WEBVTT

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Welcome back to WB in 404 a .m. We do apologize

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for dropping the broadcasts for a few days Well,

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you see hmm see there were these mutant rats

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they were giant and had like multiple tails and

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they came by one night and they started chewing

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on the outside of our broadcast bunker wall,

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which made a huge hole and exposed our wiring

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and there were some members of the wire nut clan

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that were passing by they saw the hole they saw

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the shiny little wires so they decided to help

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themselves to it so because of that we of course

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we couldn't do any broadcasting because there

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was nothing to connect the electricity from our

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generators so um we weren't able to get in touch

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with our liaison with the happy fallout media

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corporation and Just like in the pre -collapse

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days, obviously we couldn't also couldn't get

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in touch with HR. So I sent Jace and Rusty Buckner.

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He's our like maintenance resident handyman type

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He's actually gonna have a show but that'll be

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coming in a couple weeks because he's extremely

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busy Trying to keep everything together. But

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anyway, I sent them out to scavenge for wires

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and you know scrap metal to see if we could fix

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it ourselves. So while they were out and they

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were walking toward one of the sections that

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has this big heaps of scrap, Jace decided to

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pick up a candy bar off the side of the road.

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He didn't realize that they were that close to

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where the acolytes of the great vending machine

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and the rust rats are still, you know, waging

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their little war. So when they apparently somebody

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saw him pick up the candy bar. Came flying a

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flat sand can of soda hit him upside the head

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knocked him out rusty had to pull him to safety

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after he recovered they went and got the where

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you actually were able to find the wires and

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some metal to patch the the bunker and then once

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they got back Jace lay down in the corner to

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recover and Rusty fixes the hole so we're live

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again yay Yeah, yay My head still hurts. Do you

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have anything for it? No, Jace. I don't Just

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try to lay down. It's not like I can run down

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to the drugstore and get you some aspirin or

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something You know, just remember if you see

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candy bars lying down the road, especially right

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now don't pick them up Okay Anyway on to the

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news As Jace found out, tensions have escalated

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between the acolytes of the Great Vending Machine

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and the Rust Rats. The snack crisis has entered

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its second week, and the ongoing conflict has

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shown no sign of resolution. Skirmishes continue

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to erupt across vending machine heavy territories.

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Reports indicate that the acolytes have doubled

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their defenses, reinforcing vending machines

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with makeshift barricades. warning signs and

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an aggressive sermon about the importance of

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proper coin rituals. Now, the Rust Rats regrouped

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overnight, attempting a stealth mission to secure

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what they claim was just one damn bag of chips

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before their morale completely crumbled. The

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Acolytes responded fiercely, deploying their

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elite force, the Guardians of the Glow, to stand

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vigilant near sacred snack dispensers. The intense

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standoff occurred at a partially functioning

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machine where both factions hurled expired pastries

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and candy bars and mocking insults about each

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other's lack of faith and automated nourishment.

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Now the restaurant's leader, Scrapjaw, said,

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we're just trying to survive out here. And if

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that means fighting for a 17 -year -old protein

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bar, so be it. The vending machines don't care

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about anyone. They're just machines. Now, High

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Priest Lacington of the hackalites just declared

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blasphemy. So the great machine provides snacks

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are good snacks are eternal like they always

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say If they refuse the honor the sacred transaction

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and they shall starve in shame now the casualty

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count reports indicate multiple snack related

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injuries including minor bruising from stale

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wafers and One unlucky soul rendered unconscious

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by an airborne can't hand of flat soda gee I

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wonder who that was I'm never living this stay

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on am I? No, you're not anyway Back to relations

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are deteriorating rapidly Diplomacy attempts

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involving an offering of half metal chocolate

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were immediately rejected So our advice is to

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avoid these vending machine heavy territories

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chase Unless prepared to align with a faction

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barter with highly valuable snack goods or risk

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getting your head caved in by a can of old soda.

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We remain on high alert. As tensions rise, so

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does the likelihood of full -scale snack warfare.

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Stay tuned. Next up is our Wasteland Market Watch.

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In today's survival economy, canned goods remain

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the backbone of the trade. Recent events have

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sent the market into a frenzy, shifting the value

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of key commodities overnight. Canned baked beans

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surged to an all -time high. Experts report on

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unprecedented demand spike driven by their long

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shelf life, making them ideal for bunker stockpiling.

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Faction leaders are hoarding supplies and thus

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creating an artificial scarcity and driving up

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the prices. A rumored bean -backed currency proposal

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has sparked speculation in underground trade

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circles. Now kidney beans have dipped slightly.

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While they're still valuable, their trade volume

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has dropped because As customers say Why have

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kidney beans when I can have baked beans? And

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there are also some questions about the quality

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and recent stockpiles And the faction preferences

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are shifting to higher calorie goods Now something

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to watch because we're not sure exactly what

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it's going to do to the to market There was a

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pre -collapse warehouse that was filled with

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canned tuna now this could be good if The 15

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year old tuna is still okay to eat But this is

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something that we're still trying to determine

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I mean I'm sure somebody out there is gonna eat

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it and then we'll all know because we'll learn

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from you know, either their mistake or their

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discovery but Because there's a supply flood

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that's potentially it could have crash everything

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now There have been attempts to rebrand the tuna

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as a luxury good and we're not sure how that's

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gonna work out Because like I said people don't

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know if we can actually eat them But we do have

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a lovely debate coming up on wasteland symposium

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about expired canned goods whether or not we

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should eat them and which types Would be the

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best to eat and I think the tuna will be part

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of it I get the wonderful honor of hosting that

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and we will have two So -called experts so you

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can join us later on Anyway, um now Going to

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scrap metal there is of course an increased demand

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due to ongoing conflict and bunker fortifications

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and giant mutant rats eating the outside walls

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and such scrap metal has now become a prime trading

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commodity especially among faction engineers

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and survivalists and reinforcing their shelters

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weaponsmiths converting scrap metal into crude

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weapons for bartering and then market analysts

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if you can call them that are forecasting long

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-term stability in the scrap economy okay now

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just remember baked beans are now the survival

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standard Kidney beans are hanging on but they

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are losing ground. We still are debating of the

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tuna crisis and scrap remains a safe solid trade

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investment. Now coming up is our survival fashion

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report and since I could care less about fashion

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I'm going to turn this over to our lovely Nova

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Thorne and her Overly perky happy self, Nova.

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It's my turn to shine. Before I tell you exactly

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what's in and what's not, I just remind everyone

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that tomorrow is going to be my first episode

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of Doom and Bloom, where I teach you how to remain

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mindful and serene, even in the Wasteland. Now,

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let's discuss what's hot among Wasteland elites.

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and what's considered a fashion crime. Okay,

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fashion disasters and warlord aesthetics. You

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know, survival may be brutal, but there's no

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excuse for tragic personal styling. Here's what's

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dominating the fashion scene and also what needs

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to be buried along the pre -collapse relics.

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Now what's trending for this summer? Thinner

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chains. Bulk is out. Seek minimalism is in. The

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large industrial chain belts once favored by

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a battle -hardened warrior's absolute fashion

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crime. Today's rising warlords prefer thinner,

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refined metal accents, both practical for combat

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and stylishly intimidating. Bonus points if it

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doubles as an emergency weapon, but it remains

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light enough for dramatic poses. Now tactical

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layering Why settle for one tattered jacket when

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you can layer three? different ones for maximum

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intimidation and functionality and also just

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complete style hatchwork armor blends their combos

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of leather scraps reinforced fabric and metallic

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plating and those are essential for combat ready

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effortless chic and stray bullet holes that are

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intentional oh that is like peak fashion for

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this season now let's find out what the elite

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are wearing and what's hot among the ruling factions

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understated brutality gone are the days of excessive

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gore -covered warlord outfits ew subtle hints

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of past battles are far more menacing we need

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muted ruin tones. The color palette is shifting

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from blood -stained brights to dust -drenched

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neutrals because nothing says dominance like

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looking completely unfazed by the horrors around

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you. Now what's falling out of style? Excessive

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scars as fashion statements. I mean, come on.

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Once they were the ultimate badge of survival,

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they've become overplayed because honestly, really,

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I mean, strategic concealment adds more mystery

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and those gigantic spiked shoulder pads I mean

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come on it's a nightmare in tight corridors warlords

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and their warriors are realizing that function

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and intimidation should meet torn mesh battle

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aesthetics um that's just post -collapse grunges

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starting to feel so contrived expect to shift

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to sleeker tactical wear in upcoming seasons

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I guess that's all I have for today, but, you

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know, just remember, just because everything

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is dusty and dank and, you know, just crumbling

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around you, does not give you an excuse. There

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is no excuse to still look bad. You know, fashion

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is everything. And looking good helps to bring

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peace to your internal self. It helps you be

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more mindful to everything that's around you.

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Oh, yeah, okay, okay, Norma. Rude! Thank you

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so much for that fashion report. You can save

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the mindfulness for your episode tomorrow. Okay.

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We were going to provide the Bunker Realty update,

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but that was going to be presented by Jace, and

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he's currently knocked out from his adventure

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that he had earlier. I will say that the BRBL

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is trying to expand their territory and have

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been giving a lot of citations for stupid stuff

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around their bunkers but Pleasant Valley HOA

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has started their counter -strike and they are

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writing citations to BRBL directly and we'll

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get more information about that later once Jace

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recovers from his headache and wakes up so for

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now good luck everybody we hope that you survive

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to see another day oh instead of tuna couldn't

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even at least found some alcohol i could really

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use that drink