Welcome to A Little Unscripted, the show where
we pull a random title, spin a random genre,
and then try to create a film that honestly shouldn't
work, and is impossible, is way too expensive,
and no one's asking for, but that's the fun,
one idea, one hour, and zero guarantees. Let's
make this thing. Good day. I'm Ryan and I'm Logan
and no matter what we are going to make a movie
today again and again and again until somebody
tells us to stop Yeah, or somebody says we want
you to do this professionally and take over.
Yeah The machine. Yeah, we become the machine.
Viva la revolution. We live so long, we become
the enemy we thought we were. I got you. I want
to I want to live and be successful enough that
we can sell out. Yes. And then redeem ourselves.
Yes. In a M. Night Shyamalan fashion. But he
never fell off to me. I really liked all of his
stuff. He maintained. And the one like his indie
comeback, The Visit. Is that what it was called
with the? kids who go to the grandparents. Is
that what it was? Did you see that one? I'll
be honest. I'll be honest. I have not been up
on my I'm not even sure I'm on. It's so good.
Is it that one? And trap the one with heart.
Oh, OK. Yeah. That one did seem like it was a
good time. OK. Yeah, I'm a Hartnett fan. It was
like his big comeback, wasn't it? I thought maybe
Oppenheimer was, you know, because I was delighted
to see him. He's not really gone away. OK, it's
just he's just been doing a little quieter. OK,
just been quieter. I'm not going to rock the
boat. He's really good in trap and trap. I need
to add to the list because it is. That's exactly
what it sounds like. You know, it's a sting operation
inside a arena pop concert. All right. Which
is only like 20 percent of the movie. Only 20
percent. Spoiler alert. Have you seen anything
fun recently? Are you going to be influenced
today? No, I have not seen. I mean, nothing too
crazy. Been on a rewatch of Peaky Blinders because
I got to watch the movie that just came out.
Sure. So I got just that. But no, nothing too
crazy, though. I will say just because it's going
to date us right now. OK, I want to see ready
or not to. And then I also want to see they're
going to get you back to back. Double feature.
That's maybe our plan for an upcoming day this
weekend because I like the thrust of those movies.
Fun, some comedy, some practical effect, horror.
you know, interesting writing, hopefully. Strong
female leads, it looks like, in both. Yeah. The
idea that Ready or Not was so clever and fun.
Yeah, quite. You know what I mean? Even as a,
like, I'm not the biggest horror movie fan, but
it was a good, fun time. I enjoyed it. It was
quite pleasant. I'm a super fan of Samara Weaving.
It comes up on A Little Independent a lot. And...
I'm trying to remember the first thing that I
saw her, and she's been in, you know, big characters
and things, but Mayhem was one. Did you see Mayhem
where, like, there's a virus and leashes in a
building? Oh, no, that was on my list. I never
did get to it. Steven Yeun is so good. It's foul
and filthy and so wondrously debaucherous. I
feel like I always mix that one with, is it the
Bilko experiment with John C. McKinley? Exactly.
I feel like I need to watch. How would you not
conflate those? Yeah. That's another good, yeah.
Back to back. Yeah. I feel like if anybody wants
to double feature it, let us know. Cause there'd
be differences enough between them. Yeah. Um,
but the similarities to make a good theme. So
what's a good back to back, um, like food and
drink combo for like a trapped in a building.
Long Island iced tea. For sure. The strongest
you can make it. Because you want to get fucked
up immediately? Yeah, because you're in for a
big ride. For sure. Because it's tasty and delicious.
And then you think about it as like, how much
did I just drink? And by the time you get to
that much, you're like, it's too late. It's over
now. I dated a girl, and we first met. She was
a waitress at TGI Fridays. I'm not bragging.
But this was the time when they had those fish
bowl sides. long islands. And it was like the
big gag and we'd go and you get one, not five
dollars, but like, you know, I had a buddy who
beat the record at a location, seven and a half
of those. No. And we never saw him again. He
was gone. He's still on the photo board. He's
different. Now all of his meals through his draw.
He talks a little differently. We still love
them though. I cannot stand a Long Island iced
tea. What would you make? All right, so you can't
do a Long Island iced tea. No, that's a great
idea. I'm wondering what a good food item is.
What's a good snack item for that? Like a good
dinner pairing for trapped in a building. I feel
like, all right, well, which role are you taking?
Are you taking that of the employee? No, it should
be bagels. It should be like. A bagel spread.
Bagel spread? Long Island bagels? Yeah, lox bagels,
Long Island iced tea. That would be a wild combination.
And then people are freaking out and puking.
Just everywhere. It'd be a disgusting smelling
theater. I feel so bad for the employee to clean
it up. Well, in the dystopia, circling back to
our last movie, food for the dystopia is just
anything you can find, right? I feel like it.
Food's not very important in the dystopia survival.
Yeah, it sure doesn't seem like it. Anything
goes, right? This is correct. This is correct.
Whatever it takes to survive in a dystopia. Did
we have Laura Dern in our last movie? I feel
like we did have Laura Dern. Watched Is This
Thing On? recently, the movie with Will Arnett.
and Laura Dern. What? Huh? Excuse me. It's a
Will Arnett, Laura Dern. Yeah, it's a drama.
They're they're kind of divorcing and he just
decides to walk up onto a New York standup stage
and just start talking. Oh, and it's really good.
But I'm just doubling down, I guess. Laura Dern
is tremendous in everything. Yes. Continues to
be. Yes. You know, I mean, wild at heart. She
matches it with Nicolas Cage. I don't know, just
super happy. Her and Willem Dafoe in that movie.
I'd like to see them in a movie currently together,
whatever that looks like, to be honest. Are you
still happy with the layout of our last? Run
me through it again. Give me some taste. Well,
edge case, right? Yes, our dystopian film. And
we had this idea that every big pharma and and
mental health has made everybody equals and everything
is fine. Yes. Good men do something. That was
our tagline. That was indeed our tagline. You
know, brought in some Harrison Bergeron elements,
Sean Astin as a DJ, I think we got there. Who
was our big bad? Remind me of the big bad. I
thought it was quite clever. Daniel Day -Lewis.
Oh, yes. Yes. Daniel Day -Lewis. Yeah. The man,
the myth, the legend. If he agrees to this role,
it'd be great. And remember, he's an immortal,
you know? Yes. He's the alien representative.
Yes. And they left, you know, thinking that this
experiment was going to run itself. And yeah,
here we are. We have a little Elijah Wood situation
with his mean brother, not John Bernthal. Yes,
I flipped it. I forget who that was. Michael
C. Hall. Yes, Michael C. Hall, a la gamer. Yes,
a la gamer. I love that movie. So how are you
feeling now that we're smacking you right in
the chops? Yeah, we brought in Lucy Lawless,
right? Yes. Yes. As our female counterpart. Yeah,
I feel like she's definitely got the chops to
match Daniel Day -Lewis. I love her recent work
in Ash versus the Evil Dead. Yes. Quite good.
Quite good. You know what I'm really hoping for?
I have a feeling it's going to happen, but I
can totally see a Xena follow up. Oh, I wonder.
I could see it happening. If they're going to
do old Conan might as well do. We might as well
do Xena. We might as well do Xena. And if we're
going to do Xena, we might as well do Xena like
Game of Thrones style. Like we should just give
them the blood and guts. You know, we age with
the show. It doesn't need to be. It can be as
campy and fun. Yeah, I wonder if you can do it
with that Evil Dead, like the Raimi -style gore.
I think it could definitely fit that. Because
it never really had that as much. In a different
sense, I think, go animated for a quick second.
Samurai Jack decided to age up with its audience.
Firefly is coming back right now. So I think
that the idea that even if it's not animated
as a show, we could still age with the audience
at this rate. Spend 30 years. They're allowed
to see some blood and guts. We understand. It's
an adult show. Yeah, absolutely. Why not? So
are you feeling any recasts? No, I don't. I don't
have anybody I want to recast. I feel like I
thought the recast live in action. Who are you
having direct this this fine flick? Paul Verhoeven.
Paul. That's correct. Of all the masters of sci
-fi. Yeah, you're right. I feel like he did.
He does understand. He's he's. of a director's
director, man, he's got quite the range. My son
is side note, he's become obsessed with RoboCop
RoboCop's great appropriate. It's great. I'm
like, this is a satire, son. It is indeed. I
mean, you have to look at it from that. So is
Starship Troopers, though nobody wants to admit
one of the best. It's so good that they forget
that it's a satire. That's what makes the only
good bug is a dead bug. It's so good. It brought
back. What's wrong with me? I can't think of
his name. This doesn't bode well for a show.
Doogie Howser. Oh, yes. Neil Patrick Harris.
NPH. I was thinking C. Thomas Howell. That's
not correct. I can understand. Yes. People forget
that he was, it's not like Harold and Kumar was
his big comeback. He was in Starship Troopers.
He was in some things. He was floating there.
He was around in the background. Gosh. Well,
I am really glad that you feel good about our
movie and that we can move forward amicably and
do something new. I should ask you, is there
anything you want to change or adjust? No. Dana
Day -Lewis, if we can't get him, I would like
to replace him potentially with John Larroquette.
Okay, who's John Learcat? Give me give me something
else. I want to know like it's basing on my brain.
I'm gonna take my cane and I'll leave. Night
Court is probably what he's best known for. Movie
wise, I'm going to struggle. House Guest with
Kirsty Alley, Second Sight with Bronson Pinchot.
It's kind of a joke answer. But if you give Learcat
something meaty and like, you know, we're going
to give you a chance and you're just going to
be filthy evil. And you're an alien representative.
It's one of those like, oh, he kind of stepped
out of his thing. Because he could do a sleazy
bad guy. But if you like, let's like really be
evil. But I'm happy with Daniel Day -Lewis. But
if he passes, I think a certain era John Lirikett.
Which era? Give me an era. Early, I think that
maybe only one era. OK, the whole era. I don't
know what he's up to lately. Maybe he's killing
it now. I need to look that up. But no, I feel
good. So why don't we remind our listeners and
if it's your first time, thank you for listening
in and being on this whimsical journey for us.
And if you're listening for a second or third
time, thank you for coming back. Appreciate it.
And in connecting with us and doing this meaningfully,
potentially naked like we are. So when we created
the show, we created some rules for ourselves.
So in 60 Earth minutes. Yes. That's the only
kind of minutes I know of. I don't know if you
know any other ones. Look at us on the same page.
We must create a plot, a movie plot to conclusion,
a tagline of this movie. It's very important
to me, near and dear. The movie plot. Must have
a character, at least one. At least one. And
we must name a director for this show. These
are randomly generated titles and a randomly
selected genre as a reminder that we get. And
we give ourselves 60 minutes because that just
seems fair. Seems just enough to stimulate the
brain, just enough to force us to do it. We came
to The Wire last episode. Yeah, yeah, it came
down pretty close. Two minutes -ish. Yeah, we
kind of came up on the tagline very quickly.
And I forget what we meandered on so much. I
think it was plot maybe? Yeah, I think we got
hung up on plot. We figured out our cast fairly
quickly on that one. We'll have to look back
and see, you know, what, where, you know, do
we have a trend? Do we hang up on plot or do
we hang up on lead character? I... I genuinely
don't know. I don't want to give us pitfalls.
No, no. It's only smooth sailing. Like get into
our own heads. Yeah, yeah. Let's be real. Your
harshest critique is yourself, right? Yeah, you're
probably right about that. So I'm not even going
to dwell on it. We are going to... Are you good
with the genre after I get the title? Yeah, of
course, of course. All right. So we're generating
our numbers, and our numbers are between one
and 100, and that is our title. And our title
number is three. And our number one and 55, those
are genres, 55 genres, by the way. And again,
we haven't looked at these ahead of time, so
it's a surprise. 41. 41. So our title is, and
you can hear your own, oh. Let's hear the title.
Dead Letter. Dead Letter. All right. This is
fun. I like Dead Letter. I love Dead Letter.
My initial feeling is of joy. Uh -huh. Because
I think that's kind of a rad title. All right.
Let me write this down. Dead Letter, first of
all. Dead Letter. Hold on. And it's not, we're
not going to redo the Da Vinci code with this.
No. No. Dead Letter. This here, Dead Letter,
is going to be a sex comedy. God damn. Yeah,
I... That's a, that's a genre. That's what we
got. The sex comedy. Is there a, is there a classic
sex comedy that you can think of? Any national
lampoon is like any national lampoon just inherently
count as a sex comedy. Oh yeah. There's a bunch
of them. Right. Euro trips. Right. But One of
the ultimate ones, and this came up in conversation
maybe with us recently, was Porky's. Did we talk
about Porky's recently? Yeah, probably. And why
could it be made today? And it's not one of my
favorites. One of my favorites is a movie which
solidified me to my Hollywood crush, and it's
called Road Trip. Oh, good selection, good selection.
Really, really like that movie. Gosh, it's not
a genre that maybe after a certain Maybe once
I had kids, I stopped looking at it. Oh, oh,
one of my also favorites is a movie called Tom
Katz. Tom Katz. Jerry O 'Connell. OK. Shannon
Elizabeth. Jake Busey. It is straight hilarious.
Tom Katz. How about you? I think. Let's see.
Well, let's see. The mid 2000s had what was it?
Just sex trip. Right. That was just a movie.
I think you're correct. No, I don't. You are.
No, I don't think so. I think the mid 2000s were
a bit wild. B movie. No, it was like that feels
like the Beamer movie of road trip. They're like,
fuck it. Call it sex trip. What did the whole
thing was about? The kid trying to I know there's
so many I'm thinking of super bad. Yeah, like
super bad. Of course. Let's see the American
Pie movies. That's probably. Yeah. Like, let's
be real. They may have any time. Am I wrong?
I probably mislabeled, but like, what was it?
There was a movie like the whole, the whole thing
was literally, well, maybe it was road trip.
I forget what it was. Sex trip. I, I might be
just be making it up. If they, if I am the AI
overlords have pulled you wish there was a movie.
I think a lot of the populace, you know what
I bet you there is. And if not, there's going
to be that we live in a time where there would
definitely be a movie called porn version of
rat race. Sextrep. I don't know. Logan Sextrep.
Terrible. Terrible. Well, how do you have a real
movie that like a real ties you to that genre?
No, not like the other than remember seeing the
American pies. Would you call Revenge of the
Nerds a sex comedy? I feel like you have to.
I feel like you could definitely, because it's
all about them getting popular enough to sleep
with the girls, right? Yeah, in the 80s. The
80s movies were all about. Cocaine's a hell of
a drug. I just want to point that out. And I
think these have always been around, you know
what I mean? It's just, I feel like they were
more prolific in the 80s. They were definitely
very prolific in the 80s. But American Pie was
90s. Yep. Has there been one since the 2000s,
really? What about that movie with Jennifer,
Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer Lawrence,
where the where she just recently. Yeah, that's
a that one kind of sex comedy for sure. But they're
not all over the place. And now it's like, oh,
so and so gets naked, you know, in the movie,
a Blake Edwards movie, SOB, Julie Andrews, you
know, right. Topless does. Oh, my God. I mean,
this pretty woman kind of has a sex movie comedy.
Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, we're
getting our definition comedy down and I feel
pretty good about that So we are gonna start
our timer and we're gonna make this sex comedy
sex trip. We're making it I'm renaming it I'm
gonna double and triple down on it. You know
what live by the sword die by the sword I don't
know where I pulled it but yeah sex comedies
now Now I'm thinking about it more recently.
There's been a couple of, and I forget the title,
but some young teenage female -led comedies.
So different perspectives are out there. Does
Spring Breakers count as one? Maybe as a comedy?
OK, so we're thinking about what is the tenet
of a sex comedy? The tenet of a sex comedy, the
subject clearly is around sex. Somebody wants
it. Somebody has too much of it. Hitch could
maybe even be seen. That's more of a love comedy.
For sure. what's a topic that's interesting to
you and funny around sex that maybe isn't talked
about? Like you mentioned kink earlier. Could
we have something that's maybe respectfully done
around the world of kink? Or you talked about
a incarceration festival, a sex comedy around
music festivals, things that we like. What could
be? There you could have musicians. You can bring
in famous like a mock menary style. You can.
Well, I'm not necessarily, but that gives the
opportunity for musical cameos. Right. That would
be interesting to have a sex comedy letter. That
would be an interesting one. I forgot about that.
I remember the title because the title is going
to influence this a little bit. For some reason,
my brain also went to like the 40 year old virgin.
Definitely counts as a sex comedy. Right. That's
a that's a that's a pinnacle one. Right. takes
the other the other turn. Right. Dead letter.
Well, you know, dead letter on the nose, you
know, sounds like it's literary. Sounds like
it's a postal worker, you know, a lonely postal
worker. We might hate this idea or it might be
great. Yeah. I'm I'm not I'm not sure. You know
what? Live by the sword, die by the sword. I
am your baby bird. I'm here. I'm going to feed
me. Are you ready for this? Feed me. With the
idea of dead letter I like the idea for some
reason of it taking place of like this is somebody's
elderly parent grandparent and like the old folks
home and it's talking about their exploits and
potentially like before like this is their dead
letter like they get to read like hey so what's
those paths? I'm gonna postmark that because
we kind of did that with another movie with the
William H. Macy. Yeah I know but this one feels
like this is exactly what it is but like it's
more debaucherous than that. Because isn't that
Dirty Grandpa? No, I think not necessarily. No,
I think that this is more like instead of it
being that I think it's more flashback like they
get there like they open this letter, the dead
letter. And it turns out like their parent, whoever
they are, was like a well established porn star
from the 70s. Like they were known like something
to that effect, like, hey, just something wild.
And it's a sex comedy. So like we can really
stare at a retired madam. Oh, that could be,
you know, like, like a, there's a book that I'm
obsessed with and, and I'm going to forget the
name. I'm forgetting the name of the book. Karen
Abbott wrote it. It's about the Everly sisters,
but it's, and it could be a version of this and
it's about the most successful brothel in Chicago.
And it's it's true story. You know, it's amazing.
It's where, you know, the Kaiser drank the champagne
out of the out of the shoe. It's where the term
getting laid came from. They were the Everly
sisters and the shortening of it as are you going
to Chicago? Are you going to the Everlays? Are
you going to get Everlaid? Are you going to get
laid? So it's an amazing story about these two
really powerful and strong women in a time. It
was nuts. But they gave their their ladies regular
medical treatment. They took care of them. They
weren't. They took slaves. Sounds like a great.
But like I am fascinated because the book starts
with, you know, calling these two women in New
York in the 50s who denied that they were them.
They're like, we're not them. Sorry. And it turns
out that they were like the. I, yeah, it's very
strongly, but like their origins, you know, we're
dubious, you know, because when you talk to them
back in the day, where are you from? St. Louis?
Or are they be from somewhere else? Yeah. But
it's I'm going to remember the name of the book,
but the book is amazing. And I'm obsessed with
the idea of these women in the fifties who did
this thing in the twenties. Heck, yeah. And it
was just on. Sounds fun. American gangster style.
Yeah. But it's these ladies who run a brothel.
Uh -huh. OK. But they're doing it honorably.
You know, they're doing it in a way. As a comedy.
Yeah. But the idea of that could be spun into
made a comedy. There could be tons of social
commentary. Heck, yeah. But I was also just,
you know, we've got some time. I wanted to kind
of spitball the idea of, you know, it being like
the origin of sex in your world, like the world,
the philosophy, the world of antiquity. dead
letter, philosophers talking about things like
that. Yeah. But if you're down with like grandma
was a really noted I think our stories can definitely
be combined. I feel like they could be that sounds
really interesting. Because the concept, if you
didn't know, you know, it was really gnarly.
The women from Poland and other places would
be lured to Chicago by ads for work. And then
at the train station, they'd be grabbed. They
would be brutalized and then they'd be told you're
doing the sex work. Yeah. And the difference
between the Everly sisters were, again, they
Wanted to do it honorably. They saw there was
money to be made I'm buying down with notably
and it just one like really quick tidbit I thought
that's so brilliant What they did was like if
you didn't have provable money, they like denied
you so they had standards they set a grand opening
and They did not let anybody in like for a couple
of days. I think and I may be paraphrasing this
they created demand By making people think it
was so busy that you had to go And for their
grand opening they didn't open the door. They
were the club. They were the club. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah. I've been obsessed by these ladies
because I imagine meeting them in the 50s in
New York and some high rise. Having a little
bit of American history knowledge, one thing
that people forget is like, oh, the West was
won by this. You forget that there was a lot
of strong independent women who owned businesses
in the West. Truly, there was a lot of women.
forgotten to history, unfortunately, but like
they did exist. I can't give you names because
my brain is like, you're out of here. Don't like
you remember the event, but not the person. Unfortunately,
kudos to our public schooling system. You know,
I tried to specialize, but I couldn't get everything
then, you know, this gives us another really
fun opportunity to cast the grandma version.
Yes. And then do we want are we having a grandma
version? Are we just having the person kind of
find those letters and like We have it as their
flashback that itself. Oh, that's fascinating
Yeah, what what if grandma makes an appearance
at the end who write it like unbelievable? Oh,
maybe we can like like it turns out like they're
seeing Frank Sinatra for one last time like oh
blue eyes Come on something like that. Okay,
so main character young girl Yeah, young actor
what age and what like precipitates this journey?
Who's finding the letters or are we talking about
this grandmother character? Yeah, like the girl
who finds the letters like I think we it would
be fun to work in in Who is the main character
of yeah? Good question good question because
it could be a full period piece Yeah, I feel
like it fits very nicely as like you almost just
we get to the letter. Okay, so that kind of sounds
like To tee it up, it's kind of like Prince's
Bride. Yeah, it almost feels like we have a bit
of a small little vignette at the beginning.
Like, let me tell you about this story and then
bam. Yeah, it feels like that. So I don't know
if I want to go that route. I feel like it's
been done and we could do it that way. Beautiful.
It works. You can't fault it. So you like the
idea of this person who does this thing, a la
sinners, you know, like does this thing, did
this thing. Yeah. And we could borrow from that
true story. They did it with honor, but it was
hard. And again, not to make light of the violence
and stuff, but it was a period, a la later Johnny
Dangerously. As the comedy bit. What kind of
comedy era are like, how are we staring into
this? Are we thinking like slapstick kind of
stuff? Are we thinking like, oh, fast, you know,
are you thinking like we're doing political,
like they're talking about the times, talking
about events and how things kind of haven't really
changed that much. That's because I feel like
we can do a real time. Say more about that. I
really think that, like, even though we're let's
say, you know, you're talking 1920s, like we're
100 years later. It's like. Things have changed,
but have things really changed? Like in all actualities,
like having hasn't really shifted that much or
does it feel like we're kind of living the same
timeframes? Yeah, that's like that's a really
fascinating concept. I mean, I bet you could
pull. Articles from a newspaper a hundred years
ago and we can all relate to something in it
I sure there there's something about right stock
markets something about some war some famine
some fluff piece and then sports, right? You
know, like those those things haven't changed
in a hundred years, unfortunately Yeah, so it's
like I feel like we can really do some like if
not historical commentary some definitely like
yeah Political commentary on just the times and
how everything's different but the same. Yeah,
I love that. I love that The book is called Sin
in the Second City, Madams, Ministers, Playboys,
and the Battle for America's Soul. It's going
on my to -be -read list, for sure. Yeah, it's
so fantastic. And what's cool about it is the
elements you have. You have the Madams. You have
the first, like the alderman, like the crooked
ones who are trying to keep it going, you know,
would have this annual party, for example. Of
course. And it's described as when you left the
beer and just liquid was like over your ankles
at the end of this part. Yeah. Drainage clearly
a problem. But and then you have the religious
rites and it's chronicled in the book. a major
character who really risks their safety by trying
to go into Chicago and stop all this stuff. Just
putting a box on the corner and going, this is
wrong, this is wrong. And so you have all that
confluence of... Yes. So we need a couple of
characters here. Of intensity and elements that
we could borrow from this. But to your point
about the comedy... I'm citing Johnny dangerously
a lot because it's not necessarily totally slapstick.
It is a little bit, but it's clever wordplay.
It's okay. Would you consider that? You know
what I mean? Like, yeah, I can see that. Is there
a parallel that we could work off of? Because
I don't, you know, slapstick. I don't necessarily
want it to be. I want to be what I like cleverly
written. And your social commentary is great.
Like I think Coming from the heart, as a big
Pythons fan, I love the Pythons because they
reach everybody. But also, once you start thinking
about it a little more, the jokes get funnier.
Yeah. So it's like it's it's it's funny. It's
flat. It's it's just like, ah, and that's funny.
And it's like, hey, wait a minute. And then you
like you kind of dig like. That's funny on this
level, too. And it's like it's even better as
a joke. Yeah. It's like I think that something
like that would definitely work in this. I do
like the idea of wordplay and it being like these
women are quite witty and snappy and like we're
talking in the 20s, like the flapper era is in
full swing. These women are not who they're not
who the previous generation was like a little
gangster. Yeah, I like this idea. I do, especially.
Yeah, I think that as a sex company, the idea
that we could have, let's go with music for a
quick second, because jazz is on the, this is
definitely a jazz soundtrack. I was just in New
Orleans, so I'm not being influenced, but it
doesn't have to be in Chicago, it could be in
another. I like the idea of it being in Chicago.
I like the idea of a city, I like the idea of
it kind of being this, in my head, Victorian
house, gigantic old Victorian house. That's exactly
what they did. That's what I'm thinking. You
see in the book there's real photos. Yeah, it
really puts you there. Yeah, you just To your
point you smell the smells you and they're not
all great, you know, but like that's we definitely
have to have a scene where we get the tour of
the house and that's definitely like the intro
like the the establishment what's the movie with
my Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds greatest of
the best little whorehouse. Yes Definitely a
sex comedy. Definitely a sex comedy. Burt Reynolds.
Ooh, that mustache. Dolly Parton is a goddamn
national treasure. Sure is. I would put her in
this in a bit part in a way. Hell yeah. Dolly
Parton is in this? Yeah. For sure. I'm going
to put Dolly. For sure. Is she the madam in this
as well? Fuck yeah. Is Dolly our lead? And I
want her to sing a song. Oh, for sure. Like it's
not a musical, but her voice is a salve to all
of my ills and wounds. She is so effervescent.
I'm going to say I'm going to say it as much
as I can. I say it publicly now. Rhinestone is
a fucking tremendous movie. She and Sylvester
Stallone, I think, are a singular match. The
soundtrack crushes. She wrote and performed pretty
much all the songs. Do I need to add that one
to my list? Oh, we talked about this before.
Again, much maligned. And I can see again, I
get why people make fun of the Fast and Furious.
I get like, hey, why people don't like it's 2026.
We can't kink shame anybody. But this movie just
makes me happy. You know what I mean? It's like
guilty pleasure without guilt. I could see why
people make fun of them, but I truly think they're
great. I'm not going to fight you over it, but
I'm going to slowly say that you're wrong. and
move along with my life. Agree to disagree. And
she'd be like, you know what? I'm going to live
a happier life because of it. But it only makes
you realize how effervescent and wonderful Dolly
Parton is. I love having Dolly in this movie.
She'll kill it, for sure. It makes me want Lily
Tomlin in it, too, though, because of 9 to 5.
OK. Because Lily Tomlin has that kind of smart
caustic. Yeah, I can see it. She could be an
enemy. She could be a villain. We got a lot of
roles here. She could be the priest or the holy
roller. She's like the nun who comes and sets
up on a soapbox across the street with her sign.
That'd be fun. That'd be fun. For some reason,
I don't know in what role or what capacity. I
feel like Nicole Kidman would be great. Even
as a cameo, I feel like she would be a lot of
fun. All right, so. It would be cool to have
a main character who is in Dolly, and would Emma
Stone fit in this? As the one who finds the letters?
No, as, like, she's like a main character. She
doesn't maybe have to work at the brothel. What
if she's, like, the new, she's the newest one?
She's getting showed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It turns out it's her letters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's her. She's the grandma. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I've got a good way. We don't play it that way.
She is older. So Nicole, I'd love this. Lily
Tomlin, maybe the quote bad in a way. And I've
got an idea. I feel like all right, you got to
have a gangster. Of course, I feel like there's
got to be a city official or two who's in on
it. Right. Like you're saying there's this elder
man like class. So you got to have that, you
know, the city needs, you know, Nick Offerman.
Oh, Beautiful. Beautiful. Is he the mayor? Is
he like he's he's in on it? Yeah, he's got to
be the mayor and he's as crooked as shit. Yeah,
really bad. Love it. I love what we got going
on here. I love it. Is there a prostitution going
on in here? Who's the gangster? Who's the gangster?
Is the gangster opposed to them? Like also an
enemy, but also like, well, I like the idea that
the the gangster is kind of in and opposed to
them, but then the gangster aligns with Lily
Tomlin. Oh, to help bring, like, joins the church.
Somehow she convinces them. They get married.
The gangster has this religious epiphany or some
shit. Yeah. Okay. I could definitely see it.
So, and Lily Tomlin has to morally bend to like,
you know, because it's fun when the righteous
have to fall or at least do something uncomfortable.
to like, well, in the name of taking down this
thing. Yeah. So like she convinces the gangster
that all of that's wrong. Like he's going to
start. You know, she has to sleep. He gets tossed
out. The gangster gets tossed out of the brothel.
He stumbles into her. But I like Lily Tomlin
having to work on this gangster and then ultimately
like sleeps with them. All right. It's like something
unholy. Who do we want in our whole nice gangster?
Oh, that's Lily Tomlin. I'm sorry. I did that.
You did do this. I did do that. The gangster.
All right. So we've got Nick Offerman, who's
a like an alderman or the mayor who is condoning,
making all the money, giving all the right paperwork,
making sure everything passes inspection. Do
you want the gangster to be like somebody in
ironic, tough guy who's being funny, like Liam
Neeson in A Million Ways to Die in the West,
George C. Scott in Dr. Strangelove, because you
could put somebody like that in a role like this,
who brings that seriousness, but it's hilarious
that they're funny. Yeah. Yes, I could see it.
I could see it. I'm just trying to imagine who
we would want in the role. Harvey Keitel. Harvey
Keitel. It'd be fun. I could see that. As a gangster.
As a gangster. When is he even funny? That's
a good point. Like we want you to be your character
from bad lieutenant, but just hilarious. It's
just really funny. We could, we could remake
a scene from bad lieutenant where it's like jerking
off on a stage coach. He's like, suck on your
finger, suck on your finger. Have you seen the
bad lieutenant? Forgive me. I have not out of
context. I'm so sorry for what just happened.
Yeah. Yeah. How dare you? How dare I, you salty
dog. Okay, this is worth it with time left. This
is terrible. This is the worst thing ever. This
is sex comedy. We're allowed to say terrible
things. The Bad Lieutenant is renowned as being
one of the filthiest bad bad movies. Like in
the 90s, you couldn't remake this movie today
if you tried. It's so fucking filthy. Like the
end of it in Harvey Keitel plays the lead character
and he's a cop and he's the worst. He's on every
drug ever. He's the worst. The end of it, he's
like naked in a church, weeping on a nut. It's
fucked up this movie. And in an infamous scene,
he pulls two girls over, like two young girls,
and he pulls them over for something. I forget
what it is, speeding or whatever. They're very
nervous. They don't want to get a ticket. So
what he does in order to let them go is he has
the girl in the passenger seat get up and hike
up her skirt and the girl in the driver's seat
starts sucking her finger and he jerks off on
their car to completion and he leaves. This is
a movie that they made this movie. It's a major
film starting. major actor Harvey Keitel. OK.
And you want Harvey Keitel? I've got a I've got
a I think it's a DVD over here if you want to
take it. But that is a that could be like the
sickest remake ever. So he pulls over a stagecoach.
No, it's already pulled over. And he's like,
get up on the seat. And then he's telling the
lady like in the like holding the reins like
drop those reins. Suck on your finger. That's
what I'm saying. That's that's an intense scene.
That's funny for like eight people for eight.
And you're one of them. I might not even laugh.
I might say this is too much. I don't know if
you can. Anyway, as a producer, I don't think
you could tell as the tough, but he has to be
funny. OK. As an idea. Well, we put John Bernthal
in the last movie. He might fit really well in
this. He might. Or a Frank Grillo. I love Frank.
He's pretty fucking awesome. He's ripped. He
is ripped. He definitely would fit the aesthetics
of all those people. Gene Hackman in his time,
you know, a lot like The Unforgiven. Yes, he
could do, you know, a rip on the end. He was
in shoot with DiCaprio, Western. Oh, the Quick
and the Dead. Quick and the Dead. Great film
starring DiCaprio at the end. No, definitely
not stars. Russell Shannon and Russell Crowe.
Shannon Stone. Sharon Stone, Sharon Stone. I
was going to say Shannon Tweed. No, it was not
her. That's the B version of it. The quick and
that was the playboy produced version, the tits
and the dead, the porn parodies about. Oh, yeah,
they're great. So. All right. So we need to,
I think, flush out. All right. I've got Dolly
Parton as Adam. Nicole Kidman is her heavy. Oh,
she's like she's a bouncer. OK, I did have an
idea for this gangster. I have an idea. Go. I
would like to see Robert Redford. Yes. Fuck yeah.
Feels against height. How did you do that? Where
did that come from? I've been feeling who was
it? Who's the his partner in Sundance? Paul Newman.
I was like throwing Paul Newman. I was like,
he feels kind of that way in like he feels like
he's got that. But let him have some. But I feel
like Robert Redford would definitely fit that
aesthetic and he feels against hype, especially
his name. Be like Scarface McGee and the irony
is like he's not he's handsome and beautiful
Oh, yeah, like his like in the tee up to his
introduction is like he's just hideous like so
much He's like hi, yeah, he's just pleasant.
He's super pleasant and it's not addressed at
all like plastic surgery Yeah, I have an idea
for the town doctor. Okay, Billy Zane love. It's
like a weird as like he keeps coming in to check
on the ladies. He's still not past the Wild West.
Yeah, stuff yet, but he's still modern. But he's
like, you know, are you sure we shouldn't try
a leech? Are you sure we should laudanum? I think
laudanum would be great. I think his name should
be Dr. Laudanum. Oh, yeah. Just handed it out
here. Take this. I mean, that's like a that's
a Mel Brooks thing. Yeah, Dr. Laudanum. Definitely
feels Mel Brooks. Speaking of which, is Mel Brooks
going to direct this thing? Could he do it? Yes,
he can. Of course he could. Of course he could.
I would love to see Mel Brooks direct this. Does
he always write his stuff? Because I'd be interested
in exploring. I think he does. Could a serious
writer do this? I mean, all right, so let's put
Mel Brooks on the background. Because he could
definitely do this. He's my vote. He's my number
one vote. It wouldn't be too slapsticky either.
No, he can do very serious. What I love about
his movies is that again, it's on those levels
where it's like, it's funny, not because like,
oh, he's doing the things like, no, he's doing
the thing because he's pointing out the hypocrisy
of the thing. That's why it's so funny. Yeah.
And I do like having, you know, a certain bit
of that social commentary. Like, it definitely
might make a good choice because think about
Blazing Saddles. Yeah. I mean, even Spaceballs
has it. And he can do Just chooses not to lean
into serious stuff. Yeah, but you think of the
productions that Brooks films is done He's been
a part of He's all over the place. Huge, serious
movies. Forever. But you just remember him as
just making you smile and making you happy. Yeah.
So I like that idea a lot. I love the idea of
Mel Brooks making this movie. He's only 99. He
could still do it. We got time. We got time.
Well, we give ourselves leverage. So this could
come right after Blazing Saddles. Yeah. Does
this feel like a movie that comes out in the
70s, for sure? We could have Seth Rogen and Evan
Goldberg write it. We could. Like, give it that
super bad. It definitely could. Like, I can feel
it. But you need to. Here's a question as it's
not that they can't do it. It's that do we want
more white guys writing women roles, strong female
characters? That's just a question I want to
ask, because it feels like very, very woman forward
in this, especially because they're both like
where there's a madam, there's a female bouncer.
We're talking about. Not only women in the brothel,
but I'm assuming at least a lot of women because
like let's not exclude like there's definitely
men in the brothel, right? Maybe not to the extent
that anybody thinks but I'm sure that there was
male prostitutes just as long as you know, I'm
saying who's Can we have Channing Tatum as our
male prostitute? Oh, yeah single male. Yes, the
only one dressed yet. No, I don't think so. You're
a genius Channing Tatum is our solo male prostitute.
Love it. Love it. I love it. And he gets abused
by both the women and the men. Like he just gets
the short end of the stick at every corner. Oh
God. I'm sorry Channing. I feel like it'd be
a lot of fun. I feel like you could have a could
we make it so like he accidentally invents something
brilliant like down the line. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Like he is his redemption arc for sure. Something
like it's a it's a subtle drop and you're like
Oh, shit. That led to the invention of something.
He figures out the automatic blender or something
like that, like he's behind the bar. And he's
like, no, I'm telling you, there's a better way
to do this. And everybody's like, you're ridiculous.
Well, if he got serious, speaking of writers,
Simon Moore wrote The Quick and the Dead, also
wrote Traffic. Oh, OK. Not a lot of, oh, not
a lot of movies. Interesting. Not a lot, not
a lot at all. That movie wasn't that bad shit.
Sometimes you just did what you came to do. All
right. So what we have essentially for plot,
because what we have is a general idea of Dolly
Parton as a madam. She's got this thing. Nicole
Kidman is her heavy, her second in command, her
business. So we're thinking Emma Stone is our
lead. And is getting accustomed to how they do
things. Is she the reluctant, like, she didn't
want, or she knew exactly what she was getting
into? Yeah. OK. I think, like, and maybe we tie
that to a modern thing, like, you know, I'm studying
for my marine biology degree. Or, you know, like,
it's temporary. I want to become an actor. This
is a good way. I'm down. So things like that.
OK. And the disruption clearly could be Lily
Tomlin's character showing up coming in. Now
you could have the natural Emma and Channing
Tatum romance. So we could create a romance there.
You could. I definitely, I like the idea of there
being a romance with her character, but I don't
know if it'd be changed to him because if he's
going to also be the only male prostitute, I'd
like the idea of it. Like whoever falls in love
with her is some Joe off the street. Like, you
know, falls madly in love with Emma Stone's character.
So a visitor. Yeah. Like an out of town. Yeah.
Somebody who's okay. And then like the story
is they keep coming back, you know, Oh, it's
one of Lily Tomlin's crew. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
It's like, it's like one of her. Alright, so
who's the Emma Stone equivalent? Uh huh. Who's
holier than thou and it's really fun if they
get turned. Somebody, you know, like really mild
mannered. Yeah, like you said, holier than thou,
they're righteous, they're pure. And you would,
I guess, see this as the co -star. Yeah, definitely.
Okay, so that's a big deal. It needs to be somebody
really, with good chops, who's charming. who's
Seemingly not corruptible Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's
see, let's see That's an interesting character
that's definitely like all right. Do we want
to go new school or old school anywhere anywhere?
Yeah, I it's fun to think about the kind of unsuspecting
leading men over the years You know who start
out as zeros and turn out to be heroes, you know
that kind of thing I could see Daniel Craig doing
this A young Daniel Craig. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Daniel Craig. I can see him doing this role.
It feels like he can definitely do nondescript.
And he can do westerns because we've seen Cowboys
versus Aliens. I like that. So he's a straight
and he's like a very holier than thou pious person
and he's doing an American accent. Yes. But he's
ripped. Just. Oh, there could be a great scene.
Where like the the connection is Channing Tatum
because they they they connect like over Workouts,
you know, cuz you don't normally see in the West
like workout routines. Yeah, so that's where
they like secretly He's like, well, I'm just
working out with this guy and Lily Thomas like
but he works He's not that bad. He's a pretty
nice guy. I'm like I had this not you know, like
in my lower glutes And you see like Channing
Tatum just rubbing Daniel Craig's bare ass I
love this. It sounds very fun. It sounds like,
man, you could bounce a silver dollar all this.
Bam. And it like flies into the sky. Yes. And
then he goes to throw it again and like, oh,
I got it. Let me get that right in the crack.
It is a comedy. It is indeed a comedy. It's a
sex comedy. Do we have nudity in it or do we
have no nudity? Because I don't think a sex comedy
has to have me if you're gonna do doody you got
to do tasteful nudity, right? You can't like
not say you can't go for the pottery or the chaos
It depends on what you're trying to do But I
feel like you could definitely get away with
no nudity and you could definitely get away with
a lot of implied nudity in this film It's still
are for the comedy the sex and yeah, not what
what not but yeah, so Robert Rufford's gangster
I like the idea that he He kind of takes a shine
to Channing Tatum's character. Like he's a little
bit, a little bit goes both ways. That would
be fun. That'd be a fun art because it's definitely
a story that's never told. Yeah. It definitely
existed. Don't let anybody fool you. A history
is full of people of all makes and models. And
we could have, I mean, all right, if we've, we're
going to have I guess Robert Redford isn't going
to jerk off on, on the side of the trolley. We
can apply it. You could definitely have an implicating.
Well, you know what? We could have somebody be
like, whatever Gatsby, like a great Gatsby nod
and Channing Tatum can definitely do a magic.
Mike not like a little dance for sure. Like a
pole dance. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm more and more
obsessed with the male prostitute in the late
20s or the late 1800s or late 1900s. I like the
idea of this being almost the 20s for sure, because
I bet you it's a thing that happened, but nobody
ever talked about. And those that did were just
like, yeah, we took that one to the graves. And
you're like, huh. Who is? Did we figure out who
are? Oh, yeah. Daniel Craig is our. And so he
is. kind of absconded into this world. Yeah.
Of the brothel. I wonder if he goes in to find
that they're not bad people. Lily Tomlin sends
him in to like, you know, surveil the place and
come back. And so what happens is Lily Tomlin
needs to connect with Robert Redford because
she gets to a boiling point. Yeah. Now, and Redford's
like, oh, that young Daniel Craig over there.
You need help wrangling him back in. Oh, yeah.
OK. So she's got to, you know, like dirty up
herself. to recruit him to like take down Dolly
and Kidman. My question is, does does this movie
kind of end with the place being burned down?
It kind of feels like we're drawing to this conclusion
where like the place, if not accidentally that
potentially with intention gets lit on fire.
But my idea is like, if it's the dead letters,
the idea could be like, it's in the safe and
like, you know, somebody just dug this up. You
know, they're we're building a new city block.
And that fast forward to this girl is reading
that letter on the site of. Yeah, well, it's
like it's a condo now, which is kind of interesting.
This is why I've always been drawn to this place.
If you want to have a. But yeah, having it, having
it burned down and then maybe show that that.
Dolly is the like, well, I'm just going to rebuild
it better. Yeah. And then, you know, in the next
iteration, there's a coffee shop like right there
or something. And then in the fast forward into
her condo, that coffee shops, everything's still
there. Yeah. Just that. Yeah. After the initial
thing burns down. So you have this, you know,
it's yeah, I'm going to I'm not going to be stopped
by this. I could see that. Because you could,
you know, have a little bit of narrative tension,
like, well, maybe she's just not going to do
it. But I like that kind of rebel at heart. Yeah.
Type of thing. Always. Or you could have something
interesting where like Dr. Laudanam or a surprise
character is like, oh, well, I invested in this
here thing. Yeah. I'll help you out. You could.
Yeah. You know, this Apple to see a lot for his
company to like, Oh, you got this. It turns out
stocks are doing stocks, you know, like that.
I've heard about this Henry Ford and I gave him
a couple of dollars. I don't know how the timing
works, but you always like that last minute.
Like always been there. Like, Oh yeah, I can
help out. Yeah. Like we end on a little optimistic
note. I like that in a way. Yeah. The idea of
a little tragedy, then better sweet trying to
get into an empire. Yeah. that this kid just
didn't know about. Yeah, it turns out like it
was a beauty empire that she built after this
or something else. I like the idea that just
maybe fast forward. Yeah, it didn't become anything.
Yeah, like just that land, just whatever. And
you don't know what happened. I don't know that
she's in a condo. I love this there. And so again,
we may be getting into the weeds a tad, but we
got a second. The idea that she's found these
letters and she's taken them back to her place
to read. Yep. This happens to be a and it's kind
of sappy, but it has happens to be a condo on
the side. We can make it where like, oh, it's
been family land or something. So like, you know,
she got a deal. You can even do it where like
it was grandma's like, you know, like the story.
Yeah. And like, like, it's loosely related. Yeah.
She doesn't know how big I love. So she's back
in her place reading these things. And the last,
you know, like scene could be grandma walking
in. This is our surprise grown -up Emma Stone.
So you can cast. Yeah. Yeah. Like, Oh, I was
going to tell you about that. Oh, you know what
we could do? It could be Jane Fonda and we could
complete the nine to five trilogy if we wanted
to. We could. Because that's fun for maybe just,
again, eight people. Like just enough to say,
haha, see what you did there. Well, I always
like that. That's that's a little bit of dopamine
for me that gives me a little longevity in life.
But again, the idea that she there there's yeah
some kind of pole to grant I think families can
identify with that like my wife Her her family
settled Cedar Falls, Iowa and they all streets
named after them. She's got her own Jessica Drive
Yeah, so I I get that and it's kind of funny
to see and like there's your fucking street.
Uh -huh. Yeah You tie it to the place. I think
that's pretty cool. But it's just fun to know
that it came from that, to know that there were
positive stories of those brothels in general
is all awful. But some people did try to make
an honorable business out of it. I think that's
an actually really interesting concept to tackle.
They're making a sex comedy and be like, no,
it's pretty funny. We can still laugh at these
situations. It's OK. It's allowable to laugh
at this and be like, nope, this is ridiculous.
I think as a comedy, that's the point. We'd be
like, You're supposed to laugh with it is ridiculous.
We have a scene where Lily Tomlin goes undercover
into the brothel just to see what it's like.
Turns out she loves it. Or like, well, then she
she meets Channing Tatum and she's like, Oh,
I didn't know that. Yeah. Like, yeah, there's
like a burlesque show going on or something.
It's all right. And he starts like bouncing his
specs like, Oh, you can feel them. That's fine.
You know what I mean? Like all the fish out of
water stuff is always what makes them funny.
instances. Because of this time, it's a little
bit wild west. It's a little bit city. Yeah,
it's this. So you have some modern things, some
remnants of the old days. What's what's really
funny is like, if you look at history, like this
is the time when like people started believing
in fairies and like Ouija boards and like tarot
cards, like really more like it became not that
it didn't exist, but like it hit the mainstream.
But it's like, but it's also a time when technology
is hitting a stride in which I've never been
seen before. And you're like, I wonder if people
are reaching back to for something that, like,
didn't really exist because the new world is
something nobody knows. Right. Right. It's like,
yeah, this is a real fun, like, time frame amalgamation.
Like, you know, you're stepping into the future,
but like, you know, the remnants are still clearly
here in front of you. Yeah. You know, and I think
the idea that you can have these It's still more
of the same. Yeah. You can throw these societal
like there's so many ideas. Religion is this
and this is this. Do we have a Hemingway character
show up in this? Say more. I don't know. I just
like I feel like in the time frame. We don't
have a sheriff in this town. Yeah, but I mean
like feels like like a traveling. Yeah, you just
need a traveling like author. He could be somebody
who comes in to visit the brothel. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Oh, you mean Ernest Hemingway? No, just
or somebody like Al Capone or like a real person
comes in. No, I just like the idea of there being
like a Hemingway -esque like author type character.
I'm an author here. Yeah. Oh, how about? But
I mean, we could definitely have somebody playing
Hemingway to real life because that dude lived
a wild lifetime. I'm also fascinated by people
who explored America early as we were coming
up. the French, the British. Other explorers
were coming here in the late 1800s, seeing how
we're growing and seeing what we're doing. An
early commentary about this country was we're
fast, we're moving, we're progressive, new ideas,
new, new, new, not what's old, always moving
forward. And there's still oppression and equality
and all that kind of stuff. But I'm really fascinated
by maybe if that visitor is somebody from off
in the country. Yeah. OK. They're a writer from
somewhere back home. But they're also an explorer.
Yeah. World renowned character. It could be eccentric.
I can imagine I could see some eccentric person.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Christoph Waltz. Oh my God.
I was going to say Richard E. Grant. Christoph
Waltz is perfect. Oh my God. Yeah. Christoph
Waltz. Be wonderful. He has a pipe. I don't know
why. To observe your culture. Yeah. Just here
to observe. Like he's always got a pencil. Who's
that man dancing on that pole? Yes. Yes. Please.
Please. What a great addition to this. And he
joins him in the dance. Oh yeah. 100%. I love
the idea. He's very hedonistic and like has no
inhibitions. It's kind of like a coyote ugly,
but with dudes. I just love the idea that like,
because he's from abroad, but he's like, no,
I just don't care what your perception of us
is. And I was like, Oh, he's so exotic. It's
like the Richard Harris character in the unforgiven.
You know, he's, he's having his biography read
and, and that's where it gets real where, and
we can maybe play with it in this, the stories,
you know, cause like the Gene Hackman character
is poking holes in the Duke of Death's stories.
He's like, Oh, really? Is that what he told you?
Uh huh. I was there. Yeah. It was only one guy.
No, he shot him in the back. It's not what you
know. It's all bullshit and it was easy to make
up. Yeah. You know what I mean? I can see that.
All right. So the angle I kind of see is like
we could either bring him in like one. He's coming
just to visit the brothel. No, it's great. It's
beautiful. Or he's coming in as like the biographer
for a our gangster character here, Mr. Day. I
like that he's just, he's just, he's traveling.
I do like the idea. He's just a traveling writer.
He's an early writer and I'm here to write about
American culture. I do like that. He gets a room
and he's just like, I don't need anybody to accompany
me, but I'd like to have a room for like, yeah,
you know, for hour long. Tons of humor because
it's at fish out of water. Same thing with Redford.
You can give him a real mean streak, but then
make him sweet on Channing Tatum. make him sweet
on Daniel Craig. You got a lot of fucking man
candy in this movie. Holy shit. My nipples are
getting hard. So there's some hot dudes and cadets
in this film. Yeah, but then you have the lightness
of Dolly Martin, Lily Tomlin being, because again,
she can be perfectly uptight, serious, this nun
character going undercover. I can see her just
carrying a briefcase and just setting the briefcase
down and just start spewing just nonsense. And
that's what happens in... in that book. Yeah.
Like I said, I'm adding this book to my to be
read list. I'm going to find it. I'm going to
read it. Is the guy and he's pelted with rocks.
He's like in it again, there is a movement to
be had, you know, and that's what's fun. Like
Daniel Craig, his conversion should be really
funny. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Like the
reveal of his buffness should be awesome. Yeah.
And Lily Thomas, we don't talk about it. No,
no, we don't talk. What happens is, uh, he's
there. Like he's still undercover. He's not undercover,
but like he keeps going. She goes in, she goes
in to figure out what happens to him after a
while. Cause he keeps going back only like every
time he's more and more enthusiastic to go back
in and like she finally goes into like chase
him down. And like, this is the time he gets
pulled up on stage with Channing. Yeah. Like
I was just, I was just dancing. I like the idea
of them having to get clothes to blend in, and
he gets something that accentuates his ass real
good. That's the only service that they have.
I love this. This is great. Here's a question
for you. I don't know how much time is left,
and I'm genuinely curious. Oh, sorry. 15 minutes,
58 seconds. OK, so lots of time. Lots of time.
No, we're all good. It's bad production. No,
no, it's OK. I like because it's like I'm just
running. It doesn't matter. What I want to know
is, do you have an idea for a tagline? Dead Letter
is fun, because you could tie that in anyway.
She finds these letters that they thought were
gone, dead letter, what have you. Too spicy to
tell you in real life? I like the idea that maybe
we haven't come up with a name for the brothel,
and it could have something to do with that.
Yeah. But so let's think about this. We've got
a a madam Who's running this honorably and it's
hard to do you have a Emma Stone? Who's our main
character? who meets Somebody so like it's the
conversion. Mm -hmm. It's mistakes things. We
don't understand. It's being free. It's freedom,
right? you know like It's freedom, baby I don't
know. It feels good to be bad. So now I'm going
to start spitballing because it's the only thing
I can think of. You got me here with this idea
of like, what's the title of the brothel? Like
what's the name of the brothel? And yeah, I think
that's I feel like that's as much a character
as the rest of them, right? That's true. I feel
like because in the book, it's the Everly Club.
You know, so the names were kind of banal back
in the day. So maybe we turn it around and it's
really wild, like the pink nipple, the pink nipple,
the exotic lady. And then the joke is like, well,
why the why one? Right. Or something like that.
You know, or the yeah, the exotic lady or like
the purple dildo. I don't know if that's maybe
a bit too grotesque for that would lean it into
being absurdist. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if
we want absurdist. I'd like the idea of it being
somewhat eloquent. Only because of the place
that we're trying to put it in. We're putting
it in this old Victorino. So I was like, this
has some regalness to it. The oyster necklace.
Oh, that would be a clever one. It's not the
pearl necklace. Or the oyster bracelet. The oyster
bracelet. shell shocked. It's right on the come
and get shell right on the water. Well, it could
be on Lake Michigan, technically on Navy Pier.
Yeah, it's really Navy Pier institution. But,
you know, again, the idea is, you know, come
in and, you know, eat here and get laid. Yeah.
What have you just called it like the regal house?
Just something simple, you know? And then they
would shorten it to the regal, of course, in
Vegas. It's like cheetahs. It's, you know, things
like mothers are interesting names for clubs
like this. You know, like the velvet stash. Maybe
we call it the velvet stash. And it's funny because
they're not dudes. They just called, you can
always go, obviously the ones who know it's like,
isn't there one club known as the velvet room?
Am I making that one up? Oh yeah. Okay. I was
like, that's a real place. Yeah. Yeah. So it's
like, so we called it the velvet stash. That's
kind of funny. And hearing dollars, they're like,
welcome to the velvet stash. Why do you call
it that? I don't know. It's the stash house.
They're stashing people away. Oh yeah. And this
could also be, oh shit, we didn't even think
about it. It could be during prohibition. So
you can always have like, you got speakeasy in
there as well. For sure. Hell yeah. So the tagline,
you know, I like that. Like it feels good. Oh,
wait. It feels good to feel good. I was going
to say, uh, Because the idea is they're trying
to oppress this. They're not doing anything wrong.
And there's a great comedy line about selling
sex. Like, I understand it. I'm just selling
an orgasm. I'm selling, you're giving somebody
a good feeling. It's not like you're hooking
them to a drug. I am selling an orgasm. I am
selling happy. So like, come on, it feels good
to feel good. So that's the idea is like, well,
There's kind of this fall from it doesn't have
to be a spiritual fall from grace for Daniel
Craig It's just a physical and it's a break from
you know Lily Tomlin strict moral code and she
could have you know And we could she could have
a bit of an awakening herself where she and Redford
are just fuck buddies forever Know each other
forever. Well, that's the logical conclusion,
right? He has to like get into the gutter. Uh
-huh. They clearly they clearly win. Yeah All
right. And it doesn't feel good. The victory
doesn't feel great. So it just hit me. As I said,
the idea is like the stupid ass. No, no, no.
I just think I was like, so dead letter. I don't
know. For some reason, I like the idea of it.
Just the tagline being speak easy. Speak easy.
Yeah. Beautiful. It just seems very simple. Dead
letter. Yeah. I don't know if it's a double entendre
or anything. It just feels like, I don't know.
It feels like, yeah. Could it be like suggestion?
Yeah. It's easy on the tongue. Yeah. Oh, speak
easy. It's easy on the mouth. I love the idea
of it. It's easy on the tongue because it's also
a bar. It's a bar brothel. Yeah, that's that's
that fits the vibe that I feel like we're going
for. Right. All right. Well, we can speak easy
or it's easy on the tongue. Yeah, that's a toss.
Oh, it feels good going down. Oh, Like that one
feels good. That's probably that letters feels
good. I mean, they don't have to be related.
No, but it feels good going down. All right.
Yeah, I think you like that. Feels good going
down. I do. I like it. That's awesome. All right.
That's fun. As far as music, you know, I like
the, I can maybe liken it to a back to the future
three. Okay. Where you have, you know, it's,
it's a bit of Western bit. You get a little CZ
Top song in there. So who's our musical, like,
I like the idea of putting like Tito and Tarantula
in from Dust Tell Dawn as the house slash vampire
band. So can we have a house band for the Velvet
Stash? Yes. Definitely a house band. It is, though,
like a real band. Yes. You know, and we thought
maybe it's something interesting, but I'd love
a really with Dolly's help. Like, come on up
and sing. So we have a custom Dolly Parton song
collaboration. Yeah, like if it's real big fish
clutch red fang, I don't even know. Like anybody
but like dressed up in period clothes. Yeah,
it could be. It feels like it's gotta be jazzy.
I don't know why I feel like there's a jazz band.
Well, I like ZZ Top is a rock band that had a
little like I added some fiddle to it. Yeah.
So this is the 20s. It could be blues. It could
be jazz. It could be like if we wanted it to
be period, it would have to be probably in those
spaces or a band that could do it. Uh huh. Uh
huh. Like if you got Green Day to write a jazz
song a period song that's close right like or
an 80s band like I don't know of a band particular
I just know it feels like it's got to be a jazz
I do like the idea of a house band is so boring
It's not that it's not it's only jazz but the
idea is like it's the we address it as you know
They're the house jazz does country so you probably
just got a voice for anything. She does the voice
of an angel but you can't think of a band like
if I I would love to see it. Tito and Tarantula
is a great example because they're like a Western
-style rock -ish, kind of, you know, dusty Mexican
road band. What's the version of that for this?
Yeah, I don't have an answer for you at the moment.
All right, we're going to have to stall. I'm
going to stall on that one. Or we don't have
it. Or we don't have it. It's not necessary.
But composer -wise, do you want like... You know,
can you think of a composer that would be good
for it? This is my weak point in thinking of
a composer for for like a soundtrack, because
I like the idea of it being like we let Dolly
do it. Well, do we let Dolly do the whole thing?
We let her compose the music. She's got the acumen
to do it. Let's see. I think of like I'm going
to ask what you can. You can just. Oh, OK. Wait.
Fleetwood Mac's our band. Fleetwood Mac is the
band in the block. I can see Fleetwood Mac doing
that. Doing period -ish. Yeah. That's fucking
great. I can see it. Stevie Nicks. Yeah. Mick
Fleetwood. Lindsay Buckingham. The McVees. But
dressed in like 20s. Yeah. Yes, that's fucking
great. Because it's odd enough in a band like
that would probably be like, oh, interesting.
Yeah. Fuck yeah. That'd be fun to do. I'm going
to have to write. And I wonder if Fleetwood Mac
does the soundtrack because I think they've done
movie soundtracks before. Well, I think sounds
like they'd be great. I just looked up something
really quickly. Yeah. Go Internet. Joel McNeely
is the composer for the movie. A million ways
to die in the West. OK. And you think he would
do a decent job? Well, that's a great comedy.
Western. He also did. Oh, boy. Soldier. I love
that movie, Kurt Russell. Great movie. Air Force
One. Great movie. Let's see. Well, he looks it
looks like he works with what's his head a lot.
Diorville, Ted. Oh, Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane.
Yeah, I know who killed me. Mulan, too. Oh, okay.
You did holes. So some family stuff. Okay. Yeah,
I can see it. Adventures of young Indiana Jones.
He would definitely understand the assignment.
Yeah. Maybe if you combine Joel McNeely with
Fleetwood Mac, we could have a magical fucking
sound track. I can see it. I can see it. Okay.
Got to find it in the notes. Where'd you go with
it? It's all right. We're doing it. We are. We
are definitely doing it. It's happening. All
right. So I think that's everything. All right,
let's go through it. Let's think about our list.
Was it five minutes or so left? Yeah, five minutes.
All right, we've got a plot to conclusion. And
what happens is that this new person comes in,
gets acclimated, gets in the fracas of the religious
and social uprising. Yeah, of the brothels. But
she meets a young Daniel Craig who is turned,
ultimately. Lily Tomlin's character. has to unfortunately
align with the Robert Redford gangster. Great.
Great selection. Love it. Nick Offerman is our
corrupt town official who is like he has to rub
like, well, I think he has to kind of try to
mitigate all of it because he's such a scumbag.
It's fun. Dr. Laudanum is our town doctor who
maybe like has a secret like stash of money and
just gives them whatever. He keeps showing up
to like, he's the doctor. But still tries to
throw an old leech on you every once in a while.
Like, are you sure it doesn't work? He's a really
good snake oil salesman. Maybe he's like, you
know, business on top, party below. Like he can't
get his dressing correct, right? Mel Brooks is
directing. Yeah, a great selection. He would
definitely hit our satire, I think, is this comedy.
Warrens Kasdan. I would suggest writing this.
Oh, you want Lawrence Kasdan to write this? Besides
the Star Wars, what else? The Big Chill, Silverado,
I think. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Wyatt Earp.
I don't know. Dreamcatcher, he did. I could see
it. I don't know. Maybe it's not. He's not a
good comedy writer. Yeah, I don't know. I still
feel like Mel Brooks being the writer director
is a solid choice of this. Yeah, because he'd
get the satire. He would definitely. He's he's
that's why we picked him. We want him to do it.
The 2000 year old man. This is great. This movie
is awesome. Dead Letter feels good going down.
What a great line we got. It feels good feeling
good and it's easy on the tongue. They might
come up again. Those are the those are all alternative
posters. We're on fire today. Yeah. This came
together well. Yeah. Did we struggle anywhere?
I don't know. Embarrassed. Maybe a couple of
times. But no, you don't want it. Don't be so
prudish. Maybe next time, if we want to have
somebody jerk off on the side of somebody's wagon
wheel, well, they could somebody show their ass
like it's funny. I can't believe I put that in
a movie show your ass and she's got to lift up
like nine layers of cloth. And then he's like,
fuck it. It's a filthy thing to parody. I don't
know if that scene's ever been. It's a famous
scene. Yeah, like it's That is a movie and there's
so many out there, but that you're like, wow,
I remember watched it in prime days. This is
fucked up. But it was a badge of honor to say
you saw that lieutenant. Side note, there's a
sequel called Port of New Orleans and it stars
Nicolas Cage and Val Kilmer. And it's actually
quite good. And it's Nicolas Cage trying to outdo
the insanity of Harvey Keitel in his prime. Does
he do it? Close. It's different. But it's the
idea of a cop, like, really burned out and just
beyond all morals, just doesn't give a fuck anymore.
All right. But it's not for everybody. Yeah,
and Val Kilmer, tremendous in it. I forget what
you're, maybe. 2008, nine, something like that.
Would you like to recast Daniel Craig for Valley
Kilms? Right here, right now? No. OK. No, I like
a young, like tight bodied, because I like him
just being ripped. And I just wasn't sure if
we were going to go for that eight star job.
But yeah, I like the idea of, I think they all
merge really well together. I think so. Well,
here's the thing. We did it with a minute 16.
time to just write again for down to brass tacks.
Well, thanks to everybody for listening. We're
going to throw out an email address to you. You
can finally email us. That is a little independent
podcast at gmail dot com. So email us at a little
independent podcast. If you have feedback, ideas,
keep it kind or keep it mean. I don't care. We
just want to hear from you. If you know somebody
who knows somebody that wants us to make one
of these movies, that's the place to do it. How
about that? Catch me outside. Catch me outside.
Is that hip or is that lame? I feel like it dates
us a little bit. We're old now. That's OK. But
Logan, thank you for making this movie. Thank
you. Say it every time. Thank you for listening
and Hollywood y 'all get at us if you want to
you know See some of this shit or anybody get
at us, right? That's right. Anybody wants to
do it all it takes is a little bit of money and
some faith Mostly that money mostly that money