Welcome back to Unit 5.
So far in this course, we’ve focused on understanding communication from the outside.
But in this unit, we shift inward.
We focus on something that is just as important—but often overlooked: you as the listener.
Two people can hear the exact same message and walk away with completely different interpretations.
This doesn’t happen because the message changed, but because they did.
Their thoughts, experiences, emotions, and habits shape meaning and response.
And that is where misunderstandings often begin.
Today we focus on two concepts: response styles and personal biases.
Response styles refer to how you react. Biases refer to how you interpret.
Let’s begin with a realistic situation.
Someone says, “You’ve seemed kind of distant lately.”
There is no tone explained. No examples given.
Notice your first thought, emotion, and reaction.
This is where response styles and biases become visible.
First, we examine interpretation.
Andrew J. Floyd explains that meaning is not in words—it is in people.
Meaning is constructed by the listener.
The words themselves do not contain criticism or concern.
You assign that meaning.
This reflects constructivism—people actively create meaning.
Your brain fills in gaps using experiences, emotions, and expectations.
That is why two people interpret the same message differently.
Now let’s examine response styles.
A defensive response might sound like: “I haven’t been distant—you’re overreacting.”
This reflects Jack Gibb’s concept of defensive communication.
When people feel judged, they move into self-protection.
This often escalates conflict.
A clarifying response sounds like: “What makes you feel that way?”
This reflects slow, deliberate thinking described by Daniel Kahneman.
It reduces misunderstanding and keeps communication open.
An aggressive response might sound like: “Maybe you’ve been acting different too.”
This aligns with the competing style from Thomas and Kilmann.
It increases tension and damages trust.
An avoidant response might be: “I’ve just been busy.”
This reflects Gudykunst’s work on uncertainty and avoidance.
It avoids conflict but leaves issues unresolved.
A passive response might sound like: “Okay… I’m sorry.”
This suppresses your voice and creates imbalance.
An assertive response balances both perspectives.
It promotes clarity and respect.
An empathic response focuses on understanding.
This builds trust and reduces defensiveness.
Now we turn to personal biases.
Your brain uses shortcuts called heuristics.
These can lead to errors in interpretation.
You may assume criticism, rely on past experiences, or confirm existing beliefs.
This influences how you interpret the message.
The process is simple but powerful.
Message → Bias → Interpretation → Emotion → Response → Outcome
When automatic, this leads to misunderstanding.
When intentional, it leads to clarity.
Improvement begins with awareness.
Pause. Separate what was said from what you assumed.
Then choose your response intentionally.
In real life, your response shapes relationships.
It determines whether conversations build trust or create conflict.
It affects how others perceive you.
And it shapes the communication climate around you.
Understanding your patterns allows you to improve them.
To conclude, this unit shifts the focus inward.
Communication is not just about what others say.
It is about how you interpret and respond.
Awareness leads to intentional communication.
And intentional communication leads to better outcomes.
I will see you in the next lesson.