WEBVTT 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.779 I thought this morning that I would do kind of 00:00:03.779 --> 00:00:12.580 a recap of where we've been. And the reason for 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:20.339 that is because it is essential that you all 00:00:20.339 --> 00:00:23.379 understand where we've been, what we've talked 00:00:23.379 --> 00:00:29.839 about. So we began in the beginning with a look 00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:33.770 at The family. We looked at Genesis. And so I 00:00:33.770 --> 00:00:37.630 want to read this morning as we go through this 00:00:37.630 --> 00:00:41.450 time. I've mentioned all these verses before. 00:00:41.570 --> 00:00:45.670 I went through my notes. And I don't think there's 00:00:45.670 --> 00:00:47.570 any new verses that we're going to look at this 00:00:47.570 --> 00:00:51.130 morning. So you've heard all of these things 00:00:51.130 --> 00:00:55.549 before. But I want them to be, again, put in 00:00:55.549 --> 00:00:57.909 your minds that these are not just some ideas 00:00:57.909 --> 00:01:02.600 that I have. that I think we're good, that, man, 00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:05.060 if we could just implement these ideas that I 00:01:05.060 --> 00:01:07.459 have, boy, we'd be doing well. But that's not 00:01:07.459 --> 00:01:11.420 it, right? The idea is these are instructions 00:01:11.420 --> 00:01:14.640 from the Lord. These are the principles that 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.140 he's given us, and they're in the Word. They're 00:01:18.140 --> 00:01:21.319 not my ideas. So we began in the very beginning 00:01:21.319 --> 00:01:24.959 there. We looked in Genesis. I'm going to read 00:01:24.959 --> 00:01:26.700 them, so you don't have to turn. If you just 00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:29.459 want to listen, that'd be great. So in Genesis 00:01:29.459 --> 00:01:33.000 chapter 2, verse 18, it says, Then the Lord God 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:35.540 said, It is not good for the man to be alone. 00:01:40.439 --> 00:01:45.120 I will make him a helper suitable for him. Out 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:47.239 of the ground the Lord God formed every beast 00:01:47.239 --> 00:01:49.560 of the field and every bird of the sky and brought 00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:51.640 them to the man to see what he would call them. 00:01:52.299 --> 00:01:54.480 And whatever the man called the living creature, 00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:58.120 that was its name. The man gave names to all 00:01:58.120 --> 00:02:00.340 the cattle, to the birds of the sky, and to every 00:02:00.340 --> 00:02:02.680 beast of the field, but for Adam there was not 00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:06.340 found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord 00:02:06.340 --> 00:02:09.840 God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, 00:02:09.960 --> 00:02:13.560 and he slept. Then he took one of his ribs and 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:15.840 closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:20.840 fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken 00:02:20.840 --> 00:02:23.740 from the man and brought her to the man. The 00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:26.180 man said, This is now bone of my bone and flesh 00:02:26.180 --> 00:02:28.780 of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because 00:02:28.780 --> 00:02:32.159 she was taken out of man. And for this reason 00:02:32.159 --> 00:02:34.379 a man shall leave his father and mother and be 00:02:34.379 --> 00:02:36.539 joined to his wife, and they shall become one 00:02:36.539 --> 00:02:39.840 flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:44.500 and were not ashamed. So we see there just the 00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:47.060 establishment there of this family in the very 00:02:47.060 --> 00:02:55.960 beginning. Paul then. We'll read it again. Paul 00:02:55.960 --> 00:02:59.400 brings it up. He affirms these same things. You 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:03.340 know this is nothing. Nothing has changed. From 00:03:03.340 --> 00:03:08.139 the very beginning there. To Paul's day. Paul 00:03:08.139 --> 00:03:12.259 saying. This is still true. So in Ephesians 5. 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:19.219 He's giving instruction. He says. Wives be subject 00:03:19.219 --> 00:03:21.620 to your husbands. As to the Lord. For the husband 00:03:21.620 --> 00:03:24.259 is the head of the wife. As Christ is the head 00:03:24.259 --> 00:03:26.460 of the church, he himself being the Savior of 00:03:26.460 --> 00:03:29.319 the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, 00:03:29.419 --> 00:03:31.659 so also the wives ought to be to their husbands 00:03:31.659 --> 00:03:34.759 and everything. Husbands, love your wives just 00:03:34.759 --> 00:03:37.020 as Christ loved the church and gave himself up 00:03:37.020 --> 00:03:39.740 for her, so that he might sanctify her, having 00:03:39.740 --> 00:03:41.979 cleansed her by the washing of water with the 00:03:41.979 --> 00:03:45.099 word, that he might present to himself the church 00:03:45.099 --> 00:03:47.919 in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or 00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:50.900 any such thing, but that she would be holy and 00:03:50.900 --> 00:03:53.629 blameless. So husbands ought also to love their 00:03:53.629 --> 00:03:56.750 own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his 00:03:56.750 --> 00:03:59.909 own wife loves himself. For no one ever hated 00:03:59.909 --> 00:04:02.409 his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, 00:04:02.490 --> 00:04:05.629 just as Christ also does the church, because 00:04:05.629 --> 00:04:08.789 we are members of his body. For this reason a 00:04:08.789 --> 00:04:10.610 man shall leave his father and mother, and shall 00:04:10.610 --> 00:04:12.689 be joined to his wife, and the two shall become 00:04:12.689 --> 00:04:16.410 one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking 00:04:16.410 --> 00:04:19.850 with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, 00:04:19.990 --> 00:04:22.410 each individual among you also is to love his 00:04:22.410 --> 00:04:24.730 own wife, even as himself, and the wife must 00:04:24.730 --> 00:04:29.529 see to it that she respects her husband. So Paul 00:04:29.529 --> 00:04:32.370 there refers back to Genesis when he's giving 00:04:32.370 --> 00:04:35.529 instruction here for husbands and wives, saying 00:04:35.529 --> 00:04:37.670 this is how it was back then, this is how it 00:04:37.670 --> 00:04:44.410 is today. It hasn't changed. I want us to understand, 00:04:44.610 --> 00:04:49.120 and I've said this, i've said this before we're 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:53.500 not talking here about lesser people husbands 00:04:53.500 --> 00:04:56.220 and wives there's not there's not you know the 00:04:56.220 --> 00:04:58.560 husband is the authority he's the head he was 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:01.699 created first and then you've got this subservient 00:05:01.699 --> 00:05:05.100 woman who was just brought along no the lord 00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:10.680 god created woman for what purpose because man 00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:14.079 needed something he needed a helper and we've 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:17.949 we've said this before So when we deal with leadership, 00:05:18.189 --> 00:05:20.990 when we deal with authority in the home, when 00:05:20.990 --> 00:05:23.449 we say that there's an authoritative structure 00:05:23.449 --> 00:05:26.170 in the home, that the man is the head of the 00:05:26.170 --> 00:05:31.850 home, that he is the leader, it's not that the 00:05:31.850 --> 00:05:37.110 wife is lesser, right? She's not less than. She 00:05:37.110 --> 00:05:40.490 was designed and created for a specific purpose, 00:05:40.569 --> 00:05:44.379 just as the man was. And when we fulfill the 00:05:44.379 --> 00:05:47.879 roles that God has put us in, we're content, 00:05:48.199 --> 00:05:53.779 we're blessed, we're happy, and we glorify God 00:05:53.779 --> 00:05:56.980 in those things. So make sure we understand that. 00:05:57.040 --> 00:05:59.279 So when we go through here and review these things, 00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:01.600 when we think about these things, we're not talking 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:06.939 lesser, woman lesser than man. No, that's not 00:06:06.939 --> 00:06:12.160 it at all. We're talking equality, both. Created 00:06:12.160 --> 00:06:14.819 in the image of God, right? That's what Genesis 00:06:14.819 --> 00:06:19.980 tells us. So, I want to stress, however, the 00:06:19.980 --> 00:06:23.300 importance here of this authority structure. 00:06:25.620 --> 00:06:29.139 I think I have. And so maybe you think I'm just 00:06:29.139 --> 00:06:32.839 beating a dead horse. And that's fine. Hear me 00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:38.040 once more then. It is imperative that we understand 00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:43.629 this as men. We are to be the authority in our 00:06:43.629 --> 00:06:48.709 homes. We are leaders. We are the heads of our 00:06:48.709 --> 00:06:51.689 homes, just as Christ is the head of the church. 00:06:52.089 --> 00:06:58.149 We are the head. I didn't say it. God said it. 00:07:00.129 --> 00:07:03.850 We need to accept that. We need to put that into 00:07:03.850 --> 00:07:06.970 practice. Why is it so important? Do you guys 00:07:06.970 --> 00:07:11.259 understand how messed up, the world is today 00:07:11.259 --> 00:07:15.540 because of this one fact. If this was the only 00:07:15.540 --> 00:07:18.500 issue we had in the world, the world would be 00:07:18.500 --> 00:07:25.939 a lot like it is today. You men, you young men, 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:30.060 you young married men, and you young men who 00:07:30.060 --> 00:07:33.379 are not married yet, and you older men, this 00:07:33.379 --> 00:07:38.459 applies to each and every one of us. When we 00:07:38.459 --> 00:07:43.540 fail to lead our homes, when we fail to be the 00:07:43.540 --> 00:07:48.420 authority in our homes, it brings nothing but 00:07:48.420 --> 00:07:54.740 catastrophe. You may think, you know, everything's 00:07:54.740 --> 00:07:59.439 fine. We're getting along. You know, yeah, maybe 00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:01.259 I'm not leading in the way that I should, but 00:08:01.259 --> 00:08:03.779 things are good. We have a good relationship. 00:08:06.279 --> 00:08:09.899 Maybe so right now. Maybe so. But what's the 00:08:09.899 --> 00:08:13.259 effect going to be upon your children? What's 00:08:13.259 --> 00:08:15.740 the effect going to be upon your marriage as 00:08:15.740 --> 00:08:19.139 you progress? I don't say these things because 00:08:19.139 --> 00:08:24.019 I'm just thinking it could be bad. I know countless 00:08:24.019 --> 00:08:29.319 marriages where the man refused to leave and 00:08:29.319 --> 00:08:34.840 their lives were in shambles. They're still married 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:37.299 and they're going on, but they're not happy. 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.639 Their children are confused. Their children, 00:08:40.820 --> 00:08:45.259 the boys then that are raised up into men, they're 00:08:45.259 --> 00:08:47.960 not really men. They're following their wives 00:08:47.960 --> 00:08:51.779 now because they've not had an example of a godly 00:08:51.779 --> 00:08:55.100 man leading his home. Mom always made the decisions. 00:08:55.659 --> 00:08:58.440 And now you have the same thing going on in their 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:03.039 homes. You men are to set an example. Of this 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:10.179 in your homes. Leading. Being an authority. It's 00:09:10.179 --> 00:09:15.919 imperative. It is imperative. One way. That I'm 00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:19.120 always reminded. Again. A number of folks that 00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:24.659 I know. This isn't always the case. And so. I 00:09:24.659 --> 00:09:26.620 hope we all understand. There's exceptions to 00:09:26.620 --> 00:09:29.870 everything. We all understand that. as far as 00:09:29.870 --> 00:09:32.149 personalities and things. But generally speaking, 00:09:32.450 --> 00:09:35.929 wives are more emotional than their husbands. 00:09:36.350 --> 00:09:39.889 That's just the way it is. Again, it may not 00:09:39.889 --> 00:09:43.049 always be that way with every single relationship, 00:09:43.230 --> 00:09:48.230 but in general, that is how it is. How many times 00:09:48.230 --> 00:09:52.929 do we see, have I seen in a relationship, the 00:09:52.929 --> 00:09:58.730 wife leading, and how is she leading? Based on 00:09:58.730 --> 00:10:02.570 her emotions. Everything is a huge ordeal because 00:10:02.570 --> 00:10:06.789 her emotions are not in check. It's constant 00:10:06.789 --> 00:10:10.149 turmoil. And the husband just stands idly by 00:10:10.149 --> 00:10:12.029 like, there's nothing I can do about it. What 00:10:12.029 --> 00:10:14.889 am I supposed to do? This is just how it is. 00:10:15.889 --> 00:10:18.809 They're children. There's no stability there. 00:10:19.549 --> 00:10:25.379 It's a dreadful situation. I want to stress that 00:10:25.379 --> 00:10:28.539 it may be fine now. You may think our relationship 00:10:28.539 --> 00:10:32.679 is good as things are. It will not always be 00:10:32.679 --> 00:10:38.419 that way. So you have that, right? We don't want 00:10:38.419 --> 00:10:41.759 that. But more importantly than that, what else 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:48.200 can we say? You're in sin. Right? That's the 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:53.840 real issue. You have... Said God's way is okay 00:10:53.840 --> 00:10:57.539 and good for some. But I know better in my own 00:10:57.539 --> 00:11:01.539 life. And this is how it's going to be. You have 00:11:01.539 --> 00:11:05.620 set yourself up as the authority. Rather than 00:11:05.620 --> 00:11:10.120 God and his word. And you're in sin. That's the 00:11:10.120 --> 00:11:15.700 major issue. Not only are you sinning against 00:11:15.700 --> 00:11:17.820 God. You're sinning against your wife. You're 00:11:17.820 --> 00:11:19.659 sinning against your children. You're sinning. 00:11:20.190 --> 00:11:22.870 Against all around you. As you set this terrible 00:11:22.870 --> 00:11:26.009 example of what leadership is supposed to be. 00:11:26.889 --> 00:11:33.629 And so I'm trying to stress to you men. The importance 00:11:33.629 --> 00:11:37.370 of this. This is not my thought or my opinion. 00:11:37.950 --> 00:11:43.929 This is God's clear instruction for you. To be 00:11:43.929 --> 00:11:54.289 leaders in your home. This is love. Do you want 00:11:54.289 --> 00:11:57.490 to love your wife? Then you better lead her. 00:12:01.250 --> 00:12:06.250 That's all there is to it. If you love, you will 00:12:06.250 --> 00:12:12.710 lead. You will lead in love. We're not talking 00:12:12.710 --> 00:12:16.529 here about authority or love. One or the other. 00:12:16.590 --> 00:12:21.990 No. It is love to lead in your home. That is 00:12:21.990 --> 00:12:24.509 the most loving thing you can do for your wife. 00:12:31.429 --> 00:12:34.470 The other thing that I want to stress once more 00:12:34.470 --> 00:12:37.330 is the impact of the family upon the church. 00:12:38.250 --> 00:12:40.769 I mentioned this when we talked about family. 00:12:41.710 --> 00:12:44.809 As the family goes, so goes the church, so goes 00:12:44.809 --> 00:12:47.250 society. I think I said something along those 00:12:47.250 --> 00:12:51.370 lines. You set an example in your home of leadership 00:12:51.370 --> 00:12:58.269 and submission. That plays out in the church. 00:12:59.309 --> 00:13:04.769 That plays out in the church. If there's no submission 00:13:04.769 --> 00:13:07.070 in the home, why do we think there's going to 00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:12.250 be any type of submission in the church? Why 00:13:12.250 --> 00:13:16.100 would we think that? It's illogical and it's 00:13:16.100 --> 00:13:20.220 unreasonable. And so that's how it plays out 00:13:20.220 --> 00:13:24.620 in the church. Problems in the church often are 00:13:24.620 --> 00:13:29.779 a result of problems in the home. A man is not 00:13:29.779 --> 00:13:33.019 led properly. And again, I've seen this time 00:13:33.019 --> 00:13:36.019 and again. The man is not led properly. He's 00:13:36.019 --> 00:13:38.639 been led by the wife. Next thing you know, there's 00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:43.519 all sorts of problems in the church. It is imperative 00:13:43.519 --> 00:13:46.340 for the health of the family and for the health 00:13:46.340 --> 00:13:51.779 of the church that men lead in their homes. Leading 00:13:51.779 --> 00:13:54.740 in love. Leading according to the word of God. 00:13:56.340 --> 00:14:01.960 Again, who is our example? Christ. Did Christ 00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:06.740 do anything mean to the bride? No, he saved the 00:14:06.740 --> 00:14:11.240 bride. He laid his life down for the bride. That's 00:14:11.240 --> 00:14:17.179 how we lead. Doing what is necessary, not necessarily 00:14:17.179 --> 00:14:21.799 what is fun, what is easy. Was it easy for Christ 00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:26.559 upon this earth? No, it was not. But He did what 00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:30.360 needed to be done in submission to His Father. 00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:36.379 Lead in your homes. It is imperative. We talked 00:14:36.379 --> 00:14:41.690 about biblical manhood. We talked about the results 00:14:41.690 --> 00:14:48.350 of the curse and the roles that men and women 00:14:48.350 --> 00:14:53.250 play, or that men and women have, that they are 00:14:53.250 --> 00:14:56.129 different. We talked about how Adam was cursed 00:14:56.129 --> 00:14:59.769 in his role. He was cursed in his work. Eve was 00:14:59.769 --> 00:15:03.610 cursed in her role of submission and childbearing. 00:15:04.309 --> 00:15:07.610 And so all that went on with that, again, if 00:15:07.610 --> 00:15:17.950 we could read that. In Genesis 3, 16 through 00:15:17.950 --> 00:15:23.429 19. To the woman he said, I will greatly multiply 00:15:23.429 --> 00:15:26.509 your pain and childbirth and pain. You will bring 00:15:26.509 --> 00:15:29.509 forth children, yet your desire will be for your 00:15:29.509 --> 00:15:32.669 husband and he will rule over you. Then to Adam 00:15:32.669 --> 00:15:34.629 he said, because you have listened to the voice 00:15:34.629 --> 00:15:36.950 of your wife and have eaten from the tree about 00:15:36.950 --> 00:15:39.559 which I commanded you, saying, You shall not 00:15:39.559 --> 00:15:41.860 eat from it. Cursed is the ground because of 00:15:41.860 --> 00:15:45.480 you. In toil you will eat of it all the day of 00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:47.799 your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall 00:15:47.799 --> 00:15:50.139 grow for you and you will eat plants of the field. 00:15:50.500 --> 00:15:52.779 By the sweat of your face you will eat bread 00:15:52.779 --> 00:15:55.600 till you return to the ground because from it 00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:59.019 you are taken. For you are dust and to dust you 00:15:59.019 --> 00:16:01.679 shall return. We didn't even mention the whole 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:04.360 issue right there, right? Of listening to the 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:06.740 voice of his wife rather than the voice of God. 00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:11.860 Catastrophe came afterwards. He didn't lead. 00:16:13.220 --> 00:16:17.740 And it's the same today. So, it's imperative. 00:16:18.059 --> 00:16:21.820 It's imperative. Men, be men. All those things 00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:24.799 that we talked about as far as what it is to 00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:28.100 be a godly man. Taking dominion, responsibility. 00:16:28.539 --> 00:16:35.809 All of those things are essential. The whole 00:16:35.809 --> 00:16:39.870 idea of leading your family, what was the first 00:16:39.870 --> 00:16:41.529 thing we said you've got to do if you're going 00:16:41.529 --> 00:16:43.070 to lead your family? If you're going to be a 00:16:43.070 --> 00:16:44.850 leader and authority in your home, what are you 00:16:44.850 --> 00:16:49.070 going to do? You've got to lead yourself. You 00:16:49.070 --> 00:16:52.629 have got to take care of yourself. You've got 00:16:52.629 --> 00:16:56.690 to be responsible. You've got to be in the word. 00:16:59.370 --> 00:17:02.610 You've got to be doing certain things. You need 00:17:02.610 --> 00:17:09.220 to be a man of God. I'll read this passage. 2 00:17:09.220 --> 00:17:18.440 Timothy 3 .16 I'm sure it's familiar. 2 Timothy 00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:22.180 3 .16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable 00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:24.960 for teaching, reproof, correction, and training 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:28.359 in righteousness, so the man of God may be adequate, 00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:32.079 equipped for every good work. You've got to be 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:37.369 in the Word. You've got to know the Word. It 00:17:37.369 --> 00:17:40.890 will equip you. It will correct you, instruct 00:17:40.890 --> 00:17:44.430 you, and lead you in the way that you should 00:17:44.430 --> 00:17:49.089 go. You've got to be that if you're going to 00:17:49.089 --> 00:17:54.329 be a man of God and a leader in your home. You've 00:17:54.329 --> 00:17:57.089 got to be faithful. You've got to be wise. You've 00:17:57.089 --> 00:17:59.630 got to be submitted to God, devoted to His Word. 00:17:59.690 --> 00:18:02.269 All of those things are necessary and essential 00:18:02.269 --> 00:18:10.140 as men. If we're to lead our homes. Husbands. 00:18:12.940 --> 00:18:17.160 We already read. Ephesians 5. 22 and 25. Again. 00:18:17.420 --> 00:18:21.299 Very clear instruction there. As the head. Another 00:18:21.299 --> 00:18:32.759 couple verses here. 1 Timothy 3. Again, I'm just 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:35.779 going to read these. These are instructions to 00:18:35.779 --> 00:18:40.180 elders and to deacons. 3, 4, 1 Timothy 3, 4. 00:18:40.259 --> 00:18:43.019 He must be one who manages his own household 00:18:43.019 --> 00:18:46.039 well, keeping his children under control with 00:18:46.039 --> 00:18:49.380 all dignity. But if he does not know how to manage 00:18:49.380 --> 00:18:51.440 his own house, how will he take care of the church? 00:18:52.420 --> 00:18:58.140 And then in verse 12, it's very similar. Deacons 00:18:58.140 --> 00:19:01.289 must be husbands of one wife. good managers of 00:19:01.289 --> 00:19:03.950 their children and their households. I bring 00:19:03.950 --> 00:19:07.089 those up to say, these aren't special things 00:19:07.089 --> 00:19:11.309 that only the elders and deacons are doing. The 00:19:11.309 --> 00:19:13.529 elders and deacons are doing these things, but 00:19:13.529 --> 00:19:15.509 everybody in the church should be doing them. 00:19:15.950 --> 00:19:20.069 If you're not, then you're not qualified. But 00:19:20.069 --> 00:19:22.930 this isn't just one thing here that the elders 00:19:22.930 --> 00:19:24.829 and deacons are doing, oh, they're managing their 00:19:24.829 --> 00:19:28.329 house well. No. Every man in the church ought 00:19:28.329 --> 00:19:33.890 to be doing it. So, again, it's imperative. It 00:19:33.890 --> 00:19:36.309 is important. We talked about leading as a prophet, 00:19:36.410 --> 00:19:38.230 priest, and king. We're going to give those booklets 00:19:38.230 --> 00:19:46.970 out from Joel Beeky on leading your home, leading 00:19:46.970 --> 00:19:50.589 in the home. We want you to read them. I think 00:19:50.589 --> 00:19:53.029 I should have brought them today. I meant to 00:19:53.029 --> 00:19:55.990 bring them. We will bring those and give them 00:19:55.990 --> 00:19:59.079 out. It's imperative that you read that. Again, 00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:02.519 glean some help and instruction from that book. 00:20:02.619 --> 00:20:08.660 It's very good. Husbands, leading your wives. 00:20:09.299 --> 00:20:11.940 Leading in the home. It's important. It's imperative. 00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:20.380 It is necessary. We did talk a little bit just 00:20:20.380 --> 00:20:24.400 about making decisions. So that's one way that 00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:28.349 we lead is we make these decisions, right? If 00:20:28.349 --> 00:20:30.170 you're going to lead in your home, you are going 00:20:30.170 --> 00:20:34.950 to begin the conversation on what needs to be 00:20:34.950 --> 00:20:38.190 done, how we're going to do it. And again, it's 00:20:38.190 --> 00:20:41.990 a conversation. It's not just, hey, this is what 00:20:41.990 --> 00:20:44.730 we're doing. It's, hey, honey, here's what I 00:20:44.730 --> 00:20:47.069 think we need to be doing. What do you think? 00:20:48.369 --> 00:20:51.650 Are you on board with this? Have you got a bit 00:20:51.650 --> 00:20:54.529 of wisdom in implementing this? What have you 00:20:54.529 --> 00:20:57.910 got to say here? and you are both in agreement, 00:20:58.089 --> 00:21:01.589 you help, and then what? You as the husband, 00:21:01.690 --> 00:21:04.890 moving forward, implementing those things. Or 00:21:04.890 --> 00:21:06.750 maybe she says, no, I don't want to do that. 00:21:06.869 --> 00:21:10.109 Then what do you do? Well, this is what we're 00:21:10.109 --> 00:21:14.269 doing. I am leading. This is important. This 00:21:14.269 --> 00:21:16.309 is what should be done. I think this is biblical. 00:21:16.849 --> 00:21:19.769 This is how we're going. We're moving forward. 00:21:21.069 --> 00:21:25.819 Leading. And wives, what is your responsibility 00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:30.900 then? To submit to that. As unto the Lord. Right? 00:21:31.380 --> 00:21:35.059 Is it easy? No. Maybe not. But that's what's 00:21:35.059 --> 00:21:39.940 necessary. So men, lead. Lead in decision making. 00:21:40.940 --> 00:21:47.740 Lead in your homes. Alright. We talked about 00:21:47.740 --> 00:21:55.059 fathers. Ephesians. Ephesians 6 .4 we mentioned. 00:21:57.180 --> 00:22:00.539 Just very briefly, I think. Just two weeks worth. 00:22:02.059 --> 00:22:09.640 Ephesians 6 .4 Fathers, do not provoke your children 00:22:09.640 --> 00:22:11.579 to anger, but bring them up in the discipline 00:22:11.579 --> 00:22:14.460 and instruction of the Lord. Okay, so we talked 00:22:14.460 --> 00:22:18.900 about this bring them up is to nurture them. 00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:20.839 I think if you've got the King James, I think 00:22:20.839 --> 00:22:24.200 it might say that. So bringing them up is this 00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:28.460 idea of nurturing. It's the same thing. Bringing 00:22:28.460 --> 00:22:32.799 them up to maturity in the discipline and instruction, 00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:36.799 the discipline, the whole training, the whole 00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:40.400 rearing of your children, everything from instruction 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:47.119 to correction, reproof, spanking, all that's 00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:51.000 included there. And so we talked about all that. 00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:59.019 But I want to emphasize once more here the importance 00:22:59.019 --> 00:23:06.720 of instruction. Alright? You fathers are to instruct 00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:11.880 your children. You are to teach them. And so 00:23:11.880 --> 00:23:14.940 I just ran through the Proverbs this morning. 00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:18.559 Was that this morning or yesterday? Either way. 00:23:19.980 --> 00:23:29.140 At some point. I just want to read a few verses 00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:34.200 here. Proverbs 1 .8 Hear my son your father's 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:37.019 instruction and do not forsake your mother's 00:23:37.019 --> 00:23:43.220 teaching. Are you giving instruction? Is your 00:23:43.220 --> 00:23:46.160 son able to hear what you're saying? Or are you 00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:53.299 silent? Are you silent in the home? Proverbs 00:23:53.299 --> 00:23:57.390 1 .8 Proverbs 1 .10 My son If sinners entice 00:23:57.390 --> 00:24:00.150 you, do not consent. He's instructing there, 00:24:00.230 --> 00:24:03.549 right? Don't go after these guys. Don't follow 00:24:03.549 --> 00:24:11.529 in their ways. Proverbs 2 .1 My son, if you will 00:24:11.529 --> 00:24:14.269 receive my words and treasure my commandments 00:24:14.269 --> 00:24:18.470 within you, make your ear attentive to wisdom, 00:24:18.569 --> 00:24:20.710 incline your heart to understanding, and so on. 00:24:20.750 --> 00:24:23.319 He goes on there. But what's he saying? If you 00:24:23.319 --> 00:24:27.160 will receive my words and my commandments. He's 00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:30.940 instructing him. He's teaching him. Here's what 00:24:30.940 --> 00:24:34.240 you should do. Here's what you should not do. 00:24:36.220 --> 00:24:40.720 3 .1. My son, do not forget my teaching, but 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:44.519 let your heart keep my commandment. Teaching. 00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:48.480 It's everywhere. It's constant. He's teaching 00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:53.910 here. It's imperative. It's constant. It's daily. 00:24:54.130 --> 00:24:57.150 It's in every situation that we mentioned that. 00:24:57.410 --> 00:25:02.990 There's always opportunity for instruction. Proverbs 00:25:02.990 --> 00:25:06.509 4 .1 Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father 00:25:06.509 --> 00:25:09.150 and give attention that you may gain understanding. 00:25:09.569 --> 00:25:13.569 For I give you sound teaching. Do not abandon 00:25:13.569 --> 00:25:19.430 my instruction. More instruction. You got the 00:25:19.430 --> 00:25:23.549 picture. One more I will read here. Proverbs 00:25:23.549 --> 00:25:27.670 5, 1. My son, give attention to my wisdom. Incline 00:25:27.670 --> 00:25:32.690 your ear to my understanding. Here's the question 00:25:32.690 --> 00:25:37.069 for you. You men, you young men in particular, 00:25:37.150 --> 00:25:48.900 do you have wisdom? I'm seriously asking. You 00:25:48.900 --> 00:25:50.859 don't have to answer out loud here. But I'm seriously 00:25:50.859 --> 00:25:55.880 asking the question. Are you wise? Do you have 00:25:55.880 --> 00:26:00.339 wisdom? Do you have wisdom to impart to your 00:26:00.339 --> 00:26:08.779 children? If you don't. You better get in the 00:26:08.779 --> 00:26:12.759 word. You better find some. Because you can't 00:26:12.759 --> 00:26:16.809 instruct. You can't command. You can't lead and 00:26:16.809 --> 00:26:20.710 guide if you don't have some. You've got to have 00:26:20.710 --> 00:26:24.970 wisdom, and you only find it in the Word. Get 00:26:24.970 --> 00:26:29.630 it. There's all sorts of encouragements to wisdom 00:26:29.630 --> 00:26:34.210 all throughout Proverbs. It's wonderful. It's 00:26:34.210 --> 00:26:38.829 to be had. James, if any man lack wisdom, what's 00:26:38.829 --> 00:26:47.519 he supposed to do? Ask. Ask. Ask, seek, knock, 00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:50.400 and it will be given unto you. That's the promise 00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:56.940 to believers. Okay? Seek it. Find it. Get it. 00:26:59.420 --> 00:27:03.700 So, instructing our children. Taking responsibility 00:27:03.700 --> 00:27:07.200 for every aspect of our children's development, 00:27:07.380 --> 00:27:10.720 we said. Physical, emotional, spiritual, social. 00:27:11.140 --> 00:27:13.400 All of those things are our responsibilities 00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:17.099 as fathers. And then we talked about relationship 00:27:17.099 --> 00:27:21.900 with our children. I don't think I said this. 00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:29.579 I found it in my notes the other day. But relationship 00:27:29.579 --> 00:27:32.420 with our children. We talked about God as our 00:27:32.420 --> 00:27:35.240 Father and our relationship with God. And that, 00:27:35.400 --> 00:27:38.339 again, is our example in our relationship with 00:27:38.339 --> 00:27:46.279 our children. What's the first relationship when 00:27:46.279 --> 00:27:51.599 you come together as a family? Apart from your 00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:53.519 relationship with God, it's your wife, right? 00:27:54.859 --> 00:27:57.380 If you are developing a relationship with your 00:27:57.380 --> 00:27:59.339 wife, it naturally comes that you're going to 00:27:59.339 --> 00:28:01.859 have a relationship with your children. Because 00:28:01.859 --> 00:28:03.839 all of those things you're doing with your wife, 00:28:04.059 --> 00:28:07.079 the time that you spend together, the talking, 00:28:07.319 --> 00:28:10.980 what happens? The games that you play? All of 00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:12.779 a sudden you've got this little rugrat running 00:28:12.779 --> 00:28:15.880 around there. What's he doing? He's sitting there 00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:18.599 listening to the conversations. He's sitting 00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:21.099 there while you're playing games. He's there 00:28:21.099 --> 00:28:24.440 when you're spending time together. And next 00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:26.160 thing you know, he's just part of it, right? 00:28:26.339 --> 00:28:29.099 He's just right there with you. You start playing 00:28:29.099 --> 00:28:31.940 these games that he can play. You're doing things 00:28:31.940 --> 00:28:35.380 that he enjoys as well. But he's also involved 00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:38.000 in all of it. And so it begins with your wife. 00:28:38.750 --> 00:28:42.789 You're developing, nurturing this relationship 00:28:42.789 --> 00:28:46.190 with your wife and then your kids come along 00:28:46.190 --> 00:28:51.490 and it just continues. So you men, just because 00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:54.589 you're married doesn't mean now all of a sudden 00:28:54.589 --> 00:28:57.890 you can neglect your wife. You have to still 00:28:57.890 --> 00:29:03.170 maintain that relationship. It should grow. It 00:29:03.170 --> 00:29:10.129 should flourish. Each day should be better. You 00:29:10.129 --> 00:29:12.990 should want to spend more time with your wife. 00:29:16.349 --> 00:29:19.250 When I saw a t -shirt, my favorite day is the 00:29:19.250 --> 00:29:22.690 day spent with you. Today is my favorite day. 00:29:23.309 --> 00:29:25.890 Something like that we saw at the shop the other 00:29:25.890 --> 00:29:28.529 day. But that's true. Each day should be your 00:29:28.529 --> 00:29:30.109 new favorite day that you're spending with your 00:29:30.109 --> 00:29:34.869 wife. Because it should just be that much more 00:29:34.869 --> 00:29:38.730 that you know her and enjoy her. Again, it was 00:29:38.730 --> 00:29:44.319 a corny shirt. It was funny. Okay, developing 00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:47.000 relationship. And then we talked about discipline. 00:29:47.220 --> 00:29:49.420 And so I want to read these, the spanking of 00:29:49.420 --> 00:29:51.200 our children. I'm going to read through these 00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:54.279 again because these are important. Again, this 00:29:54.279 --> 00:29:57.099 is not my idea that we're going to be spanking 00:29:57.099 --> 00:30:01.220 our children. This is God's Word giving clear 00:30:01.220 --> 00:30:10.539 instruction to parents. Proverbs 13, 24. He who 00:30:10.539 --> 00:30:14.799 withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves 00:30:14.799 --> 00:30:18.160 him disciplines him diligently. Again, we talked 00:30:18.160 --> 00:30:21.920 about that. Love and hate. If you hate him, you're 00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:23.500 just going to let him go his own way. You're 00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:25.240 not going to spank him. You're not going to discipline 00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:32.940 him. Proverbs 19, 18. Discipline your son while 00:30:32.940 --> 00:30:38.990 there is hope, and do not desire his death. Proverbs 00:30:38.990 --> 00:30:43.289 22 .6 Train up a child in the way he should go. 00:30:43.710 --> 00:30:46.529 Even when he is old, he will not depart from 00:30:46.529 --> 00:30:51.950 it. 22 .15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart 00:30:51.950 --> 00:30:55.150 of a child. The rod of discipline will remove 00:30:55.150 --> 00:31:02.930 it far from him. Proverbs 23 .13 -14 Do not hold 00:31:02.930 --> 00:31:05.089 back discipline from the child. Although you 00:31:05.089 --> 00:31:08.309 strike him with the rod, he will not die. You 00:31:08.309 --> 00:31:10.650 shall strike him with the rod and rescue his 00:31:10.650 --> 00:31:16.849 soul from Sheol. And then Proverbs 29, 15 and 00:31:16.849 --> 00:31:22.410 17. The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child 00:31:22.410 --> 00:31:25.130 who gets his own way brings shame to his mother. 00:31:25.750 --> 00:31:28.150 Correct your son and he will give you comfort. 00:31:28.210 --> 00:31:34.569 He will also delight your soul. Clear instructions 00:31:34.569 --> 00:31:40.200 from the Word of God. Will you heed them? Will 00:31:40.200 --> 00:31:44.599 you put them into practice? This is the time, 00:31:44.599 --> 00:31:48.700 you young parents, this is the time, you young 00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:53.779 men, to begin all of these things. We all know, 00:31:53.819 --> 00:31:58.279 guys, it just gets harder. I remember as a young 00:31:58.279 --> 00:32:02.900 man, I was just speaking of developing habits, 00:32:03.160 --> 00:32:06.490 developing patterns in our lives. Those patterns, 00:32:06.769 --> 00:32:08.710 when we develop them, they're hard to break. 00:32:08.829 --> 00:32:10.910 We all know that. It's hard to break habits. 00:32:12.210 --> 00:32:15.569 And so if you're developing and setting bad habits 00:32:15.569 --> 00:32:18.789 now, it just gets harder as you get older. The 00:32:18.789 --> 00:32:22.190 longer you do it, the harder it is. And I always 00:32:22.190 --> 00:32:25.450 remember in high school, playing sports, right? 00:32:25.529 --> 00:32:28.109 Really busy. Well, when I'm done with high school, 00:32:28.170 --> 00:32:30.410 I'll have a little more time for the Lord. I'll 00:32:30.410 --> 00:32:33.569 be able to be more consistent, right? Because... 00:32:34.140 --> 00:32:36.660 I won't be playing basketball. I won't be playing 00:32:36.660 --> 00:32:39.480 this. I won't be doing that. I won't be having 00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:44.119 to go to the gym every day. Right? No, of course 00:32:44.119 --> 00:32:46.859 not. So I get into college and I'm like, well, 00:32:46.940 --> 00:32:49.359 this is a real drag. I'm working and I'm going 00:32:49.359 --> 00:32:52.099 to school now. And I'm trying to go to the gym. 00:32:52.380 --> 00:32:55.599 And I want to still have some time with my friends. 00:32:55.599 --> 00:32:59.059 And I want to see my girlfriend. But once I'm 00:32:59.059 --> 00:33:02.099 done with this. Once this phase of my life is 00:33:02.099 --> 00:33:05.859 over and I'm married or I just got my job, then 00:33:05.859 --> 00:33:08.220 I'm going to have time. I'll have time then. 00:33:09.339 --> 00:33:13.319 All this other stuff is gone, right? Easy. What 00:33:13.319 --> 00:33:17.859 happens? I get married. I've got a job. I've 00:33:17.859 --> 00:33:22.359 got two jobs. I've got some kids. Where's the 00:33:22.359 --> 00:33:26.619 time? I still don't have it. That's how it works. 00:33:27.180 --> 00:33:31.630 That's how we think. Next week, next month, after 00:33:31.630 --> 00:33:34.849 this busy, once this big thing gets over with. 00:33:35.349 --> 00:33:40.029 No, you're never going to have time. You have 00:33:40.029 --> 00:33:43.849 got to develop the time in your life. Develop 00:33:43.849 --> 00:33:48.849 the habits, the patterns. Now, being in the Word, 00:33:49.069 --> 00:33:51.529 leading your wife, disciplining your children. 00:33:51.650 --> 00:33:57.950 All of these things are now. Begin now, you unmarried 00:33:57.950 --> 00:34:03.509 folk. Now is the time to develop good habits 00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:08.250 and good patterns in your life. It's not going 00:34:08.250 --> 00:34:17.869 to get easier later. I promise. So far, in all 00:34:17.869 --> 00:34:19.690 that we've dealt with, who's been responsible? 00:34:23.449 --> 00:34:28.489 Men. You men, I have hopefully stressed, this 00:34:28.489 --> 00:34:32.650 is all on you. Everything that we've talked about 00:34:32.650 --> 00:34:35.489 today and everything we've talked about in the 00:34:35.489 --> 00:34:42.449 last two months is all on you. If you've not 00:34:42.449 --> 00:34:44.650 felt the weight of that, I don't think you've 00:34:44.650 --> 00:34:50.530 hurt me. I have felt the weight of it. As I teach 00:34:50.530 --> 00:34:53.070 these things, as I study and I think about what 00:34:53.070 --> 00:34:56.269 I'm going to say, I see my failures everywhere. 00:34:57.670 --> 00:35:00.710 I see that I've not loved my wife as I should. 00:35:01.190 --> 00:35:04.670 I've been impatient with her. I've not led her 00:35:04.670 --> 00:35:08.610 well. All of these things. I've failed in all 00:35:08.610 --> 00:35:12.309 of these things. I see my failures in all of 00:35:12.309 --> 00:35:16.789 them. Why do I say that? It's difficult. And 00:35:16.789 --> 00:35:18.630 we're not looking for perfection from everybody, 00:35:18.670 --> 00:35:22.079 but we've got to see. The weight of it all and 00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:28.099 the need to change. It is a huge weight upon 00:35:28.099 --> 00:35:33.179 you men. Everything is on your shoulders. The 00:35:33.179 --> 00:35:36.119 training, instruction, discipline of your children 00:35:36.119 --> 00:35:41.059 is your responsibility, not your wife's. Yes, 00:35:41.059 --> 00:35:43.860 she should be helping. She is going to have a 00:35:43.860 --> 00:35:50.199 role in it. It rests on you. If you've not felt 00:35:50.199 --> 00:35:54.860 that weight, you've not heard me. If you have 00:35:54.860 --> 00:35:59.840 felt that weight and that burden, good. Go to 00:35:59.840 --> 00:36:01.639 the Lord for the strength and the help that you 00:36:01.639 --> 00:36:07.500 need. And he will give it. He is there for us. 00:36:07.860 --> 00:36:11.039 He's commanded us to do these things. Do we not 00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:13.639 think he'll give us the strength, the wisdom, 00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:16.980 the direction to accomplish all that he's called 00:36:16.980 --> 00:36:21.010 us to? Of course he will. Be encouraged in that. 00:36:21.369 --> 00:36:28.730 If you failed, repent and move forward. Move 00:36:28.730 --> 00:36:33.130 forward in obedience. Look into the Lord for 00:36:33.130 --> 00:36:37.670 His help and for His guidance. Be encouraged 00:36:37.670 --> 00:36:41.969 that in Christ you can do these things. Okay? 00:36:42.349 --> 00:36:46.909 Again, we know we're going to fail. But that's 00:36:46.909 --> 00:36:51.000 no excuse. we're still going to press on faithfully 00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:55.199 doing all that the Lord has commanded. So be 00:36:55.199 --> 00:36:59.619 encouraged in that and press on it. Next week, 00:36:59.639 --> 00:37:05.099 Lord willing, we will look at wives and their 00:37:05.099 --> 00:37:07.760 responsibilities and what the Lord has called 00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:10.119 them to. Amen.