Welcome to A Little Unscripted. The show where
we pull a random title, spin a random genre,
and then try to create a film that honestly shouldn't
work and is impossible. It is way too expensive.
And no one's asking for. But that's the fun.
One idea. One hour. And zero guarantees. Let's
make this thing. Good day. I'm Ryan. I'm Logan.
And no matter what, we're going to make a movie
today. Today is a movie day. Today is a day.
Today is a good day to make a movie any day.
But today is the day we may have commented on
this in the previous episode, but we have been
outside our genre box for quite a few movies
only in bed, which has been fun. Has it prompted
you to watch anything outside of your comfort
zone? No. I did go see, I will shout out, I saw
Iron Lung. How was it? I loved it, honestly.
You saw it in the theater? I saw it in the theater.
Cool. I had to support an independent artist,
seeing as he got two weeks in the run. That's
cool. I'm at least going to try. You know what,
at least win. Honestly, if I didn't know, like,
who made it, I wouldn't have been able to tell
you that it wasn't, like, a Hollywood production.
Just out of context, you're told you're going
to see a sci -fi. It's sci -fi, right? Yeah.
Sci -fi, definitely. Horror. How was the score?
Can you comment on the soundtrack or the score?
Honestly, like, the whole time, it felt like
you were in a submarine. I won't lie to you.
And it's based on a video game, right? Yes. Does
the video game have a discernible score? I'll
be honest with you. I've never watched the actual
play of him playing the game. That's cool. So
I feel like a submarine, meaning like compressed
and so tight and claustrophobic. The the premise
is this convict is welded into a legitimate submarine
and they descend into an ocean of blood. Fucking
bonkers. It's it's so metal that it's like, how
do you not want to see this? And we had a conversation
about about my initial response to the trailer
on this movie. Yeah. And. I found. OK, based
on seeing the movie, would you redo that trailer
in any way to get a broader audience? I don't
know. I don't know if you should. I think the
whole idea, it's kind of like I would argue it's
like going to space movie, like what you're watching
is insane and you just kind of along for the
ride. Like I mean, does Nicolas Cage belong in
the film anywhere? Oh. I don't know. What does
he do to it? If he were to be in the film. Oh,
hi. I would definitely see a sequel to Nicolas
Cage. Same premise. Run it back. Well, I would
do that. I have not read or heard much about
that, but is it left open for a sequel type of
thing or is it? Yeah, I mean, the type of story
that even with. Yeah, I could definitely see
a sequel. It's succeeding. So what are the odds?
that it's corrupted and turned into something
terrible immediately, if not sooner. I honestly
don't think it's going to happen and be corruptible.
I think if he's he owns probably all of it. So
he got the rights like he got the rights from
the guy who created the game. Right. But this
is all punk rock. They seem to have been collaborating
pretty well. And honestly, I mean, he's been
working on for the last five years. So, I mean,
it's not like he was rushing on. making this
happen. I am. I'm stoked. I'm turned around on
this whole thing. It's right up your alley. It's
left with an ending that is blood ocean. It's
metal. Like he honestly ended up in the hospital
because of how much blood they used that he ended
up in the hospital because there he broke a record.
He broke a record for how much blood Hollywood's
ever used. And he didn't even make it with Hollywood.
You know, traditional Hollywood. So, you know,
he blew away all the all the records. I'm just
saying that, you know, if you want to make a
movie with practical blood, you can make a movie
with practical blood. It's doable. And hey, I'm
stoked. It was worth it. Honestly, it was great
genre because I'm thinking ahead of what we may
get because the there's a lot of genres that
we have, which is fun. Yeah, we could get something
approximate to that. But if we look backwards
for a second, we're just talking about our previous
film, The Boy Who Invented Rain. The Boy Who
Invented Rain, our romantic drama. We're feeling
strong about it. In fact, we were praising the
idea I was, I'll say, of Michael B. Jordan's
weird... medical anomaly that he can only get
jacked. Is he always shirtless? Is that something
the script calls for? No, I think he's dressed
like a hobo. We're going to treat him like the
Sandman. And he's eating ice cream the whole
time. I love it. He's just always eating. He
was pulling the Brad Pitt while dressed as the
Sandman. Yeah. And it'll be wonderful. Yeah.
And the tagline. Yeah. Do you remember? I have
written is Believe Me. Yes, I'm a fan of that
as well. I love it because it's the boy who invented
RAID. Yeah. Believe Me. Yeah. And Believe Me
as a general idea with the ampersand behind it,
right? Yeah, like something more is coming feels,
right? Like that's what we're saying. Yeah. I'm
a fan of Believe Me. I think it's great. Thank
you for indulging the idea that we could have
an Enya song. Of course. Of course. I don't know
what this movie feels like it calls for an Enya
song. Something quite earthy and uplifting. I
feel like it needs it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Oh,
boy. Okay. Use earthy to describe music. Yes,
oh, yeah, I'm okay. I just want to make sure
I never thought I I think any is very earthy
to be honest I just never heard it. I've never
had that descriptor before I understand Again,
once again, I amused on the movie and I would
be happy to go see it. I would go see this movie
This movie, I could see this movie might win
awards. Oh, a side note before. Did did you look
up if that was a legit disease? The I was going
to. I did the muscle thing. No matter what happens.
No, I did not. Did you look it up? No, I didn't.
I'm cool with it being a fabricated disease.
Anybody out there, please do get at us. You have
it. And hopefully it's not very sad and life
threatening. Yeah. Yeah. It can't be a thing.
If it's a thing, we'll hire a jester to read
your email so that it becomes not a sad thing,
but a happy thing. Well, all right. If the listeners
would indulge us, we're going to remind you of
the rules of the game. One more time. Rules of
the game. So in the next 60 minutes, we are going
to get a random title. A random. I don't actually
know any, do you know any of the titles? Have
you seen any lists? No, no. Fresh list. No, we
have a fresh list. We have multiple lists, but
it'll be a total between one and a hundred. And
we will get a random genre. Is it the same genre
in my packet here? In case people are wondering.
I went analog. I have a piece of paper in front
of me. Oh, yeah, same. We're going through the
genre. The genre won't repeat. We're just going
to run out of genres. OK. So then we're all done.
We're retired. We're hanging it up. Hopefully,
as we gain momentum, we'll figure out how much
of this we need and can have to do if we need
to improvise. If we need to cut some. If we need
to make up numbers. in numerals from another
universe. We have to bring in somebody else to
be our lead voice and we shout ideas at them.
I hope we have too many decisions to make because
people enjoy the show so much. That is a good
problem to have. I'd like to have that problem.
Once we do have said title and genre, we must
complete a movie with a plot to conclusion. And
we've we've been trying to get like one act,
two act, three act type of structure. I don't
think if we get to seven acts, I would be very
shocked. That's quite a complex film. We're going
to have a 12 act play. Breaking the fourth ball
play or adjacent may be in this list. Do we need
to do theater? We need the film that we create
has to have a character. Singular for sure. At
least. I mean, we haven't pushed those boundaries
yet, which is fun. And it must have no character.
Well, I mean, the boundaries. We figure that
out. We haven't been pushed that hard. It must
have a director and a tagline. And good to haves
writer. Somebody's got to make the thing. Composer
we've we've gotten pretty good with some we definitely
tried Scores locations getting kind of nerdy
with where it could be filmed and how you know,
we're trying to give it to you people Yeah, we'll
do a little bit of everything minimal credit
Zero credit and if it gets into award season
like literally just have us around no context
Yeah, just just don't let people ask like who
are these people? I will. I will wear a bow tie,
but I don't know if he'll be tied. OK, because
I don't know. I you know, please. That's the
best. I was what great buzz that would build
for. I will gladly accept the award for you.
For anybody who wants to make this movie and
we make this movie, I will go on stage to accept
this award. But I I'm going to say whatever I
would. I might black out. Say something wild.
Oh, no. I don't know. We have to keep the persona
of Joaquin Phoenix would be. Oh, of course. So
upset with us if we if we drop the facade. Don't
don't lose the facade. All right. So you're going
to tell us our genre. Yes. And I'll tell us our
title. All right. So we're spinning here in our
genre. Do you want to start with the genre? Yeah.
You know what? Let's hear a genre. All right.
So I'll give you the number for the genre. It's
twenty three. Twenty three. Oh, oh, oh, oh, you're
going to be. Oh, what is it? I don't want to
tell you. I want you to give me a name first.
Oh, name first. Give me our spun title. You're
going to be happy. I'm happy already, because
I feel like we can force this to happen kind
of no matter what. We have to force it to happen.
Oh, no, no, no. It's going to be all organic.
Like eggs. I always laugh when they say all organic
eggs, because I'm always like, what are non -organic
eggs? I'm curious. The ninth door. Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, say it again, say it again. The Ninth
Door. The Ninth Door. Ninth Door. I'm gonna write
the number nine because I want to. Number nine,
number nine, number nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The
Ninth Door. Oh, I see. I see our genre. It is
a disaster film, ladies and gentlemen. The Ninth
Door, the disaster film. Ooh. I love it. I would
see this movie. Have you always wanted to make
a disaster movie? Well... Gosh, yes, and it's
one of my favorite genres. I know who needs to
produce it and how it needs to look Well, here's
the thing. We can't start yet. We got we gotta
wait for it We gotta wait for we have to wait
for the official referee. I am really a Twitter,
right? He's okay. He's jittering out of the so
Yeah, so we will start our timer now. All right,
we're legit. There we go. I heard a beep Yeah,
there was times on well then is I feel like it's
a unique title, although it smacks of the Ninth
Gate. Yeah, yeah. As long as the AI universe
says that this is original. I mean, it's a working
title. We could change it. The Ninth Door. I
like this. Disaster film. Do you have a favorite?
Disaster film? Do I have a favorite? Independence
Day? That's cool. Does that one count? Oh yeah.
For sure. Yeah, it's one of the penultimate.
I think I think that was pretty great. You know,
volcanoes got a special place in my heart. Gosh,
yeah. I I try to see as many of these as I can
and have since the early 90s. Dante's Peak I
saw twice. Yeah, I think that there's a special
place for disaster movies and we can't get rid
of them. And it starts with an annual tradition
in our home for New Year's Eve is we watch my
favorite New Year's Eve film. I won't stress
you out as to what it is, but it's my favorite
New Year's Eve in its existence. It's a classic,
the Poseidon adventure. Oh, I've never thought
of that being as a New Year's Eve film. That
is absurd. That's a terrible way to bring in
the New Year's. And we've done that, this forced
trend. It's from me. And I love Irwin Allen,
and I love The Towering Inferno, and I love all
of those. I think Earthquake, they just hold
this airport, the airport films, they all hold
this weird, special place in my heart and have
for a long time. Even when it maybe wasn't cool,
like I saw Volcano in the theater, I've watched
it recently. And it's that like thrill of, I'm
not in danger, but I also love San Andreas and
skyscraper. Give me those rock. Oh, hell yeah.
Hell yeah. Greenland. Geostorm. Oh yeah. Shout
out to another podcast. I fucking. Love these
I want Gerard Butler in this immediately, but
he's oversaturated. So is he do you have it?
Do you or maybe I mean like I have no idea other
than the name of this movie is the ninth door
if it's a different What if it's a nice like
a bizarre take on the disaster film and it's
like a disastrous marriage That's that's no it's
more fun to make a real disaster film but You
are very, I've noticed this about you. You're
very particular about things lining up. So this
title, I think, needs to mean something. And
I think we're in a pickle because the Ninth Door
is a fucked up design. I mean, it's real art
house, isn't it? What do you feel about that?
Like the Ninth Door, is that on a space station?
Is that like, is that a literal thing or a metaphoric?
And do we have to work ourselves into some kind
of metaphor that makes sense of the ninth door?
Ah, that's a good question. I don't know. Okay,
well, looking backwards, most... disaster films,
their title is right on the nose. Yeah, usually
it's exactly what you write, what it is. Independence
Day is interesting because it's just notable
because it's it's that's kind of cool because
it's on the attack is on Independence Day. Yeah,
Pullman gets to say that it's beautiful line.
That's all right. And that's he's great. How
dare you? How dare you? Just great. He's love
him. We can put him in this. Ooh, that'd be fun.
Should he be the lead in this, like an older
lead? Lone Star style. Lone Star. With Spaceballs
2 coming out, that's great. Excitement levels.
Go Millbrooks. Anywho, back to our disaster film.
Does Tremors count as a disaster movie? I think
it's a monster creature feature. Ah, creature
feature. Fair enough, fair enough. Oh, you do
agree? I mean, it could be, because loosely based,
but you see that cover and I'm like, what's that
monster under the ground? without thinking of
like too deeply of like, you know, stylized,
cause I can definitely see it as an art house,
like almost project where like we're going to
take some wild artistic choices. I can see that
movie happening. Maybe we should go to a smaller
question of like, where do we imagine the story
going? Do we imagine this being almost religious
in the sense of, like, Hellraiser -esque kind
of, like, occult, adjacent, eldritch deity, the
Ninth Door disaster movie, like, humans open
this realm to something else. Is that something?
Or, like, is it...? How about maybe more, like,
hyper -focused? Like, what's going on during
a disaster, like a trauma surgeon? Trauma team
you want to take like almost like a clover fields
approach. Yeah, and you have no idea what's going
on in the background But like this thing's going
down so we can work backwards, okay? Is that
what's happening that you wanna see what about
like, you know, let's like I'm just curious because
like the day after tomorrow is pretty great and
you get to happen to see it from multiple angles
of that movie you get to see it from multiple
angles simultaneously, yeah from you know Well,
is there something a disaster movie that I mean,
a disaster movie that would be fun to play around
with? You know, you do have the end of the world,
you have by by any means, right? You have Things
that are more earthquakes. We talked about there's
plague, you know There's and I would consider
those disaster movies. Definitely disaster movies
like the Ninth Door could be like that like this
Oh, yeah, so this could be Something that's more
I can't sense that's you know, and that's in
people's minds now, you know Are we far enough
from zombies that zombies count as a disaster
film? I think zombies are I mean that's Depends
like do you do like a 28 years later situation
where like humans are on the brink and like,
you know, you know, don't know what's going to
happen next. Well, rolling through, like thinking
about other disaster movies we talked about at
the sea by air. Yeah. What I like about disaster
movies is that could we do a good plane disaster
movie now? Has it been too long? Could we do
another? You know what? A helicopter. What if
it's really small? Just a small disaster. What
I think I like about disaster movies is that.
The antagonist is nature and nature's scary.
Antagonist is nature and nature is scary. I mean,
someone made a joke. The happening, for example,
will go way the other side. Disaster movie? Yeah,
I'd say. Yeah. Hell yeah. Mass casualty events.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Interstellar has elements,
sci -fi, disaster. Yeah, humans on the brink
of famine, only able to harvest one or two resources.
Yeah. Yeah. But so there's a couple of different
categories. Yeah. Like we're defining that there's
a traditional, although, like, you know, there's
a period of volcano movies. Yeah, I was going
to say, for some reason, my Nostalgia Rosie,
you know, glasses. Do you want to make a nostalgic
one? I really want to make a 90s as real as we
can do. Volcano is about the idea of an active
volcano under a major city. Yeah. You want something
like pairing two non -sequiturs? I mean, let's
be real, like, we... Like, we need to figure
out what the threat is. You said the... Who and
what is our antagonist? What's fun for our heroes
to have to survive? You know, what kind of thing...
Which disaster do you want to do? You know...
And I've been around tornadoes. I've been in
a hurricane You know floods, I mean the wave
is a movie your drowning scares the shit out
of me. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that one's a little spooky.
Oh, let's be real there. So so many disasters
Yeah, you know things like that. Like I get really
unnerved by stuff like that Are we making like
an R rated almost like final destination disaster
movie? We're like we were hard into people dying
And we get to show it. It could be, you know,
and I also love a movie like Daylight, which
is, you know, Stallone and a bunch of other people
trapped under this collapsed dam, which maybe
that's a smaller scale. Does Cliffhanger count
as a disaster movie? No, that's more action adventure.
Action adventure, fair enough. Again, love that
run of those two. I fucking love those. I watched
those back to back. They're great. On the annual,
to be honest. Movie star. Yes, absolutely. And
do we have Prime Stallone at our behest? We could.
We could have a Prime Stallone for this. Because
there was this idea that he was supposed to fight
a hurricane and like hurricane heist. So he was
supposed to stop like a heist during a hurricane.
That would be, that would be interesting. So
it's combining two genres. It sounds like Geostorm,
right? It does sound interesting. Yeah. How about
surviving an avalanche? Oh, has that been like
Avalanche is old, but we could, you know, like
and combine it with a heist that goes wrong.
Does vertical limit count as a disaster movie?
Hell yeah. I love that movie. That movie terrified
me. It still does. Scary as fuck. That movie.
All right. That of all the disaster movies, I
do an avalanche. Yeah, people surviving an avalanche.
Yeah. Is there another element that you want
to to combine it with? You know what? What? Like
I just recently got into what's another like
big, big Another big kind of big story drama
or big I'm not quite sure but for some reason
I got into like so in Norway in places like where
there's just you know mountains that are publicly
accessible yeah people just put on their skis
and cross -country ski up the top of a mountain
yeah and if you know they don't judge it right
like that's an avalanche yeah and they just get
to judge it it's like that's kind of terrifying
you just out there can we have one dangling like
danger Oh, of course. Like a main character.
Yeah. There's something really scary. Really
scary. Really scary. Yeah. That's adjacent to
this. All right. Yes. So the Ninth Door can have
anything to do with this. It sounds like the
Ninth Door is like, like this, like Holy Grail,
like ski passage, like once in a million years.
That's exactly like somewhere buried in the back
country. Maybe. Okay. Maybe that's the thing
that caused the avalanche. Yeah. We can work
that into it somehow. And if it's marketed right,
you know, the Ninthor, it's woven in and like,
that's the thing. I just recently watched Apollo
13. So this is taking place as like a ski resort
in the mountains. Yeah, I like that. Which mountains?
This is, you know, because I love Cliffhanger,
but it's not the same. Yeah. Which mountains
I don't know like Rockies you want to be like
the the Appalachian you want to be out like the
Alps where you want to be What if it's like a
really intense place and it's filled with people
who are normally good at this stuff And they're
really tested. Oh like like it never had like
it's like they're doing like an actual like ski
patrol It's something that's a little more actually
goes down. Yeah Like an actual event. And so
you do have a good mix. And it's on a day when
there's somebody they're visiting. You know what
I mean? But you normally have a really tough
contingency. Here's what happens. They're showing
off. And there's like little lawyers there. And
they're showing off for the lawyer. Jurassic
Park style. Fucking lawyer. I'm not going to
reveal where I worked or what I did, but there
was a time when my manager brought out the lawyer
and right as they said something to the lawyer
about nothing ever happening, that's when the
thing happened. And it was to this day, the funniest
thing looking back hindsight, 2020. So it's like,
of course we do it. It's like, and I don't know
if this exists, but this changes direction a
little bit, but it's like a high end resort ski
thing in a really dangerous place. Yes. That
is very known to be safe, but it's like only
for the really macho strong in this thing It's
yeah, it has it has its own elite It's got some
like who are you know, it's grandiose. Yeah Yeah,
yeah, did we talk about this recently? Did we
talk about on the last show which holy shit?
There's a movie called I think Copper Ridge does
this make sense Jim Carrey and Alan Thicke? It's
a ski, it's like a ski bum movie. Sounds, it's
Howard. It's on MST3K and it's a buddy movie
from before when Jim Carrey was really famous,
him and Alan Thicke. Yeah, Robin's father. Yes.
And it's a weird like buddy ski comedy. It sounds
very Canadian, which of course they are. Unbelievable.
I bet it is. So this stuff's on my mind. I think
this kind of thing is scary to me. The avalanche.
Well, it's natural. The thing about nature is
nature scary. Yeah. And I think with technology
now, if we do this modern, we could use technology
to make the experience like really scary, like
to make like I want you to feel like you're being
suffocated, like there's hope. You don't have
hope. So this feels ensemble. Ensemble. I feel
like. Oh, hell yeah. Yes. That's the best part
of disaster films. You've got to bring in everybody
from everywhere. Like there's got to be a really
old school star. Yeah, you've got a family. OK,
we're going to. We have 45 minutes. You want
to do this? Yeah. OK, so we have a family. Got
to have the family trope. OK, you have the lawyer.
Oh, yeah, definitely the lawyer. Who's our main?
We have to have a main. Are they like the GM
or is this like the server? Is this like the
cook who got called in on reserve? Doesn't want
to be there. It's like it's Steven Seagal. Yes.
Is this an everyday person? Is that like ish
an everyday person who's stuck in this? This
is this is exactly like I like that like a worker.
It's like it's like beside with a checker cast.
Can it be Tom Jane? Thomas Jane? In his prime?
Oh, of course. I love him. But is he too close
to Deep Blue Sea? You know, because he's like
the guy with the checkered past. Anyway, if we're
going to... There's always that guy. You know
what? We're not doing an adventure. Like a fighting
thing. No, no, they're not fighting. So we just
need somebody. Is this a male lead? Are you seeing
a male lead who's like a worker? I was just thinking
you need to have somebody that's an everyday
person who... Could potentially survive this
right? I like the idea of the the actually the
hero being one of the weaker people Yeah, like
is it or somebody that you don't know the fan?
Yeah, there's a family. There's always I think
the family's always got to have at least somebody
survives it Well, yeah, I think most of the family
should die. Yeah, like maybe our lead is this
member of the family who's visiting? Or there
they're a family visiting this intense Resort
and this is maybe the wicker lace that has like
the best ski hills the best jumps like super
elite Yeah, I like that is super rich and they're
ready. They're like this is great Yeah, yeah,
this is this is like a ranked like, you know
high echelon So is he the weakest link of this
really kick -ass family? Who the one who survives
buddy and he is the star of the film. So we give
ourselves a and cheesy 80s vibe, a cliffhanger
vibe, but make the lead a little bit younger.
For some reason, I'm not saying that this needs
to be the main. But and they need to play down
how kick ass they are. I would love our heroic
father figure, the one who's probably ultimately
going to sacrifice himself. Oh, yeah. I would
love that to be Denzel Washington. Can I, can
I say that? I would love Denzel Washington. That's
a huge win for this movie. That he seems like
he would kill in a disaster movie on this scale.
I know Kurt Russell would do it, but, but I want
Denzel to do this. You son of a bitch. Yeah.
Like Kurt Russell's great. Billy's name would
be great, but I think Denzel. Oh yeah. I like
that idea. I like Denzel. I really like, okay,
so this gives us a, a that's our gravitas and
that's our big. Yeah. our like our big he's he's
he's our dad is the death early. No, I think
the death is late. He barely made it. We make
it like they'll never get to the 90 percent mark.
Ninety nine right at the finish line. And he
penultimate sacrifice. Holy cow. Have to. Have
to. Oh, this is good. I don't know how he's going
to sacrifice himself to save everybody from an
avalanche, but he's going to do it. We're going
to make this happen. Yeah. And hopefully we're
going to have base jumping. I don't know. He's
going to look either. We're going to run out
of parachutes and he's going to wear their avalanche.
There could have to be like we have to fall and
then go. There's a helicopter over there and
we don't have the space for this many people.
And he's like, don't worry, I'll divert the avalanche
with my my TNT. I don't know. I'll shoot a flare
at it, you know. Oh, this is great. This sounds
so fun. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be tripe.
You know, Denzel is going to kill this role.
Yeah. OK, so the lawyer is the lawyer. I like
having a lawyer there for no reason. Yeah, I
love the lawyers. Like a shithead. Like, can
we the lawyer be Zander Berkeley? Do you know
who that is? I don't know who that is. He's a
character actor. Do you have your? I'll use my
internet device. He's. He's. always kind of a
turd in something, but he's the good guy, in
my opinion, in Gattaca. Okay. And Gattaca is
a movie. Have you seen Gattaca? I have not. Even
my wife has told me it needs to be on my list.
All right. His top four. Oh my gosh. Well, he's
Van Cleef and Shanghai Noon. He's in Apollo 13.
Do you not know who this person is? Holy cow.
We're doing it again. I'm showing my age. I was
like, I've seen all these movies that he's in,
but it's like, but he's just this guy. Just this
guy. He's this guy, just this dude. But I think
he'd be great in this. All right. So I'm going
to, I'm going to say Xander Berkeley, unless
you end up like nixing it, but he's, he's our
lawyer guy. He's yeah. Just a lawyer guy who
could be a good guy who could be a shit head.
Just perfect in between. Okay. Just a guy. Yeah
All right. I like what we're doing because we're
we're in an older demographic right now. Mm -hmm
Dipping we're dipping into that like 90s theme.
Yeah, but our leads gonna be younger Yeah, our
leads gonna anchor this and something younger
and something cooler. All right, so Denzel's
our father heroic father figure We have our lawyer
Do we have a general manager of this resort?
They don't even have to be the general manager
of the resort They could be like the ski shack
guy like that I want that I want there to be
a blue -collar person who somehow go away Wilson
Oh Wilson and now he was going on the ski shack.
It seems he's the GM to he's also go Martinson.
Oh As the ski bum done. Yeah done Vigo, please
any any time any movie? We will make it for you,
please. Yeah, no, I like that a lot. I like that
a lot That would be fun. That would be a great
time. How many kids? Are they adult children?
Are they younger children? We need our lead.
This is the thing. We're thinking it's the kids.
You want the kid to be the lead? Is the mom our
lead? Oh, I like that. So an older... Yeah. Very
rarely do we get to see moms be heroes in these
disaster movies and moms are heroes and if that's
not a shirt I would love to make moms our hero
sure and We're making a mom's our hero shirt.
I Don't really like that Cuz shout out everybody's
moms, even if they're terrible at least you got
a mom Could it be Viola Davis It could easily
by be Viola Davis and her pride in her prime.
Does it feel like we're, not to say that she's
a bad choice, not to say that she's not a bad
choice. Does it feel like she's the low fruit
on like the easiest pick on the tree? Like not
to say that she isn't going to, not to say like
she isn't amazing and would definitely do this
role. I'm just trying to be like, can we dig
further? Angela Bassett, like strange days. Angela
Bassett, jacked in that. I can see that. You
can look it up if you're not. I'm going to look
it up. Device, help me. Strange days came up
recently and I haven't seen it in a long time.
We're actually just you and I were just talking
about. Ray Fiennes in in brooch, but I was very
attracted to Angela benefit in the movie. Strange
days, she's just kind of lean and mean and tough
as shit. I don't know. I'm down, I'm down. And
again, she's just a great actress and she's somebody
who, you know, I think could survive something
like this. We're definitely forcing them to play
against type, right? Everybody's expecting Denzel
to do the heroic thing and not say that like
Angela Bassett's character is gonna be doing
It would be nice to tee her up with some kind
of you know weakness or like she's not the strongest
like you may not think like Neve Campbell in
In skyscraper. Have you seen skyscraper not seen
skyscraper? Yeah, you fucking amazing fucking
amazing movie Neve Campbell on that fucking rock
star. She plays his wife And she is like an army
medic or something. She's trapped with the kids.
He's on his own thing outside the fucking building
trying to get in. She is with them trying to
get out and it's bad ass. And you're like, Neve
Campbell's been the shit since the beginning
and is still the shit in 2000, whatever that
is. And Scream 17 or whatever is coming up. It's
going to be amazing. But I like that. And she's
like the unsuspecting star of that fucking movie.
Although fucking Dwayne Johnson is duct taped
to the outside of a building in Asia. It's fucking
spectacular. All right. So that's the energy.
That's the energy you want to bring to it. What
you said got me pumped up about that. It's Angela
Bassett trying to get her family out of an avalanche.
She gets to be... This is our Sarah Connor moment.
She gets to show that she's a badass. Yeah. And
I think about that same thing. Like, I remember
what a moment it was that... After all that time,
I get it. And you see her doing those pull ups.
All right. Let's see. All right. So what's the
premise that brings this family? Let's not forget
Demi Moore. Demi Moore, G .I. Jane. Of course.
Of course. Because I think she did like a one
-handed pull up on Late Show or something. Or
a push up on Late Show. All right. I love this.
So do we have a premise that brings this family
to this? Elite ski resort. It could be anything.
Like they could just be like a disaster movie.
It's so light hearted. Don't you feel here for
Christmas? Whatever the fuck. But you know, I'm
interested in some subplotting. Yeah, but we
need some more people. I love this Viggo Mortenson
GM. So we have a family. Could we have a what
are other characteristics of intense people like
somebody on a vision quest journey like Garrett
Headland? You know, Tron. Yeah, on legacy. OK,
yeah. Mojave. OK, yeah. Garrett Hedlund's there
on this Vision Quest, and he's like this shit.
Or he's a retired athlete. He's wealthy and doesn't
know what to do with his money anymore. Hell
yeah. That's kind of like his character in Mojave,
in a way. But he's hilarious. OK. He's comic
relief. Oh, this is a comic relief? Not Viggo
Mortensen? Viggo Mortensen's art? No, no, no.
And I think you could have Viggo out of character
is just... to a point like, like, like, and it's,
it's to a point of like obscenity. No. And it's
curious. And this is insider baseball, but how
this place operates so efficiently. Okay. Because
that's against this tight. You think this resorts
got somebody so fucking wired tight that they're
a dickhead. You know, this guy's just Andy Garcia
and the oceans. The most chill dude there's ever
been. My hotel is everybody's watching, you know.
This is the total opposite. He's like, I love
this guy. Super chill and fun, but this place
operates ship fucking shape like he is beating
them. I love it. So there's this weird like comedy
there. You can have some like, he's the most
intense person. Like, what are you doing? It's
nothing, man. It's all good. Yeah, I love it.
We need you to be McConaughey, Viggo. He's like,
can I be naked in one scene? Of course. Can I
bring my horse? I think he should have an animal
that he needs to save. That would be fun. A nod
to his intensity in Lord of the Rings. So he
has a beloved horse. He just has a beloved animal.
And it makes sense that that's here. There's
a stable on property. We find him in the stable.
That's where it is. That's where he's found.
He was saving a horse. Um, I like, thank you
for indulging the Garrett headland character
as, as this shaman, this guy on a spirit on a
vision quest. Yeah. Yeah. I'm down. This sounds
like he's trying to learn an instrument. He's
like, this dude guitar too. This dude's like,
he's, he's on hard drugs when the disaster happens,
right? Like he's on a hard trip, right? Yeah.
No, you know, since I was a pro athlete forever.
Yeah. Yeah. He's like the scene with him is like
him in the room like he just did whatever drugs
We're gonna have him do and then like all of
a sudden like he feels a rumbling now This is
interesting because Denzel Washington dies. Yeah
late. Are you okay with all this? Yes, unfortunately
that's oh Goodbye, Denzel. You're gonna be the
last you will not be the first Anthony Hopkins
was on screen what 12 minutes in silence of the
lambs and one bus, you know, yeah, so You're
going to get all the way. I mean, you can still
have your character die and still be the best
character. Getting very excited about this movie.
All right. So we have Denzel, Angela Bassett,
Bego Moritz. Garret. 32 minutes. This is good.
Do we want to get bold and add some more characters?
I don't know. And then try to throw out a subplot.
And are we good with characters? Does it matter
how old these children are? Is Denzel and Angela's
children in this story? Oh yeah, like they're
kids. Like are they teenagers? Or is this like
a family reunion? Like the kids are all grown
up and like, this is kind of like, we need to
get right back together. Could this be a little
bit like, nope, where they've got a mixed race
couple? So their kid has got a mixed race fiance
or something? could we could I guess who's coming
to dinner sort of thing very very easily could
be a whole thing we add into the little spice
we add into this yeah because I mean if we're
going again the 90s disaster movies just put
any cocktail together yeah and as long as the
characters are interesting and you have the components
which we've got good I think cool amounts of
we have some people out of character yeah You
have options for comedy, you have options for
tension, Denzel, goodbye. Angela Bassett as the,
because I think honestly it'd be cool if you
introduce the fiance as the hero. Oh, as well?
Well, no, at all. And then Angela Bassett. I
want to subvert her being the absolute hero as
much as possible. You know what I mean? So who
could be their kids? Do you want to be kids or
kid? And then, like, like you say, like, it's
Oh, okay. Like he's Stan felt like he's Stan
felt like he stands. Yes. Internet device. He's
like, well, sorry to bother you is the best thing
he is in, in my opinion. He's in Knives Out.
He's in Selma. I'm down. I enjoy him. So I think
he is so tremendous. He definitely he definitely
could bring that role to life for sure. You know,
and give him some action. Yeah. Something new,
something different. Let him get jacked for no
reason. He's he's this he's this movie's Michael
Jordan. Yes. No, not that he has a medical condition,
but again, everybody here is peak peak peak.
All right. All right. Denzel is going to say
that a bunch. For sure. All right. Who is his?
Wait a second. We need. Oh, well, gosh, we are
almost cardinal law that we're breaking here.
We need a classic actor to make a cameo on this.
For sure. Classic. Somebody huge. It could be
ironic. We could it could be a pairing. You know,
Russell Crowe. Oh, get a little, you know, what's
the movie where Russell Crowe gets out of? He's
like a digital. Shit, your space and you're losing
me. No, no, no. Denzel is a cop. He's let out
of prison to track down a young Russell Crowe
and he's like a program. He's a program that's
come to life. Virtuosity. We never saw that.
What? What? No, what? Nobody told me this ridiculous
movies in the world. Virtuosity, Denzel and prime
and prime themselves prime. If anybody cares,
I have a little bit of like flower gas. Too long.
Too long to get there. But he got there. I just
want anybody at home to keeping track that like
that is a Ryan's recommendation. If you're keeping
track, that's added to the list. Just add it
to list. Add it to my list. Not classic enough.
I think. Oh, not enough. Scratch it. If you put
somebody. He wants a pair up here in their prime
like I mean I'm thinking too old and I know we
have some fantasy but I think we have some reality
to this one and I want to put somebody who wants
away with some with some weight you know like
a Kirk Douglas you know what I'm saying like
somebody who's been in one before or a classic
musician who's rarely in a movie you know what
I mean like Fred Astaire is in the Towering Inferno
Exactly. So something like that, you know, you're
thinking, you know what I mean? But that classic
actor out of retirement, Michael Caine, bring
him back, you know, something like that. Michael
Caine as the GM would be fun. Or like Vigo's
dad coming to visit, like checking on the Empire.
Maybe it's better. OK, if we work from Vigo's
dad, Vigo's British. You know, somebody who's
really... Sean Connery comes out of retirement.
It's like that kind of thing. But I like the
idea of Michael Caine being like this billionaire
now. Like, he's just there. Like, this is his
resort. All right. And just him in a tux. Apparently
Vin Diesel is doing this with The Last Witch
Hunter 2. Yeah, he's coming back for that. Michael
Caine is literally... I think that's true. But
it's something like that. Do not want Sean Connery
because he it's not that it's Sean Connery couldn't
do it. It's a really want Michael Cain Michael
Cain. Okay. Which version? Michael Cain young
old. Oh, gosh. Have you seen the answers? Yes.
Michael Cain at any range. But typically this
is somebody who is older, who's like, like so
it'd be really fun to see him as a young. Michael
Caine as a billionaire owner of this resort.
And like, it'd be interesting to see. Making
a cameo. Yeah. And this is. And young Michael
Caine making the impact. Are you saying Michael
Caine or Michael Caine? Michael Caine. Michael
Caine. Michael Caine. Sorry. Anybody listening?
That's not how you say that. But you're saying
a young Michael Caine is Vigo's dad. So is Vigo
12? Like Vigo doesn't tell him that he's... No,
no, no. No, he's the 40 -year -old who just never
grew up and it's like he owns the resort and
like his son just can't get fired. Oh, so he's
a big get for this shitty movie is what you're
saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Michael Caine
in his prime. Michael Caine. Is just a millionaire
dropping in. Michael Caine. All right. I like
it. It's either that or it's Leslie Nielsen.
Holy shit! Sorry, is that... Are you scratching?
Can we please do that? You want to do Leslie
Nielsen? Yeah, of course. Right towards the end,
because that puts us in the 90s, like that later,
Leslie Nielsen. Sorry, Michael Caine. He'll show
up in something else. We'll get you there. We'll
make a movie for you. He was in Airplane, but
this is back to being serious. You know, he was
in Forbidden Planet. He's he's the he's pretty
great. He's he everything is serious. That's
what makes him so funny. Started out as a leading
man, you know, he is. What do you mean started
out ended as a leader? Oh, yeah. This is let's
be real. But but serious. You know what I mean?
We are. But he still got their hell or high water.
He did it. Well, OK, I've been thinking about
this particular movie, this particular director
and writer for a while. And I think you're not
going to. But I like. This weird idea, but boots
Riley who did sorry to bother you Okay, have
you seen sorry to bother you we talked about
that one with what you have to use your white
voice Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's this feels like
yeah, I would love to see him do a disaster He
yeah, I can see this this would be it would be
early in his career But like I think he could
take the tongue and cheek of it. He could take
this could be a real political like commentary
satire walls being on, on elitism. Yeah. Because
you could have that if this is in the nineties,
the Denzel family, there could be some light
racism. There could be a lot of shade. Yeah,
there, yeah, there needs to be, and I liked the
idea of Garrett headlands, like on the, on the
surface, like having to be this perfect person,
but You know, he's got a little bit of a dark
side and yeah, nobody's trying to let loose and
try to keep tries to keep everybody together.
Turns out like he just won like a some sports
championship and like feeling the pressure. Yeah,
I can see that. All right. So Boots Riley. That
that started to take such a fucking crazy turn.
I it's on my list. Recently, I've just, I've
gasped out loud at quite a few movies. They're
like, go! Brawl and Cell Block 99. I've heard
good things about that as well. I gasped out
loud in horror maybe, like a few times. I was
like, whoa! Like, wild. Have you seen Bone Tomahawk?
Yes. Well, it's same writer -director. Same level
of gore, violence. Yeah. Bone Tomahawk is fucking
vicious. So I even knew stuff was like, I was
aware kind of like peripherally, like what was
coming. And even that was not, I was not prepared
for that movie. That movie. I know it really
takes a turn. It's such a slow burn, but you
slow burn when the gore happens, you know, It's
so intense that I'm just like, I'm not ready.
Yeah. I mean, talk about a movie that goes zero
to a hundred at breakneck speeds. Yeah. Yeah.
It's the slowest hundred mile an hour movie you've
ever watched. And so much sticks with you. And
yeah. Yeah. If it's one of those movies that
you definitely like, it kind of gets seared into
your brain matter and just settles there. And
yeah, unfortunately or fortunately, depending
on your brain is with you forever. Yeah. Super
amazing. So kudos to the director. Kudos to everybody
that started in that Kurt Russell. I know you
were there was there as was his facial hair.
That beautiful, beautiful mustache. So I like
the idea that this place is really extreme. Yes.
Quite a top remote. Yes. You know what I mean?
Yes. Yes. Yes. You have to take a zeppelin to
get here. Sorry. I don't know. Yeah, I don't
know why. I love it. Some just ridiculous, absurd
mode of transportation. Yeah, it's just it's
out there like, no, you can't get a car here.
There's no other way up here. You have to take
a balloon into the mountains. Do we need to have
any subplot with somebody's cheating. Oh, no,
we don't have like Keith Stanfield's Beyonce.
Yeah, that was the one character we a white lady.
We need a white lady. White just needs to be
not be African. Oh, yes. This is a good point.
You know, I know we always like the easy fruits
to be like, make it a white label. Oh, does not
have Fina Aquafina. I like her. I think she's
cool. I'm not sure if I want Awkwafina. No opposition
to you, Awkwafina. I can see the row. I'm intrigued
by what you're saying. But now I'm thinking,
who plays Churi in the Black Panther movies?
I'm obsessed with her. Even if we were not going
for a biracial family, she would just be fun.
forget that. Yeah, I really, I like it feels
low fruit. It feels low fruit. Not to say we
couldn't make it. It's of the time, though. Exactly.
Not to say we couldn't make the same social and,
you know, racial commentaries through this family.
Leticia Wright is her name. I I'm bored. I'm
bored. She would be. It could be light. It could
be fun survival. Yeah. She is so damn charming.
She definitely gets to turn the charm up to eleven
in this. Yes. She's amazing. I like the idea
that there's some tension though in the relationship
or maybe they're meeting for the first time and
that's competitive or maybe they the kids screwed
dad out of a business deal. So there's some just
beef. There's just some beef between father and
the lawyer is there and there's something going
on like some thievery and they uncover some shit.
Xander Berkeley is doing some dirty. Okay. I
thought the lawyer would be there at the best
of Leslie Nielsen's ownership. I was thinking
like he's there. He's the owner. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I want to say Michael Caine, but yeah,
yeah, I get you. Leslie Nielsen is the owner.
I'm sad just because I want to keep saying it
that way now. Leslie Nielsen has the deadpan.
Maybe do we want to keep that or do we want to
have him get out of character a little bit like
he wasn't repossessed? Yeah, like he doesn't
necessarily need to be deadpan. He could play
this with some gravitas and some like Yeah, I
would like to see that. I saw him in a one man
play. This was in Chicago doing Clarence Darrow,
the lawyer, and it was un fucking believable.
It was something I bought a ticket to by myself
just so I could see Leslie Nielsen on stage.
He would kill it. But, you know, and he's one
of those people, though, I think who's probably
so effortlessly funny. So you almost like feel
like you're you're you want them to be funny
in the moment. But he was so captivating. And
I've seen a few one person shows in my life and
props to anybody who does that. It's on the intensity,
what it takes just again, not to say a dumb line,
but like just to memorize all that stuff, to
say it right. Once me as an audience member can
get over my nerves of them like flubbing a line.
Because I think if it happened, I'd have to just
like commit suicide in the audience right now.
You just got to you can't stop. That's the secret.
But yes, kudos to those who could do a one man
show. All right. I have I have a wild card. I
had to look it up. I had to use the Internet
device while you're. Yeah, absolutely. My my
wild card here for our billionaire owner of the
resort. Are you ready for this? I think Jim Varney.
Oh, my God. Yeah, always. Oh, yeah. For those
in the know, he was earnest that because he's
a Shakespearean trained like Julia. Like classic.
Can we please give him a song to sing? He's there
doing it like they call him up on stage for a
talent show. Yes, of course. I have one of his
records. He's the fact that he plays the lovable
fool. so convincingly, but it's like he could
then turn around and do King Lear like in the
next breath. And you're like, wait, what? Yeah.
It's like this dude is beloved for not the wrong
reasons, but perhaps the misinterpreted reasons.
Like he should have had more. He should have
been one of those stars who is like enshrined
for every role he ever did. What, um, what brought
you to that? To him thinking of him because have
you seen any of his films? Oh, yeah, I grew up
on earnest scares, too But that one was my shit.
Yeah that movie. Sorry for the the swear Have
I I may have fucking said this fucking piece
of country shit before oh, how dare you but I
was racist to the Irish. Yeah. I saw in the theater
earn a saves Christmas and it was standing room
only. Oh, yeah. It was like, and when he said
air brakes, it killed when he joins the military,
everybody dies. When he, when he goes to boot
camp, I saw that one as obviously I was a small
child. Like when his Sergeant tells him to eat
like the whole thing of candy, like he just eats
the whole thing. Plus the box. I remember reading
a class the next day and just laughing out loud
in the middle of class, just laughing again,
because it was funny. So I don't know. I feel
like he deserves. Well, Jim Varney should sing
the song. He should sing the name of the movie,
The Ninth Door. That should be the name of the
song. Oh, 100%. He gets a theme song. Jim Varney's
getting our theme song. Because we need to go
back to the theme song. We need theme songs.
intro outro. I don't care where you burn his
beautiful voice. We should get outro song from
Jim Varney. We also need a post credit scenes
of him on stage singing the song with the cast.
For sure. That needs to happen. Beautiful. At
the very end, everybody and on the various states
of death, Denzel's like all frozen, like burn
face off. We end on the happiest. No, for a sad
movie. We wait. You wait till after like the
main credits and then we get like you don't show
it until you get to like after like the deep
like your three, four minutes into the credits.
Yeah. And this just comes back and it's everybody
doing. I wonder how many movies and that there's
probably a search of that. I have post credit
scenes that you just don't know about because
I I would my goal as we do viewers in the credits.
Do we for sure? We got we I feel like I feel
like this bloopers. I feel like this is the blooper
for sure. This is this blooper. Do you remember
the movies? The Cannonball Run one and two with
Brent Reynolds and I have never seen them, but
like the story I honestly just got into. I I'm
just personally a fan. They may or may not be
great. That's not for me to judge, but they're
infamously known. I'll tell you. I think a couple.
I don't think they start in the post -credit
scene, but what they would do is they would show
particularly Burt Reynolds and Dom Delores cracking
up. And Dom Delores' laugh was infamous, like
he was just out of breath and it's just a squeal.
And Burt Reynolds, with his laugh, and it's infectious
to watch. Like you watch this movie and like
people would go to the theater, apparently, just
to see... Just to see that end. Which, and to
this day, they're hilarious. Because, and like,
side note, Burt Reynolds literally, like, snagged
on Deleuze in the face. Like, what are you doing?
Like, not, like, part of the scene? Like, really
hard. They're probably super drunk. I don't know,
but it's fucking delightful. Don't know if any
disaster movie has ever done and we end on a
blooper reel for a movie on a 3d Yeah, I feel
like but it's quite a tone shift. It'd be like
the idea of bloopers I really do in like Jim
Varney and Viggo Mortenson just blowing lines
together. Yeah Viggo singing the song with yeah,
I bet Viggo sings I'm betting he does Yeah, I'm
from all right. I'm saying so remember Viggo
has a horse to save Yeah, all right. So we have
a director We have some stars. We have some characters.
Trevor Jones to compose the music. Trevor Jones.
Cliffhanger. Last of the Mohicans. Dark City.
He gets the assignment. That's what he's best
known for. Trevor Jones, you understand the assignment
here. We want tension. Last of the Mohicans as
a soundtrack is one of the greatest of all time.
It is wild like when you break it down like could
you imagine movies that didn't have soundtracks
like how awkward movies would sound? Yeah, if
we get deep he did Sea of Love. He did Free Jack.
Did you ever see Free Jack? Free Jack? I have
not. No. Free Jack is a movie with Emilio Restavez
and Mick Jagger. Wait, wait, wait. And Sir Anthony
Hopkins. I'm sorry, what? Did it win any awards?
No, I don't think it did. It was a wild movie,
I'll tell you that. I'm sorry, Mick Jagger, Sir
Anthony Hopkins, and Emilia Clarke. I like the
idea, because Dark City. Have you seen that movie,
Dark City? No, I feel like I need to see it.
It's really one of the greatest sci -fi films
I've ever seen. Is this one going on the Ryan
List? Ryan List recommendations. Well, and I
would further recommend The Director's Cut, because...
It's better. It is better. And it's it's singularly
unique. I saw it in the theater and kind of like
pitch black. I knew like this is fucking special
and this is fucking cool. That's all I could
say. Dark City and Kiefer Sutherland is in it.
And Rufus Sewell, I believe that's how you pronounce
his name as a lead. I hadn't really seen him
in much. But William Hurt just depressed. And
it's this movie's fucked up. But it's like nothing
I've ever seen. It's one of those movies that
you can kind of draw a line to and be like, this
movie changed movies. Well, you know, probably
in a way that I don't think I'm articulate on
it enough, but like, I bet a hundred percent.
If you had more time to stew on it, you think
about it. Very stylized, you know, like, kind
of like The Matrix is one of those zeitgeist
movies. Well, yeah, and I think maybe it is talked
about. I just don't know. It will be as as more.
This is one of those movies that influenced the
movie that influenced everybody. And I know after
a time people have really, you know, Jennifer
Connelly's in it, she sings this like sultry
night song, like it's fucking crazily and unique
and fucking cool. Turns out it's cult classic
and we just don't realize. Yeah. But he did the
music for it and it's definitely, but he did
13 days. He did From Hell. I like him doing this.
Sounds like the right guy. And I'd love for him
to make it a little light, you know, a little
like of the time, like serious, have a good theme.
But, you know, Jim Varney is going to be doing
this thing. He's going to sing the song. You
know, make it fun and exciting. Death is online.
So we have 10 minutes. I just really want to
hear. I wonder what this Jim Varney song is going
to be now. Now I want to know. You know what?
Like I said, I've been I've been writing and
recording a lot of stuff that would be a switch
of Style and tone for me. Yeah, if you wrote
a song, but I'd like to maybe I'll get the old
acoustic and see All right. Here's something
that I know that we don't have. Are you ready
for this? We don't have a tagline. Yeah, I know
ten minutes left I know we bum rush a tagline.
Sorry to all bombs out there listening to us
Oh, I think we can I think we can improvise night
doors avalanche disaster movie in the mountains.
Yeah Any thoughts Tagline movie poster draw them
in Denzel the star who's in reach? What's in
reach? You know like I know that's kind of a
stretch, but like you're trying to get to this
door Knock knock yeah, that's the thing like
you know because there's there's a lot of like
Decision -making and do we have to figure out
who lives and dies no everybody die? I know in
fact Denzel, Angela Bassett lives. Do both the
kids live? Ooh, I would like to say yes. Okay.
Barely. Okay. So Garrett headland. He's got to
go. Yeah. He dies on a spirit. Leslie Nielsen
or Jim Varney goes. Yeah. Jim Varney, unfortunately
dies. The horse lives. Vigo lives. We don't do
it. Maybe video, but badly named. We don't explain
how he lives. He just kind of like survives rides
off on the horse. Sunset just rides off into
the sunsets or sunrise. He rides into the sunrise.
Okay. The last line he says to Alexander Berkeley's
corpse. You can have it. That's terrible. And
he got a laugh. But Well, OK, so the idea, a
lot of the taglines were pretty serious. They
were pretty, you know, can you breathe? Hold
your breath. You know, so the idea of this is
suffocating, right? The main death in an avalanche
is suffocation. Yeah. The main way of getting
out is digging a clawing, you know, your. you
know, the idea is you're trapped in one spot
for a bit unless, you know, you're trapped in
this part of this hotel, you know. So we've got
options for them to be trapped in various...
But being trapped in getting out of pressure.
That's, you know, another thing that's kind of
big, right? I mean, I'm just talking a spitball.
I'm feeling something like the word encased for
some reason. Oh, all right. Just something, you
know... Different angle something like an edge,
you know where you don't normally say. Yeah It's
a it's a the ninth door The ninth door it's it's
a tougher. Yeah name for this because that's
the mechanism of their of their destruction You
know, I feel like you should be like don't open.
Okay, don't open it or something like that Is
the easy one to go for? Yeah, cuz yeah, I can
easily see a movie like Oh, yeah. And that's
the thing. Don't open it. Don't open it. And
that's the thing that screws everything up. It's
a simple error that causes the avalanche. Don't
open. And I like that being a throwaway line
and because people are like, gosh, oh, shit,
that's what they did. Yeah. Don't open. Because
you think it's what's gonna save them like he's
going out onto the balcony to like smoke a cigarette
like Jim Varney's going out to smoke a cigar
and like It hit the ninth door they're supposed
to because in Apollo 13 Yeah, when it what I
just stirred the tanks. He told me to stir the
tanks I just want to say that like - He's so
angry and it's a simple thing and it sucks. Do
we have that moment where it hyper focuses into
like where the thing causes a poop and then you
know it all comes down? What I want is knowing
how like do you know how they prevent avalanches?
By creating them? So they shoot an artillery
shell at a mountain from like you know miles
away. Yeah that's an avalanche. And then they
like so It'd be really cool if, like, Jim Varney
being there as this billionaire person, like,
he's the one who tells them, like, just do it.
I don't care when you do it. Just do it. And,
like, they do it. And, like, it goes wrong. And
he inadvertently causes this disaster to happen.
So he's OK. Well, having having the guilty ad,
he's the big bad. He is our big bad. Unfortunately,
you are making Jim Varney the big bad against
type. I'm sorry. You haven't seen Ernest goes
to prison. It seemed bad, Ernest. Hey, no. A
lot of people find them sexy. I would love to
see him in his prime doing Shakespeare, Titus
Andronicus. Well, yeah, and he could be a really
sophisticated kick -ass bat. Could you imagine
him being Titus Andronicus in like a full on
Cleopatra, like, you know, epics, like just...
Does he have some weird kind of like sex fish?
Is that what you're saying? No, just dancing
around. Just the Titus Andronicus doesn't get
the love in this. And I feel like him playing
this inspired this blood -drenched Roman general
returning home would be wild to see. Yeah, that's
super cool. How much time we got left? Do we
do it? Do we? Yeah, we did it. Do we have everything
we required? Absolutely everything we hit it
all. We're about to hit our limit. There might
be a machine yelling at us at a moment. No, no,
I think we've done well. We have all the different
components that we need. You know, we could have
a celebrity cameo. What is Billy Zane played
himself? You talked about Billy Zane earlier.
I did. He dies in this movie. He's playing himself.
He's at this resort. Yeah, that'd be funny. That'd
be really funny. Oh my gosh, yeah, like a celebrity.
Yes, because that happens to a celebrity cameo
on these things. There's always somebody who,
yeah, there's always a celebrity cameo. Oh my
gosh, yeah. I mean, I know he's already a celebrity
cameo, but you brought him up, right? That's
awesome. All right, this is cool. I think we
have fulfilled our contract, and hopefully you're
listening. Enjoyed it and didn't get too frustrated
banging your heads all on the wall going Christopher
Walken should be in this but if you think he
should be in everything we do Email us and let
us know email us and let us know what you think
of our shenanigans Yeah, we will gladly take
the shenanigans to you. We'll make these movies.
Yes again, we're giving it to you For free for
now. But if somebody wants to pay us to make
it again at award season, just have us up there.
Not don't reference us, please. South Park, Trey
Parker. Don't say anything. Just have us there.
Right. Well, hey, you know, Logan, we did it
right. I'm glad that we did. And Hollywood should
get at us. Right. Reach out. I mean, reach out.
We're getting there. Reach out to someone.