WEBVTT 00:00:02.270 --> 00:00:06.169 So we're going to continue here with our topic 00:00:06.169 --> 00:00:09.730 of the family And we're going to deal this morning 00:00:09.730 --> 00:00:17.489 with husbands and leading So a couple of verses 00:00:17.489 --> 00:00:21.570 here That we've already read but again, let's 00:00:21.570 --> 00:00:24.370 just read them again and so that we can see here 00:00:24.370 --> 00:00:31.219 what the Bible says Ephesians 5 22 Wives be subject 00:00:31.219 --> 00:00:34.219 to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband 00:00:34.219 --> 00:00:36.679 is the head of the wife as Christ is the head 00:00:36.679 --> 00:00:40.979 of the church So we see there some instruction 00:00:40.979 --> 00:00:43.840 for the wives, but it tells us what the husbands 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:47.100 are the husbands are the head Okay, so the wives 00:00:47.100 --> 00:00:51.619 are to submit to their husbands Because he's 00:00:51.619 --> 00:00:54.159 the head of the home as Christ is the head of 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:56.320 the church, so we've already we've mentioned 00:00:56.320 --> 00:01:02.899 this before Ephesians 5 25 husbands love your 00:01:02.899 --> 00:01:07.099 wives just as Christ loved the church so within 00:01:07.099 --> 00:01:10.599 this role of husbands and wives we see the husband 00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:15.079 as the head we see also how he's to lead we still 00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:21.439 lead in love as Christ has led in love 1st Timothy 00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:26.590 3 4 This is speaking of the elders He says he 00:01:26.590 --> 00:01:29.370 must be one who manages his own household well 00:01:29.370 --> 00:01:32.010 keeping his children under control with all dignity 00:01:32.010 --> 00:01:34.849 But if a man does not know how to manage his 00:01:34.849 --> 00:01:37.250 own household, how will he take care of the Church 00:01:37.250 --> 00:01:40.370 of God? So this is directed specifically to the 00:01:40.370 --> 00:01:44.890 elders, but it's not as though That was the only 00:01:44.890 --> 00:01:47.170 guy in the church and the only men in the church 00:01:47.170 --> 00:01:49.950 who were doing these things Okay, so this word 00:01:49.950 --> 00:01:53.200 here that he says manage I don't know what your 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:56.200 translation may say, but it has to do with ruling, 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:59.939 presiding over leadership is what he's talking 00:01:59.939 --> 00:02:03.620 about here. So this passage dealing with the 00:02:03.620 --> 00:02:08.719 elders in particular, again, all men are to lead 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:11.960 their homes, manage their household well. And 00:02:11.960 --> 00:02:13.939 then he says the same thing with regard to the 00:02:13.939 --> 00:02:18.300 deacons in 1 Timothy 312, good managers of their 00:02:18.300 --> 00:02:22.250 children. their households so ruling and leading 00:02:22.250 --> 00:02:28.349 in a good way Another passage here that we've 00:02:28.349 --> 00:02:33.409 mentioned before first Peter 3 7 You husbands 00:02:33.409 --> 00:02:36.969 in the same way live with your wives in an understanding 00:02:36.969 --> 00:02:40.349 way Or if you've got the King James it says according 00:02:40.349 --> 00:02:43.590 to knowledge All right, so I like that better 00:02:43.590 --> 00:02:47.340 that makes it real plain. I think According to 00:02:47.340 --> 00:02:49.680 knowledge as with someone weaker since she is 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:52.780 a woman and show her honor as a fellow heir of 00:02:52.780 --> 00:02:55.680 the grace of life So that your prayers will not 00:02:55.680 --> 00:03:01.419 be hindered So we see here men are to lead that 00:03:01.419 --> 00:03:04.479 they are the head of the home just as Christ 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:07.900 is the head of the church and We see there to 00:03:07.900 --> 00:03:11.379 lead in love loving their wives as Christ loved 00:03:11.379 --> 00:03:13.969 the church and we We've already heard this morning 00:03:13.969 --> 00:03:16.050 how Christ loved the church, right? We've heard 00:03:16.050 --> 00:03:19.669 that. It was a sacrificial love. It was a laying 00:03:19.669 --> 00:03:24.150 down of his life in love. It was a service, a 00:03:24.150 --> 00:03:27.229 life of service to the church, serving. And so 00:03:27.229 --> 00:03:30.469 that's how husbands should lead. Christ is the 00:03:30.469 --> 00:03:37.129 example in all that we do. We've heard that. 00:03:37.330 --> 00:03:39.669 I think we all have heard that time and again. 00:03:39.810 --> 00:03:43.800 Am I right? And I think, I hope we all agree 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:47.620 with that. I've not heard anybody say, hey, I 00:03:47.620 --> 00:03:52.460 don't agree with this. So I hope we're all in 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:56.599 agreement, still. And so what is my point this 00:03:56.599 --> 00:04:00.699 morning, my goal this morning? I want to give 00:04:00.699 --> 00:04:05.280 some practical, helpful advice based upon the 00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:12.919 Word of God on how we are to lead. We as husbands, 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:21.300 as fathers, are to lead in a certain way. What 00:04:21.300 --> 00:04:23.800 is that way? What does that look like? What does 00:04:23.800 --> 00:04:27.860 that mean? Right? It's great to say, hey, lead 00:04:27.860 --> 00:04:32.339 your home. And we all say, amen, absolutely. 00:04:32.339 --> 00:04:35.899 Let's do that. And then we all go about our lives 00:04:35.899 --> 00:04:37.720 and we're all looking around and saying, is that 00:04:37.720 --> 00:04:40.550 leading? Who's leading? How are we leading? Is 00:04:40.550 --> 00:04:44.829 that leadership? I'm not sure. So let's talk 00:04:44.829 --> 00:04:48.009 about that this morning. What does it mean to 00:04:48.009 --> 00:04:51.470 lead your home? What does it mean to be the head 00:04:51.470 --> 00:04:55.490 of your home? To lead your wife? What does it 00:04:55.490 --> 00:04:59.410 look like practically? Well, first of all, hopefully 00:04:59.410 --> 00:05:01.870 you got this from last week's message, but you've 00:05:01.870 --> 00:05:05.550 got to lead yourself. You have to be a man in 00:05:05.550 --> 00:05:12.459 order to lead a wife. A biblical man. So you 00:05:12.459 --> 00:05:15.519 have to lead yourself. You have to be exercising 00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:19.660 responsibility in all areas of your life. How 00:05:19.660 --> 00:05:23.220 are you going to lead somebody if you're not 00:05:23.220 --> 00:05:27.079 leading yourself? Right? I mean, that's just 00:05:27.079 --> 00:05:32.060 obvious to us. You have to be seeing to the needs 00:05:32.060 --> 00:05:35.459 of your soul. In other words, you've got to be 00:05:35.459 --> 00:05:38.480 in the Word. You've got to be spending time with 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:42.310 the Lord. You've got to be growing. We mentioned 00:05:42.310 --> 00:05:46.370 that last week. Learning, growing. You've got 00:05:46.370 --> 00:05:48.649 to be seeing to your own physical needs. So your 00:05:48.649 --> 00:05:50.750 spiritual needs, you've got to be dealing with. 00:05:51.110 --> 00:05:53.110 You've got to be growing. You've got to see to 00:05:53.110 --> 00:05:56.009 your physical needs. How are you going to care 00:05:56.009 --> 00:05:58.589 for a wife? How are you going to care for children 00:05:58.589 --> 00:06:00.490 if you can't even care for yourself physically? 00:06:01.810 --> 00:06:03.790 If you're not working, if you're not providing, 00:06:04.350 --> 00:06:06.490 what good? What good can you do for a family? 00:06:09.039 --> 00:06:11.600 following biblical principles in your own life, 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:15.860 I wrote down here. So, being faithful, exercising 00:06:15.860 --> 00:06:21.600 wisdom, discipline, growing spiritually, devoted 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:25.199 to prayer, submitted to the authority God has 00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:30.339 placed over you, His Word, right? That is our 00:06:30.339 --> 00:06:34.079 authority, the Word of God. If we're not submitted 00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:37.629 to that, Why do we think anybody is going to 00:06:37.629 --> 00:06:43.269 submit to us? Submit it to the Word of God. Submit 00:06:43.269 --> 00:06:45.949 it to the authorities over you. So we could say, 00:06:45.970 --> 00:06:50.370 submit it to the elders. Submit it to your bosses 00:06:50.370 --> 00:06:54.750 at work. Right? I mean that's how what a man 00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:59.069 should be doing. A man leads in submission, leads 00:06:59.069 --> 00:07:02.230 his wife in submission by submitting to the authorities 00:07:02.230 --> 00:07:10.610 that are over him. You children You young men 00:07:10.610 --> 00:07:14.350 You're not leading a wife yet, but you should 00:07:14.350 --> 00:07:18.730 be submitted to your parents Growing in this 00:07:18.730 --> 00:07:23.089 submission growing in manhood. That's one of 00:07:23.089 --> 00:07:26.449 the things you should be doing standing for truth 00:07:26.449 --> 00:07:29.970 I'll put down here You've got to lead yourself 00:07:29.970 --> 00:07:31.829 if you're gonna lead a wife if you're gonna lead 00:07:31.829 --> 00:07:36.329 children. You better be leading yourself As a 00:07:36.329 --> 00:07:41.470 side note, you young ladies, you young ladies 00:07:41.470 --> 00:07:45.230 who are looking for a husband, if these are not 00:07:45.230 --> 00:07:51.850 qualities you see in him, run away. You don't 00:07:51.850 --> 00:07:54.870 want any part of this guy. He might be a sweetheart, 00:07:55.350 --> 00:07:59.529 really nice guy, a real charmer, but he's not 00:07:59.529 --> 00:08:03.829 going to lead you when you marry him. Stay away 00:08:03.829 --> 00:08:09.500 from him. You're looking for a godly man One 00:08:09.500 --> 00:08:13.300 who serves the Lord and will lead you in the 00:08:13.300 --> 00:08:18.040 way that you should go Parents you see your daughter 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:20.839 falling for this guy you say no, we're not going 00:08:20.839 --> 00:08:28.000 there Parents if you've got a son who's not this 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:30.779 way and you see a young lady falling for him 00:08:30.779 --> 00:08:34.480 You better say get away from him He's not ready 00:08:34.990 --> 00:08:39.009 You want no part of him. He's not ready to lead 00:08:39.009 --> 00:08:43.490 you. We have that responsibility as parents, 00:08:43.889 --> 00:08:50.409 you young parents. It's a serious thing who you 00:08:50.409 --> 00:08:53.350 give your children to and who you encourage in 00:08:53.350 --> 00:08:57.570 their relationships. So, that's a side note. 00:08:58.350 --> 00:09:01.470 Jake mentioned this morning already, Joel Beeke 00:09:01.470 --> 00:09:05.350 and this book, Lead Your Family, right? How to 00:09:05.350 --> 00:09:06.950 lead your family. We're going to give that out 00:09:06.950 --> 00:09:10.909 to everybody. And in that book, he talks about 00:09:10.909 --> 00:09:13.509 leading as a prophet, priest, and a king. Those 00:09:13.509 --> 00:09:17.029 are his three, basically yes, three chapters. 00:09:18.029 --> 00:09:21.250 In a conclusion, intro. But three chapters there. 00:09:21.309 --> 00:09:24.070 Leading as a prophet, leading as a priest, leading 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:27.169 as a king. So I'm not going to go into all those 00:09:27.169 --> 00:09:29.929 things this morning. We're going to give that 00:09:29.929 --> 00:09:31.830 to you, and we're going to encourage you to read 00:09:31.830 --> 00:09:35.179 that. Because there's great benefit in it. It's 00:09:35.179 --> 00:09:37.799 a good book. It's a little bitty booklet. Everybody 00:09:37.799 --> 00:09:42.179 can handle it. It's wonderful. But he talks in 00:09:42.179 --> 00:09:46.639 there about a prophet. What was the role of a 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:50.799 prophet? The essential task is to be God's spokesman 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:55.440 to his people. So making truth known. Making 00:09:55.440 --> 00:09:57.960 truth known to your wife and your children. Leading 00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:02.460 as a prophet. That's part of your responsibility 00:10:02.460 --> 00:10:05.379 if you're going to lead well. If you're gonna 00:10:05.379 --> 00:10:10.620 lead according to God's design. Now, who was 00:10:10.620 --> 00:10:14.539 a prophet? There's all sorts of prophets, right? 00:10:14.539 --> 00:10:18.659 But Jesus, right? Jesus was the prophet that 00:10:18.659 --> 00:10:23.240 was to come. He's our example. Who was the priest? 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:27.919 Jesus, right? Jesus, prophet, priest, and king. 00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:31.480 So if we lead as a prophet, priest, and king, 00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:35.139 we're leading like Jesus. He is our example. 00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:39.460 So a prophet making truth known. Priest. Sacrifice 00:10:39.460 --> 00:10:43.899 and intercession. Loving as Christ loved. We 00:10:43.899 --> 00:10:46.720 already read that. Laying down his life. He was 00:10:46.720 --> 00:10:50.659 that sacrificial lamb. Giving his life for the 00:10:50.659 --> 00:10:54.259 church. We lead in that way. Giving our lives 00:10:54.259 --> 00:10:58.340 for our families. For our wife in particular. 00:11:00.659 --> 00:11:04.340 We do all these things that the priests did. 00:11:05.419 --> 00:11:08.360 Praying for them, serving them, living a life 00:11:08.360 --> 00:11:15.200 of sacrifice for them. We'll just leave it at 00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:17.320 that. We'll deal with some more of that later 00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:19.919 on. And then a king, he goes into the king leading, 00:11:20.059 --> 00:11:22.500 taking responsibility, defending spiritually 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:26.279 and physically. So, it's a good booklet. And 00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:27.820 these things that we're going to talk about this 00:11:27.820 --> 00:11:31.110 morning... That you could put I think all of 00:11:31.110 --> 00:11:34.169 them under that one of those categories there 00:11:34.169 --> 00:11:41.190 So I just Give that to you as an introduction 00:11:41.190 --> 00:11:45.429 So what is leading taking responsibility? That's 00:11:45.429 --> 00:11:47.769 the first thing I have down here if you're going 00:11:47.769 --> 00:11:52.450 to lead You have to know it is your responsibility 00:11:52.450 --> 00:11:59.419 What is your responsibility As a husband in your 00:11:59.419 --> 00:12:01.639 home, what is your responsibility in the home? 00:12:04.039 --> 00:12:07.980 Everything. Everything is your responsibility. 00:12:09.240 --> 00:12:11.759 If you don't understand that, then you're not 00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:13.519 going to be a good leader. You're not going to 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:15.779 be a good husband. You're not going to be leading 00:12:15.779 --> 00:12:18.379 in the way that Christ has told us to lead. You 00:12:18.379 --> 00:12:22.019 are the head of the home. You are responsible 00:12:22.019 --> 00:12:24.759 for everything that goes on and everything that 00:12:24.759 --> 00:12:29.289 doesn't go on. You are responsible for it. Don't 00:12:29.289 --> 00:12:34.289 give it on a job. Me, right? I'm building a house. 00:12:34.629 --> 00:12:36.690 If at the end of the day, or end of the job, 00:12:36.909 --> 00:12:39.529 the guy comes to me and he says, hey, we're supposed 00:12:39.529 --> 00:12:41.490 to have a window here. There's no window. You 00:12:41.490 --> 00:12:43.370 got a window over here. We're not supposed to 00:12:43.370 --> 00:12:45.769 have one there. And you got these bedrooms all 00:12:45.769 --> 00:12:49.330 mixed. Whose fault is that? I say, well, I had 00:12:49.330 --> 00:12:53.230 Caleb laying that out. He says, sorry. No, it's 00:12:53.230 --> 00:12:56.480 not his fault. It's my fault. I'm responsible. 00:12:56.759 --> 00:13:00.340 I'm the guy. The buck stops here, right? That's 00:13:00.340 --> 00:13:03.120 how it is in just supervision in life, right? 00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:05.559 At your work. There are plenty of supervisors 00:13:05.559 --> 00:13:08.899 out there. Who's responsible? You are. It's not 00:13:08.899 --> 00:13:11.039 Joe's job, even though you told him to. It's 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:14.580 your job. And that's how it is in the home. God 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:18.799 has given us as husbands that authority, that 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:22.340 responsibility. We have got to take hold of that. 00:13:22.940 --> 00:13:26.120 Understand that it rests upon our shoulders and 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:31.820 we must deal with it. We have to leave. Everything 00:13:31.820 --> 00:13:37.259 is our responsibility. Don't be like Adam. When 00:13:37.259 --> 00:13:39.559 God came to Amod, it's that woman you gave to 00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:42.240 me. It's her fault that we fell. It wasn't me. 00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:47.440 Don't brush it off somewhere else. Own up. God 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:50.320 went to the one who was responsible. It was Adam. 00:13:51.370 --> 00:13:55.289 We are responsible in our homes if you're unwilling 00:13:55.289 --> 00:13:58.250 to take that role then you never should have 00:13:58.250 --> 00:14:01.850 Taken that role You young people that's the role 00:14:01.850 --> 00:14:04.289 that you take as a husband when you get married. 00:14:04.590 --> 00:14:11.710 That's your role to lead To take responsibility 00:14:11.710 --> 00:14:19.779 in all things all things so Understand that it 00:14:19.779 --> 00:14:22.940 is your responsibility everything that does and 00:14:22.940 --> 00:14:26.639 does not go on in the home is your responsibility 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:30.639 Husbands are the final authority in the home. 00:14:30.799 --> 00:14:43.059 So leading means making decisions We said we 00:14:43.059 --> 00:14:46.120 I've mentioned this decisions have to be made 00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:50.080 in the home Who's going to make them? The husband. 00:14:50.940 --> 00:14:54.379 The husband is going to make the decisions. Okay? 00:14:54.919 --> 00:14:56.860 Plain and simple. Now how are you going to go 00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:59.000 about that? How are you going to go about making 00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:01.840 these decisions? That's the question, right? 00:15:02.139 --> 00:15:08.519 That's where the rubber meets the road. There's 00:15:08.519 --> 00:15:10.779 a few things, there's a lot of things, a few 00:15:10.779 --> 00:15:12.659 things in particular that you need to keep in 00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:17.070 mind, right? You've got to communicate with your 00:15:17.070 --> 00:15:20.210 wife. If you're going to make a decision, there's 00:15:20.210 --> 00:15:22.110 got to be communication between you and your 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:25.070 wife. At least there should be. If you're going 00:15:25.070 --> 00:15:27.370 to lead well, if you're going to lead according 00:15:27.370 --> 00:15:29.750 to knowledge, if you're going to lead in wisdom 00:15:29.750 --> 00:15:32.590 and understanding, you've got to talk to your 00:15:32.590 --> 00:15:40.029 wife. That means taking that first step in communication. 00:15:40.710 --> 00:15:42.509 Here's what we've got, babe. What are we going 00:15:42.509 --> 00:15:47.809 to do? Communication. You have to lead in that. 00:15:48.870 --> 00:15:52.129 You have to come together and talk about these 00:15:52.129 --> 00:16:02.970 things. Now, obviously, it's better when you 00:16:02.970 --> 00:16:06.110 all are going down the same road together, alright? 00:16:07.789 --> 00:16:11.789 Think of it. You've got to make a decision about 00:16:11.789 --> 00:16:14.240 school. Where are we going to send the kids to 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:16.679 school? What are we going to do here? Are we 00:16:16.679 --> 00:16:18.039 going to homeschool? Are we going to send them 00:16:18.039 --> 00:16:22.200 somewhere? What are we going to do? Well, if 00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:25.039 you're going down this road together, and you 00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:28.120 already have all of these other principles in 00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:30.340 mind of how we're going to raise our children, 00:16:30.779 --> 00:16:34.279 and what are our goals, what are our aims, you've 00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:36.279 already talked about all these things. And when 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:39.679 it comes to that, you say, okay, well, this is 00:16:39.679 --> 00:16:42.659 our goal for our children. Does that line up 00:16:42.659 --> 00:16:45.500 with that goal? Descending them to public school 00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:51.220 line up with what we want for our children. And 00:16:51.220 --> 00:16:54.399 then that influences your decision, right? Descending 00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:56.440 them to Christian school, is that going to accomplish 00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:59.080 our goals that we set together for our children? 00:17:00.340 --> 00:17:03.120 Is home school, is that where it's at? Is that 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:06.579 what we're going to do? If you have communicated 00:17:06.579 --> 00:17:09.940 together in the beginning, here's our goals. 00:17:11.339 --> 00:17:14.420 When you come to make a decision, it's much easier 00:17:14.420 --> 00:17:17.900 Because some things are going to align with those 00:17:17.900 --> 00:17:21.480 goals and some things are not And so you're going 00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:23.660 to move forward in that way so it's imperative 00:17:23.660 --> 00:17:27.579 that you and your wife walk together in in unity 00:17:27.579 --> 00:17:30.660 That you're going down the same road with the 00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:34.759 same goals with the same desires in mind And 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:37.619 in order to have those goals desires aims. You've 00:17:37.619 --> 00:17:41.200 got to talk with her You have to say What are 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:45.980 our goals? What do we want? What do we want in 00:17:45.980 --> 00:17:49.299 our life? What do we want for our children? What 00:17:49.299 --> 00:17:53.940 do we want for a home? How many children are 00:17:53.940 --> 00:17:56.299 we going to have? All of these different things, 00:17:56.619 --> 00:18:00.099 you've got to communicate. You have to lead in 00:18:00.099 --> 00:18:05.940 communication. It's imperative that you communicate 00:18:05.940 --> 00:18:13.809 with one another. So I'm going to deal here with 00:18:13.809 --> 00:18:16.569 communication for just a few minutes here. How 00:18:16.569 --> 00:18:19.710 do we communicate with our wives? How do we lead 00:18:19.710 --> 00:18:25.950 our wives in communication? You start the conversation. 00:18:26.109 --> 00:18:28.349 You husbands have got to start the conversation. 00:18:28.930 --> 00:18:30.690 If you're going to lead, it's not just sitting 00:18:30.690 --> 00:18:32.650 around waiting for your wife to bring something 00:18:32.650 --> 00:18:40.609 to you. It's you starting the conversation. It's 00:18:40.609 --> 00:18:44.319 not just you talking. It's listening to your 00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:48.039 wife as well. Let's talk about this. Here are 00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:53.799 my thoughts. What are your thoughts? Okay It's 00:18:53.799 --> 00:18:58.579 important that your wife feels free To say anything 00:18:58.579 --> 00:19:03.059 she wants to you there all of her concerns her 00:19:03.059 --> 00:19:07.079 opinions her thoughts her worries her fears all 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:10.549 of those things she should feel like She can 00:19:10.549 --> 00:19:12.329 come to you with all of those things and you're 00:19:12.329 --> 00:19:15.410 not going to shut her down You have to be open 00:19:15.410 --> 00:19:20.990 to truly hear and listen to your wife And then 00:19:20.990 --> 00:19:23.470 you could talk about those things you communicate 00:19:23.470 --> 00:19:27.849 with one another This is an on this is not a 00:19:27.849 --> 00:19:30.130 good this you're not thinking right, honey This 00:19:30.130 --> 00:19:32.849 is not something you should be fearful of the 00:19:32.849 --> 00:19:34.990 Lord is in charge of that So let's deal with 00:19:34.990 --> 00:19:37.569 this other thing whatever it is you communicate 00:19:37.569 --> 00:19:42.069 with one another You lead her in that communication. 00:19:44.369 --> 00:19:49.049 Hear her, understand, and make sure she knows 00:19:49.049 --> 00:19:54.329 that you understand. Do you understand what that 00:19:54.329 --> 00:19:56.730 means? That she knows? In other words, you can 00:19:56.730 --> 00:19:59.349 tell her what she just got done telling you. 00:20:00.630 --> 00:20:03.750 You can say, yes, I understand what you're saying. 00:20:03.829 --> 00:20:07.529 This is what you're saying. This is why I understand. 00:20:09.490 --> 00:20:11.970 Why is that important? Because maybe you're going 00:20:11.970 --> 00:20:14.630 to say, I disagree with you, right? And she's 00:20:14.630 --> 00:20:16.650 going to be like, no, you don't understand what 00:20:16.650 --> 00:20:19.410 I'm saying. And you're going to say, no, I do. 00:20:19.589 --> 00:20:22.390 This is what you're saying. And she said, yes, 00:20:22.390 --> 00:20:24.990 that's what I'm saying. And you say, I disagree 00:20:24.990 --> 00:20:29.089 with you, right? We've all been in those conversations. 00:20:29.630 --> 00:20:32.710 I really do understand. I've heard you. I've 00:20:32.710 --> 00:20:37.130 listened. I understand. I love you. But I disagree 00:20:37.130 --> 00:20:39.559 with you. And here's why. And so you communicate, 00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:44.400 okay? That's imperative in a good marriage. If 00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:47.619 you are truly going to lead your wife, she has 00:20:47.619 --> 00:20:52.619 to be her. But at the end of the day then, after 00:20:52.619 --> 00:20:55.119 you've communicated, you've talked, you've worked 00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:58.099 these things out between you, and you still don't 00:20:58.099 --> 00:21:01.680 come to an agreement, where do you go from there? 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:11.240 You make a decision, men. It's on you You say 00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:14.740 honey, I disagree with you and here's why and 00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:21.019 so this is what we're doing That's it End of 00:21:21.019 --> 00:21:23.599 discussion right now. Hopefully that doesn't 00:21:23.599 --> 00:21:27.900 happen often Hopefully that's not a normal thing 00:21:27.900 --> 00:21:30.519 Hopefully she can say okay. Yeah, I see where 00:21:30.519 --> 00:21:33.180 you're coming from that makes sense Let's go 00:21:33.180 --> 00:21:35.319 together, and you walk down that road together 00:21:35.319 --> 00:21:38.200 in unity Hand in hand, right? That's the goal. 00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:41.700 That's what we're looking for. But it doesn't 00:21:41.700 --> 00:21:43.839 always come like that. It doesn't always work 00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:47.160 like that. And so you have to sometimes say, 00:21:47.980 --> 00:21:51.500 I'm making the decision and here we go. That 00:21:51.500 --> 00:21:55.500 is leading. That's leading in love because you've 00:21:55.500 --> 00:21:58.920 talked, you've communicated, obviously you've 00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:00.839 prayed about it, maybe you've sought wisdom about 00:22:00.839 --> 00:22:03.839 this decision, and here you go. You're going 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:07.660 down this road. That is your responsibility, 00:22:08.099 --> 00:22:12.539 men, and it is a big responsibility. I remember 00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:17.240 in our marriage, one time, where we were just, 00:22:17.619 --> 00:22:21.099 Amanda and I were just, we were just on two separate 00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:25.480 pages. And at the end of the day, I had to make 00:22:25.480 --> 00:22:31.180 a decision. And I did. It's not an enjoyable 00:22:31.180 --> 00:22:35.630 thing. It's not an easy thing. It's hard. But 00:22:35.630 --> 00:22:38.630 that is the responsibility of a man leading his 00:22:38.630 --> 00:22:42.089 home. The decision had to be made and I had to 00:22:42.089 --> 00:22:49.190 make it. That is how we lead. And wives, your 00:22:49.190 --> 00:22:52.890 responsibility is to submit in that. Is it going 00:22:52.890 --> 00:22:56.549 to be easy? Not necessarily. Right? It's not 00:22:56.549 --> 00:23:00.329 easy. But that's what we're called to. To lead 00:23:00.329 --> 00:23:07.359 and to submit. The Bible is very clear. So the 00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:10.359 decision rests on you. This is one way in which 00:23:10.359 --> 00:23:13.880 we lead we lead in communication and decision 00:23:13.880 --> 00:23:20.559 -making Now we lead according to knowledge Peter 00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:28.819 says there What does that mean a Few things I 00:23:28.819 --> 00:23:35.000 wrote down here You have to know your wife If 00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:36.759 you're going to lead her according to knowledge, 00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:38.779 if you're going to lead her in an understanding 00:23:38.779 --> 00:23:43.859 way, you better know your wife. You better know 00:23:43.859 --> 00:23:48.259 her likes, her dislikes, her strengths, her weaknesses, 00:23:49.299 --> 00:23:53.640 her fears. You better know her emotional state 00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:58.660 when you're talking to her. You better know those 00:23:58.660 --> 00:24:03.019 things that really set her off, so to speak. 00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:07.309 she's really passionate about or every time you 00:24:07.309 --> 00:24:10.569 talk about these things, it really is difficult. 00:24:11.809 --> 00:24:14.089 You've got to know that so that you can lead 00:24:14.089 --> 00:24:17.970 in a way that is helpful to her. So you can come 00:24:17.970 --> 00:24:21.329 into this conversation or into this issue knowing 00:24:21.329 --> 00:24:24.049 I've got to be very gentle here. My wife struggles 00:24:24.049 --> 00:24:26.789 with this. I need to show her great love and 00:24:26.789 --> 00:24:29.910 understanding and help her as we come to this 00:24:29.910 --> 00:24:32.029 decision, as we come through this thing, whatever 00:24:32.029 --> 00:24:35.099 it is. You have got to know your wife. If you 00:24:35.099 --> 00:24:39.039 don't know your wife, you're not going to be 00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:42.319 able to lead in a loving, caring, understanding 00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:46.839 way that we're called to. So know your wife. 00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:57.240 Lead her in an understanding way. One way in 00:24:57.240 --> 00:25:09.329 particular that... Well, we'll deal with it So 00:25:09.329 --> 00:25:12.609 lead in an understanding way children in particular, 00:25:13.069 --> 00:25:15.490 you know Every everybody's different. So let's 00:25:15.490 --> 00:25:17.549 let's just say that real quick here men and women 00:25:17.549 --> 00:25:23.670 are different and Men and men are different and 00:25:23.670 --> 00:25:25.990 women and women are different and so some women 00:25:25.990 --> 00:25:28.289 are more emotional some men are more emotional, 00:25:28.529 --> 00:25:32.150 right? I mean in a relationship everybody's unique 00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:35.960 And so you've got to know one another. You've 00:25:35.960 --> 00:25:39.579 got to know your wife in those situations. Children. 00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:41.640 When you're dealing with children, that is a 00:25:41.640 --> 00:25:47.619 difficult subject. Most women are very emotional 00:25:47.619 --> 00:25:49.400 towards their children. They really love them. 00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:51.400 And so when you're dealing with these things, 00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:53.980 you've got to keep that in mind. You can't be 00:25:53.980 --> 00:25:57.619 harsh with her. But you've got to lead her in 00:25:57.619 --> 00:26:00.500 the dealing with children. It's important. It's 00:26:00.500 --> 00:26:06.339 imperative. Know how she is Know what she's like 00:26:06.339 --> 00:26:15.400 In all of these things It's important to lead 00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:18.440 according to knowledge. It's according. It's 00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:20.920 important to have wisdom in all of these things 00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:25.759 To be led by the word to be led by biblical principles 00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:33.660 Men we do not lead by fear and emotion. I'm afraid 00:26:33.660 --> 00:26:38.019 of what could happen. That's not how we lead. 00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:44.220 What if? That's not part of the discussion. We 00:26:44.220 --> 00:26:48.140 lead based upon truth, based upon biblical principles. 00:26:50.140 --> 00:26:55.259 Do not lead by emotion. Do not lead according 00:26:55.259 --> 00:27:13.859 to fear. Now this has already been said, practically, 00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:17.900 but I'm just gonna make it as clear, as abundantly 00:27:17.900 --> 00:27:21.059 clear as I possibly can. You have to lead by 00:27:21.059 --> 00:27:24.900 example. So again, we talked there about what 00:27:24.900 --> 00:27:27.359 your life should look like. That's an example. 00:27:28.359 --> 00:27:32.920 You have to lead by example. Your life in order, 00:27:33.619 --> 00:27:37.259 your life doing all of these things that... You're 00:27:37.259 --> 00:27:39.519 supposed to be doing and that you want your wife 00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:46.119 to be a part of Lead by example we've all heard 00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:49.900 it actions speak louder than words right and 00:27:49.900 --> 00:27:53.180 Your wife knows is this just something he's saying 00:27:53.180 --> 00:27:56.160 He's just saying this I really don't need to 00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:59.160 follow it because he's not gonna do it. I know 00:27:59.160 --> 00:28:02.859 he's not gonna make me do it That's not leading 00:28:02.859 --> 00:28:08.650 that's just sin Lead in a way that you want them 00:28:08.650 --> 00:28:16.809 to follow Now that applies and we'll deal with 00:28:16.809 --> 00:28:18.509 some of this later when we deal with children 00:28:18.509 --> 00:28:22.809 that is of course imperative When you are a father 00:28:22.809 --> 00:28:30.029 and you're leading a wife and children Kids know 00:28:30.029 --> 00:28:33.029 kids know what's really important to you they 00:28:33.029 --> 00:28:38.039 see And if you say one thing and do the complete 00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:39.980 opposite, they all know it. They may not say 00:28:39.980 --> 00:28:43.960 it, but they all know it. And they're going to 00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:48.240 act accordingly. Your life has got to be an example 00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:52.579 to your wife and to your children. If you are 00:28:52.579 --> 00:28:56.920 to lead in a God -honoring way. Your words and 00:28:56.920 --> 00:29:05.750 your actions have to align. Some practical ways 00:29:05.750 --> 00:29:08.690 that we lead what are things that should be in 00:29:08.690 --> 00:29:11.690 our lives and ways that we should be leading 00:29:11.690 --> 00:29:23.230 Family devotions I Put down here family devotions 00:29:23.230 --> 00:29:27.049 and the meetings of the church Okay, those are 00:29:27.049 --> 00:29:29.109 two separate things but they are they kind of 00:29:29.109 --> 00:29:32.349 go together their family worship and corporate 00:29:32.349 --> 00:29:34.740 worship If you want to think of it like that. 00:29:35.720 --> 00:29:37.859 How do we lead in these things? How do we lead 00:29:37.859 --> 00:29:41.019 in this? Well, obviously you've got to be at 00:29:41.019 --> 00:29:44.039 the meeting, right? That's just a no -brainer. 00:29:44.460 --> 00:29:47.000 If you're going to lead your family and you're 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:50.400 going to show them, because let's be honest, 00:29:50.519 --> 00:29:54.759 what are we telling our kids about the meetings 00:29:54.759 --> 00:30:00.200 of the church? Are they important? I think everybody 00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:02.299 here would say, they're important. Yeah, oh yeah, 00:30:02.299 --> 00:30:05.200 they're important. But then you're not here. 00:30:06.200 --> 00:30:11.180 Are they important? No. No, they're not. They're 00:30:11.180 --> 00:30:14.240 going to play second fiddle, whatever else. Whatever 00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:16.960 else is out there. Yeah, it's important as long 00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:20.400 as it fits into our schedule, right? That's how 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:23.960 important the meeting of the church is. So you've 00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:27.140 got to lead by example. You've got to be here. 00:30:28.530 --> 00:30:31.930 Family devotions. How important is it? It's very 00:30:31.930 --> 00:30:34.569 important. We should have family devotions. Are 00:30:34.569 --> 00:30:39.250 you? Your kids know what's important and what's 00:30:39.250 --> 00:30:43.609 not. They're not stupid. Are you leading in that 00:30:43.609 --> 00:30:48.450 way? Now, is it enough to just be here on Sunday 00:30:48.450 --> 00:30:53.089 morning? Is that what we're talking about? No. 00:30:53.309 --> 00:30:55.430 No, it's not. That's not what we're talking about. 00:30:55.609 --> 00:30:57.410 We're not talking about just showing up on a 00:30:57.410 --> 00:31:01.569 Sunday morning. Once you're here, that's just 00:31:01.569 --> 00:31:05.930 the first step. What does it look like to lead 00:31:05.930 --> 00:31:22.500 your family on a Sunday morning? You're leading 00:31:22.500 --> 00:31:27.400 in a very clear way. Can't wait to get home. 00:31:29.799 --> 00:31:35.339 We're singing. Is this song over yet? Oh, somebody 00:31:35.339 --> 00:31:43.200 just sang out of tune. We laugh at that, right? 00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:46.900 I mean, that's funny. Ha ha. It's not funny. 00:31:48.259 --> 00:31:51.839 Are you leading your family? Are you singing? 00:31:52.039 --> 00:31:56.440 What do we sing? It's that simple. Is the singing 00:31:56.440 --> 00:31:58.700 important? Is that an important part of the worship 00:31:58.700 --> 00:32:02.779 of God? Sure seems to be. It's all over in Scripture. 00:32:03.259 --> 00:32:08.119 Old and New Testament. Are you participating 00:32:08.119 --> 00:32:13.059 in the prayer meeting? Are you praying at home 00:32:13.059 --> 00:32:15.240 with your family? Are you singing at home with 00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:18.079 your family? My poor kids, I used to get on to 00:32:18.079 --> 00:32:21.130 them all the time. I can't hear you guys. Sing 00:32:21.130 --> 00:32:24.730 louder. And then they'd sing a little louder 00:32:24.730 --> 00:32:26.869 for the next song. And then the next night, I'd 00:32:26.869 --> 00:32:29.150 be like, guys, I can't hear you. You need to 00:32:29.150 --> 00:32:33.809 sing. You've got to instruct. You've got to lead. 00:32:33.910 --> 00:32:36.750 You've got to show them we sing as a family. 00:32:36.869 --> 00:32:39.930 We worship as a family. And when we're a family 00:32:39.930 --> 00:32:42.710 at church, we're worshiping together in the meeting. 00:32:43.289 --> 00:32:46.190 We're singing. We're praying. We're participating. 00:32:47.089 --> 00:32:51.329 How are you leading? That's that's just basic 00:32:51.329 --> 00:32:57.670 leadership as an example to our children Singing 00:32:57.670 --> 00:33:00.690 praying instructing reading all of those things 00:33:00.690 --> 00:33:05.250 are basic Lead in that way if you're not you 00:33:05.250 --> 00:33:09.009 are not being a biblical husband a biblical father 00:33:09.009 --> 00:33:11.869 You are not pleasing the Lord plain and simple 00:33:11.869 --> 00:33:16.150 Plain and simple. That's all there is to it There's 00:33:16.150 --> 00:33:22.359 no other way to say it Are you leading in work? 00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:27.519 Are you working? Are you a diligent worker? Or 00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:30.440 are you just a complainer? You gotta go to work. 00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:35.119 Now, I'm guilty here of complaining about the 00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:40.660 people I work with. And I need to change in that 00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:46.190 regard. But are we diligent in work? Are we diligent 00:33:46.190 --> 00:33:47.950 to do what we're supposed to be doing? Or do 00:33:47.950 --> 00:33:49.829 we just complain about work and complain about 00:33:49.829 --> 00:33:56.950 everybody else? Lead in that way. Are you instructing 00:33:56.950 --> 00:34:00.069 your children and your wife? Are they working 00:34:00.069 --> 00:34:02.890 doing the things that they should be doing? Are 00:34:02.890 --> 00:34:05.210 you instructing and leading and being an example 00:34:05.210 --> 00:34:13.440 in that? Punctuality I have here. Is that really 00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:20.639 important to be on time? I'm seriously asking 00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:23.480 the question for you to consider that. That's 00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:26.639 not just rhetorical here. I'm asking the question 00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:29.340 to each and every one of you. Is it important 00:34:29.340 --> 00:34:32.840 to be on time somewhere? I'm not just talking 00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:37.260 about the church meeting. Is it important to 00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:42.400 be on time? Husbands, are you leading in that? 00:34:46.280 --> 00:34:49.840 I think it's very important for a number of reasons. 00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:54.139 For one, I think it's rude to be late because 00:34:54.139 --> 00:34:56.280 someone's expecting you at a certain time and 00:34:56.280 --> 00:34:59.039 for you not to be there or for you to hold up 00:34:59.039 --> 00:35:02.599 the show because you're not there is rude. That's 00:35:02.599 --> 00:35:06.199 not. Is that Christ -like to be inconsiderate 00:35:06.199 --> 00:35:09.619 of other people's time? Is it rude to interrupt 00:35:09.619 --> 00:35:12.820 something coming in late? And we've all been 00:35:12.820 --> 00:35:16.380 late on the occasion. But is that your normal 00:35:16.380 --> 00:35:20.059 pattern of life? A disregard for everybody else's 00:35:20.059 --> 00:35:28.139 time. Punctuality. I wrote down here some practical 00:35:28.139 --> 00:35:37.860 things. Sunday morning lateness. Can it be avoided? 00:35:38.719 --> 00:35:41.500 Yes it can, because we always start at the same 00:35:41.500 --> 00:35:45.619 time. So you can get here on time. There's no 00:35:45.619 --> 00:35:50.360 reason not to, right? I was talking to Amanda. 00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:58.340 Saturday prep for Sunday morning. You go to bed 00:35:58.340 --> 00:36:01.300 early so that you're not tired. You can get up 00:36:01.300 --> 00:36:04.039 on time. Is the meeting of the church important 00:36:04.039 --> 00:36:07.760 enough for that? To go to bed earlier on a Saturday 00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:12.690 night to get up in the morning? Should be. Prepping 00:36:12.690 --> 00:36:14.469 the kids you got their clothes laid out. You 00:36:14.469 --> 00:36:16.429 got everything ready to go. You've done your 00:36:16.429 --> 00:36:20.090 meal prep You don't not prepping for the Sunday 00:36:20.090 --> 00:36:25.130 afternoon meal Sunday morning Running around 00:36:25.130 --> 00:36:26.989 scatterbrain trying to figure out what we're 00:36:26.989 --> 00:36:30.090 doing. Well, we got to run by the store, you 00:36:30.090 --> 00:36:33.809 know What have you done there you've you've put 00:36:33.809 --> 00:36:38.030 everything during the week as more important 00:36:38.030 --> 00:36:40.619 than Preparation for Sunday morning. It's like 00:36:40.619 --> 00:36:43.860 Sunday morning is just an afterthought. Oh man, 00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:46.400 we gotta go to church today, I forgot. Oh, and 00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:50.460 we're having a meal this week. Because we do 00:36:50.460 --> 00:36:57.480 every week. Planning, preparation, punctuality. 00:36:58.260 --> 00:37:04.760 Lead. Lead in that way. There's no excuse. Prayer, 00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:08.320 singing, repentance. Put those three down here. 00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:12.980 Lead are you leading as a repentant father and 00:37:12.980 --> 00:37:16.900 husband? Do you apologize to your wife when you 00:37:16.900 --> 00:37:21.199 when you sin when you felt your kids know? Hey, 00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:23.920 I sinned against mom. I was upset with her. I 00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:27.539 sinned against you. I was angry with you Are 00:37:27.539 --> 00:37:32.500 you leading in repentance? That's how we lead 00:37:32.500 --> 00:37:36.440 practically Everybody all of your kids know that 00:37:36.440 --> 00:37:38.780 you're not perfect Right? I mean, you're not 00:37:38.780 --> 00:37:41.440 hiding anything there. They see it. Your wife 00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:44.219 knows that you're not perfect. How are you leading 00:37:44.219 --> 00:37:49.659 them? Are you leading them in repentance? Humbling 00:37:49.659 --> 00:37:54.380 yourself and asking forgiveness. You've got to 00:37:54.380 --> 00:38:05.530 lead in that way. Finances. Okay? Husbands, you're 00:38:05.530 --> 00:38:09.130 responsible for the finances in the home. Now 00:38:09.130 --> 00:38:10.869 does that mean you have to be the one to pay 00:38:10.869 --> 00:38:14.570 the bills? No, it doesn't. But if your wife pays 00:38:14.570 --> 00:38:16.989 the bills, you better make sure there's money 00:38:16.989 --> 00:38:20.389 there to pay the bills. Or you better make sure 00:38:20.389 --> 00:38:23.590 that things aren't being overspent in certain 00:38:23.590 --> 00:38:26.489 areas. Okay, it's not that you have to do everything. 00:38:26.590 --> 00:38:29.730 We've said this before. You don't have to do 00:38:29.730 --> 00:38:32.550 everything in the home But you're responsible 00:38:32.550 --> 00:38:36.969 to see that everything is done. And so if there's 00:38:36.969 --> 00:38:39.670 overspending being done, you've got to deal with 00:38:39.670 --> 00:38:42.909 that. That's your responsibility. If it's you, 00:38:42.949 --> 00:38:46.389 you better quit. If it's your wife, you better 00:38:46.389 --> 00:38:49.550 deal with it. Babe, we can't spend this money. 00:38:51.530 --> 00:38:55.630 She keeps spending it. Honey, we don't have the 00:38:55.630 --> 00:38:59.150 money. She keeps spending it. What are you going 00:38:59.150 --> 00:39:03.710 to do? You better deal with it. You better take 00:39:03.710 --> 00:39:05.769 the card. You better take the debit card, the 00:39:05.769 --> 00:39:10.429 credit card. You gotta do something. Because 00:39:10.429 --> 00:39:15.190 you can't overspend. You're responsible to lead 00:39:15.190 --> 00:39:19.469 her in those things. Deal with them. Leading 00:39:19.469 --> 00:39:22.489 is not, man, we overspent again. We really gotta 00:39:22.489 --> 00:39:25.449 get that under control. And the next month, boy, 00:39:26.150 --> 00:39:29.070 it didn't get any better this month. We did the 00:39:29.070 --> 00:39:32.639 same exact thing. That's not leadership. That's 00:39:32.639 --> 00:39:38.539 failure. You have got to lead your home. How 00:39:38.539 --> 00:39:41.599 are your spending habits? Are you leading your 00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:48.159 wife in sleep? Is that an important thing? Are 00:39:48.159 --> 00:39:50.420 you getting to bed when you need to? Are you 00:39:50.420 --> 00:39:54.440 rising at a reasonable time? That's your responsibility. 00:39:55.079 --> 00:39:58.760 Your kid's the same thing. What example are you 00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:01.690 setting? Is it I sleep as much as I possibly 00:40:01.690 --> 00:40:05.389 can and I still get my job done? No, that's not 00:40:05.389 --> 00:40:09.130 how it works. If that's your mentality, go to 00:40:09.130 --> 00:40:11.650 the ant, thou slugger. Consider her ways and 00:40:11.650 --> 00:40:18.389 be wise. Get up. Get up at a reasonable time. 00:40:19.510 --> 00:40:22.949 Get up and get your job done. Get your work around 00:40:22.949 --> 00:40:26.130 the house taken care of. Spend time with your 00:40:26.130 --> 00:40:29.190 wife. Spend time with the Lord. Spend time with 00:40:29.190 --> 00:40:33.489 your children. Get out of your bed. Are you leading 00:40:33.489 --> 00:40:38.730 in that way? Are you leading your wife in that 00:40:38.730 --> 00:40:43.590 way? Does your wife get up at a decent time or 00:40:43.590 --> 00:40:48.730 is it just whatever she feels like? Are you leading 00:40:48.730 --> 00:40:52.030 your home? Are things being accomplished that 00:40:52.030 --> 00:40:54.889 are supposed to be accomplished each day in your 00:40:54.889 --> 00:40:57.809 home? If they're not, you're not leading well. 00:41:00.490 --> 00:41:04.050 Don't know if I wrote this down or not, but just 00:41:04.050 --> 00:41:08.949 yeah time management Are you stressed and hurried 00:41:08.949 --> 00:41:11.730 and never feel like you never have enough time 00:41:11.730 --> 00:41:17.210 in a day if that's how you feel You're not you're 00:41:17.210 --> 00:41:19.170 not leading yourself. And if that's how your 00:41:19.170 --> 00:41:23.110 wife feels you're not leading your wife Your 00:41:23.110 --> 00:41:26.409 wife should not feel stressed and hurried and 00:41:26.409 --> 00:41:28.909 there's never enough time in the day to accomplish 00:41:28.909 --> 00:41:32.840 what needs to be accomplished If that's the case, 00:41:34.400 --> 00:41:37.579 you failed. Because how much time do we have 00:41:37.579 --> 00:41:43.000 in a day? Just enough. The Lord has given us 00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:45.940 things to do in a day and enough time in the 00:41:45.940 --> 00:41:48.780 day to accomplish everything that we're to accomplish. 00:41:49.639 --> 00:41:52.159 And so if at the end of the day you say, I didn't 00:41:52.159 --> 00:41:54.820 get done what I needed to, you haven't managed 00:41:54.820 --> 00:41:59.050 your time well. Maybe you slept too much. Maybe 00:41:59.050 --> 00:42:02.010 you daydream too much. Maybe you worried about 00:42:02.010 --> 00:42:03.349 things that you shouldn't have been worrying 00:42:03.349 --> 00:42:07.929 about. You men are to lead in this. You are to 00:42:07.929 --> 00:42:14.210 lead your wives in this. Order your day appropriately. 00:42:18.829 --> 00:42:21.929 You are responsible to lead your wife in her 00:42:21.929 --> 00:42:25.329 emotions. Now, I understand that some men are 00:42:25.329 --> 00:42:28.239 more emotional than women. I get that. And so 00:42:28.239 --> 00:42:32.280 I'm not talking to you right now. If your wife 00:42:32.280 --> 00:42:35.440 is a more emotional creature than you are, then 00:42:35.440 --> 00:42:39.039 you better lead her in her emotions. She's not 00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:42.940 to be led by her emotions and her feelings and 00:42:42.940 --> 00:42:45.920 all of the threats and stresses in life. No. 00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:51.539 You are to lead her and instruct her and encourage 00:42:51.539 --> 00:42:55.699 her in that. We do not fear, hon. There's nothing 00:42:55.699 --> 00:42:58.860 to fear. We're not going to live based on fear. 00:42:59.699 --> 00:43:02.260 We're going to base our lives on trust in God. 00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:08.260 We're walking by faith, not emotion. If it's 00:43:08.260 --> 00:43:11.360 the other way around, if you men are more emotional 00:43:11.360 --> 00:43:16.820 than your wives, get it under control. Deal with 00:43:16.820 --> 00:43:23.840 it. Lead as you should. By showing her, I can 00:43:23.840 --> 00:43:26.519 control my emotions. I'm not going to be led 00:43:26.519 --> 00:43:29.280 by fear. I'm going to lead in a way that the 00:43:29.280 --> 00:43:32.840 Lord has called me in trust and faith and walking 00:43:32.840 --> 00:43:36.300 as God has called me to walk. That is how it's 00:43:36.300 --> 00:43:40.960 done. There's no excuse. There's never an excuse. 00:43:41.820 --> 00:43:45.280 Men, if your home is not in order, whose fault 00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:49.920 is it? It's yours. If your wife is discontent, 00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:53.559 it's your fault. You haven't done it. You have 00:43:53.559 --> 00:43:58.170 failed. You are responsible to lead in every 00:43:58.170 --> 00:44:02.090 area of her life, your life, and your children's 00:44:02.090 --> 00:44:06.929 life. That is what Scripture commands of us as 00:44:06.929 --> 00:44:14.050 men, as husbands, as fathers. There is no off 00:44:14.050 --> 00:44:20.969 day for us. There's no off moment. We work continually. 00:44:21.150 --> 00:44:26.769 Our work is never done. leading in a godly way. 00:44:30.630 --> 00:44:35.429 If you find it difficult to lead, okay, again, 00:44:35.829 --> 00:44:38.210 everybody's different, right? There are men out 00:44:38.210 --> 00:44:41.469 there who are just natural leaders. They know 00:44:41.469 --> 00:44:43.510 what it is to take charge. They're more than 00:44:43.510 --> 00:44:45.909 willing to take charge, and they do it, and they 00:44:45.909 --> 00:44:50.909 do it really well. Well, that's wonderful. Continue 00:44:50.909 --> 00:44:54.280 on. If you're not that kind of a person, what 00:44:54.280 --> 00:44:58.079 do you do? If you're more of a, I'd rather just 00:44:58.079 --> 00:45:01.519 kind of hold back, lay back, and you know, I'm 00:45:01.519 --> 00:45:04.659 happy my wife is willing to really get after 00:45:04.659 --> 00:45:09.659 it. You have got to lead. You've got to step 00:45:09.659 --> 00:45:16.500 up. You've got to deal with your inadequacies 00:45:16.500 --> 00:45:20.880 of leadership and be a leader. It's not an option 00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:23.599 not to be. It's not an option to follow your 00:45:23.599 --> 00:45:26.739 wife's leadership. That's wrong. That's sinful. 00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:29.219 That's unbiblical. That's not pleasing to the 00:45:29.219 --> 00:45:32.880 Lord. You have to be the leader of the home. 00:45:33.619 --> 00:45:37.340 So you have got to step up. You've got to be, 00:45:37.340 --> 00:45:42.960 again, intentional in these things. Maybe you've 00:45:42.960 --> 00:45:45.619 got to make a list each day. These are some things 00:45:45.619 --> 00:45:48.000 I need to talk to my wife about These are some 00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:49.900 things we talked about a couple weeks ago or 00:45:49.900 --> 00:45:51.860 a couple months ago that we've never really resolved 00:45:51.860 --> 00:45:53.639 We've been thinking about them and so I've got 00:45:53.639 --> 00:45:56.360 a lead in this and so we can make some decisions 00:45:56.360 --> 00:46:02.099 Whatever you have to do. That's what you do To 00:46:02.099 --> 00:46:06.579 lead your wife Wives if you're more of the take 00:46:06.579 --> 00:46:10.760 charge and leader type What do you have to do? 00:46:11.480 --> 00:46:15.559 You have to pull it back You have to encourage 00:46:15.559 --> 00:46:19.599 your husband, not nag him. Encourage him, help 00:46:19.599 --> 00:46:24.019 him, right? Why was Eve given to Adam as a helper? 00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:30.320 It's not a demeaning position. Wives, help your 00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:33.539 husbands lead. Honey, we really need to make 00:46:33.539 --> 00:46:38.639 a decision here. I know we talked about it. What 00:46:38.639 --> 00:46:42.699 do we need to do here? Lead me in this. Help 00:46:42.699 --> 00:46:46.579 him, encourage him. And when your wives are doing 00:46:46.579 --> 00:46:50.539 that, say, yes, I will make that decision. I 00:46:50.539 --> 00:46:53.440 will get it to you in the morning. I will have 00:46:53.440 --> 00:46:57.320 a decision, whatever it is. You have got to take 00:46:57.320 --> 00:47:03.519 charge. Lead your wives. Pray for him, encourage 00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:07.360 him. Help him in all that you can. Don't usurp 00:47:07.360 --> 00:47:09.159 his authority and think that things are going 00:47:09.159 --> 00:47:12.889 to go great just because he won't lead. Encourage 00:47:12.889 --> 00:47:18.070 him in his leadership. Thank him for it. When 00:47:18.070 --> 00:47:22.510 it happens, encourage him in those ways. Do everything 00:47:22.510 --> 00:47:29.610 that you can to help him. Men, step up. Be responsible. 00:47:30.510 --> 00:47:38.630 Lead by example. Lead in all ways. I hope that 00:47:38.630 --> 00:47:42.360 that is helpful. I hope that it gives us some 00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:47.320 things to think about as husbands. I hope the 00:47:47.320 --> 00:47:50.360 responsibility that rests upon us I have brought 00:47:50.360 --> 00:47:54.219 home to you today. It is not a small matter that 00:47:54.219 --> 00:47:58.760 we are called to as husbands. It is a huge deal. 00:47:59.639 --> 00:48:03.000 It is a huge responsibility. We need the help 00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:08.219 of the Lord in this. Ask for that help. Seek 00:48:08.219 --> 00:48:12.880 Him. Spend time in prayer. Spend time in the 00:48:12.880 --> 00:48:17.340 Word. So that you can lead your family. So that 00:48:17.340 --> 00:48:19.739 you can lead your wife and your children in a 00:48:19.739 --> 00:48:20.780 God -honoring way.