WEBVTT 00:00:02.410 --> 00:00:05.070 Caregiver fatigue doesn't start with a breakdown. 00:00:05.710 --> 00:00:09.210 It starts quietly, with being tired all the time, 00:00:09.470 --> 00:00:12.070 snapping at small things, or feeling numb when 00:00:12.070 --> 00:00:14.769 you know you shouldn't. Today I want to help 00:00:14.769 --> 00:00:17.269 you recognize the warning signs of caregiver 00:00:17.269 --> 00:00:20.449 fatigue before it takes a serious toll on your 00:00:20.449 --> 00:00:23.350 health, your relationships, or your ability to 00:00:23.350 --> 00:00:27.000 keep caring safely. And if we haven't yet, I'm 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.140 Robin Schiltz. I'm a senior home safety specialist, 00:00:30.260 --> 00:00:32.539 and I've spent years working with older adults 00:00:32.539 --> 00:00:35.240 and their families. I've seen what happens when 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:38.119 caregivers push through exhaustion instead of 00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:40.759 listening to it. And I've also seen how much 00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:43.799 better things get when they don't. Here's what 00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:47.799 I mean. Caregiver fatigue is not a weakness. 00:00:48.119 --> 00:00:51.159 It is not failure. And it is not something that 00:00:51.159 --> 00:00:55.159 only happens to other people. Trust me, it happens 00:00:55.159 --> 00:00:59.020 to good caregivers, dedicated caregivers, loving 00:00:59.020 --> 00:01:02.399 caregivers. It happens because caregiving is 00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:06.200 not a short sprint. It is a long emotional marathon. 00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:09.799 And the tricky part is this. Most caregivers 00:01:09.799 --> 00:01:12.719 don't realize what's happening until their body 00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:16.560 or emotions force them to stop. So let's talk 00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:18.980 about the warning signs you really can't ignore. 00:01:19.549 --> 00:01:23.090 One of the first signs we see is constant exhaustion 00:01:23.090 --> 00:01:26.829 that does not go away with rest. Sure, you sleep, 00:01:26.909 --> 00:01:30.170 but you wake up tired. Or you sit down, but you 00:01:30.170 --> 00:01:33.329 don't feel refreshed when you get back up. Even 00:01:33.329 --> 00:01:37.370 small tasks feel heavy. This fatigue isn't about 00:01:37.370 --> 00:01:40.709 just being busy. It's your nervous system staying 00:01:40.709 --> 00:01:44.230 in high alert mode all the time. Your body never 00:01:44.230 --> 00:01:47.450 fully relaxes because part of you is always listening 00:01:47.450 --> 00:01:51.250 for the next problem. Another big warning sign 00:01:51.250 --> 00:01:54.849 is irritability or anger that feels out of character. 00:01:55.670 --> 00:01:58.090 You snap at your loved one, you feel annoyed 00:01:58.090 --> 00:02:01.049 at people who are trying to help, you lose patience 00:02:01.049 --> 00:02:03.650 over things that normally wouldn't bother you, 00:02:03.829 --> 00:02:06.590 and then you feel guilty about it. So I want 00:02:06.590 --> 00:02:10.050 you to hear this clearly. That irritability is 00:02:10.050 --> 00:02:13.129 often exhaustion talking, not your true feelings. 00:02:14.110 --> 00:02:16.990 Another sign caregivers often miss is emotional 00:02:16.990 --> 00:02:20.409 numbness. Maybe you stop feeling much of anything. 00:02:20.789 --> 00:02:23.469 You're simply going through the motions. Yes, 00:02:23.530 --> 00:02:27.050 you handle tasks, but the joy, empathy, or connection 00:02:27.050 --> 00:02:30.689 feels muted. This can be scary, especially if 00:02:30.689 --> 00:02:33.710 you love the person you're caring for. But numbness 00:02:33.710 --> 00:02:37.030 is a common protective response. Your brain is 00:02:37.030 --> 00:02:39.930 trying to conserve energy when it feels overwhelmed. 00:02:41.090 --> 00:02:43.569 Let's talk about some physical symptoms, too, 00:02:43.590 --> 00:02:47.300 because some of these surprise people. Caregiver 00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:49.939 fatigue often shows up as headaches, stomach 00:02:49.939 --> 00:02:53.740 issues, muscle pain, frequent colds, or worsening 00:02:53.740 --> 00:02:57.020 chronic conditions. Stress doesn't stay in your 00:02:57.020 --> 00:03:00.280 head. It settles into your body. If your health 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:03.439 has been quietly declining since caregiving began, 00:03:03.800 --> 00:03:07.479 well that's not a coincidence. Another red flag 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:10.580 is withdrawal from people and activities. You 00:03:10.580 --> 00:03:13.939 stop returning calls, you start canceling plans, 00:03:14.259 --> 00:03:16.939 you tell yourself it's just easier to stay home. 00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:20.539 And sometimes it is easier in the moment. But 00:03:20.539 --> 00:03:24.240 isolation makes fatigue grow faster. Caregiving 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:28.219 was never meant to be done alone. One more sign 00:03:28.219 --> 00:03:30.900 I really want you to notice is feeling trapped 00:03:30.900 --> 00:03:34.370 or resentful. These thoughts often come with 00:03:34.370 --> 00:03:36.909 shame so caregivers don't say them out loud. 00:03:37.729 --> 00:03:41.270 Maybe you feel like, I don't have a choice. No 00:03:41.270 --> 00:03:45.270 one else will do this. My life is on hold. If 00:03:45.270 --> 00:03:47.650 those thoughts sound familiar, trust me, your 00:03:47.650 --> 00:03:51.030 fatigue level is already high. Now here's the 00:03:51.030 --> 00:03:54.490 part I want you to really hear. Ignoring caregiver 00:03:54.490 --> 00:03:57.870 fatigue does not make you stronger. It just makes 00:03:57.870 --> 00:04:01.419 caregiving less safe. Fatigued caregivers are 00:04:01.419 --> 00:04:04.560 more likely to get injured, to miss warning signs, 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:07.400 to make mistakes with medication, or to burn 00:04:07.400 --> 00:04:10.460 out completely. And when that happens, everyone 00:04:10.460 --> 00:04:13.860 suffers. So what can you do if you recognize 00:04:13.860 --> 00:04:17.939 yourself in any of this? Well, first, name it. 00:04:18.339 --> 00:04:22.120 Saying, I am experiencing caregiver fatigue is 00:04:22.120 --> 00:04:26.720 not dramatic. It's honest. Secondly, lower the 00:04:26.720 --> 00:04:30.000 bar. You do not need to do everything perfectly. 00:04:30.540 --> 00:04:33.199 Doing something safe is better than perfect. 00:04:33.500 --> 00:04:38.379 Good enough is good enough. Third, build in small 00:04:38.379 --> 00:04:42.959 relief, not big unrealistic fixes. This might 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:45.579 mean asking someone to sit with your loved one 00:04:45.579 --> 00:04:48.980 for an hour. It might mean ordering groceries 00:04:48.980 --> 00:04:52.199 instead of shopping. It might mean talking to 00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:55.199 your doctor about stress, sleep, or anxiety. 00:04:56.009 --> 00:04:58.930 Small changes reduce fatigue more than waiting 00:04:58.930 --> 00:05:03.009 for a full break that may never come. And finally, 00:05:03.430 --> 00:05:08.350 get support before you hit the wall, the proverbial 00:05:08.350 --> 00:05:11.870 wall. That support might be practical help. It 00:05:11.870 --> 00:05:14.870 might be emotional support. It might be professional 00:05:14.870 --> 00:05:18.470 guidance. Caregiving works best when the caregiver 00:05:18.470 --> 00:05:21.990 is also cared for. That is not selfish. That's 00:05:21.990 --> 00:05:25.550 smart. If this episode felt personal, that's 00:05:25.550 --> 00:05:28.629 probably because it is. And if you're listening 00:05:28.629 --> 00:05:31.410 and thinking, I'm not there yet, but I'm close, 00:05:31.810 --> 00:05:35.189 then this message arrived right on time. So thanks 00:05:35.189 --> 00:05:38.069 for joining me today. Please share this episode 00:05:38.069 --> 00:05:40.410 with someone you care about who could use the 00:05:40.410 --> 00:05:43.569 information to make their life safer. You'll 00:05:43.569 --> 00:05:46.050 find more resources for seniors and caregivers 00:05:46.050 --> 00:05:50.029 on our website at seniorsafetyadvice .com. And 00:05:50.029 --> 00:05:52.810 if you're searching for an aging in place specialist, 00:05:52.889 --> 00:05:56.589 please visit our sister website at agingandplacedirectory 00:05:56.589 --> 00:06:00.410 .com. And if you haven't subscribed to our YouTube 00:06:00.410 --> 00:06:03.810 channel or to this podcast yet, go ahead and 00:06:03.810 --> 00:06:06.629 do that right now. Then come back tomorrow for 00:06:06.629 --> 00:06:09.329 another daily moment of guidance and encouragement 00:06:09.329 --> 00:06:12.870 right here on the Senior Safety Advice Podcast. 00:06:13.550 --> 00:06:16.310 Until next time, thanks so much for listening. 00:06:16.709 --> 00:06:18.029 Take care, bye.