Hello everyone and welcome back to the daily
senior safety advice podcast. This podcast is
all about helping older adults stay safe and
independent and confident in their daily lives.
I'm Esther Kane, a retired occupational therapist,
certified aging in place specialist and a dementia
care specialist. If you'd like more helpful tips,
like the one you're going to hear in this podcast,
then please visit SeniorSafetyAdvice .com. And
of course, be sure to subscribe to the podcast
and to our YouTube channel. And if you find this
helpful, then please share it with someone who
you feel may need it. Today, we're going to be
talking about helping without taking over. How
family caregivers can support safe movement in
their senior loved ones with confidence. It's
something that I've seen so often over the years.
A family caregiver wants to help but ends up
doing too much. And it usually, of course, comes
from a place of love. You see your parent or
your spouse struggling and your instinct is to
step in right away. You reach out with your arm,
you guide them, Sometimes you even do the actual
task for them. And in that moment, it feels like
the right thing to do. But here's the quiet truth.
When we take over too much, we can actually reduce
a person's strength, confidence, and independence
over time. I saw this many times in my work as
an occupational therapist. The people who stayed
the strongest were not the ones who had everything
done for them. They were the ones who were gently
supported, but still allowed to move, try and
succeed on their own. It's honestly one of the
most difficult things to learn as an occupational
therapist when you're working with others. You
want to help them, you want to do things for
them, but you need to learn to step back and
let them build their strength and their confidence
and of course their independence. So how do we
find that balance? Well, let's start by understanding
the actual goal. The goal is not perfect movement.
The goal is safe movement with as much independence
as possible. Now that means allowing a little
extra time. It means accepting that things may
not look smooth or fast. And it means trusting
that effort matters just as much as outcome.
Now, one of the simplest ways to support safe
movement is by giving space. Instead of standing
right in front of someone, try standing beside
them. Instead of holding onto them right away,
stay close and ready. Of course, all of this
depends on the mobility issues that they may
have. First and foremost, you absolutely want
them to be safe. So I would recommend to speak
with a physical therapist and see the right way
to manage a mobility issue with your senior loved
one. Okay, now all of this stepping back creates
what I like to call a safety presence. You're
there if needed, but you're not taking control.
I remember working with a gentleman who was learning
to stand up from his chair again after a fall.
His daughter would rush in and lift him every
time. She honestly thought she was helping. But
when we gave him a little space, something changed.
He leaned forward, he pushed through his legs,
and slowly he stood up on his own. The look on
his face said everything. It wasn't just about
standing. It was about feeling capable again.
Another important piece is how we offer help.
Instead of saying something like, well, let me
do that, try asking, do you want a little help
or would you like to try it first? That small
shift gives the person a sense of control. And
control is deeply connected to dignity. That's
one thing I feel strongly about is giving seniors
dignity. Now, you can also guide with words instead
of hands. Simple cues like lean forward a bit,
push up through your legs, take your time. These
gentle reminders can be incredibly powerful as
long as you're not using them to nag the person.
These reminders support movement without replacing
it. And let's talk about safety because of course
safety, as I said before, always comes first.
There are times when stepping in quickly is necessary,
of course. If someone is losing their balance
or at risk of falling, you act. You need to act,
and you need to be ready to act. But most of
the time, what people need is not someone to
take over. They need someone to be present, patient,
and prepared. This is where the environment plays
a big role. If a home is set up properly, movement
becomes safer and easier. Things like sturdy
chairs with arm rests, clear walkways, good lighting,
and grab bars in key areas. These small changes
can make a big difference. When the environment
supports the person, the caregiver doesn't have
to step in as much, and that's a win for everyone.
There's also an emotional side to this that we
don't always talk about. When someone starts
to lose their independence, it can feel frustrating,
even embarrassing. If a caregiver steps in too
quickly or too often, it can feel like a loss
of control. But when support is offered gently,
it sends a different message. It says, hey, I
believe in you. I'm here if you need me, and
you've got this. And those messages really matter.
Over time, this kind of support builds confidence.
And confidence, of course, leads to more movement.
And more movement leads to more strength. and
more strength leads to greater independence.
Can you see that domino? It becomes a positive
cycle. Before we wrap up, I want to leave you
with one simple idea. Next time you're about
to step in and help, pause for just a moment.
Ask yourself, is help needed right now or can
I give them a chance to try? Should I ask them
if they want to try or should I ask them if they
need help? That small pause can make a big difference.
You're still being supportive and you're still
keeping them safe, but you are also protecting
something just as important, their independence.
And if you're someone receiving help, remember
this too, it's okay to take your time. It's okay
to do things your own way, as long as it's safe.
Every small effort is a step towards staying
strong. So today, I encourage you to try this
approach. Stay close, stay patient, and offer
help when needed. But give space for movement
to happen because sometimes the very best help
is not helping at all. All right, I want to thank
you so much for spending this time with me today.
If you'd like more helpful tips and resources,
then please visit SeniorSafetyAdvice .com. And
of course, if you're looking for professionals
who can help you or a loved one to age safely
at home, be sure to check out AgingInPlaceDirectory
.com. And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast
or YouTube channels, wherever you're listening,
so that you never miss an episode. Until next
time, this is Esther Cain wishing you safety,
confidence, and peace at home.