WEBVTT 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:04.200 You know what breaks my heart? So many family 00:00:04.200 --> 00:00:07.120 caregivers tell me they feel guilty for being 00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:09.919 tired, for needing help, for wanting a break. 00:00:10.599 --> 00:00:13.900 But caregiving isn't just hard work. It can quietly 00:00:13.900 --> 00:00:16.940 drain your emotional and physical energy, even 00:00:16.940 --> 00:00:19.100 when you love the person you're caring for with 00:00:19.100 --> 00:00:21.920 your whole heart. Today I'm going to show you 00:00:21.920 --> 00:00:24.539 how to care for yourself with the same compassion 00:00:24.539 --> 00:00:27.140 you give to your loved one. You'll walk away 00:00:27.140 --> 00:00:30.039 with simple, doable ways to protect your wellbeing 00:00:30.039 --> 00:00:33.119 without feeling selfish. And just so you know, 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:35.960 you're in good hands. I'm Robin Schiltz, a senior 00:00:35.960 --> 00:00:38.899 home safety specialist. I've walked alongside 00:00:38.899 --> 00:00:41.700 many caregivers and I understand what this journey 00:00:41.700 --> 00:00:45.299 feels like from the inside. So let's get into 00:00:45.299 --> 00:00:48.799 it. Caregiving is one of the greatest acts of 00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:51.560 love and one of the toughest roles anyone can 00:00:51.560 --> 00:00:54.460 take on. If you're listening to this, chances 00:00:54.460 --> 00:00:57.500 are you already know that. You've lived the long 00:00:57.500 --> 00:01:00.200 days and the sleepless nights. You've handled 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:03.020 the appointments, the medication schedules, the 00:01:03.020 --> 00:01:06.379 mood changes, the unexpected emergencies, and 00:01:06.379 --> 00:01:09.219 through it all, you keep showing up. But here's 00:01:09.219 --> 00:01:12.670 what people don't always understand. Caregiving 00:01:12.670 --> 00:01:15.849 isn't just about what you do. It's also about 00:01:15.849 --> 00:01:18.890 what you carry emotionally. And sometimes, without 00:01:18.890 --> 00:01:22.069 even noticing it, you start to disappear inside 00:01:22.069 --> 00:01:24.849 the role. You stop doing things for yourself, 00:01:25.030 --> 00:01:27.769 you stop resting, you stop asking for help, and 00:01:27.769 --> 00:01:31.349 you stop feeling like you. Loving yourself through 00:01:31.349 --> 00:01:33.969 the caregiving journey isn't a luxury, though. 00:01:34.370 --> 00:01:37.599 It's not being indulgent or selfish. It is a 00:01:37.599 --> 00:01:40.400 survival skill, and it's one of the most important 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:43.439 things you can learn. So let's walk through a 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:46.819 few ways to care for you while you care for someone 00:01:46.819 --> 00:01:51.040 else. Number one is to let yourself feel what 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:54.739 you feel. Caregiving brings up the full rainbow 00:01:54.739 --> 00:01:58.640 of emotions. Love, exhaustion, anger, worry, 00:01:59.239 --> 00:02:02.359 frustration, and sometimes resentment. These 00:02:02.359 --> 00:02:05.040 feelings do not make you a bad caregiver. They 00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:08.379 make you human. When you pretend everything is 00:02:08.379 --> 00:02:11.539 fine, that stress builds up inside you. But when 00:02:11.539 --> 00:02:15.259 you allow yourself to say, this is hard, or I'm 00:02:15.259 --> 00:02:17.840 overwhelmed, you release some of the pressure 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:20.819 and you give yourself space to breathe. And the 00:02:20.819 --> 00:02:23.379 truth is, admitting your feelings doesn't change 00:02:23.379 --> 00:02:26.020 your love for the person, it strengthens your 00:02:26.020 --> 00:02:29.659 ability to keep going. Number two is to give 00:02:29.659 --> 00:02:33.120 yourself permission to take breaks. I know, the 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:35.939 moment you step away, even for a few hours, the 00:02:35.939 --> 00:02:39.219 guilt creeps in. You start thinking, I should 00:02:39.219 --> 00:02:43.180 be there, or no one can do it the way I do. But 00:02:43.180 --> 00:02:46.360 here's what I always tell caregivers. Breaks 00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:48.780 don't mean you're abandoning your loved one. 00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:51.919 They mean you're protecting your ability to continue 00:02:51.919 --> 00:02:57.009 caring. Even a small pause helps. taking a quiet 00:02:57.009 --> 00:03:00.090 walk or having coffee with a friend, just sitting 00:03:00.090 --> 00:03:03.349 outside and feeling the sun on your face. These 00:03:03.349 --> 00:03:06.430 moments refill your cup and you deserve that, 00:03:06.650 --> 00:03:10.969 and you need that. Number three is to stop believing 00:03:10.969 --> 00:03:14.650 you have to do this all alone. Caregiving often 00:03:14.650 --> 00:03:17.800 becomes a one -person show. Not because others 00:03:17.800 --> 00:03:20.360 don't want to help, but because caregivers feel 00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:23.719 like they should handle everything, or that asking 00:03:23.719 --> 00:03:27.039 for support is a burden for others. But here's 00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:30.259 what I've seen time after time. When caregivers 00:03:30.259 --> 00:03:33.520 ask for help, they don't fall behind. They actually 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:37.599 do better. Maybe help looks like a sibling taking 00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:40.580 over doing the bills, or maybe it's a friend 00:03:40.580 --> 00:03:42.719 sitting with your loved one while you run an 00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:45.800 errand. Maybe it's using respite care once a 00:03:45.800 --> 00:03:48.580 month, or joining a caregiver support group where 00:03:48.580 --> 00:03:51.520 you're not the only one saying, man, am I tired. 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:56.439 Support does not replace you. It sustains you. 00:03:57.439 --> 00:03:59.979 Number four is to speak to yourself with the 00:03:59.979 --> 00:04:02.900 same kindness you give others. Caregivers are 00:04:02.900 --> 00:04:05.560 often incredibly gentle with their loved ones 00:04:05.560 --> 00:04:08.939 and incredibly harsh with themselves. If the 00:04:08.939 --> 00:04:11.580 person you're caring for has had a bad day, you 00:04:11.580 --> 00:04:14.900 reassure them. But when you have a bad day, you 00:04:14.900 --> 00:04:19.000 criticize yourself. So let's flip that. When 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.860 you're struggling, try saying, I'm doing the 00:04:21.860 --> 00:04:25.639 best I can. Or, this is hard and I'm allowed 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:30.410 to feel tired. Or, I deserve care too. It sounds 00:04:30.410 --> 00:04:33.350 simple, but those words matter. The way you talk 00:04:33.350 --> 00:04:37.430 to yourself shapes the way you cope. Number five 00:04:37.430 --> 00:04:39.810 is to remember that your life still has value 00:04:39.810 --> 00:04:42.790 and meaning outside of caregiving. This one is 00:04:42.790 --> 00:04:46.050 so important. Caregiving can take up so much 00:04:46.050 --> 00:04:48.910 space that it becomes your whole identity, but 00:04:48.910 --> 00:04:51.730 you are more than the tasks you complete. You're 00:04:51.730 --> 00:04:54.329 more than the stress you manage, and you're more 00:04:54.329 --> 00:04:57.339 than the challenges you face. You still have 00:04:57.339 --> 00:05:00.199 dreams and interests and friendships and joys, 00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:03.240 and yes, the right to a life that feels fulfilling. 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:06.139 Keeping part of your life just for you isn't 00:05:06.139 --> 00:05:08.980 selfish. It's what keeps you grounded and what 00:05:08.980 --> 00:05:11.639 keeps you emotionally healthy, and it's what 00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:13.899 helps you show up each day with strength and 00:05:13.899 --> 00:05:17.860 compassion. So thanks for joining me today. Please 00:05:17.860 --> 00:05:20.079 share this episode with someone you care about 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:22.519 who could use the information to make their life 00:05:22.519 --> 00:05:25.800 safer. You'll find more resources for seniors 00:05:25.800 --> 00:05:28.939 and caregivers on our website at seniorsafetyadvice 00:05:28.939 --> 00:05:31.879 .com, and if you're searching for an Aging in 00:05:31.879 --> 00:05:34.720 Place Specialist, please visit our sister website 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:38.939 at aginginplacedirectory .com. Also, if you haven't 00:05:38.939 --> 00:05:41.319 subscribed to our YouTube channel or to this 00:05:41.319 --> 00:05:44.459 podcast yet, go ahead and do that right now, 00:05:44.459 --> 00:05:46.779 and then come back tomorrow for another daily 00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:49.759 moment of guidance and encouragement right here 00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:53.500 on the Senior Safety Advice Podcast. Until next 00:05:53.500 --> 00:05:57.079 time, thanks for listening, take care, bye!