WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.000 Welcome back to Unit 5. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:14.000 So far in this course, we’ve focused on understanding communication from the outside. 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:20.000 But in this unit, we shift inward. 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:28.000 We focus on something that is just as important—but often overlooked: you as the listener. 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:36.000 Two people can hear the exact same message and walk away with completely different interpretations. 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:44.000 This doesn’t happen because the message changed, but because they did. 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:52.000 Their thoughts, experiences, emotions, and habits shape meaning and response. 00:00:52.000 --> 00:01:00.000 And that is where misunderstandings often begin. 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:10.000 Today we focus on two concepts: response styles and personal biases. 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:18.000 Response styles refer to how you react. Biases refer to how you interpret. 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:26.000 Let’s begin with a realistic situation. 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:35.000 Someone says, “You’ve seemed kind of distant lately.” 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:43.000 There is no tone explained. No examples given. 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:52.000 Notice your first thought, emotion, and reaction. 00:01:52.000 --> 00:02:00.000 This is where response styles and biases become visible. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:08.000 First, we examine interpretation. 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:18.000 Andrew J. Floyd explains that meaning is not in words—it is in people. 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:26.000 Meaning is constructed by the listener. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:34.000 The words themselves do not contain criticism or concern. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:42.000 You assign that meaning. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:50.000 This reflects constructivism—people actively create meaning. 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:58.000 Your brain fills in gaps using experiences, emotions, and expectations. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:06.000 That is why two people interpret the same message differently. 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:14.000 Now let’s examine response styles. 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:22.000 A defensive response might sound like: “I haven’t been distant—you’re overreacting.” 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:30.000 This reflects Jack Gibb’s concept of defensive communication. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:38.000 When people feel judged, they move into self-protection. 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:46.000 This often escalates conflict. 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:54.000 A clarifying response sounds like: “What makes you feel that way?” 00:03:54.000 --> 00:04:02.000 This reflects slow, deliberate thinking described by Daniel Kahneman. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:10.000 It reduces misunderstanding and keeps communication open. 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:18.000 An aggressive response might sound like: “Maybe you’ve been acting different too.” 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:26.000 This aligns with the competing style from Thomas and Kilmann. 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:34.000 It increases tension and damages trust. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:42.000 An avoidant response might be: “I’ve just been busy.” 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:50.000 This reflects Gudykunst’s work on uncertainty and avoidance. 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:58.000 It avoids conflict but leaves issues unresolved. 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:06.000 A passive response might sound like: “Okay… I’m sorry.” 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:14.000 This suppresses your voice and creates imbalance. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:22.000 An assertive response balances both perspectives. 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:30.000 It promotes clarity and respect. 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:38.000 An empathic response focuses on understanding. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:46.000 This builds trust and reduces defensiveness. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:54.000 Now we turn to personal biases. 00:05:54.000 --> 00:06:02.000 Your brain uses shortcuts called heuristics. 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:10.000 These can lead to errors in interpretation. 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:18.000 You may assume criticism, rely on past experiences, or confirm existing beliefs. 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:26.000 This influences how you interpret the message. 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:34.000 The process is simple but powerful. 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:42.000 Message → Bias → Interpretation → Emotion → Response → Outcome 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:50.000 When automatic, this leads to misunderstanding. 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:58.000 When intentional, it leads to clarity. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:06.000 Improvement begins with awareness. 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:14.000 Pause. Separate what was said from what you assumed. 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:22.000 Then choose your response intentionally. 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:30.000 In real life, your response shapes relationships. 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:38.000 It determines whether conversations build trust or create conflict. 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:46.000 It affects how others perceive you. 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:54.000 And it shapes the communication climate around you. 00:07:54.000 --> 00:08:02.000 Understanding your patterns allows you to improve them. 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:10.000 To conclude, this unit shifts the focus inward. 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:18.000 Communication is not just about what others say. 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:26.000 It is about how you interpret and respond. 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:34.000 Awareness leads to intentional communication. 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:42.000 And intentional communication leads to better outcomes. 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:48.000 I will see you in the next lesson.