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Recovery Radio

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KMP300.

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Ah,

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yes.

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You are listening to

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the recovery radio podcast

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on KMP3.

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I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous

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and I will be your host.

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You can email me at sarcastic

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bigbook@gmail.

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You can follow me on Instagram at

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sarcastic.a.book.

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As always,

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glad you're here with me now. Don't know

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if your day is just starting, if it's

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ending, if you're right somewhere in the

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middle.

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Maybe you're riding a bike. Maybe you're

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baking a cake. Maybe you're eating

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leftover pumpkin pie.

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I don't know what you're doing. Maybe

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you're curled up in a ball,

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balling your eyes out. Lord knows I've

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done it. Whatever you're doing,

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glad we're together. Now,

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if yesterday was Thanksgiving for you, I

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hope it was a good one. Yesterday was

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Thanksgiving for me.

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And um

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got to tell you,

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I know this is unusual for Thanksgiving.

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So,

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um, this normally doesn't happen on

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Thanksgiving, but I just have to share

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with you. I ate a lot.

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And um, it was fun. It was fun to throw

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caution to the wind.

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My uh medical doctor said that's healthy

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eating

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to sometimes go ballistic on food

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but to not do it on a regular basis.

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It's a part of healthy eating which was

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fascinating. So I kept that in mind

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yesterday as I shoveled

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pie

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into my mouth.

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No, truth be told, I didn't go crazy,

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but I did eat delicious food. My wife is

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a

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incredible

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cook and she makes things

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taste very unhealthy even though they're

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not. So, that's the truth. But it was

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great.

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And uh

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she loves watching the dog show.

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So, we watched the dog show and um

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that was fun. We have our little

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traditions that we do. Anyways, hope you

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had a good Thanksgiving

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and um

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well, we also played cards and I made up

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a character

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um while we were playing cards that ends

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every sentence with or is that just

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something I read on the web? So, we were

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playing cards and I was like, are you

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cheating again or is that just something

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I read on the web?

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Bottom line, we've been saying it a lot

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in our home and it's making us laugh.

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Anyways,

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grateful I'm sober. Grateful I have no

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desire to drink today. That is the big

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news. No desire to drink today.

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Didn't cross my mind yesterday.

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There was a time when I was even in

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sobriety, even before the obsession

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returned and went away again.

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There was a time I was fixated on that.

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I was just monitoring it. Do I want to

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drink right now? I don't.

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I shared about it on here a long time

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ago. The first event I went to that

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involved alcohol was a wedding that I

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remember and

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boy I was I was just

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I think I shared that Cat Stevens had

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this song

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called the boy with the moon and star in

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his head and he mentions

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cider and wine being at this celebration

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and I for some reason that was

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comforting.

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kept telling myself, well, you know, I

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don't know. I don't know why it was

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comforting, but it was comforting.

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So, the whole time I was at this

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wedding, I was just

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holding my glass of apple cider

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thinking, you know,

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hey, if Cat Steven mentions, it must be

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true.

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Anyways,

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didn't cross my mind yesterday, and I

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don't take that for granted.

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So today I thought I would talk about

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um

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it's kind of an analogy that I have kind

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of a way of thinking about something

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that I have that maybe I've articulated

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to my wife but that's about it

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and it's

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you know I've shared on here I'm real

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deep thinker and have to figure stuff

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out and you know things are complicated

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and complex andah

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you know all this just so for that

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reason to keep it very simple for

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myself, I have these really simple

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visual

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analogies that help me tremendously.

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And um

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one of them is this. One of them is that

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God's in a parked car.

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He's parked in the moment.

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And

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if I'm going 5 miles an hour,

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I can reach him, but it's not that

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comfortable. It's not that easy. If I'm

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going 10 miles an hour, it's a lot

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harder. If I'm going 50 m hour, I can't

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really converse

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because he's parked in the present

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moment. That's what's real and that's

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therefore

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where God must be.

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So

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I really think about that

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as I go through the day.

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Very aware of the fact when I'm going

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10, 15, 20,

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five,

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I want to slow down.

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get present so that I could really

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clearly converse

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and hear.

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And that works for me and it also works

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for how I interact with others. And

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that's how I learned this really is that

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if you know it's kind of the same thing

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if you're if you're going five and

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someone's going 20, you can't really

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communicate with them either.

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And to me, it's all one and the same.

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Can't really reach someone

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if they're going 20 and I'm parked or if

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I'm if if if they're going 10 and I'm

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not moving or vice versa. It just

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doesn't happen. I have noticed.

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And how this helps me so much is that

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when you're parked, when you're in the

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moment, the first thing you realize is

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that very few people are in the moment.

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The more present you are, the more you

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realize the lack of presence.

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very rare

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that someone's not going even five or 10

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or 15.

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And

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I don't really attempt to I guess I'm

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kind of looking for as I go through the

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day I'm looking for someone to be slowed

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down enough

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to be able to

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connect with.

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It's rare.

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Half of that is sad and that's one side

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of the coin,

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but the other half of it is

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it's an incredible opportunity. In a

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way, I just kind of feel like I'm I

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mean, it's just an incredible

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opportunity to just learn when to shut

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up and listen.

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For example, if somebody's going 50, I

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don't I don't get in there. I don't try

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anymore. There's no point.

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Somebody's going 50 miles an hour, I let

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them talk.

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few exceptions because I've just seen

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that it's feudal. You're not going to

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reach them. They're going too fast.

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So I'm always just kind of waiting for

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somebody to slow down enough to interact

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with

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because then I feel like

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in terms of being useful to God

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I really feel like everything other than

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that is just noise.

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If I'm going 50 and you're going 50 and

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you know,

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it's just a bunch of noise.

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When I first got silver, I was going

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100.

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And then I did my inventory

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and I slowed down

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to about 50.

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Then I did my fifth step. I slowed down.

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Sometimes I was stopped

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and I would speed up again 25 50 for a

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while.

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It's taking some time

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but not that much time. It's really a

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matter of doing the steps for me.

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That really helped slow it down. So

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today I can go real slow and it's

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comfortable.

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cuz everything's always okay when you're

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parked

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no matter what

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because that's where God is. So,

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I wanted to share that today.

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I've never said that out loud, like I

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said, except for maybe once to my wife.

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So, I wanted to put it out there and

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see if that helped somebody.

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How how you slow down

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in my experience is by

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doing and living the principles

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contained in the 12 steps. That's how I

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slow down.

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Get myself unblocked.

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Selfishness. It's like gasoline

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makes your car go faster.

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Selfishness. Fear.

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It's like stepping on the gas.

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Sometimes you're going in reverse.

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Sometimes you're going forward. But it's

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stepping on the gas.

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Fear. If you don't want to go, if you

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don't want to call it that, if you have

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a euphemism for fear, if you want to

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call it a concern or

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just a worry or something, it's fear

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in my view. And it just speeds up the

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car.

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Doubt,

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same thing.

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Resentment,

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it's hitting the gas.

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remorse, shame,

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trying to control.

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Every time I try to control, I hit the

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gas. Whether it's the past or the

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future, every time I get into the role

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of trying to play God, I

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am hitting the accelerator.

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So

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try to keep my foot on the brake

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and uh put it in park as often as I can

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and then

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I have access to all the resources

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inside me present and I can have fun.

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cuz I'm not trying to control anything.

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I could just uh be.

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So, I don't know.

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There it is. I think that's it.

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I'm going to fold up the cupcake stand

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now.

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I'm not doing anything today.

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I'm resting today.

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For me, resting will probably involve

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working on a couple projects here and

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there

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around the house.

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It feels good.

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Anyways,

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if you're hurting, I'm sorry that you

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are. If you're in fear,

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there is a tool that I've learned that

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works. Realize you're playing God. Ask

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God to remove it and go be

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the light best you can.

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I read something from Emma Fox yesterday

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that said, "If you want to know what it

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is you believe in, it's easy. Just watch

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what you do. Pay attention to what you

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do because that is what you believe.

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So if you want to change what you do,

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change your beliefs.

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Evan Fox knows a couple things. I've not

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I've noticed.

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All right, I'm out of here. I'm going to

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go relax now. I got to go hit the break.

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Keep it in park as best I can today.

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I want to give a shout out to uh Happy

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Joy and three

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and uh Black Rhinos

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podcast greater than yourself. So for

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gratitudes podcast, anonymous podcast

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want to thank the people who are having

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sarcastic bigbook meetings on Zoom.

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I want to thank the people who are

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supporting my Instagram page and all of

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my endeavors so much. I appreciate it so

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much. Means a lot. You can follow me

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sarcastic.a.book.

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Bunch of silliness on there.

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And um I've been making a lot of fake

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books on there.

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And I've started to put together a book

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of the fake books that I'm going to put

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out

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because it's fun and it makes me laugh.

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and um drop me an email. I love the

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emails that I get. It all means a lot.

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The messages, the emails.

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Um sarcastic bigbook atgmail. You can go

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to sarcasticbigbook.com

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for all the information about all of it.

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And um I never plugged that, but that's

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my website.

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Anyways,

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I'll say it to anyone who needs to hear

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it.

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Everything's okay.

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Everything's okay.

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I know

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a lot of times it doesn't look like it

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or feel like it. I know that. That's why

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I say that.

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I say it because I've spent years of my

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life not feeling like everything was

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okay.

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That's where this

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thing that I say at the end of the show

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comes from. Comes from being very aware

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of how often it doesn't feel like

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everything's okay.

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So, I just wanted to say it

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and um hope you have a wonderful weekend

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in every single way.

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And um

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and on that note, I am going to go try

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to live a life that was worth saving.

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And I hope you'll do the same.

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Good night.

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Heat. Heat.

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I'm

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happy.

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Heat. Heat.

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Oh,