WEBVTT

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Hey y 'all, this is Caroline and this is Maddie

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and this is our first episode of Unity Through

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Christ podcast. We are so excited to have you

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on here tonight or today or wherever you are

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in the world. Yeah, so our goal is to make disciples

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that make disciples as disciples ourselves and

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we are two believers becoming unified as sisters

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through Christ. so should we just get into like

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how we met yes wait hold on but first i need

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to know how was your week what was your highlights

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what'd you do um okay so let me just like think

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about this i was dog sitting um this was the

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end of my the last like dog set sitting thing

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that i had i was going from house to house since

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january or no december 24th and i just got back

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home i think there's like one night in between

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that i was like staying at my own house um so

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i was just going from house to house um dog sitting

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and one thing i bought elevation worship concert

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tickets no way i'm so excited that's what i was

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gonna tell you wait yeah I want to go. I know,

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I know, I know. But it's at the end of February.

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So I'm going to Pennsylvania. I'm going to see

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my friend. Oh, wait. I want to go see Elevation.

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I want to go to Pennsylvania. Yeah. Not at the

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end of February. That's too cold. Oh, you're

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going to have so much fun. Yeah. I'm so excited.

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So I'm going there. I literally dropped like.

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I think it was like the tickets were inexpensive.

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They're like 200 bucks. But then my plane tickets

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were like 350. Yeah. And I was so upset because

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I had credits and it said it expired the end

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of January. And I thought that meant like it

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expired. Like I could still use it before January,

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but I could do it at any date. But I could buy

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the tickets. Oh, you had to use it by the end

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of January? No, I had to buy the tickets before

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the end of January. So I was going to end of

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February. So it just was like. I don't have credits

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anymore. I had like, I could have got like a

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free ticket basically. So now I can't use it

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unless I book a trip before the end of January,

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but I'm not. So it's just like, it went away.

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So I can't use those credits, which was like

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upsetting. All right, Delta, fix your stuff.

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Southwest. Southwest, fix your stuff too. um

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but i'm so excited for for that like i'm so excited

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first time ever like this is like my second ever

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concert i think i went to a taylor swift concert

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like way back in the day oh my goodness So I'm

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really so excited for that. You know, before

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tickets were $1 ,005 a piece. Yeah, exactly.

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And then also, okay, I wanted to share this.

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So this morning, I told you I had a Jesus moment.

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Yes. So it was my last day. I was wrapping it

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up at the dog's house that I was sitting for.

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i had ended up like falling back asleep i was

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so tired like this morning i usually wake up

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around seven let the dogs out let them do their

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thing and then i went back to bed i was going

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to leave around like 10 o 'clock and um the pet

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parents were coming home around like that time

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or like it was like 11 or something so they were

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coming like around that time and so i went back

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to bed and i set an alarm for like nine something

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and it was like 9 30. and um i wake up to a couple

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of texts and they're like hey like we got through

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tsa like really fast we're on our way home now

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like we're like an hour away i'm like i need

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to clean the house like it wasn't like like super

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like bad but like i had to like make the bed

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like clean up all my stuff like make the couch

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all nice after the dogs jumped on it and stuff

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like that yeah i'm like oh my gosh take the trash

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out i have so much to do so i'm like frantically

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running around and then my friend called me and

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we're on the phone and i'm like telling her what's

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going on and i'm like oh my gosh i can't find

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the house key i literally can't find the house

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key and i'm like i'm looking everywhere i'm like

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i just had it last night i just i thought i put

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it on the counter you know so i'm looking for

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this house key and i'm like it's probably not

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a big deal like they probably have extras but

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like you don't want to look like that in front

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of a client yeah because then but then they could

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be like oh well what if she just kind of pocketed

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the house not saying you would yeah like exactly

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like you never know how someone's gonna react

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yeah it's like that's my responsibility too like

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as a business owner i need to you know do this

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do these things so I was like, where did it go?

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Like it literally disappeared. I swear I had

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it last night. I'm looking everywhere frantically,

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like sprinting around the house, looking in my

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car, packing up all my stuff at the same time

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and stuff. And like, they're super nice people.

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Like I wouldn't care if like. they came and i

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was like home like that was totally fine it was

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just the fact of like me trying to find this

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house key so i told my friend carly on facetime

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i'm like girl like we need to pray right now

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i'm like lord please help us find this house

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key you know so we're praying on the phone and

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stuff and so um she's like hey maria gotta go

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and i'm like okay i'm gonna go find this house

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key gotta go so he said bye and then we i looked

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in the car I was parked in the driveway and I

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was looking in every single like door, like in

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the back seat, in the front seat, passenger side,

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everywhere. And I went to go like reach over

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into my stuff that I put, just put into the car,

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into like the passenger seat, like through the

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driver's side, basically. And I'm like, why am

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I doing this? Like, let me just walk around.

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And the second I like. like came out of the car

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i like looked down and the key was right on the

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driveway no and i kid you not i had searched

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the car before so i There's no way that it was

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there. Cause like I was around, like I was in

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the driveway and I didn't hear anything fall.

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Nothing had felt like fall out in like my pockets

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or anything. And it literally just appeared in

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the sunlight on the driveway. And like the sun

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was shining off the silver key. And oh my goodness.

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It was such a Jesus moment. I'm like, thank you,

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Lord. That reminds me literally my entire life

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growing up, my grandmother. And as I, you know,

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as we continue this and I talk more and more

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about my grandmother, she's a phenomenal. First

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of all, what do you call her? Nanny. Love that.

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My sweet nanny. Um, I, one of the biggest memories

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that I have from her, literally my entire life,

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all the way up until when I was visiting home,

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visiting her for Christmas. If she can't find

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even the smallest thing, she will walk around

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the house. Jesus, please help me find this. God,

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please help me. Please help me. And I used to

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like, before I came to know Christ, I used to

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be like, Why are you praying to help me find

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something? Yeah. And then now that I'm an adult,

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I find myself like looking for stuff and like

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walking around. God, please help me. Yeah. Please

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show me where this is. Literally. And it's just

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like, it's so cool. You always find it, don't

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you? Yeah. Every single time. And she would too.

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And so looking back on it, it would be like,

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she'd be looking for like a checkbook or something.

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Yeah. And she would pray for it. And then. I

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don't know where. And it wouldn't, I mean, it

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wouldn't be immediate, but it's just so cool

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to see, like to look back and see, like that's

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the level of codependency that we need on, on

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God. Right. The, the level of codependency of

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just like, please help me in this situation.

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I know that it seems so silly and frivolous to

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ask you to help me find a poop bag for my dog

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right now because I'm fresh out. But like, please.

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and then you best believe you know if it's his

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will you're gonna find one in your left front

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door pocket something i don't know that's like

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growing up um i was raised by my great aunts

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but one of my great aunts um she was like in

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a bunch of car wrecks and she was kind of like

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not disabled but like she would always like she

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had a handicap like sign and stuff so she would

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always park like up front near the stores and

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she would be like praying and driving she's like

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lord please give me this handicap handicap spot

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and i swear or she'd be like let me like find

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me a parking spot because there's so many cars

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and like every time a car just pulled out yes

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you get the parking spot like it's just so amazing

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and you know what's so cool is like when they

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do that and then they pull in the parking spot

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the first thing they do is praise jesus yeah

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it's like thank you thank you god right and i

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think that's just something that we sometimes

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like going through the day -to -day it's just

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so easy to be like Make a step back, right? And

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make sure to give God his thanks and stuff. Exactly.

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Just be grateful. Have gratitude. Dude, that's

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amazing. First of all, I'm jealous a little bit.

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God says not to be jealous. I'm sorry. I'll repent

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and ask for forgiveness. But I really want to

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go see Elevation. Yeah, I'm so excited. I listen

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to them just like in my car, like worshiping.

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And I just feel it so much. And I can't even.

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like think about being in person in the same

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room like with tiffany hudson and just the lord

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is everything is gonna be amazing and like even

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just like on the treadmill like before my workouts

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i like watch tiktoks about it and i'll just like

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feel it so much so i know i'm just gonna be like

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this is gonna be a whole different experience

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so i'm so excited i um got to see i can't even

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remember remember it and it was like years and

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years and years ago i had just lost my stepmom

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and Maybe it was Hillsong. Okay. I want to say

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it was Hillsong United back in Birmingham. And

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it was right after I lost when Oceans was really

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big. Do you remember that? Do you know that song?

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No. If I heard it, maybe. You know it. Maybe.

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But Oceans was a really big song. Anyway, but

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so got to go see them in concert back in Birmingham.

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And it was just like. Unreal. Yeah. And I was

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going through a gnarly level of grief at the

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time. Yeah. And it was just like to feel. god's

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presence in an area like that is just and with

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everyone else too just like the community yeah

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yes yes um that's amazing i'm so excited for

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you y 'all just post concert we can talk about

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it i'll talk about my experience yes um we're

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already getting ahead of ourselves how was your

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week first of all oh it was good it was good

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it was good um Honestly, I started a new job

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this week. How was that? It was phenomenal. I

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don't want to get into too much detail, but I

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love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. But

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Maddie, do you want to tell them how this came

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about? okay sure okay so basically let me go

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back um so we first met at a bible study that

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we did at hope city that's the church that we

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go to um and it was like my second i think it

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was like my second or third time i went to that

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bible study you had already been going for like

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a couple weeks right yeah i had already rambled

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a lot yeah so fun fact about me i'm actually

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very like um wait extroverted or introverted

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introverted probably introverted you don't like

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to you're not very social yeah yeah introverted

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in big groups on like a one -on -one basis if

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i get to know you i'm very like i'll talk like

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your ear off i'm so annoying sorry um But yeah,

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like in big groups, I'm so like, I'm just going

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to sit back and listen. And like, if I get comfortable,

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then I'll talk, you know? So like at first I

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was just like, I think I said like one sentence

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in the group. You literally said, my name is

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Maddie. And I think that was it. My name's Maddie.

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I'm from Pennsylvania. That's all you know about

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me. And I'm just kind of sitting there rambling

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upon about my entire life story. I probably cried.

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Like, who knows? I love that though. Like, I

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love that for you, but I'm just not that person,

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but I will, I'll get there. Like I can get there.

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so i was just like sitting back listening to

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everyone i really liked you i was like oh she's

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pretty cool like she's very like she's she's

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talking a lot and i like what she's saying and

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i'm just like a the whole time and so um it was

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like maybe like a couple days or like a week

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goes by or whatever i don't remember the perfect

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timeline but um caroline had texted in our group

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chat our bible study group chat being like um

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i may or may not be starting a podcast tonight

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yeah because they had asked like what everyone

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was doing And so, I saw it. Again, like, I'm

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not very active in the group chat. Like, why

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am I not? Like, I should be. It's okay. I'm kind

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of. Like, I'm kind of active. It's okay. It's

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okay. I go with tiger days. I heart the messages.

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Yeah, that counts. I see them. That counts. I

00:11:57.809 --> 00:12:00.049
acknowledge them. The acknowledgement is all

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that matters. Perfect. It's the thought that's

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there. Perfect. Okay. So, I, like, saw that you

00:12:04.889 --> 00:12:07.590
said that. And, like, I was just, like, always.

00:12:08.429 --> 00:12:10.649
I listen to Christian podcasts, like, myself.

00:12:10.850 --> 00:12:13.889
And I, like, feel so drawn to. them and something

00:12:13.889 --> 00:12:16.730
the Holy Spirit was like you should start a podcast

00:12:16.730 --> 00:12:19.110
like to me and I'm like oh my gosh she said that

00:12:19.110 --> 00:12:20.570
she's gonna start a podcast I bet it's about

00:12:20.570 --> 00:12:23.629
Jesus because you are just like so on fire for

00:12:23.629 --> 00:12:25.690
Jesus like I could tell but just by being in

00:12:25.690 --> 00:12:29.610
the same presence of you right so um I was like

00:12:29.610 --> 00:12:31.610
she's definitely starting a podcast about Jesus

00:12:31.610 --> 00:12:34.669
so a couple weeks like went by and like we hadn't

00:12:34.669 --> 00:12:36.809
heard anything from Caroline about her podcast

00:12:36.809 --> 00:12:42.120
so I I felt this in my soul like literally like

00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:44.200
a couple weeks it was literally like two i think

00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:45.860
it was two weeks ago weeks ago this was like

00:12:45.860 --> 00:12:47.779
recent yeah holy spirit's like you should reach

00:12:47.779 --> 00:12:49.940
out to her like see what she's did she do it

00:12:49.940 --> 00:12:53.600
like you should you be involved yeah so then

00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:55.960
i had reached out to caroline i'm like hey girl

00:12:55.960 --> 00:12:57.960
like are you still starting your podcast like

00:12:57.960 --> 00:12:59.679
what did i exactly say it was probably like i

00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:03.419
think it was it was like um I'm so weird on text.

00:13:03.539 --> 00:13:08.419
I'm like so lazy. It's okay. I genuinely would

00:13:08.419 --> 00:13:11.059
and could type in all caps if it was socially

00:13:11.059 --> 00:13:15.679
acceptable 24 -7. It just is. I think you texted

00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:18.039
and you were like, Hey, did you ever? No, I typed

00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:20.200
in all caps and I was like, Caroline. Yes, that

00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:22.360
was it. Screaming. Yes. And you were like, did

00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:24.440
you ever, did you ever start your podcast? And

00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:26.080
I was like, or you were like, cause if you did,

00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:29.759
I like want to be featured on an episode or something

00:13:29.759 --> 00:13:32.840
like that. And I was like, um, actually no, I

00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:37.620
didn't because I like, you know, wanted to find

00:13:37.620 --> 00:13:40.100
a co -host and just. didn't really feel like

00:13:40.100 --> 00:13:41.860
a like i don't know i just couldn't figure it

00:13:41.860 --> 00:13:43.679
out i don't have enough ideas yeah and i was

00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:44.960
like i don't know i don't have enough ideas i

00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:46.759
can't just sit here i mean i could sit here and

00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:49.259
talk to myself it would just be very boring i'm

00:13:49.259 --> 00:13:51.779
not gonna lie and drake being the producer would

00:13:51.779 --> 00:13:53.600
sit back and be like i am so sick of hearing

00:13:53.600 --> 00:13:57.620
my wife's voice 24 7 but at the same time i was

00:13:57.620 --> 00:14:01.259
like girl no then i was like i was like girl

00:14:01.259 --> 00:14:03.519
i have so many ideas for you yes i started remember

00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:05.460
i started listening yes you listed all the ideas

00:14:05.460 --> 00:14:08.139
and i was like done you should host it with me

00:14:08.139 --> 00:14:10.720
let's go let's do this i'm like i'm like thinking

00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:13.440
i'm like is she gonna ask me to like host it

00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:15.779
with her i'm like i i was like hinting i was

00:14:15.779 --> 00:14:17.860
like you should make me a guest on your podcast

00:14:17.860 --> 00:14:20.139
and then i'm like and you should do all of these

00:14:20.139 --> 00:14:22.539
ideas and i'm like okay would you just like to

00:14:22.539 --> 00:14:26.559
help do it with me i was waiting you literally

00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:29.950
i was waiting for you to ask okay so hilarious

00:14:29.950 --> 00:14:32.970
so we originally were gonna do um a podcast about

00:14:32.970 --> 00:14:35.690
jesus and cooking but that fell through so it's

00:14:35.690 --> 00:14:39.210
now just about jesus yeah which hallelujah hallelujah

00:14:39.210 --> 00:14:43.610
he's the only bread we need period amen um so

00:14:43.610 --> 00:14:45.750
that's how it came about but literally me and

00:14:45.750 --> 00:14:49.580
caroline have only um met each other like three

00:14:49.580 --> 00:14:52.200
other times literally yeah so we're not stranger

00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:54.779
like we're not strangers to each other no we

00:14:54.779 --> 00:14:58.340
sat together and ate some pizza and had a good

00:14:58.340 --> 00:15:00.740
laugh had a good laugh and planned a whole lot

00:15:00.740 --> 00:15:03.279
but outside of that we don't know any other times

00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:05.559
yeah other times we met yeah yeah it was at the

00:15:05.559 --> 00:15:07.460
bible study yeah how many bible studies were

00:15:07.460 --> 00:15:09.500
you at that i went to i think i went to three

00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:12.299
or four maybe three or four okay yeah so because

00:15:12.299 --> 00:15:13.820
there was like one or two that i wasn't at that

00:15:13.820 --> 00:15:15.279
you were at and then there was like one or two

00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:18.759
that one that you weren't at that i was at yeah

00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:21.899
from that point forward yeah and so we but also

00:15:21.899 --> 00:15:23.539
you can't really like one -on -one connect in

00:15:23.539 --> 00:15:26.960
a group study like that so exactly yeah so then

00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:29.559
we met up for lunch and we were just like we

00:15:29.559 --> 00:15:32.620
both want to do it and I have a good vibe from

00:15:32.620 --> 00:15:36.279
you. I can feel the Holy Spirit within you. So

00:15:36.279 --> 00:15:38.399
I'm like, let's do it. You know, like we're also

00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:40.679
like, I'm like a very much like all in person.

00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:42.500
I don't know about you. Same. I'm so all in.

00:15:42.539 --> 00:15:45.159
I will be doing this in a year and a half from

00:15:45.159 --> 00:15:46.659
now, even if nobody's listening. Yeah, I know

00:15:46.659 --> 00:15:48.519
for sure. Because hello, give me an excuse to

00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:50.279
talk about Jesus on a national platform, please.

00:15:50.600 --> 00:15:52.539
Exactly. And this is so fun. Like we're hanging

00:15:52.539 --> 00:15:56.899
out. Absolutely. I love this. anyways to sum

00:15:56.899 --> 00:16:00.000
up the whole story to sum up the rant to sum

00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.000
up this rant we tend to go on rampages we need

00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:05.299
a hand signal when we're just ranting too yeah

00:16:05.299 --> 00:16:07.820
please tell us like when to stop we're getting

00:16:07.820 --> 00:16:10.679
off topic um this is how we came about like this

00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:12.480
is how our name came about because we were like

00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:14.899
we're literally strangers like you know to talk

00:16:14.899 --> 00:16:16.460
christ uniting through christ wanting to talk

00:16:16.460 --> 00:16:18.720
about jesus so we just want that for everyone

00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:24.340
and i think too a lot of it came from um Truthfully,

00:16:24.340 --> 00:16:30.360
we read about building community with our fellow

00:16:30.360 --> 00:16:32.299
Christians, our brothers and sisters in Christ.

00:16:34.019 --> 00:16:38.639
What does that look like from a stranger to doing

00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:43.600
life together and serving others together? And

00:16:43.600 --> 00:16:47.340
doing the things that God calls us to do in the

00:16:47.340 --> 00:16:49.620
Great Commission, like making disciples that

00:16:49.620 --> 00:16:54.289
make disciples as disciples ourselves. It's really

00:16:54.289 --> 00:17:00.350
just looking at, you know, how do we take two

00:17:00.350 --> 00:17:02.950
people from completely different backgrounds,

00:17:03.090 --> 00:17:04.730
completely different states, completely different

00:17:04.730 --> 00:17:09.390
areas, and quite literally put us in a room and

00:17:09.390 --> 00:17:13.549
learn how to do the whole sister in Christ thing.

00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:17.599
community in christ serving other people through

00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:20.640
jesus's name together yeah and and we're just

00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:22.700
gonna see like our relationship just like grow

00:17:22.700 --> 00:17:25.079
from these episodes because we're just in a way

00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:29.099
that we're able to to you know speak to other

00:17:29.099 --> 00:17:31.980
people and and serve other people and what we're

00:17:31.980 --> 00:17:34.539
able to do through it and i'm just excited truthfully

00:17:34.539 --> 00:17:36.839
that you know If anybody knows me, y 'all know

00:17:36.839 --> 00:17:39.680
I could talk to a literal brick wall, sell ice

00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:42.019
to an Eskimo, talk to a brick wall, do just about

00:17:42.019 --> 00:17:47.859
anything. So when it comes down to it, you know,

00:17:47.880 --> 00:17:51.160
this is something that I have always had a passion

00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:56.039
for. I have always felt, not always, since podcasts

00:17:56.039 --> 00:17:59.720
became a thing, I have always felt, you know,

00:17:59.720 --> 00:18:03.670
a calling for a podcast. And I think this past

00:18:03.670 --> 00:18:06.109
year just truly solidified it through me. You

00:18:06.109 --> 00:18:09.390
know, like, and I'll, I guess that is a good

00:18:09.390 --> 00:18:11.849
segue. I'll dig into a little bit about myself

00:18:11.849 --> 00:18:14.109
and a little introduction of myself and, you

00:18:14.109 --> 00:18:16.829
know, where I came from, where I'm going. And

00:18:16.829 --> 00:18:21.390
only Jesus knows where I'm going. But the, so

00:18:21.390 --> 00:18:27.490
I'm, of course, Caroline, mom. Carol for short,

00:18:27.509 --> 00:18:30.009
if you would like it. I do love a good Carol.

00:18:31.250 --> 00:18:33.930
But you can only call me Carol if you say it

00:18:33.930 --> 00:18:37.109
exactly like that. I don't like Carol, so it's

00:18:37.109 --> 00:18:38.769
okay. If you want me to, I can call you Carol.

00:18:38.829 --> 00:18:40.150
It's okay. We can do a little bit of both. It

00:18:40.150 --> 00:18:42.089
sounds like an old lady name. It is. It's okay.

00:18:42.490 --> 00:18:48.700
Just a smidge. Sorry. You can call me Mads if

00:18:48.700 --> 00:18:51.920
you want. I will. I actually will probably. See,

00:18:52.039 --> 00:18:53.559
we're just getting through this thing and we're

00:18:53.559 --> 00:18:56.779
like learning together and it's fantastic. So

00:18:56.779 --> 00:19:03.799
I think a little bit about me, right? So mom

00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:09.039
of three children, wife of a handsome, handsome

00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:11.980
human. I'm quite literally obsessed with him

00:19:11.980 --> 00:19:17.529
as many people know. Full -time employee, just

00:19:17.529 --> 00:19:23.930
serving at the church, loving, living, and, you

00:19:23.930 --> 00:19:27.150
know. Breathing. Breathing and praising Jesus.

00:19:30.250 --> 00:19:32.750
I'm just finishing your run -on sentence. That's

00:19:32.750 --> 00:19:40.490
it. Anyway, a little bit about myself. So, as

00:19:40.490 --> 00:19:43.950
many people probably did, I grew up in a church.

00:19:44.500 --> 00:19:49.039
Um, so when struggled with abandonment from a,

00:19:49.059 --> 00:19:52.380
from a pretty young age, my, uh, one of my parents

00:19:52.380 --> 00:20:00.539
decided to, to, you know, need to, um, maneuver

00:20:00.539 --> 00:20:03.359
their life elsewhere, uh, and just for their

00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:05.619
mental health, for their, you know, what they

00:20:05.619 --> 00:20:07.339
needed to do. And that's, that's a, you know,

00:20:07.339 --> 00:20:09.079
that's their, that's their decision. That's their

00:20:09.079 --> 00:20:12.779
prerogative. And I respect that. It did a little

00:20:12.779 --> 00:20:14.799
bit of damage on me, so dealt with abandonment

00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:19.599
from a pretty young age, kind of all through

00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:21.839
high school. However, I was in church. Southern

00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:27.339
Baptist Association. Every Wednesday night, church

00:20:27.339 --> 00:20:31.519
choir. Oh, you sung? Yeah, girl, I sung. What?

00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:35.299
Can you sing for me? No, I cannot. Church choir.

00:20:35.539 --> 00:20:39.839
What happened? No. I'm going to get, I'm going

00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:44.900
to get rosy cheeked. So, um, yeah. So Wednesday

00:20:44.900 --> 00:20:47.980
night choir, Sunday night service, Sunday morning

00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:52.900
service, um, GAs, um, all the things. Right.

00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:56.700
So was there every, every week, nonstop. Right.

00:20:57.480 --> 00:21:04.259
Ended up, um, going through high school and ended

00:21:04.259 --> 00:21:10.309
up leading a, a pretty promiscuous lifestyle

00:21:10.309 --> 00:21:14.009
in high school um I didn't really dabble a whole

00:21:14.009 --> 00:21:19.230
lot in like drugs or or of course I would drink

00:21:19.230 --> 00:21:21.329
occasionally in high school but like I didn't

00:21:21.329 --> 00:21:23.730
really do a whole lot of that it was very much

00:21:23.730 --> 00:21:26.089
I looked for love in all of the wrong places

00:21:26.089 --> 00:21:30.910
um and I think that that was a a big aspect of

00:21:30.910 --> 00:21:38.769
what led to a significant amount of of quite

00:21:38.769 --> 00:21:41.509
literally insecurity that i have you know just

00:21:41.509 --> 00:21:44.829
about myself internally um and i think it also

00:21:44.829 --> 00:21:50.950
led to a significant amount of um what's the

00:21:50.950 --> 00:21:57.890
word i'm looking for doubt of myself esteem very

00:21:57.890 --> 00:22:00.970
low self -esteem yeah i didn't have respect for

00:22:00.970 --> 00:22:04.589
myself you know yeah i i looked at myself as

00:22:04.589 --> 00:22:11.359
uh you know just Not important, not worthy, right?

00:22:11.480 --> 00:22:15.279
Not, um, not beautifully and wonderfully made.

00:22:15.619 --> 00:22:21.279
Right. So, uh, ended up, you know, leading a

00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:24.460
promiscuous lifestyle like that ended up with

00:22:24.460 --> 00:22:27.640
me 17 and pregnant. So got pregnant with my oldest,

00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:30.619
uh, while I was a senior in high school. So,

00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:34.980
uh, 17 pregnant, had my first child, the sweet,

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.670
uh, boy of my life. um ended up later on having

00:22:39.670 --> 00:22:43.890
a daughter as well she is also a light in my

00:22:43.890 --> 00:22:47.269
life very similar to me as a person which is

00:22:47.269 --> 00:22:50.950
scary but also amazing and beautiful and awesome

00:22:50.950 --> 00:22:56.390
and gorgeous and just awesome and then uh leading

00:22:56.390 --> 00:23:01.809
to our youngest who of course is she's my child

00:23:01.809 --> 00:23:06.980
actually as rambunctious But also as dedicated

00:23:06.980 --> 00:23:11.119
and has a work ethic like quite literally my

00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:14.299
husband. So I like to say that she's a good,

00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:19.480
fantastic 50 -50 mix of me and Drake. So Jesus

00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:24.900
met me about three years ago. No, I'm sorry.

00:23:24.980 --> 00:23:28.279
Four years ago. Around about this time, four

00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:31.799
years ago. And I will give a very brief synopsis.

00:23:32.750 --> 00:23:35.130
i so what happened like before like when you

00:23:35.130 --> 00:23:37.730
were going to church and stuff like you you believed

00:23:37.730 --> 00:23:41.029
but you weren't following yeah basically um so

00:23:41.029 --> 00:23:43.609
i i believed i went through the motions of believing

00:23:43.609 --> 00:23:50.490
and i went through um you know everything that

00:23:50.490 --> 00:23:53.750
was that was everything physical that a christian

00:23:53.750 --> 00:23:57.890
could do on this earth right i had not fully

00:23:57.890 --> 00:24:02.210
surrendered and i had given my heart to Jesus,

00:24:02.309 --> 00:24:05.369
very, very young, was baptized, all of the things,

00:24:05.450 --> 00:24:09.490
right? There was no full surrender. There was

00:24:09.490 --> 00:24:15.109
never a point where I basically took my hands

00:24:15.109 --> 00:24:18.609
off the wheel and was at rock bottom and said,

00:24:18.730 --> 00:24:22.930
God, I can't do this without you, right? So probably

00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:29.279
about four years ago, I went through a pretty

00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:33.059
significant mental health period, right? And

00:24:33.059 --> 00:24:36.880
during that time frame, you know, Drake and I

00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:40.160
had been married for a little over seven months

00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:45.200
at this point. And, you know, I just, I was not

00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:48.559
living my life for the Lord. And I was not living

00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:51.680
my life in any way that my kids would be proud

00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:53.319
of me. I was not living my life in any way that

00:24:53.319 --> 00:24:55.579
my husband would be proud to call me his wife,

00:24:55.740 --> 00:24:59.059
right? And I was just going through a significant

00:24:59.059 --> 00:25:04.680
mental health journey. Right. So I hit rock bottom,

00:25:04.779 --> 00:25:08.779
a pretty significant rock bottom. I did not want

00:25:08.779 --> 00:25:11.539
to make it out of that rock bottom. Right. Yeah.

00:25:11.740 --> 00:25:16.420
So, yeah, I was just going through the motions.

00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:19.569
So I had gotten saved. You know, when I was really

00:25:19.569 --> 00:25:23.789
young, you know, did a public profession and

00:25:23.789 --> 00:25:27.230
was baptized and everything. But it was never

00:25:27.230 --> 00:25:29.630
a full surrender. Right. So probably about four

00:25:29.630 --> 00:25:34.589
years ago during this this. Mental health stuff,

00:25:34.789 --> 00:25:41.289
I quite literally hit rock bottom. Right. And

00:25:41.289 --> 00:25:47.480
it was a scary place. Yeah. And. I think that's

00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:49.900
probably the number one thing that is the fact

00:25:49.900 --> 00:25:55.319
that our minds themselves are so scary, right?

00:25:57.019 --> 00:26:00.000
But one of the things that like I kind of took

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:05.079
away from that and it's stuck with me is that

00:26:05.079 --> 00:26:12.539
the creator that created my mind is the one that

00:26:12.539 --> 00:26:17.069
can help me. manage it. Right. He's the one that

00:26:17.069 --> 00:26:18.990
has the strength to help me manage it. Right.

00:26:19.029 --> 00:26:21.829
So during this time, um, I of course started

00:26:21.829 --> 00:26:24.410
going back to church and, and really just dove

00:26:24.410 --> 00:26:29.069
into it. And, um, so we were at a church in Alabama

00:26:29.069 --> 00:26:31.450
that, that Drake had, had grown up going to and

00:26:31.450 --> 00:26:33.349
had played the drums in the youth band. And,

00:26:33.369 --> 00:26:38.289
uh, and so we were going there and I, I just

00:26:38.289 --> 00:26:42.690
realized one day, quite literally my family's

00:26:42.690 --> 00:26:45.589
faith. the fact that you know my grandparents

00:26:45.589 --> 00:26:50.369
are were massive christians and my dad is is

00:26:50.369 --> 00:26:55.990
an amazing christian and um just the fact that

00:26:55.990 --> 00:26:58.190
i had all of these great influential people in

00:26:58.190 --> 00:27:01.430
my life that did not earn me a spot in heaven

00:27:01.430 --> 00:27:05.990
right so um it was very clear and so four years

00:27:05.990 --> 00:27:08.910
ago uh at the beginning of excuse me the beginning

00:27:08.910 --> 00:27:14.190
of march i um gave my gave my heart to Jesus

00:27:14.190 --> 00:27:18.369
over the phone with our pastor at the time and

00:27:18.369 --> 00:27:22.109
and then very very shortly after um spiritual

00:27:22.109 --> 00:27:26.750
warfare kicked up right and I I didn't have a

00:27:26.750 --> 00:27:30.049
community I didn't have um a group of people

00:27:30.049 --> 00:27:33.089
to lean into when that spiritual warfare hit

00:27:33.089 --> 00:27:36.910
so we started traveling as a family um and we

00:27:36.910 --> 00:27:39.890
would move once a year for the past four years

00:27:39.890 --> 00:27:43.029
and you know, kids were in a different school

00:27:43.029 --> 00:27:46.029
every year. And, you know, I just was, I was

00:27:46.029 --> 00:27:48.589
working full time as I, you know, as I have been

00:27:48.589 --> 00:27:50.970
the whole time. And, and so I was just like,

00:27:50.990 --> 00:27:54.630
so busy. Yeah. Right. And we went to a new area

00:27:54.630 --> 00:27:57.809
and like, it was so difficult to find a church

00:27:57.809 --> 00:27:59.710
and like, it's hard to make community when you

00:27:59.710 --> 00:28:01.390
know, you're going to leave in nine months. Yeah.

00:28:01.450 --> 00:28:05.329
You know what I mean? So, so just kind of fell

00:28:05.329 --> 00:28:08.819
out of it. Never fully like. went back to what

00:28:08.819 --> 00:28:11.000
i was doing the fire was just yeah the fire was

00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:13.599
just super small right it wasn't as big as it

00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:19.160
was so then um this past year right so fast forwarding

00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:24.180
because i can literally talk for 12 hours um

00:28:24.180 --> 00:28:30.839
fast forwarding into this year 2025 yes thank

00:28:30.839 --> 00:28:39.470
you we're in 2026 now 2025 um july July 16th,

00:28:39.470 --> 00:28:44.390
we moved here on July 18th. So July 16th, we

00:28:44.390 --> 00:28:49.569
had gotten our moving van. We had gotten our

00:28:49.569 --> 00:28:53.190
moving truck. And my father -in -law and my brother

00:28:53.190 --> 00:28:56.750
-in -law were here to help us move. And we were

00:28:56.750 --> 00:29:01.170
gearing up ready to make the trip from Jacksonville

00:29:01.170 --> 00:29:06.279
to here. And I got a phone call that... something

00:29:06.279 --> 00:29:08.400
had happened to my grandfather and they weren't

00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:14.640
sure that that he would make it um and so I I

00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:17.400
remember it like I can remember it like it was

00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:21.180
literally yesterday um I was driving to Publix

00:29:21.180 --> 00:29:23.160
my brother -in -law was in the car with me and

00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:26.059
got the phone call from my dad and I had just

00:29:26.059 --> 00:29:27.920
talked to my grandfather the night before and

00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:36.019
it was um very sudden very quick um and he was

00:29:36.019 --> 00:29:41.519
gone and that was i'll try not to cry um that

00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:48.759
was a big big big big uh i don't know why grief

00:29:48.759 --> 00:29:58.160
makes you really just see yeah dependent and

00:29:58.160 --> 00:30:00.819
see things for what they truly are i think it's

00:30:00.819 --> 00:30:04.349
so hard when When, or not hard. I think it's

00:30:04.349 --> 00:30:10.109
so easy to get caught up in. I know I get to

00:30:10.109 --> 00:30:12.710
talk to that person tomorrow. Right. And, and

00:30:12.710 --> 00:30:15.690
not. Taking it for granted. Yeah. And, and I

00:30:15.690 --> 00:30:18.630
think that's so, so in losing my grandfather

00:30:18.630 --> 00:30:21.589
and this man raised me, helped in my raising.

00:30:22.329 --> 00:30:24.509
He wasn't the only one, but he helped in my raising

00:30:24.509 --> 00:30:27.250
tremendously for 29 years of life and poured

00:30:27.250 --> 00:30:31.769
into me and my children and my marriage. And

00:30:31.769 --> 00:30:35.069
he just, everybody that he met, he poured into

00:30:35.069 --> 00:30:41.569
everybody. And so it very quickly made me realize

00:30:41.569 --> 00:30:44.970
that not only was I taking advantage of the fact

00:30:44.970 --> 00:30:50.589
that he was here, I was taking advantage of the

00:30:50.589 --> 00:30:55.109
fact that God gave me my salvation and he gave

00:30:55.109 --> 00:31:00.509
me the gift of his son. And I was taking that

00:31:00.509 --> 00:31:04.269
for granted. Almost like you don't expect to

00:31:04.269 --> 00:31:09.329
die until you meet Jesus face to face. You know

00:31:09.329 --> 00:31:11.289
what I mean? Like you're never sitting there

00:31:11.289 --> 00:31:12.809
expecting to die. You're never sitting there

00:31:12.809 --> 00:31:15.569
waiting, right? And so I think that's what it

00:31:15.569 --> 00:31:20.690
just catastrophically in my brain opened up was,

00:31:21.420 --> 00:31:26.279
You are taking your salvation for granted. Yeah.

00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.599
Tomorrow's not promised. Yeah. You're, you're

00:31:28.599 --> 00:31:31.240
taking the blood that Jesus shed for you. Talk

00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:34.200
myself. I was taking the blood that Jesus shed

00:31:34.200 --> 00:31:40.700
for me. Um, and, and not appreciating it. No.

00:31:40.740 --> 00:31:43.160
And I wasn't doing what he was calling me to

00:31:43.160 --> 00:31:46.900
do. And then, you know, shortly, shortly after.

00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:48.519
And so I went through a period of about three

00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:52.599
months of just. heartbroken grief um not three

00:31:52.599 --> 00:31:54.240
months i'm sorry it's two months almost to the

00:31:54.240 --> 00:32:00.779
day of just heartbroken grief and um about two

00:32:00.779 --> 00:32:04.500
days after the the um charlie kirk assassination

00:32:04.500 --> 00:32:07.980
i was sitting here working in my office like

00:32:07.980 --> 00:32:12.869
i do every day and i just had such Such sorrow

00:32:12.869 --> 00:32:15.490
in my heart, such grief in my heart. I think

00:32:15.490 --> 00:32:18.309
like we all, I felt that and it's just, everything

00:32:18.309 --> 00:32:20.349
was going on in the world that was just horrible.

00:32:21.190 --> 00:32:24.049
And yeah, it was bad. I felt the same way. And

00:32:24.049 --> 00:32:26.349
it was like, but it, and it was like the grief

00:32:26.349 --> 00:32:28.650
for my grandfather and the grief from, from that

00:32:28.650 --> 00:32:31.789
and the. Like piling up. Yeah. And the, the,

00:32:31.910 --> 00:32:36.170
uh, the, um, fear of raising children and, uh,

00:32:36.170 --> 00:32:38.910
and to, to be bold and courageous in their faith.

00:32:39.309 --> 00:32:42.519
And, you know, in that. Stuff like that. So I

00:32:42.519 --> 00:32:44.500
was sitting here and I just was working at my

00:32:44.500 --> 00:32:46.859
work desk and I just cried out to God. And I

00:32:46.859 --> 00:32:52.579
said, I have no clue. I have zero clue. I have

00:32:52.579 --> 00:32:58.660
zero idea of, number one, how I'm going to do

00:32:58.660 --> 00:33:02.799
this. Number two, what you want me to do. And

00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:05.660
number three, how can I be bold and courageous

00:33:05.660 --> 00:33:10.490
in my faith? Because I'm sick of thinking. That

00:33:10.490 --> 00:33:13.569
I am not meant for more. That you do not have

00:33:13.569 --> 00:33:18.970
a purpose for me. And directly after I prayed

00:33:18.970 --> 00:33:22.089
that prayer. And I'm not a cuckoo bananas person

00:33:22.089 --> 00:33:27.589
by any means. I promise. Only slightly. But right

00:33:27.589 --> 00:33:29.470
after I prayed that prayer, I looked out my window.

00:33:29.890 --> 00:33:36.390
And I had a rush of peace pass over me. Peace

00:33:36.390 --> 00:33:39.279
that surpasses all understanding. He's from the

00:33:39.279 --> 00:33:43.180
Holy Spirit. And I look out my window right behind

00:33:43.180 --> 00:33:50.200
me and I see a monarch butterfly. And I've never

00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:52.259
seen one before in my life. That's crazy. I see

00:33:52.259 --> 00:33:55.339
a monarch butterfly, which butterflies represent

00:33:55.339 --> 00:33:59.799
change. And the monarch is known as the king,

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:03.700
right? Butterfly. And to me, that was, you know,

00:34:03.740 --> 00:34:09.949
Jesus and God being the king. the change that

00:34:09.949 --> 00:34:12.269
was happening within the world, right? The turning

00:34:12.269 --> 00:34:14.429
point that was happening in the world and the

00:34:14.429 --> 00:34:19.610
shift back to Jesus that was happening. And then

00:34:19.610 --> 00:34:21.889
directly after that, and this is like just small,

00:34:22.090 --> 00:34:25.329
but directly after that, I'm not even joking.

00:34:25.389 --> 00:34:27.230
They were like succinct one after the other,

00:34:27.329 --> 00:34:30.329
the monarch butterfly, and then a hummingbird.

00:34:30.369 --> 00:34:32.690
And so the hummingbird is, you know, a representation

00:34:32.690 --> 00:34:37.130
of joy and resilience and love. hope and so at

00:34:37.130 --> 00:34:40.989
this point it just peace that surpasses all understanding

00:34:40.989 --> 00:34:48.449
washed over me and uh I very much so was I was

00:34:48.449 --> 00:34:52.690
done running I was done I mean call me the prodigal

00:34:52.690 --> 00:34:54.610
son running back into the father's arms right

00:34:54.610 --> 00:34:59.050
it was that moment for me of okay I'm done taking

00:34:59.050 --> 00:35:01.750
my salvation for granted. Use me the way that

00:35:01.750 --> 00:35:04.929
you, you need to use me and for your glory and

00:35:04.929 --> 00:35:11.050
your glory alone. And so that leads me to this.

00:35:11.329 --> 00:35:16.389
That's amazing. I love that. It's been a long

00:35:16.389 --> 00:35:20.869
time. So when did you join like the Bible study?

00:35:21.659 --> 00:35:24.360
so was that like another thing that like jesus

00:35:24.360 --> 00:35:26.760
like told you to do like led you to do or like

00:35:26.760 --> 00:35:30.780
yeah so i ended up going to uh there was a women's

00:35:30.780 --> 00:35:32.800
night which we we have another women's night

00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:35.840
coming up that i am actually working on uh it's

00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:39.780
the 30th of january oh okay yep it's a women's

00:35:39.780 --> 00:35:43.619
night um at the church and basically what we

00:35:43.619 --> 00:35:47.679
do there is um there's a group of signups or

00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:50.900
a small group signups and they'll have tables

00:35:50.900 --> 00:35:53.199
set up so you can see like read about different

00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:56.500
small groups and so the the small group of course

00:35:56.500 --> 00:35:57.880
that we met in was the one called daughter of

00:35:57.880 --> 00:36:02.960
the king and it very much spoke to me because

00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:06.840
I had always always always struggled with well

00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:10.300
i'm not worthy god can't use me i'm i'm nasty

00:36:10.300 --> 00:36:13.280
i'm you know i did all these terrible things

00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:15.719
like he doesn't want to use me i'm i'm filthy

00:36:15.719 --> 00:36:18.579
i'm quite literally unclean and that was who

00:36:18.579 --> 00:36:20.820
couldn't have been further from the truth right

00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:25.219
so um ultimately god placed it on my heart while

00:36:25.219 --> 00:36:28.329
i was reading that that that was absolutely a

00:36:28.329 --> 00:36:30.349
group that I needed to be in and it just so happened

00:36:30.349 --> 00:36:33.329
that Gina was leading that one and um she was

00:36:33.329 --> 00:36:35.829
also leading the one that Drake and I were doing

00:36:35.829 --> 00:36:38.630
together for the the um first eight chapters

00:36:38.630 --> 00:36:44.210
of Romans okay and and so I just knew that Gina

00:36:44.210 --> 00:36:46.630
I don't know it's just a thing like I just looked

00:36:46.630 --> 00:36:50.269
at her and God was like yes yeah and um so I

00:36:50.269 --> 00:36:54.059
I joined them both And Gina had to deal with

00:36:54.059 --> 00:36:56.340
me and my husband and my kids for two nights

00:36:56.340 --> 00:36:59.719
in a row every week and bless her heart. But

00:36:59.719 --> 00:37:03.739
she sure did it. And it was an amazing group.

00:37:03.820 --> 00:37:05.840
It still is an amazing group. I love every single

00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:09.559
lady that's in there. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome.

00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:14.179
Yeah. Amazing. So Miss Maddie from Pittsburgh,

00:37:14.519 --> 00:37:17.360
Pennsylvania. Where is it? Where is it? Yeah,

00:37:17.420 --> 00:37:21.039
Pittsburgh. Yes. Not Philly. I will confuse them.

00:37:21.239 --> 00:37:25.679
Yins. I say y 'all, she says yins. Yinsers. So,

00:37:25.820 --> 00:37:28.440
tell me about you. I want to know about you.

00:37:28.579 --> 00:37:31.219
I want to know about myself. So, obviously, I'm

00:37:31.219 --> 00:37:33.659
from Pittsburgh. Well, not actually Pittsburgh.

00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:35.239
It was like outside Pittsburgh, but I just say

00:37:35.239 --> 00:37:37.880
Pittsburgh because no one knows where Manor,

00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:39.619
Pennsylvania is. That's like me saying I'm from

00:37:39.619 --> 00:37:41.599
Birmingham, but it's really Chelsea, and it's

00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:43.519
like... Like, what is that? Exactly. Everybody

00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:45.300
knows Birmingham. Nobody knows Chelsea. Yeah,

00:37:45.340 --> 00:37:49.599
yeah, yeah. um so anyways um i grew up going

00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.239
to church um as a little kid i was raised by

00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:55.440
my great aunts so um they're sisters they're

00:37:55.440 --> 00:38:01.380
my mom's aunts but um my um mom she passed away

00:38:01.380 --> 00:38:05.860
whenever i wasn't even one so um i was raised

00:38:05.860 --> 00:38:09.099
by my great aunts and my dad he lived in florida

00:38:09.099 --> 00:38:13.940
my whole life um in west palm beach and um so

00:38:13.940 --> 00:38:17.960
um Me and my brother would go – I'm not an only

00:38:17.960 --> 00:38:19.840
child. I have a brother, by the way. Oh, I have

00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:21.360
lots of siblings. I just didn't include them

00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:25.260
in anything. I have a brother. His name is Gio.

00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:30.300
Gio. Love him, by the way. But anyways, so we

00:38:30.300 --> 00:38:33.960
would go to West Palm Beach and Naples for the

00:38:33.960 --> 00:38:36.320
summers growing up to visit my mom's side of

00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:38.159
the family. So I have a lot of cousins and uncles

00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:40.820
and aunts here. I would visit them in Naples,

00:38:40.840 --> 00:38:43.179
and then I would go to West Palm Beach for –

00:38:43.960 --> 00:38:46.159
Like one month in Naples, one month in West Palm

00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:47.900
Beach with my dad. So you basically, you would

00:38:47.900 --> 00:38:50.760
get super tan every summer. Kind of. I would

00:38:50.760 --> 00:38:52.440
come back with a bunch of mosquito bites and

00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:54.500
I still have so many mosquito bites. I'm scared

00:38:54.500 --> 00:38:56.860
to wear shorts. I get made fun of. Okay. So anyways,

00:38:57.059 --> 00:39:00.960
I would go there, visit my dad and come to Naples.

00:39:00.980 --> 00:39:03.519
And I was raised in Pennsylvania. I went to church

00:39:03.519 --> 00:39:08.159
with my great aunts every week. And as I got

00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:11.559
older, I just like stopped going. Like I was

00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:14.690
just like. you know i just like grew out of it

00:39:14.690 --> 00:39:16.570
i was just i was going because you know like

00:39:16.570 --> 00:39:19.010
you're a kid and you go like it was routine that's

00:39:19.010 --> 00:39:21.690
not i was made but like that's like who they

00:39:21.690 --> 00:39:23.590
just took me to church right i wasn't learning

00:39:23.590 --> 00:39:25.449
anything i was just sitting there writing notes

00:39:25.449 --> 00:39:27.949
on the back of the like little thing and just

00:39:27.949 --> 00:39:30.289
drawing pictures as a kid so i didn't learn anything

00:39:30.289 --> 00:39:34.329
i did sunday school and stuff and um my aunts

00:39:34.329 --> 00:39:37.090
they would you know like pray before meals we

00:39:37.090 --> 00:39:40.739
would do that um like here and there um she would

00:39:40.739 --> 00:39:43.099
always you know talk to me about jesus and angels

00:39:43.099 --> 00:39:46.179
and stuff like that um but i was never like this

00:39:46.179 --> 00:39:48.059
is my full life you know like i was just a kid

00:39:48.059 --> 00:39:51.579
and so i grew up i was like prioritizing other

00:39:51.579 --> 00:39:54.119
things like i was like morning time is my gym

00:39:54.119 --> 00:39:57.360
time yeah i i'm going to gym i'm going to the

00:39:57.360 --> 00:39:58.840
gym in the mornings like i was so obsessed with

00:39:58.840 --> 00:40:02.219
the gym and stuff like in high school um So I

00:40:02.219 --> 00:40:04.719
kind of just stopped going to church and I just

00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:06.219
thought it was really boring and I didn't learn

00:40:06.219 --> 00:40:08.260
anything from church. Like when I was there,

00:40:08.380 --> 00:40:10.920
I wasn't listening. Like I said, I was just kind

00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:16.619
of going cause I had to. And I just like had

00:40:16.619 --> 00:40:20.639
really no idea about like, like having a relationship

00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:23.280
with Jesus. Like I had no idea that was a thing.

00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:25.099
Yeah. And like what that actually looked like

00:40:25.099 --> 00:40:28.840
on a day to day. Yeah. I didn't know. and so

00:40:28.840 --> 00:40:31.239
i went to like one bible study in my life of

00:40:31.239 --> 00:40:33.920
like a high school student and again like it

00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:35.500
was just like i kind of went because my friend

00:40:35.500 --> 00:40:37.659
went it wasn't like i didn't take anything away

00:40:37.659 --> 00:40:43.820
from that yeah yeah um so also to my dad um he

00:40:43.820 --> 00:40:47.559
passed away like maybe four uh four or five years

00:40:47.559 --> 00:40:51.219
ago i don't know so both of my parents gone from

00:40:51.219 --> 00:40:56.039
drugs um i was born addicted so i have always

00:40:56.039 --> 00:40:59.219
been I think it could go one of two ways. It

00:40:59.219 --> 00:41:01.940
could be like you, you kind of get that from

00:41:01.940 --> 00:41:04.519
your parents and you do drugs or like in my case,

00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:06.559
I like see what, what happened. And I'm like,

00:41:06.579 --> 00:41:09.920
I will say as far as possible, like from that.

00:41:10.019 --> 00:41:14.039
Yeah. So growing up, never did drugs. I think

00:41:14.039 --> 00:41:16.199
I got drunk once in my life. I don't like alcohol.

00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:19.099
I don't even drink alcohol. even just like to

00:41:19.099 --> 00:41:21.619
have a drink i'm just like like i will like maybe

00:41:21.619 --> 00:41:23.579
but like it's not like my main like this is what

00:41:23.579 --> 00:41:26.559
i want to do you know which is so good so good

00:41:26.559 --> 00:41:28.980
so good so good for you to to have that that

00:41:28.980 --> 00:41:30.840
willpower and that tenacity yeah because that

00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:33.659
is such a slippery slope exactly um but like

00:41:33.659 --> 00:41:35.679
i said i think it just comes down to like i see

00:41:35.679 --> 00:41:37.699
what it does like see what it did to you know

00:41:37.699 --> 00:41:41.079
my parents you know but yeah it's it's kind of

00:41:41.079 --> 00:41:44.389
like weird because i um obviously like it's a

00:41:44.389 --> 00:41:47.750
super sad thing and um it's very unfortunate

00:41:47.750 --> 00:41:50.409
that that happened but I never had like a close

00:41:50.409 --> 00:41:52.530
relationship with my dad when he was alive because

00:41:52.530 --> 00:41:54.949
he lived in Florida and I was living in Pennsylvania

00:41:54.949 --> 00:41:57.610
yeah and when my mom I don't even remember her

00:41:57.610 --> 00:42:02.170
I don't even know who she is so um not that like

00:42:02.170 --> 00:42:04.969
I was like heartbroken you know like it wasn't

00:42:04.969 --> 00:42:07.670
I was like daughter father type thing like I

00:42:08.010 --> 00:42:10.429
I didn't really, I was upset obviously, but I

00:42:10.429 --> 00:42:12.110
never even saw, he would not even tell me happy

00:42:12.110 --> 00:42:14.730
birthday growing up or, or like Merry Christmas,

00:42:14.769 --> 00:42:17.590
nothing like maybe a couple of times, but like,

00:42:17.610 --> 00:42:19.510
it was just like, I saw him in the summers. That

00:42:19.510 --> 00:42:23.349
was it. Yeah. Which is like sad. Um, but that's

00:42:23.349 --> 00:42:25.510
kind of like my background of growing up and

00:42:25.510 --> 00:42:30.489
stuff. Um, but anyways, so, um, again, I didn't

00:42:30.489 --> 00:42:33.730
know anything about Jesus and I was always like

00:42:33.730 --> 00:42:36.349
a morally like good kid again, didn't do drugs,

00:42:36.369 --> 00:42:39.539
didn't do alcohol. And don't plan on doing any

00:42:39.539 --> 00:42:42.860
of that in the near future. I'll help you stay

00:42:42.860 --> 00:42:47.480
away from it. I'll hold you accountable. I was

00:42:47.480 --> 00:42:51.380
like super into the gym. And I moved here three

00:42:51.380 --> 00:42:53.559
years ago from Pennsylvania after I graduated

00:42:53.559 --> 00:42:57.460
high school. And my goal was to become a fitness

00:42:57.460 --> 00:42:59.900
influencer. Yeah, girl. I wanted to do that so

00:42:59.900 --> 00:43:02.280
bad. I wanted to bodybuild. I was so into fitness.

00:43:02.400 --> 00:43:04.559
I still am into fitness. I love fitness. I know

00:43:04.559 --> 00:43:10.769
your gorge. thanks queen so anyways i moved here

00:43:10.769 --> 00:43:13.289
and i had just gotten out of like a high school

00:43:13.289 --> 00:43:15.170
relationship for two years like it's like a long

00:43:15.170 --> 00:43:16.989
high school relationship right oh yeah girl i

00:43:16.989 --> 00:43:19.170
know my high school girl my high school relationship

00:43:19.170 --> 00:43:21.750
was like three and a half years on and off i

00:43:21.750 --> 00:43:24.789
i got you exactly so like we were i thought i

00:43:24.789 --> 00:43:26.889
was gonna marry that boy exactly we're like we

00:43:26.889 --> 00:43:29.570
are so in love we're gonna marry praise jesus

00:43:29.570 --> 00:43:32.789
for the man i ended up marrying So yeah, it was

00:43:32.789 --> 00:43:34.389
like two years long. It was pretty long. And

00:43:34.389 --> 00:43:35.849
like it was serious for a high school relationship.

00:43:36.090 --> 00:43:38.250
Like we were like obsessed with each other. And

00:43:38.250 --> 00:43:39.590
then I just, like, kind of, like, grew out of

00:43:39.590 --> 00:43:42.190
love with him. I was just, like, moving to a

00:43:42.190 --> 00:43:44.809
different state. I ended up breaking up with

00:43:44.809 --> 00:43:46.889
him and stuff. And I moved here. And I'm, like,

00:43:46.889 --> 00:43:48.570
I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to get

00:43:48.570 --> 00:43:51.530
my career started. I was in school for exercise

00:43:51.530 --> 00:43:54.349
science. Doing online school. Just, like, being

00:43:54.349 --> 00:43:56.949
so productive. We were boss babing it. I was

00:43:56.949 --> 00:43:58.849
boss. I was such a boss girl. Boss babing it.

00:43:58.969 --> 00:44:01.730
Boss lady to the. Girl, I had 12K in the bank

00:44:01.730 --> 00:44:04.809
saved up at 18. I was, like, let's go. Literally,

00:44:05.170 --> 00:44:07.840
girl. i don't know where did that come from i

00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:10.159
don't know honey at 18 i was taking my last like

00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:11.860
20 bucks out of the savings account to go buy

00:44:11.860 --> 00:44:17.579
formula at the cbs okay we had different 18 year

00:44:17.579 --> 00:44:21.739
old okay so no i was like doing so well i'm like

00:44:21.739 --> 00:44:24.679
i'm so independent you know i'm about to um become

00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:26.679
a personal trainer like do all these things in

00:44:26.679 --> 00:44:28.519
naples and stuff like that and i was like so

00:44:28.519 --> 00:44:31.800
ready to start my life and so i ended up meeting

00:44:31.800 --> 00:44:37.340
this guy and um He became my boyfriend and we

00:44:37.340 --> 00:44:39.179
were with each other for two and a half years.

00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:44.539
We just recently broke up in October, I believe.

00:44:45.059 --> 00:44:50.880
And so basically, again, at this time, I still

00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:53.369
don't. have a relationship with jesus i we go

00:44:53.369 --> 00:44:56.230
to church maybe like we try to go to church because

00:44:56.230 --> 00:44:58.989
like we just wanted to you know but we didn't

00:44:58.989 --> 00:45:01.070
know why we were like we should go to church

00:45:01.070 --> 00:45:04.469
you know um but again i never i never wanted

00:45:04.469 --> 00:45:06.570
to go out i never went out i was just focused

00:45:06.570 --> 00:45:10.170
on my gym stuff doing that stuff and anyways

00:45:10.170 --> 00:45:13.530
again didn't know jesus and looking back at the

00:45:13.530 --> 00:45:16.349
relationship that i had with him um i was literally

00:45:16.349 --> 00:45:23.809
being a wife to my boyfriend i was doing all

00:45:23.809 --> 00:45:25.849
of the wrong things and i didn't know anything

00:45:25.849 --> 00:45:28.150
i didn't know that that was the wrong thing i

00:45:28.150 --> 00:45:30.829
was like oh like this is what love is like we

00:45:30.829 --> 00:45:33.489
lived together for two and a half years we moved

00:45:33.489 --> 00:45:36.250
in together like he was my everything i was literally

00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:38.949
worshiping him like he was like a god i was obsessed

00:45:38.949 --> 00:45:42.849
with this man i was conforming to him like before

00:45:42.849 --> 00:45:45.389
i was such a goody goody i started like cursing

00:45:45.389 --> 00:45:48.510
i started like being getting so judgmental he

00:45:48.510 --> 00:45:51.739
was like very like like judgy i guess you could

00:45:51.739 --> 00:45:54.639
say like i would just talk about people and i

00:45:54.639 --> 00:45:56.199
was like in love with this man like i knew he

00:45:56.199 --> 00:45:58.780
had a good heart but i always felt like something

00:45:58.780 --> 00:46:01.539
was off like i don't know you were conforming

00:46:01.539 --> 00:46:04.239
to the pattern of the world exactly so worldly

00:46:04.239 --> 00:46:08.269
girl so worldly it was and i knew it and I lost

00:46:08.269 --> 00:46:12.909
myself so bad, girl, so bad. Like it was like

00:46:12.909 --> 00:46:16.909
I was distancing myself from my family. I stopped

00:46:16.909 --> 00:46:20.329
going to family events in Naples. I stopped really

00:46:20.329 --> 00:46:22.150
reaching out to my Pennsylvania friends. And

00:46:22.150 --> 00:46:25.030
like, you know, I didn't have friends. Well,

00:46:25.030 --> 00:46:28.369
your world at the time revolved around him and

00:46:28.369 --> 00:46:30.369
your relationship. Exactly. And that was all

00:46:30.369 --> 00:46:32.730
that mattered. The only person I hung out with

00:46:32.730 --> 00:46:36.170
was him. His friends were my only friends. because

00:46:36.170 --> 00:46:40.010
that's all I knew. And he was the person I knew

00:46:40.010 --> 00:46:42.469
ever since I moved here. And I was not myself.

00:46:42.590 --> 00:46:45.429
I didn't go out and try to make friends. I didn't

00:46:45.429 --> 00:46:47.769
have friends. It was just literally him. I had

00:46:47.769 --> 00:46:49.889
some friends, but it was just like, they weren't

00:46:49.889 --> 00:46:51.610
like true, true friends. But you would, and you

00:46:51.610 --> 00:46:53.590
would have rather spent your time with him. Exactly.

00:46:53.610 --> 00:46:56.750
Yes, exactly. So it was this whole like thing

00:46:56.750 --> 00:46:58.610
that I didn't even realize at the time. You don't

00:46:58.610 --> 00:47:02.389
realize it in the moment. No, no, no. So like

00:47:02.389 --> 00:47:05.980
you said, I had to hit rock bottom. when i say

00:47:05.980 --> 00:47:08.800
rock bottom girl i'm telling you right now rock

00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:13.579
bottom i had zero dollars in the bank 12k went

00:47:13.579 --> 00:47:17.159
to who knows where who knows where no money left

00:47:17.159 --> 00:47:19.800
were you still in college were you still doing

00:47:19.800 --> 00:47:22.000
online school i did pay some but that was like

00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:24.219
maybe like 2k out of pocket well yeah but like

00:47:24.219 --> 00:47:25.880
at the time when you were in this relationship

00:47:25.880 --> 00:47:27.840
and the relationship was ending like were you

00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:31.820
still in college were you still no um no i was

00:47:31.820 --> 00:47:33.619
kind of like i don't want to do this i don't

00:47:33.619 --> 00:47:36.380
want to do exercise science anymore because i

00:47:36.380 --> 00:47:41.480
had gained 60 pounds girl but not a chance i

00:47:41.480 --> 00:47:43.340
had gained so much weight in the relationship

00:47:43.340 --> 00:47:46.659
again losing myself rock bottom i wasn't like

00:47:46.659 --> 00:47:48.400
60 pounds up at that point like i lost weight

00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:51.539
and stuff but i was like so far from who i was

00:47:51.539 --> 00:47:54.179
yeah um well you lost sight of who you were as

00:47:54.179 --> 00:47:59.320
a person without him exactly and like small caveat

00:48:00.650 --> 00:48:05.369
even in a marriage to become one flesh and everything

00:48:05.369 --> 00:48:10.349
you do together is is is as a team however you

00:48:10.349 --> 00:48:12.670
still have your stuff like you still have your

00:48:12.670 --> 00:48:15.349
your roles and your yeah your purpose and and

00:48:15.349 --> 00:48:18.889
and y 'all's combined y 'all's marriage purpose

00:48:18.889 --> 00:48:20.550
right whenever you get married y 'all's marriage

00:48:20.550 --> 00:48:23.510
purpose might be Whatever God calls it to be.

00:48:23.570 --> 00:48:25.630
To raise a family together. To do these. But

00:48:25.630 --> 00:48:27.630
you still have your purpose. Your own purpose.

00:48:27.809 --> 00:48:32.969
And your thing in God's plan. Drake still has

00:48:32.969 --> 00:48:35.929
his. I could never play the drums. Could never

00:48:35.929 --> 00:48:38.780
in my life. And I'm like. maybe i could carry

00:48:38.780 --> 00:48:41.780
a tune but like not mine no so i was just saying

00:48:41.780 --> 00:48:44.179
like i hit rock bottom like no money like yeah

00:48:44.179 --> 00:48:46.820
my body goals were like out of the window like

00:48:46.820 --> 00:48:49.000
i was like my dream body when i first came here

00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:52.559
worshiping him and just it was i was in this

00:48:52.559 --> 00:48:55.519
funk of just like depression and just like being

00:48:55.519 --> 00:48:58.579
so confused of why like i'm in this great relationship

00:48:58.579 --> 00:49:02.780
but nothing is like inside like yes like something's

00:49:02.780 --> 00:49:06.440
off yeah right yeah um And I felt that for like

00:49:06.440 --> 00:49:08.079
two and a half years. You were missing something.

00:49:08.199 --> 00:49:12.659
I really was. Right. So this these past like

00:49:12.659 --> 00:49:14.639
three months have literally been life changing.

00:49:14.780 --> 00:49:17.820
And my life has done a complete 360. Like when

00:49:17.820 --> 00:49:21.079
I tell you like it's been insane how much my

00:49:21.079 --> 00:49:24.420
life has changed. But basically back in October,

00:49:24.599 --> 00:49:29.500
the breakup was very bad. It was very messy.

00:49:29.780 --> 00:49:35.699
And it just was like. it just showed me like,

00:49:35.780 --> 00:49:39.079
that is not who I thought you were. And, and

00:49:39.079 --> 00:49:41.780
I'm not claiming to be perfect. Like I was not

00:49:41.780 --> 00:49:44.320
in the right mindset or headspace either too.

00:49:44.440 --> 00:49:47.039
Like I didn't, I probably could have dealt with

00:49:47.039 --> 00:49:49.559
it like better and stuff, but it was just like,

00:49:49.619 --> 00:49:53.559
I got, I felt the one person that I thought was

00:49:53.559 --> 00:49:56.019
going to be with me the rest of my life gone.

00:49:56.260 --> 00:49:58.599
Yeah. Like literally we're done. We're done.

00:49:58.760 --> 00:50:01.699
Right. And so I tried so hard to hold onto it.

00:50:01.760 --> 00:50:05.340
Like I was, I was like, i broke up with him and

00:50:05.340 --> 00:50:08.699
then i um like a week later was like let's just

00:50:08.699 --> 00:50:10.960
try to work it out and i tried so long to hold

00:50:10.960 --> 00:50:14.480
on to it we i we both knew i knew inside and

00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:17.280
that it wasn't working out so within that time

00:50:17.280 --> 00:50:21.320
of me breaking up with him so after i broke up

00:50:21.320 --> 00:50:24.099
with him i was like just saying to myself like

00:50:24.099 --> 00:50:27.019
i want to focus on my relationship with god and

00:50:27.019 --> 00:50:29.679
i like had no idea what that looked like i didn't

00:50:29.679 --> 00:50:31.760
know what that meant i just would like be like

00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:33.699
okay like i went to target and i bought this

00:50:33.699 --> 00:50:37.260
thing that was like um read the bible one year

00:50:37.260 --> 00:50:42.099
oh like the 365 day bible yes it's like 52 weeks

00:50:42.099 --> 00:50:45.429
in a year 52 yeah read this like like listen

00:50:45.429 --> 00:50:48.070
you gotta start somewhere honey you gotta start

00:50:48.070 --> 00:50:50.989
somewhere jesus listen that's the thing god meets

00:50:50.989 --> 00:50:54.489
you where you are meets you where you are so

00:50:54.489 --> 00:50:58.730
i bought that and um i did it for a little bit

00:50:58.730 --> 00:51:00.449
like i read it i didn't even understand what

00:51:00.449 --> 00:51:02.010
i was reading i was starting with like genesis

00:51:02.010 --> 00:51:08.389
like as everybody does in the beginning exactly

00:51:08.389 --> 00:51:12.150
um but i think that the real turning point was

00:51:12.150 --> 00:51:16.360
um So, you know, Dana, she's amazing. She's like

00:51:16.360 --> 00:51:19.119
such like a big like part of my testimony, I

00:51:19.119 --> 00:51:22.840
feel like, because she had reached out to me.

00:51:22.880 --> 00:51:24.599
So originally I met her. She's my client, my

00:51:24.599 --> 00:51:27.300
dog sitting client. I also dog sit. I run a business.

00:51:27.960 --> 00:51:31.260
I'm a dog trainer and dog sitter. Hit me up for

00:51:31.260 --> 00:51:38.099
all your dog sitting needs. So I met her because

00:51:38.099 --> 00:51:41.829
she has three dogs. I just remember like talking

00:51:41.829 --> 00:51:45.670
to her and just like, I don't know, something

00:51:45.670 --> 00:51:47.750
about her was different. She's such a nice lady.

00:51:47.849 --> 00:51:49.849
I'm like, I was like thinking about her after

00:51:49.849 --> 00:51:52.150
the meet and greet. I'm like, I just love meeting

00:51:52.150 --> 00:51:55.349
nice people. Like, what the heck? So sweet. So

00:51:55.349 --> 00:51:57.769
I don't know. Something about her was just different.

00:51:57.969 --> 00:52:00.809
And I remember when we first met, we kind of

00:52:00.809 --> 00:52:03.030
talked about church and I had gone to church

00:52:03.030 --> 00:52:07.159
with my ex a couple of times. and we were talking

00:52:07.159 --> 00:52:09.539
about church and she was like saying how she

00:52:09.539 --> 00:52:13.360
goes to hope city and um i think she said that

00:52:13.360 --> 00:52:14.840
or she was going to a different church at the

00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:16.260
time i don't know but we were just talking about

00:52:16.260 --> 00:52:18.619
church right so i knew that she had gone to church

00:52:18.619 --> 00:52:22.280
basically is my premises um so once me and him

00:52:22.280 --> 00:52:29.619
broke up um i had so sorry okay Dana had reached

00:52:29.619 --> 00:52:31.960
out to me because she was like hey Maddie I'm

00:52:31.960 --> 00:52:34.480
going somewhere for like a month I think it was

00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:37.119
like Minnesota and she was like can you watch

00:52:37.119 --> 00:52:41.159
my dogs for that long and I was like I can't

00:52:41.159 --> 00:52:43.039
really do that anymore because I was doing a

00:52:43.039 --> 00:52:46.179
lot of overnights in my clients homes and my

00:52:46.179 --> 00:52:48.789
ex at the time would watch my dogs so i had no

00:52:48.789 --> 00:52:50.769
one to watch my dogs yeah so i was like i can

00:52:50.769 --> 00:52:52.510
but i'm gonna have to do a lot of back and forth

00:52:52.510 --> 00:52:55.670
yeah and i have also have like a overnight in

00:52:55.670 --> 00:52:58.469
between like those days so i would have to like

00:52:58.469 --> 00:53:00.190
not be with your dogs for like those amount of

00:53:00.190 --> 00:53:02.750
days right yeah and so i had mentioned that we

00:53:02.750 --> 00:53:05.389
had broken up and i remember talking to her about

00:53:05.389 --> 00:53:09.599
him because um when we first met like I had a

00:53:09.599 --> 00:53:11.139
promise from him and everything. Like I had all

00:53:11.139 --> 00:53:13.780
this, like my background, like everything was

00:53:13.780 --> 00:53:17.599
him, like I said. And so I told her about him

00:53:17.599 --> 00:53:19.539
and like, oh yeah, we're doing so good. He's

00:53:19.539 --> 00:53:21.699
amazing, you know, and stuff like that. And then

00:53:21.699 --> 00:53:23.820
I had said that we broke up in the text and she's

00:53:23.820 --> 00:53:25.219
like, oh my gosh, like I'm so, so sorry, right?

00:53:25.849 --> 00:53:28.510
like saying, that's so sad. And we got to talking

00:53:28.510 --> 00:53:31.929
because I had asked her, I was like, at that

00:53:31.929 --> 00:53:34.469
point, again, I had no one, like I just asked

00:53:34.469 --> 00:53:36.349
everything. Well, and you, you moved down here

00:53:36.349 --> 00:53:38.349
three years ago and then very quickly got into

00:53:38.349 --> 00:53:41.909
a relationship with somebody that like, that's

00:53:41.909 --> 00:53:45.610
who you became like rock solid with 24 seven.

00:53:45.650 --> 00:53:48.610
Right. So it's like, exactly. Who do you have?

00:53:48.710 --> 00:53:51.789
Right. Who can you reach out to? And, and you

00:53:51.789 --> 00:53:54.679
know, you don't. you don't have anybody yeah

00:53:54.679 --> 00:53:57.099
and i was like this lady's so nice like i feel

00:53:57.099 --> 00:53:58.659
like i could like bring this up even though she's

00:53:58.659 --> 00:54:01.119
my client like yeah i was like oh should i like

00:54:01.119 --> 00:54:02.860
i don't know like maybe this is like crossing

00:54:02.860 --> 00:54:04.940
a line like this is like a business thing you

00:54:04.940 --> 00:54:06.619
know what i mean yeah but i was like no she seems

00:54:06.619 --> 00:54:09.280
really sweet like i think she would be cool so

00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:12.440
i was like i ended up texting her back and i

00:54:12.440 --> 00:54:15.179
was like do you have any like advice like for

00:54:15.179 --> 00:54:17.900
me like to go through this and stuff? Yeah. And

00:54:17.900 --> 00:54:21.199
she like sent like all these voice notes. We

00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:23.559
love a voice note queen. I love a Dana voice

00:54:23.559 --> 00:54:27.380
note. We love them. With the second she sent

00:54:27.380 --> 00:54:29.860
the voice note, I'm like, oh, I'm done. She's

00:54:29.860 --> 00:54:33.480
like my mom. Amazing. Amazing. So it's like that.

00:54:33.519 --> 00:54:38.690
What's that meme? It's like. it's like glorious

00:54:38.690 --> 00:54:42.070
give me 12 of them right now what is it you know

00:54:42.070 --> 00:54:43.929
what i'm talking about it's not that but it's

00:54:43.929 --> 00:54:46.710
like um something fabulous give me 12 yeah i

00:54:46.710 --> 00:54:50.010
don't know either way literally that um so she

00:54:50.010 --> 00:54:54.630
just like started talking and then um she invited

00:54:54.630 --> 00:54:57.590
me to come to the bible study yes and stuff like

00:54:57.590 --> 00:54:59.869
that and i feel like i'm kind of going everywhere

00:54:59.869 --> 00:55:04.500
with the time zone or the time frame yeah But

00:55:04.500 --> 00:55:06.099
anyway, she invited me to the Bible study. She

00:55:06.099 --> 00:55:08.260
invited me to go to church with her and stuff

00:55:08.260 --> 00:55:12.659
like that. So at this point, I was still thinking

00:55:12.659 --> 00:55:15.300
that like knowing Jesus was like reading the

00:55:15.300 --> 00:55:17.079
Bible and that's it. Like I didn't know. Doing

00:55:17.079 --> 00:55:19.000
things for him. Yeah. I didn't know anything.

00:55:19.079 --> 00:55:21.420
Yes. I just was just like confused and looking,

00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:25.059
you know. Yeah. And so anyways, I went to church

00:55:25.059 --> 00:55:28.309
for the first time. with dana and i had gone

00:55:28.309 --> 00:55:30.889
to church before that by myself i was trying

00:55:30.889 --> 00:55:33.690
to find a church that i liked yeah and at that

00:55:33.690 --> 00:55:36.730
point i started to pray i started to actually

00:55:36.730 --> 00:55:40.849
have a relationship with god and um just everything

00:55:40.849 --> 00:55:44.070
that i prayed about was just like coming to life

00:55:44.070 --> 00:55:46.570
so fast and like god was working in my life so

00:55:46.570 --> 00:55:52.289
insanely fast it was insane um and so after the

00:55:52.289 --> 00:55:55.590
first church sermon that i went to the sermon

00:55:55.590 --> 00:56:00.809
was about always always the sermon was eric's

00:56:00.809 --> 00:56:04.329
whole topic of a godly family and it was talking

00:56:04.329 --> 00:56:07.449
about a godly man in the marriage listen literally

00:56:07.449 --> 00:56:12.960
nothing from nothing like who i was yes and i'm

00:56:12.960 --> 00:56:16.400
like oh my gosh thank you lord for like taking

00:56:16.400 --> 00:56:17.960
this is my first sermon and this is what i'm

00:56:17.960 --> 00:56:20.480
hearing and i'm just like wow like this i remember

00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:25.039
that shout out eric literally love him guess

00:56:25.039 --> 00:56:27.179
what too i have a side note about him but keep

00:56:27.179 --> 00:56:30.059
going well me too so when i first went the first

00:56:30.059 --> 00:56:32.920
day i was grabbing coffee first time ever i was

00:56:32.920 --> 00:56:36.039
by myself waiting for dana to come and um I met

00:56:36.039 --> 00:56:40.000
Eric and I was watching the online sermons before

00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:43.079
I came and stuff. We did that too. Yeah. Just

00:56:43.079 --> 00:56:45.460
to see like what it's about, you know? And so

00:56:45.460 --> 00:56:48.159
I saw him and stuff and he came up to me and

00:56:48.159 --> 00:56:50.920
he asked if I was new and he gave me a hug. And

00:56:50.920 --> 00:56:53.019
I was like. oh I went to shake his hand he gave

00:56:53.019 --> 00:56:56.699
me a hug I was like that was so sweet he is um

00:56:56.699 --> 00:57:01.059
genuinely just a amazing yeah yeah yeah stand

00:57:01.059 --> 00:57:04.320
up godly human and I remember sending that sermon

00:57:04.320 --> 00:57:08.699
to my ex on text that day no acknowledge of it

00:57:08.699 --> 00:57:10.780
at all like I don't even think he watched it

00:57:10.780 --> 00:57:14.159
and I'm just like I mean that's okay god will

00:57:14.159 --> 00:57:16.320
meet him where he is i knew it was not it was

00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:18.420
not gonna work at that time i don't know if we

00:57:18.420 --> 00:57:20.340
were trying to work it out or if he had like

00:57:20.340 --> 00:57:22.320
ended things but i was like praying that he could

00:57:22.320 --> 00:57:25.179
end things and he did like he was like basically

00:57:25.179 --> 00:57:29.440
the last text was like i am um let's take a break

00:57:29.440 --> 00:57:31.860
for two weeks and see where right we just both

00:57:31.860 --> 00:57:34.440
knew that yeah it's not it's not gonna work like

00:57:34.440 --> 00:57:40.679
we just both knew yeah so um It was messy. Yeah.

00:57:40.739 --> 00:57:44.639
It was messy, girl. So anyways, after the whole

00:57:44.639 --> 00:57:47.519
going to Hope City, I absolutely loved Hope City.

00:57:47.659 --> 00:57:50.860
Like, it literally changed my life. was in the

00:57:50.860 --> 00:57:52.920
same situation as you as where i didn't have

00:57:52.920 --> 00:57:55.480
any christian community at all my friend from

00:57:55.480 --> 00:57:58.099
pennsylvania actually she is a big christian

00:57:58.099 --> 00:58:01.059
loves jesus and um i was able to talk to her

00:58:01.059 --> 00:58:03.500
a lot she helped me shout out carly i love you

00:58:03.500 --> 00:58:07.219
so much um but she we would facetime so much

00:58:07.219 --> 00:58:09.199
i started talking to my friends back home more

00:58:09.199 --> 00:58:11.400
i started talking to my family more yeah being

00:58:11.400 --> 00:58:14.880
like i remember who i am again you know But I'm

00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:17.579
like, I really want Christian community because

00:58:17.579 --> 00:58:20.360
I have no one and stuff. And if you don't have

00:58:20.360 --> 00:58:22.239
Christian community, you will just fall back

00:58:22.239 --> 00:58:24.260
into. It's hard. It's so hard. Exactly. Exactly.

00:58:24.739 --> 00:58:28.260
So I literally, I remember praying to the Lord

00:58:28.260 --> 00:58:31.619
for Christian community. And I remember one day

00:58:31.619 --> 00:58:36.019
as well, I was saying how. I hope that he can

00:58:36.019 --> 00:58:38.219
bring anyone into my life, like back into my

00:58:38.219 --> 00:58:40.940
life who who may need to be in here. And I was

00:58:40.940 --> 00:58:42.780
thinking about my old friend, Lloyda. I remember

00:58:42.780 --> 00:58:44.639
her telling me about how she was a Christian.

00:58:45.440 --> 00:58:47.260
So I was kind of thinking about her, but like

00:58:47.260 --> 00:58:48.880
not really like it was just kind of like, you

00:58:48.880 --> 00:58:50.860
know, prayer and stuff. And I wasn't thinking

00:58:50.860 --> 00:58:54.920
anything of it. But anyways. He answered so quick.

00:58:55.139 --> 00:58:57.710
I went to the Bible study. found amazing group

00:58:57.710 --> 00:59:00.389
even though like i'm the youngest in the group

00:59:00.389 --> 00:59:03.230
but that's okay everyone is just so awesome for

00:59:03.230 --> 00:59:05.369
just me just listening to their stories and stuff

00:59:05.369 --> 00:59:07.150
but just like sitting i don't even i didn't have

00:59:07.150 --> 00:59:09.409
to say anything just being there and listening

00:59:09.409 --> 00:59:11.769
to everything all of my prayers were being answered

00:59:11.769 --> 00:59:13.530
i was finding christian community i found you

00:59:13.530 --> 00:59:16.369
guys i found um a christian community that was

00:59:16.369 --> 00:59:20.710
in fort um myers i went there for once it was

00:59:20.710 --> 00:59:22.570
so far though but literally love those girls

00:59:22.570 --> 00:59:26.119
well yeah girl love those girls um Just super

00:59:26.119 --> 00:59:29.559
far from me. And then it was like my friend Lloyda

00:59:29.559 --> 00:59:32.320
had come back into the equation. She literally

00:59:32.320 --> 00:59:34.360
texted me out of the blue one day. That's amazing.

00:59:34.559 --> 00:59:37.599
Who brought her to me? God. Not only other than

00:59:37.599 --> 00:59:41.650
God and Jesus, literally. That was literally

00:59:41.650 --> 00:59:43.969
insane. And I was just seeing all of my prayers

00:59:43.969 --> 00:59:45.769
being answered. Like I'm telling you right now,

00:59:45.869 --> 00:59:49.829
I was doing dog sitting and it was, it wasn't

00:59:49.829 --> 00:59:51.809
like a consistent pay. Like it was just like,

00:59:51.869 --> 00:59:53.730
I was getting, you know, here and there. I was

00:59:53.730 --> 00:59:55.449
kind of like struggling financially, like a little

00:59:55.449 --> 00:59:56.909
bit. But you relied on other people going out

00:59:56.909 --> 01:00:00.130
of town for you to have work. Exactly. So I didn't

01:00:00.130 --> 01:00:02.010
know when I was getting paid next. It was kind

01:00:02.010 --> 01:00:03.929
of stressful. I was praying to God. I was like,

01:00:04.010 --> 01:00:06.530
I need something. I love dogs. I want to do something

01:00:06.530 --> 01:00:09.030
with dogs so bad. I was getting really into dog

01:00:09.030 --> 01:00:10.969
training with my own dog. that's when you came

01:00:10.969 --> 01:00:12.769
into the small group because I remember you telling

01:00:12.769 --> 01:00:16.489
us that yes exactly and I prayed about it and

01:00:16.489 --> 01:00:20.010
um again like Jesus just answered I got a new

01:00:20.010 --> 01:00:23.449
job um and it was perfect like it literally is

01:00:23.449 --> 01:00:26.130
like conforming to my schedule I get to make

01:00:26.130 --> 01:00:28.530
my own schedule I still get to do my drop -ins

01:00:28.530 --> 01:00:31.050
my dog sitting my boarding and it was just like

01:00:31.610 --> 01:00:33.829
everything has just been so amazing career wise

01:00:33.829 --> 01:00:36.469
I I know that I want to do I know I want to do

01:00:36.469 --> 01:00:38.570
dog training I know I want to continue to do

01:00:38.570 --> 01:00:41.250
boarding dogs and like I literally say like my

01:00:41.250 --> 01:00:43.170
dogs are my angels like dogs are literally angels

01:00:43.170 --> 01:00:44.829
to me I love them so much they bring me so much

01:00:44.829 --> 01:00:48.769
joy um so that happened like just like prayer

01:00:48.769 --> 01:00:51.550
after prayer just like being answered and I was

01:00:51.550 --> 01:00:53.969
just being too good to not believe yeah exactly

01:00:53.969 --> 01:00:57.030
I was shown too much yeah I was feeling such

01:00:57.030 --> 01:01:01.030
a peace like you said um I I didn't know how

01:01:01.030 --> 01:01:02.750
I was getting through this breakup it was the

01:01:02.750 --> 01:01:04.309
worst thing that ever happened to me like it

01:01:04.309 --> 01:01:06.690
felt like and I was like you just had such peace

01:01:06.690 --> 01:01:09.849
so good I was doing so good and I'm like what

01:01:09.849 --> 01:01:12.190
happened like i just handed it all to him right

01:01:12.190 --> 01:01:15.550
like i was just like this is so amazing and like

01:01:15.550 --> 01:01:17.989
you said like too good not to believe and so

01:01:17.989 --> 01:01:21.190
um just i've been working on just like growing

01:01:21.190 --> 01:01:23.369
my relationship with god and he's just working

01:01:23.369 --> 01:01:26.110
in my life so much and so i have a question for

01:01:26.110 --> 01:01:28.829
you when did you fully when did you fully choose

01:01:28.829 --> 01:01:31.889
to surrender and just like give it all to him

01:01:31.889 --> 01:01:34.670
it was like right before i went to church with

01:01:34.670 --> 01:01:37.210
dana yeah it was at a different church i went

01:01:37.210 --> 01:01:41.010
to um first no it was just called naples church

01:01:41.010 --> 01:01:44.789
yeah by myself one time yeah and i was just like

01:01:44.789 --> 01:01:47.050
kind of embarrassed to go by myself but i had

01:01:47.050 --> 01:01:50.010
no one and so that was like the first like kind

01:01:50.010 --> 01:01:55.369
of step and um and yeah like i said i i i just

01:01:55.369 --> 01:01:57.929
changed too so much like i used to curse a lot

01:01:57.929 --> 01:02:01.789
i don't swear at all anymore and i started just

01:02:01.789 --> 01:02:04.469
like um unfollowing so many people on social

01:02:04.469 --> 01:02:06.389
media like things that don't serve me things

01:02:06.389 --> 01:02:08.309
that i didn't even know weren't serving me like

01:02:08.309 --> 01:02:10.250
i was following all these people like jacked

01:02:10.250 --> 01:02:12.269
people on social media like fitness accounts

01:02:12.269 --> 01:02:14.769
and i'm like i'm literally comparing myself and

01:02:14.769 --> 01:02:16.949
i don't even know that yeah and so just surrounding

01:02:16.949 --> 01:02:20.210
myself with number one christian community number

01:02:20.210 --> 01:02:23.070
two christian content all on social media i unfollowed

01:02:23.070 --> 01:02:24.610
so many accounts like i said and started following

01:02:24.610 --> 01:02:27.269
like christian stuff and number three i only

01:02:27.269 --> 01:02:30.440
listen to worship songs now um Or maybe like

01:02:30.440 --> 01:02:31.940
a country song here and there. I was about to

01:02:31.940 --> 01:02:35.619
say, me and the fans are quite literally some

01:02:35.619 --> 01:02:39.559
metalheads over here. We listen, but we'll jam

01:02:39.559 --> 01:02:44.059
to the goodness of God all day long. Yeah. I'll

01:02:44.059 --> 01:02:46.940
tell you right now. But we might also jam to

01:02:46.940 --> 01:02:50.659
some rock music. But yeah, I just like started

01:02:50.659 --> 01:02:54.980
listening to worship music, podcasts, like podcasts

01:02:54.980 --> 01:02:58.400
and stuff. So like everything now has just been

01:02:58.400 --> 01:03:01.659
like God, Jesus, everything. And it's just so

01:03:01.659 --> 01:03:03.579
crazy. And I talked to my friend Carly about

01:03:03.579 --> 01:03:07.059
it, just how fast he's moving because. Even just

01:03:07.059 --> 01:03:10.119
like my other friends that. aren't christians

01:03:10.119 --> 01:03:12.960
i i've seen them like come to me and ask me questions

01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:15.619
about stuff and i feel like i'm like i'm not

01:03:15.619 --> 01:03:17.480
qualified to give you like answers and stuff

01:03:17.480 --> 01:03:19.599
like i'm so new to this but he's working in my

01:03:19.599 --> 01:03:22.780
life so fast it's just like i can't answer this

01:03:22.780 --> 01:03:24.719
and i can like tell you and i want to help you

01:03:24.719 --> 01:03:27.159
and like that's why i'm like so drawn to this

01:03:27.159 --> 01:03:30.780
and so like i want everyone to feel the peace

01:03:30.780 --> 01:03:33.880
that he's given me and i'm like that's why i

01:03:33.880 --> 01:03:36.960
reached out to you like the was talking to me

01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:39.699
and like it's just so incredible like i said

01:03:39.699 --> 01:03:42.760
like such like a 360. yes like three months how

01:03:42.760 --> 01:03:47.119
much my life has changed um and i ended up blocking

01:03:47.119 --> 01:03:49.719
my ex on every platform right because i wanted

01:03:49.719 --> 01:03:52.300
to post again on social media but i didn't want

01:03:52.300 --> 01:03:54.559
to post you wanted to post it and and and feel

01:03:54.559 --> 01:03:56.719
like it wasn't being judged when it was being

01:03:56.719 --> 01:03:58.579
looked at yeah and also i didn't want to see

01:03:58.579 --> 01:04:01.219
any type of his content or anyone else's content

01:04:01.219 --> 01:04:06.679
because like i don't want to be so um so so like

01:04:06.679 --> 01:04:09.519
involved in like the life of him now and stuff.

01:04:09.639 --> 01:04:11.860
And I wanted to make sure that when I was posting,

01:04:11.920 --> 01:04:14.019
it was posting to honor God and no one else.

01:04:14.119 --> 01:04:16.760
I don't want to have to fear man. I don't want

01:04:16.760 --> 01:04:19.340
to please others when I'm posting and think about

01:04:19.340 --> 01:04:20.980
what others are doing. Think about what he's

01:04:20.980 --> 01:04:23.159
doing in his life. So that has also helped me

01:04:23.159 --> 01:04:26.639
moving, like moving on tremendously. Just doing

01:04:26.639 --> 01:04:28.300
that. And it wasn't like a hateful, like I'm

01:04:28.300 --> 01:04:29.820
blocking you and everything. It was just like,

01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:32.440
this is for God. This is for me. Like I need

01:04:32.440 --> 01:04:35.710
to just. Complete that. I went through that.

01:04:35.750 --> 01:04:39.389
So when I was going through four years ago, I

01:04:39.389 --> 01:04:43.590
cut out TikTok. I mean, I deleted everything.

01:04:43.929 --> 01:04:47.869
TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. I deleted everything

01:04:47.869 --> 01:04:52.269
off. And I still, so we're doing the fasting

01:04:52.269 --> 01:04:54.989
and the prayer right now at Hope City. And one

01:04:54.989 --> 01:04:59.329
of the things that I, you know, you and I, we've

01:04:59.329 --> 01:05:01.369
chatted about a bit, but one of the things that

01:05:01.369 --> 01:05:04.800
I cut out was. doom scrolling yeah because like

01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:09.199
where yes my my my social media is now i don't

01:05:09.199 --> 01:05:11.199
i still don't really get on tiktok ever i do

01:05:11.199 --> 01:05:13.340
have it but i it's only because like my family

01:05:13.340 --> 01:05:15.559
will send me videos and i want to be able to

01:05:15.559 --> 01:05:18.300
like actually watch it yeah but i'm like an instagram

01:05:18.300 --> 01:05:21.559
reels and a facebook reels girly okay um but

01:05:21.559 --> 01:05:23.219
it's like always stuff it's either stuff about

01:05:23.219 --> 01:05:27.320
doing nails or it's stuff about like um christian

01:05:27.320 --> 01:05:29.960
like it's like christian stuff or it's you know

01:05:30.889 --> 01:05:33.789
philip michael anthony like a good little sermon

01:05:33.789 --> 01:05:36.429
clip from either him or josh howard or pastor

01:05:36.429 --> 01:05:41.210
eric or joey martin and like um so it's like

01:05:41.210 --> 01:05:44.389
a good amount of that but i found myself like

01:05:44.389 --> 01:05:49.170
just not being productive right and so you know

01:05:49.170 --> 01:05:51.369
ended up cutting that out you know doom scrolling

01:05:51.369 --> 01:05:56.329
uh for for fasting as well as soda the soda is

01:05:56.329 --> 01:05:58.630
kind of in the hardest part I don't even drink

01:05:58.630 --> 01:06:01.070
sugar soda. It's just diet soda, but it's so,

01:06:01.070 --> 01:06:03.650
it's still so good. The bubbly, the carbonation.

01:06:03.670 --> 01:06:06.909
It is what it is. But yeah, no, I get it, dude.

01:06:06.949 --> 01:06:09.070
Like the, during when I was going through that

01:06:09.070 --> 01:06:13.429
four years ago, I was on such a poor side of

01:06:13.429 --> 01:06:14.989
social media. And I do think that there's good

01:06:14.989 --> 01:06:17.710
in social media and the fact that we can use

01:06:17.710 --> 01:06:20.809
it to reach people. Right. And, but I was on

01:06:20.809 --> 01:06:24.130
such a poor side of social media that it was.

01:06:26.670 --> 01:06:29.230
It's sending me down like rabbit holes of paganism,

01:06:29.250 --> 01:06:32.730
bro. It's so true of what you consume your mind

01:06:32.730 --> 01:06:34.809
with is how you're going to act and what you're

01:06:34.809 --> 01:06:37.730
thinking about. Yes, yes. That is so true. That's

01:06:37.730 --> 01:06:40.429
why I was like, I need to clear all of this out.

01:06:40.469 --> 01:06:44.150
I need to do a factory reset. I can't see these

01:06:44.150 --> 01:06:46.829
models on Instagram and compare myself to them

01:06:46.829 --> 01:06:48.929
every day. Even when I say I'm not doing it,

01:06:48.969 --> 01:06:54.480
I am. You best believe I am, right? I also was

01:06:54.480 --> 01:06:57.920
listening to a podcast too. And she's, it's,

01:06:57.920 --> 01:07:00.659
do you know Madison Pruitt? Yes. Stay True podcast.

01:07:00.659 --> 01:07:03.400
Yes. So she brought this up and I thought it

01:07:03.400 --> 01:07:06.380
was just like, so like, this is just, I can relate

01:07:06.380 --> 01:07:09.500
to this so much and so many people can. But when

01:07:09.500 --> 01:07:13.980
I started to make my main focus following Jesus

01:07:13.980 --> 01:07:18.699
and God and just wanting to be more like Jesus.

01:07:18.699 --> 01:07:21.519
And that was just my everything, right? Like

01:07:21.519 --> 01:07:24.289
that's my focus in life. Like everything else

01:07:24.289 --> 01:07:26.070
follows. Like I used to be like, oh, I'm going

01:07:26.070 --> 01:07:28.210
to focus on myself. Like I'm going to do this

01:07:28.210 --> 01:07:31.230
and all that. But that is just like what comes

01:07:31.230 --> 01:07:33.909
with it. Like my life, I feel like more like

01:07:33.909 --> 01:07:36.590
feminine. Yeah. Like I feel this in the gym.

01:07:36.650 --> 01:07:40.449
I'm doing better and stuff. And just I'm being

01:07:40.449 --> 01:07:44.829
like my. my whole character is just like changed

01:07:44.829 --> 01:07:47.329
and stuff. Well, and I think also too, like my

01:07:47.329 --> 01:07:49.670
heart. Yeah. And I was going to say like the,

01:07:49.730 --> 01:07:52.849
the, the, the number one thing that people don't

01:07:52.849 --> 01:07:57.670
realize is that when you, when you surrender

01:07:57.670 --> 01:08:01.489
your life to Christ and maybe people do realize

01:08:01.489 --> 01:08:03.530
this and they just quite literally don't care.

01:08:03.650 --> 01:08:06.030
But when you do surrender your life to Christ,

01:08:08.400 --> 01:08:12.639
your heart is cleansed you quite literally it

01:08:12.639 --> 01:08:16.220
the psalms say created me a clean heart oh lord

01:08:16.220 --> 01:08:19.220
and renew a right spirit within me you are literally

01:08:19.220 --> 01:08:23.100
your sin debt is paid you are washed white as

01:08:23.100 --> 01:08:28.180
snow from that baptism to the the resurrection

01:08:28.180 --> 01:08:30.739
of the holy spirit right or your resurrection

01:08:30.739 --> 01:08:34.159
into then the holy spirit coming and living within

01:08:34.159 --> 01:08:40.479
you right so You are quite literally made clean,

01:08:40.619 --> 01:08:44.899
made whole. Made new. Made new, yeah. But your

01:08:44.899 --> 01:08:49.619
heart is still and your mind is still your flesh,

01:08:49.699 --> 01:08:52.779
right? Your body is still your flesh. You still

01:08:52.779 --> 01:08:54.760
have to fight it. You still have to fight it.

01:08:54.760 --> 01:08:56.960
And the thing about it is like spiritual warfare

01:08:56.960 --> 01:08:58.600
is the hardest when the devil knows that he's

01:08:58.600 --> 01:09:02.460
just lost somebody, right? And so like. Hell

01:09:02.460 --> 01:09:07.020
lost another one. Yeah, girl, we are. I love

01:09:07.020 --> 01:09:13.420
it. So, but the thing is, is like the, it just,

01:09:13.539 --> 01:09:18.439
either way. So, so what has, what you want to

01:09:18.439 --> 01:09:20.539
do then as a Christian, when you give your heart

01:09:20.539 --> 01:09:24.859
to Jesus and what you have to fight for, well,

01:09:25.800 --> 01:09:27.220
you don't have to fight for it. Jesus fights

01:09:27.220 --> 01:09:29.800
it for you. And the devil's already been defeated,

01:09:29.880 --> 01:09:32.300
but he just thinks he can like, and smack his

01:09:32.300 --> 01:09:34.140
little whip at you every now and again and irritate

01:09:34.140 --> 01:09:35.760
the crap out of you. Out of there. Literally.

01:09:35.880 --> 01:09:37.920
I'm so competitive, girl. This is why I'm just

01:09:37.920 --> 01:09:40.239
like, I want to win. Exactly. Like, get away.

01:09:40.420 --> 01:09:42.279
I want Jesus to win. I don't want to win. I want

01:09:42.279 --> 01:09:45.680
Jesus to win. Yes, yes. But it's like, the thing

01:09:45.680 --> 01:09:47.220
is, is like the devil keeps trying to crack his

01:09:47.220 --> 01:09:49.140
little whip at you and Jesus has already like

01:09:49.140 --> 01:09:51.840
defeated him. He's just like. Trying to like.

01:09:51.920 --> 01:09:54.199
Yeah. For some reason. So the thing is, is like,

01:09:54.220 --> 01:09:56.279
you have to choose to follow Jesus and when you

01:09:56.279 --> 01:09:58.380
choose to follow Jesus and you choose to do the

01:09:58.380 --> 01:10:02.409
things. You know, the spiritual disciplines that

01:10:02.409 --> 01:10:04.130
are talked about in the Bible, reading scripture,

01:10:04.409 --> 01:10:07.409
prayer, fasting, all the spiritual disciplines

01:10:07.409 --> 01:10:09.789
that are talked about in the Bible, you start

01:10:09.789 --> 01:10:12.510
to see the fruits of the Spirit. What are the

01:10:12.510 --> 01:10:14.770
fruits of the Spirit? Love, joy, peace, patience,

01:10:14.890 --> 01:10:16.550
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,

01:10:16.689 --> 01:10:20.010
and self -control. And all of those things culminate

01:10:20.010 --> 01:10:25.430
to just a posture of thank you. And it's just

01:10:25.430 --> 01:10:29.680
gratitude. When you're sitting there, you're

01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:32.739
no longer wondering, you know, what is this person

01:10:32.739 --> 01:10:35.579
thinking of me? You're saying, thank you, Jesus,

01:10:35.659 --> 01:10:39.159
for everything. Yeah. Like, how can I spread

01:10:39.159 --> 01:10:42.520
the gospel to this person? Yes. Right? And it's

01:10:42.520 --> 01:10:45.560
just such a posture of gratitude to where, like,

01:10:45.619 --> 01:10:52.300
you are. Just love. Yeah. And, like, dude, I

01:10:52.300 --> 01:10:55.390
struggle with irritation. and anxiety and anger

01:10:55.390 --> 01:10:59.229
so bad sometimes. And, and I know my husband

01:10:59.229 --> 01:11:02.409
is in the back going, yes, she does. But like

01:11:02.409 --> 01:11:06.229
it is there. And there's days where it flares

01:11:06.229 --> 01:11:09.550
and I have, I'm just, I'm, I'm ill and I'm irritated,

01:11:09.630 --> 01:11:13.470
but you know, what can change my heart real quick.

01:11:13.609 --> 01:11:16.649
Exactly. literally praying and asking jesus asking

01:11:16.649 --> 01:11:20.310
for yeah to to put on that full armor right and

01:11:20.310 --> 01:11:23.590
and to cover me from any of the anxieties that

01:11:23.590 --> 01:11:24.949
the devil's trying to throw at me any of the

01:11:24.949 --> 01:11:27.750
insecurities and it's just a heart and it's so

01:11:27.750 --> 01:11:30.930
real yeah i feel it so much and that's how you

01:11:30.930 --> 01:11:33.949
know that's how you know that he is real because

01:11:33.949 --> 01:11:36.649
we've literally like i felt that if somebody

01:11:36.649 --> 01:11:39.550
feels like i'm just gonna say it once and this

01:11:39.550 --> 01:11:44.689
is this is just me if somebody feels the love

01:11:44.689 --> 01:11:50.270
of God and loves and feels the Holy Spirit, how

01:11:50.270 --> 01:11:53.850
can you not? Exactly. Right. And how can you

01:11:53.850 --> 01:11:59.029
like, and if not back to, yeah. And if not, how

01:11:59.029 --> 01:12:02.350
can I help you get there? Yeah. What, what can

01:12:02.350 --> 01:12:05.050
I plant the seed? What can I pray for? Like,

01:12:05.090 --> 01:12:07.909
how can I plant the seed? Like, let me just sow

01:12:07.909 --> 01:12:10.069
and God's going to grow because that's, that's

01:12:10.069 --> 01:12:12.979
what I do. right and that's why we're here yes

01:12:12.979 --> 01:12:18.220
look at that segue that's why we're here oh i

01:12:18.220 --> 01:12:21.420
love that that was we went in really deep yeah

01:12:21.420 --> 01:12:23.579
we did and i loved it i think it was a great

01:12:23.579 --> 01:12:25.800
first episode maddie do you mind if i close this

01:12:25.800 --> 01:12:27.239
in prayer oh my gosh do you have anything you

01:12:27.239 --> 01:12:29.859
want to say last minute i'm just so grateful

01:12:29.859 --> 01:12:32.979
honestly i mean I feel like I say that all the

01:12:32.979 --> 01:12:34.979
time, but I remember like crying in my car one

01:12:34.979 --> 01:12:36.659
time because I was just so grateful for what

01:12:36.659 --> 01:12:38.520
the Lord has done. Oh, dude, I do it all the

01:12:38.520 --> 01:12:41.859
time. I'm getting emotional. Me too. Don't let

01:12:41.859 --> 01:12:44.020
me get emotional. I'm not going to cry. I'm not

01:12:44.020 --> 01:12:46.340
going to. I'm an emotional chicken. Close us.

01:12:46.460 --> 01:12:51.800
Close us. Yes. Father, I thank you for just community

01:12:51.800 --> 01:12:56.079
and friendship and callings that you put on our

01:12:56.079 --> 01:12:57.899
life, whether they are difficult, whether they

01:12:57.899 --> 01:13:03.060
seem so far out of reach. or whether you just

01:13:03.060 --> 01:13:06.760
say jump and we say how high. Dear Lord, I thank

01:13:06.760 --> 01:13:12.060
you so much for friends that you bring together,

01:13:12.159 --> 01:13:16.560
stuff that you put together, and ideas that you

01:13:16.560 --> 01:13:18.720
place in our brains last minute. And dear Lord,

01:13:18.760 --> 01:13:21.840
I just pray for whoever is listening to this

01:13:21.840 --> 01:13:25.539
right now, whether they are in their car, whether

01:13:25.539 --> 01:13:27.520
they are at home, whether they're cooking dinner,

01:13:27.739 --> 01:13:31.579
whether they are just... chilling. Lord, I pray

01:13:31.579 --> 01:13:35.140
that you would just be with them, allow them

01:13:35.140 --> 01:13:39.220
to feel a nudge from you, allow them to just

01:13:39.220 --> 01:13:42.939
wrap, wrap your arms around them, God. And just

01:13:42.939 --> 01:13:45.560
let them know that, that we come to them through

01:13:45.560 --> 01:13:50.600
these microphones with just the utmost love and

01:13:50.600 --> 01:13:56.539
prayer and obedience to you. This is, as you

01:13:56.539 --> 01:13:59.439
know, so far out of. both of our comfort zones

01:13:59.439 --> 01:14:03.119
and we're just here doing what you tell us to

01:14:03.119 --> 01:14:06.180
do so dear lord i pray that uh you would be with

01:14:06.180 --> 01:14:08.800
both of us as we continue on this journey and

01:14:08.800 --> 01:14:10.920
as we continue to get to know one another i pray

01:14:10.920 --> 01:14:13.399
that everything we do and everything we say always

01:14:13.399 --> 01:14:16.739
and forever brings glory to you and i pray for

01:14:16.739 --> 01:14:19.579
the person that's listening that um if you are

01:14:19.579 --> 01:14:21.880
needed in their life they will take that step

01:14:21.880 --> 01:14:26.779
towards you god So I just thank you so much for

01:14:26.779 --> 01:14:29.060
the opportunity to sit here tonight and to be

01:14:29.060 --> 01:14:31.420
together and to just worship and fellowship together

01:14:31.420 --> 01:14:34.859
and just build a community. And I ask all of

01:14:34.859 --> 01:14:36.619
these things in your name. Amen.