Welcome back to WB in 404 a .m. We do apologize
for dropping the broadcasts for a few days Well,
you see hmm see there were these mutant rats
they were giant and had like multiple tails and
they came by one night and they started chewing
on the outside of our broadcast bunker wall,
which made a huge hole and exposed our wiring
and there were some members of the wire nut clan
that were passing by they saw the hole they saw
the shiny little wires so they decided to help
themselves to it so because of that we of course
we couldn't do any broadcasting because there
was nothing to connect the electricity from our
generators so um we weren't able to get in touch
with our liaison with the happy fallout media
corporation and Just like in the pre -collapse
days, obviously we couldn't also couldn't get
in touch with HR. So I sent Jace and Rusty Buckner.
He's our like maintenance resident handyman type
He's actually gonna have a show but that'll be
coming in a couple weeks because he's extremely
busy Trying to keep everything together. But
anyway, I sent them out to scavenge for wires
and you know scrap metal to see if we could fix
it ourselves. So while they were out and they
were walking toward one of the sections that
has this big heaps of scrap, Jace decided to
pick up a candy bar off the side of the road.
He didn't realize that they were that close to
where the acolytes of the great vending machine
and the rust rats are still, you know, waging
their little war. So when they apparently somebody
saw him pick up the candy bar. Came flying a
flat sand can of soda hit him upside the head
knocked him out rusty had to pull him to safety
after he recovered they went and got the where
you actually were able to find the wires and
some metal to patch the the bunker and then once
they got back Jace lay down in the corner to
recover and Rusty fixes the hole so we're live
again yay Yeah, yay My head still hurts. Do you
have anything for it? No, Jace. I don't Just
try to lay down. It's not like I can run down
to the drugstore and get you some aspirin or
something You know, just remember if you see
candy bars lying down the road, especially right
now don't pick them up Okay Anyway on to the
news As Jace found out, tensions have escalated
between the acolytes of the Great Vending Machine
and the Rust Rats. The snack crisis has entered
its second week, and the ongoing conflict has
shown no sign of resolution. Skirmishes continue
to erupt across vending machine heavy territories.
Reports indicate that the acolytes have doubled
their defenses, reinforcing vending machines
with makeshift barricades. warning signs and
an aggressive sermon about the importance of
proper coin rituals. Now, the Rust Rats regrouped
overnight, attempting a stealth mission to secure
what they claim was just one damn bag of chips
before their morale completely crumbled. The
Acolytes responded fiercely, deploying their
elite force, the Guardians of the Glow, to stand
vigilant near sacred snack dispensers. The intense
standoff occurred at a partially functioning
machine where both factions hurled expired pastries
and candy bars and mocking insults about each
other's lack of faith and automated nourishment.
Now the restaurant's leader, Scrapjaw, said,
we're just trying to survive out here. And if
that means fighting for a 17 -year -old protein
bar, so be it. The vending machines don't care
about anyone. They're just machines. Now, High
Priest Lacington of the hackalites just declared
blasphemy. So the great machine provides snacks
are good snacks are eternal like they always
say If they refuse the honor the sacred transaction
and they shall starve in shame now the casualty
count reports indicate multiple snack related
injuries including minor bruising from stale
wafers and One unlucky soul rendered unconscious
by an airborne can't hand of flat soda gee I
wonder who that was I'm never living this stay
on am I? No, you're not anyway Back to relations
are deteriorating rapidly Diplomacy attempts
involving an offering of half metal chocolate
were immediately rejected So our advice is to
avoid these vending machine heavy territories
chase Unless prepared to align with a faction
barter with highly valuable snack goods or risk
getting your head caved in by a can of old soda.
We remain on high alert. As tensions rise, so
does the likelihood of full -scale snack warfare.
Stay tuned. Next up is our Wasteland Market Watch.
In today's survival economy, canned goods remain
the backbone of the trade. Recent events have
sent the market into a frenzy, shifting the value
of key commodities overnight. Canned baked beans
surged to an all -time high. Experts report on
unprecedented demand spike driven by their long
shelf life, making them ideal for bunker stockpiling.
Faction leaders are hoarding supplies and thus
creating an artificial scarcity and driving up
the prices. A rumored bean -backed currency proposal
has sparked speculation in underground trade
circles. Now kidney beans have dipped slightly.
While they're still valuable, their trade volume
has dropped because As customers say Why have
kidney beans when I can have baked beans? And
there are also some questions about the quality
and recent stockpiles And the faction preferences
are shifting to higher calorie goods Now something
to watch because we're not sure exactly what
it's going to do to the to market There was a
pre -collapse warehouse that was filled with
canned tuna now this could be good if The 15
year old tuna is still okay to eat But this is
something that we're still trying to determine
I mean I'm sure somebody out there is gonna eat
it and then we'll all know because we'll learn
from you know, either their mistake or their
discovery but Because there's a supply flood
that's potentially it could have crash everything
now There have been attempts to rebrand the tuna
as a luxury good and we're not sure how that's
gonna work out Because like I said people don't
know if we can actually eat them But we do have
a lovely debate coming up on wasteland symposium
about expired canned goods whether or not we
should eat them and which types Would be the
best to eat and I think the tuna will be part
of it I get the wonderful honor of hosting that
and we will have two So -called experts so you
can join us later on Anyway, um now Going to
scrap metal there is of course an increased demand
due to ongoing conflict and bunker fortifications
and giant mutant rats eating the outside walls
and such scrap metal has now become a prime trading
commodity especially among faction engineers
and survivalists and reinforcing their shelters
weaponsmiths converting scrap metal into crude
weapons for bartering and then market analysts
if you can call them that are forecasting long
-term stability in the scrap economy okay now
just remember baked beans are now the survival
standard Kidney beans are hanging on but they
are losing ground. We still are debating of the
tuna crisis and scrap remains a safe solid trade
investment. Now coming up is our survival fashion
report and since I could care less about fashion
I'm going to turn this over to our lovely Nova
Thorne and her Overly perky happy self, Nova.
It's my turn to shine. Before I tell you exactly
what's in and what's not, I just remind everyone
that tomorrow is going to be my first episode
of Doom and Bloom, where I teach you how to remain
mindful and serene, even in the Wasteland. Now,
let's discuss what's hot among Wasteland elites.
and what's considered a fashion crime. Okay,
fashion disasters and warlord aesthetics. You
know, survival may be brutal, but there's no
excuse for tragic personal styling. Here's what's
dominating the fashion scene and also what needs
to be buried along the pre -collapse relics.
Now what's trending for this summer? Thinner
chains. Bulk is out. Seek minimalism is in. The
large industrial chain belts once favored by
a battle -hardened warrior's absolute fashion
crime. Today's rising warlords prefer thinner,
refined metal accents, both practical for combat
and stylishly intimidating. Bonus points if it
doubles as an emergency weapon, but it remains
light enough for dramatic poses. Now tactical
layering Why settle for one tattered jacket when
you can layer three? different ones for maximum
intimidation and functionality and also just
complete style hatchwork armor blends their combos
of leather scraps reinforced fabric and metallic
plating and those are essential for combat ready
effortless chic and stray bullet holes that are
intentional oh that is like peak fashion for
this season now let's find out what the elite
are wearing and what's hot among the ruling factions
understated brutality gone are the days of excessive
gore -covered warlord outfits ew subtle hints
of past battles are far more menacing we need
muted ruin tones. The color palette is shifting
from blood -stained brights to dust -drenched
neutrals because nothing says dominance like
looking completely unfazed by the horrors around
you. Now what's falling out of style? Excessive
scars as fashion statements. I mean, come on.
Once they were the ultimate badge of survival,
they've become overplayed because honestly, really,
I mean, strategic concealment adds more mystery
and those gigantic spiked shoulder pads I mean
come on it's a nightmare in tight corridors warlords
and their warriors are realizing that function
and intimidation should meet torn mesh battle
aesthetics um that's just post -collapse grunges
starting to feel so contrived expect to shift
to sleeker tactical wear in upcoming seasons
I guess that's all I have for today, but, you
know, just remember, just because everything
is dusty and dank and, you know, just crumbling
around you, does not give you an excuse. There
is no excuse to still look bad. You know, fashion
is everything. And looking good helps to bring
peace to your internal self. It helps you be
more mindful to everything that's around you.
Oh, yeah, okay, okay, Norma. Rude! Thank you
so much for that fashion report. You can save
the mindfulness for your episode tomorrow. Okay.
We were going to provide the Bunker Realty update,
but that was going to be presented by Jace, and
he's currently knocked out from his adventure
that he had earlier. I will say that the BRBL
is trying to expand their territory and have
been giving a lot of citations for stupid stuff
around their bunkers but Pleasant Valley HOA
has started their counter -strike and they are
writing citations to BRBL directly and we'll
get more information about that later once Jace
recovers from his headache and wakes up so for
now good luck everybody we hope that you survive
to see another day oh instead of tuna couldn't
even at least found some alcohol i could really
use that drink