Hello. This is Staff Officer of the United States
Marine Corps, Nimrod Y .U. Allen III. Active
service end date, January 2012. Inactive service
date, perpetual. If you're hearing this, it is
Sunday, March 29th, 2026. And today is my birthday.
20 years ago today, I had to... I served my country
in Iraq from January 2026, 2006 to February 2007
in an al -Anbar province under the command of
Regimental Combat Team 5 in Camp Fallujah, Iraq.
During that time, I was responsible for maintaining
secure comms for the entire installation. For
my service, I was awarded accommodation. And
a medal. I also received a few nice letters.
20 years ago today. I came up with an idea. What
if. What if we could do what we're doing here
in Iraq. Anywhere. Seamlessly. From a comms perspective.
Imagine being able to rapidly, instantaneously
set up comms, tear down comms at will, set up
satellite communication, intermodal communication,
international communication, intranational communication
across domains. The same way we're doing right
now in Iraq. Had that idea in 2006 while I was
doing generator maintenance after a catastrophe
happened. We touched down in Al -Anbar province
and me being a gung -ho corporal Marine Corps
martial arts instructor, ready to go and get
some. I sent an email out. To all of RCT5. Letting
them know, hey, my name is Corporal Allen. I'm
Marine Corps Martial Arts Instructor. I just
touched down. Once I get everything settled,
I will be hosting and leading Marine Corps Martial
Arts Program instructor courses and trainer courses.
I will keep you posted. Hoorah. Sin. In my ignorance,
I was not aware that RCT 5 included every person
on the entire installation. So the RCT 5 directory
that I sent my email to was the entire Regimental
Combat Team 5. Well, if you know anything about
the Marine Corps, I was on them yellow footprints
again, front and center. Getting chewed a new
one. Me and my ignorance, I didn't understand
what the problem was. I didn't know what the
problem was. Everything I did was above board.
The problem was that my commander didn't like
it. My commander believed That I had to go through
them first. Before I sent that email. Before
you go out there. You send emails to anybody.
You should be going through me first. Getting
approval. With all due respect sir. Fuck you.
This is what I was saying in my head of course.
Tacked. Customers and courtesies. Waited. Let
him say what he had to say. Get it off his chest.
Beat his chest a little bit. And I sat there.
I stood there essentially. Position of attention.
Hear me out. It's my birthday. Let me have this.
And I ask one fundamental thing, sir. Permission
to speak freely, sir. Go ahead. What did I do
that was wrong? Silence. You know what he tells
me? You will not be doing any. any Marine Corps
martial arts training on my AO. I said, aye,
sir. And I stood there until I was relieved.
He's like, you're free to go. You're released.
Bye. I leave out. And I do what any Marine in
my position would do. I got clear definition
on what his AO was. He was responsible. for comms
company or comms platoon forward. His L was limited
to a section, a subsection of the entire regimental
combat team five installation. Now, me being
a Marine, a gung -ho Marine, hard -charging Marine,
with that information in hand and following the
rules to the letter of the law, his official
command was, and I quote, You will not be doing
any Marine Corps training on my AL. All right,
sir. So I went out to every other AL and said,
hey, my name is Corporal Allen. You may have
seen my email. Hey, my name is Corporal Allen.
You may have seen my email. And I started introducing
myself to everybody on the installation. And
I start making deals. Look here. These are the
conditions. I cannot perform training in the
AO of this commander here. You, if you take command
of an AO, if you take command of an area of operations
and under your authority, You grant me permission
to conduct training in your AO, in your area
of operations. You provide the corpsmen, you
provide the troops, I'll provide the equipment,
and I'll provide the staff. I had a few commanders
say, you know what, that's not a bad deal. We
went out and we started hunting for parcels.
We started hunting for parcels. We found us a
nice little sandbox. In the sandbox, we built
a nice little sandbox. And we defined the bounds
of that AO. We did a perimeter check. Bop, bop,
bop, bop. Put a marine on each area of the perimeter.
Called that the tree line. Now we have our AO
defined. Me. Me serving. As a. Hear me out. Hear
me out. We're going to get there. We're going
to get there. We're going to get there. My memory
a little foggy. This was 20 years ago. So I may
paraphrase a little bit. I may paraphrase. I
may embellish a little bit. So. We set the AO.
And the commander. Says hey. As name, rank, service
number, I deem that this is my AO, and I am commanding
officer of this forward deployment installation.
Hear me out. Then, from there, he relinquished
command to me. He's like, boom, I'm in command
of this spot. This is me right here. Corporal
Island, print center. Boom, I sent her a march.
Bye. Corporal Allen, you are now acting commander
of this installation. Do you accept? Aye, sir.
Salute. Bye. Go ahead, take command. Bye. He
comes in, he comes in as my second because he's
no longer a commander and he's no longer a captain.
He is now a student. He is now a student of combat
arms NRAO. This is what we did. No bullshit.
I'm telling you this is what we did so now I
have a designated area of operations within designated
area of operations acting independently of any
other area of operations because the commander
of that area of operations designated itself
before they assigned me as acting commander of
that space Now, from there, we conducted training.
One of the rules was everyone is a safety officer.
Every one of you is a safety officer. That's
the first rule. Every last one of you in this
AO is a safety officer. If you see anything that
is unsafe, you halt training immediately. It
doesn't matter. How do you halt training? Zero!
That's how you halt training. If anyone hears
the yell, zero, you're immediately required to
yell, freeze, freeze, freeze. If you ain't capable
of yelling, freeze, freeze, freeze, medical attention
will come and assess the situation to ensure
you are fully functional. Do you understand?
Aye, sir. Now, they had to call me sir because
I was acting commander. I was acting commander.
of this Ford Deployed installation. Now, the
installation was held classified until today.
On my birthday, I'm going to tell you the name
of the classified, the declassified Bandini Knight
Raiders. I'm telling you, can't make this up.
I mean, I can make it up, but check the records.
The Bandini Night Raiders. This story is a story
that I invented through trial and error. Back
in 29 Palms, we would run our PFTs. We would
run our PFTs in 29 Palms. I shit you not, Lake
Bandini was a water reclamation facility. And
that was where the water was stored. We ran.
Our PFT was to run around the perimeter of the
lake. That was a mile and a half. And we run
back a mile and a half around the perimeter.
Best time? Me? About 21 minutes. So about a seven
minute mile. I keep at 220 pounds. I was running
a seven minute mile. Yes. Yes, I was. Easily.
Hawking down. And here's the beauty of it. I'm
going to digress a little bit. I'll get back
to the Knight Raiders in a minute, but I want
to go down the story road for a little bit. Whenever
we had a PFT, I was always the last person to
go across the line. Always. On every PFT that
I ran, I was the last person to go across the
line. And if any of you know how PFT is counted,
the clock does not start. until the last person
goes across the line. We would always put everyone
on the line together. Me, I would let everyone
go and I would wait anywhere between 30 seconds
to a minute and a half before I crossed the line.
There was no rule. In the PFT guidebook that
said how long it took for the last person to
go across the line had to be before the clock
started. The rule was simple. Once the last person
crosses the start line, the timer starts. So
what I did is I gave everybody a pass. You had
at least you had at least 30 second buffer up
to a minute and a half. And what I would do is
I would set that pace. I know I can run a seven
minute mile. So I set that pace and I ran my
seven minute mile. And if I caught you, you was
moving too slow. Let's go pick it up. Let's go
pick it up. Let's go pick it up. Let's go pick
it up. And I started hawking. I started hawking,
right? On the way down there, on the way down,
my first mile and a half, I ran it around like
a seven, I would say eight, eight and a half
minute mile. Right? On the way back, chicken
hawking. Straight sprints. I'm catching everybody.
You understand? I'm trying to be the first one
across the line. The last one out. The first
one back. That mile and a half back, I am booking.
I am booking. I mean I am booking it 29 pounds
heat running I get there they say there's no
way you got back here before all those people
the only way that could have happened is if you
swam across Lake Bandini and back I said sir
that's what I did I walked on water So yeah,
let me tell you how the story went. How'd you
get back here so fast, Marine? Sir? I ran across
the water, sir. Bullshit! You're telling me you're
a goddamn water walker, son? Didn't say anything.
Didn't say anything. But anyway, you know what?
You figure out which part of that is true. All
of it is real. Some of it may be a little bit
colorful. Let me get back to it. So we are in
Iraq, and I'm telling this story to my Marines
because now I'm the commander. And in my command,
I have a captain, a few lieutenants, a few sergeants,
some corporals, some lance corporals, some PFCs,
right? Now, under my AL, they're all classified
as student. They're student tan belt, student
gray belt, student green belt, student brown
belt. I had Lance Corps and PFCs that were green
belts. I had captains and majors that were tan
belts. You know how the chain of command works
in the Marine Corps? Hierarchy. The tan belts
in my AO had to report to the green belts for
safety infractions. And the green belts were
required by lawful order to administer appropriate
correction. for any infraction to include removal
from the AO and stripping of their title as the
tan belt, gray belt, green belt, whatever it
was their belt classification was under my authority.
Now, this was all symbolic in nature to help
them understand how combat arms works. It was
to give them an understanding of the etiquette
of how combat arms works. It's not about rank.
It's not about status. It's about discipline,
duty, and resilience. As a United States Marine
Corps staff officer, I earned my title. I earned
it. 20 years ago, I celebrated my birthday in
Iraq. You know what I did on my birthday in Iraq?
I acquired an old Polaroid camera. I had Marines
that didn't know what the hell a Polaroid was.
I acquired an old Polaroid camera and I acquired
old Polaroid film and I ordered my Marines. We're
going to do a round robin. You're going to get
one pack of film and we're going to take this
camera and I'm going to hand it off. Bam. You're
going to take photos with that Polaroid camera.
When you're done with the photos, you're going
to hand those photos off. You're going to put
your name on the photos, all the photos you took.
You're going to hand off the camera and your
photos to a Marine of your choosing. And we're
going to do that to all of the photos you're
taking. They took photos of whatever they wanted.
Now I'm going to tell you this right here. Me
being an individual that keeps meticulous records,
I still have every photo taken by my Marines.
Plus their names. I got forward deployed to help
with cryptographic comms. I had to go deliver
comms to a forward operation base and do an assessment.
of their generators they couldn't figure out
you know what type what type of uh why they kept
i couldn't understand why they kept needing so
many generators so it doesn't make sense based
on based on based on what you got going on you
shouldn't need that much why do you have so many
generators i go do an assessment check the site
out and what i'm seeing is that they got comms
running on on one generator on the small they
got comms running on the small generator And
they got the entertainment and they pokey bait
running on the big generator. I was like, what
the fuck is going on here? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. I was like, no, no, no. We are in Iraq,
player. No. Comms is priority. Comms are priority.
You put comms. You put comms as a priority. You
have this big generator to keep comms up. Not
to keep comfort up. You up here living the high
life. No, that's not happening. So we redo the
power management plan. And I realized, I'm like,
wait a minute, that makes sense. This explains
why the generators keep going down so fast. Because
they kept putting, they kept using generators
at 25 or less percent efficiency. I was like,
bro, you don't need a bigger generator to run
all you got. You can run a house off of 10 kilowatts.
What the fuck, you need a 50 kilowatt generator
to run a 10 kilowatt? I said, but three of you
here. So I knocked them down to two, three kilowatt
generators. They had two, three kilowatt generators
for themselves, and then they had two, three
kilowatt generators for comms. And what that
did is it kept comms up. Then I told them, we're
going to send you fuel drums. We're going to
get you fuel drums, and we're going to connect
the fuel drum to the generator via the siphon.
That way, the generator can run nonstop for two
weeks. It's a three kilowatt generator. Run for
two weeks. If you got a drum, three kilowatt
generator, plug and play, you good. You can run
that mug. And then you got a spare. For generator
maintenance, you swap it out, bing, bing, bop.
Right? You swap it out, boom, you send the old
one back. I do the maintenance. And you just,
you up and going. So now, generator lifespan
has increased 20 -fold. Generators just keep
running. They just run them. Now, before I went
on leave in November, I had a comprehensive plan
and strategy laid out. Lance Cooper Barth, B
-A -R -T -H. I did a handover to him. I said,
hey, This is the base generator plan. This is
all the AOs. This is all the areas. This is everything.
Where people are located, their power usage,
their comms, everything. List it out. It was
like eight pages. Here is your turnover binder.
I will only be gone for a week. Shouldn't be
that bad. I was like, no, check that. I'll be
gone for two weeks. Plus travel, two and a half
weeks. Let's say three weeks total. So, I go
home November. Come back, it's December. I leave
out in January. Just let that man keep that job.
I was just malingering at that point. I was just
kind of hanging out. I didn't have a job. I was
just training and relaxing. I was just, you know,
checking on some stuff. Going to the regular
old Regular old, regular old, checking in. Yeah,
I'm here. Another cog in the machine. However,
the reason I bring that story up is that was
20 years ago. And I'm seeing today, this year,
I'm going around seeing how we're setting up
comms. And I'm looking at all the inefficiencies.
on how we're setting up comms. I was just looking
at it and I couldn't believe how inefficient
we are. It's just wasteful. We're drawing more
power than we need to run systems that don't
even need to operate for as long as they do.
The redundancies... So here's the thing. When
building a system, Any system. You save the rounding
at the very end. The last thing you do when designing
a system is the rounding. Because that rounding
error compounds on every subsequent iteration
of the system. So every time you expand out or
branch out or you collapse in and you round at
each stage, that rounding error multiplies by
an exponential factor. And that's where the packet
loss comes in. So for me, when I set up my system,
we round at the end. The goal is 80 % is 100%.
That was the rule of thumb. 80 % is 100%. I need
you to be capable of at any point in time to
hit an 80 % peak number. If you're rated at 50K,
you need to be able at any moment to hit. Hit
a 40K. Power consumption. You're rated at 50.
At any point, you should be able to operate at
40. You're expected to operate at 20 % all the
time. Your floor is 20%. You should be operating
at 20%. Boom. Anything over 20 % is a premium.
You got to justify it. You got to get approval.
You got to go through secondary approval. Now,
It's my birthday, so give me some grace. I was
forward appointed to this one site. And we were
training the local nationals on customs securities,
Marine Corps etiquette, Marine Corps martial
arts, all that type of stuff. And I was rooming
with somebody, I was bunking with somebody, a
national, and we started talking. And I started
understanding Their language. However, I didn't
understand the phonetics of their language. I
understood the tone of their speech pattern.
I understood the tone of their speech pattern,
their rhythm, their cadence, their inflections.
They didn't even have to say words. At a point,
we had our own grunting language. We essentially
created our own cypher text where it started
with just simple grunts. And we combined that
with hand and arm signals. And the hand and arm
signals combined with that grunting text was
our own form of Morse code. Because Morse code
is a... It's a tonal language. However, it doesn't
measure inflection. So imagine a tonal language.
With inflection and visual cues. Imagine how
many times you can change the dialect. How many
different dialects you can create from those
three points of reference. That's called triangulation.
We were able to triangulate the problem because
in the Marine Corps, mission accomplishment.
In my Corps, mission accomplishment. One shot,
one kill. One mind, any weapon. Customs and courtesies.
Escalation of force. 13 general orders. Don't
argue with me. There are 13 general orders. For
all you new Marines out there, if you don't know,
there's 13. If you don't know all 13 verbatim,
ask somebody. I'm not going to tell you. That's
classified information. Anyway, it's my birthday.
And I want to tell you the story of my birthday
in Iraq. I was in Iraq. And this national final
day was my birthday. They didn't have anything
to give me a value. So they gave me their diary.
They gave me their diary for a birthday present.
They were like, here you go. They slipped it
underneath my pillow and said, hey, happy birthday.
This is for you. And I was like, thank you. I
appreciate that. What is this? And he told me
it was his diary. It was his personal log. You
know, it was his personal accounts of what was
going on. And I was like, thank you. I will cherish
this forever. Had a nice pink cover on it. The
back page was missing. The back part of the binder
was missing. It looked like he had it for like
years. And it was just well preserved. I looked
in there and it had writing in there that I didn't
understand. Some sort of Cyrillic language. Couldn't
understand it. Almost looked like cursive. But
I never questioned it because it wasn't mine
to read. It was a gift from a friend. It didn't
have any value to it. It didn't cost anything.
The binder, the book was maybe like two bucks
over there. In fiat currency. It really wasn't
nothing. It was worth pennies. Cash value. If
I was to cash it out. Anything less than $10
,000. You didn't have to report it. So I didn't
have to report it. I didn't have to report it.
I did. I acknowledged it to him. I got a diary.
I got this. I got some fiat currency. How much
fiat currency you got? I got about $40 ,000 in
fiat. It was like $40 ,000 in fiat. Now, you
don't have to record that. Why not? Because U
.S. dollars, we're going on gold here. Or oil.
Oil is the base rate of exchange here. Oh, oil
is the base rate of exchange. What's oil? What's
oil prices, right? What's one U .S. dollar of
oil or whatever? Whatever the exchange rate was.
So they would take the price of oil, exchange
it to precious metals. Because we have minted
coins as a base of exchange. And then they took
that minted coin and then they exchanged that
for fiat. And the fiat price did not match the
lowest coin price. The lowest coin price that
we had was silver. We had silver. At that time,
we had silver, platinum. I think platinum was
there. Not really, not officially, but it was
kind of there. You kind of speculate. But there
was silver, gold. And those were the two staples
that we had as a market. that we can have as
an exchange. And that localized exchange allowed
us to establish the fiat price. And once we were
able to establish the fiat price, we could determine
how much a dollar was worth. That's just what
it was. So, using that logic, I was like, oh,
so you're telling me this $40 ,000 in fiat cash
is only like what? $400? That. It was only 400
in silver exchange. Silver, I think, was like
80 to 1 or 100 to 1 at that time. So for every
one silver minted dollar, you can get $100 in
fiat. And here's what was real crazy. This is
what was real crazy. I was like, you're telling
me this $100 bill is equivalent to that one silver
coin? It was like, yeah. I was like, oh, well,
shit. I got 40 ,000 of these. Well, I got...
400 of these $1 bills. These $1 bills. The $100
note was essentially a $1 bill. But it was fractionalized
into 100 fragments. In my mind, that's what I
saw. And I was like, bro, we can apply that to
comms. So you know what I did? I started charging
people phone calls. I got access to an Iridium
phone. And I started charging people fractionalized
phone calls. I became my own... Became my own
phone carrier. Yeah. Had a satellite phone carrier
and everything. Subscription plan, little cards
and everything else. Boom. I had the phone. They
had to get the cards. So I was walking around
with an Iridium phone so I could call home at
any time. I never used it for that purpose, but
I could call home at any time I knew I could.
Peace of mind. Bye. It's just there. If they
need to be, they can call me. Yeah, what you
need? Okay, boom. Yeah, boom. So I was able to
check in completely remote. And I would call
different calls. I would make calls through our
network to make sure the comms were good. This
is how I would test. I would just make calls
to different parts of it, to different TIC -42
vans. Right? And then I had a wireline run from
one of the TIC -42 vans that I repaired all the
way out to where we kept the generators where
I worked at. And I was going to build me a little
oasis out there. I went and got the wood. Got
the building materials. I'm building a shed,
a little shack. Going to build a little patio.
This is going to be my little forward operation,
basically. You know, where I'm just going to
do my job, hang out, do my thing. I come and
I go check on my guys. And they living like,
you know, they living in squalor. They not doing,
they not living good. So what I did is I said,
you know what? I'm going to build you guys. Instead
of building my little oasis, I want to build
a shed here. We're going to take all this radio
equipment out that we're not using and we're
going to store it in the shed. And then in that
old closet, we're going to make a little window,
a little hatch, and we're going to put some cots
in there, make some bunk beds, and y 'all can
sleep in here on rotations. So when you have
a 24 -hour shift, you can sleep in here with
bunk beds and stuff. Built it, built the patio,
built it all up, built the shed, built it all
up. They migrated everything over, put a lock
on it. Boom, bada bing, we were done. Of course
I had help. I'm not doing it all by myself. We're
a team. We're one unit. So after that was built,
I went back on doing my stuff. While I was there,
I was also training Marines, Marine Corps martial
arts. While I was also doing my job as a generating
mechanic. What I was also doing my job as a smart
T -tech mission. I just kept busy. That's the
only thing I could do is keep busy. So for a
year, I just kept busy. I just kept finding stuff
to do because I didn't want to go to sleep. I
didn't feel like having the night terrors. I
didn't want to face that. So I would just get
up and I would do stuff and I had a routine.
And I was good. But when I came back, When I
came back, so I left, one of my vacation came
back, they grounded me. They grounded me. And
my routine became chow hall, check in, sit and
wait. Chow hall, check in, sit and wait. Chow
hall, check in, sit and wait. So for about a
month and a half, two months until we got up
out of there, my routine was shot. I couldn't
train anymore. Wasn't getting forward deployed.
Didn't have free access to the base like I had.
I was garrisoned. I gained a lot of weight then.
Weight shot up. Weight shot up. I think I gained
maybe like 30 pounds. I was walking around looking
like a fever blister. I was looking like a whole
fever blister. Couldn't fit my clothes anymore.
Was up two sizes in my pants. It was a horrible
feeling. So I went through a little mild depression
while I was there. But I had to maintain my composure
and stuff. A little mild depression. And then
I came back. And they made me the motor transportation
chief because of my experience with generators.
I mean, a generator ain't nothing but an engine.
There's an engine in a vehicle. It's doing something
different. It's using for propulsion instead
of electrical discharge. I was like, in my brain,
I'm like, you know what would be cool? What if
we could just hook up, instead of propulsion,
we just use the generator, hook it up to a battery,
and then use the battery, connect the battery
to some actuator motors. You know what I'm saying?
Little actuator motors. And we use that for propulsion.
That shit would be dope. You know what I'm saying?
And I was like, you know, I wrote it down in
my little log book and stuff and took my notes
and stuff and blah, blah, blah. And just locked
it away. 20 years later, I see motherfuckers
making testes. I'm like, ain't this about a bitch?
Ain't this about a bitch? But it ain't my job.
That's not something I can capitalize on because
I did it while I was in combat. It was classified
information that had a secret clearance, interim
top secret. And that information, in my mind,
was classified. Nothing about that was declassified.
I was decommissioned. You know, I was never decommissioned.
Me, I was never decommissioned. As a Marine staff
officer, I was never decommissioned. I'm a non
-decommissioned officer. That means I'm always
active. I'm in an always active state. So, this
is my story. I'm sticking to it. I know there's
other of you that may want to disagree. Some
of you may want to agree. Either way, fuck you.
It's my birthday and I want to vent a little
bit. I want to share my story of what it was
like to be in Iraq 20 years ago today. There
was a... So yeah, while I was in Iraq and I was
forward deployed, you know, I had wag bags. There
was no place to take a shit over there by the
generators. There was no place to take a shit.
So I had a little shovel. You know what I'm saying?
And I had to dig me a little shithole. Take a
shit and piss. That's that little spot. Dig a
hole deep enough where I could just dump in shit.
Piss can piss anywhere. Whip it out. Piss anywhere.
That shit burn off. It's okay. But shit, different
story. So at that time, I didn't think nothing
of it. I didn't take shit. Just go shit in the
hole. Cover it up. It reminded me of Lord of
the Flies. It reminded me of Lord of the Flies.
I felt like the sole survivor of Lord of the
Flies at that point. Yeah. I didn't think about
it, though. It wasn't that big of a deal to me.
That was normal. I thought everybody was living
like that. That's what I thought. When you get
forward deployed, that's what you're going to
have to do. You're going to have to shit in the
bag. That's what you got to do. You just suck
it up, keep it moving. You shit in the bag, you
bury the bag, keep it moving. That was it. So,
yeah. Yeah, we had some parties. You know, we
partied hard, too. We had some wild times and
stuff. We did some, you know, some... Some...
What happens in Iraq stays in Iraq type of stuff.
And that's okay. But it was all about managing
your arousal state. At least for me it was. Because,
you know, a histamine outbreak, a stress -induced
incident, you know, it's hard to recover from.
And, yeah. I had to maintain my command presence
at all times. Even in my sleep, especially in
my sleep, especially in my sleep, because that's
when that's when your toes came. The toll came.
The bill came due when it was time to take a
rest. Imagine being in a combat environment and
you got to sleep. There's nobody to watch your
six. You just got to trust that wherever you
are is wherever you're supposed to be. So for
that entire year. Forward deploy, sleeping outside
under the stars, stuff like that. Maybe sometimes
I sleep in my little Kwanzaa huddle, whatever
the hell it was. But just having to accept the
fact that if a bomb landed here, I wouldn't remember
it tomorrow. If a bomb landed on me today, I
would not remember it tomorrow. And I just made
peace with that every day. Every day I had to
make peace with that. Before I went to sleep.
If someone was to, you know, If the base got
raided and boom, bop, bing, bada, bing, and it
happened, and it happened, you know, the unfortunate
happened today. I wouldn't remember it tomorrow.
Just like the Marine Sim says. What does the
Marine Sim say? Come on. When you finally reach
the pearly gates, you know what I'm talking about?
You know, you get to gaze upon heaven's scenes.
Come on now. I know you know. Don't make me sing
the whole thing to you now. From the halls of
Montezuma, shores of Tripoli. You know what I'm
talking about. Every climbing place. Yeah. Heaven's
gates was guarded by who? United States Marines.
So in my mind, my service was secure. Because
I got a job. If for some reason, if for some
reason God called me early and said, hey, I need
you to keep watch up here. All right, cool. I'm
going. I'm going to check in. That was my mindset.
That's what I had to make peace with every day
for a year in Iraq. That if God called on me
and said, hey, I need you to watch the gates.
I'm showing up. I'm showing up. Full gear. Combat
ready. Position of attention. First general order.
Walk my post in the military. That's the second
general order. Watch yourself. That's the second
general order. Correct yourself, Marine. Alright,
sir. So this is the conversation I would have
with myself. In my head. Practicing. 30 inch
steps. Boom. Yep. 60 steps per minute. So I'm
doing 30 inch steps and I get 60 steps per minute.
How many steps is that? That's 1800 steps. Okay.
How many inches is that? How many inches is that?
1800 steps. How many inches is that? It's 18
,000 inches. It's 18 ,000 inches. Do the math.
Make sure it's right. This is what I'm doing.
Okay, it's 18 ,000 inches. How many feet is that?
Well, shit. 12 ,000 inches. 12 ,000 inches. What's
that? What's that? 1 ,000 feet? Plus we got another
500 feet, so that's 1 ,500 feet. So, 18 ,000
inches is 1 ,500 feet. 1 ,500 feet is about a
quarter mile. I said, that math don't add up.
You're telling me I'm walking a quarter mile
in a minute? That ain't possible. Let me do the
math again. And this is what I would do over
and over. 30 inch steps. 60 steps a minute. Right?
And I'd do the math over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again. Without the aid
of reference, of course. Without the aid of reference,
of course. And I would just do this over and
over to keep my mind busy. To keep my mind busy.
Because I didn't have shit to do. I'm out here
in Iraq. All I had was my job. Playing with fucking
generators. Understanding oil pressures. Understanding
differentials. Understanding power management.
I was out here grounding generators. Creating
the shorts just to see where a fault would be.
So I had two test generators. And I would run
a 3K generator with a 10. It was a 3K generator,
5K generator. And it was like a big, it was the
big boys. It was like, it was like three, 10
and 50 is what I want to say. But I could be
off of those numbers. I want to say it was a
50 kilowatt generator. It was big. It was a big
boy. Had his own slab and everything. And I like,
I like running those against each other. Having
a fault tolerance race. Creating arcs and shit
and doing, seeing if I could turn, if I could
turn glass and sand into glass using arcs. So
I would, I would grind. I'll put a grounding
stake in, connect it to the live part of the
motherfucking generator, run the generator, turn
it on. Turn the power on. Turn it off. Big ass
crack. I was doing all types of crazy stuff.
I was trying all types of stuff just to see how
the generator would respond. How it would react
to different stress factors. And then I go and
I take it all, take it apart and look at it.
And go back in and do it again. This is my story.
I'm sticking to it. This is my story. I'm sticking
to it. It's my birthday. This is how I want to
tell this story. So, yeah. That's why every year
on my birthday, I have to go away. I have to
disappear. Because in Iraq. The week of my birthday
was the most loneliest week of my entire life.
I couldn't call home. I couldn't feel joy. It
was hard not to feel sadness. How do you miss
your wife, your kids, your girlfriend, your mistress?
Your brothers, your cousins, your aunts, your
uncles, your mom and your daddy. How do you miss
all of them? Without losing focus. Without losing
your command presence. Without being able to
get up and say, you know what, it's time to move.
Without accepting that it's not their turn. It's
not their turn to occupy my space. It's not their
turn to occupy this mental space. So I had to
phase them out. I had to phase them out. And
I remember boot camp. Senior drill instructor,
Staff Sergeant Price. And our first whiskey locker
conversation. That man, me and that man had a
fight. At least in my brain. In my brain, me
and him had a fight in the whiskey locker. How
true it is, I can't tell. Boot camp is a different
animal. But I know in my brain, we got in that
whiskey locker and we went at it. And he whooped
my ass. But I didn't stop fighting. We were fighting.
In my brain, we fighting. Ha, ha, ha. Like Riley.
Like Riley and, man, and Huey. Like Huey and
Riley. Yeah, not Dewey and Louie. No, not Dewey
and Louie. Huey and Riley. Right? Yeah, man.
Yeah, man. Just imagine that, bro. Just imagine
that, man. I just want you to imagine that, man.
I've never told anybody these stories, man. I've
held on to my inner monologue forever. you are
not at liberty to understand what I went through.
Because the only way you could understand is
if you experienced it. And the only person that
was there to experience with me was me. But guess
what? Today is my birthday. And I got a gift
for all of you. I created a story so unbelievable
that you can't help but believe it. It's so unbelievable
that you can't help but believe it. Because the
only way for you to say something that's unbelievable,
you first have to consider the fact that it's
even possible to be even done. It has to be plausible
before you rule it out. It has to be plausible.
Before you can rule it out, it has to be plausible.
Which means somebody has to have done it. In
order for you to rule something out, Someone
had to have done it. So what I've done over the
last 40 years is I wrote down my story. And I
started collecting artifacts of my story. And
I'm finally ready to share a part of my story
with you all. My name is Staff Officer Nimrod
Allen III, 2012 candidate for United States Senate
in the great state of Wisconsin, owner of Dexter
Monroe LLC, independent candidate for United
States Senate, circa 2012, currently a student
at Milwaukee School of Engineering, studying
machine learning. As a master's degree candidate.
And a former employee of the United Parcel Service.
Formerly. Formerly. Formerly known as UPS. I'll
be filing formal charges against UPS on May 8th.
At 11 a .m. 2026. For discrimination. Based on
religion or creed. Gross negligence and misconduct
by management. Misappropriation of funds and
fraud. If you would like to hear or learn more
about my claims, feel free to reach out to me.
You can send an email to my fiduciary admin at
Dexter Monroe dot com. Show your support, whether
it's dissenting support or affirmation support.
You reaching out to me in any capacity is a sign
of support. Because guess what? No offense. We
can always change the fucking channel. And that's
what I would have to tell my Marines and comms
and comms. It's not our job to take those call
for fire missions personally. It's not our job
to take those call for fire missions personally.
You hear a call for fire mission. This is stressful.
You wish you could be out there in a fight. You
wish you could go out there and help. But your
job is here. You're not even supposed to be listening
to that damn channel anyway. Change the fucking
channel, Marie. Change the channel. All right,
sir. Change the fucking channel. Your job is
to manage comms, not monitor them. Your job is
not to monitor comms. My job is to manage them.
I don't get to control what goes across these
comms. I only get to make sure that comms can
be transmitted and received. Because if I start
controlling comms, I start killing lives. So
when that plane crashed on November 4th, it broke
me. It broke every part of composure that I could
possibly have. And the commists, Most respectful
manner I can muster. I reached out to my boss
at UPS, Sharath Patel, and said, hey, I need
a couple of days to get my family in order. They
demanded that I go and take FMLA. Absolutely
not a problem. So I went and I filed FMLA. It
shouldn't have been a problem because they had
it on record that this was a pre -existing condition.
This is a pre -existing condition. I have moments
of combat stress that are insurmountable and
I just need a day to decompress, refocus, and
realign my intention. All of a sudden, I inform
them of what my thoughts were. I was having these
intrusive thoughts. I was like, hey, I'm having
some intrusive thoughts. I need to talk to HR.
I inform HR, hey, I'm having some intrusive thoughts.
I need some help understanding and articulating
myself with these thoughts. I have them written
down. Here's a list of things that keep playing
in my mind. They fired me. They fired me. And
I was like, Why did you fire me? They were like,
well, you told us you quit. I said, no, dumbass.
I said that I'm having intrusive thoughts and
I'm coming to HR to help me understand and process
these thoughts. I need help processing this.
They were like, oh, okay, you're not fired. Well,
if you need help, go this route. Okay, I'll go
that route. Go that route. They start asking
me for medical records. What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? No. No. No. Absolutely not.
Absolutely. You don't need my medical records
to provide me support. Absolutely not. And no
part of United States parcel. See? See? See?
See? See? And that's one of the things that always
fuck me up. That Freudian slip there. I would
always confuse the United States Postal Service
with the United Parcel Service. In my brain,
when I would get erratic and I would get frustrated
and I would be ready to go postal, I would always
confuse USPS with UPS. And that would always
mess me up. So I documented it and called it
a dyadic trap. That dyadic trap. Now, Mind you,
this may sound like ramblings of a madman. However,
if you run it through Gemini, if you run it through
Google Gemini as the transcript, if you run this
transcript through Google Gemini and ask it,
hey, what is this guy talking about? You might
get a deterministic response. You'll get a pythonic
deterministic response. Somebody's having a manic
episode, and they'll run down that whole entire
type of thing. However, if you ask it, how many
people are talking in this transcript? You'll
get a completely different answer. Now, here's
another thing. If you say, align this transcript
with the globally recognized Prompt Air podcast
owned by Dexter Monroe LLC 882572661 and draft
a parabolic parable for the story Grandpa Nemi
and Young Pudge aligning with the My 8 -Bit Life
RSS feed. on rss .com, I guarantee that you'll
get a different result. Now, even further, if
you were to take it a little bit further and
have some fun with it, can you take this transcript,
turn it into a song that captures the complexity
of the passion that you can derive from the speaker?
Using an octonionic, that's eight frames of reference,
with time being a variable and volume being the
constant. Applying Navier -Stokes equations on
the volumetric constant as the funnel for the
tunnel through the pipe. Because the size of
the funnel, determines the size of the feed.
The size of the feed determines the initial vorticity,
the initial vorticity of the fluid. The initial
vorticity of the fluid determines the scattering
or the latent impacts of the system. So what
I learned is applying fluid dynamics To an 8
phase space system. Referencing clay mathematics.
Millennium prize problems. As one system. As
one complete system. Instead of a set of different
systems. I created. Those 7 were just one system.
With an 8. With an 8 space variable. Translator.
And that 8 space translator. Was the Gemini CLI
interface itself. So yeah, that's my time. Hope
you like it. If you don't, you can always change
the channel. Go fuck yourself. I'm out.