WEBVTT 00:00:00.270 --> 00:00:03.290 Hello everyone and welcome back to the daily 00:00:03.290 --> 00:00:07.410 senior safety advice podcast. This podcast is 00:00:07.410 --> 00:00:10.369 all about helping older adults stay safe and 00:00:10.369 --> 00:00:13.189 independent and confident in their daily lives. 00:00:13.869 --> 00:00:16.769 I'm Esther Kane, a retired occupational therapist, 00:00:16.969 --> 00:00:19.690 certified aging in place specialist and a dementia 00:00:19.690 --> 00:00:23.350 care specialist. If you'd like more helpful tips, 00:00:23.589 --> 00:00:25.730 like the one you're going to hear in this podcast, 00:00:25.949 --> 00:00:29.070 then please visit SeniorSafetyAdvice .com. And 00:00:29.070 --> 00:00:31.850 of course, be sure to subscribe to the podcast 00:00:31.850 --> 00:00:34.789 and to our YouTube channel. And if you find this 00:00:34.789 --> 00:00:37.590 helpful, then please share it with someone who 00:00:37.590 --> 00:00:40.969 you feel may need it. Today, we're going to be 00:00:40.969 --> 00:00:46.369 talking about helping without taking over. How 00:00:46.369 --> 00:00:51.020 family caregivers can support safe movement in 00:00:51.020 --> 00:00:55.380 their senior loved ones with confidence. It's 00:00:55.380 --> 00:00:58.359 something that I've seen so often over the years. 00:00:59.140 --> 00:01:02.820 A family caregiver wants to help but ends up 00:01:02.820 --> 00:01:06.099 doing too much. And it usually, of course, comes 00:01:06.099 --> 00:01:09.099 from a place of love. You see your parent or 00:01:09.099 --> 00:01:11.859 your spouse struggling and your instinct is to 00:01:11.859 --> 00:01:15.439 step in right away. You reach out with your arm, 00:01:15.659 --> 00:01:18.530 you guide them, Sometimes you even do the actual 00:01:18.530 --> 00:01:22.030 task for them. And in that moment, it feels like 00:01:22.030 --> 00:01:26.230 the right thing to do. But here's the quiet truth. 00:01:26.870 --> 00:01:30.370 When we take over too much, we can actually reduce 00:01:30.370 --> 00:01:33.609 a person's strength, confidence, and independence 00:01:33.609 --> 00:01:37.549 over time. I saw this many times in my work as 00:01:37.549 --> 00:01:40.310 an occupational therapist. The people who stayed 00:01:40.310 --> 00:01:42.549 the strongest were not the ones who had everything 00:01:42.549 --> 00:01:45.420 done for them. They were the ones who were gently 00:01:45.420 --> 00:01:48.959 supported, but still allowed to move, try and 00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:52.239 succeed on their own. It's honestly one of the 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:54.819 most difficult things to learn as an occupational 00:01:54.819 --> 00:01:58.280 therapist when you're working with others. You 00:01:58.280 --> 00:02:00.819 want to help them, you want to do things for 00:02:00.819 --> 00:02:04.540 them, but you need to learn to step back and 00:02:04.540 --> 00:02:07.200 let them build their strength and their confidence 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:11.020 and of course their independence. So how do we 00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:14.219 find that balance? Well, let's start by understanding 00:02:14.219 --> 00:02:17.960 the actual goal. The goal is not perfect movement. 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:21.539 The goal is safe movement with as much independence 00:02:21.539 --> 00:02:25.259 as possible. Now that means allowing a little 00:02:25.259 --> 00:02:28.919 extra time. It means accepting that things may 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:32.319 not look smooth or fast. And it means trusting 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:35.159 that effort matters just as much as outcome. 00:02:35.900 --> 00:02:40.060 Now, one of the simplest ways to support safe 00:02:40.060 --> 00:02:44.139 movement is by giving space. Instead of standing 00:02:44.139 --> 00:02:47.400 right in front of someone, try standing beside 00:02:47.400 --> 00:02:50.280 them. Instead of holding onto them right away, 00:02:50.939 --> 00:02:54.020 stay close and ready. Of course, all of this 00:02:54.020 --> 00:02:56.860 depends on the mobility issues that they may 00:02:56.860 --> 00:03:00.460 have. First and foremost, you absolutely want 00:03:00.460 --> 00:03:03.560 them to be safe. So I would recommend to speak 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:08.020 with a physical therapist and see the right way 00:03:08.020 --> 00:03:11.580 to manage a mobility issue with your senior loved 00:03:11.580 --> 00:03:16.240 one. Okay, now all of this stepping back creates 00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:19.800 what I like to call a safety presence. You're 00:03:19.800 --> 00:03:22.879 there if needed, but you're not taking control. 00:03:23.550 --> 00:03:26.250 I remember working with a gentleman who was learning 00:03:26.250 --> 00:03:29.250 to stand up from his chair again after a fall. 00:03:29.830 --> 00:03:32.389 His daughter would rush in and lift him every 00:03:32.389 --> 00:03:36.050 time. She honestly thought she was helping. But 00:03:36.050 --> 00:03:39.210 when we gave him a little space, something changed. 00:03:39.349 --> 00:03:42.129 He leaned forward, he pushed through his legs, 00:03:42.289 --> 00:03:45.229 and slowly he stood up on his own. The look on 00:03:45.229 --> 00:03:49.689 his face said everything. It wasn't just about 00:03:49.689 --> 00:03:52.409 standing. It was about feeling capable again. 00:03:53.069 --> 00:03:56.110 Another important piece is how we offer help. 00:03:56.129 --> 00:03:58.150 Instead of saying something like, well, let me 00:03:58.150 --> 00:04:01.810 do that, try asking, do you want a little help 00:04:01.810 --> 00:04:05.289 or would you like to try it first? That small 00:04:05.289 --> 00:04:08.689 shift gives the person a sense of control. And 00:04:08.689 --> 00:04:13.509 control is deeply connected to dignity. That's 00:04:13.509 --> 00:04:17.170 one thing I feel strongly about is giving seniors 00:04:17.170 --> 00:04:21.990 dignity. Now, you can also guide with words instead 00:04:21.990 --> 00:04:26.160 of hands. Simple cues like lean forward a bit, 00:04:26.740 --> 00:04:30.540 push up through your legs, take your time. These 00:04:30.540 --> 00:04:33.959 gentle reminders can be incredibly powerful as 00:04:33.959 --> 00:04:36.819 long as you're not using them to nag the person. 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:41.060 These reminders support movement without replacing 00:04:41.060 --> 00:04:46.660 it. And let's talk about safety because of course 00:04:46.660 --> 00:04:50.160 safety, as I said before, always comes first. 00:04:50.779 --> 00:04:54.100 There are times when stepping in quickly is necessary, 00:04:54.199 --> 00:04:57.019 of course. If someone is losing their balance 00:04:57.019 --> 00:05:00.540 or at risk of falling, you act. You need to act, 00:05:00.620 --> 00:05:03.420 and you need to be ready to act. But most of 00:05:03.420 --> 00:05:05.500 the time, what people need is not someone to 00:05:05.500 --> 00:05:08.360 take over. They need someone to be present, patient, 00:05:08.500 --> 00:05:11.759 and prepared. This is where the environment plays 00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:15.560 a big role. If a home is set up properly, movement 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:19.019 becomes safer and easier. Things like sturdy 00:05:19.019 --> 00:05:22.959 chairs with arm rests, clear walkways, good lighting, 00:05:23.620 --> 00:05:27.360 and grab bars in key areas. These small changes 00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:30.860 can make a big difference. When the environment 00:05:30.860 --> 00:05:33.579 supports the person, the caregiver doesn't have 00:05:33.579 --> 00:05:36.819 to step in as much, and that's a win for everyone. 00:05:37.779 --> 00:05:40.279 There's also an emotional side to this that we 00:05:40.279 --> 00:05:42.959 don't always talk about. When someone starts 00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:45.779 to lose their independence, it can feel frustrating, 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.269 even embarrassing. If a caregiver steps in too 00:05:49.269 --> 00:05:52.089 quickly or too often, it can feel like a loss 00:05:52.089 --> 00:05:55.629 of control. But when support is offered gently, 00:05:55.829 --> 00:05:58.610 it sends a different message. It says, hey, I 00:05:58.610 --> 00:06:02.250 believe in you. I'm here if you need me, and 00:06:02.250 --> 00:06:06.069 you've got this. And those messages really matter. 00:06:06.790 --> 00:06:09.949 Over time, this kind of support builds confidence. 00:06:10.189 --> 00:06:12.850 And confidence, of course, leads to more movement. 00:06:12.910 --> 00:06:16.449 And more movement leads to more strength. and 00:06:16.449 --> 00:06:19.329 more strength leads to greater independence. 00:06:19.709 --> 00:06:23.509 Can you see that domino? It becomes a positive 00:06:23.509 --> 00:06:27.189 cycle. Before we wrap up, I want to leave you 00:06:27.189 --> 00:06:30.410 with one simple idea. Next time you're about 00:06:30.410 --> 00:06:33.310 to step in and help, pause for just a moment. 00:06:33.730 --> 00:06:37.470 Ask yourself, is help needed right now or can 00:06:37.470 --> 00:06:41.269 I give them a chance to try? Should I ask them 00:06:41.269 --> 00:06:43.670 if they want to try or should I ask them if they 00:06:43.670 --> 00:06:47.279 need help? That small pause can make a big difference. 00:06:47.779 --> 00:06:50.339 You're still being supportive and you're still 00:06:50.339 --> 00:06:53.459 keeping them safe, but you are also protecting 00:06:53.459 --> 00:06:56.939 something just as important, their independence. 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:01.079 And if you're someone receiving help, remember 00:07:01.079 --> 00:07:04.899 this too, it's okay to take your time. It's okay 00:07:04.899 --> 00:07:08.240 to do things your own way, as long as it's safe. 00:07:09.079 --> 00:07:11.839 Every small effort is a step towards staying 00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:15.620 strong. So today, I encourage you to try this 00:07:15.620 --> 00:07:20.259 approach. Stay close, stay patient, and offer 00:07:20.259 --> 00:07:23.639 help when needed. But give space for movement 00:07:23.639 --> 00:07:26.720 to happen because sometimes the very best help 00:07:26.720 --> 00:07:30.980 is not helping at all. All right, I want to thank 00:07:30.980 --> 00:07:33.480 you so much for spending this time with me today. 00:07:34.100 --> 00:07:36.519 If you'd like more helpful tips and resources, 00:07:36.759 --> 00:07:40.220 then please visit SeniorSafetyAdvice .com. And 00:07:40.220 --> 00:07:42.100 of course, if you're looking for professionals 00:07:42.100 --> 00:07:44.839 who can help you or a loved one to age safely 00:07:44.839 --> 00:07:48.500 at home, be sure to check out AgingInPlaceDirectory 00:07:48.500 --> 00:07:52.160 .com. And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast 00:07:52.160 --> 00:07:54.439 or YouTube channels, wherever you're listening, 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:57.959 so that you never miss an episode. Until next 00:07:57.959 --> 00:08:01.120 time, this is Esther Cain wishing you safety, 00:08:01.579 --> 00:08:03.699 confidence, and peace at home.