WEBVTT

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And then while I'm doing this, Katie just comes

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in and says artichokes and then leaves. Let me

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explain. Brats and welcome back to another episode

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of Rainbow Book Rats, a queer romance podcast

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where four feral rats nerd out about their favorite

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reads. On this episode of Digging Deeper, we

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will be talking about our recent buddy read and

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doing a deep dive into a bookish topic one of

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us is foaming at the mouth to talk about. So

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grab a treat, settle in, and let's get to yapping.

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I'm JD, my pronouns are they, them, and I recently

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thrifted a new lava lamp. Cum lamp. It is the

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cum lamp. Sorry. It's the cum lamp. I'm Kit,

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they, he, and I have a visceral reaction to mustaches.

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What a hater. I know. Come on, outfit. I'm Megan.

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She, her, they, them. And I love mustaches. I'm

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Katie. She, her. And I'm trying to grow one.

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true she really does want a mustache i really

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would love to grow be able to grow a beard or

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facial hair i don't know i like body hair in

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general it's doing you very well i think i don't

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shave anything i love body hair i think hair

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i just sounds so weird i love hair not in a weird

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way Are you sure that you're cis? In a really

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normal way. Just a really big fan of beards and

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hair and body hair. I have no arm hair anymore

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and I was really upset by that. Like I have little

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arm hair but it's like pretty much all gone.

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Aww. Yeah. r .i .p katie's arm hair i wonder

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if they do arm hair transplants so this week

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we are going to talk about our buddy read that

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was chosen by kit me yay so i chose uh the full

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moon problem by k claire it's a low -ish angst

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paranormal romance uh set in a small british

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village so essentially you've got felix who doesn't

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know he's a witch until he moves there and he

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falls for shy declan the delivery driver in the

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village who is totally not a werewolf. Totally

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a normal man. Totally a normal man. And no one

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in the town is hiding that about him because

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he's not. Yeah, and why would you even ask about

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Declan? Yeah, seriously. They all act perfectly

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normal when you bring up his name. So yeah, Felix

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settles in in his very witchy cottage. He plants

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his little witchy garden. oh my god he learns

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his witchy recipes give it to me he just lives

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the best witchy life i like how during the buddy

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read we were all just talking about how we would

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this is like the dream life like living in a

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little cottage yeah a little witchy plan seriously

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though and your your werewolf boyfriend yeah

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this is my dream life in my head movies right

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oh i want a little cottage with a garden And

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Felix gets almost everything he needs doing swapping

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potions with the villagers. This is basically

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Stardew Valley. Yeah. He like makes different

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tea blends for like, you know, anxiety and migraines

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and stuff. He inherited his cottage from his

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aunt who passed away. And she was like the village

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witch, basically. And so everyone in the village

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had been used to her giving them her little remedies

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for everything and kind of trading what they

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had with her because she never asked for payment

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for any of it. So Felix just kind of like falls

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into. that role and he moves back there and finds

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out about that yeah that's what i want to be

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when i grow up right i want to be that too i

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want to be the village with so felix gives them

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a potion and they give him honey or you know

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candles or a pie i love that yeah that barter

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system it's so it's so cozy it is so cozy yeah

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this was a super cozy book it really was and

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not a werewolf declan has a full moon problem

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he does yeah where essentially he doesn't have

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control of his werewolf um his actual werewolf

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every full moon's where felix's aunt used to

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make him a potion so once felix finds this out

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he sets out to try and replicate this potion

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to give that come back his control and in the

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process of that they fall in love and it's very

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sweet It's so sweet. It is. Declan is just the

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most adorable. I can't even put into words. Pretty

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much this entire buddy read was just me being

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like, stop it. Stop it. He's so cute. I can't

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handle it. A little anxious bean. He is. He is

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such a shy bean. In the beginning when he first

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meets Felix, he's like... He doesn't talk, runs

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away, and then later on he's like, I was charmed

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by you. He's so anxious around Felix that they

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can't talk for ages, but they communicate through

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letters. I know! It's really cute. It's so cute.

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And he folds all of his letters to Felix into

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little origami shapes. It's just darling. Just

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imagining this giant man folding these little

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origami letters. In his delivery van. He does

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it in the van before he leaves. It makes me sad.

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Yeah, he writes all of his letters after they

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have their interactions or whatever. He goes

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back to the van, writes his letter, and then

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folds it into the little origami and then leaves

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it. It makes me want to cry. It's very much like

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a slogan, but I like how after a certain point,

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Felix is just like, you know what, enough. It

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sort of forces Declan to come in the house and

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have a chat and be friends. He's like, you're

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not going to do this. But also, I love that Felix

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had kept all of the letters, the origami letters,

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and he stuck them to his headboard. It was just

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so cute. So cute. He treasured them. Not only

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did he, like, every time he'd get a note, he

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would unfold it so carefully, read it, take a

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picture of the letter, and then refold it. Like,

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I love that. Yeah. He learned how to do a little

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bit of origami, too, because he had to put them

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all back together again. Yes. But yeah, oh, I

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love that so much. And the way that Declan obviously

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did learn to be less shy and to open up a bit,

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because he has trauma. He has lost. he has grief

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oh my baby and he doesn't actually talk about

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it yeah it's really it's so sad yeah and he also

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like yeah the village protects him and absolutely

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loves the hell out of him but he's the only werewolf

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there there's nobody quite like him um so he's

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always felt i think a bit alone he was adopted

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you see i think he was like left left on a doorstep

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or something and he'd always felt quite alone

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because of that and felt quite different from

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everybody else around him and he really connected

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with felix over that because felix has always

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felt very alone and different from people around

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him because um he's actually trans and and growing

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up he wasn't especially supported with his identity

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baby yeah my baby and also i do want to call

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out that the trans rep in this was so good yes

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like i mean i mean k claire the writer is also

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trans but it was just like it was a thing it

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was a big part of felix's personality but we

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got to see it just like everyday life yeah like

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we got to see the like the tea injections and

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yeah and also i i think one of one of the big

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parts of his like backstory is he never really

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learned any of like the witch things from his

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mom because he he didn't really want anything

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to do with it yeah you know because it was like

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the girls in the family did that and he wanted

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to really distance himself from that yeah definitely

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i got also that his parents or his mom didn't

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really believe in like modern medicine necessarily

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and that was also a big thing because obviously

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like the trend like to transition required some

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modern medicine and in the beginning Felix talked

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about how he had thought about doing top surgery

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or bottom surgery but then decided that he liked

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everything how it was like because he talks a

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lot about his chest he doesn't have top surgery

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but like before he was kind of naturally flat

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and then he's done a lot of chest work yeah and

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he talks about how like deciding not to get surgeries

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at all but like it seemed like a point of contention

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that his family didn't really believe in medicine

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yeah yeah it was a really cool representation

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of like a specific version of being a trans man

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and it's just really nice to see because you

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know trans men are not a monolith and um it was

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interesting to see also because like you know

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there are going to be loads of people out there

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who have families who are either either families

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who are not supportive of being trans or families

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who for other reasons are not supportive or even

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scared of medical settings yeah and how you recover

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from that and get past that and as an adult embrace

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your future. So I thought it was just really

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well done that one. you know, that part of it.

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Yeah. Yeah. It was really sweet. And I just liked

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that this had a lot of, I felt like this book

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had a lot of queer joy, trans joy, cozy. It was.

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Yeah. The fan family. Oh my gosh. It's the whole

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town. So Nimbley Ford is the name of the town

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and I'm going to find this place. I'm going to

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move there. You'll never hear from me again.

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I think it was, I think it was JD who mentioned

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in the buddy read that this reminds them of Eureka.

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Yeah. And I totally got those. vibes because

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that's like one of my favorite tropes is like

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just quirky found family town that like you know

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it's just you just want to be there you want

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to live there yeah eureka by the way the show

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on sci -fi yeah from the early 2000s i don't

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know like straight from the very beginning of

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it i just like got that vibe and i don't even

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know like really it just kind of like shot out

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at me like i i haven't thought about that show

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in years and years and years but i i don't know

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it just like conjured that image for me the same

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sort of cozy like yeah like everybody here has

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a knows something but they're not you know yeah

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yeah secrets secrets all that so yeah but um

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i also i just wanted to mention um the fact that

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this is a british book and there's You know where

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I'm going with this. There just were some words

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in this book that are very British. And as an

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American, I didn't know what some of them meant.

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And so I went to the group chat just to ask because

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I wanted to know. And we had some struggles.

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There were some struggles a little bit. So first,

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I just didn't know what dungarees was. I love

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that word. And then I was like, isn't that the

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gram bears that you dip in the frosting? And

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I was like, no, Megan, that's gunkaroos. So it

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turns out it's overalls, okay? It's overalls.

00:12:55.929 --> 00:13:04.789
dunkaroos overalls not dunkaroos i really it

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was like it was like 2 a .m or 1 a .m i really

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wanted dunkaroos after that oh my god and then

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what was the second one it was poultice oh and

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streamer streamer was the third one poultice

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yeah i didn't know what a poultice was either

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and i was like what is that even in the group

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chat and i'm asking and megan's awake and so

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she's responding back about it go ahead megan

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alex my husband was standing right there and

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i was laughing he's like what are you laughing

00:13:42.269 --> 00:13:45.149
about i was like what's a poultice and he says

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Oh, isn't that like, it's like a bomb, right?

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And I was like, okay. And I texted, I texted

00:13:51.559 --> 00:13:55.639
back the group chat and it was like, bomb, B

00:13:55.639 --> 00:14:00.620
-O -M -B. Alex says it's a bomb. And I was like,

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a bomb? And then I turned it back to Alex. That's

00:14:06.899 --> 00:14:08.740
when he said, oh yeah, like a witch's, like a

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witch's or whatever. And I was like, oh, bomb.

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jd's already in there being like what the fuck

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and i was like oh no no it's like a salve it's

00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:32.240
like like a witch's ear oh my gosh yeah so and

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then and then there was the strimmer which it's

00:14:37.759 --> 00:14:42.799
a weed whacker or a weed eater as some say jd

00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:45.679
comes in and they're like what's strimmer and

00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:48.340
so i have my phone up and i'm trying to say strimmer

00:14:48.340 --> 00:14:53.580
into into siri and and i'm getting nothing and

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it's coming back with like trimmer and streamer

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like oh someone's on twitch and then while i'm

00:15:01.419 --> 00:15:04.279
doing this katie just comes in and says artichoke

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and then leaves Let me explain. She hadn't said

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anything before that, but we're trying to figure

00:15:14.299 --> 00:15:19.360
out what a story is. It doesn't come back. No

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follow up. And so I was like, oh, I guess that's

00:15:21.919 --> 00:15:29.159
the answer. So Megan has put like a screenshot

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of what she was being told it was. And then.

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I'm like, so what exactly is it? And then Megan

00:15:36.539 --> 00:15:39.279
just goes, an artichoke. And I was like, no,

00:15:39.299 --> 00:15:43.259
no, no. So I'm reading through the screenshot

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and I'm like, oh, it says, okay, it says it's

00:15:45.700 --> 00:15:50.659
like a weed whacker. I think it took like an

00:15:50.659 --> 00:15:54.159
hour for Katie to come back and be like, no,

00:15:54.259 --> 00:15:57.759
I had an artichoke for dinner. I didn't even.

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I didn't even read the chat prior to sending

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the message. I came in. I was full from dinner.

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I was so pleased with myself because I had had

00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:11.059
a whole artichoke and it was so good. I just

00:16:11.059 --> 00:16:12.519
texted artichoke because I was like, they'll

00:16:12.519 --> 00:16:20.110
understand. And then I left. I come back an hour

00:16:20.110 --> 00:16:21.970
later and you guys are just losing your mind.

00:16:22.909 --> 00:16:27.029
Anyway, we got really confused and we were laughing

00:16:27.029 --> 00:16:29.710
so hard. We were sending voice notes back and

00:16:29.710 --> 00:16:32.169
forth to each other and I was just dying with

00:16:32.169 --> 00:16:38.070
tears streaming down our face. Oh my god. It

00:16:38.070 --> 00:16:39.909
was really funny. So anyway, there were a few

00:16:39.909 --> 00:16:42.289
terms in the book that I didn't really understand

00:16:42.289 --> 00:16:45.490
at first but I figured it out. But I do want

00:16:45.490 --> 00:16:47.690
to make it clear. This book is set in Britain.

00:16:48.169 --> 00:16:52.110
it is written by somebody who is clearly like

00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:56.049
uh so k is actually from south africa and came

00:16:56.049 --> 00:16:59.649
to britain on holiday and loves uh britain but

00:16:59.649 --> 00:17:02.830
you can tell that they are not british and do

00:17:02.830 --> 00:17:05.710
you know how you can tell i couldn't tell i couldn't

00:17:05.710 --> 00:17:10.250
tell we're americans there are zero cups of proper

00:17:10.250 --> 00:17:12.450
tea made in this book oh is it because there's

00:17:12.450 --> 00:17:17.569
no um milk cream do you put milk or cream so

00:17:17.569 --> 00:17:20.609
Felix makes a lot of herbal tea but there is

00:17:20.609 --> 00:17:23.049
no black tea there is zero there is no black

00:17:23.049 --> 00:17:25.890
tea in this book Felix doesn't even keep any

00:17:25.890 --> 00:17:28.750
in the house that doesn't happen like I don't

00:17:28.750 --> 00:17:32.809
drink tea there's still tea in this house I just

00:17:32.809 --> 00:17:35.589
want to read one thing that I added to our buddy

00:17:35.589 --> 00:17:38.160
read towards the beginning once we figured out,

00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:42.599
you know, what all those words meant. I had put

00:17:42.599 --> 00:17:46.279
a quote from the book that said, the dungarees

00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:50.900
and boots feel like a uniform. And then my comment,

00:17:51.059 --> 00:17:55.200
now I'm just picturing Felix in nothing but rain

00:17:55.200 --> 00:18:00.619
boots holding a pack of dunkaroos. Dunkaroos

00:18:00.619 --> 00:18:03.640
in one hand and a cartoon bomb in the other.

00:18:04.140 --> 00:18:14.349
Oh my god. And that was just an image that really

00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:20.329
stayed with me throughout the book. Another really

00:18:20.329 --> 00:18:24.569
fun thing about the book is that the author drew

00:18:24.569 --> 00:18:28.089
pictures for it. There were pictures throughout

00:18:28.089 --> 00:18:30.250
the book illustrating some of the scenes. And

00:18:30.250 --> 00:18:31.930
I thought that was really fun. I really enjoyed

00:18:31.930 --> 00:18:34.869
that. Yes. And the cover as well. Cage of the

00:18:34.869 --> 00:18:37.380
cover as well. Yeah. There's a little map in

00:18:37.380 --> 00:18:38.940
the beginning of the book, which I always love

00:18:38.940 --> 00:18:44.119
a map. I love a map. It's so sweet. I think my

00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:47.799
favorite image was there's a point where Declan

00:18:47.799 --> 00:18:52.539
is shifted into his werewolf, and then he's cuddling

00:18:52.539 --> 00:18:55.619
Felix in the bathroom. That's my favorite scene

00:18:55.619 --> 00:18:59.319
in the whole book. I love that scene. So cute.

00:18:59.779 --> 00:19:02.980
And that picture is so good. So the book is super

00:19:02.980 --> 00:19:05.700
sweet and cute and cozy and stuff, but... It

00:19:05.700 --> 00:19:08.880
is also, like, I mean, it's also pretty spicy.

00:19:09.140 --> 00:19:12.200
Like, decently spicy, I think. Yeah. I mean,

00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:14.000
there's shifted sex, so of course it's spicy.

00:19:14.019 --> 00:19:18.240
Yeah. The shifted sex. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my

00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:22.779
God. I wanted more. Yeah, I know. Same. Oh, yeah.

00:19:23.180 --> 00:19:25.819
As soon as Felix meets Declan, though, like,

00:19:25.859 --> 00:19:30.599
Felix is a horny gremlin. He's always... He's

00:19:30.599 --> 00:19:33.569
just always... I'm so horned up for Declan. Even

00:19:33.569 --> 00:19:35.970
before they're together, he'll just be daydreaming

00:19:35.970 --> 00:19:39.769
about his arm hair or whatever. Much like you

00:19:39.769 --> 00:19:45.170
do, right? The buddy we used to be dueling. Body

00:19:45.170 --> 00:19:50.029
hair, you mentioned. But that first kiss on the

00:19:50.029 --> 00:19:54.650
couch. The hottest first kiss I think I've ever

00:19:54.650 --> 00:19:59.569
read. It's so hot that Declan pops his claws.

00:20:00.109 --> 00:20:04.930
and gouges oh my god yeah um doesn't he also

00:20:04.930 --> 00:20:08.230
come in his boxers was that then or oh that could

00:20:08.230 --> 00:20:10.589
that may have been a different scene yeah where

00:20:10.589 --> 00:20:14.509
there is some coming early that makes me remind

00:20:14.509 --> 00:20:18.349
me and then in the in the fully shifted sex scene

00:20:18.349 --> 00:20:21.730
we also get breeding kink dirty talk my favorite

00:20:21.730 --> 00:20:27.670
my favorite yes that whole scene and and werewolf

00:20:27.670 --> 00:20:33.650
licking of You know, intimate areas. Going downtown.

00:20:34.109 --> 00:20:38.009
Oh yeah. It was like the first scene they were

00:20:38.009 --> 00:20:40.190
together when Declan's like, can I clean you

00:20:40.190 --> 00:20:43.349
up? And I just, I want to flip my desk. I loved

00:20:43.349 --> 00:20:50.390
it so much. I literally, I had in the buddy room,

00:20:50.569 --> 00:20:53.569
I had been talking. I was like, I want him to

00:20:53.569 --> 00:20:55.490
clean him up with his tongue. And then like two

00:20:55.490 --> 00:20:57.650
minutes later it happened. And I was like, Oh

00:20:57.650 --> 00:21:03.200
my God. but Declan is just obsessed with Felix's

00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:07.640
scent and Felix's taste and I'm so here for it

00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:11.779
I love the mutual obsession Declan is the one

00:21:11.779 --> 00:21:13.960
who has heightened sense and taste and stuff

00:21:13.960 --> 00:21:17.059
like that but Felix was also so obsessed with

00:21:17.059 --> 00:21:22.140
how hairy he was and his smell it was so good

00:21:22.140 --> 00:21:26.259
but the thing is Obviously, Felix kept getting

00:21:26.259 --> 00:21:29.039
horny around Declan, and then Declan could smell

00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:36.940
it. There's a point where Felix is enjoying some

00:21:36.940 --> 00:21:40.859
alone time, some self -planning. And then Declan

00:21:40.859 --> 00:21:43.640
shows up, he opens the door, and Declan's just

00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:48.160
like, oh my god. It's like the Edward Cullen

00:21:48.160 --> 00:21:54.150
tit -soak thing. Yes! In our buddy read, you

00:21:54.150 --> 00:21:56.410
could see we just had lots of comments about

00:21:56.410 --> 00:22:00.190
horny smell, horny smell, horny smell. Horny

00:22:00.190 --> 00:22:04.730
smell and body hair were the themes of this book.

00:22:05.130 --> 00:22:10.130
It's a recurring theme, okay? Okay, let me see.

00:22:10.150 --> 00:22:12.369
I'm looking through our buddy read right now.

00:22:12.509 --> 00:22:14.309
Oh, I just found another horny smell. He can

00:22:14.309 --> 00:22:19.829
smell horny, confirmed! And then the next one.

00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.880
Oh, here's a quote from the book. Felix watches

00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:26.480
from the corner of his eye as Declan takes his

00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:29.900
first bite and makes a pleased noise. Felix tries

00:22:29.900 --> 00:22:32.920
really hard not to be horny about the sound,

00:22:33.059 --> 00:22:36.299
but judging by the way Declan stops chewing and

00:22:36.299 --> 00:22:39.619
glances at Felix, he obviously notices. And then

00:22:39.619 --> 00:22:44.420
my comment is, horny, horny smell! And Kit says,

00:22:44.619 --> 00:22:50.720
spray bottle for Felix! Which made me laugh so

00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:58.579
hard. Down, down boy, down. The horny smell was

00:22:58.579 --> 00:23:01.460
really out of control. It was so good. It was

00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:06.299
really funny. But yeah, it's just such a good

00:23:06.299 --> 00:23:09.299
little low angst read. Although I did cry several

00:23:09.299 --> 00:23:14.000
times. Me too. I was crying. I didn't, but I

00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:17.619
understand why you would. It wasn't like the

00:23:17.619 --> 00:23:20.059
relationship angst. It was more like the grief

00:23:20.059 --> 00:23:22.819
and the loss. But also crying because you love

00:23:22.819 --> 00:23:26.400
them so much. You know when something is so sweet

00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:27.839
and you love it so much it just makes you want

00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:33.460
to vomit. That's how I feel about them. Also,

00:23:33.619 --> 00:23:38.300
the friend group in this book. So good. fantastic

00:23:38.300 --> 00:23:41.119
loved loved loved every one of them was such

00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:44.619
a complete character yes yes exactly and there's

00:23:44.619 --> 00:23:48.920
um you get um you get autism rep you get asexual

00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:52.819
rep you get ever romantic as well is it i was

00:23:52.819 --> 00:23:56.140
gonna say it's child free it was just a really

00:23:56.140 --> 00:23:58.200
well -rounded group of friends and like really

00:23:58.200 --> 00:24:01.180
well thought out characters that weren't just

00:24:01.180 --> 00:24:05.180
like put in as like filler to oh you know felix

00:24:05.180 --> 00:24:07.299
needs friends but they were like genuinely so

00:24:07.299 --> 00:24:10.380
yeah such an important part of the story i loved

00:24:10.380 --> 00:24:13.299
them yeah and you had a complete family of ages

00:24:13.299 --> 00:24:19.799
like declan with his old people the fact that

00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:24.779
declan basically considered like yassine and

00:24:24.779 --> 00:24:31.539
the old people his only friends killed me and

00:24:31.539 --> 00:24:33.460
then when Felix went around to Declan's for the

00:24:33.460 --> 00:24:35.980
first time I think and Declan was getting him

00:24:35.980 --> 00:24:38.420
something to wear from his own wardrobe and they

00:24:38.420 --> 00:24:40.140
just threw up in the wardrobe drawers and it

00:24:40.140 --> 00:24:43.400
was just filled with sweaters that that some

00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:46.880
of the old people have made for him oh yeah and

00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:50.880
throughout the book up to that point Felix has

00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:54.539
like noticed how Declan is almost always wearing

00:24:54.539 --> 00:24:58.359
a different knit sweater And we don't really

00:24:58.359 --> 00:25:00.740
think much of it until that point when we find

00:25:00.740 --> 00:25:02.940
out, oh my gosh, yeah, because Declan tells him

00:25:02.940 --> 00:25:05.160
that he gets them in exchange for doing favors

00:25:05.160 --> 00:25:07.319
for the old people at the home. They make him

00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:11.819
sweaters. My little bug. It's so precious. It

00:25:11.819 --> 00:25:14.559
makes me want to live in a barter society. Yeah.

00:25:15.019 --> 00:25:19.900
It just makes me yearn for fuck capitalism, give

00:25:19.900 --> 00:25:23.839
me barter. This whole village is just so magical.

00:25:24.119 --> 00:25:26.589
I know. the cool thing is like the only magical

00:25:26.589 --> 00:25:29.690
or like supernatural things are felix and declan

00:25:29.690 --> 00:25:31.970
yeah yeah everyone else is just regular but like

00:25:31.970 --> 00:25:34.210
everyone's just so full of like love and compassion

00:25:34.210 --> 00:25:37.109
and kindness and like they are the whole town

00:25:37.109 --> 00:25:41.529
is family like yes it's wonderful yeah um if

00:25:41.529 --> 00:25:44.750
there's any um older people who want to knit

00:25:44.750 --> 00:25:51.250
me sweaters, I am available for adoption. Well,

00:25:51.289 --> 00:25:53.210
what are you willing to do in exchange? You have

00:25:53.210 --> 00:25:56.809
to do them a favor. Oh, I can be cute. I can

00:25:56.809 --> 00:26:01.509
be cute. They can tell people that I'm their,

00:26:01.529 --> 00:26:09.259
you know, grandchild. I don't know. things I

00:26:09.259 --> 00:26:13.779
can do. A sugar grandbaby. Megan is searching

00:26:13.779 --> 00:26:21.299
for a sugar grandma. I will exchange favors for

00:26:21.299 --> 00:26:24.200
knitted sweaters. I'm moving to the Pacific Northwest.

00:26:24.319 --> 00:26:28.750
I'm going to be cold. I need them. for this deep

00:26:28.750 --> 00:26:31.670
dive section the four of us are gonna do four

00:26:31.670 --> 00:26:34.349
mini deep dives we're gonna talk about the books

00:26:34.349 --> 00:26:37.170
and characters that we really identify with in

00:26:37.170 --> 00:26:41.089
terms of representation books that have characters

00:26:41.089 --> 00:26:43.990
or representations that we identify with yeah

00:26:43.990 --> 00:26:49.819
so jd take it away for my first book I decided

00:26:49.819 --> 00:26:56.599
to choose a character with anxiety. Because if

00:26:56.599 --> 00:27:00.579
there's one thing I have, it's generalized anxiety

00:27:00.579 --> 00:27:06.460
disorder. And other things, but mostly that.

00:27:07.799 --> 00:27:11.200
I am happily medicated these days. Thank goodness

00:27:11.200 --> 00:27:14.039
for pharmaceuticals. Why do you say that? As

00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:18.940
soon as I grab my pill bottle. I was really stumbling

00:27:18.940 --> 00:27:21.180
through life, okay, until like four years ago.

00:27:22.500 --> 00:27:26.839
And I'm 35. Listen, AFAB people get a short end

00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:30.980
of the stick. It's true. Yeah, so I had... a

00:27:30.980 --> 00:27:35.799
pretty decent sized list of characters they were

00:27:35.799 --> 00:27:38.500
like this one or this one this one yeah there

00:27:38.500 --> 00:27:42.420
are a few for this one i went with jay from natural

00:27:42.420 --> 00:27:46.559
20 by charlie novak yeah i haven't read that

00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:49.309
no i haven't oh it's so good good for anyone

00:27:49.309 --> 00:27:51.930
who hasn't read charlie novak this is the series

00:27:51.930 --> 00:27:55.470
that i recommend you start with yes because all

00:27:55.470 --> 00:27:58.150
of their books sort of thread into each other

00:27:58.150 --> 00:28:00.829
a little bit but yeah it's it's where i recommend

00:28:00.829 --> 00:28:05.150
starting and it's a very cute book so jay is

00:28:05.150 --> 00:28:09.650
a clumsy anxious bookstore owner he has just

00:28:09.650 --> 00:28:13.460
opened his indie bookstore with the help of his

00:28:13.460 --> 00:28:16.920
best friend edward oh jay's full name is jacob

00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:20.720
and so his his best friend's name being edward

00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:24.160
they kind of have like a twilight joke between

00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:29.680
them Anyway, so it's about Jay and another entrepreneur

00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:35.420
in town, Leo, who owns the florist shop down

00:28:35.420 --> 00:28:38.359
the street. He's a big bookworm. And so he decides

00:28:38.359 --> 00:28:41.680
to go check out the new bookstore that's open.

00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:43.539
And he brings like a little bouquet with him,

00:28:43.559 --> 00:28:47.269
of course. Part of this book is flower language.

00:28:47.690 --> 00:28:51.210
Yes. Oh, I like that. Like the secret meaning

00:28:51.210 --> 00:28:54.809
behind flowers? Yes, yes. So I think it's a Victorian

00:28:54.809 --> 00:28:58.390
thing where flowers have certain meanings. And

00:28:58.390 --> 00:29:00.670
so for his first bouquet, he brought a bouquet

00:29:00.670 --> 00:29:03.910
that symbolized prosperity. Oh, nice. It's very

00:29:03.910 --> 00:29:05.750
sweet. Throughout the book, he brings Jay different

00:29:05.750 --> 00:29:07.809
bouquets that mean different things. And the

00:29:07.809 --> 00:29:13.269
chapter titles are flower names. And it's so,

00:29:13.390 --> 00:29:15.279
so sweet. week it's just flower love letters

00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:18.180
throughout the whole book and Jay has no idea

00:29:18.180 --> 00:29:23.440
yeah so Leo heads over to the bookstore to welcome

00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:27.200
Jay very charmed by just Jay's general clumsy

00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:30.019
flightiness and he's also kind of like an emo

00:29:30.019 --> 00:29:34.099
boy a little bit Jay is and um they have like

00:29:34.099 --> 00:29:37.259
a D &D group that they play in the basement uh

00:29:37.259 --> 00:29:40.220
Leo ends up joining it and so they play together

00:29:40.220 --> 00:29:42.720
and edward is the dm and it's there's several

00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.240
scenes of them playing dnd that are really really

00:29:45.240 --> 00:29:47.740
fun yeah i also have on here jay always wears

00:29:47.740 --> 00:29:52.099
fun socks i also relate to that excellent i always

00:29:52.099 --> 00:29:54.759
have like a crazy pair of socks i wouldn't say

00:29:54.759 --> 00:29:57.119
there's like a ton of spice in this book but

00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:00.359
there is spice and it's quite good so jay and

00:30:00.359 --> 00:30:03.299
leo become friends they decide that they're gonna

00:30:03.299 --> 00:30:06.880
watch this tv show together and so they sit down

00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:09.869
and watch tv shows every week with other but

00:30:09.869 --> 00:30:13.569
as their friendship is developing jay's anxiety

00:30:13.569 --> 00:30:17.150
is also growing no no just a lot of like financial

00:30:17.150 --> 00:30:20.650
worries pressing down on him and he's come out

00:30:20.650 --> 00:30:23.890
of a bad relationship recently where he worked

00:30:23.890 --> 00:30:27.849
himself to the bone to support his partner only

00:30:27.849 --> 00:30:31.650
for his partner to be really ungrateful about

00:30:31.650 --> 00:30:34.789
it and tell him that their relationship was trashed

00:30:34.789 --> 00:30:38.150
because he never spent time with him rude yeah

00:30:38.509 --> 00:30:42.690
So he's feeling really insecure about himself

00:30:42.690 --> 00:30:45.750
already. And then he's got all this anxiety pressing

00:30:45.750 --> 00:30:49.930
down. He doesn't want to tell anybody really.

00:30:50.029 --> 00:30:52.369
He wants to kind of keep it on his own shoulders

00:30:52.369 --> 00:30:55.609
because he feels it's his responsibility. Edward

00:30:55.609 --> 00:30:58.589
helped him open the shop financially and he doesn't

00:30:58.589 --> 00:31:01.269
want to tell him I need help. So he's like doing

00:31:01.269 --> 00:31:03.589
all this stuff that's just stacking. He's drowning.

00:31:03.789 --> 00:31:07.130
Yeah. Yeah. And he just kind of spirals into.

00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:10.859
little anxiety spiral there which you know i

00:31:10.859 --> 00:31:16.220
can relate yeah for sure i totally feel him it's

00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:18.099
one of the ones where i was like yelling at him

00:31:18.099 --> 00:31:20.440
in the book being like just fucking tell leo

00:31:20.440 --> 00:31:24.160
just tell leo tell leo but it's so hard it's

00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:27.220
so hard anxiety it is yeah and that was like

00:31:27.220 --> 00:31:29.299
one of the things that really stuck with me is

00:31:29.299 --> 00:31:31.039
just remember thinking like while i was reading

00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:34.980
it like i totally understand like yeah like i

00:31:34.980 --> 00:31:37.319
i completely see where he's coming from i was

00:31:37.319 --> 00:31:39.559
just like yeah yeah i wasn't surprised i know

00:31:39.559 --> 00:31:41.759
what that's like yeah i wasn't surprised nothing

00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:44.940
about how he acted was shocking it just seemed

00:31:44.940 --> 00:31:46.980
like Like a natural, of course, that's what you're

00:31:46.980 --> 00:31:50.039
going to do. When you have anxiety, I feel like

00:31:50.039 --> 00:31:52.420
it's so easy to get lost in this spiral. And

00:31:52.420 --> 00:31:54.359
then when you're out of the situation, it's easy

00:31:54.359 --> 00:31:55.940
to look back and be like, oh, this should have

00:31:55.940 --> 00:31:58.019
been the path that I took. But when you're in

00:31:58.019 --> 00:32:00.519
it, it's like a tornado. You literally can't

00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:02.859
even. There is no path. There is no path. Because

00:32:02.859 --> 00:32:06.799
you're not logical. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, this

00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:09.960
is. It's just a really sweet book. It's like

00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:13.839
a small town romance, friends to lovers, size

00:32:13.839 --> 00:32:16.579
difference because Leo is like this hulking tattooed

00:32:16.579 --> 00:32:20.660
man and Jay is like this little emo boy. Which

00:32:20.660 --> 00:32:25.160
you also relate to. Yes, yeah. What, me with

00:32:25.160 --> 00:32:28.039
my lip piercings and nose piercing? No, the small

00:32:28.039 --> 00:32:33.769
bit. All five foot three of you? Yeah. My second

00:32:33.769 --> 00:32:36.329
book that I'm going to talk about, it is All

00:32:36.329 --> 00:32:40.430
Tied Up by Reese Morrison. Yay. It's one of my

00:32:40.430 --> 00:32:44.309
absolute favorite books. There are two points

00:32:44.309 --> 00:32:47.009
of representation for reasons why I picked this

00:32:47.009 --> 00:32:50.950
book as my second book. One is that it's a poly

00:32:50.950 --> 00:32:55.079
book. Yes. Polyamory. And then the second one

00:32:55.079 --> 00:32:57.920
is that there is an agender character in this

00:32:57.920 --> 00:33:03.220
book. And I never find agender characters. Right?

00:33:03.380 --> 00:33:05.440
More agender characters, please. Yes, please.

00:33:05.579 --> 00:33:08.119
I think maybe there's one other book that has

00:33:08.119 --> 00:33:10.099
an agender character in it, but I can't think

00:33:10.099 --> 00:33:12.400
of which one it is. I might even be wrong about

00:33:12.400 --> 00:33:14.440
that. I think maybe this is the only book that

00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:16.420
I've ever read that has it. I actually have two

00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:18.740
books that I'm going to talk about that are both

00:33:18.740 --> 00:33:23.109
with agender characters. No way. Yeah. holding

00:33:23.109 --> 00:33:28.779
out on me. Katie coming in with the Rex. So All

00:33:28.779 --> 00:33:31.339
Tied Up is about the owners of the Meadowlark

00:33:31.339 --> 00:33:35.039
Inn. The Meadowlark Inn. Yeah, so they host kink

00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:37.599
weekends through the cuffed app frequently. And

00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:40.319
in this book, they're hosting a daddy and boy

00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:43.220
night. And one of the boys who shows up for this

00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:48.059
event, his name is Neil. And he is an older man.

00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:54.339
He is plus size. And he is working as a lawyer.

00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:58.720
He feels trapped in his job. And in his life,

00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:00.640
he's never been able to really get what he wants

00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:03.740
out of a relationship because he knows that he's

00:34:03.740 --> 00:34:08.480
more kinky, but he hasn't. been able to find

00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:11.280
a partner who is. So his friend that he made

00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:14.059
at a kink club, he's one of the owners of this

00:34:14.059 --> 00:34:17.039
app. And so he was telling Neil about these weekends.

00:34:17.139 --> 00:34:19.920
He's really trying to like push him into the

00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:22.059
lifestyle because he just knows that he needs

00:34:22.059 --> 00:34:24.079
it. He needs the little push. He feels really

00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:26.659
out of place because of his age too. You know,

00:34:26.659 --> 00:34:30.199
in this book, it is a throuple situation eventually.

00:34:30.539 --> 00:34:34.639
Jamie is the partner who is Polly. He likes to

00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:37.960
have scenes with other people. Sebastian is very

00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:42.019
okay with it his daddy they seen with other people

00:34:42.019 --> 00:34:44.760
a lot and Sebastian doesn't need that as part

00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:46.619
of their relationship but he knows that Jamie

00:34:46.619 --> 00:34:48.940
does and so he's totally cool with that once

00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:51.840
they all get together Sebastian and Neil end

00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:55.199
up watching Jamie with another partner a lot

00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:58.719
of times okay yeah no one touches Neil except

00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:03.460
daddy Sebastian is the daddy and also the agender

00:35:03.460 --> 00:35:07.230
character he uses he pronouns he doesn't really

00:35:07.230 --> 00:35:11.989
care about gender is the thing yeah we have Jamie

00:35:11.989 --> 00:35:17.510
who is a femme gender flexible brat he's such

00:35:17.510 --> 00:35:20.670
a brat I love him yes and then we have Neil who

00:35:20.670 --> 00:35:25.570
is our sweet boy we love them all yes he's a

00:35:25.570 --> 00:35:28.670
perfect compliment to Jamie and then I have a

00:35:28.670 --> 00:35:31.230
couple of little quotes here about Sebastian's

00:35:31.230 --> 00:35:33.769
agender identity and it's Jamie talking to Neil

00:35:33.769 --> 00:35:36.449
about it the first one is he doesn't identify

00:35:36.449 --> 00:35:39.369
with any gender i think he wishes all the genders

00:35:39.369 --> 00:35:42.469
would just go away and that's exactly how i feel

00:35:42.469 --> 00:35:46.809
i remember reading that for the first time and

00:35:46.809 --> 00:35:52.449
being like yeah yeah i actually think that this

00:35:52.449 --> 00:35:54.469
book is the reason why i learned that a gender

00:35:54.469 --> 00:35:57.210
was a thing and that i was like oh that's me

00:35:57.210 --> 00:36:02.460
representation Yeah, so there's that one. And

00:36:02.460 --> 00:36:04.320
then there's another one. And this one I relate

00:36:04.320 --> 00:36:07.659
to even more. It says, Daddy thinks of gender

00:36:07.659 --> 00:36:15.679
as an incomprehensible annoyance. Same. I love

00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:17.780
those quotes. I think about them all the time.

00:36:18.099 --> 00:36:23.239
Yeah, there is. bondage shibari there's like

00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:25.820
a little bit of public play right yes there is

00:36:25.820 --> 00:36:29.219
the communication is top tier some other tropes

00:36:29.219 --> 00:36:32.260
and kinks we have spanking a lot of praise there's

00:36:32.260 --> 00:36:35.519
wax play in this one there's wax play in my book

00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:39.699
too oh wow what a small world we're just all

00:36:39.699 --> 00:36:43.239
on the same wavelength it seems yeah there is

00:36:43.239 --> 00:36:47.659
objectification and there is marking in this

00:36:47.659 --> 00:36:51.489
book And in parentheses, I made sure to specify

00:36:51.489 --> 00:36:58.030
with cum, not hickeys. Thank you for your clarification.

00:36:58.449 --> 00:37:00.929
You're welcome. I felt it was important to note.

00:37:01.829 --> 00:37:04.170
So this book is just really sweet. The way that

00:37:04.170 --> 00:37:06.150
they all communicate with each other is really

00:37:06.150 --> 00:37:08.230
great. I just I love this book so much. It's

00:37:08.230 --> 00:37:11.429
one of my favorites of all time. Those are those

00:37:11.429 --> 00:37:14.190
are the books that I picked as my little representation

00:37:14.190 --> 00:37:20.300
dives. Yay. Kit, what were yours? Okay, so I

00:37:20.300 --> 00:37:23.960
pick You're Not My King by Erin Hawke. I love

00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:27.730
that book. The character in it is Ruben, or Roo

00:37:27.730 --> 00:37:31.110
is his pet name. He has a lot of trauma and he's

00:37:31.110 --> 00:37:36.489
also an ADHD -er like I am. Yay! Yes, we're all

00:37:36.489 --> 00:37:38.469
ADHD in this house. I'll tell you a bit about

00:37:38.469 --> 00:37:40.889
the book first and then I'll talk about Ruben.

00:37:40.969 --> 00:37:43.550
So for anybody who's not read it, it is a sci

00:37:43.550 --> 00:37:46.789
-fi romance. Basically, Ruben is captured by

00:37:46.789 --> 00:37:52.170
aliens accidentally. Oops! Yep. And supposed

00:37:52.170 --> 00:37:54.789
to be taking the brightest people from Earth.

00:37:56.380 --> 00:37:58.440
They decide that Ruben doesn't quite meet that

00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:01.559
standard. Bless him. It's so insulting. Oh, my

00:38:01.559 --> 00:38:05.260
God. It really is. Me too. I should say this

00:38:05.260 --> 00:38:09.139
is a comedy. So he has sent a planet. Fuck you.

00:38:12.219 --> 00:38:14.579
Where he's claimed as the fated mate of the Lizard

00:38:14.579 --> 00:38:18.539
King. Who is very hot. So hot. And he has a tail.

00:38:18.719 --> 00:38:23.699
Oh my god. Yeah. Tasty. He is so tasty. Oh my

00:38:23.699 --> 00:38:27.199
god. So our Lizard King is called Voak. Voak

00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:30.179
knows that Ruben is coming. Because he can sense

00:38:30.179 --> 00:38:33.500
him from outer space. But Ruben has no idea.

00:38:33.659 --> 00:38:36.840
He's just been landed on this planet. Pissed

00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:41.059
off. Oh, so pissed off with the whole thing.

00:38:41.059 --> 00:38:42.599
I mean, I would be too. I related to him a lot

00:38:42.599 --> 00:38:45.780
from this book too. I was like, damn, same bro,

00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:50.960
same. Angry kitten. Yep, angry kitten, 100%.

00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:55.659
He was told that his new owners would be there

00:38:55.659 --> 00:38:59.039
to collect him soon, basically. Which pissed

00:38:59.039 --> 00:39:05.019
him off more. Yep. This band of... lizard people

00:39:05.019 --> 00:39:10.039
arrived collected him kind of didn't quite sling

00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:12.619
him over the shoulder but may as well have yeah

00:39:12.619 --> 00:39:15.059
and off they went on like a two -day trek or

00:39:15.059 --> 00:39:17.219
something ridiculous and he does not do exercise

00:39:17.219 --> 00:39:23.579
hard relate yeah right so he arrives in camp

00:39:23.579 --> 00:39:26.739
and finds out that he's about to be married yay

00:39:26.739 --> 00:39:30.679
yep to right away so there's a whole forced marriage

00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:33.789
situation uh which he's not pleased about but

00:39:33.789 --> 00:39:36.809
then he meets the guy and he's like okay i can

00:39:36.809 --> 00:39:42.869
work with this um i guess if i have yeah if i

00:39:42.869 --> 00:39:45.650
absolutely have to they get the wedding over

00:39:45.650 --> 00:39:48.570
with and they have this epic sex fest right oh

00:39:48.570 --> 00:39:55.809
my god a sex fest the spice is so good it's so

00:39:55.809 --> 00:39:58.130
good but they don't speak each other's language

00:39:58.909 --> 00:40:01.190
because the aliens who captured him were like,

00:40:01.309 --> 00:40:06.690
you don't get a translator. Bye. So he doesn't

00:40:06.690 --> 00:40:10.489
know what a knot is. Suddenly this thing starts

00:40:10.489 --> 00:40:14.030
growing in his ass, mid -sex. And he's like,

00:40:14.090 --> 00:40:19.449
what the fuck is that? Yeah, so he's sore for

00:40:19.449 --> 00:40:21.469
days afterwards. He's not very thrilled about

00:40:21.469 --> 00:40:24.570
this. And Voic is like, oh shit, I hurt my human.

00:40:24.730 --> 00:40:28.079
I should stay away for a bit. so there is one

00:40:28.079 --> 00:40:29.860
other human in the camp and she's been there

00:40:29.860 --> 00:40:32.900
for 10 years or something and she speaks lizard

00:40:32.900 --> 00:40:35.539
and she's also been teaching some of them english

00:40:35.539 --> 00:40:38.679
so we find out that voak has been going to her

00:40:38.679 --> 00:40:41.239
and she's been teaching him english so each time

00:40:41.239 --> 00:40:43.800
we see him he speaks more and more unfortunately

00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:49.219
he uses most of it for dirty talk for the important

00:40:49.219 --> 00:40:54.519
stuff and it's so fucking dirty dude it really

00:40:54.519 --> 00:40:59.210
is yeah Ruben is pretty lonely. Him and Voak

00:40:59.210 --> 00:41:02.050
do bicker quite a lot but they also have a lot

00:41:02.050 --> 00:41:06.659
of very hot sex. I'll tell you some of my favorite

00:41:06.659 --> 00:41:09.960
bits of the story so Rue teaches Voak to crochet

00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:13.199
which is just the sweetest moment because the

00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:15.639
whole thing is Voak really feels this like mate

00:41:15.639 --> 00:41:17.619
bond with Ruben he says it a couple of times

00:41:17.619 --> 00:41:19.619
he's like just want to spend time with my who

00:41:19.619 --> 00:41:25.909
man oh my god yeah he says that They literally

00:41:25.909 --> 00:41:27.869
just sit on the ground and Ruben's just there

00:41:27.869 --> 00:41:30.570
teaching him to crochet. And it's so cute. Yeah.

00:41:30.650 --> 00:41:33.889
I love that whole scene. And they make a scarf

00:41:33.889 --> 00:41:36.050
together. Ruben eventually gives Slovak that

00:41:36.050 --> 00:41:39.050
scarf. And it's like his most treasured possession.

00:41:39.289 --> 00:41:43.030
Yeah. He wears it all day, even though he's really

00:41:43.030 --> 00:41:44.630
hot in it, because it smells of the two of them.

00:41:44.690 --> 00:41:46.750
And then when he can't wear it anymore, he keeps

00:41:46.750 --> 00:41:50.469
it on his belt forever. It's so cute. Ruben is

00:41:50.469 --> 00:41:53.110
also, he's really sassy, okay? He's been being

00:41:53.110 --> 00:41:57.039
called Kakaruka by... it's like this this alien

00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:00.119
pet name and he thinks it's really sweet he's

00:42:00.119 --> 00:42:05.000
like yay i got a pet name and then one day he

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:07.179
wakes up and there's this little carving of this

00:42:07.179 --> 00:42:10.599
really cute bug next to his bed and he's like

00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:13.340
oh this is really nice voak made me something

00:42:13.340 --> 00:42:17.019
tells him to go and find voak and it's like you

00:42:17.019 --> 00:42:19.360
made me this thank you so much and then he taps

00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:24.519
the bug and he goes and at that point it clicks

00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:27.340
and he's like you've been calling me a cockroach

00:42:29.289 --> 00:42:35.110
oh my god he's so mad at him so mad he's like

00:42:35.110 --> 00:42:37.170
this whole time i thought you were being sweet

00:42:37.170 --> 00:42:41.969
and you were calling me a disgusting bug but

00:42:41.969 --> 00:42:45.110
the way that the voax sweet talks him after that

00:42:45.110 --> 00:42:47.849
oh my god gets him to come around and he's trying

00:42:47.849 --> 00:42:49.929
to pretend to be mad and pouty still and it's

00:42:49.929 --> 00:42:54.230
just oh their whole dynamic i love it so much

00:42:55.210 --> 00:42:58.110
oh I love that book it was so good okay so Rue

00:42:58.110 --> 00:43:00.429
is really sassy as I say I love it his whole

00:43:00.429 --> 00:43:04.210
attitude and he's really like snarky in his head

00:43:04.210 --> 00:43:08.150
which yeah not gonna lie same and you've probably

00:43:08.150 --> 00:43:12.050
noticed it a bit on the podcast as well so the

00:43:12.050 --> 00:43:16.750
reasons that I I love Ruben and I relate to him

00:43:16.750 --> 00:43:20.630
are first off blanket burrito because let's face

00:43:20.630 --> 00:43:23.349
it we're all like oh aliens come and save me

00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:27.239
If we got taken to a random planet, no central

00:43:27.239 --> 00:43:30.239
heating, no electricity, nobody speaks our language,

00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:35.139
I would also be in a blanket burrito. for a long

00:43:35.139 --> 00:43:38.880
time yeah i'm usually in a blanket burrito and

00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:42.659
i don't even have that going on i love my blankets

00:43:42.659 --> 00:43:45.340
i live in southern california and i'm a blanket

00:43:45.340 --> 00:43:50.280
burrito all the time he's just so scared of change

00:43:50.280 --> 00:43:52.719
and the unknown and i know that people do struggle

00:43:52.719 --> 00:43:55.349
with this about character but He has ADHD and

00:43:55.349 --> 00:43:57.150
he's possibly autistic as well. For a lot of

00:43:57.150 --> 00:43:59.789
the book, he's trying to go home and he sees

00:43:59.789 --> 00:44:02.449
that as the last place that he was happy and

00:44:02.449 --> 00:44:05.889
stable before he had this awful traumatic relationship.

00:44:06.150 --> 00:44:08.409
Like his brain physically can't understand that.

00:44:08.469 --> 00:44:11.570
That his life wasn't very good. Yes, that things

00:44:11.570 --> 00:44:13.989
will never be the same, even if he goes back.

00:44:14.190 --> 00:44:16.949
Wasn't his life on earth like really shitty too

00:44:16.949 --> 00:44:18.969
though? Like, yeah, he got abducted while he

00:44:18.969 --> 00:44:21.369
was arguing with his sister about like something.

00:44:21.530 --> 00:44:23.650
He literally just come to try and like reconnect.

00:44:23.820 --> 00:44:25.599
with his sister she didn't really want anything

00:44:25.599 --> 00:44:28.039
to do with him no and like he sees the relief

00:44:28.039 --> 00:44:30.219
in her eyes that he's being taken and not her

00:44:30.219 --> 00:44:34.039
yeah and it's just really sad yeah he really

00:44:34.039 --> 00:44:36.619
struggles to change his course once he's set

00:44:36.619 --> 00:44:40.460
it and he's got such low self -esteem like He

00:44:40.460 --> 00:44:42.840
struggles in some ways. So academics, the aliens,

00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:45.000
no, he was never strong in school. But because

00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:46.960
he struggled in those very specific ways and

00:44:46.960 --> 00:44:48.820
in reality, he never got the support that he

00:44:48.820 --> 00:44:50.699
needed in school because I don't think he was

00:44:50.699 --> 00:44:52.920
ever diagnosed. He thinks he's stupid and he's

00:44:52.920 --> 00:44:54.719
incredibly down on himself. He calls himself

00:44:54.719 --> 00:44:57.099
lazy and all of this. But the reality... He beats

00:44:57.099 --> 00:44:59.659
himself up a lot. He beats himself up so much.

00:44:59.679 --> 00:45:01.980
And it's like, you're traumatized. You're a divergent

00:45:01.980 --> 00:45:03.860
person who's completely overwhelmed by the situation

00:45:03.860 --> 00:45:05.699
that they're in. A very understandably overwhelming

00:45:05.699 --> 00:45:10.480
situation. Right? He has this real need to feel

00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:13.380
secure and wanted. And I think a lot of us with

00:45:13.380 --> 00:45:15.679
ADHD and a lot of us with trauma really understand

00:45:15.679 --> 00:45:20.280
that need. It is a comedy and so much of it is

00:45:20.280 --> 00:45:22.989
really funny. But Erin does such an amazing job

00:45:22.989 --> 00:45:26.710
of showing what it is like to be traumatized

00:45:26.710 --> 00:45:30.809
and to be neurodivergent and to have those aspects

00:45:30.809 --> 00:45:34.110
that are not like we're not always super quirky

00:45:34.110 --> 00:45:36.250
and fun and the kind of things that get portrayed

00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:38.929
on the mainstream media. Not a superpower. Exactly.

00:45:38.989 --> 00:45:41.690
So, yeah, just as someone who has struggled with

00:45:41.690 --> 00:45:44.159
low self -esteem. And a lot of that coming from

00:45:44.159 --> 00:45:47.340
my struggles with being ADHD and autistic. I

00:45:47.340 --> 00:45:49.940
think I was 28 when I was diagnosed. Like I had

00:45:49.940 --> 00:45:52.500
serious problems with my self -esteem and with

00:45:52.500 --> 00:45:55.059
calling myself all of these words like lazy and

00:45:55.059 --> 00:45:56.639
like, you know, like a terrible person basically

00:45:56.639 --> 00:45:58.760
because I was struggling. I barely graduated

00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:00.559
high school because I wasn't diagnosed until

00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:03.860
I was 17. In America, parents send out like announcements

00:46:03.860 --> 00:46:06.380
saying, hey, Megan's graduating, come send her

00:46:06.380 --> 00:46:09.559
money. You know, my parents didn't even send

00:46:09.559 --> 00:46:11.690
those out. because they didn't know if i was

00:46:11.690 --> 00:46:13.510
going to graduate because i struggled so hard

00:46:13.510 --> 00:46:15.989
and so yeah you do have the issues with self

00:46:15.989 --> 00:46:18.050
-esteem thinking you're dumb people accusing

00:46:18.050 --> 00:46:20.789
you of being lazy because you forget your brain

00:46:20.789 --> 00:46:23.030
literally cannot grasp the stuff it needs to

00:46:23.030 --> 00:46:25.750
do sometimes you know and it's easy to look at

00:46:25.750 --> 00:46:27.710
yourself like the way that you're doing and look

00:46:27.710 --> 00:46:30.469
at somebody who maybe isn't neurodivergent or

00:46:30.469 --> 00:46:32.190
doesn't struggle in the same way that you struggle

00:46:32.190 --> 00:46:33.969
and see them excel and be like why can't i just

00:46:33.969 --> 00:46:36.289
do it like it's so simple why can't i just do

00:46:36.289 --> 00:46:39.179
this but that's not especially when you have

00:46:39.179 --> 00:46:42.000
been diagnosed yeah exactly and i think there

00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:43.440
are people who are like why can't reuben just

00:46:43.440 --> 00:46:45.760
get over the idea of going back to work why can't

00:46:45.760 --> 00:46:47.559
he just settle in with varak but it's like that's

00:46:47.559 --> 00:46:49.340
not the way his brain works that's not how it

00:46:49.340 --> 00:46:53.000
works yeah alex always equates adhd autism any

00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:55.559
nerve divergent brain he always says basically

00:46:55.559 --> 00:46:57.900
what you have is your brain is missing a bridge

00:46:57.900 --> 00:47:00.199
right and he's like you can send as many soldiers

00:47:00.199 --> 00:47:03.059
to that bridge as you can to try to fix the issue

00:47:03.059 --> 00:47:05.460
but it's not there the problem is there's no

00:47:05.460 --> 00:47:07.849
bridge they're not getting across They're not

00:47:07.849 --> 00:47:09.809
getting a cost because your brain is missing

00:47:09.809 --> 00:47:12.989
that bridge. You can appear lazy like all day

00:47:12.989 --> 00:47:14.989
and you can do everything in the world to try

00:47:14.989 --> 00:47:16.969
to fix it. But the fact is, there's no bridge

00:47:16.969 --> 00:47:19.389
there. Exactly. You know, it's not something

00:47:19.389 --> 00:47:22.170
to quote, quote, fix. And you are not an architect,

00:47:22.230 --> 00:47:25.489
so you cannot make the bridge appear. Exactly.

00:47:26.590 --> 00:47:31.050
Yeah, that's it, 100%. So yeah, that is why I

00:47:31.050 --> 00:47:34.599
chose You're Not My King. And the other book

00:47:34.599 --> 00:47:37.320
that I've got is The Flowered Blade by Taylor

00:47:37.320 --> 00:47:39.980
Hubbard, which is a high fantasy romance, which

00:47:39.980 --> 00:47:43.440
is an elf and an orc, essentially captive ex

00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:46.480
-captor. An elf prince gets kidnapped on the

00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:49.480
way back to his castle by the orc chief. a ransom

00:47:49.480 --> 00:47:52.019
note is sent to the king of the elves to say

00:47:52.019 --> 00:47:54.639
heed our wishes which is stop tormenting our

00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:56.800
city leave us alone in terms of taxes and stuff

00:47:56.800 --> 00:47:58.760
or we will kill your son that's that's one way

00:47:58.760 --> 00:48:02.599
to make your demands i guess yeah because the

00:48:02.599 --> 00:48:05.380
taxes have been absolutely destroying their economy

00:48:05.380 --> 00:48:07.800
like yeah they're dying out because they're starving

00:48:07.800 --> 00:48:10.659
yeah they can no longer afford to live yes most

00:48:10.659 --> 00:48:14.519
of the book we don't hit back and At first you

00:48:14.519 --> 00:48:17.239
have the about week -long travel to the city,

00:48:17.340 --> 00:48:20.780
and then Sylvia, the elf, is mostly being kept

00:48:20.780 --> 00:48:24.599
captive in the house with Brokkil, the orc chief.

00:48:24.719 --> 00:48:26.820
So there's extreme dislike to lovers, but also

00:48:26.820 --> 00:48:29.260
insta -lust. But also it's kind of like, what

00:48:29.260 --> 00:48:33.860
is this feeling I'm feeling? Anyway, so... Also,

00:48:33.900 --> 00:48:37.639
this book has the most gorgeous cover. yes it

00:48:37.639 --> 00:48:40.500
is such a pretty cover yes but yet so uh some

00:48:40.500 --> 00:48:42.920
of the other tropes in it are only one bird fuck

00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:44.639
him like you're punishing him while calling him

00:48:44.639 --> 00:48:49.619
a good boy oh my god picnics in the meadow um

00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:52.340
nursing back to hell i love that one huge hog

00:48:52.340 --> 00:48:59.260
huge hog lots of banter and not feeling lonely

00:48:59.260 --> 00:49:02.199
for the first time ever but i want to talk about

00:49:02.199 --> 00:49:04.519
this one for two reasons the first is the trans

00:49:04.519 --> 00:49:07.440
rep so sylvia is actually a trans masc character

00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:10.980
and this was the first book that i read where

00:49:10.980 --> 00:49:14.420
there was a trans masc main character who hadn't

00:49:14.420 --> 00:49:17.119
had bottom surgery really embraced their feminine

00:49:17.119 --> 00:49:20.539
side but was still extremely uh secure in their

00:49:20.539 --> 00:49:22.380
gender as a masculine person. And it was at a

00:49:22.380 --> 00:49:25.099
point where I was really struggling with dysphoria.

00:49:25.300 --> 00:49:28.719
I could not deal with the fact that I hadn't

00:49:28.719 --> 00:49:31.139
had any surgery. And with the fact that, yes,

00:49:31.159 --> 00:49:33.579
I still embrace or I still wanted to embrace

00:49:33.579 --> 00:49:36.039
some parts of my femininity. This book was a

00:49:36.039 --> 00:49:37.659
massive turning point in my life for that. And

00:49:37.659 --> 00:49:39.199
it really helped me up. Like, Sylvia's character

00:49:39.199 --> 00:49:41.579
really helped me accept myself a lot more. Yay.

00:49:41.760 --> 00:49:43.940
Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of pressure on

00:49:43.940 --> 00:49:46.659
transmasculine people to become hypermasculine.

00:49:46.659 --> 00:49:49.179
And the same transfeminine people to become hyperfeminine.

00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:51.199
and you don't have to like Sylvia's character

00:49:51.199 --> 00:49:54.440
still being able to go and like flowers and you

00:49:54.440 --> 00:49:56.340
know want to play in the meadow and you know

00:49:56.340 --> 00:49:58.699
have long hair and wear flowing clothes and that

00:49:58.699 --> 00:50:01.019
just really made a difference be soft be soft

00:50:01.019 --> 00:50:03.920
yeah exactly but still be fundamentally masculine

00:50:03.920 --> 00:50:07.519
and like um Sylvia even uses female anatomy names

00:50:07.519 --> 00:50:10.079
for their body parts so he's had top surgery

00:50:10.079 --> 00:50:11.780
but he's not had bottom surgery possibly even

00:50:11.780 --> 00:50:14.480
a little more kind of on the scale possibly more

00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:17.320
feminine than I am but still very much a masculine

00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:19.360
character But it just really helped me. I love

00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:22.000
that. Yeah. I love that. It just, that book really

00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:23.820
has a special place in my heart. And then again,

00:50:24.079 --> 00:50:27.119
Sylvia is also autistic and has depression. And

00:50:27.119 --> 00:50:29.000
the representation in this book is just fantastic.

00:50:29.420 --> 00:50:32.239
So Sylvia can't work out anybody's intentions,

00:50:32.659 --> 00:50:35.440
really struggles to basically read people, assumes

00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:38.719
that everybody is... I get that. Right? I find

00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:43.900
that so hard. And the same as me, Sylvia assumes

00:50:43.900 --> 00:50:46.360
that everybody is judging him and secretly mocking

00:50:46.360 --> 00:50:52.260
him. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah. Bullseye,

00:50:52.360 --> 00:50:57.059
baby. Yep. Straight for the heart. Oh, God, it's

00:50:57.059 --> 00:50:59.000
horrible, isn't it? It's so hard to live like

00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:02.579
that. And it sucks so bad. Yep. Right? And then

00:51:02.579 --> 00:51:05.780
it raises your anxiety. And Silver's really bad

00:51:05.780 --> 00:51:08.659
at hiding his feelings, his emotions. He's got

00:51:08.659 --> 00:51:13.219
no mask at all, and he's a bad liar. I feel that.

00:51:17.319 --> 00:51:19.280
It's funny because once you start unmasking,

00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:22.960
you unmask everything. Yes, exactly. And it's

00:51:22.960 --> 00:51:24.699
so draining when you try and mask. And I think

00:51:24.699 --> 00:51:27.239
you do see that with Sylvia as well. It's just

00:51:27.239 --> 00:51:29.739
like, oh my God, I've got a mask. Are you kidding

00:51:29.739 --> 00:51:33.880
me? But then he's got these special interests.

00:51:33.980 --> 00:51:36.440
So his special interest is like nature and specifically

00:51:36.440 --> 00:51:39.750
plants using for healing. But it really brings

00:51:39.750 --> 00:51:42.289
him joy and calm and balances him to be like

00:51:42.289 --> 00:51:46.530
studying plants and studying healing. And he

00:51:46.530 --> 00:51:48.090
feels really lost and depressed without access

00:51:48.090 --> 00:51:50.510
to that. Which, again, like if I didn't have

00:51:50.510 --> 00:51:54.510
access to my books, like it is a bad day. And

00:51:54.510 --> 00:51:56.050
then when he like he wants to know everything

00:51:56.050 --> 00:51:57.869
about the things that interest him and his mind

00:51:57.869 --> 00:52:00.429
is always working. When he's hyper -focused in,

00:52:00.510 --> 00:52:03.710
like, loses time, doesn't know what's going on.

00:52:03.730 --> 00:52:06.429
Oh, my God, the sun has set. That kind of thing.

00:52:06.650 --> 00:52:10.670
When did that happen? For real. I really love

00:52:10.670 --> 00:52:13.630
The Flower Blade. It's a fantastic book. It will

00:52:13.630 --> 00:52:17.150
make you cry. The angst is through the roof because

00:52:17.150 --> 00:52:20.389
Sylvia, he hates himself because everybody around

00:52:20.389 --> 00:52:23.829
him has always acted like he is nothing. And

00:52:23.829 --> 00:52:30.780
he has very much internalised that. but it's

00:52:30.780 --> 00:52:33.800
so good it's so worth it and I definitely recommend

00:52:33.800 --> 00:52:37.519
so yeah those are the books that I chose for

00:52:37.519 --> 00:52:42.000
this deep dive hello everybody my name is Megan

00:52:42.000 --> 00:52:50.829
and I am here with Megan hi Megan hello um so

00:52:50.829 --> 00:52:54.869
both books i chose for this week have bdsm and

00:52:54.869 --> 00:52:58.690
king sings in them um so the book i have chosen

00:52:58.690 --> 00:53:04.909
is called doll parts by cara d yes pause for

00:53:04.909 --> 00:53:07.349
applause i need to read this book i need to read

00:53:07.349 --> 00:53:10.960
this series too yes you do yes well you guys

00:53:10.960 --> 00:53:12.519
are going to be forced to read the second book

00:53:12.519 --> 00:53:15.219
next month just just saying oh perfect really

00:53:15.219 --> 00:53:19.900
oh my god oh my god i'm actually glad because

00:53:19.900 --> 00:53:22.900
i feel like i keep not doing it and i don't know

00:53:22.900 --> 00:53:27.360
why the covers are a bit intimidating like the

00:53:27.360 --> 00:53:29.730
covers make it seem look like it's like a dark

00:53:29.730 --> 00:53:32.030
yeah but i don't care about that romance but

00:53:32.030 --> 00:53:38.170
i know yeah so doll parts is the fourth book

00:53:38.170 --> 00:53:40.369
in the game series it's like one of my all -time

00:53:40.369 --> 00:53:43.309
favorite series i love it so much and it was

00:53:43.309 --> 00:53:45.489
also like the series that introduced me to a

00:53:45.489 --> 00:53:47.809
bunch of different kinks like it was my awakening

00:53:47.809 --> 00:53:52.269
yay you know and so this was my first foray into

00:53:52.269 --> 00:53:56.219
age play and just quick note on that We do not

00:53:56.219 --> 00:53:59.059
kink shame. If you don't like age play, maybe

00:53:59.059 --> 00:54:02.099
don't read it or maybe even take a step and try

00:54:02.099 --> 00:54:06.320
to research as to why age play is a kink that

00:54:06.320 --> 00:54:08.679
people like to explore. Your kink is not my kink

00:54:08.679 --> 00:54:11.079
and that's okay. Yes, exactly. And I know that

00:54:11.079 --> 00:54:14.659
people tend to see age play as a way for perverts

00:54:14.659 --> 00:54:18.260
to act out incestual, statutory assault. That

00:54:18.260 --> 00:54:21.260
is not the case. And if you think that, go read

00:54:21.260 --> 00:54:24.119
an article. yeah exactly it has to do with power

00:54:24.119 --> 00:54:26.840
exchange play and being a little allows a person

00:54:26.840 --> 00:54:30.659
who is consenting and of age to kind of let go

00:54:30.659 --> 00:54:33.659
of the burdens of adulthood and and work and

00:54:33.659 --> 00:54:36.719
anxiety and being a daddy allows somebody who

00:54:36.719 --> 00:54:40.699
is consenting and of age to be the more caretaking

00:54:40.699 --> 00:54:44.940
nurturing partner that is often shamed in in

00:54:44.940 --> 00:54:48.860
our society as elements of and we will be coming

00:54:48.860 --> 00:54:52.250
back to this in a few weeks exactly i'm not gonna

00:54:52.250 --> 00:54:54.050
i'm not gonna touch too much on it but just wanted

00:54:54.050 --> 00:54:58.989
to like prep everybody prep you guys thoroughly

00:54:58.989 --> 00:55:04.489
um ready for the entire fifth thank you daddy

00:55:04.489 --> 00:55:09.400
megan You're welcome. But yeah, so age play just

00:55:09.400 --> 00:55:12.639
allows each partner to drop their emotional walls

00:55:12.639 --> 00:55:15.139
and to truly be vulnerable with their partner

00:55:15.139 --> 00:55:18.300
in play. And so this book has some, a lot of

00:55:18.300 --> 00:55:20.719
the books in this series have age play, not all

00:55:20.719 --> 00:55:23.679
of them. And it's not the biggest element of

00:55:23.679 --> 00:55:28.219
each book. So Doll Parts is a contemporary BDSM

00:55:28.219 --> 00:55:31.079
romance. It is not erotica, even though there

00:55:31.079 --> 00:55:33.960
is quite a few really hot spice scenes in it.

00:55:34.360 --> 00:55:37.079
It is also a slice of life. life which we love

00:55:37.079 --> 00:55:40.480
we love a slice of life i love it so much and

00:55:40.480 --> 00:55:45.820
this one is a mmm poly relationship yes and it's

00:55:45.820 --> 00:55:49.599
two subs and two dom and so it's noah and his

00:55:49.599 --> 00:55:52.099
boyfriend cameron and they start off as friends

00:55:52.099 --> 00:55:54.880
and then they start dating but they have been

00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:58.340
looking for doms because they're both subs noah

00:55:58.340 --> 00:56:02.559
is more of a little whereas cameron is a service

00:56:02.559 --> 00:56:06.349
yes thank you cameron is a service And they both

00:56:06.349 --> 00:56:09.230
have their eyes on two very specific doms. One

00:56:09.230 --> 00:56:14.849
is Noah's ex -stepdad named Casey. And he is

00:56:14.849 --> 00:56:20.510
a daddy. But also Casey is a sadist. Sadist daddy.

00:56:22.550 --> 00:56:26.369
And then Lucian is a co -founder of the McLean

00:56:26.369 --> 00:56:29.210
House, which is the kink BDSM club that all these

00:56:29.210 --> 00:56:31.530
books kind of take place in. That we wish existed

00:56:31.530 --> 00:56:35.789
in real life. I know. Oh, seriously? Seriously.

00:56:35.829 --> 00:56:39.849
And he's also a master. So Cam has his eye on

00:56:39.849 --> 00:56:42.309
Lucien because Cam's really into high protocol

00:56:42.309 --> 00:56:45.489
and total power exchange. So both these boyfriends

00:56:45.489 --> 00:56:47.989
have their eyes on these two doms. But then also

00:56:47.989 --> 00:56:50.550
throughout the story, everybody kind of crisscrosses

00:56:50.550 --> 00:56:52.889
and gets with everybody. And it's really hot

00:56:52.889 --> 00:56:56.329
and it's really fun. It's done so seamlessly

00:56:56.329 --> 00:56:59.190
and so beautifully that you don't feel like someone's

00:56:59.190 --> 00:57:01.469
feeling left out or there's so much communication.

00:57:01.929 --> 00:57:04.000
It's just love between the four of them. exactly

00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:06.760
like because yeah Casey and Lucien are best friends

00:57:06.760 --> 00:57:10.139
and it's just it's just such a fun fun ride yeah

00:57:10.139 --> 00:57:13.179
and Noah's a pain slut and he's also a little

00:57:13.179 --> 00:57:15.380
but not like constantly he'll slip into a little

00:57:15.380 --> 00:57:18.300
space without really realizing it so the rep

00:57:18.300 --> 00:57:21.940
in this book that I identify with is Noah and

00:57:21.940 --> 00:57:27.780
Noah is a chaos gremlin he's not really diagnosed

00:57:27.780 --> 00:57:30.000
in the book like it doesn't say in the book that

00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:33.260
he has ADHD or autism but I suspect he has And

00:57:33.260 --> 00:57:40.360
he's known for the lack of filter between his

00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:43.820
brain and his mouth. It often just blurts out

00:57:43.820 --> 00:57:46.139
the first thing that comes to his mind. Who does

00:57:46.139 --> 00:57:53.500
that remind me of? He also has a slight inability

00:57:53.500 --> 00:57:57.579
to take certain things too seriously. So like

00:57:57.579 --> 00:57:59.360
if it's a situation where he's feeling kind of

00:57:59.360 --> 00:58:01.320
awkward, he will like just come out with a joke.

00:58:01.440 --> 00:58:07.440
Oh, God. yeah whoops and then even then he keeps

00:58:07.440 --> 00:58:09.019
going with the joke it doesn't really take a

00:58:09.019 --> 00:58:18.019
hint that he should maybe shut the fuck up like

00:58:18.019 --> 00:58:21.400
there's a specific scene where the two subs have

00:58:21.400 --> 00:58:24.139
finally gotten the doms in their clutches and

00:58:24.139 --> 00:58:26.159
they invite the doms over to their house for

00:58:26.159 --> 00:58:29.280
dinner and cam loves cooking so that's his thing

00:58:29.280 --> 00:58:31.969
like that's part of what he loves to do his masters

00:58:31.969 --> 00:58:34.409
is cooked so it is lucian's birthday and he wants

00:58:34.409 --> 00:58:36.789
to impress lucian he tells noah to put on a jacket

00:58:36.789 --> 00:58:40.489
and a tie and noah literally just puts on a jacket

00:58:40.489 --> 00:58:44.849
and a tie briefs and it's like oh my god and

00:58:44.849 --> 00:58:47.849
cameron's like yelling at him no just why can't

00:58:47.849 --> 00:58:50.170
you take anything seriously and noah's just laughing

00:58:50.170 --> 00:58:53.730
and and then like there's a part where cameron's

00:58:53.730 --> 00:58:56.550
like we're at defcon 5 and noah's like correcting

00:58:56.550 --> 00:58:58.190
him he's like actually technically it would be

00:58:58.190 --> 00:59:05.190
defcon oh my god and this whole scene is just

00:59:05.190 --> 00:59:10.210
like oh my god i relate to this so bad there's

00:59:10.210 --> 00:59:12.989
another scene where noah says i can't concentrate

00:59:12.989 --> 00:59:16.650
when i think i've disappointed someone oh yeah

00:59:16.650 --> 00:59:21.349
and i was like oh god you too right oh my god

00:59:21.349 --> 00:59:23.750
trying to sleep when i think i've made someone

00:59:23.750 --> 00:59:29.199
mad or sad Oh, God. That anxiety, that pit in

00:59:29.199 --> 00:59:32.340
your stomach. Oh, yeah. He's also a brat. Like

00:59:32.340 --> 00:59:34.500
there was a scene where he was bratting off to

00:59:34.500 --> 00:59:37.300
try to get Lucian to punish him. I think Lucian

00:59:37.300 --> 00:59:40.219
had put his hand on Noah's knee and he was bratting

00:59:40.219 --> 00:59:42.380
off over the phone to Cam and said something

00:59:42.380 --> 00:59:43.940
about Lucian. And he was like, OK, maybe now

00:59:43.940 --> 00:59:48.019
he'll like pinch my balls or something. All Lucian

00:59:48.019 --> 00:59:51.239
did was remove his hand. oh god yeah you know

00:59:51.239 --> 00:59:53.159
noah's just seeing me like oh fuck did i make

00:59:53.159 --> 00:59:55.760
him angry did i upset him and he stops paying

00:59:55.760 --> 00:59:58.000
attention to whatever cam is saying on the phone

00:59:58.000 --> 01:00:00.519
and i'm like i've been there i've said something

01:00:00.519 --> 01:00:04.239
that i think has upset someone and then whatever

01:00:04.239 --> 01:00:06.119
else is going on around me just doesn't exist

01:00:06.119 --> 01:00:10.000
it's gone yep yep yep some of the geeks and tropes

01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:13.719
so like i said it's got the stepdad mc and because

01:00:13.719 --> 01:00:15.659
of that you also have like a hidden relationship

01:00:15.659 --> 01:00:17.860
um and forbidden because the mom doesn't find

01:00:17.860 --> 01:00:21.000
out about that until the end but his mom's also

01:00:21.000 --> 01:00:23.880
an asshole oh good you know we don't like her

01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:29.340
no we do not it has dollification it does so

01:00:29.340 --> 01:00:31.119
it's got it yeah it's got a really hot dollification

01:00:31.119 --> 01:00:35.960
scene it's got sounding oh yeah a public sounding

01:00:35.960 --> 01:00:38.429
demonstration which is really hot i feel like

01:00:38.429 --> 01:00:40.230
i'm the one who's most excited about that out

01:00:40.230 --> 01:00:44.949
of all of us yeah it has a consensual non -consent

01:00:44.949 --> 01:00:48.190
scene if you're in their bed you have it's all

01:00:48.190 --> 01:00:51.610
open it's a free for all like free use yeah do

01:00:51.610 --> 01:00:54.989
whatever you want fee for all in bed so then

01:00:54.989 --> 01:00:57.750
it has somnophilia i love some oh yeah i enjoy

01:00:57.750 --> 01:01:03.050
that me too right reading it it's got the bondage

01:01:03.050 --> 01:01:05.869
and the impact play that sort of thing and then

01:01:05.869 --> 01:01:08.889
so like those are the kinks the tropes are like

01:01:08.889 --> 01:01:11.429
there's great disability rep in it and found

01:01:11.429 --> 01:01:12.989
family because like i said this is the fourth

01:01:12.989 --> 01:01:15.550
book in the series so you have a lot of the other

01:01:15.550 --> 01:01:17.409
people that we've already met in the previous

01:01:17.409 --> 01:01:20.260
book yes all getting together this There's a

01:01:20.260 --> 01:01:22.420
really fun scene where the brats play a prank

01:01:22.420 --> 01:01:27.380
on the doms. Yes. And so that was really fun.

01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:29.360
That's my favorite scene of the whole book. Oh,

01:01:29.360 --> 01:01:32.239
yes. Me too. I know. Me too. They're like, we're

01:01:32.239 --> 01:01:34.619
so proud of you, but you are getting it later.

01:01:35.699 --> 01:01:38.460
Yeah. Kate, who's from the second book, is kind

01:01:38.460 --> 01:01:40.780
of still mouthing off to his daddies. And they're

01:01:40.780 --> 01:01:44.989
just like, uh -huh, keep talking. you're getting

01:01:44.989 --> 01:01:47.309
yourself more and more in trouble and then noah

01:01:47.309 --> 01:01:53.329
simply responds with okay boomer oh my god wow

01:01:53.329 --> 01:01:57.230
he really wants that spanking huh yep yeah exactly

01:01:57.230 --> 01:02:01.190
oh i can't wait for you guys to meet these characters

01:02:01.190 --> 01:02:05.730
i know they're so good they're so good this series

01:02:05.730 --> 01:02:07.789
is so great and we'll probably eventually do

01:02:07.789 --> 01:02:10.780
a deep dive on on all of it yeah And then the

01:02:10.780 --> 01:02:13.380
second book I chose was Inhuman Nature by Mara

01:02:13.380 --> 01:02:18.380
Moore. Who we love. Yes, absolutely. I think

01:02:18.380 --> 01:02:20.139
I'm the only one that hasn't read it yet, but

01:02:20.139 --> 01:02:22.880
I do have it on the TBR. I'm just really slow.

01:02:23.280 --> 01:02:25.860
Yeah, I can't wait till you read it. So yeah,

01:02:25.900 --> 01:02:28.800
this one is a paranormal romance with another

01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:34.699
polyamorous relationship. With one vampire and

01:02:34.699 --> 01:02:38.610
two humans. Yes. And the mute cute is a BDS sub

01:02:38.610 --> 01:02:42.769
club. So we have Rake and DJ and Rake is the

01:02:42.769 --> 01:02:46.909
dom and DJ is the sub. So Rake is autistic and

01:02:46.909 --> 01:02:51.489
DJ has ADHD and also struggles with his body

01:02:51.489 --> 01:02:53.409
image. He's a plus size character. He's just

01:02:53.409 --> 01:02:57.179
got a little belly. We love a belly. Yes. We

01:02:57.179 --> 01:02:59.579
love a belly boy. But he struggles with it because

01:02:59.579 --> 01:03:03.139
his family gives him crap for it, which. We hate.

01:03:03.199 --> 01:03:05.579
We do not appreciate. No, not even a little bit.

01:03:05.579 --> 01:03:08.159
Yes, we do not appreciate. No. And then Sean

01:03:08.159 --> 01:03:11.820
is the vampire who. Total sweetheart. Is a redhead.

01:03:11.860 --> 01:03:15.199
One of my redhead reads. That's what we know

01:03:15.199 --> 01:03:17.440
about him. That's all we would say about him.

01:03:19.579 --> 01:03:22.800
No, Sean's also a sub, though. And just. Hmm.

01:03:23.389 --> 01:03:26.730
it's very sad he the book starts off with him

01:03:26.730 --> 01:03:29.429
chatting online with a man who's claiming that

01:03:29.429 --> 01:03:32.090
he's a vampire but sean is kind of like vampires

01:03:32.090 --> 01:03:35.309
aren't real into twilight and ends up getting

01:03:35.309 --> 01:03:39.530
abducted by this vampire who then forcibly changes

01:03:39.530 --> 01:03:43.739
him yeah Oh, it's so good. But poor Sean. My

01:03:43.739 --> 01:03:48.219
poor baby Sean. Rake and DJ's relationship is

01:03:48.219 --> 01:03:52.300
like so good. Yes, it is. They are green flags

01:03:52.300 --> 01:03:55.119
all the way. Oh my God. Yes, exactly. Like, yeah.

01:03:55.239 --> 01:03:57.880
Yeah. Rake is just such a perfect dom. Like he

01:03:57.880 --> 01:04:00.460
just, his love for DJ and it's just, just like

01:04:00.460 --> 01:04:02.699
beautiful. And the minute they see Sean walk

01:04:02.699 --> 01:04:04.440
in and they're just like, there's that sub again.

01:04:04.559 --> 01:04:06.400
And they like, just want to play with him. And

01:04:06.400 --> 01:04:08.340
they just both instantly want him to be part

01:04:08.340 --> 01:04:10.219
of their relationship, which is just, I love

01:04:10.219 --> 01:04:11.829
it. when that happens in books since rick is

01:04:11.829 --> 01:04:14.869
autistic he struggles with a lot of similar things

01:04:14.869 --> 01:04:17.750
i do like he talks about touching and stuff like

01:04:17.750 --> 01:04:20.190
that so he doesn't like when people touch him

01:04:20.190 --> 01:04:22.030
without without his acknowledgement or without

01:04:22.030 --> 01:04:24.829
his permission um and he there's a part where

01:04:24.829 --> 01:04:26.510
he talks about how he struggles with texture

01:04:26.510 --> 01:04:30.210
and food which i do too yep i like it because

01:04:30.210 --> 01:04:33.829
mara does not make it a huge flashing autistic

01:04:33.829 --> 01:04:36.170
autistic autistic sign above his head you know

01:04:36.170 --> 01:04:39.760
it's just who he is um and then dj's like the

01:04:39.760 --> 01:04:44.059
sunshine just have fun noah 2 .0 you know like

01:04:44.059 --> 01:04:47.159
just blurts whatever is in his head such a golden

01:04:47.159 --> 01:04:49.800
retriever yeah such a golden retriever and so

01:04:49.800 --> 01:04:52.300
i'm like i feel like both of them are just both

01:04:52.300 --> 01:04:55.559
sides of my brain like running into each other

01:04:55.559 --> 01:04:59.139
yeah so yeah this book it's got i think it's

01:04:59.139 --> 01:05:00.539
got it's got a shibari scene it definitely has

01:05:00.539 --> 01:05:05.099
shibari yeah yes It has a shibari scene. Actually,

01:05:05.119 --> 01:05:07.539
I think it's like predicament shibari. It's predicament

01:05:07.539 --> 01:05:10.380
bondage as well. Oh, so good. More predicament

01:05:10.380 --> 01:05:12.739
bondage plays. Seriously, though. Like, for real.

01:05:13.099 --> 01:05:17.039
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's got public

01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:19.599
play, obviously, because they love to do this

01:05:19.599 --> 01:05:22.960
at the club. Yes. It has biting and blood play

01:05:22.960 --> 01:05:27.699
because Sean's a vampire. It has spanking, it

01:05:27.699 --> 01:05:30.039
has edging, and it has a really hot scene at

01:05:30.039 --> 01:05:34.320
the end in a graveyard. yes spooky where blood

01:05:34.320 --> 01:05:38.079
is used as lube oh so good and then book two

01:05:38.079 --> 01:05:40.659
is really great too oh book two is my favorite

01:05:40.659 --> 01:05:43.880
i just i gotta get i gotta get to that one i

01:05:43.880 --> 01:05:45.739
honestly think it's gonna be one of my top 10

01:05:45.739 --> 01:05:47.760
books of the year oh wow i'm putting it out there

01:05:47.760 --> 01:05:51.159
right now yes yeah High praise. It's very good.

01:05:51.199 --> 01:05:53.599
It's so early in the year, too. It's only April.

01:05:53.820 --> 01:05:56.960
I know. I know. Yeah. That's how good these books

01:05:56.960 --> 01:05:59.320
are. She does a really good job of including

01:05:59.320 --> 01:06:03.000
really funny scenes and humor and sweet scenes,

01:06:03.139 --> 01:06:04.840
like really sweet. Yeah, there's a lot of really

01:06:04.840 --> 01:06:08.519
good humor in it. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, those

01:06:08.519 --> 01:06:11.920
were my picks. What about you, Katie? OK, for

01:06:11.920 --> 01:06:14.940
my books, I flip flopped around a lot, but I

01:06:14.940 --> 01:06:16.519
didn't want to pick books that were like super

01:06:16.519 --> 01:06:20.219
sad or like I didn't want it to just be downers

01:06:20.219 --> 01:06:22.320
on the stuff that I was going to like talk about.

01:06:22.340 --> 01:06:24.820
I didn't want to bring the mood down. And then

01:06:24.820 --> 01:06:29.849
so my first book. I decided to do one of my favorites.

01:06:30.010 --> 01:06:33.570
It's Emily Antoinette's Behold Her. Yes. I always

01:06:33.570 --> 01:06:36.349
credit Emily Antoinette to like bringing me to

01:06:36.349 --> 01:06:39.130
Bookstagram because I started reading romance

01:06:39.130 --> 01:06:41.510
like a few years ago. And then I was like on

01:06:41.510 --> 01:06:43.690
Facebook and stuff. I didn't even get on Instagram

01:06:43.690 --> 01:06:46.190
for a while. And then I discovered Emily Antoinette

01:06:46.190 --> 01:06:49.429
and joined. her discord and through there i discovered

01:06:49.429 --> 01:06:53.010
instagram and bookstagram and everyone on the

01:06:53.010 --> 01:06:55.230
discord encouraged me and i started a bookstagram

01:06:55.230 --> 01:06:57.230
and like it opened this whole world to me and

01:06:57.230 --> 01:07:00.829
it was yeah i'm so glad you did thank you emily

01:07:00.829 --> 01:07:03.889
thank you for bringing me my bestest friends

01:07:03.889 --> 01:07:08.840
it's been a great time and the other two but

01:07:08.840 --> 01:07:13.739
beholder is one of my favorites it is a really

01:07:13.739 --> 01:07:17.519
spicy really fun um kind of like stalkery monster

01:07:17.519 --> 01:07:22.420
romance yeah yeah so you've got max who is a

01:07:22.420 --> 01:07:25.380
succubus slash witch and then you've got mona

01:07:25.380 --> 01:07:29.460
who is a beautiful plus -size lady i love her

01:07:29.460 --> 01:07:33.280
and i've seen this cover oh my gosh okay side

01:07:33.280 --> 01:07:36.369
note Every single one of Emily Antoinette's covers

01:07:36.369 --> 01:07:40.190
are my favorite because her artist Fires, just

01:07:40.190 --> 01:07:43.110
shout out, like amazing book covers. So good.

01:07:43.349 --> 01:07:46.389
Anyways, again, it's like kind of stalkery romance.

01:07:46.429 --> 01:07:50.849
Essentially, Max is like a PI and he's like investigating

01:07:50.849 --> 01:07:54.309
something in Mona's apartment complex and just

01:07:54.309 --> 01:07:57.550
happens to keep parking outside of her house

01:07:57.550 --> 01:08:00.570
or her apartment. It's like her next door neighbor,

01:08:00.650 --> 01:08:03.539
isn't it? Yeah, like the downstairs. are under

01:08:03.539 --> 01:08:07.219
but she doesn't know that and organically they

01:08:07.219 --> 01:08:10.199
actually run into each other outside of the outside

01:08:10.199 --> 01:08:12.360
of the apartment complex um and like they're

01:08:12.360 --> 01:08:14.360
very drawn to each other they're very like oh

01:08:14.360 --> 01:08:17.239
who's this guy like who's this girl there's an

01:08:17.239 --> 01:08:21.180
instant connection and oh sorry mona does not

01:08:21.180 --> 01:08:23.960
know about monsters does not know about magic

01:08:23.960 --> 01:08:26.300
like it's very much one of those books where

01:08:26.300 --> 01:08:28.920
monsters are hidden um and there's like this

01:08:28.920 --> 01:08:31.850
whole secret society of monsters that like all

01:08:31.850 --> 01:08:33.369
the monsters know about but there's very few

01:08:33.369 --> 01:08:36.229
humans in the know and so she doesn't know she

01:08:36.229 --> 01:08:39.810
doesn't know that he is a succubus or that anything

01:08:39.810 --> 01:08:41.949
like that exists but i chose this book because

01:08:41.949 --> 01:08:44.369
i wanted to talk about mona and her struggles

01:08:44.369 --> 01:08:46.449
with like depression because it's a really big

01:08:46.449 --> 01:08:48.789
part of the book the beginning of the book kind

01:08:48.789 --> 01:08:50.850
of starts off with her talking about just like

01:08:50.850 --> 01:08:53.250
things haven't been the best for her she had

01:08:53.250 --> 01:08:55.289
a dog that she was really close with like her

01:08:55.289 --> 01:08:58.289
beloved pet yes oh no who passed away six months

01:08:58.289 --> 01:09:01.890
ago and it's just been really lonely yeah i know

01:09:01.890 --> 01:09:05.750
it's just been really lonely and hard to to cope

01:09:05.750 --> 01:09:07.829
with that loss but also while she's dealing with

01:09:07.829 --> 01:09:10.020
that like she has close friends but they're also

01:09:10.020 --> 01:09:12.180
all living their own lives like you know one

01:09:12.180 --> 01:09:15.020
of them has a kid and one of them was going through

01:09:15.020 --> 01:09:17.779
a divorce and is back in dating and like and

01:09:17.779 --> 01:09:19.479
so there's these times where she's like reaching

01:09:19.479 --> 01:09:21.739
out for connection like they do like a game night

01:09:21.739 --> 01:09:24.199
and everyone's canceling all the time because

01:09:24.199 --> 01:09:26.260
they've got their own things going on and like

01:09:26.260 --> 01:09:30.239
her life yeah her life has just her world has

01:09:30.239 --> 01:09:33.159
become really small and lonely yeah and she doesn't

01:09:33.159 --> 01:09:34.859
she doesn't have anyone else to reach out to

01:09:34.859 --> 01:09:37.500
or anything else and it's just very like yeah

01:09:37.500 --> 01:09:41.739
i thought that the depression rep in this book

01:09:41.739 --> 01:09:45.659
was just so accurate like so real and so relatable

01:09:45.659 --> 01:09:47.779
i still think about that's why well that's why

01:09:47.779 --> 01:09:52.140
i chose this book um one of the things that she

01:09:52.140 --> 01:09:54.699
ends up doing is she ends up trying to find something

01:09:54.699 --> 01:09:56.960
that brought her joy like a hobby or she's trying

01:09:56.960 --> 01:09:58.779
to remember of like bring light to her life again

01:09:58.779 --> 01:10:00.840
and so she ends up looking up classes for dancing

01:10:00.840 --> 01:10:03.479
and finds a pole dancing like burlesque class

01:10:04.279 --> 01:10:06.659
that just happens to be starting with like a

01:10:06.659 --> 01:10:08.279
beginner class. And she's like, this is meant

01:10:08.279 --> 01:10:10.539
to be. So she signs up and one of her friends

01:10:10.539 --> 01:10:13.079
actually ends up signing up with her, Grace.

01:10:13.300 --> 01:10:15.220
And so they signed up to do this burlesque class.

01:10:15.460 --> 01:10:17.359
And there is some, so she's a plus size character.

01:10:17.380 --> 01:10:19.979
And so there is a little bit of like her, like

01:10:19.979 --> 01:10:21.859
there's not like a part where she's like, oh,

01:10:21.859 --> 01:10:24.340
I hate my body or whatever. Like she is a confident

01:10:24.340 --> 01:10:26.279
woman, but she also is a confident woman that

01:10:26.279 --> 01:10:28.380
knows that like she's living in a plus size body

01:10:28.380 --> 01:10:31.279
in a very unforgiving world when it comes to

01:10:31.279 --> 01:10:34.479
people who are plus size. Yeah. And Emily Antoinette

01:10:34.479 --> 01:10:36.520
is really good, in my opinion, about writing

01:10:36.520 --> 01:10:39.479
plus size bodies. I've read like 90 % of her

01:10:39.479 --> 01:10:42.020
books. And every time there's plus size up, I

01:10:42.020 --> 01:10:43.220
always feel like it's done with like care and

01:10:43.220 --> 01:10:45.079
consideration. And it's not just throwing in

01:10:45.079 --> 01:10:47.279
like, oh, yeah, she's super thick. But you know

01:10:47.279 --> 01:10:52.359
what I mean? Right. But so Max and Mona, like,

01:10:52.420 --> 01:10:55.159
eventually she figures out that, like, he's not

01:10:55.159 --> 01:10:57.680
stalking her. He's actually stalking somebody

01:10:57.680 --> 01:10:59.539
else in her apartment complex. So that's fine.

01:11:03.020 --> 01:11:05.659
I was going to say, they have a sort of almost

01:11:05.659 --> 01:11:08.199
a CNC kind of dynamic, don't they? Where they

01:11:08.199 --> 01:11:11.039
sort of role play that he is stalking her. Yeah.

01:11:11.060 --> 01:11:13.640
Once they get together, they very much like playing.

01:11:13.779 --> 01:11:16.550
They have. a really really hot dynamic where

01:11:16.550 --> 01:11:18.930
she loves to be fake stalked where he'll like

01:11:18.930 --> 01:11:21.609
she'll literally like they'll set it up beforehand

01:11:21.609 --> 01:11:23.949
she'll like be walking and then she knows he's

01:11:23.949 --> 01:11:26.029
coming but she doesn't know when or where and

01:11:26.029 --> 01:11:28.670
then he'll come and like take her and fake kidnap

01:11:28.670 --> 01:11:31.369
her and you know just ravish her and it's so

01:11:31.369 --> 01:11:36.109
spicy it's so good but normally i can't read

01:11:36.109 --> 01:11:38.470
like i really struggle with with dub con or non

01:11:38.470 --> 01:11:40.329
-con or anything like that but in this case it's

01:11:40.329 --> 01:11:42.970
all set up beforehand so there's like consent

01:11:42.970 --> 01:11:44.989
and communication about everything and they have

01:11:44.989 --> 01:11:48.149
signals and and safe words and stuff like that

01:11:48.149 --> 01:11:52.250
but oh my gosh it's so spicy yep it's really

01:11:52.250 --> 01:11:55.729
good also she does like heal as well doesn't

01:11:55.729 --> 01:11:58.689
she in terms of of her grief for her dog. One

01:11:58.689 --> 01:12:02.069
of the things that actually happens is She learns

01:12:02.069 --> 01:12:05.489
about the magic and she learns about Max being

01:12:05.489 --> 01:12:08.890
a succubus and a witch. And actually he discovers

01:12:08.890 --> 01:12:12.010
that her dog is still there. Like the ghost of

01:12:12.010 --> 01:12:15.109
her dog is still there. And makes like a magical

01:12:15.109 --> 01:12:17.770
collar for the dog so that she can see the dog

01:12:17.770 --> 01:12:21.170
again. It's really cute. It's really sweet. It's

01:12:21.170 --> 01:12:23.189
really like a pretty big part of the story because

01:12:23.189 --> 01:12:25.829
a lot of her grief is over losing the dog. And

01:12:25.829 --> 01:12:28.989
there's a part where she's like making a sandwich

01:12:28.989 --> 01:12:30.569
or something like that. And she like drops him.

01:12:30.670 --> 01:12:32.350
chips on the floor and she's like oh the dog

01:12:32.350 --> 01:12:34.250
will get it and then she realizes the dog's not

01:12:34.250 --> 01:12:37.970
there and oh yeah i know i think anyone that

01:12:37.970 --> 01:12:41.149
has pets can relate to like that fear of of losing

01:12:41.149 --> 01:12:43.750
them and just the heartbreak of losing a friend

01:12:43.750 --> 01:12:46.970
that you've had so I have always struggled with

01:12:46.970 --> 01:12:49.529
my depression and I know that like it's not one

01:12:49.529 --> 01:12:51.170
it's not something that you can just wake up

01:12:51.170 --> 01:12:53.949
and be like okay you know what it's fine I'm

01:12:53.949 --> 01:12:56.350
gonna be good I'm gonna like just shake it off

01:12:56.350 --> 01:12:57.770
kind of thing like that's not how depression

01:12:57.770 --> 01:13:02.710
works no depressive episodes are so hard to dig

01:13:02.710 --> 01:13:05.270
yourself out of and like that awful feeling of

01:13:05.270 --> 01:13:07.439
like being being out of your depression and like

01:13:07.439 --> 01:13:10.020
being good for a while and then all of a sudden

01:13:10.020 --> 01:13:12.420
you realize that the clouds have come back and

01:13:12.420 --> 01:13:14.020
you're just you see it happening and there's

01:13:14.020 --> 01:13:16.180
not really much you can do sometimes like it

01:13:16.180 --> 01:13:18.840
just happens i just the way when i read it it

01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:20.359
was almost kind of hard to read because i was

01:13:20.359 --> 01:13:22.779
like damn man like it's like you're taking the

01:13:22.779 --> 01:13:26.199
words out of my mind it's so so good now she

01:13:26.199 --> 01:13:28.760
does heal though like the the class really helps

01:13:28.760 --> 01:13:31.659
her she finds at some point there's like a point

01:13:31.659 --> 01:13:33.579
in the book where she realized that she has this

01:13:33.579 --> 01:13:35.439
awareness of like oh my gosh like i can kind

01:13:35.439 --> 01:13:38.579
of see the light again like I'm I feel so much

01:13:38.579 --> 01:13:41.000
lighter and like I'm I'm finding joy and like

01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:44.199
things are feeling the way that they used to

01:13:44.199 --> 01:13:46.779
feel before I was in that episode and like just

01:13:46.779 --> 01:13:50.460
super super sweet and healing it is a super spicy

01:13:50.460 --> 01:13:55.020
sweet loving book i max and mona together like

01:13:55.020 --> 01:13:59.340
10 out of 10 so hot um and grace the friend that

01:13:59.340 --> 01:14:01.439
she does the class with also gets a book which

01:14:01.439 --> 01:14:04.760
is oh my gosh that one so spicy it's a sapphic

01:14:04.760 --> 01:14:09.180
vampire human chronic illness rep i i love that

01:14:09.180 --> 01:14:11.760
book so much it's so good afterglow and it's

01:14:11.760 --> 01:14:14.479
this is the start sort of a whole series of monster

01:14:14.479 --> 01:14:17.750
romance the moonvale series but it's starts with

01:14:17.750 --> 01:14:19.369
my favorite book man eater which i'm not going

01:14:19.369 --> 01:14:21.430
to talk about other than to say i love it it's

01:14:21.430 --> 01:14:26.170
so good so yeah that was that's what i wanted

01:14:26.170 --> 01:14:28.329
to talk about behold her and the depression rep

01:14:28.329 --> 01:14:32.729
and the other book i've already talked about

01:14:32.729 --> 01:14:35.430
but i can't stop thinking about it and i just

01:14:35.920 --> 01:14:38.300
wanted to talk about it more is enchanting in

01:14:38.300 --> 01:14:41.680
envy by nick knight i recently read that i arc

01:14:41.680 --> 01:14:43.640
read it it recently came out and so that book

01:14:43.640 --> 01:14:48.420
is we love book four in the passing through cafe

01:14:48.420 --> 01:14:52.180
series and that one is with zef and bryce so

01:14:52.180 --> 01:14:56.560
zef is asexual agender and they are one of the

01:14:56.560 --> 01:14:58.880
people that work at the cafe they're like the

01:14:58.880 --> 01:15:05.500
baker they work like baking the things and they

01:15:05.500 --> 01:15:08.420
recently lost a roommate and so they have an

01:15:08.420 --> 01:15:11.060
open bedroom and they happen to learn that Bryce

01:15:11.060 --> 01:15:13.699
needs a place to stay in purgatory because he

01:15:13.699 --> 01:15:16.260
is coming to work at like a work study program

01:15:16.260 --> 01:15:18.760
he's a veterinarian so he's going to come work

01:15:18.760 --> 01:15:21.739
in purgatory on animals in purgatory to learn

01:15:21.739 --> 01:15:23.939
about them and stuff and Bryce is demisexual

01:15:23.939 --> 01:15:27.279
pronouns he him So Bryce moves in with Zeph and

01:15:27.279 --> 01:15:29.439
it's really sweet because Zeph is like very particular

01:15:29.439 --> 01:15:33.520
about their space and like has just very structured

01:15:33.520 --> 01:15:36.720
routines around how they live. And one of the

01:15:36.720 --> 01:15:39.199
things is like they have this mug system and

01:15:39.199 --> 01:15:41.539
they're like very concerned about the mug system.

01:15:41.579 --> 01:15:45.699
It's really cute. I picked Enchanted by Envy

01:15:45.699 --> 01:15:49.399
because I related with Zeph and their relationship

01:15:49.399 --> 01:15:53.890
and they're asexual. myself consider I consider

01:15:53.890 --> 01:15:56.270
myself asexual and I just really related to the

01:15:56.270 --> 01:15:58.449
way that the relationship was between them I

01:15:58.449 --> 01:16:01.649
found so much comfort in reading the way that

01:16:01.649 --> 01:16:04.210
Zeph and Bryce were together because it starts

01:16:04.210 --> 01:16:06.270
really slow like they are just roommates and

01:16:06.270 --> 01:16:08.930
in fact it's like Bryce is not having the best

01:16:08.930 --> 01:16:12.069
time when they first move in um he's like Zeph's

01:16:12.069 --> 01:16:15.010
kind of really picky and like this is a lot um

01:16:15.010 --> 01:16:19.159
but they're always really nice and like they're

01:16:19.159 --> 01:16:20.859
very good at talking to each other about like

01:16:20.859 --> 01:16:23.399
hey like you know if you want me to do things

01:16:23.399 --> 01:16:25.319
a specific way when it comes to the mugs like

01:16:25.319 --> 01:16:27.699
you know let me know or or whatever like they're

01:16:27.699 --> 01:16:30.720
really respectful oh eventually Bryce starts

01:16:30.720 --> 01:16:32.880
like noticing that like he likes being around

01:16:32.880 --> 01:16:35.340
Zeph and he likes he starts to realize he likes

01:16:35.340 --> 01:16:38.659
Zeph and Zeph is um one of the things that Zeph

01:16:38.659 --> 01:16:40.460
doesn't like being touched they are touch averse

01:16:40.460 --> 01:16:43.319
and so really the only person that touches Zeph

01:16:43.319 --> 01:16:46.060
I think is Tad who's like this We don't know

01:16:46.060 --> 01:16:48.020
what Tad is. We don't worry about what Tad is.

01:16:48.159 --> 01:16:53.140
We don't know. But very few people really have

01:16:53.140 --> 01:16:55.000
any physical contact with Zeph, and that's the

01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:56.819
way they like it. Everyone's really respectful

01:16:56.819 --> 01:16:58.479
about it. Actually, it's really sweet because

01:16:58.479 --> 01:17:02.520
all the cafe family are really protective of

01:17:02.520 --> 01:17:05.119
Zeph because they're so, I don't know how to

01:17:05.119 --> 01:17:09.399
say it, but because they are protective of their

01:17:09.399 --> 01:17:12.319
physical space. It's really sweet. Everyone's

01:17:12.319 --> 01:17:14.970
always making sure. Yeah, but over time, like,

01:17:14.989 --> 01:17:17.130
they start, like, it's just, like, the brush

01:17:17.130 --> 01:17:20.729
of a hand against Zeph's hand when they're walking

01:17:20.729 --> 01:17:25.510
down the hallway. Or, like, a hand on the back

01:17:25.510 --> 01:17:28.149
when you're passing by. Like, it starts, like,

01:17:28.170 --> 01:17:31.850
such small, soft brushes like that. There's never

01:17:31.850 --> 01:17:34.649
a point in the relationship where it gets really

01:17:34.649 --> 01:17:36.770
deeply sexual or anything like that. There's

01:17:36.770 --> 01:17:39.329
kissing and cuddling and affection. But I just

01:17:39.329 --> 01:17:42.970
really liked how it is a perfectly loving, complete

01:17:42.970 --> 01:17:46.210
relationship between two people with respect

01:17:46.210 --> 01:17:49.689
to Zef and how they identify as asexual. And

01:17:49.689 --> 01:17:51.909
I just really liked the representation of it

01:17:51.909 --> 01:17:55.329
showing a happy, healthy... relationship between

01:17:55.329 --> 01:17:58.449
two people who both they're not both asexual

01:17:58.449 --> 01:18:01.510
only only Zeph is but Bryce takes such care and

01:18:01.510 --> 01:18:04.130
consideration when it comes to Zeph because he's

01:18:04.130 --> 01:18:06.289
always super respectful and like asking you know

01:18:06.289 --> 01:18:08.909
what is okay with Zeph what Zeph needs so like

01:18:08.909 --> 01:18:11.590
there's yeah there's a part where like where

01:18:11.590 --> 01:18:16.409
Bryce is like super excited and he like isn't

01:18:16.409 --> 01:18:19.750
sure like what is okay what's not okay and so

01:18:19.750 --> 01:18:21.270
like they talk about it and I think there's like

01:18:21.270 --> 01:18:23.750
a part where where like Zeph does like watch

01:18:23.750 --> 01:18:27.710
him like jack off but like it's not there's like

01:18:27.710 --> 01:18:30.470
never pressure or expectation and it's more just

01:18:30.470 --> 01:18:32.409
like a curiosity or to watch and like Zeph is

01:18:32.409 --> 01:18:35.119
like open like i'm flattered that you're attracted

01:18:35.119 --> 01:18:38.119
to me like this oh yeah it's really cute i don't

01:18:38.119 --> 01:18:41.359
know like i it does like there it does have spicy

01:18:41.359 --> 01:18:43.840
scenes like there it is spicy and that like it's

01:18:43.840 --> 01:18:48.159
hot how attracted bryce is and how he finds such

01:18:48.159 --> 01:18:51.500
enjoyment and just like just cuddling and zeph

01:18:51.500 --> 01:18:54.119
zeph is the same way like zeph loves being around

01:18:54.729 --> 01:18:57.909
Bryce and like being in his space and there's

01:18:57.909 --> 01:19:00.310
like the comfort of having someone to come home

01:19:00.310 --> 01:19:03.750
to and having your partner it's just such a sweet

01:19:03.750 --> 01:19:06.890
loving adorable I just want to scream about this

01:19:06.890 --> 01:19:12.109
book so much it makes me so happy I've only read

01:19:12.109 --> 01:19:14.739
I think i want to say like two books that have

01:19:14.739 --> 01:19:18.079
asexual representation it's this one and there

01:19:18.079 --> 01:19:21.380
was a an emmy sanders book i i mean it's not

01:19:21.380 --> 01:19:23.920
a super common thing in the books in the romance

01:19:23.920 --> 01:19:25.819
books i feel like but i just really like the

01:19:25.819 --> 01:19:28.460
representation and i liked how safe and sweet

01:19:28.460 --> 01:19:31.220
and normal it like it was just written so normally

01:19:31.220 --> 01:19:33.880
it wasn't like the whole book isn't isn't written

01:19:33.880 --> 01:19:36.260
about the fact that zephyrs are asexual it just

01:19:36.260 --> 01:19:38.840
happens to be that they are asexual if that makes

01:19:38.840 --> 01:19:41.699
sense yeah I'm just going to throw in my obligatory

01:19:41.699 --> 01:19:47.380
E .M. Lindsay recommendations. They have some

01:19:47.380 --> 01:19:49.739
really great ace rep in some of their books.

01:19:49.819 --> 01:19:52.520
So just throwing that out there. I need to read

01:19:52.520 --> 01:19:58.079
more. Isn't Lando asexual? Oh, yes. Yes. Sorry.

01:19:58.500 --> 01:20:01.800
Lando from Try Again Later is asexual. Finding

01:20:01.800 --> 01:20:03.500
You by E .M. Lindsay is the book that I was going

01:20:03.500 --> 01:20:08.149
to shout out. I wanted to add a little bit more

01:20:08.149 --> 01:20:11.609
about the Enchanted. Just a quick thing. I just

01:20:11.609 --> 01:20:14.789
really like there's a part where because Zeph

01:20:14.789 --> 01:20:17.770
doesn't have any desire for sex or anything like

01:20:17.770 --> 01:20:20.649
that. There's a quote. They may have been wired

01:20:20.649 --> 01:20:22.430
differently than most, but they were not wired

01:20:22.430 --> 01:20:25.350
wrong. Tad told them so and Tad did not lie to

01:20:25.350 --> 01:20:29.710
them. And I just really like that. Yeah, definitely.

01:20:30.029 --> 01:20:31.989
I thought it was just really sweet. And so I'm

01:20:31.989 --> 01:20:36.680
like in my 30s. I did not really. know or realize

01:20:36.680 --> 01:20:39.979
about myself that I was asexual until much later

01:20:39.979 --> 01:20:41.979
in my life and it was kind of like an awakening

01:20:41.979 --> 01:20:46.020
for me like to realize like oh wow because that's

01:20:46.020 --> 01:20:48.100
something you think that you would know and so

01:20:48.100 --> 01:20:53.250
to know that like it's yeah it's really not but

01:20:53.250 --> 01:20:55.949
to realize like for there's a reason why I've

01:20:55.949 --> 01:20:57.930
always struggled with that with that like that

01:20:57.930 --> 01:21:01.449
part of my life and so to to kind of have a reason

01:21:01.449 --> 01:21:03.750
not a reason but to have that realization of

01:21:03.750 --> 01:21:05.829
like oh this is the normal thing that like a

01:21:05.829 --> 01:21:09.550
lot of people feel was really healing and that's

01:21:09.550 --> 01:21:11.069
why I love reading it in books and especially

01:21:11.069 --> 01:21:13.909
this book one because I love the series but also

01:21:13.909 --> 01:21:16.600
because Nick Knight Has done such an amazing

01:21:16.600 --> 01:21:19.779
job of writing. Just the sweetest. It's such

01:21:19.779 --> 01:21:24.159
a funny book. Such a sweet book. It made my.

01:21:24.260 --> 01:21:29.220
It's just the best book. That's all for today

01:21:29.220 --> 01:21:33.500
folks. Good job everybody. Listen. Listen this

01:21:33.500 --> 01:21:38.560
episode. It has taken a lot from us. This is

01:21:38.560 --> 01:21:41.659
really. What more do you want? Just let us go.

01:21:45.100 --> 01:21:50.840
Well, with that, I guess we're gonna... Listen,

01:21:51.260 --> 01:21:54.479
we're not mad. We still love you. We're just

01:21:54.479 --> 01:21:59.619
tired now. And I need a Red Bull. Daddies are

01:21:59.619 --> 01:22:04.019
tired. We've got another episode to record. yeah

01:22:04.019 --> 01:22:09.500
okay yeah so all right well that is that's everybody's

01:22:09.500 --> 01:22:12.739
uh everybody's deep dive that's the buddy read

01:22:12.739 --> 01:22:19.180
so thank you for listening we love you yes bye

01:22:19.180 --> 01:22:25.119
bye that's all for this week we are gonna scurry

01:22:25.119 --> 01:22:28.020
back okay that's done we would love it if you

01:22:28.020 --> 01:22:30.619
join us next thursday for more rat shenanigans

01:22:31.560 --> 01:22:33.699
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01:22:54.060 --> 01:22:58.479
Hey Brats, it's Editor Megan here with the Rat

01:22:58.479 --> 01:23:01.819
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