Welcome to this curated educational transcript of the Joe Rogan Experience. In this session, we provide a deep-dive examination of the critical perspectives and historical dialogues presented in Episode #1080. Our mission is to offer a high-fidelity, searchable research resource for students of cultural history, emerging technology, and global discourse. This transcript has been specifically optimized for academic reference, linguistic study, and archival preservation regarding Human Performance, Mental Toughness, and SEAL Team Endurance Protocols Five four three two one Boom and we're live.
Thanks for doing this man. I appreciate it. Thank
you for having me. I appreciate that You're the
only guy I've ever had in the studio where when
I showed up you were working out That's what
I do man. That's my life. That's my life. It's
pretty crazy though I mean how much time did
you have when you got here? I got here about
an hour early. Oh Okay. Yeah, okay. We got a
little early. So I got here shirt off doing chin
-ups. It was hilarious I didn't get my camera
out in time before you saw me. I wanted to take
some pictures Well, maybe next time next time.
Well, I'll catch you after the show You are a
guy that for a lot of people you sort of embody
the idea Hardening your mind and figuring out
a way To do things that most people think are
impossible That's you've sort of become that
guy Over your life and you've become that guy
for a lot of people including me online We've
talked about you on the podcast a ton of times.
So having you in here has been it's very exciting
to me I appreciate that. Thank you. How'd you
become that guy? You know what? I grew up not
that guy yeah so a lot of people put a title
on me they want to uh they see me now they see
me now as the guy that with his shirt off who
can do 4030 pull -ups in 17 hours you can run
205 miles in 39 hours who can do all this crazy
shit but what they don't understand is they don't
understand the journey that it took me to get
to this point and what got me to this point was
i was just the opposite of what i am today i
was that guy who ran away from absolutely everything
that got in front of me. But not many people
knew that. I had two people. Like the real me
was like this very scared, insecure, stuttering,
got beat up by his dad, all this kind of stuff.
And then I built this fake person that walked
around like my shit didn't stink, you know? Yeah,
so that's kind of how I did it. And through process
of time, I realized that I was lying to myself
and lying to people. But that it's a fascinating
journey though because you are that guy now,
right? You genuinely are legit badass right at
one point in time. You were a Legit terrified
person. Yes. So what was the process like how
did how did you step forth? Well, it's a it's
a long process, right? I My dad beat the shit.
I mean I was growing up. We I was the first black
baby born in this hospital called Miller Fillmore
in Buffalo, New York. My dad owns skating rinks.
He owned bars. He ran prostitutes from Canada
to Buffalo, New York. My dad was a big time pimp,
big time. Anything bad about a person, big time
hustler. He was American. You know, I'm with
him, Daniel Washington. He was that, but not
that bad. He wasn't that big, but that's what
it reminds me of. He was that kind of guy. And
beat the shit out of me, out of my mom. There
was an incident one time when my mom got knocked
out on top of the stairs and he drug her down
the stairs by her hair. And at six years old,
I'll never forget this. In my mind, I was always
afraid. My whole life I was afraid, but I had
this fucking voice, this conscience that would
always be battling me saying, hey, you gotta
get up and do something. I didn't wanna do shit.
I was just afraid, but I would... That voice
would force me to get up and my dad, you know,
I try to beat him up whatever at six and I get
my ass kicked. So this went on for several years
and I have a big time learning disability because
my dad didn't believe in us going to school.
So my dad, it was about the business, the skating
rink and the bar. So the skating rink opened
about seven o 'clock at night. And this is the
time I was able to walk. So about five, you know,
four or five, six years old, eight, nine, and
I go to the skating rink. seven o 'clock at night
and I worked the skating rink until 10 at night
and then we would scrape the gum off the floors
and we cleaned the whole skating rink up and
then my dad had an office and my brother and
myself would sleep in the office and my mama
would go upstairs and work the bar until three
o 'clock in the morning and then they cleaned
the bar up so after all that shit was done with
going to school rarely happened so when I went
to school I was all kind of you know my my learning
disability I had Social anxiety. I was just a
jacked -up kid from living in this tortured home
from the outside looking in we live in the all
-white neighborhood and then we would travel
to the ghetto of Buffalo New York with the skating
because that So we you know, we worked around
mostly blacks and I lived around mostly whites
But no one knew what was going on that house
that on 201 Paradise Road. You know, it's crazy,
but um My mom got courage to finally leave him
when I was about eight years old. We moved to
a small town in Brazil, Indiana. And that's when
the real war started for me. And Brazil, Indiana
is a small town, great people, a lot of great
people. And I say that because a lot of people
get offended. And I'm going to get to the point
where they get offended. There was about maybe
10 black families at about 10 ,000 people in
the town. And in 1995, the KKK marched in the
Fourth of July parade. So this was a Not everybody
was racist. There was a lot of good people, some
of the best people I knew was there, but there
was also a lot of racism there. So me being one
of the few black kids in that, you know, in that
area, you know, it kind of haunts you. I had
stuff on my notebook, you know, nigga, we're
going to kill you on my Spanish notebook. They
had that on my car, nigga, we're going to kill
you. This is early 90s. And so even though I
showed it didn't hurt me, it was jacking me up.
So all the insecurities I have when I was a kid
with my father, I moved into this area here and
It just got worse and worse and worse. And the
shit haunted me. And that voice that I talked
about, it kept talking louder and louder and
louder. But I was doing nothing about it. And
I decided to make moves. And I cheated all through
school. And it's kind of humbling to talk about
my stories sometimes. And it's also embarrassing.
But it's real. It's who the fuck I am. It's what
I am. It's what created me. and copy from the
fourth grade to my junior year in high school
on every assignment. And I want to get in the
military. I want to join the Air Force. And the
guy gave me an ASVAB test. It was like a watered
down SAT. And I couldn't copy on it because the
guy beside me had a test A. I had test B. The
guy on my right had test C. So I looked to copy
on this test, and I couldn't copy on it. So I
got like a 20. And I wanted to be an Air Force
pair of rescuemen. It's guys that jump out of
airplanes and save down pilots. It's a special
operator in the Air Force. And my score was so
horribly low that I had to retake it again. And
he said, hey, I got like an 18 the second time,
even worse. I need to get a 50 out of a 99. And
so my mom and I, for a while, we lived in the
government subsidized apartments, $7 a month,
and also food stamps. And we slowly moved up
to a $230 a month place. But at the time, we
were pretty poor. But my mom afforded enough
money for me to go to see a tutor one hour a
week. So for four hours a month, I had six months
to study for my last test. I'd only take the
ASRA test three times. And I studied my ass off
and passed it. And I got in the Air Force and
realized there was more things in front of me.
I was afraid of the water, terrified of the water.
I learned how to swim, but what gets everybody
in this training, in all special ops training,
is the water confidence, where they try to pretty
much drown your ass. You know, all of our lives
we've been breathing. And they take that from
you, and they want to see how comfortable you
are in the water. And there's only 1 % African
Americans in special operations. And I didn't
know anything about African, like a lot of them
are negative buoyant, which I am, because of
the bone density. I struggled. But I'm six weeks
in the program. There was about 25 guys left
out of about 150 I was there and I was never
I didn't go to sleep for six weeks the program
and I wanted to quit so badly, but I quit everything
in my life. I copied through school I want to
prove people wrong And so here I am in this Air
Force program starting to get a little more confidence
but this water was kicking my ass and Six weeks
in the program. The doctor gave me a blood test.
It was that sickle cell Sickle cell trait not
the anemia, but it still killed people But so
they pulled me out training for a week and when
you go from being very uncomfortable in that
water situation And then now you're comfortable
and I'm sitting back watching the guys drown
come not you know I'm not part of the activities
anymore for this week. I Don't want to get back
in that damn water again So the fear overcame
me and all my insecurities for my dad from this
small town from everything started coming back
And even though no one knew how fucked up I was,
to kind of create this other person who was tough,
I lived with this shit all the time. So me not
wanting to go back in that water, the doctor
called me back up. I thought I was going to get
like a medical kick out of the military. So no
quitting for me. They'll kick me out so I can
have some pride. The doctor said, no, man, we
could put you back in the training. And I was
like, fuck. But after a week, I'm like, you know
what? I missed one week. There's only three weeks
left. There's a good chance, you know, I could
tough this shit out and go on. But I went back
to the CEO and the command officer of the program
and the sergeant said, hey, you got to start
from day one because you missed that week of
training. And I broke. I broke. I couldn't imagine
going back through that again. So I made up a
lie. And I said, man, the sickle cell thing is
really scaring me. It was the fucking water.
It wasn't sickle cell. And I pretty much quit,
even though they gave me a medical. I quit. So
from the age of 19 to the age of 22, I went into
the job called TACP, where you control fast movers
behind enemy lines. Cool job, but there's no
water. I was afraid of the water, so I avoided
it. And I gained 125 pounds in that time frame.
I went from 175 to almost 300. To 297 was my
heaviest. And I started finding things that was
comfortable. And the more things I found comfortable,
the more uncomfortable my mind was. Because that
voice I was telling you about, it always was
there. I was just trying to avoid that conscience.
I wanted to be left alone from that conscience,
and it wouldn't leave me alone. So I got out
of the Air Force, and I started working for a
job called EcoLab, where you spray for cockroaches
at 24. And I'm spraying at different steak and
shakes, red lobster, whatever, from 11 o 'clock
at night to 7 o 'clock in the morning. And what
changed, I came home and watched this Discovery
Channel show, Class 224. Came home from steak
and shake I sprayed down last get a big old large
42 ounce shake Well across the street and get
a box of mini doughnuts from 7 -eleven and I
would drive home for 45 minutes This big old
fat guy who yeah, I worked out, but I was fat.
I didn't run didn't PT. I just hit the gym So
I'm driving home turn the TV on and what comes
on discovery channel. So and that's where everything
changed for me Was taking a shower. I walked
out heard these guys and I watched the show and
it made me reflect Big time on the piece of shit
that I am and I'm exactly what people said I
was gonna be So so what was on this show that
really struck home it was um I saw these guys
going in the water, so I was terrified of it
I mean I can't even express have you had a big
fear And I know a lot of fighters have fears
and stuff like that, but they get over them But
a lot of us have these fears that you just don't
want to fucking face And I have a lot of them
had a lot of them and that's what created the
person who's in front of you today And it will
get into that But I'm just a scared bitch is
what I was and But I was watching these guys
going through hell week class 224 and these guys
ringing the bell quitting dropping their helmet
down rolling out a lot of guys just leaving and
It made me reflect on my fears my insecurities
And I saw real men when I thought were real men
who were staying who are overcoming adversity,
who are overcoming all these different things
that I had blamed so many fucking people in my
life, my dad, my mom for not being there. When
I was 14 years old, my mom was gonna get remarried
to this great guy. He got murdered. And then
I moved back to a small town in Brazil and everybody
was a blame. My learning disability, my skin
color, me being everything. And so I sat there
for a while and I was like, man, I got it. No
one's going to fucking come to help me. No one's
going to fucking come to help me. It's fucking
me against me, period. And so I had the man up.
And I said, the first thing I started doing is
facing every fucking fear I have. What the fuck
it is, man. And these things would keep me up.
And people who are hearing this shit, they will
never really understand and grasp. When you face
these things and so many things how they keep
you up and haunt you at night I think there's
a lot of people out there that know what you're
talking about. I mean and um, so that's what
it did and I I had two options to either Be that
300 pound guy who sprayed for cockroaches and
made a thousand dollars a month And at 24 years
old knowing when i'm 50 fucking years old I can
reflect on this and think about what guy I never
became or I can totally just sack it up and fail
and fail and fail until I succeed. So I started
calling recruiters up. I said, I'm gonna go be
a fucking Navy SEAL. And every recruiter, so
there's a weight and height, so the weight and
height limit to get in the military. And I was
six foot one and 297. And I had prior service,
which was a big deal. So I called all these recruiters
up and all of them said, hey, how tall are you?
Blah, blah, blah, blah. They got into conversations
to see if I was even qualified. And by the time
I got to my weight, phone would hang up pretty
much like, hey, you know what, call somebody
else, you know, try to get in the reserves. So
I try to get in the reserves and I call this
guy, Steven Saljo, recruiter up and he said,
Hey, come on in. He saw me, put me through the
weight standard, all this other stuff. And to
get into the class, I had to get into how to
lose 106 pounds in less than three months. So
I was like, fuck that. I can't do that. I grabbed
my chocolate milkshake and went back to equal
lab. I'm going back to work, man. This is my
life. So in this job, you look Looking for cockroaches
looking for rodents and stuff like that and this
next morning or this next night I went to work
and I hit the I don't like cockroaches too much.
I hit the motherload of cockroaches and This
restaurant got full of cockroaches and rodents
and everything else and I sat there. I said this
is my life. I Said this is my life. You are exactly
who the fuck This is it and I said this ain't
gonna be it for me so in that restaurant Quit
my job left my canister in that restaurant my
spray canister got back in my eco lab truck And
I went home and I started working out like somebody
I was I became the most obsessed person on the
planet Earth and I was basically I Had to invent
a guy that didn't exist I had to invent a guy
that can take any pain any suffering any kind
of judgment be called nigger, be called whatever
the fuck in the world and be able to stand in
a fucking room and say go fuck yourself. I had
to build this callous mind and I built it through
suffering. I built it through downright fucking
just crushing myself. If it was raining outside
at three o 'clock in the fucking morning, it
was snowing, the first instinct is don't go out
there and do shit. My instinct was we gotta fucking
go out there. Anything that was fucking horrible
in my life that I would normally say no, that
was inhumane to most people, I had to go do it.
And I started callous in my mind at this point
in my life. And I lost the weight. I lost the
weight. And I went back to recruiter. I got into
that class. And I went through three Navy SEAL
hell weeks in one year. Only guy to ever be in
three hell weeks in one year, to my knowledge.
The first one I didn't make it through, the next
two I did. didn't I didn't stop anymore from
there and I started realizing through this through
this process that The fucking mind is what you
created and I started opening different doors
that I didn't think were even there They didn't
think even existed and the more doors open up
the more I start realizing that my potential
is damn near endless and It changed my whole
mindset. So I went from David Goggins and I created
Goggins and that journey is a priceless journey
that is hard for me to even explain to people
because it sounds so quick and easy, like I lost
this weight and I went through three hell weeks,
I went to Ranger school, went to Delta Force,
Lexington, whatever it is. It was brutal. It's
a brutal journey every fucking day. And everybody
goes, are you happy? If anybody knows my life
story, I'll try to give you just a snippet of
it. Where I'm at today is in front of Joe Rogan
telling you my life. To get through where I became,
to get through where I'm at now, There's nothing
but pride I have for myself that I can't really,
I can't really show people. Because I have this
face, I have this face that they see like, are
you happy? What's wrong with you? I'm driven.
I'm obsessed. And that's what you see. That's
it. People need to hear this story. This is a,
this is an exciting story for people because
there's a lot of people out there that feel trapped
and they feel stuck and they feel like they can't
do anything. This is who they are. You're a guy
who felt that exact same way, but figured out.
How to not be that person and be a person that
you would admire How did you what were the first
steps? Like you had some slips before right because
you you quit because of the water thing Right,
but then when you went back the second time you
decided you're gonna lose all that weight and
you quit that job Did did you was it just straightforward
from there or were there some days where you
just failed? And then you picked it back up again.
So my first run when I decided to lose the weight
I was like I said 297 I was about 32 body fat
And I went, my idea was to run four miles for
my first run. I didn't know how bad it's gonna
fucking hurt me. I used to run before I was fat
and I was like, fuck it, I can do this. I ran
a quarter mile and walked home. I walked home
and sat on my couch and cried. I went to my mom's
house, who was about 40, about maybe 20 minutes
down the road and cried and getting her couch
saying, man, I can't fucking do this shit. I
don't know what I'm gonna do. I just got somebody
pregnant. My life was just fucked. I was making
$1 ,000 a month. My rent was $8, $10 a month.
And my mind just kept fucking with me. And kept
fucking, you're not good enough, man. This isn't
for you, man. These guys are the baddest motherfuckers
on the planet Earth. You're not that. And what
it was, and it's kind of funny, I was obsessed
with Rocky. Rocky I, in particular. And when
I was a kid, I'd come home every day and I'd
watch this fucking show, Rocky. And I would fast
forward with the little VHS tapes to round 14.
Round 14 fucked me up like nobody's business.
Why? The song came on, right? So when I bought
the pull -up record, I listened to the song for
17 hours. It's two minutes and 13 seconds. And
I'm able to visualize and dream like nobody's
business. And I know that I can create a vision
that many people can't. And I worked for it,
so the vision I had was when Apollo Cree beat
the fucking shit out of Rocky, beat the shit
out of him, he kept fighting. He was a dumb fighter,
couldn't read, couldn't fuck, that was me. Couldn't
read, couldn't write, just punchy, everything
about him. And Rocky beat the shit, or Apollo
beat the shit out of him. He was in that corner,
everybody was saying, stay the fuck down. And
him getting up, him getting up, Apollo Cree raised
his arms up in the fucking air, turned around,
thought he wanted to fight. He turns around and
sees this guy getting up, and it was the face
of Apollo Creed that changed my life. The face
of Apollo Creed. It was like, just by that motherfucker
getting up. Not winning. Just by him getting
the fuck up. Apollo Creed was his champ. He was
the best. Rocky had taken his soul. Had literally
taken his soul. His head goes down. He looks
at him like, what the fuck are you? I wanted
to be that. Not Rocky. Want to be the guy that
people looked at I don't keep you like me or
didn't like I don't care But said this motherfucker
is gonna keep coming after Whatever the fuck
is in front of them. I wanted that I wanted that
I wanted that worse than anything in the world
So that is I kept picturing me Falling down and
getting up and every motherfucker to call me
nigger. I was dumped even myself even myself
I wanted to feel something besides the feet.
I wanted to just go the distance. And that going
the distance pushed me to a point of where now
I go way past the distance. So you go the first
day, you run a quarter mile and then you walk
back home and you're upset. How do you move forward?
So basically what I did was I came home and I
had a tucking milkshake. I sat down and I gave
up. I said this ain't gonna fucking happen, man.
I could lose 106 pounds and I can't even go a
quarter of a fucking mile. I started being able
to take negative shit and be happy. And this
whole, I say what if a lot, it sounds corny and
it sounds weak, but it's true. One of the recruiters
said, there's not many black Navy SEALs. Matter
of fact, I was the 36th African American SEAL
in history. Over seven years. Because the fucking
water, you know, I mean people get mad at me.
It's fucking true. Just get over it and so I
was like Matt What story would it be if my fucking
fat dumb? Lying to be friends with people insecure
ass can overcome this shit and that what -if
mentality like That that that dreamer mentality
just would always fuel me. It was true man. What
if I can be what if I can be a seal man? What
if I can go from one and a quarter of a fucking
mile? Now I run 205 miles. What if I can go?
Just what if I can go? And what if, how would
that feel if I'm graduating? Can I not forget
at that graduation thing I was talking about,
224, like the video I sat down and watched. This
command officer stood up and he said to the graduation
guys who are graduating buds, like 18 of them,
he said, we live in a society where mediocrity
is often rewarded. And he went on to say something
about these men detest mediocrity. And I wanted
to be a man that the test mediocrity You know
it got me a lot of trouble in the seal teams
and going forward in my life because I just I
started looking down on people for not going
hard as fucking shit and I started to create
different things, but that's for a different
day But I just believe that you know my whole
mind changed That is a problem that a lot of
people who work hard do have you get angry at
people who don't work hard to the point where
you you know you want to insult them you want
to You want to smack them. And it's really because
you're scared of seeing that in yourself. Yeah,
that's probably the truth. That's probably the
truth. So I guess a lot of times in my life,
I would see people and it probably was a direct
reflection of who I was. And I would get mad
at them, but in reflection, it's probably just
me getting mad at myself. Yeah, that's for me
100%. When I see people that are half -assed
and things, I get terrified of seeing that in
myself and I get mad at them. Right. And it's
not a good way to handle it. No, you know, but
it's it's natural because you're just terrified
of seeing that trait right and it cost me so
you come back You do the quarter mile right you
walk back home. How do you regroup? So what I
did I sat down there and I put rocky in I Got
my milkshake put rocky. I see know what I was
big time in rocky and platoon Why platoon? I
love to see people who were getting beat down
and this there's there's scenes There's scenes
that just drove me and people in my hell weeks,
you know, I was in three of them. They'd always
hear me singing these songs, these songs, humming
these songs in torturous situations. When you're,
when everybody's quitting this fucking code,
I would be somewhere gone, somewhere fucking
gone and somewhere fucking dark as shit. There's
a scene of platoon when Elias, when Barnes shoots
Elias and you know, they think Elias is dead.
The choppers are taking off and Charlie Sheen
is asking, you know, Tom Berenger. Where's Elias?
Where's Elias? William Dafoe? Oh, I found him
back there dead somewhere and Through the woods
the Vietcong is chasing Elias through the woods
and then shoot him in his fucking back And all
he wants to do is get to the fucking chopper.
He's getting shot in his back. He's getting up
He's getting shot in the base getting up and
you see this guy just fighting I love the fucking
guy who just fucking fights. And so I put these
things in as reminders that you're gonna have
to fucking suffer, man. This fucking .25, man,
this is... Man, you're gonna have to fucking
suffer to go from this fat insecure motherfucker
to one of the best guys on the planet Earth.
This journey is gonna take something that is
gonna be incomprehensible to most people. And
these different visualizations how I visualize
them in my self -talk, it became so nasty and
dirty that I almost liked the fact that I went
.25. So it became from being defeated to like,
man, all right, motherfucker, maybe tomorrow
I'm going to go .75. It just became this different
mindset. I turned negatives into positives. So
I would take it like, who would even think about
doing this? So I would sit on my couch saying,
who at 297, who can't fucking swim that great,
who's scared of the fucking water, would have
the fucking balls, who have the balls to fucking
man up, quit a job, and go, and to put everything
on himself? So it's how I start talking to myself,
and put myself in a whole different category,
and that would fuel me the next day, and I just
kept using that as fuel, and fuel. No one would
do this shit. No one would do this shit. You're
the baddest motherfucker around. You're the baddest
motherfucker that ever lived. And I just kept
fueling me with the right kind of message that
I needed to hear that I was never telling myself.
And through time, it became reality to myself.
So you start out on the first day, and then do
you start running again the second day? Yeah,
the second day, we're right back after it again.
But I start realizing I can't run that far. So
what I did was I became damn near professional
cyclist with the miles I put on the bike. So
I never, whenever I watched TV, I had to be doing
something. So I was riding the bike. I rode a
bike a lot to lose the first initial kind of
weight because my bones were just hurting so
bad. My body was just broken. And I learned to
get over that also. And I tried to swim a lot.
I wasn't a great swimmer, but putting fins on
kind of equalized my body. I wasn't so negative
boy. So I started fitting a whole bunch and I
spent hours in the pool. Hours in the pool trying
to get more and more comfortable not because
I was going underwater I was so scared of the
water that I had to live in the water I had to
become one with the water. So going to the pool
used to scare me So I went to the pool an awful
awful lot and then the bike got easier I was
able to run more I went from like one mile one
mile is a great accomplishment two miles and
then from two to three was a big one then I went
from three to six and then Like they have a warning
order that they give people to get ready for
buds. And the whole thing was running six miles,
five days a week. And that was my goal. And so
I just kept, I failed. I go back to scratch.
I use some positive motivation. I have like one
day where I'm like fucking defeated. But I started
realizing this is part of the process. This is
part of the journey. I had to realize this is
part of my process versus just saying, like I
used to, I'm just not good enough. If I'm not
good enough, we always say that shit. I'm just
not good enough. And then we try something else.
I'm gonna fucking make myself good enough. And
that became my mentality. I'm gonna make myself
good enough. And so I misunderstood a lot, but
that's all it came down to. I made myself good
enough. And the days I couldn't run that far,
the next week, I would do two a days. So on the
running, if I ran a quarter of a mile, I wait
a fucking couple of hours, it haunt me, bother
me, I try to run a half a mile the next time.
Same day. You can do more than this. If I had
to walk, I had to walk. It just became just a
process of grinding and grinding. And grinding
is not even a good word for it. It's not even
a good word for it. And just going further and
further. And then when I got through running,
I go to the bike. I go to the pool. If I got
tired somewhere, my legs are tired, I go to the
gym. And I developed this crazy workout where
I was doing volume. two, three hundred reps of
like very light weight. People always say, you
know, how come you don't have any like loose
skin? My workout routine in the gym became sick.
It became sick. I was just doing two, three hundred
reps, four hundred reps on like chest. Just like
for one simple exercise. The bench press. And
I rack it, get back on it, just rep it out. Trying
to burn as many calories as I can, build that
muscle mass. And I just became, just became obsessed
with it. So when you're doing this are you worried
at all about repetitive stress injuries or the
fact that your body's not conditioned for this?
And you you're basically taking your body where
you had abused it right and now you're you're
Forcing it to live like an elite athlete, right?
I didn't care. I didn't know any better. I didn't
think about it Wow, I didn't I I didn't know
That working out that hard, but fuck you up.
I did it. Fuck you up. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's
one reason why I'm with you three hell weeks.
So I Don't talk about a lot but um the stress
of my life getting to 24 caused me to have some
serious psoas issues. I didn't know anything
about this shit. The psoas muscle is what we
use. It's your hip flexor muscle. And basically
under stress, it starts to tighten up. And I
stuttered from the time I was in third grade,
the time I was in seventh grade, white blotches
on my skin. I was a nutcase. And so the insides
of me are also getting fucked up. So in this
process, My so as muscle got real tight to my
t12 I can show you the bump in the back of my
head after this shows over But I had I started
growing this fucking like large tumor looking
bump on the back of my head from my body compressing
So I'm six foot one, but my muscles were like
five foot nine because I just started just the
muscle tightness for my so as Going to my t12.
I was just getting tighter my quads everything
getting tired from distress just stress in my
life So the more I stress my body with the workouts,
my lower body became out of balance. So I had
a bunch of stress fractures, a bunch of injuries
going through buds. And how I got through buds
was they gave me my third time, was my last time
going through hell week. I basically put a black
sock on at four o 'clock in the morning and I
would get duct taped. I had numerous stress fractures
on both of my legs because my because my body
was literally like coming in on itself. And my
legs were like, I was pronating it really bad
and putting stress on my shins. And so I would
put duct tape. I would duct tape my feet and
I would show you the top of them where I have
pressure ulcers that are the size of quarters
from, you know, how the ankle joint, so the foot
goes to the shin and how you move this. Where
the tape was so tight, it just created a nice
ulcer right there. Just just kept going through
it. So you just use that tape to just support
your ankles, right? So I basically cast myself
and for the first 30 45 minutes the pain was
excruciating But then it would go numb and I
would go numb and then that's how I got through
Wow Did that do any long -term damage? Oh Yeah,
I've been out for five years. So I retired from
them. I did 21 years in the military I did time
in the Air Force and I did about 16 years in
the Navy told you 43 She looks like you're 30.
That's good. That's good. You really you look
very young for your age whenever I'm stressed
I get after it I Fixed was ever bothering me
so I Basically over the last five years everything
I've done in my life. I did it being very unhealthy
I've never talked about it. I just kept going
And it cost me pretty much, I was choking my
insides out. Adrenal issues, tons of adrenal
issues, thyroid issues, anything with endocrine
system pretty much shut down on me. My organs
were pretty much shutting down. And I went from
a guy who could run 205 miles to a guy who couldn't
get out of bed. And the doctors were trying to
search what was wrong. That's why I figured out
the psoas muscle. No one figured it out. And
I hit it by accident. So I've missed two days
of stretching out in five years. What happened
was all the shit I did to myself, the stress
I was under, physical, mental, all kind of shit,
it just choked me out from the inside and doctors
put me on all kind of medication. And the medication
started doing the exact opposite of what it should.
What kind of shit? I was on DHEA, I was on some
different things for my estrogen, different things
for my... I was on anything to do with your endocrine
system. Thyroid medicine, Good God, I was on
cortisol, all kind of shit to get my stuff. I
had like this lump in my throat from like the
heart was always, I couldn't run down the street.
My body was just jacked up, couldn't sleep. My
whole body was just down, shutting down. I could
give you a lot more than that, but just to give
you an example, I was fucking dying. And so I
couldn't do anything. I went from a guy who was
this guy to a guy who can't do shit. And doctors
like, I don't know what's wrong with you, man.
Is it your labs or this? Is it PTSD? What's going
on? I knew it wasn't any of that shit. So I sat
in the bed one day and I realized, man, my life
is over. This is it. But it gave me time to reflect
on everything I had accomplished. I had never
taken time to reflect on the kid I was to the
man I am now. So honestly, the time I wasn't
working out, it was the best time of my life
because I got a chance to really reflect back
and be proud of who I became. I never took time
to do that. It was like one after another get
the fuck after get after get after you ain't
good enough my fuck get after it get after it
and um I got halted So anyway this process went
on for a while more medication. This isn't working.
That's not working. No doctor can figure it out
I'm like fuck it. I saw this doc about eight
years before this happened. He was like, hey
man, you're so fucking tight I've never seen
anybody in my life as tight as you you need 50
,000 hours of stretching. He's throughout some
Crazy number I Like whatever stretching, you
know stretch stretch is bad for you. So you thought
stretch was bad for you Why'd you think that
I read some article, you know, you know, you
know, man fucking fuck stretching man, you know
I worked out so hard. I'd have time to stress
mouse. I was running 150 miles a week I was back
in the work mouse. I was getting after it man.
I was working a full -time job and Stretching
and doing that So my body was literally getting
tighter and tighter, not just from what I was
doing. Everybody thinks, oh, because you ran
this. No, it wasn't that, man. And so I said,
no, I'm going to try and stretch out. So I don't
do anything for like 10 minutes, or I don't do
no six minute abs bullshit. So I started stretching
out, one hour, hour and a half. Long story short,
man, I shaved my head almost every morning. And
that bump, that was on the back of my fucking
head, I started realizing it was shrinking. For
some fucking reason I don't know why because
I shaved my head back and I was like it's getting
smaller Smaller that bump got healthier. I got
Smaller that bump got I was like, oh hold up
motherfucker. What's going on? That's so as muscle
started getting more and more stressed out more
more relaxed and over a period of five years
I'm the best shape my damn life right now from
stretching out Wow, that's all it was I went
from like I came and count the medications I
was on now I'm on a very low -dose thyroid pill
Period do you ever do yoga all the time man all
the time and I? If I were to tell somebody one
thing right now, man That's so as muscle and
getting that hip flexor opened up because we're
all stressed the fuck out It was it's a much
worse than others. It changed my life Yeah, um,
how do you say Nick Gregor Gordius? How do you
say his last name the? Brazilian jiu -jitsu black
belt from England Greek fella he has a great
quote about yoga He said yoga is a martial art
you do against yourself. Yep It's a great way
of putting it a hundred percent. It's what it
feels like when you're in there right hundred
percent and so you How many years ago was this
was five years ago? We couldn't do anything and
how long was there a period where you couldn't
work out at all there was about So I always try
to do something, but I couldn't run hardly at
all. I could run maybe half a mile, and all that
heart shit would happen, and my heart would get
afib, and all kind of stuff would happen. And
I started just stretching, and also I tried to
do pull -ups every now and then, but everything
was just, I didn't have the energy. Didn't have
anything. I mean nothing was processing right
for me. So did you think that you had just broken
your body? Oh, yeah pushed it too hard hundred
percent I I sat back in that bed that night and
I had a lot of time to reflect I see no what
I was actually kind of proud of myself in a very
sick twisted way I I Even though people don't
understand it. I had to do what I had to do and
You know and I did it like I didn't tell you
how I got into ultra running You know, there's
a lot of things that so I pushed it extremely
hard. I went way beyond what I thought was capable
like my first ultra race I did I was uh, I was
heavier I was in Iraq, you know the Marcus the
trail lone survivor I was in buds I was in three
hell weeks as you know as I said many times and
I knew a lot of guys that died in the operation
I was at freefall school with Morgan the trail
who's his twin brother during the operation web
wings where Marcus chose only survivor I knew
Marcus trail well And I was about 200 some odd
pounds and I didn't run hardly at all at this
time I was a seal but I was like a bodybuilder
and I did it elliptical trainer 20 minutes on
Sunday all I did So I did fuck that cardio stuff.
I was never about it until this happened So that
happened and I was like man. I gotta find a way
to raise money for these families. So I googled
it I found a foundation, Special Operations Warrior
Foundation, and I googled the 10 hardest races
in the world. I knew nothing about ultra running.
The first I'd ever run was 20 miles at one time.
And so what came up was the Badwater 135, 135
mile run through Death Valley in the summertime.
I thought it was a fucking stage race. I know
people can run 135 miles at one time. I had no
idea it was even possible. What do you mean a
stage race? Where you run like 20 miles, camp
out, and then run 20 more until you get 135 miles.
Right. So I wanted an ultra runner to know what
an ultra runner was. I called the race director
up, Chris Costman of the Badwater, and he said,
are you an ultra runner? And I was like, I don't
know what that is. He goes, have you run 100
miles in 24 hours or less? I was like, no, but
I said, I'm a Navy SEAL. I was in three hell
weeks. I was a range. I gave him some resume.
He didn't give a shit. He said, I don't care.
You got to qualify for my race. And the deadline
was up in two months for this bad water race.
And basically he said, there's two more races
you can do to qualify. And I might consider you
my race. We select top 90 athletes in the world
and you're not even ultra runner, but I like
your cause, like what you're doing. He said,
uh, I call him up on a Wednesday and he goes,
there's a race on Saturday. In San Diego, San
Diego one day, where you run around a one mile
track for 24 hours. See how many miles you can
get. If you get 124 hours, I will consider you
in my race. I did the math, 14 some minute mile,
fuck it, I can do that. Dumb shit thinking, I'll
tell you that right now. It was rough. The worst
pain I've been in my entire life was this race.
So I have my wife at the time, she's now my ex
-wife. We go to Walmart, get a blue lawn chair,
rich crackers, and mileplex. That's what I'm
gonna have for a 100 mile run. So, show up at
the start line of this race. It was the AUA National
Championships. It's like the best ultra runners
compete against each other to see how many miles
you can get in 24 hours. And I'm this big, bodybuilder
looking guy with his shirt on. How much did you
weigh back then? I would say I was at least 230.
At least it may have been more than jacked. Yeah,
I would yeah, I was ripped the fuck up I was
big old chest out big. I was I was jacked up.
There's a picture of me He definitely didn't
look like someone who could run a harm. No, not
at all So basically I start running and I get
to about mile 40 mile 50 and I'm feeling pretty
good I get to mile 70 and It was the worst pain
of my life. I sat down this blue lawn chair at
mile 70 and My the Ritz crackers after mile 20
became wrist cracker balls. I wouldn't hydrate
and correctly I know what to do I was drinking
mileplex for my nutrition because I couldn't
eat these wrist crackers have very minimal water
if any at all and I was just dying so I sat down
this blue lawn chair as I was watching these
runners go around in this circle I was all dizzy
and light -headed hadn't gone to the bathroom.
It's been about 12 hours I went 70 miles about
12 hours, which is good and I looked at my ex
-wife now and I was like am fucked I started
seeing like three of her and once my body stopped
my mind just went off and I had to go to the
bathroom and the bathroom was like it's like
20 feet away from me if that and I couldn't and
so I sat there and pee blood down my leg and
started crapping up my back and with 30 miles
to go I and my feet were broken I was just in
the worst shape and once you stop running Not
running like that. I mean, I hadn't run in almost
a year. I was just doing bodybuilding stuff and
20 minutes of an elliptical trainer. No running
at all. I probably ran no shit, no shit, no more
than 50 miles the whole year. That wasn't my
thing. I wanted to be like Jack. I didn't want
to be cardio guy. I wanted to be ripped big Navy
SEAL guy. And the day before this race, it's
funny. This guy named Joe Burns, who put me through
my hell weeks, a seal guy, he's one of the hardest
guys out there. He was in the gym the Friday
before I did this race. And he was doing a full
body squats, deadlifts, power cleans. I said,
fuck it, man. He's a guy that approved me to
do this race. He gave me the approval to go do
this race and signed off on it. So I'm in the
gym. I went in there and did a full body hardcore
squats, deadlifts, and everything with this guy.
Because I knew He was going to come watch me
in this race. So I've always been about, all
right, man, you're going to see me come in here
and jack this weight, and then tomorrow you're
going to watch me do a 100 -mile run. Where are
you going to think about that? So basically,
I paid for it. So he came out there with my favorite
thing, chocolate mini donuts, because he knew
my story of my past life, and brought the six
mini donuts out there. And I had my hat pulled
down. And at mile 70, man, it was torturous.
And there was blood down my leg. 30 miles to
go, I started reaching the cookie jars, man.
I started pulling off all kind of stuff. I reached
in my mind and a lot of us when we have bad times
in life, even the hardest person where we forget
how badass we are during that hard time. I have
a thing where I take a couple seconds to reflect
on, hang on man, you've been through this, you've
been through that, you overcame this, overcame
that. I don't ever close my mind to the fact
that this can't be done. And I knew I had to
get up, I needed nutrition, I needed hydration,
I needed to stop being dizzy. So that's the first
thing I did. I didn't panic on, I had 30 more
miles to go to get 100. I start about the process.
Slowly but surely I was able to stand up and
I was literally hobbling around this track, just
walking. No running at all, I couldn't run, my
feet were in the worst pain. This is the worst
pain I've been in my entire life. Nothing in
any training is even comparable to this last
30 miles. And what happened was, my ex -wife
looked at me and she's like, man, we agreed I'm
not going to make the time. I was going way too
slow. And at that time, at Mount 81, something
clicked that I'll never probably be able to do
again with my mind, body, spirit, soul, everything
that's connected. And my mind knew I wasn't fucking
around anymore. It knew I wasn't going to quit.
It knew that guy was dead and buried and gone.
And I was going to die out here on this fucking
one -mile foot. For whatever reason why, I was
going to get through this motherfucker. I didn't
give a damn. There was no fucking crowds. There
was no trophy at the end. I wasn't even in a
race in my mind. It was nothing. It wasn't about
nothing. There was no nothing. It was a bunch
of people who didn't know who the fuck I was.
And it was me against me. And I used all these
different dark places to start bringing out light
and just fucking going deeper and deeper. Ended
up running the next 20 miles. I ran 101 miles.
And I ran the next 20 miles. Ran. at about a
1030 pace and I did 101 miles in 18 hours and
56 minutes sat back down that blue porta potty
now my chair that got from Walmart and that's
when the body realized I was done and this great
feeling came over me but also the worst pain
in my life I that's when I took a humongous shit
on myself literally like I like a fucking log
up my fucking back Pissed so much blood down,
and my wife was, she was a nurse. And she was
freaked out. I couldn't get up. I couldn't stand
up. She backed this Camry on the knoll of the
grassy area I was at. And we were both lifters
at the time, so she was decently strong. I put
my arms around her neck. She got me to the back
seat of the car, let the windows down, kind of
smelled like horrible shit. And I had this poncho
on it, because it was November in San Diego,
so I'm sitting there jacking him in the back
of his car. And she was terrified. I need to
get the doctor. I need to get the doctor. So
I said, just take me home. So we lived in the
second story or the second deck of this apartment
complex in San Diego. I got to the first deck,
so I get out of the car and I could stand up,
but with my arms around her neck. So I was just
leaning down because I was going to pass out.
I got to the first deck, went down. Just couldn't
stand up anymore. Got her around her neck, worked
up my way up the railing, got my arms around
her neck again, walked to the kitchen area, which
was right in the front door. I was laying on
the puncture liner, crap was everywhere. I managed,
she helped me manage to get into the tub and
it was like dirt was coming out of my penis.
This looked horrible, just the grossest thing
in the world. It was the worst pain I could ever,
ever, ever be in in my life. And the craziest
thing, I'll tell you a story because it's right
now, I'm not sadistic, I'm not crazy. People
may think that, they may want to put a title
on me after hearing me because it makes them
feel better. Because they think wow this guy
must be some special or just fucked up crazy,
dude No, I'm a guy that came from nothing anybody's
capable of doing shit like this anybody and I
sat in that tub She put the water on me She called
my mom up and my mom was dating a doctor at the
time the doctor said you need to get him to a
hospital now She came back in all I want to do
is call Chris cost on the phone the race director
of bad waters. I fucking did it So she said I'm
taking to the doctor. I said no Let me sit here
and enjoy this pain. She said, what are you talking
about? I said, you know, I go, I need to go to
the doctor. I realized that, but I never thought
it was humanly possible to do what I did. I went
70 miles at 70 miles. I was dead. I was at a
hundred percent. What I thought, what I thought
was a hundred percent. I went 30. 31 more miles
after being in the worst physical shape I've
ever been in in my life and all the All that
pain and suffering and thing was going through
my fucking body and I sat in that tub and the
waters hit me and it was the most Amazing feeling
of accomplishment and I want to be numb. I Don't
want people to give me drugs in the numbness
fucking pain. I wanted to I did this Over as
crazy as it sounds it was the most amazing moment
of my entire life to overcome such, to come from
this kid who was mentally torched himself and
was tortured, it's all to this kid, to this guy
now, who was able to overcome such amazing odds
and obstacles. And I called Chris Cosmo, the
race director of Badwater, and he said, the idea
of a 24 -hour race is to run 24 hours. You only
ran 19. And he put doubt in my mind that he would
let me into Badwater. So a month later or so
about a month and a half later. I went to this
race called the hurt 100 It's a hundred mile
race in Hawaii 26 ,000 feet of car was all he
said. That's all he said That's so crazy. I mean,
he's a hardcore dude, but he didn't know how
fucked up I was right and he said He didn't say
well, you know, he can say no I'm not gonna let
you in he put enough doubt in my mind and say
Matt. I got to do more So I was broken I was
broken bad Like how long did it take you to recover
physically the funniest thing about this? I don't
tell a story very often. I had signed up for
I'm getting to that answer. It's right now I
went in deployment and me and my wife my mom
signed up for the first Las Vegas marathon down
the strip of Las Vegas and That incident happened.
So I ran a hundred miles before I ran a marathon
two weeks later roughly December 5th was this
marathon that we all signed up for. I couldn't
walk. I could not walk. I was fucked up. So 10
days or two weeks after this 100 mile in one
race I did, this marathon, December 5th in Las
Vegas, I said, you know what's the first one?
I can't run. Maybe I can walk with my mom. So
I tried to go out to this little knoll around
our grassy area in San Diego. I tried to run,
legs were broken. I said, fuck, I can't even,
I'm jacked. Can't do shit. So I said, you know
what? Maybe I want you guys do the marathon and
I'll cheer you guys on whatever and I said I'll
try to rock with my mom December 5th happened
that gun went off 2005 14 days after I broke
myself off and I qualified for the Boston Marathon
around 308 That's crazy and what's funny about
I know people are here says motherfucker even
when I tell you the story Dropped I want to drop
so many names Google it look it up. I don't give
a fuck like It almost seems like I'm making my
own story up. It does almost seems like it to
you It does like when I tell it if I were to
hear somebody Let's say I listen to Joe Rogan's
podcast. I heard some black dude from fucking
Brazil in the end talking about, this happened,
this happened, three hell weeks, ranger school,
ran a hundred miles, broke my feet, broke my
body. I'm like, he's the biggest fucking liar
on the planet. Ain't nobody doing that shit.
Even when I tell him my story, it almost sounds
like some made up shit. It sounds so crazy as
you ran a hundred miles before you ever ran a
marathon, then you didn't run again at all and
you still qualified for the Boston Marathon.
So you ran a 308 right for the first marathon
you ever did ever did two weeks after you ran
a hundred miles right with no training and nothing
in between but it gets better than that you can
see my training log that actually posted up so
that's when i started training for the hurt 100
so basically what happened was after that i had
about four weeks what did it feel like to run
that 308 if you could barely walk when that gun
went off Something went off in my head and I
didn't feel that much pain at all Afterwards
I did But something happened where I was like
the gun went off and that thing came back like
all right, man What if? Because I want to qualify
for Boston. That was my goal But I was I was
jacked up, you know, and I didn't run as much
as I should have at all over my Iraq training
I hit the weights And, but my job, but my goal
was when I signed up for it a year early, I wanted
to qualify for Boston, which was a three, 10,
59. And I was like, what, if you can qualify
for Boston, man, you should run a hundred. So
it helped me out. I spent a hundred and one miles.
What the fuck is 26 miles to me now? So the mindset
going into it was like, I ran 75 more miles in
this. So I use it to my advantage. So after that
happened, I ran my feet pretty much broken. I
would go to the physical therapist and they had
this compression tape. Compression tape helped
because my feet were pretty bad off. And I would
run 70, 80, 100 mile weeks. And then I went to
the Hurt 100, racing Hawaii, 26 ,000 feet of
climbing over 100 miles. Probably one of the
top five hardest 100 mile races in the world.
I wasn't even a real runner. I had banked a lot
of miles by the last, what? Two and a half, about
two months. But I won a runner. Went out there
and got through the race. Did in 33 hours, was
the ninth place finisher. Not many people finished
that year. And I qualified for bad water and
got in. And I went on to lose weight and train
hard. And I got fifth my first year and went
back my second year and got third. When you say
you lost weight, what were you eventually weighing?
So I went to the race about 190, 195. So you
lost quite a bit from your bodybuilding time.
Right. That's over a short period of time. Right.
How did you lose all that weight? Once again,
I just worked out hard. I stopped taking my protein
so much. I got off, I was on this stuff called
Nitro Tech. And I got off all the protein stuff.
I just started, I stopped hitting the weights
so hard. And I just became a running fool. Became
the black forest gut man, pretty much. Pretty
simple, man. That's what happened. Now when you
say you were using compression tape on your feet
and that your feet were jacked up, what was the
extent of the injuries? So basically, because
of my pronation that I never figured out because
of my psoas muscles, I always had issues with
stretch, fracture, shin splints. So I put a lot
of pressure on the inside of my ankles. And so
there's this tendon that goes up the back side
of your, I don't know if it's your fibula. on
the backside of that little bone, on the backside
of your foot, it goes right alongside that bone.
And that thing was just so flared up on both
sides that even this flexing of my foot was just
killing me. So I realized when you cast that
thing up, casting my feet always helped me out.
Because it locked my foot into a position that
wouldn't make me pronate as much. So between
the casting of that, and if you watched the Badwater
video of 2006, you see me crossing the finish
line with this compression tape literally like
flying on my ankles because I went to the race
with compression tape on my ankles and so basically
I'd have that on my you know on my ankles I had
inserts in my you know in my shoes and also this
wedge on the back heel of my left foot so then
it would keep me from pronating that heel so
much so I had all that on just to go around and
I Ran my ass off and went to Badwater 2006 and
with compression tape on my feet and walked a
lot, but I got third place. Do you always run
with regular running shoes? I do, yeah. So now
I don't have those issues anymore. All the stretching
has opened my body up to where, how it should
have been. So my alignment is pretty good. It's
not perfect. So now I just run in regular running
shoes now. No more compression tape, no more
none of that stuff. So if you see now, if you
look down there, you'll see The compression tape,
and you'll see my ex -wife here in a second taking
the compression tape off of me. She's doing it
right now. You see her right now? You see the
tape? Yeah. So that's the tape right there that
I had to wear every day of my life to run. Wow.
So as you see, the story may be kind of unbelievable,
but there's some proof right there. Fuck, man.
That looks so painful. Yeah, I was pretty fucked
up. As you see right now, me trying to get up.
Oh, man. Yeah, I'm pretty destroyed right there.
What is the most amount of miles you've ever
run at one time? Yeah, 205 in 39 hours Wow non
-stop Whoo Yeah, I've had quite a few people
on I've met quite a few people now over the last
year or so that have run ultras Courtney Doe
Walter, you know, she is She won the Moab. Okay.
Yeah, I heard about 40 rather heard about her.
Yeah. She she beat all the men by 22 miles something
like that some crazy thing. She was first place
winner. She beat everybody else second place
winner, but and With her I mean you would never
believe it when you talk to her. She seems so
normal, right? She drinks beer and eats nachos
and eats candy ultra winner, man She's just silly
and she's fun. Yep, and there's no demon there
Not waiting to meet a demon right, you know,
I'm like, where's your demon? Right. How you
getting through that? Her demons a quiet demon,
right? It's it's there it has to be there's something
there has to be there's no other people that
Everybody I know that that can do that as a demon
a lot of us don't want to admit the shit Yeah,
we got him a hundred percent. It has to be yeah
so when you do this and You you qualify and you
you do that race in Hawaii, right? They just
let you in after that? No, so the race in Hawaii,
um, yeah, I actually called the race director
up and there wasn't like a big time, like I didn't
have 100 mile race. I believe this I had and
so, you know, 100 mile, you did the Boston or
you did the Vegas marathon. Yeah. So I did a
hundred mile, a hundred mile, the Vegas marathon
went to hurt 100. Did that hundred -miler. And
all this is in a very short amount of time. Yeah,
so November was the first hundred -miler. December
was the 26 -miler in Las Vegas. January was the
next hundred -miler in Hawaii. Do you know how
fucking crazy that is? Like, say if I was your
friend and I called you up on October 20th, I'd
go, hey man, how many times you run? You're like,
ah. I run every now and then. You wanna see something
crazy? I don't know if you can pull it up or
not, but if you can pull up my race schedule
for 2007, just pull up David Goggins race results.
You're gonna see something real crazy in a second.
And I gotta show you proof, because why? I know
my story doesn't make any sense, but just look
at the dates of these races, and we're gonna
show it to you in a second. Just look at the
hundred miles and 50 miles back -to -back weekends.
How many weekends there were between races? So
if you look right here, you can't really see
it. So if you look at 2007, you gotta go all
the way down Keep on going to those races there.
Mm -hmm to that. Okay gets right there. So 100
mile or Hawaii Oh, Jesus Christ two weeks later
three weeks later. Another one. That's 50 mile
or a 50 mile or a month later, they're looking
at what 14 days later, another 50k, 50 mile a
month later, then you look at less than a month,
another 50 mile, 53 mile in June, July was another
100 mile, Badwater was literally, Badwater was
a month after I did that 100 mile, 135 mile,
Leadville was less than a month after Badwater.
The Plane 100 was three weeks after Leadville.
Angel's crest was to attend a week after that
hundred mile Earth the bear 100 was What 13 days
after that hundred mile Earth? She's and then
I ran the 200 and it said 203 .5 But I didn't
ran tour is 205 miles around there But what's
not in there was that McNaughton race I did in
2000 so that 150 mile race I also did in 2007
that wasn't listed. So that was just my 2007
year That's insane. Yeah, so do you think that
is what fucked your body up? No, no, no, cuz
I I still run the same mileage now Well, fuck
my body up was hell week Really? Oh, yeah, you
don't go through three hell weeks in one year
So I so what happened was when I realized that
my body was really jacked up was I went I was
a big -time squatter love squatting and I went
through the first hell week got messed up. Second
Hell Week, I got all the way through. Then third
Hell Week, I got all the way through. And my
third Hell Week, we had a guy die on Thursday.
And then that Hell Week, and I graduated. How
did he die? Pulmonary edema. It was a cold, his
name was John Scop. Cold as fuck Hell Week. The
Pacific Ocean's never warm. And it rained the
whole time. The whole time it just rained. And
he pretty much just... Drowning his own fluid
pretty much we were in the pool doing some evolution.
He sunk to the bottom His temperature was hot.
He missed a lot of hell week for getting pulled
out for different stuff He wouldn't go quit and
he ended up dying hell week. But um, yeah, so
anyway after hell week ended I want to go back
to the gym, you know So second phase happened
dive phase like I could get back in the gym start
jacking my weight I love jacking weight and I
realized I couldn't squat So I went from squatting
a lot to I couldn't even squat the bar because
my lower back was all fucked up I was like, I
don't know what's going on It was because this
this muscle so in Hell Week Your hip flexors
are so and I went through so many of them so
fast and so the hardest part of buds I went through
three times not not the Hell Week part. Yes one
of the hardest parts, but it was the initial
part of the What everybody sees on TV, the log
PT, the surf torture, the dad gone boats over
your head, all that shit. I went through that
person three times in one year. And over a period
of time, my hip flexors got so tight that it
has jacked me up. It jacked me up from my hip
flexor, always being so cold and so stressed
out. And everything lit up to it. But this really
was the part that I noticed I could squat before
Hell Week. or before my first time going to Bud's.
After Bud's, I couldn't squat anymore. Do you
just think it might just be because your body
was exhausted? No. For 12 years, I would go back
and tough it out, like with Joe Burns. He was
squatting, so I said, fuck, I'm going to squat
with Joe Burns. But I just couldn't squat because
that muscle was attached to your T12. So what
was it doing to? Is it locking up? It was just
pulling. So it made my hips feel like I couldn't
sink my ass. I couldn't think so. It's incredible
pain and then with the weight Pushing me down
and then trying to push up the pain was just
is just too much So it's all this is all range
of motion it already is emotion issues. Yeah
Wow, that that's an important thing for my friend
cam Haynes who doesn't stretch He's another friend
of mine who runs ultra races. He ran that Moab
240 He's run the Bigfoot 205. He's run a few
of those right um. I know he's listening go stretch,
dude Yeah, support man. It was especially if
you're working that hard right if you're doing
that much Yeah, you're you're definitely locking
up. He could barely touch his toes. Yeah, that's
not a good thing. That's not good No, no it comes
back to hurt you inside pretty soon now How flexible
are you now because I would imagine you probably
a fucking ballerina at this point because sad
knowing your brain I'm trying to get there. I'm
trying to get there, so I stretch every night
for at least two hours. There's a thing that
people say that always pisses me off, because
I'm pretty flexible. They say, oh, you're naturally
flexible. People have a natural threshold. They're
like, no, they don't. A doctor told me that.
I go, you don't know what you're talking about.
I'm like, you don't know what you're talking
about, because most people don't push themselves
past that pain, that stretch pain. Right. People
want to put a title on you, man. It's easier
for them. You're just fucking natural. Exactly.
You're natural. Exactly. No, you don't work hard
enough, motherfucker. Yeah, people don't like
champs aren't usually flexible right you have
to you have to force yourself to do that's right
And I know it because I had a friend my friend
Tom or dogna He was a football player Jack big
thick dude Terrible flexibility was taking taekwondo
with me right and over the course of a couple
years I saw that dude eventually develop a full
split there you go, and he just did it through
his mind Yes was everybody else was done training
that guy would be on the mat Constantly stretching
always working out because he had built his body
up so strong right all those years Squatting
and lifting that he just you know, he was all
tense. Everything was just like this super powerful,
right? But all like very tense. That's why I
stopped That's why I never stretched because
I wanted that strength. Yeah, you want that tight
muscle, but no, I don't think it's stupid Yeah,
I think you're not supposed to stretch before
you do big physical activities because I think
it does like weaken you somewhat But I don't
think being flexible overall makes you weaker
not at all What certainly doesn't for martial
arts because you need that flexing? To have leg
dexterity to be able to kick right it's got to
be fluid where it's not Tightened up by a restriction
of the motion of your body. I get it. It's truth
I just think people are for whatever reason and
I'm a I'm one of those I Drone on too much about
yoga. I'm like one of those vegans. It's like
you got to do it man, right? I get annoying like
a born -again Christian or something. It's like
I'm getting that way now, man I'm getting that
way now for anybody who does anything hard like
you know if you do anything like with weightlifting
type shit or martial arts type shit where it's
just everything's explosion, it's lifting, it's
heavy, it's push, push, push. Yoga just will
bounce your shit out. It really will, man. And
it's all these people that resist it. Like there
was some article recently that was something
along the lines of hot yoga is just trendy nonsense.
I read that and then even in the article it talked
about that there might be some benefits in terms
of like the strengthening your arteries and they
didn't even mention heat shock proteins. There's
a study going on right now. I believe it's at
Harvard. One of my friends was telling me about
it where they're trying to find the benefits
of 90 -minute hot yoga classes because they think
it might mirror the observed benefits of sauna
which they already know for a fact. Has big benefits
because of your body producing heat shock proteins
to deal with the heat, right? That's why I put
that song in here man. I go in that fucker all
the time Well, no one can tell me doesn't work.
It's big. It's proof positive It changed my life
that it wasn't a medication or this or a dread.
It was stretching Yeah, it was yoga stretching
all that stuff combined changed it Well, I just
think it balances out your body in those static
poses where you're just holding the holes and
It just, it works you out in a weird way. A hundred
percent. You just don't get lifting weights or
hitting the bag or anything else. You're just
not going to get that kind of working out. I
can't agree with you more. And it's so difficult.
That's what's crazy. You'll slit your ass off.
You're in there with a bunch of housewives and
shit and you're like, this is like the silent
struggle. It's humbling. Nobody knows. No, it's
humbling. If you see like two doorways, right,
and one of them is like fucking C .T., Ollie,
Fletcher's. Fucking super pump iron addicts gym,
which is hard work right next to it is the yoga
studio You're like, well once you get done with
all that hard work, you'll go over to that yoga
studio No, there's two different kinds of hard
work going on. It's no joke two different kinds
of hard work. Yes, sir So what do you do now
in terms of like you got over this? Five years
ago. You're in this bad situation when your body's
not working right now. Everything's working great
again Well, I had two heart surgeries also. Whoa
So, you know your heart so I had a hole in it
So, you know, you're not supposed to have a hole
in your heart and be a seal and it was born with
it I was born with it. It went undetected and
Me pushing so hard. So in 2009 I was training
for this race across America and I just couldn't
go anymore. Another pitfall in my life was the
hole, and I was pretty much off active duty seal
for three years. You know, I had two heartstrings,
them trying to fix it, so the hole was significantly
large. Like how big? They say it was as big as
a quarter. I'm like, how the hell is it as big
as a quarter? Yeah, that's a pretty big hole
in your heart, because they had two helix patches.
I'm like, that's impossible. The helix patches,
they're in my heart, so the two stents. What
is a helix patch? It is like a little mesh, very...
Like what they do for hernias? Like something
like that? Maybe something like that. So they
went through my femoral artery, and they placed
this patch. To go through your artery? Yeah,
they went through my femoral artery. Like with
a camera? Yeah. So the camera was down through
my throat. And they put this catheter through
my femoral artery that went to my heart. They
went and they took this Helix patch, they placed
it in there, and then they found out six months
later that the hole wasn't covered up enough
yet. Because the whole was just I mean in the
healers patch was very damn big so they put and
they go back in there in 2010 How does the patch
adhere to your heart? I guess your heart heals
around the patch. So but how do they stick it
in place? I I guess they put it where the holes
at uh -huh, and then it kind of like inflates
The hole is that and then that thing goes in
there and then it kind of covers the hole and
then the heart So there's two things in my heart
right now that the heart is kind of covered up.
Whoa Okay, so here's it. So there you go. Jamie's
got a an image of it for us. Whoa So so it's
attached to this little probe right and then
they put it over the area where the injury is
Wow, that's insane. Yeah atrial septum defective
I had atrial septal defect So basically everything
I've done, I don't got from medicine. Oh shit.
I'd be done. That's so crazy. They could do that.
Yeah. So I was out for, um, I was off active
duty for three years. So I stuck, I was in a
recruiting area for three years, trying to get
back on active duty. And that's, that was my
life for three years. So they put that patch
in and now your heart's a hundred percent. It's
a hundred percent. It's a hundred percent. Wow.
Yeah. That's incredible. Yeah. I was a losing.
You know blood and I was this I was a bad off
Which is amazing that you were able to do all
that with a hole in your heart That's what the
doctors were saying, you know, because they know
I was a seal so when I went in and the doctor
that found the hole Are you like so they gave
me EKG's all this stuff once again, man? You
it's after I ran like 205 miles, you know, right
that made you're in great shape. I'm like man
I just don't feel good like walking up the stairs
is making me jacked up. So The doctor, Doc Shrek,
he's like, you know, gave me EKG. Go to the doctor,
get an echocardiogram. So I'm in there, getting
an echocardiogram, just chilling out in there.
And the guy's talking to me, has his little wand
in my heart. We're bullshitting about stuff.
And he, when people get quiet, that's fucking
not good, man. So he's in there, just has his
wand in my heart, chilling out. Yeah, man, what
are you doing? Yeah, you know, what's going on?
And he says, I'll be right back. He goes and
gets a doctor. Doctor comes in puts thing on
my heart The doctor gets another doctor Now I'm
just freaking the fuck out. I'm like, okay cuz
when it comes to your heart, you know, it's a
big deal So they come back in they say hey, we
can stop the echocardiogram when they talk to
you in the hallway you have a hole in your heart
and The guy didn't know that I was he knew I
was a Navy guy I don't think he was a seal cuz
not many black guys are seals and he had a conversation
about you know We gotta fix this real quick.
I said yeah, I mean then I came up that I was
the seal He said man, you could have died jumping.
You can die diving You could have died and all
this stuff because basically the hole in your
heart if it gets plugged with something Like
anything like, you know, let's say you get a
bubble from diving or something like that. You're
gonna die, right? So I I I call it luck. I call
it luck Wow So I I got through two surgeries
they put me back on I lost they give you the
first one And then how much when do they realize
that it's not not good enough So they take you
back in you get a bubble study a bubble test
So it's so they like literally send bubbles that
way safe bubbles that way to see if the bubble
goes through your heart So they have this this
echo cardiogram again, and they hook you up I
think to IV or something like that and they throw
these bubbles through your heart and They see
if it goes through After six months when I should
have been healed up the bubble went through So
they had to tell me then hey, we got a you know,
you're not you're not good to go. So I had to
take a year before I can have another surgery
because one of two because that patch had to
be completely Completely healed so they can go
back in time. You knew you had a hole Right,
so they knew I had a hole because of the heart
surgery. Right, but all this time, like when
you're waiting for it to heal, you know you have
an extra hole. Yes, I know I have a hole. Yes.
What were you allowed to do with your body then?
Well, at that time, they go, you know, do how
you feel comfortable. And so, you know, the hole
is not going to kill you right now, but you can't
dive, you can't jump, you pretty much wouldn't
steal anymore, so I was a recruiter for a period
of time. So basically, I... Was crazy about that
is before my second surgery. I was actually training
for Delta Force I was I I wanted to go to Delta
and I was rucking ruck running a lot and Before
my second ruck running mean you're running with
a pack. Yeah a pack on my back with some weight
on How heavy is the pack 50 60 pounds and you
run with that on well? You're supposed to hike
or hump like ruck humping right I ran with it
because I went because you know I that's what
I did right so the day before the day of The
day of heart surgery, I did a ruck run. Jesus
Christ. Because I knew I was going to be out
of commission for a while. So fuck it, man. I'll
get my last one in, dude. Jesus Christ. So all
I could do, I have my training log, so after
my second heart surgery, all I could do was walk.
So I became an ultra walker. I fucking walked
my fucking ass off. And over a period of time,
it took a year for that thing to heal up and
to heal. You know, my first bubble study after
my second heart surgery came back negative. or
positive the bubble went through again oh no
and they're going to crack me open oh man over
that period of time my heart healed around that
thing nicely and i passed the second bubble test
so the first bubble test was how long after a
year it was so the first bubble test after the
first surgery was six months And then you had
to go through a full six months after that for
it to totally heal. Then you have the second
heart surgery. And when does the bubble test
fail after the second heart surgery? It was about
six months. Jesus Christ. And the doctor looked
at me and said, you know, I'm sorry to inform
you, man. We're going to have to crack your chest
open the next time we get in there. And so I
sat back thinking this could be a third heart
surgery. And then they said we have to wait for
six months to see if this thing's going to close
up. Right. And I came back thinking, man, I'm
about to get cracked the fuck open and that bubble
got pinned up, man. Wow. Didn't go through. Maybe
force it through with your mind. I know, right?
Pulls that pitch up. When you're visualizing.
That's it, man. That's something to visualize.
Holy shit, man. That is crazy. It's crazy you
went on a ruck run with a hole in your heart,
too. Well, I did it for several years, so I said,
fuck it. I'm about to keep on going, man. That's
amazing now after all said and done Everything's
good now. Yeah, everything I mean, i'm sure something
must have popped up in my fucking ass not to
do that, you know Everything's good right now.
I'm always waiting for the next thing to pop
up and I handle it the same way I'll attack it.
But yeah as of right now i'm in the best shape
at 43 years old just turned 43 february 17th
I am in The best shape in my life. I'm not knocking
on wood because life fuck it life comes at you,
dude So right fucking knocking on wood come at
me. I mean, I would think that you would be a
go -to guy for injuries. Like if anybody's had...
I've had them all, dude. I've had them all. I've
had them all. When you broke the world record
for chin -ups, didn't you rip your arm apart?
Pull -ups, yeah. So if you pull up the picture,
man, there's a picture of my hand. You'll see,
I don't know... What is it? Pull -ups are...
So pull -ups are here. Hands out. Yeah, hands
out. And chin -ups are hands forward. Right,
hands forward. So I failed three times. I failed
twice before I finally got it the third time.
And the first time I ripped the shit out of my
forearm, Then the second time you'll see there's
a picture of my hand and it it's a third degree
burn. So that's my hand Oh Jesus man, what in
the fuck is going to look at you a bit by a wolf
So what's funny about that is you see that uh,
that doesn't create after one pull -up So if
you can imagine the pain of because you know,
you have one contact point. That's it You're
like running you can overcome it cuz you these
big giant legs and right it's different when
you have these little fragile Punk -ass hands
touching the bar, you know imagine 4030 pull
-ups how many times you're coming on that bar
coming off right now way 207 pounds at the time
so I was a bigger guy I'm like 195 or 185 now
so I was almost 22 pounds heavier So, I was a
lot bigger than I am right there. Bam! You look
pretty thick. Get that shit, man. So, you were
doing it in sets of five? Sets of five. So, as
you see, I have these different people who are
witnessing you. You have to have your number
there to make sure that you're, you know, qualified
for the Guinness Book of World Records. That's
14, 15. I have a long way to go. I have another
4 ,015 pull -ups to go. Jesus Christ. So yeah,
and how long did you do this over 24 hours? It
was seven. So I broke it at 17 Wow, and I was
fucking over it What did it feel like in the
last chin up, you know, what actually there's
a video that we have and I was chasing this guy
named Steven Highland So this guy named Steven
Highland had the record and the video is my last
three pulls for broke the record I'm talking
so much shit to this motherfucker. I'm like,
hey motherfucker. You thought I wasn't gonna
get it, huh? Told you bitch -ass motherfucker.
I'm coming after you. I'm here now. It's just
me talking shit It's a cool video, but I felt
um I felt nothing. I was just happy I have to
do more I did 67 ,000 pull -ups in nine months
G in training for a record for 4 ,000 and The
failures so I did the first time in September
Failed miserably on this a day, so I did 2 ,588
or something like that. They'll miss me for millions
of people two months later November, tried again,
failed again. Two months later, in January 19th,
I finally fucking got it. So after I got it,
it wasn't like I'm happy. It was like I ain't
got to do more fucking pull -ups anymore, Roger
that. That's all it was. I had to fucking check
that bitch off, man. But you were doing them
when I got here today. You know what? Because
now it's a part of me, dude. It's a part of me,
man. Don't like doing them. So we're gonna get
some we're gonna get we're not some out You don't
like doing them. So you got to do them. That's
my whole life Isn't it like someone someone gets
drunk on a certain whiskey? Like if they smell
it they'll get disgusted like like Jager meister
or something like that. They smell it. No, right
Is that what it's like with you with chin ups
with a lot of pull -ups with a lot of a lot of
things Yeah, right. I don't like running out
like and people don't believe it but you know
I was I was a big guy twice in my life so hence
the reason why I Just don't like running, man.
It hurts. It's brutal. It sucks going out and
I'm gonna be gone for two hours or I'm gonna
be gone for 39 hours. Right. Running on a one
mile track. Fuck, I'm not crazy, man. This shit
sucks. I mean, you know, people put me in this
category of you must be some crazy guy who loves
it. No, man. No, that's why I do it though. That's
the only way to callous your fucking brain, man.
It's the only way to get hard in life. People
take these classes on mental toughness. Like
even Seals, you have the class about Visualization,
self -talk, eat an elephant one bite at a time,
breathing control. Roger that. You gotta put
yourself in a hellacious situation. It's a lifestyle.
How are you gonna react? How are you gonna react?
All that training goes out the fucking door when
you're in the fucking cold water and you're fucking
miserable and it's the first hour of 130 hours
of hell week and that first wave goes over your
head and you're the coldest you've been in your
life and your mind goes from hour one to hour
one fucking 30. All that fucking self -talk and
shit, dude. You ain't think about anything about
getting the fuck out of here. But if you live
this shit on a daily basis and know how to calm
your mind down, the self -talk will help. All
that stuff will help. But usually we react. We
have pain. We have suffering. We react. And we
react about, get the fuck out of here. We gotta
go. It's those people who are able to control
that fucking feeling of fucking flight and say,
nah motherfucker, there's a way through this.
It's not gonna be here forever. I'm not cold
right now. I went through three of them. I'm
not cold now I'm in a nice warm studio with you.
You got to think about that shit. It's just gonna
end It's gonna end but we don't know that we
don't think that at that time is gonna last forever
and then you get to sit back on Friday with everybody
walking across the You know back on the grinder
all the 16 17 18 guys that graduated Hill week
and you get a chance to watch these guys victorious
And then you get the chance think about that
you take that hot warm shower First thing that
comes to your fucking mind is why the fuck did
I quit? So what keeps me going? I've quit several
things I know what's on the back end of fucking
quitting It's a lifetime of thinking about why
the fuck did I do that? And I ain't fucking doing
that There's something about talking to a guy
like you that a lot of people hope that you're
going to say some magic thing that's going to
click in their brain, and it's going to change
who they are. Like, what is it? What is the thing?
That's why people go to these self -help conferences.
And they take these classes and they hope that
someone's gonna say something that changes the
way their mind works It's hilarious to me. It
is it's kind of hilarious to me, too But what
is also hilarious is that what you're saying
is that you have to? Do those things you have
to suffer you have to live in it you have to
be comfortable in it and then Maybe some of that
shit will help you a little bit along the way
period and I went to When I was a SEAL recruiter,
I got invited to MIT. Smart -ass motherfuckers
there, man. I'm not that. I'm just a geranimal.
I'm a knuckle -draggar. And there was this guy
there. I forget his name, but he was like the
top head guy. Old white guy, all geniused out.
And we were on this panel. And they were asking
us all these questions about the mind, mental
toughness, and shit. And he was answering them.
And I wasn't answering many questions. And I'll
never forget, he was just answering them off
of theory. Mmm, he never put his fucking ass
in shit You read a bunch of fucking books and
you think that you know how the fucking mind
works and shit I had gone through hell since
a kid and then all the way up until now, right?
So I know So that theory is bullshit. Yeah, there's
a lot of good stuff out there You can read from
people but I had lived hell and when you put
yourself in hell That's the only time you can
figure out how the fuck to get through that motherfucker.
You can't read somebody else's book about some
theory on how to do shit. Some guy who sat up
in their nice warm office and wrote some book
with a nice cup of coffee in the fucking hand.
No. I want to see that guy who immersed himself
in fucking hell and he thought about quitting
and leaving and his wife and his kids and why
am I here? Is it worth it? All this crazy shit
is still said. and found out a way to get through
it. So basically that's the bottom line of it
all. We all want to read about how we can quickly
get somewhere. That's why the six minute abs
and all that sort of shit is so powerful. You
may get some results from it, but they're not
permanent. The permanent result comes from you
fucking, I say it all the time, you have to suffer.
You have to make that a tattoo on your fucking
brain. So when that hard time comes again, you
don't forget it You may forget it for a second,
but you can go back in the cookie jar. I call
it. It's a It's something that we've all endured
I call it the cookie jar and we often forget
how hard we are but you gotta reflect back take
a couple seconds reflect I've been through this
I've been through that and then remind yourself.
I'm a bad motherfucker and Then you can get through
that shit. But if you don't believe it You ever
endured shit? You're just blowing smoke, man.
And you're not gonna get through anything. What
was this guy saying? Like what was his theories
that he was throwing out there? His theories
was about, I forget exactly what it was, but
it was something about what the mind does under
stress. And how we can't, he said how we can't
do something. And I did it. I did what he said
we couldn't do. Like what was he saying he couldn't
do? It was something about if you're born, If
you're born a certain way, if you're born a certain
way, you can't become this way. It was totally
saying that who I am now, like I had to be born
with some, not genetic power or some gift from
God, but I had to have some kind of special gift.
I had to have some kind of special gift. And
I forget what set me off, but it was that we
had to be, to be somewhere, you had to be born
with it. What was the concept and I know what
I was born with and I know the battle that I
had in my mind So when he said it I just sat
there look at my face and somebody the crowd
asked me a question And I totally contradicted
everything he said and I was like nah, man I
mean I fucking know for a fact that you can be
this fucked up, dude Like really fucked up dude
and with the right mindset It sounds so easy
with the right mindset doesn't sound easy I know
what you're saying. It sounds very simplistic
answer right you can You can but you have to
go into those dark chambers that we often shut
off You got to open them up you got open up and
fight that fucking demon Get in there talk to
that motherfucker say what's up? And we often
take the we all like to take this four lane highway
the easy highway has It has fucking signs, it
has restaurants. We all love that four lane highway.
We always step over the shovel. And all I did
was I picked up that fucking shovel, and that
shovel, I made my own path. And you may have
big boulders and shit, they may be getting 200
miles up the road faster than you, but going
through this path of life, this journey over
here that you make yourself, that's incredibly
difficult. What comes out the other end of that
motherfucker is some glorious shit that you can't
even explain to people. And we're afraid. Bottom
line is most of us, even the people who have
all these theories and shit, it's easier to accept
the fact that I'm just not good enough. I wasn't
made to do that. And yeah, some of us can't be
LeBron fucking James. But I'll tell you right
now, man, we can do a lot of shit when it comes
to this pure arm guts and willpower and getting
through shit. We have a lot more with a lot.
more than we think we have. Yeah, the problem
with a guy like that, with his theory, is that
his theories are based on results. And those
results are based on human beings. And most human
beings, there's certain people that are born
with certain gifts, like a guy like LeBron James,
obvious physical talent. You know, John Jones
in MMA, obvious physical talent. But there's...
When you look at someone who's super successful,
you always assume... that it has to be because
of some sort of physical gifts because people
look at themselves and I'm sure this doctor this
old dude probably had like a little gut and probably
exactly how he looked little tiny arms and weak
shoulders and probably thought well there's certain
people that are just mesomorphic and probably
broke it down all these scientific terms right
you know they they they just have a fast twitch
muscle fibers and they'll say all this crazy
shit that is true at the very highest levels
of the winners right But it doesn't mean that
you can't become that. No. It just means that
it's too painful for most people to go through.
So very few people ever get there. So if you
look at the actual results, he would be correct.
But he's not correct because he doesn't take
the shovel. Exactly. That's the moral of the
story. Does not some easy lit up street life
path with nice smooth roads. That's right. It's
a difficult motherfucker where you're going to
fail and you're going to be in your head. You
could be saying, I'm not good enough. And it's
how you get through that. how you get through
that on a daily basis when that thing is saying
man I'm 43 I've done so much you start to become
civilized the refrigerator gets full you start
making money and you start I'm not getting cold
anymore I'm retired once in at 40 people shouldn't
be playing basketball or football or beating
you start to believe this shit It becomes in
your fucking mind like there's people who are
retiring, you know at 40 something years old
or 30 something years old at 43 I'm still putting
a hundred mile weeks still doing thousands of
pull -ups do thousands of push -ups Because I'm
not allowing myself to become civilized the worst
thing that happened to a man has become civilized
You lose that fucking fight. You lose that why
the fuck am I doing this shit? I'm good You ain't
good man. You ain't never fucking arrived And
that's just my mentality. You may have more,
but you never fucking arrive. You want to be
uncommon amongst uncommon people. Period. Uncommon
amongst uncommon people is one of the greatest
ways to put it. That's it. For me, what got me
in trouble with the Navy SEALs is I wanted to
be one so bad. So bad, I fought my ass off. And
I saw them as uncommon people. Very uncommon.
But once you become a Navy SEAL, You're all Navy
SEALs, so guess what happens? You're fucking
common again. I wanted to be uncommon amongst
uncommon people. I wanted to be the guy, I don't
care if you fucking like me, I don't care if
you don't understand me. I didn't give a fuck.
Once I went through this fucking journey, this
path of life, you ain't got a whole bunch of
fucking guys that don't fucking like me. I don't
give a fuck. I'm a warrior. Period. There's a
lot of guys that have been in a lot more combat
than me. A warrior's not always that. A warrior's
a motherfucker who says, hey, I'm here again
today. I'm here again tomorrow. I'm going to
be here the next day. I'm 50 years old. I'm still
fucking getting after it. It's a person that
puts no fucking limit on what's possible. And
that's what got me in trouble a lot. That's why
I went to Ranger school as a SEAL. That's why
I try to go to Delta Force twice. I've been through
all these different training programs, because
I was looking for, in the military what I saw
is, in the training, these people get their ass
handed to them. After they get out a lot of them
get civilized. I Always wanted to go back into
training No matter where I was at I wanted to
go back to war and the war was in that training
program Where you see guys who can quit guys
who are brutal guys who are suffering guys who
are you go? So as a CEO you don't volunteer for
Ranger school I did I put in seven chips got
turned down my eighth get you know got accepted.
I went at 28 29 years old and They go why did
you go? Because I started becoming civilized.
I started becoming complacent. I Need to get
my fucking ass kicked again And when you go as
a seal going down to you have no rank in Ranger
school, you could be a major You're just fucking
Joe Brown. You're nobody and you're not eating
you're not sleeping So I always would put myself
I would immerse myself in shit like that. Even
I would climb the ladder And I intentionally
fall back down that motherfucker to say all right,
man Getting soft dude getting soft Kick your
fucking ass again. Yeah, you know it's kind of
the process Did you find resistance from that
amongst other guys? That didn't like to make
that you were making them uncomfortable because
that is something that people There's a natural
instinct that people have when someone's working
harder than them to somehow another diminish
that person Well, I know that a lot of guys don't
want me for a lot of reasons and I realize that
I am a guy that doesn't care if you like me or
not and When you're an alpha male and you're
against other alpha males and we eat our own
alpha males eat their own and i love that shit
let's fucking go man i want to eat hey man i'm
all about that kind of mentality but i would
sometimes take it to another level you know i
wasn't part of a of a good old boy network i
didn't want to be part i wanted to be david fucking
goggins for too long in my life and it got me
in trouble for too long in my life i wanted to
be accepted growing up Lied I fucking did what
I could if you fucking like UFC and I didn't
I love it I love it man. Let's go fucking watch
me be my friend be my buddy that fucking weak
-ass shit I found out through this path of life.
Who is David Goggins? Who am I? So going through
all I did it alone There was no fucking trophy
on the fucking wall the mantle that trophies
in my fucking brain No one helped me get to know
my pay my fucking bills. No one did shit for
me No one ran those fucking miles lost that fucking
weight with look I suffered on my own and developed
this man who said it's who I am man a very competitive
ultra competitive do that Take it what you want,
man. I call that personal sovereignty Exactly.
There's not a lot of people that have that that's
me There's a lot of people that change who they
are depending upon what people want from them
and that's that's me. Yeah That's important,
man. And most people struggle their whole life
to find out who they are. Struggle their whole
life to find out what defines them, what they
actually enjoy, and what they don't. You start
putting yourself in situations that suck, you'll
find yourself. Yeah. You'll find it real quick.
That is the thing, right? And that's one of the
things that I've gotten from paying attention
to you is that what you're preaching, what you're
talking about is finding yourself through struggle.
That's it. It's the only way to find yourself.
You don't find yourself. If you like bench pressing,
and you bench press all the fucking time, what
are you finding out? If you like to swim, that's
all you want to do is swim, what are you finding
out? People talk about triple down on your fucking
strengths. That's the fucking weakest shit in
the world. No. Triple down on your fucking weaknesses.
Yeah, find out something about yourself. You
already know that the good shit You already know
the happy shit, right? That's why I'm I on my
face because well, don't you talk about good
times? You know how to get through that shit
motherfucker You don't need a fucking you you
don't need no one tell you how to get to that's
happy, right? That's easy shit, right? I'm gonna
tell you how you can help yourself get through
the times that suck real life This is real life
90 % of your life will suck Ten percent will
be fucking happy. You may be lucky guy and have
a lot of fucking money have a great ass woman
all this shit Trust me one -on -one with that
fucking guy. He's missing something His life
still sucks because he hasn't faced something
that bothered him his whole fucking life Something
still eating that motherfucker up almost everybody
everybody eating you the fuck up But maybe you
found a good way how I did growing up on how
to ignore that voice as saying You ain't facing
some shit Period man. I'm not special. I just
stopped listening. I listened to that voice It
was why I talked so fucking aggressive people
said man. Do you believe in God you cuss so much?
When I say fuck It's it's letting you know what
I'm thinking if I try to make it all pretty and
shit. That's not what my life was It was a violent
violent struggle daily To get where I'm at today.
I'm not gonna water it down I'm not gonna water
it down. This shit wasn't fun. It ain't fun today.
But I'm happy. Don't you think that your happiness
is probably elevated by the amount of pain that
you've gone through? 100%. So the amount of suffering
that you understand, the amount of pain that
you've gone through makes you appreciate the
happiness and the beautiful moments with much
more intensity? That's what weak people miss
about my story. Weak people hear this soft kid.
Oh my god. He must be miserable. Oh my god What
the hell is wrong with him? You're missing the
fucking story. You're not listening to the story,
man Look what I overcame If that is a put some
badge of honor tattooed in your fucking brain
for the rest of your life You can die today talking
to Joe Rogan You're missing the story man. Am
I happy? What the fuck do you think? Don't miss
it. Don't misunderstand the passion in which
I speak for not being intensely happy happiest
person in the world But I'm not done So not gonna
speak to you like oh, man. Everything is great.
No, I have a lot more shit to do a lot more shit
to do Well, this is in the same use of the word
that you used the warrior's mentality the warrior's
life, right? This is this is the way that you
can keep balanced and sane right and and keep
good grip on who you are period and like there's
a quote that was said I don't know who said it
but it was a great quote this guy said going
into combat going into war out of the hundred
men that go into war ten shouldn't even fucking
be there 80 of them are just targets ten do most
or nine do most of fighting one is a warrior
and it's a true quote to life Saw it going through
training. I saw it everywhere. I went there's
so many people who just show up to life that
shouldn't even fucking be around and There's
a few people do all the work. I wanted to be
part of that nine and I'm working towards being
that one and That's just how I live my life.
Now. What are you doing with your life these
days right now? I keep the same. I'm very routine.
I get every morning I run I go to the gym and
then at nighttime I stretch out I am Just trying
to develop a business, costing me a lot of money
trying to do that. I'm just getting out. I'm
an introvert. So I never want to get on social
media. I'm not big on that. I'm big on being
with yourself. I believe all these fucking cameras
and phones and shit. It takes you away from the
most powerful thing in the world, which is your
fucking mind. So I try hard to continue to grow
that I'm trying to break a record again I'm trying
to cross Death Valley as fast as possible top
of Mount Whitney and I'm constantly trying to
put goals in for me, but the biggest thing is
I'm trying to find more of myself and only way
I can find more is to silence the world out as
much as I can because it's getting busier every
day it's getting faster and the faster it gets
the more you are Missing who the fuck you are
So I trap my own mind a lot and say look man
I put my phone away I put shit away and I go
dark I go dark a lot and it's because I have
to find out I'm on a journey of life and we all
have a different journey and I want to be in
my fucking pine box and I believe your spirit
lives forever has to it's too fucking powerful
no way in hell that thing just dies when you
die I want to be able to look back on my life
when I'm all dead and be so fucking proud of
myself forever this is all temporary shit to
me I want to be forever proud of who I was as
a man and change who I used to be. The liar,
the insecure guy, the guy who can, whatever.
I want to be proud. If I die now, if I die at
80, if I die at 90, 100, I want to look at myself
and say, proud of myself. because you've gone
through so much struggle, you appreciate happiness,
true happiness. Do you think that you appreciate
discipline because you weren't disciplined? Do
you think you appreciate the hard work you put
in because you used to be weak? Yes, I appreciate
self -discipline. Yes. I never had, and the crazy
thing about, you know, you say that, I didn't
have a motherfucker come wake me up at three
o 'clock in the fucking morning and say, hey,
you gotta get your shit in. I had no trainer.
I didn't have a nutritionist. It was the self
-discipline that I had to survive, not survive,
I was weak, to thrive. No one said, hey man,
you're 297 pounds, man. I'm gonna help you out.
I'm gonna help, hey man, you're fucking, you're
not smart. I'm gonna help you out. I had to work
at all this shit. I had to overcome. Self -discipline
is everything. If you don't have it, I don't
look at you right, because I know you're capable
of more. It's not discipline so much for me.
It's all on you. It's all on you. The self part
is what's big. We need someone to hold people
accountable. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit.
We count on people too much to get us through
shit. And we look to our right, we look to our
left, we're looking for help. And if you can
build that self, you can build that total accountability
in one self. And it's not about being selfish.
I'm trying to create a better me. So hopefully
people who are hearing this are taking it the
right way. You can say I Can run a mile ain't
about running 205 fucking miles doing fourth
arc being a city about all that shit shit doesn't
matter I want you to see how fucking far you
can go and that's all it's about yourself and
That's where it all comes from Wilson I guarantee
you've already done that what you experienced
from watching that television show and what what
got you out the door what got you to sort of
take the first steps to change your life. What
you experience by watching Rocky, those moments
of inspiration, those are critical for people.
They need to know that someone's done something,
that someone's done something that's greater
than what they can imagine themselves doing,
and they want to take a step towards trying to
be better. That inspiration is gigantic, and
sometimes it comes across as corny. People read
too much of it online. It drowns out. You lose
that the meaning gets lost. I mean, there's and
there's a lot of posers. There's a lot of people
out there that are They're pretending that they're
trying to offer up inspiration or a true honest
account of their experiences But really what
they're trying to do is say something that's
gonna get likes, right? You know, they're trying
to say things that they think people are gonna
go. Yeah double high -five, right? You know,
there's a thing that people are doing when they're
just trying to just Get social cred. That's it.
Yeah social media is man. I'm gonna paint you
the picture of my fake life, right? Right, I
paint you a picture of my fucking real life Yeah.
Period. Like it or not, man. But that real life
is fuel for people. It's fuel for me. I mean,
I love that shit. I live off of it. There's a
lot of people that I follow online, and you're
one of them, that I can get something out of
that. I could watch a short clip of you talking.
I'm sure clips of this podcast, people are gonna
play these clips and go for fucking crazy runs
afterwards. Right. Well, I hope so. Fuck yeah,
they're gonna. You don't even have to hope. It's
gonna happen. That's good. It's good. What is
this business you're doing? Well, it's my own
Goggins LLC Basically, I I'm investing in myself
I'm investing in myself and I hope that this
story is can can change Somebody's life not to
be me because they about me and I and I I try
to be as real as I can Because we're all fucking
suffering in this world. We're all hurting and
I try to Take away all titles you want to give
me that you know that I did not come from that
shit That's why I have to be so authentic and
so real about my own insecurities, my own faults,
just being a fucked up person. I'm not the best
at anything. I'm not gifted. I'm just driven.
And it's all about trying to share that message
with people. This is all about, I speak to a
lot of people and that's what I do now. And how
are you doing it as a business? I do some motivational
speaking, but right now I'm not really trying
to make a lot of fucking money. I'm just trying
to build the brand as authentic as possible because
I don't want to build it too fast because my
biggest fear in life is people can read right
through a motherfucker that's not real. I do
it all the time. Like a lot of people have these
great quotes and they mass produce. I can't mass
produce something, man. Right. And they have
these great quotes and shit, but are you living
that motherfucker? What you just quoted? and
how powerful it may sound, are you getting up
every fucking morning? I'm not working out, whatever.
Are you really getting the fuck after? Are you
just talking to motivate people? Right. And I
don't want to be that guy. Are you talking to
pretend that you're really getting after it?
Exactly. And a lot of people make this big money
over here to the side, which is why I've been
made a lot. And they talk this shit. And they're
off this and it's gone. They're not authentic
at all, man. It's all this shit. And I read it
all the time. I'm like, man, this guy ain't bullshit.
Bullshit, man. Fucking wake up, get after it,
live what you're saying, and then it comes, people
can see. When I talk, the reason I talk so fucking
dispassionate, because I'm reliving my fucking
life. I'm reliving this morning when I got up.
I didn't want to do that shit. I'm reliving everything
I did, and I can't speak to you like all calm
and shit. Shit sucks. It sucks man. So whenever
I start talking about like after this podcast,
you'll see man. God you're so calm right now
What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm not going
back through that shit, man I'm not I'm not going
back through the the suffering and shit that
it took to become who I am today So I'm slowly
trying to build this brand to the point where
I can slowly Hopefully make people from motivated
to driven because motivation is crap. It's shit
people right now Maybe listen to this shit. They'd
be motivated to go run if it's cold somewhere
where they're at A lot of my friends will shut
that door, go back inside. That's motivation.
It comes and go as how you feel. If you and your
wife are good, if you and your kids are good,
if you're good at work, you're motivated. I like
a motherfucker whose life is imploded, ain't
got shit in life, and says, I still got to fucking
get after it today, man. That's what it's about.
So that's when you move from motivation to driven
to obsessed. And I want people to realize, once
you get to this person over here, the driven
obsessed part, You're unstoppable this commitment
that you have to authenticity is one of the reasons
why people are connected to what your message
is That's one of the reasons why what you're
saying. You don't want to grow it too fast. You
don't want it to be bullshit You're terrified
of that thing just like we were talking about
with weak people terrified of seeing that weakness
in yourself, right? You know, we all see that
we've all seen motivational things that are bullshit
We've all talked to people that are talking and
you realize there's nothing really They're connected
to they're not really connected to their words
the words just a bunch of words they've pieced
together because they sound like something that
someone who's You know enlightened on the subject
would say right? Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't
doesn't connect at all so your struggle now is
to try to figure out how to stay you and Get
the message out, but still be fully connected
to that message right? That's you know it's not
so much a struggle because I'm not really about
I'm not driven by the business. I'm not driven
by trying to be... I make a very small salary
from being retired from the military. That's
all I need. So I'm not fast to... I'm a minimalist
motherfucker. Give me a backpack, a fucking ground
to sleep on and a pull -up bar and a fucking...
some running shoes and a subway sandwich or some
shit and I'm fucking straight. So it's... I believe
in patience. I'm a patient dude. I can watch
a piece of grass grow for 20 years. Because I
know that this is how you get somewhere in life.
By being that monk -like mentality and being
able to watch something grow very calmly, patiently.
And that's all I'm doing right now. It's not
about money. It's not about people knowing me.
I don't care if you like me. Whoever wants to
hear this, it's out there. It's out there. So
your goal is to grow this? Right. Slowly. Very
slowly. And your goal is to grow this in order
to impact people? Period. That's it. It's not
about me. What do you get out of impacting people?
It's a good question. I don't get anything out
of it. I'm a tool. But you must get something.
There must be personal satisfaction. There must
be a connection to those people. It must be enriching
to you. It's hard to connect with people because
there's quite a few now that are coming in. Right.
It's my duty. It's my duty to share. It's kind
of like, it's somebody who discovered a new earth,
you know, and discovered the people in the water
source and the food source. I discovered a whole
other part of your fucking brain that a lot of
people don't even know about. It's my job by
being a fucking honest journey, being a discovery
person, and being the person that maybe I didn't
discover this part. I discovered a very important
part that I haven't met many people that have
discovered this part. I'm sure there's a lot
out there, but it's my job now take these weak
people in the category that I was in and say
uh -uh Stop reading the bullshit stop listening
to the bullshit And if my story of success can
impact somebody it is my job is my duty To share
the story as much as I'm not really fond of it
I I'm not I'm the kind of guy that wants to sit
in the fucking room and just be me Just be me
alone by myself It's who I am But I have to get
uncomfortable and tell people all this shit.
I think it feels good telling people I had a
fourth grade reading level in high school. I
stuttered. I lied to people to be their fucking
friends. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel
good at all. But maybe somebody's doing the same
shit. And maybe they can realize, wow, that motherfucker
was a piece of shit. And he fucking now is a...
Navy SEAL retired guy and runs these miles and
was 297 pounds and pathetic fucker and wow And
people say why are you talking so it's the fucking
truth. I was a fucking pathetic motherfucker,
man People cannot say that to themselves this
we have to choose these great fucking magical
words that that makes that make people feel good
Tell yourself the truth If someone calls you
fucking fat They may be bullying you, but you
might be fucking fat Someone calls you dumb.
It's mean, but you might be fucking dumb It's
life man take it for what it's worth and change
it and that terrible feeling when someone does
tell you they're fat You can use that as fuel
as fuel period and that's all this is about and
where it goes if it goes somewhere and Whatever,
you know Don't give a shit. Well, you said something
that I think of when I run and it's that most
people quit at 40 % I said that's my 40 % rule
man. I love that my 40 % rule man and I am I
Really developed that through my heart surgeries
and I developed that through that first hundred
mile run is I thought I had given a hundred percent
But I was on that chair at mile 70. I was fucked
up. I thought I'd given a hundred percent and
to go that last I go man There has this I wasn't
even nearer 100 % so I came up with this thing
called the 40 % rule. It's basically where you
it's like a car you put a governor on a car and
They say the car can go 130 that governor stops
the car at 91 and you're driving thinking man
I want to fucking floor it but I can't go I can't
go any faster We do that to our brain. We put
a governor in our brain second. We feel pain
discomfort Suffering all those words that we
hate to say because we in this happy peaceful
world. We live in now We stop We slow down and
if you can get through these different barriers
and gain five percent two percent three percent
that forty percent becomes sixty that sixty percent
becomes seventy and eighty and ninety and Then
you'll hopefully one day near a hundred. I don't
I don't know many people who probably add a hundred
I mean we think we're there, but there's so much
more isn't a hundred at death's door though.
I was I loved that I think it's true I think
that's 100 % true. I think when you were laying
in that tub you'd knocked on the door. That is
100 % true. No one has ever... That is 100 %
true. I didn't give 100 % in that 101 mile run
I did for the first time. So that's the scary
thing. That's the scariest thing in the world.
I didn't die. You probably gave 99 .9999 and
got out of there with your life. I guarantee
it. Man dude, I don't know how to end this any
better than that. So let's just wrap this up
If people want to find your stuff, what's the
best place to go and look for it? I'm just at
David Goggins man social media on Instagram Facebook
I don't tweet that much stuff out because I'm
I write these I write messages and I always link
that, you know on Twitter to my Facebook and
Instagram But it's just at David Goggins is an
honor and a privilege, brother. Thanks very much,
man. I really, really appreciate it. Thank you.
David Goggins, ladies and gentlemen. Go after
it, you motherfuckers! Come on! Dude, if that
doesn't fire people up...