Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? What button do
I have to... Oh, we're live? Oh, awesome! Hi!
And welcome to Wasteland Broadcasting Network,
brought to you by Happy Fallout Media. We're
coming to you from a bunker that you don't know...
Yeah, I'm not giving that information because
then every zombie Raider warlord mutant and other
nasty people will be coming to get us so That's
not important. You need to don't need to worry
about that one anyway After 15 years we are finally
live on the air No more silence in the the wasteland.
Yay. Oh my gosh. I'm so happy We're finally alive!
Oh my goodness! Oh, I can now spread positivity
and just joy throughout the Wasteland. Really,
Nova? I mean, come on, just back off for a minute.
Well, if she goes to say something, then I want
to say something too. My name is Jace Hollowell,
and I've got a book that's supposed to be coming
out soon called The Wasteland Etiquette Guide.
That's your guide to... No, Jace. No, Nova. Look.
I'm just we're just down here to let everybody
know that you know we're no longer silent that
we actually are live now and that we are the
first ones to actually get on the air and that's
all we're not doing it like I said we're not
doing any advertisements because people don't
want to hear all that and we're just trying to
say hey look we are still alive and we the serious
elixir no label No questions. The strength has
no name. The strength has no origin. The strength
does not ask questions. What does it do? Who
knows? What's in it? No one's sure. Where did
it come from? That's really not important. Here's
what we do know. So the harvest report increased
strength. One individual eventually punched through
a bunker door after consumption. Some claim temporary
telepathy. but I'm only afraid hearing whispers
from canned goods. Others describe alarm and
hallucinations including visions of ancient warlords
vending machine prophecies and floating beings
speaking in pathetic rills. Try it today. Come
on down to the abandoned mall at zone 18. What
the hell was that? Somebody hacked us. Can you
believe this? Somebody hacked us. Okay, for one
thing. Just let everybody know we didn't Authorize
that I guess now that somebody's on the air everybody's
got to be on the air even though We're the first
ones who did it, but anyway um one thing Don't
go to sector 18 You don't want anything to do
with that and the second thing is don't be drinking
weird -ass liquids Just because somebody says
it can you know make you a superhuman mutant
whatever I Mean just don't do it I mean, unless
you are or are planning to become an acolyte
of the Great Vending Machine and you want to
see or hear, you know, prophetic whatevers. So
just, just don't do it. But of course we, I mean,
I can't stop you, but you know, just use a little
bit of common sense. Anyway, let's get back to
the subject of... We were the first ones on the
air. So let's just go over a little bit of what's
going to happen. in the, you know, hopefully
years to come. Now, if we - Oh, let me go first.
My name is Nova Thorne, and I will be bringing
to you doom and bloom. I mean, just because it's
the Wasteland, and that doesn't mean that everyone
has to be so sad all the time. I will bring positivity,
and I will bring mindfulness to the Wasteland.
And I have a song that I wrote just for you.
No, no, no. I told you. No self -promotion right
now. We're just trying to give an overview. You
can sing on your own little show or one of your
own segments or whatever. But, oh my gosh, you're
just way too perky. Now, Abby, you just need
to learn how to relax. I mean, I can give you
some private sessions. No, no, no. I don't need
any of that. Thank you. I'll... I have my own
coping mechanisms. Thank you. So, anyway, besides
Doom and Bloom... with Nova Thorne and then of
course our resident writer Jace Halloway who
is going to be giving you tips on survival and
Just kind of telling you a few things We also
will have they're not here right now, but Russ
Buckner will be hosting, you know Bunker handyman
he will be going to your bunkers individually
and trying to fix the messes that you make. We
have Vega Nightshade, I don't think that's her
real name, but we have Vega Nightshade, who will
be giving you cosmic horoscopes, you know, cosmic
fallout, I think that's what she's calling it,
yes. And then we also have, well we have, we're
gonna have debates and we're even gonna have
a, yes, a dating show. it's really gonna be exciting
and of course, there's gonna be breaking news
and I will be your your host for the news network
and You know, it's just so much stuff coming
up and we're really excited to share it with
you And I guess that's all we have for you today.
So You know, take care of yourselves, you know,
make sure you hide though your your canned goods
and Watch out for mutant raccoons So we'll see
you next time. Oh. I wonder if that mysterious
elixir can get you drunk. Hmm.