And then while I'm doing this, Katie just comes
in and says artichokes and then leaves. Let me
explain. Brats and welcome back to another episode
of Rainbow Book Rats, a queer romance podcast
where four feral rats nerd out about their favorite
reads. On this episode of Digging Deeper, we
will be talking about our recent buddy read and
doing a deep dive into a bookish topic one of
us is foaming at the mouth to talk about. So
grab a treat, settle in, and let's get to yapping.
I'm JD, my pronouns are they, them, and I recently
thrifted a new lava lamp. Cum lamp. It is the
cum lamp. Sorry. It's the cum lamp. I'm Kit,
they, he, and I have a visceral reaction to mustaches.
What a hater. I know. Come on, outfit. I'm Megan.
She, her, they, them. And I love mustaches. I'm
Katie. She, her. And I'm trying to grow one.
true she really does want a mustache i really
would love to grow be able to grow a beard or
facial hair i don't know i like body hair in
general it's doing you very well i think i don't
shave anything i love body hair i think hair
i just sounds so weird i love hair not in a weird
way Are you sure that you're cis? In a really
normal way. Just a really big fan of beards and
hair and body hair. I have no arm hair anymore
and I was really upset by that. Like I have little
arm hair but it's like pretty much all gone.
Aww. Yeah. r .i .p katie's arm hair i wonder
if they do arm hair transplants so this week
we are going to talk about our buddy read that
was chosen by kit me yay so i chose uh the full
moon problem by k claire it's a low -ish angst
paranormal romance uh set in a small british
village so essentially you've got felix who doesn't
know he's a witch until he moves there and he
falls for shy declan the delivery driver in the
village who is totally not a werewolf. Totally
a normal man. Totally a normal man. And no one
in the town is hiding that about him because
he's not. Yeah, and why would you even ask about
Declan? Yeah, seriously. They all act perfectly
normal when you bring up his name. So yeah, Felix
settles in in his very witchy cottage. He plants
his little witchy garden. oh my god he learns
his witchy recipes give it to me he just lives
the best witchy life i like how during the buddy
read we were all just talking about how we would
this is like the dream life like living in a
little cottage yeah a little witchy plan seriously
though and your your werewolf boyfriend yeah
this is my dream life in my head movies right
oh i want a little cottage with a garden And
Felix gets almost everything he needs doing swapping
potions with the villagers. This is basically
Stardew Valley. Yeah. He like makes different
tea blends for like, you know, anxiety and migraines
and stuff. He inherited his cottage from his
aunt who passed away. And she was like the village
witch, basically. And so everyone in the village
had been used to her giving them her little remedies
for everything and kind of trading what they
had with her because she never asked for payment
for any of it. So Felix just kind of like falls
into. that role and he moves back there and finds
out about that yeah that's what i want to be
when i grow up right i want to be that too i
want to be the village with so felix gives them
a potion and they give him honey or you know
candles or a pie i love that yeah that barter
system it's so it's so cozy it is so cozy yeah
this was a super cozy book it really was and
not a werewolf declan has a full moon problem
he does yeah where essentially he doesn't have
control of his werewolf um his actual werewolf
every full moon's where felix's aunt used to
make him a potion so once felix finds this out
he sets out to try and replicate this potion
to give that come back his control and in the
process of that they fall in love and it's very
sweet It's so sweet. It is. Declan is just the
most adorable. I can't even put into words. Pretty
much this entire buddy read was just me being
like, stop it. Stop it. He's so cute. I can't
handle it. A little anxious bean. He is. He is
such a shy bean. In the beginning when he first
meets Felix, he's like... He doesn't talk, runs
away, and then later on he's like, I was charmed
by you. He's so anxious around Felix that they
can't talk for ages, but they communicate through
letters. I know! It's really cute. It's so cute.
And he folds all of his letters to Felix into
little origami shapes. It's just darling. Just
imagining this giant man folding these little
origami letters. In his delivery van. He does
it in the van before he leaves. It makes me sad.
Yeah, he writes all of his letters after they
have their interactions or whatever. He goes
back to the van, writes his letter, and then
folds it into the little origami and then leaves
it. It makes me want to cry. It's very much like
a slogan, but I like how after a certain point,
Felix is just like, you know what, enough. It
sort of forces Declan to come in the house and
have a chat and be friends. He's like, you're
not going to do this. But also, I love that Felix
had kept all of the letters, the origami letters,
and he stuck them to his headboard. It was just
so cute. So cute. He treasured them. Not only
did he, like, every time he'd get a note, he
would unfold it so carefully, read it, take a
picture of the letter, and then refold it. Like,
I love that. Yeah. He learned how to do a little
bit of origami, too, because he had to put them
all back together again. Yes. But yeah, oh, I
love that so much. And the way that Declan obviously
did learn to be less shy and to open up a bit,
because he has trauma. He has lost. he has grief
oh my baby and he doesn't actually talk about
it yeah it's really it's so sad yeah and he also
like yeah the village protects him and absolutely
loves the hell out of him but he's the only werewolf
there there's nobody quite like him um so he's
always felt i think a bit alone he was adopted
you see i think he was like left left on a doorstep
or something and he'd always felt quite alone
because of that and felt quite different from
everybody else around him and he really connected
with felix over that because felix has always
felt very alone and different from people around
him because um he's actually trans and and growing
up he wasn't especially supported with his identity
baby yeah my baby and also i do want to call
out that the trans rep in this was so good yes
like i mean i mean k claire the writer is also
trans but it was just like it was a thing it
was a big part of felix's personality but we
got to see it just like everyday life yeah like
we got to see the like the tea injections and
yeah and also i i think one of one of the big
parts of his like backstory is he never really
learned any of like the witch things from his
mom because he he didn't really want anything
to do with it yeah you know because it was like
the girls in the family did that and he wanted
to really distance himself from that yeah definitely
i got also that his parents or his mom didn't
really believe in like modern medicine necessarily
and that was also a big thing because obviously
like the trend like to transition required some
modern medicine and in the beginning Felix talked
about how he had thought about doing top surgery
or bottom surgery but then decided that he liked
everything how it was like because he talks a
lot about his chest he doesn't have top surgery
but like before he was kind of naturally flat
and then he's done a lot of chest work yeah and
he talks about how like deciding not to get surgeries
at all but like it seemed like a point of contention
that his family didn't really believe in medicine
yeah yeah it was a really cool representation
of like a specific version of being a trans man
and it's just really nice to see because you
know trans men are not a monolith and um it was
interesting to see also because like you know
there are going to be loads of people out there
who have families who are either either families
who are not supportive of being trans or families
who for other reasons are not supportive or even
scared of medical settings yeah and how you recover
from that and get past that and as an adult embrace
your future. So I thought it was just really
well done that one. you know, that part of it.
Yeah. Yeah. It was really sweet. And I just liked
that this had a lot of, I felt like this book
had a lot of queer joy, trans joy, cozy. It was.
Yeah. The fan family. Oh my gosh. It's the whole
town. So Nimbley Ford is the name of the town
and I'm going to find this place. I'm going to
move there. You'll never hear from me again.
I think it was, I think it was JD who mentioned
in the buddy read that this reminds them of Eureka.
Yeah. And I totally got those. vibes because
that's like one of my favorite tropes is like
just quirky found family town that like you know
it's just you just want to be there you want
to live there yeah eureka by the way the show
on sci -fi yeah from the early 2000s i don't
know like straight from the very beginning of
it i just like got that vibe and i don't even
know like really it just kind of like shot out
at me like i i haven't thought about that show
in years and years and years but i i don't know
it just like conjured that image for me the same
sort of cozy like yeah like everybody here has
a knows something but they're not you know yeah
yeah secrets secrets all that so yeah but um
i also i just wanted to mention um the fact that
this is a british book and there's You know where
I'm going with this. There just were some words
in this book that are very British. And as an
American, I didn't know what some of them meant.
And so I went to the group chat just to ask because
I wanted to know. And we had some struggles.
There were some struggles a little bit. So first,
I just didn't know what dungarees was. I love
that word. And then I was like, isn't that the
gram bears that you dip in the frosting? And
I was like, no, Megan, that's gunkaroos. So it
turns out it's overalls, okay? It's overalls.
dunkaroos overalls not dunkaroos i really it
was like it was like 2 a .m or 1 a .m i really
wanted dunkaroos after that oh my god and then
what was the second one it was poultice oh and
streamer streamer was the third one poultice
yeah i didn't know what a poultice was either
and i was like what is that even in the group
chat and i'm asking and megan's awake and so
she's responding back about it go ahead megan
alex my husband was standing right there and
i was laughing he's like what are you laughing
about i was like what's a poultice and he says
Oh, isn't that like, it's like a bomb, right?
And I was like, okay. And I texted, I texted
back the group chat and it was like, bomb, B
-O -M -B. Alex says it's a bomb. And I was like,
a bomb? And then I turned it back to Alex. That's
when he said, oh yeah, like a witch's, like a
witch's or whatever. And I was like, oh, bomb.
jd's already in there being like what the fuck
and i was like oh no no it's like a salve it's
like like a witch's ear oh my gosh yeah so and
then and then there was the strimmer which it's
a weed whacker or a weed eater as some say jd
comes in and they're like what's strimmer and
so i have my phone up and i'm trying to say strimmer
into into siri and and i'm getting nothing and
it's coming back with like trimmer and streamer
like oh someone's on twitch and then while i'm
doing this katie just comes in and says artichoke
and then leaves Let me explain. She hadn't said
anything before that, but we're trying to figure
out what a story is. It doesn't come back. No
follow up. And so I was like, oh, I guess that's
the answer. So Megan has put like a screenshot
of what she was being told it was. And then.
I'm like, so what exactly is it? And then Megan
just goes, an artichoke. And I was like, no,
no, no. So I'm reading through the screenshot
and I'm like, oh, it says, okay, it says it's
like a weed whacker. I think it took like an
hour for Katie to come back and be like, no,
I had an artichoke for dinner. I didn't even.
I didn't even read the chat prior to sending
the message. I came in. I was full from dinner.
I was so pleased with myself because I had had
a whole artichoke and it was so good. I just
texted artichoke because I was like, they'll
understand. And then I left. I come back an hour
later and you guys are just losing your mind.
Anyway, we got really confused and we were laughing
so hard. We were sending voice notes back and
forth to each other and I was just dying with
tears streaming down our face. Oh my god. It
was really funny. So anyway, there were a few
terms in the book that I didn't really understand
at first but I figured it out. But I do want
to make it clear. This book is set in Britain.
it is written by somebody who is clearly like
uh so k is actually from south africa and came
to britain on holiday and loves uh britain but
you can tell that they are not british and do
you know how you can tell i couldn't tell i couldn't
tell we're americans there are zero cups of proper
tea made in this book oh is it because there's
no um milk cream do you put milk or cream so
Felix makes a lot of herbal tea but there is
no black tea there is zero there is no black
tea in this book Felix doesn't even keep any
in the house that doesn't happen like I don't
drink tea there's still tea in this house I just
want to read one thing that I added to our buddy
read towards the beginning once we figured out,
you know, what all those words meant. I had put
a quote from the book that said, the dungarees
and boots feel like a uniform. And then my comment,
now I'm just picturing Felix in nothing but rain
boots holding a pack of dunkaroos. Dunkaroos
in one hand and a cartoon bomb in the other.
Oh my god. And that was just an image that really
stayed with me throughout the book. Another really
fun thing about the book is that the author drew
pictures for it. There were pictures throughout
the book illustrating some of the scenes. And
I thought that was really fun. I really enjoyed
that. Yes. And the cover as well. Cage of the
cover as well. Yeah. There's a little map in
the beginning of the book, which I always love
a map. I love a map. It's so sweet. I think my
favorite image was there's a point where Declan
is shifted into his werewolf, and then he's cuddling
Felix in the bathroom. That's my favorite scene
in the whole book. I love that scene. So cute.
And that picture is so good. So the book is super
sweet and cute and cozy and stuff, but... It
is also, like, I mean, it's also pretty spicy.
Like, decently spicy, I think. Yeah. I mean,
there's shifted sex, so of course it's spicy.
Yeah. The shifted sex. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my
God. I wanted more. Yeah, I know. Same. Oh, yeah.
As soon as Felix meets Declan, though, like,
Felix is a horny gremlin. He's always... He's
just always... I'm so horned up for Declan. Even
before they're together, he'll just be daydreaming
about his arm hair or whatever. Much like you
do, right? The buddy we used to be dueling. Body
hair, you mentioned. But that first kiss on the
couch. The hottest first kiss I think I've ever
read. It's so hot that Declan pops his claws.
and gouges oh my god yeah um doesn't he also
come in his boxers was that then or oh that could
that may have been a different scene yeah where
there is some coming early that makes me remind
me and then in the in the fully shifted sex scene
we also get breeding kink dirty talk my favorite
my favorite yes that whole scene and and werewolf
licking of You know, intimate areas. Going downtown.
Oh yeah. It was like the first scene they were
together when Declan's like, can I clean you
up? And I just, I want to flip my desk. I loved
it so much. I literally, I had in the buddy room,
I had been talking. I was like, I want him to
clean him up with his tongue. And then like two
minutes later it happened. And I was like, Oh
my God. but Declan is just obsessed with Felix's
scent and Felix's taste and I'm so here for it
I love the mutual obsession Declan is the one
who has heightened sense and taste and stuff
like that but Felix was also so obsessed with
how hairy he was and his smell it was so good
but the thing is Obviously, Felix kept getting
horny around Declan, and then Declan could smell
it. There's a point where Felix is enjoying some
alone time, some self -planning. And then Declan
shows up, he opens the door, and Declan's just
like, oh my god. It's like the Edward Cullen
tit -soak thing. Yes! In our buddy read, you
could see we just had lots of comments about
horny smell, horny smell, horny smell. Horny
smell and body hair were the themes of this book.
It's a recurring theme, okay? Okay, let me see.
I'm looking through our buddy read right now.
Oh, I just found another horny smell. He can
smell horny, confirmed! And then the next one.
Oh, here's a quote from the book. Felix watches
from the corner of his eye as Declan takes his
first bite and makes a pleased noise. Felix tries
really hard not to be horny about the sound,
but judging by the way Declan stops chewing and
glances at Felix, he obviously notices. And then
my comment is, horny, horny smell! And Kit says,
spray bottle for Felix! Which made me laugh so
hard. Down, down boy, down. The horny smell was
really out of control. It was so good. It was
really funny. But yeah, it's just such a good
little low angst read. Although I did cry several
times. Me too. I was crying. I didn't, but I
understand why you would. It wasn't like the
relationship angst. It was more like the grief
and the loss. But also crying because you love
them so much. You know when something is so sweet
and you love it so much it just makes you want
to vomit. That's how I feel about them. Also,
the friend group in this book. So good. fantastic
loved loved loved every one of them was such
a complete character yes yes exactly and there's
um you get um you get autism rep you get asexual
rep you get ever romantic as well is it i was
gonna say it's child free it was just a really
well -rounded group of friends and like really
well thought out characters that weren't just
like put in as like filler to oh you know felix
needs friends but they were like genuinely so
yeah such an important part of the story i loved
them yeah and you had a complete family of ages
like declan with his old people the fact that
declan basically considered like yassine and
the old people his only friends killed me and
then when Felix went around to Declan's for the
first time I think and Declan was getting him
something to wear from his own wardrobe and they
just threw up in the wardrobe drawers and it
was just filled with sweaters that that some
of the old people have made for him oh yeah and
throughout the book up to that point Felix has
like noticed how Declan is almost always wearing
a different knit sweater And we don't really
think much of it until that point when we find
out, oh my gosh, yeah, because Declan tells him
that he gets them in exchange for doing favors
for the old people at the home. They make him
sweaters. My little bug. It's so precious. It
makes me want to live in a barter society. Yeah.
It just makes me yearn for fuck capitalism, give
me barter. This whole village is just so magical.
I know. the cool thing is like the only magical
or like supernatural things are felix and declan
yeah yeah everyone else is just regular but like
everyone's just so full of like love and compassion
and kindness and like they are the whole town
is family like yes it's wonderful yeah um if
there's any um older people who want to knit
me sweaters, I am available for adoption. Well,
what are you willing to do in exchange? You have
to do them a favor. Oh, I can be cute. I can
be cute. They can tell people that I'm their,
you know, grandchild. I don't know. things I
can do. A sugar grandbaby. Megan is searching
for a sugar grandma. I will exchange favors for
knitted sweaters. I'm moving to the Pacific Northwest.
I'm going to be cold. I need them. for this deep
dive section the four of us are gonna do four
mini deep dives we're gonna talk about the books
and characters that we really identify with in
terms of representation books that have characters
or representations that we identify with yeah
so jd take it away for my first book I decided
to choose a character with anxiety. Because if
there's one thing I have, it's generalized anxiety
disorder. And other things, but mostly that.
I am happily medicated these days. Thank goodness
for pharmaceuticals. Why do you say that? As
soon as I grab my pill bottle. I was really stumbling
through life, okay, until like four years ago.
And I'm 35. Listen, AFAB people get a short end
of the stick. It's true. Yeah, so I had... a
pretty decent sized list of characters they were
like this one or this one this one yeah there
are a few for this one i went with jay from natural
20 by charlie novak yeah i haven't read that
no i haven't oh it's so good good for anyone
who hasn't read charlie novak this is the series
that i recommend you start with yes because all
of their books sort of thread into each other
a little bit but yeah it's it's where i recommend
starting and it's a very cute book so jay is
a clumsy anxious bookstore owner he has just
opened his indie bookstore with the help of his
best friend edward oh jay's full name is jacob
and so his his best friend's name being edward
they kind of have like a twilight joke between
them Anyway, so it's about Jay and another entrepreneur
in town, Leo, who owns the florist shop down
the street. He's a big bookworm. And so he decides
to go check out the new bookstore that's open.
And he brings like a little bouquet with him,
of course. Part of this book is flower language.
Yes. Oh, I like that. Like the secret meaning
behind flowers? Yes, yes. So I think it's a Victorian
thing where flowers have certain meanings. And
so for his first bouquet, he brought a bouquet
that symbolized prosperity. Oh, nice. It's very
sweet. Throughout the book, he brings Jay different
bouquets that mean different things. And the
chapter titles are flower names. And it's so,
so sweet. week it's just flower love letters
throughout the whole book and Jay has no idea
yeah so Leo heads over to the bookstore to welcome
Jay very charmed by just Jay's general clumsy
flightiness and he's also kind of like an emo
boy a little bit Jay is and um they have like
a D &D group that they play in the basement uh
Leo ends up joining it and so they play together
and edward is the dm and it's there's several
scenes of them playing dnd that are really really
fun yeah i also have on here jay always wears
fun socks i also relate to that excellent i always
have like a crazy pair of socks i wouldn't say
there's like a ton of spice in this book but
there is spice and it's quite good so jay and
leo become friends they decide that they're gonna
watch this tv show together and so they sit down
and watch tv shows every week with other but
as their friendship is developing jay's anxiety
is also growing no no just a lot of like financial
worries pressing down on him and he's come out
of a bad relationship recently where he worked
himself to the bone to support his partner only
for his partner to be really ungrateful about
it and tell him that their relationship was trashed
because he never spent time with him rude yeah
So he's feeling really insecure about himself
already. And then he's got all this anxiety pressing
down. He doesn't want to tell anybody really.
He wants to kind of keep it on his own shoulders
because he feels it's his responsibility. Edward
helped him open the shop financially and he doesn't
want to tell him I need help. So he's like doing
all this stuff that's just stacking. He's drowning.
Yeah. Yeah. And he just kind of spirals into.
little anxiety spiral there which you know i
can relate yeah for sure i totally feel him it's
one of the ones where i was like yelling at him
in the book being like just fucking tell leo
just tell leo tell leo but it's so hard it's
so hard anxiety it is yeah and that was like
one of the things that really stuck with me is
just remember thinking like while i was reading
it like i totally understand like yeah like i
i completely see where he's coming from i was
just like yeah yeah i wasn't surprised i know
what that's like yeah i wasn't surprised nothing
about how he acted was shocking it just seemed
like Like a natural, of course, that's what you're
going to do. When you have anxiety, I feel like
it's so easy to get lost in this spiral. And
then when you're out of the situation, it's easy
to look back and be like, oh, this should have
been the path that I took. But when you're in
it, it's like a tornado. You literally can't
even. There is no path. There is no path. Because
you're not logical. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, this
is. It's just a really sweet book. It's like
a small town romance, friends to lovers, size
difference because Leo is like this hulking tattooed
man and Jay is like this little emo boy. Which
you also relate to. Yes, yeah. What, me with
my lip piercings and nose piercing? No, the small
bit. All five foot three of you? Yeah. My second
book that I'm going to talk about, it is All
Tied Up by Reese Morrison. Yay. It's one of my
absolute favorite books. There are two points
of representation for reasons why I picked this
book as my second book. One is that it's a poly
book. Yes. Polyamory. And then the second one
is that there is an agender character in this
book. And I never find agender characters. Right?
More agender characters, please. Yes, please.
I think maybe there's one other book that has
an agender character in it, but I can't think
of which one it is. I might even be wrong about
that. I think maybe this is the only book that
I've ever read that has it. I actually have two
books that I'm going to talk about that are both
with agender characters. No way. Yeah. holding
out on me. Katie coming in with the Rex. So All
Tied Up is about the owners of the Meadowlark
Inn. The Meadowlark Inn. Yeah, so they host kink
weekends through the cuffed app frequently. And
in this book, they're hosting a daddy and boy
night. And one of the boys who shows up for this
event, his name is Neil. And he is an older man.
He is plus size. And he is working as a lawyer.
He feels trapped in his job. And in his life,
he's never been able to really get what he wants
out of a relationship because he knows that he's
more kinky, but he hasn't. been able to find
a partner who is. So his friend that he made
at a kink club, he's one of the owners of this
app. And so he was telling Neil about these weekends.
He's really trying to like push him into the
lifestyle because he just knows that he needs
it. He needs the little push. He feels really
out of place because of his age too. You know,
in this book, it is a throuple situation eventually.
Jamie is the partner who is Polly. He likes to
have scenes with other people. Sebastian is very
okay with it his daddy they seen with other people
a lot and Sebastian doesn't need that as part
of their relationship but he knows that Jamie
does and so he's totally cool with that once
they all get together Sebastian and Neil end
up watching Jamie with another partner a lot
of times okay yeah no one touches Neil except
daddy Sebastian is the daddy and also the agender
character he uses he pronouns he doesn't really
care about gender is the thing yeah we have Jamie
who is a femme gender flexible brat he's such
a brat I love him yes and then we have Neil who
is our sweet boy we love them all yes he's a
perfect compliment to Jamie and then I have a
couple of little quotes here about Sebastian's
agender identity and it's Jamie talking to Neil
about it the first one is he doesn't identify
with any gender i think he wishes all the genders
would just go away and that's exactly how i feel
i remember reading that for the first time and
being like yeah yeah i actually think that this
book is the reason why i learned that a gender
was a thing and that i was like oh that's me
representation Yeah, so there's that one. And
then there's another one. And this one I relate
to even more. It says, Daddy thinks of gender
as an incomprehensible annoyance. Same. I love
those quotes. I think about them all the time.
Yeah, there is. bondage shibari there's like
a little bit of public play right yes there is
the communication is top tier some other tropes
and kinks we have spanking a lot of praise there's
wax play in this one there's wax play in my book
too oh wow what a small world we're just all
on the same wavelength it seems yeah there is
objectification and there is marking in this
book And in parentheses, I made sure to specify
with cum, not hickeys. Thank you for your clarification.
You're welcome. I felt it was important to note.
So this book is just really sweet. The way that
they all communicate with each other is really
great. I just I love this book so much. It's
one of my favorites of all time. Those are those
are the books that I picked as my little representation
dives. Yay. Kit, what were yours? Okay, so I
pick You're Not My King by Erin Hawke. I love
that book. The character in it is Ruben, or Roo
is his pet name. He has a lot of trauma and he's
also an ADHD -er like I am. Yay! Yes, we're all
ADHD in this house. I'll tell you a bit about
the book first and then I'll talk about Ruben.
So for anybody who's not read it, it is a sci
-fi romance. Basically, Ruben is captured by
aliens accidentally. Oops! Yep. And supposed
to be taking the brightest people from Earth.
They decide that Ruben doesn't quite meet that
standard. Bless him. It's so insulting. Oh, my
God. It really is. Me too. I should say this
is a comedy. So he has sent a planet. Fuck you.
Where he's claimed as the fated mate of the Lizard
King. Who is very hot. So hot. And he has a tail.
Oh my god. Yeah. Tasty. He is so tasty. Oh my
god. So our Lizard King is called Voak. Voak
knows that Ruben is coming. Because he can sense
him from outer space. But Ruben has no idea.
He's just been landed on this planet. Pissed
off. Oh, so pissed off with the whole thing.
I mean, I would be too. I related to him a lot
from this book too. I was like, damn, same bro,
same. Angry kitten. Yep, angry kitten, 100%.
He was told that his new owners would be there
to collect him soon, basically. Which pissed
him off more. Yep. This band of... lizard people
arrived collected him kind of didn't quite sling
him over the shoulder but may as well have yeah
and off they went on like a two -day trek or
something ridiculous and he does not do exercise
hard relate yeah right so he arrives in camp
and finds out that he's about to be married yay
yep to right away so there's a whole forced marriage
situation uh which he's not pleased about but
then he meets the guy and he's like okay i can
work with this um i guess if i have yeah if i
absolutely have to they get the wedding over
with and they have this epic sex fest right oh
my god a sex fest the spice is so good it's so
good but they don't speak each other's language
because the aliens who captured him were like,
you don't get a translator. Bye. So he doesn't
know what a knot is. Suddenly this thing starts
growing in his ass, mid -sex. And he's like,
what the fuck is that? Yeah, so he's sore for
days afterwards. He's not very thrilled about
this. And Voic is like, oh shit, I hurt my human.
I should stay away for a bit. so there is one
other human in the camp and she's been there
for 10 years or something and she speaks lizard
and she's also been teaching some of them english
so we find out that voak has been going to her
and she's been teaching him english so each time
we see him he speaks more and more unfortunately
he uses most of it for dirty talk for the important
stuff and it's so fucking dirty dude it really
is yeah Ruben is pretty lonely. Him and Voak
do bicker quite a lot but they also have a lot
of very hot sex. I'll tell you some of my favorite
bits of the story so Rue teaches Voak to crochet
which is just the sweetest moment because the
whole thing is Voak really feels this like mate
bond with Ruben he says it a couple of times
he's like just want to spend time with my who
man oh my god yeah he says that They literally
just sit on the ground and Ruben's just there
teaching him to crochet. And it's so cute. Yeah.
I love that whole scene. And they make a scarf
together. Ruben eventually gives Slovak that
scarf. And it's like his most treasured possession.
Yeah. He wears it all day, even though he's really
hot in it, because it smells of the two of them.
And then when he can't wear it anymore, he keeps
it on his belt forever. It's so cute. Ruben is
also, he's really sassy, okay? He's been being
called Kakaruka by... it's like this this alien
pet name and he thinks it's really sweet he's
like yay i got a pet name and then one day he
wakes up and there's this little carving of this
really cute bug next to his bed and he's like
oh this is really nice voak made me something
tells him to go and find voak and it's like you
made me this thank you so much and then he taps
the bug and he goes and at that point it clicks
and he's like you've been calling me a cockroach
oh my god he's so mad at him so mad he's like
this whole time i thought you were being sweet
and you were calling me a disgusting bug but
the way that the voax sweet talks him after that
oh my god gets him to come around and he's trying
to pretend to be mad and pouty still and it's
just oh their whole dynamic i love it so much
oh I love that book it was so good okay so Rue
is really sassy as I say I love it his whole
attitude and he's really like snarky in his head
which yeah not gonna lie same and you've probably
noticed it a bit on the podcast as well so the
reasons that I I love Ruben and I relate to him
are first off blanket burrito because let's face
it we're all like oh aliens come and save me
If we got taken to a random planet, no central
heating, no electricity, nobody speaks our language,
I would also be in a blanket burrito. for a long
time yeah i'm usually in a blanket burrito and
i don't even have that going on i love my blankets
i live in southern california and i'm a blanket
burrito all the time he's just so scared of change
and the unknown and i know that people do struggle
with this about character but He has ADHD and
he's possibly autistic as well. For a lot of
the book, he's trying to go home and he sees
that as the last place that he was happy and
stable before he had this awful traumatic relationship.
Like his brain physically can't understand that.
That his life wasn't very good. Yes, that things
will never be the same, even if he goes back.
Wasn't his life on earth like really shitty too
though? Like, yeah, he got abducted while he
was arguing with his sister about like something.
He literally just come to try and like reconnect.
with his sister she didn't really want anything
to do with him no and like he sees the relief
in her eyes that he's being taken and not her
yeah and it's just really sad yeah he really
struggles to change his course once he's set
it and he's got such low self -esteem like He
struggles in some ways. So academics, the aliens,
no, he was never strong in school. But because
he struggled in those very specific ways and
in reality, he never got the support that he
needed in school because I don't think he was
ever diagnosed. He thinks he's stupid and he's
incredibly down on himself. He calls himself
lazy and all of this. But the reality... He beats
himself up a lot. He beats himself up so much.
And it's like, you're traumatized. You're a divergent
person who's completely overwhelmed by the situation
that they're in. A very understandably overwhelming
situation. Right? He has this real need to feel
secure and wanted. And I think a lot of us with
ADHD and a lot of us with trauma really understand
that need. It is a comedy and so much of it is
really funny. But Erin does such an amazing job
of showing what it is like to be traumatized
and to be neurodivergent and to have those aspects
that are not like we're not always super quirky
and fun and the kind of things that get portrayed
on the mainstream media. Not a superpower. Exactly.
So, yeah, just as someone who has struggled with
low self -esteem. And a lot of that coming from
my struggles with being ADHD and autistic. I
think I was 28 when I was diagnosed. Like I had
serious problems with my self -esteem and with
calling myself all of these words like lazy and
like, you know, like a terrible person basically
because I was struggling. I barely graduated
high school because I wasn't diagnosed until
I was 17. In America, parents send out like announcements
saying, hey, Megan's graduating, come send her
money. You know, my parents didn't even send
those out. because they didn't know if i was
going to graduate because i struggled so hard
and so yeah you do have the issues with self
-esteem thinking you're dumb people accusing
you of being lazy because you forget your brain
literally cannot grasp the stuff it needs to
do sometimes you know and it's easy to look at
yourself like the way that you're doing and look
at somebody who maybe isn't neurodivergent or
doesn't struggle in the same way that you struggle
and see them excel and be like why can't i just
do it like it's so simple why can't i just do
this but that's not especially when you have
been diagnosed yeah exactly and i think there
are people who are like why can't reuben just
get over the idea of going back to work why can't
he just settle in with varak but it's like that's
not the way his brain works that's not how it
works yeah alex always equates adhd autism any
nerve divergent brain he always says basically
what you have is your brain is missing a bridge
right and he's like you can send as many soldiers
to that bridge as you can to try to fix the issue
but it's not there the problem is there's no
bridge they're not getting across They're not
getting a cost because your brain is missing
that bridge. You can appear lazy like all day
and you can do everything in the world to try
to fix it. But the fact is, there's no bridge
there. Exactly. You know, it's not something
to quote, quote, fix. And you are not an architect,
so you cannot make the bridge appear. Exactly.
Yeah, that's it, 100%. So yeah, that is why I
chose You're Not My King. And the other book
that I've got is The Flowered Blade by Taylor
Hubbard, which is a high fantasy romance, which
is an elf and an orc, essentially captive ex
-captor. An elf prince gets kidnapped on the
way back to his castle by the orc chief. a ransom
note is sent to the king of the elves to say
heed our wishes which is stop tormenting our
city leave us alone in terms of taxes and stuff
or we will kill your son that's that's one way
to make your demands i guess yeah because the
taxes have been absolutely destroying their economy
like yeah they're dying out because they're starving
yeah they can no longer afford to live yes most
of the book we don't hit back and At first you
have the about week -long travel to the city,
and then Sylvia, the elf, is mostly being kept
captive in the house with Brokkil, the orc chief.
So there's extreme dislike to lovers, but also
insta -lust. But also it's kind of like, what
is this feeling I'm feeling? Anyway, so... Also,
this book has the most gorgeous cover. yes it
is such a pretty cover yes but yet so uh some
of the other tropes in it are only one bird fuck
him like you're punishing him while calling him
a good boy oh my god picnics in the meadow um
nursing back to hell i love that one huge hog
huge hog lots of banter and not feeling lonely
for the first time ever but i want to talk about
this one for two reasons the first is the trans
rep so sylvia is actually a trans masc character
and this was the first book that i read where
there was a trans masc main character who hadn't
had bottom surgery really embraced their feminine
side but was still extremely uh secure in their
gender as a masculine person. And it was at a
point where I was really struggling with dysphoria.
I could not deal with the fact that I hadn't
had any surgery. And with the fact that, yes,
I still embrace or I still wanted to embrace
some parts of my femininity. This book was a
massive turning point in my life for that. And
it really helped me up. Like, Sylvia's character
really helped me accept myself a lot more. Yay.
Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of pressure on
transmasculine people to become hypermasculine.
And the same transfeminine people to become hyperfeminine.
and you don't have to like Sylvia's character
still being able to go and like flowers and you
know want to play in the meadow and you know
have long hair and wear flowing clothes and that
just really made a difference be soft be soft
yeah exactly but still be fundamentally masculine
and like um Sylvia even uses female anatomy names
for their body parts so he's had top surgery
but he's not had bottom surgery possibly even
a little more kind of on the scale possibly more
feminine than I am but still very much a masculine
character But it just really helped me. I love
that. Yeah. I love that. It just, that book really
has a special place in my heart. And then again,
Sylvia is also autistic and has depression. And
the representation in this book is just fantastic.
So Sylvia can't work out anybody's intentions,
really struggles to basically read people, assumes
that everybody is... I get that. Right? I find
that so hard. And the same as me, Sylvia assumes
that everybody is judging him and secretly mocking
him. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah. Bullseye,
baby. Yep. Straight for the heart. Oh, God, it's
horrible, isn't it? It's so hard to live like
that. And it sucks so bad. Yep. Right? And then
it raises your anxiety. And Silver's really bad
at hiding his feelings, his emotions. He's got
no mask at all, and he's a bad liar. I feel that.
It's funny because once you start unmasking,
you unmask everything. Yes, exactly. And it's
so draining when you try and mask. And I think
you do see that with Sylvia as well. It's just
like, oh my God, I've got a mask. Are you kidding
me? But then he's got these special interests.
So his special interest is like nature and specifically
plants using for healing. But it really brings
him joy and calm and balances him to be like
studying plants and studying healing. And he
feels really lost and depressed without access
to that. Which, again, like if I didn't have
access to my books, like it is a bad day. And
then when he like he wants to know everything
about the things that interest him and his mind
is always working. When he's hyper -focused in,
like, loses time, doesn't know what's going on.
Oh, my God, the sun has set. That kind of thing.
When did that happen? For real. I really love
The Flower Blade. It's a fantastic book. It will
make you cry. The angst is through the roof because
Sylvia, he hates himself because everybody around
him has always acted like he is nothing. And
he has very much internalised that. but it's
so good it's so worth it and I definitely recommend
so yeah those are the books that I chose for
this deep dive hello everybody my name is Megan
and I am here with Megan hi Megan hello um so
both books i chose for this week have bdsm and
king sings in them um so the book i have chosen
is called doll parts by cara d yes pause for
applause i need to read this book i need to read
this series too yes you do yes well you guys
are going to be forced to read the second book
next month just just saying oh perfect really
oh my god oh my god i'm actually glad because
i feel like i keep not doing it and i don't know
why the covers are a bit intimidating like the
covers make it seem look like it's like a dark
yeah but i don't care about that romance but
i know yeah so doll parts is the fourth book
in the game series it's like one of my all -time
favorite series i love it so much and it was
also like the series that introduced me to a
bunch of different kinks like it was my awakening
yay you know and so this was my first foray into
age play and just quick note on that We do not
kink shame. If you don't like age play, maybe
don't read it or maybe even take a step and try
to research as to why age play is a kink that
people like to explore. Your kink is not my kink
and that's okay. Yes, exactly. And I know that
people tend to see age play as a way for perverts
to act out incestual, statutory assault. That
is not the case. And if you think that, go read
an article. yeah exactly it has to do with power
exchange play and being a little allows a person
who is consenting and of age to kind of let go
of the burdens of adulthood and and work and
anxiety and being a daddy allows somebody who
is consenting and of age to be the more caretaking
nurturing partner that is often shamed in in
our society as elements of and we will be coming
back to this in a few weeks exactly i'm not gonna
i'm not gonna touch too much on it but just wanted
to like prep everybody prep you guys thoroughly
um ready for the entire fifth thank you daddy
megan You're welcome. But yeah, so age play just
allows each partner to drop their emotional walls
and to truly be vulnerable with their partner
in play. And so this book has some, a lot of
the books in this series have age play, not all
of them. And it's not the biggest element of
each book. So Doll Parts is a contemporary BDSM
romance. It is not erotica, even though there
is quite a few really hot spice scenes in it.
It is also a slice of life. life which we love
we love a slice of life i love it so much and
this one is a mmm poly relationship yes and it's
two subs and two dom and so it's noah and his
boyfriend cameron and they start off as friends
and then they start dating but they have been
looking for doms because they're both subs noah
is more of a little whereas cameron is a service
yes thank you cameron is a service And they both
have their eyes on two very specific doms. One
is Noah's ex -stepdad named Casey. And he is
a daddy. But also Casey is a sadist. Sadist daddy.
And then Lucian is a co -founder of the McLean
House, which is the kink BDSM club that all these
books kind of take place in. That we wish existed
in real life. I know. Oh, seriously? Seriously.
And he's also a master. So Cam has his eye on
Lucien because Cam's really into high protocol
and total power exchange. So both these boyfriends
have their eyes on these two doms. But then also
throughout the story, everybody kind of crisscrosses
and gets with everybody. And it's really hot
and it's really fun. It's done so seamlessly
and so beautifully that you don't feel like someone's
feeling left out or there's so much communication.
It's just love between the four of them. exactly
like because yeah Casey and Lucien are best friends
and it's just it's just such a fun fun ride yeah
and Noah's a pain slut and he's also a little
but not like constantly he'll slip into a little
space without really realizing it so the rep
in this book that I identify with is Noah and
Noah is a chaos gremlin he's not really diagnosed
in the book like it doesn't say in the book that
he has ADHD or autism but I suspect he has And
he's known for the lack of filter between his
brain and his mouth. It often just blurts out
the first thing that comes to his mind. Who does
that remind me of? He also has a slight inability
to take certain things too seriously. So like
if it's a situation where he's feeling kind of
awkward, he will like just come out with a joke.
Oh, God. yeah whoops and then even then he keeps
going with the joke it doesn't really take a
hint that he should maybe shut the fuck up like
there's a specific scene where the two subs have
finally gotten the doms in their clutches and
they invite the doms over to their house for
dinner and cam loves cooking so that's his thing
like that's part of what he loves to do his masters
is cooked so it is lucian's birthday and he wants
to impress lucian he tells noah to put on a jacket
and a tie and noah literally just puts on a jacket
and a tie briefs and it's like oh my god and
cameron's like yelling at him no just why can't
you take anything seriously and noah's just laughing
and and then like there's a part where cameron's
like we're at defcon 5 and noah's like correcting
him he's like actually technically it would be
defcon oh my god and this whole scene is just
like oh my god i relate to this so bad there's
another scene where noah says i can't concentrate
when i think i've disappointed someone oh yeah
and i was like oh god you too right oh my god
trying to sleep when i think i've made someone
mad or sad Oh, God. That anxiety, that pit in
your stomach. Oh, yeah. He's also a brat. Like
there was a scene where he was bratting off to
try to get Lucian to punish him. I think Lucian
had put his hand on Noah's knee and he was bratting
off over the phone to Cam and said something
about Lucian. And he was like, OK, maybe now
he'll like pinch my balls or something. All Lucian
did was remove his hand. oh god yeah you know
noah's just seeing me like oh fuck did i make
him angry did i upset him and he stops paying
attention to whatever cam is saying on the phone
and i'm like i've been there i've said something
that i think has upset someone and then whatever
else is going on around me just doesn't exist
it's gone yep yep yep some of the geeks and tropes
so like i said it's got the stepdad mc and because
of that you also have like a hidden relationship
um and forbidden because the mom doesn't find
out about that until the end but his mom's also
an asshole oh good you know we don't like her
no we do not it has dollification it does so
it's got it yeah it's got a really hot dollification
scene it's got sounding oh yeah a public sounding
demonstration which is really hot i feel like
i'm the one who's most excited about that out
of all of us yeah it has a consensual non -consent
scene if you're in their bed you have it's all
open it's a free for all like free use yeah do
whatever you want fee for all in bed so then
it has somnophilia i love some oh yeah i enjoy
that me too right reading it it's got the bondage
and the impact play that sort of thing and then
so like those are the kinks the tropes are like
there's great disability rep in it and found
family because like i said this is the fourth
book in the series so you have a lot of the other
people that we've already met in the previous
book yes all getting together this There's a
really fun scene where the brats play a prank
on the doms. Yes. And so that was really fun.
That's my favorite scene of the whole book. Oh,
yes. Me too. I know. Me too. They're like, we're
so proud of you, but you are getting it later.
Yeah. Kate, who's from the second book, is kind
of still mouthing off to his daddies. And they're
just like, uh -huh, keep talking. you're getting
yourself more and more in trouble and then noah
simply responds with okay boomer oh my god wow
he really wants that spanking huh yep yeah exactly
oh i can't wait for you guys to meet these characters
i know they're so good they're so good this series
is so great and we'll probably eventually do
a deep dive on on all of it yeah And then the
second book I chose was Inhuman Nature by Mara
Moore. Who we love. Yes, absolutely. I think
I'm the only one that hasn't read it yet, but
I do have it on the TBR. I'm just really slow.
Yeah, I can't wait till you read it. So yeah,
this one is a paranormal romance with another
polyamorous relationship. With one vampire and
two humans. Yes. And the mute cute is a BDS sub
club. So we have Rake and DJ and Rake is the
dom and DJ is the sub. So Rake is autistic and
DJ has ADHD and also struggles with his body
image. He's a plus size character. He's just
got a little belly. We love a belly. Yes. We
love a belly boy. But he struggles with it because
his family gives him crap for it, which. We hate.
We do not appreciate. No, not even a little bit.
Yes, we do not appreciate. No. And then Sean
is the vampire who. Total sweetheart. Is a redhead.
One of my redhead reads. That's what we know
about him. That's all we would say about him.
No, Sean's also a sub, though. And just. Hmm.
it's very sad he the book starts off with him
chatting online with a man who's claiming that
he's a vampire but sean is kind of like vampires
aren't real into twilight and ends up getting
abducted by this vampire who then forcibly changes
him yeah Oh, it's so good. But poor Sean. My
poor baby Sean. Rake and DJ's relationship is
like so good. Yes, it is. They are green flags
all the way. Oh my God. Yes, exactly. Like, yeah.
Yeah. Rake is just such a perfect dom. Like he
just, his love for DJ and it's just, just like
beautiful. And the minute they see Sean walk
in and they're just like, there's that sub again.
And they like, just want to play with him. And
they just both instantly want him to be part
of their relationship, which is just, I love
it. when that happens in books since rick is
autistic he struggles with a lot of similar things
i do like he talks about touching and stuff like
that so he doesn't like when people touch him
without without his acknowledgement or without
his permission um and he there's a part where
he talks about how he struggles with texture
and food which i do too yep i like it because
mara does not make it a huge flashing autistic
autistic autistic sign above his head you know
it's just who he is um and then dj's like the
sunshine just have fun noah 2 .0 you know like
just blurts whatever is in his head such a golden
retriever yeah such a golden retriever and so
i'm like i feel like both of them are just both
sides of my brain like running into each other
yeah so yeah this book it's got i think it's
got it's got a shibari scene it definitely has
shibari yeah yes It has a shibari scene. Actually,
I think it's like predicament shibari. It's predicament
bondage as well. Oh, so good. More predicament
bondage plays. Seriously, though. Like, for real.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's got public
play, obviously, because they love to do this
at the club. Yes. It has biting and blood play
because Sean's a vampire. It has spanking, it
has edging, and it has a really hot scene at
the end in a graveyard. yes spooky where blood
is used as lube oh so good and then book two
is really great too oh book two is my favorite
i just i gotta get i gotta get to that one i
honestly think it's gonna be one of my top 10
books of the year oh wow i'm putting it out there
right now yes yeah High praise. It's very good.
It's so early in the year, too. It's only April.
I know. I know. Yeah. That's how good these books
are. She does a really good job of including
really funny scenes and humor and sweet scenes,
like really sweet. Yeah, there's a lot of really
good humor in it. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, those
were my picks. What about you, Katie? OK, for
my books, I flip flopped around a lot, but I
didn't want to pick books that were like super
sad or like I didn't want it to just be downers
on the stuff that I was going to like talk about.
I didn't want to bring the mood down. And then
so my first book. I decided to do one of my favorites.
It's Emily Antoinette's Behold Her. Yes. I always
credit Emily Antoinette to like bringing me to
Bookstagram because I started reading romance
like a few years ago. And then I was like on
Facebook and stuff. I didn't even get on Instagram
for a while. And then I discovered Emily Antoinette
and joined. her discord and through there i discovered
instagram and bookstagram and everyone on the
discord encouraged me and i started a bookstagram
and like it opened this whole world to me and
it was yeah i'm so glad you did thank you emily
thank you for bringing me my bestest friends
it's been a great time and the other two but
beholder is one of my favorites it is a really
spicy really fun um kind of like stalkery monster
romance yeah yeah so you've got max who is a
succubus slash witch and then you've got mona
who is a beautiful plus -size lady i love her
and i've seen this cover oh my gosh okay side
note Every single one of Emily Antoinette's covers
are my favorite because her artist Fires, just
shout out, like amazing book covers. So good.
Anyways, again, it's like kind of stalkery romance.
Essentially, Max is like a PI and he's like investigating
something in Mona's apartment complex and just
happens to keep parking outside of her house
or her apartment. It's like her next door neighbor,
isn't it? Yeah, like the downstairs. are under
but she doesn't know that and organically they
actually run into each other outside of the outside
of the apartment complex um and like they're
very drawn to each other they're very like oh
who's this guy like who's this girl there's an
instant connection and oh sorry mona does not
know about monsters does not know about magic
like it's very much one of those books where
monsters are hidden um and there's like this
whole secret society of monsters that like all
the monsters know about but there's very few
humans in the know and so she doesn't know she
doesn't know that he is a succubus or that anything
like that exists but i chose this book because
i wanted to talk about mona and her struggles
with like depression because it's a really big
part of the book the beginning of the book kind
of starts off with her talking about just like
things haven't been the best for her she had
a dog that she was really close with like her
beloved pet yes oh no who passed away six months
ago and it's just been really lonely yeah i know
it's just been really lonely and hard to to cope
with that loss but also while she's dealing with
that like she has close friends but they're also
all living their own lives like you know one
of them has a kid and one of them was going through
a divorce and is back in dating and like and
so there's these times where she's like reaching
out for connection like they do like a game night
and everyone's canceling all the time because
they've got their own things going on and like
her life yeah her life has just her world has
become really small and lonely yeah and she doesn't
she doesn't have anyone else to reach out to
or anything else and it's just very like yeah
i thought that the depression rep in this book
was just so accurate like so real and so relatable
i still think about that's why well that's why
i chose this book um one of the things that she
ends up doing is she ends up trying to find something
that brought her joy like a hobby or she's trying
to remember of like bring light to her life again
and so she ends up looking up classes for dancing
and finds a pole dancing like burlesque class
that just happens to be starting with like a
beginner class. And she's like, this is meant
to be. So she signs up and one of her friends
actually ends up signing up with her, Grace.
And so they signed up to do this burlesque class.
And there is some, so she's a plus size character.
And so there is a little bit of like her, like
there's not like a part where she's like, oh,
I hate my body or whatever. Like she is a confident
woman, but she also is a confident woman that
knows that like she's living in a plus size body
in a very unforgiving world when it comes to
people who are plus size. Yeah. And Emily Antoinette
is really good, in my opinion, about writing
plus size bodies. I've read like 90 % of her
books. And every time there's plus size up, I
always feel like it's done with like care and
consideration. And it's not just throwing in
like, oh, yeah, she's super thick. But you know
what I mean? Right. But so Max and Mona, like,
eventually she figures out that, like, he's not
stalking her. He's actually stalking somebody
else in her apartment complex. So that's fine.
I was going to say, they have a sort of almost
a CNC kind of dynamic, don't they? Where they
sort of role play that he is stalking her. Yeah.
Once they get together, they very much like playing.
They have. a really really hot dynamic where
she loves to be fake stalked where he'll like
she'll literally like they'll set it up beforehand
she'll like be walking and then she knows he's
coming but she doesn't know when or where and
then he'll come and like take her and fake kidnap
her and you know just ravish her and it's so
spicy it's so good but normally i can't read
like i really struggle with with dub con or non
-con or anything like that but in this case it's
all set up beforehand so there's like consent
and communication about everything and they have
signals and and safe words and stuff like that
but oh my gosh it's so spicy yep it's really
good also she does like heal as well doesn't
she in terms of of her grief for her dog. One
of the things that actually happens is She learns
about the magic and she learns about Max being
a succubus and a witch. And actually he discovers
that her dog is still there. Like the ghost of
her dog is still there. And makes like a magical
collar for the dog so that she can see the dog
again. It's really cute. It's really sweet. It's
really like a pretty big part of the story because
a lot of her grief is over losing the dog. And
there's a part where she's like making a sandwich
or something like that. And she like drops him.
chips on the floor and she's like oh the dog
will get it and then she realizes the dog's not
there and oh yeah i know i think anyone that
has pets can relate to like that fear of of losing
them and just the heartbreak of losing a friend
that you've had so I have always struggled with
my depression and I know that like it's not one
it's not something that you can just wake up
and be like okay you know what it's fine I'm
gonna be good I'm gonna like just shake it off
kind of thing like that's not how depression
works no depressive episodes are so hard to dig
yourself out of and like that awful feeling of
like being being out of your depression and like
being good for a while and then all of a sudden
you realize that the clouds have come back and
you're just you see it happening and there's
not really much you can do sometimes like it
just happens i just the way when i read it it
was almost kind of hard to read because i was
like damn man like it's like you're taking the
words out of my mind it's so so good now she
does heal though like the the class really helps
her she finds at some point there's like a point
in the book where she realized that she has this
awareness of like oh my gosh like i can kind
of see the light again like I'm I feel so much
lighter and like I'm I'm finding joy and like
things are feeling the way that they used to
feel before I was in that episode and like just
super super sweet and healing it is a super spicy
sweet loving book i max and mona together like
10 out of 10 so hot um and grace the friend that
she does the class with also gets a book which
is oh my gosh that one so spicy it's a sapphic
vampire human chronic illness rep i i love that
book so much it's so good afterglow and it's
this is the start sort of a whole series of monster
romance the moonvale series but it's starts with
my favorite book man eater which i'm not going
to talk about other than to say i love it it's
so good so yeah that was that's what i wanted
to talk about behold her and the depression rep
and the other book i've already talked about
but i can't stop thinking about it and i just
wanted to talk about it more is enchanting in
envy by nick knight i recently read that i arc
read it it recently came out and so that book
is we love book four in the passing through cafe
series and that one is with zef and bryce so
zef is asexual agender and they are one of the
people that work at the cafe they're like the
baker they work like baking the things and they
recently lost a roommate and so they have an
open bedroom and they happen to learn that Bryce
needs a place to stay in purgatory because he
is coming to work at like a work study program
he's a veterinarian so he's going to come work
in purgatory on animals in purgatory to learn
about them and stuff and Bryce is demisexual
pronouns he him So Bryce moves in with Zeph and
it's really sweet because Zeph is like very particular
about their space and like has just very structured
routines around how they live. And one of the
things is like they have this mug system and
they're like very concerned about the mug system.
It's really cute. I picked Enchanted by Envy
because I related with Zeph and their relationship
and they're asexual. myself consider I consider
myself asexual and I just really related to the
way that the relationship was between them I
found so much comfort in reading the way that
Zeph and Bryce were together because it starts
really slow like they are just roommates and
in fact it's like Bryce is not having the best
time when they first move in um he's like Zeph's
kind of really picky and like this is a lot um
but they're always really nice and like they're
very good at talking to each other about like
hey like you know if you want me to do things
a specific way when it comes to the mugs like
you know let me know or or whatever like they're
really respectful oh eventually Bryce starts
like noticing that like he likes being around
Zeph and he likes he starts to realize he likes
Zeph and Zeph is um one of the things that Zeph
doesn't like being touched they are touch averse
and so really the only person that touches Zeph
I think is Tad who's like this We don't know
what Tad is. We don't worry about what Tad is.
We don't know. But very few people really have
any physical contact with Zeph, and that's the
way they like it. Everyone's really respectful
about it. Actually, it's really sweet because
all the cafe family are really protective of
Zeph because they're so, I don't know how to
say it, but because they are protective of their
physical space. It's really sweet. Everyone's
always making sure. Yeah, but over time, like,
they start, like, it's just, like, the brush
of a hand against Zeph's hand when they're walking
down the hallway. Or, like, a hand on the back
when you're passing by. Like, it starts, like,
such small, soft brushes like that. There's never
a point in the relationship where it gets really
deeply sexual or anything like that. There's
kissing and cuddling and affection. But I just
really liked how it is a perfectly loving, complete
relationship between two people with respect
to Zef and how they identify as asexual. And
I just really liked the representation of it
showing a happy, healthy... relationship between
two people who both they're not both asexual
only only Zeph is but Bryce takes such care and
consideration when it comes to Zeph because he's
always super respectful and like asking you know
what is okay with Zeph what Zeph needs so like
there's yeah there's a part where like where
Bryce is like super excited and he like isn't
sure like what is okay what's not okay and so
like they talk about it and I think there's like
a part where where like Zeph does like watch
him like jack off but like it's not there's like
never pressure or expectation and it's more just
like a curiosity or to watch and like Zeph is
like open like i'm flattered that you're attracted
to me like this oh yeah it's really cute i don't
know like i it does like there it does have spicy
scenes like there it is spicy and that like it's
hot how attracted bryce is and how he finds such
enjoyment and just like just cuddling and zeph
zeph is the same way like zeph loves being around
Bryce and like being in his space and there's
like the comfort of having someone to come home
to and having your partner it's just such a sweet
loving adorable I just want to scream about this
book so much it makes me so happy I've only read
I think i want to say like two books that have
asexual representation it's this one and there
was a an emmy sanders book i i mean it's not
a super common thing in the books in the romance
books i feel like but i just really like the
representation and i liked how safe and sweet
and normal it like it was just written so normally
it wasn't like the whole book isn't isn't written
about the fact that zephyrs are asexual it just
happens to be that they are asexual if that makes
sense yeah I'm just going to throw in my obligatory
E .M. Lindsay recommendations. They have some
really great ace rep in some of their books.
So just throwing that out there. I need to read
more. Isn't Lando asexual? Oh, yes. Yes. Sorry.
Lando from Try Again Later is asexual. Finding
You by E .M. Lindsay is the book that I was going
to shout out. I wanted to add a little bit more
about the Enchanted. Just a quick thing. I just
really like there's a part where because Zeph
doesn't have any desire for sex or anything like
that. There's a quote. They may have been wired
differently than most, but they were not wired
wrong. Tad told them so and Tad did not lie to
them. And I just really like that. Yeah, definitely.
I thought it was just really sweet. And so I'm
like in my 30s. I did not really. know or realize
about myself that I was asexual until much later
in my life and it was kind of like an awakening
for me like to realize like oh wow because that's
something you think that you would know and so
to know that like it's yeah it's really not but
to realize like for there's a reason why I've
always struggled with that with that like that
part of my life and so to to kind of have a reason
not a reason but to have that realization of
like oh this is the normal thing that like a
lot of people feel was really healing and that's
why I love reading it in books and especially
this book one because I love the series but also
because Nick Knight Has done such an amazing
job of writing. Just the sweetest. It's such
a funny book. Such a sweet book. It made my.
It's just the best book. That's all for today
folks. Good job everybody. Listen. Listen this
episode. It has taken a lot from us. This is
really. What more do you want? Just let us go.
Well, with that, I guess we're gonna... Listen,
we're not mad. We still love you. We're just
tired now. And I need a Red Bull. Daddies are
tired. We've got another episode to record. yeah
okay yeah so all right well that is that's everybody's
uh everybody's deep dive that's the buddy read
so thank you for listening we love you yes bye
bye that's all for this week we are gonna scurry
back okay that's done we would love it if you
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