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Welcome to this curated educational transcript of the Joe Rogan Experience. In this session, we provide a deep-dive examination of the critical perspectives and historical dialogues presented in Episode #2442. Our mission is to offer a high-fidelity, searchable research resource for students of cultural history, emerging technology, and global discourse. This transcript has been specifically optimized for academic reference, linguistic study, and archival preservation regarding Cross-Cultural Dynamics, Immigrant Experiences in Media, and Modern Satire in 2026
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan

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Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by

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night, all day. Hey, fella. What's going on,

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brother? Good to be back, Joe. Good to see you,

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as always. This time I have something to actually

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promote. Well, you're always promoting, so I

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mean... Any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion.

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Right. You're promoting the audience gets to

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see you. Right. Right? Right. It was so funny

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because it got me thinking. So I started watching

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Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances because

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there's a list of them on Spotify. And what was

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so funny to me was like, you know how they have

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these group of mentally disabled people that

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they kind of fuck with? Obi and Anthony? Yeah.

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Yeah. Like a carousel. It's like kind of mean.

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It's kind of horrible. Yeah. It's kind of like,

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ooh, I'm kind of glad we're past that. But what

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made me laugh is every single one of them at

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the end of the thing was like, and here's my

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website. I had a website. And I was like, damn,

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I've been on the Joe Rogan Experience twice and

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I don't even have a website. You didn't have

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a website? I didn't have a website. This is the

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first time I had a website. Wow. What did you

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do? Did you make it yourself? No, I realize like,

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oh, I got to pay people to do stuff like that.

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That's out of my wheelhouse of like things I

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can do. Ironically, I'm terrible with technology

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for a guy who looks like me. There's some things

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you could do like Squarespace has a great setup.

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It's pretty easy to do. Yeah, but that's I think

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that's just pure. It's like pure laziness on

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my end for sure. And a little bit like I spend

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so much time on my like my brain space. And this

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is dedicated to my jokes. I kind of shut out

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everything else. It's a fun time to be alive.

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One of the things that's really exciting about

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The Mothership is for someone like me who's been

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doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting

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to watch people's careers launch. You know, like

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see guys like Cam Patterson go from getting a

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spot on Kill Tony to being a regular on Kill

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Tony to being on fucking Saturday Night Live.

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Boom. It's crazy. Some of them, like Christina

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Mariani now just sells out rooms at the comedy

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store all the time. She's killing it. And then

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you have Peyton Ruddy and Dylan Carlino. These

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are just guys who were just at the club and just

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made a way social media -wise. And you get to

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see people get just tighter and better, like

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McCusker's new set, like what he did last night.

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really fucking good, man. Super solid. Really

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fun. It's just like, we got a good thing, man.

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It's a good thing. Yeah, it's just a fun place

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to be around. Everyone just working jokes. That's

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what it is, really. It's so funny. There is such

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this narrative outside of the ship about what

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Austin comedy is. And it's really just a bunch

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of people just doing jokes. The narrative is

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only with jealous people. It's not... based on

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any reality it's not based on people go there

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and hang out right well it's it's it's always

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these people who love to talk about austin but

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they don't talk to anyone in austin it's like

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there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out

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and talk to you i think i've told you this before

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but i have a friend of mine who's you know somewhat

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of a philosopher an online friend i don't even

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know what he looks like we've been going back

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and forth for years but he warned me about this

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a long time ago he said you've created a walled

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garden and he goes and you've got all these friends

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and you're all supporting each other and you're

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all having fun but there's a lot of people that

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feel on the outside And they feel like left out

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of it. And so they're like, fuck those people.

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That party sucks. You know, it's kind of along

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those lines. And, you know, if you could find

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some connections to other negative things, you

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know, like me and Tony, we have this connection

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to Trump and so does Shane. And, you know, there's

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all sorts of that. Oh, fucking, you got to be

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a right winger to be. And then the narrative

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comes up. Oh, you got to tell jokes about fucking

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trans people. You have to. Yeah. You can't be

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a liberal. You can't be this. He can't be like

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well well that the the whole the whole like you

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have to be a right winger That's like to me That's

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like massive projection because there are these

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spaces where like if you're a right winger in

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comedy like the there's like leftist spaces That

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you just can't be in for sure you'll get pushed

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out right you'll get you'll get treated badly

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more importantly whereas at the mothership like

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that fucking green room like 80 % of the time

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it's mostly like progressive people yeah oh and

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then a lot of people most of the people who work

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there are mostly left -wing yeah yeah it's a

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place where it's a place where but because right

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-wing people i guess are allowed to be here or

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like also allowed to be here it's it's all of

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a sudden this right wing nazi haven well it's

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also it's like what does that even mean right

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like what is right wing like because you don't

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think that that candidate and what they were

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doing by like storming the fucking gates with

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illegal immigrants. You don't think that was

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a good idea? You don't think, like, rampant spending,

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completely unchecked with no documentation, like

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what's going on in California? You don't think?

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You don't think that's a bad thing? What Tim

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Walz is doing. There's so much of it, man. But

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then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is doing,

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like fucking shooting that lady seems kind of

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crazy. You know, like grabbing people that happen

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to be American citizens and fucking dragging

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them out onto the snow and asking them for their

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papers. That seems kind of fucking crazy too.

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Yeah, that seems insane. But it's also like they

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have a crazy job. Like imagine you're an ICE

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agent. Just imagine what happened. Okay. So we

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tried – we used our sponsor Perplexity the other

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day and tried to figure out through AI what the

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exact number is. But when you deep dive, you

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realize they don't know the number. They really

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have like an estimate of interactions with illegal

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immigrants. And it's somewhere around 11 million

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for four years, which is fucking wild. That's

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10 Austins. OK. Yeah. At least. Yeah. Of illegal

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immigrants were allowed to get in this country,

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aided to get in this country and then moved to

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states. They moved them. They flew them out to

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certain swing states. But this is all Mike Benz

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has documented all this stuff. There's all you

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can see. They gave him EBT cards like. So imagine.

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You can imagine two things. One, imagine you're

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one of those people. You're like, dude, they're

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asking me to come. This is awesome. Now I'm in

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America. I'm going to get a good job. I'm going

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to be able to support my family. And then all

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of a sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof

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vests looking for you on the streets. Yeah. Yeah.

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I thought you said it was okay. I thought the

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Red Cross gave me a map. You gave me a fucking

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cell phone and now you're hunting me. Right.

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Now you're just like caught in the crossfire.

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But now imagine the ICE agents. Okay. This is

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your job. Your job is to go out and find these

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people. And one of the things you don't get about

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this, it's like because there was like a recent

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clip of mine that got like highlighted where

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I was criticizing ICE. One of the things that

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you don't think about when you're into this is

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just like regular police interactions. The ones

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that you see online are the horrible ones. So

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you think all cops are horrible. What you miss

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is. The millions of interactions that people

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have with cops, like, how you doing today, sir?

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Good, sir. How you doing? Can I see your paperwork?

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Sure. Here it is. You in a hurry? I fucked up.

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I'm late for work. You know, all right, man.

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Just slow down. Go. Like, all right. Thanks,

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brother. Everything's nice. That happens, too.

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Like there's nice interactions with cops. There's

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people that save people from bad guys. It happens

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all the time. There's people that are thankful

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that they called the police and they stopped

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the burglar who was breaking into their fucking

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mom's house or whatever it is. Right. There's

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so many more of those, but you're not seeing

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those videos. And so with the ICE thing, what

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you're only seeing and you're only hearing about

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American citizens that have been arrested, the

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lady that got shot, you're hearing about all

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these negative. What you're not hearing about

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is the number. of violent criminals that they've

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caught and it's a lot it's in the thousands it's

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not it's not like thousands of american citizens

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have been shipped out to other countries that's

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no it's like net positive if you look at it that

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way like the see if you can find out how many

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because i know there's probably going to be a

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bunch of various sources that are not totally

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accurate but find out like what are the number

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of violent criminals they've caught Since they

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started doing this well also also the there is

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a question on This is how I because I know this

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how they recruit some ice agents It's just like

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their ads on local TV just offering like a signing

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bonus. Yeah, you have see there's an ice hat

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Yeah, and it's like these are just like also

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regular people how much training are they really

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getting right because when you watch the shooting

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video You're like why is the guy shooting also

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recording? With his phone. Like, there's no way

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that's, like, anything you're trained to do.

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Maybe for his own safety, like, just to make

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sure that you could see this lady's unhinged.

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Is he not wearing a body camera? He's not a cop,

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right? Yeah. So I bet he's not wearing a body

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camera. Yeah. So I bet that's why. I bet that's

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why he filmed it. And also, that same guy, turns

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out, was dragged by a car just recently. So,

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like, he almost lost his life or someone did

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try to run him over. He's hanging on to a car

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for dear life. I think he got dragged. 300 feet.

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He got dragged 300 feet. That's crazy. 300 feet,

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that's a long way to get dragged. Yeah. Right?

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Yeah. 100%. That's a full football field. There's

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a full possibility that you may die. There's

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no single public record number of violent criminals

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captured by ICE raids just over the last few

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months, and available data suggests those cases

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are a relatively small share of recent ICE arrests

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and detentions. One analysis, ICE internal data,

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said that only 5 % to 8 % of the people booked

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into ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal

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year 2026 had violent or serious property crime

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convictions. But even if it's 8%, they've gotten

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rid of a half a million people already. And then

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1 .6 million voluntarily deported. So in a half

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a million people, 8 % is a lot. That's a lot

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of violent criminals. So this is weirdly phrased.

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As of January 22, I would say 8 % is a lot. Like

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if you have cancer in 8 % of your body, I would

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say you're fucked. You know what I'm saying?

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Like if you're saying, oh, it's only been 8 %

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that are violent criminals. That's a lot of people.

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But now the question is, are these 8 %? And then

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the nonviolent people sent to the same place.

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Ooh, that's a good question. You know what I

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mean? Because you do want the violent criminals

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out, but then I don't want the nonviolent criminals

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to be sent, or nonviolent people who are here

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to be sent to a prison. Exactly. It says ICE

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no longer voluntarily publishes detailed case

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-level arrest breakdowns by offense type and

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independent projects. So imagine if you're a

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dude from Mexico that just walked up here because

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you wanted a better job and then they shove you

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in a prison. And now, yeah, in some prison in

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El Salvador. And you never did anything bad your

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whole life. And now you're in some, well, the

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El Salvador thing, are they still doing that?

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I don't, that I don't know. That was a bad. Yeah.

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That's bad optics. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot

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of optics. Optics with ICE has been terrible.

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It says recent enforcement has involved thousands

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of arrests nationwide, but available analysis

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consistently indicated only a small minority

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of those. Is that in italics? No. Is it not?

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Is it? Maybe. Weird, right? Yeah. It looks a

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little funky. No. No, it's not. It's just that's.

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perplexity showing its bias. Small minority of

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those, that's a tone, of those in ICE detention

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arrested by ICE in late 2025 and early 2026 have

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violent criminal convictions. Most have no convictions.

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But when they say small minority, they indicated

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previously that that's 8%. That still means a

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lot of human beings. Yeah, yeah. That's a lot

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of violent human beings. If you could sign a

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piece of paper that said that You know, we're

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going to allow a bunch of people into this country.

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Most of them have no violent convictions, but

00:12:01.850 --> 00:12:05.049
about eight percent of them are monsters, evil,

00:12:05.230 --> 00:12:08.909
sociopathic murderers, drug dealers. Eight percent

00:12:08.909 --> 00:12:12.250
is a giant ass fucking number. Right. That's

00:12:12.250 --> 00:12:15.090
a giant ass number. Right. The real problem is

00:12:15.090 --> 00:12:17.450
that they have to do this. This is a real problem.

00:12:17.929 --> 00:12:20.529
Because the Democrats did what they did. They

00:12:20.529 --> 00:12:23.409
did a crazy thing. They opened the border up

00:12:23.409 --> 00:12:26.889
and told people the border was open and then

00:12:26.889 --> 00:12:29.029
let people. And then when people tried to stop

00:12:29.029 --> 00:12:32.009
them from doing it, they use court orders. Like,

00:12:32.029 --> 00:12:33.710
what was that thing they did down in Texas at

00:12:33.710 --> 00:12:35.429
the border? Oh, yeah. Because Abbott tried to

00:12:35.429 --> 00:12:37.850
put up something, some like wall or something.

00:12:37.950 --> 00:12:42.309
They said, you can't stop this. Which is, wait

00:12:42.309 --> 00:12:44.210
a minute, we can't stop people from breaking

00:12:44.210 --> 00:12:46.669
the law? What are you saying? There's a method

00:12:46.669 --> 00:12:49.289
to stop this and you don't want it stopped? Right.

00:12:49.330 --> 00:12:52.330
Because the dirty secret is the census doesn't

00:12:52.330 --> 00:12:56.059
count citizens. It counts everybody. It even

00:12:56.059 --> 00:12:58.860
counts illegals. So if you live in a community

00:12:58.860 --> 00:13:02.320
that's half illegal aliens, you get way more

00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:05.600
congressional seats from that district than if

00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:07.559
you are in a community where all those people

00:13:07.559 --> 00:13:10.100
don't count. They said that I think they said

00:13:10.100 --> 00:13:13.460
that California, if the census did see if we

00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:15.679
can find out what the number is. But if the census

00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:18.379
did not count illegal immigrants in California,

00:13:18.580 --> 00:13:21.039
I think they would lose a shocking number of

00:13:21.039 --> 00:13:25.029
seats. Right. Which is kind of crazy. That's

00:13:25.029 --> 00:13:28.649
crazy. You're rigging politics by moving humans

00:13:28.649 --> 00:13:31.889
into place. Yeah, well, you got to do something.

00:13:32.269 --> 00:13:34.929
It's a very, something that no one really talks

00:13:34.929 --> 00:13:39.110
about a lot is like the Democrats, every single

00:13:39.110 --> 00:13:41.990
minority group shifted right in 2024. Right.

00:13:42.049 --> 00:13:44.870
Every single one. And no one really is like.

00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:47.360
actually trying to figure out why that's happening.

00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:49.720
They're like, well, if we just import more people,

00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:52.240
we can overcome that deficit. But they could.

00:13:52.460 --> 00:13:54.720
They could. If it was successful, they could

00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:57.159
overwhelm the political process. They could make

00:13:57.159 --> 00:13:59.500
it just like it's California forever, where you

00:13:59.500 --> 00:14:02.039
get half the people are like massively disgruntled

00:14:02.039 --> 00:14:04.259
and so confused about the politics, but they're

00:14:04.259 --> 00:14:06.340
stuck there. And that would be the whole country.

00:14:06.970 --> 00:14:08.490
It would essentially be that kind of a thing.

00:14:08.610 --> 00:14:10.649
And then they do what they do in England and

00:14:10.649 --> 00:14:12.330
what they do in Canada, which is they slowly

00:14:12.330 --> 00:14:14.649
start clamping down on your rights. Right. And

00:14:14.649 --> 00:14:16.830
England starts arresting people for social media

00:14:16.830 --> 00:14:21.710
posts. Well, you know, hopefully the free speech

00:14:21.710 --> 00:14:24.649
stuff is so ingrained in who we are as a people.

00:14:24.710 --> 00:14:26.730
Because England, like at the end of the day,

00:14:26.830 --> 00:14:28.850
it's not like that country was built on that

00:14:28.850 --> 00:14:31.269
principle. This says that they would only lose

00:14:31.269 --> 00:14:35.519
two House seats. It says... California would

00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:38.179
lose, I called it Canada. It was like Freudian.

00:14:38.340 --> 00:14:41.279
Would lose an order of one to two house seats

00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:44.539
if people in the state without legal status were

00:14:44.539 --> 00:14:47.320
not counted in the census used for appointment

00:14:47.320 --> 00:14:52.100
based on recent expert simulations. All right.

00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:57.779
Here's the thing. How many illegals are in California?

00:14:58.059 --> 00:15:00.379
Let's find that out. What is the estimated number?

00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:02.399
Put that in there, Jamie. What's the estimated

00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:05.450
number of? illegals in California. I don't know

00:15:05.450 --> 00:15:07.789
where I'd be without this kind of shit. I'm so

00:15:07.789 --> 00:15:10.610
hooked on using like perplexity for any question

00:15:10.610 --> 00:15:12.950
I have all throughout the day. It's like my smart

00:15:12.950 --> 00:15:14.929
friend. It's like better Wikipedia because it

00:15:14.929 --> 00:15:18.169
can really like you can use it as like way better

00:15:18.169 --> 00:15:20.649
than Wikipedia because it scans the entire internet

00:15:20.649 --> 00:15:23.309
and sometimes it does catch some bullshit articles

00:15:23.309 --> 00:15:25.169
in there and says it might be this and you're

00:15:25.169 --> 00:15:27.090
like wait a minute let me go to that article

00:15:27.090 --> 00:15:29.029
that might be bullshit because it's only pulling

00:15:29.029 --> 00:15:31.830
from the internet right? Undocumented 2 .8 million

00:15:31.830 --> 00:15:35.990
in 2007. Well, yeah, that would be around two

00:15:35.990 --> 00:15:37.370
seats, right? Because there's like 30 million

00:15:37.370 --> 00:15:40.090
in California. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:40.549 --> 00:15:42.190
That makes a difference. And then you do the

00:15:42.190 --> 00:15:44.730
same thing in Seattle. You do the same thing

00:15:44.730 --> 00:15:47.610
in wherever, you know, places you have massive

00:15:47.610 --> 00:15:51.909
numbers of undocumented people. Ohio is a big

00:15:51.909 --> 00:15:53.929
one. You know, this is one of the reasons why

00:15:53.929 --> 00:15:56.090
they had this thing where, like, why are there

00:15:56.090 --> 00:15:58.610
so many Haitians in Ohio? What do you think?

00:15:59.109 --> 00:16:01.730
I think they just decided Ohio's a spot and they

00:16:01.730 --> 00:16:05.309
all had a group WhatsApp chat. No, probably somebody's

00:16:05.309 --> 00:16:07.029
moving them there because it's a swing state.

00:16:07.289 --> 00:16:10.929
It was funny when the Somalian thing, when Waltz

00:16:10.929 --> 00:16:14.169
was like, this is white supremacy. It was crazy.

00:16:14.509 --> 00:16:17.110
But it's like, hey, but then who's the most supreme

00:16:17.110 --> 00:16:19.500
white man in the state? Governor? You bitch.

00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:24.740
Like, that's a crazy Freudian slip. But it's

00:16:24.740 --> 00:16:27.419
also like, what a crazy attempt at misdirection.

00:16:27.480 --> 00:16:30.159
White men commit most of the crimes. Yeah, that's

00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:31.120
part, I think I told you, that's part of the

00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:33.240
reason why I think, like, minority groups are

00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:35.899
shifting away because it's like, one, I don't

00:16:35.899 --> 00:16:37.779
think that's something, the whole victimhood

00:16:37.779 --> 00:16:39.179
mentality, that's not something that minority

00:16:39.179 --> 00:16:43.389
groups really experience or like. value especially

00:16:43.389 --> 00:16:45.769
not minority groups that are immigrants that

00:16:45.769 --> 00:16:48.190
are in the middle of the hustle right we got

00:16:48.190 --> 00:16:49.850
to go to work like we got to overcome that's

00:16:49.850 --> 00:16:51.730
the whole point regardless of the hand you're

00:16:51.730 --> 00:16:53.909
dealt you got to just play it and overcome and

00:16:53.909 --> 00:16:55.669
so that victimhood mentality really kind of pushes

00:16:55.669 --> 00:16:59.610
people away from the left i think in that manner

00:16:59.610 --> 00:17:03.070
and then like you know when biden was like you

00:17:03.070 --> 00:17:06.750
know uh if you uh don't vote for me you're not

00:17:06.750 --> 00:17:08.920
black it's like that's kind of how they That's

00:17:08.920 --> 00:17:11.599
kind of how they view the minority vote. It's

00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:13.359
a hostage vote. It's like, vote for us or else.

00:17:13.480 --> 00:17:15.640
Yeah. It's like, no one likes that energy coming

00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:17.859
towards them. And they'll lash out and go in

00:17:17.859 --> 00:17:20.059
a different direction. Such a wild thing to say.

00:17:20.140 --> 00:17:24.240
I mean, unbelievably funny. Unbelievably funny.

00:17:25.559 --> 00:17:28.799
Man. It's just, I can't believe he fucking said

00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:32.539
it. He's so, and he said it without. fucking

00:17:32.539 --> 00:17:35.640
crazy pulled back face and it's like this is

00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:38.220
madness that whatever they did to him to make

00:17:38.220 --> 00:17:40.799
him look try to look younger yeah it just doesn't

00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:44.799
work kids No, oh my god, all that. We know what

00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:47.960
you used to look like. You're on TV all the time

00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:50.400
and all of a sudden you have a completely different

00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:54.000
face? Like your face is different. Everything's

00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:55.819
pulled back and it doesn't look like anybody

00:17:55.819 --> 00:17:59.259
normal that's 80 years old. No, all plastic surgery

00:17:59.259 --> 00:18:01.279
ages you look like an alien when you're old.

00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:03.640
There's just no way around it. I don't know who

00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:05.539
lip fillers are for because I don't know any

00:18:05.539 --> 00:18:08.569
guy who's like, yeah, I like that look. Like

00:18:08.569 --> 00:18:11.730
that much, but it's crazy how they age. The facial

00:18:11.730 --> 00:18:13.769
fillers are crazy too because sometimes those

00:18:13.769 --> 00:18:15.549
things become a problem and then you got to get

00:18:15.549 --> 00:18:18.190
them removed. Well, now they're doing that buckle

00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:21.849
fat thing where they look like ghouls. Why would

00:18:21.849 --> 00:18:23.609
they do that? Why would they take fat out of

00:18:23.609 --> 00:18:26.029
their face? Fat in your face is what makes you

00:18:26.029 --> 00:18:28.190
look youthful. What are those ladies going to

00:18:28.190 --> 00:18:29.849
look like when they hit their 60s? They're going

00:18:29.849 --> 00:18:33.140
to look like ghosts. Maybe. Because their face

00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:35.220
will be all sunken in. By the time they're 60,

00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:38.779
I think medicine is going to be at a level where

00:18:38.779 --> 00:18:41.019
they're going to be able to reverse aging. They're

00:18:41.019 --> 00:18:42.740
pretty close to being able to do that. They've

00:18:42.740 --> 00:18:44.819
already done some stuff with mice, and they've

00:18:44.819 --> 00:18:47.039
done some stuff where they're understanding,

00:18:47.259 --> 00:18:51.380
like, what genes are causing you to have these

00:18:51.380 --> 00:18:53.519
problems, what things can be done to mitigate

00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:57.559
it. And they're treating aging not like an inevitable

00:18:57.559 --> 00:18:59.839
aspect of life, but as, like, a disease that

00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:02.319
you get over time. Right. Instead of, like, accepting

00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:04.259
the fact that your body is going to age at a

00:19:04.259 --> 00:19:06.680
very specific rate, and then when you're 60 it's

00:19:06.680 --> 00:19:08.279
going to suck, when you're 70 it'll suck worse.

00:19:08.599 --> 00:19:10.930
Instead, it's like, what's causing it? that let's

00:19:10.930 --> 00:19:14.750
reverse what's causing it and you know essentially

00:19:14.750 --> 00:19:19.069
if you can do that and I think they can if it's

00:19:19.069 --> 00:19:20.690
they can't do it now they're gonna be able to

00:19:20.690 --> 00:19:24.089
do it whoa Jesus what happened okay but this

00:19:24.089 --> 00:19:27.049
is like day one this lady just had surgery popped

00:19:27.049 --> 00:19:30.970
up on my feet a few times she's 69 almost 70

00:19:30.970 --> 00:19:36.269
holy shit that lady does not look even close

00:19:36.269 --> 00:19:41.490
to 69 or 70 Is that true? Is that Dr. Crazy?

00:19:42.250 --> 00:19:44.529
He's making it up. She's like, I'm fucking 40,

00:19:44.630 --> 00:19:47.630
asshole! It just feels like one of those human

00:19:47.630 --> 00:19:50.450
dolls. What did she look like before? There you

00:19:50.450 --> 00:19:55.529
go. Whoa, that's the same lady? Bro, that's crazy.

00:19:55.630 --> 00:19:57.589
You could pick her up at a bar, and then you're

00:19:57.589 --> 00:20:00.950
like, why do you smell old? God, that's crazy.

00:20:01.349 --> 00:20:03.990
You got that old people smell? The mothball smell?

00:20:04.009 --> 00:20:07.349
Just sprayed. perfume all over their body. I

00:20:07.349 --> 00:20:10.630
remember there was this episode of that show

00:20:10.630 --> 00:20:12.789
Autopsy. Did you ever see that show, Autopsy?

00:20:13.230 --> 00:20:15.490
There's this guy, Michael Badden, and he's a

00:20:15.490 --> 00:20:19.009
famous forensic scientist that examines cases

00:20:19.009 --> 00:20:21.710
and says, this is actually a murder, and he catches

00:20:21.710 --> 00:20:24.750
people. And one of them was this guy who was

00:20:24.750 --> 00:20:29.900
really crazy, and his wife died. All of his wife

00:20:29.900 --> 00:20:33.700
or a lady he knew died. I forget the circumstances,

00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:38.759
but he kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned

00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:42.460
some kind of an artificial vagina that he attached

00:20:42.460 --> 00:20:46.519
to the corpse and then had cases of perfume.

00:20:47.769 --> 00:20:51.250
And so apparently he just kept fucking it. Is

00:20:51.250 --> 00:20:53.349
this like an older story? Yeah, it's like some

00:20:53.349 --> 00:20:55.329
Cuban doctor, and it was like some girl he fell

00:20:55.329 --> 00:20:57.329
in love with, and then she died. Yeah, yeah,

00:20:57.430 --> 00:20:59.730
yeah. But it wasn't his wife, right? No, it was

00:20:59.730 --> 00:21:02.549
like in a plaster case thing, and it was, yeah.

00:21:02.769 --> 00:21:05.869
People are fucking crazy. It had a mask on it,

00:21:05.910 --> 00:21:09.150
so it was like a corpse that was like years old

00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:12.869
with a mask on it and an artificial vagina and

00:21:12.869 --> 00:21:16.930
cases and cases of perfume. So this guy's just

00:21:16.930 --> 00:21:19.470
fucking covering this thing, perfuming, getting

00:21:19.470 --> 00:21:22.650
his fuck on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to find

00:21:22.650 --> 00:21:25.829
the picture of it. He even inserted a paper tube

00:21:25.829 --> 00:21:28.230
into her decrepit corpse to serve as a vagina

00:21:28.230 --> 00:21:29.750
for making love. Yeah, that's what I'm talking

00:21:29.750 --> 00:21:33.029
about. That's the fake vagina. I think it was,

00:21:33.109 --> 00:21:35.869
yeah, it was like something he made. Like he

00:21:35.869 --> 00:21:38.309
made something. He made a thing to fuck. People

00:21:38.309 --> 00:21:40.589
go through lengths to get their rocks off. That's

00:21:40.589 --> 00:21:42.970
crazy. That's like ingenuity. That's like, man,

00:21:43.029 --> 00:21:45.170
if you had that energy towards anything positive.

00:21:45.549 --> 00:21:47.750
You could get to Mars. Yeah, you could figure

00:21:47.750 --> 00:21:51.089
stuff out. Find us a photo of the corpse. There

00:21:51.089 --> 00:21:54.130
we go. Yeah. Oh, no, that's Carl Tanzler. That's

00:21:54.130 --> 00:21:55.549
a different guy. Oh, it's a different one? But

00:21:55.549 --> 00:21:59.430
he did the same thing. Oh, God. Yeah. Key West.

00:21:59.930 --> 00:22:03.549
Same thing. Secretly took her body or used French

00:22:03.549 --> 00:22:07.210
plaster to preserve her skin, rigged wires and

00:22:07.210 --> 00:22:10.230
hangers to support her skeleton, and then pumped

00:22:10.230 --> 00:22:13.390
a continuous stream of perfume to mask the scent

00:22:13.390 --> 00:22:17.150
of decay. Disturbing arrangement continued for

00:22:17.150 --> 00:22:20.009
seven years until it was finally discovered by

00:22:20.009 --> 00:22:24.579
her sister. Oh, God. What a horror story that

00:22:24.579 --> 00:22:27.259
is. Oh, God. You find your sister's body, and

00:22:27.259 --> 00:22:31.339
there's a continual stream of perfume to keep

00:22:31.339 --> 00:22:33.220
people from knowing there's a rotted body up

00:22:33.220 --> 00:22:36.160
there. Oh, God. He did it for years. Mm -hmm.

00:22:36.859 --> 00:22:39.539
God, men are fucked. Yeah, well, you know, any

00:22:39.539 --> 00:22:42.079
sort of weird predator will end up in that situation

00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:45.019
where they can do their thing, right? So if you

00:22:45.019 --> 00:22:46.599
fuck dead bodies, you're going to be in a corpse.

00:22:48.019 --> 00:22:50.599
There's like female pedophiles just become middle

00:22:50.599 --> 00:22:52.359
school teachers. That was in the 30s. That's

00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:57.359
what they do. Jeez. Carl Tanzler. Oh, God. And

00:22:57.359 --> 00:22:59.740
that's Dr. Michael Badden, the HBO show. That

00:22:59.740 --> 00:23:02.619
show is awesome, man. Oh, and he did Epstein's

00:23:02.619 --> 00:23:05.940
autopsy. Yeah, he did. He's one of the ones that

00:23:05.940 --> 00:23:09.900
said that the wounds were consistent with ligature

00:23:09.900 --> 00:23:12.259
strangulation, not with hanging. Yeah, we talked

00:23:12.259 --> 00:23:15.279
about this last time. So I recorded my special

00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:17.920
on the 25th of October, and I have a bunch of

00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:20.460
Epstein jokes in there. And in the meantime,

00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:22.740
they said they released the files, and I was

00:23:22.740 --> 00:23:24.400
like, oh, no, but they still haven't released

00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:25.799
them. And I was like, oh, thank God, the jokes

00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:29.539
still work. I was like, oh, my God, thank God.

00:23:31.330 --> 00:23:33.269
At least two separate times where I bring them

00:23:33.269 --> 00:23:35.549
up because it was even bigger back then. Well,

00:23:35.630 --> 00:23:37.309
it's going to go on for a long time, I suspect.

00:23:37.769 --> 00:23:39.690
I mean, they said they released them, but what

00:23:39.690 --> 00:23:41.369
did they release? No, they're still not all out

00:23:41.369 --> 00:23:43.549
yet. But what did they release? Yeah, yeah. The

00:23:43.549 --> 00:23:46.890
whole thing's weird. It reminds me of that Onion

00:23:46.890 --> 00:23:50.049
article where they're like, oh, CIA realizes

00:23:50.049 --> 00:23:52.069
they've been using a black highlighter this entire

00:23:52.069 --> 00:23:55.910
time. It's like that. It's like, oh, okay, you

00:23:55.910 --> 00:23:58.809
just blacked out pages. Redacted the shit out

00:23:58.809 --> 00:24:01.789
of everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did they

00:24:01.789 --> 00:24:03.509
release? Did they release something recently?

00:24:03.849 --> 00:24:05.269
No, they haven't released anything in a minute.

00:24:05.390 --> 00:24:06.769
They had that initial release where everything

00:24:06.769 --> 00:24:08.130
was blacked out and it was that picture of Winnie

00:24:08.130 --> 00:24:09.930
the Pooh, which was hilarious. But isn't there

00:24:09.930 --> 00:24:12.210
talk about some new releases that are happening

00:24:12.210 --> 00:24:14.450
soon? Have they? It feels like everything's been

00:24:14.450 --> 00:24:16.289
drowned out by everything else been going on.

00:24:16.329 --> 00:24:19.490
With the Somalians and the ice shooting, it feels

00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:21.769
like that's completely drowned out. Anything

00:24:21.769 --> 00:24:24.190
about it. I think some of that's on purpose.

00:24:24.450 --> 00:24:28.410
Oh, 100%. 27 minutes to go. Update story. A federal

00:24:28.410 --> 00:24:31.079
judge blocked. The effort to force the release

00:24:31.079 --> 00:24:40.700
of more files. Okay. The federal judge. We said

00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:42.740
it a little bit wrong. Is the federal judge blocked?

00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:46.779
the lawmakers' effort to force the DOJ to release

00:24:46.779 --> 00:24:48.880
the Epstein file. So they're trying to force

00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:52.380
the DOJ. They already were forced to. They've

00:24:52.380 --> 00:24:54.539
missed deadlines. And a federal judge blocked

00:24:54.539 --> 00:24:57.940
them from forcing them to release it. So a federal

00:24:57.940 --> 00:25:00.339
judge said, no, you can't force them to release

00:25:00.339 --> 00:25:05.400
it, even though you campaigned on it. Yeah. Even

00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:07.619
though you ran on it. Even though you stood outside

00:25:07.619 --> 00:25:10.079
of that courthouse with a bunch of binders. We've

00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:14.000
got it. He ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to

00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:17.599
appoint an outside expert. Oh, I see. Okay, that's

00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:19.400
a little different. So the federal judge Wednesday

00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:21.420
ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an

00:25:21.420 --> 00:25:23.400
outside expert to ensure the Justice Department

00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:25.740
complies with a law that makes all files pertaining

00:25:25.740 --> 00:25:27.579
to the prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein available

00:25:27.579 --> 00:25:29.759
for public view. Okay, that's different. Yeah,

00:25:29.779 --> 00:25:32.779
but still, the law... that they play to make

00:25:32.779 --> 00:25:34.940
sure it still can't come out is pretty crazy

00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:37.940
impressive. I don't have the jurisdiction. But

00:25:37.940 --> 00:25:41.559
if you're a federal judge, you can't step outside

00:25:41.559 --> 00:25:45.279
of your boundaries. Don't they kind of just do

00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:47.259
that sometimes, though? Yeah, but you're not

00:25:47.259 --> 00:25:49.819
supposed to. Just because some of them are unethical

00:25:49.819 --> 00:25:52.259
or some of them... Right, that's fair. Yeah,

00:25:52.299 --> 00:25:54.099
I don't understand all this, so I'm going to

00:25:54.099 --> 00:25:56.960
be charitable about it. I'm going to be charitable

00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:59.279
about it, but I just don't understand how anybody

00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:01.960
can go to jail for sex trafficking when you don't

00:26:01.960 --> 00:26:05.420
have anybody they sex traffic to. That don't

00:26:05.420 --> 00:26:08.099
make any sense. If I was Ghislaine's lawyer,

00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:11.819
I'd be like, to who? To who? How did he not do

00:26:11.819 --> 00:26:13.700
that? You want to tell me there's some sort of

00:26:13.700 --> 00:26:16.380
a compromise trial. How do you not have a lawyer

00:26:16.380 --> 00:26:20.220
that goes, who did she sex traffic to? Right.

00:26:20.380 --> 00:26:22.299
That's clearly there's some sort of backdoor

00:26:22.299 --> 00:26:24.420
deal that was like, hey, because you spend this

00:26:24.420 --> 00:26:26.339
time in jail and we won't kill you. Well, of

00:26:26.339 --> 00:26:29.619
course. Yeah. Or also she's working with them.

00:26:29.619 --> 00:26:32.940
Right. How do you how do you have I mean, in

00:26:32.940 --> 00:26:35.119
any way, shape or form, how do you have a person

00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:38.119
convicted of a crime when there's like especially

00:26:38.119 --> 00:26:41.880
that kind of a crime where there's a person that

00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:45.220
hires you or gives you money or that you use

00:26:45.220 --> 00:26:48.319
to get influence from and then you sex traffic

00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:50.609
to them? So there's another person involved,

00:26:50.849 --> 00:26:52.730
and that other person is completely eliminated

00:26:52.730 --> 00:26:55.490
from the trial because what? Because they're

00:26:55.490 --> 00:26:57.750
billionaires? Because they're heads of state?

00:26:57.990 --> 00:26:59.230
Yeah, they're powerful enough. Because they're

00:26:59.230 --> 00:27:03.069
prominent scientists? How is that okay? That

00:27:03.069 --> 00:27:04.970
doesn't even make sense that you could get through

00:27:04.970 --> 00:27:07.869
a whole trial like that. Yeah, but I think that's

00:27:07.869 --> 00:27:09.690
just a – I was saying this earlier. I think this

00:27:09.690 --> 00:27:12.289
is just a function of government, these intense

00:27:12.289 --> 00:27:15.150
blackmail sex rings that everyone just kind of

00:27:15.150 --> 00:27:17.619
gets away with it. Well, yeah, it seems like

00:27:17.619 --> 00:27:18.519
that's how they run things. It just happens over

00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:20.299
and over again. But it's like, look at it this

00:27:20.299 --> 00:27:25.259
way. Imagine if you were selling hash, and you

00:27:25.259 --> 00:27:28.220
had pounds and pounds of hash at your house,

00:27:28.299 --> 00:27:30.700
and you've been selling hash, and you got caught

00:27:30.700 --> 00:27:35.240
selling hash. They charge you with distribution,

00:27:35.319 --> 00:27:37.579
and you're like, okay, but distributed to who?

00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:40.460
Because you're only selling to rich, famous people.

00:27:40.559 --> 00:27:43.059
You're only selling to heads of J .P. Morgan.

00:27:43.740 --> 00:27:45.759
You're selling all your hash to those guys. And

00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:47.039
they're like, well, who did he sell the hash

00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:50.680
to? Nobody. Somebody bought $100 million worth

00:27:50.680 --> 00:27:54.359
of hash. And there's nobody? You have no purse?

00:27:54.440 --> 00:27:55.880
That doesn't make any sense. There's no crime.

00:27:56.059 --> 00:27:58.900
So he didn't really sell it. You could say he

00:27:58.900 --> 00:28:02.059
possesses it, but maybe intent to distribute.

00:28:02.420 --> 00:28:04.279
But if you want to get him for actual distribution

00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:06.960
and selling of hash, he's got to sell it to somebody.

00:28:07.940 --> 00:28:11.140
Man. At least an undercover agent. Right. But

00:28:11.140 --> 00:28:13.319
like in this situation, it's like, did we ever

00:28:13.319 --> 00:28:15.039
really think anyone was really going to go to

00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:17.720
jail for this? I feel like with continual constant

00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:21.960
pressure, they have to, it has to slowly leak

00:28:21.960 --> 00:28:25.259
out. Man, I wish I was that optimistic about

00:28:25.259 --> 00:28:28.259
it. They've done a good job of, they've done

00:28:28.259 --> 00:28:31.130
a good job of it. keeping the names out of the

00:28:31.130 --> 00:28:32.890
press even after they said they would leak them.

00:28:32.970 --> 00:28:36.769
It says here, FBI and DOJ records from 2019 reference

00:28:36.769 --> 00:28:39.430
about 10 individuals described as an alleged

00:28:39.430 --> 00:28:42.690
Epstein co -conspirators, including Maxwell and

00:28:42.690 --> 00:28:46.470
French modeling agent Jean -Luc Brunel, who died

00:28:46.470 --> 00:28:49.150
in French custody in 2022. That's a way to get

00:28:49.150 --> 00:28:50.990
out of it, too. Be like, oh, she sold it to a

00:28:50.990 --> 00:28:54.039
dead guy. Yeah, but it's also, this is not saying

00:28:54.039 --> 00:28:57.480
that she sold it to them. They're co -conspirators.

00:28:57.599 --> 00:29:00.660
So they were probably involved in facilitating.

00:29:01.099 --> 00:29:03.079
They were probably involved in acquiring these

00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:05.440
girls, making connections, because that guy owned

00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:08.430
a modeling agency. So he's or he's a modeling

00:29:08.430 --> 00:29:10.730
agent. Right. Right. Right. So that guy's getting

00:29:10.730 --> 00:29:13.170
him girls. So he's a co -conspirator. It's not

00:29:13.170 --> 00:29:15.910
saying that he was John. You know, he was a John

00:29:15.910 --> 00:29:18.849
that was getting the girls. He was a co -conspirator.

00:29:18.869 --> 00:29:21.430
So there's at least 10 individuals who are also

00:29:21.430 --> 00:29:23.809
which makes sense. If you have this giant blackmail

00:29:23.809 --> 00:29:25.470
ring, it's not going to be like one guy. Right.

00:29:25.529 --> 00:29:30.309
I also find it funny. The whole we mark that

00:29:30.309 --> 00:29:32.529
Mark Epstein guy, his just brother came out of

00:29:32.529 --> 00:29:34.740
nowhere. For like a little bit. For a little

00:29:34.740 --> 00:29:36.579
bit. And then he's like, fuck this. It's like,

00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:38.079
wait, first of all, what do you mean a brother

00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:40.420
that just knows everything that happened? Because

00:29:40.420 --> 00:29:43.000
he came out and said that wasn't like the email

00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:45.920
that was like, oh, Clinton, Trump sucked Clinton's

00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:47.980
dick. He was like, no, Bubba wasn't Clinton.

00:29:48.099 --> 00:29:50.119
But you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick.

00:29:50.380 --> 00:29:53.220
You just were like, it wasn't Clinton. Trump

00:29:53.220 --> 00:29:55.559
sucked some guy named Bubba's dick. Some truck

00:29:55.559 --> 00:29:58.099
driver. What were you just showing us? And then

00:29:58.099 --> 00:30:00.480
he disappeared. That a few of those people were

00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:03.589
protected by the 2008 - non -prosecution agreement.

00:30:04.849 --> 00:30:08.750
Oh, that little slap on the wrist protected a

00:30:08.750 --> 00:30:10.529
bunch of people. Right. And so they continue

00:30:10.529 --> 00:30:13.009
to be protected? Is that the idea? That's where

00:30:13.009 --> 00:30:16.210
no, I don't know if anybody knows. Nothing's

00:30:16.210 --> 00:30:18.990
better in law than a technicality, huh? That's

00:30:18.990 --> 00:30:21.470
a slippery one. So what did Epstein's brother

00:30:21.470 --> 00:30:24.029
wind up saying? He said it wasn't Bubba, which

00:30:24.029 --> 00:30:27.009
implied that he knew exactly what was going on

00:30:27.009 --> 00:30:28.190
on the island the whole time, and it was just

00:30:28.190 --> 00:30:29.869
out and about. But he's still saying that Trump

00:30:29.869 --> 00:30:33.559
sucks someone's dick? Yeah. And then he just

00:30:33.559 --> 00:30:39.140
straight up disappeared. Where the fuck did he

00:30:39.140 --> 00:30:42.299
go? We just learned about him. Man, I believe

00:30:42.299 --> 00:30:43.980
a lot of things. I do not believe Trump sucks

00:30:43.980 --> 00:30:46.200
someone's dick. Because he doesn't do drugs.

00:30:46.420 --> 00:30:47.900
You know what I mean? When Charlie Sheen was

00:30:47.900 --> 00:30:49.859
saying he sucks some guy's dick, like, okay.

00:30:50.380 --> 00:30:52.500
Charlie was doing so much crack. It was out of

00:30:52.500 --> 00:30:54.339
his fucking mind. I feel like that level of power

00:30:54.339 --> 00:30:58.940
is a drug at that point. I mean, maybe. I don't

00:30:58.940 --> 00:31:01.930
think so. I don't know. It's a very fun world

00:31:01.930 --> 00:31:02.049
to believe that he did. I don't think it's going

00:31:02.049 --> 00:31:03.849
to get a guy like Trump to suck a dick. It just

00:31:03.849 --> 00:31:06.130
doesn't seem... That's a guy who's fucked up

00:31:06.130 --> 00:31:08.490
on drugs. That's like when Diddy was doing it.

00:31:08.529 --> 00:31:11.410
They were all doing drugs. It's a drug thing.

00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:14.799
Right? Unless you're a gay man, it's a drug thing

00:31:14.799 --> 00:31:16.819
to go around sucking dicks. So we're assuming

00:31:16.819 --> 00:31:19.200
that Trump's been hiding the gay the entire time.

00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:21.819
Not a chance in hell. That would be the most

00:31:21.819 --> 00:31:23.759
impressive hide of all time. Also, why would

00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:25.000
he do that? Yeah, there's no reason. If you're

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:28.359
open and you're gay, side with the fucking Democrats.

00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:31.579
That's the move. You can probably do all the

00:31:31.579 --> 00:31:34.059
exact same things when you get into office. It's

00:31:34.059 --> 00:31:35.660
all horseshit. I'm trying to follow up a question

00:31:35.660 --> 00:31:38.380
that does not know who's in charge of Epstein's

00:31:38.380 --> 00:31:43.779
estate. It's thinking. Look at it. Your laptop's

00:31:43.779 --> 00:31:48.099
about to blow up. Fucking drones about to hit

00:31:48.099 --> 00:31:50.599
the building. The mothership's going to be on

00:31:50.599 --> 00:31:53.920
fire tonight when we get there. Jesus Christ,

00:31:54.059 --> 00:31:58.599
man. It's so funny. It's an attempted cover -up

00:31:58.599 --> 00:31:59.980
of corruption that would have been successful

00:31:59.980 --> 00:32:02.839
in the 70s. If they had pulled this shit off

00:32:02.839 --> 00:32:06.279
in the 70s or the 80s... Gone. Well, it's the

00:32:06.279 --> 00:32:09.019
whole Franklin scandal. Sure. Yeah, they killed

00:32:09.019 --> 00:32:11.740
that reporter. Yes. They killed that reporter.

00:32:11.779 --> 00:32:15.579
There was definitely some... Yep. Underage sexual

00:32:15.579 --> 00:32:18.299
thing going on there. And they were like dead.

00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:20.220
You and your son. That's what you get for fucking

00:32:20.220 --> 00:32:22.819
around. Yeah, man. We'll kill both of you. Well,

00:32:23.420 --> 00:32:25.539
you know, Tucker's talked about this and a few

00:32:25.539 --> 00:32:26.799
other people have talked about this. There's

00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:30.000
a bunch of secretly gay politicians. Oh, yeah.

00:32:30.220 --> 00:32:33.940
And then there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles

00:32:33.940 --> 00:32:35.900
as well. Yeah, I mean, definitely. For sure.

00:32:36.420 --> 00:32:39.660
I pulled that once on Bottom of the Barrel, just

00:32:39.660 --> 00:32:42.140
secretly gay Republicans. That was my thing.

00:32:42.259 --> 00:32:44.579
And then I was like. Can you imagine how good

00:32:44.579 --> 00:32:49.220
that sex feels? Especially after you spent all

00:32:49.220 --> 00:32:51.880
day being like, it's bad, it's wrong. And then

00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:55.140
that sex is extra hot. Yeah, because you're going

00:32:55.140 --> 00:32:57.980
against God and your party at one time. Some

00:32:57.980 --> 00:33:04.289
twink with his converse on. Yeah. And then you

00:33:04.289 --> 00:33:06.069
go back and be like, family value. Like that

00:33:06.069 --> 00:33:09.869
level of... I think there's a lot of them that

00:33:09.869 --> 00:33:12.369
are putting on a show. A lot of them. They're

00:33:12.369 --> 00:33:14.470
putting on an act and you're never going to get

00:33:14.470 --> 00:33:16.349
to know who they really are. And that's why when

00:33:16.349 --> 00:33:19.690
something comes out, it's like shocking. They're

00:33:19.690 --> 00:33:23.089
all fucking... weirdos. They're all weirdos.

00:33:23.109 --> 00:33:24.809
You have to be a weirdo to want to run the company.

00:33:24.869 --> 00:33:27.490
Or you have to be this amazing person. It's two

00:33:27.490 --> 00:33:29.349
options. You have to be Gandhi or you have to

00:33:29.349 --> 00:33:32.029
be a weirdo. You know what I mean? And speaker

00:33:32.029 --> 00:33:33.349
pedophiles. We had a speaker in the house that

00:33:33.349 --> 00:33:35.190
was a pedophile for like eight years. That's

00:33:35.190 --> 00:33:39.630
right. A real one. A real deal pedophile. A real

00:33:39.630 --> 00:33:42.329
deal convicted pedophile. What was his name again?

00:33:43.120 --> 00:33:44.400
Hastert? I think it might have been Hastert.

00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:46.319
I think so. I feel like we should look that up.

00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:48.619
Let's look that up. I don't want to be like,

00:33:48.660 --> 00:33:50.480
oh, Hastert was like a nice guy and we're calling

00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:52.700
him Red Bull. Speak of the house. He was involved

00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:55.900
in a very big scandal of it, right? Yeah, Dennis

00:33:55.900 --> 00:33:59.299
Hastert. Yeah. It was like some Sandusky shit.

00:33:59.339 --> 00:34:01.259
It was at a school that he was teaching at. Exactly.

00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:05.740
Allegations that Senate. Senate candidate Roy

00:34:05.740 --> 00:34:08.420
Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning, and

00:34:08.420 --> 00:34:10.440
sexually assaulting high school -aged girls.

00:34:10.579 --> 00:34:13.340
It was shocking, but not without precedent. There

00:34:13.340 --> 00:34:15.139
have been plenty of congressmen who carried on

00:34:15.139 --> 00:34:17.260
sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas

00:34:17.260 --> 00:34:19.340
Jefferson. That was back when people died when

00:34:19.340 --> 00:34:23.260
they were 18. Strom Thurmond, perhaps more dastardly.

00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:26.480
Illinois Rep. Dennis Hastert served as Speaker

00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:29.039
of the House from 1999 to 2007. And a little

00:34:29.039 --> 00:34:30.639
further down the line, and additionally agreed

00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:33.019
that Hastert sodomized a fourth -grade boy in

00:34:33.019 --> 00:34:35.420
a school bathroom and threatened him if he reported

00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:37.179
assault. That's like Sandusky stuff. Jesus Christ.

00:34:37.559 --> 00:34:40.239
Since the statute of limitation had expired on

00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:42.900
these crimes, Hastert was instead convicted of

00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:45.619
evading bank reporting requirements in order

00:34:45.619 --> 00:34:49.480
to secretly pay off his victims. That's so funny.

00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:52.699
He served 15 months in prison. That's it. Holy

00:34:52.699 --> 00:34:55.400
shit. That's so crazy to pay off your victims

00:34:55.400 --> 00:34:59.710
and not do it in cash. Yeah, that's a lot of

00:34:59.710 --> 00:35:02.489
money. That's fair. I bet it was quite a bit

00:35:02.489 --> 00:35:05.670
of money. Holy shit, dude. Yeah, and just speak

00:35:05.670 --> 00:35:07.369
of the house. So if there's one kid that got

00:35:07.369 --> 00:35:10.429
sought, a fourth grade boy in a school bathroom,

00:35:10.829 --> 00:35:13.469
how many more did he do that to? How many just

00:35:13.469 --> 00:35:16.449
don't want the shame of it coming out publicly?

00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:18.489
How many guys are struggling with it right now?

00:35:18.530 --> 00:35:20.269
They're 35 years old. They don't want to tell

00:35:20.269 --> 00:35:23.010
that story. Right. That ruined their life because

00:35:23.010 --> 00:35:26.070
the speaker of the house fucked them. Crazy.

00:35:26.510 --> 00:35:31.190
Crazy. Crazy. So he's not alone. No. Right? No.

00:35:31.349 --> 00:35:33.070
That's the Franklin scandal, right? And there's

00:35:33.070 --> 00:35:35.989
no way that wasn't uncovered beforehand by people.

00:35:36.230 --> 00:35:37.949
Just the way the political machine works. But

00:35:37.949 --> 00:35:40.570
that's sort of like, you get me for this, I'll

00:35:40.570 --> 00:35:42.190
get you for this, so you keep that under wraps.

00:35:42.210 --> 00:35:43.949
You just have that in your back pocket. I think

00:35:43.949 --> 00:35:46.849
it's just part of that game that they play. Oh,

00:35:46.849 --> 00:35:48.989
for sure. It's like Game of Thrones. For sure.

00:35:49.130 --> 00:35:51.750
It really is. It really is like Game of Thrones.

00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:56.320
It's just whorehouses. And also House of Cards,

00:35:56.440 --> 00:35:59.500
right? It sucks that Kevin Spacey got busted

00:35:59.500 --> 00:36:02.840
because that show ruled. I know, right? But,

00:36:02.900 --> 00:36:05.159
you know, it's so funny because thinking back

00:36:05.159 --> 00:36:07.219
on it, like if you looked at movies, my genuine

00:36:07.219 --> 00:36:09.980
take before he got busted for this is he plays

00:36:09.980 --> 00:36:12.380
the greatest villains. Yes. He's like the greatest

00:36:12.380 --> 00:36:14.260
villain actor of all time. He's the greatest

00:36:14.260 --> 00:36:16.940
creep. Mm -hmm. He's like a brilliant creep.

00:36:17.500 --> 00:36:20.079
Like, with darkness behind his eyes. Oh, yeah,

00:36:20.079 --> 00:36:22.820
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then can turn it on the

00:36:22.820 --> 00:36:25.519
charm, that southern charm for the camera. How

00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:28.539
about when he did that fucking weird video in

00:36:28.539 --> 00:36:32.340
front of the fireplace? Oh, dude. Like, in character?

00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:35.519
Right after. Kill him with kindness. Right after

00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:38.320
the witness to his case died? Like, another witness

00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:41.460
to his case died? Yeah. Like, what? People were

00:36:41.460 --> 00:36:43.719
dropping her, like, flies around space either.

00:36:43.820 --> 00:36:47.940
Bro. Crazy. Real deal villain shit. acting out

00:36:47.940 --> 00:36:52.639
the literal plot lines as the character, being

00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:55.840
the character while he's tending the fire. Goes

00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:57.920
to show you, you can still be a, I mean, he's

00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:00.340
still a genius artist. Amazing. Yeah, just like

00:37:00.340 --> 00:37:02.619
a wow. Amazing. And in any other time, he would

00:37:02.619 --> 00:37:05.260
have never gotten caught. Mm -hmm. That's just

00:37:05.260 --> 00:37:07.360
how the machine worked. Yeah. I mean, he's just

00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.719
one of those guys that got an immense amount

00:37:09.719 --> 00:37:11.900
of power and he was just a dick grabber. Like,

00:37:11.900 --> 00:37:14.909
give me that dick. And I bet a lot of guys are

00:37:14.909 --> 00:37:17.610
like, okay. That's the problem with wild pitches.

00:37:17.909 --> 00:37:21.050
You fucking swing at every pitch. You're going

00:37:21.050 --> 00:37:25.210
to hit a few. But he's probably, for all these

00:37:25.210 --> 00:37:27.449
guys that he grabbed dicks and said, probably

00:37:27.449 --> 00:37:30.110
drunk, probably fucked up. How many guys let

00:37:30.110 --> 00:37:33.650
him suck their dick? A lot, I bet. I bet it was

00:37:33.650 --> 00:37:35.809
an effective strategy. Right, especially for

00:37:35.809 --> 00:37:37.429
famous in Hollywood. If he did it to gay guys.

00:37:37.730 --> 00:37:41.679
But he was like the one guy that... The story

00:37:41.679 --> 00:37:44.500
broke was a young teenager right when he's like

00:37:44.500 --> 00:37:46.960
14 or something like that Yeah, and they were

00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:49.260
working together or something like that. It was

00:37:49.260 --> 00:37:52.000
definitely a minor But it's also like why is

00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:53.940
that teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk

00:37:53.940 --> 00:37:59.980
gay guys like hey? Where's your dad? Fuck is

00:37:59.980 --> 00:38:02.300
going on. What are you doing there? But it's

00:38:02.300 --> 00:38:05.420
you know it's not excusing him for doing it the

00:38:05.420 --> 00:38:08.039
thing about people in the gay community is they

00:38:08.039 --> 00:38:12.920
look very differently at teenage boy gay teenage

00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:17.920
boy men relationships than we do at like teenage

00:38:17.920 --> 00:38:20.880
girl men relationships they look at it very differently

00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:24.440
like milo got in trouble for that is milo on

00:38:24.440 --> 00:38:26.960
his on my podcast was talking about this guy

00:38:26.960 --> 00:38:28.719
that molested him he's like trust me i was the

00:38:28.719 --> 00:38:32.599
predator right that's what he said that's a crazy

00:38:32.599 --> 00:38:36.260
thing to say but they look at it differently

00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:41.380
oh yeah that's uh i remember someone was uh i

00:38:41.380 --> 00:38:44.820
was living in la and we had this gay dude who

00:38:44.820 --> 00:38:49.079
was sleeping on the uh you know we had a uh bed

00:38:49.079 --> 00:38:51.599
in the living room for guests to stay over so

00:38:51.599 --> 00:38:53.199
he was he like lived there for like two months

00:38:53.199 --> 00:38:55.199
and they were we were watching call me by your

00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:59.400
name and he it's like a it's like a it's army

00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:01.519
hammer and maybe it's chalamet i forgot i i was

00:39:01.519 --> 00:39:03.219
in and out my roommates were watching it but

00:39:03.219 --> 00:39:05.460
it's like a about a gay story between an older

00:39:05.460 --> 00:39:10.860
man and a A younger boy. And yeah, he said this

00:39:10.860 --> 00:39:13.079
read like, he was watching it like, oh, this

00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:16.179
reads like a fan fiction of an older gay dude

00:39:16.179 --> 00:39:19.300
being in love with like a younger gay guy. Yeah,

00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:21.940
it's like a, I remember that. I remember him

00:39:21.940 --> 00:39:23.780
telling us that. I'm like, oh, okay. That's interesting.

00:39:24.139 --> 00:39:25.940
Well, I mean, it kind of makes sense, right?

00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:29.159
Because we think very differently of like a high

00:39:29.159 --> 00:39:31.599
school football player that winds up banging

00:39:31.599 --> 00:39:34.949
a really hot science teacher. Yeah. you know

00:39:34.949 --> 00:39:37.730
you're not mad you're just like this is crazy

00:39:37.730 --> 00:39:40.389
that lady's crazy she's 35 she's got two kids

00:39:40.389 --> 00:39:42.750
she fucks a 17 year old boy in the bathroom like

00:39:42.750 --> 00:39:45.030
yeah yeah that's i said that other female pedophiles

00:39:45.030 --> 00:39:46.690
become teachers that is that is what they do

00:39:46.690 --> 00:39:49.230
they find the way it's very very very different

00:39:49.230 --> 00:39:52.460
than the scenario of, like, the football coach

00:39:52.460 --> 00:39:54.679
that's banging the cheerleader. That's crazy.

00:39:54.699 --> 00:39:55.579
Yeah, that's way darker. That makes you want

00:39:55.579 --> 00:39:57.820
to lynch him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's way grosser.

00:39:57.840 --> 00:39:59.400
It's weird, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is weird.

00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:03.699
Yeah, it's like, yeah, with every time, there's

00:40:03.699 --> 00:40:05.559
a South Park episode about it, every time you

00:40:05.559 --> 00:40:08.519
hear that story about, you know, the older teacher

00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:10.820
fucking the young boy, every guy's kind of like,

00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.280
nice. Yeah. Well, you know how the best joke

00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:15.619
about it was Zach Galifianakis. He said, do you

00:40:15.619 --> 00:40:18.260
hear the boy died? Yeah, his friends high -fived

00:40:18.260 --> 00:40:27.420
him to death. Man, that live at the Purple Onion.

00:40:27.619 --> 00:40:31.340
Oh, fantastic. That was a fucking great special.

00:40:31.579 --> 00:40:33.440
What is he doing these days? I have no idea.

00:40:33.519 --> 00:40:36.219
He was on that show for a while on FX Baskets.

00:40:36.219 --> 00:40:37.960
That was really good. Louis Anderson won the

00:40:37.960 --> 00:40:40.739
Emmy on it. He owns a farm somewhere. He has

00:40:40.739 --> 00:40:44.820
like a farm. I think he's like... He's very smart.

00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:46.880
Have you ever talked to him? I've never met him.

00:40:47.039 --> 00:40:50.599
I've never. The only time I saw him live was

00:40:50.599 --> 00:40:53.099
at Brody's Memorial. Yeah, he was real tight

00:40:53.099 --> 00:40:56.460
with Brody. He is one of the ways that I found

00:40:56.460 --> 00:40:59.800
out that Brody was off his meds. He contacted

00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:02.460
me. Do you remember that one time when Brody

00:41:02.460 --> 00:41:06.079
got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy

00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:08.079
and was like yelling at people in the audience

00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:10.599
sometimes? And it got weird. It wasn't like performance

00:41:10.599 --> 00:41:13.219
arty anymore. It was like what's happening with

00:41:13.219 --> 00:41:16.480
Brody? And then he got back and he like bounced

00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:20.210
it out. Brody had like a legit problem. Whatever

00:41:20.210 --> 00:41:22.269
it was, whatever his mental health issue was,

00:41:22.369 --> 00:41:26.969
he needed medication. He was legit crazy. And

00:41:26.969 --> 00:41:29.349
Zach contacted me and said, it seems like Brody's

00:41:29.349 --> 00:41:31.570
off his meds, so just don't engage with him.

00:41:32.309 --> 00:41:35.829
Damn. Damn. So it's like you got to kind of figure

00:41:35.829 --> 00:41:38.050
out a way to corral him, get him back on his

00:41:38.050 --> 00:41:41.730
stuff. But man, when he was in that main room.

00:41:42.230 --> 00:41:44.550
When he was in that main room and what was left

00:41:44.550 --> 00:41:46.570
of the crowd was rocking with him. It was just

00:41:46.570 --> 00:41:48.909
so much fun just watching him play drums. He

00:41:48.909 --> 00:41:52.210
came to the improv one night. We were doing a

00:41:52.210 --> 00:41:53.989
later show. So it was like a 10 o 'clock show.

00:41:54.250 --> 00:41:56.949
And he was on late. And the show was kind of

00:41:56.949 --> 00:41:59.190
Peter now. You know how it does. At the time

00:41:59.190 --> 00:42:02.269
it was probably like about half full. And then.

00:42:03.519 --> 00:42:05.860
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brody Stevens.

00:42:06.179 --> 00:42:09.159
Brody takes his shirt off and starts swinging

00:42:09.159 --> 00:42:12.199
it around in the air like a flag. He goes through

00:42:12.199 --> 00:42:18.300
the crowd. Let's go! Energy! He just gets everybody

00:42:18.300 --> 00:42:21.059
fired up. He immediately breaks out the drumsticks,

00:42:21.340 --> 00:42:24.260
starts fucking drumming on the seat, and then

00:42:24.260 --> 00:42:27.260
starts telling jokes and just changed the whole

00:42:27.260 --> 00:42:30.219
tempo of the room. Everything lit up. It was...

00:42:30.809 --> 00:42:33.670
It was like, that's what Brody can do. Just with

00:42:33.670 --> 00:42:37.630
pure charisma and talent and just personality.

00:42:37.789 --> 00:42:40.130
And anytime I see him, anytime I see a person

00:42:40.130 --> 00:42:42.650
in the audience like this, arms crossed, negative.

00:42:42.809 --> 00:42:45.389
That's all I can think. That's all I can think.

00:42:45.389 --> 00:42:47.349
It's like, wow, you are giving me negative energy

00:42:47.349 --> 00:42:50.849
right now for no reason. For no reason. You're

00:42:50.849 --> 00:42:52.889
at a show. Come and enjoy it. Especially when

00:42:52.889 --> 00:42:54.909
you see it, because I cold open a lot, you see

00:42:54.909 --> 00:42:58.960
people be like, why are you? why'd you come here

00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:01.000
like impress me like you're already here enjoy

00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:03.619
the energy it takes a while sometimes for people

00:43:03.619 --> 00:43:05.440
to loosen up you have the hardest job when you

00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:07.619
have when we do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows

00:43:07.619 --> 00:43:10.260
and you cold open. I've only cold opened a few

00:43:10.260 --> 00:43:12.760
times over the last few years. Yeah. Or over

00:43:12.760 --> 00:43:15.920
the last 10 years. It's hard. You've got to hypnotize

00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:17.820
those people. You've got to slowly work your

00:43:17.820 --> 00:43:20.219
way into the rhythm of jokes. Oh, yeah. You have

00:43:20.219 --> 00:43:22.099
to sort of like, I like it because it's energy

00:43:22.099 --> 00:43:23.900
matching. You have to find out where they are,

00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:25.840
catch on to them, and then bring them to the

00:43:25.840 --> 00:43:27.559
energy that you want. You know who's really good

00:43:27.559 --> 00:43:30.070
at it? Yeah. Hans Kim. Oh, yeah, yeah. Really

00:43:30.070 --> 00:43:32.550
good at it. It's just straight jokes. It's just

00:43:32.550 --> 00:43:37.190
straight jokes, and he's funny looking. He's

00:43:37.190 --> 00:43:39.610
got a big smile on his face. He's having fun.

00:43:39.630 --> 00:43:42.650
You kind of get into his groove real quick. He

00:43:42.650 --> 00:43:45.650
did so many arenas with me and so many big places,

00:43:45.710 --> 00:43:47.670
and he was the perfect guy because he would just

00:43:47.670 --> 00:43:51.510
go, let me tell you something about myself. Then

00:43:51.510 --> 00:43:54.670
right away, he would take control of the room.

00:43:54.809 --> 00:43:56.630
It was awesome. Derek's great at bringing him

00:43:56.630 --> 00:43:59.039
in, too. It's fun watching. the different people,

00:43:59.099 --> 00:44:01.260
their different cold open strategies. Derek is

00:44:01.260 --> 00:44:03.260
just getting everybody fired up, excitement,

00:44:03.679 --> 00:44:06.960
and he's so lovable. He's got, again, so much

00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:12.920
charisma. The cold opening for as long as I have

00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:15.800
done, and my career even pre this club, it made

00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:19.320
me feel so much stronger. Almost like running

00:44:19.320 --> 00:44:22.400
with ankle weights on. Now, leading up to me

00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:27.019
releasing Too Soon, I was like, all these spots

00:44:27.019 --> 00:44:29.000
i was getting at the end of the shows these were

00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:31.099
material this is all material that i tested at

00:44:31.099 --> 00:44:34.460
the beginning of rogan and friends which especially

00:44:34.460 --> 00:44:36.239
at the beginning of the club a lot of people

00:44:36.239 --> 00:44:39.670
were like wait You're not Rogan talking to a

00:44:39.670 --> 00:44:41.329
friend like they thought they were coming to

00:44:41.329 --> 00:44:43.150
a live podcast before you know It took a while

00:44:43.150 --> 00:44:44.829
before the shows were like oh, yeah, this is

00:44:44.829 --> 00:44:47.909
a stand -up show So really yeah thought it was

00:44:47.909 --> 00:44:50.269
gonna be a podcast and very beginning there were

00:44:50.269 --> 00:44:52.750
some episodes We had to like introduce the concept

00:44:52.750 --> 00:44:56.730
of this is gonna be stand -up Now it's not like

00:44:56.730 --> 00:44:58.849
that but like at the very beginning it for sure

00:44:58.849 --> 00:45:02.389
was but like it was like I felt My material was

00:45:02.389 --> 00:45:05.389
like battle tested. Well, it certainly is. The

00:45:05.389 --> 00:45:08.929
running with weights is a great analogy. That's

00:45:08.929 --> 00:45:11.389
exactly what it is. Yeah, it makes the jokes

00:45:11.389 --> 00:45:13.590
so much stronger. You know what else is really

00:45:13.590 --> 00:45:16.590
good for your act is hosting. Yeah. Because you

00:45:16.590 --> 00:45:18.969
go up so often. Like one of the things that really

00:45:18.969 --> 00:45:21.389
helped a lot of guys at the store was hosting

00:45:21.389 --> 00:45:25.150
potluck. Because, you know, you have to. There's

00:45:25.150 --> 00:45:27.670
all this chaos. Someone just bombed. Something

00:45:27.670 --> 00:45:29.869
crazy just happened. Someone just did something

00:45:29.869 --> 00:45:32.190
completely fucking insane. You have a chance

00:45:32.190 --> 00:45:34.570
to make fun of it. Reset the room. Reset the

00:45:34.570 --> 00:45:37.349
room. And there's a comfort level that comes.

00:45:37.489 --> 00:45:39.949
Because you're essentially doing stand -up from

00:45:39.949 --> 00:45:43.230
8 p .m. to 2 a .m. Yes. Yeah, when I first started,

00:45:43.309 --> 00:45:46.170
when I lived in, first was a door guy in Hollywood.

00:45:46.469 --> 00:45:48.489
Derek was booking the Madhouse and I would come

00:45:48.489 --> 00:45:51.510
down and host the weekend shows. So every day

00:45:51.510 --> 00:45:54.090
I'd host from every weekend or two weekends a

00:45:54.090 --> 00:45:56.170
month, I would host from five to two in the morning

00:45:56.170 --> 00:45:57.829
because you'd host the open mic afterward. And

00:45:57.829 --> 00:45:59.730
you just host the entire night. It's a full day's

00:45:59.730 --> 00:46:02.250
worth of hosting. That's awesome. Yeah, it's

00:46:02.250 --> 00:46:04.829
like, it's because the opening spots suck, but

00:46:04.829 --> 00:46:06.530
like they make you better. It's the ones that

00:46:06.530 --> 00:46:09.130
suck that make you better. It's definitely, well,

00:46:09.210 --> 00:46:11.469
you realize, like, where the sloppy parts of

00:46:11.469 --> 00:46:13.750
your bits are. Like, you're saying them, you're

00:46:13.750 --> 00:46:16.269
like, ew. Right. You know, like, it gets you.

00:46:16.409 --> 00:46:18.449
You're like, ew. Right. Like, whereas when the

00:46:18.449 --> 00:46:20.210
crowd's popping and they're laughing at everything,

00:46:20.329 --> 00:46:21.690
they want to laugh. You can get that through

00:46:21.690 --> 00:46:24.389
and actually get a laugh. But then when, like.

00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:26.780
It's quiet and it's the beginning of the show.

00:46:26.820 --> 00:46:29.800
You realize, oh, this bit sucks. Right. I got

00:46:29.800 --> 00:46:32.199
to bring this bit to the garage. Yeah, I got

00:46:32.199 --> 00:46:34.599
to not put it up front. What was I thinking?

00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:39.079
I got to tighten this motherfucker up. But it's,

00:46:39.079 --> 00:46:41.199
you know, there's plenty of other spots. That's

00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:42.820
the beautiful thing. I mean, we're running four

00:46:42.820 --> 00:46:46.440
shows a night, every night. And there's so much

00:46:46.440 --> 00:46:48.699
around the scene. There's so much. I was telling

00:46:48.699 --> 00:46:51.960
someone in L .A. It's like, oh, if I chose not

00:46:51.960 --> 00:46:55.199
to get up. Ten spots in front of an audience

00:46:55.199 --> 00:46:57.619
members in a week at the very least then I chose

00:46:57.619 --> 00:46:59.239
that because it's so easy Just go out and get

00:46:59.239 --> 00:47:02.079
a lot. There's so much people and like there's

00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:04.440
around in downtown alone. There's like 12 dedicated

00:47:04.440 --> 00:47:07.840
comedy rooms It's insane. Do you see was it Rappaport

00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:10.840
that got kicked off of a show at Cap City? They

00:47:10.840 --> 00:47:13.300
canceled his show They canceled Rappaport and

00:47:13.300 --> 00:47:15.559
what let me see what the post was cuz they said

00:47:15.559 --> 00:47:17.659
something like there's another big club that

00:47:17.659 --> 00:47:20.400
will have you or something like that Yeah, it's

00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:22.320
in you waiting that we would have them and that

00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:24.039
he's racing and we would have them? Yeah, yeah.

00:47:24.119 --> 00:47:26.159
Oh, yeah, they just assume the mothership is

00:47:26.159 --> 00:47:28.679
full of racist people. They don't. Yeah, people

00:47:28.679 --> 00:47:30.780
do. But the guy that owns that is the guy that

00:47:30.780 --> 00:47:33.239
owns helium. Yeah, but no, not just that. I think

00:47:33.239 --> 00:47:35.639
that's pervasive around comedy for sure. It's

00:47:35.639 --> 00:47:38.340
nonsense. They're pretending they think that.

00:47:38.559 --> 00:47:40.300
There's no way they think that. If you just look

00:47:40.300 --> 00:47:41.159
at the lineup, there's no way they think that.

00:47:41.159 --> 00:47:42.380
Well, no one's looking at the lineup. They're

00:47:42.380 --> 00:47:44.900
really like, oh, Joe and Tony support Trump,

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:47.099
so this must be filled with racist people. That's

00:47:47.099 --> 00:47:49.260
what it is. What did they say? Can you pull up

00:47:49.260 --> 00:47:53.840
the... I think they phrased it in an interesting

00:47:53.840 --> 00:47:59.260
way. So Austin for Palestine Coalition. That's

00:47:59.260 --> 00:48:01.500
a Rappaport is pretty funny. That's a Rappaport.

00:48:02.139 --> 00:48:05.719
He's done canceled. Thank you, Cap City Comedy

00:48:05.719 --> 00:48:08.659
and Helium Management for listening to Austin

00:48:08.659 --> 00:48:11.079
and canceling the racist provocateur Michael

00:48:11.079 --> 00:48:14.360
Rappaport show at your establishment. And so

00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:18.480
Michael Rappaport, there's a make sure. Yeah,

00:48:18.559 --> 00:48:21.659
that's the caption is like. But there's another

00:48:21.659 --> 00:48:23.559
club that insinuating that we would take what

00:48:23.559 --> 00:48:25.920
is this this is just Austin comedy. That's just

00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:27.679
someone's account It's just someone's account.

00:48:27.840 --> 00:48:29.559
Yeah, that's right when I first moved here That

00:48:29.559 --> 00:48:30.900
was when I that's how I figured out where all

00:48:30.900 --> 00:48:32.780
the open mics was there But they're not even

00:48:32.780 --> 00:48:34.639
accusing us says pretty sure there's another

00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:38.599
club or large venue space that will welcome you

00:48:38.599 --> 00:48:42.219
that aren't run by helium so but And there's

00:48:42.219 --> 00:48:45.260
a lot of places that that's not necessarily they're

00:48:45.260 --> 00:48:47.320
saying to us. If you still want to make a stop

00:48:47.320 --> 00:48:49.480
in Austin, just let them know. Most of us here

00:48:49.480 --> 00:48:51.659
are friendly and won't use politics and hate

00:48:51.659 --> 00:48:55.579
to cancel silence performers. So that seems like

00:48:55.579 --> 00:48:58.960
they're kind of saying like, hey, Michael, come

00:48:58.960 --> 00:49:02.800
do another spot. Do it somewhere else. I don't

00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:05.650
think they're accusing him of that. Right. That

00:49:05.650 --> 00:49:08.409
sounds more supportive of him coming here and

00:49:08.409 --> 00:49:10.530
saying most of us are friendly and won't use

00:49:10.530 --> 00:49:13.150
politics and hate to cancel and silence performance.

00:49:13.630 --> 00:49:16.369
So that's not helium saying that. I guess he's

00:49:16.369 --> 00:49:20.449
outspokenly provisional for this to happen. I'm

00:49:20.449 --> 00:49:22.449
not paying attention to that, dude, because I

00:49:22.449 --> 00:49:25.769
feel like a lot of it is. Needy you know I mean,

00:49:25.789 --> 00:49:27.750
there's a lot of like we're trying to get attention

00:49:27.750 --> 00:49:32.389
too hard right. It's like yeah It's like I get

00:49:32.389 --> 00:49:34.590
he's not a dumb guy He's got some really good

00:49:34.590 --> 00:49:36.690
points But the problem is if you try too hard

00:49:36.690 --> 00:49:38.849
you doing it all the time then the good points

00:49:38.849 --> 00:49:41.389
miss me right They miss me because you're already

00:49:41.389 --> 00:49:44.369
lost all that other silly shit. Mm -hmm. They're

00:49:44.369 --> 00:49:47.260
just lost in the sea. Yeah, like yeah Which is

00:49:47.260 --> 00:49:48.920
good and bad depending on whether or not you

00:49:48.920 --> 00:49:50.719
want to be taken seriously, right? I don't want

00:49:50.719 --> 00:49:53.440
to be taken seriously. So like if I do UFO shows

00:49:53.440 --> 00:49:56.179
or Bigfoot shows, like good. Oh, he believes

00:49:56.179 --> 00:49:59.780
in dragons. Good. Good. Don't take me seriously.

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.280
Yeah. But when you're talking about something

00:50:02.280 --> 00:50:05.320
like Israel and Palestine, I guess, because it

00:50:05.320 --> 00:50:07.699
said something citizens for Palestine. Yeah,

00:50:07.800 --> 00:50:10.099
it had to have been. They're not canceling. The

00:50:10.099 --> 00:50:11.739
coalition for Palestine is not going out of their

00:50:11.739 --> 00:50:14.099
way. I had no idea anybody was calling Michael

00:50:14.099 --> 00:50:17.940
Rappaport racist. Oh, well, yeah. This is the

00:50:17.940 --> 00:50:19.480
first Michael Rapaport news I've heard in years,

00:50:19.579 --> 00:50:21.639
if I'm going to be honest. I had no idea that

00:50:21.639 --> 00:50:24.960
there was an organized campaign to stop his shows.

00:50:25.320 --> 00:50:27.159
There must be. If it's happening here, it's happening

00:50:27.159 --> 00:50:32.500
everywhere, right? It has to be. Okay. Since

00:50:32.500 --> 00:50:34.840
early November, our coalition sent several emails.

00:50:35.099 --> 00:50:38.179
That's all it took. No, it says they were ignored.

00:50:38.280 --> 00:50:40.619
While employees had privately shared that they're

00:50:40.619 --> 00:50:42.659
uncomfortable. Oh, they privately shared that.

00:50:42.760 --> 00:50:45.179
With anti -Palestinian hate monger Rappaport

00:50:45.179 --> 00:50:47.960
being hosted, management seems unwilling to listen

00:50:47.960 --> 00:50:50.079
to their community. That's not necessarily their

00:50:50.079 --> 00:50:52.659
community. That's just some people in the community.

00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:55.920
Rappaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with

00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:58.699
political views we disagree with. He's a racist.

00:50:59.760 --> 00:51:02.300
Who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children.

00:51:02.420 --> 00:51:04.960
He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions

00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:07.460
of people whose viewpoints he dislikes. Additionally,

00:51:07.539 --> 00:51:09.539
he has a reputation for being generally disliked

00:51:09.539 --> 00:51:12.480
by people he's worked with. Doxing his political

00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:14.360
opponents and has been accused of working with

00:51:14.360 --> 00:51:16.780
Fox News to spread fake propaganda. Okay, this

00:51:16.780 --> 00:51:19.619
is like a lot. Who wrote this? Austin for Palestine

00:51:19.619 --> 00:51:21.880
Coalition. So maybe it's just in Austin. Oh yeah,

00:51:21.920 --> 00:51:24.619
that's it. Austin. Yeah. And then they got him

00:51:24.619 --> 00:51:30.539
out of Cap City. Yeah. What so what did they

00:51:30.539 --> 00:51:32.340
go back up at the top of that thing? What is

00:51:32.340 --> 00:51:36.139
the original? No, no, no, no the original thing

00:51:36.139 --> 00:51:42.519
that I read it said He's Mocked is a racist who

00:51:42.519 --> 00:51:45.800
cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. Is

00:51:45.800 --> 00:51:48.039
that true? I don't think you'd have to we'd have

00:51:48.039 --> 00:51:50.699
to go through his thing It's like when you say

00:51:50.699 --> 00:51:53.559
something like that. Yeah You just have to take

00:51:53.559 --> 00:51:55.179
that for face value that he does that if you

00:51:55.179 --> 00:51:57.250
want to believe that I've never seen anything

00:51:57.250 --> 00:51:58.889
like that. I would imagine that if he did something

00:51:58.889 --> 00:52:02.210
like that, it would go viral. Maybe not. Mocking

00:52:02.210 --> 00:52:05.449
dead children? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Maybe not.

00:52:05.630 --> 00:52:08.429
Probably. In this day and age? Yeah. He's famous

00:52:08.429 --> 00:52:10.769
enough for sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was straight

00:52:10.769 --> 00:52:12.550
up mocking. If you're mocking dead children.

00:52:12.550 --> 00:52:14.409
Look at the people that mocked Charlie Kirk.

00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:17.340
The fucking hate came strong. Oh, yeah. They

00:52:17.340 --> 00:52:20.079
all like lost their jobs. They felt the heat.

00:52:20.199 --> 00:52:23.099
Yeah, immediately. Immediately. Yeah. Yeah, it

00:52:23.099 --> 00:52:25.980
is like the internet makes people very comfortable

00:52:25.980 --> 00:52:28.159
with putting their initial emotional reaction

00:52:28.159 --> 00:52:31.079
out for everyone to see. And it's like something

00:52:31.079 --> 00:52:33.000
that Derek talks about. It's like we got to go

00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:34.900
back to the times when like people were like,

00:52:34.940 --> 00:52:38.460
oh, you can't post yourself with a red cup. Because

00:52:38.460 --> 00:52:40.260
like a job might see that you won't get the job

00:52:40.260 --> 00:52:43.739
like that used to be drinking yeah People like

00:52:43.739 --> 00:52:47.960
just full -on sketches of like people dying and

00:52:47.960 --> 00:52:49.880
like you see so many people die just constantly

00:52:49.880 --> 00:52:52.280
too So it's like everyone's just desensitized

00:52:52.280 --> 00:52:54.079
to everything. There's a lot of desensitization

00:52:54.079 --> 00:52:56.239
There's a lot of people that also live in these

00:52:56.239 --> 00:52:58.659
echo chambers and they think when they say think

00:52:58.659 --> 00:53:00.820
like well Who was that one lady that was she

00:53:00.820 --> 00:53:03.079
was a CEO somewhere? She had a very high level

00:53:03.079 --> 00:53:05.659
position somewhere and she posted on her Instagram

00:53:05.659 --> 00:53:08.239
story. I think something like She posted, rest

00:53:08.239 --> 00:53:12.480
in piss, Charlie Kirk. Right. Like, you're a

00:53:12.480 --> 00:53:15.400
regular person with a real job. You're talking

00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:16.900
about a guy who got murdered and you just wrote

00:53:16.900 --> 00:53:19.619
rest in piss on the internet? Because in their

00:53:19.619 --> 00:53:21.659
bubble, they were saying that kind of stuff and

00:53:21.659 --> 00:53:23.059
they thought it was a cool thing to say. Yeah,

00:53:23.059 --> 00:53:28.179
your algorithm is so designed to just show you

00:53:28.179 --> 00:53:30.500
what things that agree with you. Right. So everyone

00:53:30.500 --> 00:53:33.920
gets. More and more like, oh, everyone believes

00:53:33.920 --> 00:53:36.260
this. Everyone, because everyone around me or

00:53:36.260 --> 00:53:39.000
everyone I perceive to be around me believes

00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:41.639
that. When really it's just, it's like half of

00:53:41.639 --> 00:53:43.840
it's fake. Most of it is just some Pakistani

00:53:43.840 --> 00:53:46.559
guy. Right. Yeah, somewhere with like a million

00:53:46.559 --> 00:53:48.460
phones. Have you seen the new AI where you can.

00:53:48.539 --> 00:53:51.019
It's just constant. No, no, no. The new one where

00:53:51.019 --> 00:53:54.340
you can be any celebrity and it looks exactly

00:53:54.340 --> 00:53:57.500
like that celebrity. So all your movements, you

00:53:57.500 --> 00:54:00.349
could be like. you know, Mike from Stranger Things.

00:54:00.510 --> 00:54:04.510
Damn. And it's super accurate. Damn. Like, crazy

00:54:04.510 --> 00:54:06.289
accurate. We're getting to the point where, like,

00:54:06.369 --> 00:54:10.170
surveillance videos won't be admissible in court.

00:54:10.309 --> 00:54:13.489
Like, it's going to be up to there. Well, it'll

00:54:13.489 --> 00:54:15.469
all have to be on the blockchain. But even that,

00:54:15.570 --> 00:54:17.619
like... I don't understand the blockchain. Do

00:54:17.619 --> 00:54:20.320
you? Who knows if that's manipulated? See if

00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:22.980
you can find that video. Because there was one

00:54:22.980 --> 00:54:26.760
performer who did a series of different people

00:54:26.760 --> 00:54:29.980
from Stranger Things. He did like Elle from Stranger

00:54:29.980 --> 00:54:31.920
Things and Mike from Stranger Things. And it's

00:54:31.920 --> 00:54:34.980
fucking nuts. The same person just moving their

00:54:34.980 --> 00:54:38.000
hands around and talking. And they look exactly

00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:40.579
like the other person. Right. So now you're seeing

00:54:40.579 --> 00:54:45.539
heavily manipulated content. Unless you go out

00:54:45.539 --> 00:54:49.739
of your way to look for another opinion. You're

00:54:49.739 --> 00:54:51.780
just going to become entrenched in your own opinion.

00:54:51.960 --> 00:54:53.539
That's sort of the problem with what's happening

00:54:53.539 --> 00:54:55.420
right now. Or entrenched in the opinion that

00:54:55.420 --> 00:54:57.880
they want to promote. Yes, they want to promote.

00:54:58.000 --> 00:54:59.639
You're just sort of like, oh, you're just being

00:54:59.639 --> 00:55:02.440
fed this constant line of bullshit. You've got

00:55:02.440 --> 00:55:06.420
to do some algorithm cleanses. You know how you

00:55:06.420 --> 00:55:07.920
go on juice cleanses? You've got to do that with

00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:10.340
your algorithm. I think, honestly, what you've

00:55:10.340 --> 00:55:12.500
got to do is stay offline. You're going to get

00:55:12.500 --> 00:55:14.719
got no matter what. Your algorithm is eventually

00:55:14.719 --> 00:55:15.980
going to catch you again. It's like, I'm going

00:55:15.980 --> 00:55:18.920
to do a little heroin this time. You're a full

00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:21.400
-on heroin junkie. Right, right. For me, it's

00:55:21.400 --> 00:55:23.760
like there's so many videos of people getting

00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:26.159
killed by alligators and lions that are fake.

00:55:26.340 --> 00:55:29.920
And they just look a little off. Like the lion

00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:31.840
jumps in the car and pulls them out. You're like,

00:55:31.900 --> 00:55:34.420
no. You're like, something's wrong with this.

00:55:34.440 --> 00:55:36.280
The way people react. Right now, the reactions

00:55:36.280 --> 00:55:38.400
of people in the background don't match. Right.

00:55:38.679 --> 00:55:40.239
Because it used to be you could see the fingers

00:55:40.239 --> 00:55:41.900
and the fingers would be all fucked up. But they

00:55:41.900 --> 00:55:43.940
got the fingers pretty down now. They're getting

00:55:43.940 --> 00:55:45.320
better at that. Now it's like you've got to look

00:55:45.320 --> 00:55:46.920
in the – if the people in the background aren't

00:55:46.920 --> 00:55:49.079
reacting, you're like, okay. Yeah. Like if I

00:55:49.079 --> 00:55:50.260
was – people in the background would react to

00:55:50.260 --> 00:55:53.300
a guy getting eaten by a lion. I guess they could

00:55:53.300 --> 00:55:55.199
probably fix that though with a prompt. Well,

00:55:55.219 --> 00:55:56.260
that would be the next generation. Everybody

00:55:56.260 --> 00:55:57.599
in the background scatter. That's the next generation.

00:55:57.599 --> 00:55:58.539
I don't even think it's the next generation.

00:55:58.579 --> 00:56:01.019
I think it's just – you gotta just ask it to

00:56:01.019 --> 00:56:03.579
do a better version. Keep correcting it. Asking

00:56:03.579 --> 00:56:06.000
it to do better. Fix this, fix that. Have you

00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:07.320
ever done that with a video where you ask it

00:56:07.320 --> 00:56:09.760
to keep fixing things? No. It gets overloaded

00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:11.320
and it just gets worse and worse and worse. If

00:56:11.320 --> 00:56:13.900
you ask it to fix it, it's not good at making

00:56:13.900 --> 00:56:17.780
an edit on the video you already have. Oh. So

00:56:17.780 --> 00:56:19.559
you can be like, let's say it'll just generate

00:56:19.559 --> 00:56:21.380
another thing and because it's making a video

00:56:21.380 --> 00:56:22.880
about a video, everything gets fucked up. Look

00:56:22.880 --> 00:56:29.039
at this. Holy shit. This is crazy, dude. That

00:56:29.039 --> 00:56:31.179
one looks kind of AI. That looks a little AI

00:56:31.179 --> 00:56:35.420
too. A little smooth in the face. So it's probably

00:56:35.420 --> 00:56:37.480
better for, do it again? Run it again from the

00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:40.079
beginning? The first couple ones might get you.

00:56:40.199 --> 00:56:43.239
It's when one seems like obviously really fake.

00:56:43.460 --> 00:56:45.260
You know what the thing is too? I think it's

00:56:45.260 --> 00:56:48.960
really good with young people. Like him, it looks

00:56:48.960 --> 00:56:50.659
fake for some reason. Yeah, when it got there.

00:56:51.179 --> 00:56:52.800
But then you realize they all look fake after

00:56:52.800 --> 00:56:55.039
you see one that looks fake. But not that fake.

00:56:55.480 --> 00:56:57.800
It's just if they did the lighting a little better.

00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:00.960
You know, it looks a little too bright. But yeah,

00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:02.519
see, I wonder if our perception, because the

00:57:02.519 --> 00:57:04.119
first three look real, I wonder if our perception

00:57:04.119 --> 00:57:06.280
would change if they put the one of the guy that

00:57:06.280 --> 00:57:09.239
looks fake first. You feel what I'm saying? I

00:57:09.239 --> 00:57:11.639
don't know, because this one looks real. Like,

00:57:11.639 --> 00:57:14.480
that looks like her. Like, if you just had that

00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:16.760
one and had her saying a bunch of things, I would

00:57:16.760 --> 00:57:19.650
think it's her saying a bunch of things. Well,

00:57:19.650 --> 00:57:21.489
that's fucking crazy. We're fucked. We're fucked,

00:57:22.070 --> 00:57:23.789
man. Anybody who doesn't think we're fucked isn't

00:57:23.789 --> 00:57:26.030
paying attention. It's going to get super weird.

00:57:26.269 --> 00:57:28.789
Yeah. And how much of that are they going to

00:57:28.789 --> 00:57:32.550
use on us in the news, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

00:57:33.269 --> 00:57:37.230
The news is already fucked. But I was thinking

00:57:37.230 --> 00:57:38.869
about this the other day, how it's crazy that

00:57:38.869 --> 00:57:41.150
because our algorithms are so different, I think

00:57:41.150 --> 00:57:42.889
this is why everyone gets so charged over news

00:57:42.889 --> 00:57:45.369
things now, is news is the only thing we have

00:57:45.369 --> 00:57:47.780
in common anymore. Like there's not really a

00:57:47.780 --> 00:57:50.179
show that like everyone's watching or like a

00:57:50.179 --> 00:57:52.300
set of shows that everyone's watching your algorithm

00:57:52.300 --> 00:57:55.260
Sends you things that you like so you're completely

00:57:55.260 --> 00:57:57.539
disconnected entertainment wise to the people

00:57:57.539 --> 00:57:59.719
around you and the only thing you really have

00:57:59.719 --> 00:58:03.780
in common is What's going on in the world right

00:58:03.780 --> 00:58:05.000
because that's the only thing that's consistent

00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:07.579
and your opinions on it. What side are you on?

00:58:07.679 --> 00:58:09.579
Yes, because every everything becomes divided.

00:58:09.739 --> 00:58:11.820
Yes, and you have to have a take on everything.

00:58:11.940 --> 00:58:15.460
Yeah Vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza. Yeah, everything

00:58:15.460 --> 00:58:17.280
has to have a take. Oh, yeah. Oh, we were cooked

00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:19.940
as a, like, companies have to do it. Yeah, I've

00:58:19.940 --> 00:58:21.440
been saying, like, we've been cooked as a country.

00:58:22.099 --> 00:58:23.500
I've known we've been cooked as a country ever

00:58:23.500 --> 00:58:25.300
since Ben and Jerry's had a take on Gaza. It's

00:58:25.300 --> 00:58:27.440
like, there's no reason for this. Yeah. There's

00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:29.500
no reason for this. You're a company trying to

00:58:29.500 --> 00:58:31.900
sell stuff. There's a lot of incentives for companies

00:58:31.900 --> 00:58:36.300
to, like, whatever. What is that ESG score? Is

00:58:36.300 --> 00:58:38.920
that what it is? What is the score that they

00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:43.940
give? So companies have DEI scores for favorable

00:58:43.940 --> 00:58:47.119
loans and for government money. It gets real

00:58:47.119 --> 00:58:51.260
weird when you start intertwining. It gets real

00:58:51.260 --> 00:58:54.639
communist -y. ESG score evaluates a company's

00:58:54.639 --> 00:58:57.099
sustainability and ethical impact, measuring

00:58:57.099 --> 00:58:59.079
its performance in environmental, social, and

00:58:59.079 --> 00:59:01.840
governance areas, such as carbon footprint, labor

00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:05.980
practices. and board diversity to help investors

00:59:05.980 --> 00:59:09.119
and stakeholders assess long -term risk and potential.

00:59:11.920 --> 00:59:14.619
Calculated by specialized agencies like MSCI

00:59:14.619 --> 00:59:21.000
and Sustainalytics, scores often from 0 to 100

00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:23.980
or letter grades gauge how well a company manages

00:59:23.980 --> 00:59:26.639
risk in these non -financial areas, influencing

00:59:26.639 --> 00:59:31.500
reputation, access to capital. This is what's

00:59:31.500 --> 00:59:33.860
important in long -term financial performances.

00:59:35.280 --> 00:59:39.360
So climate change impact, resource use, waste

00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:42.260
pollution, energy efficiency, employee relations,

00:59:42.719 --> 00:59:45.260
diversity and inclusion, labor standards. So

00:59:45.260 --> 00:59:49.280
you're essentially forcing the company to act

00:59:49.280 --> 00:59:51.880
a certain way. You can't do it completely as

00:59:51.880 --> 00:59:54.239
a meritocracy. You have to have a representative

00:59:54.239 --> 00:59:56.719
board of people, which a lot of people agree

00:59:56.719 --> 00:59:59.500
with. None of those people are exceptional. None

00:59:59.500 --> 01:00:02.099
of the people are exceptional at their job that

01:00:02.099 --> 01:00:04.219
agree you should have specific categories of

01:00:04.219 --> 01:00:07.039
race. or gender replace meritocracy. Right. No

01:00:07.039 --> 01:00:09.820
one really good, male or female, black, white,

01:00:09.860 --> 01:00:13.130
Asian. Whatever. No one really good at their

01:00:13.130 --> 01:00:15.349
job wants that. No, no, because that just gets

01:00:15.349 --> 01:00:17.269
in the way of the job. It gets in the way. It's

01:00:17.269 --> 01:00:19.550
like, I'll have to worry about this social score.

01:00:19.909 --> 01:00:23.070
Yeah, fuck off. That's kind of what we're heading

01:00:23.070 --> 01:00:25.090
towards, right? Well, it's less social. Now with

01:00:25.090 --> 01:00:27.349
Trump in office, there was a guy who was a CEO

01:00:27.349 --> 01:00:29.349
of some company that was talking about the gigantic

01:00:29.349 --> 01:00:31.789
shift in dealing with the government that had

01:00:31.789 --> 01:00:34.150
occurred right after Trump took office. He was

01:00:34.150 --> 01:00:37.170
like, it was instantaneous, like all the restrictions

01:00:37.170 --> 01:00:40.070
and regulations. And this is one of the problems.

01:00:40.139 --> 01:00:41.960
with California in particular. It's incredibly

01:00:41.960 --> 01:00:44.519
over -regulated, so it's really difficult to

01:00:44.519 --> 01:00:46.239
do anything, which is one of the reasons why

01:00:46.239 --> 01:00:48.480
so few people have even begun attempting to rebuild

01:00:48.480 --> 01:00:51.400
their fucking house. There's regulations everywhere

01:00:51.400 --> 01:00:53.900
for everything. It's just over -regulated. Well,

01:00:53.920 --> 01:00:55.059
didn't the government buy a lot of that land,

01:00:55.139 --> 01:00:56.639
or are they trying to buy that land right now

01:00:56.639 --> 01:00:58.900
in the Palisades? I don't think it's government.

01:00:59.039 --> 01:01:02.199
I think there was people that were interested

01:01:02.199 --> 01:01:06.420
in doing low -income housing, and then there

01:01:06.420 --> 01:01:08.360
was whether they were going to carve out things

01:01:08.360 --> 01:01:10.519
without their speculators. And there's that famous

01:01:10.519 --> 01:01:13.039
video of Newsom standing in front of the rubble

01:01:13.039 --> 01:01:15.739
of a burning house going, there's been some discussions.

01:01:15.820 --> 01:01:17.719
He's doing that little dance. Remember that?

01:01:17.900 --> 01:01:21.000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a sociopath. What a freaky

01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:22.440
dude. He's running for president. There's no

01:01:22.440 --> 01:01:24.460
way he's not. Yeah, I mean, good luck, dude.

01:01:24.460 --> 01:01:26.039
He's absolutely running for president. Good luck,

01:01:26.119 --> 01:01:29.019
dude. There's a lot of fucking fraud in Minnesota.

01:01:29.380 --> 01:01:31.800
Just wait till they start digging deep into the

01:01:31.800 --> 01:01:34.659
fraud in California. It's going to take an army

01:01:34.659 --> 01:01:37.699
of people to do. It's going to take a long time.

01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:41.900
But look, man, there's so much money missing.

01:01:42.260 --> 01:01:47.159
They spent $24 billion on the homeless and they

01:01:47.159 --> 01:01:51.469
can't account for it. Is it true that Gavin –

01:01:51.469 --> 01:01:53.210
let's find out this because I saw this whole

01:01:53.210 --> 01:01:56.050
article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed

01:01:56.050 --> 01:01:59.190
a bill that would do an audit of where the $24

01:01:59.190 --> 01:02:01.690
billion to the homeless went. Well, if their

01:02:01.690 --> 01:02:03.369
goal was to create more homeless with that money,

01:02:03.449 --> 01:02:05.230
they did a great job. They did a great job. They

01:02:05.230 --> 01:02:07.409
did a fantastic job. The crazy thing is they're

01:02:07.409 --> 01:02:09.349
literally incentivized to have more homeless

01:02:09.349 --> 01:02:11.190
because the more homeless people they have, the

01:02:11.190 --> 01:02:14.130
more money they get. Which is what? And then

01:02:14.130 --> 01:02:16.610
you see the salaries of the people that are working

01:02:16.610 --> 01:02:20.110
on it. Coleon Noir, my friend that's a Second

01:02:20.110 --> 01:02:22.489
Amendment advocate who's a lawyer, he was the

01:02:22.489 --> 01:02:23.750
first guy to tell me about that because he's

01:02:23.750 --> 01:02:25.650
a lawyer and he was in San Francisco. And he

01:02:25.650 --> 01:02:27.630
was like, why is there so many homeless people

01:02:27.630 --> 01:02:29.190
here? It's like, do they need more money? And

01:02:29.190 --> 01:02:32.469
his friend who was a lawyer goes, no, no, no,

01:02:32.510 --> 01:02:35.269
no, no. This whole thing is a racket. The more

01:02:35.269 --> 01:02:36.989
homeless people you have, the more you have to

01:02:36.989 --> 01:02:38.969
fund the homeless initiative. And then you have

01:02:38.969 --> 01:02:42.050
this entire ecosystem that's built around the

01:02:42.050 --> 01:02:43.889
homeless. Right. And it's just money is going

01:02:43.889 --> 01:02:45.590
to executives. Millions and millions of dollars.

01:02:45.630 --> 01:02:49.860
And in California. $24 billion. Okay, David Spade

01:02:49.860 --> 01:02:52.139
was talking about it. This really happened. He

01:02:52.139 --> 01:02:55.760
blocked bills for an audit multiple times. Bipartisan

01:02:55.760 --> 01:03:02.679
bill AB2903 unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the

01:03:02.679 --> 01:03:06.199
Assembly, 40 to 0 in the Senate, and would have

01:03:06.199 --> 01:03:08.659
forced annual public reports on where the money

01:03:08.659 --> 01:03:11.519
went. And Newsom vetoed it. Is there no system

01:03:11.519 --> 01:03:12.960
in the state? Because it's like if the president

01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:16.780
vetoes... At a federal level, I'm pretty sure

01:03:16.780 --> 01:03:20.159
if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they

01:03:20.159 --> 01:03:21.920
can do a two -thirds vote to pass it anyway.

01:03:22.760 --> 01:03:25.000
I don't understand. I don't know how it works.

01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:26.659
There is legislative ways to override a veto.

01:03:26.739 --> 01:03:29.400
This veto? Federally. Federally. I don't know

01:03:29.400 --> 01:03:31.159
about on a state level. It says Gavin Newsom

01:03:31.159 --> 01:03:37.039
also vetoed similar bills, AB 2570 and AB 2093.

01:03:38.769 --> 01:03:44.110
Wow. That is crazy. Hey, that money's just gone.

01:03:44.170 --> 01:03:48.190
$20 billion plus in missing homeless money went.

01:03:48.530 --> 01:03:52.909
That is really wild, man, that you would veto

01:03:52.909 --> 01:03:55.769
that, that it passes unanimously. And you're

01:03:55.769 --> 01:03:58.590
like, nah, playa. That's fucking gangster, dude.

01:03:58.969 --> 01:04:01.530
That's why you become a governor. It's probably

01:04:01.530 --> 01:04:04.869
a good move if you're a really shitty mayor of

01:04:04.869 --> 01:04:06.510
a place like San Francisco and you ruin it. Better

01:04:06.510 --> 01:04:09.449
be the governor. Tighten up. And stop the investigation.

01:04:09.690 --> 01:04:13.369
Stop all the fucking loopholes. I would call

01:04:13.369 --> 01:04:16.110
that good gameplay on Newsom's part. That is

01:04:16.110 --> 01:04:18.909
what you're doing. I like looking at politics

01:04:18.909 --> 01:04:20.230
from an outside perspective. That's some good

01:04:20.230 --> 01:04:22.769
gameplay right there. If it's a game, that's

01:04:22.769 --> 01:04:24.789
exactly what you should do. Great moves. Great

01:04:24.789 --> 01:04:26.670
move. Yeah. And now you're and now you sort of

01:04:26.670 --> 01:04:28.670
can launch yourself as this anti -Trump guy.

01:04:28.789 --> 01:04:31.309
And you're like, oh, it's it's it's trying to

01:04:31.309 --> 01:04:33.630
get on this pod. The problem with that dude is

01:04:33.630 --> 01:04:36.150
the presidential run is coming. He lies so much.

01:04:36.150 --> 01:04:39.380
He doesn't remember that he lied. Like he gets

01:04:39.380 --> 01:04:41.820
busted on like we've never used the term Latin

01:04:41.820 --> 01:04:46.780
X because Latinos do not like that Latin X bullshit

01:04:46.780 --> 01:04:49.340
No, you you want to fucking alienate the Mexican

01:04:49.340 --> 01:04:52.440
American community start calling them Latin X.

01:04:52.519 --> 01:04:55.300
They're like, bitch What the fuck are you saying?

01:04:55.440 --> 01:04:57.619
Well, that's fundamentally gendered language

01:04:57.619 --> 01:04:59.659
fundamentally against their language. That's

01:04:59.659 --> 01:05:01.260
the whole point They're female and male things

01:05:01.260 --> 01:05:03.219
in their language. It's a gendered language.

01:05:03.420 --> 01:05:09.610
Yeah That's crazy. That's crazy. Stop. The really

01:05:09.610 --> 01:05:12.530
crazy thing is, you know, we were talking last

01:05:12.530 --> 01:05:15.349
night with Jimmy Carr's friend. What was his

01:05:15.349 --> 01:05:19.230
name? I forgot his name. Sorry, sir. Fun guy.

01:05:19.389 --> 01:05:21.949
Interesting guy. But we got to talking about

01:05:21.949 --> 01:05:27.019
the... The different people that lived in America

01:05:27.019 --> 01:05:30.739
before Columbus got here before Cortez got here

01:05:30.739 --> 01:05:33.500
before all these Spanish explorers Turned the

01:05:33.500 --> 01:05:36.360
entire country into a spanish -speaking Catholic

01:05:36.360 --> 01:05:39.440
country, right, which is really nuts man. You

01:05:39.440 --> 01:05:42.469
know you want to talk about Colonizing like those

01:05:42.469 --> 01:05:45.230
people in Mexico. Oh, we respect their religion

01:05:45.230 --> 01:05:48.570
their culture That's the culture of their oppressors

01:05:48.570 --> 01:05:51.269
from just a few hundred years ago, right? They

01:05:51.269 --> 01:05:53.889
lost a hundred different late native languages,

01:05:54.030 --> 01:05:57.550
man They had so many languages in what is now

01:05:57.550 --> 01:06:01.489
Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820 Like

01:06:01.489 --> 01:06:03.949
whatever it was whatever they called it in the

01:06:03.949 --> 01:06:06.010
different areas. They had like over a hundred

01:06:06.010 --> 01:06:08.639
different languages. I just lost in the wind

01:06:08.639 --> 01:06:11.119
because the fucking conquistadors came through

01:06:11.119 --> 01:06:14.219
yeah and and out outnumbered they were able to

01:06:14.219 --> 01:06:16.440
do that Bro. This is crazy. Way outnumbered.

01:06:16.519 --> 01:06:20.340
Crazy. Bro, they had 13 muskets. Mm -hmm. That's

01:06:20.340 --> 01:06:23.619
all they had. 600 dudes, 13 muskets. They burned

01:06:23.619 --> 01:06:27.079
the boats and took over Mexico. Crazy. Crazy.

01:06:27.300 --> 01:06:31.079
Crazy. Just the gift of gab, too. Just able to

01:06:31.079 --> 01:06:33.519
convince Montezuma that they were God. Well,

01:06:33.539 --> 01:06:35.239
they showed up with metal. Yeah, that's a fair

01:06:35.239 --> 01:06:36.619
point. They're wearing armor and they're riding

01:06:36.619 --> 01:06:38.659
horses. They're like, this is crazy. These guys

01:06:38.659 --> 01:06:40.739
are riding horses? And there's like a famous,

01:06:40.840 --> 01:06:44.539
what was it? La Malinche? Was like a female native

01:06:44.539 --> 01:06:48.639
to the area who helped them take them down? Oh,

01:06:48.639 --> 01:06:49.940
there's quite a few people that helped them.

01:06:49.980 --> 01:06:52.059
They were very clever what they did because there

01:06:52.059 --> 01:06:55.000
wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were

01:06:55.000 --> 01:07:00.179
absolutely brutal. One of the Spanish chroniclers,

01:07:00.460 --> 01:07:08.000
some... I forget his name. Something Diaz. But

01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:10.579
one of these Spanish chroniclers, before the

01:07:10.579 --> 01:07:15.340
arrival of Cortes, he was there at the celebration

01:07:15.340 --> 01:07:18.639
of the completion of one of the temples. I think

01:07:18.639 --> 01:07:22.880
it was Tenochtitlan. And they killed somewhere

01:07:22.880 --> 01:07:27.900
between 20 ,000 as the low end and 80 ,000 as

01:07:27.900 --> 01:07:31.800
the high end. 20 ,000 to 80 ,000 people sacrificed

01:07:31.800 --> 01:07:36.179
in a four -day ceremony. That's pretty gangster.

01:07:36.260 --> 01:07:38.639
So these are the people that were there. So those

01:07:38.639 --> 01:07:41.039
are not loved people. Right, right. So it was

01:07:41.039 --> 01:07:43.380
really easy for them to get the other tribes

01:07:43.380 --> 01:07:46.239
and go, hey, guys, we got horses. We got 13 muskets.

01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:48.900
With your help. We can take them down. We can

01:07:48.900 --> 01:07:55.039
speak Spanish. Yeah. Carnitas. That's so wild.

01:07:55.340 --> 01:07:58.119
It is a fucking Mexican word, but it's a Spanish

01:07:58.119 --> 01:08:01.239
word. Yeah. It's like the language. They had

01:08:01.239 --> 01:08:03.519
names like North American, Native American names.

01:08:03.559 --> 01:08:07.739
Right. One guy was Cacao Lightning God. That

01:08:07.739 --> 01:08:09.980
was his name. I did a whole bunch of research

01:08:09.980 --> 01:08:11.860
on these people because I just got fascinated

01:08:11.860 --> 01:08:15.880
because one of the things about the Aztecs is

01:08:15.880 --> 01:08:19.229
- A lot of these, like, super complex temples,

01:08:19.470 --> 01:08:22.449
they didn't build them. They found them. Oh,

01:08:22.489 --> 01:08:25.069
yeah. We talk about, like. They called it the

01:08:25.069 --> 01:08:28.289
place where the gods were born. Yeah. These sort

01:08:28.289 --> 01:08:31.470
of, like, civilizations that, like, clearly probably

01:08:31.470 --> 01:08:34.550
existed. Because this is something that I think

01:08:34.550 --> 01:08:40.409
about is, like, okay, so do you know the story

01:08:40.409 --> 01:08:43.590
of the Achaemenid Persian Empire, like, succession?

01:08:44.220 --> 01:08:46.140
I don't know it in detail, but I'm aware of a

01:08:46.140 --> 01:08:49.159
lot of it. Right. So you have Cyrus. He has two

01:08:49.159 --> 01:08:53.100
kids, Cambyses and Bardia. He splits up the realm

01:08:53.100 --> 01:08:56.680
between the two. Cambyses goes off to conquer

01:08:56.680 --> 01:08:59.500
Egypt, but he's like, well, Bardia is popular,

01:08:59.640 --> 01:09:02.960
so let me secretly kill him and then go off to

01:09:02.960 --> 01:09:07.659
Egypt. A Magi priest then impersonates Bardia,

01:09:07.779 --> 01:09:13.000
takes over. The Achaemenid Persian Empire is

01:09:13.000 --> 01:09:16.680
the ruler now. Cambyses sort of dies on the way

01:09:16.680 --> 01:09:21.159
back mysteriously. And then Achaemenid nobleman

01:09:21.159 --> 01:09:24.199
named Darius is like, hey, this is a Magi imposter.

01:09:25.140 --> 01:09:30.220
Kills Bardia. He's now ruling. Darius leads the

01:09:30.220 --> 01:09:31.680
Achaemenid Persian Empire to be as big as it

01:09:31.680 --> 01:09:33.960
can be. And he's the father of Xerxes, the bad

01:09:33.960 --> 01:09:39.560
guy in 300. Wow. That is the only official narrative

01:09:39.560 --> 01:09:44.319
story we have that's from a primary source. And

01:09:44.319 --> 01:09:46.239
the only reason we have that is because Darius

01:09:46.239 --> 01:09:48.779
carved that story in himself into a rock relief.

01:09:48.960 --> 01:09:52.079
It's called the Behistun Relief. So that story

01:09:52.079 --> 01:09:55.479
is basically propaganda. But then 50 years later

01:09:55.479 --> 01:09:57.000
it gets picked up by Herodotus and that becomes

01:09:57.000 --> 01:09:59.739
the story of the Ascension. There's no other

01:09:59.739 --> 01:10:01.539
primary source on what happened there. You just

01:10:01.539 --> 01:10:03.960
have to take Darius' word for it. Wow. Yeah,

01:10:04.039 --> 01:10:07.000
and that's in the 5th century, and the only reason

01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:08.920
we know that is because someone carved it into

01:10:08.920 --> 01:10:12.819
a rock. Bro. Right? Like, we're not carving anything

01:10:12.819 --> 01:10:16.579
into rocks now. So if, yeah, so if something,

01:10:16.699 --> 01:10:18.340
let's say like something happens to the internet

01:10:18.340 --> 01:10:20.460
tomorrow, and it disappears, and then our civilization

01:10:20.460 --> 01:10:22.359
just vanishes off the earth, a couple people

01:10:22.359 --> 01:10:24.880
survive, and they build a whole new civilization.

01:10:25.819 --> 01:10:28.020
There's all those lines. Is that writing or is

01:10:28.020 --> 01:10:31.159
that erosion? I believe that's writing. I haven't

01:10:31.159 --> 01:10:33.399
really. Go back to that primary, the original.

01:10:34.119 --> 01:10:37.979
Okay. I think it's writing. It looks like cuneiform.

01:10:39.159 --> 01:10:43.119
And it's the way it's, yeah. But. That's the

01:10:43.119 --> 01:10:44.539
only reason we know something that happened from

01:10:44.539 --> 01:10:46.180
that time is because this exists and we have

01:10:46.180 --> 01:10:48.420
no idea if it's true Yeah, we have no idea if

01:10:48.420 --> 01:10:50.220
it's true, but no one's even carving anything

01:10:50.220 --> 01:10:52.960
into stone for us, right? So yeah, look at it.

01:10:53.020 --> 01:10:56.100
Yeah, there's no way how dope is that like yeah

01:10:56.100 --> 01:10:59.760
look how cool that looks Look how cool that looks

01:10:59.760 --> 01:11:01.840
that's how people used to write things down man,

01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:06.930
right? Can AI find, there's got to be some of

01:11:06.930 --> 01:11:09.529
these. I know there's one from Easter Island

01:11:09.529 --> 01:11:11.390
that they can't decipher. Have you ever seen

01:11:11.390 --> 01:11:15.090
that one? No. Graham Hancock explained it. And

01:11:15.090 --> 01:11:17.789
what he said was essentially the island, it was

01:11:17.789 --> 01:11:20.029
a very small island. They got raided by slavers.

01:11:20.270 --> 01:11:22.670
And they took everyone except for like 100 people.

01:11:22.890 --> 01:11:24.829
And the people that they took and enslaved, they

01:11:24.829 --> 01:11:26.470
were the ones who knew how to read this language.

01:11:26.550 --> 01:11:28.829
And then this language was lost forever. Right,

01:11:28.850 --> 01:11:31.850
damn. There's one piece of, like, wood where,

01:11:31.890 --> 01:11:34.170
yeah, that's it, where it's written on. Look

01:11:34.170 --> 01:11:37.310
how dope their language looks. Like, zoom in

01:11:37.310 --> 01:11:40.630
on, like, how crazy is that, man? Like, what

01:11:40.630 --> 01:11:44.239
are they saying? And we don't know. I wonder

01:11:44.239 --> 01:11:47.600
if they could throw that through AI and get sort

01:11:47.600 --> 01:11:49.500
of an understanding of what these symbols were.

01:11:49.579 --> 01:11:51.220
But you'd have to have a base. Like that was

01:11:51.220 --> 01:11:53.260
the thing about the Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta

01:11:53.260 --> 01:11:55.340
Stone really helped people in Egypt because you're

01:11:55.340 --> 01:11:57.520
like, oh, this is how it's written in Greek.

01:11:57.640 --> 01:12:00.239
And this is OK. Now we know what it's said in

01:12:00.239 --> 01:12:03.199
multiple languages. Now we get an understanding

01:12:03.199 --> 01:12:06.420
of it. Yeah. But so the overall point being,

01:12:06.420 --> 01:12:09.000
though, is like in our time, if the Internet

01:12:09.000 --> 01:12:12.640
disappears. And we're gone. There's nothing from

01:12:12.640 --> 01:12:14.579
this time that's really being recorded. It'll

01:12:14.579 --> 01:12:17.020
just be lost. Oh, yeah. All the hard drive stuff

01:12:17.020 --> 01:12:19.520
gone. Yeah. Just be lost. We'll have to relearn

01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:22.279
things. Yeah. But our time, the Americans, there'll

01:12:22.279 --> 01:12:23.699
just be some ancient thing that people might

01:12:23.699 --> 01:12:28.060
not know ever existed. It says about the it's

01:12:28.060 --> 01:12:32.869
called the wrong. Rongorongo. Rongorongo, a glyph

01:12:32.869 --> 01:12:36.289
-based script from Easter Island, remains undeciphered

01:12:36.289 --> 01:12:38.550
despite over a century of study. Imagine you're

01:12:38.550 --> 01:12:41.970
studying it for a century. People's whole lives

01:12:41.970 --> 01:12:43.550
have been dedicated to this. No one knows exactly

01:12:43.550 --> 01:12:45.850
what it says, as all attempts to translate it

01:12:45.850 --> 01:12:48.630
fully have failed, with scholars debating if

01:12:48.630 --> 01:12:52.210
it's true writing or proto -writing used as a

01:12:52.210 --> 01:12:55.319
memory aid. A memory aid. Yeah, lines alternate

01:12:55.319 --> 01:12:57.579
direction, often upside down. Oh, so that's so

01:12:57.579 --> 01:13:01.420
hard. Even the direction is ever -changing. You're

01:13:01.420 --> 01:13:03.539
not writing right to left. You're just kind of

01:13:03.539 --> 01:13:04.979
going wherever you want with it. What is the

01:13:04.979 --> 01:13:07.880
latest on the Voynich manuscripts? Has anybody

01:13:07.880 --> 01:13:10.699
thrown that through AI to try to see if it makes

01:13:10.699 --> 01:13:12.739
any sense? Do you know about that? Yeah, were

01:13:12.739 --> 01:13:15.539
they found on a guy? Was that one of them? No,

01:13:15.579 --> 01:13:19.180
it's some weird book. And the question is whether

01:13:19.180 --> 01:13:21.840
or not this book is just complete gibberish and

01:13:21.840 --> 01:13:23.819
nonsense or whether it's some lost language.

01:13:24.119 --> 01:13:27.520
And where it's really detailed, too. What was

01:13:27.520 --> 01:13:29.439
it found? It's a good question. I don't remember.

01:13:30.800 --> 01:13:34.579
Published... Knobby Cipher, is that what it's

01:13:34.579 --> 01:13:39.380
called? Published November 26, 2025 in Crypt...

01:13:39.869 --> 01:13:44.170
Cryptologia by science journalist Michael Greshko

01:13:44.170 --> 01:13:48.210
introduced the Nabi cipher, which uses 14th century

01:13:48.210 --> 01:13:51.310
Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin

01:13:51.310 --> 01:13:54.250
or Italian text into glyphs, mimicking the Voynich

01:13:54.250 --> 01:13:58.229
manuscripts Voynichese. This cipher replicates

01:13:58.229 --> 01:14:01.090
key statistical features like glyph frequencies,

01:14:01.390 --> 01:14:05.939
word lengths. Grammar rules suggesting a similar

01:14:05.939 --> 01:14:07.899
medieval method could have generated the original

01:14:07.899 --> 01:14:10.699
15th century text, although it does not decode

01:14:10.699 --> 01:14:14.779
it. Wow. Have you seen it? See if you can find

01:14:14.779 --> 01:14:17.100
images of it. It's freaky. Where was it found?

01:14:17.319 --> 01:14:19.720
That's a really good question. Let's find that

01:14:19.720 --> 01:14:21.640
out now. The Voynich Ninja. There's groups dedicated

01:14:21.640 --> 01:14:24.500
to this. People are obsessed with it. This is

01:14:24.500 --> 01:14:27.300
a fun thing to be obsessed with. Just do me a

01:14:27.300 --> 01:14:30.800
favor and just go back to perplexity and say,

01:14:30.960 --> 01:14:37.199
how was it discovered? I'm curious. Because I

01:14:37.199 --> 01:14:40.699
feel like someone had it and someone bought it

01:14:40.699 --> 01:14:44.100
from someone. I could have been wrong. I thought

01:14:44.100 --> 01:14:47.020
it was found on a body. I could be wrong about

01:14:47.020 --> 01:14:48.520
that. I might be thinking of another thing. It

01:14:48.520 --> 01:14:50.880
was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish -American

01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:54.119
rare books dealer Wilfrid Voynich. Okay. He named

01:14:54.119 --> 01:14:56.449
it himself. Clever guy. I like that. Fuck it.

01:14:56.449 --> 01:14:58.029
Something of mine survived. It's mine, bitch.

01:14:58.390 --> 01:15:00.229
They say you die. The second time you die is

01:15:00.229 --> 01:15:01.590
when someone says your name last, so we're just

01:15:01.590 --> 01:15:04.069
keeping him alive. He acquired it from the Jesuit

01:15:04.069 --> 01:15:09.829
college in Frascati, Italy, as a part of a batch

01:15:09.829 --> 01:15:12.789
of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the

01:15:12.789 --> 01:15:15.770
Jesuits' financial difficulties. How many of

01:15:15.770 --> 01:15:17.609
these motherfuckers in the Vatican are sitting

01:15:17.609 --> 01:15:20.500
on some shit that they don't have to sell? Oh,

01:15:20.500 --> 01:15:22.619
yeah. That would, like, change the world completely.

01:15:22.640 --> 01:15:25.979
Yeah. Carbon dating places its creation around

01:15:25.979 --> 01:15:30.960
1404 to 1438, likely in northern Italy. Emperor

01:15:30.960 --> 01:15:34.460
Rudolf II bought it in the late 1500s for 600

01:15:34.460 --> 01:15:38.460
gold ducats, possibly from John Dee. It later

01:15:38.460 --> 01:15:40.920
passed to Jacobus. How about this guy's name?

01:15:41.340 --> 01:15:48.390
Jacobus Horsiki de... Dependence. Eastern European

01:15:48.390 --> 01:15:50.810
stuff. That feels like. Dependence. You can't

01:15:50.810 --> 01:15:52.489
even. It looks like Hungarian. The problem is

01:15:52.489 --> 01:15:55.270
there's some names like Joanna Janjacek. If you

01:15:55.270 --> 01:15:57.510
saw the way it's written, there's no way you

01:15:57.510 --> 01:15:58.529
would pronounce it correctly. Any of those Eastern

01:15:58.529 --> 01:16:01.149
European names, it's like how did you even get

01:16:01.149 --> 01:16:05.590
that? Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912. He publicized

01:16:05.590 --> 01:16:09.010
the Undeciphered Codex now at Yale's Beinecke

01:16:09.010 --> 01:16:13.149
Library, sparking global interest despite failed

01:16:13.149 --> 01:16:16.159
decoding attempts. Pull up some images of it

01:16:16.159 --> 01:16:19.340
so you can see what it looks like. It's real

01:16:19.340 --> 01:16:22.319
weird, man. It's real weird and it has detailed

01:16:22.319 --> 01:16:24.539
illustrations. Of like plants and stuff. Oh,

01:16:24.539 --> 01:16:28.180
here we go. Here's a little video. So you can

01:16:28.180 --> 01:16:30.239
see how cool it looks when they're opening up

01:16:30.239 --> 01:16:32.560
the book. Anything that you're getting that's

01:16:32.560 --> 01:16:36.640
a book that's from the fucking 1400s or 1200s.

01:16:36.640 --> 01:16:42.260
When is it from? 1500s? So the 1400s. Any book

01:16:42.260 --> 01:16:44.119
that you're getting from the 1400s is fucking

01:16:44.119 --> 01:16:47.039
wild as it is. Just imagine these fucking people

01:16:47.039 --> 01:16:49.720
living back then, writing this shit down with

01:16:49.720 --> 01:16:52.000
a feather. Just touching it with their bare hands,

01:16:52.060 --> 01:16:54.880
huh? Yeah, you have to. It's actually worse to

01:16:54.880 --> 01:16:57.079
do it with gloves. Really? Yeah, they found out

01:16:57.079 --> 01:17:01.079
that gloves, the rubber is more abrasive. Than

01:17:01.079 --> 01:17:03.060
your finger? The oils of your finger is actually

01:17:03.060 --> 01:17:04.840
more protective or something along those lines.

01:17:04.920 --> 01:17:08.100
Wow. Look how cool that looks though. And they

01:17:08.100 --> 01:17:10.279
don't know if that's a real language. That's

01:17:10.279 --> 01:17:14.060
what's nuts. You can't decode it. This is a good

01:17:14.060 --> 01:17:17.060
YouTube rabbit hole. It's a good one. It's an

01:17:17.060 --> 01:17:19.600
interesting one because people say it's a hoax,

01:17:19.699 --> 01:17:21.659
but the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's

01:17:21.659 --> 01:17:25.319
really well done and very complex and an incredible

01:17:25.319 --> 01:17:26.739
amount of time dedicated to it. The fact that

01:17:26.739 --> 01:17:29.399
it's still tripping up people now, it's like

01:17:29.399 --> 01:17:31.840
it's an all -time great hoax then. Sort of, but

01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:34.220
think about how many languages we've lost. We

01:17:34.220 --> 01:17:36.960
just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere

01:17:36.960 --> 01:17:39.319
around that in what is now considered Mexico.

01:17:39.899 --> 01:17:43.039
Now think about the rest of the world. Here's

01:17:43.039 --> 01:17:47.319
another instance. mobs of indigenous people in

01:17:47.319 --> 01:17:50.680
Australia the aborigines right so they call themselves

01:17:50.680 --> 01:17:53.100
mobs and that you know instead of a tribe all

01:17:53.100 --> 01:17:57.180
right and They have mobs that will live six ten

01:17:57.180 --> 01:17:59.819
kilometers away that speak a completely different

01:17:59.819 --> 01:18:03.000
language And they're all over the place and they

01:18:03.000 --> 01:18:06.420
don't have these things written anywhere So there's

01:18:06.420 --> 01:18:08.199
a bunch of their languages that are just spoken

01:18:08.199 --> 01:18:10.640
orally and just disappear and they will disappear

01:18:10.640 --> 01:18:12.880
And we don't know how many languages there are

01:18:13.590 --> 01:18:16.369
Like my friend Adam Green Tree, he used to own

01:18:16.369 --> 01:18:18.810
a mining company in Australia, and he employed

01:18:18.810 --> 01:18:20.670
a lot of Aborigines, and he knows a lot about

01:18:20.670 --> 01:18:24.739
the culture. He was like, dude, it's the craziest

01:18:24.739 --> 01:18:27.399
history because a lot of it is not written down

01:18:27.399 --> 01:18:30.619
and there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide

01:18:30.619 --> 01:18:33.180
attached to it. There's a cave that you can go

01:18:33.180 --> 01:18:37.140
to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poison

01:18:37.140 --> 01:18:39.420
food on purpose, like a whole crew of them. And

01:18:39.420 --> 01:18:41.319
so there's like just their bones are in this

01:18:41.319 --> 01:18:43.800
cave still to this day. He goes, dude, it's the

01:18:43.800 --> 01:18:45.460
darkest fucking thing you've ever seen in your

01:18:45.460 --> 01:18:47.760
life. You think about this family and their children,

01:18:47.859 --> 01:18:50.560
they're starving. And these people, these, you

01:18:50.560 --> 01:18:53.010
know. White people in Australia were essentially

01:18:53.010 --> 01:18:55.569
prisoners that England shipped over there. Right.

01:18:55.689 --> 01:18:58.529
Just gave them poison. And just, damn. Damn.

01:18:58.649 --> 01:19:03.649
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. And, bro, they got some

01:19:03.649 --> 01:19:08.409
crazy rock art. You ever see the glyphs of, like,

01:19:08.409 --> 01:19:12.090
alien -looking dudes and shit? Yeah, there's,

01:19:12.109 --> 01:19:13.829
like, people that look like they're on rocket

01:19:13.829 --> 01:19:16.810
ships and spacesuits. What information, what

01:19:16.810 --> 01:19:19.369
stories, what is their version of the Bible that

01:19:19.369 --> 01:19:22.029
we missed? Because they never wrote it down.

01:19:22.149 --> 01:19:23.550
Yeah, there's something to do with a large flood.

01:19:23.710 --> 01:19:25.949
That seems to be consistent. The Hopi had that.

01:19:26.090 --> 01:19:27.689
Yeah, something to do with a large flood and

01:19:27.689 --> 01:19:29.770
something to do with some sort of either dragon

01:19:29.770 --> 01:19:34.949
or serpent type bad guy. Right. Those are the

01:19:34.949 --> 01:19:38.029
two main consistent things across most cultures.

01:19:38.250 --> 01:19:41.810
Some large flood event and some snake. Yeah.

01:19:42.149 --> 01:19:45.329
Yeah, that's all. And I wonder what the snake

01:19:45.329 --> 01:19:47.960
in the Bible really looked like. In the Adam

01:19:47.960 --> 01:19:49.460
and Eve story, anytime you see a picture painted

01:19:49.460 --> 01:19:53.399
of it, it's painted as a snake. But the snake's

01:19:53.399 --> 01:19:56.079
punishment was it lost its limbs. So this was

01:19:56.079 --> 01:20:01.180
a dragon. Right? Because the snake's punishment

01:20:01.180 --> 01:20:03.539
was it has to slither on the ground. But is that

01:20:03.539 --> 01:20:05.840
the snake's punishment forever? Is that like

01:20:05.840 --> 01:20:08.579
why God did that to the snakes, period? I think

01:20:08.579 --> 01:20:11.960
so. I think that's the whole... Right. But doesn't

01:20:11.960 --> 01:20:14.800
that just explain what a snake looks like rather

01:20:14.800 --> 01:20:17.710
than describe a dragon? Like, why doesn't it

01:20:17.710 --> 01:20:20.329
have limbs? God took away its limbs. You know

01:20:20.329 --> 01:20:21.329
what I mean? I see what you're saying. Maybe

01:20:21.329 --> 01:20:24.130
it's reversed. It seems like it's reversed. Yeah,

01:20:24.130 --> 01:20:25.789
maybe I just really wanted to be a dragon. Yeah,

01:20:25.789 --> 01:20:27.369
it seems like, how come they don't get to have

01:20:27.369 --> 01:20:29.409
legs? Yeah, yeah. How come you don't get to have

01:20:29.409 --> 01:20:34.649
wings, bitch? You know? Because if you really

01:20:34.649 --> 01:20:37.510
think about it, like, there are so many different

01:20:37.510 --> 01:20:40.090
stories. This is why, like, you know, The View,

01:20:40.210 --> 01:20:42.210
like, that's that famous Joy Behar clip where

01:20:42.210 --> 01:20:43.869
she said, he believes in dragons. Great clip.

01:20:44.090 --> 01:20:46.670
Yeah, it's awesome. Great clip. conversation

01:20:46.670 --> 01:20:48.550
that I had with Forrest Gallant who's a wildlife

01:20:48.550 --> 01:20:52.970
biologist he's like there's a lot of depictions

01:20:52.970 --> 01:20:56.329
of these flying serpents and large serpents with

01:20:56.329 --> 01:21:00.069
wings all over the world it's weird right it

01:21:00.069 --> 01:21:02.050
is really weird yeah it's like it's like a thing

01:21:02.050 --> 01:21:04.770
really weird and we know some dinosaurs flew

01:21:04.770 --> 01:21:07.449
so there might have been some do you think there's

01:21:07.449 --> 01:21:10.310
some sort of cross well here's the thing The

01:21:10.310 --> 01:21:15.750
Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large

01:21:15.750 --> 01:21:18.250
dinosaur -like creature forever to the point

01:21:18.250 --> 01:21:20.510
where explorers have made their way into the

01:21:20.510 --> 01:21:23.069
Congo to try to find this thing. Okay. That resembles

01:21:23.069 --> 01:21:26.850
– I think it resembles a brontosaurus. That could

01:21:26.850 --> 01:21:29.710
fly? No, no, no. Okay. That was in the jungle.

01:21:30.069 --> 01:21:34.409
So the question is, is it possible that a creature

01:21:34.409 --> 01:21:37.449
could live for an extended period of time and

01:21:37.449 --> 01:21:40.689
then maybe in the – 1100s or a thousand years

01:21:40.689 --> 01:21:43.149
ago or whatever 2000 years ago they slaughtered

01:21:43.149 --> 01:21:46.029
them all and killed them off like maybe it maybe

01:21:46.029 --> 01:21:48.069
they have a long gestation period like an elephant

01:21:48.069 --> 01:21:50.569
you know maybe maybe it's possible they realize

01:21:50.569 --> 01:21:51.970
these things were a threat they knew where they'd

01:21:51.970 --> 01:21:53.989
end up there was a small population anywhere

01:21:53.989 --> 01:21:57.920
and they killed them off right maybe maybe It's

01:21:57.920 --> 01:22:00.819
not likely. There's no bones. There's no nothing.

01:22:00.960 --> 01:22:03.319
But there's no bones of most things. That's the

01:22:03.319 --> 01:22:06.560
thing. Most things that die do not leave a fossil.

01:22:06.760 --> 01:22:09.399
And then they find things that they thought were

01:22:09.399 --> 01:22:12.920
extinct. Not just extinct, but extinct for millions

01:22:12.920 --> 01:22:15.819
and millions of years. One of them is the coelacanth.

01:22:15.960 --> 01:22:18.680
You know about the coelacanth? No. So the coelacanth

01:22:18.680 --> 01:22:23.659
is this crazy looking dinosaur fish that is unchanged

01:22:23.659 --> 01:22:28.489
from, God, I want to say. Tens of millions of

01:22:28.489 --> 01:22:30.430
years. I don't know how old, but when you look

01:22:30.430 --> 01:22:32.930
at it, you're like, yo, look at that thing. And

01:22:32.930 --> 01:22:35.369
then they caught one once. They caught it. Like,

01:22:35.430 --> 01:22:37.350
I don't know, it was a fishing net or a fishing

01:22:37.350 --> 01:22:40.109
boat, but they caught one. And then they realized,

01:22:40.210 --> 01:22:41.890
like, oh, my God, these things are still alive.

01:22:42.170 --> 01:22:43.770
Like, we thought this was a part of the fossil

01:22:43.770 --> 01:22:46.409
record. Damn. And then they realized that there's

01:22:46.409 --> 01:22:48.470
parts of the ocean that we just haven't explored

01:22:48.470 --> 01:22:50.470
and these things. And then they've caught a bunch

01:22:50.470 --> 01:22:52.960
of them since. And then other fishermen have

01:22:52.960 --> 01:22:55.800
caught them. But it's a very deep, deep sea creature

01:22:55.800 --> 01:22:59.939
that is really ancient. How old is the coelacanth?

01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:05.960
Like how long has it been around for? Man. I

01:23:05.960 --> 01:23:07.600
hope I'm saying the word right. That's so wild

01:23:07.600 --> 01:23:09.260
to not find one for years and then all of a sudden

01:23:09.260 --> 01:23:11.159
you just find a bunch. Well, they found a few.

01:23:11.720 --> 01:23:13.500
Well, now that they know they exist, they're

01:23:13.500 --> 01:23:14.359
looking in that area. They kind of know what

01:23:14.359 --> 01:23:15.560
to look for. And then they're fishing in that

01:23:15.560 --> 01:23:18.250
area and they caught them. Can you show me an

01:23:18.250 --> 01:23:21.130
image of the coelacanth? Oh, I think there's

01:23:21.130 --> 01:23:23.090
a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like

01:23:23.090 --> 01:23:26.689
called like, I think it's called, it just goes

01:23:26.689 --> 01:23:29.710
and looks through what the earth looked like

01:23:29.710 --> 01:23:34.449
in different eras. So that's that freaky fish.

01:23:34.750 --> 01:23:37.130
Oh, yeah, I've seen this. It's armored. It's

01:23:37.130 --> 01:23:39.369
got like these crazy scales on it. It just, it

01:23:39.369 --> 01:23:45.189
looks like a throwback. So three, hold up, go

01:23:45.189 --> 01:23:49.550
up. Relatives being the first left seas 385...

01:23:49.550 --> 01:23:54.010
Okay. So they're not our direct ancestors, but

01:23:54.010 --> 01:23:56.250
they're still relatives of beings that first

01:23:56.250 --> 01:23:59.210
left the seas. They left the sea 385 million

01:23:59.210 --> 01:24:01.689
years ago and became four -legged terrestrial

01:24:01.689 --> 01:24:04.430
animals. Damn, and this is like a common link?

01:24:04.489 --> 01:24:07.770
So what they're saying is there's creatures that

01:24:07.770 --> 01:24:10.819
left... So something like that... Left the sea

01:24:10.819 --> 01:24:13.640
385 million years ago and became four -legged

01:24:13.640 --> 01:24:16.619
terrestrial animals from which we sprung. And

01:24:16.619 --> 01:24:18.880
these relatives are still alive today. So how

01:24:18.880 --> 01:24:24.439
long has the coelacanth been around? It weighed

01:24:24.439 --> 01:24:29.579
188 pounds. In 1938, floating off the South African

01:24:29.579 --> 01:24:31.539
coast in the Indian Ocean, fishermen from the

01:24:31.539 --> 01:24:34.359
urban caught an unknown creature. It weighed

01:24:34.359 --> 01:24:37.260
188 pounds, five feet in length, dark blue in

01:24:37.260 --> 01:24:42.970
color. unabashedly chomped its jaws. This was

01:24:42.970 --> 01:24:46.130
not a fish, not just any fish, it had scales,

01:24:46.310 --> 01:24:49.289
fins, and limbs, or more precisely, rudiments

01:24:49.289 --> 01:24:52.489
thereof. Moreover, there were seven of them,

01:24:52.609 --> 01:24:55.250
two in the back, three on the belly, and another

01:24:55.250 --> 01:24:57.630
pair on the head. They had limbs on their head?

01:24:58.250 --> 01:25:00.210
Whoa. Damn. Should we know the local population

01:25:00.210 --> 01:25:01.989
occasionally caught these creatures that didn't

01:25:01.989 --> 01:25:04.689
even come up with a name for them? Gombessa.

01:25:05.369 --> 01:25:07.489
which can be translated as bitter fish. Love

01:25:07.489 --> 01:25:09.350
that. Just eat it first. Find out later. The

01:25:09.350 --> 01:25:12.130
residents knew that it was nearly inedible. It

01:25:12.130 --> 01:25:14.289
was consumed due to the belief that its meat

01:25:14.289 --> 01:25:17.550
helped to cope with malaria symptoms. Yo. Although

01:25:17.550 --> 01:25:19.369
it was possible to make something like sandpaper

01:25:19.369 --> 01:25:21.649
from the extremely strong and bristly scales.

01:25:22.170 --> 01:25:25.710
So when did they think... Look at what it looked

01:25:25.710 --> 01:25:30.479
like. That's crazy. That's wild. That thing looks

01:25:30.479 --> 01:25:32.579
scary. It looks like a monster. With all those

01:25:32.579 --> 01:25:35.619
weird appendages. Right. Eventually made its

01:25:35.619 --> 01:25:40.220
way onto the shore. Yeah. Nuts, man. How long

01:25:40.220 --> 01:25:43.279
ago was that? Like, how long did they think that

01:25:43.279 --> 01:25:47.520
thing had been extinct for? You'd have to look

01:25:47.520 --> 01:25:53.279
that up. Yeah. Just put into perplexity the history

01:25:53.279 --> 01:26:01.159
of the coelacanth. Okay, here we go. How old

01:26:01.159 --> 01:26:07.000
is this motherfucker? 420 million years. Wow.

01:26:07.920 --> 01:26:12.300
Rediscovered. Damn, bro. That's wild. Wow. That's

01:26:12.300 --> 01:26:13.220
impressive. They thought it had been extinct

01:26:13.220 --> 01:26:16.659
for 66 million years. And it was just living.

01:26:17.100 --> 01:26:20.079
Whoa. Dude, to live that long, that's pretty

01:26:20.079 --> 01:26:24.500
crazy. That's incredible. Yeah, that's... That's

01:26:24.500 --> 01:26:28.590
incredible. Mm -hmm. So, this thing... That was

01:26:28.590 --> 01:26:31.229
alive 400 million years ago is still alive today.

01:26:31.329 --> 01:26:33.590
I thought it was extinct for 68 million years

01:26:34.119 --> 01:26:36.960
Is it possible that there's something else like

01:26:36.960 --> 01:26:40.659
that that's on land? Less likely, I think. I

01:26:40.659 --> 01:26:43.520
think ocean is more likely. Well, it's more undiscovered,

01:26:43.520 --> 01:26:46.020
right? Not just that. It's also more protective

01:26:46.020 --> 01:26:49.579
of environmental change, right? Right. So it's

01:26:49.579 --> 01:26:52.079
probably less dependent on all the – especially

01:26:52.079 --> 01:26:54.239
if you're a sea predator, you're probably less

01:26:54.239 --> 01:26:57.739
dependent on all the plants growing in nuclear

01:26:57.739 --> 01:26:59.539
winter that's happening on the fucking surface.

01:26:59.739 --> 01:27:01.380
Right. Where everything dies off and the ice

01:27:01.380 --> 01:27:04.880
age comes and it's fucking – Meteor dust everywhere.

01:27:05.000 --> 01:27:07.779
You can survive a lot of stuff like climate change.

01:27:07.859 --> 01:27:09.739
You're not worried about that really. Probably

01:27:09.739 --> 01:27:12.819
you are, but it's probably something more things

01:27:12.819 --> 01:27:14.539
would probably survive in the ocean, I would

01:27:14.539 --> 01:27:17.439
imagine. Yeah, that makes more sense. How old

01:27:17.439 --> 01:27:20.800
are alligators and crocodiles? Aren't sharks

01:27:20.800 --> 01:27:23.039
older than trees or something like that? Older

01:27:23.039 --> 01:27:26.859
than trees. Older than trees. That's such a mindfuck

01:27:26.859 --> 01:27:29.239
to think about. There's something that could

01:27:29.239 --> 01:27:32.109
be older than... Yeah, and they still are essentially

01:27:32.109 --> 01:27:34.949
in the same form. Just fucking swimming, eating

01:27:34.949 --> 01:27:37.890
machines. Apex predators forever. You hear about

01:27:37.890 --> 01:27:39.649
that lady off Santa Cruz that got got the other

01:27:39.649 --> 01:27:41.729
day? No, but have you read that book about the,

01:27:41.729 --> 01:27:44.189
I read that book about the shark attacks in 1916?

01:27:44.470 --> 01:27:46.390
Oh yeah, in New Jersey? Yeah, close to shore

01:27:46.390 --> 01:27:48.409
where it's like, oh damn. It's in a river. Yeah,

01:27:48.529 --> 01:27:51.189
it went in a freshwater river. Yeah. But they

01:27:51.189 --> 01:27:53.170
also didn't think sharks were dangerous at that

01:27:53.170 --> 01:27:55.819
time. That's so crazy. Like that was in that

01:27:55.819 --> 01:27:58.180
time, there were people like, oh, sharks, they're

01:27:58.180 --> 01:28:00.000
just like sea puppies. They'll leave you alone.

01:28:00.579 --> 01:28:02.819
That was the thought. Part of the reason why

01:28:02.819 --> 01:28:05.020
that stuck out to people were like, oh, sharks

01:28:05.020 --> 01:28:07.939
are like dangerous creatures. Especially bull

01:28:07.939 --> 01:28:09.640
sharks because bull sharks are the ones that

01:28:09.640 --> 01:28:12.159
can swim all the way up to like they made their

01:28:12.159 --> 01:28:15.659
way to Illinois. Oh, yeah. And they're more aggressive

01:28:15.659 --> 01:28:17.239
than the great whites, right? Oh, yeah. They're

01:28:17.239 --> 01:28:19.180
hyper aggressive. But they make their way all

01:28:19.180 --> 01:28:21.899
the way up freshwater rivers, all the way up

01:28:21.899 --> 01:28:25.060
into like cold environments. Fucking Illinois

01:28:25.060 --> 01:28:27.939
had bull sharks. Yeah. In fresh water. Just a

01:28:27.939 --> 01:28:31.520
fresh water shark. It's just, how bad luck do

01:28:31.520 --> 01:28:33.579
you, how much of a bad luck do you have to be

01:28:33.579 --> 01:28:35.939
in a river and get attacked by a shark? It was

01:28:35.939 --> 01:28:38.239
your time to go. You had your legs dangling out

01:28:38.239 --> 01:28:41.439
of an inner tube. Yeah. Just chopped up. And

01:28:41.439 --> 01:28:43.380
all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and

01:28:43.380 --> 01:28:44.960
you see red in the water and you realize your

01:28:44.960 --> 01:28:46.899
leg's gone. Yeah, it takes you a second to realize

01:28:46.899 --> 01:28:48.720
your leg is gone too because it's so sharp and

01:28:48.720 --> 01:28:50.739
so, yeah. Just slices through and you don't expect

01:28:50.739 --> 01:28:53.359
it. Jeez, yeah. Well, we were not expecting a

01:28:53.359 --> 01:28:55.119
shark. Shark in the lake. And you look down,

01:28:55.140 --> 01:28:57.619
you see the white of your kneecap. Everything

01:28:57.619 --> 01:29:00.920
underneath it is just torn tissue. Fuck. Yeah.

01:29:01.000 --> 01:29:03.939
Yeah. They didn't think it was dangerous at the

01:29:03.939 --> 01:29:05.600
time like that. Isn't that crazy? That's so wild.

01:29:05.680 --> 01:29:07.880
It's so wild. All the way up until 1960. In fact,

01:29:07.920 --> 01:29:09.300
some people thought sharks were just something

01:29:09.300 --> 01:29:12.520
that sailors made up. Whoa. Yeah. Just like,

01:29:12.560 --> 01:29:14.220
oh, this giant sea creature that'll eat you.

01:29:15.039 --> 01:29:16.279
They don't know what they're talking about. This

01:29:16.279 --> 01:29:18.260
is just a sea myth. Well, it's also when you

01:29:18.260 --> 01:29:20.399
think about it, when people came to America,

01:29:20.579 --> 01:29:22.300
because there's no sharks in England. There's

01:29:22.300 --> 01:29:24.159
no sharks in Ireland. Right. They don't have

01:29:24.159 --> 01:29:26.779
a problem over there. So when they came to America,

01:29:27.680 --> 01:29:30.699
there was only, like, we're talking about this

01:29:30.699 --> 01:29:33.399
shark attack was in the early 1900s, right? Yes,

01:29:33.399 --> 01:29:35.840
1916. So think about that. There's only like

01:29:35.840 --> 01:29:37.920
a couple hundred years of people even being here.

01:29:38.100 --> 01:29:41.750
Right. That year was like a perfect storm of

01:29:41.750 --> 01:29:44.149
like the beach became like an acceptable thing

01:29:44.149 --> 01:29:47.949
to go lounge at. Before that, it wasn't a thing.

01:29:48.920 --> 01:29:50.380
I even tried to twist it to say that it was trying

01:29:50.380 --> 01:29:52.699
to attack the dog, not the person. The person

01:29:52.699 --> 01:29:55.979
was in the way. Yeah, he hates dogs. What? It

01:29:55.979 --> 01:29:59.579
does lay out certain things like if you are swimming

01:29:59.579 --> 01:30:02.000
with a dog, you're more likely to get attacked

01:30:02.000 --> 01:30:05.199
by a shark. Interesting. And it's like something

01:30:05.199 --> 01:30:07.439
like a full moon. Like the moon really regulates

01:30:07.439 --> 01:30:09.680
sharks' emotions. So like more shark attacks

01:30:09.680 --> 01:30:11.699
happen on full moons. Oh, fuck. There's certain

01:30:11.699 --> 01:30:13.539
things. Yeah, apparently having the dog, they

01:30:13.539 --> 01:30:16.670
never attack the dog. Really? But the dog attracts

01:30:16.670 --> 01:30:18.710
the, something about how they swim attacks the

01:30:18.710 --> 01:30:20.289
shark. Dogs don't get killed by sharks? Not,

01:30:20.289 --> 01:30:23.770
they will attack the person. Really? Mm -hmm.

01:30:24.350 --> 01:30:27.029
Wow. The book lays it out. There is something,

01:30:27.149 --> 01:30:31.029
there is like a, like a coordinate, like there

01:30:31.029 --> 01:30:33.609
are a bunch of different factors that sort of

01:30:33.609 --> 01:30:37.930
apply to that. Whoa. Mm -hmm. I don't think there's

01:30:37.930 --> 01:30:41.489
anything alive right now that is, you know, dinosaur

01:30:41.489 --> 01:30:44.739
-like, but. I wonder how long they stuck around

01:30:44.739 --> 01:30:48.300
for. How long some of them stayed. Just the last

01:30:48.300 --> 01:30:51.439
vegetables. If crocodiles and alligators didn't

01:30:51.439 --> 01:30:53.920
exist, like let's just imagine crocodiles didn't

01:30:53.920 --> 01:30:56.260
exist. The big ones, the Nile crocodiles. Let's

01:30:56.260 --> 01:30:58.579
imagine no one thought there was a crocodile.

01:30:58.779 --> 01:31:01.100
It's nonsense. And then one day someone got a

01:31:01.100 --> 01:31:03.859
video of one in the Congo. You'd be like, no,

01:31:04.199 --> 01:31:08.279
dinosaurs are real. That's a dinosaur. That is

01:31:08.279 --> 01:31:11.600
a straight up dinosaur. Yeah, it's a giant lizard.

01:31:12.140 --> 01:31:15.060
That is technically what's left. This dude, Josh

01:31:15.060 --> 01:31:17.460
Bomar, he's a bow hunter, and he just killed

01:31:17.460 --> 01:31:19.779
a world record crocodile, and I think it was

01:31:19.779 --> 01:31:22.359
in Tanzania. Actually, I think he might have

01:31:22.359 --> 01:31:26.659
did it like two years ago. This thing is so big.

01:31:27.300 --> 01:31:31.800
I think it's like 17 feet long, and it's probably

01:31:31.800 --> 01:31:34.779
over 100 years old. He killed it with a bow.

01:31:34.880 --> 01:31:37.359
Look at the size of that thing. Good God. Now.

01:31:38.120 --> 01:31:41.439
Imagine if that thing didn't exist. If no one

01:31:41.439 --> 01:31:43.359
thought that that thing existed. And then you

01:31:43.359 --> 01:31:44.979
saw that. And then you saw that. You'd be like,

01:31:45.039 --> 01:31:48.020
yeah, that's a monster that I saw. Like, look

01:31:48.020 --> 01:31:50.359
at the size of that thing, man. Like, if nobody

01:31:50.359 --> 01:31:54.029
went to Tanzania ever. If it was just a place

01:31:54.029 --> 01:31:56.789
that no one went to, and then people went there

01:31:56.789 --> 01:31:58.010
and they saw that, they're like, oh, my God,

01:31:58.050 --> 01:31:59.970
dinosaurs are still alive. Right. Because that's

01:31:59.970 --> 01:32:03.869
a fucking dinosaur. Period. Full stop. Yeah,

01:32:04.229 --> 01:32:05.909
you'd be absolutely offended. You can call it

01:32:05.909 --> 01:32:08.010
a crocodile, whatever. It's a species of dinosaurs

01:32:08.010 --> 01:32:11.789
that made it. It's still here. Like, when did

01:32:11.789 --> 01:32:16.050
crocodiles first evolve? 83 to 95 million years

01:32:16.050 --> 01:32:18.270
ago, late Cretaceous. Younger than the coelacanth.

01:32:18.560 --> 01:32:20.760
Yeah, crazy. Up to 250 million years ago. He's

01:32:20.760 --> 01:32:23.500
still young. By 100 million years. Well, it's

01:32:23.500 --> 01:32:25.439
probably the ancestor that came to shore and

01:32:25.439 --> 01:32:27.840
started eating shit. Right, right. If everything

01:32:27.840 --> 01:32:32.079
came out of the ocean, allegedly. Okay, there

01:32:32.079 --> 01:32:33.920
is something. So there's something that I do.

01:32:33.979 --> 01:32:36.439
It's like a gratefulness thing that I do. Because

01:32:36.439 --> 01:32:38.340
this is like a big moment for me in my career.

01:32:38.420 --> 01:32:40.859
I just released a special. I'm walking away from

01:32:40.859 --> 01:32:43.279
it. I'm not working social media at the club

01:32:43.279 --> 01:32:45.899
anymore. I'm making steps out. So this is a YouTube

01:32:45.899 --> 01:32:49.010
video that I watch. Every time something, like,

01:32:49.029 --> 01:32:51.090
sort of big happens to me, or, like, I'm on a

01:32:51.090 --> 01:32:52.810
crossroads, and it's, have you ever seen this

01:32:52.810 --> 01:32:56.010
Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech? Have you seen

01:32:56.010 --> 01:32:59.090
this? No. Okay. Can we pull that up, Jamie? And

01:32:59.090 --> 01:33:01.409
it's, like, a three -minute video, but, like,

01:33:01.470 --> 01:33:04.189
genuinely, because I'm going to do it, too, I

01:33:04.189 --> 01:33:07.050
want you to do what he says. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

01:33:07.130 --> 01:33:09.310
It's just a quick little thing. Okay. Yeah, and

01:33:09.310 --> 01:33:12.289
I'm... All right. Yeah, yeah. Let's see it. Yeah.

01:33:28.140 --> 01:33:31.460
For giving generation upon generation of children

01:33:31.460 --> 01:33:35.399
confidence in themselves, for being their friend,

01:33:35.600 --> 01:33:41.239
for telling them again and again and again that

01:33:41.239 --> 01:33:44.579
they are special and that they have worth. It

01:33:44.579 --> 01:33:48.460
is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on

01:33:48.460 --> 01:33:51.539
behalf of the millions of children whose mornings

01:33:51.539 --> 01:33:55.260
you have brightened with your kindness to present

01:33:55.260 --> 01:34:10.720
you with this lifetime achievement award. Oh,

01:34:10.739 --> 01:34:12.760
it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood.

01:34:16.140 --> 01:34:19.220
So many people have helped me to come to this

01:34:19.220 --> 01:34:23.920
night. Some of you are here. Some are far away.

01:34:24.859 --> 01:34:29.840
Some are even in heaven. All of us have special

01:34:29.840 --> 01:34:33.979
ones who have loved us into being. Would you

01:34:33.979 --> 01:34:39.380
just take, along with me, ten seconds. to think

01:34:39.380 --> 01:34:42.920
of the people who have helped you become who

01:34:42.920 --> 01:34:48.659
you are. Those who have cared about you and wanted

01:34:48.659 --> 01:34:53.039
what was best for you in life. Ten seconds of

01:34:53.039 --> 01:35:11.300
silence. I'll watch the time. Whomever you've

01:35:11.300 --> 01:35:15.140
been thinking about, how pleased they must be

01:35:15.140 --> 01:35:18.119
to know the difference you feel they've made.

01:35:18.439 --> 01:35:21.560
You know, they're the kind of people television

01:35:21.560 --> 01:35:26.439
does well to offer our world. Special thanks

01:35:26.439 --> 01:35:31.000
to my family and friends and to my co -workers

01:35:31.000 --> 01:35:34.500
in public broadcasting, family communications,

01:35:34.819 --> 01:35:40.619
and this academy for encouraging me. allowing

01:35:40.619 --> 01:35:46.720
me all these years to be your neighbor. May God

01:35:46.720 --> 01:35:50.920
be with you. Thank you very much. He seemed like

01:35:50.920 --> 01:35:54.859
the real deal. Yeah. I'm glad nothing ever came

01:35:54.859 --> 01:35:56.619
out about him. Yeah, for real, right? He wasn't

01:35:56.619 --> 01:35:59.119
like a Jimmy Savile. I'm happy he was the real

01:35:59.119 --> 01:36:01.600
deal. He really does seem like he is. Who'd you

01:36:01.600 --> 01:36:04.699
think about? Oh, do I want to say it publicly?

01:36:04.979 --> 01:36:08.439
Yeah, if you don't have to. You know, family,

01:36:08.680 --> 01:36:13.020
personal people, you know. But, you know, you

01:36:13.020 --> 01:36:15.760
and I in particular are very fortunate. We have

01:36:15.760 --> 01:36:18.239
a lot of people that help us be who we are. Yes.

01:36:18.279 --> 01:36:20.880
You know, and that is, like, the one thing that

01:36:20.880 --> 01:36:24.460
I think we really highlight at the club is that

01:36:24.460 --> 01:36:27.939
we really are all happy. We really are all lucky.

01:36:28.319 --> 01:36:32.319
And we really enjoy our time together. Yeah.

01:36:32.340 --> 01:36:34.520
And we feed off of each other. I'm so happy,

01:36:34.659 --> 01:36:39.090
too. this i i would say the scene is like incredibly

01:36:39.090 --> 01:36:42.029
incredibly supportive of each other in a way

01:36:42.029 --> 01:36:43.970
that like it's nice i guess in this sort of new

01:36:43.970 --> 01:36:46.029
system that we live in too where like you can

01:36:46.029 --> 01:36:47.930
just make it on your own like you don't need

01:36:47.930 --> 01:36:50.710
like i'm not auditioning for a spot that like

01:36:50.710 --> 01:36:52.810
fuzzy's auditioning for because we're both brown

01:36:52.810 --> 01:36:55.750
right you know like in the old days yeah there's

01:36:55.750 --> 01:36:58.350
no there's no reason there's no reason for me

01:36:58.350 --> 01:37:00.529
to be like damn i hope he doesn't get this right

01:37:00.909 --> 01:37:02.829
You know, there's like it's a system of like,

01:37:02.909 --> 01:37:05.090
oh, we can all just create and then help each

01:37:05.090 --> 01:37:07.789
other. Yes. Like piggyback off each other. And

01:37:07.789 --> 01:37:10.510
like that's it's like such a refreshing experience

01:37:10.510 --> 01:37:13.010
to have. It really is. The rising tide lifts

01:37:13.010 --> 01:37:15.109
all boats. And that's how it should be. And it

01:37:15.109 --> 01:37:16.670
happens everywhere, too, because like, you know,

01:37:16.689 --> 01:37:18.270
obviously you're at the mothership and you see

01:37:18.270 --> 01:37:20.409
how hard the door guys there crush. But like,

01:37:20.409 --> 01:37:23.670
I'll go to Sunset and Sunset has some fucking.

01:37:24.680 --> 01:37:27.119
Killers as door guys now especially because like

01:37:27.119 --> 01:37:29.060
they came up in this experience where sunset

01:37:29.060 --> 01:37:31.699
you know famously the ceilings are high and like

01:37:31.699 --> 01:37:34.520
The the room can be cavernous can feel cavernous

01:37:34.520 --> 01:37:36.819
when it's like a tight Mm -hmm, and so they come

01:37:36.819 --> 01:37:39.100
up in a harsher like mothership. The rooms are

01:37:39.100 --> 01:37:42.619
set up for comedy. Mm -hmm sunset It never happened

01:37:42.619 --> 01:37:46.319
that way. The guy died before he could make it

01:37:46.319 --> 01:37:48.100
what he wanted to make it. And Redman came in

01:37:48.100 --> 01:37:50.140
and just sort of saved it so he can open at the

01:37:50.140 --> 01:37:52.199
very least. So it's like they come up in these

01:37:52.199 --> 01:37:55.319
harsh situations and like there's this one kid

01:37:55.319 --> 01:37:57.260
at Sunset. His name is, well, kid is very funny

01:37:57.260 --> 01:37:59.520
to say. He's the grown man. But Mumford Davis,

01:37:59.659 --> 01:38:06.079
he closes every single death squad, which is

01:38:06.079 --> 01:38:10.079
like 18 hours long. So he closes every single

01:38:10.079 --> 01:38:13.039
one, goes up in front of a tired beat audience,

01:38:13.300 --> 01:38:17.239
and now he's just an absolute monster. Running

01:38:17.239 --> 01:38:19.100
with ankle weights on. Yeah, I mean, he's running

01:38:19.100 --> 01:38:20.760
with the biggest ankle weights on. To go at the

01:38:20.760 --> 01:38:22.619
end of that in that room, they're tired, they've

01:38:22.619 --> 01:38:24.880
been there forever. But you think about it, that's

01:38:24.880 --> 01:38:29.079
how Kinison came up. That was the Kinison spot,

01:38:29.279 --> 01:38:33.359
was the last spot at the OR. Think about his

01:38:33.359 --> 01:38:35.960
style, that screaming, yelling in your face.

01:38:36.659 --> 01:38:39.920
designed to shock an audience back to life. That's

01:38:39.920 --> 01:38:43.100
Brody. That's Don Barris. That's Brian Holtzman.

01:38:43.359 --> 01:38:46.500
Those guys that developed that act, they could

01:38:46.500 --> 01:38:50.739
just jolt you out of your complacency. It's kind

01:38:50.739 --> 01:38:54.680
of by necessity. Right, how to just keep someone's

01:38:54.680 --> 01:38:58.840
attention. Yes. Bringing it back is just so impressive.

01:38:59.140 --> 01:39:01.460
That's what I miss about the comedy stories.

01:39:01.539 --> 01:39:04.060
I left before I got passed, so I never got those

01:39:04.060 --> 01:39:07.500
late -night ORs. spots, those one in the morning,

01:39:07.619 --> 01:39:11.260
six people just survived. I mean, some of my

01:39:11.260 --> 01:39:12.800
best sets, favorite sets I've seen people have

01:39:12.800 --> 01:39:15.680
are in those spots. Damn, you really made this

01:39:15.680 --> 01:39:19.699
work. Well, sometimes like reality shines through.

01:39:19.840 --> 01:39:22.420
Like they have a real moment on stage where the

01:39:22.420 --> 01:39:25.399
comedy is just like people like, oh shit. Like

01:39:25.399 --> 01:39:27.760
I remember Laura Bites had a set one time and

01:39:27.760 --> 01:39:29.960
I even posted it. Me and Burt Kreischer sat in

01:39:29.960 --> 01:39:32.319
the back of the room and she crushed so hard

01:39:32.319 --> 01:39:34.460
in front of, there was only like 25 people in

01:39:34.460 --> 01:39:36.520
the room. Right. And by the time she was offstage,

01:39:36.600 --> 01:39:38.079
there was 50 people in the room because people

01:39:38.079 --> 01:39:39.800
were coming in from other places to come and

01:39:39.800 --> 01:39:41.399
watch her set. Yeah, when you hear that noise,

01:39:41.500 --> 01:39:43.340
you're like, okay, what's going on here? She

01:39:43.340 --> 01:39:46.880
was just on fire. She was killing. Yeah, it's

01:39:46.880 --> 01:39:48.819
like those spots are nice because it's like,

01:39:48.939 --> 01:39:51.659
you know, your jokes, you have to work your jokes

01:39:51.659 --> 01:39:53.000
to get to a certain point where like my jokes

01:39:53.000 --> 01:39:54.439
are funny enough to showcase and work at the

01:39:54.439 --> 01:39:58.039
club. And now that I'm at this level, I got the

01:39:58.039 --> 01:40:00.859
jokes. Now, can I be funny? Right. You know,

01:40:00.880 --> 01:40:03.739
beyond like what my written, can I be just funny,

01:40:03.840 --> 01:40:06.479
me as a person? Yeah. You can kind of really

01:40:06.479 --> 01:40:09.789
hone that in those sort of late night. Tough

01:40:09.789 --> 01:40:13.010
rooms. Yeah, you got to do those. Yeah, and that's

01:40:13.010 --> 01:40:14.850
why the store, at the end of the day, even through

01:40:14.850 --> 01:40:17.369
hard and good times and tough times at the store,

01:40:17.390 --> 01:40:19.010
that's the reason why they always create monsters.

01:40:19.350 --> 01:40:21.930
The store creates monsters. And Mitzi knew what

01:40:21.930 --> 01:40:24.710
she was doing. She had a method to her madness,

01:40:24.930 --> 01:40:27.670
and she tweaked it and got it to the perfect

01:40:27.670 --> 01:40:30.210
form. We essentially use a similar form here.

01:40:30.470 --> 01:40:33.770
Yeah, it's kind of like the method to make comedy

01:40:33.770 --> 01:40:37.210
happen. It's like just... People in like these

01:40:37.210 --> 01:40:40.829
tough spots over and over again. Can you follow

01:40:40.829 --> 01:40:44.229
monsters? Right. Can you follow monsters? That's

01:40:44.229 --> 01:40:46.149
the best part about being at the ship is like

01:40:46.149 --> 01:40:49.390
I've had to follow like Theo and Shane and be

01:40:49.390 --> 01:40:53.029
like, damn, I just got to do this. Yeah. And

01:40:53.029 --> 01:40:57.729
then you have to follow like the emerging stars

01:40:57.729 --> 01:40:59.770
too because then they have a whole separate energy

01:40:59.770 --> 01:41:02.819
to them. Like I remember. Following both Cam

01:41:02.819 --> 01:41:04.899
and James McCann after they both started popping

01:41:04.899 --> 01:41:07.779
and being like, whoa. Just watching the energy

01:41:07.779 --> 01:41:11.180
around them shift. Yeah. We lost McCann to Australia.

01:41:11.600 --> 01:41:14.119
I know. He'll be back. He's got to be back. He'll

01:41:14.119 --> 01:41:17.300
be back. I can't believe he had to go back. So

01:41:17.300 --> 01:41:20.659
funny, though. He's the best. He's one of my

01:41:20.659 --> 01:41:22.640
favorite guys out there. Because he's got such

01:41:22.640 --> 01:41:25.880
a unique, like, it's his perspective. It's, like,

01:41:25.939 --> 01:41:27.920
you don't expect it. No. It's coming out of him.

01:41:27.979 --> 01:41:29.899
If you think the way he does, you get it. Yeah.

01:41:30.439 --> 01:41:33.159
It's really smart, really funny. High energy,

01:41:33.300 --> 01:41:36.359
too. Mm -hmm. Like, it's, because usually the

01:41:36.359 --> 01:41:42.119
hyper -intelligent go low energy. It's very rare

01:41:42.119 --> 01:41:44.619
that a hyper intelligent person like who's intelligent

01:41:44.619 --> 01:41:46.840
on stage on purpose like that like he is goes

01:41:46.840 --> 01:41:49.720
high energy, right? That's a that's what makes

01:41:49.720 --> 01:41:54.020
him unique to me, too When they're when usually

01:41:54.020 --> 01:41:56.960
when comics are being smart on stage, and I'll

01:41:56.960 --> 01:41:59.699
do this too they go soft They go look at me think

01:41:59.699 --> 01:42:03.140
Mm -hmm. Yeah McCann's like I have the energy

01:42:03.140 --> 01:42:06.239
of I'm in a bar yelling at you, but it's about

01:42:06.990 --> 01:42:14.449
Kyrgyzstan. Yeah. Yeah, we're lucky, dude. Yeah,

01:42:14.550 --> 01:42:18.850
the scene is thriving. Yeah. Yeah, there's so

01:42:18.850 --> 01:42:20.649
many places to go. That's why I did mine at Black

01:42:20.649 --> 01:42:23.989
Rabbit. Just a small little black box room that's

01:42:23.989 --> 01:42:26.250
been like, I've had sets there and it's like

01:42:26.250 --> 01:42:29.789
10 people and they're amazing. Wow. Yeah, they're

01:42:29.789 --> 01:42:31.909
just there for comedy. A lot of them are like,

01:42:31.949 --> 01:42:34.270
they tend to be like, These sort of just out

01:42:34.270 --> 01:42:36.930
of college kids who can't really afford to go

01:42:36.930 --> 01:42:39.529
to any of the clubs. They just have money for

01:42:39.529 --> 01:42:40.649
the first time. We're like, oh, we can go to

01:42:40.649 --> 01:42:43.630
this little spot. Like $10 tickets. Just get

01:42:43.630 --> 01:42:46.270
introduced to comedy. It's a bit of a younger

01:42:46.270 --> 01:42:49.729
audience there. How many spots are just on our

01:42:49.729 --> 01:42:52.970
street? On our street? I mean, like, there's...

01:42:52.970 --> 01:42:55.329
Within our street. Like, within close. That you

01:42:55.329 --> 01:42:56.829
can walk to? Count Cap City, because it's like

01:42:56.829 --> 01:43:01.369
one block over. Not Cap City, I'm sorry. Vulcan.

01:43:01.470 --> 01:43:03.829
No. And Sunset. Creek. Creek in the Cave. Creek.

01:43:03.829 --> 01:43:06.069
Creek in the Cave is one over. In that area,

01:43:06.109 --> 01:43:12.989
you have Vulcan, Sunset, Creek, Velveeta, and

01:43:12.989 --> 01:43:16.529
then Bulls. These are bars that run comedy at

01:43:16.529 --> 01:43:18.369
least three to four times a week. It's Bulls.

01:43:20.710 --> 01:43:25.980
Oh, fuck. I'm forgetting one of the places. I'm

01:43:25.980 --> 01:43:27.840
blanking on it now. But Bulls, Black Rabbit.

01:43:29.180 --> 01:43:31.000
If you want to count Roscoe's in East Austin,

01:43:31.100 --> 01:43:32.300
they're a little bit down the road, but they're

01:43:32.300 --> 01:43:34.720
still kind of in the downtown area. So it's nine

01:43:34.720 --> 01:43:36.560
right there. Narbar, that's the one I was thinking

01:43:36.560 --> 01:43:39.979
about. That's ten. Shakespeare's runs it a bunch,

01:43:39.979 --> 01:43:41.420
and Maggie Mae's runs it, I think, three times

01:43:41.420 --> 01:43:44.779
a week. So there's at least 12 pretty much dedicated

01:43:44.779 --> 01:43:46.539
comedy rooms, and that's not including Mike's.

01:43:47.100 --> 01:43:49.270
That's crazy. That's not including mics. Just

01:43:49.270 --> 01:43:51.170
in the area. When you say mics, for people who

01:43:51.170 --> 01:43:52.729
don't know, you mean open mics. Yeah, just open

01:43:52.729 --> 01:43:54.710
mics. You're talking about booked clubs of professional

01:43:54.710 --> 01:43:57.109
comedians. Yeah, these are shows with people.

01:43:57.229 --> 01:43:59.090
And some of them are rough bar shows, but they're

01:43:59.090 --> 01:44:02.789
shows and they're booked. Wow. Yeah, and you

01:44:02.789 --> 01:44:06.069
can get on. There's so many ways to come up.

01:44:06.130 --> 01:44:09.210
Oh, you can walk. You can walk. I've had nights

01:44:09.210 --> 01:44:12.010
where I've had five sets and none of them were

01:44:12.010 --> 01:44:14.630
at the mothership. Wow. You're just out and about.

01:44:15.529 --> 01:44:20.289
Yeah, it is so, and it's just different people

01:44:20.289 --> 01:44:23.170
getting up in different places. Each different

01:44:23.170 --> 01:44:25.409
place has their own ecosystem of comics. You

01:44:25.409 --> 01:44:28.750
know, because you go where it gives you time.

01:44:29.170 --> 01:44:32.810
That's the right way to go no matter what. Just

01:44:32.810 --> 01:44:35.050
whatever is feeding you, that's where you go.

01:44:35.350 --> 01:44:37.250
So there's different ecosystems in each place,

01:44:37.310 --> 01:44:40.869
and it's really fun, and you just get to see

01:44:40.869 --> 01:44:45.130
people like, man, just figure it out. And it's

01:44:45.130 --> 01:44:46.710
fun to watch, and they'll figure it out on the

01:44:46.710 --> 01:44:49.510
podcast end. They'll figure it out on the comedy

01:44:49.510 --> 01:44:52.010
end, and it all sort of works together. It's

01:44:52.010 --> 01:44:53.789
got to be extra dope for you too because you

01:44:53.789 --> 01:44:57.789
were an early settler. Man, I feel like I got

01:44:57.789 --> 01:45:02.130
to the gold rush in 48. I feel like – because

01:45:02.130 --> 01:45:05.010
when I got here, there was only three – it was

01:45:05.010 --> 01:45:08.310
me, Hans, Kim, and Derek, and Dylan. Dylan was

01:45:08.310 --> 01:45:09.869
eight years in. But those were the only four

01:45:09.869 --> 01:45:13.739
of us that were like not famous headliners. That

01:45:13.739 --> 01:45:17.119
weren't new comics, basically. Right. So we got

01:45:17.119 --> 01:45:21.520
to just do so many shows because there was no

01:45:21.520 --> 01:45:24.619
middle class. It was like California. It was

01:45:24.619 --> 01:45:29.460
all upper class and all lower class. Now it's

01:45:29.460 --> 01:45:31.979
robust. Now there's just a bunch of killers that

01:45:31.979 --> 01:45:34.520
are just moving here all the time. There's this

01:45:34.520 --> 01:45:36.939
guy, Nick Murphy, moved from Atlanta. What year

01:45:36.939 --> 01:45:41.500
did you move here? 2021. I moved here early.

01:45:41.619 --> 01:45:45.140
I got on a Zoom. I got with Dylan Sullivan. I

01:45:45.140 --> 01:45:48.180
used to play this. I used to play. We used to

01:45:48.180 --> 01:45:50.039
play Game Nights in the pandemic online with

01:45:50.039 --> 01:45:51.560
our friends because we weren't allowed out. Right.

01:45:51.739 --> 01:45:53.859
And so he pulled me aside one day on Discord

01:45:53.859 --> 01:45:55.359
and was like, you got to move here. And he made

01:45:55.359 --> 01:45:58.260
the pitch. And then I was like, I was pretty

01:45:58.260 --> 01:46:00.060
much there. And then Derek moved here and he

01:46:00.060 --> 01:46:01.880
was like, you got to. And this was just when

01:46:01.880 --> 01:46:03.180
we're doing shows out of the Vulcan. This is

01:46:03.180 --> 01:46:05.359
just shows of the Vulcan. This was just – but

01:46:05.359 --> 01:46:08.220
it was indoor shows, man. And so I moved here

01:46:08.220 --> 01:46:09.760
and then I was like – because the way I looked

01:46:09.760 --> 01:46:14.000
at it was like, look, either I'm going to – like

01:46:14.000 --> 01:46:15.640
LA is going to reopen and I'll be working at

01:46:15.640 --> 01:46:17.420
the comedy store again and we'll have at least

01:46:17.420 --> 01:46:21.000
gotten up in that time and gotten paid to go

01:46:21.000 --> 01:46:23.760
up because they pay for every spot here if you're

01:46:23.760 --> 01:46:26.420
booked. So it's like at least got paid. And so

01:46:26.420 --> 01:46:28.579
I was like – and then I'll go back to LA. A little

01:46:28.579 --> 01:46:33.479
glitch. But – So when you came here, it was just

01:46:33.479 --> 01:46:35.680
like, look, I'll get some spots, I'll get paid,

01:46:35.779 --> 01:46:37.659
and if the comic store reopens, I'll go back.

01:46:37.800 --> 01:46:40.720
Yeah, I'll go back. The club was still two years

01:46:40.720 --> 01:46:42.979
away from opening, but it's like, I'll stick

01:46:42.979 --> 01:46:44.539
it out to the club and see what happens. We were

01:46:44.539 --> 01:46:46.840
just starting to talk about a club back then.

01:46:47.020 --> 01:46:48.979
Right. Yeah, you would put it on the universe,

01:46:49.039 --> 01:46:50.840
and that was enough for me to be like, I think

01:46:50.840 --> 01:46:52.979
he's going to get that done. And so I took a

01:46:52.979 --> 01:46:55.399
chance, and it ended up working, and then I ended

01:46:55.399 --> 01:46:57.420
up being one of the first people passed through

01:46:57.420 --> 01:47:00.699
there, which ended up being huge. Huge blessing

01:47:00.699 --> 01:47:03.720
because now there's so many killers that it's

01:47:03.720 --> 01:47:06.239
like hard to get into the mothership Yeah, there's

01:47:06.239 --> 01:47:08.920
so many like people who've moved It's like it's

01:47:08.920 --> 01:47:11.260
I almost tell people like it's a major city in

01:47:11.260 --> 01:47:13.399
that way in the sense of like if you can Get

01:47:13.399 --> 01:47:16.479
good where you are first and then move to Austin

01:47:17.680 --> 01:47:20.220
That might be better now than a blind move to

01:47:20.220 --> 01:47:22.779
Austin. Right, as an opener. Yeah. As a beginner.

01:47:23.039 --> 01:47:25.060
As a beginner. Yeah, it's hard as a beginner.

01:47:25.260 --> 01:47:27.640
Yeah. It's like L .A. was for a while. Oh, L

01:47:27.640 --> 01:47:29.680
.A. is super tough. I imagine New York is super

01:47:29.680 --> 01:47:32.340
tough as well. The store was really tough. If

01:47:32.340 --> 01:47:34.279
you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots,

01:47:34.479 --> 01:47:36.560
like, bro, you got to do spots somewhere else.

01:47:36.680 --> 01:47:38.399
Right. You really should be better. You're better

01:47:38.399 --> 01:47:40.840
off coming there with potential. Like, you've

01:47:40.840 --> 01:47:43.069
already gotten a few years under your belt. Than,

01:47:43.069 --> 01:47:44.590
like, trying to figure it out. Because the L

01:47:44.590 --> 01:47:46.390
.A. mics are especially brutal. The thing is,

01:47:46.430 --> 01:47:48.289
man, if you guys didn't come, it wouldn't have

01:47:48.289 --> 01:47:50.609
worked. Like, that was the thing. It's like,

01:47:50.689 --> 01:47:52.989
the people that really are responsible for the

01:47:52.989 --> 01:47:56.949
movement, the crazy new scene here, are the ones

01:47:56.949 --> 01:47:59.930
who came before the club was open. Brian Simpson,

01:48:00.449 --> 01:48:04.369
Tom Segura. Segura was here early, man. I told

01:48:04.369 --> 01:48:05.930
him about it. He's like, I'm fucking moving.

01:48:06.130 --> 01:48:08.630
And then, bam, I was like, whoa. And when Tom

01:48:08.630 --> 01:48:10.930
moved, I was like, that's a big deal. You know,

01:48:10.970 --> 01:48:14.380
because Tom was... already doing arenas. It required

01:48:14.380 --> 01:48:17.399
a certain amount of people to buy in. Because

01:48:17.399 --> 01:48:22.220
of that, I'm very pro -Austin. Man, if you buy

01:48:22.220 --> 01:48:26.279
in, look what can happen. No one should not be

01:48:26.279 --> 01:48:28.979
pro -Austin. It's funny because Lewis and Tony

01:48:28.979 --> 01:48:32.119
were going back and forth and arguing. Lewis

01:48:32.119 --> 01:48:35.539
shits on the Austin scene. This New York versus

01:48:35.539 --> 01:48:37.239
Austin thing is the stupidest fucking thing of

01:48:37.239 --> 01:48:39.920
all time. They should both be awesome. Who cares?

01:48:40.060 --> 01:48:42.710
Yeah, it's unnecessary. Unnecessary infighting.

01:48:42.710 --> 01:48:45.250
It's like catty girl fighting. We both clearly

01:48:45.250 --> 01:48:48.449
can exist in a space where we can also help each

01:48:48.449 --> 01:48:50.890
other. The New York guys are always here, and

01:48:50.890 --> 01:48:52.649
I feel like we're always there. But the point

01:48:52.649 --> 01:48:55.949
is, Tony and Lewis were going back and forth,

01:48:55.989 --> 01:49:00.670
and Lewis said, well, L .A. isn't even into consideration

01:49:00.670 --> 01:49:03.430
anymore as what's the best place for comedy in

01:49:03.430 --> 01:49:07.529
the country. And Tony goes, agreed. And why do

01:49:07.529 --> 01:49:09.930
you think that is? What do you think happened?

01:49:10.670 --> 01:49:14.350
Where'd those people go? And Lewis is like, oh,

01:49:14.350 --> 01:49:18.930
shit. But, you know, I will say this because

01:49:18.930 --> 01:49:21.409
I was just in L .A. I like where the L .A. scene's

01:49:21.409 --> 01:49:23.510
at. It's rebuilding stronger. Of course it is.

01:49:23.590 --> 01:49:25.649
Yeah, yeah. It's the store. It's LA. It's Hollywood.

01:49:25.789 --> 01:49:28.449
It goes through dips. It's done it before. When

01:49:28.449 --> 01:49:30.489
I got there, it was at a low. When I came in

01:49:30.489 --> 01:49:33.529
94, the OR was half empty. Main room was never

01:49:33.529 --> 01:49:36.069
full. Oh, and then there was no big talent there.

01:49:36.189 --> 01:49:38.609
It's always like that. It comes, it goes. New

01:49:38.609 --> 01:49:41.409
people come up. It's legendary. It's got a vibe

01:49:41.409 --> 01:49:45.069
to it. It creates comedy just by existing. Yeah,

01:49:45.109 --> 01:49:46.569
it's like, it's still, every time I'm there,

01:49:46.590 --> 01:49:48.390
I'm like, man, this is the fucking place. It's

01:49:48.390 --> 01:49:49.970
the fucking place, man. That's been the place

01:49:49.970 --> 01:49:53.989
since 1970 -something. That place is crazy. Yeah.

01:49:54.109 --> 01:49:56.729
The building is alive in that place. That's crazy.

01:49:57.029 --> 01:49:59.770
Yeah, you feel it. It's soaked with the memories

01:49:59.770 --> 01:50:03.989
of Kennison and Hicks and Pryor. Here's what's

01:50:03.989 --> 01:50:05.449
crazy. You know the bucket seats in the back?

01:50:05.630 --> 01:50:08.789
Yeah. If you go during the day, they might have

01:50:08.789 --> 01:50:10.069
repainted the wall. So this is when I worked

01:50:10.069 --> 01:50:11.750
there. But when you go during the day, because

01:50:11.750 --> 01:50:13.029
I'd get there early and like right or whatever,

01:50:13.189 --> 01:50:16.109
and you can look where the bucket seats are.

01:50:16.729 --> 01:50:19.829
The outline of all the heads, because of all

01:50:19.829 --> 01:50:22.029
the oil of the people leaning back, was just

01:50:22.029 --> 01:50:24.069
there. So you were just there, and it's just

01:50:24.069 --> 01:50:26.649
the energy of all these great comics just in

01:50:26.649 --> 01:50:31.449
the room with you. Yeah. It was an interesting

01:50:31.449 --> 01:50:33.449
place to be during the day, because you could

01:50:33.449 --> 01:50:34.569
sort of feel it. The store is a very special

01:50:34.569 --> 01:50:37.010
place. Very special place. You never get to take

01:50:37.010 --> 01:50:38.710
away from that. But the thing is, it's like...

01:50:38.970 --> 01:50:41.689
It should be, and it will be even better than

01:50:41.689 --> 01:50:43.970
it used to be, I'm sure. But the point is, it's

01:50:43.970 --> 01:50:46.529
like denying that Austin is an amazing scene

01:50:46.529 --> 01:50:49.850
is just stupid. Yes. It's just stupid. And also,

01:50:49.930 --> 01:50:53.609
don't you want another great scene? Do you want

01:50:53.609 --> 01:50:56.090
a limited amount of options for comedians? Don't

01:50:56.090 --> 01:50:59.039
you want more comics and more comedy? Right,

01:50:59.100 --> 01:51:00.899
and more places for you to end up performing.

01:51:01.060 --> 01:51:03.899
Shut up. Now you can go to Austin and spend a

01:51:03.899 --> 01:51:05.460
couple weeks there and get a lot of time and

01:51:05.460 --> 01:51:08.800
learn how to talk to people here. There's so

01:51:08.800 --> 01:51:11.539
many bitches in this world. So many bitches.

01:51:11.640 --> 01:51:13.479
And those bitches never get anything done. They

01:51:13.479 --> 01:51:19.979
just sit and bitch. Nothing ever gets done. Yeah,

01:51:19.979 --> 01:51:23.979
yeah. They never progress. Yeah, man, just video

01:51:23.979 --> 01:51:27.000
essays. I watch all the video essays. That's

01:51:27.000 --> 01:51:28.739
so funny. Why would you watch those? It's just

01:51:28.739 --> 01:51:32.119
so funny to me because they all start, the whole

01:51:32.119 --> 01:51:34.739
concept that Austin has ruined comedy is very

01:51:34.739 --> 01:51:37.699
funny to me because there's so many comics that

01:51:37.699 --> 01:51:40.100
are blowing up outside everywhere all the time.

01:51:40.260 --> 01:51:42.859
It's just silly. It's like my friend said, it's

01:51:42.859 --> 01:51:45.140
a walled garden. That's what it is. It seems

01:51:45.140 --> 01:51:47.140
like the people are having too much fun. And

01:51:47.140 --> 01:51:48.560
if you're not there and if you don't have aspirations

01:51:48.560 --> 01:51:51.460
to be there, you feel bad about it. When I lived

01:51:51.460 --> 01:51:54.300
in Boston, the store was like Mecca. People would

01:51:54.300 --> 01:51:56.039
talk about it. It was like you had to make the

01:51:56.039 --> 01:51:57.380
pilgrimage to the comedy store. It was one of

01:51:57.380 --> 01:51:59.760
the first things I did when I came to L .A. Oh,

01:51:59.779 --> 01:52:01.100
no, it's a big deal. The first time you go there,

01:52:01.159 --> 01:52:03.260
I remember looking at it and being just the feeling

01:52:03.260 --> 01:52:06.119
in my heart. The first time I went there, I hadn't

01:52:06.119 --> 01:52:08.359
even moved there yet. I went there just to watch.

01:52:08.539 --> 01:52:10.220
I told them I was a comedian from New York. I'm

01:52:10.220 --> 01:52:12.250
like, can I go and watch a set? I'm like, yeah,

01:52:12.270 --> 01:52:14.449
sure. And they let me come in, and I sat in the

01:52:14.449 --> 01:52:17.350
back and watched, and it was like, Bodax. It

01:52:17.350 --> 01:52:19.470
was terrible. It was really bad. It was like

01:52:19.470 --> 01:52:21.189
a bunch of cruise ship acts, like a bunch of

01:52:21.189 --> 01:52:23.529
guys who had the same act from the 1970s. You

01:52:23.529 --> 01:52:25.729
know those dudes that, like, you'll see them

01:52:25.729 --> 01:52:27.409
at the store occasionally now that have an act

01:52:27.409 --> 01:52:29.430
from the 80s? Well, these dudes, it was like

01:52:29.430 --> 01:52:31.550
a decade earlier. Yeah, when I worked at La Jolla,

01:52:31.550 --> 01:52:33.430
there was one guy that they booked that they

01:52:33.430 --> 01:52:35.930
had, like, some deal with Mitzi that he got to

01:52:35.930 --> 01:52:38.369
perform once a year at the La Jolla. And, man,

01:52:38.449 --> 01:52:41.050
you could just tell, man, it's been... You haven't

01:52:41.050 --> 01:52:43.390
changed this act since the 70s. Yeah, they just

01:52:43.390 --> 01:52:47.949
never evolved. And they weren't getting spots

01:52:47.949 --> 01:52:49.710
when Kinison was around. The place was packed.

01:52:50.130 --> 01:52:53.270
And then Kinison left. And then he had a billboard.

01:52:53.289 --> 01:52:55.529
He put a billboard right in front of the comedy

01:52:55.529 --> 01:52:59.069
store of his new album that was coming out. Why

01:52:59.069 --> 01:53:01.100
did he leave the store? Oh, I don't know. He

01:53:01.100 --> 01:53:02.760
probably did something stupid. Okay. I think

01:53:02.760 --> 01:53:05.739
he definitely fired off a gun because I remember

01:53:05.739 --> 01:53:07.439
he shot the... The bullet hole is still there.

01:53:07.500 --> 01:53:10.680
Yeah. I heard they fixed the sign though. No,

01:53:10.699 --> 01:53:13.100
it's back. They fixed the plastic. Yeah, they

01:53:13.100 --> 01:53:15.439
might have. I think the plastic was falling apart,

01:53:15.520 --> 01:53:16.739
but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet

01:53:16.739 --> 01:53:18.779
hole is still there. Okay. Yeah, I went and looked.

01:53:18.840 --> 01:53:20.800
I made sure. Pretty crazy. The kid is in bullet

01:53:20.800 --> 01:53:23.659
holes like part of the thing there. Yeah. But

01:53:23.659 --> 01:53:26.180
the... Crack glass was also part of the thing.

01:53:26.319 --> 01:53:27.899
Yeah, but I think eventually it just fell apart.

01:53:28.000 --> 01:53:30.239
It's been like 40 years since that happened.

01:53:31.039 --> 01:53:33.779
I mean, that might have got him banned. Not sure.

01:53:34.359 --> 01:53:37.119
But then he was banned. And then when I came,

01:53:37.279 --> 01:53:39.500
it was 94, so he was already dead. He was dead

01:53:39.500 --> 01:53:43.020
and Hicks was dead. So it was weird. Okay, and

01:53:43.020 --> 01:53:45.479
so that's what the lull was from? They were just

01:53:45.479 --> 01:53:47.399
kind of missing that top -level guy? Yeah, there

01:53:47.399 --> 01:53:49.260
was a lull. And guys would occasionally drop

01:53:49.260 --> 01:53:51.529
in to work out. But they didn't put their name

01:53:51.529 --> 01:53:52.930
on the marquee. No one ever knew they were going

01:53:52.930 --> 01:53:54.630
to be there. Like Chris Rock would come in and

01:53:54.630 --> 01:53:57.409
work out. Damon would come in and work out. But

01:53:57.409 --> 01:53:59.029
the big comics that were there, like Don Marrero

01:53:59.029 --> 01:54:00.850
would stop in. There was guys that would stop

01:54:00.850 --> 01:54:04.130
in. But then it was mostly us younger guys. Holtzman.

01:54:04.600 --> 01:54:07.100
Was a big part back then. I can't imagine Holtzman

01:54:07.100 --> 01:54:09.600
as a young guy. I mean, me and him, we're only

01:54:09.600 --> 01:54:12.220
a few years different. It feels like he's just

01:54:12.220 --> 01:54:13.899
looked like that since he was a kid. He did look

01:54:13.899 --> 01:54:15.520
like that. He was a throwback. He looked like

01:54:15.520 --> 01:54:18.640
he was from the 1950s when I met him in 94. Yeah.

01:54:18.800 --> 01:54:22.180
Like, slick back, dark hair. Right. Always the

01:54:22.180 --> 01:54:24.479
best. Always a nice guy. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's

01:54:24.479 --> 01:54:26.279
the sweetest guy in the world. There's something

01:54:26.279 --> 01:54:29.159
about guys who are like that on stage are always

01:54:29.159 --> 01:54:31.699
super sweet off stage. Because they, like, truly

01:54:31.699 --> 01:54:34.619
get all the venom out. It's like William Montgomery.

01:54:34.619 --> 01:54:36.140
If you watch William Montgomery on stage, he's

01:54:36.140 --> 01:54:39.500
a raving lunatic. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that picture.

01:54:39.659 --> 01:54:41.539
Oh, wow. Look at Holtzman to the right with a

01:54:41.539 --> 01:54:44.899
suit on. Oh, my God. And a poly. Who's next to

01:54:44.899 --> 01:54:46.380
you? Look at that. Freddy Soto. That's Freddy

01:54:46.380 --> 01:54:53.340
Soto. Damn. Boy, that was probably like 96. Wow.

01:54:53.819 --> 01:54:57.390
Crazy. Yeah, Brian does look the exact same.

01:54:57.590 --> 01:55:00.189
He looks the exact same. He had jet black hair,

01:55:00.369 --> 01:55:04.489
and he would... You know what he kind of looks

01:55:04.489 --> 01:55:06.689
like? That's his head shot. There's this guy

01:55:06.689 --> 01:55:09.770
on Instagram where his whole thing is just he

01:55:09.770 --> 01:55:12.659
pretends to be a greaser. Oh, really? Yeah, but,

01:55:12.739 --> 01:55:15.600
like, unironically. And that's kind of what he

01:55:15.600 --> 01:55:18.319
looks like. But it's really funny because all

01:55:18.319 --> 01:55:20.460
his comments are just like, yo, show us that

01:55:20.460 --> 01:55:24.439
hog. Like, that's become the—he does, like, greaser

01:55:24.439 --> 01:55:26.000
shit. And then all the comments are like, but

01:55:26.000 --> 01:55:29.720
how come—where's the hog reveal? Why his hog?

01:55:29.880 --> 01:55:31.960
Yeah, it's become, like— That's funny. He's so

01:55:31.960 --> 01:55:33.939
unironically trying to be a greaser that the

01:55:33.939 --> 01:55:37.180
comments came up with their own sort of culture

01:55:37.180 --> 01:55:40.279
around him. So it's comedy accidentally. Yeah,

01:55:40.319 --> 01:55:41.579
they're kind of mocking. They're all kind of

01:55:41.579 --> 01:55:43.539
making fun of him. But he's genuinely trying

01:55:43.539 --> 01:55:46.960
to portray this guy, this greaser guy. He's like

01:55:46.960 --> 01:55:48.699
Mike the Greaser or something like that. It's

01:55:48.699 --> 01:55:51.260
so funny. Well, Holtzman was just, I thought

01:55:51.260 --> 01:55:53.520
he was going to blow up, man. I really did. I

01:55:53.520 --> 01:55:54.739
was like, oh, this guy's going to be fucking

01:55:54.739 --> 01:55:58.399
huge. This guy's going to be gigantic. There

01:55:58.399 --> 01:56:00.199
was a few guys back then that I was like, that

01:56:00.199 --> 01:56:02.939
guy's going to be big. Did you ever see Mike

01:56:02.939 --> 01:56:06.920
Ricca? No. The early 90s, Mike Ricca was great,

01:56:07.079 --> 01:56:09.460
man. I don't know what happened. I don't know

01:56:09.460 --> 01:56:11.560
what happened with him. I don't even know if

01:56:11.560 --> 01:56:14.460
he does comedy anymore. Yeah, it's so easy. People

01:56:14.460 --> 01:56:17.319
fall off all the time. Because it is brutal.

01:56:17.579 --> 01:56:20.359
The game is brutal. It can be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:56:20.359 --> 01:56:22.119
Yeah, but you have to have something brutal outside

01:56:22.119 --> 01:56:25.100
of the game to keep you centered. You should

01:56:25.100 --> 01:56:27.460
do something else that's also difficult. For

01:56:27.460 --> 01:56:29.239
me, it's obviously working out. That's a big

01:56:29.239 --> 01:56:31.600
part of what keeps me sane. I think it's important

01:56:31.600 --> 01:56:33.899
for mental health. The people that are the most

01:56:33.899 --> 01:56:39.300
mentally unhealthy and unstable that I know control

01:56:39.300 --> 01:56:41.800
of their body none of them exercise they don't

01:56:41.800 --> 01:56:44.680
eat well they eat terrible food they take medications

01:56:44.680 --> 01:56:47.439
and they're all fucked up in the head and then

01:56:47.439 --> 01:56:50.119
little things can send them off a deep end once

01:56:50.119 --> 01:56:52.220
a person makes a mean tweet about them and a

01:56:52.220 --> 01:56:54.079
couple people pile on they want to jump off a

01:56:54.079 --> 01:56:56.159
building right you know there's a bunch of those

01:56:56.159 --> 01:56:58.579
people out there and i think like with the pressures

01:56:58.579 --> 01:57:02.720
of this job you have to for your own sanity you

01:57:02.720 --> 01:57:04.979
have to find some sort of an outlet Find some

01:57:04.979 --> 01:57:07.739
sort of a thing. Or, like, take a walk. That

01:57:07.739 --> 01:57:10.500
too. Yeah, yeah. That'll help, but it should

01:57:10.500 --> 01:57:12.819
be something that's a little bit that you exert

01:57:12.819 --> 01:57:15.439
yourself. Well, I was like, that's a good place

01:57:15.439 --> 01:57:17.260
to start if you're one of these people that,

01:57:17.300 --> 01:57:19.880
like, don't do, like, just a simple walk can

01:57:19.880 --> 01:57:21.960
really get the ball rolling. Don't jump right

01:57:21.960 --> 01:57:25.060
into CrossFit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing, couch

01:57:25.060 --> 01:57:27.199
to CrossFit. Yeah, just be outside and, like,

01:57:27.199 --> 01:57:29.800
smell the air and be, or so, because, like, does

01:57:29.800 --> 01:57:31.380
your phone send you the screen time updates?

01:57:32.020 --> 01:57:34.430
What do you mean? Like, so my phone will send

01:57:34.430 --> 01:57:36.029
me, like, a weekly, like, this is how much you

01:57:36.029 --> 01:57:37.510
spend on your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

01:57:37.590 --> 01:57:39.489
For me, it's like, damn, this is like a full

01:57:39.489 --> 01:57:41.689
-time job that I'm spending on my phone. It's

01:57:41.689 --> 01:57:44.029
a lot. It's disgusting. And I have to just remind

01:57:44.029 --> 01:57:45.989
myself, like, oh, the reason I feel bad is because

01:57:45.989 --> 01:57:49.750
I'm on this. 100%. I'm on this, and I'm consuming

01:57:49.750 --> 01:57:53.130
a fake reality that, like, I think one of the

01:57:53.130 --> 01:57:56.449
most dangerous things that the phone, like, the...

01:57:56.680 --> 01:57:59.119
online existence does is it calls like people

01:57:59.119 --> 01:58:01.399
like call their fans and stuff a community and

01:58:01.399 --> 01:58:03.899
it's not really a community your community or

01:58:03.899 --> 01:58:06.060
it has to be people you see in person it can't

01:58:06.060 --> 01:58:12.180
be this online possibly fake fan club basically

01:58:12.180 --> 01:58:14.840
well it can't certainly can't be a large percentage

01:58:14.840 --> 01:58:16.800
of your interactions with people that's nuts

01:58:16.800 --> 01:58:19.680
but i mean there is some sort of a community

01:58:19.680 --> 01:58:22.220
that you kind of cultivate by interacting with

01:58:22.220 --> 01:58:24.500
people on social media it's just at what price

01:58:25.079 --> 01:58:27.800
Right. And then how much are you doom scrolling

01:58:27.800 --> 01:58:30.300
other than interacting with people and having

01:58:30.300 --> 01:58:33.500
like semi -positive experiences communicating,

01:58:33.560 --> 01:58:36.300
like sharing ideas? How much of it is just doom

01:58:36.300 --> 01:58:39.119
scrolling? Right. For me, it was a lot. And so

01:58:39.119 --> 01:58:42.560
I backed off it heavy. So I still spend a lot

01:58:42.560 --> 01:58:44.960
of time on YouTube, though. My distraction time

01:58:44.960 --> 01:58:48.479
is almost all YouTube. No, I'm a doom scroller.

01:58:48.520 --> 01:58:50.840
Yeah, because you get caught. You see one thing

01:58:50.840 --> 01:58:52.880
and you're like, it's so easy to just do that.

01:58:53.359 --> 01:58:55.840
It is, but I don't want that because it makes

01:58:55.840 --> 01:58:58.279
me feel weird. But YouTube doesn't make me feel

01:58:58.279 --> 01:59:01.359
weird. So if I watch some really cool video on

01:59:01.359 --> 01:59:04.760
ancient history or something, I never feel bad

01:59:04.760 --> 01:59:06.760
at all. I'm like, oh, that was cool. I don't

01:59:06.760 --> 01:59:09.720
come out of it with any negative feeling. I just

01:59:09.720 --> 01:59:11.239
come out of it like, oh, that's interesting.

01:59:11.539 --> 01:59:13.920
I learned something. YouTube is like the modern

01:59:13.920 --> 01:59:15.960
television now. Oh, it's fucking phenomenal.

01:59:16.460 --> 01:59:19.659
That's the one. Phenomenal. There's people making

01:59:19.659 --> 01:59:22.060
high -quality things. Sometimes I'll get caught

01:59:22.060 --> 01:59:25.819
up in things that I don't, even care about. I'm

01:59:25.819 --> 01:59:28.100
not a huge horror movie fan. I like movies, but

01:59:28.100 --> 01:59:30.640
I found this one page called Nightmare Movies,

01:59:30.640 --> 01:59:32.699
and he just explains his favorite horror movies,

01:59:32.800 --> 01:59:35.060
and he has a great voice, and I've watched all

01:59:35.060 --> 01:59:37.300
of his videos. Zero interest in watching any

01:59:37.300 --> 01:59:38.819
of the movies. I'm interested in watching him

01:59:38.819 --> 01:59:42.000
react to the movies. Really? Yeah. What's really

01:59:42.000 --> 01:59:45.579
dope on YouTube also is these little short horror

01:59:45.579 --> 01:59:48.619
movies that people make on their own. Like real

01:59:48.619 --> 01:59:50.800
super low budget, but like really interesting

01:59:50.800 --> 01:59:53.260
ideas. There's a ton of them, man. Right. Some

01:59:53.260 --> 01:59:55.140
of them are fucking great. They're really cool.

01:59:55.199 --> 01:59:56.439
They're like eight minutes long. They're two

01:59:56.439 --> 01:59:58.399
minutes long and they can just get you. Yeah.

01:59:58.859 --> 02:00:01.479
There's so much entertainment. I like watching

02:00:01.479 --> 02:00:04.840
people make furniture for some reason. I really

02:00:04.840 --> 02:00:07.659
do. I love watching people make like live edge

02:00:07.659 --> 02:00:10.880
tables and shit. I don't know. Yeah, it's just

02:00:10.880 --> 02:00:13.039
like, oh, this tickles me. I like watching people

02:00:13.039 --> 02:00:19.100
cook. I watch a lot of cooking. Everyone's entertainment

02:00:19.100 --> 02:00:21.500
is so in their own lane that you can come across

02:00:21.500 --> 02:00:23.199
a video and be like, 8 million views and you've

02:00:23.199 --> 02:00:27.300
never even seen it. True virality is tough. In

02:00:27.300 --> 02:00:29.619
the future, are there going to be even A -list

02:00:29.619 --> 02:00:33.479
celebrities like that? What do you mean? Or it's

02:00:33.479 --> 02:00:35.470
going to be... There's going to be less and less

02:00:35.470 --> 02:00:37.930
like what you describe as an A -list celebrity,

02:00:38.149 --> 02:00:39.229
right? Sure, right. Because everyone has their

02:00:39.229 --> 02:00:41.609
own sort of lane. Well, there's more celebrities

02:00:41.609 --> 02:00:43.670
now than there ever have been before, for sure.

02:00:43.829 --> 02:00:45.750
There's more, let's just say, famous people.

02:00:45.930 --> 02:00:48.439
Right. There's more people that are known. Than

02:00:48.439 --> 02:00:50.539
ever before because of social media. Think about

02:00:50.539 --> 02:00:53.340
all the streamers and YouTubers and podcasters.

02:00:53.340 --> 02:00:55.359
Oh yeah, Austin has a huge streaming scene. Yeah,

02:00:55.380 --> 02:00:58.520
it's insane. So there's that. So that muddies

02:00:58.520 --> 02:01:00.979
the water. Because you go back to like, let's

02:01:00.979 --> 02:01:04.260
go back to like 1960 when Paul Newman was a superstar

02:01:04.260 --> 02:01:06.439
making movies. How many fucking Paul Newmans

02:01:06.439 --> 02:01:09.460
were there? Right, yeah. Was it 10? Yeah. On

02:01:09.460 --> 02:01:11.300
Earth? Right. If you wanted to make a big movie,

02:01:11.380 --> 02:01:13.880
you got Marlon Brando, Paul Newman. You have

02:01:13.880 --> 02:01:17.260
a few people. Like a star on Sidney Sweeney's

02:01:17.260 --> 02:01:20.579
level now. Right. Back then, that would be a

02:01:20.579 --> 02:01:23.720
name to sell movies. Now, there's movies that

02:01:23.720 --> 02:01:25.859
she's in that people don't watch. Right. And

02:01:25.859 --> 02:01:29.239
that's what an A -list celebrity is now. There's

02:01:29.239 --> 02:01:31.220
so much stuff you're competing with. There's

02:01:31.220 --> 02:01:34.779
so much content, just period. I'm always watching

02:01:34.779 --> 02:01:37.960
a new show. There's always a new show. And they're

02:01:37.960 --> 02:01:41.260
fucking great. There's so many great shows. Or

02:01:41.260 --> 02:01:43.739
not even just random Instagram accounts. Dude,

02:01:43.800 --> 02:01:47.060
I watch this guy's Sandwiches of History. All

02:01:47.060 --> 02:01:49.380
he does is he finds a sandwich book from like

02:01:49.380 --> 02:01:51.699
some of them from like the early 1900s and just

02:01:51.699 --> 02:01:53.659
makes a sandwich in them. Is any of them good?

02:01:53.800 --> 02:01:55.659
Some of them are amazing and some of them suck

02:01:55.659 --> 02:01:57.500
ass. Some of them are like, some of them are

02:01:57.500 --> 02:01:59.380
like depression era. You know what I mean? It's

02:01:59.380 --> 02:02:01.140
like bread and sawdust or whatever, you know,

02:02:01.140 --> 02:02:04.119
like, but some of them are, some of them are

02:02:04.119 --> 02:02:05.579
like, damn, that's like a good sandwich. And

02:02:05.579 --> 02:02:07.460
I just watch this guy eat sandwiches and be like,

02:02:07.520 --> 02:02:10.789
this is. This is a great use of my time. Making

02:02:10.789 --> 02:02:14.130
an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here. 1921.

02:02:14.250 --> 02:02:16.449
So you take orange peels, you mix it up with

02:02:16.449 --> 02:02:20.050
mayonnaise, and you spread it on bread. Let's

02:02:20.050 --> 02:02:24.630
see his face. He always goes, I'll give this

02:02:24.630 --> 02:02:27.449
sandwich a go. He has like a catchphrase. I'm

02:02:27.449 --> 02:02:31.310
all about it. Hmm. Okay. It doesn't look like

02:02:31.310 --> 02:02:34.329
he likes it. It's a terrible idea. That's a terrible

02:02:34.329 --> 02:02:36.609
idea. Orange peel sandwich the fuck out of here.

02:02:36.750 --> 02:02:38.369
Well, that's what people ate. Yeah, you're starving.

02:02:38.590 --> 02:02:39.989
You're starving, you're eating an orange peel

02:02:39.989 --> 02:02:42.250
sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sandwich was

02:02:42.250 --> 02:02:44.069
made by a guy who was in a hurry, right? Wasn't

02:02:44.069 --> 02:02:46.090
that the idea? Just threw some fucking meat in

02:02:46.090 --> 02:02:48.109
some bread to eat it all together? Yeah, I think

02:02:48.109 --> 02:02:50.430
so. And then the people were like, wow. Wasn't

02:02:50.430 --> 02:02:51.569
his name sandwich or something? He was like the

02:02:51.569 --> 02:02:53.310
Earl of Sandwich. I think it was a sandwich with

02:02:53.310 --> 02:02:56.689
a place. Something like that? Yeah. As I'm saying

02:02:56.689 --> 02:02:58.909
that. Is that real, though? Is that just like

02:02:58.909 --> 02:03:01.850
goofy? We definitely searched this before. Isn't

02:03:01.850 --> 02:03:04.149
there an Earl of Sandwich? No, there 100 % is,

02:03:04.229 --> 02:03:06.010
but it's also like a store, and I'm just like,

02:03:06.010 --> 02:03:09.329
is that even maybe just like a silly myth? I'll

02:03:09.329 --> 02:03:11.829
tell you what, if the sandwich didn't originate

02:03:11.829 --> 02:03:13.529
with the Earl of Sandwich, what a mighty coincidence

02:03:13.529 --> 02:03:17.609
that is. What a real deal crazy coincidence.

02:03:17.609 --> 02:03:20.350
If there is an Earl of Sandwich, what is the

02:03:20.350 --> 02:03:23.359
origins of the term sandwich? I'm stuck looking

02:03:23.359 --> 02:03:25.359
at the Earl of Sandwich. Okay, so the Earl of

02:03:25.359 --> 02:03:27.619
Sandwich exists. But just put into perplexity,

02:03:27.659 --> 02:03:32.199
what are the origins of the sandwich? I'm pretty

02:03:32.199 --> 02:03:34.520
sure it was like a military guy. Yes. And he

02:03:34.520 --> 02:03:36.520
was like, fuck it, just give me the bread and

02:03:36.520 --> 02:03:38.220
the meat. I'll put it together. And he cut the

02:03:38.220 --> 02:03:40.239
bread open, stuffed it in there. Because I think

02:03:40.239 --> 02:03:42.260
they used to just eat bread and eat meat. They

02:03:42.260 --> 02:03:44.039
just ate bread by itself. They were too stupid

02:03:44.039 --> 02:03:47.079
to combine them. Yeah, very autistically. Keep

02:03:47.079 --> 02:03:49.840
the food separate. 18th century England named

02:03:49.840 --> 02:03:52.880
after John Montagu. The fourth Earl of Sandwich.

02:03:53.260 --> 02:03:57.699
Someone is the Earl of Sandwich. During a prolonged

02:03:57.699 --> 02:04:01.720
card game in 1762. Oh, that's right. He was gambling.

02:04:02.199 --> 02:04:04.619
That's right. Now I remember. Oh, well, now that

02:04:04.619 --> 02:04:07.500
gambling is so fucking massive now, what cool

02:04:07.500 --> 02:04:10.380
food is going to come out of that? That's already

02:04:10.380 --> 02:04:13.659
here. All the fast food Uber Eats will deliver

02:04:13.659 --> 02:04:16.000
it right to your table. Allowing him to eat without

02:04:16.000 --> 02:04:18.640
interrupting play, the practice creation popularized

02:04:18.640 --> 02:04:22.100
the handheld meal among England's elite. There

02:04:22.100 --> 02:04:23.619
it is. Oh, that's so funny. It used to be an

02:04:23.619 --> 02:04:28.260
elite food. Oh, so it looks like the Romans had

02:04:28.260 --> 02:04:31.199
it before. It says similar concepts predated

02:04:31.199 --> 02:04:35.619
Montague, such as the Roman ophela, which involved

02:04:35.619 --> 02:04:38.659
meat or cheese between bread slices. That's a

02:04:38.659 --> 02:04:40.699
sandwich. Right. He just didn't call it that.

02:04:42.239 --> 02:04:45.939
Huh. Okay. They finally had a name that stuck.

02:04:46.960 --> 02:04:50.199
Is there a current Earl of Sandwich? I bet there

02:04:50.199 --> 02:04:54.060
is. Yeah. Imagine if he's gluten sensitive. That's

02:04:54.060 --> 02:04:56.020
what I was digging through was this, but I didn't

02:04:56.020 --> 02:04:59.460
get any good information from it. Well, now we

02:04:59.460 --> 02:05:03.539
know. You want to talk about places to eat, Austin

02:05:03.539 --> 02:05:06.800
has an amazing fucking selection of places to

02:05:06.800 --> 02:05:09.680
eat. During the day, the night leaves a little.

02:05:09.899 --> 02:05:11.880
Yeah, late night. There needs to be a late night

02:05:11.880 --> 02:05:13.119
diner out here. Well, we were talking about that

02:05:13.119 --> 02:05:15.279
last night. One of the things I really miss about

02:05:15.279 --> 02:05:18.560
LA is the Jewish delis, like Cantor's. Yes. We

02:05:18.560 --> 02:05:21.020
used to go there after a club. We'd leave, and

02:05:21.020 --> 02:05:23.220
we'd go to Cantor's, and I would get a pastrami

02:05:23.220 --> 02:05:26.779
Reuben with steak fries. Oh, my God. Have you

02:05:26.779 --> 02:05:28.600
ever had a pastrami Reuben from Cantor's? Yeah.

02:05:28.989 --> 02:05:31.189
Good Lord. That's what you get at Cantor's. Good

02:05:31.189 --> 02:05:33.470
Lord. It's good. Yeah. I mean, it might be the

02:05:33.470 --> 02:05:36.270
best pastrami Reuben on earth. It's right up

02:05:36.270 --> 02:05:38.189
there with Cat's Deli in New York City, which

02:05:38.189 --> 02:05:40.130
is maybe the king. Oh, I've never been there.

02:05:40.270 --> 02:05:43.989
Oh, Lord. Cat's Deli in New York City is fucking

02:05:43.989 --> 02:05:46.770
legendary. First of all, you get a ticket when

02:05:46.770 --> 02:05:48.409
you get there. I don't even know if they accept

02:05:48.409 --> 02:05:50.189
credit cards. You might have to pay in cash.

02:05:50.409 --> 02:05:52.170
Oh, I like that. You get a ticket when you get

02:05:52.170 --> 02:05:53.890
there, and you can't lose your ticket. If you

02:05:53.890 --> 02:05:55.470
lose your ticket, you got to pay like 50 bucks

02:05:55.470 --> 02:05:58.149
because you take that ticket, and on that ticket,

02:05:58.229 --> 02:06:00.109
they write all the things you get. So you go

02:06:00.109 --> 02:06:01.390
up to the counter, and they're like, we're going

02:06:01.390 --> 02:06:03.130
to get you. And there's guys that have been fucking

02:06:03.130 --> 02:06:07.229
chopping meat since the 20s. And they'll slice

02:06:07.229 --> 02:06:09.300
you off a couple of pieces of brisket. get slice

02:06:09.300 --> 02:06:11.539
you off a couple of pieces of pastrami and you

02:06:11.539 --> 02:06:13.180
get to eat it while you're there while you're

02:06:13.180 --> 02:06:15.180
waiting for your sandwich to be made and you

02:06:15.180 --> 02:06:17.180
know you tell him what you want and he pulls

02:06:17.180 --> 02:06:19.680
the fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it

02:06:19.680 --> 02:06:21.439
up in front of you it steams coming off of it

02:06:21.439 --> 02:06:23.699
he's piling it on that rye bread you're like

02:06:24.399 --> 02:06:25.840
You can't wait, and then he gives you a couple

02:06:25.840 --> 02:06:27.659
pickles in there, and then you're like, what

02:06:27.659 --> 02:06:29.199
else do you want? And then you move down the

02:06:29.199 --> 02:06:30.819
line. Like, can I get an order of fries? Can

02:06:30.819 --> 02:06:32.260
I get an order of fries? I want a root beer.

02:06:32.819 --> 02:06:35.340
And then you get to the end, and they put it

02:06:35.340 --> 02:06:37.479
all on your ticket. And then when you leave,

02:06:37.680 --> 02:06:39.680
after you've eaten, then you bring the ticket

02:06:39.680 --> 02:06:44.119
up to the counter. Ah, okay. So it's food plus

02:06:44.119 --> 02:06:48.039
accountability. You have to keep track of stuff.

02:06:48.199 --> 02:06:50.520
It's a weird old system, so nobody pays attention.

02:06:50.720 --> 02:06:52.539
So everyone loses their fucking ticket if you're

02:06:52.539 --> 02:06:54.039
from out of town, if you've never been. in there

02:06:54.039 --> 02:06:56.000
before. You're like, what? The ticket? What?

02:06:56.119 --> 02:06:58.340
What happened? How much is it? It's a way to

02:06:58.340 --> 02:07:01.039
scam the tourists a little bit. It's like a tourist

02:07:01.039 --> 02:07:03.119
fee, not a scam. Well, I just think it's how

02:07:03.119 --> 02:07:04.880
they used to count back then. They just never

02:07:04.880 --> 02:07:07.020
changed it. It's kind of the charm of the place.

02:07:07.079 --> 02:07:09.600
It's got this weird thing. Show me some canter

02:07:09.600 --> 02:07:13.920
sandwiches, son. Show me some of that. When I

02:07:13.920 --> 02:07:17.110
was a door guy, we were big swingers, guys. Show

02:07:17.110 --> 02:07:22.350
me Katz's. That was the diner we went to. Swingers

02:07:22.350 --> 02:07:24.250
was great. That was a great diner. That was a

02:07:24.250 --> 02:07:26.350
great diner. Really good food. And that was open

02:07:26.350 --> 02:07:29.010
pretty late, too. Look at that, son. Are you

02:07:29.010 --> 02:07:32.189
fucking kidding me? Look at that pastrami with

02:07:32.189 --> 02:07:36.670
Swiss cheese. Oh, Lord. That's so good. And they

02:07:36.670 --> 02:07:38.789
piled it up high, and they've been doing it that

02:07:38.789 --> 02:07:42.369
way since the fucking 1800s. How old is Cantor's?

02:07:42.510 --> 02:07:47.239
1888. 1888? Jeez. 1888. Look how good that looks.

02:07:47.420 --> 02:07:51.680
Oh! You can see how she's pulling it like that.

02:07:51.720 --> 02:07:54.899
The flavors. Oh! Yeah, see, this is what Austin

02:07:54.899 --> 02:07:57.619
is definitely missing. Yeah. They need something

02:07:57.619 --> 02:07:59.439
late night, something that we can all eat, where

02:07:59.439 --> 02:08:02.600
you can go and hang out. Now, I had heard that

02:08:02.600 --> 02:08:06.260
someone was opening a Cat's Deli in Austin, right?

02:08:06.380 --> 02:08:09.539
But I don't think it's Cat's Cat's Deli from

02:08:09.539 --> 02:08:11.460
New York City. No, it's just called Cat's Deli.

02:08:11.460 --> 02:08:15.689
Cat's never closes? Oh, coming soon. Hold on.

02:08:15.689 --> 02:08:20.010
Go back. Coming soon on 6th Street. How far is

02:08:20.010 --> 02:08:21.829
that from us? Well, we're on 6th. It's on West

02:08:21.829 --> 02:08:23.890
6th. It's on West 6th. So it's like near. It's

02:08:23.890 --> 02:08:26.289
taking over our current spot. Yeah. What's that?

02:08:26.430 --> 02:08:28.470
It's taking over us. I think there's like a bar

02:08:28.470 --> 02:08:30.130
there or something now. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's

02:08:30.130 --> 02:08:32.029
kind of near where. Opening in the same location

02:08:32.029 --> 02:08:35.229
as the OG Cats is operated for 32 years. So it's

02:08:35.229 --> 02:08:38.699
way down by Jay Carver's. Yeah, but that's a

02:08:38.699 --> 02:08:40.920
five -minute drive. Yeah, you can walk there.

02:08:41.159 --> 02:08:43.920
We do that all the time. Katz never closes. But

02:08:43.920 --> 02:08:46.260
that was August 18th. Has there been any news

02:08:46.260 --> 02:08:49.159
since? Is it open? No, no, no. It's going to

02:08:49.159 --> 02:08:51.119
take a year. Oh, it's going to take a year. Oh,

02:08:51.140 --> 02:08:53.399
they're building it out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa.

02:08:53.739 --> 02:08:56.119
There's a few places like that that got the name

02:08:56.119 --> 02:08:57.439
out, and it's going to be open in a year and

02:08:57.439 --> 02:08:59.800
a half. So was there an original Katz's never

02:08:59.800 --> 02:09:02.720
closes? That's the one. That's where it was.

02:09:02.840 --> 02:09:06.510
It closed in 2011. So they lied. No, what do

02:09:06.510 --> 02:09:11.090
you mean? Fucking closed. Yeah, cats sometimes

02:09:11.090 --> 02:09:12.989
closes for 15 years. By the way, I would have

02:09:12.989 --> 02:09:15.310
never allowed them to use a K for closes. Like,

02:09:15.369 --> 02:09:19.329
guys, we're not kooky. Stop. Yeah, you're not

02:09:19.329 --> 02:09:21.930
Krispy Kreme. Yeah, why are you doing that? So

02:09:21.930 --> 02:09:28.310
expected in 2026, maybe 2027. Well, hopefully

02:09:28.310 --> 02:09:30.430
they are. Because that's the big hole right now

02:09:30.430 --> 02:09:31.789
in the Austin game. Look at it, though. This

02:09:31.789 --> 02:09:34.510
is it. New York -style deli menu with sandwiches

02:09:34.510 --> 02:09:37.630
like Reuben's, day -long breakfast dishes like

02:09:37.630 --> 02:09:40.510
waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes, entrees including

02:09:40.510 --> 02:09:43.109
pork roasts and meatloaves. Oh, my God, it sounds

02:09:43.109 --> 02:09:47.090
amazing. Open 24 -7. All right. That'll be it

02:09:47.090 --> 02:09:49.970
for us. That'll be it. Finally. Finally. Because

02:09:49.970 --> 02:09:51.710
that was the big hole. Outside of that, Austin

02:09:51.710 --> 02:09:53.930
has, like, amazing food. We should help them.

02:09:54.050 --> 02:09:56.750
But, yeah, after 10 p .m., it gets rough pickings

02:09:56.750 --> 02:09:58.710
around here. Yeah, let's blow them up when they

02:09:58.710 --> 02:10:00.850
open up. A lot of halal carts, which I wouldn't

02:10:00.850 --> 02:10:03.350
expect in Austin. That's such a funny. Going

02:10:03.350 --> 02:10:04.729
through there, I wouldn't be like, oh, halal

02:10:04.729 --> 02:10:06.329
carts would be a good way I get late -night food.

02:10:06.850 --> 02:10:09.109
Entrepreneurs. Yeah. Dudes recognize the need.

02:10:09.350 --> 02:10:12.470
Yeah. There's the only things you can get. Oh,

02:10:12.649 --> 02:10:15.350
there's Golden Tiger. That's great. They're open

02:10:15.350 --> 02:10:17.750
pretty late, right? They're open until like 1

02:10:17.750 --> 02:10:20.869
.30. Yeah, that's pretty late. That's pretty

02:10:20.869 --> 02:10:23.470
good. The comic life, you're like out at 2. I

02:10:23.470 --> 02:10:26.170
know. Looking for food at 2. Yeah, at 2 and you're

02:10:26.170 --> 02:10:28.439
like, well, thank God the... The Mexican hot

02:10:28.439 --> 02:10:30.359
dog carts people are here. Right. Yeah, that

02:10:30.359 --> 02:10:32.399
happened recently. They started showing up. Yeah,

02:10:32.500 --> 02:10:34.140
there's always smart people that capitalize.

02:10:34.760 --> 02:10:36.199
Because there's always, I mean, there's just

02:10:36.199 --> 02:10:38.899
so many people walking around drunk. Right, just

02:10:38.899 --> 02:10:41.000
looking for stuff. Especially 6th Street. You

02:10:41.000 --> 02:10:43.000
got a taco truck, you can kill it. Oh, yeah.

02:10:43.119 --> 02:10:45.100
On 6th Street? Oh, at 2 in the morning, all the

02:10:45.100 --> 02:10:47.180
fucking zombies. And there's that road when you

02:10:47.180 --> 02:10:49.260
go up to 7th where when you're headed towards

02:10:49.260 --> 02:10:53.140
Creek, there's a whole parking lot that's got

02:10:53.140 --> 02:10:57.739
a bunch of food. trucks up in there. My favorite

02:10:57.739 --> 02:10:59.539
place is called Diddy Dog. They got bulgogi fries.

02:11:01.239 --> 02:11:03.960
Bulgogi fries. Bulgogi fries. Isn't there a really

02:11:03.960 --> 02:11:06.779
good cheeseburger place over there too? Oh, yeah,

02:11:06.920 --> 02:11:08.500
there's the Yala Burgers. They're pretty good.

02:11:08.600 --> 02:11:11.100
But for me, downtown, if I'm eating downtown,

02:11:11.439 --> 02:11:13.439
I'm eating the bulgogi fries. That good, huh?

02:11:13.619 --> 02:11:16.020
Oh, yeah. There are a lot, so I can't get them

02:11:16.020 --> 02:11:18.039
very often. Now that I'm older, I'm like, oh,

02:11:18.060 --> 02:11:20.680
yeah, I have to take care of myself. But when

02:11:20.680 --> 02:11:23.100
I first moved here, I was on that bulgogi fry

02:11:23.100 --> 02:11:25.460
diet, son. It's kind of insane how many great

02:11:25.460 --> 02:11:27.479
restaurants there are here, though. It's like,

02:11:27.500 --> 02:11:31.020
the number's nuts. Yeah, and good casual eating

02:11:31.020 --> 02:11:34.000
places, too. It's like you can really – everyone

02:11:34.000 --> 02:11:36.579
who moves – I call it – when you move to Austin,

02:11:36.739 --> 02:11:39.899
there's the freshman 15. Just from eating here?

02:11:39.920 --> 02:11:41.899
Just from eating here. You just get it. And then

02:11:41.899 --> 02:11:44.079
after you live here for like five years, you

02:11:44.079 --> 02:11:46.460
get – I think you just get so tired of brisket

02:11:46.460 --> 02:11:48.640
that you can't look at it again for a while.

02:11:49.279 --> 02:11:52.260
I eat so much brisket that I only go now when

02:11:52.260 --> 02:11:54.319
like out -of -town people are here. That's funny.

02:11:54.460 --> 02:11:57.760
I could eat it 24 days out of a month. I'll take

02:11:57.760 --> 02:12:01.720
six off. Oh, no. I love it. Yeah. Sometimes the

02:12:01.720 --> 02:12:03.619
Terry Blacks will come to the green room and

02:12:03.619 --> 02:12:05.140
I'll be like, I can't look at this right now.

02:12:05.359 --> 02:12:07.199
Oh, no. This is like day three in a row of Terry

02:12:07.199 --> 02:12:09.220
Blacks. Not to complain, but it is funny. Terry

02:12:09.220 --> 02:12:11.640
Blacks has those beef ribs, dog. That's their

02:12:11.640 --> 02:12:13.760
best. Those beef ribs are insane. I do describe

02:12:13.760 --> 02:12:15.560
it. You got to take every tourist. It's like

02:12:15.560 --> 02:12:17.859
the Disneyland of Austin. Yeah. Yeah, it's a

02:12:17.859 --> 02:12:19.399
line that moves quickly. You can see how everything's

02:12:19.399 --> 02:12:23.060
made. And it's a fucking huge place. I think

02:12:23.060 --> 02:12:24.899
they're like the highest volume restaurant in

02:12:24.899 --> 02:12:27.659
the country. Really? Yeah, I think in terms of

02:12:27.659 --> 02:12:29.460
like brisket and barbecue and stuff like that.

02:12:30.119 --> 02:12:32.579
They were telling me that. I forget what the

02:12:32.579 --> 02:12:34.420
exact statistic they told me, but it was like

02:12:34.420 --> 02:12:37.479
the volume of food that they served there is

02:12:37.479 --> 02:12:39.260
like as high as anywhere in the country. That

02:12:39.260 --> 02:12:41.979
makes sense. There's always a line there. Giant

02:12:41.979 --> 02:12:43.619
line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they always move

02:12:43.619 --> 02:12:45.100
quickly, so they're always getting people in

02:12:45.100 --> 02:12:47.840
and out. Well, you can only eat so much. When

02:12:47.840 --> 02:12:49.760
you sit down and eat barbecue, you ain't sitting

02:12:49.760 --> 02:12:52.699
there for three hours, bitch. No. No. And you

02:12:52.699 --> 02:12:55.220
also always get more than you can eat. Yeah,

02:12:55.279 --> 02:12:57.039
you're always like, yeah, because it looks so

02:12:57.039 --> 02:12:58.579
good up there. And then, like, the second you

02:12:58.579 --> 02:13:00.140
have, like, their cornbread, you're so full.

02:13:00.399 --> 02:13:01.899
What the fuck is that? Especially those beef

02:13:01.899 --> 02:13:04.760
ribs, man. They're so rich. You can only eat,

02:13:04.779 --> 02:13:08.260
like, so much of it before you're like, oh. Oh,

02:13:08.319 --> 02:13:11.260
yeah, yeah. Not before a show. That's always

02:13:11.260 --> 02:13:13.579
a mistake that people make. Bro, last time we

02:13:13.579 --> 02:13:15.819
had a whole group of us, I made the mistake of

02:13:15.819 --> 02:13:17.600
sitting next to Metzger, and I was in the corner.

02:13:17.800 --> 02:13:20.600
He was just fucking looming over me with conspiracy

02:13:20.600 --> 02:13:24.439
theories. I'm like, Kurt, you got to stop. Enjoy

02:13:24.439 --> 02:13:26.560
these ribs. You got to stop. I don't know if

02:13:26.560 --> 02:13:28.260
it's just the Terry Blacks in Austin because

02:13:28.260 --> 02:13:30.060
I know they have one in Dallas, I think, too.

02:13:30.300 --> 02:13:33.659
But it says 18 % of America's brisket is served

02:13:33.659 --> 02:13:38.680
by them. 18 % of America's? That's so much brisket.

02:13:38.859 --> 02:13:42.739
That's crazy. Matt's got a fun one in the green

02:13:42.739 --> 02:13:46.060
room. My favorite is when he'll be like, I thought

02:13:46.060 --> 02:13:47.899
this was common knowledge. You don't know? Yeah,

02:13:47.920 --> 02:13:49.800
you don't know. There was something he said in

02:13:49.800 --> 02:13:51.680
the green room the other day about Morgan Freeman.

02:13:52.610 --> 02:13:55.090
Some deep conspiracy about Morgan Freeman, and

02:13:55.090 --> 02:13:56.630
we're like, what the fuck are you talking about?

02:13:56.670 --> 02:13:57.770
It's like, well, I thought this was common knowledge.

02:13:57.890 --> 02:14:00.010
It's like, no, no one knows anything about what

02:14:00.010 --> 02:14:01.529
you're talking about. Is it the Morgan Freeman

02:14:01.529 --> 02:14:03.949
dated his granddaughter or some shit like that?

02:14:03.949 --> 02:14:05.369
Yeah, step -granddaughter. Step -granddaughter.

02:14:05.369 --> 02:14:09.590
Yeah, dated her, and then the boyfriend went

02:14:09.590 --> 02:14:13.010
crazy and killed her. And he was like, I thought

02:14:13.010 --> 02:14:14.550
that was common knowledge. It's like, what do

02:14:14.550 --> 02:14:16.590
you mean? Is that true, the boyfriend went crazy

02:14:16.590 --> 02:14:18.510
and killed her? That's what he said. I looked

02:14:18.510 --> 02:14:19.989
at it afterwards, and I was like, I don't know

02:14:19.989 --> 02:14:23.010
where. Kurt gets his news plugged in straight

02:14:23.010 --> 02:14:25.010
from the Matrix, I think. I don't even know where

02:14:25.010 --> 02:14:26.810
he finds his stuff. Well, he's on that Jimmy

02:14:26.810 --> 02:14:31.989
Dore show. And Jimmy Dore show, the entire show,

02:14:32.090 --> 02:14:34.590
is about exposing corruption and conspiracies.

02:14:35.920 --> 02:14:38.640
It's a lot. Yeah. You live in that world all

02:14:38.640 --> 02:14:40.239
the time. Then everything becomes a conspiracy

02:14:40.239 --> 02:14:41.520
and everything. It doesn't leave a lot of room

02:14:41.520 --> 02:14:43.699
for sunshine. Also, here's the thing. There's

02:14:43.699 --> 02:14:45.319
enough conspiracy. Like we talked about the Franklin

02:14:45.319 --> 02:14:47.539
scandal. There's enough conspiracies that are

02:14:47.539 --> 02:14:49.560
absolutely real and provable that if you go into

02:14:49.560 --> 02:14:52.119
it, you will kind of go crazy. Right. I mean,

02:14:52.159 --> 02:14:53.640
this is what kind of happened to Alex Jones.

02:14:53.779 --> 02:14:55.239
This is what happens to a lot of people that

02:14:55.239 --> 02:14:58.060
get involved in conspiracies. It's like you find

02:14:58.060 --> 02:15:00.479
out how many of them are true and you start losing

02:15:00.479 --> 02:15:02.579
your fucking mind. You're like, what is real?

02:15:02.859 --> 02:15:05.970
Like, what really controls the world? What fucking

02:15:05.970 --> 02:15:07.850
lizard people are really at the center of this

02:15:07.850 --> 02:15:10.489
whole thing? Right. Yeah. This is kind of better

02:15:10.489 --> 02:15:12.489
to just stay away at a certain point and just

02:15:12.489 --> 02:15:14.569
be like, eh. We should probably pay attention

02:15:14.569 --> 02:15:18.210
a little bit, but some people must have an obligation

02:15:18.210 --> 02:15:20.930
to do it because if it doesn't get exposed, then

02:15:20.930 --> 02:15:22.829
it's going to continue. And the only way that

02:15:22.829 --> 02:15:24.409
you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people

02:15:24.409 --> 02:15:26.250
have to get busted and they have to be held accountable.

02:15:26.609 --> 02:15:28.970
The public has to get outraged. So someone has

02:15:28.970 --> 02:15:30.989
to be making these videos. But it doesn't have

02:15:30.989 --> 02:15:34.640
to be you. Right. Yeah. For your own personal

02:15:34.640 --> 02:15:38.560
mental health, it's just not good to absorb all

02:15:38.560 --> 02:15:41.960
of the evil of the world. Yeah. There's no reason

02:15:41.960 --> 02:15:44.460
to take that on. There's no reason. Just find

02:15:44.460 --> 02:15:47.739
happiness in your lane. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like

02:15:47.739 --> 02:15:49.880
that's pretty easy to do. Yeah. I feel like that's

02:15:49.880 --> 02:15:52.800
pretty easy to do. Yeah. Just be happy with where

02:15:52.800 --> 02:15:55.590
you are. And work from there. Yeah, but it's

02:15:55.590 --> 02:15:57.350
just like some people feel obligated to be a

02:15:57.350 --> 02:16:01.810
part of something, you know. The thing about

02:16:01.810 --> 02:16:04.470
like with Metzger is like he wasn't always like

02:16:04.470 --> 02:16:06.710
this. I was friends with him long before I started

02:16:06.710 --> 02:16:11.069
working with Jimmy. And he was, you know, fun

02:16:11.069 --> 02:16:13.529
and crazy, always like the same kind of guy.

02:16:13.590 --> 02:16:18.430
But now it's like the obsession is all on deep

02:16:18.430 --> 02:16:21.630
corruption and conspiracies. It's like, yo. But

02:16:21.630 --> 02:16:24.170
he's right. He's right about a lot of it. Right.

02:16:24.250 --> 02:16:27.090
Which is nuts. And he maintains a lot of it in

02:16:27.090 --> 02:16:29.029
his fucking brain, just bouncing around in there

02:16:29.029 --> 02:16:34.229
like. But yeah, but I mean, it just takes over.

02:16:34.250 --> 02:16:38.100
I do think. White Precious, his Comedy Central

02:16:38.100 --> 02:16:41.139
special, that's low -key one of the most underrated

02:16:41.139 --> 02:16:42.579
specials of all time. That special was great.

02:16:42.579 --> 02:16:44.579
He's very funny. That special was great. He's

02:16:44.579 --> 02:16:46.680
very good. His writing's very good. He's just

02:16:46.680 --> 02:16:49.379
very smart. He's a great podcast guest, too.

02:16:49.879 --> 02:16:51.840
Basically, just got to kind of corral him a little

02:16:51.840 --> 02:16:55.680
bit. Because he'll go from one subject to the

02:16:55.680 --> 02:16:57.819
next subject to the next, all in one rant. You're

02:16:57.819 --> 02:17:00.440
like, okay, go back to that first one. Queen

02:17:00.440 --> 02:17:05.040
Elizabeth did what? Yeah. You know? Yeah. He's

02:17:05.040 --> 02:17:07.299
just well we have a lot of I mean, he's another

02:17:07.299 --> 02:17:09.120
one that lives in Austin now. We have a lot of

02:17:09.120 --> 02:17:12.360
them It's pretty cool. Yeah, it's uh, I'm it's

02:17:12.360 --> 02:17:14.620
it's so it's so fun watching like all these like

02:17:14.620 --> 02:17:17.360
young kids to like rise up and be like just like

02:17:17.360 --> 02:17:20.700
find themselves it's so like I mentioned fuzzy

02:17:20.700 --> 02:17:23.639
earlier, but just watching it on stage like he

02:17:23.639 --> 02:17:25.459
does it it's so it's a great watching him just

02:17:25.459 --> 02:17:28.549
like Figure out to not give a fuck And then see

02:17:28.549 --> 02:17:30.770
what comes from that. Yeah. Like right now he's

02:17:30.770 --> 02:17:32.049
doing these things at the end when he closes

02:17:32.049 --> 02:17:35.389
out like Fat Man. He'll also do a Q &A, but he's

02:17:35.389 --> 02:17:38.329
not famous. So the questions are so much funnier.

02:17:38.770 --> 02:17:41.090
And like the answers are so much wilder because

02:17:41.090 --> 02:17:43.690
it's just some guy that they all just met. That's

02:17:43.690 --> 02:17:46.329
hilarious. Yeah. So it's a very fun dynamic to

02:17:46.329 --> 02:17:49.110
watch his Q &As. Because the whole audience is

02:17:49.110 --> 02:17:51.409
like, wait, we're doing a Q &A? Why? We had no

02:17:51.409 --> 02:17:53.969
questions coming in. That's funny. Yeah. The

02:17:53.969 --> 02:17:56.110
first time I ever saw anybody do a Q &A was Seinfeld.

02:17:56.540 --> 02:17:59.319
Really? Yeah, he did a whole set. He did like

02:17:59.319 --> 02:18:01.979
45 minutes. And then it was at the Paradise in

02:18:01.979 --> 02:18:04.479
Boston. The Paradise was a small club. It was

02:18:04.479 --> 02:18:07.079
a rock and roll club that was connected to Stitches.

02:18:07.079 --> 02:18:10.020
And Stitches was the comedy club. So for the

02:18:10.020 --> 02:18:12.120
comedy club, like if you're a regular comedian,

02:18:12.319 --> 02:18:15.479
I think Stitches probably seated maybe 150 people.

02:18:15.760 --> 02:18:18.600
It was like a little bit bigger than Little Boy.

02:18:20.950 --> 02:18:24.370
So if you were a regular comic, like a road headliner,

02:18:24.450 --> 02:18:26.370
you would do stitches. And then if you're a big

02:18:26.370 --> 02:18:28.270
guy like Jerry Seinfeld who had been on television,

02:18:28.469 --> 02:18:30.770
you'd do the Paradise. Okay. So I was with a

02:18:30.770 --> 02:18:33.829
date. I think I was maybe 20, and I went to see

02:18:33.829 --> 02:18:36.049
Jerry Seinfeld before I ever did stand -up. And

02:18:36.049 --> 02:18:38.489
he did stand -up, and then he came back out,

02:18:38.590 --> 02:18:40.709
and he answered questions. And he would just

02:18:40.709 --> 02:18:42.889
riff with the audience. And it was fucking great.

02:18:43.129 --> 02:18:45.649
It was really cool. He just started riffing about

02:18:45.649 --> 02:18:48.409
stuff. I guess that's how he was creating material

02:18:48.409 --> 02:18:50.329
and coming up with new premises. Yeah. Do you

02:18:50.329 --> 02:18:52.450
get bits when you do that? Sometimes. Yeah? Yeah,

02:18:52.469 --> 02:18:56.610
yeah, yeah. It's not an exact science. We'll

02:18:56.610 --> 02:18:59.250
have a whole fun Q &A session for 20 minutes

02:18:59.250 --> 02:19:01.170
and there's no bits. Right. And I'll do it five

02:19:01.170 --> 02:19:04.309
times, six times, and then one time, bam, I got

02:19:04.309 --> 02:19:07.629
one. And then you just got to grab that sucker

02:19:07.629 --> 02:19:10.709
and reel it into the shore. Yeah, and just work

02:19:10.709 --> 02:19:13.280
on it. Yeah, and then figure it out. Bottom of

02:19:13.280 --> 02:19:15.159
the Barrel's the best. Bottom of the Barrel's

02:19:15.159 --> 02:19:17.700
the best premise factory ever. Yeah, yeah. Oh,

02:19:17.719 --> 02:19:19.819
yeah. I feel like, because there's certain people

02:19:19.819 --> 02:19:21.920
who do it, like, I think you're, I mean, you're

02:19:21.920 --> 02:19:23.459
great at it, and I feel like you should, like,

02:19:23.520 --> 02:19:25.319
if you were thinking about doing a special, would

02:19:25.319 --> 02:19:26.700
you ever consider doing a Bottom of the Barrel

02:19:26.700 --> 02:19:28.979
type special? No, because I'd say too much wild

02:19:28.979 --> 02:19:30.620
shit that I wouldn't want to get published. That's

02:19:30.620 --> 02:19:32.979
a very fair point. That's a very, the most insane

02:19:32.979 --> 02:19:34.719
shit I've ever said has been on Bottom of the

02:19:34.719 --> 02:19:36.959
Barrel. And just like, I'm so glad there's a

02:19:36.959 --> 02:19:38.299
place where I can get this thought out, because

02:19:38.299 --> 02:19:41.620
they'll look at you. Like, yo, what the fuck?

02:19:41.799 --> 02:19:44.139
And you're like, hey, this wasn't my idea. You

02:19:44.139 --> 02:19:47.059
fucking wrote this down. Yeah, they get mad at

02:19:47.059 --> 02:19:52.799
you. I remember one time I got bestiality, and

02:19:52.799 --> 02:19:56.260
it reminded me of a story. So the way we consumed

02:19:56.260 --> 02:19:58.219
porn as kids, because you guys had, like, magazines

02:19:58.219 --> 02:19:59.700
you'd find in the woods. You have a bit about

02:19:59.700 --> 02:20:01.920
that. Yeah. Yeah, that was not so weird. This

02:20:01.920 --> 02:20:04.760
was, like, pre -porn hub. So these pre -YouTubes

02:20:04.760 --> 02:20:05.899
of porn, as I call them. But there were these,

02:20:05.940 --> 02:20:08.989
like, dedicated sites. They'd be like, one of

02:20:08.989 --> 02:20:11.170
them was like Mr. Chu's Asian beaver. I think

02:20:11.170 --> 02:20:14.229
you can tell what that's about. That one was

02:20:14.229 --> 02:20:17.450
great. Probably run by a Jewish guy. Yeah, for

02:20:17.450 --> 02:20:19.909
sure. Definitely not a Mr. Chu. There was at

02:20:19.909 --> 02:20:21.709
the very end, there was this very racist cartoon

02:20:21.709 --> 02:20:24.450
beaver. And he would have like the buck teeth

02:20:24.450 --> 02:20:27.030
and the rice hat. And then he would rate every

02:20:27.030 --> 02:20:29.860
girl out of fortune. Five fortune cookies at

02:20:29.860 --> 02:20:32.799
the end of each video. That was the whole premise

02:20:32.799 --> 02:20:36.760
of the site. That's what we were coming up with

02:20:36.760 --> 02:20:38.780
in porn. And then one day, and we'd watch that

02:20:38.780 --> 02:20:40.360
together in like seventh grade. Like that's our

02:20:40.360 --> 02:20:43.299
huddling around the magazine. And then one day

02:20:43.299 --> 02:20:45.760
we invited the weird guy and he had found one

02:20:45.760 --> 02:20:49.760
where people fuck animals. Yeah. It was like

02:20:49.760 --> 02:20:51.819
wild. And there's been very famous videos. I

02:20:51.819 --> 02:20:53.739
think there's one called like Mr. Hands or something

02:20:53.739 --> 02:20:55.120
like that. Yeah, yeah. There's very famous. Like

02:20:55.120 --> 02:20:58.260
those originated out of those sites. And so he

02:20:58.260 --> 02:21:00.319
was showing us that. And then what I said on

02:21:00.319 --> 02:21:03.180
stage is it gave me the life experience to know

02:21:03.180 --> 02:21:07.079
that sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog,

02:21:07.280 --> 02:21:10.899
sometimes the dog enjoys it. And they all looked

02:21:10.899 --> 02:21:12.440
at me like I was horrified, which is a kind of

02:21:12.440 --> 02:21:13.879
horrifying thing to say. But I was also like,

02:21:13.959 --> 02:21:16.260
well, you brought it up. Yeah. I wasn't going

02:21:16.260 --> 02:21:18.200
to tell this story unless you asked me. Some

02:21:18.200 --> 02:21:20.760
dogs must like it. There's probably a girl dog

02:21:20.760 --> 02:21:22.760
out there that likes some dick. Oh, I mean, there's

02:21:22.760 --> 02:21:25.180
probably a guy dog out there that's giving some

02:21:25.180 --> 02:21:27.520
dick right now. For sure. To ladies? To some

02:21:27.520 --> 02:21:29.840
crazy ladies. I've seen videos when I was a kid.

02:21:29.920 --> 02:21:32.700
There was this video that a friend of mine had,

02:21:32.840 --> 02:21:35.079
and I remember one of us had to watch the door.

02:21:35.879 --> 02:21:39.360
Like a sentry? Yeah, because there's a door down

02:21:39.360 --> 02:21:41.200
into the basement. So one of us had to stand

02:21:41.200 --> 02:21:43.360
up at the door, and the rest of us were huddled

02:21:43.360 --> 02:21:45.750
in front of this fucking... 12 -inch television

02:21:45.750 --> 02:21:49.590
with a VCR attached to it. Damn. And you put

02:21:49.590 --> 02:21:51.430
the VHS tape in there and we're watching like

02:21:51.430 --> 02:21:54.969
a copy of a copy of a copy of Barnyard Betty.

02:21:55.229 --> 02:21:57.790
And Barnyard Betty was this crazy, they took

02:21:57.790 --> 02:22:00.709
some crazy crackhead and they gave her money

02:22:00.709 --> 02:22:03.510
to suck a dog's dick and get fucked by a German

02:22:03.510 --> 02:22:07.190
shepherd. It's a weird watch, man. Yeah. You

02:22:07.190 --> 02:22:09.549
come across some weird shit out there. This dog

02:22:09.549 --> 02:22:13.879
just pumped nut into this fucking poor Drunken,

02:22:13.879 --> 02:22:17.760
sad, alcoholic, drug addict lady. Jesus. It was

02:22:17.760 --> 02:22:22.040
sad. Yeah. Sad. Yeah, that's a... But that's,

02:22:22.040 --> 02:22:25.459
yeah, that's how... Well, porn's fucked. It's

02:22:25.459 --> 02:22:27.799
just so... It's so crazy how it's just moved

02:22:27.799 --> 02:22:30.420
towards... I guess it's more empowering, I guess,

02:22:30.420 --> 02:22:32.799
when it's about individual creators. Right, like

02:22:32.799 --> 02:22:35.219
OnlyFans? Yeah. Do you know the numbers? You

02:22:35.219 --> 02:22:37.760
ever seen the numbers? Oh, I saw the one lady

02:22:37.760 --> 02:22:40.159
that makes more than LeBron. Yeah, that, but

02:22:40.159 --> 02:22:42.700
I mean the number of actual girls that are on

02:22:42.700 --> 02:22:45.819
OnlyFans. Oh, it must be depressing. It's crazy.

02:22:46.280 --> 02:22:47.600
Yeah, and it must be depressing how many people

02:22:47.600 --> 02:22:50.479
are selling themselves to nobody. Exactly. That's

02:22:50.479 --> 02:22:52.739
the thing. The vast majority aren't making any

02:22:52.739 --> 02:22:54.760
money. Right. And then their pussy's out there

02:22:54.760 --> 02:22:56.719
forever. Just forever. Yeah, they're getting

02:22:56.719 --> 02:22:58.799
fucked by a dildo in front of the whole world

02:22:58.799 --> 02:23:00.479
and the guy saves it on his hard drive forever

02:23:00.479 --> 02:23:02.559
and ever and ever and ever. Right. And you were

02:23:02.559 --> 02:23:05.579
19 and you just didn't want to work. But I think

02:23:05.579 --> 02:23:08.319
the number between girls of 18 to, I forget what

02:23:08.319 --> 02:23:10.100
the age is, something in their 20s, it's like

02:23:10.100 --> 02:23:15.100
10%. That's crazy. That's wild. But it's content

02:23:15.100 --> 02:23:17.399
creation. It's like that's a genuine market that

02:23:17.399 --> 02:23:18.979
people are going for, and that's the way to do

02:23:18.979 --> 02:23:20.760
it. It's also pornography. It is pornography.

02:23:21.079 --> 02:23:23.719
Right, but I mean content creation is TikTok,

02:23:24.040 --> 02:23:25.879
Instagram. Right. You know what I mean? Like

02:23:25.879 --> 02:23:28.200
that's content creation. I think they view it

02:23:28.200 --> 02:23:31.840
in the same vein. Wow. Well, it depends on what

02:23:31.840 --> 02:23:34.379
you do, right? I know that top lady, and this

02:23:34.379 --> 02:23:36.799
is something. Sophie Rain. Sophie Rain. And this

02:23:36.799 --> 02:23:38.120
is something that's just interesting across all

02:23:38.120 --> 02:23:40.079
Gen Z is that her thing is that she's a virgin.

02:23:40.649 --> 02:23:43.270
Right. And that's how she sells, which is like,

02:23:43.370 --> 02:23:45.569
yeah, which, you know, take it for what it is.

02:23:45.629 --> 02:23:48.690
But like her and that the Nick Shirley guy, virgin

02:23:48.690 --> 02:23:50.989
Nick Fuentes, virgin. It's like that's like a

02:23:50.989 --> 02:23:53.530
thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity.

02:23:53.690 --> 02:23:56.110
Yeah. You were talking to me about this in the

02:23:56.110 --> 02:24:00.149
green room that like this incel problem is unrecognized.

02:24:00.149 --> 02:24:02.290
There's a giant percentage of people that are

02:24:02.290 --> 02:24:04.590
like voluntarily celibate in this country. Yes,

02:24:04.629 --> 02:24:07.229
I think so. And it's like a lot of it is maybe

02:24:07.229 --> 02:24:09.680
this sort of new religious. This sort of religious

02:24:09.680 --> 02:24:11.440
fervor that's sort of developing with them as

02:24:11.440 --> 02:24:13.379
well because Gen Z is more religious. Yeah, but

02:24:13.379 --> 02:24:15.360
aren't they horny? I don't get it. They're not.

02:24:15.959 --> 02:24:18.520
There's something like some crazy amount of women

02:24:18.520 --> 02:24:20.520
under 25 have never been approached by a guy

02:24:20.520 --> 02:24:24.379
their age in public. What? Yeah, yeah. The game

02:24:24.379 --> 02:24:26.700
is DMs, so it's all online, so it's all fueling

02:24:26.700 --> 02:24:29.180
that sort of loneliness. Yeah, they don't go

02:24:29.180 --> 02:24:32.760
out. Alcohol consumption from Gen Z to millennials

02:24:32.760 --> 02:24:36.040
is like they drink 800 % less. Some crazy shit

02:24:36.040 --> 02:24:38.729
like that. Third spaces, you know the concept

02:24:38.729 --> 02:24:41.209
of a third space? No. Okay, so you have work

02:24:41.209 --> 02:24:43.610
and home. That's space one, space two. And a

02:24:43.610 --> 02:24:47.809
third space is like, you know, when I was in

02:24:47.809 --> 02:24:49.590
college, we'd go to the bowling alley every day

02:24:49.590 --> 02:24:51.750
for one summer. It was stuff like that. It's

02:24:51.750 --> 02:24:53.129
a place that you can all go. The library, the

02:24:53.129 --> 02:24:55.969
mall, places to exist outside of the two spaces.

02:24:56.069 --> 02:24:58.030
Those places are completely disappearing. Whether

02:24:58.030 --> 02:25:00.389
people are staying inside all the time or...

02:25:00.920 --> 02:25:03.280
They've become too expensive. Movies now are

02:25:03.280 --> 02:25:05.700
very expensive, so it's kind of priced out of

02:25:05.700 --> 02:25:07.860
being a third space on top of all the things

02:25:07.860 --> 02:25:10.520
that are going on with movies. So those are also

02:25:10.520 --> 02:25:12.639
disappearing. So places where you can meet someone

02:25:12.639 --> 02:25:17.340
in person are gone. So they're not meeting in

02:25:17.340 --> 02:25:22.239
person. A lot of it is app -driven. And then

02:25:22.239 --> 02:25:25.100
you've got to wonder about sex drive drop -off.

02:25:25.840 --> 02:25:31.129
Well, you can access porn. like instantly now.

02:25:31.309 --> 02:25:34.030
Right. So you can at least play that part of

02:25:34.030 --> 02:25:36.790
your brain, give it something. Right. Give it

02:25:36.790 --> 02:25:38.790
a rush of some kind that it would kind maybe

02:25:38.790 --> 02:25:41.729
get from like a lesser version of sex, but still

02:25:41.729 --> 02:25:45.610
fill that void. Right. But there's also testosterone

02:25:45.610 --> 02:25:49.510
levels have dropped, like fertility levels amongst

02:25:49.510 --> 02:25:52.129
women have dropped, miscarriages have risen.

02:25:52.290 --> 02:25:55.709
The west, the west, the fertility rates in the

02:25:55.709 --> 02:26:00.500
west are like massively concerning. People worry

02:26:00.500 --> 02:26:02.700
about bringing in migrants, but at the same time,

02:26:02.719 --> 02:26:05.500
they're the only ones having kids at replacement

02:26:05.500 --> 02:26:09.659
level. The West isn't having that. I had my 15

02:26:09.659 --> 02:26:11.420
-year high school reunion recently, and I was

02:26:11.420 --> 02:26:13.159
in town. I was like, I'll go to this. And I was

02:26:13.159 --> 02:26:14.579
like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's

02:26:14.579 --> 02:26:17.620
not married and doesn't have kids. And most of

02:26:17.620 --> 02:26:20.399
the people weren't married or didn't have kids.

02:26:20.399 --> 02:26:24.469
How old are you now? 33. Wow. Yeah, most of the

02:26:24.469 --> 02:26:26.690
people there just, I would say, yeah, didn't

02:26:26.690 --> 02:26:30.709
have kids, which is wild. 33 at any other generation,

02:26:30.930 --> 02:26:34.149
this is a late time to not have a kid. This is

02:26:34.149 --> 02:26:37.290
pretty, for people who grew up middle class millennial,

02:26:37.329 --> 02:26:40.969
I would say this is pretty standard to not have

02:26:40.969 --> 02:26:42.889
a kid. And there's certain, I think, driving

02:26:42.889 --> 02:26:46.930
factors, too. The fact that a house is unbuyable

02:26:46.930 --> 02:26:49.909
for a lot of people my age and younger. Because

02:26:49.909 --> 02:26:52.209
you're sold the dream on a house and two kids.

02:26:52.250 --> 02:26:54.969
Well, if you can't get the house, like, it sucks

02:26:54.969 --> 02:26:58.209
to be renting with kids. Right. You know, the

02:26:58.209 --> 02:27:02.129
instability. Average home buyer age is increasing

02:27:02.129 --> 02:27:04.270
while the median age for all U .S. home buyers

02:27:04.270 --> 02:27:07.409
reaching 59. Yeah. Whoa, that's pretty late.

02:27:07.530 --> 02:27:10.610
Yeah, record high. Late 2025. 40. Median age

02:27:10.610 --> 02:27:12.809
for first time buyers hit a record high of 40.

02:27:13.069 --> 02:27:15.709
Wow. Yeah, so it's like that's how long you have

02:27:15.709 --> 02:27:17.870
to, like, it's hard to raise a kid without a

02:27:17.870 --> 02:27:21.870
house, you know? That's crazy. And I think the

02:27:21.870 --> 02:27:23.969
American community in that way is dying because

02:27:23.969 --> 02:27:26.850
it takes a village to raise a child. So you raise

02:27:26.850 --> 02:27:29.409
a child in a house you bought. Your neighbors

02:27:29.409 --> 02:27:31.270
generally say the same. There's a certain level

02:27:31.270 --> 02:27:34.250
of comfort and like, oh, my mom can do this thing

02:27:34.250 --> 02:27:35.549
for me. I can go to my neighbor's house. And

02:27:35.549 --> 02:27:36.950
you know what I mean? There's safety in that.

02:27:37.030 --> 02:27:39.229
But if everyone around you is a renter, then

02:27:39.229 --> 02:27:42.350
your community kind of disappears. There's no

02:27:42.350 --> 02:27:45.590
set community. That's a really good point. And

02:27:45.590 --> 02:27:50.889
it's like... Kids need consistency. So bringing

02:27:50.889 --> 02:27:52.829
up in a world that's constantly shifting, it's

02:27:52.829 --> 02:27:57.110
probably anxiety -inducing to people who can't

02:27:57.110 --> 02:28:00.129
afford homes. For sure. Definitely on that. And

02:28:00.129 --> 02:28:02.290
then childcare is expensive. Then if also your

02:28:02.290 --> 02:28:05.290
friends aren't doing it, you know? And then women

02:28:05.290 --> 02:28:07.010
are waiting later and later because they want

02:28:07.010 --> 02:28:09.690
to prolong their careers. Right. And then it

02:28:09.690 --> 02:28:11.670
becomes harder. And then you get into in vitro

02:28:11.670 --> 02:28:13.790
fertilization. Yeah, there's definitely some

02:28:13.790 --> 02:28:17.069
of this. with this wave of feminism and capitalism,

02:28:17.229 --> 02:28:19.829
there's definitely some insidious ties there

02:28:19.829 --> 02:28:27.209
of just like, you can work, create capital for

02:28:27.209 --> 02:28:30.530
us, and then make it so it's impossible or very

02:28:30.530 --> 02:28:33.829
hard for one working house spouse, just if the

02:28:33.829 --> 02:28:35.389
man is working, to raise a kid. Do you think

02:28:35.389 --> 02:28:40.870
it's on purpose? I think maybe it didn't start

02:28:40.870 --> 02:28:43.629
on purpose, but I think it sort of became intertwined.

02:28:44.079 --> 02:28:49.280
Well, isn't it just a side effect? If women want

02:28:49.280 --> 02:28:51.139
to pursue careers, you're going to have less

02:28:51.139 --> 02:28:55.299
children. But that is for sure. But there's a

02:28:55.299 --> 02:28:57.440
thing about it. There's this like almost demonization

02:28:57.440 --> 02:29:00.840
of the women who choose to stay at home. Like,

02:29:00.840 --> 02:29:02.940
you know, it's like, oh, a trad wife. It's looked

02:29:02.940 --> 02:29:05.159
down on. But isn't that just because of the women

02:29:05.159 --> 02:29:07.360
that are pursuing careers that give them that?

02:29:07.709 --> 02:29:10.729
that look down on. Yeah, that's true. And it's

02:29:10.729 --> 02:29:12.909
probably because they secretly feel like maybe

02:29:12.909 --> 02:29:17.250
they're missing out. Maybe. To me, it's so funny

02:29:17.250 --> 02:29:19.309
that both can exist. It can be the woman that

02:29:19.309 --> 02:29:20.450
go for their careers and the woman that want

02:29:20.450 --> 02:29:22.569
to stay home. It's just for one group to demonize

02:29:22.569 --> 02:29:24.149
the other, I think it's just very interesting.

02:29:24.489 --> 02:29:27.010
Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like population

02:29:27.010 --> 02:29:30.510
drop is a real thing. It does look like the humanity.

02:29:30.610 --> 02:29:32.409
Have you ever seen that population curve of the

02:29:32.409 --> 02:29:36.200
deer? Mm -hmm. Yeah, I think humanity is kind

02:29:36.200 --> 02:29:39.879
of at that point where it levels off. Yeah, because

02:29:39.879 --> 02:29:41.700
I remember my bio class today, which that would

02:29:41.700 --> 02:29:44.719
be the exponential growth and then the level

02:29:44.719 --> 02:29:47.780
off. And we've had the exponential growth, and

02:29:47.780 --> 02:29:49.520
we're looking like that part of the graph. Well,

02:29:49.520 --> 02:29:51.540
the thing is, there is still exponential growth.

02:29:51.600 --> 02:29:53.340
It's just not in the West. That's what's kind

02:29:53.340 --> 02:29:56.020
of weird. Right, right. It's poor people. Poor

02:29:56.020 --> 02:29:57.719
people want to have a bunch of kids, and they're

02:29:57.719 --> 02:29:59.479
having them all the time. Right. And then they

02:29:59.479 --> 02:30:02.069
want to come over here. Yeah. Take over Minnesota.

02:30:04.430 --> 02:30:06.670
And then have their kids in daycare. That doesn't

02:30:06.670 --> 02:30:09.549
exist. Right. But yeah, there is something happening

02:30:09.549 --> 02:30:12.670
in the West. Or like the way that like the South

02:30:12.670 --> 02:30:14.549
Korea and Japan. Oh, they're fucked. They're

02:30:14.549 --> 02:30:16.510
like fucked. They're like actually fucked. They're

02:30:16.510 --> 02:30:18.030
like a couple generations away from like how

02:30:18.030 --> 02:30:19.569
you're going to support this whole thing. Right.

02:30:19.629 --> 02:30:23.010
Unless you let people in. Well, or you encourage

02:30:23.010 --> 02:30:26.510
people to have kids. if you turn it around with

02:30:26.510 --> 02:30:28.049
the youngest people and then you have like a

02:30:28.049 --> 02:30:30.190
blip for a while, but then it gets back to it.

02:30:30.229 --> 02:30:32.049
But man, you have to like make a concerted effort.

02:30:32.209 --> 02:30:34.069
And how do you encourage people to have children?

02:30:34.309 --> 02:30:36.069
Like, because you're going to have to have women

02:30:36.069 --> 02:30:39.250
that don't pursue careers. Right. Right. If you're

02:30:39.250 --> 02:30:41.920
going to have five kids, like. What are you going

02:30:41.920 --> 02:30:43.979
to do? You're working all day? Right. That's

02:30:43.979 --> 02:30:45.500
kind of crazy. Right. And when you have kids,

02:30:45.540 --> 02:30:47.700
you realize how nuts that is because it's like,

02:30:47.739 --> 02:30:50.040
man, your kids, they want their parents, you

02:30:50.040 --> 02:30:51.940
know, and that's good for them to have their

02:30:51.940 --> 02:30:54.379
parents around, especially in this world of predators

02:30:54.379 --> 02:30:57.100
and creeps and weirdos. Right. And things that

02:30:57.100 --> 02:31:00.940
can happen at daycare. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No,

02:31:01.079 --> 02:31:04.840
it's, I don't know how they would incentivize

02:31:04.840 --> 02:31:07.780
that to happen. How do you? Yeah. You can't really.

02:31:08.530 --> 02:31:10.809
Yeah, because people are selfish. They want what

02:31:10.809 --> 02:31:12.850
they want in their life. And, you know, when

02:31:12.850 --> 02:31:14.469
Elon's like, oh, we're experiencing population

02:31:14.469 --> 02:31:16.850
collapse. They're like, so what? Not me. Bye.

02:31:17.190 --> 02:31:18.750
Right. I'm going to the movies with my friends.

02:31:18.969 --> 02:31:21.049
You know what I mean? Like, the idea of changing

02:31:21.049 --> 02:31:24.010
diapers. Like, I don't like her that much. Stick

02:31:24.010 --> 02:31:26.190
around with her for the next 18 years. Yeah,

02:31:26.209 --> 02:31:29.309
you also, when you have the ability to choose

02:31:29.309 --> 02:31:32.409
everyone at your fingertips, it's like Netflix.

02:31:32.450 --> 02:31:33.889
When you can watch everything, you watch nothing.

02:31:34.439 --> 02:31:36.340
So we can choose everyone. You can't, you don't

02:31:36.340 --> 02:31:38.559
commit to anything. Right. Yeah. It's just because

02:31:38.559 --> 02:31:40.559
everything's these sort of superfluous, like

02:31:40.559 --> 02:31:43.979
kind of deep relationships. I know a lot of people

02:31:43.979 --> 02:31:45.520
that have used the apps and then found someone

02:31:45.520 --> 02:31:47.920
and got off the apps. So there are people, but

02:31:47.920 --> 02:31:50.840
generally they're a little older, right? Yes.

02:31:50.840 --> 02:31:52.799
They're, they're like at a certain age, you sort

02:31:52.799 --> 02:31:56.389
of like. Look for that. But in your early 20s,

02:31:56.389 --> 02:31:58.309
when people were settling down in their 20s beforehand,

02:31:58.670 --> 02:32:00.790
it made sense. They were the only person around.

02:32:01.010 --> 02:32:04.969
But now you're in a city. It can be like in a

02:32:04.969 --> 02:32:06.709
big one in New York where there's an endless

02:32:06.709 --> 02:32:10.069
stream of people. There's no reason to make a

02:32:10.069 --> 02:32:13.750
choice if you don't want to. I saw a video of

02:32:13.750 --> 02:32:16.950
a lady who created an app where a man is allowed

02:32:16.950 --> 02:32:21.819
to pay for her preparation for the date. So the

02:32:21.819 --> 02:32:25.799
man sends her money so that she can get her nails

02:32:25.799 --> 02:32:28.739
done, get clothes for the day, all these different

02:32:28.739 --> 02:32:30.819
things for the day. And this lady set up this

02:32:30.819 --> 02:32:35.579
app. Damn. I'm like, it's kind of prostitution.

02:32:35.760 --> 02:32:38.629
I mean, it's sharp. I mean, it's kind of without

02:32:38.629 --> 02:32:41.270
the guarantee of sex. I know. It's weird. You're

02:32:41.270 --> 02:32:43.610
not just showing up. These are my clothes. I

02:32:43.610 --> 02:32:46.350
drove here in my car. I'm meeting a person. No,

02:32:46.469 --> 02:32:49.110
it's that person is paying me to prepare for

02:32:49.110 --> 02:32:51.930
our date. Right. And creating me into a person

02:32:51.930 --> 02:32:53.370
in his head. It's kind of dark. Well, you're

02:32:53.370 --> 02:32:55.690
going to get a very different kind of person

02:32:55.690 --> 02:32:57.270
that's going to meet you. You're going to get

02:32:57.270 --> 02:32:59.149
a kind of person that's willing to give you money

02:32:59.149 --> 02:33:02.629
immediately before he has any connection with

02:33:02.629 --> 02:33:04.569
you at all. Right. Like he might meet you and

02:33:04.569 --> 02:33:06.770
you're fucking super annoying. And he's like,

02:33:06.829 --> 02:33:08.510
God damn it. I gave that bitch a hundred bucks.

02:33:09.069 --> 02:33:11.170
That's so funny. That's Richard. Well, I think

02:33:11.170 --> 02:33:12.850
it was Richard Feynman. He was talking about

02:33:12.850 --> 02:33:14.469
getting girls because he was good at it. And

02:33:14.469 --> 02:33:15.909
he was like, yeah, I never paid for the drink

02:33:15.909 --> 02:33:19.010
on the first date. Wow. Never. Something like

02:33:19.010 --> 02:33:20.670
that. That seems kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

02:33:20.690 --> 02:33:22.489
yeah. That's not going to get a lot of quality

02:33:22.489 --> 02:33:24.290
women. Ah, well. Maybe it was back then. It was

02:33:24.290 --> 02:33:26.790
different. Yeah. And you're kind of famous. Yeah.

02:33:26.809 --> 02:33:30.129
In your world. Yeah. He's a. famous, brilliant

02:33:30.129 --> 02:33:32.469
guy. The scientists back then were all like rock

02:33:32.469 --> 02:33:34.209
stars. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They

02:33:34.209 --> 02:33:35.649
were all like just fucking everyone around them.

02:33:35.850 --> 02:33:37.770
Isn't that nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was

02:33:37.770 --> 02:33:39.909
normal. Just making the atomic bomb. Just fucking

02:33:39.909 --> 02:33:42.270
losing their minds. That was the crazy thing

02:33:42.270 --> 02:33:44.750
about the Oppenheimer thing, right? Oppenheimer

02:33:44.750 --> 02:33:47.239
was a freak. Good for him. He's just out there

02:33:47.239 --> 02:33:49.139
getting his fuck on. Yeah, fucking communist

02:33:49.139 --> 02:33:52.940
chicks. Yeah. They're probably fun. Oh, yeah.

02:33:53.000 --> 02:33:55.280
Especially back then, that's living dangerously.

02:33:55.600 --> 02:33:58.899
That's the same level of cum as the gay Republican

02:33:58.899 --> 02:34:02.639
senator. It's like, this is banned. Right, right,

02:34:02.680 --> 02:34:06.020
right. How many gay Republican senators do you

02:34:06.020 --> 02:34:09.299
think there are? I mean. Not zero. Yeah, for

02:34:09.299 --> 02:34:11.739
sure. In the closet, not zero. No, definitely

02:34:11.739 --> 02:34:13.819
not. It's usually, it is usually the ones that

02:34:13.819 --> 02:34:15.600
are like the most pro. Like anyone who's like

02:34:15.600 --> 02:34:18.440
still very pro anti -gay marriage now, like loudly,

02:34:18.540 --> 02:34:20.420
it's like, what's going on here? Or really into

02:34:20.420 --> 02:34:26.079
war. We got to get those Iraqis out of their

02:34:26.079 --> 02:34:31.219
homes. Oh yeah, the fucking, just so, just war

02:34:31.219 --> 02:34:33.319
hawks with Iran's going through it right now.

02:34:33.600 --> 02:34:34.959
What's going on right now? Yeah, you don't know

02:34:34.959 --> 02:34:36.000
what's happening in Iran? Well, I know about

02:34:36.000 --> 02:34:38.280
the protests, and I know about killing the protesters.

02:34:38.280 --> 02:34:40.719
Yeah, I mean, that's what, yeah. It seems like

02:34:40.719 --> 02:34:42.540
there's some sort of a strike that may be imminent,

02:34:42.719 --> 02:34:46.200
doesn't it? It feels like it. Like from us? Like

02:34:46.200 --> 02:34:48.620
the United States, yeah. I think the U .S. is

02:34:48.620 --> 02:34:50.760
kind of going to stay back for a little bit.

02:34:50.819 --> 02:34:52.739
You think so? A week in Iran is, they're weak

02:34:52.739 --> 02:34:55.239
right now because they're dealing with internal

02:34:55.239 --> 02:34:57.440
strife. It's kind of crazy to see how many people

02:34:57.440 --> 02:35:01.139
are on the streets. I mean. The average Iranian

02:35:01.139 --> 02:35:06.260
civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal since the

02:35:06.260 --> 02:35:09.700
50s, since we installed the Shah. Yeah. We installed

02:35:09.700 --> 02:35:12.319
the Shah, and then Khomeini comes and is like,

02:35:12.520 --> 02:35:14.920
hey, remember the democracy they stole from you?

02:35:14.959 --> 02:35:18.139
Because we had deposed an elected leader. Well,

02:35:18.239 --> 02:35:19.620
we'll bring it back. And they're like, okay.

02:35:19.760 --> 02:35:21.559
And then the clerics just took over and fucked

02:35:21.559 --> 02:35:24.180
them. And they've just been in a constant stream

02:35:24.180 --> 02:35:26.719
of like the average of any incident is just getting

02:35:26.719 --> 02:35:30.020
fucked by outside forces for so long. Well, it's

02:35:30.020 --> 02:35:32.120
all about the nationalization of their oil. Yep.

02:35:32.159 --> 02:35:34.100
They wanted to nationalize their oil. And we

02:35:34.100 --> 02:35:38.000
were like, no, player. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck

02:35:38.000 --> 02:35:39.280
that. You think you're going to have control

02:35:39.280 --> 02:35:41.780
over your own state? Get out of here. You heard

02:35:41.780 --> 02:35:45.000
Metzger's theory about Venezuela last night?

02:35:45.100 --> 02:35:48.940
No. He's like, he goes, I think, I think Maduro

02:35:48.940 --> 02:35:52.069
is secretly working for the CIA. He helped them

02:35:52.069 --> 02:35:55.530
arrest him, and then he is going to testify that

02:35:55.530 --> 02:35:58.520
the 2020 elections were rigged. Wow. If that

02:35:58.520 --> 02:36:02.120
comes true, what a Babe Ruth call. What a point

02:36:02.120 --> 02:36:04.819
to the sky that is. That's crazy. If that comes

02:36:04.819 --> 02:36:07.979
true, I'm buying you a car. Find a car you really

02:36:07.979 --> 02:36:10.139
like. We're going to get you a car. Yeah, that's

02:36:10.139 --> 02:36:12.100
crazy. You need an American muscle car. I'll

02:36:12.100 --> 02:36:14.139
get you a Mustang GT or something. But I will

02:36:14.139 --> 02:36:16.399
say this. When the Iranians protest, it's admirable

02:36:16.399 --> 02:36:18.360
because you know they're going to die. A lot

02:36:18.360 --> 02:36:20.360
of them have already died. They killed thousands

02:36:20.360 --> 02:36:22.000
of them. A lot of them died. And the same with

02:36:22.000 --> 02:36:24.299
the hijab protests where just women were disappearing

02:36:24.299 --> 02:36:26.500
for not wearing a hijab. It's like, damn, bro.

02:36:27.100 --> 02:36:30.540
That's how bad it got. They really, like, they've

02:36:30.540 --> 02:36:32.700
gotten a raw deal historically for the last half

02:36:32.700 --> 02:36:35.340
a century, and they're still fighting. Yeah,

02:36:35.340 --> 02:36:38.299
crazy. Yeah, I read, when I was a kid, I read

02:36:38.299 --> 02:36:40.200
this book called Persepolis. It's in my, like,

02:36:40.219 --> 02:36:43.180
greatest books of all time. But it's, I read

02:36:43.180 --> 02:36:45.559
Persepolis, and I was, like, maybe in high school,

02:36:45.700 --> 02:36:48.020
early, late middle school, and I just realized,

02:36:48.100 --> 02:36:51.209
like, oh, man, because you get. Especially at

02:36:51.209 --> 02:36:52.750
that time, we're fighting in the Middle East.

02:36:52.790 --> 02:36:54.729
You get bombarded with propaganda of what these

02:36:54.729 --> 02:36:56.270
people are like over there. And I'm reading Persepolis,

02:36:56.270 --> 02:36:57.489
and I'm like, oh, right, they're just people.

02:36:58.290 --> 02:37:00.129
She has this scene where she's just wanting to

02:37:00.129 --> 02:37:02.129
listen to music with her friends, but the Islamic

02:37:02.129 --> 02:37:06.750
police is like, we'll fucking fuck them up if

02:37:06.750 --> 02:37:08.389
they get caught. And they just have these secret

02:37:08.389 --> 02:37:09.610
parties where they're just listening to music.

02:37:09.989 --> 02:37:12.350
Secret listening to music parties that can wind

02:37:12.350 --> 02:37:16.569
you up in jail. Yeah, just regular things. What

02:37:16.569 --> 02:37:20.889
is this? Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina

02:37:20.889 --> 02:37:23.610
Machado insists that Maduro rigged the 2020 U

02:37:23.610 --> 02:37:26.290
.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other

02:37:26.290 --> 02:37:30.190
elections in the region. What? How? I saw that

02:37:30.190 --> 02:37:31.590
going around, too, so I don't know that Kurt's

02:37:31.590 --> 02:37:35.409
too crazy on that one. What? Yeah, this isn't

02:37:35.409 --> 02:37:36.590
even the first one. This is just how I'm showing

02:37:36.590 --> 02:37:39.809
you the data. How could Maduro rig United States

02:37:39.809 --> 02:37:43.610
elections? Yeah, where is that power coming from?

02:37:44.159 --> 02:37:45.920
All of a sudden, because if the power to rig

02:37:45.920 --> 02:37:47.500
election, you think he would be able to stop

02:37:47.500 --> 02:37:49.520
himself from getting arrested? This is from the

02:37:49.520 --> 02:37:56.260
Gray Zone. It says Hugo El Polo Carvajal is likely

02:37:56.260 --> 02:37:58.459
to serve as the star witness for the U .S. against

02:37:58.459 --> 02:38:02.000
Maduro. Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a

02:38:02.000 --> 02:38:05.159
coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to

02:38:05.159 --> 02:38:08.600
save himself. He's even indulging the Trump Trump's

02:38:08.600 --> 02:38:11.280
conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020

02:38:11.280 --> 02:38:17.409
U .S. election. What's the gray zone? I think

02:38:17.409 --> 02:38:19.530
that's Max Blumenthal's show. Okay, so that's

02:38:19.530 --> 02:38:22.809
like a source? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. He's legit.

02:38:23.010 --> 02:38:29.110
Okay. Yeah. Anti -war guy. So if he's saying

02:38:29.110 --> 02:38:32.850
that, maybe there's something to it. Damn. In

02:38:32.850 --> 02:38:36.319
what mechanism would Maduro be able to... That's

02:38:36.319 --> 02:38:38.540
what I'm saying. To do an election. Okay, let's

02:38:38.540 --> 02:38:40.540
find that out. How do they think Maduro had a

02:38:40.540 --> 02:38:42.360
hand in rigging the 2020 election? What's the

02:38:42.360 --> 02:38:46.719
conspiracy? Yeah, was it like he helped with

02:38:46.719 --> 02:38:48.899
the mail -in votes? Right. Because that's the

02:38:48.899 --> 02:38:50.239
only way you could steal that election, right?

02:38:50.420 --> 02:38:53.139
Like, Venezuela's pretty far away. Here's a tweet

02:38:53.139 --> 02:38:56.329
from before the election even happened. Nicolas

02:38:56.329 --> 02:38:59.010
Maduro's campaign manager, this is from 2024,

02:38:59.469 --> 02:39:02.149
just went on national TV to declare victory despite

02:39:02.149 --> 02:39:05.170
exit polls showing a historic loss for their

02:39:05.170 --> 02:39:08.989
socialist regime. They're setting up to commit

02:39:08.989 --> 02:39:11.790
a bigger election theft in the 2020 election

02:39:11.790 --> 02:39:15.750
in the United States. No, that's just someone's

02:39:15.750 --> 02:39:17.409
opinion. Yeah, how does that add up? That they're

02:39:17.409 --> 02:39:19.090
stealing the election in Venezuela. Yeah, because

02:39:19.090 --> 02:39:21.569
they stole it in Venezuela? But they did steal

02:39:21.569 --> 02:39:24.719
it in Venezuela. Yeah, that's for sure. What

02:39:24.719 --> 02:39:31.059
does it say? It says he did clearly stole Venezuela's

02:39:31.059 --> 02:39:33.959
election, threatened bloodshed if he lost, restricted,

02:39:34.260 --> 02:39:39.379
what is that, intel? International observers.

02:39:41.260 --> 02:39:45.620
Blocked transmission of results. Yeah, that definitely

02:39:45.620 --> 02:39:47.600
happened. I mean, it was very telling how happy

02:39:47.600 --> 02:39:50.700
the Venezuelans in America were when he was gone.

02:39:50.940 --> 02:39:56.399
That was a genuine thing. very very pleased about

02:39:56.399 --> 02:39:59.399
that yeah and then you had people you had like

02:39:59.399 --> 02:40:02.719
white leftists be like this is bad yeah yeah

02:40:02.719 --> 02:40:04.879
you're supporting a dictator it's like in the

02:40:04.879 --> 02:40:07.260
way they did it was so unprecedented going and

02:40:07.260 --> 02:40:09.819
stormed the fucking castle and steal the guy

02:40:09.819 --> 02:40:12.959
yeah kind of shows the power like it kind of

02:40:12.959 --> 02:40:14.680
tells also the other countries like hey back

02:40:14.680 --> 02:40:17.250
off Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if

02:40:17.250 --> 02:40:20.709
it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound

02:40:20.709 --> 02:40:22.750
weapon, whatever it did that literally makes

02:40:22.750 --> 02:40:25.790
your organs bubble. Everybody falls to the ground.

02:40:25.829 --> 02:40:28.129
They're writhing in pain and agony, and then

02:40:28.129 --> 02:40:30.750
they just stormed in, and everybody was incapacitated.

02:40:31.129 --> 02:40:33.690
Damn. Stormed in, fucked everybody up, and that

02:40:33.690 --> 02:40:35.969
was a wrap. Well, if that's what war is becoming,

02:40:36.170 --> 02:40:39.030
that's kind of better. It's kind of crazy. That's

02:40:39.030 --> 02:40:41.770
kind of better than ground troops and nonstop

02:40:41.770 --> 02:40:45.959
fighting and 20 years in Afghanistan. OK, here's

02:40:45.959 --> 02:40:49.659
lawyer Sidney Powell in 2020 talking about Maduro

02:40:49.659 --> 02:40:52.860
having access to voting fraud technology. Maduro

02:40:52.860 --> 02:40:54.799
is going to sing like a canary and the Democrats

02:40:54.799 --> 02:40:57.200
are screwed. No wonder why. OK. Is that lady

02:40:57.200 --> 02:41:03.680
even real? That looks like the person tweeting

02:41:03.680 --> 02:41:08.000
this. See, this reeks of bot to me. Follow me

02:41:08.000 --> 02:41:13.700
for breaking news. What do you know? Or just

02:41:13.700 --> 02:41:17.180
guy account clearly just making stuff up. See

02:41:17.180 --> 02:41:19.799
if you can find an account of how they did it.

02:41:19.879 --> 02:41:22.120
Because there's an account by someone who is

02:41:22.120 --> 02:41:24.930
a witness. That was there at the scene that said

02:41:24.930 --> 02:41:27.549
how fucking crazy it was. These guys came out

02:41:27.549 --> 02:41:29.329
of nowhere. The helicopters came out of nowhere.

02:41:29.610 --> 02:41:32.389
The drones, they shut down all the radar. Everything

02:41:32.389 --> 02:41:34.389
got shut down. And then all of a sudden there's

02:41:34.389 --> 02:41:37.670
drones flying everywhere and helicopters. And

02:41:37.670 --> 02:41:41.489
these dudes, 20 guys, killed, you know, who knows

02:41:41.489 --> 02:41:44.200
how many fucking humans. Right. No one got. killed

02:41:44.200 --> 02:41:46.200
on the american side they captured him and his

02:41:46.200 --> 02:41:49.319
wife stuffed him back in the helicopter and they

02:41:49.319 --> 02:41:51.100
were in and out in 10 minutes 10 minutes yeah

02:41:51.100 --> 02:41:53.520
there's there's that there's a very famous video

02:41:53.520 --> 02:41:55.620
of a twitch streamer in venezuela just out in

02:41:55.620 --> 02:41:59.620
the streets and then everything just really yeah

02:41:59.620 --> 02:42:03.879
whoa yeah it just goes dark that's crazy damn

02:42:03.879 --> 02:42:06.360
that's crazy and yeah you can and you're a human

02:42:06.360 --> 02:42:08.479
you can tell like oh something's up This is not

02:42:08.479 --> 02:42:10.319
a normal, everything, like all the street lights,

02:42:10.379 --> 02:42:12.000
it went just dark. Well, it's crazy because we

02:42:12.000 --> 02:42:14.479
knew they had some really wild technology, but

02:42:14.479 --> 02:42:17.340
we didn't know what they were capable of until

02:42:17.340 --> 02:42:19.979
we've seen this. And we're like, oh. What's really

02:42:19.979 --> 02:42:22.219
interesting is my friend Evan Hafer was talking

02:42:22.219 --> 02:42:26.049
about that. like a year ago on the podcast, he

02:42:26.049 --> 02:42:27.629
was talking about it, maybe less than a year.

02:42:27.709 --> 02:42:31.030
He was like, if we go to war with the cartels,

02:42:31.030 --> 02:42:35.850
like they have no idea what kind of ultra violence

02:42:35.850 --> 02:42:38.569
they're in for. He's like the shit that these

02:42:38.569 --> 02:42:39.809
guys are going to do when they get, when they

02:42:39.809 --> 02:42:43.069
go plan this out, they had a, they built a replica

02:42:43.069 --> 02:42:45.829
of his house and they went through it blindfolded.

02:42:46.610 --> 02:42:49.590
Yeah. So they know exactly where every turn is,

02:42:49.629 --> 02:42:53.379
where to go. They war -planned this for a long

02:42:53.379 --> 02:42:55.819
time. The live streamer thing was a false story.

02:42:55.840 --> 02:42:58.700
Oh, it was false? Which one? Oh, the live stream

02:42:58.700 --> 02:43:00.860
going out? Yeah. Right, but find the account

02:43:00.860 --> 02:43:03.819
of the witness. I stumbled across that on the

02:43:03.819 --> 02:43:07.020
way to it. Okay. The account of the guy who said

02:43:07.020 --> 02:43:10.100
he was there, if it's accurate, is crazy. Because

02:43:10.100 --> 02:43:13.540
he basically said they just incapacitated everyone

02:43:13.540 --> 02:43:15.459
and then just went in and murdered everybody

02:43:15.459 --> 02:43:19.459
and pulled out Maduro. No one could move. You

02:43:19.459 --> 02:43:21.520
can't do anything. And then these guys land in

02:43:21.520 --> 02:43:23.379
helicopters, and everyone's writhing in agony,

02:43:23.479 --> 02:43:25.959
like, dun -dun -dun -dun -dun, just running through.

02:43:26.940 --> 02:43:30.059
Whacked everybody. No one got shot back at. Crazy.

02:43:30.620 --> 02:43:32.760
Yeah, but I think that's what warfare, outside

02:43:32.760 --> 02:43:34.280
of what's happening in Russia and Ukraine, that's

02:43:34.280 --> 02:43:36.600
kind of what warfare is now, right? Like, oh,

02:43:36.639 --> 02:43:39.559
is Israel going to go to war with Iran? We'll

02:43:39.559 --> 02:43:41.959
just quickly just take out all their generals

02:43:41.959 --> 02:43:45.059
real quick. And the threat of war is done. You're

02:43:45.059 --> 02:43:48.020
dealing with Venezuela versus the United States

02:43:48.020 --> 02:43:50.239
of America. Right. But if it was the United States

02:43:50.239 --> 02:43:52.379
of America versus Russia. Or China, it would

02:43:52.379 --> 02:43:54.299
be a lot different. It's a lot more fucked up.

02:43:54.440 --> 02:43:57.020
Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs. That's

02:43:57.020 --> 02:43:59.000
why you can get away with shit like this. Right,

02:43:59.000 --> 02:44:02.940
right. Yeah, that's a fair point. That is part

02:44:02.940 --> 02:44:05.500
of the thing, you know. And then it's like the

02:44:05.500 --> 02:44:07.819
whole thing is so transparent. Trump's like immediately,

02:44:08.059 --> 02:44:10.059
we're going to take the oil. There's plenty of

02:44:10.059 --> 02:44:13.059
oil. Oh, yeah. Working on a deal. Yeah, I don't

02:44:13.059 --> 02:44:14.299
think it was a coincidence that all of a sudden

02:44:14.299 --> 02:44:19.219
I had gas under $2 last week in the gas station

02:44:19.219 --> 02:44:20.459
across the street. I was like, huh, I wonder

02:44:20.459 --> 02:44:22.260
if that's Venezuela related. Not in California.

02:44:23.210 --> 02:44:26.329
California gas companies are pulling out. Valero

02:44:26.329 --> 02:44:28.969
pulled out of California. It's going to cost

02:44:28.969 --> 02:44:33.090
them $1 billion. And they're like, eh, rather

02:44:33.090 --> 02:44:36.969
leave. Fuck you. Well, yeah, the cost of living

02:44:36.969 --> 02:44:40.610
there is so high, too. When we talk about young

02:44:40.610 --> 02:44:44.239
comics, it's like... What you have in Austin

02:44:44.239 --> 02:44:48.940
is at least a much cheaper quality of life. And

02:44:48.940 --> 02:44:50.799
better. And better, yeah, where you have space.

02:44:51.700 --> 02:44:54.000
Things are more expensive than anywhere else

02:44:54.000 --> 02:44:55.959
in Texas probably for sure, but it's still like

02:44:55.959 --> 02:45:01.200
gas was under $2. Rent is stabilizing. It's going

02:45:01.200 --> 02:45:03.340
down. It's going to go down. I think a lot of

02:45:03.340 --> 02:45:05.340
California and New York developers came in here,

02:45:05.440 --> 02:45:07.180
and they were like, Austin's where people are,

02:45:07.260 --> 02:45:09.260
so we can just build a lot. But in New York and

02:45:09.260 --> 02:45:10.760
California, you have a finite amount of space.

02:45:11.889 --> 02:45:14.610
And also you can just build out, and once you

02:45:14.610 --> 02:45:17.069
build out, like the rent at my place went down

02:45:17.069 --> 02:45:18.190
because people were like, oh, I'll just buy a

02:45:18.190 --> 02:45:20.110
house out there. Right. And no one's living in

02:45:20.110 --> 02:45:23.489
the apartment complex. If you live in Dripping

02:45:23.489 --> 02:45:25.510
Springs, it's way cheaper, and it's only 30 minutes

02:45:25.510 --> 02:45:27.030
away. Yeah, exactly. Everywhere in the country,

02:45:27.149 --> 02:45:29.989
30 -minute commute is normal. Right. Right, yeah,

02:45:30.069 --> 02:45:32.829
it's normal. Here, what's nice about here is

02:45:32.829 --> 02:45:34.149
you'll see something that's 15 minutes, it'll

02:45:34.149 --> 02:45:35.930
be 15 miles. You'll be like, oh, that's normal.

02:45:36.729 --> 02:45:39.829
That's normal. Elliot, that's an hour. Yeah,

02:45:39.909 --> 02:45:41.889
it was an hour and a half. No, it was almost

02:45:41.889 --> 02:45:44.909
two hours. I went from Redondo Beach to fucking

02:45:44.909 --> 02:45:47.590
Burbank after a podcast at 5. And I was like,

02:45:47.610 --> 02:45:49.590
oh, I should have just killed myself. That would

02:45:49.590 --> 02:45:52.610
have been a more effective use of my time. Locked

02:45:52.610 --> 02:45:54.989
up. Yeah, yeah. When the 4 or 5 or the 5 gets

02:45:54.989 --> 02:45:57.350
locked up, it's depressing. Oh, it's hell. That

02:45:57.350 --> 02:45:59.250
trip down to San Diego, if you want to do the

02:45:59.250 --> 02:46:00.930
La Jolla store. You got to leave early. You got

02:46:00.930 --> 02:46:03.469
to leave at noon. Leave at noon. Because that

02:46:03.469 --> 02:46:05.649
means you'll be down in San Diego right around

02:46:05.649 --> 02:46:09.590
the time rush hour starts. Yeah, yeah. Crazy.

02:46:09.729 --> 02:46:13.850
Yeah, it's just a cheaper place for a young comic

02:46:13.850 --> 02:46:17.290
who, if it's time to move to a place, it's like

02:46:17.290 --> 02:46:20.709
Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality

02:46:20.709 --> 02:46:23.430
stage time as well. It's also just a better vibe.

02:46:23.569 --> 02:46:26.649
There's less tension. There's less people. Yes,

02:46:26.709 --> 02:46:29.950
yes. I feel like there are times where I would

02:46:29.950 --> 02:46:32.590
take a day off in L .A. and I feel like I'm falling

02:46:32.590 --> 02:46:35.010
behind because everyone around you is so frantic.

02:46:35.479 --> 02:46:37.559
And here it's like, oh, I can breathe. I can

02:46:37.559 --> 02:46:40.059
actually just enjoy this day off, which is important.

02:46:40.659 --> 02:46:42.680
You've got to have some kind of balance. You

02:46:42.680 --> 02:46:45.159
want to be a little bit frantic, but then you've

02:46:45.159 --> 02:46:47.500
got to achieve some balance and let your brain

02:46:47.500 --> 02:46:51.500
sort of recalibrate, come back on, just get a

02:46:51.500 --> 02:46:55.479
new perspective. Yeah, rest is so – this grind

02:46:55.479 --> 02:46:58.200
culture. Before we get into this, though, same

02:46:58.200 --> 02:47:00.520
kind of thing. I'll check the account. Fucked

02:47:00.520 --> 02:47:03.850
up account. main proponent for the drive to recall

02:47:03.850 --> 02:47:05.870
Gavin Newsom, California needs to rebuild the

02:47:05.870 --> 02:47:07.950
better. So it might be a fake person. And then

02:47:07.950 --> 02:47:11.290
there's no, there's no evidence to like a link

02:47:11.290 --> 02:47:13.709
or where they got the information from, which

02:47:13.709 --> 02:47:15.389
is why I just checked first, but they, they just

02:47:15.389 --> 02:47:17.149
have a long story here. It just says interview

02:47:17.149 --> 02:47:19.389
security guard. So it could be total propaganda,

02:47:19.489 --> 02:47:21.569
right? Yeah. Made up for me. You know, you could

02:47:21.569 --> 02:47:24.270
ask AI to make up a story. Right. I need a good

02:47:24.270 --> 02:47:26.389
story to put on Twitter. Right. And then, yeah,

02:47:26.409 --> 02:47:28.270
just... Have you tried to find it anywhere else?

02:47:28.270 --> 02:47:30.430
Is it only from this one guy? Yeah, that's what

02:47:30.430 --> 02:47:33.270
I was finding. It was Caroline Leavitt shared

02:47:33.270 --> 02:47:36.389
it, and this is the... That's the main account

02:47:36.389 --> 02:47:38.309
where she shared it from? Stop what you're doing

02:47:38.309 --> 02:47:42.389
and read this. Nah. I Googled that, and she said

02:47:42.389 --> 02:47:45.489
that a ton of times. How long has Caroline Leavitt

02:47:45.489 --> 02:47:47.450
been the press secretary this whole time? Aren't

02:47:47.450 --> 02:47:49.250
they... How quickly do they move past those?

02:47:49.869 --> 02:47:52.190
They usually last about two years except for

02:47:52.190 --> 02:47:53.469
that last lady. Except for the last one, yeah.

02:47:53.610 --> 02:47:55.450
I wonder if that set a precedent. She decided

02:47:55.450 --> 02:47:57.090
to hang in there to the bitter end. They were

02:47:57.090 --> 02:47:59.350
trying to get rid of her. She sucked. St. Pierre,

02:47:59.469 --> 02:48:01.090
right? Yeah, whatever her name was. It wasn't

02:48:01.090 --> 02:48:02.489
St. Pierre. It wasn't St. Pierre. I thought it

02:48:02.489 --> 02:48:04.950
was something like that. Karine Jean -Pierre.

02:48:04.950 --> 02:48:06.790
Okay, it was something Pierre. It was something

02:48:06.790 --> 02:48:09.069
Pierre, yeah, yeah. Bro, she was terrible. She

02:48:09.069 --> 02:48:11.350
did it forever. And again, the president is committed.

02:48:12.010 --> 02:48:13.729
The president, like she would do like the Obama

02:48:13.729 --> 02:48:16.510
thing with her fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get

02:48:16.510 --> 02:48:18.969
the fuck out of here. They just try. She had

02:48:18.969 --> 02:48:21.729
to lie all the time. Like that's her job. Dead

02:48:21.729 --> 02:48:24.790
person. Yeah. Yeah, that's hard to do. That's

02:48:24.790 --> 02:48:27.430
pretty like, you know, you have to keep juggling

02:48:27.430 --> 02:48:28.909
a lot to be like, oh, this dead person is still

02:48:28.909 --> 02:48:30.809
alive. I thought he was going to die like immediately

02:48:30.809 --> 02:48:32.950
after he left office. I'm like, he's going to

02:48:32.950 --> 02:48:35.290
die soon, like real soon. Yeah, it's kind of

02:48:35.290 --> 02:48:37.139
wild he's kept going. But every now and then

02:48:37.139 --> 02:48:39.079
they'll trot him out and he'll start talking.

02:48:39.079 --> 02:48:40.659
He'll be at an Eagles game. He'll be like, yeah,

02:48:40.719 --> 02:48:42.799
you know what's going on. But every now and then

02:48:42.799 --> 02:48:47.280
he'll talk. They still let him talk. There's

02:48:47.280 --> 02:48:49.479
been a few of those where he'll talk like, thank

02:48:49.479 --> 02:48:53.260
God you didn't win. Jesus Christ. If you came

02:48:53.260 --> 02:48:56.020
back, if they never replaced Kamala with you

02:48:56.020 --> 02:48:59.840
and you won or you and Kamala and you won and

02:48:59.840 --> 02:49:03.360
you're this guy now. Well, yeah. Well, he fucked

02:49:03.360 --> 02:49:07.680
them by not bowing out. Yeah. Yeah, it's like,

02:49:07.739 --> 02:49:10.940
at least let them have a primary. Because then

02:49:10.940 --> 02:49:12.819
it just became Kamala versus Trump and the whole,

02:49:12.899 --> 02:49:15.040
like, oh, vote for me to fight fascism. But no

02:49:15.040 --> 02:49:16.520
one voted for you in the first place. The thing

02:49:16.520 --> 02:49:18.340
is, if they had a primary, who do you think would

02:49:18.340 --> 02:49:20.899
have been it? They probably would have made her.

02:49:21.799 --> 02:49:24.540
The Democrats would have decided on her anyway,

02:49:24.639 --> 02:49:25.860
I think. Because it would have been too soon

02:49:25.860 --> 02:49:27.500
for Newsom to run. He still has that stink of

02:49:27.500 --> 02:49:29.520
COVID on him. So that's why he waited for this

02:49:29.520 --> 02:49:31.500
go around. Yeah, it's been enough. People have

02:49:31.500 --> 02:49:34.340
forgotten COVID enough. It's been half a decade

02:49:34.340 --> 02:49:39.659
since. People's political memories are so short

02:49:39.659 --> 02:49:43.780
that, yeah, 2028, that's so far away from COVID

02:49:43.780 --> 02:49:46.540
that he can just be like, yeah, I did fine or

02:49:46.540 --> 02:49:48.819
whatever the fuck. Do you think so? I think so.

02:49:49.680 --> 02:49:52.440
Enough to run, enough to probably get the nomination.

02:49:52.879 --> 02:49:54.579
You think he's going to get the nomination? Who

02:49:54.579 --> 02:49:57.469
else? I feel like someone else can rise over

02:49:57.469 --> 02:50:00.930
the next three years. If it had been an Obama

02:50:00.930 --> 02:50:02.569
thing, it would be like someone would be rising

02:50:02.569 --> 02:50:04.610
in this upcoming midterm. So if there's someone

02:50:04.610 --> 02:50:08.729
like that, maybe. All it takes is someone who's

02:50:08.729 --> 02:50:11.239
a compelling speaker who's not. demonstrably

02:50:11.239 --> 02:50:13.299
full of shit. Because the thing about him is

02:50:13.299 --> 02:50:15.739
he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate. When

02:50:15.739 --> 02:50:17.180
someone starts talking about the fraud and waste

02:50:17.180 --> 02:50:18.860
in California, how about the high -speed rail?

02:50:19.020 --> 02:50:20.799
They spent billions of dollars on this fucking

02:50:20.799 --> 02:50:24.079
nothing. Like, soon, we're going to get it done

02:50:24.079 --> 02:50:28.000
soon. There's so much fraud. So much waste. Yeah,

02:50:28.059 --> 02:50:30.020
but I don't think they have anything. Because

02:50:30.020 --> 02:50:32.379
you can, right now, all you can, you can just

02:50:32.379 --> 02:50:35.379
run on, like, I'm not Trump. And that'll be enough

02:50:35.379 --> 02:50:37.059
to get people to be like, yeah, he's not Trump.

02:50:37.159 --> 02:50:38.979
What about that Josh Shapiro guy, the guy who's

02:50:38.979 --> 02:50:42.920
governor of Pennsylvania? Maybe. I don't know.

02:50:42.940 --> 02:50:46.920
To me, it's just like a popularity contest, and

02:50:46.920 --> 02:50:48.520
he's making a lot of noise. A lot of people are

02:50:48.520 --> 02:50:50.739
upset at the Jews right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:50:50.879 --> 02:50:54.200
Yeah, that's a fair point. Yeah. Shapiro? Hmm.

02:50:54.659 --> 02:50:57.739
It just seems like. Hmm. Yeah. That's a good

02:50:57.739 --> 02:51:00.440
point. It just seems like he's the one making

02:51:00.440 --> 02:51:03.700
the most noise and we're getting towards crunch

02:51:03.700 --> 02:51:06.639
time. Not really, but like it's the closer we

02:51:06.639 --> 02:51:08.360
get to the midterms and there's no other big

02:51:08.360 --> 02:51:11.420
voice. It makes me feel like it's going to be

02:51:11.420 --> 02:51:14.280
him. Well, clearly he wants to do it. He definitely

02:51:14.280 --> 02:51:17.440
wants to do it. Yeah. And he might just be powerful

02:51:17.440 --> 02:51:19.579
politically enough to win that nomination. Imagine

02:51:19.579 --> 02:51:22.479
if that guy fucks up San Francisco, fucks up

02:51:22.479 --> 02:51:24.659
California, and then goes on to fuck up the whole

02:51:24.659 --> 02:51:28.370
country. Oh, it's very possible. Maybe not very

02:51:28.370 --> 02:51:32.409
possible, but I think it's an outcome. It's an

02:51:32.409 --> 02:51:33.709
outcome. He's definitely running. It's going

02:51:33.709 --> 02:51:36.129
to be – I don't know what that ticket's going

02:51:36.129 --> 02:51:38.649
to be, but – They're going to make us all trans.

02:51:38.850 --> 02:51:41.450
Yeah, it's going to be like a Newsom Crockett.

02:51:41.469 --> 02:51:43.049
That's my early call of what they're going to

02:51:43.049 --> 02:51:45.350
try to run. No, shut the fuck up. Are you kidding?

02:51:45.569 --> 02:51:47.989
Yeah, yeah, I think so. Really? Yeah, yeah, I

02:51:47.989 --> 02:51:49.569
think that's who they're – because she's very

02:51:49.569 --> 02:51:53.940
revered. Not AOC? Maybe AOC. I think AOC is more

02:51:53.940 --> 02:51:56.639
reasonable. AOC is much more reasonable. For

02:51:56.639 --> 02:51:58.059
sure. Have you ever seen when Crockett and Marjorie

02:51:58.059 --> 02:52:00.120
Taylor Greene start going back and forth with

02:52:00.120 --> 02:52:01.700
each other, insulting each other and yelling

02:52:01.700 --> 02:52:04.360
at each other? No. Oh, yeah, I did. I did see

02:52:04.360 --> 02:52:10.079
that. That's a very fun moment. Nobody wants

02:52:10.079 --> 02:52:11.979
to be a representative. That's the thing. It's

02:52:11.979 --> 02:52:14.600
like all these successful business people and

02:52:14.600 --> 02:52:16.979
academics, like they don't want to do that. No,

02:52:17.020 --> 02:52:19.620
it's all like lawyers and like, yeah. And creeps.

02:52:19.620 --> 02:52:21.719
And creeps. Yeah, that's the only. Well, it's

02:52:21.719 --> 02:52:23.850
like it's one of those things where. You're right.

02:52:23.889 --> 02:52:25.750
The person who wants to do it probably isn't,

02:52:25.750 --> 02:52:27.110
or person who should do it probably isn't going

02:52:27.110 --> 02:52:29.389
to want to do it. 100%. Because you do have to

02:52:29.389 --> 02:52:31.450
make decisions that negatively affect millions

02:52:31.450 --> 02:52:34.010
of people's lives sometimes. And you got to grease

02:52:34.010 --> 02:52:37.229
the pockets of your donors. Yeah. And to be like

02:52:37.229 --> 02:52:40.110
a regular guy and want to do that was probably

02:52:40.110 --> 02:52:44.549
would tear you apart. To be like, ah, here's

02:52:44.549 --> 02:52:45.950
a decision that'll kill people. You got to be

02:52:45.950 --> 02:52:47.930
kind of a sociopath. What's really fucked is

02:52:47.930 --> 02:52:50.489
how much of an impact people like us have on

02:52:50.489 --> 02:52:53.379
elections now. That's what's nuts. Like, podcasters

02:52:53.379 --> 02:52:56.840
have a big impact on elections now. Which is

02:52:56.840 --> 02:52:58.700
really weird. That's how much the mainstream

02:52:58.700 --> 02:53:01.260
media has kind of lost its lead. Dropped the

02:53:01.260 --> 02:53:03.379
ball. Dropped the ball hardcore. Well, it's just

02:53:03.379 --> 02:53:06.340
by being unreliable. Like, being people that

02:53:06.340 --> 02:53:08.819
you can't trust. And uncensored conversation

02:53:08.819 --> 02:53:10.819
is like, people are going to trust that more.

02:53:10.920 --> 02:53:12.680
Because this is how people talk to their friends

02:53:12.680 --> 02:53:15.020
more often than not. Yeah. Than like, oh, I can't

02:53:15.020 --> 02:53:16.700
say this because this sponsor is going to be

02:53:16.700 --> 02:53:20.790
mad at me. Right. This is just a much more accessible

02:53:20.790 --> 02:53:23.829
way of finding out people's real thoughts. And

02:53:23.829 --> 02:53:27.510
a lot of it is just how we talk. There's been

02:53:27.510 --> 02:53:29.170
so many times we've been in the green room that

02:53:29.170 --> 02:53:32.049
totally could have been a podcast. Right. Just

02:53:32.049 --> 02:53:34.190
put a camera on it, live in the green room. It

02:53:34.190 --> 02:53:36.129
would fuck up the vibe. But it would be a great

02:53:36.129 --> 02:53:38.149
podcast. Yeah, it would. It would fuck up the

02:53:38.149 --> 02:53:40.370
vibe. Yeah, it would lose that quality that would

02:53:40.370 --> 02:53:42.290
make it a good podcast if we were trying to actually

02:53:42.290 --> 02:53:45.850
podcast. Yeah, definitely. All right, brother.

02:53:45.989 --> 02:53:47.489
Well, I'll see you tonight. I'll see you tonight.

02:53:47.610 --> 02:53:49.750
And tell everybody your special. It's out. It's

02:53:49.750 --> 02:53:51.430
on YouTube. It's on YouTube. It's called Too

02:53:51.430 --> 02:53:54.629
Soon. Check it out. I'm very proud of this material.

02:53:54.850 --> 02:53:56.729
It's great material, man. And you've been killing

02:53:56.729 --> 02:53:58.209
it. You've been killing it at the club. And the

02:53:58.209 --> 02:53:59.989
new stuff's fantastic, too. Thank you. And yeah,

02:54:00.069 --> 02:54:01.909
go to Asana. Look at that hair. Look at that

02:54:01.909 --> 02:54:03.950
hair. Every time I've been on here, I've had

02:54:03.950 --> 02:54:08.209
different hair. Today I went cornrows. Yeah.

02:54:08.690 --> 02:54:10.309
You've had the cornrows for a while now, right?

02:54:10.569 --> 02:54:12.850
Just a week or so. I did it for a sketch, and

02:54:12.850 --> 02:54:15.459
then I was like... I kind of like this. Yeah,

02:54:15.579 --> 02:54:18.180
it's crazy for this hairline to have cornrows.

02:54:18.319 --> 02:54:20.139
All right, my brother. Appreciate you. See you

02:54:20.139 --> 02:54:21.379
tonight. See you tonight. Bye, everybody.