WEBVTT

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Thank you for joining us today. This is Jace

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Holloway. I've been invited by Abby to give you

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a special disaster weather forecast and alert.

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People living in the northwest corridor of zone

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57 are advised to stay indoors immediately as

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a massive dust storm originating from the radiation

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zone is heading straight for you. There is a

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high exposure warning. This is not just regular

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dust. This is irradiated sand, which, as survivors

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know, has a history of doing very bad things

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to the human body. Symptoms of exposure may include

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itchy skin, unexplainable glowing, sudden extra

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ear growth that has been confirmed by previous

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storms, and potentially turning you into a hideous

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mutant. Lutely did not mean to insult the mutants

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because mutants are a vital part of society and

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bring value. They bring unique traits to the

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world. And honestly, if everyone started mutating,

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the mutants wouldn't be as special. Yeah. So

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mutants, you're amazing. Please don't take offense

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and try to come and kill me. So back to the actual

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warning. Zone 57 residents should take every

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precaution, avoid direct exposure, reinforce

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your shelter. air filters, and under no circumstances

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should you try to ride out the storm like some

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kind of badass cinematic wasteland hero. No one's

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going to care how brave you were, and you're

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the only one who's going to be to blame if you

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start having symptoms. I mean, unless you're

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hoping to join the upcoming Mutant Wrestling

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Federation, then by all means, go for it, I guess.

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So, anyway, forecast summary. Danger level is

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high. Mutant offense level is, I'm hoping, low.

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Truly sorry for what I said and the likelihood

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of regret if you're exposed extreme.