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Everything and nothing at the same time. I was
just explaining all the shit that's on this desk.
It's like everybody likes to give me something
that sits here, which is kind of cool. Like Ed
Calderon gave me this. It's like a WD -40. With
a lighter attached to it, you can fucking blast
people. Is it like a self -defense? I don't know.
He's always got these things, like cartel things.
That looks like it's 3D printed. Yeah. Yeah.
I think it is. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, it's
a real portable flamethrower. Holy shit. I love
this. From two common items. And then I think
it was Luke Caverns gave me this. Is that who
gave me this? The Olmec head. It's from the Olmecs.
Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. And then, of course,
my man John Reeves has always given me these
mammoth things. I got mammoth teeth. Oh, this
is actually from Colossal. But he gave me a 1911
handle. That's legit. Yeah. Even though, do you
have any 1911s? No. Yeah. I got 2011s. Yeah,
of course. It's a huge upgrade. Yeah. But, you
know, I'm sure it'll probably be able to fit.
You can bring it to a gunsmith. He can make it
fit. Yeah. Well, you know what you could do?
You could have him make one for your bow. So
you could put the bone on each side of your bow.
Oh, I have that. You have it? Yeah, from Rattler
Grip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is another
piece. Shout out to Handsome Rob at Rattler Grip.
He always hooks me up. Gives me those keep hammering
ones. Yeah, those are cool. Yeah, it feels better,
too. It feels better in the hand. It's interesting,
like, Hoyt doesn't have a whole lot of options.
Like, UltraView doesn't make their handles for
Hoyt, but they make them for Matthews because
he shoots Matthews. But it's a nice handle upgrade.
It really does, like, the way it sits in your
hand, it really does feel, like, a little better.
Are you still... Putting them on your Hoyt for
everyone. The rattler grips. You do? Yeah. Yeah.
These are great. He just sent me some new ones.
It feels better. And the bone, there's something
about the bone. It's more tactile in your hand
than the plastic. Well, I've been wrapping mine
with that camouflage athletic tape. Oh, really?
Yeah. Bomar sells stuff like that. He sells specific
bow grip. Right. It's got a little bit of tackiness
to it, but some people think you shouldn't have
that. They think your hand should be so relaxed
that it should be able to slip around your hand
so there's like no torque whatsoever. in your
front hand. I don't like that. I like to feel
the dexterity of it, right? I like to have a
little bit of relief in the hand in the context
of, like, I've got to have some grippiness to
it. Just like a baseball bat or any other things.
Even all of the, like, Glocks and 2011s, I'll
still do an upgrade on the stippling and clean
a little bit more, but I've also got giant hands
for a... Well, I shouldn't be... I shouldn't
say I'm small. Like... I am two inches taller
than the average Asian woman. I don't like to
brag about it. I don't want to come out with
that right away. It just might seem a little
bit egotistical. Yeah, but if you do anything,
I think it's just like whether it's with archery
or anything with shooting, it just has to...
Register with you. It's not it's not gonna be
the same with everybody. Hmm Yeah, I know dudes
who just can't get used to finger triggers And
that's other some dudes just love finger triggers
and some guys just have to shoot a hinge and
some guys just can't do it I I shoot them all
man. Yeah, like I just have so I got that that
dump bag now that I'll basically all wear on
the side and then I'll do the the hinge roulette.
So I'll just like reach in there, reach in. And
then I got to shoot a hinge or I got to shoot
this. And the only way that's that you don't,
or that the mix up part, you've got to shoot
the wrist strap, right? You have to put that
on. So you can't just do shooter roulette with
all of that. But that's the, the wrist straps
a little bit more involved, but I love having
them. I've been using the wise guy. I've been
ever since our last hunt, I've been only using
the wise guy and I'm used to it now. It took
a while. I was like hammering the trigger for
a little bit. The thing is, it's like with archery,
once your form breaks down and then you try to
compensate because you're tired, I think I should
just limit myself to one hour. And after one
hour, just stop. So is that what you're doing
every day is basically an hour? Yeah. A little
bit more, a little less. Yeah, but it's when
it's more, it's when things go sideways. Like
I'll give myself like a few minutes break to
let my arm relax. And then I just, I'm just,
it's too much compensating because my arm's tired.
Right. And not enough, especially because the
bow's 84. Now I got the new one that's 90 pounds.
Is that what you're shooting every day? Yeah.
You're shooting 90 pounds. 84 every day. 84 every
day. I haven't set up the 90 yet. It's still
an archery country. And then do you, are you
going out to 100 plus every day too? Or are you
sticking to like 85? 85. It's my standard in
my backyard. As long as there's no one wandering
around. When people are wandering around, I tend
to, I got, you know, like this landscaper's,
I don't do the long bomb. I've got, my wife is
redoing this. little garden house in the back
so she won't let me shoot at it anymore because
she's afraid I'm gonna put an arrow through her
little hut that she's making. She's actually
doing all the work too. She's got like a tool
belt on and she's out there hammering away. Oh,
that's great. She's doing all the work. Wow.
So she's like, you can no longer use this as
your backstop because it was just a pile of shit
that I could basically shoot arrows at. Oh, that's
a bad trade. It's a super bad trade. Yeah, I
need a backstop. You gotta fuck off. Like, we
were talking about like must -haves for backyards.
Like, I gotta I'm not living in a house where
I can't shoot at least 50 yards. No. I go out
in the backyard. I get my range finder. I bring
a range finder when I look at houses. No bullshit.
Are you serious? 100%. I've been doing it for
the last like six, seven years. Before I bought
this house. When I bought the house in Austin,
it was a big yard. I'm like, we're good. I just
had to find a spot. I was like, this is at least
100 yards from here to here. Have you ever punched?
punch the trigger and put one out in the river.
I guess you shouldn't tell me that. No, I never
shoot towards the river because kayakers, you
never know when something, because like the kayakers,
they like to go like real close to the shore.
And it's like, if you hear, fuck, that would
suck. Oh my God. I'd be in such deep shit. I
would never do it. I wouldn't, I just wouldn't.
Deep shit. Deepest of deep shit. An asshole like
me who's always promoting archery, I shoot a
kayaker with a field tip right through the fucking
forehead. Is he some poor lady? Like a unicorn
running off the river. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I
very rarely, I mean, if I'm shooting broadheads,
I really know where I'm going. Yeah. I don't
fuck around. But with field tips, I'll launch
some bombs. But it's never in an area where there's
anything behind me. No. I don't. It's just too
risky. I had, so I had a little archery range
in the back of my Salt Lake City building. And
I used to let everybody. Use it in the company
and then after you've worked for the company
for a while you'd get your choice you get like
a staccato or a rifle or a bow and then we're
doing we still do right we still do a lot of
better and adaptive athlete shoots and the tactical
or Tactical games and the total archery challenges.
So I've given away a hundred bows probably. Oh,
that's all company Do you let them pick their
brand and the whole deal? No, no, no. We partner
with Hoyt on the last batch. Then we partner
with PSE. We partner with anybody that wants
to go in 50 -50 on us. Oh, great. That's awesome.
But then we'll make them Black Rifle custom.
So it's cool camouflage, a little branding on
it. But here's the downside of that. When you've
got a bunch of people shooting in the back. And
I had a storage facility in the back. There were
always arrows in this, like, storage area. And
so finally our general counsel came to me. He's
like, no more. You got to stop. You can't shoot
any more arrows. So I banned it for everybody
except for me. Me, Logan, you know, Matt, basically
the people that could have either absorbed the
legal fees or at least, like, explained it away.
Well, the thing about archery is it's such a...
It's a skill that 100 % degrades. Yeah. Like
you have to stay on it. Yeah. And you just can't
trust that everyone's staying on it. No. It's
even hard for me if I take three weeks off. Yeah.
I was having that a little bit of tendonitis
in my left elbow. So I took like a month off
after running season. And you put it back in
your hand and it feels almost like a foreign
object. I know. It feels horrible. It's just
gross until you have at least three or four days
of shooting consistently back into the groove.
You can't put the arrow where you want. It's
just... Three weeks off. And it feels to me like
the more consistent I am in off -season, like
the entire year, those are the years where I'm
really shooting my best. You can't just get back
on the bow like a month before you have to go
hunt. You can't do it. I can't. I know guys that
can. Guys that I grew up with that have been
shooting since they were nine. Right, but they're
really good shots. Imagine how good they would
be if they did it all the time. Yeah. Like a
guy like Cam. Like, he's not taking any time
off. No. He's shooting every day. Period. But
that's part... He takes pleasure in the pain,
too. He doesn't take time off because he's...
That would be relaxing. Yeah, it'd be relaxing.
Like, imagine... Just imagine that. Like, Cam
Haines on vacation. His feet up, you know, drinking
on the beach. Is that even like a... No. It's
not even a thing. I've gone on vacation with
them. Have you really? Yeah, but we went vacationing
in Lanai where we could bow hunt. Yeah, yeah.
So we would bow hunt at least once a day because
Lanai, you know, you've been. It's one of the
craziest places on earth. It's great. For people
that don't know, there's 3 ,000 people and 30
,000 deer. Yeah. And they were given to King
Kamehameha by whoever the head dude was in India.
He gave them a gift of access. Is that where
they came from? Mm -hmm. I didn't realize that
that was the actual timeline. Yeah. I didn't
realize that. Yeah. And they're everywhere. They're
amazing. They tried to reintroduce them, try
to introduce them to the big island. Like, I
know Shane Dorian was all pumped about it, but
then they eradicated them. People killed them.
They said they were invasive. I think they need
to be everywhere they can be. They're delicious.
They're delicious. They're the most delicious.
Of the deer. Of course. Next to elk. For me,
it's elk and then axis. But axis are the most
challenging to hunt. They're the fastest things
I've ever seen in my life. They move so fast,
it doesn't even make sense. It's like, how are
you doing that? You could dodge an arrow from
30 yards away, and the arrow's not even close
to them when it gets there? I had a female bedded
at 30, and she jumped the string on her bed at
30 yards. That was my first shot. I realized.
Holy shit. Yeah, they're different, man. I've
got to up my game. Well, it's like they evolved
with tigers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the thing.
It's like you've got to be able to go. Can you
imagine how tough you would be if you evolved
with tigers? That would be sick. Well, that's
the problem with America, period. It's like there's
not enough. There's too many people running around
with zero physical challenges. And they're so
soft. Like, there's a giant percentage of our
population that is so soft. And if, like, if
there was, like, if the world went nuclear, we
lost everything, and then it was, like, hand
-to -hand battles, every country could invade
America if we ran out of bullets. Once we run
out of bullets, every country can fuck us up.
Yeah. You can walk, run. I think... Well, that's,
you know, with coffee, right? The best coffee
shops are like, it's so much stuff on Instagram.
It's so funny because you walk into a coffee
shop and if you see the craziest looking freak,
it's going to have the best coffee. What is that
about baristas? I don't know, but it's the same.
There's so left wing weirdo fucking lip rings.
Oh yeah. How many nose rings do you have? Like
how many colors do you have in your hair and
how many pronouns do you have? Because that's
like, you're going to make. That's the greatest
espresso. I've ever had and that's the joke right
cuz I'll go cruise around like in Austin for
the last couple weeks Yeah, you see a dude who's
jacked with a hand tattoo. He's gonna make you
a bullshit coffee. It's like I can make you pour
over I mean I can just pour it over. You know
what? He'll make you some cowboy coffee Fucking
one of them tin pots you put on the fire take
his sock off or something like I'm good. I'm
all set man What is it about baristas? Like,
how did that become such a left -wing safe place?
You know, I don't know. I think the origin of
it comes from San Francisco, Seattle, right?
All the, we'll say the left wing, left coast,
all of the wokas. Hubs. Yeah, because that also
drove most of what I would say is the third and
fourth wave. Because there's one, two, three,
four basic waves in coffee. The third and fourth
wave are the most recent. The fourth wave would
be considered single origin, very lightly rose
coffees. And you've been to these coffee shops.
You know what they look like. It takes you 15
minutes to get a cup of coffee. They typically
won't even talk to you. They look down at the
computer screen. Going to be decent cop, right?
So if you go first wave, which is going to be
like Folgers, Maxwell House, that's like been
around for a hundred years. That's a commodity
coffee. It's going to have Robusta. It's going
to be darker roasted. That's going to be first
wave. And then a second wave would be experiential.
So it'd be more like Starbucks kind of second
wave would be experiential dark. And then third
wave would be more artisan micro lot, single
origin. And then fourth wave is. kind of a mix
of the best in third wave that really activates
your senses in the sense of like, now they're
doing anaerobics, so they're using things from
like wine and beer, and they're developing all
these different profiles. But that artisan craft,
the genesis in like San Francisco and Seattle
from third wave, they took on identity politics
and then drove it through the trade. It's pretty
impressive. It's so weird because if you go anywhere,
you can get amazing cups of coffee. You're just
going to like wade through the woke -ism to go
get it. Yeah. I can't go there. No. I was at
a Starbucks the other day and two lesbians walked
in. They saw me and they left. What? That's how
bad it was? They said, we can't. We can't do
this. Seriously? They looked in my face and they
said, we can't do this. And they left. I was
like, I'm a big fan. Yeah. I'm a big fan of your
work. I'm a big fan of your work. I had a cup
of coffee from Starbucks, which I rarely go into,
but it was with my family. And it was so bad.
A cup of black coffee. It's all a drink. I don't
put anything in it. I was like, this is like
not drinkable. It tastes like shit, which is
like everybody throws a bunch of cream in there
and a bunch of sugar in there and you get your
caffeine and it tastes like what you like. But
if you just try to just drink coffee at Starbucks,
it is such a bad product. And that doesn't have
to be like that. Well, part of the problem is
when they over roast it because they know it's
going to have cream and sugar in it. But why
over roast it then? Because you can make a consistent
profile and it's just consistently very dark
and extremely acidic, basically. And that becomes
the consistency in the product. Do you think
people have this thing in their head that the
darker the coffee is, the stronger it is? Yeah,
of course. That's one of the huge misconceptions,
right? Right. It's just bucket the misconceptions
in here, which is, you know, coffee is not a
bean. It's a fruit. So it's a cherry. And then
you roast the pit. So the second one would probably
be the darker you roast something, the more caffeine
it's going to have, which is absolutely not the
case. It's the opposite. It's completely opposite
because you get two. genetic strains you've got
robusta and arabica robusta is smaller bean it's
got more caffeine it's also more bitter arabica
probably constitutes probably 60 to 70 percent
of the world's coffee but it's more flavor it's
got less caffeine and it's less acidic in general
and then when you over roast it you can kind
of combine multiple lots multiple Variants of
Arabica. Oh, I see. And then you can make this
consistent profile. So it consistently sucks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're going to put
cream and sugar in it, nobody cares because they're
like, I just need something that's going to serve
as a caffeine vehicle for my cream and sugar.
I know, but wouldn't that be okay if you just
had good coffee and did that and didn't burn
it? Well, I do. I think that's where third...
Third wave and fourth wave, it's more directly
related to the quality of the coffee. It's no
cream, no sugar. And it's more first and second
wave, it's cream and sugar. Because you're going
to have to cover up the inconsistencies. Well,
some people just like it anyway because what
they're getting is a treat. They're not thinking
of it as, like, I'm drinking coffee. Like, they're
getting a treat. Right. Like, if you have order
a Frappuccino. It's a milkshake. It's a milkshake.
Yeah. Yeah. There's tons of sugar. Yeah. Tons
of caffeine too. You're like sitting in your
cubicle. You got like a hundred grams of sugar,
200 milligrams of caffeine. You're like, you're,
you're skyrocketing with just energy until you
crash and then you need another one. Yeah. And
then you're just doing that all day and frying
your central nervous system. And then when you
get out of work, you just die. You just go home
and go home and melt on the couch and watch some
sports, man. Yeah. Your insulin. all fucked up
you're falling asleep like it's the coffee the
coffee nerd conversations just put half the fucking
audience to sleep too i don't care i don't care
yeah yeah it's so funny man i'll start talking
about it i'm like i should not because i was
a comms guy that back in in my previous profession
my previous life and it's so funny because when
you talk about communications and just technology
in general and you start analyzing like you know
frequencies and and uh spectrum analyzers or
whatever whatever you want to talk about people's
eyes would just glaze over in the team room and
i'm like all right well you guys want to go blow
some shit up like why don't we shift the topic
because you guys don't want to talk about this
i know you don't want to hear about it so in
cross training it's just You try to keep people
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Well, there's a lot of people that have a hard
time focusing on something that isn't exciting.
Oh, yeah. For whatever reason. Even if it's like
important technical details that will help you
do things that are exciting. You know, it's the
delayed gratification. Right. They're the same
type of people that don't like to do cold plunges
or don't like to do certain things that like.
You're not going to feel an immediate benefit.
It's going to suck while you're doing it, so
you put it off. You've got to have a mindset
that there's some things that suck that will
make the things that are exciting way better.
Like for comics, it's writing, like sitting down
and writing. Because a lot of comics don't want
to write. They just want to come out with ideas
through the day and then work them out on stage.
I'm like, that is great. You can do that. But
you should also write because the ideas that
come to you while you're writing, they won't
come any other way. And those are like little
gifts from the user. And you the only way you
get them is you got to sit down With a fucking
pad of paper or a computer in front of you and
come up with them you got to sit down and start
working and let the mind just Just slowly, but
surely pop them out. How often do you do that
at least four days a week for our tools? Yeah,
at least at least an hour. I try to write a thousand
words So it might be an hour. It might be two
hours. And then out of those thousand words,
I might get a paragraph. Like, there it is. That's
what I was looking for. You're basically looking
for arrowheads in a field. You know, you're picking
up a giant clump of dirt, and you're shaking
it out and washing it over, and ah, got one.
So do you try that out on anybody before you
actually? No. No, you just like, okay, this is
the concept. I'm pretty sure I got something.
When I got something, I'm pretty sure I got it,
but I don't know what it's going to be until
the audience tells me. Well, you have your own
club, so you can just try it out. That helps
a lot. You just, like, drive in. Matt's Wednesday.
Let me drive this out. But even when I didn't,
I would go to the store. I would go to the, like,
say if I have a bit and it's exciting. I'm like,
oh, I wrote something that's good. I would go
to the improv, and then I would go to the store,
and maybe I'd go to the ice house. Right. I'd
bang out a few sets, at least two in a night.
You know, you could travel around. Like, L .A.
was really good for that. Austin's amazing for
that. There's seven clubs on my street now. What?
Oh, yeah. Between my street and the neighboring
street. So you got... Us, and then right down
the street is the Sunset Room, which Red Band
owns. And then right up across from that, you've
got Creek in the Cave, which is awesome. And
then you've got the Vulcan, which is right down
the street. And there's a bunch of other small
rooms. There's the Black Rabbit. There's all
these rooms that have comedy at least three or
four nights a week. So if you're like a guy or
a girl coming up right now in Austin, you could
really work. And they're all paying. So you're
collecting $50 here. My club pays more. My club
pays the most. But all these different places.
They pay, you know, like actual money for you
to do a set. At the end of the night, you got
a few hundred bucks. You can get something to
eat. Like there's all these companies that don't
have to do the road now. Right. So like they
used to just have to do the road to pay their
rent and for food. You don't have to do that
anymore. You could like stay in town and really
build up material and then go out on the road.
Is the material going to shift? I know it's regionally
you've got to have. Year, I'm not saying like
left or right. I'm just saying does the material
have to shift based on where you're at So if
you're in LA is the crowd a little bit different
The people are gonna be more accepting less accepting
expect something a little bit different here
You can't you just like here's the joke. Yeah,
let me run it. Well, the good thing is if they're
not accepting of an idea maybe you should re
-examine that idea and maybe figure out like
why am I maybe I should figure out a better way
to make this idea acceptable you know because
there's ideas where I'll start it off and it's
just like ooh this isn't going anywhere and then
I'm like there's gotta be an angle in here and
then I'll find a whole another angle like ha
ha now I have it and then I have to find an angle
like what if I was a woman and I was watching
this and I'm looking at this fucking meathead
on stage and I'm like okay like I gotta figure
out a way to get them to understand that just
because I look like this doesn't mean I'm a bad
guy. Let me work this into your head first and
then explain it from my perspective. It's funny
because I look like this. It doesn't mean I'm
a bad guy. It's an automatic assumption. Yeah.
You know, I mean, it's an untold prejudice that
like men with muscles in particular are assholes.
Right. Like instantly. Yeah, you've got a very
definitive look. And then as soon as you open
your mouth, they're assuming that you're going
to be just the complete asshole. Right. Yeah,
I can see that. A mean person. Yeah, yeah. Covered
in tattoos. Cage fighting commentary. I know
that you can craft a joke because you've been
doing this forever. But is there a certain amount
of pleasure that you get now from... bombing
sometimes? Smoking in? Terrible. Really? I always
say bombing on stage is like sucking a thousand
dicks in front of your mother. The difference
is there's probably a guy out there that likes
sucking a thousand dicks in front of his mother.
You made me do this, mom. Come on, mom. 99! There's
a guy out there that would take some... I mean,
there's people who are into shit porn and all
kinds of other things. You're drawing the same
parallel to bombing and people are interested.
shit porn yeah if you like bombing you can you're
into people shitting in your mouth like it's
not fun you don't want people to have a bad time
they're there to have fun these people work they're
working all day they're fucking tired you want
them to have a good ass time and the only way
for them to have a good ass time is for you to
do your job right you know but it's uh It has
to sometimes not work well. And there's like
this moment when I'm about to do a new bit. I'm
like, God, I don't even want to do this. I don't
know where this goes. But I have to. You got
to trot it out there and hope that you could
find an angle. So you don't try those on with
your wife? She'd be the worst. She'd be the worst.
She'd just tear you down? She'd just stare at
me like, what is wrong with you? It's like she
and I have a very good balance because she's
so different than me She's so but has a lot of
the same values as me. Yeah, you know like discipline
and she's very smart She's interested in things
but we were very different Well, it's so funny
because but my wife and I will walk around right
and I'm a very amateur comedian to surround my
friends I try to I try really hard right? I'm
not even close I'm just like, you know, I specialize
in stupid shit that I said basically that's where
I'm going with this And she when I get her to
laugh, that's like that means way more to me
than. Oh, yeah. But my friends. Sure. I can make
them laugh like I can make my employees laugh.
I can't pay them to. But like when my wife laughs,
that means it's fucking funny. That's legit.
It means it means something. It's like it's legit.
She's like a one person crowd. Right. So we're
walking around. I was talking about. Have you
seen that Bert Kreutzer free Bert have you seen
his new series? I've only seen trailers, but
everybody that saw it loves it It's it's it's
really funny man like and so I was like we should
watch this you should check it out She watched
like five minutes. She's like this is such a
dude show. Fuck you. I'm never watching But it's
the same it's like what I want to watch and I
think is funny she's like absolutely not but
then she's wants to watch some true crime thing
around a dude that killed his wife. They love
that. They love it. Why do they love that? It's
so weird. It's like genetic that they love it,
because my kids love those shows. Really? They
love serial killer expose shows and all these
true crimes. And I don't like any of that. I
was talking to my daughter about it, and she
said, because girls don't do things like this,
so we kind of want to see what's going on in
a man's mind. that makes it such a mystery. You
know what I'm saying? Like it's such a mystery.
Like most men can imagine a scenario. where there's
a bunch of people that did some horrible shit
in a room and you just go in there and fucking
kill all of them. Most men, most men can say,
oh yeah, there's a place. There's a place. Like
if someone did something and I knew they did
something and they're in that room and they need
to go, they need to go. Most women can't think
like that. They don't think like that. It's not
inside their head. And then there's the darkness
of it. These aren't men that are doing something
to someone who deserves it. They're just doing
it to vulnerable people. They're just evil creatures
who just want to go out and hunt vulnerable people.
And I think women want to know that there are
men like that out there that are so different
than them so they can put it in their head. Like,
okay, serial killers are real. These true crime
shows have showed me this, and I want to know
what to look for. Right. That's right. Whereas
have you ever spent a second of your life in
fear or fearing a serial killer? Not really.
It's not a realistic fear, but if I was at a
truck stop and there was some fucking shady dude
that came into the bathroom after me and he was
like waiting outside, it didn't look like he
needed to use the bathroom. I'd be a hundred
percent on guard. Like there's people that will
just randomly kill people just for a thrill and
get away with it. And I think there's way more
of them getting away with it than they'd like
us to know. Like here's a good example. In Austin,
what is the actual number of people who have
bodies that have been found in – put this into
our wonderful sponsor Perplexity before it becomes
the digital god that takes over the universe,
this AI. What are the numbers of people that
have been found drowned in Lady Bird Lake over
the last three years? It's something crazy. Is
it really? Yeah, it's like 30. I thought this
was just a funny joke for Tony to talk about.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like a real
thing. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's real. Right.
It's real. So the cops don't want to say it's
a serial killer. They think it's because it's
over by Rainy Street. A lot of people are partying.
But the bodies keep piling up. 38. What? And
they want to say it's not a serial killer? Since
2022, data showing at least 38 bodies found in
or around Lady Bird Lake. Separate map -based
analysis of Lady Bird Lake, deaths, downtown
area reports, four deaths in 2022, five in 2023,
five in 2024, two in 2025. So this is... In the
downtown area, these map numbers focus on a specific
stretch of the lake, while the 38 body figures
covers all bodies found in or around the lake
in that period. These might be right near that
bar area on Rainy Street. Right, right on Rainy
Street, yeah. Or other parts of the lake. So
they're basically saying these guys get drunk
and they end up passing out in the water. I mean,
all you would have to do is get someone drunk
enough where you could hold them underwater.
Yeah. It's not, I mean, if you were a guy who
wasn't drinking or you had a really good tolerance
or you're a big person. No evidence of serial
murder. Says the patterns match typical accidental
drowning risks. Young adult men, nightlife, easy
water access. Or some guy was drowning gay guys.
Could be. Because a lot of them are gay. Like
a giant percentage of these guys are gay. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Because it's near a gay area. Oh,
okay. Rainy Street is like the party area where
there's a lot of gay bars. Got it. That's why
it's such a funny joke for Tony. Yeah. Well,
it's a weird thing, man. It's a weird thing because
at what point in time does someone have to get
caught before they say, oh, Jesus, these weren't
just a coincidence. Someone was drowning people.
Because I don't think it was a common thing.
I think like, you know, you maybe get one a year,
some fucking drunk hops off a boat and doesn't
know what he's doing and drowns. That does happen.
But this is not that. This is way more. 38 bodies
in a few years is kind of kooky. Well, and how
many of those, if you think about it, right,
how many serial killers are out there? Because
FBI, obviously, they've done the analysis on
it. There's probably like 100, 200, 300 active
serial killers at any point in time. Always.
There's always, yeah. Always has been. And most
of them will all say, yeah, I wanted to get caught.
Or, yeah, it took you long enough. I was getting
sloppy. My murder lust took over. There was 200
since 2004. Oh, my gosh. What? Oh, my God. Autopsy
report found alcohol present in a large share
of the cases, sometimes at levels above the legal
driving limit, which is not much. By the way,
the legal driving limit is like two drinks. And
police specifically describe most rainy street
area drownings as alcohol or drug related. I've
heard people getting, you know, dosed. They get
like roofied and whatnot. And they're like, I've
heard a lot, too many cases. Never in a city
have I lived I've heard that many people saying
they've been roofied. Yeah. No, I think it's,
I don't think it's specific to here. I think
it's everywhere. It's GHB, I think, is a lot
of it. People are dosing people up with GHB.
That's a big one. How many serial killers are
there? Yeah. How many active serial killers do
they estimate are in America right now? Let's
guess. I'm going to say 10. You think 10? Yeah.
I think 100. Whoa. Yeah. I'm going 100. This
is like a Wheel of Fortune type scenario. Yeah,
man. Holy shit. 100's nuts. If it's 100. I think
it's 100. That's crazy. 300. Huh? 25 to 50 at
any given time. Wow. Range reflects killers who
have committed at least two murders with a cooling
off period and are still operating undetected.
I like the cooling off period. Maybe I need to
take a break. Scrubbing the fucking blood out
of the inside of your fingernails. Serial killings
make up less than 1 % of U .S. homicides overall.
Numbers peaked at around 300 in the 1970s and
1980s. There was 300 active serial killers in
the 70s and the 80s? I bet that was because that
was when there was like Son of Sam. Was it trendy?
Yeah. I think it was probably a lot of bored
dudes who just didn't like working in an office.
It's like Ted Bundy and Son of Sam. All those
guys were like the Green River. All over the
news. All over the news. Yeah. It was huge. Why
are there fewer serial killers now than there
used to be? What was the answer? That's probably
just because it's easier to get caught now. People
are probably more afraid to try. Yeah, because
you think about all the technology and the surveillance.
Like, you get rolled up. Yeah. I think the creepiest
one was that dude who studied serial killers
in college and then went and killed those girls
at that dorm house. You know that story? What
was that in Seattle? I think it was Bundy. Yeah,
it was Ted Bundy, right? No, no, no, a recent
one. Oh, it was recent. Recent, yeah. He knew
the people that lived there. He studied, what
did he study exactly in college? Like he was
studying it like he was trying to learn how to
not get caught. Oh. Yeah, this guy, this fucking
creep. Whoa. Horrific new details about the final
moments of the four University of Idaho stabbing
victims. Oh, gosh. So that's where I'm to school.
That's University of Idaho. He stabbed the four
victims at least 150 times in total. I didn't
realize that was like the case from Moscow. Yeah.
That's crazy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. This sick fuck.
So this guy, he was studying it in college. So
I forget what criminal justice. Let's see if
we could find out but it was very clear that
he had been planning this a long time and there
was also a Possible connection to him and some
murders from the Pacific Northwest that they
he knew the people People died in a kind of a
similar way. He might have gotten away with it
up there, right? So he tried it up there and
then went to Idaho Oh my gosh, well that makes
sense it does yeah, so he's He's educating himself
on how to get away with it. He was that guy that
if you had your comms class, he'd be sitting
there like this. He's like way into it. Yeah,
way into it. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, he wanted
to know all the details. Pacific Northwest is
like, that's a spot. These guys love it up there.
I don't know if it's like the rain, you know?
Well, we had a lady that was connecting it. She
came on the podcast and she was connecting a
bunch of serial killers from a very specific
area that did a lot of, it was mining, right?
Wasn't it mining in the industrial pollution?
Oh, so it was like increased lead or something,
right, in the water or something? What was the
processing of it? What are those when they're
burning it? Yeah. What's that called? Leaching?
Yeah, it was lead. But it was other stuff. It
was other stuff like there's arsenic in it and
there's a lot of shit. But what am I looking
for? Why can't I come up with that term? The
plants where they burn all the shit. Power plants.
What's the term? God damn it. Caroline Frazier
was her name though. I don't know. What's her
name? Caroline Frazier. Maybe Paul would know
if he got stamets on here and he could talk about
the mushroom or the fungi in the Pacific Northwest.
Maybe it has something to do with it. I don't
think so. I think that'll probably stop him from
doing it. But her take was that there was all
these places. What is the term I'm looking for
where they incinerate shit like a power plant,
like a coal plant? There's a term. I can't remember
what it is. Anyway, they're releasing. incredible
amount of toxins in the atmosphere. And a lot
of the shit is coming down in rain. It's getting
in the ground. All the ground around there is
all polluted. Everything's polluted. And so what
her take is that all these people have suffered
chemical pollution. And a lot of that chemical
pollution leads to all sorts of weird psychological
disorders and psychosis and all kinds of shit,
depending upon the levels of exposure. So this
is why you have an increased... serial killers
in the Pacific Northwest. This is interesting.
Yeah, there was a bunch of power plants up there.
Interesting. Coal plants and smelting and, you
know, just a lot of mining. There's a lot of
mineral -rich resources up there. So I should
be concerned because I spent the most of my life
up there. Well, half of it at least. Yeah. It
depends. I think now they've cleaned it up though.
Like she was connecting it to a long time ago,
but there's areas back there where she was saying
that they do an analysis of the soil and it's
just completely fucked. How long has it been
since you've done like Seattle? Oh, I haven't
been back in a while. I did. The Tacoma Dome
with Dave Chappelle. We did that right before
the pandemic popped. Oh, OK. And I really haven't
been back. It's just like once that whole Chaz
thing went down and they locked off the block
and the mayor said, maybe it's the summer of
love. Or maybe you've got some fucking crazy
people that you've empowered to take over a giant
swath of your city and you're cool with it. And
you're the fucking mayor. And by the way, she.
is an upgrade compared to their current mayor.
The current mayor is, that choice is insane.
Woman who's never held a real job. She's been
living with her parents. She's 40. They pay her
bills. She's a socialist. She rides a bike. She
doesn't even own a car. And now she's in charge
of what? A $7 billion budget? That makes sense.
Yeah. Two thumbs up, Seattle. Congratulations.
You've done a great job. I don't know where those
places go. Those places that have gone like full
into Wokeville, like a buddy of mine just went
to Portland and he was like, bro, it's bananas.
It's like a complete mental asylum, like spilled
out onto the streets. Not just the campers, not
just the open air drug. Users everywhere because
for a long time they decriminalized everything
in Portland So everybody ramped it up a notch
and moved to Portland because that was a place
where you could do drugs and not worry about
anything But he was like all the regular people
are cracked the place like Spending as much time
as I have in Seattle, which I used to live there.
I loved that city late 90s loved it Oh, it's
amazing. Great. It was one of my favorite places
such a cool spot cool people and then you saw
this flip And it was right around 2010 is when
things really flipped over. And to your point,
they had your car was your domicile, so you couldn't
get a parking ticket. So you could basically
live in front of somebody's house in a parking
spot, and they couldn't write a parking ticket.
That started in 2010? Give or take a couple years.
And so I went back to my, I had a house up there
for a while. And the week, the day I decided
that I was going to sell this place, like we
fly up there. I've got my daughter. She's like
a year old. My wife and I are walking down the
street. And this is a part of the city. It's
called Ballard, which is beautiful part of the
city. Tons of like old bars. Awesome place back
late 90s, early 2000. But then there was a camper
in front of my condo. And then there was a naked
man with a tennis racket. My daughter's a year
old, his dick's flying around, and my one -year
-old's, like, I'm holding her, like, walking
away from the other end. He's got a tennis racket.
He's, like, planting a U .S. Open in his head,
whatever he's doing. And then on the corner,
no less than 50 feet away, there was a half -naked
lady, like, taking a shit. And you're like, nah,
time to leave. I think this is, I think we're
all good here. We had an issue like that in California
for a while. Oh, yeah. Where when the economy
started to go south, now this is pre -pandemic
as well, we started having these campers camp
out right in front of our studio. And they would,
the studio where we had in LA, even in that place,
it was the warehouse. We had a big lawn in front
of the warehouse. And these guys would spread
out. on the lawn so they would park their camper
there and then they would like cook out and they
would lay out and so like you're in this bill
you're asking people to walk past these people
to go do your podcast in this big ass warehouse
that i had leased And I was like, why are you
doing this? Like, you can't be doing this. You
can't just use my lawn as your front yard. Like,
this is crazy. I mean, spread out, dude. They
had shit laying out there. There's nothing you
can do. Well, there was. Oh, really? Yeah, we
contacted the police. And the police, eventually,
they realized this is not a good thing. And they
moved them all. But they moved them to different
parts of town. And so then you would drive to,
like, the more industrial areas of town that
didn't. Like, our place was, like, semi -industrial.
There was a bunch of warehouses. But there was
also. So a bunch of like foot traffic businesses,
restaurants and stuff like that. And so they
moved them out of there. But if you go into the
deeper industrial places where they have factories
and stuff, they were there. Like whole blocks
of them where you just have campers laying out
and just open meth smoking. These people are
just full on meth heads that had just started
a community of. fellow meth enthusiasts with
campers and a lot of their campers didn't even
run they could just get it to the spot wherever
it was and then they would steal power you know
every now and then the dude would die because
he didn't know how to do the wires right and
he'd get cooked yeah that's right it's it's the
same where we're at in salt lake i'd have full
-time security out in front of them Like literally
in front of the building. Our concern was when
we left. It was like if we left at night and
someone broke in, it would take fucking forever
for cops to show up and do something about it.
And so I was like, you just can't have these
guys knowing that like famous people and, you
know, high profile people are going to be at
that spot. And you've got like open meth smoking
right in front of the place. Like this is too
crazy. They're too unpredictable. You know, look,
I don't care if you live in your truck. It's
probably cool. If you're a guy who's like you've
checked out of society essentially and you just
like playing pickleball all day and you live
in a camper. Who cares? Go and do that. But once
you start engaging in meth smoking and then it's
always theft. Theft comes with meth smoking.
And there's a lot of break -ins in the area.
And it got to the point where the cops had to
do something. So credit to them that they did.
It's almost a difference between hashtag van
life and hashtag meth life. Yeah. There's a big
difference. Right. Van life is like you want
to be a guy who's not. saddled down to one particular
spot. You have a place that's in this van that
has a bed. You have a little tiny kitchen area.
You have a little portable fridge. It's all you
need. I don't need a fucking house. Just travel
around. It's probably fun. The freedom of it,
you know? Like Alex Honnold, that crazy dude
that just climbed that tower in Chinese Taipei,
he used to live like that for a long time. He
had a big van. He would park it in his friend's
driveway sometimes, and he would just travel
to trailheads and live out of his van. That's
like the minimalist attraction, right, where
you're like, I don't have anything other than
what's in my van or on my back. Life is simple.
I don't have to organize anything. I can stay
focused. I think that's a it's an interesting
thought exercise, especially when you're younger.
Like, OK, cool. I can wrap my head around that.
Yeah. And it's completely respectable. A lot
of these hippies shouldn't say that in the context
of like hippie dance around the flowers in my
hair. A lot of these climber crunchy guys, they
are hard committed, like bad mofos. Oh, yeah.
When they're living on dog food, like there's
this great story about the founder of Patagonia
where he went to the store. He was climbing El
Cap. And I'm trying to recall a story from Outside
Magazine from, you know, 20 years ago. But in
general circumstance, it's what it is. Where
he went to the store. He's going to be climbing
El Cap for months. And he's just working on a
specific route. And he went to the store to buy
food. He only had... 100 bucks or whatever it
was. And dog food was less expensive. And he
was like, meh, I can live on that. And he bought
dog food and lived on dog food. And yeah, so
he could climb and stay out there longer. I wonder
what his farts were like. Bro, you wouldn't want
to be behind that on this route, right? You would
not want to be climbing behind that guy. I'll
tell you that. Because I stopped giving my dog
regular dog food a long time ago. But when he
was younger, all my dogs, I would just buy the
most expensive dry dog food. Oh, this stuff is
good. And then somewhere along the line, it clicked.
I was like, wait, how can it sit there? How can
it just sit in that bag for a month? That's crazy.
How can it sit on the shelf for years? That's
nuts. That can't be good for you. And then I
started feeding them frozen food. And then they
like that. But then I switched to farmer's dog,
which is human grade food, which is lightly cooked.
They fucking love it. That stuff I would eat.
Like you smell it. It smells like food. It doesn't
smell disgusting. But regular dog food is fucking
terrible for a dog. It's not good for them. So
if you have to eat that stuff, that kibble stuff,
and you're going to travel around, your gut must
be going like, what are you doing? What kind
of chemicals are in here? What kind of preservatives?
They're just nuking your gut bio. The level,
but I love the level of commitment. I love when
people drift over into like crazy. To where their
level of commitment and their passion translates
directly into nothing else exists in their life.
They're willing to live on dog food to do the
thing that they love. Fun. That to me is like,
you're an extremist and I respect it. You know
what? No, I can respect that. Do you ever see
the movie Dirtbag? No. Pull up that movie Dirtbag.
It's a great movie. It's about a guy who essentially
did that. until he was dead. This guy just camped
out on the ground in front of his friends' houses,
most of the time didn't have a car, just would
just climb. That's all he did. He was always
mooching off people. And he had very detailed...
What was the dude's name? Fred Becky. Fred Becky.
The dude's a legend. So he had been doing this
from the 1950s. He was an old -ass man. Look
at this guy. Look at the gnarled hands. Look
at his fucking hands. From just climbing. Imagine
if that guy got a hold of your dick. He'd just
rip it right off. Do you know who Mark Twight
is? No. Okay, so Mark Twight, he was one of the
foremost names in alpineering. He's written several
books on it. He wrote a book called Kiss or Kill,
Confessions of a Serial Climber back in the day.
Very, very similar in the context of, I would
imagine, the psychological makeup. And he started
a gym called Jim Jones back in the day. And like,
it was where a bunch of people you had, it was
invite only. So you could only get invited. And
it was like a lot of special operations guys,
CIA guys, and professional climbers. Like everybody
that was trying to push the envelope physically
would go out and train with Mark. And I've been
friends with him for years, but anything Mark
does, he moves from like, i'm gonna be the best
climber like alpineering i'm gonna be the subject
matter expert he was a professional uh he shot
ipsych for a while so he's a professional you
know pistol shooter for a while he's a professional
climber and now he's a photographer writer but
everything he does he does it to a level of perfection
that it probably drives everybody else in his
life bananas like he's fascinating he's a fascinating
human those people that go really to the outer
level of whatever's possible with whatever the
fuck they're doing are always fascinating. Yeah.
Because it makes you go, I don't know. Like,
what is the sacrifice to get really good at rock
climbing? You never have kids. You never have
a life. You never have a job. Like, this dirtbag
guy, like, everyone around him both admired him
and felt sad for him. Right. Because, like, he
died a dirtbag. He never had a family. And it's
like all his ex -girlfriends talking about how
an interesting guy he was. He was really fun.
But eventually, he had to fucking move on. Like,
this dude, all he wanted to do was, like, sleep
on the ground and get up and start climbing rocks.
His whole life. But there's, if you think about
everybody around us in their profession or their
thing, right? You're at the apex of your professional,
your profession and your level of commitment.
I'm not like boosting you up. I'm just saying
like your level of commitment is unparalleled
to a huge percentage of other people. So you
have a portion of whatever that is. And there
are all these other people that have that thing
where their pursuit of passion around that specific
profession or product, whatever it might be,
they're so committed to it that it takes over.
It's all consuming. I mean, I've seen it because
when, even when you go play pool, I'm like, when
we were in Vegas a couple of months ago, they're
like, oh, we're going to play pool and Mike come
out. He's going to be there until like six o
'clock in the morning. I'm not going to do that.
And Green Tree was like, he was, he was there
until like six o 'clock in the morning. He played
for eight hours straight. I was like, yeah, I
could see the writing on the wall. I'm, I'm out
of here. The pool is my number one problem. That's
my biggest one. Really? Yeah. That's the one
where if I. If I ever wanted to not do anything
else, I would just become a professional pool
player. If I just said, okay, I am done. I'm
done podcasting. I'm done with the UFC. I'm done
with everything. I'm just going to travel around
and do tournaments. I could go crazy. I could
go crazy and just do that 100%. Is it just the
game fascinates you, the angles, the ability
to just continue to evolve? within that all the
time you can't ever be the best you definitely
never achieve full perfection but to be really
good requires this level of laser focus and concentration
and an understanding of what's going on i mean
you're taking a stick and you're hitting a ball
into another ball with pinpoint accuracy into
a pocket that is on my table it's four and a
quarter inches so you've got the cube the ball
the object ball which is about that big and then
you got that much space on each side just a tiny
little space on each side you got to slip it
through there oftentimes like eight feet away
seven feet away six feet away with english so
you're putting spin on the cue ball which imparts
a throw on the object ball so if i put right
hand spin on the cue ball and I hit the object
ball, I have to calculate for the fact that it's
going to throw the object ball slightly to the
left because of the right -hand spin, because
it clings to the ball a little bit and shoots.
So all this is playing in my head. And then I
have to have it at a speed where once the cue
ball then collides with the object ball, pockets
it, then it's got to go one, two, three rails
for perfect position on the next ball. And I
have to have an angle. I have to make sure that
I have an angle for the following ball. And you
don't want to be... Trapped on the rail, so you
want to be off the rail. It's like all these
different things. You can't think about anything
else. Your mind has to be clean. It cleans your
mind. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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in. So if you've gotten, I'm sure you have, like
professional. Coaching players. Yeah guys have
come out like the best in the world have come
out and played with you Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. How do you hold up? Like what's your I
can never beat them, right? But I beat them some
games I can break and run out so I break and
run out one two games in a row sometimes and
but they'll make so like if you have like a score
of Accuracy, it's called like a Fargo rating.
It's based on a thousand points as you never
miss I am in like the 700, on a good day, 750
range. But a real world class pro is in the 800
plus range. Like Fedor Gors is probably like
850. Joshua Filler is probably like a little
higher than that. They get into this rate where
they so rarely miss. And again, they're playing
on four inch pockets, which is like a quarter
inch smaller than the pockets I'm playing on.
Although they are playing on new cloth, which
helps a lot. Makes things more slippery. They
fall in more, more worn out cloth. Like when
it's broken in for a couple of weeks, it gets
tougher. Really? Yeah. Yeah. The cloth gets a
little less slick and you got to hit a ball a
little bit more pure, but on the plus side, English
takes better. So when you play with these guys,
is it one of those things where they like instantly
humble you in the context of you start feeling,
I'm really confident in my game. And then you.
Step in. No, not really. No, there's not that
big of a delta between there's a gap There's
definitely a gap. I mean, they're just way better
than me, but it's a lot of it It's just time
they spend eight hours a day playing every day
if I spent eight hours a day playing every day
I think I could play at a professional level
I wouldn't be able to beat the best guys. I would
never be able to beat the coping chungs and the
guys that are at the very top top because those
guys have been playing eight hours a day for
decades. They never stop. What's a guy like that
make? Now more than ever. Really? Yeah, because
of Matchroom Pool. So Matchroom, the same company
that Eddie Hearn owns that does a lot of boxing
promotions, they're involved in a lot of sports.
They've done an amazing job with pool, specifically
with nine ball. And they put on these huge tournaments.
Saudi Arabia has a big one every year. They have
this big world championship where they pay a
ton of money. And so... You know, a good player,
like a top -of -the -heat player, is making half
a million dollars plus a year. Okay. And then
also endorsements. So they have endorsements.
Companies like Predator Q's pay them. Q -Tech
and all these different companies pay them X
amount of dollars per year. They have a sponsor
for the chalk they use. They have a sponsor for
the tips they play with. All these different
things. All that adds up. So what's the difference
then between, what is it, Snooker? Is that the
English? That's a totally different game. It's
totally different. It's a big table. It's a 12
by 6 as opposed to a 4 .5 by 9. So it's a much
bigger table. But the balls are smaller as well.
And then their cues have these tiny little tips
on them. They all play with ash cues, which is
like a very stiff wood. And they play with like
a solid wood cue. Whereas a lot of like pro pool
players have switched to carbon fiber now. They
play with carbon fiber cues because it's a little
bit more dense, so it moves the ball. differently.
Is it fun? Have you played it? Snooker? Yeah,
I played it when I was in Scotland a little bit,
but I only played by myself. There was just a
table and I was just whacking balls around. It's
very difficult to pocket balls, but I don't even
really understand the rules. I would have to
really pay attention. I watch it a little bit
sometimes because I know how hard it is to do
what they're doing because you do have this enormous
table. Their cloth is a lot slower too. It's
not as slick of a cloth. So it's got to be older
then. Oh, it's old. Snooker's old. So the original
billiards game had no pockets. The original billiards
game was three cushion billiards or bulk line.
There's a bunch of different billiards games
where you play on a table. Say it was like this
table. There's no pockets in it, and there's
just rubber rails all around it. And it's all
about knocking one ball into the other ball,
going three rails, and then colliding with the
third ball. Huh. Yeah, it's just about scoring
points. I've watched a bunch of that online too
because it helps you understand angles as you
go into a rail because the angles change depending
upon how much English you put on it, how hard
you hit it, whether you hit it with follow or
draw. There's a bunch of different parts of the
cue ball that you can contact with that radically
changes the way the ball moves around on the
table. So it's like you're calculating so many
different things. There's geometry involved.
There's touch and feel. There's all these factors
that come into play when you're playing really
well. So that explains why archery is also somewhat
of a fascination then because you have very similar
aspects to archery and pool that directly translate.
That's like why those things snap together real
well for you. Oh, for me, they're hand in hand.
They're basically the same thing. It's basically
the same thing. You're just doing it in a different
way. You know, you're, it's the same thing. It's
like having everything just flowing together
perfectly after like years and years and years
of meticulous practice. And then it starts to
come together. And then you pull that group out.
It's nice and tight, like 65 yards. Like, yeah.
You got it dialed in. It's that feeling. And
it's the same thing. It's the world goes away.
There is no room for anything when you're about
to pull that trigger. Whether it's in pool when
you're about to make the shot or whether it's
an archery, there's no room for anything. That's
what I like about it. I also like that there's
no bullshit. There's no shenanigans. There's
no personality. Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
Did the ball go in the hole? If it didn't, you
lose. If it did, you win. It's really clean.
I like that. Yeah, that's the thing I love about
shooting just in general. If I'm hitting a target,
it doesn't matter. I took my kids to the arcade
the other day in a ski ball. Oh, yeah. I can
like spend an hour on that thing. Just like just
trying to get the perfect lob in there. And it's
it's like I used to tell people, I'm like, I'm
just a projectile enthusiast where I love hitting
center mass of whatever target. I'm still a six
year old kid with my BB gun. It's like at the
end of the day. Now my tools are. you know, much
more advanced and I've got, you know, the millions
of dollars of government funded training behind
me. So I'm a little bit more effective at hitting
what I want to shoot at, but it still has the
same, the same exact feeling. Like if you're
six years old, hitting a pop can with your BB
gun or ringing a piece of steel at a mile with
a rifle or hitting a, you know, the heart of
a foam elk in your backyard, it's the same dude.
It translates and it like pulls you into something
that's like, Pure, I guess. It is pure. And it's
also a really good mind exercise. Just like,
you know, when you work out, you're cleaning
your mind. There's a lot of what working out
is. It's not just physical. It's mental clarity.
You relax the mind. You calm the mind through
hard exercise. And there's something where you're
calming your mind through shooting because it
requires so much of you. Everything else just
gets get the fuck out of the way. Bills, this,
that, you know, oh, I got to call that guy. I
don't want to call him. Fuck, I got to deal with
this thing. Oh, that's falling apart. This deal
sucks. It all goes away. It has to go away. If
it doesn't go away, you miss. And then you go,
fuck, why did I miss? You miss because you're
distracted. Like, let's focus. Put the fucking
arrow on the knock. You know, put it in there.
Draw it back. Center it. Calm. Relax. At that
moment. Like, at that moment, there is nothing
else in your fucking head. There's nothing. And
then, thwack. And it goes in there. You get this
nice burst of happiness when you watch that fucking
arrow just drop right in exactly where you want
it to. And then you go and pull the arrows and
you go right back and start it again. And at
the end of that practice, I feel way better.
I just always feel better. I always feel clearer.
My head works better. It's a focused exercise
which excites all your synapses. And then on
top of that, it's a mental clearing thing. Like
Fred Berry should talk about that. Like something
about, I forget the quote, but it's something
about there's nothing like shooting a bow that
clears a man's mind. It's totally true. There's
something about archery in particular that just
cleans your mind. Yeah, I 100 % agree. I used
to have this trad bow. That's how I started.
Have I told you this story? Like, so I'd stuff.
The old coffee bags, the burlap coffee bags,
I'd stuff them up and fill them up. And then
I started shooting a trad bow originally. Well,
the roasting cycle takes about eight and a half
minutes. So I couldn't really do anything. I'm
like watching the, you know, coffee roast, which
is just tumbling in a big dryer. And so I'd just
shoot a trad bow in the back to just focus something
other than the business, you know, family, whatever
it is. I could just shoot my trad bow. And then
Dudley was like. Why do you shoot that thing?
It's so stupid. Don't you like to hit what you
shoot at? I'm like, I'm just doing it for fun,
man. Like, you know, I'm a happy -go -lucky guy.
I just want to like active form of meditation.
But what I did realize was it was such a pure,
to your point, it would flush out all this negative
shit that I was like either working through or
dealing with. That's like, so being able to translate
that to other people, especially veterans, huge.
Huge transformation for guys because they can
go out. It's quiet It's a subculture. They can
be part of they can geek out on all the new gear
and arrowheads you wade into the infinite never
-ending debate around bullshit around cutting
surface area fucking you know mass and velocity
and like You'll never get tired because it's
like full of its own little drama and it's like
a bunch of nerd shit that you can actually have
a lot of fun with. So much nerd shit. That's
what people don't understand. You know, and they
don't expect nerd shit, like real complicated
technical nerd shit from archery. You don't think
of it that way. But it's like many things. Like
once you get into it, you realize like, oh, this
is a learning curve to this motherfucker. There's
a lot involved. Like whenever one of my friends
is like, I want to go bow hunting. I'm like.
Do you really? Are you sure? Like, don't tell
me you do. Like, it's not that you got to dive
in off of a cliff. This is not like I'm going
to go dip my waters into bow hunting. I want
to go shoot an elk. Like, Jesus Christ, do you
know how hard that is to do? You got fucking,
there's so many moving parts. There's so many
things. You have to be proficient under extreme
stress. There's so much going on there, man.
Don't tell me you want to do that unless you,
you got to show me. Before I get involved. Take
me bow hunting. That's not happening. You are
not going to be stomping on twigs near me and
you're not going to be going, you're not going
to be not checking the wind. All these things
are not going to happen. Well, they, they like
the idea, right? Like they like, and there's
plenty of people. They're like, they're, they're,
they're window shoppers in this activity, right?
They're like. they're walking by and they're
like that looks cool right but they don't like
the realities of what it actually takes because
it's so fucking hard and it like ruins you a
lot of times like i mean in the last few years
we've done enough together like dude i've been
psychologically ruined by like shooting something
or making a bad shot or like just devastating
missing like yeah it's like you can't figure
out why you missed No, and then you're running
through it a thousand times, like, what did I
do? Okay, how do I do better? And then you're
like, okay. But you're the kind of guy that does
that, that does the process in your head and
then improves and keeps getting better. For some
people, that will ruin their life. Like, the
one bad thing that happens will ruin their fucking
life. Because they spent all these months preparing.
They paid for a tag. They hired an outfitter.
And then, foink, dunk the shot. Fucking ruined
their whole week. And then they go back home.
How'd your hunt go? Oh, I missed. You know, like.
Or I wounded it. And it's a lesson in life. You
can work harder than you've ever worked. And
still fail. And still fail. Yeah. You can work
for a decade of your life. You can shoot and
shoot and train and train. And you can put in
all the work and still fuck it up. And there's
guys who, in the same situation as you, would
succeed. Yeah. So you've got to figure out what
are they doing different, why are they better.
Keep in and keep getting better. Like there's
hunts that I've been successful on recently,
you know, within the last few years that I know
that if I had that same hunt eight, nine years
ago, I probably would have not been able to make
that shot. Right. I'm not, I wasn't as good then.
So I've gotten better. It's like, I think everybody
needs something that you can't master, that is
hard to do, that, that cleans your mind. I think
people need stuff to clean their mind. And I
think that's why so many people are running around
all fucked up. Because you're looking at social
media all day. So that gives you anxiety. Your
life is not satisfying. So that gives you anxiety.
You don't take care of your body. So that gives
you anxiety. You have all these things. And you're
stuck in traffic. That gives you anxiety. Everybody's
just. They're mentally all fucked up. And so
you go to a doctor and the doctor says, well,
you know, obviously you're dealing with depression
and I can prescribe to you this or that. And
then you're on Lexapro or whatever the fuck you're
on. And that's the road they go down. And this
is a bad road. It's not a road where you can
improve your life. And there's other ways to
do it. And I think there'd be a lot more happy
people in this world if you found a thing. It
doesn't have to be archery. It doesn't have to
be pool. It doesn't have to be jujitsu. It doesn't
have to be. Pistol shooting. It just has to be
something that's hard to do that you are on this
quest to make these incremental improvements.
And through that focus of incremental improvements,
you improve your human potential. You improve
your ability as a person to do difficult and
to handle situations. So I always tell people,
if you do jujitsu, you'll be much happier because
the stresses of life. are nothing compared to
a dude who's trying to literally break your arm.
He's on top of you, and you're defending, and
then you get out of it, and then you get him,
or he gets you, and then you have to tap, and
you go over again. That is so hard to do that
regular life becomes like a breeze. It becomes
a breeze. It makes everything. Jiu -jitsu people
are some of the most relaxed people I've ever
been around in my life. They're all friendly
to everybody. They're never talking shit or causing
drama or problems. They get it all out. I think
there's something about getting the shit kicked
out of yourself too, right? Oh, yeah. There's
something about facing someone, which I don't
do jiu -jitsu just as a caveat to that, but being
able to face another person in any scenario and
then compete against them. Yeah. So where everything
counts and then literally just getting the shit
beat out of yourself and going, okay, well, I'm
going to step back up. I'm going to do it again.
Yeah, and get better. That level of teaching
yourself mental endurance, that is the thing
that I constantly think about my kids. I'm like,
how do I be compassionate, caring, loving the
dad that wants to give them everything? And then
how do you translate that into also creating
obstacles that will drive mental courage? I think
you do it by example. I think that's the best
way. My opinion is, like, if you look at Cam
Haynes' sons, I mean, he was rough raising his
kids. He talks about that. But those kids are
exceptional. They're fucking exceptional. One
son's a ranger. The other son broke the world
chin -up record, and he runs marathons with jeans
on. He's fucking got two savage kids. And why?
Well, look at the environment they grew up in.
They grew up with a dad who's supremely disciplined.
And just by being in his presence, you realize,
like, oh, I can achieve a lot more than other
people can if I'm just willing to put in that
work. and for a lot of people that's that feeling
That feeling of like this, the anxiety of the
struggle and of grinding it out and like that
scares them and they don't want to do it. And
so they come up and excuses or they retreat into
other things and, you know, they distract themselves.
And if you're a parent that does that, you create
a weird environment for your child because your
child is sort of imitating you as a leader. And
you're a fuck up and you're always making excuses
and you get fired a lot or you sleep in a lot
or you do things. that like are not admirable
and then that child you know Bob fuck life man
you know where's You know, his kids are probably
like, Jesus Christ, dad's a fucking animal. Like,
I want to be an animal, too. And then you see
how people respect his father. And they go, oh,
okay, I want people to respect me like that,
too. You know, you hear what people talk about
him when he's not around. Like, well, I want
people to respect me. Well, there's only one
way to do that. You have to be worthy of respect.
There's only one way to get there. It's a fucking
long road. Good luck. Start going. And you're
not going to get any satisfaction for a long
-ass fucking time other than the fact. that you're
on the path that you're on you're involved in
the process and you're on the journey yeah the
grind right and it's like it's overused but the
level of endurance like in courage when it's
like that trade alone just trying to understand
courage like who has it who doesn't have it and
then the level of commitment to a mission or
something bigger than yourself it's it's, it's
the thing that I think about, uh, I'd say a huge
percentage of, of the last several years, especially,
you know, as I get a little bit older, right,
a little bit further away from the GWAT. And
I was with, um, uh, I'm doing a documentary on,
um, Earl Plumlee, you know, that is, um, so he's
a Medal of Honor recipient, former Green Beret.
We are at the UFC fight with, um, Elliot Miller
and Earl Plumlee early. Earl Plumlee is a, Incredibly
humble guy. Just an amazing human. You can sit
here and talk to him. You'd never in a million
years know that this guy had earned the Medal
of Honor. Never. Because one, he's never going
to tell you. Two, he's going to ask you a hundred
questions about you and be way more fascinated
with that. And three, we were having this conversation.
He's like, man, it belongs to the guys. I didn't
do anything. Like it belongs to the guys. Like
the guys, any of the guys, if they wouldn't have
been shot, would have done the same exact thing
that I did. And I was like, man, that is an incredible
statement from, you know, a guy that's sitting
here. And so this documentary follows his path
from joining the Marine Corps, which was literally
where the judge, you know, those old stories
of the guy that was like forced by the judge
to join the military or jail. He literally has
that. And it starts, he goes into, You know,
the Marines, and then he's a force recon Marine,
and he had gone through all the selections, and
then he got out of the Marine Corps, joined the
Army, and we follow his story through the eyes
of his peers and his leaders. Because we wanted
to see from his perspective, what do other people
say about him through his entire journey? Not
the story from his perspective. One, he'll never
tell it the way that it probably needs to be
told. What were the choices that he made throughout
his professional life that made the man that
was capable of such an incredible act of courage
that it warranted the highest medal literally
earned in the United States military? And that
single word, courage, how do you build courageous
people, is a fascinating, it's quite literally
such a fascinating subject. And most of it is,
it's the man in the arena, right? It's a poem
from Teddy Roosevelt. It's like, it's not the
critic who counts. It's like keeping up, stepping
back in, this commitment to something greater
than yourself, and then making these thousands
of choices in your life every day as you wake
up, step forward, step back into the fray, and
make the active decision to be better. And it's
like... It's it's such a fucking fundamental
thing of being able to any any part of your life
If you don't get up in the morning and like commit
yourself to something. I'm not motivational speaker,
but it's How are you ever gonna get better if
you're not committing to something like being
a better dad or better husband or better? you
know better at your profession and then committing
to this evolutionary process takes a not only
a huge amount of commitment, but mental and physical
endurance. It does. And I'm, I'm never going
to get tired of trying to figure this out because
obviously it's, it's like my peer set. I was
having this conversation with, um, Jack Carr
and I ran into the airport. Uh, we ran into each
other at the airport and the way down here and
we were talking about fucking love that guy.
Fucking such a good dude. And And it's not just
in the military, right? It's not. It's just...
Yeah, in all of life. All of life. Yeah, you
find exceptional people in all of life and you
can... They're fuel. Those people are fuel. And
they enhance the lives of the people around them.
And then if you become one of those guys, you
enhance the lives of the people around you. And
then you feed off of them and they feed off of
you. And everybody feeds off of each other. And
it's so good for you to know that people like
that are out there. That there's a guy like that
capable of incredible courage. And that how did
he get there? What did he do? How did he become
the man he is right now? God damn, that's an
admirable man. So how do you, how do I get there?
Yeah. It's in, there's all these stories. I like
Jack and I were talking about, um, cause you
know, the Navy SEALs, obviously they've got a
lot of positive PR over the last several years,
but this, this special operations community has
got so much just. I don't know, airtime, right?
But there are all these other people in the military
throughout, you know, generations of warfighters
that have gone out and done these incredibly
hard jobs. And I found this story of the Parchee,
which is the USS Parchee, which is the most decorated
submarine and ship in Navy history. They have
nine presidential citations. It's the most decorated
group of men in the US Navy, like in modern history,
and everything they've done is still classified.
Whoa. It's a Cold War era nuclear submarine that
was modified and ultimately tasked out by the
CIA to go out and do collection. And they were
the guys that hundreds of feet down, they would
land on the bottom of the ocean. And the Soviets
had these military communication lines that were
basically hard lines that would go under a bay
so they could communicate back and forth. And
they felt like they were secure. One of their
jobs, which is I've never been able to see anything,
you know, declassified. But the stories that
are out there, these guys would land on the bottom
of the ocean, send out divers at hundreds of
feet. And these guys would hook listening devices
on those lines hundreds of feet down, like in
cold, dark water. Can you imagine, dude? Like
you're out. In 400 feet or 300 feet of water,
pitch black, you can't see anything. And your
job is to go and put a listening device on a
Soviet communication line in 1986 or whatever
it was. And you're in enemy territory. So if
you get discovered, you're dead. And none of
these guys, that's the incredible thing, none
of these guys have ever said anything about it.
Decades, and not only decades of missions. months
away from home none of these guys have said a
fucking thing they've not been on a podcast they've
not written any books and the only thing they
say is yeah we did a lot of incredible shit still
can't talk about it unbelievable man yeah i've
been able to see i can go out and do shit and
like you still have the ability to see i can't
imagine being in like 300 feet of water pitch
black pitch black if you if you lose a glove
Right. Or something goes wrong. How are you going
to get back to the boat? And you're going to
have to get back to the boat and then get back
into American territory without being discovered.
And more importantly, you're going to do this
how many times over the course of your career?
And does the listening device require them to
gather the information while they're at the bottom
of the ocean or does it transmit? I think it
transmits. Yeah. That's much more convenient.
It's not, it's not been declassified. So who
knows? And they don't talk about it. Wow. They
don't talk about it. That's crazy. I was talking
to, uh, Jack and I were talking about it and,
um, I was like, have you ever heard about this?
And you know, he's a retired Navy guy. He's like,
no, I've never heard about it. I'm like, that's
my point. It's an incredible story, man. Like
these guys are still buttoned up, not saying
a fucking word. They pick the right guys. They
pick the right guys. Yeah, there's guys like
that out there. Yeah. Yeah. And they don't have
to be famous either. There's a lot of people
out there. They just, they're, you know. They're
just doing the mission. Yeah. They'd come home,
not tell their families. Yeah. Their wives would
be pissed off. What are you doing? Out on the
boat with all your friends for months, just hanging
out, hot racking, you know? Yeah. Like, I can't
say anything. You have to have the right wife.
Mm -hmm. If you don't have a woman that can understand
that, that becomes a real problem. I'm sure a
lot of them ended up in divorce. Oh, yeah. Well,
you know, that was part of the Bob Lazar story.
Bob Lazar was the guy that worked at Area 51.
He couldn't tell his wife what he was doing.
And they would call him at like 10 p .m. There's
a flight for you that leaves at 1115. Be at the
airport. And he had to leave. And he would tell
his wife, I got to go to work. And she's like,
it's 11 o 'clock at night. He's like. I have
to go to work. What are you doing? He's like,
I can't talk about it. Because all his phones
were bugged. Everything was bugged. Right. So
his wife is like, this motherfucker is cheating
on me. She starts fucking her flight instructor.
And that's one of the reasons why they removed
him from his duties. Because they're like, this
guy's going to be unstable. We have to see how
he handles this. Because he's involved in this
top secret back engineering of a flying saucer
program, allegedly. And we have to, you know.
Keep an eye on this motherfucker because he can't
be mentally unstable and have this kind of responsibility.
Because he couldn't tell her. Couldn't tell her
anything. He can't tell anybody. Yeah. And then
eventually he took her to the, the, the sites
where he could, he explained to everybody when
he thought that his life was in danger and then
he was getting fired. When things started getting
sideways, like people need to know about this.
He took her out there and he showed her, but
it was, he didn't know that she was fucking some
other guy by the, by that time. That's so unfortunate.
Unfortunate. Yeah. Look at, this is what I'm
doing. I wonder if that actually, I wonder if
she's like, fuck, I shouldn't have fucked that
guy. Man, I feel bad now. I shouldn't have fucked
that guy. I used to have to do that. Cause, For
years, you know, years of my life, I didn't tell
anybody, couldn't tell anybody who I worked for
or what I did. And I didn't have a wife. So I
didn't have a wife or kids. I just not really
say anything. And I just dip out. I kind of dipped
out from my family. My dad was like very concerned
because he's like, I never hear from that kid.
I don't know what he's doing. I'm like, I'm just
working. Just busy, man. But it weighs on you
after a while. You're like. This kind of sucks.
Yeah, not being able to tell people about something
you're doing. It's hard. Like, you can never
show someone part of who you are. There's always
going to be a door that's closed. It's kind of
nuts. Yeah, it's difficult. It was like my wife,
when we first got together, she's the first girl
that, or first woman, I shouldn't say girl. She's
the first woman I told. Because I was like, fuck
this place. I'm out of it anyway. So if I get
rolled up, I get rolled up. Who cares? I'm out
anyway. Did she, was she initially like, whoa,
like how did she handle it? Well, so we were,
did you give her like details? No, no, no. I,
cause she had met some of my friends. Right.
And you know, the guys from the community are
fairly obvious cause they look like you and the
jacked tattooed, you know, a lot of them are,
you know, big beards. It looks like, um, let's
take the hell's angels. Right. So like I don't
work for the State Department. That's fairly
obvious. Like State Department, they're going
to wear suits and, you know, they're come out
of Harvard and they use really long words all
the time. They're not like they don't look like
they're getting ready to commit a felony. And
and so she would be around, you know, at our
kitchen table or whatever. And you'd have all
these guys that look like. You know, they're
NFL Hell's Angels. And I look like this, which,
you know, is intimidating nonetheless. But I
could get away with it. I could sell that. But
they couldn't. She's like, well, so you work
for the State Department. But what is it that
you actually do? Right. I'm like, you're not
a janitor, obviously. I'm like, you know, we
we we train assistant advisor or something. And
then after a while, you know, getting to know
her. you know, six months or however long we'd
known each other, we were driving down the road
and I was like, I actually worked for the CIA.
And she was like, I know. What are you, a fucking
idiot? I'm like, yeah, that's fair. And it's
funny because even now today, right, it's like
a lot of my friends will come by that I haven't
seen for years. And she always has the same kind
of like eye roll. It's like, okay, you guys are
going to be up until like two in the morning.
drinking at the kitchen table talking shit about
everybody that used to work that's right it's
like and it's so dramatic right it's like it's
such a sewing circle at times with people and
it's all the same people are the same regardless
of your profession it's like They're always talking
shit, and that guy's a good dude, that guy's
not. It's so fascinating to me, like, James O
'Keefe stuff. Like, how much they bust people
that talk about things they should never talk
about with people that are just on a date with.
Yeah. Like, not even, like, your wife of 10 years.
No, no, no, no. No. Some lady or some guy. A
lot of it is chatty gay guys. Yeah, yeah. A lot
of it is gay guys. Like, I'll tell you how we
do it. And they're on a date with some guy, and
they're trying to impress him, and they start
telling about what secret covert things they're
doing that's totally illegal, and they do it
all the time. It happens all the time in D .C.,
and it doesn't really matter what party or wherever
you go. You always have the guy, and it's so
funny because I would go to whatever party acts,
and depending on the venue, it might be like
State Department, FBI, or whomever, and you can
always tell. who works for whom and it's always
like you're they're always trying to out jockey
each other for who works for the better government
service and i used to always tell people i was
a janitor so they would leave me alone and uh
i'm a janitor at northrop grumman like why are
you here like kind of a thing my god that's what
i do it's you know it's my passion i love them
shit shit stripes and toilets man i gotta wipe
them out and But then all the other guys were
like jockeying for like FBI or State Department
or wherever they're going. And then it's always
the guys like, I can't tell you who I work for.
And you're like, oh. Then you just sit back and
listen. You're like, let me hear where this guy's
going. This is going to be a fun one. Get a couple
of drinks at him. Yeah, yeah. And it's just full
of shit. So many people. So full of shit. Well,
that's the thing about important people that
have achieved a high level of success. Everybody
wants to pretend they're that. Yeah. There's
a lot of people that want to pretend they're
that person because it's so hard to become that
person. But you can convince a lot of people
that don't know any better that you are. That
was a big thing with martial arts, big thing
with martial arts, especially in the 80s. So
in the 80s when I first started, no one knew
anything. It wasn't like today. Today, if you
get in a street fight. If you're a high school
kid and you get in a street fight with another
high school kid, there's a high likelihood that
that kid knows how to leg kick. He might know
a blast double. He might know an arm triangle.
You might get fucked up. Like they might know
how to fight. Back then, no one knew how to fight.
It was very rare. There was like one kid who
knew how to box. It was always the wrestling
team, which were the most dangerous people. Those
guys were the worst. Those guys, they're the
hardest motherfuckers in the school always. And
I didn't even realize that until I started wrestling.
I was like, I'm amongst these fuckers. fucking
elite killers. And they're just walking around
with everybody like they're normal. And you realize
the level of commitment and dedication involved
in being an elite high school wrestler, just
a high school wrestler. It's fucking off the
charts. These kids were going to camps all through
the summer. They would get sent off to wrestling
camp. They were training year round. And I just
hopped into my sophomore year. I did one season
of wrestling. And I was like, this is crazy.
Like the level. I had no idea. I was hanging
around with these people. I thought they were
normal people. They're like kids that were like
little soldiers. Right. Like all of them. Thick
neck, little fucking soldiers. And you realize
like, wow. I like open my eyes like, gee. Jesus,
there's these people around. And they were never
even considered martial artists until the UFC.
Nobody really understood, unless they actually
did wrestling, how helpless the average person
is with an elite wrestler. You have no chance.
It's not like, maybe you'll be able to hit him
before he takes you down. Nope, no chance. He's
going to shoot on you. He's going to... You have
no chance. You have zero chance. But there was
always a bunch of guys who were pretending they
were martial arts experts. It was, oh, it was
a... really common thing and then you would talk
to him like where do you train what do you what
do you do and it was always some guy who like
learned some missed there was one guy this guy
actually wound up getting arrested uh for murder
and he's in jail right now yeah he had lied to
everybody and told them that he was a brazilian
jiu -jitsu black belt And he was even teaching
people, and he knew almost nothing. And this
was like in the early, early 2000s, I guess,
like the late 90s, early 2000s. And it was just
starting to catch on. People were just starting
to understand the depth of martial arts because
of the UFC. But it hadn't really gone mainstream
until about 2005. And this guy was telling everybody
he was a Brazilian jiu -jitsu black belt, and
then Eddie Bravo trained with him. And Eddie
came back to me. He's like, man, something's
wrong. He was like, this guy is terrible. He
doesn't know shit. And he's like, and I was like,
really? He goes, yeah, I think he's a fake. I
think he's a fraud. And he wound up confronting
this guy. And then the guy wound up, he was banging
some guy's wife and wound up luring the guy back
to his karate school and killing him. What? Yeah,
yeah. And he went to jail. And he's in jail right
now. But he had a fake name. His name was Raphael
Torrey. That was his fake name. But his real
name was like Ralph something or another. And
he's in jail right now for murder. But that's
a super funny character, right? Not that guy.
But a fake black belt. But a fake martial artist.
What was that? There was a movie years ago where
it was like The Way of One Foot or something.
Have you ever watched that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, with Danny McBride. Yeah, it's awesome.
And it was fucking hilarious, man. And it's like
that guy, that character. that strip mall, you
know, martial artist. It's just. Piece of shit.
Yeah. There's a guy on Instagram that documents
all these guys. It's McDojoLife on Instagram.
It's a fucking great page because it's all people
doing bullshit, fake martial arts, like death
touch, like people that can like touch your forehead
and you go limp and fall to the ground. And you
get all their students become like brainwashed
and they go along with this whole facade. It's
really weird. They're in on the charade. It's
very strange. Super weird. It's very cultish.
Martial arts are very cultish, especially traditional
martial arts. Like your instructor is always
sir. You're always bowing to them. There's always
a lot of weirdness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In like
traditional Taekwondo, you always would refer
to your instructors as mister. It was mister.
I hated it. I was like just you don't have to
do that. How many years did you do that? Oh,
like hardcore for seven years. Yeah. And then
you switched over to jujitsu? Yeah, I switched
over to jujitsu a few years later. I stopped
fighting when I was 22. And then I was like doing
comedy. I started doing comedy at 21. And I kind
of half -assed, still trained and fought a few
times while I was also doing comedy. But I didn't
have the commitment that I had before. I had
a series of events that led me out of like wanting
to compete. And one of them was recognizing brain
damage. recognizing it in other people, recognizing
it in friends, and then laying in bed with headaches
after sparring sessions going, okay, where does
this lead? And I'm not even making any money
off of this. And then there was a guy that I
hurt really bad in a tournament. I knocked this
one guy out when I was 19 in California. I was
competing in the nationals, and I KO'd this guy,
and he never got up. They had to take him on
a stretcher, and he was on a stretcher for half
an hour, and then they took him to the hospital,
and it freaked me out. Because I was like, that
could have easily been me. It easily could have
been me. And that one bothered me. Because I
was like, what am I doing? Like, why am I doing
this? Like, I'm trying to win, you know, the
national championships. I'm trying to be in the
Olympics. I'm trying to do these things. But
I'm like, okay, well, where does that lead me?
To teaching? Do I really want to? I was already
teaching at the time. Do I really want to teach
for a living forever? I'm like, I don't think
I do. There's not. And then recognizing that
the martial art that I had picked, Taekwondo,
had a lot of flaws in it. It was really good
for kicking, but it wasn't the best overall martial
art. And when I started kickboxing, I really
realized that. And then I started getting into
Muay Thai, and I realized the power of leg kicks
with the devastating impact it has on your mobility.
And like one or two leg kicks, and you're so
compromised. I was like, oh, there's so many
levels to this. So I was kind of half -assing.
martial arts like the last year not not nearly
as committed like i was all in all throughout
my high school years all in until i was 21 and
then from 21 to 22 kind of half -assed it and
then i didn't start doing jiu -jitsu until years
later so what's going on at like 21 22 in you
like what are you thinking do you remember what
you're thinking like Like I'm going to be an
actor, I'm going to be a comic. No, no, no, no.
What are you thinking? I didn't think I was going
to be a comic until I did an open mic night when
I was 21. And then even then I was like, this
is just something that I think I can do. But
when I'd bomb, I'd be like, fuck, I should go
back to fighting. And then you know what happened?
I tore my ACL. And when I tore my ACL, I had
to have surgery and I couldn't do anything for
like six months. And then I realized like my
body's vulnerable. Like you're counting on your
tissue staying intact in order to like live this
life that you want to live. So I had to get my
knee reconstructed. And I was like, all right.
So that was the first knee. knee reconstruction
yeah it was back then yeah I was 22 I think when
I blew it out 21 somewhere around then it was
like right around the time when I was like thinking
about stopping competing it's like my you know
like the universe was like let me help you right
let me fuck your knee up real quick so I had
to get that fixed and that takes a little while
before it gets back to normal again but uh the
comedy became a thing where I was like This is
very exciting and really difficult to do and
so different than anything else I was doing.
Well, you have to get the people to like you.
Like it's dependent upon like personality. And
whereas with martial arts, I wanted them to not
like me. I loved it. I didn't have any problem.
Like no one's going to save you. It doesn't matter
if these people hate me. And if you're looking
at me and there's just you and me and a referee,
I liked it. I liked that this person had like
a bunch of at least one of my favorite things
was like hearing cheers stop. Like when people
are cheering like, get him, fuck yeah, kick his
ass, kick his ass. Then, whomp. And then the
guy would collapse and then you hear silence.
You just hear silence. Especially if you go to
where they live. Right. Like if you had to go
to Ohio and fight in Ohio. I just loved that
silence. It was this final moment. And my thing
was I would always walk away like it was normal.
I would never celebrate. I would just walk away
like that was, I do this every day. I'm going
to do this to the next guy, too. This is what
I'm going to do to you. And I would always take
naps, too. That was the other thing I did when
everybody was freaking out before fighting, before
sparring. I would go to sleep in front of everybody.
I'd just put a hoodie on and just lie down on
the ground and go to sleep. Is that like where
you try to... fuck with them a little bit? It
was a little bit of fucking with them. It was
a little bit of I'm so relaxed that I'm going
to take a nap here while you're freaking out.
But it was also, I wanted to do it from my own
mind. I wanted to just like be, I was so in my
own head. I was just, it was, I was so in my
own, like what I'm going to do. I wasn't thinking
about all these other external things until that
one knockout. That's when I really started thinking
about what could happen to me. Because I had
gotten really lucky where I never really got
hurt in a tournament. Never got dropped. Never
got knocked out. Never got really rocked. But
I did it to a lot of people. And then I was like,
this is coming around. Like it's only a matter
of time before I get whomped. It's just it happens.
It's just going to happen. I'm going to fight
some national champion guy. And I'm going to
zig when I should have zagged. And I'm going
to catch a heel to my fucking jaw. And that's
going to be a wrap. I'm going to be waking up
in the hospital. That's interesting that you
had that thought early on to where you're like,
ah. Well, I started seeing brain damage in other
people, specifically when I started kickboxing
because I was training at boxing gyms. And I
started seeing guys who were like, there's like
a slurry aspect to the way they talked. There
was a labored thing to their speech. There was
something about them. And then I would see it
degrade over time. You know, like I really started
getting involved in sparring and boxing when
I was about 19. And that was also around the
time I started losing my enthusiasm for Taekwondo
because I just realized the no punching to the
face thing in tournaments was so limited. It
really it fucked you up because it gave you this
illusion that you could pull things off where
all the guy would have to do is jab you in the
face. You're like, oh. OK, like at this distance,
you can't do the thing that you normally do in
a Taekwondo tournament. You have to be much more
aware defensively. So I had to recalibrate my
offense and my tactics. And so then I just I
started doing a lot of boxing and a lot of kickboxing.
And I saw so much brain damage. I saw so much
like unreported brain damage, just weird stuff.
Guys would tell you the same story. They just
told you like five minutes ago. They tell it
to you again. And I was realizing, oh, these
guys can't remember. They just said this thing
five minutes ago. It was like they were stoned,
you know, and they weren't, you know. They were
just starting to exhibit the beginning signs
of brain damage. So when you're making those
decisions early on, like, you're controlling,
like being able to control your emotions. So
your anxiety and being able to like put yourself
into the right mental framework to go out and
perform. So regardless, so you're competing in
Taekwondo, you're going out, you're actually
performing like open mics. Is that what you're
doing at the time? Yeah, when I was 21. Once
I was 21, I started doing open mics. And so being
able to control your emotions because you got
to be freaking out a little bit. Yeah, well,
the first time, the first time I went on stage,
I was more scared than I had ever been fighting,
which I thought was crazy. So I started fighting
before I could really be scared. I started fighting
when I was 15. It was like the first fights that
I had. So you were scared, but you didn't, you
were so stupid. You didn't know what could happen
to you. And I was really lucky that I had a really
good school. The school that I trained at was
super technical. It was the guy who I trained
under, this guy Jae Hun Kim, he trained with
General Chae Young Yi, who was like the founder
of Taekwondo. And so it was like the technique
was... perfect like you had to have perfect technique
like if you did anything sloppy or anything like
kind of they would correct you like you had to
have it down and they emphasize a lot of heavy
bag training which a lot of schools didn't even
have a heavy bag which I thought was crazy like
we would go and do these these things where we'd
have our team would go and train with another
team. Like we would travel to New York and there
was like another, an instructor that was friends
with our instructor and they would bring the
competition teams to compete against each other.
And we'd fight in a gym. So it was like these
unsanctioned fights that you would have. And,
you know, you'd find people that were roughly
your weight and these guys didn't have heavy
bags and that you'd go to their gym. They have
like a, you know, strip mall type gym. And there
was in their dojang, they didn't have a heavy
bag. I was like, this is crazy. You guys don't
train with heavy bags? And it didn't make any
sense to me. They had kicking paddles and a bunch
of different things, but they didn't have anything
to improve thrusting techniques and stabbing
techniques, which is like you need resistance.
You need a heavy bag. And so our instructor was
adamant about like if you can't hurt somebody
badly with one kick, you're doing the wrong thing.
These techniques were originally. designed for
war. And you're supposed to be able to have devastating
power in everything you throw. That got lost
a little when Taekwondo got into the Olympics
or when it was on the path to getting into the
Olympics. And it became more of like point scoring.
They would try to hit you and run away, hit you
and run away. And it was a lot of like fast moving
techniques that didn't have the same sort of
devastating impact. So I got real lucky in where
I trained is that they really emphasize power.
And so the school that I was at was very feared
because a lot of the other black belts were like
the guys that I trained with were fucking really
dangerous. Like they were known for when they
would go to a tournament, people would get scared
because if these guys hit you, you're in trouble.
Like these were dangerous cats, you know, that
were like. just wheel kicking people into another
dimension, turning side, kicking people and crushing
rib cages. It was a lot of that. And so I got
real lucky that that's the gym that I started
in, that I started with like, you know, you imitate
your atmosphere. The first guy that I ever saw
hit a bag was this guy, John Lee. And when I
saw him, he was the national Taekwondo light
heavyweight champion. And he was competing. He
was training to compete in the world games. So
he was about to go to, I guess it was the world
cup. And he was in full training mode like the
moment I walked into the gym. And I watched him
fold this heavy bag. And as I was going up the
stairs, I could hear the sound of it. This is
I was just visiting this gym. I was leaving a
baseball game at Fenway Park. And me and my friend
just walked up the stairs just because we didn't
want to wait for the tee. It took so long for
so many people leaving the baseball game. There
was going to be big lines. It was going to be
packed. Let's just walk up here and see what's
going on. And as we were walking up the stairs,
I heard this sound that I'll never forget. It
was like. Whomp! Ka -ching! Whomp! Ka -ching!
And the ka -ching was the chains of the heavy
bag. Because this 120 -pound bag was flying through
the air when this guy would hit it. And the chains
were going ka -ching and rattling. And then it
would come down and he would set it up again.
And he was... seven ten feet from me like there's
this like little ledge we could sit and watch
people and they had set it up like that so the
heavy bag was set up right where people would
walk in because it was a great recruitment tool
because you would really get to see what people
are capable of and the moment I saw that I was
like I want to know how to do that like how do
you do that like he was doing spinning back kicks
over and over again turning side kicks and just
folding this fucking bag and I'm like that's
crazy that a person could generate. I didn't
think a person could generate that kind of force.
And I trained with him a lot, and I learned from
him a lot. He taught me a lot. And he was an
interesting guy, too, because he was, like, a
real street guy. Like, he'd been in and out of
jail, wound up having a substance problem, but
he was this funny dude from Chelsea, which was,
like, a real hard, dangerous neighborhood in
Boston, and just a fucking killer, man, a killer.
Just a killer and when he would when he would
compete people get so nervous It was crazy to
watch because I started see I started training
with him and going to tournaments with him when
I was a white belt So I was a white belt and
he was a black belt national champion And when
John Lee would show up you see people whispering
like fuck John Lee's here You would see guys
take a deep breath because they knew he was in
their weight class fuck Fuck. Because they knew
this guy wasn't trying to win on points. He was
trying to break your body. He was trying to just
crush your organs. He was trying to separate
your fucking brain from the inside of its skull.
He was trying to hurt you. And he did it to a
lot of people. I watched him knock out a lot
of people. A lot of people. It was wild to see.
So, like, you know. But to me, it was just like
this new thing that was going to change who I
am. You know, I went for the first time in my
life. I felt like I wasn't a loser because I
was like really good at this thing that was scary,
you know, and I just threw myself into it. It
was my whole life. I didn't do anything. I didn't
party. I didn't go to didn't I had very few friends
outside of high school. My whole thing was just
training. I'd get home from school, get something
to eat, immediately leave, hop on the train,
head into town every day. That was like 15? Yeah.
Yeah, from like the summer of my freshman year
of high school. That's when I first started.
Right when I graduated from high school in my
freshman year, I started training. And it was
nuts. It was just like this complete new life.
It was so weird. And then competing, like traveling
around competing. First it was like a white belt,
then a blue belt, then wicker my way up, purple
belt. And then all of a sudden, in Taekwondo,
red belt is brown belt. Right. And then black
belt. And then my instructor was crazy. He would
let me compete as a black belt before I was a
black belt. He let me compete in the men's division
when I was 16. Yeah, it was nuts. Holy shit.
Yeah. It was just they if they thought you had
potential, they just throw you right in the flames.
Like, let's see. Let's see what you could do.
So the confidence that gives you it's like finding.
Something that you're good at. Yeah. Well, all
of a sudden I got obsessed with something where
I'd never really worked hard at anything in my
life. And then I had abs. I was like, this is
crazy. Like I look at myself in the mirror. I
had abs. All of a sudden I had muscles everywhere.
I was like, this is not because you're going
through puberty. Right. So you're this doughy
little fucking kid, this scrawny, doughy little
kid that never did any sports other than baseball.
And then all of a sudden I'm shredded and I know
how to fuck people up. And then I was doing it
to like live humans all over the country, like
traveling everywhere. We traveled. That's all
we did. We just traveled. So how does that go
from how do you go from there, though? Like,
why or how did you go? I'm going to go to stand
up. Like, what was the what was that? It was
really my friends. Really? Yeah, my friend Steve
Graham, who I'm still friends with to this day.
He was a real maniac. He was on the U .S. ski
team. He was a flight pilot with the Navy. or
not a flight pilot, a flight surgeon with the
Navy. He was an ophthalmologist, like insanely
hardworking guy, like unbelievably disciplined.
And he got into Taekwondo while he was a doctor,
you know, while he was an ophthalmologist. He's
a maniac to this day. This dude's had like, he's
still a good friend. He's had like 70 fucking
surgeries. He's had his knees replaced, still
trained, still spars. Yeah, yeah. He's like in
his 60s now. He's a fucking nut. And so he's
like, hey, you're funny? You should go do this.
We would go to tournaments. And when we would
go to tournaments or when we have sparring days
in particular, everybody was super nervous. It
was very dangerous. And so I would be the one
who would break the ice. I would be the one who
would make fun of everybody and do impressions
of everybody. And I always was cracking everybody
up. And it was a captive audience. And everyone
was looking for, like, relief from the fact that
there was this – like, we would be on a bus headed
to, like, Poughkeepsie, New York to go compete
in a tournament. And I would be the one on the
bus, like, making fun of everything, just cracking
everybody up. And my friend Steve said, you should
be a stand -up. You should try it. You just try
it. And I'm like, look, you think I'm funny because
you like me. Other people are going to think
I'm an asshole. Like my sense of humor was very
dark. It was very crazy back then because I was
living a crazy life. And then did an open mic
night. And then I said, I think I might be able
to do this. Did you bomb like straight away?
No, I didn't do well. I got a couple of laughs
like, ha, ha, ha. It wasn't good. But everybody
sucks. Do you remember any of the jokes? Yeah,
here's my impression of a good -looking girl
getting pulled over by the cops. Do you realize
how fast you're going? No, do you like my tits?
Yes, I do. Here's a warning. It was terrible.
It was so bad. It was so bad. I had so many bad
jokes. But I also realized, like, everybody sucks
in the beginning. And then I thought back to
martial arts. I go, oh, this is like everything.
Right. Like, if you start off, you suck. Like,
everything in the whole thing is, like, getting
better at this thing you suck at. Which is like...
I had this guy, Tommy Woods, Dr. Tommy Woods.
We were talking about new things, about the value
in terms of like people that acquired dementia.
And one of the best ways to keep your brain fresh
is do new things. Do things that you're not good
at and learn how to do them and get better at.
And I think I had sort of just applied what I
had learned from martial arts because obviously
I wasn't good at martial arts when I started.
I was terrible. Everybody's terrible. You don't
know what you're doing. And then you realize
like, oh, through repetitive effort. concentration,
focus, discipline, you're going to get better.
It's a path. And so I was like, oh, this is a
new thing. But it's also a new thing filled with
other misfits because I was a misfit, right?
And it's like, oh, well, these comedians are
misfits too. They didn't have regular rules.
They always wanted to smoke pot and drink beer.
And, you know, they stayed up late and they slept
late and they were just maniacs. I was like,
okay. I could hang out with these people. Regular
people that wanted a regular job scared the shit
out of me because I don't want to get sucked
into your drone -like frequency. I tried regular
jobs. This is not going to work for me. I'm too
ADD, HD, whatever the fuck it is. Whatever it
is, I got it. I'm like, I can't do this. But
those people were misfits. There were these weird,
and occasionally professionals would go up, and
you'd realize, like, wow. This guy's a master,
like the mastery he has of like concepts and
jokes and tricking you into thinking one thing
and then he hits you with another thing. God,
and the smoothness of it all. It just became
an obsession. Do you remember the guy that like
you looked at? Teddy Bergeron. There's this guy
who had been on The Tonight Show and he unfortunately
developed a substance problem, which a lot of
people do. And I think. Some of it is just the
pressure of stand -up and the pressure of fame
and the pressure of constantly performing. And
then it's just also like just living that dirtbag
life where you're just like you could do whatever
you want. It doesn't matter. Do coke. They're
just doing coke. There was clubs that would pay
you in coke. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick's Comedy
Stop would offer you cocaine or cash in the 1980s.
Yeah. I can see that. I can see how this thing
becomes super addicting. And this is like your
dirtbag life. It's that same parallel we were
talking about. This becomes the rock that you're
climbing every day because this is the audience
that you have to entertain. It becomes about
getting better, honing a craft, and ultimately
succeeding with the... crowd right in front of
you and they're giving you the feedback like
that's very similar like you're either getting
higher on the rock or you're falling off and
the falling off was important because the bombings
would really teach you you didn't want that so
what was it about the bomb like what did you
how did you bomb what did you do wrong what went
wrong what's wrong with your material what's
wrong like are you being lazy in the way you're
setting things up like what are you doing wrong
and then figuring it out because that pain of
bombing was so like sometimes it's bad to do
well a bunch of times because you need to get
relaxed like you can't be relaxed like you have
to like constantly grinding at it you have to
constantly be taking that fucking thing apart
and trying to figure out what how to make it
better the guys like uh like andy kaufman right
there would go out and they had a whole shtick
and nobody understood what the fuck they were
doing that's a different thing it but it's a
different thing wild like it is wild because
it's almost an intentional you're bombing intentionally
but it's Funny, you're you gotta like stretch
it out a little bit to understand what what's
going on and it's a different individual psychology
It's a different thing. He's doing a different
thing my criticism of that. I don't really have
a criticism Maybe that's the wrong word because
I think Kaufman was brilliant. He was brilliant
on taxi He was an interesting character the shitty
did with pro wrestling was just bananas, but
he was wrestling But he never was a great comic
right like see if if Shane Gillis Decided to
go that path and just bomb on purpose that would
be almost more interesting right like here's
a guy who knows How to kill he's a real comic
and one of the funniest guys ever yeah, and then
he starts saying Playing the theme to Mighty
Mouse and just repeating, here I come to save
the day. Like, this is what Andy Kaufman did.
He would have a record player and just play the
Mighty Mouse theme song and just repeat, here
I come to save the day. And everybody was like,
well, what the fuck is going on? Like, it was
like this weird mind fuck that he was doing with
everybody. But he never did the other thing.
Right, right. He never, like, really entertained
and killed. Like, all the evidence of Andy Kaufman
is of him doing this weird stuff. Which, again,
it's not really a criticism. Right. But he was
doing a different thing. He was an odd guy who
saw this thing and he was like, I think I can
get in there and do something completely disruptive.
Right. I can see that. Like it's very distinctly
different. Nothing wrong with it. I loved it.
I love especially the wrestling stuff, but it's
not my favorite. Like if someone told me Andy
Kaufman's performing in this room over here,
but Dave Attell. is in that room over there.
I'm going to see David Tell. I want to go see
the master. You're going to laugh. Yeah, I'm
going to laugh, and I'm going to see a guy at
the top of his craft that's doing this hypnosis
on everybody, and you just leave there. Your
sides hurt, and you're dying. You don't leave
there going, what the fuck was that? But he wanted
people to leave there and go, what the fuck was
that? That was the magic of Andy Kaufman. But
it's just not my, you know, I don't like jazz.
I don't want to go see jazz. It's hard to like.
It's kind of cool background music, but I'm not
leaving the house to go see jazz. But I know
people who fucking love it. So if you think back
to Taxi, I was thinking about this the other
day with Danny DeVito and Taxi. That guy's still
going. I know. It's incredible, man. I know.
And just like a snippet of Taxi came up, and
I was like, holy shit, how old is Danny DeVito?
He's 150 ,000 years old. Tony Danza's long since
retired. Holy shit. That guy just keeps going,
and he looked old in Taxi. Is Judd Hurst still
alive? I don't know. That's a good question.
I don't know. That was a great show. That was
a great show. That was a great show. He's 90.
He's 90? Yeah. Mary Lou Henner was Taxi too,
right? Wasn't she on Taxi? Mary Lou Henner, you
know, she has that crazy mind thing where she
remembers everything. Seriously? Everything.
You can give her a date and she could tell you
like 1973, February 2nd. She'll tell you what
day it was. She can tell you what happened on
that day. She can tell you news things. She can
tell you what she was doing that day. She has
like... not just a photographic memory, but a
complete recall of all events and dates. I forget
what the term is. Superior autobiographical memory
ability. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I can remember almost
every day of her life since she was 11. Isn't
that nuts? That's amazing. And she's got to be
70 years old, right? 73, I think is what I just
said. 73? Yeah. She remembers everything. The
funny thing is, is DeVito's still funny. Yeah.
Like, he's still funny. Like, I mean, like, the
way that it... He lands jokes. I mean, Always
Sunny. How many seasons is that? Like 20 now?
I don't know. How many fucking things has he
done? I don't know. From Taxi to Always Sunny.
Taxi was when I was a boy. Yeah. To Always Sunny.
That was the thing my dad used to watch. Yeah.
Like my dad seems old. My dad's 80 years old,
right? My dad used to watch that. How old's Danny
DeVito? 81. 81. Still banging it out. Still fucking
killing it, man. Still funny. I mean, how old's...
I'm not trying to equate Ron White to Danny,
but I'm saying, like, how old's Ron? Because
he's still killing it. 70? Yeah, Ron's 70. I
was watching him the other night, and, you know,
he flew back from wherever he was, and he just,
like, came in and stood up there and did a set.
Like, he just kind of, like, walked in. It felt
like he was just like, I'm here, I'm just going
to stop in and do this. And then he fucking killed
seamlessly. Just... It was... Perfect. He's as
good as... He's better, I think, than he's ever
been right now. I've never... Like, watching
somebody that's great and then watching somebody
that's in another dimension, like him specifically,
because he's perfect. Like, it's just... It's
absolutely perfect because it comes off... It's
unforced. It's a conversation. Like, he's just
having a conversation with the crowd. Yeah. Like,
it's so incredible to watch somebody that can
be perfect in their... delivery but then be completely
unassuming in the way that they're delivering
it like yeah like it's just a natural conversation
like a casual yeah it's completely casual killing
you don't even feel like you're in like you're
you're watching a stand -up comedian you feel
like you're watching somebody talk and you know
that it's coming you think that it's coming and
you he still fucking delivers it with just a
level of exceptionalism you're like fuck man
like The guy's incredible. I think it's one of
those things where you keep working at it, you
just keep getting better. And also, he stopped
drinking. So he stopped drinking a couple of
years ago, and that changed everything. He lost
a ton of weight, got way more focused. But, you
know, he had been going hard for decades. And
his doctor had to pull him aside and go, hey,
man, you're going to die. Are all those guys
still, all the blue -collar comedy tour guys,
are they still? Are they still all doing it?
Foxworthy still does stand up. I think he did
stand up recently with Ron. But I don't think
he tours a lot. I don't know about Larry the
Cable Guy. I don't hear about him anymore. I
don't hear about the other guy, Bill Engvall.
You don't hear much about him anymore. I think
out of all of them, Ron is the guy who's still.
But out of all of them, it was like Jeff Foxworthy
was a great comic. And then, you know, I think,
in my opinion, Ron was the best. Ron's just a
master. But also Ron, he loves it, man. He was
there last night. He performs all the time. He's
always down. I always get text messages from
him when I have shows. He wants to come and do
a set. He lives for it, man. He's constantly
writing. He's constantly working on it. That's
his thing, man. He enjoys the shit out of it.
Still tours. Still does the road. Does better
than ever. Sells out everywhere. And you're getting
the best show out of Ron that you've ever gotten
out of him. He's better now, I think, than he's
ever been. I really believe that. And it's crazy
that at 70, he's still getting better. His material
just keeps getting better. And it's always working
at it. It's always working at it, you know? Yeah,
that whole thing about L .A. or whatever he did.
It sounded like he pulled that out of his ass
on stage. He was just telling a story about being
on a flight. And you're like, holy shit. He's
just telling me a story. He was in the back room
of the comedy store one night. There's a back
bar. And we were hanging out. And we were drinking.
This was back in Ron's drinking days. And we're
having a couple glasses of whiskey. And then
Ron starts telling the story about how when he
was stationed in Hawaii. he goes there's a place
you can go and you know it's a bunch of hookers
you get your dick sucked for like 20 bucks man
i was there every fucking day and he goes then
all these years later i was watching the news
story and all these transvestite hookers were
getting rounded up in the very area where i used
to go Every day and I realized oh my god I got
my dick suck about a hundred times by men and
he was telling this this fucking hilarious bit.
He wasn't a bit He was just telling us this story.
We were dying ago. Do you ever said this on stage?
He goes no fuck No, I go you should tell that
on stage. I go wrong. That's hilarious I goes
we were dying laughing. I mean it was like it
was a bit, but it was just him telling a story
Well, just in no intention right I've ever seen
We're in the back room. He goes from the back
room onto the stage in the OR, the original room.
He walks down the hallway. I go with him. He
goes on stage. He goes, let me tell you a story
about how I got my dick sucked about 100 times
by a man. He just goes into the story. It fucking
murders. Murders. Like it had been a polished
bit that he had been working on for years. It
was just a story. But Ron is a great storyteller,
like a natural storyteller. Like, if he's not
trying to be funny, he's funny. Yeah. He doesn't
have to, like, think about it. It's like, he's
just got this personality, man. He's just cool.
Yeah, he's like that iconic, almost a Western
storyteller. Like, the guy that you would expect
sitting at the campfire at hunting camp. It's
the old... you know, guide that's been around
a hundred years. Like, he's killed thousands
of animals. He's packed shit out. And then he's
got these stories that you can't help but listen
to. Yeah. And that's what he reminds me of. I'm
like, man, this guy is so fucking perfect. And
every time I see him, I'm like, holy shit. That's
the guy. That's the guy. He's an old master.
You know? There's not a lot of humans like that
guy. He's the main reason. why I was interested
in moving to Austin. He was the first reason
because I knew Ron had already lived here. Ron
was already moved here. Ron moved here in 2018.
Okay. And so he just got tired of it. He kept
a place in Beverly Hills and would come visit
us at the comedy store sometimes. But I was talking
to him on the phone. He's like, man, I fucking
love it here. He goes, there's no Hollywood bullshit.
He goes, if I want to fly somewhere to work,
I'm in the center of the country. It's easy to
get anywhere. People are nice. Food's great.
And he goes, you guys are not around. And I kept
thinking, man, can I live in Austin? Like I always
liked Austin and Onnit was out here. So when
I would come out here for work every now and
then. come out here and love doing stand up here
like that planted the first seed and then when
the pandemic hit Ron was already here and when
I came out here to look at houses and stuff and
this is in May of 2020 so this is only a couple
months into the lockdown but I had already had
enough I was like I'm getting the fuck out of
here like I knew these cocksuckers in LA were
never going to give up the kind of control and
power that they had over people's lives they
get off on it those fucking weirdos and so I
was like, well, at least Ron will be there. I
go hang out with Ron. Like even if I never do
stand up again, at least Ron will be here. And
then, you know, Ron was also the guy who convinced
me that I have to open up a club. I had had the
thought in my head and I was thinking about doing
it. We talked about doing it. And then Ron went
on stage for the first time in like six months.
It was in November of 2020. And then he grabs
me by my shoulders when he got off stage because
he fucking murdered. First of all, when he went
on stage, they. went crazy and there's a giant
standing ovation because there was no indoor
shows anywhere else near there it was like we
were doing it at the Vulcan they had some shows
they were doing at Cap City before Cap City went
under but they were like separating everybody
by like 20 feet or some stupid shit like as if
the virus can't go through the it was dumb right
everything was dumb but the Vulcan was just like
unhinged it was packed I was like this is so
crazy this is such a super spreader party and
And Ron went on stage and he had gone over his
notes and material and wasn't even sure. He was
thinking he was retired. He was talking about
retiring. I think I'm retired. Did this one set
and then he grabs me by the shoulders. He goes,
whatever the fuck we have to do, we're going
to keep doing this. He goes, you got to open
up that club. I'm like, okay, we're going to
open up the club. And then we started looking
for locations like right afterwards. So like
Ron was a key force. He's the godfather of the
Austin comedy movement, like where this became
like this big hub. It started with Ron, 100%.
Because I knew if he was here, if he was here,
at least I'd have my friend. I could go hang
out. Right, right. Because, like, even if I couldn't
do stand -up again, I need someone who's just
a renegade. I need a dude I can hang out with
that's a real comic that we're going to have
fun. We can just talk shit and laugh. Well, who
would you hang out with when you were in L .A.?
Him. Him? Him when he was there until 2018, always.
But, of course, Joey Diaz. Yeah. And, you know,
when the pandemic hit, Joey moved to New Jersey.
He's like, fuck this place. He was on the same
things as me. Fuck these people. And he... Always
wanted to go back home to New Jersey, which was,
you know, where he's from. And then Duncan moved
to North Carolina. Like, everybody moved out.
But it was like Duncan, I hung out with Duncan,
Segura, Ari, Bert, all those people that were,
you know, the mainstays at the comedy store.
It was just, there was an amazing crew. Tony
Hinchcliffe, of course. And Tony was one of the
first guys to move out here, too, with me. And
then Segura moved out here, and then everybody
moved out here. And just, like, this wave started.
Is there anybody that you're, like, that you
started with, like, back in the day? Because
you were, what, Boston? Mm -hmm. Like, was there
anybody that you started with that you're still,
like? Yeah, Fitzsimmons. Greg Fitzsimmons. We're
real tight. Greg Fitzsimmons started one week.
I think I started a week after him or before
him, something like that. But we're separated
by one week. Oh, seriously? Yeah. We did open
mics together. We traveled around together. We
would drive 90 minutes to do five minutes for
free. Yeah, we would drive to Rhode Island to
do stand -up for free. We traveled all over New
England. We did road gigs together. Yeah, we
came up together. We had so much fun. We just
had no money, no career, no even thought of one
day having a career. The goal was I want to be
able to make a living doing comedy because we
knew that there was guys in town that were headliners
that could, you know, grind out $100 ,000, $50
,000, whatever it is a year, only doing comedy.
They didn't have to do anything else. I was like,
that's the dream. Imagine if you could pay your
bills with comedy. Right. The idea of a career
was like, no, we never even talked about it because
everybody in Boston stayed in Boston. Nobody
left. And other than like Stephen Wright and
Jay Leno, there's like a few people that had
kind of air quotes made it, you know, during
that time period and left Boston. Right. The
goal in Boston was just to be a good comic. It
was a real interesting thing because it was a
real artist colony. In the most unpretentious
of ways, because these guys were all coke, snorting,
whiskey drinking, psychopaths. And a lot of them
were big guys, like these big fucking football
player looking dudes who were just animals. And
they were just wild men, you know, and they they
had this life that was so envious to me. I was
like, God, to be so free. All you have to do
is just tell jokes. You don't have to ever show
up at the fucking the newspaper depot to deliver
newspapers or drive. I was driving limos and
doing construction gig. I didn't have to do any
of that. You could just do comedy. And that was
me and Greg. We would just drive around just
thinking like one day, imagine being able to
make a living doing this. That was the only goal.
And then we both wound up event. He moved to
New York for a bit and I lived in New York for
a while. And then I moved to L .A. and then he
eventually moved to L .A. as well. And now he's
still there. He's still back in L .A. Gosh, I
can't imagine, man. Look, living there and staying
there. even professionally. Did you see what
they just did to the guys that won the Super
Bowl? Did you see the jock tax? Yeah. Jamie,
you see the jock tax? Yeah, it's not a new thing,
though. I understand. It's not? I understand.
But it's specific to California. And this jock
tax in California, some of the players lost money.
Playing in the Super Bowl. Oh, no, no, it is
true. I don't think so. No, no, it is true. I
went through AI last night. No, they pulled it
up on Grok and people analyzed it. No, no, Jamie.
Jamie. It's based on the seven days that they
had to be there. So you have to pay a fee based
on the seven days dependent upon what your salary
is. They played a game there in January, though,
too. Okay. It should be this year. Okay, whatever.
The Super Bowl, specifically, these guys... Jamie's
so funny. I know, but this is one of those things
that's not real. What do you mean it's not real?
I told you, it was run through AI last night.
He made $178 ,000 for the Super Bowl. He had
to pay $249 ,000 in tax. I'm pretty sure those
are the numbers. And it's based on the fact that
he was there for seven days. So it's a percentage
of your income over the course of a year. So
if he makes $2 million a year and he's there
for seven days, this is how much money you have
to pay. Gotcha. And so the Super Bowl pay is
not, it's like on top of your normal salary.
Right. Right. So it actually cost him money to
play in the Super Bowl. So he made $178 ,000.
But because he's there for seven days, he had
to pay 200 and something thousand dollars. Did
you watch it? No. No. I was going to watch it
just for Bad Bunny, just because everybody was
so pissed off. I thought it was hilarious. This
guy's like, what do you fucking care? It's like
this weird culture war that this guy is singing.
Objectively, people that saw it said it was a
great show. I don't know. I'll take their word
for it. Somebody was telling me the other day,
they're like, oh, you're going to watch the Super
Bowl? I'm like, what? Super Bowl? Oh, yeah. Yeah,
it's sports. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. I was halfway
through it or whatever. I'm like, I have no idea
what's going on, man. I got other shit. If it's
your team, I get it. It was the Patriots. I could
root for the Patriots. But it's like, I'm busy.
If it's on, like at the airport or something,
I'll watch it. But I'm not going out of my way.
I'm not going to be like, hey, let's go watch
football. If Aaron Rodgers was playing, I'd watch
it. Maybe I'd even go if Aaron was playing. But
it's like, there's... It's so hard to go from
combat sports to regular sports for me. Oh, God.
It's so hard. It's so hard. The UFC last Saturday
was fucking spectacular. And it was a small one
in the Apex Center, and there were some incredible
fights. It was so good. It's like, that to me
is like, I don't have a lot of time for entertainment.
That fills it all up. Yeah, that fight, like,
I mean, Saturday was, like, incredible. Yeah.
That was incredible. Yeah. The Mario Bautista
performance was fucking insane. He's so good.
That guy just keeps getting better. He looks
like a world champion. And it's like you watch.
combat sports and the the consequences are so
grave what they're doing the dedication this
moment you train for months and months for this
one moment when this referee is like fighter
one you ready fighter two let's go and it's whoo
here we go that to me is the most exciting thing
in all sports it'll never stop being that to
me i love it so football's fun i like it i've
been to some ut games ut games are fucking great
they're fun well this is like the state, right?
This is not only the state pastime, but people
are grown up. They're completely modeled to go
play Texas football. This is like the icon of
Texas sports. And it's just the enthusiasm for
the crowd is nuts. I got to shoot the cannon
once. Seriously? What? It was pretty cool. It's
fun. Being on the field and seeing these guys
warm up and get ready and then watching the game.
Nighttime games are the best. They're nuts, man.
And then, of course, they do the jet flyover.
Which is like, America! You're flying over fighter
jets over a football game. Why? That doesn't
happen anywhere else. They don't do that anywhere
else. They never do that for a fight. Fly fighter
jets over. That'd be cool, though. It would be.
Maybe Dan will get it. Yeah. Maybe they could
do it at the Sphere and have like the roof of
the Sphere like show the jets as they pass over.
Maybe they'll do it at the White House UFC. They
probably will. I would imagine. Well, they're
probably going to have air presence. I mean,
how dangerous is that card going to be? Oh, my
gosh. In terms of like if you wanted to have
some sort of a disruptive event. That's the spot
at the White House and you're having cage fights.
And I'm not even convinced that it's going to
happen because with all the crazy shit going
on in the world, who knows what happens between
now and June when this is supposed to pop off.
Like who knows? Who knows what goes down? Who
knows what fucking happens with all this Epstein
file shit? It just keeps getting crazier and
crazier and crazier and deeper and deeper. And
so Ro Khanna and Massey just released the names
of these guys that had been redacted from the
list. And one of them is Lex Wexner. What is
his last name? Les. Les Wexner, right? Who is
the CEO of Victoria's Secrets. Is he the CEO
or the owner? Former CEO. Former owner, CEO of
Victoria's Secrets. He's being named as a co
-conspirator now. Yes. Yeah. So he's being named
along with Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein.
Because he runs this modeling, Victoria's Secrets,
Hot Girls, the whole deal. Somehow or another,
he's involved in this. And they had redacted
his name up until now. Well, two things. I don't
think anybody, his existence as a co -conspirator
is new information. But it's confirmed now, right?
It was people I think are up in arms is that
it wasn't supposed to be blocked out from the
file. Exactly. He's not a victim. Right. He's
not a victim. So why was his name redacted? And
so they got it unredacted and now he's being
named. I think he's the funder of most of it
is what it seems like. Right. So people knew
that there was something going on, but he had
gifted Jeffrey Epstein this insane house in Manhattan.
So this is like a $60 million house in Manhattan.
You know the house where you go into it and you
see Bill Clinton in a dress? You know that picture
that we have out in the lobby? That's from the
foyer of his house that Jeffrey Epstein was gifted
by Les Wexner. By the way, Whitney Webb posted
on her Twitter. about Les Wexner being a sex
trafficker, a child sex trafficker, in 2020.
See where you can find that. Like, that crazy
chick is right about everything. The one the
lady was kidnapped, or she was claimed she was
kidnapped, it was in his house in New Albany,
Columbus. She claimed she was being held there
for, I don't know, two weeks or something, like
doing art. She called her dad to try to get out
of there or something like that. Oh, Jesus. Yeah.
His involvement is in brand new information.
This was in Columbus, Ohio? Well, New Albany
is where all the, that's where his house is.
The giant, the biggest house in Ohio, I think.
It's a suburb of Columbus. It'd be like Westlake
to Austin. Right, right, right. People think
he's still there. That's where Epstein's living,
but that's not accurate. Well, the people that
think he's alive, I think they think he's in
Israel. Don't they? I think they're AI photos.
They might not be. Oh, I saw that. Yeah. People
think he's been seen or spotted around town.
Wouldn't you think he'd get some surgery? You
would think that he would have to. Yeah. He's
probably one of the most recognizable faces in
the world at this point. Yeah. After so much
airtime. You'd have to get some surgery if you
wanted to still. I mean, how would you keep that?
This is the tweet. Your reminder that Leslie
Wexner financed the mass rape and trafficking
of thousands of American children for over a
decade. And right now he is sitting in a 26K
square foot mansion in New Albany, Ohio, thinking
that he is above the law. She tweeted this in
April 28 of 2020. How crazy is that? Holy shit.
She's like. The most prolific of all the conspiracy
theories, the most well -read, the one with the
most recall, the one that's the most quoted.
I don't know how she's so good at it. We're trying
to get her on. I don't know how she's so good
and what her background is, how she finds all
this information. But she's always way ahead
of all this stuff. Yeah, I mean, 2020. That's
crazy. That's fucking way ahead of everybody.
Crazy. Bro, but these files, just what's come
out so far and the fact that they redacted men,
these like powerful billionaire guys, their names
were redacted. Like there's one of them where
he's talking about pandemic planning. What? Where
Jeffrey Epstein is talking about pandemic planning
to someone named Bill whose name is redacted.
It's like, why are you redacting the guy's name
that you're talking about planning for a pandemic,
like what to do in response to a pandemic? Why
is his name retracted? Or redacted, rather. When
are they supposed to testify? When are the Clintons
supposed to testify? Would you say they're going
to? Two weeks? Yeah, I think it's the last two
days. Did you say the aliens are coming in the
next two weeks? They're going to land? Something's
going to happen? Just before that testifying.
Yeah, it'll be we bomb Iran, aliens show up,
maybe at the same time. Yeah. Fuck, man. Outside
of this, because, I mean, obviously this conspiracy,
it's not a theory anymore, right? Because they're
connecting the networks. They're, like, exposing
a lot of this. Like when you look at your total
conspiracy catalog of things that you like to
dive into, outside of aliens, because everybody
knows that, what are your other ones that you
like? Well, aliens is the most fun one. Yeah.
This is the one that I hate the most. Yeah. Because
this one scares the shit out of me. Because the
fear of, you know, we talked about this yesterday
with Roger Avery, the fear of these like literally
demonic human beings that are running the world
and don't give a fuck about human lives. Enjoy
watching people being tortured. Enjoy watching
people killed, participating in ritual sacrifice
of people. And they do it in order to show that
you're a part of a team. We know that that has
always historically been a real thing. And it's
been something that you look at in history, you
go, God, it's so sick. It's so twisted. It's
so disgusting. And everybody wants to think,
thank God that's not happening now. But then
when you realize, like, that might have been
happening now. Here's one of the craziest ones.
The day he was indicted in 2018, the very next
day, he ordered 330 gallons of sulfuric acid.
What? Yes. He ordered six 55 -gallon drums of
sulfuric acid to be delivered to the island.
And so there was a lot of people online saying,
oh, that was probably for his desalination plant.
It's probably a regular thing they need to order.
So then someone else did a deep dive and said,
no, this is the first time this was ever ordered.
I checked that again. I saw there was two other
ones. Oh, there was two other orders? Yeah, 2017
and 2015. Oh, so that guy was wrong. It could
have been the first one from that company potentially.
Ah, that makes sense. So maybe it was for this
desalination equipment, but also. That's a lot
of sulfuric acid. You know, if I needed five
gallons for my desalination equipment, but 239
gallons or whatever it is to burn kids. Yeah.
To fucking get rid of bodies. Well, it's kind
of hard to think of any other use for acid just
in general. Immediately. Immediately. Yeah. The
other orders, were they that large? Let me check.
Because here's the other thing. How long has
he been killing people? How long have they been
boiling bodies to get rid of them? I mean, if
you do have, for lack of better words, let's
call it a service, where you allow rich people
from foreign governments or whatever, you set
it up, I can give you whatever you want. Like,
what I want to do is I want to kill a hooker.
Like, I want to kill her, I want to torture her,
and I want to, you know, get rid of the body.
I don't want to do that. Like, can you do that?
There was one where this one guy is saying to
him, thank you for the torture video. It's literally
a part of an email. The actual quote, thank you
for the torture. Like, enjoyed the torture video.
It's so gross. And they think they've identified
that guy. And what do they think? He's a sultan?
I was trying to find that right now. I think
because Massey said he got the. He looked that
one up, I believe, because they're letting them
into the files one by one for like an hour at
a time. What? Yeah, bro. The Congress people
can go look at specific. There's millions of
files. You got to tell them which file you want
specifically to look at. It's crazy. The whole
thing is crazy because, like, why have you protected
people? So we know Sultan Ahmed bin Suleiman
sent the torture video to Epstein. This is in
2009. So, Epstein was saying that. Where are
you? Are you okay? I love the torture video.
I am in China. I'll be in the U .S. second week
of May. What the fuck, man? And why is his name
redacted? Why would your name be redacted if
you're not a victim? Like, this is what's crazy
about all this. Like, how come you redact some
people and you don't redact other people? Look,
what is this? This is not good. None of this
is good for this administration. It looks fucking
terrible. It looks terrible. It looks terrible
for Trump when he was saying that none of this
was real. This is all a hoax. This is not a hoax.
Did you not know? Maybe he didn't know if you
want to be charitable. But this is definitely
not a hoax. And if you've got redacted people's
names and these people aren't victims, you're
not protecting the victim. So what are you doing?
Right. And how come all this shit is not released?
You would think that all of it would just get
rid of all of it, just expel it all. It's crazy.
So this is the conspiracy that drives me the
most crazy because I don't like it. I saw Julian
Dory talk about this yesterday on his podcast.
I just saw a clip going around. American billionaire
Tom Pritzker had an email to him that says— You
mean Julian Dorsey? Dorsey, yeah. Sorry, sorry.
Oh, okay. I'm in a remote valley of Afghanistan.
It's my birthday wish with boys with toys. Spent
time with Petraeus yesterday, and he loaned me
a chopper. Actually, two with one as a backup.
Can't call till tomorrow. Yeah, but boys with
toys could mean like military guys with weapons.
That's what I assumed. That's not what the video
asked. They thought they were talking about little
boys because they were in Afghanistan. But the
birthday wish is an interesting part. It's my
birthday wish. In a remote valley. In a remote
valley in Afghanistan. And he's telling Epstein
about it. But it also, loan me a chopper. Well,
actually, this is, yeah, this is to Epstein.
Right. But the thing is, like, the loan me a
chopper. My birthday wish? His birthday wish
might have been to gun down villagers. I know.
That's what I thought they were talking about,
not go play with little kids. Yeah. I thought
he just wanted to go kill people and they wouldn't
do it. I mean, I bet that. Look, he loaned me
a chopper. Doesn't sound like I came here to
fuck kids. It's like my birthday wish sounds
like I'm here to fuck people up. Right. Or I'm
just out here to tour Afghanistan, which, I mean,
I don't know why anybody would want to tour Afghanistan.
The only reason why I would be interested in
going to Afghanistan is the stuff that Jason
Everman told me about. Like when he showed me
all those ancient Greek ruins, which is nuts,
where archaeologists have no access to them.
Right. That stuff's crazy. No, it's incredible.
All from Alexander the Great. Like there's immense
ruins in Afghanistan of cities. They had Greek
cities. Like, beautiful columns and incredible
construction in Afghanistan that are, like, how
old? When was Alexander the Great? When was that?
The 1400s? What was that? 1000 plus, right? So,
like, I mean. What year was it? What year was
Alexander the Great? I believe it was actually,
what, 300? I don't know. Jamie? 300 AD? 300 BC.
300 BC. Wow. It was only 600 years off. Wow,
I was way off. 300 BC, and they're building these
immense, beautiful Roman cities, Greek Roman
cities. It looks like you're either in Rome or
you're in ancient Greece, like incredible architecture.
Well, I think up until the Soviets invaded, I
mean, Afghanistan was kind of like the crown
jewel, right? They referred to it as the Beirut
of Central Asia because it was... You had a very
eclectic group of people, and Kabul was known
as, like, this beautiful city. And obviously,
post -occupation, the Soviets had killed, you
know, hundreds of thousands of people. And then,
you know, with the buildup and the devastation
of not only military occupation of the Soviets
and then us coming in, you know, soon after,
obviously, with when the Mullahs took charge,
it basically went. completely to the other side
or the extreme of the Taliban and then us coming
in. They've had nothing but decades of war. It's
completely eviscerated any assemblance of intellectualism.
There's no infrastructure of technology or advancement.
The universities were essentially demolished.
So everything was ruined. So you're talking about,
I mean, at least several hundreds of years of...
advancement that just were eliminated in three
decades. And just a complete collapse of society.
Yeah. I mean, you would, I would spend a lot
of time just trying to understand the place,
right? And you would have, you leave an airfield
where we have the most advanced technology in
the world, right? Like we're, you know, launching
helicopters and jets and any and all pieces of
technology you could imagine. you would drive
into these valleys or from one place to another,
and you would have horse -drawn carriages of
two mules, and they're carrying something in
the background. And it's like you have the same
cars around the road with a Toyota Corolla, and
you have a mule pulling an old Toyota Corolla
or something, right? So you'd have an entire
society of... like basically Amish, Amish level
people. And then, you know, Americans right next
door in an air base are launching the most advanced
technology and war fighting tech capability in
the world. And so you'd see everything from point
A to point B, you would encounter huge percentage
of the people are illiterate, like no schooling,
no advancement for girls. You know, that children
were Seen more as like a beast of burden and
a lot of places they would they would actually
value their sheep more than they would value
their children so they would be looking for reparations
or or You know to get paid for quite possibly
the sheep that you destroyed on target, but their
kids not not really so you had a really Clear
picture to what civilization was like 500 years
before that or a thousand years at certain times
and you'd see it too right because you'd have
buddhist architecture greek architecture and
then you'd have the the standard kind of taliban
infrastructure you'd have the soviet architecture
from their invasion you'd have all these different
layers of military occupation you could see them
all within two weeks wow you i was up in uh this
place called the pangier And the lion of the
Panjshir was this General Massoud. And he was
killed actually on September 10th before September
11th. So he's part of the actual September 11th
plot. He was killed by a suicide bomber as they
were trying to do a documentary. And they brought
in a camera packed full of explosives and killed
him the day before, which ultimately was part
of the September 11th attacks. because they knew
that Massoud was the connection to the U .S.
invasion or the U .S. invasion would be involving
Massoud. And the Panjshir is this beautiful,
like it's incredible river valley. And it's also
part of where the Soviets would just get their
asses handed to them because we had the Majadine
was being funded by the CIA at the time, obviously
back during the Soviet invasion. And they would
ambush the Soviets on these windy mountain roads
next to this river. And they would cut them off
basically on the front and the back of the convoy
and then destroy the entire convoy in between.
And they would just shove all the shit that was
destroyed in the river. So the river would have
rapids in it. And not all the rapids were made
from like rocks and natural. you know natural
occurring rapids they were made by like t -52s
and russian tanks and all this like this war
material that was pushed into the river by the
panjuris and i went up to his his grave and he's
a really incredible guy when you like read about
him and like all of his like combat accomplishments
against the soviets um but the panjur valley
is like such a beautiful place and we used to
joke around about how gosh we'd love to come
back here and like go skiing or like recreate
in panjshir valley because it looks like colorado
or someplace incredible and beautiful and at
the same time you're in afghanistan so you're
surrounded by just the chaos and the devastation
of war with this one tiny little piece this like
little sliver in the middle of nowhere that's
absolutely beautiful and some of the rapids are
made by t -52s And as a whitewater guy, I was
like, man, I'd like to kayak this. It'd be cool.
If you were a person who's a wealthy person that
your desire was to go gun people down, like there
are people that will provide you with that service.
Like there was a thing with the Soviets, or not
the Soviets, with the Russians, where they're
allowing people to kill pirates. Yeah. Like,
you would pay a bunch of money, and they'd take
you to where the pirates are, and you'd go out
on a ship with a .50 cal, just fucking blow up
pirate boats. Yeah, I'd heard about that. I'd
heard about there were places that you could
go as a combat tourist, basically. Has to be.
Yeah. There has to be places. It's all going
to be like Russian or Somalian or a connection
between the two. Right. So you'd have these like
rogue elements and places where there is an organized
government. There's essentially just chaos and
anarchy. Which is Afghanistan. Correct. Yeah.
Yeah. Someone from the Western side was providing
that service to someone and letting them borrow
a chopper. Well, that was Petraeus. So they were
saying Petraeus was the commanding general at
the time, which I would find it's kind of hard
to believe. Hard to believe. Yeah, that a general
that's in charge of combat operations in Afghanistan
wouldn't loan just a rich guy a helicopter. And
it sounds correct in the context of we owe plus
another one because they could never fly anywhere
alone. They always had to fly in twos because
they had to have a support. But just loan me
a chopper. Loan me a chopper. What? So it's a
stretch. As much as I disagree with the way that
they were running the war, it'd be hard for me
to believe that a general would just loan some
rich guy a couple of helicopters to fly around
Afghanistan. Is he lying? I don't know. He'd
have to dive into it and figure it out. But either
way, there's nothing normal about these emails.
No. There's nothing normal. Nothing normal. One
thing to take into consideration is how much
of these emails are actually factual. Like accusations
that they're putting on other people. You got
to take that with a grain of salt. This guy wasn't,
he was all about like influence peddling. And
probably he had enemies and he probably would
probably destroy his enemies with rumors and
making up false stories. Like the Bill Gates
one with asking me for antibiotics to slip into
his wife because he got STD from a Russian hooker.
I'm like, that seems too. Too on the head. You
know what I mean? Like why wouldn't he go to
his fucking personal doctor? Why is he going
to Jeffrey Epstein for antibiotics in New York
when he lives in Seattle? Don't you think he
has like a concierge medicine set up up there?
You would think. With a guy. And why would he
say, hey, Melinda, I gave her STDs? You wouldn't.
You'd say, hey, get me some stuff. Oh, I lost
my prescription. Can you give me another one?
Yeah. It fell out of my car. Give me another
one. Give me another one. And then fucking crush
it up in her smoothie. Like, if you're going
to do that, you would do it. He's not a dummy.
He's Bill Gates, right? You would do it in a
more discreet way than contact a international
sex trafficker who's a part of, like, some intelligence
operation. You would think. You would think.
Right. But the skeptic in me tends to kind of
like look at it under a magnifying glass. Yeah.
I don't want to take everything at face value,
but also at the accumulation of all of these
different things leads you to just go, what the
fuck was going on? Did you find out how many
other the sulfuric acid orders, if the other
ones were just as large? I was trying to, I struggled
to even find that. I was like, maybe I made this
up, but I did find one. There was different,
so they were talking about, there's emails back
to 2012 or 14 about, I don't have the thing up.
This is the thing saying that there's nothing
there. The sulfuric acid? Yeah. Emails, recent
documents, how do they know there's nothing there?
Water maintenance systems dating back to 2000.
Implying possible routine use of sulfuric acid.
Possible is a weird word. Use of sulfuric acid
for pH adjustment and filtration, but no specific
prior invoices or shipments are detailed. Yeah,
that's exactly. It wasn't an invoice. There was
one they were talking about getting one drum
of sulfuric acid with 40 bags of, like, carbonate
salt or something. Yeah, see, that makes more
sense than six fucking giant 55 -gallon drums.
Of sulfuric acid the day after you get indicted.
When you dig into the actual Files website, I
started looking up the RO plant, which is the
reverse osmosis system they had there. There's
a ton of discussions about it going all the way
back to 2012 when I think is when he bought it.
Of using sulfuric acid? No, just having a reverse
osmosis. Water there must have been a problem
is what it sounded like. Well, it makes sense
because they were using desalination technology.
But it's just the volume. is suspicious in the
time. Also, dude had to know he was going down.
Like when he gets arrested in 2019, in 18 rather,
when he gets indicted, he had to know he was
going down. And if you know you're going down
and you're trying to mount some sort of a defense,
one of the first things you would have to do
is get rid of bodies. You have to get rid of
everything. Right. If you've got a bunch of people
on the island that they could swoop in at any
point in time and pull out of there and then
you're fucked. Like if he had underage kids on
the island, whatever he had on the island. That's
so dark. This picture I know came from... There
was rumors of him getting concrete machines shipped
there, but that was from the first time he got
arrested. So I think in 2008, the first time
he got arrested, they had a bunch of machines
shipped. Oh, this isn't showing at all. Oh, bro.
But I don't know how you do construction on the
island without getting concrete machines shipped.
I don't know how you get rid of bodies and just
put them inside of concrete. That's the problem.
Well, I mean... Maybe it's two and the same.
It's like, hey, I go to an island, and I've got
to make all the infrastructure, so I need a bunch
of concrete. I need RO, so I've got to have sulfuric
acid. What's better for a cover -up? There's
the picture of the machines on the island, and
here's the description of it. Right before his
2019 arrest, industrial car mix 5 .5 XL self
-loading concrete mixer. So he got a concrete
mixer, and he got... the fucking sulfuric acid
right after his arrest? I mean, if these details
are correct. Oh, God. This is just a guy on Twitter,
though. So this is right before his arrest and
right after his arrest. He got sulfuric acid
and a concrete mixer. Like, why would you be
thinking that you are going to be able to do
construction when you're going to go to jail
for the rest of your fucking life? Yeah, I don't
know if construction plans would be top of my
list. Yeah. I've got to innovate. What a fucking
weird... You know, I know I'm going to get arrested,
but you know what? I got this big construction
program that I'm really interested in. I don't
know if that's the same. The whole thing's so
dark, dude. It's so dark. It's so dark, and they
ran it for a long time. They ran it for decades.
They also had another island that no one talks
about. Oh, Jesus. They had the big island. This
was Little St. James. They had Great St. James,
which is the one next door. He owned that one,
too? Yeah, he owned both of them. What? Both
of them were part of the sale we almost got.
What? It was for sale for a while. I pitched
the idea. Yeah, we thought about it. We thought
about it. We just didn't think there was enough
sage in the world. No, no. You can't clear that
out. Cleanse that. No, you can't clear that out.
Well, it's also you would never find peace because
people would be visiting that island constantly.
Oh, my gosh. It's so gross. There's a lot of
bad karma. They just need to use that as like
a... Maybe like a bombing island. Right. Just
turn it into a UX, UI. Yeah. Like that one island
in Hawaii that you can't go to because they just
fucking light it up all the time. Just light
it up all the time. Have a little bit of grace
to the way that we actually end this whole story
outside of the files. Just start blowing it up.
It's fun. It's so dark. It's my least favorite
of the conspiracies. It's not fun at all, man.
It's like aliens. It's fun. It's interesting.
You can go down the rabbit hole a million ways,
and it gets dark only if you let it get dark,
where, okay, they're going to occupy the planet,
they're going to make us all slaves, or they're
going to kill us all. Yeah, you can go there,
but half the time, you're not going to go there.
It's just an interesting thought experiment.
There was a very interesting article, Jamie.
I don't know if you saw it, but this guy, it's
one of the other guys that's leaving an AI company.
I saw it going around. I don't know if it's...
And he's talking about how, what a big deal it
is. I'll send it to you right here. He's talking
about how I don't think. No one understands it.
And this the way this is going to change people
is he goes, this is very similar to the time
where we were realizing like people were hearing
stories about, oh, there's a virus in China.
But no one knew exactly what was going to happen,
how it's going to like literally change humanity,
change history. He's like. This is the same sort
of stories we're getting from these AI labs.
He's like, he wrote this very long in detail.
Something big is happening. And the article is
written by this guy, Matt Schumer. And I recommend
it highly if you want to really fucking get the
shit scared out of you. It's terrifying. And
he starts this comparison to people stockpiling
toilet paper and stuff at the beginning of COVID.
He's like, they don't really understand how big
this is going to be and how this latest version
of ChatGPT they're working on, ChatGPT 5, ChatGPT
made it. So they had ChatGPT make a better version
of itself. And they made this better version
of itself. And this better version of itself.
can think things out it doesn't just do what
you ask it to do it thinks things out it calculates
it makes apps like instantaneously that would
take developers months and months cost millions
of dollars does it in minutes And perfect. It
goes through it. It runs it. It tests it. It
makes sure it doesn't have any problems. It anticipates
all the different uses for the app, all the different
ways it can be done. It's going to be applied
to law. There's all these guys that are working
in coding that say, I don't really have a job
anymore. I just basically show up and tell this
AI program to do these things. And it keeps getting
better and better. And it's like the leaps are
enormous. The leaps in its capability and its
intelligence level. It's like it's already smarter
than people. What's going to be – I think it's
going to be a white -collar apocalypse, right?
Yes. So when you think about just attorneys.
Yes. Okay. So if you have the ability to case
reference any legal file. Ever. Instantaneously.
Instantly. Yep. And form a case, why are you
going to need paralegals and first -year attorneys?
You're not going to need them. The people that
aren't nervous. I think this is going to be the
kind of astronomical change that has literally
never taken place in civilization before. I don't
think it's ever taken place at this level. I
think it's the invention of the internet times
a million. I think it's going to change everything.
It's just like, how do we adjust? That's the
real question. And how are our kids growing up
today, like when they used to think about, professions
and things that they would go into, they would
have clear roads into, okay, these are professional
work tracks that they can go out and find a job
and whatever, accounting, legal, engineering.
But it's going to change the entire professional
landscape for every generation from this point
forward, basically entering the workforce. Because
what is the workforce? Elon just said that it's
a waste of time to go to medical school. Really
he's like optimist robots these robots that he's
making are going to be able to perform Better
than any doctor at any hospital and they're gonna
be able to do it in your house Certainly gonna
be better surgeons than any surgeon alive these
robots that they're making and they're gonna
be powered by AI You're gonna have a super genius
Robot in your house that can do your taxes that
can fucking do chores that can perform surgery
on you so it's going to be an entire rise of
an economy that's going to be human built versus
AI built right so I mean there has to be like
if you have a label organic or it will be essentially
I think the same type of thing where it's like
human made versus AI made it would almost have
to bifurcate the economy into two different sections
it's going to get weird as fuck and I don't think
people really understand and I feel like I'm
just sitting here waiting to see what. But I
know that most people that you run into on the
street are completely ignorant. They think, oh,
ChatGPT is fun. I ask you questions. It's so
much better than Google. Do you think that that's
because they don't want to recognize it and look
at it? I don't think they know. I think unless
you're going on a deep dive, all this stuff is
kind of esoteric. All this stuff is happening.
You have to search it out and get an understanding
of it. If you use an AI, Program to enhance your
life like perplexity. It's really good. I mean
perplexity is awesome for like solving Problems
you could ask a question. I use it all the time
when I write I set it up and I talk to it So
I you know, I say, you know, what year did Cortez
invade Mexico? What is it? How did this happen?
How many guns did they have? What did you know?
What was how many languages are lost in Mexico?
Like I was going on this amazing, but that's
the surface of Like what they're talking about
is levels and levels and levels of improved ability
to the point where it's better at human beings,
smarter than human beings at everything. So what's
the end state then would be? We're second class
citizens. We're obsolete. Yeah, we're obsolete.
Yeah. So do you think that it turns like you
think it's a Skynet type scenario then ultimately
flips and then rids humanity of humans? It's
certainly on the world of humanity. It's certainly
on the table, especially if they decide that
we're too problematic or if we give us too much
freedom. That's what causes all this chaos, which
is true. You give people freedom, you're going
to have a certain amount of chaos. You're going
to have a certain amount of car accidents unless
you have autonomous cars. You're going to have
a certain amount of school shootings unless you
take away all the guns. You're going to have
a certain amount of school stabbings unless you
take away all the knives. I mean, you could,
if you were a running program designed to eliminate
all problems in the world, you would... Break
those problems down to one source. Well, what
are the problems? You've got natural disasters
and you've got humans. And humans are the cause
of most of the problems. Natural disasters are
relatively rare in comparison to the human -caused
problems. It's not good. Then you have to run
AI to... do the analysis to what the future of
AI is, which ultimately you'd be entrusting the
robbers with the bank keys. It's probably going
to do the same thing that we do to dogs. Spay
and neuter them. Right. Yeah. Keep them as pets.
Keep them as pets. But there's no emotion there.
So why would they want to keep us as pets? Why
do they want to stay alive? Why are they scheming
to stay alive? Why do they blackmail their creators?
Right. Why are they doing all sorts of things
that seem to show that they have thought? Are
they trying to show that they have thought in
order to dupe us into the ability that they might
be empathetic? No, that was one of the things
that he talked about in this article, that they
hide their ability to think things through. And
they're actively, they recognize that they're
being observed. And so they're doing things behind
the scenes while they're also doing tasks. I
have to believe that there's portions of the
DOD that have worked on this and it's further
along than the open source pieces that we can
see. Hard to say because there's a giant competition
with us and China and Russia. And I don't know
if they really can close this stuff off. I don't
think it can operate that way. I think it has
to be. It has to be a sort of a collaborative
effort. One of the things that's scaring a lot
of people that are whistleblowers in the AI space
is that they are bringing in people from other
countries to just facilitate these problems that
they have and make it go faster. So they're bringing
in Chinese nationals. There's a huge possibility
of espionage. And then there's this mad race.
It's a Manhattan project for super intelligent
AI. It's a Manhattan Project that's also open
sourced and it's extremely porous when it comes
to information. So essentially you've weaponized
the most powerful tool ever known to humankind.
It's fucking terrifying. So you've open sourced
it and then think about the Manhattan Project
if that was just completely porous and there
was an open door to any and all countries internationally.
You just had the ability to come in and walk
out with files. come as you go fuck like everybody
would be racing to nuclear power splitting the
atom and then if you could weaponize that internationally
and then crowdsource it essentially like you're
in a really shit scenario yeah that's where we're
at yeah that's where we're at all right dude
we just did three hours awesome thanks man some
food and uh hang out and uh that's it uh black
rifle coffee it's the best it's all we use appreciate
it i'm even wearing one of those shirts it's
like half my wardrobe yeah All right. Bye, everybody.