WEBVTT 00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:04.639 So this morning we are going to deal with discipline, 00:00:04.879 --> 00:00:10.740 the discipline of our children. So in the past, 00:00:11.720 --> 00:00:13.919 last Sunday and I think the Sunday before, we 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:17.260 talked about discipline and how that word in 00:00:17.260 --> 00:00:21.640 Ephesians is broad, that it covers instruction, 00:00:21.980 --> 00:00:26.960 correction, and also deals with spanking, the 00:00:26.960 --> 00:00:30.100 physical discipline of our children. So the word 00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:33.380 discipline there in Ephesians is very broad It 00:00:33.380 --> 00:00:35.700 includes all those those different things we 00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:38.659 mentioned that And so this morning we're going 00:00:38.659 --> 00:00:42.500 to talk about Discipline in the sense of spanking 00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:45.479 our kids and what is involved in that? Where 00:00:45.479 --> 00:00:47.880 do we get that from? Why do we think that's good? 00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:56.020 Is it good? So again I want to emphasize here 00:00:56.020 --> 00:01:00.549 Ephesians 6 for before we begin, looking at some 00:01:00.549 --> 00:01:05.189 other passages. Ephesians 6, 4, Paul gives some 00:01:05.189 --> 00:01:07.189 clear instruction there to the fathers. He says, 00:01:07.530 --> 00:01:09.930 fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, 00:01:10.530 --> 00:01:13.109 but bring them up in the discipline and instruction 00:01:13.109 --> 00:01:16.709 of the Lord. And so again, when we deal with 00:01:16.709 --> 00:01:22.290 spanking, I'm singling out you fathers. It's 00:01:22.290 --> 00:01:26.230 your responsibility. This isn't mom's job, in 00:01:26.230 --> 00:01:29.319 and of itself. You fathers are to take the lead. 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:36.040 It is your responsibility. I want us to understand 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:39.180 another thing here, and I don't know that I've 00:01:39.180 --> 00:01:43.519 made this clear, and so I hope I have, but maybe 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:47.939 I haven't. When does this role begin in fathers? 00:01:48.599 --> 00:01:51.340 When is it that you begin to lead and take the 00:01:51.340 --> 00:02:00.260 role in your children's lives? At what age? The 00:02:00.260 --> 00:02:03.700 moment they're born, all right? So every decision 00:02:03.700 --> 00:02:06.400 that is made for that baby, that baby comes home 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:10.340 with you. Is it mom's decision when that baby 00:02:10.340 --> 00:02:14.259 goes to bed? Is it mom's decision who holds the 00:02:14.259 --> 00:02:17.719 baby? Is it mom's decision for all these other 00:02:17.719 --> 00:02:20.219 things, what we do, where we go? No, it's not. 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:23.319 That's not mom's decision. That's dad's decision. 00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:28.159 And so let me encourage you young parents, you 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:33.860 young men, lead your wives. You make the decisions 00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:37.080 in your home. You decide where you're going, 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:39.919 what you're doing. I think I've said this, but 00:02:39.919 --> 00:02:42.539 it is imperative that your children assimilate 00:02:42.539 --> 00:02:46.319 into your life. In other words, all of a sudden 00:02:46.319 --> 00:02:49.379 you have a baby, life doesn't just... dramatically 00:02:49.379 --> 00:02:51.840 change we never go out we never do anything we 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:53.719 can't go here we can't do that we can't make 00:02:53.719 --> 00:02:57.080 the meeting we can't do this because little johnny 00:02:57.080 --> 00:03:01.379 little jimmy is a newborn no they go to the meeting 00:03:01.379 --> 00:03:05.099 they go to your friend's house right you want 00:03:05.099 --> 00:03:09.099 to go out to dinner you take the baby it's not 00:03:09.099 --> 00:03:11.219 like you've got to be home taking care of that 00:03:11.219 --> 00:03:14.460 baby that baby goes with you and fathers you 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:18.610 should lead in that you mothers It's a scary 00:03:18.610 --> 00:03:24.689 thing having this newborn baby. Everything involved 00:03:24.689 --> 00:03:26.789 in caring for them, you're just like, we just 00:03:26.789 --> 00:03:28.590 got to keep this kid alive. I remember when we 00:03:28.590 --> 00:03:31.129 had it, it was just like, we're responsible for 00:03:31.129 --> 00:03:34.509 this, this tiny little thing here. We got to 00:03:34.509 --> 00:03:41.330 keep him alive. It's scary. It was for us. But 00:03:41.330 --> 00:03:43.750 you get get used to that and next thing, you 00:03:43.750 --> 00:03:45.590 know, you're going out you're seeing your friends 00:03:45.590 --> 00:03:47.289 You're still going out to dinner with people 00:03:47.289 --> 00:03:49.789 you're doing this. You should be doing a lot 00:03:49.789 --> 00:03:54.150 of the same things Your baby just becomes part 00:03:54.150 --> 00:03:56.449 of your family. You don't all of a sudden change 00:03:56.449 --> 00:04:00.069 fathers. You need to lead in that Along those 00:04:00.069 --> 00:04:04.050 same lines and this is a side note We'll deal 00:04:04.050 --> 00:04:07.090 with this as we go on here, but we'll just deal 00:04:07.090 --> 00:04:10.620 with it when we get there So fathers you are 00:04:10.620 --> 00:04:15.340 responsible. It is your responsibility To lead 00:04:15.340 --> 00:04:17.740 your home to lead your family and that begins 00:04:17.740 --> 00:04:20.519 when that baby comes home, you know when that 00:04:20.519 --> 00:04:26.899 baby's born so Discipline Hebrews 12. Let's let's 00:04:26.899 --> 00:04:32.139 read that real quick Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 00:04:32.139 --> 00:04:39.870 5 Beginning in verse 5 So this word discipline 00:04:39.870 --> 00:04:48.850 is used throughout this passage. We'll start 00:04:48.850 --> 00:04:51.110 in four. You have not yet resisted to the point 00:04:51.110 --> 00:04:53.709 of shedding blood in your striving against sin, 00:04:54.290 --> 00:04:56.709 and you have forgotten the exhortation which 00:04:56.709 --> 00:05:00.389 is addressed to you as sons. And he quotes Proverbs 00:05:00.389 --> 00:05:03.649 here. My son, do not regard lightly the discipline 00:05:03.649 --> 00:05:07.110 of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved 00:05:07.110 --> 00:05:11.759 by him. For those whom the Lord loves he disciplines 00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:15.040 and he scourges every son whom he receives or 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:19.480 whips It is for discipline that you endure God 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:22.600 deals with you as with sons for what son is there 00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:26.300 whom his father does not discipline? But if you 00:05:26.300 --> 00:05:30.259 are without discipline Of which all have become 00:05:30.259 --> 00:05:33.019 partakers then you are illegitimate children 00:05:33.019 --> 00:05:37.360 and not sons further furthermore we had earthly 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:40.000 fathers to discipline us and and we respected 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:43.120 them shall we not much rather be subject to the 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:46.160 father of spirits and live for they disciplined 00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:49.420 us for a short time as seemed best to them but 00:05:49.420 --> 00:05:52.300 he disciplines us for our good so that we may 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:56.240 share his holiness all discipline for the moment 00:05:56.240 --> 00:05:59.800 seems not to be joyful but sorrowful yet to those 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:03.420 who have been trained by it afterwards it yields 00:06:03.420 --> 00:06:08.290 the peace peaceful fruit of righteousness So 00:06:08.290 --> 00:06:12.649 there the discipline that is all discipline is 00:06:12.649 --> 00:06:19.670 three different words In verse 5 Verse 6 and 00:06:19.670 --> 00:06:21.870 verse 9 there's three different words that are 00:06:21.870 --> 00:06:24.730 used for discipline when it covers all all the 00:06:24.730 --> 00:06:29.709 bases instruction teaching chastising spanking 00:06:29.709 --> 00:06:32.670 Correcting instructing all of those are included 00:06:32.670 --> 00:06:36.050 all throughout that passage That's how God deals 00:06:36.050 --> 00:06:41.060 with us He disciplines us, He instructs us, He 00:06:41.060 --> 00:06:43.560 chastens us, He teaches us. All those things 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:47.199 are what our Heavenly Father does for us and 00:06:47.199 --> 00:06:50.720 we as fathers are to be doing to our children. 00:06:53.100 --> 00:06:56.759 He quotes Proverbs, Proverbs 3. I think it's 00:06:56.759 --> 00:07:03.360 Proverbs 3, 11, or 11 and 12, 12 and 13. Let's 00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:06.949 look at some other Proverbs. Yeah, that was Proverbs 00:07:06.949 --> 00:07:11.550 3, 11, and 12. So a few more Proverbs. Let's 00:07:11.550 --> 00:07:14.050 read these. You don't have to turn to them. I 00:07:14.050 --> 00:07:16.470 have them written down, and I'll just maybe comment 00:07:16.470 --> 00:07:19.670 a little bit on each one here, dealing with the 00:07:19.670 --> 00:07:24.410 discipline of our children. So Proverbs 13, 24. 00:07:25.649 --> 00:07:30.350 He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he 00:07:30.350 --> 00:07:40.529 who loves him disciplines him diligently. So 00:07:40.529 --> 00:07:43.750 we see there what? We see the rod. What does 00:07:43.750 --> 00:07:46.790 that mean? What is this rod? Let's understand 00:07:46.790 --> 00:07:53.930 what the rod is. It can be translated as a staff, 00:07:54.209 --> 00:07:58.990 a club, or a scepter. So the staff there has 00:07:58.990 --> 00:08:01.329 reference to what the shepherd would keep with 00:08:01.329 --> 00:08:04.529 him. To care for the sheep. To discipline the 00:08:04.529 --> 00:08:08.610 sheep. To deal with the sheep. Okay? So the rod. 00:08:10.509 --> 00:08:15.029 We have the word discipline. Correction is what 00:08:15.029 --> 00:08:20.649 the King James says. Again, it has to do with 00:08:20.649 --> 00:08:23.509 chastening, the act of disciplining, correcting, 00:08:23.850 --> 00:08:26.870 restraining someone, usually with the goal of 00:08:26.870 --> 00:08:30.490 fostering moral improvement or humility. Makes 00:08:30.490 --> 00:08:33.389 a person regret a past behavior and strives to 00:08:33.389 --> 00:08:35.909 do better. That's what chastening means. So that's 00:08:35.909 --> 00:08:40.820 what we're talking about here. Chastening. We 00:08:40.820 --> 00:08:43.679 see here what if you love your son, you're gonna 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:45.639 discipline him. You're gonna chase him. You're 00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:49.399 gonna deal with him So we have a love and hate 00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:52.080 there, right? We're gonna see that later on here. 00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:57.220 I Know it's in that one. I thought it was a different 00:08:57.220 --> 00:09:00.700 one. He who withholds his rod hates his son But 00:09:00.700 --> 00:09:03.620 he who loves him disciplines him diligently So 00:09:03.620 --> 00:09:06.899 let's get this this worldly nonsense out of our 00:09:06.899 --> 00:09:08.840 mind that if we love our children, we're not 00:09:08.840 --> 00:09:12.799 gonna spank them That's just worldly nonsense. 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:15.220 If you love your children, you're gonna spank 00:09:15.220 --> 00:09:19.100 them. Just as the writer to the Hebrews tells 00:09:19.100 --> 00:09:21.200 us, that's what God does to us because he loves 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:25.940 us. So let's be clear about that. If you do not 00:09:25.940 --> 00:09:30.820 discipline your child, you hate him. It's as 00:09:30.820 --> 00:09:33.759 simple as it can be said. It's as simple as it 00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:36.899 can be said. You love yourself more than you 00:09:36.899 --> 00:09:41.779 love your child. Because it's difficult. Discipline 00:09:41.779 --> 00:09:45.259 is hard. It's not pleasant. That's pleasant for 00:09:45.259 --> 00:09:52.960 anybody. But it's necessary. Proverbs 22, 6. 00:09:53.700 --> 00:09:56.299 Train up a child in the way he should go, even 00:09:56.299 --> 00:10:07.480 when he is old, he will not depart from it. Train. 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:12.809 Train up. Your children what does that word mean 00:10:12.809 --> 00:10:19.330 train has to do with Training just as you would 00:10:19.330 --> 00:10:21.950 think the example that was given in my concordance 00:10:21.950 --> 00:10:24.909 was Putting the bit in the horse's mouth leading 00:10:24.909 --> 00:10:27.950 him around training him to do what you want him 00:10:27.950 --> 00:10:32.049 to do So that word train it has to do with training. 00:10:32.049 --> 00:10:35.929 Have you ever trained a dog? You've got to train 00:10:35.929 --> 00:10:39.559 your children You've got to teach them and require 00:10:39.559 --> 00:10:44.360 of them certain things. It requires effort. It 00:10:44.360 --> 00:10:47.720 requires discipline on your part. Discipline 00:10:47.720 --> 00:10:51.480 in the sense of consistent, consistently doing 00:10:51.480 --> 00:10:56.340 this, diligently doing this. Train up your child 00:10:56.340 --> 00:10:59.080 in the way he should go, even when he is old 00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:11.559 he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22, 15. 00:11:12.039 --> 00:11:14.720 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. 00:11:15.240 --> 00:11:18.279 The rod of discipline will remove it far from 00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:24.840 him. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of 00:11:24.840 --> 00:11:28.759 a child. What do the Proverbs say about foolishness? 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:36.460 Nothing good. Alright? The way of the fool, foolishness, 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:41.850 where does it lead? Destruction. Destruction 00:11:41.850 --> 00:11:45.450 and death is the way of the fool. That child 00:11:45.450 --> 00:11:50.610 left to himself will find destruction, guaranteed. 00:11:53.090 --> 00:11:56.269 It is your responsibility to lead him in the 00:11:56.269 --> 00:11:59.330 way that he should go. To train him according 00:11:59.330 --> 00:12:03.009 to the Word of God. To discipline him and to 00:12:03.009 --> 00:12:06.570 instruct him. And the rod is what is necessary. 00:12:10.399 --> 00:12:13.919 The rod of discipline will remove it far from 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:22.659 him. Proverbs 23, 13, and 14. Do not hold back 00:12:22.659 --> 00:12:24.940 discipline from the child. Although you strike 00:12:24.940 --> 00:12:28.399 him with the rod, he will not die. You shall 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:32.139 strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from 00:12:32.139 --> 00:12:42.629 shield. It seems pretty clear. Spanking your 00:12:42.629 --> 00:12:45.610 kids. Seems pretty clear. Pretty obvious according 00:12:45.610 --> 00:12:49.789 to these Proverbs. Proverbs 19, 18. Chasing your 00:12:49.789 --> 00:12:53.669 son. Discipline your son while there is hope 00:12:53.669 --> 00:13:00.309 and do not desire his death. My inner linear 00:13:00.309 --> 00:13:04.029 Bible translates it. Chasing your son for there 00:13:04.029 --> 00:13:08.820 is hope and do not set your soul. on making him 00:13:08.820 --> 00:13:13.299 die. So if you're not going to discipline your 00:13:13.299 --> 00:13:17.419 son, you're desiring his death. The King James 00:13:17.419 --> 00:13:21.659 says, Chasing thy son while there is hope, and 00:13:21.659 --> 00:13:26.740 let not thy soul spare for his crime. Those are 00:13:26.740 --> 00:13:29.519 three different ways that verse can be translated. 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.419 Again, the Hebrew is a difficult language, and 00:13:34.419 --> 00:13:38.100 so I'm not going to sit here and tell you. But 00:13:38.100 --> 00:13:41.820 clearly those who were Translating the King James 00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:44.159 thought it had something to do here with being 00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:47.940 influenced by the crying of your children in 00:13:47.940 --> 00:13:51.120 The Hebrew that must have been part of it So 00:13:51.120 --> 00:13:53.100 they're not gonna like it. They're gonna cry 00:13:53.100 --> 00:13:54.659 and you're gonna sit there and think I should 00:13:54.659 --> 00:13:59.820 stop this this poor little guy is just Breaking 00:13:59.820 --> 00:14:07.399 my heart crying No Save his soul Don't Don't 00:14:07.399 --> 00:14:09.919 let them continue. Don't be influenced by that. 00:14:11.059 --> 00:14:15.600 Be influenced by what is right. Proverbs 29, 00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:19.299 15, and 17. The rod and reproof give wisdom, 00:14:20.139 --> 00:14:22.899 but a child who gets his own way brings shame 00:14:22.899 --> 00:14:27.039 to his mother. Correct your son and he will give 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:30.440 you comfort. He will also delight your soul. 00:14:34.340 --> 00:14:39.200 The rod and reproof give wisdom. So let's understand 00:14:39.200 --> 00:14:43.279 that, okay? When we are disciplining our children, 00:14:44.299 --> 00:14:49.179 there must be instruction. And there should be 00:14:49.179 --> 00:14:52.519 instruction before that, so that they understand 00:14:52.519 --> 00:14:55.799 why it is that we're giving them the spanking. 00:14:56.899 --> 00:14:59.379 If they have no idea why they're getting the 00:14:59.379 --> 00:15:02.100 spanking, you've not instructed them properly. 00:15:02.539 --> 00:15:06.679 There must be instruction. Once there is instruction, 00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:13.379 then the rod is necessary. Okay? But they go 00:15:13.379 --> 00:15:16.419 hand in hand. There should be instruction before 00:15:16.419 --> 00:15:19.679 so that they know what's expected. When they 00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:22.500 fail to do those things or not to do those things 00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:24.779 that they should be doing, then the rod is brought. 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:27.960 And then there's more instruction given. Here's 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.100 what happened. Here's why we're doing this. Do 00:15:30.100 --> 00:15:35.620 you understand? And so on. Instruction. We talked 00:15:35.620 --> 00:15:39.559 about instruction in weeks before. We should 00:15:39.559 --> 00:15:42.659 be instructing our children in all things, always. 00:15:47.159 --> 00:15:53.120 Okay. So those are a few verses. Probably the 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:57.820 bulk of them there. Dealing with spanking your 00:15:57.820 --> 00:16:05.320 kids. This word, strike. you shall, where is 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:12.879 it here, in Proverbs 23, strike, beat, or smite, 00:16:14.019 --> 00:16:17.759 again my lexicon says a single non -fatal blow. 00:16:17.879 --> 00:16:24.000 So we're talking about a spanking. When does 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:36.110 this begin? Very, very, very early. You all, 00:16:36.490 --> 00:16:41.370 you new parents out there, hopefully you're already 00:16:41.370 --> 00:16:43.830 starting this because it should have already 00:16:43.830 --> 00:16:48.990 begun. Before that baby can crawl, they can be 00:16:48.990 --> 00:16:50.690 sitting on your lap and what are they doing? 00:16:52.509 --> 00:16:55.450 Pulling on your necklace, yanking on your earrings, 00:16:57.090 --> 00:16:59.330 swatting the plate of food while you're eating 00:16:59.330 --> 00:17:02.090 dinner. All those things, right? None of those 00:17:02.090 --> 00:17:05.369 things are acceptable. And instruction and discipline 00:17:05.369 --> 00:17:08.789 is required. There's no reason that you can't 00:17:08.789 --> 00:17:12.130 sit at the table and have a peaceful meal. Holding 00:17:12.130 --> 00:17:17.289 your baby. If you can't, then you're not dealing 00:17:17.289 --> 00:17:21.549 with them. You need to deal with them. So it 00:17:21.549 --> 00:17:25.809 begins early. Begins early with a slap on the 00:17:25.809 --> 00:17:30.339 hand. As they're reaching... Swat when they're 00:17:30.339 --> 00:17:34.359 crawling and going to grab something No, don't 00:17:34.359 --> 00:17:38.220 do that and they continue you spank them you 00:17:38.220 --> 00:17:41.720 swat their hand and It continues like that for 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:45.119 the rest of their lives While they're home there 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:46.839 while you're raising them while you're training 00:17:46.839 --> 00:17:52.819 It's an ongoing process That feels like it's 00:17:52.819 --> 00:17:59.339 never -ending Okay, because it's continual You 00:17:59.339 --> 00:18:08.319 have to be diligent in this So The rod and reproof 00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:13.740 are necessary are essential it should be started 00:18:13.740 --> 00:18:33.980 at a very early age I want to try to give some 00:18:33.980 --> 00:18:43.980 practical help here. And before I do, let me 00:18:43.980 --> 00:18:52.119 say this. I hope we're all clear of what these 00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:56.640 passages that we've read are saying to us, that 00:18:56.640 --> 00:18:58.660 the discipline of our children, the spanking 00:18:58.660 --> 00:19:03.410 of our children is God's design, God's way. If 00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:06.630 you disagree with that, then you disagree with 00:19:06.630 --> 00:19:09.789 scripture. Can you think of any other scriptures 00:19:09.789 --> 00:19:12.730 that deal with the discipline of our children 00:19:12.730 --> 00:19:16.869 in a different way? Another way that we're to 00:19:16.869 --> 00:19:19.730 correct them and to discipline them. Is there 00:19:19.730 --> 00:19:24.170 another way given to us in scripture? I don't 00:19:24.170 --> 00:19:28.990 know. I can't find it. What does the world say? 00:19:29.329 --> 00:19:34.240 Oh, don't do that. So I want to be clear that 00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:40.480 this is the way. This isn't one of many. Time 00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:46.619 out. That's just Satan's design for the family. 00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:51.180 Put them in time out. Where do you find that 00:19:51.180 --> 00:19:54.619 in Scripture? Put them in time out so they can 00:19:54.619 --> 00:19:58.099 scream, cry, get angry and frustrated even more 00:19:58.099 --> 00:20:04.089 and then release them back into the family. Wickedness, 00:20:04.250 --> 00:20:06.430 that's all that is. That's not dealing with your 00:20:06.430 --> 00:20:09.829 children in a wise way. How about grounding? 00:20:10.009 --> 00:20:13.130 We're going to ground our little kid. Or we're 00:20:13.130 --> 00:20:16.569 going to take his toys away from him. Where do 00:20:16.569 --> 00:20:20.289 you find that in scripture? Is that a good thing? 00:20:20.309 --> 00:20:24.150 No, it's not. Did you deal with the problem? 00:20:26.769 --> 00:20:29.910 No. Did you deal with the heart? No, you just 00:20:29.910 --> 00:20:36.910 made him mad. Spank him. Discipline him. That 00:20:36.910 --> 00:20:41.430 is God's method. You say, you'll hear it all 00:20:41.430 --> 00:20:44.009 if you haven't already. Well, we tried. We tried 00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:46.130 that. You know, we tried to spank our kids and 00:20:46.130 --> 00:20:49.750 it just didn't work. What's my response to that? 00:20:49.789 --> 00:20:54.490 Well, you mean to tell me that you were consistent, 00:20:55.190 --> 00:20:59.349 diligent. Did it exactly how the Lord told you 00:20:59.349 --> 00:21:02.269 to do it time and time and time again? And the 00:21:02.269 --> 00:21:05.710 Lord's way failed you and so now instead of doing 00:21:05.710 --> 00:21:08.470 what God has said You're gonna do it the way 00:21:08.470 --> 00:21:12.329 of someone else your therapist your psychologist 00:21:12.329 --> 00:21:19.950 whomever Worldly wisdom foolishness It's sin 00:21:19.950 --> 00:21:22.470 is all it is. How about this one? Well, you know 00:21:22.470 --> 00:21:24.369 I get angry and so I don't want to discipline 00:21:24.369 --> 00:21:27.869 them in anger. Amen You don't want to discipline 00:21:27.869 --> 00:21:29.710 them in anger. So you better deal with your own 00:21:29.710 --> 00:21:33.069 sin so that you can deal with your child's sin. 00:21:34.890 --> 00:21:37.670 Two sins don't make it right. Your sin, their 00:21:37.670 --> 00:21:42.470 sin, and then where does that leave you? Disobeying 00:21:42.470 --> 00:21:47.609 the Lord in all ways. There's no excuse. Deal 00:21:47.609 --> 00:21:53.329 with your sin and deal with your child. So there's 00:21:53.329 --> 00:21:57.519 one way that scripture has given us. One way, 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:05.720 deal with them according to God's word. So early, 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:09.700 it must be started early. Spanking, swat on the 00:22:09.700 --> 00:22:11.920 hand as they get older, you're gonna be swatting 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:14.779 them on the leg. Maybe you're gonna get a spoon 00:22:14.779 --> 00:22:16.819 as they get a little bit older and then you're 00:22:16.819 --> 00:22:19.259 gonna have to graduate to something bigger, the 00:22:19.259 --> 00:22:22.940 paddle, whatever it is. It's got to do what it's 00:22:22.940 --> 00:22:25.910 meant to do. We did one swat, that's all that 00:22:25.910 --> 00:22:32.609 was necessary. One good swat, they're done. They 00:22:32.609 --> 00:22:36.990 don't want no part of it after that. But it's 00:22:36.990 --> 00:22:41.309 got to inflict some pain. It's not just a love 00:22:41.309 --> 00:22:44.150 tap. A little swat on the diaper, oh come on 00:22:44.150 --> 00:22:47.190 now, quit that. You've accomplished nothing. 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:52.400 If that child isn't thinking twice about doing 00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:55.319 the same thing that he just got done doing, you've 00:22:55.319 --> 00:22:58.559 not dealt with him. If he goes right back to 00:22:58.559 --> 00:23:02.160 it with no tears, you've not disciplined him. 00:23:02.299 --> 00:23:09.480 You've not spanked him properly. Spank him. Save 00:23:09.480 --> 00:23:16.369 his soul. One thing we're trying to do as we 00:23:16.369 --> 00:23:21.089 discipline our children is to break their wills. 00:23:22.029 --> 00:23:24.809 Do we all understand that? That's a good thing 00:23:24.809 --> 00:23:30.829 to break their will. We want their will conform 00:23:30.829 --> 00:23:35.150 to ours because we know what's best and we know 00:23:35.150 --> 00:23:39.690 what's right. Think of our relationship with 00:23:39.690 --> 00:23:48.029 God. Was your will ever broken? Jesus said, not 00:23:48.029 --> 00:23:52.009 my will, but thine be done. Not what I want, 00:23:52.089 --> 00:23:55.910 but what you want, Father. The same is true of 00:23:55.910 --> 00:23:59.890 our children. Our will as parents is bent to 00:23:59.890 --> 00:24:03.190 the will of the Father. Our children's will is 00:24:03.190 --> 00:24:08.250 bent to our will. Break their will, their will 00:24:08.250 --> 00:24:11.990 to disobey, their will to do all of these other 00:24:11.990 --> 00:24:16.519 things. Break it. Oh, but they're self -esteem. 00:24:16.680 --> 00:24:18.660 We don't want to hurt their self -esteem. We 00:24:18.660 --> 00:24:21.819 don't want them... That's all worldly wisdom 00:24:21.819 --> 00:24:27.079 and foolishness. Break their wills. Bend their 00:24:27.079 --> 00:24:34.440 will to yours. Require obedience. Obedience, 00:24:34.839 --> 00:24:37.900 right? That's what we want. What is obedience? 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:45.859 You say, tell little Johnny, hey, it's time to 00:24:45.859 --> 00:24:48.900 get the living room cleaned up. We're gonna have 00:24:48.900 --> 00:24:51.059 some family devotions, go get all your toys put 00:24:51.059 --> 00:24:57.019 away, whatever. And he says no. Well, that's 00:24:57.019 --> 00:24:59.220 pretty clear, that's a spanking. He said no, 00:24:59.319 --> 00:25:02.180 well you're gonna get a spanking for that. So 00:25:02.180 --> 00:25:04.019 then he goes and gets his toys and he's throwing 00:25:04.019 --> 00:25:08.140 them in his room. He's all mad. But he's doing 00:25:08.140 --> 00:25:10.819 what you said. You said go put your toys in your 00:25:10.819 --> 00:25:14.779 room. And so he's doing it. Is he being obedient? 00:25:16.339 --> 00:25:19.519 No. He needs another spanking because now what 00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:22.160 have we got to deal with? His sinful attitude. 00:25:23.619 --> 00:25:27.059 Obedience isn't just an outward act. Obedience 00:25:27.059 --> 00:25:30.880 is an inward reality. You're going to do it and 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:33.779 you're going to do it with a good attitude. And 00:25:33.779 --> 00:25:35.599 if you're not going to do it with a good attitude, 00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:39.720 then we will apply the rod. And then you will 00:25:39.720 --> 00:25:44.190 do it with a good attitude. We deal with the 00:25:44.190 --> 00:25:48.450 heart It's not just an outward thing It's an 00:25:48.450 --> 00:25:51.569 inward thing When you break their will and you 00:25:51.569 --> 00:25:54.490 deal with the heart the outward falls right in 00:25:54.490 --> 00:26:01.410 line Break their will deal with the heart a wrong 00:26:01.410 --> 00:26:06.349 attitude and Perfect outward obedience is a spanking 00:26:06.349 --> 00:26:13.549 It's not okay Again, let's think about our own 00:26:13.549 --> 00:26:16.069 relationship with the Lord. Is that pleasing 00:26:16.069 --> 00:26:18.430 to the Lord when the Lord tells us, do this, 00:26:18.829 --> 00:26:22.869 and we do it, whining, crying, angry and frustrated? 00:26:23.190 --> 00:26:26.710 Is that pleasing? Is that good? No, absolutely 00:26:26.710 --> 00:26:31.630 not. We've not been obedient. The same is true 00:26:31.630 --> 00:26:39.710 with our children. Deal with it. Break their 00:26:39.710 --> 00:26:43.900 will. Bend it to your own. Deal with their attitude. 00:26:46.279 --> 00:26:51.119 Expectations then. What do we expect in obedience? 00:26:51.940 --> 00:26:56.599 Do we expect first time obedience? So the moment 00:26:56.599 --> 00:27:05.299 we say, pick up your toys. Come here. Go get 00:27:05.299 --> 00:27:08.900 your brother. Whatever. Whatever we tell him. 00:27:08.990 --> 00:27:14.609 What is expected? Surely we've all seen it, right? 00:27:14.750 --> 00:27:18.329 The little kid, he... Mom says, hey, go put your 00:27:18.329 --> 00:27:21.549 toys away. What does he do? I'm gonna put two 00:27:21.549 --> 00:27:25.250 more blocks on here. Two more blocks on there, 00:27:25.250 --> 00:27:29.150 and then I'm gonna go do this. That's a spanking. 00:27:30.769 --> 00:27:35.029 He didn't obey. He got his way. I got two more 00:27:35.029 --> 00:27:39.069 blocks built before I obeyed Mom. won that battle 00:27:39.069 --> 00:27:46.269 right go get your brother okay next thing you 00:27:46.269 --> 00:27:48.390 know I mean it's ten minutes later they finally 00:27:48.390 --> 00:27:50.950 made it to the door but they were on their way 00:27:50.950 --> 00:27:55.730 they were on their way that's not obedience that's 00:27:55.730 --> 00:27:58.390 again them exerting their will saying I'll do 00:27:58.390 --> 00:28:01.190 what I want you're not gonna tell me what to 00:28:01.190 --> 00:28:10.039 do that's a spanking obedience is a medium I 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:18.099 said this and you jumped. That's obedience. No 00:28:18.099 --> 00:28:27.539 exceptions. No exceptions. If you make exceptions, 00:28:27.599 --> 00:28:31.799 what happens? What have you done? You've trained 00:28:31.799 --> 00:28:36.920 them that you usually have to obey. Most of the 00:28:36.920 --> 00:28:41.460 time. except for the special occasions or the 00:28:41.460 --> 00:28:46.200 really important ones. No. Immediate obedience 00:28:46.200 --> 00:28:50.140 all the time, every time. It's not one, two, 00:28:50.140 --> 00:28:53.440 three. What have you taught them there? Well, 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:58.079 you got to obey at three. Not right away. But 00:28:58.079 --> 00:29:03.880 when I finally get to the point, right? Consistency 00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:09.500 in this is key, parents. It's not once you become 00:29:09.500 --> 00:29:13.599 frustrated that you require obedience I've been 00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:15.779 telling you this for the last five minutes little 00:29:15.779 --> 00:29:20.279 Johnny Now you're getting a spanking Now I'm 00:29:20.279 --> 00:29:23.319 frustrated you're annoyed with me because I keep 00:29:23.319 --> 00:29:26.980 saying the whole thing over and over again and 00:29:26.980 --> 00:29:32.000 Now you're gonna get a spanking no Our frustration 00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:35.160 and our anger often comes because we've not dealt 00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:37.619 rightly with our children. We become frustrated 00:29:37.619 --> 00:29:39.920 because we keep saying the same thing over and 00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:42.859 over and over and they won't do it. Why should 00:29:42.859 --> 00:29:46.579 they? You don't require it. They're not stupid. 00:29:46.859 --> 00:29:49.140 Children are not stupid. They are intelligent. 00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:54.259 They know exactly what they're doing. You have 00:29:54.259 --> 00:29:57.880 got to deal with them. You've got to deal with 00:29:57.880 --> 00:30:02.620 their attitude and their self -will. immediate 00:30:02.620 --> 00:30:05.920 obedience and as soon as they don't obey it's 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:09.099 not hey you're getting a spanking in five ten 00:30:09.099 --> 00:30:12.539 fifteen minutes when I get around to it it's 00:30:12.539 --> 00:30:15.279 right then right there you drop what you're doing 00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:18.859 you spank their butt and you send them on their 00:30:18.859 --> 00:30:24.859 way to obey it's what is essential do you want 00:30:24.859 --> 00:30:30.000 a home of peace and joy and happiness this is 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:33.890 the method This is it. Those kids will be happy 00:30:33.890 --> 00:30:36.089 as can be because they know what's expected. 00:30:38.609 --> 00:30:42.789 They'll fall right in line. Now it may take some 00:30:42.789 --> 00:30:45.829 time. It's gonna be difficult. And there'll be 00:30:45.829 --> 00:30:48.390 good days and bad days. I mean, let's be honest, 00:30:48.529 --> 00:30:53.950 right? I mean, who? I mean, with my kids, I experienced 00:30:53.950 --> 00:30:56.410 it. I experienced it at the hands of my mother 00:30:56.410 --> 00:31:01.089 and my father. Good days and bad days. It's like 00:31:01.089 --> 00:31:03.670 all of a sudden one day that the switch is flipped 00:31:03.670 --> 00:31:07.769 and it's like I'm just gonna be bad today Mom's 00:31:07.769 --> 00:31:10.470 gonna have to spank me all day and then dad's 00:31:10.470 --> 00:31:13.230 gonna have to spank me when he gets home It's 00:31:13.230 --> 00:31:15.170 like I don't understand it, but that's how it 00:31:15.170 --> 00:31:20.049 happens. I Remember that day in my life It was 00:31:20.049 --> 00:31:23.970 brutal. I Remember dealing with my own kids like 00:31:23.970 --> 00:31:29.329 that sometimes it's terrible Generally speaking 00:31:29.329 --> 00:31:34.569 though It creates a home of love, of joy, and 00:31:34.569 --> 00:31:42.450 of peace, obedience, and expectations. I wrote 00:31:42.450 --> 00:31:44.690 this down so I've just got to say it. If you're 00:31:44.690 --> 00:31:54.329 chasing your kid, don't. Just don't. Don't even 00:31:54.329 --> 00:31:58.430 go there. When you say, come here, they better 00:31:58.430 --> 00:32:01.619 just hop to it. If you're chasing that kid around 00:32:01.619 --> 00:32:04.539 the room to get him, you have failed in parenting, 00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:08.700 and it's time to change. It's time to put an 00:32:08.700 --> 00:32:13.539 end to that. I remember that happened to me one 00:32:13.539 --> 00:32:16.119 time, but it was because we've been playing. 00:32:17.019 --> 00:32:19.099 We've been playing some games, chasing the kids, 00:32:19.539 --> 00:32:22.319 roughhousing, goofing around, and it was time 00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:24.160 for them to listen now, you know, of course I'm 00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:27.009 chasing them, they're running. And I remember 00:32:27.009 --> 00:32:28.910 saying, it's time for whatever. And they took 00:32:28.910 --> 00:32:32.349 off running. And I thought, well, that's what 00:32:32.349 --> 00:32:34.069 we've been doing for the last 20 minutes. So 00:32:34.069 --> 00:32:37.849 I said, hey, it's time to be serious now. We're 00:32:37.849 --> 00:32:40.329 doing this. We're not playing games any longer. 00:32:41.230 --> 00:32:43.230 When they looked at me and they're like, oh, 00:32:43.410 --> 00:32:47.529 games are over, okay. But do you understand that 00:32:47.529 --> 00:32:49.890 situation there? I didn't spank them for that 00:32:49.890 --> 00:32:53.190 because we just got done doing that. But then 00:32:53.190 --> 00:32:55.619 they had to be instructed. When game time is 00:32:55.619 --> 00:32:58.900 over, it's immediate obedience. Yeah, we're horsing 00:32:58.900 --> 00:33:00.720 around, we're chasing each other, I'm trying 00:33:00.720 --> 00:33:04.799 to get you. But that's not life. That's game 00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:09.099 time. If it's not game time and you're chasing 00:33:09.099 --> 00:33:11.359 your kids around the house, you've got a problem. 00:33:11.900 --> 00:33:17.960 You've not been instructing and discipline. So 00:33:17.960 --> 00:33:22.039 have that expectation of complete, immediate 00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:26.799 obedience. This is the same for mother and father. 00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:29.759 I want to make sure we're clear on that. This 00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:33.900 isn't just for dad. All day long, mom, you bear 00:33:33.900 --> 00:33:37.140 the brunt of this. You're home with the kids 00:33:37.140 --> 00:33:41.000 way more than dad is. You have got to do this. 00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:45.480 We've already mentioned this, but mom and dad 00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:48.940 need to be in agreement here on spanking the 00:33:48.940 --> 00:33:53.369 kids. What it looks like, how it's done. What 00:33:53.369 --> 00:33:58.289 is required? You must be together, walking in 00:33:58.289 --> 00:34:03.289 unity here. That is essential. The kids don't 00:34:03.289 --> 00:34:06.109 run roughshod over mom all day, and then when 00:34:06.109 --> 00:34:08.309 dad gets home, now we're gonna discipline the 00:34:08.309 --> 00:34:13.570 kids. No. It's all day long with mom. And when 00:34:13.570 --> 00:34:17.710 dad gets home, you better have been good for 00:34:17.710 --> 00:34:21.750 mom, because now dad's gonna deal with you. But 00:34:21.750 --> 00:34:25.989 you have got to expect the same thing, and you 00:34:25.989 --> 00:34:30.369 have got to discipline them accordingly. It is 00:34:30.369 --> 00:34:36.969 imperative. It is imperative. Fathers, husbands, 00:34:37.070 --> 00:34:39.289 you have got to instruct your wives in these 00:34:39.289 --> 00:34:45.289 things. You've got to require, demand this. Sometimes 00:34:45.289 --> 00:34:51.019 it's a lot harder for mothers. So be it. So it's 00:34:51.019 --> 00:34:55.579 harder. You've got to do it. Nobody said it was 00:34:55.579 --> 00:35:01.079 easy, but it's what's necessary. Walk together. 00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:05.000 A couple other examples here that I want to give. 00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:10.440 Training our children, okay? What does that mean 00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:12.639 in your home? In our home, it meant we didn't 00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:16.750 pick everything up. So... I picked up the valuable 00:35:16.750 --> 00:35:19.269 things. I'm not going to leave my $10 ,000 vase 00:35:19.269 --> 00:35:21.789 sitting on the coffee table once I've got a toddler 00:35:21.789 --> 00:35:24.329 running around there so he can break it. That's 00:35:24.329 --> 00:35:28.030 just foolish. But I got my remote sitting down 00:35:28.030 --> 00:35:30.369 on the coffee table. I got the Kleenex box on 00:35:30.369 --> 00:35:33.250 the coffee table. I've got all these books sitting 00:35:33.250 --> 00:35:35.489 around. Things that kids aren't supposed to have. 00:35:36.429 --> 00:35:39.809 At least not in my home. They're all right there. 00:35:40.269 --> 00:35:42.809 And why? Why did I leave all those things out? 00:35:43.730 --> 00:35:46.730 So that I could give instruction. So that when 00:35:46.730 --> 00:35:49.309 they reach for the remote, I can say no, we don't 00:35:49.309 --> 00:35:52.630 touch the remote. When they start pulling Kleenexes 00:35:52.630 --> 00:35:55.369 out, I can say no. And I can give them a spanking. 00:35:56.170 --> 00:35:58.989 And then I can sit there and watch. And what 00:35:58.989 --> 00:36:06.489 do they do? If I'm not looking at it, Dad can't 00:36:06.489 --> 00:36:11.250 see me touching it. Right? It's kind of funny, 00:36:11.449 --> 00:36:14.880 but it's not. Again, it's that rebellious nature, 00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:17.300 that rebellious heart coming out. I'm going to 00:36:17.300 --> 00:36:23.860 get my way. So they go to the remote, they go 00:36:23.860 --> 00:36:25.760 to the Kleenex box, they go to the books, they 00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:28.159 go to the things, whatever you've said no to. 00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:35.900 What do you do? Do you pick them up? No. My no. 00:36:36.619 --> 00:36:40.320 You spank them. You say, hey, we're not doing 00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:44.369 that. You may not touch that. You set them on 00:36:44.369 --> 00:36:49.369 their way. Do you say, oh hey, don't touch that, 00:36:49.429 --> 00:36:53.230 come get this over here. Come get your toy. No. 00:36:54.610 --> 00:36:58.210 The toy's laying on the floor, they see it. They 00:36:58.210 --> 00:37:03.010 want the remote. You've got to deal with their, 00:37:03.750 --> 00:37:08.570 their will. What they want, bend it and break 00:37:08.570 --> 00:37:14.260 it to your own. Spanking. It may be a big battle. 00:37:14.840 --> 00:37:17.480 It may be a half -hour ordeal. I don't know. 00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:21.000 Every kid's different. Maybe it's just one and 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:23.840 done. And then just every now and then you got 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:25.420 to remind them of it with a little spanking. 00:37:27.780 --> 00:37:31.380 But when they get older is when that bears fruit. 00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:35.920 Because now they're older and you can... It's 00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:39.230 obvious. It's clear. We don't touch things that 00:37:39.230 --> 00:37:41.349 are another other people's we don't break things 00:37:41.349 --> 00:37:44.409 We don't throw things and when we do we discipline 00:37:44.409 --> 00:37:48.489 that but it all begins at that young age So we're 00:37:48.489 --> 00:37:50.369 not distracting them from the things. They're 00:37:50.369 --> 00:37:53.409 not supposed to touch. We're spanking them and 00:37:53.409 --> 00:38:03.010 teaching them obey obey It's important it all 00:38:03.010 --> 00:38:08.900 begins there it all begins there Don't distract 00:38:08.900 --> 00:38:12.340 them. Don't move things. You know, we never put 00:38:12.340 --> 00:38:15.880 locks on our cabinets. Kids knew, don't get in 00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:18.320 the cabinets. I think there was one drawer that 00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:20.300 they were allowed to get into with all the Tupperware 00:38:20.300 --> 00:38:24.119 in the cups. For whatever reason, kids love Tupperware. 00:38:24.579 --> 00:38:27.039 So if you give them Tupperware, they're happy. 00:38:28.059 --> 00:38:32.099 Tupperware is unbreakable. So be it. They can 00:38:32.099 --> 00:38:34.199 be in the kitchen with mom. Mom was fine with 00:38:34.199 --> 00:38:36.239 it. They can play with their Tupperware on the 00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:40.920 floor there. Great whatever rules you you have 00:38:40.920 --> 00:38:43.840 if that's an acceptable thing then great so be 00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:46.760 it But we didn't get in all the cabinets. We 00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:49.780 got into one that was it everything else was 00:38:49.780 --> 00:38:57.059 a spanking I Think this is from a book to train 00:38:57.059 --> 00:38:59.260 up your child. He says don't child proof your 00:38:59.260 --> 00:39:03.960 home home proof your child Train your child to 00:39:03.960 --> 00:39:06.989 live in your home and everybody else's home Without 00:39:06.989 --> 00:39:11.090 destroying things without getting into things 00:39:11.090 --> 00:39:21.090 Discipline them train them Giving in to your 00:39:21.090 --> 00:39:26.730 children So they're nagging you they're whining 00:39:26.730 --> 00:39:32.110 It's just continual You can't give in to your 00:39:32.110 --> 00:39:34.190 children's nagging and they're whining so when 00:39:34.190 --> 00:39:36.150 they're a little baby Right? They're going to 00:39:36.150 --> 00:39:37.969 whine at you. They're going to want something. 00:39:38.030 --> 00:39:40.690 You're going to tell them no and they're going 00:39:40.690 --> 00:39:42.929 to start whining and crying. What are you going 00:39:42.929 --> 00:39:50.789 to do? You're going to have to swat them. You're 00:39:50.789 --> 00:39:52.050 going to have to give them some instruction. 00:39:53.050 --> 00:39:55.369 Now that becomes a lot easier when you know for 00:39:55.369 --> 00:39:57.429 sure they understand exactly what you're saying. 00:39:58.710 --> 00:40:01.710 But that's not when it starts. It starts earlier. 00:40:02.659 --> 00:40:06.039 You've got to deal with it whining is a sin folks 00:40:06.039 --> 00:40:09.480 Whining is them telling you I don't like what 00:40:09.480 --> 00:40:16.300 you're doing. I want my own way Deal with it 00:40:16.300 --> 00:40:23.619 address it don't give in to it I Hesitate to 00:40:23.619 --> 00:40:30.090 say this, but I feel as though I must And the 00:40:30.090 --> 00:40:35.090 reason I hesitate is it's so rare. Reasonable 00:40:35.090 --> 00:40:40.510 expectations. You've got to have reasonable expectations 00:40:40.510 --> 00:40:44.449 for your kids, all right? That doesn't mean we 00:40:44.449 --> 00:40:46.610 give them a pass, because that's what so many 00:40:46.610 --> 00:40:48.789 people think. Oh, well, they're just so young, 00:40:48.829 --> 00:40:52.489 and so I don't want to be unreasonable. You're 00:40:52.489 --> 00:40:55.210 right. You don't want to be unreasonable. But 00:40:55.210 --> 00:40:59.050 those kids can be held to a very high standard. 00:40:59.469 --> 00:41:04.230 A lot higher than most of us think. And so I 00:41:04.230 --> 00:41:09.789 say that as a warning. Be reasonable. Don't, 00:41:09.789 --> 00:41:14.110 don't, you know. But make sure we're expecting 00:41:14.110 --> 00:41:19.250 a lot. There's still a high standard. But don't 00:41:19.250 --> 00:41:23.289 go crazy. And that's why I say I hesitate to 00:41:23.289 --> 00:41:25.590 say that because so often that's not the problem. 00:41:26.690 --> 00:41:30.519 It's very rare. that I've seen people with these 00:41:30.519 --> 00:41:33.440 unreasonable expectations. But I have seen it. 00:41:34.019 --> 00:41:37.780 And so that's why I say it. Because it can be 00:41:37.780 --> 00:41:42.960 a danger. It just rarely is. Rarely is. So I 00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:47.780 say that because I think that I should. But don't 00:41:47.780 --> 00:41:59.260 take it too far. Don't go too far with it. Wrote 00:41:59.260 --> 00:42:03.099 down here some excuses excuses not to discipline 00:42:03.099 --> 00:42:08.119 our children So I mentioned one I just can't 00:42:08.119 --> 00:42:12.139 control my anger Deal with your sin and and discipline 00:42:12.139 --> 00:42:15.900 your children. We tried and it didn't work again 00:42:15.900 --> 00:42:19.460 nonsense Deal with your sin and discipline your 00:42:19.460 --> 00:42:25.139 children Well, they're tired How many times we 00:42:25.139 --> 00:42:27.119 have to hear that all they're tired so that's 00:42:27.119 --> 00:42:31.440 why they're acting like this Now they may be 00:42:31.440 --> 00:42:36.099 tired But when you're two three and four year 00:42:36.099 --> 00:42:37.980 old is tired and they're throwing a complete 00:42:37.980 --> 00:42:42.780 fit It's still no excuse Even when that one year 00:42:42.780 --> 00:42:45.139 old is throwing a complete fit when they're tired 00:42:45.139 --> 00:42:51.719 What's the problem? Maybe it's you Maybe you 00:42:51.719 --> 00:42:55.639 Should have put them to bed already Maybe you 00:42:55.639 --> 00:42:57.579 should have been more responsible as a parent 00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:01.900 or maybe you just haven't trained them. It's 00:43:01.900 --> 00:43:04.059 not okay to throw a fit even if you aren't tired. 00:43:05.900 --> 00:43:10.940 There are no excuses for disobedience. They're 00:43:10.940 --> 00:43:14.679 tired, they're disappointed. We've heard all 00:43:14.679 --> 00:43:17.260 those things. Oh, they're just so sad that they 00:43:17.260 --> 00:43:21.880 didn't get this or that. Too bad. Life's full 00:43:21.880 --> 00:43:25.900 of disappointment. They need to learn to control 00:43:25.900 --> 00:43:27.940 their emotions and to control their temper at 00:43:27.940 --> 00:43:30.460 a young age It doesn't happen all of a sudden 00:43:30.460 --> 00:43:33.320 when they're 16 now all of a sudden I can control 00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:38.219 myself No, it happens when they're young Teach 00:43:38.219 --> 00:43:43.719 them to control their tempers to control Their 00:43:43.719 --> 00:43:49.920 bodies it is it is essential How about these 00:43:53.710 --> 00:44:02.530 I mean, these things are laughable. My kid has 00:44:02.530 --> 00:44:07.750 disruptive behavior disorder. That's a real one, 00:44:08.010 --> 00:44:12.730 folks. Disruptive behavior disorder. How about 00:44:12.730 --> 00:44:16.269 obstinate defiant disorder? Right? There's another 00:44:16.269 --> 00:44:27.010 one out there. Aggressive disorder. Oppositional 00:44:27.010 --> 00:44:33.269 Defiant Disorder. Anxiety Disorder. Mood Disorder. 00:44:34.050 --> 00:44:39.070 I mean, they go on and on. Separation Anxiety. 00:44:39.289 --> 00:44:41.909 Oh, there's just separation anxiety. That's why 00:44:41.909 --> 00:44:45.070 they're acting like this. Folks, those are all 00:44:45.070 --> 00:44:49.070 just the lies of Satan. Those are excuses why 00:44:49.070 --> 00:44:56.130 your children can be terrible. Do kids have mental 00:44:56.130 --> 00:44:58.449 problems at times? Are there things that they 00:44:58.449 --> 00:45:01.650 struggle with? Sure, no doubt. There's no doubt 00:45:01.650 --> 00:45:07.369 that there's issues. Oh, he has ADHD, so he just 00:45:07.369 --> 00:45:13.190 can't control himself. So much of that is just 00:45:13.190 --> 00:45:16.110 utter nonsense. So much of that is laziness on 00:45:16.110 --> 00:45:18.489 the part of the parents. So much of that is just 00:45:18.489 --> 00:45:23.130 the world looking for excuses. Why? Their system 00:45:23.130 --> 00:45:26.889 is okay. Well, all these kids have all these 00:45:26.889 --> 00:45:30.190 problems. That's why we can't do this, that, 00:45:30.269 --> 00:45:33.530 and the other. The reason the kids have the problems 00:45:33.530 --> 00:45:35.170 is because they haven't been disciplined. They 00:45:35.170 --> 00:45:36.789 haven't been taught. They haven't been trained. 00:45:37.170 --> 00:45:41.150 They haven't been loved. Okay? That's all it 00:45:41.150 --> 00:45:44.829 is. Mom and dad don't love them. They love themselves 00:45:44.829 --> 00:45:47.550 more than their children. And it's easier to 00:45:47.550 --> 00:45:50.250 label it and to medicate them than it is to deal 00:45:50.250 --> 00:45:54.199 with the sin. That's what it amounts to in the 00:45:54.199 --> 00:46:02.639 vast majority of the cases Don't give in to excuses 00:46:02.639 --> 00:46:09.980 Don't give in to the laziness that is so easy 00:46:09.980 --> 00:46:14.940 to creep in as parents Let me encourage you it 00:46:14.940 --> 00:46:19.980 is a long battle With a me and Amanda there were 00:46:19.980 --> 00:46:22.840 times where we would see we're really slacking 00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:28.260 off It would be looking back. It's It's like 00:46:28.260 --> 00:46:31.559 we would You'd go gung -ho right and you're just 00:46:31.559 --> 00:46:34.980 really being diligent and you're on it and you're 00:46:34.980 --> 00:46:36.920 disciplining the kids and things are going Well, 00:46:36.960 --> 00:46:39.199 and then you kind of things are going well. So 00:46:39.199 --> 00:46:42.900 what's your tendency? Maybe pull back a little 00:46:42.900 --> 00:46:45.219 bit or you know, maybe you just don't notice 00:46:45.219 --> 00:46:47.840 this or that or the other And next thing you 00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:49.780 know, I remember telling her, boy, we got to 00:46:49.780 --> 00:46:54.619 crack down. So -and -so is really pushing us 00:46:54.619 --> 00:46:57.579 here. We've got to deal with him. We've really 00:46:57.579 --> 00:47:02.420 slacked off here. It happens. And then you've 00:47:02.420 --> 00:47:05.820 got to be like gung -ho all over again. Back 00:47:05.820 --> 00:47:11.480 at it. Diligent. Consistent. That's the key. 00:47:12.239 --> 00:47:16.429 Because as soon as you do, slack off. They know 00:47:16.429 --> 00:47:19.530 it. And they're like, oh, mom and dad haven't 00:47:19.530 --> 00:47:22.230 been getting on to us for this. Let's go a little 00:47:22.230 --> 00:47:27.349 further. Again, that's what they do. That's the 00:47:27.349 --> 00:47:32.829 way it is. Be diligent. Be consistent in your 00:47:32.829 --> 00:48:01.219 discipline and your expectations. I wrote down 00:48:01.219 --> 00:48:07.800 here, choosing your battles. You know. Your children 00:48:07.800 --> 00:48:16.739 will test you at the worst times possible. And 00:48:16.739 --> 00:48:19.139 so I just want I just want to throw this out 00:48:19.139 --> 00:48:22.760 there that there are times where you may say 00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:25.659 I'm not going to deal with this here. Not going 00:48:25.659 --> 00:48:27.139 to deal with this in the middle of the grocery 00:48:27.139 --> 00:48:34.360 store. But it better not be a big deal. Because 00:48:34.360 --> 00:48:37.699 you've got to deal with it no matter where it 00:48:37.699 --> 00:48:40.719 is. If you deal with it at home, generally speaking, 00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:43.139 when you're out in public, you're not going to 00:48:43.139 --> 00:48:47.119 have that big of a problem. And maybe it's an 00:48:47.119 --> 00:48:48.719 issue where you can say, I'm not going to deal 00:48:48.719 --> 00:48:51.000 with it right now, but when we get home we're 00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:52.940 going to deal with it. Because maybe it's going 00:48:52.940 --> 00:48:58.559 to be a big deal. But be wise in where you are 00:48:58.559 --> 00:49:01.730 and what you do. Okay, and I'm not saying don't 00:49:01.730 --> 00:49:03.309 spank your kids in public. I'm not saying that 00:49:03.309 --> 00:49:04.989 at all I spank them out in the grocery store 00:49:04.989 --> 00:49:09.670 plenty Because that's what was required But if 00:49:09.670 --> 00:49:11.809 you've got to deal with them, and it's going 00:49:11.809 --> 00:49:13.750 to be a huge ordeal Then maybe you need to get 00:49:13.750 --> 00:49:15.949 out of the grocery store and take them home and 00:49:15.949 --> 00:49:20.909 really deal with them But don't be afraid of 00:49:20.909 --> 00:49:23.809 that But if you're consistent at home when you 00:49:23.809 --> 00:49:26.110 go out a lot of times. It's not that big a deal 00:49:26.110 --> 00:49:30.570 the kids know if I test mom I'm going to get 00:49:30.570 --> 00:49:32.789 the same treatment I got at home and it's not 00:49:32.789 --> 00:49:37.730 going to be favorable. But I remember I remember 00:49:37.730 --> 00:49:40.250 my own life testing mom when we were out and 00:49:40.250 --> 00:49:43.610 about. And I don't know if we left early what 00:49:43.610 --> 00:49:46.429 we were doing, but I remember knowing when we 00:49:46.429 --> 00:49:50.130 left it was a big deal. And I'm getting it. When 00:49:50.130 --> 00:49:54.389 we get home and I did. And I got it again when 00:49:54.389 --> 00:50:00.190 dad got home. So be mindful of that. If it's 00:50:00.190 --> 00:50:02.409 going to be a big ordeal, you may need to get 00:50:02.409 --> 00:50:06.690 out of there and go deal with it. But choosing 00:50:06.690 --> 00:50:09.929 your battles, what do I mean by that? I mean, 00:50:11.909 --> 00:50:15.289 just be mindful of your kids, where they're at, 00:50:15.329 --> 00:50:18.610 and the situation. You don't have to make a huge 00:50:18.610 --> 00:50:23.050 deal out of everything. Sometimes you do, those 00:50:23.050 --> 00:50:26.130 certain things. But just be mindful of the battles 00:50:26.130 --> 00:50:28.469 that you pick sometimes because you should know 00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:32.340 If we go down this road, this is going to be 00:50:32.340 --> 00:50:34.980 a big ordeal for this kid. Every time we've dealt 00:50:34.980 --> 00:50:39.219 with this, it's been a big battle. Am I ready 00:50:39.219 --> 00:50:44.980 for it? Is it necessary? If it is, then you better 00:50:44.980 --> 00:50:50.940 go full on. But don't be silly. Don't be foolish 00:50:50.940 --> 00:50:56.159 in dealing with your children. Know your children. 00:50:56.329 --> 00:50:59.070 I'll give this example also, not in that regard, 00:50:59.170 --> 00:51:02.750 but just in knowing your children. Caleb was 00:51:02.750 --> 00:51:07.170 a ball of energy and never wanted to leave, no 00:51:07.170 --> 00:51:09.250 matter where we were. He was playing with his 00:51:09.250 --> 00:51:13.250 cousins, his friends, and every time we left, 00:51:13.269 --> 00:51:15.909 it was a huge ordeal. I had to spank him just 00:51:15.909 --> 00:51:18.210 about every time and I was like, I don't know 00:51:18.210 --> 00:51:22.869 what to do. But I had to spank him because I'd 00:51:22.869 --> 00:51:25.610 say it's time to go when he'd throw a fit. then 00:51:25.610 --> 00:51:27.949 one day I said to him five minutes early I said 00:51:27.949 --> 00:51:31.769 hey we got to leave in a few minutes and he said 00:51:31.769 --> 00:51:35.510 okay he went and played his heart out I guess 00:51:35.510 --> 00:51:37.309 for the next few minutes and I said hey it's 00:51:37.309 --> 00:51:41.369 time to go and he said all right and off we went 00:51:41.369 --> 00:51:43.010 and I thought well that was the greatest thing 00:51:43.010 --> 00:51:45.550 ever right there we're just going I don't even 00:51:45.550 --> 00:51:50.429 have spanking and from then on I always said 00:51:50.429 --> 00:51:53.349 hey we got to leave in a few minutes And he was 00:51:53.349 --> 00:51:55.309 just like, it's just like it allowed his mind 00:51:55.309 --> 00:51:59.070 to wrap around the fact that the playing was 00:51:59.070 --> 00:52:03.150 gonna end. But know your children and deal with 00:52:03.150 --> 00:52:07.050 them accordingly. Know what to do, what not to 00:52:07.050 --> 00:52:10.170 do. And if you can do those things to make life 00:52:10.170 --> 00:52:12.909 enjoyable and easy with them, then fine. There's 00:52:12.909 --> 00:52:15.889 nothing wrong with that. Again, we're not just 00:52:15.889 --> 00:52:18.130 giving into them. I'm not saying that. I hope 00:52:18.130 --> 00:52:21.809 we understand that. But know your children. Know 00:52:21.809 --> 00:52:25.730 what sets them off. Know those things that are 00:52:25.730 --> 00:52:29.210 hard for them. And try to be mindful of that 00:52:29.210 --> 00:52:31.429 as we deal with them, as we discipline them. 00:52:32.550 --> 00:52:36.289 We don't just want to, you know, make their lives 00:52:36.289 --> 00:52:39.809 miserable for no reason. We want to teach them 00:52:39.809 --> 00:52:43.150 and train them in a way that is pleasing to the 00:52:43.150 --> 00:52:47.210 Lord. So know them. It goes without saying, never 00:52:47.210 --> 00:52:50.559 deal with them in anger. Alright? Don't deal 00:52:50.559 --> 00:52:53.920 with your children in anger. If that means you've 00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:55.840 got to sit down yourself for a couple minutes 00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:59.099 and gather yourself together, then so be it. 00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:02.599 Deal with your own issues and then deal with 00:53:02.599 --> 00:53:05.300 your children. But if you're angry and fuming, 00:53:05.659 --> 00:53:08.300 it's not a good time to spank them. Send them 00:53:08.300 --> 00:53:09.980 to their room. Say, I'm going to come get you 00:53:09.980 --> 00:53:11.539 in a few minutes and we're going to deal with 00:53:11.539 --> 00:53:16.860 this. Deal with your own sin. Settle down. Get 00:53:16.860 --> 00:53:20.019 your mind right. and deal with them in the way 00:53:20.019 --> 00:53:23.480 that you should in love and concern in a right 00:53:23.480 --> 00:53:28.800 way. A warning then to you grandparents, to myself, 00:53:29.659 --> 00:53:33.320 to you aunts and uncles. Don't hinder. Don't 00:53:33.320 --> 00:53:37.940 hinder these parents. Oh, he doesn't really need 00:53:37.940 --> 00:53:42.900 a spanking. He didn't mean that. Oh, he's fine. 00:53:42.940 --> 00:53:45.179 Don't worry about that. I know he told you no, 00:53:45.320 --> 00:53:49.420 but come on. We're at grandma and grandpa's house. 00:53:50.679 --> 00:53:54.840 Don't be that. Don't be like that. That's how 00:53:54.840 --> 00:54:04.440 my dad always was. Oh, he's fine, Tim. Just kidding. 00:54:06.239 --> 00:54:09.019 But don't be like that. Encourage these new parents. 00:54:09.480 --> 00:54:12.800 Encourage your brothers and sisters to deal with 00:54:12.800 --> 00:54:16.360 their children in a good way. It's a good thing. 00:54:16.719 --> 00:54:21.079 Help them in that Don't be a hindrance to them 00:54:21.079 --> 00:54:24.719 All right Encourage them. It's difficult being 00:54:24.719 --> 00:54:28.139 parents guys. It's a hard thing. It's a it's 00:54:28.139 --> 00:54:31.679 a joy. It's a blessing It's wonderful, but it's 00:54:31.679 --> 00:54:37.739 hard. It's hard work and so Press on it be diligent 00:54:37.739 --> 00:54:41.199 Ask for counsel. I don't know if I said this 00:54:41.199 --> 00:54:43.519 maybe I didn't say we don't get counsel from 00:54:43.519 --> 00:54:45.590 the world If you're getting counsel on how to 00:54:45.590 --> 00:54:48.090 deal with your newborns, how to deal with your 00:54:48.090 --> 00:54:52.289 children from Facebook and Instagram and TikTok 00:54:52.289 --> 00:54:57.590 and your neighbor. No, we don't go there. Dave 00:54:57.590 --> 00:55:00.070 said something. Dave just said this was that 00:55:00.070 --> 00:55:02.250 Wednesday or the Wednesday before he just said 00:55:02.250 --> 00:55:04.250 something. It wasn't in the context of parenting, 00:55:04.250 --> 00:55:07.010 but it was in the context of counseling. Some 00:55:07.010 --> 00:55:10.190 other things we don't go to the world. If that's 00:55:10.190 --> 00:55:14.110 where you're going. Get out of there. Alright? 00:55:15.010 --> 00:55:18.210 We go to the Word of God. We go to those older 00:55:18.210 --> 00:55:21.130 and wiser and experienced in the church. That's 00:55:21.130 --> 00:55:23.309 where we receive our counsel and our instruction. 00:55:24.510 --> 00:55:26.750 And to those of us who are giving counsel and 00:55:26.750 --> 00:55:28.489 instruction, you better be giving it according 00:55:28.489 --> 00:55:30.570 to the Word and not according to the world's 00:55:30.570 --> 00:55:38.769 philosophies. Counsel comes from God. So, let's 00:55:38.769 --> 00:55:45.909 be clear on that. Be clear on that. Eh.