WEBVTT 00:00:01.439 --> 00:00:08.400 So we looked last week at Ephesians So I'm going 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:13.259 to read that again here as we begin Ephesians 00:00:13.259 --> 00:00:19.519 6 and verse 4 Says fathers do not provoke your 00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:23.480 children to anger But bring them up in the discipline 00:00:23.480 --> 00:00:26.559 and instruction of the Lord. And so if you remember 00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:30.850 we talked about provoking our children I gave 00:00:30.850 --> 00:00:34.070 you a list of some things that tend to provoke 00:00:34.070 --> 00:00:37.689 our children as we try to raise them. We talked 00:00:37.689 --> 00:00:39.950 about this word discipline, that it's not speaking 00:00:39.950 --> 00:00:44.450 here just of spanking or correction, but it is 00:00:44.450 --> 00:00:48.969 all aspects of our children's lives. So instruction 00:00:48.969 --> 00:00:51.310 and correction, teaching, all of those different 00:00:51.310 --> 00:00:55.630 things. It's not just spanking. It includes that. 00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:58.780 But it's not limited to that, this word discipline. 00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:03.000 So we talked about that. And then we talked about 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:08.400 some ways that we do discipline and instruct 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:11.299 our children in the ways of the Lord, how we 00:01:11.299 --> 00:01:19.540 can do that. There are a few things that I want 00:01:19.540 --> 00:01:23.359 to add to that this morning, but before we do... 00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:28.319 What I thought about this week in regard to fathers 00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:34.260 is God is our father. So we said this before 00:01:34.260 --> 00:01:37.620 when we dealt with what is a man, we talked about 00:01:37.620 --> 00:01:41.719 a man as someone or should be someone who is 00:01:41.719 --> 00:01:48.859 seeking to reflect God in his life. the attributes 00:01:48.859 --> 00:01:51.040 of God, we talked about the communicable attributes 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:53.480 of God, those are things that we should have 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:57.819 and that we should exhibit in our life. And so 00:01:57.819 --> 00:02:02.040 as fathers, if we want to be a godly father, 00:02:02.500 --> 00:02:05.840 who is it that is our example? It's our heavenly 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:09.879 father. He is our example of being a father. 00:02:10.740 --> 00:02:12.780 And so I think we've mentioned that, but I'd 00:02:12.780 --> 00:02:16.240 like to say a few more things with regard to 00:02:16.240 --> 00:02:20.300 that this morning. So, again, if we think of 00:02:20.300 --> 00:02:23.039 God and we think of who He is, we see Him as 00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:26.240 faithful, fulfilling His Word, and we've mentioned 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:30.439 that. We've talked about, as fathers, we have 00:02:30.439 --> 00:02:33.060 to do those things that we say we're going to 00:02:33.060 --> 00:02:37.840 do. We have to be faithful to do whatever it 00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:42.520 is. If it's spanking our children, if we've said, 00:02:43.139 --> 00:02:44.759 if you do this, you're going to get spanking, 00:02:44.860 --> 00:02:47.099 we've got to be faithful to then spank them. 00:02:47.319 --> 00:02:51.520 If we say we're going to, you know, on your birthday 00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:53.840 we're going to the park, then we better be at 00:02:53.840 --> 00:02:57.780 the park on the birthday, whatever it is. Faithful 00:02:57.780 --> 00:03:02.819 in that regard. But that faithfulness extends 00:03:02.819 --> 00:03:05.580 further than just our word. It's faithfulness 00:03:05.580 --> 00:03:07.840 in doing the things that we should be doing. 00:03:08.280 --> 00:03:11.560 And so teaching, instructing, being faithful 00:03:11.560 --> 00:03:16.620 in those things. Being true, just, being a provider. 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:21.599 a protector all of those things God is those 00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:25.979 things to us he is he is that faithful solid 00:03:25.979 --> 00:03:28.300 rock right if you think of that I thought of 00:03:28.300 --> 00:03:32.419 that this week in the Psalms there so often you 00:03:32.419 --> 00:03:35.259 are my rock my fortress my protector my shield 00:03:35.259 --> 00:03:37.960 all those all of those things that is God to 00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:41.639 us as our father and we should be those things 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:45.740 to our children in this in again God, of course, 00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:48.259 I'm not saying that we are gods to our children, 00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:51.240 but I'm saying we should reflect those things. 00:03:51.819 --> 00:03:55.000 We should be that solid rock that they can come 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:58.500 to, that they can rely upon, that shield, that 00:03:58.500 --> 00:04:03.460 protector, that guards, that keeps. So as we 00:04:03.460 --> 00:04:05.580 think of being fathers, those are things that 00:04:05.580 --> 00:04:12.710 we want to be to our children. I thought also 00:04:12.710 --> 00:04:19.829 just of accessibility. This idea that when can 00:04:19.829 --> 00:04:24.110 we come? When can we come to our Father? At any 00:04:24.110 --> 00:04:29.209 time. And what can we ask of Him? Anything. Right? 00:04:29.870 --> 00:04:32.230 And so we should be that to our children. Our 00:04:32.230 --> 00:04:34.430 children should know that they can come to us 00:04:34.430 --> 00:04:38.750 day or night. Any moment. They can come to us 00:04:38.750 --> 00:04:43.509 even when they've sinned. And we are going to 00:04:43.509 --> 00:04:46.910 receive them. Yes, there may be correction. There 00:04:46.910 --> 00:04:50.490 may be a spanking involved. But they should know, 00:04:50.709 --> 00:04:53.269 Mom and Dad love me. Dad loves me even though 00:04:53.269 --> 00:04:55.310 he's going to give me a spanking. And I can come 00:04:55.310 --> 00:05:00.410 to him and say, hey, I failed here. And I'm coming 00:05:00.410 --> 00:05:04.209 to you to let you know, and so on and so forth. 00:05:04.569 --> 00:05:06.850 That is the relationship that we want to develop 00:05:06.850 --> 00:05:09.610 with our children as well. that they can come 00:05:09.610 --> 00:05:14.050 to us at any time we need to be accessible and 00:05:14.050 --> 00:05:19.449 so some of us this may be natural to us some 00:05:19.449 --> 00:05:22.930 of us it's not so much i think of myself i'm 00:05:22.930 --> 00:05:26.750 not i'm not this cuddly teddy bear kind of guy 00:05:26.750 --> 00:05:30.189 and so i have to be i have to work at this this 00:05:30.189 --> 00:05:34.449 is not just a natural thing so to speak for me 00:05:34.449 --> 00:05:37.889 amanda of course she is she is that And it's 00:05:37.889 --> 00:05:40.509 easy for the kids. It always was for them to 00:05:40.509 --> 00:05:43.509 go to her. But for me, this is not something 00:05:43.509 --> 00:05:46.949 that just was natural to me. And so as fathers, 00:05:47.050 --> 00:05:50.769 we need to be mindful of that. We need to develop 00:05:50.769 --> 00:05:54.110 that. We need to encourage that in our children. 00:05:54.850 --> 00:05:59.589 That yes, we may have this somewhat harsh exterior, 00:05:59.589 --> 00:06:03.269 but they should know we're not harsh to them. 00:06:04.290 --> 00:06:08.189 We're loving we're caring we want them to come 00:06:08.189 --> 00:06:11.449 to us and so that is something that we need to 00:06:11.449 --> 00:06:16.470 develop as Fathers and be mindful of Again, if 00:06:16.470 --> 00:06:18.990 you're if you're already bent that way then great. 00:06:19.029 --> 00:06:22.230 That's wonderful If you're not you've got to 00:06:22.230 --> 00:06:29.149 be again intentional in that to be that way Honor 00:06:29.149 --> 00:06:31.790 fear and respect we talked about this the fear 00:06:31.790 --> 00:06:36.810 of the Lord and so How is it that we fear the 00:06:36.810 --> 00:06:44.310 Lord? It's not that we're scared of God. It's 00:06:44.310 --> 00:06:48.430 honor. It's respect. A reverence. A desire to 00:06:48.430 --> 00:06:53.689 please. A desire to follow His commands. We looked 00:06:53.689 --> 00:06:57.189 at this when we went through Peter there, but 00:06:57.189 --> 00:07:00.490 so often through the Scriptures, you see fear 00:07:00.490 --> 00:07:05.019 of the Lord... And what's followed? Do His commands. 00:07:05.319 --> 00:07:09.639 Fear the Lord. Serve Him. Fear the Lord. Be this 00:07:09.639 --> 00:07:13.040 way. Okay? And so that's our desire. We want 00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:16.779 to fear the Lord and live accordingly. And so 00:07:16.779 --> 00:07:18.639 that's what our children should want. That's 00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:26.939 what we want to encourage them in is this honor, 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:32.639 respect, reverence, and a love for us as fathers, 00:07:32.779 --> 00:07:35.759 that they want to do these things. They want 00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:39.939 to do what we tell them to do. They want to please 00:07:39.939 --> 00:07:43.860 us in these things. And so just as that relationship 00:07:43.860 --> 00:07:46.360 is with our Heavenly Father, we want to develop 00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:49.180 that relationship with our children. Again, God 00:07:49.180 --> 00:07:51.920 is our example. He is that perfect Father for 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:56.579 us. And we want to emulate Him as fathers to 00:07:56.579 --> 00:07:59.620 our children. Along with this, though, there 00:07:59.620 --> 00:08:04.160 is a fear of punishment when we disobey. And 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:07.819 so that also is a good fear. Again, it's not 00:08:07.819 --> 00:08:11.300 a fear of abuse and I'm scared of Dad, but it's 00:08:11.300 --> 00:08:14.500 a fear that I know that I've sinned and there 00:08:14.500 --> 00:08:19.459 are consequences for that. Hebrews talks about 00:08:19.459 --> 00:08:21.540 the discipline of the Lord, the chastening of 00:08:21.540 --> 00:08:24.519 the Lord. As His children, if He loves us, He 00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:28.500 is going to discipline and chasten us. And as 00:08:28.500 --> 00:08:32.279 Christians, we should want that. We should be 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.519 thankful that that comes our way when we do fall 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:40.379 into sin. And so we need to also have that with 00:08:40.379 --> 00:08:43.740 our children, that they should know it's not 00:08:43.740 --> 00:08:48.240 okay to sin. It's not okay to disobey. It's not 00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:52.240 okay to fail in whatever it is that they're doing. 00:08:53.300 --> 00:08:55.519 There's going to be consequences for that. There 00:08:55.519 --> 00:09:02.019 should be a fear of discipline. That's a healthy 00:09:02.019 --> 00:09:09.200 thing. That's a good thing. Again, I just bring 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:12.980 this up, and it's this with everything. The world 00:09:12.980 --> 00:09:16.559 sees that as crazy. The world sees that as abuse. 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:20.220 Oh, your children are going to fear? Yes, they're 00:09:20.220 --> 00:09:23.110 going to fear. They're going to fear doing wrong. 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:26.429 And you see that in society. No one fears that. 00:09:26.970 --> 00:09:30.070 There is no justice. There's no repercussions 00:09:30.070 --> 00:09:36.169 for wrongdoing. And again, it begins in the home. 00:09:36.769 --> 00:09:39.169 There was nothing in the home. There's nothing 00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:43.210 in society. And there's chaos because of it. 00:09:43.610 --> 00:09:47.149 So there is a good and a healthy fear in our 00:09:47.149 --> 00:09:51.450 homes that our children have. for us as fathers. 00:09:56.929 --> 00:10:01.509 Okay. Now, along these same lines, I was reminded 00:10:01.509 --> 00:10:08.809 of this. You think of this relationship that 00:10:08.809 --> 00:10:13.090 we have with God, that we come, we ask, He tells 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:15.570 us to come and to ask, you know, what good thing 00:10:15.570 --> 00:10:17.750 will He withhold from us? All of those wonderful 00:10:17.750 --> 00:10:21.009 promises that we have in the Word. And yet there 00:10:21.009 --> 00:10:23.909 is also this idea of we don't get everything 00:10:23.909 --> 00:10:28.269 that we want, right? Ask according to His will 00:10:28.269 --> 00:10:32.429 and He'll give it to you. And so there should 00:10:32.429 --> 00:10:34.549 be that in the home as well. Just because our 00:10:34.549 --> 00:10:36.870 kids want something doesn't mean they get it. 00:10:37.369 --> 00:10:40.350 The word no is a good and healthy and wonderful 00:10:40.350 --> 00:10:47.429 word that we should be using constantly. And 00:10:47.429 --> 00:10:51.889 it doesn't matter. I was thinking of this years 00:10:51.889 --> 00:10:54.350 ago. I think it was Michael came to me one time. 00:10:55.110 --> 00:10:57.350 We were sitting at lunch. Dad was sitting there 00:10:57.350 --> 00:10:59.289 and he came and asked me for a piece of gum. 00:10:59.470 --> 00:11:02.750 He was little. And I said, no, you don't need 00:11:02.750 --> 00:11:08.120 a gum. And dad says, why'd you tell him no? I 00:11:08.120 --> 00:11:10.539 said, because he doesn't need it. Was it going 00:11:10.539 --> 00:11:13.299 to hurt him to have it? No, it was fine. He's 00:11:13.299 --> 00:11:16.080 had gum all the time. But he doesn't need it. 00:11:16.179 --> 00:11:18.399 And so I just said, no, you don't need it. You're 00:11:18.399 --> 00:11:21.759 fine. Go buy what you're business. Go play. Off 00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:26.820 he went. It was fine. Do you see that? Just because 00:11:26.820 --> 00:11:29.480 he wants it doesn't mean he has to have it. And 00:11:29.480 --> 00:11:31.600 just because I can give it to him doesn't mean 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:34.139 I should give it to him all the time. It's good 00:11:34.139 --> 00:11:37.419 for him to know. That he's not always going to 00:11:37.419 --> 00:11:40.279 get everything that he wants. And it's good then 00:11:40.279 --> 00:11:43.000 that he has this attitude of, so well, oh well, 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:46.279 I asked. Didn't get it. I'm going to go about 00:11:46.279 --> 00:11:49.019 my business. I'm going to go play. That's the 00:11:49.019 --> 00:11:50.759 relationship that we should have with our children. 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:53.799 They know they can come to us. The answer isn't 00:11:53.799 --> 00:11:55.899 always going to be yes, but they know they can 00:11:55.899 --> 00:12:00.100 come and ask. And that's a good thing, to give 00:12:00.100 --> 00:12:04.480 them the yes and to give them the no. Just as 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:09.929 it is with... Along those same lines, I was thinking, 00:12:10.129 --> 00:12:12.590 what is the point of that? Well, it teaches contentment. 00:12:12.889 --> 00:12:15.690 It teaches them that they can be content without 00:12:15.690 --> 00:12:19.289 these other things. He can be content without 00:12:19.289 --> 00:12:22.549 that piece of gum. He can go about his day and 00:12:22.549 --> 00:12:28.230 be happy and joyful and enjoy the rest of the 00:12:28.230 --> 00:12:33.230 day. And so, doing without is a good thing. It 00:12:33.230 --> 00:12:40.309 teaches contentment. teaches our children those 00:12:40.309 --> 00:12:43.629 good qualities that we want as believers to be 00:12:43.629 --> 00:12:46.350 content with where we are and with what the Lord 00:12:46.350 --> 00:12:56.889 has given us. Okay, so this whole idea then of 00:12:56.889 --> 00:13:00.210 coming to the Father, I have here that God is 00:13:00.210 --> 00:13:12.279 relational. If you think of, again, all of those 00:13:12.279 --> 00:13:15.059 different things, all of those things that God 00:13:15.059 --> 00:13:18.820 has done for us, the sacrifices, we've heard 00:13:18.820 --> 00:13:21.220 it this morning from Brian in the Lord's Supper, 00:13:21.720 --> 00:13:26.840 the giving of His Son. Why? To have a relationship 00:13:26.840 --> 00:13:29.419 with us that we may have fellowship with Him. 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:34.980 This idea of relationship and this idea of fellowship, 00:13:35.259 --> 00:13:41.490 that is essential. With our children if we are 00:13:41.490 --> 00:13:47.350 going to be good fathers Then we have to develop 00:13:47.350 --> 00:13:53.049 relationships with our children God has again 00:13:53.049 --> 00:13:55.070 God is our example in this what does he said? 00:13:55.250 --> 00:13:57.289 What does he said to us in his word dad talked 00:13:57.289 --> 00:14:00.490 about it on Wednesday? Fellowship he desires 00:14:00.490 --> 00:14:04.870 fellowship He's told us come unto me seek me. 00:14:04.870 --> 00:14:07.330 You'll find me all of those wonderful promises 00:14:07.330 --> 00:14:10.409 that we have of relationship, of fellowship, 00:14:11.210 --> 00:14:14.929 of togetherness there. That's the same in our 00:14:14.929 --> 00:14:18.730 home with our children. But it doesn't just happen. 00:14:20.789 --> 00:14:24.669 At least it doesn't happen and is as good as 00:14:24.669 --> 00:14:27.110 it could be. Sure, there's going to be a relationship 00:14:27.110 --> 00:14:28.629 there if you're in the home with your child. 00:14:28.649 --> 00:14:30.570 There's going to be something there. Whether 00:14:30.570 --> 00:14:32.830 or not it's going to be all that great, that's 00:14:32.830 --> 00:14:37.629 another story. We want to develop good, healthy 00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:41.139 relationships with our children. So what's involved 00:14:41.139 --> 00:14:48.240 in that? I have a few things. Time. That's essential. 00:14:48.379 --> 00:14:51.580 That is perhaps the most essential part of it. 00:14:52.419 --> 00:14:54.600 And we heard it on Wednesday, right? How are 00:14:54.600 --> 00:14:56.399 we going to have a relationship with God if we 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:00.799 don't spend time with God? We're not. So time 00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:05.240 is essential. We have got to make time and take 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:11.549 time for our children. So I have a list for you, 00:15:11.909 --> 00:15:19.570 as I like to do. You've got family time in general, 00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:22.730 okay? So you've got family time. What is that? 00:15:22.769 --> 00:15:24.289 What does that mean? What does that look like? 00:15:24.570 --> 00:15:27.870 Well, you've got dinner, all right? So you're 00:15:27.870 --> 00:15:30.190 sitting around the dinner table together and 00:15:30.190 --> 00:15:34.070 you have fellowship there. You talk of the day, 00:15:34.809 --> 00:15:39.379 you ask questions of one another. You joke around 00:15:39.379 --> 00:15:44.840 a little bit. You have some time together, okay? 00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:49.700 What else is there then? Well, you have game 00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:56.419 time. So, my wife, of course, is a wonderful 00:15:56.419 --> 00:15:58.899 help in this because she loves games way more 00:15:58.899 --> 00:16:04.409 than I do. At least, inside games. And so what 00:16:04.409 --> 00:16:05.990 does that involve? If you're going to develop 00:16:05.990 --> 00:16:07.669 some relationships with your children, you better 00:16:07.669 --> 00:16:10.389 be playing some games with them. And are games 00:16:10.389 --> 00:16:13.429 worthless? No, they're not. They're a wonderful 00:16:13.429 --> 00:16:17.370 tool of teaching and instruction. Right? And 00:16:17.370 --> 00:16:19.330 so you've got all sorts of games. You've got 00:16:19.330 --> 00:16:23.250 card games, you've got board games. I wrote down 00:16:23.250 --> 00:16:28.610 a couple things here. What do those teach they 00:16:28.610 --> 00:16:31.470 teach logic they teach reasoning strategies all 00:16:31.470 --> 00:16:34.009 of those things. It's it's it's a mental instruction 00:16:34.009 --> 00:16:37.370 as well It's growing right because when dad wins 00:16:37.370 --> 00:16:39.690 every time they're like, why are you why do you 00:16:39.690 --> 00:16:43.690 win dad? Well, because this this and this I'm 00:16:43.690 --> 00:16:45.730 thinking about this and they're like, oh right. 00:16:45.809 --> 00:16:48.809 Yeah, that makes sense I've got a plan got a 00:16:48.809 --> 00:16:53.210 plan for this It teaches them to lose Right. 00:16:53.570 --> 00:16:58.580 I don't all I don't didn't always win as I could 00:16:58.580 --> 00:17:03.299 have, perhaps. But I won plenty. And it teaches 00:17:03.299 --> 00:17:06.400 them to lose, and that's a good thing. Failure. 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:13.200 Good attitude, right? I'll never forget some 00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:15.319 of the games, the sports games that we would 00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:21.680 play. And if a bad attitude arose, again, I would 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:23.799 deal with that, but there was no way they were 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:25.890 going to win that. You can't let them win and 00:17:25.890 --> 00:17:28.809 have a bad attitude. They're definitely losing 00:17:28.809 --> 00:17:31.009 now. They're going to have some major instruction. 00:17:32.410 --> 00:17:37.170 And loss, and perhaps some spanking. But we teach 00:17:37.170 --> 00:17:39.670 all of those things. We teach all of those things 00:17:39.670 --> 00:17:42.549 as we're together, as we're playing games, as 00:17:42.549 --> 00:17:44.529 we're doing these different things as a family. 00:17:45.289 --> 00:17:48.230 We teach teamwork, of course sports, right? That's 00:17:48.230 --> 00:17:51.460 a good thing. You're relying upon one another. 00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:53.380 All of those different things that go along with 00:17:53.380 --> 00:17:55.980 those. Those are all good things to experience 00:17:55.980 --> 00:18:00.359 in the family. Family time together. You develop 00:18:00.359 --> 00:18:04.880 relationships. You learn from one another. One 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:06.839 thing that we used to do was hide and seek tag 00:18:06.839 --> 00:18:10.339 inside. Turn off all the lights except for the 00:18:10.339 --> 00:18:13.480 bedroom light. And kids loved it. It was a great 00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:17.410 time together. It was fun. But there was teaching 00:18:17.410 --> 00:18:19.809 in that also because it wasn't always fun. They'd 00:18:19.809 --> 00:18:21.650 sometimes get upset with things and then you 00:18:21.650 --> 00:18:25.089 had to deal with it Those are all good opportunities 00:18:25.089 --> 00:18:29.809 to teach and to develop Relationship dad's fun. 00:18:29.809 --> 00:18:33.529 It's fun to be with dad Wrestling all of those 00:18:33.529 --> 00:18:36.509 different things are good and healthy things 00:18:36.509 --> 00:18:41.230 to spend time together with family devotions 00:18:41.230 --> 00:18:44.349 Feel like I'm beating this like it like a horse 00:18:44.349 --> 00:18:47.640 here But it is essential to have family devotions 00:18:47.640 --> 00:18:50.380 together. What's involved in our family devotions? 00:18:50.700 --> 00:18:53.099 It's basically like a little church service there 00:18:53.099 --> 00:18:57.079 in our home. That's how it was growing up and 00:18:57.079 --> 00:18:59.940 that's how it was in our home. We all sat down 00:18:59.940 --> 00:19:02.839 together. We would sing a few songs together. 00:19:03.539 --> 00:19:07.440 Again, teaching, instructing, singing, opening 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:10.680 your mouth, projecting your voice. We don't mumble 00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:13.740 and we all participate. Just like here. Just 00:19:13.740 --> 00:19:16.720 like at the meetings. So we're singing together. 00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:20.079 We're going to pray together. And there's going 00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:22.980 to be some type of instruction there. And so 00:19:22.980 --> 00:19:26.779 I brought some books that I'll show. There's 00:19:26.779 --> 00:19:28.720 all sorts of books out there. I shouldn't say 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:30.859 all sorts. There's books out there that are good. 00:19:31.059 --> 00:19:34.720 I mentioned a few previously. I'll mention one. 00:19:35.079 --> 00:19:38.640 Asking Father is a book. It's all about prayer. 00:19:39.140 --> 00:19:42.079 And that's a good little booklet. to read with 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:44.940 the kids. It teaches them of God and his faithfulness 00:19:44.940 --> 00:19:48.420 in his answering prayer. Opportunity to talk 00:19:48.420 --> 00:19:51.000 about things. Bird Life in Wington is one that 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:53.460 we used when we were kids, and we used it for 00:19:53.460 --> 00:19:56.720 our kids. Again, it's not this high theological 00:19:56.720 --> 00:20:00.299 book, but it's a biblical principle that is taught 00:20:00.299 --> 00:20:03.519 through these stories. The kids loved it, they 00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:06.160 enjoyed it, and we could then talk about that 00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.819 biblical principle. So that you have all of those 00:20:08.819 --> 00:20:10.940 things. You have children's story Bibles. Leading 00:20:10.940 --> 00:20:13.279 little ones to God was another one that we had. 00:20:13.640 --> 00:20:16.339 We had it growing up and we used it. And there's 00:20:16.339 --> 00:20:19.680 these other children's Bibles that give just 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:22.880 like a synopsis of the Old Testament stories 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:25.160 and things like that. And you can read those 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:30.119 and talk about those things. What else? Just 00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:32.279 the Bible, right? You can read the Bible. You 00:20:32.279 --> 00:20:35.240 can read the Proverbs are a wonderful opportunity 00:20:35.240 --> 00:20:39.259 there for family devotion. You can read half 00:20:39.259 --> 00:20:43.640 of a Proverb and talk about it. What's the writer 00:20:43.640 --> 00:20:47.799 here telling us? There's all sorts of instruction 00:20:47.799 --> 00:20:51.319 there for children. What to do and what not to 00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:55.339 do. Warnings. It's a wonderful opportunity there. 00:20:55.660 --> 00:20:59.140 Family devotions is central if you're going to 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:02.019 be a father. You've got to lead in that. You 00:21:02.019 --> 00:21:04.660 don't have to be a theologian to have some family 00:21:04.660 --> 00:21:09.299 devotions. You just got to be present. You've 00:21:09.299 --> 00:21:13.700 just got to see the value and do it. You young 00:21:13.700 --> 00:21:21.779 fathers, begin early. Begin early. And God will 00:21:21.779 --> 00:21:26.779 use it in their lives. What else? Reading together, 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:30.299 all right? And so, in our home, we'd have our 00:21:30.299 --> 00:21:33.359 family devotions and then we'd read. And so, 00:21:33.460 --> 00:21:35.039 we'd read Little House on the Prairie. We read 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:40.480 the whole series. We read the Rush Revere books, 00:21:41.079 --> 00:21:44.180 two out of the three, I think. Little history 00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:47.299 books, little story books. Kids liked them. We 00:21:47.299 --> 00:21:51.339 read God's Smuggler, the story of Brother Andrew, 00:21:51.519 --> 00:21:54.990 right? and smuggling Bibles in the communist 00:21:54.990 --> 00:21:57.869 countries there. I can't remember if we read 00:21:57.869 --> 00:21:59.690 the Pilgrim of Progress or not. We thought we 00:21:59.690 --> 00:22:05.130 did some. But there's all sorts of great little 00:22:05.130 --> 00:22:07.809 books out there that are interesting to the kids 00:22:07.809 --> 00:22:12.369 and are educational, instructive, and it's good. 00:22:13.289 --> 00:22:16.069 All of these things also are beneficial for your 00:22:16.069 --> 00:22:18.430 children because you're teaching them to pay 00:22:18.430 --> 00:22:21.250 attention. You're teaching them to sit quietly. 00:22:21.710 --> 00:22:25.150 You're teaching them that when someone else is 00:22:25.150 --> 00:22:28.809 talking, you need to pay attention, right? All 00:22:28.809 --> 00:22:33.190 sorts of life lessons go on there on the couch 00:22:33.190 --> 00:22:38.690 during family devotions. It's not just instruction 00:22:38.690 --> 00:22:41.309 from the Word. It's all sorts of instruction 00:22:41.309 --> 00:22:46.930 that goes on there. It is a wonderful, wonderful 00:22:46.930 --> 00:22:54.200 tool for our children. Now, what else? What else 00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:56.460 is it to take an interest in your children? I 00:22:56.460 --> 00:23:01.880 was always impressed by this guy. He had no interest 00:23:01.880 --> 00:23:07.140 at all in this topic, but his son took an interest 00:23:07.140 --> 00:23:11.180 in it. And so, he took an interest in it. He's 00:23:11.180 --> 00:23:13.480 like, my son's interested in this, it doesn't 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:17.359 interest me at all, but I'm gonna go ahead and 00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:22.559 delve in this with him, okay? Take an interest 00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:26.680 in what your children are interested in. Find 00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:30.500 out what that is. Whatever it might be. If it's 00:23:30.500 --> 00:23:34.599 science, get into science with them. If it's 00:23:34.599 --> 00:23:39.819 working on cars, learn about cars. Whatever it 00:23:39.819 --> 00:23:44.559 is, take an interest in their interests. If that 00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:49.000 scares you, here's a thought. Get them involved 00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:54.230 in your interests. And maybe you kill two birds 00:23:54.230 --> 00:23:58.150 with one stone right there, okay? So I think 00:23:58.150 --> 00:24:01.109 of when I started forging, the boys all wanted 00:24:01.109 --> 00:24:03.630 to be involved in that. And so we all went out 00:24:03.630 --> 00:24:06.970 there and took turns and we did it all. I was 00:24:06.970 --> 00:24:08.950 interested in baseball. That was my thing. That's 00:24:08.950 --> 00:24:12.650 what I love, my sport. And so we taught the kids 00:24:12.650 --> 00:24:15.930 baseball at a young age. And that was their sport. 00:24:16.549 --> 00:24:19.450 Again, they love all sports, but taking interest 00:24:19.450 --> 00:24:22.960 in their interests. Involve them in your interests. 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:26.559 Show that you love them and are concerned for 00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:29.900 them and have an interest in their lives. They'll 00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:33.000 know that. They'll know if dad is just like, 00:24:33.460 --> 00:24:36.400 whatever, it's just you and I don't care about 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.279 it. You don't want to be that guy. You don't 00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:42.059 want to be that father. I know fathers like that 00:24:42.059 --> 00:24:44.740 who took no interest in the interests of their 00:24:44.740 --> 00:24:46.819 children and their children have grown to resent 00:24:46.819 --> 00:24:50.200 that. And the relationship is fractured. and 00:24:50.200 --> 00:24:53.599 it's not healthy and there is just this schism 00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:58.380 there between father and son don't be like that 00:24:58.380 --> 00:25:01.539 take an interest in them again you can guide 00:25:01.539 --> 00:25:03.359 it right you don't want it to be an obsession 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:05.839 you don't want it to be sinful but you can guide 00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:09.259 and shape their interest in those things and 00:25:09.259 --> 00:25:11.920 have an influence in their life and show them 00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:15.380 that you love them and are concerned for them 00:25:15.380 --> 00:25:23.299 all right We also work then on developing a relationship 00:25:23.299 --> 00:25:27.440 as we work together So work is essential for 00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:31.339 raising children We've talked about being examples 00:25:31.339 --> 00:25:34.980 of that as fathers Scripture is clear that we 00:25:34.980 --> 00:25:38.180 are to work and to provide We have that that's 00:25:38.180 --> 00:25:41.079 not something that just comes naturally At least 00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:43.799 not to everybody it comes naturally to some some 00:25:43.799 --> 00:25:45.400 people are hard workers. That's just what they 00:25:45.400 --> 00:25:49.789 do And whether that's because they were trained 00:25:49.789 --> 00:25:52.130 in it at a young age or if that's just the way 00:25:52.130 --> 00:25:54.430 the Lord made them, I don't know always. But 00:25:54.430 --> 00:25:56.950 you have got to teach your children to work. 00:25:58.089 --> 00:26:00.789 It is not just going to come naturally to them. 00:26:01.509 --> 00:26:06.390 Think about it. What's enjoyable about it? It's 00:26:06.390 --> 00:26:12.069 hard. It's dirty a lot of times. It's taxing 00:26:12.069 --> 00:26:16.200 mentally, physically. What part of that is a 00:26:16.200 --> 00:26:19.880 kid gonna be like, oh man, that's for me. It 00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:21.960 doesn't happen very often. And so you have got 00:26:21.960 --> 00:26:25.859 to teach them. You've got to have projects for 00:26:25.859 --> 00:26:30.160 them. In our home, again, everybody's different 00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.559 and everybody doesn't have the same setup. We 00:26:33.559 --> 00:26:36.500 have the garden and everybody worked in the garden. 00:26:37.380 --> 00:26:39.740 I'm a flower guy. I don't know how many times 00:26:39.740 --> 00:26:41.980 I had to hear about, are we really making another 00:26:41.980 --> 00:26:45.470 flower bed, dad? Yeah, we are. Go get the rocks. 00:26:45.509 --> 00:26:48.329 Go get the dirt. Get the mulch. We're planting. 00:26:48.769 --> 00:26:52.190 We're transplanting. And we worked. We worked 00:26:52.190 --> 00:26:56.269 together. Saturdays was our big work day. We'd 00:26:56.269 --> 00:26:59.130 clear the backyard. We'd cut trees. We'd burn. 00:26:59.250 --> 00:27:01.309 We'd cut the grass. We'd do all of these different 00:27:01.309 --> 00:27:05.730 things outside. But it doesn't have to be just 00:27:05.730 --> 00:27:08.470 outdoors. They can have chores inside. They can 00:27:08.470 --> 00:27:11.339 clean toilets. They can do laundry, they can 00:27:11.339 --> 00:27:13.960 dust, they can do dishes, take out the trash, 00:27:15.019 --> 00:27:17.420 mop the floors, vacuum the floors, clean the 00:27:17.420 --> 00:27:22.220 walls, you name it. They should do all of those 00:27:22.220 --> 00:27:25.940 things and there should be encouragement and 00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:29.140 instruction and expectations in all of those 00:27:29.140 --> 00:27:32.819 things. It's not okay that it's hot outside and 00:27:32.819 --> 00:27:37.119 they don't want to work. Get on out there. They're 00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:39.440 able to do that. It teaches them endurance. It 00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:43.259 teaches them they can. It's important that your 00:27:43.259 --> 00:27:47.720 children know they can do whatever they want 00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:53.759 as far as being able to succeed. If you teach 00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:56.200 them to work, if you teach them how to learn, 00:27:56.259 --> 00:27:58.660 if you teach them how to read, the sky's the 00:27:58.660 --> 00:28:01.079 limit. It goes far as you want. If you don't 00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:03.759 want to go far, you don't have to. But if you 00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.750 want to and you have the ethic, And the desire 00:28:06.750 --> 00:28:11.490 can do whatever you want. It just requires work. 00:28:12.730 --> 00:28:15.490 Your children should know, teach them to work 00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:18.230 so that you can tell them one day, whatever you 00:28:18.230 --> 00:28:20.849 want, whatever you're interested in, go after 00:28:20.849 --> 00:28:24.170 it. And we'll support you in that, as long as 00:28:24.170 --> 00:28:28.009 it's a good thing, obviously. Teach them to work. 00:28:28.269 --> 00:28:32.190 Teach them diligence. Ways to teach. All those 00:28:32.190 --> 00:28:35.650 things at home, how about volunteering? Right 00:28:35.650 --> 00:28:37.890 that should be part of our lives as Christians 00:28:37.890 --> 00:28:43.829 volunteering in Well in our community there so 00:28:43.829 --> 00:28:46.390 our neighbors so we used to always shovel the 00:28:46.390 --> 00:28:48.109 neighbors driveway when the kids were little 00:28:48.109 --> 00:28:50.750 and Then when they got older, I didn't do it, 00:28:50.750 --> 00:28:53.970 but they would go over there and do it That's 00:28:53.970 --> 00:28:57.009 a great opportunity. You show the love of Christ 00:28:57.009 --> 00:29:02.079 there the concern teaching work, right? So volunteering 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:03.779 that way, moving people. I don't know how many 00:29:03.779 --> 00:29:05.819 people we had to move when I was a kid. It seemed 00:29:05.819 --> 00:29:08.119 like everybody in the church moved four times. 00:29:08.839 --> 00:29:13.940 And it was insane. But we were there. As miserable 00:29:13.940 --> 00:29:17.579 as it was as a kid, we were there moving everybody. 00:29:18.740 --> 00:29:23.380 That's a good thing. It's not enjoyable, always. 00:29:24.839 --> 00:29:29.720 But we're teaching. This is what we do. This 00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:32.819 is part of life in the church. This is part of 00:29:32.819 --> 00:29:36.900 family. This is a good thing, just as Christians, 00:29:37.140 --> 00:29:42.019 something that we do. So, helping in those ways. 00:29:49.579 --> 00:29:53.180 So, this is separate from developing a relationship, 00:29:53.220 --> 00:29:56.900 but I put this down here. But, again, we want 00:29:56.900 --> 00:30:01.039 to teach and train our kids in all ways. We want 00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:04.619 them to understand what it is to be a godly man, 00:30:04.819 --> 00:30:08.279 what it is to be a godly woman, what it is to 00:30:08.279 --> 00:30:11.759 be a Christian home, what it is to serve the 00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:14.819 Lord. And so all of those things that we've said, 00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:18.500 those all apply. And so I thought also of this, 00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:21.539 how about hospitality? Are we teaching our children 00:30:21.539 --> 00:30:25.660 hospitality? Is that a biblical principle? Yes, 00:30:25.660 --> 00:30:30.099 it is. A couple of verses, Romans 12 -13, Hebrews 00:30:30.099 --> 00:30:34.200 13, and 1 Peter 4 -9. They all speak of hospitality, 00:30:34.579 --> 00:30:38.140 being hospitable to one another. We should be 00:30:38.140 --> 00:30:40.759 teaching our children hospitality by having people 00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:45.559 in our homes. Again, it's not always enjoyable, 00:30:45.779 --> 00:30:49.240 is it? If you've had folks into your home enough, 00:30:49.359 --> 00:30:52.099 you'll know that sometimes it's really difficult. 00:30:52.799 --> 00:30:56.200 It's a real sacrifice. But what does it teach 00:30:56.200 --> 00:30:59.559 them? It teaches them sacrifice. It teaches them 00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:02.619 this is a loving thing to do. We're doing this 00:31:02.619 --> 00:31:06.200 not because we necessarily want to per se, but 00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:07.960 we're doing it because it's what the Lord would 00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:10.539 have us to do and we're doing it in obedience 00:31:10.539 --> 00:31:14.619 to Him. Out of love for Him, we're sacrificing 00:31:14.619 --> 00:31:19.880 our time, our money, our efforts here to invite 00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:22.819 these folks into our homes and to show them love. 00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:26.700 Again, that was displayed for us as children. 00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:31.960 We always had people in our house Christmas we'd 00:31:31.960 --> 00:31:35.480 have Strangers it coming over for Christmas people. 00:31:35.660 --> 00:31:38.720 We hardly knew it's a good thing to be hospitable 00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:42.180 to show the love of Christ in that way to people 00:31:42.180 --> 00:31:46.240 in the church and to People outside the church 00:31:46.240 --> 00:32:05.599 who we know So all of those things One thing 00:32:05.599 --> 00:32:08.480 that I mentioned last week that I want to talk 00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:17.079 about a little bit more is How should I say Well, 00:32:17.079 --> 00:32:20.160 I mentioned in the context of knowing our children 00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:26.500 knowing our children they're How they are what 00:32:26.500 --> 00:32:29.519 they're like so I mentioned, you know, are they 00:32:29.519 --> 00:32:32.650 are they those who just go with the flow? who 00:32:32.650 --> 00:32:35.049 don't really take a stand for right or wrong, 00:32:35.250 --> 00:32:38.829 they're easily influenced, things like that. 00:32:39.289 --> 00:32:42.690 So we should know our children in that way. And 00:32:42.690 --> 00:32:44.849 I want to make sure that we understand we guard 00:32:44.849 --> 00:32:49.890 our children. So just because our children seem 00:32:49.890 --> 00:32:53.190 to really have a good foundation and stand firm 00:32:53.190 --> 00:32:55.430 and aren't easily swayed, that doesn't mean we 00:32:55.430 --> 00:32:58.289 just send them out. They're not little missionaries 00:32:58.289 --> 00:33:01.730 going out, you know, no, that's not it. What 00:33:01.730 --> 00:33:05.089 I mean by that is they may have a little bit 00:33:05.089 --> 00:33:10.009 more freedom. So for example, when our boys, 00:33:10.490 --> 00:33:13.170 we saw how they were, we let them play baseball 00:33:13.170 --> 00:33:16.789 because I didn't think they were going to be 00:33:16.789 --> 00:33:19.869 easily influenced to go after these other things. 00:33:20.329 --> 00:33:25.289 Now if my son was rebellious and showed no interest 00:33:25.289 --> 00:33:30.130 in following my rules and... Was not someone 00:33:30.130 --> 00:33:32.450 I could really trust I'm not sending him out 00:33:32.450 --> 00:33:35.650 to a bunch of boys to play legion baseball But 00:33:35.650 --> 00:33:37.789 I thought I could trust them with these things 00:33:37.789 --> 00:33:41.690 and so we did You that's what I mean by you've 00:33:41.690 --> 00:33:43.809 got to know them you got to know what they're 00:33:43.809 --> 00:33:47.769 like and What what what is going to be harmful? 00:33:47.869 --> 00:33:49.990 What is going to be helpful? What you've got 00:33:49.990 --> 00:33:56.950 to know them? You've got to guard them You got 00:33:56.950 --> 00:34:02.609 to know who their friends are It's fine to have 00:34:02.609 --> 00:34:05.650 friends, but the amount of time that you're going 00:34:05.650 --> 00:34:07.849 to spend with those, for example, the neighbor 00:34:07.849 --> 00:34:09.789 boys, are you going to let your kids play with 00:34:09.789 --> 00:34:14.309 the neighbors? You've got to make that decision, 00:34:14.349 --> 00:34:17.010 right? You've got to come to that determination. 00:34:18.829 --> 00:34:21.590 They seem like good folks. Yeah, they're not 00:34:21.590 --> 00:34:25.110 perfect. I think it'll be okay for them to play 00:34:25.110 --> 00:34:28.690 out in the yard with the kids. You see him out 00:34:28.690 --> 00:34:30.650 there accustomed and screaming mom and dad always 00:34:30.650 --> 00:34:33.309 yelling at him. I don't know that you're gonna 00:34:33.309 --> 00:34:36.190 go over there and play Maybe a little Johnny 00:34:36.190 --> 00:34:38.289 wants to come over here and we can supervise 00:34:38.289 --> 00:34:41.269 him and we can correct him when he's wrong. Okay? 00:34:41.769 --> 00:34:44.429 Yeah, we can do that It's really not letting 00:34:44.429 --> 00:34:46.969 you go over there and spend the night all of 00:34:46.969 --> 00:34:50.590 those things so we have to be mindful of that 00:34:50.590 --> 00:34:55.409 knowing our children and Treating them appropriately 00:34:56.130 --> 00:34:58.329 Again, we want them to grow up. We want them 00:34:58.329 --> 00:35:00.610 to mature. We want them to come into contact 00:35:00.610 --> 00:35:04.230 with different things in a good way, in a controlled 00:35:04.230 --> 00:35:07.570 environment. But we're not just sending them 00:35:07.570 --> 00:35:14.130 out there. So I hope that's clear. I hope that 00:35:14.130 --> 00:35:19.110 is helpful. Along these same lines of guarding 00:35:19.110 --> 00:35:21.869 our children, screen time. I feel like I just 00:35:21.869 --> 00:35:25.659 have to say something about this, okay? So, what 00:35:25.659 --> 00:35:28.500 have you got? You've got phones, you've got movies, 00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:34.500 you've got television, you've got video games, 00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:37.059 forgot about that almost. All of these different 00:35:37.059 --> 00:35:39.800 things. Are all of those things wicked and evil? 00:35:43.239 --> 00:35:49.380 Maybe not. It's hard to say. They have to be 00:35:49.380 --> 00:35:52.539 used appropriately, right? Is it okay to play 00:35:52.539 --> 00:35:54.719 a video game? Yes. There's nothing wrong with 00:35:54.719 --> 00:35:57.619 a video game. If that's your whole life, and 00:35:57.619 --> 00:36:00.300 you can't work, or play outside, or do anything 00:36:00.300 --> 00:36:03.360 else, well that's a problem, right? And so you've 00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:07.539 got, I remember Mom, when we were young, we were, 00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:09.980 well I don't know about we, Iowa would have been 00:36:09.980 --> 00:36:14.320 a video game act. And I still am today. I'll 00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:16.019 start to play with the kids every now and then, 00:36:16.019 --> 00:36:18.699 and I gotta cut it off. But Mom was like, you 00:36:18.699 --> 00:36:21.260 got an hour. You got an hour to go play Atari. 00:36:22.139 --> 00:36:24.860 And that's it. I think we got an hour to watch 00:36:24.860 --> 00:36:27.579 some cartoons. An hour of Atari, an hour of cartoons, 00:36:27.800 --> 00:36:29.800 something like that. And then that was it. Our 00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:31.780 hour was up. Whether it was in the morning or 00:36:31.780 --> 00:36:34.639 the afternoon. When that time was done, the time 00:36:34.639 --> 00:36:39.500 was done. We need to be even more mindful in 00:36:39.500 --> 00:36:42.280 our society today. It's a whole lot worse than 00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:46.480 it was then. Kids with phones. You've got to 00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:48.880 have protections on there. You've got to make 00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:50.460 sure they're not seeing things they shouldn't 00:36:50.460 --> 00:36:52.599 see. You've got to make sure they're not sitting 00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:54.619 on the phone all day playing with their apps, 00:36:54.960 --> 00:36:57.159 playing with their games and all these other 00:36:57.159 --> 00:37:00.099 things. You've got to guard them. You've got 00:37:00.099 --> 00:37:04.340 to teach them that these things are tools to 00:37:04.340 --> 00:37:07.360 use. Your phone and all of these things, entertainment 00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:10.039 is fine. You've got to teach them the proper 00:37:10.039 --> 00:37:13.900 place and the use for all of those things. When 00:37:13.900 --> 00:37:17.539 you're sitting at home, Everybody shouldn't be 00:37:17.539 --> 00:37:21.199 on their phone together. Unless that's like, 00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:23.280 okay, hey, our family time is we're gonna have 00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:25.739 a half hour of phone time, and then we're gonna 00:37:25.739 --> 00:37:31.059 have real family time, fine. But family time 00:37:31.059 --> 00:37:34.699 isn't everybody's on their phone, nobody's communicating, 00:37:34.860 --> 00:37:36.480 nobody's looking at each other, nobody's talking. 00:37:36.599 --> 00:37:41.429 That's not family time. That's wasted time. So 00:37:41.429 --> 00:37:43.949 again, you've got to be mindful of all of those 00:37:43.949 --> 00:37:46.190 things. You've got to guard your children, you've 00:37:46.190 --> 00:37:48.130 got to teach your children, you've got to use 00:37:48.130 --> 00:37:53.210 these things appropriately. And, you know, we 00:37:53.210 --> 00:37:58.250 never let our kids get all those social media 00:37:58.250 --> 00:38:00.550 things when they were young. It was just, it 00:38:00.550 --> 00:38:02.769 wasn't, we never let them because there's so 00:38:02.769 --> 00:38:04.789 much filth on there and there's so many things 00:38:04.789 --> 00:38:08.309 to influence them. So be mindful of all of those 00:38:08.309 --> 00:38:10.730 things. I think some of them... Might have got 00:38:10.730 --> 00:38:17.469 something secretively. But we tried to be mindful 00:38:17.469 --> 00:38:19.969 of those things. And again, I'm no techie guy 00:38:19.969 --> 00:38:23.150 so it was difficult for me. But be mindful of 00:38:23.150 --> 00:38:27.730 that. You've got to be proactive in it. And very 00:38:27.730 --> 00:38:29.989 deliberate if you're going to help your children 00:38:29.989 --> 00:38:34.710 in this way. And to protect them from the evils 00:38:34.710 --> 00:38:52.400 that are out there. I want to just say this then 00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:59.340 in closing. I've said this before, and I'm going 00:38:59.340 --> 00:39:01.820 to say it again, and I'll probably say it again 00:39:01.820 --> 00:39:07.860 in the future. You men, fathers, are responsible 00:39:07.860 --> 00:39:12.019 for setting the tone of your home. It is up to 00:39:12.019 --> 00:39:18.960 you to do these things. You have got to lead 00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:21.519 a disciplined life if you want your children 00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:26.519 to lead a disciplined life. If you do nothing 00:39:26.519 --> 00:39:31.659 but sleep till noon, sit on your phone all day, 00:39:33.179 --> 00:39:34.739 on your days off, what do you think your kids 00:39:34.739 --> 00:39:38.860 are gonna do? They're gonna sleep all day, be 00:39:38.860 --> 00:39:41.559 on their phones the rest of the day, and accomplish 00:39:41.559 --> 00:39:44.980 nothing in their day off. If your discipline 00:39:44.980 --> 00:39:48.300 is I go to work in the morning, five days a week, 00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:50.679 and then I come home and I crash on the couch, 00:39:51.219 --> 00:39:54.519 that's all you're teaching your kids. Eight hours 00:39:54.519 --> 00:40:00.420 of work, worthless the rest of the time. You 00:40:00.420 --> 00:40:03.440 have got to be an example of a disciplined life. 00:40:04.199 --> 00:40:07.940 And you have got to expect that in your home. 00:40:09.219 --> 00:40:12.119 You have got to expect your children to lead 00:40:12.119 --> 00:40:15.480 a disciplined life More than expected you have 00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:19.619 to demand it That's it that's all there is to 00:40:19.619 --> 00:40:24.780 it. It's not an option really It doesn't matter 00:40:24.780 --> 00:40:31.619 how old they are Six or 18 what do you expect 00:40:31.619 --> 00:40:37.440 of your children? Is there this magical age when 00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:40.449 now all of a sudden They're adults and you have 00:40:40.449 --> 00:40:46.170 no say in their lives. That's not the case. You 00:40:46.170 --> 00:40:48.769 are responsible for those children as long as 00:40:48.769 --> 00:40:51.849 they are in your home. And when they go out of 00:40:51.849 --> 00:40:54.769 your home, hopefully you still have a voice in 00:40:54.769 --> 00:40:57.949 their life that you can say, hey, why are you 00:40:57.949 --> 00:41:02.389 doing this? What's going on here? How can you 00:41:02.389 --> 00:41:04.389 do that though if you haven't developed this 00:41:04.389 --> 00:41:08.889 relationship in the years prior, right? That's... 00:41:08.699 --> 00:41:12.360 Why it's another reason why it's essential. Because 00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:15.719 for the rest of our kids' lives, at least my 00:41:15.719 --> 00:41:18.280 desire is that I could speak into their lives. 00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:21.800 That I can look at any one of them and say, why 00:41:21.800 --> 00:41:24.719 are you doing what you're doing here? This doesn't 00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:29.159 seem good. Can you explain this to me? And they 00:41:29.159 --> 00:41:31.760 can know that dad's coming to them because he 00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:34.559 loves them, because he's concerned for them, 00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:37.659 because he wants their good. But if I don't have 00:41:37.659 --> 00:41:40.420 a relationship, I can't do that. At least not 00:41:40.420 --> 00:41:44.460 in a good way. So you have got to set the tone 00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:47.159 in your home. You've got to lead a disciplined 00:41:47.159 --> 00:41:50.260 life. You have to manage your time. You have 00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:53.000 to have priorities. And your children have to 00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:57.280 know these things and to be expected to do all 00:41:57.280 --> 00:42:00.619 those same things while they're with you. You 00:42:00.619 --> 00:42:03.119 don't live your life and your children live their 00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:07.920 life. That's not family. You live your lives 00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:14.420 together. All of you. There is no hands -off 00:42:14.420 --> 00:42:18.019 parenting. If that's your idea of parenting, 00:42:18.579 --> 00:42:22.699 then you have a totally wrong, unbiblical, worldly 00:42:22.699 --> 00:42:27.579 view of parenting. It's hands -on. You know where 00:42:27.579 --> 00:42:31.880 they are. You know what they're doing. You know 00:42:31.880 --> 00:42:36.150 they're friends. All of those things. That doesn't 00:42:36.150 --> 00:42:40.030 mean you have to control them. It doesn't mean 00:42:40.030 --> 00:42:44.610 you have to go with them. But you should know, 00:42:46.309 --> 00:42:48.949 hey, they're going over here, they're doing this. 00:42:49.969 --> 00:42:52.570 They should be willing and wanting to say, hey, 00:42:52.769 --> 00:42:54.550 we're going to go hang out over here. And you're 00:42:54.550 --> 00:42:56.289 going to be like, yeah, go ahead. Great. We'll 00:42:56.289 --> 00:43:00.309 see you tonight. Whatever it is, communication, 00:43:02.730 --> 00:43:05.449 knowing. Then when they do tell you sometimes 00:43:05.449 --> 00:43:08.170 you're gonna be like whoa now hang on Isn't that 00:43:08.170 --> 00:43:11.150 so and so and doesn't he do this that and the 00:43:11.150 --> 00:43:12.849 other and that doesn't seem like a very good 00:43:12.849 --> 00:43:17.309 place to go And then like well, maybe you're 00:43:17.309 --> 00:43:19.869 right. Maybe you're not I don't know, but you 00:43:19.869 --> 00:43:24.710 can at least have a conversation Parenting is 00:43:24.710 --> 00:43:32.599 hands -on involved Again We're wanting them to 00:43:32.599 --> 00:43:34.659 grow and mature. We're wanting them to become 00:43:34.659 --> 00:43:36.920 independent. But independence doesn't mean we 00:43:36.920 --> 00:43:41.000 don't know anything about them. That's not good 00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:46.539 independence. That's neglect. Neglecting your 00:43:46.539 --> 00:43:50.940 duties as a parent. So, fathers, set the tone. 00:43:52.099 --> 00:43:56.420 Be responsible in these things. Lead your family 00:43:56.420 --> 00:44:01.590 in the way that you should. And I should just 00:44:01.590 --> 00:44:05.889 say this. We do all of this for the glory of 00:44:05.889 --> 00:44:09.750 God. Right? I mean, we want our children to be 00:44:09.750 --> 00:44:13.050 wonderful, upstanding citizens, responsible. 00:44:13.170 --> 00:44:15.030 I mean, that's the goal. That is one of our goals. 00:44:15.369 --> 00:44:17.909 Absolutely. We want them to walk with the Lord. 00:44:18.010 --> 00:44:20.269 We want them to come to know the Lord. We want 00:44:20.269 --> 00:44:24.730 all of those good things. But we do what we do 00:44:24.730 --> 00:44:27.329 because God has commanded us to do it. And we 00:44:27.329 --> 00:44:30.719 do it out of love to Him. first and foremost, 00:44:31.380 --> 00:44:34.880 and then our love for our children afterwards. 00:44:36.139 --> 00:44:38.480 And if the Lord saves them and they're wonderful, 00:44:38.920 --> 00:44:41.099 then praise the Lord. If He doesn't, then we 00:44:41.099 --> 00:44:44.599 can say, well, I was obedient to the Lord and 00:44:44.599 --> 00:44:47.400 I don't know what else I could have done. But 00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:49.280 if at the end of the day, you can't say that, 00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:53.059 that's a terrible place to be. To say, yeah, 00:44:53.059 --> 00:44:55.739 I failed everywhere. My children are walking 00:44:55.739 --> 00:44:58.400 with the Lord. I sure wish I had done everything 00:44:58.400 --> 00:45:04.559 different. Don't go there. Be responsible. Honor 00:45:04.559 --> 00:45:08.619 the Lord in the way that you parent. And Lord 00:45:08.619 --> 00:45:11.179 willing, the Lord will bless that, save your 00:45:11.179 --> 00:45:18.619 children, and it'll be wonderful. But we've got 00:45:18.619 --> 00:45:20.900 to be intentional. We've got to be responsible. 00:45:21.019 --> 00:45:23.860 We've got to be diligent in what the Lord has 00:45:23.860 --> 00:45:24.559 called us to do.