Recovery Radio
KMP300.
Ah,
yes.
You are listening to
the recovery radio podcast
on KMP3.
I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
and I will be your host.
You can email me at sarcastic
bigbook@gmail.
You can follow me on Instagram at
sarcastic.a.book.
As always,
glad you're here with me now. Don't know
if your day is just starting, if it's
ending, if you're right somewhere in the
middle.
Maybe you're riding a bike. Maybe you're
baking a cake. Maybe you're eating
leftover pumpkin pie.
I don't know what you're doing. Maybe
you're curled up in a ball,
balling your eyes out. Lord knows I've
done it. Whatever you're doing,
glad we're together. Now,
if yesterday was Thanksgiving for you, I
hope it was a good one. Yesterday was
Thanksgiving for me.
And um
got to tell you,
I know this is unusual for Thanksgiving.
So,
um, this normally doesn't happen on
Thanksgiving, but I just have to share
with you. I ate a lot.
And um, it was fun. It was fun to throw
caution to the wind.
My uh medical doctor said that's healthy
eating
to sometimes go ballistic on food
but to not do it on a regular basis.
It's a part of healthy eating which was
fascinating. So I kept that in mind
yesterday as I shoveled
pie
into my mouth.
No, truth be told, I didn't go crazy,
but I did eat delicious food. My wife is
a
incredible
cook and she makes things
taste very unhealthy even though they're
not. So, that's the truth. But it was
great.
And uh
she loves watching the dog show.
So, we watched the dog show and um
that was fun. We have our little
traditions that we do. Anyways, hope you
had a good Thanksgiving
and um
well, we also played cards and I made up
a character
um while we were playing cards that ends
every sentence with or is that just
something I read on the web? So, we were
playing cards and I was like, are you
cheating again or is that just something
I read on the web?
Bottom line, we've been saying it a lot
in our home and it's making us laugh.
Anyways,
grateful I'm sober. Grateful I have no
desire to drink today. That is the big
news. No desire to drink today.
Didn't cross my mind yesterday.
There was a time when I was even in
sobriety, even before the obsession
returned and went away again.
There was a time I was fixated on that.
I was just monitoring it. Do I want to
drink right now? I don't.
I shared about it on here a long time
ago. The first event I went to that
involved alcohol was a wedding that I
remember and
boy I was I was just
I think I shared that Cat Stevens had
this song
called the boy with the moon and star in
his head and he mentions
cider and wine being at this celebration
and I for some reason that was
comforting.
kept telling myself, well, you know, I
don't know. I don't know why it was
comforting, but it was comforting.
So, the whole time I was at this
wedding, I was just
holding my glass of apple cider
thinking, you know,
hey, if Cat Steven mentions, it must be
true.
Anyways,
didn't cross my mind yesterday, and I
don't take that for granted.
So today I thought I would talk about
um
it's kind of an analogy that I have kind
of a way of thinking about something
that I have that maybe I've articulated
to my wife but that's about it
and it's
you know I've shared on here I'm real
deep thinker and have to figure stuff
out and you know things are complicated
and complex andah
you know all this just so for that
reason to keep it very simple for
myself, I have these really simple
visual
analogies that help me tremendously.
And um
one of them is this. One of them is that
God's in a parked car.
He's parked in the moment.
And
if I'm going 5 miles an hour,
I can reach him, but it's not that
comfortable. It's not that easy. If I'm
going 10 miles an hour, it's a lot
harder. If I'm going 50 m hour, I can't
really converse
because he's parked in the present
moment. That's what's real and that's
therefore
where God must be.
So
I really think about that
as I go through the day.
Very aware of the fact when I'm going
10, 15, 20,
five,
I want to slow down.
get present so that I could really
clearly converse
and hear.
And that works for me and it also works
for how I interact with others. And
that's how I learned this really is that
if you know it's kind of the same thing
if you're if you're going five and
someone's going 20, you can't really
communicate with them either.
And to me, it's all one and the same.
Can't really reach someone
if they're going 20 and I'm parked or if
I'm if if if they're going 10 and I'm
not moving or vice versa. It just
doesn't happen. I have noticed.
And how this helps me so much is that
when you're parked, when you're in the
moment, the first thing you realize is
that very few people are in the moment.
The more present you are, the more you
realize the lack of presence.
very rare
that someone's not going even five or 10
or 15.
And
I don't really attempt to I guess I'm
kind of looking for as I go through the
day I'm looking for someone to be slowed
down enough
to be able to
connect with.
It's rare.
Half of that is sad and that's one side
of the coin,
but the other half of it is
it's an incredible opportunity. In a
way, I just kind of feel like I'm I
mean, it's just an incredible
opportunity to just learn when to shut
up and listen.
For example, if somebody's going 50, I
don't I don't get in there. I don't try
anymore. There's no point.
Somebody's going 50 miles an hour, I let
them talk.
few exceptions because I've just seen
that it's feudal. You're not going to
reach them. They're going too fast.
So I'm always just kind of waiting for
somebody to slow down enough to interact
with
because then I feel like
in terms of being useful to God
I really feel like everything other than
that is just noise.
If I'm going 50 and you're going 50 and
you know,
it's just a bunch of noise.
When I first got silver, I was going
100.
And then I did my inventory
and I slowed down
to about 50.
Then I did my fifth step. I slowed down.
Sometimes I was stopped
and I would speed up again 25 50 for a
while.
It's taking some time
but not that much time. It's really a
matter of doing the steps for me.
That really helped slow it down. So
today I can go real slow and it's
comfortable.
cuz everything's always okay when you're
parked
no matter what
because that's where God is. So,
I wanted to share that today.
I've never said that out loud, like I
said, except for maybe once to my wife.
So, I wanted to put it out there and
see if that helped somebody.
How how you slow down
in my experience is by
doing and living the principles
contained in the 12 steps. That's how I
slow down.
Get myself unblocked.
Selfishness. It's like gasoline
makes your car go faster.
Selfishness. Fear.
It's like stepping on the gas.
Sometimes you're going in reverse.
Sometimes you're going forward. But it's
stepping on the gas.
Fear. If you don't want to go, if you
don't want to call it that, if you have
a euphemism for fear, if you want to
call it a concern or
just a worry or something, it's fear
in my view. And it just speeds up the
car.
Doubt,
same thing.
Resentment,
it's hitting the gas.
remorse, shame,
trying to control.
Every time I try to control, I hit the
gas. Whether it's the past or the
future, every time I get into the role
of trying to play God, I
am hitting the accelerator.
So
try to keep my foot on the brake
and uh put it in park as often as I can
and then
I have access to all the resources
inside me present and I can have fun.
cuz I'm not trying to control anything.
I could just uh be.
So, I don't know.
There it is. I think that's it.
I'm going to fold up the cupcake stand
now.
I'm not doing anything today.
I'm resting today.
For me, resting will probably involve
working on a couple projects here and
there
around the house.
It feels good.
Anyways,
if you're hurting, I'm sorry that you
are. If you're in fear,
there is a tool that I've learned that
works. Realize you're playing God. Ask
God to remove it and go be
the light best you can.
I read something from Emma Fox yesterday
that said, "If you want to know what it
is you believe in, it's easy. Just watch
what you do. Pay attention to what you
do because that is what you believe.
So if you want to change what you do,
change your beliefs.
Evan Fox knows a couple things. I've not
I've noticed.
All right, I'm out of here. I'm going to
go relax now. I got to go hit the break.
Keep it in park as best I can today.
I want to give a shout out to uh Happy
Joy and three
and uh Black Rhinos
podcast greater than yourself. So for
gratitudes podcast, anonymous podcast
want to thank the people who are having
sarcastic bigbook meetings on Zoom.
I want to thank the people who are
supporting my Instagram page and all of
my endeavors so much. I appreciate it so
much. Means a lot. You can follow me
sarcastic.a.book.
Bunch of silliness on there.
And um I've been making a lot of fake
books on there.
And I've started to put together a book
of the fake books that I'm going to put
out
because it's fun and it makes me laugh.
and um drop me an email. I love the
emails that I get. It all means a lot.
The messages, the emails.
Um sarcastic bigbook atgmail. You can go
to sarcasticbigbook.com
for all the information about all of it.
And um I never plugged that, but that's
my website.
Anyways,
I'll say it to anyone who needs to hear
it.
Everything's okay.
I know
a lot of times it doesn't look like it
or feel like it. I know that. That's why
I say that.
I say it because I've spent years of my
life not feeling like everything was
okay.
That's where this
thing that I say at the end of the show
comes from. Comes from being very aware
of how often it doesn't feel like
everything's okay.
So, I just wanted to say it
and um hope you have a wonderful weekend
in every single way.
And um
and on that note, I am going to go try
to live a life that was worth saving.
And I hope you'll do the same.
Good night.
Heat. Heat.
I'm
happy.
Heat. Heat.
Oh,