Welcome to this curated educational transcript of the Joe Rogan Experience. In this session, we provide a deep-dive examination of the critical perspectives and historical dialogues presented in Episode #2442. Our mission is to offer a high-fidelity, searchable research resource for students of cultural history, emerging technology, and global discourse. This transcript has been specifically optimized for academic reference, linguistic study, and archival preservation regarding Cross-Cultural Dynamics, Immigrant Experiences in Media, and Modern Satire in 2026 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan
Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by
night, all day. Hey, fella. What's going on,
brother? Good to be back, Joe. Good to see you,
as always. This time I have something to actually
promote. Well, you're always promoting, so I
mean... Any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion.
Right. You're promoting the audience gets to
see you. Right. Right? Right. It was so funny
because it got me thinking. So I started watching
Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances because
there's a list of them on Spotify. And what was
so funny to me was like, you know how they have
these group of mentally disabled people that
they kind of fuck with? Obi and Anthony? Yeah.
Yeah. Like a carousel. It's like kind of mean.
It's kind of horrible. Yeah. It's kind of like,
ooh, I'm kind of glad we're past that. But what
made me laugh is every single one of them at
the end of the thing was like, and here's my
website. I had a website. And I was like, damn,
I've been on the Joe Rogan Experience twice and
I don't even have a website. You didn't have
a website? I didn't have a website. This is the
first time I had a website. Wow. What did you
do? Did you make it yourself? No, I realize like,
oh, I got to pay people to do stuff like that.
That's out of my wheelhouse of like things I
can do. Ironically, I'm terrible with technology
for a guy who looks like me. There's some things
you could do like Squarespace has a great setup.
It's pretty easy to do. Yeah, but that's I think
that's just pure. It's like pure laziness on
my end for sure. And a little bit like I spend
so much time on my like my brain space. And this
is dedicated to my jokes. I kind of shut out
everything else. It's a fun time to be alive.
One of the things that's really exciting about
The Mothership is for someone like me who's been
doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting
to watch people's careers launch. You know, like
see guys like Cam Patterson go from getting a
spot on Kill Tony to being a regular on Kill
Tony to being on fucking Saturday Night Live.
Boom. It's crazy. Some of them, like Christina
Mariani now just sells out rooms at the comedy
store all the time. She's killing it. And then
you have Peyton Ruddy and Dylan Carlino. These
are just guys who were just at the club and just
made a way social media -wise. And you get to
see people get just tighter and better, like
McCusker's new set, like what he did last night.
really fucking good, man. Super solid. Really
fun. It's just like, we got a good thing, man.
It's a good thing. Yeah, it's just a fun place
to be around. Everyone just working jokes. That's
what it is, really. It's so funny. There is such
this narrative outside of the ship about what
Austin comedy is. And it's really just a bunch
of people just doing jokes. The narrative is
only with jealous people. It's not... based on
any reality it's not based on people go there
and hang out right well it's it's it's always
these people who love to talk about austin but
they don't talk to anyone in austin it's like
there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out
and talk to you i think i've told you this before
but i have a friend of mine who's you know somewhat
of a philosopher an online friend i don't even
know what he looks like we've been going back
and forth for years but he warned me about this
a long time ago he said you've created a walled
garden and he goes and you've got all these friends
and you're all supporting each other and you're
all having fun but there's a lot of people that
feel on the outside And they feel like left out
of it. And so they're like, fuck those people.
That party sucks. You know, it's kind of along
those lines. And, you know, if you could find
some connections to other negative things, you
know, like me and Tony, we have this connection
to Trump and so does Shane. And, you know, there's
all sorts of that. Oh, fucking, you got to be
a right winger to be. And then the narrative
comes up. Oh, you got to tell jokes about fucking
trans people. You have to. Yeah. You can't be
a liberal. You can't be this. He can't be like
well well that the the whole the whole like you
have to be a right winger That's like to me That's
like massive projection because there are these
spaces where like if you're a right winger in
comedy like the there's like leftist spaces That
you just can't be in for sure you'll get pushed
out right you'll get you'll get treated badly
more importantly whereas at the mothership like
that fucking green room like 80 % of the time
it's mostly like progressive people yeah oh and
then a lot of people most of the people who work
there are mostly left -wing yeah yeah it's a
place where it's a place where but because right
-wing people i guess are allowed to be here or
like also allowed to be here it's it's all of
a sudden this right wing nazi haven well it's
also it's like what does that even mean right
like what is right wing like because you don't
think that that candidate and what they were
doing by like storming the fucking gates with
illegal immigrants. You don't think that was
a good idea? You don't think, like, rampant spending,
completely unchecked with no documentation, like
what's going on in California? You don't think?
You don't think that's a bad thing? What Tim
Walz is doing. There's so much of it, man. But
then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is doing,
like fucking shooting that lady seems kind of
crazy. You know, like grabbing people that happen
to be American citizens and fucking dragging
them out onto the snow and asking them for their
papers. That seems kind of fucking crazy too.
Yeah, that seems insane. But it's also like they
have a crazy job. Like imagine you're an ICE
agent. Just imagine what happened. Okay. So we
tried – we used our sponsor Perplexity the other
day and tried to figure out through AI what the
exact number is. But when you deep dive, you
realize they don't know the number. They really
have like an estimate of interactions with illegal
immigrants. And it's somewhere around 11 million
for four years, which is fucking wild. That's
10 Austins. OK. Yeah. At least. Yeah. Of illegal
immigrants were allowed to get in this country,
aided to get in this country and then moved to
states. They moved them. They flew them out to
certain swing states. But this is all Mike Benz
has documented all this stuff. There's all you
can see. They gave him EBT cards like. So imagine.
You can imagine two things. One, imagine you're
one of those people. You're like, dude, they're
asking me to come. This is awesome. Now I'm in
America. I'm going to get a good job. I'm going
to be able to support my family. And then all
of a sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof
vests looking for you on the streets. Yeah. Yeah.
I thought you said it was okay. I thought the
Red Cross gave me a map. You gave me a fucking
cell phone and now you're hunting me. Right.
Now you're just like caught in the crossfire.
But now imagine the ICE agents. Okay. This is
your job. Your job is to go out and find these
people. And one of the things you don't get about
this, it's like because there was like a recent
clip of mine that got like highlighted where
I was criticizing ICE. One of the things that
you don't think about when you're into this is
just like regular police interactions. The ones
that you see online are the horrible ones. So
you think all cops are horrible. What you miss
is. The millions of interactions that people
have with cops, like, how you doing today, sir?
Good, sir. How you doing? Can I see your paperwork?
Sure. Here it is. You in a hurry? I fucked up.
I'm late for work. You know, all right, man.
Just slow down. Go. Like, all right. Thanks,
brother. Everything's nice. That happens, too.
Like there's nice interactions with cops. There's
people that save people from bad guys. It happens
all the time. There's people that are thankful
that they called the police and they stopped
the burglar who was breaking into their fucking
mom's house or whatever it is. Right. There's
so many more of those, but you're not seeing
those videos. And so with the ICE thing, what
you're only seeing and you're only hearing about
American citizens that have been arrested, the
lady that got shot, you're hearing about all
these negative. What you're not hearing about
is the number. of violent criminals that they've
caught and it's a lot it's in the thousands it's
not it's not like thousands of american citizens
have been shipped out to other countries that's
no it's like net positive if you look at it that
way like the see if you can find out how many
because i know there's probably going to be a
bunch of various sources that are not totally
accurate but find out like what are the number
of violent criminals they've caught Since they
started doing this well also also the there is
a question on This is how I because I know this
how they recruit some ice agents It's just like
their ads on local TV just offering like a signing
bonus. Yeah, you have see there's an ice hat
Yeah, and it's like these are just like also
regular people how much training are they really
getting right because when you watch the shooting
video You're like why is the guy shooting also
recording? With his phone. Like, there's no way
that's, like, anything you're trained to do.
Maybe for his own safety, like, just to make
sure that you could see this lady's unhinged.
Is he not wearing a body camera? He's not a cop,
right? Yeah. So I bet he's not wearing a body
camera. Yeah. So I bet that's why. I bet that's
why he filmed it. And also, that same guy, turns
out, was dragged by a car just recently. So,
like, he almost lost his life or someone did
try to run him over. He's hanging on to a car
for dear life. I think he got dragged. 300 feet.
He got dragged 300 feet. That's crazy. 300 feet,
that's a long way to get dragged. Yeah. Right?
Yeah. 100%. That's a full football field. There's
a full possibility that you may die. There's
no single public record number of violent criminals
captured by ICE raids just over the last few
months, and available data suggests those cases
are a relatively small share of recent ICE arrests
and detentions. One analysis, ICE internal data,
said that only 5 % to 8 % of the people booked
into ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal
year 2026 had violent or serious property crime
convictions. But even if it's 8%, they've gotten
rid of a half a million people already. And then
1 .6 million voluntarily deported. So in a half
a million people, 8 % is a lot. That's a lot
of violent criminals. So this is weirdly phrased.
As of January 22, I would say 8 % is a lot. Like
if you have cancer in 8 % of your body, I would
say you're fucked. You know what I'm saying?
Like if you're saying, oh, it's only been 8 %
that are violent criminals. That's a lot of people.
But now the question is, are these 8 %? And then
the nonviolent people sent to the same place.
Ooh, that's a good question. You know what I
mean? Because you do want the violent criminals
out, but then I don't want the nonviolent criminals
to be sent, or nonviolent people who are here
to be sent to a prison. Exactly. It says ICE
no longer voluntarily publishes detailed case
-level arrest breakdowns by offense type and
independent projects. So imagine if you're a
dude from Mexico that just walked up here because
you wanted a better job and then they shove you
in a prison. And now, yeah, in some prison in
El Salvador. And you never did anything bad your
whole life. And now you're in some, well, the
El Salvador thing, are they still doing that?
I don't, that I don't know. That was a bad. Yeah.
That's bad optics. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot
of optics. Optics with ICE has been terrible.
It says recent enforcement has involved thousands
of arrests nationwide, but available analysis
consistently indicated only a small minority
of those. Is that in italics? No. Is it not?
Is it? Maybe. Weird, right? Yeah. It looks a
little funky. No. No, it's not. It's just that's.
perplexity showing its bias. Small minority of
those, that's a tone, of those in ICE detention
arrested by ICE in late 2025 and early 2026 have
violent criminal convictions. Most have no convictions.
But when they say small minority, they indicated
previously that that's 8%. That still means a
lot of human beings. Yeah, yeah. That's a lot
of violent human beings. If you could sign a
piece of paper that said that You know, we're
going to allow a bunch of people into this country.
Most of them have no violent convictions, but
about eight percent of them are monsters, evil,
sociopathic murderers, drug dealers. Eight percent
is a giant ass fucking number. Right. That's
a giant ass number. Right. The real problem is
that they have to do this. This is a real problem.
Because the Democrats did what they did. They
did a crazy thing. They opened the border up
and told people the border was open and then
let people. And then when people tried to stop
them from doing it, they use court orders. Like,
what was that thing they did down in Texas at
the border? Oh, yeah. Because Abbott tried to
put up something, some like wall or something.
They said, you can't stop this. Which is, wait
a minute, we can't stop people from breaking
the law? What are you saying? There's a method
to stop this and you don't want it stopped? Right.
Because the dirty secret is the census doesn't
count citizens. It counts everybody. It even
counts illegals. So if you live in a community
that's half illegal aliens, you get way more
congressional seats from that district than if
you are in a community where all those people
don't count. They said that I think they said
that California, if the census did see if we
can find out what the number is. But if the census
did not count illegal immigrants in California,
I think they would lose a shocking number of
seats. Right. Which is kind of crazy. That's
crazy. You're rigging politics by moving humans
into place. Yeah, well, you got to do something.
It's a very, something that no one really talks
about a lot is like the Democrats, every single
minority group shifted right in 2024. Right.
Every single one. And no one really is like.
actually trying to figure out why that's happening.
They're like, well, if we just import more people,
we can overcome that deficit. But they could.
They could. If it was successful, they could
overwhelm the political process. They could make
it just like it's California forever, where you
get half the people are like massively disgruntled
and so confused about the politics, but they're
stuck there. And that would be the whole country.
It would essentially be that kind of a thing.
And then they do what they do in England and
what they do in Canada, which is they slowly
start clamping down on your rights. Right. And
England starts arresting people for social media
posts. Well, you know, hopefully the free speech
stuff is so ingrained in who we are as a people.
Because England, like at the end of the day,
it's not like that country was built on that
principle. This says that they would only lose
two House seats. It says... California would
lose, I called it Canada. It was like Freudian.
Would lose an order of one to two house seats
if people in the state without legal status were
not counted in the census used for appointment
based on recent expert simulations. All right.
Here's the thing. How many illegals are in California?
Let's find that out. What is the estimated number?
Put that in there, Jamie. What's the estimated
number of? illegals in California. I don't know
where I'd be without this kind of shit. I'm so
hooked on using like perplexity for any question
I have all throughout the day. It's like my smart
friend. It's like better Wikipedia because it
can really like you can use it as like way better
than Wikipedia because it scans the entire internet
and sometimes it does catch some bullshit articles
in there and says it might be this and you're
like wait a minute let me go to that article
that might be bullshit because it's only pulling
from the internet right? Undocumented 2 .8 million
in 2007. Well, yeah, that would be around two
seats, right? Because there's like 30 million
in California. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.
That makes a difference. And then you do the
same thing in Seattle. You do the same thing
in wherever, you know, places you have massive
numbers of undocumented people. Ohio is a big
one. You know, this is one of the reasons why
they had this thing where, like, why are there
so many Haitians in Ohio? What do you think?
I think they just decided Ohio's a spot and they
all had a group WhatsApp chat. No, probably somebody's
moving them there because it's a swing state.
It was funny when the Somalian thing, when Waltz
was like, this is white supremacy. It was crazy.
But it's like, hey, but then who's the most supreme
white man in the state? Governor? You bitch.
Like, that's a crazy Freudian slip. But it's
also like, what a crazy attempt at misdirection.
White men commit most of the crimes. Yeah, that's
part, I think I told you, that's part of the
reason why I think, like, minority groups are
shifting away because it's like, one, I don't
think that's something, the whole victimhood
mentality, that's not something that minority
groups really experience or like. value especially
not minority groups that are immigrants that
are in the middle of the hustle right we got
to go to work like we got to overcome that's
the whole point regardless of the hand you're
dealt you got to just play it and overcome and
so that victimhood mentality really kind of pushes
people away from the left i think in that manner
and then like you know when biden was like you
know uh if you uh don't vote for me you're not
black it's like that's kind of how they That's
kind of how they view the minority vote. It's
a hostage vote. It's like, vote for us or else.
Yeah. It's like, no one likes that energy coming
towards them. And they'll lash out and go in
a different direction. Such a wild thing to say.
I mean, unbelievably funny. Unbelievably funny.
Man. It's just, I can't believe he fucking said
it. He's so, and he said it without. fucking
crazy pulled back face and it's like this is
madness that whatever they did to him to make
him look try to look younger yeah it just doesn't
work kids No, oh my god, all that. We know what
you used to look like. You're on TV all the time
and all of a sudden you have a completely different
face? Like your face is different. Everything's
pulled back and it doesn't look like anybody
normal that's 80 years old. No, all plastic surgery
ages you look like an alien when you're old.
There's just no way around it. I don't know who
lip fillers are for because I don't know any
guy who's like, yeah, I like that look. Like
that much, but it's crazy how they age. The facial
fillers are crazy too because sometimes those
things become a problem and then you got to get
them removed. Well, now they're doing that buckle
fat thing where they look like ghouls. Why would
they do that? Why would they take fat out of
their face? Fat in your face is what makes you
look youthful. What are those ladies going to
look like when they hit their 60s? They're going
to look like ghosts. Maybe. Because their face
will be all sunken in. By the time they're 60,
I think medicine is going to be at a level where
they're going to be able to reverse aging. They're
pretty close to being able to do that. They've
already done some stuff with mice, and they've
done some stuff where they're understanding,
like, what genes are causing you to have these
problems, what things can be done to mitigate
it. And they're treating aging not like an inevitable
aspect of life, but as, like, a disease that
you get over time. Right. Instead of, like, accepting
the fact that your body is going to age at a
very specific rate, and then when you're 60 it's
going to suck, when you're 70 it'll suck worse.
Instead, it's like, what's causing it? that let's
reverse what's causing it and you know essentially
if you can do that and I think they can if it's
they can't do it now they're gonna be able to
do it whoa Jesus what happened okay but this
is like day one this lady just had surgery popped
up on my feet a few times she's 69 almost 70
holy shit that lady does not look even close
to 69 or 70 Is that true? Is that Dr. Crazy?
He's making it up. She's like, I'm fucking 40,
asshole! It just feels like one of those human
dolls. What did she look like before? There you
go. Whoa, that's the same lady? Bro, that's crazy.
You could pick her up at a bar, and then you're
like, why do you smell old? God, that's crazy.
You got that old people smell? The mothball smell?
Just sprayed. perfume all over their body. I
remember there was this episode of that show
Autopsy. Did you ever see that show, Autopsy?
There's this guy, Michael Badden, and he's a
famous forensic scientist that examines cases
and says, this is actually a murder, and he catches
people. And one of them was this guy who was
really crazy, and his wife died. All of his wife
or a lady he knew died. I forget the circumstances,
but he kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned
some kind of an artificial vagina that he attached
to the corpse and then had cases of perfume.
And so apparently he just kept fucking it. Is
this like an older story? Yeah, it's like some
Cuban doctor, and it was like some girl he fell
in love with, and then she died. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. But it wasn't his wife, right? No, it was
like in a plaster case thing, and it was, yeah.
People are fucking crazy. It had a mask on it,
so it was like a corpse that was like years old
with a mask on it and an artificial vagina and
cases and cases of perfume. So this guy's just
fucking covering this thing, perfuming, getting
his fuck on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to find
the picture of it. He even inserted a paper tube
into her decrepit corpse to serve as a vagina
for making love. Yeah, that's what I'm talking
about. That's the fake vagina. I think it was,
yeah, it was like something he made. Like he
made something. He made a thing to fuck. People
go through lengths to get their rocks off. That's
crazy. That's like ingenuity. That's like, man,
if you had that energy towards anything positive.
You could get to Mars. Yeah, you could figure
stuff out. Find us a photo of the corpse. There
we go. Yeah. Oh, no, that's Carl Tanzler. That's
a different guy. Oh, it's a different one? But
he did the same thing. Oh, God. Yeah. Key West.
Same thing. Secretly took her body or used French
plaster to preserve her skin, rigged wires and
hangers to support her skeleton, and then pumped
a continuous stream of perfume to mask the scent
of decay. Disturbing arrangement continued for
seven years until it was finally discovered by
her sister. Oh, God. What a horror story that
is. Oh, God. You find your sister's body, and
there's a continual stream of perfume to keep
people from knowing there's a rotted body up
there. Oh, God. He did it for years. Mm -hmm.
God, men are fucked. Yeah, well, you know, any
sort of weird predator will end up in that situation
where they can do their thing, right? So if you
fuck dead bodies, you're going to be in a corpse.
There's like female pedophiles just become middle
school teachers. That was in the 30s. That's
what they do. Jeez. Carl Tanzler. Oh, God. And
that's Dr. Michael Badden, the HBO show. That
show is awesome, man. Oh, and he did Epstein's
autopsy. Yeah, he did. He's one of the ones that
said that the wounds were consistent with ligature
strangulation, not with hanging. Yeah, we talked
about this last time. So I recorded my special
on the 25th of October, and I have a bunch of
Epstein jokes in there. And in the meantime,
they said they released the files, and I was
like, oh, no, but they still haven't released
them. And I was like, oh, thank God, the jokes
still work. I was like, oh, my God, thank God.
At least two separate times where I bring them
up because it was even bigger back then. Well,
it's going to go on for a long time, I suspect.
I mean, they said they released them, but what
did they release? No, they're still not all out
yet. But what did they release? Yeah, yeah. The
whole thing's weird. It reminds me of that Onion
article where they're like, oh, CIA realizes
they've been using a black highlighter this entire
time. It's like that. It's like, oh, okay, you
just blacked out pages. Redacted the shit out
of everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did they
release? Did they release something recently?
No, they haven't released anything in a minute.
They had that initial release where everything
was blacked out and it was that picture of Winnie
the Pooh, which was hilarious. But isn't there
talk about some new releases that are happening
soon? Have they? It feels like everything's been
drowned out by everything else been going on.
With the Somalians and the ice shooting, it feels
like that's completely drowned out. Anything
about it. I think some of that's on purpose.
Oh, 100%. 27 minutes to go. Update story. A federal
judge blocked. The effort to force the release
of more files. Okay. The federal judge. We said
it a little bit wrong. Is the federal judge blocked?
the lawmakers' effort to force the DOJ to release
the Epstein file. So they're trying to force
the DOJ. They already were forced to. They've
missed deadlines. And a federal judge blocked
them from forcing them to release it. So a federal
judge said, no, you can't force them to release
it, even though you campaigned on it. Yeah. Even
though you ran on it. Even though you stood outside
of that courthouse with a bunch of binders. We've
got it. He ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to
appoint an outside expert. Oh, I see. Okay, that's
a little different. So the federal judge Wednesday
ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an
outside expert to ensure the Justice Department
complies with a law that makes all files pertaining
to the prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein available
for public view. Okay, that's different. Yeah,
but still, the law... that they play to make
sure it still can't come out is pretty crazy
impressive. I don't have the jurisdiction. But
if you're a federal judge, you can't step outside
of your boundaries. Don't they kind of just do
that sometimes, though? Yeah, but you're not
supposed to. Just because some of them are unethical
or some of them... Right, that's fair. Yeah,
I don't understand all this, so I'm going to
be charitable about it. I'm going to be charitable
about it, but I just don't understand how anybody
can go to jail for sex trafficking when you don't
have anybody they sex traffic to. That don't
make any sense. If I was Ghislaine's lawyer,
I'd be like, to who? To who? How did he not do
that? You want to tell me there's some sort of
a compromise trial. How do you not have a lawyer
that goes, who did she sex traffic to? Right.
That's clearly there's some sort of backdoor
deal that was like, hey, because you spend this
time in jail and we won't kill you. Well, of
course. Yeah. Or also she's working with them.
Right. How do you how do you have I mean, in
any way, shape or form, how do you have a person
convicted of a crime when there's like especially
that kind of a crime where there's a person that
hires you or gives you money or that you use
to get influence from and then you sex traffic
to them? So there's another person involved,
and that other person is completely eliminated
from the trial because what? Because they're
billionaires? Because they're heads of state?
Yeah, they're powerful enough. Because they're
prominent scientists? How is that okay? That
doesn't even make sense that you could get through
a whole trial like that. Yeah, but I think that's
just a – I was saying this earlier. I think this
is just a function of government, these intense
blackmail sex rings that everyone just kind of
gets away with it. Well, yeah, it seems like
that's how they run things. It just happens over
and over again. But it's like, look at it this
way. Imagine if you were selling hash, and you
had pounds and pounds of hash at your house,
and you've been selling hash, and you got caught
selling hash. They charge you with distribution,
and you're like, okay, but distributed to who?
Because you're only selling to rich, famous people.
You're only selling to heads of J .P. Morgan.
You're selling all your hash to those guys. And
they're like, well, who did he sell the hash
to? Nobody. Somebody bought $100 million worth
of hash. And there's nobody? You have no purse?
That doesn't make any sense. There's no crime.
So he didn't really sell it. You could say he
possesses it, but maybe intent to distribute.
But if you want to get him for actual distribution
and selling of hash, he's got to sell it to somebody.
Man. At least an undercover agent. Right. But
like in this situation, it's like, did we ever
really think anyone was really going to go to
jail for this? I feel like with continual constant
pressure, they have to, it has to slowly leak
out. Man, I wish I was that optimistic about
it. They've done a good job of, they've done
a good job of it. keeping the names out of the
press even after they said they would leak them.
It says here, FBI and DOJ records from 2019 reference
about 10 individuals described as an alleged
Epstein co -conspirators, including Maxwell and
French modeling agent Jean -Luc Brunel, who died
in French custody in 2022. That's a way to get
out of it, too. Be like, oh, she sold it to a
dead guy. Yeah, but it's also, this is not saying
that she sold it to them. They're co -conspirators.
So they were probably involved in facilitating.
They were probably involved in acquiring these
girls, making connections, because that guy owned
a modeling agency. So he's or he's a modeling
agent. Right. Right. Right. So that guy's getting
him girls. So he's a co -conspirator. It's not
saying that he was John. You know, he was a John
that was getting the girls. He was a co -conspirator.
So there's at least 10 individuals who are also
which makes sense. If you have this giant blackmail
ring, it's not going to be like one guy. Right.
I also find it funny. The whole we mark that
Mark Epstein guy, his just brother came out of
nowhere. For like a little bit. For a little
bit. And then he's like, fuck this. It's like,
wait, first of all, what do you mean a brother
that just knows everything that happened? Because
he came out and said that wasn't like the email
that was like, oh, Clinton, Trump sucked Clinton's
dick. He was like, no, Bubba wasn't Clinton.
But you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick.
You just were like, it wasn't Clinton. Trump
sucked some guy named Bubba's dick. Some truck
driver. What were you just showing us? And then
he disappeared. That a few of those people were
protected by the 2008 - non -prosecution agreement.
Oh, that little slap on the wrist protected a
bunch of people. Right. And so they continue
to be protected? Is that the idea? That's where
no, I don't know if anybody knows. Nothing's
better in law than a technicality, huh? That's
a slippery one. So what did Epstein's brother
wind up saying? He said it wasn't Bubba, which
implied that he knew exactly what was going on
on the island the whole time, and it was just
out and about. But he's still saying that Trump
sucks someone's dick? Yeah. And then he just
straight up disappeared. Where the fuck did he
go? We just learned about him. Man, I believe
a lot of things. I do not believe Trump sucks
someone's dick. Because he doesn't do drugs.
You know what I mean? When Charlie Sheen was
saying he sucks some guy's dick, like, okay.
Charlie was doing so much crack. It was out of
his fucking mind. I feel like that level of power
is a drug at that point. I mean, maybe. I don't
think so. I don't know. It's a very fun world
to believe that he did. I don't think it's going
to get a guy like Trump to suck a dick. It just
doesn't seem... That's a guy who's fucked up
on drugs. That's like when Diddy was doing it.
They were all doing drugs. It's a drug thing.
Right? Unless you're a gay man, it's a drug thing
to go around sucking dicks. So we're assuming
that Trump's been hiding the gay the entire time.
Not a chance in hell. That would be the most
impressive hide of all time. Also, why would
he do that? Yeah, there's no reason. If you're
open and you're gay, side with the fucking Democrats.
That's the move. You can probably do all the
exact same things when you get into office. It's
all horseshit. I'm trying to follow up a question
that does not know who's in charge of Epstein's
estate. It's thinking. Look at it. Your laptop's
about to blow up. Fucking drones about to hit
the building. The mothership's going to be on
fire tonight when we get there. Jesus Christ,
man. It's so funny. It's an attempted cover -up
of corruption that would have been successful
in the 70s. If they had pulled this shit off
in the 70s or the 80s... Gone. Well, it's the
whole Franklin scandal. Sure. Yeah, they killed
that reporter. Yes. They killed that reporter.
There was definitely some... Yep. Underage sexual
thing going on there. And they were like dead.
You and your son. That's what you get for fucking
around. Yeah, man. We'll kill both of you. Well,
you know, Tucker's talked about this and a few
other people have talked about this. There's
a bunch of secretly gay politicians. Oh, yeah.
And then there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles
as well. Yeah, I mean, definitely. For sure.
I pulled that once on Bottom of the Barrel, just
secretly gay Republicans. That was my thing.
And then I was like. Can you imagine how good
that sex feels? Especially after you spent all
day being like, it's bad, it's wrong. And then
that sex is extra hot. Yeah, because you're going
against God and your party at one time. Some
twink with his converse on. Yeah. And then you
go back and be like, family value. Like that
level of... I think there's a lot of them that
are putting on a show. A lot of them. They're
putting on an act and you're never going to get
to know who they really are. And that's why when
something comes out, it's like shocking. They're
all fucking... weirdos. They're all weirdos.
You have to be a weirdo to want to run the company.
Or you have to be this amazing person. It's two
options. You have to be Gandhi or you have to
be a weirdo. You know what I mean? And speaker
pedophiles. We had a speaker in the house that
was a pedophile for like eight years. That's
right. A real one. A real deal pedophile. A real
deal convicted pedophile. What was his name again?
Hastert? I think it might have been Hastert.
I think so. I feel like we should look that up.
Let's look that up. I don't want to be like,
oh, Hastert was like a nice guy and we're calling
him Red Bull. Speak of the house. He was involved
in a very big scandal of it, right? Yeah, Dennis
Hastert. Yeah. It was like some Sandusky shit.
It was at a school that he was teaching at. Exactly.
Allegations that Senate. Senate candidate Roy
Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning, and
sexually assaulting high school -aged girls.
It was shocking, but not without precedent. There
have been plenty of congressmen who carried on
sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas
Jefferson. That was back when people died when
they were 18. Strom Thurmond, perhaps more dastardly.
Illinois Rep. Dennis Hastert served as Speaker
of the House from 1999 to 2007. And a little
further down the line, and additionally agreed
that Hastert sodomized a fourth -grade boy in
a school bathroom and threatened him if he reported
assault. That's like Sandusky stuff. Jesus Christ.
Since the statute of limitation had expired on
these crimes, Hastert was instead convicted of
evading bank reporting requirements in order
to secretly pay off his victims. That's so funny.
He served 15 months in prison. That's it. Holy
shit. That's so crazy to pay off your victims
and not do it in cash. Yeah, that's a lot of
money. That's fair. I bet it was quite a bit
of money. Holy shit, dude. Yeah, and just speak
of the house. So if there's one kid that got
sought, a fourth grade boy in a school bathroom,
how many more did he do that to? How many just
don't want the shame of it coming out publicly?
How many guys are struggling with it right now?
They're 35 years old. They don't want to tell
that story. Right. That ruined their life because
the speaker of the house fucked them. Crazy.
Crazy. Crazy. So he's not alone. No. Right? No.
That's the Franklin scandal, right? And there's
no way that wasn't uncovered beforehand by people.
Just the way the political machine works. But
that's sort of like, you get me for this, I'll
get you for this, so you keep that under wraps.
You just have that in your back pocket. I think
it's just part of that game that they play. Oh,
for sure. It's like Game of Thrones. For sure.
It really is. It really is like Game of Thrones.
It's just whorehouses. And also House of Cards,
right? It sucks that Kevin Spacey got busted
because that show ruled. I know, right? But,
you know, it's so funny because thinking back
on it, like if you looked at movies, my genuine
take before he got busted for this is he plays
the greatest villains. Yes. He's like the greatest
villain actor of all time. He's the greatest
creep. Mm -hmm. He's like a brilliant creep.
Like, with darkness behind his eyes. Oh, yeah,
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then can turn it on the
charm, that southern charm for the camera. How
about when he did that fucking weird video in
front of the fireplace? Oh, dude. Like, in character?
Right after. Kill him with kindness. Right after
the witness to his case died? Like, another witness
to his case died? Yeah. Like, what? People were
dropping her, like, flies around space either.
Bro. Crazy. Real deal villain shit. acting out
the literal plot lines as the character, being
the character while he's tending the fire. Goes
to show you, you can still be a, I mean, he's
still a genius artist. Amazing. Yeah, just like
a wow. Amazing. And in any other time, he would
have never gotten caught. Mm -hmm. That's just
how the machine worked. Yeah. I mean, he's just
one of those guys that got an immense amount
of power and he was just a dick grabber. Like,
give me that dick. And I bet a lot of guys are
like, okay. That's the problem with wild pitches.
You fucking swing at every pitch. You're going
to hit a few. But he's probably, for all these
guys that he grabbed dicks and said, probably
drunk, probably fucked up. How many guys let
him suck their dick? A lot, I bet. I bet it was
an effective strategy. Right, especially for
famous in Hollywood. If he did it to gay guys.
But he was like the one guy that... The story
broke was a young teenager right when he's like
14 or something like that Yeah, and they were
working together or something like that. It was
definitely a minor But it's also like why is
that teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk
gay guys like hey? Where's your dad? Fuck is
going on. What are you doing there? But it's
you know it's not excusing him for doing it the
thing about people in the gay community is they
look very differently at teenage boy gay teenage
boy men relationships than we do at like teenage
girl men relationships they look at it very differently
like milo got in trouble for that is milo on
his on my podcast was talking about this guy
that molested him he's like trust me i was the
predator right that's what he said that's a crazy
thing to say but they look at it differently
oh yeah that's uh i remember someone was uh i
was living in la and we had this gay dude who
was sleeping on the uh you know we had a uh bed
in the living room for guests to stay over so
he was he like lived there for like two months
and they were we were watching call me by your
name and he it's like a it's like a it's army
hammer and maybe it's chalamet i forgot i i was
in and out my roommates were watching it but
it's like a about a gay story between an older
man and a A younger boy. And yeah, he said this
read like, he was watching it like, oh, this
reads like a fan fiction of an older gay dude
being in love with like a younger gay guy. Yeah,
it's like a, I remember that. I remember him
telling us that. I'm like, oh, okay. That's interesting.
Well, I mean, it kind of makes sense, right?
Because we think very differently of like a high
school football player that winds up banging
a really hot science teacher. Yeah. you know
you're not mad you're just like this is crazy
that lady's crazy she's 35 she's got two kids
she fucks a 17 year old boy in the bathroom like
yeah yeah that's i said that other female pedophiles
become teachers that is that is what they do
they find the way it's very very very different
than the scenario of, like, the football coach
that's banging the cheerleader. That's crazy.
Yeah, that's way darker. That makes you want
to lynch him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's way grosser.
It's weird, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is weird.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, with every time, there's
a South Park episode about it, every time you
hear that story about, you know, the older teacher
fucking the young boy, every guy's kind of like,
nice. Yeah. Well, you know how the best joke
about it was Zach Galifianakis. He said, do you
hear the boy died? Yeah, his friends high -fived
him to death. Man, that live at the Purple Onion.
Oh, fantastic. That was a fucking great special.
What is he doing these days? I have no idea.
He was on that show for a while on FX Baskets.
That was really good. Louis Anderson won the
Emmy on it. He owns a farm somewhere. He has
like a farm. I think he's like... He's very smart.
Have you ever talked to him? I've never met him.
I've never. The only time I saw him live was
at Brody's Memorial. Yeah, he was real tight
with Brody. He is one of the ways that I found
out that Brody was off his meds. He contacted
me. Do you remember that one time when Brody
got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy
and was like yelling at people in the audience
sometimes? And it got weird. It wasn't like performance
arty anymore. It was like what's happening with
Brody? And then he got back and he like bounced
it out. Brody had like a legit problem. Whatever
it was, whatever his mental health issue was,
he needed medication. He was legit crazy. And
Zach contacted me and said, it seems like Brody's
off his meds, so just don't engage with him.
Damn. Damn. So it's like you got to kind of figure
out a way to corral him, get him back on his
stuff. But man, when he was in that main room.
When he was in that main room and what was left
of the crowd was rocking with him. It was just
so much fun just watching him play drums. He
came to the improv one night. We were doing a
later show. So it was like a 10 o 'clock show.
And he was on late. And the show was kind of
Peter now. You know how it does. At the time
it was probably like about half full. And then.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brody Stevens.
Brody takes his shirt off and starts swinging
it around in the air like a flag. He goes through
the crowd. Let's go! Energy! He just gets everybody
fired up. He immediately breaks out the drumsticks,
starts fucking drumming on the seat, and then
starts telling jokes and just changed the whole
tempo of the room. Everything lit up. It was...
It was like, that's what Brody can do. Just with
pure charisma and talent and just personality.
And anytime I see him, anytime I see a person
in the audience like this, arms crossed, negative.
That's all I can think. That's all I can think.
It's like, wow, you are giving me negative energy
right now for no reason. For no reason. You're
at a show. Come and enjoy it. Especially when
you see it, because I cold open a lot, you see
people be like, why are you? why'd you come here
like impress me like you're already here enjoy
the energy it takes a while sometimes for people
to loosen up you have the hardest job when you
have when we do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows
and you cold open. I've only cold opened a few
times over the last few years. Yeah. Or over
the last 10 years. It's hard. You've got to hypnotize
those people. You've got to slowly work your
way into the rhythm of jokes. Oh, yeah. You have
to sort of like, I like it because it's energy
matching. You have to find out where they are,
catch on to them, and then bring them to the
energy that you want. You know who's really good
at it? Yeah. Hans Kim. Oh, yeah, yeah. Really
good at it. It's just straight jokes. It's just
straight jokes, and he's funny looking. He's
got a big smile on his face. He's having fun.
You kind of get into his groove real quick. He
did so many arenas with me and so many big places,
and he was the perfect guy because he would just
go, let me tell you something about myself. Then
right away, he would take control of the room.
It was awesome. Derek's great at bringing him
in, too. It's fun watching. the different people,
their different cold open strategies. Derek is
just getting everybody fired up, excitement,
and he's so lovable. He's got, again, so much
charisma. The cold opening for as long as I have
done, and my career even pre this club, it made
me feel so much stronger. Almost like running
with ankle weights on. Now, leading up to me
releasing Too Soon, I was like, all these spots
i was getting at the end of the shows these were
material this is all material that i tested at
the beginning of rogan and friends which especially
at the beginning of the club a lot of people
were like wait You're not Rogan talking to a
friend like they thought they were coming to
a live podcast before you know It took a while
before the shows were like oh, yeah, this is
a stand -up show So really yeah thought it was
gonna be a podcast and very beginning there were
some episodes We had to like introduce the concept
of this is gonna be stand -up Now it's not like
that but like at the very beginning it for sure
was but like it was like I felt My material was
like battle tested. Well, it certainly is. The
running with weights is a great analogy. That's
exactly what it is. Yeah, it makes the jokes
so much stronger. You know what else is really
good for your act is hosting. Yeah. Because you
go up so often. Like one of the things that really
helped a lot of guys at the store was hosting
potluck. Because, you know, you have to. There's
all this chaos. Someone just bombed. Something
crazy just happened. Someone just did something
completely fucking insane. You have a chance
to make fun of it. Reset the room. Reset the
room. And there's a comfort level that comes.
Because you're essentially doing stand -up from
8 p .m. to 2 a .m. Yes. Yeah, when I first started,
when I lived in, first was a door guy in Hollywood.
Derek was booking the Madhouse and I would come
down and host the weekend shows. So every day
I'd host from every weekend or two weekends a
month, I would host from five to two in the morning
because you'd host the open mic afterward. And
you just host the entire night. It's a full day's
worth of hosting. That's awesome. Yeah, it's
like, it's because the opening spots suck, but
like they make you better. It's the ones that
suck that make you better. It's definitely, well,
you realize, like, where the sloppy parts of
your bits are. Like, you're saying them, you're
like, ew. Right. You know, like, it gets you.
You're like, ew. Right. Like, whereas when the
crowd's popping and they're laughing at everything,
they want to laugh. You can get that through
and actually get a laugh. But then when, like.
It's quiet and it's the beginning of the show.
You realize, oh, this bit sucks. Right. I got
to bring this bit to the garage. Yeah, I got
to not put it up front. What was I thinking?
I got to tighten this motherfucker up. But it's,
you know, there's plenty of other spots. That's
the beautiful thing. I mean, we're running four
shows a night, every night. And there's so much
around the scene. There's so much. I was telling
someone in L .A. It's like, oh, if I chose not
to get up. Ten spots in front of an audience
members in a week at the very least then I chose
that because it's so easy Just go out and get
a lot. There's so much people and like there's
around in downtown alone. There's like 12 dedicated
comedy rooms It's insane. Do you see was it Rappaport
that got kicked off of a show at Cap City? They
canceled his show They canceled Rappaport and
what let me see what the post was cuz they said
something like there's another big club that
will have you or something like that Yeah, it's
in you waiting that we would have them and that
he's racing and we would have them? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, they just assume the mothership is
full of racist people. They don't. Yeah, people
do. But the guy that owns that is the guy that
owns helium. Yeah, but no, not just that. I think
that's pervasive around comedy for sure. It's
nonsense. They're pretending they think that.
There's no way they think that. If you just look
at the lineup, there's no way they think that.
Well, no one's looking at the lineup. They're
really like, oh, Joe and Tony support Trump,
so this must be filled with racist people. That's
what it is. What did they say? Can you pull up
the... I think they phrased it in an interesting
way. So Austin for Palestine Coalition. That's
a Rappaport is pretty funny. That's a Rappaport.
He's done canceled. Thank you, Cap City Comedy
and Helium Management for listening to Austin
and canceling the racist provocateur Michael
Rappaport show at your establishment. And so
Michael Rappaport, there's a make sure. Yeah,
that's the caption is like. But there's another
club that insinuating that we would take what
is this this is just Austin comedy. That's just
someone's account It's just someone's account.
Yeah, that's right when I first moved here That
was when I that's how I figured out where all
the open mics was there But they're not even
accusing us says pretty sure there's another
club or large venue space that will welcome you
that aren't run by helium so but And there's
a lot of places that that's not necessarily they're
saying to us. If you still want to make a stop
in Austin, just let them know. Most of us here
are friendly and won't use politics and hate
to cancel silence performers. So that seems like
they're kind of saying like, hey, Michael, come
do another spot. Do it somewhere else. I don't
think they're accusing him of that. Right. That
sounds more supportive of him coming here and
saying most of us are friendly and won't use
politics and hate to cancel and silence performance.
So that's not helium saying that. I guess he's
outspokenly provisional for this to happen. I'm
not paying attention to that, dude, because I
feel like a lot of it is. Needy you know I mean,
there's a lot of like we're trying to get attention
too hard right. It's like yeah It's like I get
he's not a dumb guy He's got some really good
points But the problem is if you try too hard
you doing it all the time then the good points
miss me right They miss me because you're already
lost all that other silly shit. Mm -hmm. They're
just lost in the sea. Yeah, like yeah Which is
good and bad depending on whether or not you
want to be taken seriously, right? I don't want
to be taken seriously. So like if I do UFO shows
or Bigfoot shows, like good. Oh, he believes
in dragons. Good. Good. Don't take me seriously.
Yeah. But when you're talking about something
like Israel and Palestine, I guess, because it
said something citizens for Palestine. Yeah,
it had to have been. They're not canceling. The
coalition for Palestine is not going out of their
way. I had no idea anybody was calling Michael
Rappaport racist. Oh, well, yeah. This is the
first Michael Rapaport news I've heard in years,
if I'm going to be honest. I had no idea that
there was an organized campaign to stop his shows.
There must be. If it's happening here, it's happening
everywhere, right? It has to be. Okay. Since
early November, our coalition sent several emails.
That's all it took. No, it says they were ignored.
While employees had privately shared that they're
uncomfortable. Oh, they privately shared that.
With anti -Palestinian hate monger Rappaport
being hosted, management seems unwilling to listen
to their community. That's not necessarily their
community. That's just some people in the community.
Rappaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with
political views we disagree with. He's a racist.
Who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children.
He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions
of people whose viewpoints he dislikes. Additionally,
he has a reputation for being generally disliked
by people he's worked with. Doxing his political
opponents and has been accused of working with
Fox News to spread fake propaganda. Okay, this
is like a lot. Who wrote this? Austin for Palestine
Coalition. So maybe it's just in Austin. Oh yeah,
that's it. Austin. Yeah. And then they got him
out of Cap City. Yeah. What so what did they
go back up at the top of that thing? What is
the original? No, no, no, no the original thing
that I read it said He's Mocked is a racist who
cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. Is
that true? I don't think you'd have to we'd have
to go through his thing It's like when you say
something like that. Yeah You just have to take
that for face value that he does that if you
want to believe that I've never seen anything
like that. I would imagine that if he did something
like that, it would go viral. Maybe not. Mocking
dead children? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Maybe not.
Probably. In this day and age? Yeah. He's famous
enough for sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was straight
up mocking. If you're mocking dead children.
Look at the people that mocked Charlie Kirk.
The fucking hate came strong. Oh, yeah. They
all like lost their jobs. They felt the heat.
Yeah, immediately. Immediately. Yeah. Yeah, it
is like the internet makes people very comfortable
with putting their initial emotional reaction
out for everyone to see. And it's like something
that Derek talks about. It's like we got to go
back to the times when like people were like,
oh, you can't post yourself with a red cup. Because
like a job might see that you won't get the job
like that used to be drinking yeah People like
just full -on sketches of like people dying and
like you see so many people die just constantly
too So it's like everyone's just desensitized
to everything. There's a lot of desensitization
There's a lot of people that also live in these
echo chambers and they think when they say think
like well Who was that one lady that was she
was a CEO somewhere? She had a very high level
position somewhere and she posted on her Instagram
story. I think something like She posted, rest
in piss, Charlie Kirk. Right. Like, you're a
regular person with a real job. You're talking
about a guy who got murdered and you just wrote
rest in piss on the internet? Because in their
bubble, they were saying that kind of stuff and
they thought it was a cool thing to say. Yeah,
your algorithm is so designed to just show you
what things that agree with you. Right. So everyone
gets. More and more like, oh, everyone believes
this. Everyone, because everyone around me or
everyone I perceive to be around me believes
that. When really it's just, it's like half of
it's fake. Most of it is just some Pakistani
guy. Right. Yeah, somewhere with like a million
phones. Have you seen the new AI where you can.
It's just constant. No, no, no. The new one where
you can be any celebrity and it looks exactly
like that celebrity. So all your movements, you
could be like. you know, Mike from Stranger Things.
Damn. And it's super accurate. Damn. Like, crazy
accurate. We're getting to the point where, like,
surveillance videos won't be admissible in court.
Like, it's going to be up to there. Well, it'll
all have to be on the blockchain. But even that,
like... I don't understand the blockchain. Do
you? Who knows if that's manipulated? See if
you can find that video. Because there was one
performer who did a series of different people
from Stranger Things. He did like Elle from Stranger
Things and Mike from Stranger Things. And it's
fucking nuts. The same person just moving their
hands around and talking. And they look exactly
like the other person. Right. So now you're seeing
heavily manipulated content. Unless you go out
of your way to look for another opinion. You're
just going to become entrenched in your own opinion.
That's sort of the problem with what's happening
right now. Or entrenched in the opinion that
they want to promote. Yes, they want to promote.
You're just sort of like, oh, you're just being
fed this constant line of bullshit. You've got
to do some algorithm cleanses. You know how you
go on juice cleanses? You've got to do that with
your algorithm. I think, honestly, what you've
got to do is stay offline. You're going to get
got no matter what. Your algorithm is eventually
going to catch you again. It's like, I'm going
to do a little heroin this time. You're a full
-on heroin junkie. Right, right. For me, it's
like there's so many videos of people getting
killed by alligators and lions that are fake.
And they just look a little off. Like the lion
jumps in the car and pulls them out. You're like,
no. You're like, something's wrong with this.
The way people react. Right now, the reactions
of people in the background don't match. Right.
Because it used to be you could see the fingers
and the fingers would be all fucked up. But they
got the fingers pretty down now. They're getting
better at that. Now it's like you've got to look
in the – if the people in the background aren't
reacting, you're like, okay. Yeah. Like if I
was – people in the background would react to
a guy getting eaten by a lion. I guess they could
probably fix that though with a prompt. Well,
that would be the next generation. Everybody
in the background scatter. That's the next generation.
I don't even think it's the next generation.
I think it's just – you gotta just ask it to
do a better version. Keep correcting it. Asking
it to do better. Fix this, fix that. Have you
ever done that with a video where you ask it
to keep fixing things? No. It gets overloaded
and it just gets worse and worse and worse. If
you ask it to fix it, it's not good at making
an edit on the video you already have. Oh. So
you can be like, let's say it'll just generate
another thing and because it's making a video
about a video, everything gets fucked up. Look
at this. Holy shit. This is crazy, dude. That
one looks kind of AI. That looks a little AI
too. A little smooth in the face. So it's probably
better for, do it again? Run it again from the
beginning? The first couple ones might get you.
It's when one seems like obviously really fake.
You know what the thing is too? I think it's
really good with young people. Like him, it looks
fake for some reason. Yeah, when it got there.
But then you realize they all look fake after
you see one that looks fake. But not that fake.
It's just if they did the lighting a little better.
You know, it looks a little too bright. But yeah,
see, I wonder if our perception, because the
first three look real, I wonder if our perception
would change if they put the one of the guy that
looks fake first. You feel what I'm saying? I
don't know, because this one looks real. Like,
that looks like her. Like, if you just had that
one and had her saying a bunch of things, I would
think it's her saying a bunch of things. Well,
that's fucking crazy. We're fucked. We're fucked,
man. Anybody who doesn't think we're fucked isn't
paying attention. It's going to get super weird.
Yeah. And how much of that are they going to
use on us in the news, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
The news is already fucked. But I was thinking
about this the other day, how it's crazy that
because our algorithms are so different, I think
this is why everyone gets so charged over news
things now, is news is the only thing we have
in common anymore. Like there's not really a
show that like everyone's watching or like a
set of shows that everyone's watching your algorithm
Sends you things that you like so you're completely
disconnected entertainment wise to the people
around you and the only thing you really have
in common is What's going on in the world right
because that's the only thing that's consistent
and your opinions on it. What side are you on?
Yes, because every everything becomes divided.
Yes, and you have to have a take on everything.
Yeah Vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza. Yeah, everything
has to have a take. Oh, yeah. Oh, we were cooked
as a, like, companies have to do it. Yeah, I've
been saying, like, we've been cooked as a country.
I've known we've been cooked as a country ever
since Ben and Jerry's had a take on Gaza. It's
like, there's no reason for this. Yeah. There's
no reason for this. You're a company trying to
sell stuff. There's a lot of incentives for companies
to, like, whatever. What is that ESG score? Is
that what it is? What is the score that they
give? So companies have DEI scores for favorable
loans and for government money. It gets real
weird when you start intertwining. It gets real
communist -y. ESG score evaluates a company's
sustainability and ethical impact, measuring
its performance in environmental, social, and
governance areas, such as carbon footprint, labor
practices. and board diversity to help investors
and stakeholders assess long -term risk and potential.
Calculated by specialized agencies like MSCI
and Sustainalytics, scores often from 0 to 100
or letter grades gauge how well a company manages
risk in these non -financial areas, influencing
reputation, access to capital. This is what's
important in long -term financial performances.
So climate change impact, resource use, waste
pollution, energy efficiency, employee relations,
diversity and inclusion, labor standards. So
you're essentially forcing the company to act
a certain way. You can't do it completely as
a meritocracy. You have to have a representative
board of people, which a lot of people agree
with. None of those people are exceptional. None
of the people are exceptional at their job that
agree you should have specific categories of
race. or gender replace meritocracy. Right. No
one really good, male or female, black, white,
Asian. Whatever. No one really good at their
job wants that. No, no, because that just gets
in the way of the job. It gets in the way. It's
like, I'll have to worry about this social score.
Yeah, fuck off. That's kind of what we're heading
towards, right? Well, it's less social. Now with
Trump in office, there was a guy who was a CEO
of some company that was talking about the gigantic
shift in dealing with the government that had
occurred right after Trump took office. He was
like, it was instantaneous, like all the restrictions
and regulations. And this is one of the problems.
with California in particular. It's incredibly
over -regulated, so it's really difficult to
do anything, which is one of the reasons why
so few people have even begun attempting to rebuild
their fucking house. There's regulations everywhere
for everything. It's just over -regulated. Well,
didn't the government buy a lot of that land,
or are they trying to buy that land right now
in the Palisades? I don't think it's government.
I think there was people that were interested
in doing low -income housing, and then there
was whether they were going to carve out things
without their speculators. And there's that famous
video of Newsom standing in front of the rubble
of a burning house going, there's been some discussions.
He's doing that little dance. Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a sociopath. What a freaky
dude. He's running for president. There's no
way he's not. Yeah, I mean, good luck, dude.
He's absolutely running for president. Good luck,
dude. There's a lot of fucking fraud in Minnesota.
Just wait till they start digging deep into the
fraud in California. It's going to take an army
of people to do. It's going to take a long time.
But look, man, there's so much money missing.
They spent $24 billion on the homeless and they
can't account for it. Is it true that Gavin –
let's find out this because I saw this whole
article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed
a bill that would do an audit of where the $24
billion to the homeless went. Well, if their
goal was to create more homeless with that money,
they did a great job. They did a great job. They
did a fantastic job. The crazy thing is they're
literally incentivized to have more homeless
because the more homeless people they have, the
more money they get. Which is what? And then
you see the salaries of the people that are working
on it. Coleon Noir, my friend that's a Second
Amendment advocate who's a lawyer, he was the
first guy to tell me about that because he's
a lawyer and he was in San Francisco. And he
was like, why is there so many homeless people
here? It's like, do they need more money? And
his friend who was a lawyer goes, no, no, no,
no, no. This whole thing is a racket. The more
homeless people you have, the more you have to
fund the homeless initiative. And then you have
this entire ecosystem that's built around the
homeless. Right. And it's just money is going
to executives. Millions and millions of dollars.
And in California. $24 billion. Okay, David Spade
was talking about it. This really happened. He
blocked bills for an audit multiple times. Bipartisan
bill AB2903 unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the
Assembly, 40 to 0 in the Senate, and would have
forced annual public reports on where the money
went. And Newsom vetoed it. Is there no system
in the state? Because it's like if the president
vetoes... At a federal level, I'm pretty sure
if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they
can do a two -thirds vote to pass it anyway.
I don't understand. I don't know how it works.
There is legislative ways to override a veto.
This veto? Federally. Federally. I don't know
about on a state level. It says Gavin Newsom
also vetoed similar bills, AB 2570 and AB 2093.
Wow. That is crazy. Hey, that money's just gone.
$20 billion plus in missing homeless money went.
That is really wild, man, that you would veto
that, that it passes unanimously. And you're
like, nah, playa. That's fucking gangster, dude.
That's why you become a governor. It's probably
a good move if you're a really shitty mayor of
a place like San Francisco and you ruin it. Better
be the governor. Tighten up. And stop the investigation.
Stop all the fucking loopholes. I would call
that good gameplay on Newsom's part. That is
what you're doing. I like looking at politics
from an outside perspective. That's some good
gameplay right there. If it's a game, that's
exactly what you should do. Great moves. Great
move. Yeah. And now you're and now you sort of
can launch yourself as this anti -Trump guy.
And you're like, oh, it's it's it's trying to
get on this pod. The problem with that dude is
the presidential run is coming. He lies so much.
He doesn't remember that he lied. Like he gets
busted on like we've never used the term Latin
X because Latinos do not like that Latin X bullshit
No, you you want to fucking alienate the Mexican
American community start calling them Latin X.
They're like, bitch What the fuck are you saying?
Well, that's fundamentally gendered language
fundamentally against their language. That's
the whole point They're female and male things
in their language. It's a gendered language.
Yeah That's crazy. That's crazy. Stop. The really
crazy thing is, you know, we were talking last
night with Jimmy Carr's friend. What was his
name? I forgot his name. Sorry, sir. Fun guy.
Interesting guy. But we got to talking about
the... The different people that lived in America
before Columbus got here before Cortez got here
before all these Spanish explorers Turned the
entire country into a spanish -speaking Catholic
country, right, which is really nuts man. You
know you want to talk about Colonizing like those
people in Mexico. Oh, we respect their religion
their culture That's the culture of their oppressors
from just a few hundred years ago, right? They
lost a hundred different late native languages,
man They had so many languages in what is now
Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820 Like
whatever it was whatever they called it in the
different areas. They had like over a hundred
different languages. I just lost in the wind
because the fucking conquistadors came through
yeah and and out outnumbered they were able to
do that Bro. This is crazy. Way outnumbered.
Crazy. Bro, they had 13 muskets. Mm -hmm. That's
all they had. 600 dudes, 13 muskets. They burned
the boats and took over Mexico. Crazy. Crazy.
Crazy. Just the gift of gab, too. Just able to
convince Montezuma that they were God. Well,
they showed up with metal. Yeah, that's a fair
point. They're wearing armor and they're riding
horses. They're like, this is crazy. These guys
are riding horses? And there's like a famous,
what was it? La Malinche? Was like a female native
to the area who helped them take them down? Oh,
there's quite a few people that helped them.
They were very clever what they did because there
wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were
absolutely brutal. One of the Spanish chroniclers,
some... I forget his name. Something Diaz. But
one of these Spanish chroniclers, before the
arrival of Cortes, he was there at the celebration
of the completion of one of the temples. I think
it was Tenochtitlan. And they killed somewhere
between 20 ,000 as the low end and 80 ,000 as
the high end. 20 ,000 to 80 ,000 people sacrificed
in a four -day ceremony. That's pretty gangster.
So these are the people that were there. So those
are not loved people. Right, right. So it was
really easy for them to get the other tribes
and go, hey, guys, we got horses. We got 13 muskets.
With your help. We can take them down. We can
speak Spanish. Yeah. Carnitas. That's so wild.
It is a fucking Mexican word, but it's a Spanish
word. Yeah. It's like the language. They had
names like North American, Native American names.
Right. One guy was Cacao Lightning God. That
was his name. I did a whole bunch of research
on these people because I just got fascinated
because one of the things about the Aztecs is
- A lot of these, like, super complex temples,
they didn't build them. They found them. Oh,
yeah. We talk about, like. They called it the
place where the gods were born. Yeah. These sort
of, like, civilizations that, like, clearly probably
existed. Because this is something that I think
about is, like, okay, so do you know the story
of the Achaemenid Persian Empire, like, succession?
I don't know it in detail, but I'm aware of a
lot of it. Right. So you have Cyrus. He has two
kids, Cambyses and Bardia. He splits up the realm
between the two. Cambyses goes off to conquer
Egypt, but he's like, well, Bardia is popular,
so let me secretly kill him and then go off to
Egypt. A Magi priest then impersonates Bardia,
takes over. The Achaemenid Persian Empire is
the ruler now. Cambyses sort of dies on the way
back mysteriously. And then Achaemenid nobleman
named Darius is like, hey, this is a Magi imposter.
Kills Bardia. He's now ruling. Darius leads the
Achaemenid Persian Empire to be as big as it
can be. And he's the father of Xerxes, the bad
guy in 300. Wow. That is the only official narrative
story we have that's from a primary source. And
the only reason we have that is because Darius
carved that story in himself into a rock relief.
It's called the Behistun Relief. So that story
is basically propaganda. But then 50 years later
it gets picked up by Herodotus and that becomes
the story of the Ascension. There's no other
primary source on what happened there. You just
have to take Darius' word for it. Wow. Yeah,
and that's in the 5th century, and the only reason
we know that is because someone carved it into
a rock. Bro. Right? Like, we're not carving anything
into rocks now. So if, yeah, so if something,
let's say like something happens to the internet
tomorrow, and it disappears, and then our civilization
just vanishes off the earth, a couple people
survive, and they build a whole new civilization.
There's all those lines. Is that writing or is
that erosion? I believe that's writing. I haven't
really. Go back to that primary, the original.
Okay. I think it's writing. It looks like cuneiform.
And it's the way it's, yeah. But. That's the
only reason we know something that happened from
that time is because this exists and we have
no idea if it's true Yeah, we have no idea if
it's true, but no one's even carving anything
into stone for us, right? So yeah, look at it.
Yeah, there's no way how dope is that like yeah
look how cool that looks Look how cool that looks
that's how people used to write things down man,
right? Can AI find, there's got to be some of
these. I know there's one from Easter Island
that they can't decipher. Have you ever seen
that one? No. Graham Hancock explained it. And
what he said was essentially the island, it was
a very small island. They got raided by slavers.
And they took everyone except for like 100 people.
And the people that they took and enslaved, they
were the ones who knew how to read this language.
And then this language was lost forever. Right,
damn. There's one piece of, like, wood where,
yeah, that's it, where it's written on. Look
how dope their language looks. Like, zoom in
on, like, how crazy is that, man? Like, what
are they saying? And we don't know. I wonder
if they could throw that through AI and get sort
of an understanding of what these symbols were.
But you'd have to have a base. Like that was
the thing about the Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta
Stone really helped people in Egypt because you're
like, oh, this is how it's written in Greek.
And this is OK. Now we know what it's said in
multiple languages. Now we get an understanding
of it. Yeah. But so the overall point being,
though, is like in our time, if the Internet
disappears. And we're gone. There's nothing from
this time that's really being recorded. It'll
just be lost. Oh, yeah. All the hard drive stuff
gone. Yeah. Just be lost. We'll have to relearn
things. Yeah. But our time, the Americans, there'll
just be some ancient thing that people might
not know ever existed. It says about the it's
called the wrong. Rongorongo. Rongorongo, a glyph
-based script from Easter Island, remains undeciphered
despite over a century of study. Imagine you're
studying it for a century. People's whole lives
have been dedicated to this. No one knows exactly
what it says, as all attempts to translate it
fully have failed, with scholars debating if
it's true writing or proto -writing used as a
memory aid. A memory aid. Yeah, lines alternate
direction, often upside down. Oh, so that's so
hard. Even the direction is ever -changing. You're
not writing right to left. You're just kind of
going wherever you want with it. What is the
latest on the Voynich manuscripts? Has anybody
thrown that through AI to try to see if it makes
any sense? Do you know about that? Yeah, were
they found on a guy? Was that one of them? No,
it's some weird book. And the question is whether
or not this book is just complete gibberish and
nonsense or whether it's some lost language.
And where it's really detailed, too. What was
it found? It's a good question. I don't remember.
Published... Knobby Cipher, is that what it's
called? Published November 26, 2025 in Crypt...
Cryptologia by science journalist Michael Greshko
introduced the Nabi cipher, which uses 14th century
Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin
or Italian text into glyphs, mimicking the Voynich
manuscripts Voynichese. This cipher replicates
key statistical features like glyph frequencies,
word lengths. Grammar rules suggesting a similar
medieval method could have generated the original
15th century text, although it does not decode
it. Wow. Have you seen it? See if you can find
images of it. It's freaky. Where was it found?
That's a really good question. Let's find that
out now. The Voynich Ninja. There's groups dedicated
to this. People are obsessed with it. This is
a fun thing to be obsessed with. Just do me a
favor and just go back to perplexity and say,
how was it discovered? I'm curious. Because I
feel like someone had it and someone bought it
from someone. I could have been wrong. I thought
it was found on a body. I could be wrong about
that. I might be thinking of another thing. It
was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish -American
rare books dealer Wilfrid Voynich. Okay. He named
it himself. Clever guy. I like that. Fuck it.
Something of mine survived. It's mine, bitch.
They say you die. The second time you die is
when someone says your name last, so we're just
keeping him alive. He acquired it from the Jesuit
college in Frascati, Italy, as a part of a batch
of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the
Jesuits' financial difficulties. How many of
these motherfuckers in the Vatican are sitting
on some shit that they don't have to sell? Oh,
yeah. That would, like, change the world completely.
Yeah. Carbon dating places its creation around
1404 to 1438, likely in northern Italy. Emperor
Rudolf II bought it in the late 1500s for 600
gold ducats, possibly from John Dee. It later
passed to Jacobus. How about this guy's name?
Jacobus Horsiki de... Dependence. Eastern European
stuff. That feels like. Dependence. You can't
even. It looks like Hungarian. The problem is
there's some names like Joanna Janjacek. If you
saw the way it's written, there's no way you
would pronounce it correctly. Any of those Eastern
European names, it's like how did you even get
that? Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912. He publicized
the Undeciphered Codex now at Yale's Beinecke
Library, sparking global interest despite failed
decoding attempts. Pull up some images of it
so you can see what it looks like. It's real
weird, man. It's real weird and it has detailed
illustrations. Of like plants and stuff. Oh,
here we go. Here's a little video. So you can
see how cool it looks when they're opening up
the book. Anything that you're getting that's
a book that's from the fucking 1400s or 1200s.
When is it from? 1500s? So the 1400s. Any book
that you're getting from the 1400s is fucking
wild as it is. Just imagine these fucking people
living back then, writing this shit down with
a feather. Just touching it with their bare hands,
huh? Yeah, you have to. It's actually worse to
do it with gloves. Really? Yeah, they found out
that gloves, the rubber is more abrasive. Than
your finger? The oils of your finger is actually
more protective or something along those lines.
Wow. Look how cool that looks though. And they
don't know if that's a real language. That's
what's nuts. You can't decode it. This is a good
YouTube rabbit hole. It's a good one. It's an
interesting one because people say it's a hoax,
but the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's
really well done and very complex and an incredible
amount of time dedicated to it. The fact that
it's still tripping up people now, it's like
it's an all -time great hoax then. Sort of, but
think about how many languages we've lost. We
just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere
around that in what is now considered Mexico.
Now think about the rest of the world. Here's
another instance. mobs of indigenous people in
Australia the aborigines right so they call themselves
mobs and that you know instead of a tribe all
right and They have mobs that will live six ten
kilometers away that speak a completely different
language And they're all over the place and they
don't have these things written anywhere So there's
a bunch of their languages that are just spoken
orally and just disappear and they will disappear
And we don't know how many languages there are
Like my friend Adam Green Tree, he used to own
a mining company in Australia, and he employed
a lot of Aborigines, and he knows a lot about
the culture. He was like, dude, it's the craziest
history because a lot of it is not written down
and there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide
attached to it. There's a cave that you can go
to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poison
food on purpose, like a whole crew of them. And
so there's like just their bones are in this
cave still to this day. He goes, dude, it's the
darkest fucking thing you've ever seen in your
life. You think about this family and their children,
they're starving. And these people, these, you
know. White people in Australia were essentially
prisoners that England shipped over there. Right.
Just gave them poison. And just, damn. Damn.
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. And, bro, they got some
crazy rock art. You ever see the glyphs of, like,
alien -looking dudes and shit? Yeah, there's,
like, people that look like they're on rocket
ships and spacesuits. What information, what
stories, what is their version of the Bible that
we missed? Because they never wrote it down.
Yeah, there's something to do with a large flood.
That seems to be consistent. The Hopi had that.
Yeah, something to do with a large flood and
something to do with some sort of either dragon
or serpent type bad guy. Right. Those are the
two main consistent things across most cultures.
Some large flood event and some snake. Yeah.
Yeah, that's all. And I wonder what the snake
in the Bible really looked like. In the Adam
and Eve story, anytime you see a picture painted
of it, it's painted as a snake. But the snake's
punishment was it lost its limbs. So this was
a dragon. Right? Because the snake's punishment
was it has to slither on the ground. But is that
the snake's punishment forever? Is that like
why God did that to the snakes, period? I think
so. I think that's the whole... Right. But doesn't
that just explain what a snake looks like rather
than describe a dragon? Like, why doesn't it
have limbs? God took away its limbs. You know
what I mean? I see what you're saying. Maybe
it's reversed. It seems like it's reversed. Yeah,
maybe I just really wanted to be a dragon. Yeah,
it seems like, how come they don't get to have
legs? Yeah, yeah. How come you don't get to have
wings, bitch? You know? Because if you really
think about it, like, there are so many different
stories. This is why, like, you know, The View,
like, that's that famous Joy Behar clip where
she said, he believes in dragons. Great clip.
Yeah, it's awesome. Great clip. conversation
that I had with Forrest Gallant who's a wildlife
biologist he's like there's a lot of depictions
of these flying serpents and large serpents with
wings all over the world it's weird right it
is really weird yeah it's like it's like a thing
really weird and we know some dinosaurs flew
so there might have been some do you think there's
some sort of cross well here's the thing The
Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large
dinosaur -like creature forever to the point
where explorers have made their way into the
Congo to try to find this thing. Okay. That resembles
– I think it resembles a brontosaurus. That could
fly? No, no, no. Okay. That was in the jungle.
So the question is, is it possible that a creature
could live for an extended period of time and
then maybe in the – 1100s or a thousand years
ago or whatever 2000 years ago they slaughtered
them all and killed them off like maybe it maybe
they have a long gestation period like an elephant
you know maybe maybe it's possible they realize
these things were a threat they knew where they'd
end up there was a small population anywhere
and they killed them off right maybe maybe It's
not likely. There's no bones. There's no nothing.
But there's no bones of most things. That's the
thing. Most things that die do not leave a fossil.
And then they find things that they thought were
extinct. Not just extinct, but extinct for millions
and millions of years. One of them is the coelacanth.
You know about the coelacanth? No. So the coelacanth
is this crazy looking dinosaur fish that is unchanged
from, God, I want to say. Tens of millions of
years. I don't know how old, but when you look
at it, you're like, yo, look at that thing. And
then they caught one once. They caught it. Like,
I don't know, it was a fishing net or a fishing
boat, but they caught one. And then they realized,
like, oh, my God, these things are still alive.
Like, we thought this was a part of the fossil
record. Damn. And then they realized that there's
parts of the ocean that we just haven't explored
and these things. And then they've caught a bunch
of them since. And then other fishermen have
caught them. But it's a very deep, deep sea creature
that is really ancient. How old is the coelacanth?
Like how long has it been around for? Man. I
hope I'm saying the word right. That's so wild
to not find one for years and then all of a sudden
you just find a bunch. Well, they found a few.
Well, now that they know they exist, they're
looking in that area. They kind of know what
to look for. And then they're fishing in that
area and they caught them. Can you show me an
image of the coelacanth? Oh, I think there's
a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like
called like, I think it's called, it just goes
and looks through what the earth looked like
in different eras. So that's that freaky fish.
Oh, yeah, I've seen this. It's armored. It's
got like these crazy scales on it. It just, it
looks like a throwback. So three, hold up, go
up. Relatives being the first left seas 385...
Okay. So they're not our direct ancestors, but
they're still relatives of beings that first
left the seas. They left the sea 385 million
years ago and became four -legged terrestrial
animals. Damn, and this is like a common link?
So what they're saying is there's creatures that
left... So something like that... Left the sea
385 million years ago and became four -legged
terrestrial animals from which we sprung. And
these relatives are still alive today. So how
long has the coelacanth been around? It weighed
188 pounds. In 1938, floating off the South African
coast in the Indian Ocean, fishermen from the
urban caught an unknown creature. It weighed
188 pounds, five feet in length, dark blue in
color. unabashedly chomped its jaws. This was
not a fish, not just any fish, it had scales,
fins, and limbs, or more precisely, rudiments
thereof. Moreover, there were seven of them,
two in the back, three on the belly, and another
pair on the head. They had limbs on their head?
Whoa. Damn. Should we know the local population
occasionally caught these creatures that didn't
even come up with a name for them? Gombessa.
which can be translated as bitter fish. Love
that. Just eat it first. Find out later. The
residents knew that it was nearly inedible. It
was consumed due to the belief that its meat
helped to cope with malaria symptoms. Yo. Although
it was possible to make something like sandpaper
from the extremely strong and bristly scales.
So when did they think... Look at what it looked
like. That's crazy. That's wild. That thing looks
scary. It looks like a monster. With all those
weird appendages. Right. Eventually made its
way onto the shore. Yeah. Nuts, man. How long
ago was that? Like, how long did they think that
thing had been extinct for? You'd have to look
that up. Yeah. Just put into perplexity the history
of the coelacanth. Okay, here we go. How old
is this motherfucker? 420 million years. Wow.
Rediscovered. Damn, bro. That's wild. Wow. That's
impressive. They thought it had been extinct
for 66 million years. And it was just living.
Whoa. Dude, to live that long, that's pretty
crazy. That's incredible. Yeah, that's... That's
incredible. Mm -hmm. So, this thing... That was
alive 400 million years ago is still alive today.
I thought it was extinct for 68 million years
Is it possible that there's something else like
that that's on land? Less likely, I think. I
think ocean is more likely. Well, it's more undiscovered,
right? Not just that. It's also more protective
of environmental change, right? Right. So it's
probably less dependent on all the – especially
if you're a sea predator, you're probably less
dependent on all the plants growing in nuclear
winter that's happening on the fucking surface.
Right. Where everything dies off and the ice
age comes and it's fucking – Meteor dust everywhere.
You can survive a lot of stuff like climate change.
You're not worried about that really. Probably
you are, but it's probably something more things
would probably survive in the ocean, I would
imagine. Yeah, that makes more sense. How old
are alligators and crocodiles? Aren't sharks
older than trees or something like that? Older
than trees. Older than trees. That's such a mindfuck
to think about. There's something that could
be older than... Yeah, and they still are essentially
in the same form. Just fucking swimming, eating
machines. Apex predators forever. You hear about
that lady off Santa Cruz that got got the other
day? No, but have you read that book about the,
I read that book about the shark attacks in 1916?
Oh yeah, in New Jersey? Yeah, close to shore
where it's like, oh damn. It's in a river. Yeah,
it went in a freshwater river. Yeah. But they
also didn't think sharks were dangerous at that
time. That's so crazy. Like that was in that
time, there were people like, oh, sharks, they're
just like sea puppies. They'll leave you alone.
That was the thought. Part of the reason why
that stuck out to people were like, oh, sharks
are like dangerous creatures. Especially bull
sharks because bull sharks are the ones that
can swim all the way up to like they made their
way to Illinois. Oh, yeah. And they're more aggressive
than the great whites, right? Oh, yeah. They're
hyper aggressive. But they make their way all
the way up freshwater rivers, all the way up
into like cold environments. Fucking Illinois
had bull sharks. Yeah. In fresh water. Just a
fresh water shark. It's just, how bad luck do
you, how much of a bad luck do you have to be
in a river and get attacked by a shark? It was
your time to go. You had your legs dangling out
of an inner tube. Yeah. Just chopped up. And
all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and
you see red in the water and you realize your
leg's gone. Yeah, it takes you a second to realize
your leg is gone too because it's so sharp and
so, yeah. Just slices through and you don't expect
it. Jeez, yeah. Well, we were not expecting a
shark. Shark in the lake. And you look down,
you see the white of your kneecap. Everything
underneath it is just torn tissue. Fuck. Yeah.
Yeah. They didn't think it was dangerous at the
time like that. Isn't that crazy? That's so wild.
It's so wild. All the way up until 1960. In fact,
some people thought sharks were just something
that sailors made up. Whoa. Yeah. Just like,
oh, this giant sea creature that'll eat you.
They don't know what they're talking about. This
is just a sea myth. Well, it's also when you
think about it, when people came to America,
because there's no sharks in England. There's
no sharks in Ireland. Right. They don't have
a problem over there. So when they came to America,
there was only, like, we're talking about this
shark attack was in the early 1900s, right? Yes,
1916. So think about that. There's only like
a couple hundred years of people even being here.
Right. That year was like a perfect storm of
like the beach became like an acceptable thing
to go lounge at. Before that, it wasn't a thing.
I even tried to twist it to say that it was trying
to attack the dog, not the person. The person
was in the way. Yeah, he hates dogs. What? It
does lay out certain things like if you are swimming
with a dog, you're more likely to get attacked
by a shark. Interesting. And it's like something
like a full moon. Like the moon really regulates
sharks' emotions. So like more shark attacks
happen on full moons. Oh, fuck. There's certain
things. Yeah, apparently having the dog, they
never attack the dog. Really? But the dog attracts
the, something about how they swim attacks the
shark. Dogs don't get killed by sharks? Not,
they will attack the person. Really? Mm -hmm.
Wow. The book lays it out. There is something,
there is like a, like a coordinate, like there
are a bunch of different factors that sort of
apply to that. Whoa. Mm -hmm. I don't think there's
anything alive right now that is, you know, dinosaur
-like, but. I wonder how long they stuck around
for. How long some of them stayed. Just the last
vegetables. If crocodiles and alligators didn't
exist, like let's just imagine crocodiles didn't
exist. The big ones, the Nile crocodiles. Let's
imagine no one thought there was a crocodile.
It's nonsense. And then one day someone got a
video of one in the Congo. You'd be like, no,
dinosaurs are real. That's a dinosaur. That is
a straight up dinosaur. Yeah, it's a giant lizard.
That is technically what's left. This dude, Josh
Bomar, he's a bow hunter, and he just killed
a world record crocodile, and I think it was
in Tanzania. Actually, I think he might have
did it like two years ago. This thing is so big.
I think it's like 17 feet long, and it's probably
over 100 years old. He killed it with a bow.
Look at the size of that thing. Good God. Now.
Imagine if that thing didn't exist. If no one
thought that that thing existed. And then you
saw that. And then you saw that. You'd be like,
yeah, that's a monster that I saw. Like, look
at the size of that thing, man. Like, if nobody
went to Tanzania ever. If it was just a place
that no one went to, and then people went there
and they saw that, they're like, oh, my God,
dinosaurs are still alive. Right. Because that's
a fucking dinosaur. Period. Full stop. Yeah,
you'd be absolutely offended. You can call it
a crocodile, whatever. It's a species of dinosaurs
that made it. It's still here. Like, when did
crocodiles first evolve? 83 to 95 million years
ago, late Cretaceous. Younger than the coelacanth.
Yeah, crazy. Up to 250 million years ago. He's
still young. By 100 million years. Well, it's
probably the ancestor that came to shore and
started eating shit. Right, right. If everything
came out of the ocean, allegedly. Okay, there
is something. So there's something that I do.
It's like a gratefulness thing that I do. Because
this is like a big moment for me in my career.
I just released a special. I'm walking away from
it. I'm not working social media at the club
anymore. I'm making steps out. So this is a YouTube
video that I watch. Every time something, like,
sort of big happens to me, or, like, I'm on a
crossroads, and it's, have you ever seen this
Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech? Have you seen
this? No. Okay. Can we pull that up, Jamie? And
it's, like, a three -minute video, but, like,
genuinely, because I'm going to do it, too, I
want you to do what he says. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
It's just a quick little thing. Okay. Yeah, and
I'm... All right. Yeah, yeah. Let's see it. Yeah.
For giving generation upon generation of children
confidence in themselves, for being their friend,
for telling them again and again and again that
they are special and that they have worth. It
is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on
behalf of the millions of children whose mornings
you have brightened with your kindness to present
you with this lifetime achievement award. Oh,
it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood.
So many people have helped me to come to this
night. Some of you are here. Some are far away.
Some are even in heaven. All of us have special
ones who have loved us into being. Would you
just take, along with me, ten seconds. to think
of the people who have helped you become who
you are. Those who have cared about you and wanted
what was best for you in life. Ten seconds of
silence. I'll watch the time. Whomever you've
been thinking about, how pleased they must be
to know the difference you feel they've made.
You know, they're the kind of people television
does well to offer our world. Special thanks
to my family and friends and to my co -workers
in public broadcasting, family communications,
and this academy for encouraging me. allowing
me all these years to be your neighbor. May God
be with you. Thank you very much. He seemed like
the real deal. Yeah. I'm glad nothing ever came
out about him. Yeah, for real, right? He wasn't
like a Jimmy Savile. I'm happy he was the real
deal. He really does seem like he is. Who'd you
think about? Oh, do I want to say it publicly?
Yeah, if you don't have to. You know, family,
personal people, you know. But, you know, you
and I in particular are very fortunate. We have
a lot of people that help us be who we are. Yes.
You know, and that is, like, the one thing that
I think we really highlight at the club is that
we really are all happy. We really are all lucky.
And we really enjoy our time together. Yeah.
And we feed off of each other. I'm so happy,
too. this i i would say the scene is like incredibly
incredibly supportive of each other in a way
that like it's nice i guess in this sort of new
system that we live in too where like you can
just make it on your own like you don't need
like i'm not auditioning for a spot that like
fuzzy's auditioning for because we're both brown
right you know like in the old days yeah there's
no there's no reason there's no reason for me
to be like damn i hope he doesn't get this right
You know, there's like it's a system of like,
oh, we can all just create and then help each
other. Yes. Like piggyback off each other. And
like that's it's like such a refreshing experience
to have. It really is. The rising tide lifts
all boats. And that's how it should be. And it
happens everywhere, too, because like, you know,
obviously you're at the mothership and you see
how hard the door guys there crush. But like,
I'll go to Sunset and Sunset has some fucking.
Killers as door guys now especially because like
they came up in this experience where sunset
you know famously the ceilings are high and like
The the room can be cavernous can feel cavernous
when it's like a tight Mm -hmm, and so they come
up in a harsher like mothership. The rooms are
set up for comedy. Mm -hmm sunset It never happened
that way. The guy died before he could make it
what he wanted to make it. And Redman came in
and just sort of saved it so he can open at the
very least. So it's like they come up in these
harsh situations and like there's this one kid
at Sunset. His name is, well, kid is very funny
to say. He's the grown man. But Mumford Davis,
he closes every single death squad, which is
like 18 hours long. So he closes every single
one, goes up in front of a tired beat audience,
and now he's just an absolute monster. Running
with ankle weights on. Yeah, I mean, he's running
with the biggest ankle weights on. To go at the
end of that in that room, they're tired, they've
been there forever. But you think about it, that's
how Kinison came up. That was the Kinison spot,
was the last spot at the OR. Think about his
style, that screaming, yelling in your face.
designed to shock an audience back to life. That's
Brody. That's Don Barris. That's Brian Holtzman.
Those guys that developed that act, they could
just jolt you out of your complacency. It's kind
of by necessity. Right, how to just keep someone's
attention. Yes. Bringing it back is just so impressive.
That's what I miss about the comedy stories.
I left before I got passed, so I never got those
late -night ORs. spots, those one in the morning,
six people just survived. I mean, some of my
best sets, favorite sets I've seen people have
are in those spots. Damn, you really made this
work. Well, sometimes like reality shines through.
Like they have a real moment on stage where the
comedy is just like people like, oh shit. Like
I remember Laura Bites had a set one time and
I even posted it. Me and Burt Kreischer sat in
the back of the room and she crushed so hard
in front of, there was only like 25 people in
the room. Right. And by the time she was offstage,
there was 50 people in the room because people
were coming in from other places to come and
watch her set. Yeah, when you hear that noise,
you're like, okay, what's going on here? She
was just on fire. She was killing. Yeah, it's
like those spots are nice because it's like,
you know, your jokes, you have to work your jokes
to get to a certain point where like my jokes
are funny enough to showcase and work at the
club. And now that I'm at this level, I got the
jokes. Now, can I be funny? Right. You know,
beyond like what my written, can I be just funny,
me as a person? Yeah. You can kind of really
hone that in those sort of late night. Tough
rooms. Yeah, you got to do those. Yeah, and that's
why the store, at the end of the day, even through
hard and good times and tough times at the store,
that's the reason why they always create monsters.
The store creates monsters. And Mitzi knew what
she was doing. She had a method to her madness,
and she tweaked it and got it to the perfect
form. We essentially use a similar form here.
Yeah, it's kind of like the method to make comedy
happen. It's like just... People in like these
tough spots over and over again. Can you follow
monsters? Right. Can you follow monsters? That's
the best part about being at the ship is like
I've had to follow like Theo and Shane and be
like, damn, I just got to do this. Yeah. And
then you have to follow like the emerging stars
too because then they have a whole separate energy
to them. Like I remember. Following both Cam
and James McCann after they both started popping
and being like, whoa. Just watching the energy
around them shift. Yeah. We lost McCann to Australia.
I know. He'll be back. He's got to be back. He'll
be back. I can't believe he had to go back. So
funny, though. He's the best. He's one of my
favorite guys out there. Because he's got such
a unique, like, it's his perspective. It's, like,
you don't expect it. No. It's coming out of him.
If you think the way he does, you get it. Yeah.
It's really smart, really funny. High energy,
too. Mm -hmm. Like, it's, because usually the
hyper -intelligent go low energy. It's very rare
that a hyper intelligent person like who's intelligent
on stage on purpose like that like he is goes
high energy, right? That's a that's what makes
him unique to me, too When they're when usually
when comics are being smart on stage, and I'll
do this too they go soft They go look at me think
Mm -hmm. Yeah McCann's like I have the energy
of I'm in a bar yelling at you, but it's about
Kyrgyzstan. Yeah. Yeah, we're lucky, dude. Yeah,
the scene is thriving. Yeah. Yeah, there's so
many places to go. That's why I did mine at Black
Rabbit. Just a small little black box room that's
been like, I've had sets there and it's like
10 people and they're amazing. Wow. Yeah, they're
just there for comedy. A lot of them are like,
they tend to be like, These sort of just out
of college kids who can't really afford to go
to any of the clubs. They just have money for
the first time. We're like, oh, we can go to
this little spot. Like $10 tickets. Just get
introduced to comedy. It's a bit of a younger
audience there. How many spots are just on our
street? On our street? I mean, like, there's...
Within our street. Like, within close. That you
can walk to? Count Cap City, because it's like
one block over. Not Cap City, I'm sorry. Vulcan.
No. And Sunset. Creek. Creek in the Cave. Creek.
Creek in the Cave is one over. In that area,
you have Vulcan, Sunset, Creek, Velveeta, and
then Bulls. These are bars that run comedy at
least three to four times a week. It's Bulls.
Oh, fuck. I'm forgetting one of the places. I'm
blanking on it now. But Bulls, Black Rabbit.
If you want to count Roscoe's in East Austin,
they're a little bit down the road, but they're
still kind of in the downtown area. So it's nine
right there. Narbar, that's the one I was thinking
about. That's ten. Shakespeare's runs it a bunch,
and Maggie Mae's runs it, I think, three times
a week. So there's at least 12 pretty much dedicated
comedy rooms, and that's not including Mike's.
That's crazy. That's not including mics. Just
in the area. When you say mics, for people who
don't know, you mean open mics. Yeah, just open
mics. You're talking about booked clubs of professional
comedians. Yeah, these are shows with people.
And some of them are rough bar shows, but they're
shows and they're booked. Wow. Yeah, and you
can get on. There's so many ways to come up.
Oh, you can walk. You can walk. I've had nights
where I've had five sets and none of them were
at the mothership. Wow. You're just out and about.
Yeah, it is so, and it's just different people
getting up in different places. Each different
place has their own ecosystem of comics. You
know, because you go where it gives you time.
That's the right way to go no matter what. Just
whatever is feeding you, that's where you go.
So there's different ecosystems in each place,
and it's really fun, and you just get to see
people like, man, just figure it out. And it's
fun to watch, and they'll figure it out on the
podcast end. They'll figure it out on the comedy
end, and it all sort of works together. It's
got to be extra dope for you too because you
were an early settler. Man, I feel like I got
to the gold rush in 48. I feel like – because
when I got here, there was only three – it was
me, Hans, Kim, and Derek, and Dylan. Dylan was
eight years in. But those were the only four
of us that were like not famous headliners. That
weren't new comics, basically. Right. So we got
to just do so many shows because there was no
middle class. It was like California. It was
all upper class and all lower class. Now it's
robust. Now there's just a bunch of killers that
are just moving here all the time. There's this
guy, Nick Murphy, moved from Atlanta. What year
did you move here? 2021. I moved here early.
I got on a Zoom. I got with Dylan Sullivan. I
used to play this. I used to play. We used to
play Game Nights in the pandemic online with
our friends because we weren't allowed out. Right.
And so he pulled me aside one day on Discord
and was like, you got to move here. And he made
the pitch. And then I was like, I was pretty
much there. And then Derek moved here and he
was like, you got to. And this was just when
we're doing shows out of the Vulcan. This is
just shows of the Vulcan. This was just – but
it was indoor shows, man. And so I moved here
and then I was like – because the way I looked
at it was like, look, either I'm going to – like
LA is going to reopen and I'll be working at
the comedy store again and we'll have at least
gotten up in that time and gotten paid to go
up because they pay for every spot here if you're
booked. So it's like at least got paid. And so
I was like – and then I'll go back to LA. A little
glitch. But – So when you came here, it was just
like, look, I'll get some spots, I'll get paid,
and if the comic store reopens, I'll go back.
Yeah, I'll go back. The club was still two years
away from opening, but it's like, I'll stick
it out to the club and see what happens. We were
just starting to talk about a club back then.
Right. Yeah, you would put it on the universe,
and that was enough for me to be like, I think
he's going to get that done. And so I took a
chance, and it ended up working, and then I ended
up being one of the first people passed through
there, which ended up being huge. Huge blessing
because now there's so many killers that it's
like hard to get into the mothership Yeah, there's
so many like people who've moved It's like it's
I almost tell people like it's a major city in
that way in the sense of like if you can Get
good where you are first and then move to Austin
That might be better now than a blind move to
Austin. Right, as an opener. Yeah. As a beginner.
As a beginner. Yeah, it's hard as a beginner.
Yeah. It's like L .A. was for a while. Oh, L
.A. is super tough. I imagine New York is super
tough as well. The store was really tough. If
you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots,
like, bro, you got to do spots somewhere else.
Right. You really should be better. You're better
off coming there with potential. Like, you've
already gotten a few years under your belt. Than,
like, trying to figure it out. Because the L
.A. mics are especially brutal. The thing is,
man, if you guys didn't come, it wouldn't have
worked. Like, that was the thing. It's like,
the people that really are responsible for the
movement, the crazy new scene here, are the ones
who came before the club was open. Brian Simpson,
Tom Segura. Segura was here early, man. I told
him about it. He's like, I'm fucking moving.
And then, bam, I was like, whoa. And when Tom
moved, I was like, that's a big deal. You know,
because Tom was... already doing arenas. It required
a certain amount of people to buy in. Because
of that, I'm very pro -Austin. Man, if you buy
in, look what can happen. No one should not be
pro -Austin. It's funny because Lewis and Tony
were going back and forth and arguing. Lewis
shits on the Austin scene. This New York versus
Austin thing is the stupidest fucking thing of
all time. They should both be awesome. Who cares?
Yeah, it's unnecessary. Unnecessary infighting.
It's like catty girl fighting. We both clearly
can exist in a space where we can also help each
other. The New York guys are always here, and
I feel like we're always there. But the point
is, Tony and Lewis were going back and forth,
and Lewis said, well, L .A. isn't even into consideration
anymore as what's the best place for comedy in
the country. And Tony goes, agreed. And why do
you think that is? What do you think happened?
Where'd those people go? And Lewis is like, oh,
shit. But, you know, I will say this because
I was just in L .A. I like where the L .A. scene's
at. It's rebuilding stronger. Of course it is.
Yeah, yeah. It's the store. It's LA. It's Hollywood.
It goes through dips. It's done it before. When
I got there, it was at a low. When I came in
94, the OR was half empty. Main room was never
full. Oh, and then there was no big talent there.
It's always like that. It comes, it goes. New
people come up. It's legendary. It's got a vibe
to it. It creates comedy just by existing. Yeah,
it's like, it's still, every time I'm there,
I'm like, man, this is the fucking place. It's
the fucking place, man. That's been the place
since 1970 -something. That place is crazy. Yeah.
The building is alive in that place. That's crazy.
Yeah, you feel it. It's soaked with the memories
of Kennison and Hicks and Pryor. Here's what's
crazy. You know the bucket seats in the back?
Yeah. If you go during the day, they might have
repainted the wall. So this is when I worked
there. But when you go during the day, because
I'd get there early and like right or whatever,
and you can look where the bucket seats are.
The outline of all the heads, because of all
the oil of the people leaning back, was just
there. So you were just there, and it's just
the energy of all these great comics just in
the room with you. Yeah. It was an interesting
place to be during the day, because you could
sort of feel it. The store is a very special
place. Very special place. You never get to take
away from that. But the thing is, it's like...
It should be, and it will be even better than
it used to be, I'm sure. But the point is, it's
like denying that Austin is an amazing scene
is just stupid. Yes. It's just stupid. And also,
don't you want another great scene? Do you want
a limited amount of options for comedians? Don't
you want more comics and more comedy? Right,
and more places for you to end up performing.
Shut up. Now you can go to Austin and spend a
couple weeks there and get a lot of time and
learn how to talk to people here. There's so
many bitches in this world. So many bitches.
And those bitches never get anything done. They
just sit and bitch. Nothing ever gets done. Yeah,
yeah. They never progress. Yeah, man, just video
essays. I watch all the video essays. That's
so funny. Why would you watch those? It's just
so funny to me because they all start, the whole
concept that Austin has ruined comedy is very
funny to me because there's so many comics that
are blowing up outside everywhere all the time.
It's just silly. It's like my friend said, it's
a walled garden. That's what it is. It seems
like the people are having too much fun. And
if you're not there and if you don't have aspirations
to be there, you feel bad about it. When I lived
in Boston, the store was like Mecca. People would
talk about it. It was like you had to make the
pilgrimage to the comedy store. It was one of
the first things I did when I came to L .A. Oh,
no, it's a big deal. The first time you go there,
I remember looking at it and being just the feeling
in my heart. The first time I went there, I hadn't
even moved there yet. I went there just to watch.
I told them I was a comedian from New York. I'm
like, can I go and watch a set? I'm like, yeah,
sure. And they let me come in, and I sat in the
back and watched, and it was like, Bodax. It
was terrible. It was really bad. It was like
a bunch of cruise ship acts, like a bunch of
guys who had the same act from the 1970s. You
know those dudes that, like, you'll see them
at the store occasionally now that have an act
from the 80s? Well, these dudes, it was like
a decade earlier. Yeah, when I worked at La Jolla,
there was one guy that they booked that they
had, like, some deal with Mitzi that he got to
perform once a year at the La Jolla. And, man,
you could just tell, man, it's been... You haven't
changed this act since the 70s. Yeah, they just
never evolved. And they weren't getting spots
when Kinison was around. The place was packed.
And then Kinison left. And then he had a billboard.
He put a billboard right in front of the comedy
store of his new album that was coming out. Why
did he leave the store? Oh, I don't know. He
probably did something stupid. Okay. I think
he definitely fired off a gun because I remember
he shot the... The bullet hole is still there.
Yeah. I heard they fixed the sign though. No,
it's back. They fixed the plastic. Yeah, they
might have. I think the plastic was falling apart,
but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet
hole is still there. Okay. Yeah, I went and looked.
I made sure. Pretty crazy. The kid is in bullet
holes like part of the thing there. Yeah. But
the... Crack glass was also part of the thing.
Yeah, but I think eventually it just fell apart.
It's been like 40 years since that happened.
I mean, that might have got him banned. Not sure.
But then he was banned. And then when I came,
it was 94, so he was already dead. He was dead
and Hicks was dead. So it was weird. Okay, and
so that's what the lull was from? They were just
kind of missing that top -level guy? Yeah, there
was a lull. And guys would occasionally drop
in to work out. But they didn't put their name
on the marquee. No one ever knew they were going
to be there. Like Chris Rock would come in and
work out. Damon would come in and work out. But
the big comics that were there, like Don Marrero
would stop in. There was guys that would stop
in. But then it was mostly us younger guys. Holtzman.
Was a big part back then. I can't imagine Holtzman
as a young guy. I mean, me and him, we're only
a few years different. It feels like he's just
looked like that since he was a kid. He did look
like that. He was a throwback. He looked like
he was from the 1950s when I met him in 94. Yeah.
Like, slick back, dark hair. Right. Always the
best. Always a nice guy. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's
the sweetest guy in the world. There's something
about guys who are like that on stage are always
super sweet off stage. Because they, like, truly
get all the venom out. It's like William Montgomery.
If you watch William Montgomery on stage, he's
a raving lunatic. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that picture.
Oh, wow. Look at Holtzman to the right with a
suit on. Oh, my God. And a poly. Who's next to
you? Look at that. Freddy Soto. That's Freddy
Soto. Damn. Boy, that was probably like 96. Wow.
Crazy. Yeah, Brian does look the exact same.
He looks the exact same. He had jet black hair,
and he would... You know what he kind of looks
like? That's his head shot. There's this guy
on Instagram where his whole thing is just he
pretends to be a greaser. Oh, really? Yeah, but,
like, unironically. And that's kind of what he
looks like. But it's really funny because all
his comments are just like, yo, show us that
hog. Like, that's become the—he does, like, greaser
shit. And then all the comments are like, but
how come—where's the hog reveal? Why his hog?
Yeah, it's become, like— That's funny. He's so
unironically trying to be a greaser that the
comments came up with their own sort of culture
around him. So it's comedy accidentally. Yeah,
they're kind of mocking. They're all kind of
making fun of him. But he's genuinely trying
to portray this guy, this greaser guy. He's like
Mike the Greaser or something like that. It's
so funny. Well, Holtzman was just, I thought
he was going to blow up, man. I really did. I
was like, oh, this guy's going to be fucking
huge. This guy's going to be gigantic. There
was a few guys back then that I was like, that
guy's going to be big. Did you ever see Mike
Ricca? No. The early 90s, Mike Ricca was great,
man. I don't know what happened. I don't know
what happened with him. I don't even know if
he does comedy anymore. Yeah, it's so easy. People
fall off all the time. Because it is brutal.
The game is brutal. It can be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but you have to have something brutal outside
of the game to keep you centered. You should
do something else that's also difficult. For
me, it's obviously working out. That's a big
part of what keeps me sane. I think it's important
for mental health. The people that are the most
mentally unhealthy and unstable that I know control
of their body none of them exercise they don't
eat well they eat terrible food they take medications
and they're all fucked up in the head and then
little things can send them off a deep end once
a person makes a mean tweet about them and a
couple people pile on they want to jump off a
building right you know there's a bunch of those
people out there and i think like with the pressures
of this job you have to for your own sanity you
have to find some sort of an outlet Find some
sort of a thing. Or, like, take a walk. That
too. Yeah, yeah. That'll help, but it should
be something that's a little bit that you exert
yourself. Well, I was like, that's a good place
to start if you're one of these people that,
like, don't do, like, just a simple walk can
really get the ball rolling. Don't jump right
into CrossFit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing, couch
to CrossFit. Yeah, just be outside and, like,
smell the air and be, or so, because, like, does
your phone send you the screen time updates?
What do you mean? Like, so my phone will send
me, like, a weekly, like, this is how much you
spend on your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
For me, it's like, damn, this is like a full
-time job that I'm spending on my phone. It's
a lot. It's disgusting. And I have to just remind
myself, like, oh, the reason I feel bad is because
I'm on this. 100%. I'm on this, and I'm consuming
a fake reality that, like, I think one of the
most dangerous things that the phone, like, the...
online existence does is it calls like people
like call their fans and stuff a community and
it's not really a community your community or
it has to be people you see in person it can't
be this online possibly fake fan club basically
well it can't certainly can't be a large percentage
of your interactions with people that's nuts
but i mean there is some sort of a community
that you kind of cultivate by interacting with
people on social media it's just at what price
Right. And then how much are you doom scrolling
other than interacting with people and having
like semi -positive experiences communicating,
like sharing ideas? How much of it is just doom
scrolling? Right. For me, it was a lot. And so
I backed off it heavy. So I still spend a lot
of time on YouTube, though. My distraction time
is almost all YouTube. No, I'm a doom scroller.
Yeah, because you get caught. You see one thing
and you're like, it's so easy to just do that.
It is, but I don't want that because it makes
me feel weird. But YouTube doesn't make me feel
weird. So if I watch some really cool video on
ancient history or something, I never feel bad
at all. I'm like, oh, that was cool. I don't
come out of it with any negative feeling. I just
come out of it like, oh, that's interesting.
I learned something. YouTube is like the modern
television now. Oh, it's fucking phenomenal.
That's the one. Phenomenal. There's people making
high -quality things. Sometimes I'll get caught
up in things that I don't, even care about. I'm
not a huge horror movie fan. I like movies, but
I found this one page called Nightmare Movies,
and he just explains his favorite horror movies,
and he has a great voice, and I've watched all
of his videos. Zero interest in watching any
of the movies. I'm interested in watching him
react to the movies. Really? Yeah. What's really
dope on YouTube also is these little short horror
movies that people make on their own. Like real
super low budget, but like really interesting
ideas. There's a ton of them, man. Right. Some
of them are fucking great. They're really cool.
They're like eight minutes long. They're two
minutes long and they can just get you. Yeah.
There's so much entertainment. I like watching
people make furniture for some reason. I really
do. I love watching people make like live edge
tables and shit. I don't know. Yeah, it's just
like, oh, this tickles me. I like watching people
cook. I watch a lot of cooking. Everyone's entertainment
is so in their own lane that you can come across
a video and be like, 8 million views and you've
never even seen it. True virality is tough. In
the future, are there going to be even A -list
celebrities like that? What do you mean? Or it's
going to be... There's going to be less and less
like what you describe as an A -list celebrity,
right? Sure, right. Because everyone has their
own sort of lane. Well, there's more celebrities
now than there ever have been before, for sure.
There's more, let's just say, famous people.
Right. There's more people that are known. Than
ever before because of social media. Think about
all the streamers and YouTubers and podcasters.
Oh yeah, Austin has a huge streaming scene. Yeah,
it's insane. So there's that. So that muddies
the water. Because you go back to like, let's
go back to like 1960 when Paul Newman was a superstar
making movies. How many fucking Paul Newmans
were there? Right, yeah. Was it 10? Yeah. On
Earth? Right. If you wanted to make a big movie,
you got Marlon Brando, Paul Newman. You have
a few people. Like a star on Sidney Sweeney's
level now. Right. Back then, that would be a
name to sell movies. Now, there's movies that
she's in that people don't watch. Right. And
that's what an A -list celebrity is now. There's
so much stuff you're competing with. There's
so much content, just period. I'm always watching
a new show. There's always a new show. And they're
fucking great. There's so many great shows. Or
not even just random Instagram accounts. Dude,
I watch this guy's Sandwiches of History. All
he does is he finds a sandwich book from like
some of them from like the early 1900s and just
makes a sandwich in them. Is any of them good?
Some of them are amazing and some of them suck
ass. Some of them are like, some of them are
like depression era. You know what I mean? It's
like bread and sawdust or whatever, you know,
like, but some of them are, some of them are
like, damn, that's like a good sandwich. And
I just watch this guy eat sandwiches and be like,
this is. This is a great use of my time. Making
an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here. 1921.
So you take orange peels, you mix it up with
mayonnaise, and you spread it on bread. Let's
see his face. He always goes, I'll give this
sandwich a go. He has like a catchphrase. I'm
all about it. Hmm. Okay. It doesn't look like
he likes it. It's a terrible idea. That's a terrible
idea. Orange peel sandwich the fuck out of here.
Well, that's what people ate. Yeah, you're starving.
You're starving, you're eating an orange peel
sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sandwich was
made by a guy who was in a hurry, right? Wasn't
that the idea? Just threw some fucking meat in
some bread to eat it all together? Yeah, I think
so. And then the people were like, wow. Wasn't
his name sandwich or something? He was like the
Earl of Sandwich. I think it was a sandwich with
a place. Something like that? Yeah. As I'm saying
that. Is that real, though? Is that just like
goofy? We definitely searched this before. Isn't
there an Earl of Sandwich? No, there 100 % is,
but it's also like a store, and I'm just like,
is that even maybe just like a silly myth? I'll
tell you what, if the sandwich didn't originate
with the Earl of Sandwich, what a mighty coincidence
that is. What a real deal crazy coincidence.
If there is an Earl of Sandwich, what is the
origins of the term sandwich? I'm stuck looking
at the Earl of Sandwich. Okay, so the Earl of
Sandwich exists. But just put into perplexity,
what are the origins of the sandwich? I'm pretty
sure it was like a military guy. Yes. And he
was like, fuck it, just give me the bread and
the meat. I'll put it together. And he cut the
bread open, stuffed it in there. Because I think
they used to just eat bread and eat meat. They
just ate bread by itself. They were too stupid
to combine them. Yeah, very autistically. Keep
the food separate. 18th century England named
after John Montagu. The fourth Earl of Sandwich.
Someone is the Earl of Sandwich. During a prolonged
card game in 1762. Oh, that's right. He was gambling.
That's right. Now I remember. Oh, well, now that
gambling is so fucking massive now, what cool
food is going to come out of that? That's already
here. All the fast food Uber Eats will deliver
it right to your table. Allowing him to eat without
interrupting play, the practice creation popularized
the handheld meal among England's elite. There
it is. Oh, that's so funny. It used to be an
elite food. Oh, so it looks like the Romans had
it before. It says similar concepts predated
Montague, such as the Roman ophela, which involved
meat or cheese between bread slices. That's a
sandwich. Right. He just didn't call it that.
Huh. Okay. They finally had a name that stuck.
Is there a current Earl of Sandwich? I bet there
is. Yeah. Imagine if he's gluten sensitive. That's
what I was digging through was this, but I didn't
get any good information from it. Well, now we
know. You want to talk about places to eat, Austin
has an amazing fucking selection of places to
eat. During the day, the night leaves a little.
Yeah, late night. There needs to be a late night
diner out here. Well, we were talking about that
last night. One of the things I really miss about
LA is the Jewish delis, like Cantor's. Yes. We
used to go there after a club. We'd leave, and
we'd go to Cantor's, and I would get a pastrami
Reuben with steak fries. Oh, my God. Have you
ever had a pastrami Reuben from Cantor's? Yeah.
Good Lord. That's what you get at Cantor's. Good
Lord. It's good. Yeah. I mean, it might be the
best pastrami Reuben on earth. It's right up
there with Cat's Deli in New York City, which
is maybe the king. Oh, I've never been there.
Oh, Lord. Cat's Deli in New York City is fucking
legendary. First of all, you get a ticket when
you get there. I don't even know if they accept
credit cards. You might have to pay in cash.
Oh, I like that. You get a ticket when you get
there, and you can't lose your ticket. If you
lose your ticket, you got to pay like 50 bucks
because you take that ticket, and on that ticket,
they write all the things you get. So you go
up to the counter, and they're like, we're going
to get you. And there's guys that have been fucking
chopping meat since the 20s. And they'll slice
you off a couple of pieces of brisket. get slice
you off a couple of pieces of pastrami and you
get to eat it while you're there while you're
waiting for your sandwich to be made and you
know you tell him what you want and he pulls
the fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it
up in front of you it steams coming off of it
he's piling it on that rye bread you're like
You can't wait, and then he gives you a couple
pickles in there, and then you're like, what
else do you want? And then you move down the
line. Like, can I get an order of fries? Can
I get an order of fries? I want a root beer.
And then you get to the end, and they put it
all on your ticket. And then when you leave,
after you've eaten, then you bring the ticket
up to the counter. Ah, okay. So it's food plus
accountability. You have to keep track of stuff.
It's a weird old system, so nobody pays attention.
So everyone loses their fucking ticket if you're
from out of town, if you've never been. in there
before. You're like, what? The ticket? What?
What happened? How much is it? It's a way to
scam the tourists a little bit. It's like a tourist
fee, not a scam. Well, I just think it's how
they used to count back then. They just never
changed it. It's kind of the charm of the place.
It's got this weird thing. Show me some canter
sandwiches, son. Show me some of that. When I
was a door guy, we were big swingers, guys. Show
me Katz's. That was the diner we went to. Swingers
was great. That was a great diner. That was a
great diner. Really good food. And that was open
pretty late, too. Look at that, son. Are you
fucking kidding me? Look at that pastrami with
Swiss cheese. Oh, Lord. That's so good. And they
piled it up high, and they've been doing it that
way since the fucking 1800s. How old is Cantor's?
1888. 1888? Jeez. 1888. Look how good that looks.
Oh! You can see how she's pulling it like that.
The flavors. Oh! Yeah, see, this is what Austin
is definitely missing. Yeah. They need something
late night, something that we can all eat, where
you can go and hang out. Now, I had heard that
someone was opening a Cat's Deli in Austin, right?
But I don't think it's Cat's Cat's Deli from
New York City. No, it's just called Cat's Deli.
Cat's never closes? Oh, coming soon. Hold on.
Go back. Coming soon on 6th Street. How far is
that from us? Well, we're on 6th. It's on West
6th. It's on West 6th. So it's like near. It's
taking over our current spot. Yeah. What's that?
It's taking over us. I think there's like a bar
there or something now. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's
kind of near where. Opening in the same location
as the OG Cats is operated for 32 years. So it's
way down by Jay Carver's. Yeah, but that's a
five -minute drive. Yeah, you can walk there.
We do that all the time. Katz never closes. But
that was August 18th. Has there been any news
since? Is it open? No, no, no. It's going to
take a year. Oh, it's going to take a year. Oh,
they're building it out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa.
There's a few places like that that got the name
out, and it's going to be open in a year and
a half. So was there an original Katz's never
closes? That's the one. That's where it was.
It closed in 2011. So they lied. No, what do
you mean? Fucking closed. Yeah, cats sometimes
closes for 15 years. By the way, I would have
never allowed them to use a K for closes. Like,
guys, we're not kooky. Stop. Yeah, you're not
Krispy Kreme. Yeah, why are you doing that? So
expected in 2026, maybe 2027. Well, hopefully
they are. Because that's the big hole right now
in the Austin game. Look at it, though. This
is it. New York -style deli menu with sandwiches
like Reuben's, day -long breakfast dishes like
waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes, entrees including
pork roasts and meatloaves. Oh, my God, it sounds
amazing. Open 24 -7. All right. That'll be it
for us. That'll be it. Finally. Finally. Because
that was the big hole. Outside of that, Austin
has, like, amazing food. We should help them.
But, yeah, after 10 p .m., it gets rough pickings
around here. Yeah, let's blow them up when they
open up. A lot of halal carts, which I wouldn't
expect in Austin. That's such a funny. Going
through there, I wouldn't be like, oh, halal
carts would be a good way I get late -night food.
Entrepreneurs. Yeah. Dudes recognize the need.
Yeah. There's the only things you can get. Oh,
there's Golden Tiger. That's great. They're open
pretty late, right? They're open until like 1
.30. Yeah, that's pretty late. That's pretty
good. The comic life, you're like out at 2. I
know. Looking for food at 2. Yeah, at 2 and you're
like, well, thank God the... The Mexican hot
dog carts people are here. Right. Yeah, that
happened recently. They started showing up. Yeah,
there's always smart people that capitalize.
Because there's always, I mean, there's just
so many people walking around drunk. Right, just
looking for stuff. Especially 6th Street. You
got a taco truck, you can kill it. Oh, yeah.
On 6th Street? Oh, at 2 in the morning, all the
fucking zombies. And there's that road when you
go up to 7th where when you're headed towards
Creek, there's a whole parking lot that's got
a bunch of food. trucks up in there. My favorite
place is called Diddy Dog. They got bulgogi fries.
Bulgogi fries. Bulgogi fries. Isn't there a really
good cheeseburger place over there too? Oh, yeah,
there's the Yala Burgers. They're pretty good.
But for me, downtown, if I'm eating downtown,
I'm eating the bulgogi fries. That good, huh?
Oh, yeah. There are a lot, so I can't get them
very often. Now that I'm older, I'm like, oh,
yeah, I have to take care of myself. But when
I first moved here, I was on that bulgogi fry
diet, son. It's kind of insane how many great
restaurants there are here, though. It's like,
the number's nuts. Yeah, and good casual eating
places, too. It's like you can really – everyone
who moves – I call it – when you move to Austin,
there's the freshman 15. Just from eating here?
Just from eating here. You just get it. And then
after you live here for like five years, you
get – I think you just get so tired of brisket
that you can't look at it again for a while.
I eat so much brisket that I only go now when
like out -of -town people are here. That's funny.
I could eat it 24 days out of a month. I'll take
six off. Oh, no. I love it. Yeah. Sometimes the
Terry Blacks will come to the green room and
I'll be like, I can't look at this right now.
Oh, no. This is like day three in a row of Terry
Blacks. Not to complain, but it is funny. Terry
Blacks has those beef ribs, dog. That's their
best. Those beef ribs are insane. I do describe
it. You got to take every tourist. It's like
the Disneyland of Austin. Yeah. Yeah, it's a
line that moves quickly. You can see how everything's
made. And it's a fucking huge place. I think
they're like the highest volume restaurant in
the country. Really? Yeah, I think in terms of
like brisket and barbecue and stuff like that.
They were telling me that. I forget what the
exact statistic they told me, but it was like
the volume of food that they served there is
like as high as anywhere in the country. That
makes sense. There's always a line there. Giant
line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they always move
quickly, so they're always getting people in
and out. Well, you can only eat so much. When
you sit down and eat barbecue, you ain't sitting
there for three hours, bitch. No. No. And you
also always get more than you can eat. Yeah,
you're always like, yeah, because it looks so
good up there. And then, like, the second you
have, like, their cornbread, you're so full.
What the fuck is that? Especially those beef
ribs, man. They're so rich. You can only eat,
like, so much of it before you're like, oh. Oh,
yeah, yeah. Not before a show. That's always
a mistake that people make. Bro, last time we
had a whole group of us, I made the mistake of
sitting next to Metzger, and I was in the corner.
He was just fucking looming over me with conspiracy
theories. I'm like, Kurt, you got to stop. Enjoy
these ribs. You got to stop. I don't know if
it's just the Terry Blacks in Austin because
I know they have one in Dallas, I think, too.
But it says 18 % of America's brisket is served
by them. 18 % of America's? That's so much brisket.
That's crazy. Matt's got a fun one in the green
room. My favorite is when he'll be like, I thought
this was common knowledge. You don't know? Yeah,
you don't know. There was something he said in
the green room the other day about Morgan Freeman.
Some deep conspiracy about Morgan Freeman, and
we're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
It's like, well, I thought this was common knowledge.
It's like, no, no one knows anything about what
you're talking about. Is it the Morgan Freeman
dated his granddaughter or some shit like that?
Yeah, step -granddaughter. Step -granddaughter.
Yeah, dated her, and then the boyfriend went
crazy and killed her. And he was like, I thought
that was common knowledge. It's like, what do
you mean? Is that true, the boyfriend went crazy
and killed her? That's what he said. I looked
at it afterwards, and I was like, I don't know
where. Kurt gets his news plugged in straight
from the Matrix, I think. I don't even know where
he finds his stuff. Well, he's on that Jimmy
Dore show. And Jimmy Dore show, the entire show,
is about exposing corruption and conspiracies.
It's a lot. Yeah. You live in that world all
the time. Then everything becomes a conspiracy
and everything. It doesn't leave a lot of room
for sunshine. Also, here's the thing. There's
enough conspiracy. Like we talked about the Franklin
scandal. There's enough conspiracies that are
absolutely real and provable that if you go into
it, you will kind of go crazy. Right. I mean,
this is what kind of happened to Alex Jones.
This is what happens to a lot of people that
get involved in conspiracies. It's like you find
out how many of them are true and you start losing
your fucking mind. You're like, what is real?
Like, what really controls the world? What fucking
lizard people are really at the center of this
whole thing? Right. Yeah. This is kind of better
to just stay away at a certain point and just
be like, eh. We should probably pay attention
a little bit, but some people must have an obligation
to do it because if it doesn't get exposed, then
it's going to continue. And the only way that
you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people
have to get busted and they have to be held accountable.
The public has to get outraged. So someone has
to be making these videos. But it doesn't have
to be you. Right. Yeah. For your own personal
mental health, it's just not good to absorb all
of the evil of the world. Yeah. There's no reason
to take that on. There's no reason. Just find
happiness in your lane. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like
that's pretty easy to do. Yeah. I feel like that's
pretty easy to do. Yeah. Just be happy with where
you are. And work from there. Yeah, but it's
just like some people feel obligated to be a
part of something, you know. The thing about
like with Metzger is like he wasn't always like
this. I was friends with him long before I started
working with Jimmy. And he was, you know, fun
and crazy, always like the same kind of guy.
But now it's like the obsession is all on deep
corruption and conspiracies. It's like, yo. But
he's right. He's right about a lot of it. Right.
Which is nuts. And he maintains a lot of it in
his fucking brain, just bouncing around in there
like. But yeah, but I mean, it just takes over.
I do think. White Precious, his Comedy Central
special, that's low -key one of the most underrated
specials of all time. That special was great.
He's very funny. That special was great. He's
very good. His writing's very good. He's just
very smart. He's a great podcast guest, too.
Basically, just got to kind of corral him a little
bit. Because he'll go from one subject to the
next subject to the next, all in one rant. You're
like, okay, go back to that first one. Queen
Elizabeth did what? Yeah. You know? Yeah. He's
just well we have a lot of I mean, he's another
one that lives in Austin now. We have a lot of
them It's pretty cool. Yeah, it's uh, I'm it's
it's so it's so fun watching like all these like
young kids to like rise up and be like just like
find themselves it's so like I mentioned fuzzy
earlier, but just watching it on stage like he
does it it's so it's a great watching him just
like Figure out to not give a fuck And then see
what comes from that. Yeah. Like right now he's
doing these things at the end when he closes
out like Fat Man. He'll also do a Q &A, but he's
not famous. So the questions are so much funnier.
And like the answers are so much wilder because
it's just some guy that they all just met. That's
hilarious. Yeah. So it's a very fun dynamic to
watch his Q &As. Because the whole audience is
like, wait, we're doing a Q &A? Why? We had no
questions coming in. That's funny. Yeah. The
first time I ever saw anybody do a Q &A was Seinfeld.
Really? Yeah, he did a whole set. He did like
45 minutes. And then it was at the Paradise in
Boston. The Paradise was a small club. It was
a rock and roll club that was connected to Stitches.
And Stitches was the comedy club. So for the
comedy club, like if you're a regular comedian,
I think Stitches probably seated maybe 150 people.
It was like a little bit bigger than Little Boy.
So if you were a regular comic, like a road headliner,
you would do stitches. And then if you're a big
guy like Jerry Seinfeld who had been on television,
you'd do the Paradise. Okay. So I was with a
date. I think I was maybe 20, and I went to see
Jerry Seinfeld before I ever did stand -up. And
he did stand -up, and then he came back out,
and he answered questions. And he would just
riff with the audience. And it was fucking great.
It was really cool. He just started riffing about
stuff. I guess that's how he was creating material
and coming up with new premises. Yeah. Do you
get bits when you do that? Sometimes. Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's not an exact science. We'll
have a whole fun Q &A session for 20 minutes
and there's no bits. Right. And I'll do it five
times, six times, and then one time, bam, I got
one. And then you just got to grab that sucker
and reel it into the shore. Yeah, and just work
on it. Yeah, and then figure it out. Bottom of
the Barrel's the best. Bottom of the Barrel's
the best premise factory ever. Yeah, yeah. Oh,
yeah. I feel like, because there's certain people
who do it, like, I think you're, I mean, you're
great at it, and I feel like you should, like,
if you were thinking about doing a special, would
you ever consider doing a Bottom of the Barrel
type special? No, because I'd say too much wild
shit that I wouldn't want to get published. That's
a very fair point. That's a very, the most insane
shit I've ever said has been on Bottom of the
Barrel. And just like, I'm so glad there's a
place where I can get this thought out, because
they'll look at you. Like, yo, what the fuck?
And you're like, hey, this wasn't my idea. You
fucking wrote this down. Yeah, they get mad at
you. I remember one time I got bestiality, and
it reminded me of a story. So the way we consumed
porn as kids, because you guys had, like, magazines
you'd find in the woods. You have a bit about
that. Yeah. Yeah, that was not so weird. This
was, like, pre -porn hub. So these pre -YouTubes
of porn, as I call them. But there were these,
like, dedicated sites. They'd be like, one of
them was like Mr. Chu's Asian beaver. I think
you can tell what that's about. That one was
great. Probably run by a Jewish guy. Yeah, for
sure. Definitely not a Mr. Chu. There was at
the very end, there was this very racist cartoon
beaver. And he would have like the buck teeth
and the rice hat. And then he would rate every
girl out of fortune. Five fortune cookies at
the end of each video. That was the whole premise
of the site. That's what we were coming up with
in porn. And then one day, and we'd watch that
together in like seventh grade. Like that's our
huddling around the magazine. And then one day
we invited the weird guy and he had found one
where people fuck animals. Yeah. It was like
wild. And there's been very famous videos. I
think there's one called like Mr. Hands or something
like that. Yeah, yeah. There's very famous. Like
those originated out of those sites. And so he
was showing us that. And then what I said on
stage is it gave me the life experience to know
that sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog,
sometimes the dog enjoys it. And they all looked
at me like I was horrified, which is a kind of
horrifying thing to say. But I was also like,
well, you brought it up. Yeah. I wasn't going
to tell this story unless you asked me. Some
dogs must like it. There's probably a girl dog
out there that likes some dick. Oh, I mean, there's
probably a guy dog out there that's giving some
dick right now. For sure. To ladies? To some
crazy ladies. I've seen videos when I was a kid.
There was this video that a friend of mine had,
and I remember one of us had to watch the door.
Like a sentry? Yeah, because there's a door down
into the basement. So one of us had to stand
up at the door, and the rest of us were huddled
in front of this fucking... 12 -inch television
with a VCR attached to it. Damn. And you put
the VHS tape in there and we're watching like
a copy of a copy of a copy of Barnyard Betty.
And Barnyard Betty was this crazy, they took
some crazy crackhead and they gave her money
to suck a dog's dick and get fucked by a German
shepherd. It's a weird watch, man. Yeah. You
come across some weird shit out there. This dog
just pumped nut into this fucking poor Drunken,
sad, alcoholic, drug addict lady. Jesus. It was
sad. Yeah. Sad. Yeah, that's a... But that's,
yeah, that's how... Well, porn's fucked. It's
just so... It's so crazy how it's just moved
towards... I guess it's more empowering, I guess,
when it's about individual creators. Right, like
OnlyFans? Yeah. Do you know the numbers? You
ever seen the numbers? Oh, I saw the one lady
that makes more than LeBron. Yeah, that, but
I mean the number of actual girls that are on
OnlyFans. Oh, it must be depressing. It's crazy.
Yeah, and it must be depressing how many people
are selling themselves to nobody. Exactly. That's
the thing. The vast majority aren't making any
money. Right. And then their pussy's out there
forever. Just forever. Yeah, they're getting
fucked by a dildo in front of the whole world
and the guy saves it on his hard drive forever
and ever and ever and ever. Right. And you were
19 and you just didn't want to work. But I think
the number between girls of 18 to, I forget what
the age is, something in their 20s, it's like
10%. That's crazy. That's wild. But it's content
creation. It's like that's a genuine market that
people are going for, and that's the way to do
it. It's also pornography. It is pornography.
Right, but I mean content creation is TikTok,
Instagram. Right. You know what I mean? Like
that's content creation. I think they view it
in the same vein. Wow. Well, it depends on what
you do, right? I know that top lady, and this
is something. Sophie Rain. Sophie Rain. And this
is something that's just interesting across all
Gen Z is that her thing is that she's a virgin.
Right. And that's how she sells, which is like,
yeah, which, you know, take it for what it is.
But like her and that the Nick Shirley guy, virgin
Nick Fuentes, virgin. It's like that's like a
thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity.
Yeah. You were talking to me about this in the
green room that like this incel problem is unrecognized.
There's a giant percentage of people that are
like voluntarily celibate in this country. Yes,
I think so. And it's like a lot of it is maybe
this sort of new religious. This sort of religious
fervor that's sort of developing with them as
well because Gen Z is more religious. Yeah, but
aren't they horny? I don't get it. They're not.
There's something like some crazy amount of women
under 25 have never been approached by a guy
their age in public. What? Yeah, yeah. The game
is DMs, so it's all online, so it's all fueling
that sort of loneliness. Yeah, they don't go
out. Alcohol consumption from Gen Z to millennials
is like they drink 800 % less. Some crazy shit
like that. Third spaces, you know the concept
of a third space? No. Okay, so you have work
and home. That's space one, space two. And a
third space is like, you know, when I was in
college, we'd go to the bowling alley every day
for one summer. It was stuff like that. It's
a place that you can all go. The library, the
mall, places to exist outside of the two spaces.
Those places are completely disappearing. Whether
people are staying inside all the time or...
They've become too expensive. Movies now are
very expensive, so it's kind of priced out of
being a third space on top of all the things
that are going on with movies. So those are also
disappearing. So places where you can meet someone
in person are gone. So they're not meeting in
person. A lot of it is app -driven. And then
you've got to wonder about sex drive drop -off.
Well, you can access porn. like instantly now.
Right. So you can at least play that part of
your brain, give it something. Right. Give it
a rush of some kind that it would kind maybe
get from like a lesser version of sex, but still
fill that void. Right. But there's also testosterone
levels have dropped, like fertility levels amongst
women have dropped, miscarriages have risen.
The west, the west, the fertility rates in the
west are like massively concerning. People worry
about bringing in migrants, but at the same time,
they're the only ones having kids at replacement
level. The West isn't having that. I had my 15
-year high school reunion recently, and I was
in town. I was like, I'll go to this. And I was
like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's
not married and doesn't have kids. And most of
the people weren't married or didn't have kids.
How old are you now? 33. Wow. Yeah, most of the
people there just, I would say, yeah, didn't
have kids, which is wild. 33 at any other generation,
this is a late time to not have a kid. This is
pretty, for people who grew up middle class millennial,
I would say this is pretty standard to not have
a kid. And there's certain, I think, driving
factors, too. The fact that a house is unbuyable
for a lot of people my age and younger. Because
you're sold the dream on a house and two kids.
Well, if you can't get the house, like, it sucks
to be renting with kids. Right. You know, the
instability. Average home buyer age is increasing
while the median age for all U .S. home buyers
reaching 59. Yeah. Whoa, that's pretty late.
Yeah, record high. Late 2025. 40. Median age
for first time buyers hit a record high of 40.
Wow. Yeah, so it's like that's how long you have
to, like, it's hard to raise a kid without a
house, you know? That's crazy. And I think the
American community in that way is dying because
it takes a village to raise a child. So you raise
a child in a house you bought. Your neighbors
generally say the same. There's a certain level
of comfort and like, oh, my mom can do this thing
for me. I can go to my neighbor's house. And
you know what I mean? There's safety in that.
But if everyone around you is a renter, then
your community kind of disappears. There's no
set community. That's a really good point. And
it's like... Kids need consistency. So bringing
up in a world that's constantly shifting, it's
probably anxiety -inducing to people who can't
afford homes. For sure. Definitely on that. And
then childcare is expensive. Then if also your
friends aren't doing it, you know? And then women
are waiting later and later because they want
to prolong their careers. Right. And then it
becomes harder. And then you get into in vitro
fertilization. Yeah, there's definitely some
of this. with this wave of feminism and capitalism,
there's definitely some insidious ties there
of just like, you can work, create capital for
us, and then make it so it's impossible or very
hard for one working house spouse, just if the
man is working, to raise a kid. Do you think
it's on purpose? I think maybe it didn't start
on purpose, but I think it sort of became intertwined.
Well, isn't it just a side effect? If women want
to pursue careers, you're going to have less
children. But that is for sure. But there's a
thing about it. There's this like almost demonization
of the women who choose to stay at home. Like,
you know, it's like, oh, a trad wife. It's looked
down on. But isn't that just because of the women
that are pursuing careers that give them that?
that look down on. Yeah, that's true. And it's
probably because they secretly feel like maybe
they're missing out. Maybe. To me, it's so funny
that both can exist. It can be the woman that
go for their careers and the woman that want
to stay home. It's just for one group to demonize
the other, I think it's just very interesting.
Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like population
drop is a real thing. It does look like the humanity.
Have you ever seen that population curve of the
deer? Mm -hmm. Yeah, I think humanity is kind
of at that point where it levels off. Yeah, because
I remember my bio class today, which that would
be the exponential growth and then the level
off. And we've had the exponential growth, and
we're looking like that part of the graph. Well,
the thing is, there is still exponential growth.
It's just not in the West. That's what's kind
of weird. Right, right. It's poor people. Poor
people want to have a bunch of kids, and they're
having them all the time. Right. And then they
want to come over here. Yeah. Take over Minnesota.
And then have their kids in daycare. That doesn't
exist. Right. But yeah, there is something happening
in the West. Or like the way that like the South
Korea and Japan. Oh, they're fucked. They're
like fucked. They're like actually fucked. They're
like a couple generations away from like how
you're going to support this whole thing. Right.
Unless you let people in. Well, or you encourage
people to have kids. if you turn it around with
the youngest people and then you have like a
blip for a while, but then it gets back to it.
But man, you have to like make a concerted effort.
And how do you encourage people to have children?
Like, because you're going to have to have women
that don't pursue careers. Right. Right. If you're
going to have five kids, like. What are you going
to do? You're working all day? Right. That's
kind of crazy. Right. And when you have kids,
you realize how nuts that is because it's like,
man, your kids, they want their parents, you
know, and that's good for them to have their
parents around, especially in this world of predators
and creeps and weirdos. Right. And things that
can happen at daycare. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No,
it's, I don't know how they would incentivize
that to happen. How do you? Yeah. You can't really.
Yeah, because people are selfish. They want what
they want in their life. And, you know, when
Elon's like, oh, we're experiencing population
collapse. They're like, so what? Not me. Bye.
Right. I'm going to the movies with my friends.
You know what I mean? Like, the idea of changing
diapers. Like, I don't like her that much. Stick
around with her for the next 18 years. Yeah,
you also, when you have the ability to choose
everyone at your fingertips, it's like Netflix.
When you can watch everything, you watch nothing.
So we can choose everyone. You can't, you don't
commit to anything. Right. Yeah. It's just because
everything's these sort of superfluous, like
kind of deep relationships. I know a lot of people
that have used the apps and then found someone
and got off the apps. So there are people, but
generally they're a little older, right? Yes.
They're, they're like at a certain age, you sort
of like. Look for that. But in your early 20s,
when people were settling down in their 20s beforehand,
it made sense. They were the only person around.
But now you're in a city. It can be like in a
big one in New York where there's an endless
stream of people. There's no reason to make a
choice if you don't want to. I saw a video of
a lady who created an app where a man is allowed
to pay for her preparation for the date. So the
man sends her money so that she can get her nails
done, get clothes for the day, all these different
things for the day. And this lady set up this
app. Damn. I'm like, it's kind of prostitution.
I mean, it's sharp. I mean, it's kind of without
the guarantee of sex. I know. It's weird. You're
not just showing up. These are my clothes. I
drove here in my car. I'm meeting a person. No,
it's that person is paying me to prepare for
our date. Right. And creating me into a person
in his head. It's kind of dark. Well, you're
going to get a very different kind of person
that's going to meet you. You're going to get
a kind of person that's willing to give you money
immediately before he has any connection with
you at all. Right. Like he might meet you and
you're fucking super annoying. And he's like,
God damn it. I gave that bitch a hundred bucks.
That's so funny. That's Richard. Well, I think
it was Richard Feynman. He was talking about
getting girls because he was good at it. And
he was like, yeah, I never paid for the drink
on the first date. Wow. Never. Something like
that. That seems kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. That's not going to get a lot of quality
women. Ah, well. Maybe it was back then. It was
different. Yeah. And you're kind of famous. Yeah.
In your world. Yeah. He's a. famous, brilliant
guy. The scientists back then were all like rock
stars. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They
were all like just fucking everyone around them.
Isn't that nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was
normal. Just making the atomic bomb. Just fucking
losing their minds. That was the crazy thing
about the Oppenheimer thing, right? Oppenheimer
was a freak. Good for him. He's just out there
getting his fuck on. Yeah, fucking communist
chicks. Yeah. They're probably fun. Oh, yeah.
Especially back then, that's living dangerously.
That's the same level of cum as the gay Republican
senator. It's like, this is banned. Right, right,
right. How many gay Republican senators do you
think there are? I mean. Not zero. Yeah, for
sure. In the closet, not zero. No, definitely
not. It's usually, it is usually the ones that
are like the most pro. Like anyone who's like
still very pro anti -gay marriage now, like loudly,
it's like, what's going on here? Or really into
war. We got to get those Iraqis out of their
homes. Oh yeah, the fucking, just so, just war
hawks with Iran's going through it right now.
What's going on right now? Yeah, you don't know
what's happening in Iran? Well, I know about
the protests, and I know about killing the protesters.
Yeah, I mean, that's what, yeah. It seems like
there's some sort of a strike that may be imminent,
doesn't it? It feels like it. Like from us? Like
the United States, yeah. I think the U .S. is
kind of going to stay back for a little bit.
You think so? A week in Iran is, they're weak
right now because they're dealing with internal
strife. It's kind of crazy to see how many people
are on the streets. I mean. The average Iranian
civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal since the
50s, since we installed the Shah. Yeah. We installed
the Shah, and then Khomeini comes and is like,
hey, remember the democracy they stole from you?
Because we had deposed an elected leader. Well,
we'll bring it back. And they're like, okay.
And then the clerics just took over and fucked
them. And they've just been in a constant stream
of like the average of any incident is just getting
fucked by outside forces for so long. Well, it's
all about the nationalization of their oil. Yep.
They wanted to nationalize their oil. And we
were like, no, player. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck
that. You think you're going to have control
over your own state? Get out of here. You heard
Metzger's theory about Venezuela last night?
No. He's like, he goes, I think, I think Maduro
is secretly working for the CIA. He helped them
arrest him, and then he is going to testify that
the 2020 elections were rigged. Wow. If that
comes true, what a Babe Ruth call. What a point
to the sky that is. That's crazy. If that comes
true, I'm buying you a car. Find a car you really
like. We're going to get you a car. Yeah, that's
crazy. You need an American muscle car. I'll
get you a Mustang GT or something. But I will
say this. When the Iranians protest, it's admirable
because you know they're going to die. A lot
of them have already died. They killed thousands
of them. A lot of them died. And the same with
the hijab protests where just women were disappearing
for not wearing a hijab. It's like, damn, bro.
That's how bad it got. They really, like, they've
gotten a raw deal historically for the last half
a century, and they're still fighting. Yeah,
crazy. Yeah, I read, when I was a kid, I read
this book called Persepolis. It's in my, like,
greatest books of all time. But it's, I read
Persepolis, and I was, like, maybe in high school,
early, late middle school, and I just realized,
like, oh, man, because you get. Especially at
that time, we're fighting in the Middle East.
You get bombarded with propaganda of what these
people are like over there. And I'm reading Persepolis,
and I'm like, oh, right, they're just people.
She has this scene where she's just wanting to
listen to music with her friends, but the Islamic
police is like, we'll fucking fuck them up if
they get caught. And they just have these secret
parties where they're just listening to music.
Secret listening to music parties that can wind
you up in jail. Yeah, just regular things. What
is this? Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina
Machado insists that Maduro rigged the 2020 U
.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other
elections in the region. What? How? I saw that
going around, too, so I don't know that Kurt's
too crazy on that one. What? Yeah, this isn't
even the first one. This is just how I'm showing
you the data. How could Maduro rig United States
elections? Yeah, where is that power coming from?
All of a sudden, because if the power to rig
election, you think he would be able to stop
himself from getting arrested? This is from the
Gray Zone. It says Hugo El Polo Carvajal is likely
to serve as the star witness for the U .S. against
Maduro. Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a
coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to
save himself. He's even indulging the Trump Trump's
conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020
U .S. election. What's the gray zone? I think
that's Max Blumenthal's show. Okay, so that's
like a source? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. He's legit.
Okay. Yeah. Anti -war guy. So if he's saying
that, maybe there's something to it. Damn. In
what mechanism would Maduro be able to... That's
what I'm saying. To do an election. Okay, let's
find that out. How do they think Maduro had a
hand in rigging the 2020 election? What's the
conspiracy? Yeah, was it like he helped with
the mail -in votes? Right. Because that's the
only way you could steal that election, right?
Like, Venezuela's pretty far away. Here's a tweet
from before the election even happened. Nicolas
Maduro's campaign manager, this is from 2024,
just went on national TV to declare victory despite
exit polls showing a historic loss for their
socialist regime. They're setting up to commit
a bigger election theft in the 2020 election
in the United States. No, that's just someone's
opinion. Yeah, how does that add up? That they're
stealing the election in Venezuela. Yeah, because
they stole it in Venezuela? But they did steal
it in Venezuela. Yeah, that's for sure. What
does it say? It says he did clearly stole Venezuela's
election, threatened bloodshed if he lost, restricted,
what is that, intel? International observers.
Blocked transmission of results. Yeah, that definitely
happened. I mean, it was very telling how happy
the Venezuelans in America were when he was gone.
That was a genuine thing. very very pleased about
that yeah and then you had people you had like
white leftists be like this is bad yeah yeah
you're supporting a dictator it's like in the
way they did it was so unprecedented going and
stormed the fucking castle and steal the guy
yeah kind of shows the power like it kind of
tells also the other countries like hey back
off Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if
it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound
weapon, whatever it did that literally makes
your organs bubble. Everybody falls to the ground.
They're writhing in pain and agony, and then
they just stormed in, and everybody was incapacitated.
Damn. Stormed in, fucked everybody up, and that
was a wrap. Well, if that's what war is becoming,
that's kind of better. It's kind of crazy. That's
kind of better than ground troops and nonstop
fighting and 20 years in Afghanistan. OK, here's
lawyer Sidney Powell in 2020 talking about Maduro
having access to voting fraud technology. Maduro
is going to sing like a canary and the Democrats
are screwed. No wonder why. OK. Is that lady
even real? That looks like the person tweeting
this. See, this reeks of bot to me. Follow me
for breaking news. What do you know? Or just
guy account clearly just making stuff up. See
if you can find an account of how they did it.
Because there's an account by someone who is
a witness. That was there at the scene that said
how fucking crazy it was. These guys came out
of nowhere. The helicopters came out of nowhere.
The drones, they shut down all the radar. Everything
got shut down. And then all of a sudden there's
drones flying everywhere and helicopters. And
these dudes, 20 guys, killed, you know, who knows
how many fucking humans. Right. No one got. killed
on the american side they captured him and his
wife stuffed him back in the helicopter and they
were in and out in 10 minutes 10 minutes yeah
there's there's that there's a very famous video
of a twitch streamer in venezuela just out in
the streets and then everything just really yeah
whoa yeah it just goes dark that's crazy damn
that's crazy and yeah you can and you're a human
you can tell like oh something's up This is not
a normal, everything, like all the street lights,
it went just dark. Well, it's crazy because we
knew they had some really wild technology, but
we didn't know what they were capable of until
we've seen this. And we're like, oh. What's really
interesting is my friend Evan Hafer was talking
about that. like a year ago on the podcast, he
was talking about it, maybe less than a year.
He was like, if we go to war with the cartels,
like they have no idea what kind of ultra violence
they're in for. He's like the shit that these
guys are going to do when they get, when they
go plan this out, they had a, they built a replica
of his house and they went through it blindfolded.
Yeah. So they know exactly where every turn is,
where to go. They war -planned this for a long
time. The live streamer thing was a false story.
Oh, it was false? Which one? Oh, the live stream
going out? Yeah. Right, but find the account
of the witness. I stumbled across that on the
way to it. Okay. The account of the guy who said
he was there, if it's accurate, is crazy. Because
he basically said they just incapacitated everyone
and then just went in and murdered everybody
and pulled out Maduro. No one could move. You
can't do anything. And then these guys land in
helicopters, and everyone's writhing in agony,
like, dun -dun -dun -dun -dun, just running through.
Whacked everybody. No one got shot back at. Crazy.
Yeah, but I think that's what warfare, outside
of what's happening in Russia and Ukraine, that's
kind of what warfare is now, right? Like, oh,
is Israel going to go to war with Iran? We'll
just quickly just take out all their generals
real quick. And the threat of war is done. You're
dealing with Venezuela versus the United States
of America. Right. But if it was the United States
of America versus Russia. Or China, it would
be a lot different. It's a lot more fucked up.
Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs. That's
why you can get away with shit like this. Right,
right. Yeah, that's a fair point. That is part
of the thing, you know. And then it's like the
whole thing is so transparent. Trump's like immediately,
we're going to take the oil. There's plenty of
oil. Oh, yeah. Working on a deal. Yeah, I don't
think it was a coincidence that all of a sudden
I had gas under $2 last week in the gas station
across the street. I was like, huh, I wonder
if that's Venezuela related. Not in California.
California gas companies are pulling out. Valero
pulled out of California. It's going to cost
them $1 billion. And they're like, eh, rather
leave. Fuck you. Well, yeah, the cost of living
there is so high, too. When we talk about young
comics, it's like... What you have in Austin
is at least a much cheaper quality of life. And
better. And better, yeah, where you have space.
Things are more expensive than anywhere else
in Texas probably for sure, but it's still like
gas was under $2. Rent is stabilizing. It's going
down. It's going to go down. I think a lot of
California and New York developers came in here,
and they were like, Austin's where people are,
so we can just build a lot. But in New York and
California, you have a finite amount of space.
And also you can just build out, and once you
build out, like the rent at my place went down
because people were like, oh, I'll just buy a
house out there. Right. And no one's living in
the apartment complex. If you live in Dripping
Springs, it's way cheaper, and it's only 30 minutes
away. Yeah, exactly. Everywhere in the country,
30 -minute commute is normal. Right. Right, yeah,
it's normal. Here, what's nice about here is
you'll see something that's 15 minutes, it'll
be 15 miles. You'll be like, oh, that's normal.
That's normal. Elliot, that's an hour. Yeah,
it was an hour and a half. No, it was almost
two hours. I went from Redondo Beach to fucking
Burbank after a podcast at 5. And I was like,
oh, I should have just killed myself. That would
have been a more effective use of my time. Locked
up. Yeah, yeah. When the 4 or 5 or the 5 gets
locked up, it's depressing. Oh, it's hell. That
trip down to San Diego, if you want to do the
La Jolla store. You got to leave early. You got
to leave at noon. Leave at noon. Because that
means you'll be down in San Diego right around
the time rush hour starts. Yeah, yeah. Crazy.
Yeah, it's just a cheaper place for a young comic
who, if it's time to move to a place, it's like
Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality
stage time as well. It's also just a better vibe.
There's less tension. There's less people. Yes,
yes. I feel like there are times where I would
take a day off in L .A. and I feel like I'm falling
behind because everyone around you is so frantic.
And here it's like, oh, I can breathe. I can
actually just enjoy this day off, which is important.
You've got to have some kind of balance. You
want to be a little bit frantic, but then you've
got to achieve some balance and let your brain
sort of recalibrate, come back on, just get a
new perspective. Yeah, rest is so – this grind
culture. Before we get into this, though, same
kind of thing. I'll check the account. Fucked
up account. main proponent for the drive to recall
Gavin Newsom, California needs to rebuild the
better. So it might be a fake person. And then
there's no, there's no evidence to like a link
or where they got the information from, which
is why I just checked first, but they, they just
have a long story here. It just says interview
security guard. So it could be total propaganda,
right? Yeah. Made up for me. You know, you could
ask AI to make up a story. Right. I need a good
story to put on Twitter. Right. And then, yeah,
just... Have you tried to find it anywhere else?
Is it only from this one guy? Yeah, that's what
I was finding. It was Caroline Leavitt shared
it, and this is the... That's the main account
where she shared it from? Stop what you're doing
and read this. Nah. I Googled that, and she said
that a ton of times. How long has Caroline Leavitt
been the press secretary this whole time? Aren't
they... How quickly do they move past those?
They usually last about two years except for
that last lady. Except for the last one, yeah.
I wonder if that set a precedent. She decided
to hang in there to the bitter end. They were
trying to get rid of her. She sucked. St. Pierre,
right? Yeah, whatever her name was. It wasn't
St. Pierre. It wasn't St. Pierre. I thought it
was something like that. Karine Jean -Pierre.
Okay, it was something Pierre. It was something
Pierre, yeah, yeah. Bro, she was terrible. She
did it forever. And again, the president is committed.
The president, like she would do like the Obama
thing with her fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get
the fuck out of here. They just try. She had
to lie all the time. Like that's her job. Dead
person. Yeah. Yeah, that's hard to do. That's
pretty like, you know, you have to keep juggling
a lot to be like, oh, this dead person is still
alive. I thought he was going to die like immediately
after he left office. I'm like, he's going to
die soon, like real soon. Yeah, it's kind of
wild he's kept going. But every now and then
they'll trot him out and he'll start talking.
He'll be at an Eagles game. He'll be like, yeah,
you know what's going on. But every now and then
he'll talk. They still let him talk. There's
been a few of those where he'll talk like, thank
God you didn't win. Jesus Christ. If you came
back, if they never replaced Kamala with you
and you won or you and Kamala and you won and
you're this guy now. Well, yeah. Well, he fucked
them by not bowing out. Yeah. Yeah, it's like,
at least let them have a primary. Because then
it just became Kamala versus Trump and the whole,
like, oh, vote for me to fight fascism. But no
one voted for you in the first place. The thing
is, if they had a primary, who do you think would
have been it? They probably would have made her.
The Democrats would have decided on her anyway,
I think. Because it would have been too soon
for Newsom to run. He still has that stink of
COVID on him. So that's why he waited for this
go around. Yeah, it's been enough. People have
forgotten COVID enough. It's been half a decade
since. People's political memories are so short
that, yeah, 2028, that's so far away from COVID
that he can just be like, yeah, I did fine or
whatever the fuck. Do you think so? I think so.
Enough to run, enough to probably get the nomination.
You think he's going to get the nomination? Who
else? I feel like someone else can rise over
the next three years. If it had been an Obama
thing, it would be like someone would be rising
in this upcoming midterm. So if there's someone
like that, maybe. All it takes is someone who's
a compelling speaker who's not. demonstrably
full of shit. Because the thing about him is
he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate. When
someone starts talking about the fraud and waste
in California, how about the high -speed rail?
They spent billions of dollars on this fucking
nothing. Like, soon, we're going to get it done
soon. There's so much fraud. So much waste. Yeah,
but I don't think they have anything. Because
you can, right now, all you can, you can just
run on, like, I'm not Trump. And that'll be enough
to get people to be like, yeah, he's not Trump.
What about that Josh Shapiro guy, the guy who's
governor of Pennsylvania? Maybe. I don't know.
To me, it's just like a popularity contest, and
he's making a lot of noise. A lot of people are
upset at the Jews right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a fair point. Yeah. Shapiro? Hmm.
It just seems like. Hmm. Yeah. That's a good
point. It just seems like he's the one making
the most noise and we're getting towards crunch
time. Not really, but like it's the closer we
get to the midterms and there's no other big
voice. It makes me feel like it's going to be
him. Well, clearly he wants to do it. He definitely
wants to do it. Yeah. And he might just be powerful
politically enough to win that nomination. Imagine
if that guy fucks up San Francisco, fucks up
California, and then goes on to fuck up the whole
country. Oh, it's very possible. Maybe not very
possible, but I think it's an outcome. It's an
outcome. He's definitely running. It's going
to be – I don't know what that ticket's going
to be, but – They're going to make us all trans.
Yeah, it's going to be like a Newsom Crockett.
That's my early call of what they're going to
try to run. No, shut the fuck up. Are you kidding?
Yeah, yeah, I think so. Really? Yeah, yeah, I
think that's who they're – because she's very
revered. Not AOC? Maybe AOC. I think AOC is more
reasonable. AOC is much more reasonable. For
sure. Have you ever seen when Crockett and Marjorie
Taylor Greene start going back and forth with
each other, insulting each other and yelling
at each other? No. Oh, yeah, I did. I did see
that. That's a very fun moment. Nobody wants
to be a representative. That's the thing. It's
like all these successful business people and
academics, like they don't want to do that. No,
it's all like lawyers and like, yeah. And creeps.
And creeps. Yeah, that's the only. Well, it's
like it's one of those things where. You're right.
The person who wants to do it probably isn't,
or person who should do it probably isn't going
to want to do it. 100%. Because you do have to
make decisions that negatively affect millions
of people's lives sometimes. And you got to grease
the pockets of your donors. Yeah. And to be like
a regular guy and want to do that was probably
would tear you apart. To be like, ah, here's
a decision that'll kill people. You got to be
kind of a sociopath. What's really fucked is
how much of an impact people like us have on
elections now. That's what's nuts. Like, podcasters
have a big impact on elections now. Which is
really weird. That's how much the mainstream
media has kind of lost its lead. Dropped the
ball. Dropped the ball hardcore. Well, it's just
by being unreliable. Like, being people that
you can't trust. And uncensored conversation
is like, people are going to trust that more.
Because this is how people talk to their friends
more often than not. Yeah. Than like, oh, I can't
say this because this sponsor is going to be
mad at me. Right. This is just a much more accessible
way of finding out people's real thoughts. And
a lot of it is just how we talk. There's been
so many times we've been in the green room that
totally could have been a podcast. Right. Just
put a camera on it, live in the green room. It
would fuck up the vibe. But it would be a great
podcast. Yeah, it would. It would fuck up the
vibe. Yeah, it would lose that quality that would
make it a good podcast if we were trying to actually
podcast. Yeah, definitely. All right, brother.
Well, I'll see you tonight. I'll see you tonight.
And tell everybody your special. It's out. It's
on YouTube. It's on YouTube. It's called Too
Soon. Check it out. I'm very proud of this material.
It's great material, man. And you've been killing
it. You've been killing it at the club. And the
new stuff's fantastic, too. Thank you. And yeah,
go to Asana. Look at that hair. Look at that
hair. Every time I've been on here, I've had
different hair. Today I went cornrows. Yeah.
You've had the cornrows for a while now, right?
Just a week or so. I did it for a sketch, and
then I was like... I kind of like this. Yeah,
it's crazy for this hairline to have cornrows.
All right, my brother. Appreciate you. See you
tonight. See you tonight. Bye, everybody.