WEBVTT 00:00:02.540 --> 00:00:05.120 So this is the last message here that I'm going 00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:10.380 to be bringing on the family. And so this morning, 00:00:10.460 --> 00:00:15.500 we're going to talk specifically about children 00:00:15.500 --> 00:00:19.480 again, but in a different way. So in Ephesians 00:00:19.480 --> 00:00:25.620 6, Paul gives some specific instruction to children. 00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:28.920 So in Ephesians 6, he says, Children, obey your 00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:32.250 parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor 00:00:32.250 --> 00:00:34.770 your father and mother, which is the first commandment 00:00:34.770 --> 00:00:37.229 with a promise, so that it may be well with you 00:00:37.229 --> 00:00:42.289 and that you may live long on the earth. He says 00:00:42.289 --> 00:00:46.969 the same thing here in Colossians 3. In Colossians 00:00:46.969 --> 00:00:51.369 3, verse 20, dealing with the family again, he 00:00:51.369 --> 00:00:53.469 says, Children, be obedient to your parents in 00:00:53.469 --> 00:00:56.670 all things, for this is well -pleasing to the 00:00:56.670 --> 00:01:05.950 Lord. So, seems pretty clear, right? Children, 00:01:06.030 --> 00:01:11.090 obey your parents. Who's he speaking to? When 00:01:11.090 --> 00:01:13.349 he says children here, who's he talking about? 00:01:15.730 --> 00:01:19.510 Is it all children? Is it little bitty kids? 00:01:21.030 --> 00:01:26.150 Is it grown up kids? Well, I think we can apply 00:01:26.150 --> 00:01:32.049 it to all children. Specifically, all the children, 00:01:32.150 --> 00:01:36.390 I guess I would say, in the home. And so I think 00:01:36.390 --> 00:01:40.010 Paul's instruction here is not just for little 00:01:40.010 --> 00:01:45.870 ones, but teenagers still living in the home. 00:01:47.290 --> 00:01:49.590 Really, I would say all those who are still under 00:01:49.590 --> 00:01:53.450 their parents' authority. Now there comes a time, 00:01:53.450 --> 00:01:56.430 right, where we're no longer under the authority 00:01:56.430 --> 00:02:00.569 of our parents. I think we talked about that 00:02:00.569 --> 00:02:02.650 when we talked about getting married, moving 00:02:02.650 --> 00:02:06.629 out, cleaving unto your wife. You've left that 00:02:06.629 --> 00:02:09.430 authority structure and you've begun your own. 00:02:11.610 --> 00:02:14.169 We could also say perhaps there's a time there 00:02:14.169 --> 00:02:18.409 where you move out, you're on your own. And so 00:02:18.409 --> 00:02:23.780 again, you've left that authority. But certainly 00:02:23.780 --> 00:02:25.939 while you're in the home, you're under the authority 00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:28.759 of your parents. And so Paul gives clear instruction 00:02:28.759 --> 00:02:41.240 here to obey. This is also should be taken an 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:44.379 admonition to the parents as well, right? What 00:02:44.379 --> 00:02:48.659 does this say to the parents? You should expect 00:02:48.659 --> 00:02:53.210 obedience. That should be an expectation. That 00:02:53.210 --> 00:02:56.330 should be required. And again, that begins, as 00:02:56.330 --> 00:02:59.090 we said, with the training, nurture, discipline 00:02:59.090 --> 00:03:02.389 of our children. That begins when they're teeny 00:03:02.389 --> 00:03:06.349 tiny, when they're crawling around, and then 00:03:06.349 --> 00:03:09.469 as they begin to walk and so on. It begins then, 00:03:09.509 --> 00:03:16.610 the expectation, and it continues. This is a 00:03:16.610 --> 00:03:20.439 command. And so for those children who are converted, 00:03:20.539 --> 00:03:25.120 this is a command from the Lord to obey. Do you 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:28.620 want to please the Lord? Obey your parents. It's 00:03:28.620 --> 00:03:32.780 real simple. To be under the authority of your 00:03:32.780 --> 00:03:38.520 parents is a safe place. It's a good place. In 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:44.520 a Christian home. And so to put yourself willingly. 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:48.419 Under that authority is a good thing. It's pleasing 00:03:48.419 --> 00:03:53.599 to the Lord and it's safe for you. So, a clear 00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:58.479 command there. How serious is this command? Have 00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:02.360 you ever thought about that? Children, obey your 00:04:02.360 --> 00:04:06.039 parents. Are we given any other instruction in 00:04:06.039 --> 00:04:09.300 the Bible about obedient or disobedient children? 00:04:11.500 --> 00:04:15.199 Well, we are. So let's read a couple of these 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:19.759 passages. The first one here is in Proverbs. 00:04:20.139 --> 00:04:25.839 Proverbs 30, verse 17. The seriousness of obedience. 00:04:27.779 --> 00:04:30.860 The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, 00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:33.300 the ravens of the valley will pick it out and 00:04:33.300 --> 00:04:36.740 the young eagles will eat it. Seems like some 00:04:36.740 --> 00:04:40.180 serious things there. Those who would scorn their 00:04:40.180 --> 00:04:42.680 father and their mother. And I think that scorning, 00:04:43.149 --> 00:04:46.470 Would include disobedience. We have in Deuteronomy. 00:04:52.649 --> 00:05:02.829 Deuteronomy 21. 18 through 21. If any man has 00:05:02.829 --> 00:05:05.490 a stubborn and rebellious son. Who will not obey 00:05:05.490 --> 00:05:08.009 his father and his mother. And when they chastise 00:05:08.009 --> 00:05:10.730 him. He will not even listen to them. Then his 00:05:10.730 --> 00:05:12.829 father and mother shall seize him and bring him 00:05:12.829 --> 00:05:15.790 out to the elders of the city at the gateway 00:05:15.790 --> 00:05:18.029 of his hometown. They shall say to the elders 00:05:18.029 --> 00:05:20.689 of his city, this son of ours is stubborn and 00:05:20.689 --> 00:05:24.029 rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton 00:05:24.029 --> 00:05:26.750 and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city 00:05:26.750 --> 00:05:29.569 shall stone him to death. So you shall remove 00:05:29.569 --> 00:05:31.790 the evil from your midst and all Israel will 00:05:31.790 --> 00:05:34.750 hear of it and fear. That's a serious thing, 00:05:34.829 --> 00:05:37.089 right? It's a serious thing back in the day. 00:05:37.980 --> 00:05:41.360 Seemed to be a grown man, or at least older for 00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:45.379 sure. But there was obedience expected. And then 00:05:45.379 --> 00:05:53.240 in Romans, this is mentioned again. Now I've 00:05:53.240 --> 00:06:00.740 always just thought, how could this be? But in 00:06:00.740 --> 00:06:11.160 Romans 1, 29 and 30. Paul says, now this is, 00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:15.199 we'll begin in 28, and just as they did not see 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:18.480 fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:21.100 over to a depraved mind to do those things which 00:06:21.100 --> 00:06:24.420 are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, 00:06:24.420 --> 00:06:27.980 wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder, 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:32.279 strife, deceit, malice. They are gossips, slanderers, 00:06:32.279 --> 00:06:34.879 haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful. 00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:39.220 inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without 00:06:39.220 --> 00:06:42.279 understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful, 00:06:42.420 --> 00:06:47.259 and so on. I mean, that's a terrible list of 00:06:47.259 --> 00:06:49.420 things. And here this disobedience to parents 00:06:49.420 --> 00:06:51.379 is thrown in there. Do we ever think of it in 00:06:51.379 --> 00:06:55.839 such a serious way? Murder, slander, evil, turning 00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:58.040 their backs on God, all those things that Paul 00:06:58.040 --> 00:07:02.519 mentions there. And then he throws in disobedient 00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:07.180 to parents. So it's a serious thing. It's not 00:07:07.180 --> 00:07:09.339 just a light matter that we're talking about 00:07:09.339 --> 00:07:11.300 here when we're talking about being obedient 00:07:11.300 --> 00:07:16.100 to parents. God expects it. God requires it. 00:07:16.839 --> 00:07:19.939 And as parents, we should require it. We should 00:07:19.939 --> 00:07:23.740 expect it. If you don't, then you're failing. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:27.120 You're failing as a parent. You're not doing 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:29.720 what God's called you to do. If you're not obeying 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:33.550 as a child, you're in clear rebellion. Not only 00:07:33.550 --> 00:07:36.009 against your parents, but you're in rebellion 00:07:36.009 --> 00:07:40.389 against God. You have set yourself up as an authority 00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:44.589 rather than who God has put as an authority over 00:07:44.589 --> 00:07:50.569 you. So, it's a serious matter. It is a sin of 00:07:50.569 --> 00:07:54.629 rebellion. That seems to be the big issue there 00:07:54.629 --> 00:07:56.709 in all of those things is they were rebellious. 00:07:57.089 --> 00:07:59.589 They'll not have anything. They'll not have any 00:07:59.589 --> 00:08:03.040 other rule over them. They will only rule over 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:06.139 themselves. And of course, that was the sin of 00:08:06.139 --> 00:08:08.579 Israel, right? They were a rebellious and stiff 00:08:08.579 --> 00:08:13.660 -necked people. Would not submit to God. And 00:08:13.660 --> 00:08:21.560 so, the same as a disobedient child. So, what 00:08:21.560 --> 00:08:23.699 is obedience? We've talked about this already 00:08:23.699 --> 00:08:26.500 when we talk about what we should expect as parents 00:08:26.500 --> 00:08:30.589 of our children. Obedience is not simply an outward 00:08:30.589 --> 00:08:35.590 act. It is that. That's part of it. But we also 00:08:35.590 --> 00:08:39.330 said true obedience comes from the heart. It's 00:08:39.330 --> 00:08:43.750 a desire to do what's right. It is doing what 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:47.909 we're told with a good attitude. With a submissive 00:08:47.909 --> 00:08:53.070 attitude. With a heart to obey. And so, you children, 00:08:53.210 --> 00:08:56.970 that's what obedience is. If you want to please 00:08:56.970 --> 00:09:00.500 the Lord, If you want to do what is commanded 00:09:00.500 --> 00:09:04.659 here and obey your parents, then you must do 00:09:04.659 --> 00:09:06.879 it with a good heart, with a good attitude, with 00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:11.720 a desire to submit to them. That's true obedience. 00:09:13.820 --> 00:09:17.259 Now, does that mean if you don't have the heart, 00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:19.179 then you shouldn't listen to them? No, you should 00:09:19.179 --> 00:09:21.440 still listen. You should still do those things, 00:09:21.460 --> 00:09:24.559 but know that that's not the right way. That's 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:27.559 not what's pleasing to the Lord. The Lord expects, 00:09:27.700 --> 00:09:33.440 demands this true obedience from the heart with 00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:37.220 a good attitude. And so parents, again, that's 00:09:37.220 --> 00:09:43.799 what should be expected. It's not okay for you 00:09:43.799 --> 00:09:46.000 to tell your kids to do something and for them 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:47.799 to go and do it kicking and screaming with no 00:09:47.799 --> 00:09:51.980 consequences. That requires discipline. Requires 00:09:51.980 --> 00:09:56.990 a spanking, whatever. So know that. Again, obedience 00:09:56.990 --> 00:10:00.230 is commanded and required by God, and it should 00:10:00.230 --> 00:10:05.590 be required by you as well. We talked about all 00:10:05.590 --> 00:10:12.590 that. So, I mentioned already, when does this 00:10:12.590 --> 00:10:14.850 end? When you're outside the home, when you're 00:10:14.850 --> 00:10:17.990 outside the authority of your parents. We also 00:10:17.990 --> 00:10:21.029 saw here in these other passages that these were 00:10:21.029 --> 00:10:24.019 old, there seems to be, again, Some requirement 00:10:24.019 --> 00:10:26.320 of older children. We're not talking about little 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:29.779 kids. We're not just talking about babies. And 00:10:29.779 --> 00:10:33.200 so, you're under your parents' authority. You 00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:38.080 should obey. That should be expected of both 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:43.159 parents. And you should willingly obey as an 00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:45.539 older person living under the authority of your 00:10:45.539 --> 00:10:52.190 parents. I mentioned this already, but just because 00:10:52.190 --> 00:10:54.129 you reach a certain age, just because you're 00:10:54.129 --> 00:10:58.070 18 and you're legal, that doesn't mean you no 00:10:58.070 --> 00:10:59.950 longer have to obey your parents while you're 00:10:59.950 --> 00:11:02.830 under their authority. Again, what is that? That's 00:11:02.830 --> 00:11:05.570 just rebellion. That's just you doing your own 00:11:05.570 --> 00:11:08.830 thing. You want to live your own life. That's 00:11:08.830 --> 00:11:21.500 wickedness. That's rebellion. That's sin. Why? 00:11:21.539 --> 00:11:23.799 Why is this a good thing? I wrote down a couple 00:11:23.799 --> 00:11:26.539 things here. Why does God command or require 00:11:26.539 --> 00:11:32.059 this? These are in no order of importance. But 00:11:32.059 --> 00:11:35.679 it teaches submission. It teaches our children 00:11:35.679 --> 00:11:38.919 to submit to authority. That is a good thing. 00:11:39.740 --> 00:11:43.080 That they understand they are under authority. 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:48.559 There is someone above me. I am not top dog. 00:11:49.639 --> 00:11:55.019 I am underneath this authority. We as parents, 00:11:55.059 --> 00:11:59.179 we should model that. That whole idea of being 00:11:59.179 --> 00:12:01.259 under authority. Whose authority are we under? 00:12:02.779 --> 00:12:06.320 We submit to God, right? We are submitting to 00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:09.340 God. He is our authority. And we should reflect 00:12:09.340 --> 00:12:14.159 that. We should show that as we live in our home, 00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:16.080 as we do these different things, our children 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:19.360 should see. Dad does what he does. Mom does what 00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:23.440 she does because someone, God, has told them 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:25.779 to do it this way. They're not just doing it 00:12:25.779 --> 00:12:27.460 because this is what they want to do. They're 00:12:27.460 --> 00:12:30.419 doing these things because God requires it of 00:12:30.419 --> 00:12:33.019 them. And so they're submitted to this authority. 00:12:33.460 --> 00:12:35.759 And that's why they think I should submit to 00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:37.879 their authority because this is the order that 00:12:37.879 --> 00:12:42.179 God has placed. And so we should demonstrate 00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:45.500 that in our own lives as parents. That we're 00:12:45.500 --> 00:12:47.919 not our own authority. We are under the authority 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:52.320 of God. The authority of Christ. So they should 00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:56.080 see that in us. And so it's good for them to 00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:58.039 see it. It's good for them to know these things 00:12:58.039 --> 00:13:02.720 as they move on in life. That they are able and 00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:05.799 willing to submit themselves to the authority 00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:08.360 in the home. And then the authority as they move 00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:10.779 out into the world. Again, there is authority 00:13:10.779 --> 00:13:14.179 in the world. You have laws. You have rules. 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:17.580 You have bosses. And all of these other things. 00:13:17.799 --> 00:13:20.240 If you never learn to submit to that authority, 00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:25.360 you're going to have a hard way to go. It's going 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:30.100 to be a difficult life for you. And so we as 00:13:30.100 --> 00:13:33.539 parents should be teaching that at home and preparing 00:13:33.539 --> 00:13:49.330 them to go out into the world in that way. This 00:13:49.330 --> 00:13:53.509 begins, again, at an early age. But one thing, 00:13:53.590 --> 00:13:57.710 one reason why this authority is good is it should 00:13:57.710 --> 00:14:02.090 teach our children, and we should be instructing 00:14:02.090 --> 00:14:05.309 them, that we do this, we expect this, because 00:14:05.309 --> 00:14:10.370 we love them. This is a loving thing. So they 00:14:10.370 --> 00:14:14.470 should know, Mom and Dad make these rules. Mom 00:14:14.470 --> 00:14:16.850 and Dad tell me to do these things. Not just 00:14:16.850 --> 00:14:20.559 to be hard. Not just to make my life miserable, 00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:23.480 but because it's what mom and dad think is best. 00:14:25.460 --> 00:14:29.919 As a child, if that is not how you view your 00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:32.259 parents, then you are viewing them incorrectly. 00:14:34.500 --> 00:14:36.639 Now, obviously, we're talking here in a Christian 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:39.539 home, right? If we're out in the world and we've 00:14:39.539 --> 00:14:43.240 got these wicked, evil parents, then yes, they 00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:48.590 do things just to be mean. No doubt. But in a 00:14:48.590 --> 00:14:51.490 godly Christian home, when you are in that home, 00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:55.350 you should have the understanding that mom and 00:14:55.350 --> 00:14:58.149 dad do these things. Mom and dad require these 00:14:58.149 --> 00:15:01.909 things because they love me. Are mom and dad 00:15:01.909 --> 00:15:08.730 always right? No, they make mistakes. But it's 00:15:08.730 --> 00:15:12.710 not they're doing these things because they hate 00:15:12.710 --> 00:15:17.220 you, because they want to cramp your style. keep 00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:20.340 you from having fun, and all these other ideas 00:15:20.340 --> 00:15:25.120 that come into our heads. Even if mom and dad 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:31.679 are wrong, what's your response? Obedience. It's 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:34.580 not okay for you to decide mom and dad are wrong, 00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:37.799 so I'm not obeying that one. That's not obedience. 00:15:39.960 --> 00:15:46.370 That's not honoring to God. So, Your children 00:15:46.370 --> 00:15:49.009 should know why you do what you do. For their 00:15:49.009 --> 00:15:51.610 love, because of your concern for them, your 00:15:51.610 --> 00:15:54.690 desire for their good. That should be evident. 00:15:54.789 --> 00:15:58.950 And you should show that and explain that. I 00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:02.809 remember telling my kids that. I know you don't 00:16:02.809 --> 00:16:04.850 enjoy this. I know this isn't what you want. 00:16:05.029 --> 00:16:09.750 I know you'd rather do this. But we're not doing 00:16:09.750 --> 00:16:16.960 that. I think this is best. And they can hopefully 00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:21.340 receive that and continue on in obedience and 00:16:21.340 --> 00:16:24.220 love. But that's the type of relationship we 00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:25.940 want to have with our children, that they know 00:16:25.940 --> 00:16:32.399 we do these things for their good. Again, when 00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:35.639 they're young, I don't know if I said this ever, 00:16:35.740 --> 00:16:37.620 but when they're young, they don't need an explanation 00:16:37.620 --> 00:16:39.860 for everything. You know, that two -year -old 00:16:39.860 --> 00:16:41.700 running around doesn't need to know why he can't 00:16:41.700 --> 00:16:44.700 do what you tell him not to do. But as they grow 00:16:44.700 --> 00:16:48.059 up and they become reasoning and they're like, 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:51.220 why? Why is this, Dad? Why are you saying this? 00:16:51.740 --> 00:16:54.340 There's nothing wrong with a conversation. Well, 00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:56.179 this is why, buddy. This is what I think. This 00:16:56.179 --> 00:16:59.059 is why we're doing that. He can receive it or 00:16:59.059 --> 00:17:01.700 not, but at least he knows, hey, Dad has my good 00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:05.900 in mind. Dad loves me. I can talk to Dad about 00:17:05.900 --> 00:17:09.180 these things. So that's a good and a healthy 00:17:09.180 --> 00:17:14.220 way. To develop a relationship with your children. 00:17:14.819 --> 00:17:17.059 Explaining those things. When it's appropriate. 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:23.579 When the time comes. At a good age. Along those 00:17:23.579 --> 00:17:26.880 same lines. Let me say this. I don't know if 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:30.519 I said this or not. But I thought of it. A couple 00:17:30.519 --> 00:17:35.450 of different times. As parents. Our desire, I 00:17:35.450 --> 00:17:37.450 know we talked about relationship, our desire 00:17:37.450 --> 00:17:40.250 is to foster a good and healthy relationship 00:17:40.250 --> 00:17:42.029 with our children, to be able to communicate 00:17:42.029 --> 00:17:44.970 with them, for them to share their concerns with 00:17:44.970 --> 00:17:49.609 us, and to be open and honest with us. And this 00:17:49.609 --> 00:17:52.309 is one way that we do that, is explaining to 00:17:52.309 --> 00:17:55.269 them, I understand your frustrations, I understand 00:17:55.269 --> 00:17:59.410 what you don't like here, and that's, I understand 00:17:59.410 --> 00:18:02.210 that, but it's not, we're still going on here. 00:18:02.890 --> 00:18:06.190 Again, that helps with relationship. But what 00:18:06.190 --> 00:18:09.329 we want as parents, what we want to foster in 00:18:09.329 --> 00:18:13.069 our children is when they do move out, when they 00:18:13.069 --> 00:18:15.509 are gone, we still want that type of relationship 00:18:15.509 --> 00:18:19.269 with our children. That we can go to them. They 00:18:19.269 --> 00:18:22.210 can come to us. We can still have open lines 00:18:22.210 --> 00:18:25.230 of communication. We can still speak into their 00:18:25.230 --> 00:18:28.349 lives. Say, why are you doing this? What's going 00:18:28.349 --> 00:18:31.970 on here? Why did you make this decision? This 00:18:31.970 --> 00:18:33.970 doesn't seem very good. It doesn't seem wise. 00:18:34.109 --> 00:18:37.589 It doesn't seem profitable. What's going on? 00:18:38.410 --> 00:18:42.710 This all begins early on. And so foster that 00:18:42.710 --> 00:18:45.410 relationship so that as they move out, as they're 00:18:45.410 --> 00:18:48.230 no longer under your authority, you still have 00:18:48.230 --> 00:18:52.650 opportunity to speak to them. And them knowing 00:18:52.650 --> 00:18:57.269 they can come to you for any advice and any help 00:18:57.269 --> 00:19:03.490 and any concern that they may have. So, obedience 00:19:03.490 --> 00:19:08.950 is expected by God, and it's good for our children. 00:19:09.470 --> 00:19:15.150 It's right. Along these same lines, obedience 00:19:15.150 --> 00:19:20.150 should not just be expected in your home, but 00:19:20.150 --> 00:19:22.670 your children should be expected to obey all 00:19:22.670 --> 00:19:25.569 those that are in authority. So this is a separate 00:19:25.569 --> 00:19:28.329 issue here, but when you leave your children 00:19:28.329 --> 00:19:33.519 with somebody, You should be giving them all 00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:38.180 the authority to deal with your children. Otherwise, 00:19:38.339 --> 00:19:43.059 why are you putting them in their care? If you 00:19:43.059 --> 00:19:45.099 don't trust them to care for your child, why 00:19:45.099 --> 00:19:47.980 do you leave them with them? So when you drop 00:19:47.980 --> 00:19:49.559 them off at grandma and grandpa's, do grandma 00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:51.599 and grandpa know they can spank them? Do grandma 00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:54.980 and grandpa know they've got rules and kids are 00:19:54.980 --> 00:19:57.059 expected to obey grandma and grandpa's rules 00:19:57.059 --> 00:19:59.680 just like they're expected to obey your rules? 00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:05.259 If that's not something that you and your parents 00:20:05.259 --> 00:20:10.500 have talked about, and if they don't know, that's 00:20:10.500 --> 00:20:14.519 not a good situation. Grandma and Grandpa should 00:20:14.519 --> 00:20:18.339 know. They trust us enough to care for this child, 00:20:18.539 --> 00:20:20.740 and we're going to care for him just like he's 00:20:20.740 --> 00:20:23.660 ours. Same way we cared for you, we're going 00:20:23.660 --> 00:20:27.319 to care for this grandchild. So there should 00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:30.400 be that. Type of expectation. That you are going 00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:32.480 to care for that child. As if he's your own. 00:20:32.859 --> 00:20:39.339 In love. And discipline. When necessary. Because 00:20:39.339 --> 00:20:44.960 discipline is love. So. Again that teaches our 00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.980 children. To obey all those in authority. And 00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:50.180 you put them in their authority. And they should 00:20:50.180 --> 00:20:56.180 obey. Alright. The other part of this here is. 00:20:56.380 --> 00:20:59.319 He says here. What's the next thing that he says? 00:21:00.140 --> 00:21:04.799 He quotes here. Honor your father and mother. 00:21:10.980 --> 00:21:16.099 What does that mean? What does this word honor 00:21:16.099 --> 00:21:21.539 mean? Honor is to love, to regard highly, to 00:21:21.539 --> 00:21:25.000 show a spirit of respect and consideration. It 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:34.619 also has to do with reverence. And so it is different 00:21:34.619 --> 00:21:40.920 than obedience. And when I think of honoring 00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:43.559 my father and mother, again, this is something 00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:48.539 that hopefully begins as they grow older, while 00:21:48.539 --> 00:21:51.299 they're in the home. But this is something that 00:21:51.299 --> 00:21:57.039 continues on for the rest of your life. You should 00:21:57.039 --> 00:22:00.420 be honoring your father and mother. So all of 00:22:00.420 --> 00:22:04.220 us are children. Some of us don't have our parents 00:22:04.220 --> 00:22:07.880 with us anymore. But even though I'm outside 00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:11.019 of my father's authority, I am no longer in his 00:22:11.019 --> 00:22:13.640 home, and I have my own family and all of that, 00:22:13.799 --> 00:22:17.740 I am still expected, God still expects me to 00:22:17.740 --> 00:22:21.400 honor my father and mother, to respect them, 00:22:21.539 --> 00:22:32.200 to love them. It's a difficult thing when they're 00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:35.880 unbelievers. And so I want to say a few words 00:22:35.880 --> 00:22:39.140 about that. It doesn't mean that we no longer 00:22:39.140 --> 00:22:41.940 have to honor our parents if our parents are 00:22:41.940 --> 00:22:45.400 unbelievers. But it is a different relationship 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:49.799 there. There still is a need to honor them. And 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:52.420 as we honor them, as we show them respect and 00:22:52.420 --> 00:22:55.420 love and so on, Hopefully, we are showing them 00:22:55.420 --> 00:22:58.680 the love of Christ, how Christ has loved us. 00:22:58.779 --> 00:23:01.099 And we're loving you because Christ loves us. 00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:04.759 Christ commands us to love you and to honor you, 00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:08.599 to show you respect. It is a different relationship, 00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:11.160 though. I'm not going to go to an unconverted 00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:14.539 parent and ask for biblical godly counsel, right? 00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:19.640 That would be silly. That doesn't mean I can't 00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:22.430 go to them and ask counsel, right? I remember 00:23:22.430 --> 00:23:24.789 Bob Jennings talking about his dad, that his 00:23:24.789 --> 00:23:27.369 dad was an unbeliever, but he could go to him 00:23:27.369 --> 00:23:31.190 and he could ask him counsel. And he did. Bob 00:23:31.190 --> 00:23:33.329 said he had some good counsel for him when he 00:23:33.329 --> 00:23:36.089 went to him. Again, it was, I forget what exactly 00:23:36.089 --> 00:23:38.750 it was that Bob had been talking about, but he 00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:40.430 went to his dad and said, what do you think about 00:23:40.430 --> 00:23:43.250 this? And his dad gave him good counsel. Again, 00:23:43.269 --> 00:23:45.230 his dad loved him. He wanted what was best for 00:23:45.230 --> 00:23:48.269 him. And he gave him good advice, good counsel. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:51.380 And so we can still show our parents honor and 00:23:51.380 --> 00:23:53.660 respect in that way, even if they are unconverted. 00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:01.299 It's just not as easy, necessarily. And you have 00:24:01.299 --> 00:24:05.619 to weigh it a little bit more. But we can show 00:24:05.619 --> 00:24:08.180 in that way, and it's a good thing. It's a good 00:24:08.180 --> 00:24:14.480 thing to show honor in that way. So honor our 00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:18.779 mother and father throughout our lives. What 00:24:18.779 --> 00:24:21.880 are a couple of ways here that I wrote down how 00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:26.380 we can do this, how we can honor them? By listening 00:24:26.380 --> 00:24:32.039 to them and hearing them. Surely, we've all experienced 00:24:32.039 --> 00:24:35.980 mom and dad saying things as we've had conversations, 00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:43.079 giving their opinion. Listen to them. Hear what 00:24:43.079 --> 00:24:46.180 they have to say. Don't be dismissive of them. 00:24:46.670 --> 00:24:48.589 Oh, you've got nothing to say. You're an old 00:24:48.589 --> 00:24:51.930 fuddy -duddy. You're living back in the Stone 00:24:51.930 --> 00:24:57.710 Age. Or whatever. Don't be dismissive. Listen. 00:24:58.049 --> 00:25:04.410 Hear. Consider what they've got to say. That's 00:25:04.410 --> 00:25:10.220 honoring them. Showing respect in that way. Asking 00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:12.420 for counsel. That's another way that we show 00:25:12.420 --> 00:25:15.279 honor and respect for our parents. Asking counsel. 00:25:15.420 --> 00:25:17.940 Asking what they think about a certain decision 00:25:17.940 --> 00:25:22.859 we're trying to make. So on. That's a way that 00:25:22.859 --> 00:25:25.240 we can show honor and respect. That we can show 00:25:25.240 --> 00:25:27.519 them that we care for them and we value them. 00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:33.099 I already mentioned unconverted people there. 00:25:34.900 --> 00:25:42.430 Having an attitude of respect. That's important. 00:25:42.650 --> 00:25:45.509 That's vital. If you're going to honor your mother 00:25:45.509 --> 00:25:48.549 and father, you have got to show an attitude 00:25:48.549 --> 00:25:51.589 of respect. You must have an attitude of respect 00:25:51.589 --> 00:25:57.869 for them. How about even thankfulness towards 00:25:57.869 --> 00:26:01.809 them for all that they've done for you? Your 00:26:01.809 --> 00:26:05.950 whole upbringing. The love, the care, the concern 00:26:05.950 --> 00:26:12.630 that they've showed you. your father and mother 00:26:12.630 --> 00:26:17.670 also involves not holding a grudge against ways 00:26:17.670 --> 00:26:21.789 that they failed you. I know that I have failed 00:26:21.789 --> 00:26:25.190 my children. I know that I have not been a perfect 00:26:25.190 --> 00:26:28.769 father. I know that my father was not perfect. 00:26:29.950 --> 00:26:32.910 But I have forgiven him for all of those things. 00:26:32.990 --> 00:26:35.849 I know that he didn't do anything out of malice 00:26:35.849 --> 00:26:40.329 or anything else. I know he loved me. He cared 00:26:40.329 --> 00:26:43.920 for me. provided for me, all of those things. 00:26:44.420 --> 00:26:47.660 And so to hold on to any grudge, any bitterness, 00:26:47.960 --> 00:26:52.039 is not showing honor and love for your parents. 00:26:52.420 --> 00:26:56.779 So forgiving them, moving on, honoring them in 00:26:56.779 --> 00:27:04.079 that way. Thinking and assuming the best of them. 00:27:08.519 --> 00:27:10.279 I guess the flip side of that would be not being 00:27:10.279 --> 00:27:13.099 degrading and looking down upon them. So these 00:27:13.099 --> 00:27:15.500 are a few ways where we can honor our parents, 00:27:15.640 --> 00:27:19.819 where we can show them love and respect in a 00:27:19.819 --> 00:27:31.119 way that is honoring unto the Lord. I think this 00:27:31.119 --> 00:27:36.000 honoring also includes physical help for our 00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:42.279 parents. If you remember, we read this a few 00:27:42.279 --> 00:27:47.460 weeks ago, but in Timothy here, 1 Timothy 5, 00:27:47.700 --> 00:27:54.259 5 -3, it's the same word. It says, Honor widows 00:27:54.259 --> 00:27:58.299 who are widows indeed. And then he goes on to 00:27:58.299 --> 00:28:03.460 talk about widows. And the honor there has to 00:28:03.460 --> 00:28:06.299 do with caring for them physically, taking care 00:28:06.299 --> 00:28:08.660 of them. And it's that same word that's used 00:28:08.660 --> 00:28:11.279 here. It includes that. And so I think there's 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:16.799 also a responsibility in that regard in honoring 00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:22.700 our parents. Another passage here is in Mark 00:28:22.700 --> 00:28:35.109 that I wanted to read here. Mark 7, 9. So Jesus 00:28:35.109 --> 00:28:38.269 here is rebuking the Pharisees. He says in 6 00:28:38.269 --> 00:28:40.970 and 7, They honor me with their lips, but their 00:28:40.970 --> 00:28:44.910 heart is far from me. He calls them hypocrites 00:28:44.910 --> 00:28:48.029 earlier. But in vain do they worship me, teaching 00:28:48.029 --> 00:28:50.650 as doctrines the precepts of men, neglecting 00:28:50.650 --> 00:28:52.829 the commandments of God you hold to the traditions 00:28:52.829 --> 00:28:56.569 of men. Then he says, You are experts at setting 00:28:56.569 --> 00:28:58.710 aside the commandment of God in order to keep 00:28:58.710 --> 00:29:01.900 your tradition. For Moses said, honor your father 00:29:01.900 --> 00:29:04.380 and your mother, and he who speaks evil of father 00:29:04.380 --> 00:29:06.720 or mother is to be put to death. But you say, 00:29:06.859 --> 00:29:09.920 if a man says to his father or his mother, whatever 00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:13.579 I have that would help you is corbel. That is 00:29:13.579 --> 00:29:16.140 to say, given to God, you no longer permit him 00:29:16.140 --> 00:29:18.519 to do anything for his father and his mother, 00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:21.920 thus invalidating the word of God by your traditions, 00:29:22.019 --> 00:29:25.079 which you have handed down, and you do many things 00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:28.259 such as that. And so Jesus is telling them. Moses 00:29:28.259 --> 00:29:31.380 said, honor your father and mother. And part 00:29:31.380 --> 00:29:34.539 of that is caring for them. But the Pharisees 00:29:34.539 --> 00:29:37.660 said, if you make this vow that all that you 00:29:37.660 --> 00:29:40.480 have is given to God, then you no longer have 00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:42.240 to help your parents. You don't have to give 00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:45.019 it to God, but it's given to God. I'm going to 00:29:45.019 --> 00:29:48.819 keep it and give it to God. But again, both sides 00:29:48.819 --> 00:29:51.420 could be there, that you would give it to God 00:29:51.420 --> 00:29:52.839 and then you didn't have to help your parents. 00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:55.420 Or you could say it's devoted to God, and then 00:29:55.420 --> 00:29:56.920 you didn't have to give it to your parents, but 00:29:56.920 --> 00:30:00.099 you could use it however. And so Jesus there 00:30:00.099 --> 00:30:04.259 is saying, you totally dishonor God by neglecting 00:30:04.259 --> 00:30:06.319 his commandments to honor your father and your 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:10.220 mother. So there again, there seems to be, clearly 00:30:10.220 --> 00:30:14.779 from Jesus' standpoint, a responsibility on the 00:30:14.779 --> 00:30:16.720 part of children to care for their father and 00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:19.559 mother. That is one way that we honor them. As 00:30:19.559 --> 00:30:22.910 they grow older, as they need help, maybe it's 00:30:22.910 --> 00:30:26.269 financial, work around the house, whatever it 00:30:26.269 --> 00:30:31.150 is, we have a responsibility to honor them and 00:30:31.150 --> 00:30:35.450 to help them in those ways. And so that is part 00:30:35.450 --> 00:30:39.230 of this honoring our father and mother is making 00:30:39.230 --> 00:30:42.450 sure that they are cared for, making sure that 00:30:42.450 --> 00:30:56.259 their needs are met. All right. want to encourage 00:30:56.259 --> 00:31:01.460 all of you children that are still at home to 00:31:01.460 --> 00:31:09.079 be content where you are. Don't be desiring to 00:31:09.079 --> 00:31:11.759 just get out there, to be on your own, to do 00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:15.000 your own thing. Be content where the Lord has 00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:18.559 put you. Be content under the authority of your 00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:23.079 parents. It's a safe place. It's a good place. 00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:28.180 It's a place of love and care. And part of the 00:31:28.180 --> 00:31:30.500 Christian life is a life of contentment. So if 00:31:30.500 --> 00:31:33.819 you're a believer and you're at home, be content. 00:31:35.180 --> 00:31:40.000 Don't be just chomping at the bit to get out 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.680 and be on your own. Obviously, if the Lord leads, 00:31:44.940 --> 00:31:49.160 so be it. But don't just desire to get out just 00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:52.880 to get out. Be content where the Lord has you. 00:31:53.299 --> 00:31:56.539 If you're unconverted, there's no better place 00:31:56.539 --> 00:31:59.839 than the safety of your home, where you have 00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:02.980 rules, where you have responsibility, where mom 00:32:02.980 --> 00:32:07.240 and dad love you, where you're cared for. It's 00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:10.039 a good place to be. It's a safe place to be. 00:32:10.759 --> 00:32:15.480 It's a God -ordained place to be. So be content 00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:23.309 there. And then along these same lines, I was 00:32:23.309 --> 00:32:28.869 thinking of singleness. So children grow up. 00:32:29.490 --> 00:32:31.369 Maybe they're still home and they're single. 00:32:31.430 --> 00:32:35.190 Maybe they move out finally. Maybe not finally, 00:32:35.289 --> 00:32:37.950 but they move out, you know, whatever. Maybe 00:32:37.950 --> 00:32:40.309 they go to college. Maybe they just, you know, 00:32:40.329 --> 00:32:43.269 think it's time to have a place of their own 00:32:43.269 --> 00:32:53.819 and so be it. A bad place to be single. Alright, 00:32:53.900 --> 00:32:56.140 and so I want to encourage all of you who are 00:32:56.140 --> 00:32:59.339 single to be content where the Lord has you. 00:32:59.500 --> 00:33:03.279 That that is also a good place to be. There's 00:33:03.279 --> 00:33:07.500 nothing wrong with it. I also want to encourage 00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:12.519 you to use that as Paul said. 1 Corinthians 7. 00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:31.420 Should we read it? 1 Corinthians 7. But I want 00:33:31.420 --> 00:33:34.900 you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried 00:33:34.900 --> 00:33:37.079 is concerned about the things of the Lord, how 00:33:37.079 --> 00:33:39.859 he may please the Lord. But one who is married 00:33:39.859 --> 00:33:41.940 is concerned about the things of the world, how 00:33:41.940 --> 00:33:44.660 he may please his wife, and his interests are 00:33:44.660 --> 00:33:47.630 divided. The woman who is unmarried and the virgin 00:33:47.630 --> 00:33:49.869 is concerned about the things of the Lord, that 00:33:49.869 --> 00:33:53.109 she may be holy both in body and spirit. But 00:33:53.109 --> 00:33:55.470 one who is married is concerned about the things 00:33:55.470 --> 00:33:57.670 of the world, how she may please her husband. 00:33:58.430 --> 00:34:01.789 It goes on then. What is Paul's point in all 00:34:01.789 --> 00:34:06.930 of that? Neither one is fine. But he says, use 00:34:06.930 --> 00:34:09.829 your singleness for good. Use your singleness 00:34:09.829 --> 00:34:13.469 to serve the Lord. Devote yourself to the Lord. 00:34:14.730 --> 00:34:17.769 While you're able to. Because there will come 00:34:17.769 --> 00:34:21.090 a time where you won't have that type of freedom. 00:34:21.250 --> 00:34:23.889 You won't be able to do what you're able to do 00:34:23.889 --> 00:34:27.130 as a single person. And so be content where the 00:34:27.130 --> 00:34:32.710 Lord has you and pursue Him. Minister to the 00:34:32.710 --> 00:34:36.929 church. Minister to the needs of the needy. Minister 00:34:36.929 --> 00:34:42.349 to the lost. Be able to devote more of your time 00:34:42.349 --> 00:34:45.869 in the Word and in prayer. And so I just want 00:34:45.869 --> 00:34:48.389 to encourage you to be content. That doesn't 00:34:48.389 --> 00:34:50.829 mean you can't pray for a spouse and desire a 00:34:50.829 --> 00:34:53.690 spouse and ask the Lord to bring you a spouse. 00:34:54.369 --> 00:34:58.610 But use this time for good in your own life and 00:34:58.610 --> 00:35:02.449 to minister to the church and also in preparation 00:35:02.449 --> 00:35:07.170 for a wife or a husband. That you would be ready 00:35:07.170 --> 00:35:09.449 when the time comes when the Lord would give 00:35:09.449 --> 00:35:16.699 a spouse to you. Maybe I don't know if I need 00:35:16.699 --> 00:35:20.179 to say this or not, but I will. Singleness is 00:35:20.179 --> 00:35:25.079 not a lesser thing than the married couples. 00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:27.679 So it's not like you have this hierarchy of, 00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:30.719 you know, the married couples are really godly 00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:33.159 folks. And then you got these singles down here 00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:35.599 that never really figured it out. And the Lord 00:35:35.599 --> 00:35:40.099 hasn't blessed or any of that nonsense. We all 00:35:40.099 --> 00:35:44.929 are valuable to the church, to one another. to 00:35:44.929 --> 00:35:47.789 the body, and obviously in the eyes of the Lord. 00:35:47.889 --> 00:35:51.550 And so singleness is not a lesser calling than 00:35:51.550 --> 00:35:57.090 marriage. I mean, you can look throughout church 00:35:57.090 --> 00:36:00.929 history. I was just thinking about it. The Lord 00:36:00.929 --> 00:36:08.570 has used single people abundantly. I was reminded 00:36:08.570 --> 00:36:11.210 of Gladys Aylward and all of the work that she 00:36:11.210 --> 00:36:16.079 did in China. I'm reading about Amy Carmichael 00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:21.719 and all that she did in India. I've already mentioned 00:36:21.719 --> 00:36:25.440 him, but Bruce Olson, he was planned on being 00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:28.739 married at one point, but his fiance died, but 00:36:28.739 --> 00:36:32.800 he never was married and was used mightily by 00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:36.500 God there in South America. And so singleness 00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:40.190 is not this lesser. lesser thing where you can't 00:36:40.190 --> 00:36:42.610 be used by God and you can't minister to the 00:36:42.610 --> 00:36:45.150 church and all of these other things. It's a 00:36:45.150 --> 00:36:51.010 great blessing as the Lord has given it to you. 00:36:51.070 --> 00:36:54.909 So use it and be encouraged in it. Be content 00:36:54.909 --> 00:36:57.949 in it and wait on the Lord if you desire a spouse. 00:36:58.190 --> 00:37:01.670 But use your time wisely. Use your time for good. 00:37:02.289 --> 00:37:05.130 For you really young people who are still single, 00:37:05.269 --> 00:37:10.349 use this time for growth. For maturity. Develop 00:37:10.349 --> 00:37:15.789 good habits. Good responsible habits. Develop 00:37:15.789 --> 00:37:19.969 a hard work ethic. Develop patterns now. That 00:37:19.969 --> 00:37:23.429 will pay dividends when you do get married. Or 00:37:23.429 --> 00:37:26.949 if you do get married. But will also be beneficial 00:37:26.949 --> 00:37:31.250 just in life. And so use your singleness now 00:37:31.250 --> 00:37:35.130 for good. Be content where the Lord has you. 00:37:35.849 --> 00:37:40.110 And minister to the church. To your family. To 00:37:40.110 --> 00:37:42.610 the community. However the Lord would burden 00:37:42.610 --> 00:38:03.250 you. In that way. Well I guess that's it. That's 00:38:03.250 --> 00:38:03.690 all I've got.