that I had already cultivated a lot of tools to do that.

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So I was like, why don't I just write these the fuck down and put that on the back of an action figure, and then just sell that and you know, and it's sold so it was just like that's kind of, kind of an interesting

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thing to do, because I'm find I'm pretty good at being entrepreneurial, even though I don't make a lot of money of it I'm very good at taking my life and commodifying it into something that people want to buy.

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And I think that is something I think there's a lot more potential there and I think that's why the porn could work out pretty good because, you know, I'm not trying to make dumb, just regular ass porn I'm trying to make it as a means of like growth and

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discovery and I also think there's a lot of things that like men don't know, or haven't learned and just about how their own bodies work and how women's bodies work and just like how to communicate and how to, you know how to last longer in bed and like,

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how to, how to, you know tantric shit. And there's like, and there's like a lot of stuff there that I think could be made into products that people would pay for.

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As you talked about psilocybin and trying to figure out and undo these knots and things. Have you thought of taking it a step further with the possibility of like ayahuasca or DMT.

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Yeah, I mean yes and no, I mean I've, I've been tripping on LSD since I was 15. I've never tried ayahuasca I have done DMT a few times. And it's amazing and I like it. But I also feel like

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it's a little much.

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Okay, you know, it's like,

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the last time I took LSD was like two years ago like right before the pandemic started. And I didn't have a good trip at all. It was just like I had done so much work. The way I think of this like I've done so much work on myself and have built

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myself back together after being smashed to bits that I don't want to take my head apart again like that. You know if I take too much site if I take DMT I become depersonalized and then I got to like assemble myself again after that and it's like I feel like

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I've already looked down that abyss, you know, or that tunnel or that whatever I've seen the infinite, you know, or the face of God or whatever the fuck it is you're seeing when you're on DMT I don't need to be reminded of it so intensely over and over again I feel

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like I get it. And then like the, the, the, the micro dosing is great because it doesn't. It just keeps that vibration going in the background. Like when I when I micro dose.

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I feel the way I feel if I tripped like two days ago, you know where like, because for me when I would take acid.

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The come down was always my favorite part, you know, because like you know peek out you see all the visuals all the hallucinations be crazy. But then when you're like coming back to yourself and you can talk and you can you're but you're still in that space

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where your mind is expanding and you know you have the third eye open but you can communicate what you're experiencing to people and you know like you can have yourself composed and then by the time you get to the next day there's just this sweet spot, you know, where you're

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still high, and you're still in that place where you know you're that elevated state, but you're functioning and moving in the actual world you're not incapacitated laying on your back, you know watching the fucking walls breathing.

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And then when you think about the micro doses it just keeps that one little door open that that you know keeps my brain fluid and plastic enough that I can move things around in it and you know sort of this an author authoritarian ego self is this sort of like goes away.

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You know, like because most of the time when I'm in my worldly mind. There's this central processor in the middle of my brain, where every thought and every impulse and every idea and every desire has to be like judged evaluated categories and categorized

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and valued and and comprehended and you know and approved and like it's annoying it's tyrannical and and when when I'm micro dosing that part of my brain goes away and then just like the different other parts of my brain can talk to each other without some middleman

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and they're, you know, having to impose some itself on it. And that's what I like about it. So, you know, I did some sex therapy last last summer that involved micro dosing I did some gross selfish fuck boy shit.

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And I heard somebody that I cared about. And I, you know, I was disappointed to find that in my 50s I'm still quite capable of being like a fucking stupid, you know, sex obsessed idiot that can't keep his dick in his pants and can't say no, you know, when it's best to say no.

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So I signed up for this four week, you know, coaching program with this woman. And it involved micro dosing like she would give these exercises every day, and you would have to go into the shadow space and ask yourself questions and journaling and all this stuff

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and it was really quite conducive. I mean, I'm still not completely healed of my fuck poisons but I think I'm getting better. You know, I just really learned a lot about what, you know, being a man is in like 21st century America and there's so much shit we don't learn,

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we're not encouraged to learn and being a white straight, heterosexual young man, you get away with so much shit and you never get held to account for things the way other people do.

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And the only accounting comes is when you do something hurtful to somebody, and then you, and then you feel bad about that and it's like, I don't want to be that way.

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You know, some people are quite content being bad people and partially envious of them. And I really, it's sometimes hard to square the sort of super villain side of myself with this other side of myself, you know that wants to do good and, but, you know, it's there, I mean really,

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people still take it at face value I tell people I'm a super villain. And they're like, okay yeah super villain suck lord, and like, I can't think of any, any villainy I've ever done, other than just like asserted myself, which, you know, in a way is is is is a sort of act of sabotage

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because you're not supposed to, you're not supposed to be an individual in this culture you're supposed to be a good worker. And, you know, there isn't a lot of room, you know, you're not supposed to stand up for yourself you're not supposed to put yourself first.

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You know, I always think that there's like different types of supervillains and even though I have the Green Goblin tattooed here. Yeah, I love I love the Green Goblin for his aesthetic, but that's not really the type of super villain I am because he's more about chaos and revenge and

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just like, he doesn't really have an agenda I'm more like Dr. Doom, you know, like a law and order type of super villain the type of super villain who's like benevolent and isn't necessarily hurting isn't a sadist and isn't hurting people for the joy of hurting people,

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he will hurt people if he has to, but he has a higher agenda and he's like, basically, I know better.

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I know better than all of you and just do what I say, and the world will be a better place and if you're not going to do what I say voluntarily I'm going to make you do. And I feel like I resonate more to that because I really think I have figured some things out.

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And there are things.

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People just did it my way.

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Everything would be better like I walk down the street sometimes and if I was like, a little more evil if I was like the Punisher. I would be walking around with a taser, and I would be because I mean I can't stop real crime but it's like, it's the slow level shit

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that pisses me off like I hate littering. I hate when people litter, and it's not because of the thing itself on the ground like okay you opened up your pack of cigarettes, and you threw the cellophane on the floor on the ground instead of putting it in the trash

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it's not the piece of cellophane on the ground that offends me. It's the selfishness and the lack of regard for people around you, you know that pisses me off and you should be tasered for that.

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In my opinion, you know it's just like I don't understand I hate people that just don't believe in just civic order, and just like, respecting your people neighbors respecting people next to you, respecting the environment that you have that you live in, and just like,

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you know, I hate the oblivious selfishness of this world, and I feel like tasing people when I see it in action.

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So, but I'm not going to do that but in my fantasy world, I would. And, you know, when when my science fiction stories come to fruition, like there'll be room in there for me to like explore the darker parts of myself in the characters that I create.

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So, as you move as the, the death and rebirth style. You are moving towards these other ventures.

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Does that, like, with that you have to lay things to rest.

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And you have to, like, kill things.

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It's funny you mentioned that. Yeah, I mean, so I want to explore what what you will be laying to rest, but also does that include suck Lord, as like as a character.

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I'm

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going to have to watch the finale of toilets of Chinatown to finally get that answer because I have conceived it and written it, I'm not going to reveal it but I think you could probably suss out what happens.

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I will say that whatever happened like the two main characters in toilets of Chinatown are the suck Lord and vector, the intolerable and they're both played by me.

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They're both aspects of myself. And you've seen it's a trope you've seen this in all kinds of movies like Fight Club is a perfect example. But most of the time when you see these split personality movies.

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It's like the person's good side in their shadow side, you know, contending for dominance but in toy lords.

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And they're both just different aspects of my bad self, you know, like the suck Lord is the Megawomaniac and vectors the Miz and throw. And the end the way, whatever happens at the end of that story both those characters are going to be permanently

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transformed in some way. And so I don't know if anyone is going to die, per se, and also we're dealing with metaphor here so but something is going to be transformed or there's going to be some sort of integration, or some sort of alteration where

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they're not split, at least, you know where like there's an integration there, and that I will probably continue to use the name suck Lord, although it does prove to have liabilities in some ways there could be another name waiting for me in the future

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that I don't know about I'm never going to go back to calling myself Morgan Phillips, you know, I just don't resonate to that name at all.

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And, um, and I don't know I might have a new name I don't know and I might not necessarily use the silver Mandalorian helmet as my icon you know you see this thing up here.

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Yeah, I might move past that. I might move past reference using Star Wars as a crutch, you know, I will finally as Jerry sauce ordered stop the Star Wars I'm always going to be a Star Wars fan, and I'm the doors always open to the possibility

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of doing a real Star Wars project, but like as far as like leading my work and my creativity with riffing on Star Wars know that that that can't continue. I mean that's what the whole impulse of original villains was is to like, take this primordial soup of all the

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different things that I've been interested in, you know all the Star Wars all the pop culture references all the various, you know, things that I've thrown into this big fucking pot that's become my become psychedelic.

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And eventually that crystallizes your like the water cooks off, you know, and then suddenly there's a solid thing there that's all blended, and it's not chunks it's like this sort of new essence that's been distilled down into something different that can be deployed differently

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and deployed in a different way. I mean in a lot of ways I'm thankful that I haven't had a greater success doing what I'm doing because if I did I would stay here. You know the fact that it's kind of not working is motivates me to push.

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If I wasn't comfortable here then I then I would stagnate and none of these other things that need to be done would be done. Like I've been put here and I've been given these passions for a reason, but they're there, and they have to be fulfilled it's like it your life

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and you can't waste it if you don't at least attempt to fulfill what's unique about you. And, you know, and make it manifest, I think, so something's going to happen, something's there's going to be some sort of, it's going to be different, it's going to be a different

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thing. And does that frequency have a new name. Maybe, maybe not. I worry sometimes suck word is a tough, it's a tough sell sometimes like I worry like, you know, when I'm pitching TV shows and stuff like that.

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I worry like, am I going to lose this gig because I've made porn.

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You know, that's like a consideration, you know, am I am I gonna am I like us that that's the one thing that makes me nervous about the porn is that because I know a lot of porn actors, porn performers sex workers, and they're kind of shut out from other

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aspects of civic life you know because like you can't be a teacher. If you've made porn, you can't run for office successful I mean it happens sometimes and I think these norms are changing.

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There's liability there I don't want to be like, okay, hey, there's a possibility that, you know, you might get to act in an episode of man DeLorean or you might get to direct an episode of a Star Wars show somewhere down the future you know these things are

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possible and be like, oh, wait a minute you have an only fans forget it, you fired. Yeah, you know, so I worry about that stuff. But, you know, I just feel like in a lot of ways that's part of my mission in doing the adult stuff.

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As that is like, there's a lot of societal norms that have to change, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the assent of the evangelical Christian fascist right is extremely disturbing.

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Disturbing and what's happening now with Roe v. Wade and all that stuff. That's all anti sex anti woman shit

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It's all patriarchal bullshit and it has to be contested

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like I feel like that's

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Ultimately where my real activism is gonna lie like I've dabbled

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you know, I went out and marched for Black Lives Matter and I've when did you know activism here in Chinatown and

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anti anti gentrification and anti Asian hate stuff and like all those things are important, but

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Those fights are not my fights, you know, I can only just lend my voice and amplify other people's voices

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but with that when it comes to the porn shit and the sexual liberation shit that is my fight and

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I feel like

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You know the world needs a 21st century like Larry Flint

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Type, you know like a woke Larry Flint, you know to take on some of this shit

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And it's like the fucking the anti sex crusaders have really really achieved a lot, you know

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they've insinuated themselves into

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The banking system and that's what and that's why so many sex workers

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Can't use it, you know so many they almost shut down only fans

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From making putting porn on there, which is their bread and butter not because only fans had a problem with it

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Because like the credit card companies didn't want to process the the trip the process the money

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process the transactions because of their fucking puritanical morality and it's like

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These and and the pro sex lobby has no such

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Influence and that needs to change like I'm not gonna run for office, but

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There needs to be a lobbying group, you know and how people running on office that are

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Vocal advocates for decriminalizing sex work, you know, you're starting to see these things happen

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Now John Oliver did this great bit a couple months ago about

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About sex work and just the absurdity of our sex laws here in America

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And I just feel like these are important things that need to be addressed

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Yeah, and we'll see how it goes you know along those lines it's

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It's it I don't know. I don't like it's the worst thing in the world to see that

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There's a lot of these churches that are rising up and like they're vocal. They're loud

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they have a following and they're saying shit that is

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Out of this world and because they're the loudest ones

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They're heard the most and even when people speak out against them

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They're like using bits and clips of their videos and it's like stop it like you're just making it worse

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And this whole like at some point

285
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,800
These churches even they need to be silenced

286
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:52,000
Like taxed heavily like something needs to happen because it they shouldn't be involved in politics

287
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,560
Because I'm I know

288
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:58,560
It's it's terrible. It's fucking terrible and evil and destructive and yeah, I don't know about

289
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:05,440
How to silence them, you know, I mean, I just think the probably the better thing to do is just

290
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,600
Have a louder countervailing voice. Yeah

291
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,840
You know and I feel like that's that's the only thing I can do. It's like

292
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:15,840
but

293
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,360
It can't go on like this. They're currently winning and

294
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:23,360
It can't go on so looking over

295
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,760
There's much work to be done. Yeah

296
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:28,560
looking over

297
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,440
Where you've come from

298
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:38,320
Looking over all the stuff that you've done with toys and looking over the bootlegs and

299
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:44,720
Looking over the disheartening parts of the toy industry looking over where you're heading

300
00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:53,600
What if you had to give this whole thing a prevailing theme because what it's tough because we're

301
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:59,520
So much of your life if we look over the episodes, it seems like because people told, you know

302
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:05,200
You said fuck that i'm going to do it anyways and you pushed forward and you kept pushing forward

303
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,520
And now you're moving into other areas where they're pushing forward

304
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:17,040
And you're going to keep pushing forward because you're strong enough to do that. What's this prevailing theme that is over all of it? Would you say

305
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,480
I would say it's something akin to just like

306
00:51:22,240 --> 00:51:25,680
Self-actualization. Okay, really just like

307
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,240
The the discovery of the inner self and the inner life

308
00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:40,240
And just the the the inner life becoming the outer life, you know, like that's when I was you know, when i'm walking around in that suck lord

309
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:46,800
Outfit or the vector outfit. I'm not wearing a costume. You know, that's an avatar of

310
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:49,520
Of one of of of my

311
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,240
Of one of my mental states, you know

312
00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:58,320
Like i'm bringing forth something that's inside of me that's inside of me that's inside of me that's inside of me that's inside of me

313
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:02,480
My mental states, you know, like i'm bringing forth something that's inside of my

314
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:08,240
My imaginary world into the real world, you know, like i'm actually that person

315
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:14,480
You know, like i'm actually like i'm not pretending i'm something, you know, I am that and it's like

316
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:18,880
Every person is given

317
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:25,200
Something about them that's unique and different maybe I don't know what other people's inner lives are

318
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,240
Some people tell me and it sounds dismal and boring but

319
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:35,920
And it's about making that manifest about unfolding yourself, you know, like a person is like an infinite

320
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:43,360
Like lotus flower, you know that just every time unfolds and then there's more and there's more and there's more

321
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:48,800
and you know, there's another layer and another layer and another layer inside and I just feel like

322
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:53,520
The theme or the purpose of my life has been giving myself and putting myself

323
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:58,560
In an environment in a space where that can happen to its maximum

324
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:03,520
And I think that's the purpose of life is to find out who you are

325
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,840
And then be that person and it's an ongoing thing because you're infinite

326
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:11,280
But it's just like to to live your truest highest self

327
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,800
In whatever that means to you and that's your life's work

328
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:20,480
You know that you are your project you are your work. Your life is your artwork. You are the work

329
00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:26,560
Everything else is just a byproduct of that the things you make the things you sell the little bits of plastic floating around

330
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,520
In the world those aren't that's not the work

331
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:31,280
the

332
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:35,840
The manifestation of the spirit is the work and that's just something that fell off

333
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,480
Yeah, you know while it was happening

334
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:40,000
and

335
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:41,440
You know, I think

336
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:44,960
Anybody could do this, you know, I mean maybe I got an extra

337
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:48,400
Plate of stuff, you know to deal with I mean

338
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:53,600
One of the things that's worked against me and people have always told me you can't do all of these things

339
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:58,800
You can't be an artist and a musician and an actor and you know, dotty dotter writer. You can't pick one

340
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,280
And I couldn't you know, I mean I have to maybe do them one at a time

341
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:07,520
But like I can't just pick one and there's I sometimes i'm envious of people

342
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:13,520
That just have this singular passion and they can pursue it to mastery and they're not distracted by any other

343
00:54:14,240 --> 00:54:21,520
Interests and i'm jealous of people like that in a way, but that's not me. So I I have to contend with good or bad

344
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:26,880
The possibility that I may never actually get to the end of this before I die

345
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:29,360
but

346
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,360
I can't not pursue it

347
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,920
I can't not attempt it to do so with the

348
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,720
Would be death and

349
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,520
I'm not going to do that and I think

350
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:44,160
If I leave anything behind in this world, I don't give a shit about the work itself

351
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:49,360
It is what it is. But if somebody can look to me and see an example

352
00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:52,240
Of what's possible

353
00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:54,240
for a creative person to do

354
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,040
When they follow my supervillain formula

355
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,320
That's the only way I can do it

356
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,320
Then that would be an achievement. I think

357
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:10,400
You know, I think that would be an achievement. I mean people already say that I feel like i've already done that I look at like

358
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:12,640
a lot of the bootleg guys

359
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,440
You know that have taken to this art form

360
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,520
and a lot of them

361
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:23,840
For some reason it seems to attract the broken people more so than other other parts of the toy world

362
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:25,840
and

363
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:26,640
uh

364
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,160
I've just seen a lot of people

365
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:32,560
get healed because of it people that had addiction problems or

366
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:37,200
suffer from depression or self-esteem or whatever

367
00:55:38,240 --> 00:55:41,440
Started making bootleg figures and found themselves in it

368
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:47,120
And it gave them something to do and a purpose and a means of expression that other forms

369
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:53,680
Didn't offer them. Maybe that's I don't know if that's just the nature of the material or maybe it's because of the veneer

370
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:55,440
that I

371
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:56,960
subscribed to

372
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,320
Subscribed to it because I wasn't just like hi

373
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,680
I'm making little resin figures beef. Look at me

374
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:10,400
I added that angst to it that man against the world in his laboratory, you know, you know

375
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:17,520
The the deranged madman with a vision, you know in his basements conspiring to do something that nobody understands

376
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,640
You know and and winning, you know like that

377
00:56:21,740 --> 00:56:23,440
attitude

378
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:28,240
That has been infused into this particular medium. I think is attractive to people

379
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:30,800
that are damaged and

380
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:36,160
Or incomplete in some way and it just gives them it's the freedom to do this

381
00:56:36,720 --> 00:56:42,880
You know, and you don't need anybody else to do it. You can really be like a one man show one woman show one person show

382
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,960
And do this so I feel like in a way i've already given that you're welcome

383
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:53,120
Um, and you know if I can continue that and if I can elevate make that even more known to the world

384
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:57,680
You know through porn and television tv movies and all that shit

385
00:56:58,240 --> 00:57:03,040
That would be great. That would be fucking great. And as long as i'm getting my dick sucked and getting paid

386
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:11,840
What's interesting is um, even in the short amount of time that i've been in the scene i've seen a change in you

387
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,520
Me well, we did that interview when was that during the pandemic?

388
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:21,600
Yeah, and like my first interactions. I just I was a dick. Sorry about that. No, no, no, I

389
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,880
I you know

390
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:26,640
it becomes

391
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:30,560
Because you're one of the the first names that comes up right when you enter the scene

392
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:37,280
Am I yeah, absolutely to think that you wouldn't be and even like a quick google search

393
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:40,800
You can go back on like rebel scum and find your name

394
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:45,280
way back 2005 2004 whatever and so

395
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:48,720
to see and to hear that and to hear

396
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,000
When people will say things like

397
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:55,120
Um

398
00:57:55,120 --> 00:58:03,040
I like oh he like he's a little rough or like oh he like this is the guy but don't you might not want to interact it's like

399
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:07,840
That i'm enticed by that like I want to go to that. Why is that and then

400
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:11,040
having our first interview and you like

401
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:17,840
It was my one of my favorite things that I still it's written on a post-it note on my desk. It's like when I

402
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:22,000
Said oh you asked the point of this podcast and I said, oh it's to get

403
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:25,360
Like more artists out there and the toys seem to grow and stuff

404
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:32,480
And you like leaned into the camera you said and they're gonna get that from your podcast and I like I was like

405
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:35,120
Maybe I hope

406
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:40,640
I hope and then pushing for that and then now having this where we go through

407
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,440
Five episodes of who you are

408
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,960
And really getting to understand who you are at the depth

409
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:54,240
Seeing your soft sides seeing the armor and the breakage and some of it and seeing how you're trying to change and like

410
00:58:55,020 --> 00:58:57,040
redevelop things

411
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:00,960
It's been one of my favorite things because you are not the person

412
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:04,080
That I remember hearing about

413
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:10,640
You are a different person that I've seen either grow or I've gotten to know or whatever

414
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:16,240
But it's been one of my favorite things. I appreciate that. I mean, that's what I don't know if the siren adds to the atmosphere

415
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,240
Yeah

416
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:23,600
I mean, I guess that's one of the things that makes it fun. Yeah, you know, it's like

417
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:31,280
If if if this is entertainment, right? Yeah, like it's kind of more fun to have like that external

418
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:34,320
Challenge, you know, and then if you're willing to

419
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:36,640
Take it on

420
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:41,040
You discover that there's something more and rich beyond it that

421
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:45,520
It's just more fun that way, you know, it's like it's makes it

422
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:50,640
There's a challenge to it. And I just think I don't I don't know if that's by design or whatever

423
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:57,280
But it seems it just seems to be the case with me if you look at all of the four tv shows

424
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:03,680
The reality shows that I've been on it's always the same thing from the fucking even that like seven minute segment on the dating game

425
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:10,240
To fucking six episodes of work of art to like even that can't get a date and even gallery girls

426
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:14,880
It's like here's this fucking prickly asshole who I don't know what to make of

427
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,480
And I think it's funny as a novelty act

428
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,600
I'm not sure. I don't know if I like this person or not

429
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,240
And then something happened

430
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:30,880
and then you see that there's a person behind it and then you see this like really a person behind it and it's like

431
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:38,000
To me, that's more fun than just like I don't think I would engage people would be as engaged with me if I led with my sensitive side

432
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,440
Right, you know, I think having to go through the magnetic field

433
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,080
of of the suck lord

434
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:49,040
Makes it more fun. And that's how I think that's just how people are

435
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:54,080
You know, we all have this external self thing is people don't know this

436
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:56,640
They they don't know how to play the instrument that they've been given. You know, you have a personality you have a face you have

437
01:00:57,200 --> 01:01:01,600
You know an ego, you know a person a persona, you know

438
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:06,400
And you can use that to great effect to like get around in this fucking rat maze that we live in

439
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,320
And carrying inside of it is the good shit and

440
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:13,440
sometimes people lose their mind and they don't know what they're doing

441
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:22,560
and carrying inside of it is the good shit and sometimes people lose the good shit because they don't protect it or they put it out and

442
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,360
Or they don't understand how to compartmentalize themselves

443
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:28,000
and

444
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:33,040
I just think that you know, I was always this person like even when we did that first interview

445
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,120
Maybe I just didn't let it all out all at once

446
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:36,720
You know, and I was maybe I was in a mood

447
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:41,760
I don't remember when we did it and I wanted to fuck with you a little bit just because you think you needed it

448
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:46,240
To be honest with you. It's like I was I don't like you know, it's like sometimes

449
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:53,600
People are so eager to just like butter each other up with that and like it's sometimes you should challenge people and it's like

450
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:58,720
When you interviewed me, I was more famous than you at the time. So it's just like what the fuck?

451
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,760
What am I you know, how how are you getting me out there?

452
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:07,840
You know, but now that you've taken this venture on I mean, this has been great. I really appreciate like

453
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:13,040
like somebody and especially, you know an intelligent person like yourself to

454
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:17,680
Consider that there's enough material here to talk to me for fucking 10 hours

455
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:25,200
And let me tell everything about myself because now you've this podcast has brought me up to this moment in time

456
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:27,040
where the

457
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:32,720
next chapter is beginning like literally tomorrow mercury goes direct and like

458
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:36,400
Everything starts

459
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:40,560
And like i'm glad I was able to get all this on record because I could walk out of the house and get hit by a car

460
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,480
You know, and this is probably the most comprehensive telling of my life

461
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:50,960
In the world, so thanks for doing it, you know, it's given me a lot and now it gives me an opportunity to say

462
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,040
Okay, that's in a that's all

463
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:57,360
Documented now that's in the scrolls. That's in the akashic record. It's all been

464
01:02:57,980 --> 01:03:00,400
Archived and now I don't have to live it anymore

465
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,560
You know now I have a clean slate to do as I will

466
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:11,200
And I can call that part of me resolved and complete and that's why I don't need to keep taking lsd

467
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:16,720
Because I figured it out. I got it done. I'll take lsd in 20 years when I have like

468
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:21,600
A whole other life. I need to fucking figure out because i'm pretty sure from now until whatever

469
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:26,480
I'm going to accumulate a whole bunch of other stuff that probably is going to have to be dealt with in some way

470
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:33,440
So call me in 25 years 25 part two of this. Yeah, my favorite thing is that when a book

471
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:40,240
Does inevitably get started about who you are and your toy journey and all that and just you as an artist in general

472
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:47,680
That like this you have five episodes that kind of break down how the book should be formatted

473
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:50,160
and how the book from rise to

474
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:57,920
Change and rise to metamorphosis needs to be broken down and that's exciting for me that you have an audio book

475
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000
now on toys on tap

476
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:06,640
Thanks for that man. Well, I mean i'm gonna be using this, you know as uh reference material

477
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:12,160
For anyone's interested. Like I said, once the five are up i'm gonna push it and then i'm gonna, you know

478
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:16,720
have that probably just link that on my link tree and just have that be part of my

479
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,440
You know part of the research materials

480
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:31,440
Is going for anybody that gives a fuck

481
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:52,400
New from toys on tap

482
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:56,400
It's great it's amazing you're gonna want to listen to it

483
01:04:56,880 --> 01:05:01,680
It's not right now though. You're gonna have to wait till the next episode to listen to it. Oh, what's that? The next one?

484
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:03,920
Cool toys on tap

485
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:19,920
The next one's gonna be good too. So stay tuned and listen to that