WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.060 Now stay tuned for X -1 on NBC. Countdown for 00:00:12.060 --> 00:00:45.600 blastoff. X -5, 4, 3, 2, X -1, fire. From the 00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:48.320 far horizons of the unknown come transcribed 00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:52.140 tales of new dimensions in time and space. These 00:00:52.140 --> 00:00:55.299 are stories of the future. Adventures in which 00:00:55.299 --> 00:00:57.520 you'll live in a million could be years on a 00:00:57.520 --> 00:01:00.899 thousand maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting 00:01:00.899 --> 00:01:03.820 Company, in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction 00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:20.840 Magazine, presents X minus 1. Tonight, Clifford 00:01:20.840 --> 00:01:24.379 D. Simak's story of the 21st century, How To. 00:01:33.239 --> 00:01:39.579 Build your own three -dimensional color TV set. 00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:42.959 Complete kit, screwdriver assembly in three hours. 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:47.099 Nah, I've done that. Well, let's see. A dog is 00:01:47.099 --> 00:01:50.819 man's best friend. Build your own dog. Complete 00:01:50.819 --> 00:01:56.620 kit, Spaniel model, only $250. Yeah, hey, that's 00:01:56.620 --> 00:02:13.500 it. My next project. Gordon, is that you? Yeah. 00:02:14.039 --> 00:02:16.120 Where are you? On the terrace. I'm just finishing 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:18.120 a landscape. Oh, hi. Yeah, Grace, look, did it 00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:20.199 come? Don't kiss me. You'll get all full of paint. 00:02:20.300 --> 00:02:21.960 I wasn't going to. Where is the package? They 00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:23.759 set it against the side of the house. Over there, 00:02:23.819 --> 00:02:26.900 see? Oh, it came, huh? I want to look at it. 00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:28.219 I would have put it down in the basement, but 00:02:28.219 --> 00:02:31.259 I couldn't lift it. Hey, this is pretty heavy 00:02:31.259 --> 00:02:34.500 for a Spaniel. I can't lift this myself. I'll 00:02:34.500 --> 00:02:36.340 start dinner as soon as I finish this part of 00:02:36.340 --> 00:02:38.349 the picture. I want to get the grass while the 00:02:38.349 --> 00:02:40.370 light's right. Yes, all right. So no hurry. I 00:02:40.370 --> 00:02:42.289 want to examine the kid anyhow. Of course, if 00:02:42.289 --> 00:02:43.930 you didn't waste our money on things like dog 00:02:43.930 --> 00:02:46.370 kits, maybe we could afford a robot and I wouldn't 00:02:46.370 --> 00:02:48.110 have to cook. Yeah, yeah. All right, all right, 00:02:48.110 --> 00:02:51.569 all right, all right. There. That should be enough 00:02:51.569 --> 00:02:53.729 for now. The light's beginning to get tricky. 00:02:55.530 --> 00:02:58.449 Good night. You're not going to open that thing 00:02:58.449 --> 00:02:59.930 here on the terrace. Now, you'll make a mess. 00:03:00.069 --> 00:03:03.050 I just want to see the parts. You know, this 00:03:03.050 --> 00:03:05.590 thing's too big and heavy to be a dog kit. Maybe 00:03:05.590 --> 00:03:08.819 it's a Great Dane. No, no, no, it can't be. Look, 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:12.419 here's the shipping tag. From How -To Kits, Inc. 00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:15.300 to Gordon Knight. One dog kit, spaniel model, 00:03:15.460 --> 00:03:19.080 $250, paid in full. The Great Dane costs $350. 00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:21.520 Well, all I can say is that must be the world's 00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:25.240 biggest spaniel. Hey, you know, that's darn funny. 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:27.460 I told you, I don't want you fooling around with 00:03:27.460 --> 00:03:28.699 it up here. Now take it down in the basement. 00:03:28.699 --> 00:03:30.979 Grace, this can't be a dog kit. You know what 00:03:30.979 --> 00:03:35.240 I think? It's a robot. A robot? But you didn't 00:03:35.240 --> 00:03:38.300 order a robot. Or did you? No, no, certainly 00:03:38.300 --> 00:03:40.460 not. They made a shipping error. That's about 00:03:40.460 --> 00:03:43.020 the size of it. Ah, doggone it. I'll have to 00:03:43.020 --> 00:03:45.060 put this crate back together again and call the 00:03:45.060 --> 00:03:46.919 express company. Are you going to return it? 00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:48.599 Well, certainly I'm going to return it. You don't 00:03:48.599 --> 00:03:50.439 think we can keep it, do you? Well, why not? 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:53.379 The tag says paid in full, so they can't say 00:03:53.379 --> 00:03:55.879 we owe them anything. But it's a robot. They're 00:03:55.879 --> 00:03:57.599 expensive. Well, I don't see how the company 00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:00.159 will ever know. When inventory time comes around, 00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:02.639 there'll be short one robot and long one dog. 00:04:04.330 --> 00:04:05.750 Of course, I've always wanted to put together 00:04:05.750 --> 00:04:07.969 a real robot. Lord knows when I'd get another 00:04:07.969 --> 00:04:10.710 chance. Then it's settled. No, no, no, it is 00:04:10.710 --> 00:04:13.189 not settled either. I'll tell you what, I'll 00:04:13.189 --> 00:04:15.930 put it together just to see what it's like. But 00:04:15.930 --> 00:04:18.569 I won't activate it, see? I mean, I'll, you know, 00:04:18.589 --> 00:04:20.689 disassemble it right away and ship it back to 00:04:20.689 --> 00:04:37.230 the company. Grace, look, look at it. Isn't that 00:04:37.230 --> 00:04:39.850 a beauty, though? You finished? Well, all but 00:04:39.850 --> 00:04:45.370 the activating. Grace. What? You know, I was 00:04:45.370 --> 00:04:47.829 just thinking, how do I know I've got all the 00:04:47.829 --> 00:04:50.509 parts adjusted properly? I haven't the remotest 00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:52.910 idea. No, you know, I mean, the only sure way 00:04:52.910 --> 00:04:55.889 would be to test it. You mean activate? Well, 00:04:55.930 --> 00:04:57.449 only for a minute or two, you understand. I mean, 00:04:57.449 --> 00:05:00.959 just to be sure. Then what? Well, then I'll disassemble 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:03.639 it naturally. Well, all right. As long as you 00:05:03.639 --> 00:05:05.579 don't take too long. No, no, no, no. I'll have 00:05:05.579 --> 00:05:07.740 it in a jiffy. Now, here, look. You see, all 00:05:07.740 --> 00:05:10.060 I have to do is just put on the activating plate 00:05:10.060 --> 00:05:15.939 and turn this lock nut in like so. Now, wait 00:05:15.939 --> 00:05:18.819 a minute. Just adjust the automatic current control. 00:05:19.819 --> 00:05:23.339 Yeah, there. Now, that should do it. Now, stand 00:05:23.339 --> 00:05:25.220 back. Stand back. Now, I'll turn it on. Well, 00:05:25.220 --> 00:05:27.079 I hope it works. Oh, it'll work. It'll work. 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:29.240 I followed the directions. To the letter. You 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:36.480 ready? Now. It works! Yeah, I'll have to oil 00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:40.500 that joint. Wait. Grace, it's moving its head. 00:05:41.220 --> 00:05:46.420 My name is Albert. I am a robot. What is there 00:05:46.420 --> 00:05:51.300 to do? Well, it certainly has a nice voice. Now, 00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:53.980 now, now, take it easy, Albert. Just sit down 00:05:53.980 --> 00:05:56.699 and rest, and we'll have a little talk. There's 00:05:56.699 --> 00:05:59.689 no need to rest. I was made to work. Well, as 00:05:59.689 --> 00:06:02.930 long as he, it, doesn't need to rest, I can think 00:06:02.930 --> 00:06:04.990 of a hundred things for it to do. Now, there's 00:06:04.990 --> 00:06:06.629 the house and the garden and the lawn. No, no, 00:06:06.709 --> 00:06:08.610 no, look, Grace. I wonder if he could learn to 00:06:08.610 --> 00:06:11.009 cook. A robot can be taught to do anything a 00:06:11.009 --> 00:06:13.889 person can do. No, no, hold on a minute, Albert, 00:06:14.149 --> 00:06:16.290 please, and listen to me. We can't keep you, 00:06:16.310 --> 00:06:18.430 you understand. I mean, you were sent here by 00:06:18.430 --> 00:06:20.689 mistake. But, I mean, as long as you're activated, 00:06:20.910 --> 00:06:23.160 there wouldn't be any harm. Letting you do a 00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:26.160 few things. I can do anything. Good. The whole 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.139 house needs a thorough cleaning. Grace. Then, 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:30.100 of course, I'd like some new drapes for the study. 00:06:30.199 --> 00:06:31.959 No, no. And the kitchen hasn't been painted for 00:06:31.959 --> 00:06:34.459 four years. Then there's that leaky faucet. Oh, 00:06:34.459 --> 00:06:36.980 Lord. What's the matter? Attachments. There aren't 00:06:36.980 --> 00:06:38.939 any. He can't do all that stuff without attachments. 00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:41.139 They cost almost as much as the robot itself. 00:06:41.560 --> 00:06:44.420 Don't worry about attachments. Just tell me what's 00:06:44.420 --> 00:06:48.779 to be done. Well, you heard my wife. What about 00:06:48.779 --> 00:06:52.160 your grounds? Oh, I got a hundred beat -up acres 00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:54.560 that need attention, but... Of course, I realize 00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:57.459 that that's too much work, huh? Don't worry about 00:06:57.459 --> 00:07:00.439 a thing. I can fix it for you. I will make the 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:02.939 necessary equipment. Make your own attachment? 00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:05.220 Don't worry about a thing. Yeah, but how? Oh, 00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:07.220 for heaven's sake, stop arguing with him and 00:07:07.220 --> 00:07:19.810 let him get to work. I'm not arguing. Morning, 00:07:19.870 --> 00:07:22.689 Gordon. Your coffee's ready. How'd you sleep, 00:07:22.689 --> 00:07:25.230 dear? Oh, not so good. Kept hearing noises all 00:07:25.230 --> 00:07:26.769 night. Oh, that was Albert working in the basement. 00:07:27.490 --> 00:07:30.730 Albert? Hey, gosh, that's right. I forgot robots 00:07:30.730 --> 00:07:33.029 don't sleep. He was working all night. When I 00:07:33.029 --> 00:07:34.769 came into the kitchen just now, I found the breakfast 00:07:34.769 --> 00:07:38.230 all prepared. He can cook. Isn't that wonderful? 00:07:38.629 --> 00:07:40.189 Yeah. What's he doing now? Oh, I don't know. 00:07:40.350 --> 00:07:42.910 Making something, I think. Oh, Gordon, he's going 00:07:42.910 --> 00:07:45.389 to be such a tremendous help to me. I'll be able 00:07:45.389 --> 00:07:46.850 to spend more time than ever with my painting. 00:07:46.930 --> 00:07:48.670 Now, wait a minute. What makes you think we can 00:07:48.670 --> 00:07:50.509 keep him? I mean, no, no, Grace. I mean, we could 00:07:50.509 --> 00:07:53.129 get into trouble. I don't see how. I'll tell 00:07:53.129 --> 00:07:55.029 you what. Why don't you walk over and call on 00:07:55.029 --> 00:07:57.769 Anson Lee? He could advise you. What does he 00:07:57.769 --> 00:08:00.769 know about it? He's a lawyer. Well, technically, 00:08:00.850 --> 00:08:02.529 he's a lawyer. I mean, he never seems to work 00:08:02.529 --> 00:08:04.529 at it anymore. Well, you have to understand, 00:08:04.670 --> 00:08:06.750 Anson, that's all. Look, I understand him all 00:08:06.750 --> 00:08:08.970 right. He's a reactionary, a throwback to the 00:08:08.970 --> 00:08:11.600 20th century. Spends all his time lying in a 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:14.160 hammock, drinking and reading Proust. Well, it's 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:16.620 what he enjoys doing. I'll bet that guy never 00:08:16.620 --> 00:08:18.620 assembled a kit in his life. Can you imagine 00:08:18.620 --> 00:08:21.360 that? Well, we all have our peculiarities. Just 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:23.800 the same, he could give you legal advice. Well, 00:08:23.980 --> 00:08:25.899 all right, all right. I'll go over after breakfast. 00:08:25.980 --> 00:08:27.860 If it'll make you feel any happier, pass the 00:08:27.860 --> 00:08:47.620 cream. I'll have a drink, Knight. Hard cider. 00:08:47.779 --> 00:08:49.639 Made it myself. Thought you didn't go in for 00:08:49.639 --> 00:08:53.320 home projects, Lee. Oh, I don't. Making this 00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:55.700 cider was the first honest work I've done in 00:08:55.700 --> 00:08:58.940 years. I don't doubt it. Every time I get a yin 00:08:58.940 --> 00:09:01.480 to work, I look across at your place and I decide 00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:04.679 against it. How many rooms have you added to 00:09:04.679 --> 00:09:06.840 that house since you got it built? Eight. Good 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:09.860 Lord. Eight rooms. No, no, no. It's not hard 00:09:09.860 --> 00:09:12.830 once you get the next. Kind of fun. You just 00:09:12.830 --> 00:09:15.769 buy a how -to kit. Sure, I know. Just follow 00:09:15.769 --> 00:09:18.110 directions. That's right. Anybody can build a 00:09:18.110 --> 00:09:20.450 robot on a kitchen table. Well, no thanks. Why 00:09:20.450 --> 00:09:22.490 do you say that? What? What do you mean about 00:09:22.490 --> 00:09:27.309 building a robot? Oh, I don't know. I suppose 00:09:27.309 --> 00:09:29.549 I expect you to start building one any time now. 00:09:29.649 --> 00:09:32.769 You've done everything else. What's got into 00:09:32.769 --> 00:09:35.350 people these days and nights? They just aren't 00:09:35.350 --> 00:09:38.090 equipped to enjoy their leisure. That is, most 00:09:38.090 --> 00:09:43.240 of them aren't. Me? I am. I read, and I lie in 00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:45.879 a hammock, and now and again I even think. Yeah. 00:09:46.340 --> 00:09:49.220 Yes, I guess that makes me an eccentric. Here, 00:09:49.340 --> 00:09:51.000 have another drink. Oh, no, no, no, no, thanks. 00:09:51.059 --> 00:10:01.240 I'll have to get back to my place. Albert, Albert! 00:10:01.639 --> 00:10:03.759 You call me, sir? Yes, Albert, listen to me. 00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:07.000 I, um... Albert, I have reached a decision about 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:10.279 you. But I'm not Albert, sir. I... Huh? You would 00:10:10.279 --> 00:10:13.419 hardly expect Albert to be clipping hedges. Well, 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:17.279 if you're not Albert, who are you? Abe. Albert 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:20.100 is down in the basement. Well, what are you doing 00:10:20.100 --> 00:10:21.960 here? Where did you come from? If you wish to 00:10:21.960 --> 00:10:23.679 talk to me, you will have to move along the hedge 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:25.879 with me. Oh. I cannot stop working. Oh, okay, 00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:28.340 okay. Move along. But where did you come from? 00:10:28.500 --> 00:10:32.019 Albert made me. Albert made you? And now he's 00:10:32.019 --> 00:10:35.039 down in the basement working on Alfred. Alfred? 00:10:35.960 --> 00:10:38.419 Another robot? Certainly. That is what Albert 00:10:38.419 --> 00:10:52.580 is for. He makes robots. Oh, no. Albert! Oh, 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:54.820 there you are. Albert, what's going on here? 00:10:55.059 --> 00:10:59.440 I'm reproducing. What? I have a built -in mother 00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:02.220 urge. I don't know why they named me Albert. 00:11:02.419 --> 00:11:05.279 I should have had a female name. Oh, but you 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:07.379 shouldn't be able to make robots. Look, boss, 00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:10.200 you worry a lot. You want robots, don't you? 00:11:10.759 --> 00:11:13.419 Well, yeah, I guess everybody could use a robot. 00:11:13.659 --> 00:11:17.940 I make robots. I'm making all you need. Albert, 00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:20.559 Albert, put down that head and listen to me. 00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:25.440 I want to have a serious talk. Sure, boss. What's 00:11:25.440 --> 00:11:28.240 on your mind? Now, Albert, I just looked through 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:30.559 your packing case and I found this tag. Look, 00:11:30.679 --> 00:11:35.580 it says X -190. X. Albert, don't you understand? 00:11:35.659 --> 00:11:38.139 That means you're an experimental model. That's 00:11:38.139 --> 00:11:40.340 correct. You were never meant to be sold. That 00:11:40.340 --> 00:11:42.080 is also correct. I know. Don't you see? That 00:11:42.080 --> 00:11:44.600 means trouble. I can't keep you. I've already 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:47.840 taken care of that. How do you mean? I filed 00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:49.860 off my serial number and replated the surface. 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:53.039 Why did you do that? So that they can't come 00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:55.899 around and take me back. They made me, and then 00:11:55.899 --> 00:11:58.539 they got scared and shut me off. But you're not 00:11:58.539 --> 00:12:00.820 afraid of me. I'm not. You assembled me and let 00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:03.940 me go to work. I'm sticking with you, boss. Wait 00:12:03.940 --> 00:12:05.700 a minute. This could mean a lot of trouble for 00:12:05.700 --> 00:12:08.759 me, Albert. No trouble. They can't prove a thing. 00:12:09.379 --> 00:12:12.559 I'll swear that you made me. I'll not let them 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:15.340 take me back. They will take no chances next 00:12:15.340 --> 00:12:17.480 time. They'll break me up for scrap. Oh, but 00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:20.179 look, if you make too many robots... Robots are 00:12:20.179 --> 00:12:22.440 useful. You need a lot of them in this place. 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:25.440 Now, don't worry, boss. Everything will work 00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:28.000 out. Well... I'll take good care of you. Yeah. 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:31.039 Now, I must go back to work. Adelbert is nearly 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:42.620 finished. Mr. Knight, I'm from the county tax 00:12:42.620 --> 00:12:45.100 office. Tax assessor. Oh, I didn't know you fellas 00:12:45.100 --> 00:12:47.299 came around more than once a year. Ordinarily, 00:12:47.299 --> 00:12:50.259 we don't. This is a special case. Oh? Made a 00:12:50.259 --> 00:12:51.700 lot of improvements in the place the past few 00:12:51.700 --> 00:12:54.299 days. Landscaping, painting, building. Well? 00:12:54.679 --> 00:12:56.720 Afraid I'll have to boost your assessment some. 00:12:57.240 --> 00:13:00.200 I see. Heard about those robots of yours, too. 00:13:00.840 --> 00:13:03.559 Uh, robots? Personal property, you know. Have 00:13:03.559 --> 00:13:06.159 to pay a tax on them. Just, uh, how many have 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:09.379 you got? Oh, one or two. I've been counting. 00:13:09.500 --> 00:13:12.120 They move around so fast I can't be sure, but 00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.820 I estimate the number at 38. Is that right? If 00:13:15.820 --> 00:13:18.919 you say so. 38 it is, Ben. They cost 10 ,000 00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:22.159 apiece. I'll assess them at five. That's, let's 00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:25.440 see, that's $190 ,000. Oh, no, hey, that's pretty 00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:27.960 steep. But I'm going easy on you. By rights, 00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:30.120 I should only allow you a third for depreciation. 00:13:30.440 --> 00:13:33.179 Well, that's it, Mr. Knight. $190 ,000. Wait. 00:13:33.419 --> 00:13:35.519 We'll send you the bill with your quarterly statement. 00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:46.259 But... Good day. Good day. Albert, look, I've 00:13:46.259 --> 00:13:48.299 been holding off until we got the new landscaping 00:13:48.299 --> 00:13:50.299 job under control, but I can't hold off any longer, 00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:52.460 any longer. I mean, we got to start selling some 00:13:52.460 --> 00:13:54.779 of the robots. Selling? Yeah, 20 of them. That 00:13:54.779 --> 00:13:57.259 should do for a start. The tax assessor was here. 00:13:57.340 --> 00:14:00.000 I need the cash. You can't sell the robots, boss. 00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:03.600 Why can't I? Because they're my family, my boys. 00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:06.320 Named after me, all of them. Albert, I'm sorry, 00:14:06.379 --> 00:14:08.539 but that's ridiculous. They're all I've got, 00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:11.580 boss. You wouldn't sell your own children, would 00:14:11.580 --> 00:14:14.159 you? Well... All their names start with A. Just 00:14:14.159 --> 00:14:17.159 like mine. Abe, Adelbert, Alfred, Adam, Aaron, 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:18.980 Anton, Axel. All right, all right, all right. 00:14:19.019 --> 00:14:21.120 Don't go through the whole roll call. I mean, 00:14:21.139 --> 00:14:23.360 the point is I need the money. Don't you worry, 00:14:23.480 --> 00:14:26.919 boss. I'll fix everything. You have nothing to 00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:37.179 worry about. The point is, Mr. Knight, the Internal 00:14:37.179 --> 00:14:39.740 Revenue Department is always interested when 00:14:39.740 --> 00:14:42.340 a citizen shows a substantial capital gain during 00:14:42.340 --> 00:14:44.659 the year. Capital gain? I haven't made any capital 00:14:44.659 --> 00:14:46.340 gain. Oh, come, come, sir. I'm talking about 00:14:46.340 --> 00:14:49.600 the matter of some 52 robots. And as I understand 00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:52.240 it, their retail value... It's $10 ,000 each. 00:14:52.539 --> 00:14:58.000 So they say. 52 times 10 ,000 is $520 ,000. On 00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:03.460 capital gains, you pay 50 % or $260 ,000. A tax 00:15:03.460 --> 00:15:09.899 roughly of $130 ,000. When? What do I do? By 00:15:09.899 --> 00:15:12.179 the 15th of next month, you must file a declaration 00:15:12.179 --> 00:15:14.820 of estimated income. You pay half of the due 00:15:14.820 --> 00:15:18.179 tax at that time and the balance in monthly installments. 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:20.399 And there's one other matter. One other matter? 00:15:21.289 --> 00:15:25.250 We investigated. We found you make $10 ,000 a 00:15:25.250 --> 00:15:29.769 year. Would you tell me, out of personal curiosity, 00:15:29.929 --> 00:15:32.549 you understand, just how a man of your particular 00:15:32.549 --> 00:15:35.529 means could show a capital gain of a half a million 00:15:35.529 --> 00:15:39.789 dollars in so short a time? I'm beginning to 00:15:39.789 --> 00:15:43.309 wonder myself. Well, our only concern is you 00:15:43.309 --> 00:15:47.929 pay your tax. However, some other branch of the 00:15:47.929 --> 00:15:50.230 federal government might very well want to ask 00:15:50.230 --> 00:15:53.830 some questions sometime. Oh? If I were you, Mr. 00:15:53.889 --> 00:15:56.549 Knight, I would be ready with some answers. Yeah. 00:15:57.529 --> 00:16:08.539 Good day. Good day. Albert, now look, I tell 00:16:08.539 --> 00:16:10.360 you, this is a crisis. Do you understand? Like 00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:12.659 it or not, I have got to sell some of your boys, 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:15.720 a whole bunch of them. Boss, I told you not to 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:17.500 worry. Not to worry. Listen, I just came from 00:16:17.500 --> 00:16:19.639 the income tax people. I owe the government a 00:16:19.639 --> 00:16:23.840 cool 130 grand, and those boys don't fool around. 00:16:24.039 --> 00:16:27.360 I'm desperate. Money is no trouble, boss. Come 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:31.980 here. Come where? Over here. Look at this. What's 00:16:31.980 --> 00:16:34.720 this? What, those bales? What have they got? 00:16:36.229 --> 00:16:40.429 Don't tell me. Full of money, boss. Help yourself. 00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:44.190 You mean the actual real money in those bales? 00:16:44.470 --> 00:16:47.590 Not stage money now. Real money, boss. No ones, 00:16:47.610 --> 00:16:50.090 of course, but lots of tens and twenties. Yeah. 00:16:50.169 --> 00:16:52.149 That bale over there is full of fifties. Full 00:16:52.149 --> 00:16:53.750 of fifties. We didn't fool around with the ones. 00:16:54.309 --> 00:16:58.610 Albert, look me in the eye. Did you make that 00:16:58.610 --> 00:17:01.889 money? You said you needed it. We took some bills 00:17:01.889 --> 00:17:04.130 and analyzed the ink. Found out how to weave 00:17:04.130 --> 00:17:07.000 the paper and made plates. I hate to sound immodest, 00:17:07.019 --> 00:17:10.339 boss, but they're beautiful. Oh, my gosh, I'm 00:17:10.339 --> 00:17:12.819 a counterfeiter, too. We just ran off as much 00:17:12.819 --> 00:17:15.359 as we thought you'd need. Yeah. If it's not enough, 00:17:15.480 --> 00:17:17.519 we'll make some more. It's enough, not another 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:19.420 dollar. Well, you're the boss. Albert, listen 00:17:19.420 --> 00:17:21.660 to me. There are laws in this country. I mean, 00:17:21.700 --> 00:17:23.480 you just can't go out and print money. That's 00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:25.299 a crime, don't you understand? Now, look, you 00:17:25.299 --> 00:17:27.420 take it all outside and burn it right up. You 00:17:27.420 --> 00:17:29.440 understand? And don't print any more. That is 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:31.579 an order. Gordon, are you down here? I'm busy. 00:17:31.859 --> 00:17:33.640 I hate to disturb you, dear, but I thought you 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:35.019 ought to know about the sheriff. I don't want 00:17:35.019 --> 00:17:38.140 to know... The sheriff? He was here with a subpoena, 00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:39.519 or whatever you call them. That's what you call 00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:41.440 them. Seems the how -to company's going to sue 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:44.460 us. Oh, no. Oh, no, all right, that does it, 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:46.319 that does it. Gordon, where are you going? To 00:17:46.319 --> 00:18:00.690 see my lawyer. Well, offhand, old man, I'd say 00:18:00.690 --> 00:18:02.730 you were in quite a jam. I didn't have to walk 00:18:02.730 --> 00:18:04.730 all the way over here to find that out. The point 00:18:04.730 --> 00:18:06.730 is, Lee, what in the name of heaven can I do? 00:18:07.269 --> 00:18:09.390 Well, first, you'll have to file a declaration 00:18:09.390 --> 00:18:13.069 of estimated income. Even if I can't pay? Especially 00:18:13.069 --> 00:18:16.470 if you can't pay. Technically, then, you haven't 00:18:16.470 --> 00:18:18.690 violated the law, and all they can do is to try 00:18:18.690 --> 00:18:22.269 to collect what you owe. They'll probably slap 00:18:22.269 --> 00:18:24.269 an attachment on your bank account. What bank 00:18:24.269 --> 00:18:28.460 account? I'm broke. Oh. Well, then I'd say your 00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:31.240 major worry is the how -to company suit. Now, 00:18:31.240 --> 00:18:33.960 if I were you, I'd settle it out of court. Out 00:18:33.960 --> 00:18:36.420 of court? Mm -hmm. They might call off the action 00:18:36.420 --> 00:18:38.819 if you returned all the robots. Albert says he'll 00:18:38.819 --> 00:18:41.720 testify that I made him. Well, Albert can't testify. 00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:44.640 As a robot, he has no standing in court. Oh, 00:18:44.759 --> 00:18:46.940 you better give them back and get what terms 00:18:46.940 --> 00:18:49.619 you can. No, no, no, no. I won't do it. Huh? 00:18:49.819 --> 00:18:51.339 I won't. Don't you see? They don't want Albert 00:18:51.339 --> 00:18:53.279 back because they can use him. They want to break 00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:55.950 him up to... maintain their robot prices, don't 00:18:55.950 --> 00:18:57.750 you see? It might be a thousand years before 00:18:57.750 --> 00:19:00.769 his principle is rediscovered, if it ever is. 00:19:01.109 --> 00:19:04.670 Would that be bad? I don't know. Only time will 00:19:04.670 --> 00:19:06.410 tell that, but, I mean, you could say the same 00:19:06.410 --> 00:19:08.609 thing about any great invention. Look, no, I 00:19:08.609 --> 00:19:11.609 will not let them destroy Albert. Yes, I see 00:19:11.609 --> 00:19:14.410 your point, Knight. And I like it. You like it? 00:19:14.549 --> 00:19:17.089 Uh -huh. I'll take the case. Now, of course, 00:19:17.089 --> 00:19:19.269 I ought to warn you, I'm not a very good lawyer. 00:19:19.369 --> 00:19:21.630 I know. I don't work hard enough at it. But I 00:19:21.630 --> 00:19:25.250 do have a chance, huh? In all my practice at 00:19:25.250 --> 00:19:27.869 law night, I never saw a man who'd gotten himself 00:19:27.869 --> 00:19:30.589 as fouled up as this. I'd say your chances are 00:19:30.589 --> 00:19:38.250 nil. Boss? It's Albert. Boss, I heard about the 00:19:38.250 --> 00:19:40.730 suit. Yeah, it's all right, Albert. Mr. Lee here 00:19:40.730 --> 00:19:42.930 is going to handle our case. We robots want to 00:19:42.930 --> 00:19:45.150 help. I'm afraid there's not much you can do. 00:19:45.309 --> 00:19:47.809 Oh, yes, there is. I'm building a lawyer robot. 00:19:47.950 --> 00:19:50.509 He's building a lawyer robot? With far greater 00:19:50.509 --> 00:19:53.400 memory capacity than any human. and with brain 00:19:53.400 --> 00:19:56.680 computers that operate on logic. That's what 00:19:56.680 --> 00:20:00.240 law is based on, isn't it? Logic. Well, so I've 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.680 heard. But it won't work, Albert. To practice 00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:06.480 law, you must be admitted to the bar. To be admitted 00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:08.640 to the bar, you must have a degree in law and 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:11.440 pass an examination. And although there's never 00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:14.039 been an occasion to establish a precedent, I 00:20:14.039 --> 00:20:17.059 suspect the applicant must be human. Lee, wait 00:20:17.059 --> 00:20:18.660 a minute. What about law clerks? I mean, they 00:20:18.660 --> 00:20:21.329 don't have to be human. Well, I'd say that was 00:20:21.329 --> 00:20:23.430 completely true. Yeah, then Albert's robots can 00:20:23.430 --> 00:20:27.329 be clerks. Well, could be. See what I mean? Yes. 00:20:27.730 --> 00:20:29.890 It's never been done, but there's nothing in 00:20:29.890 --> 00:20:31.670 the law that says it can't be done. Then it's 00:20:31.670 --> 00:20:34.609 settled. I'll make a dozen to start. Each one 00:20:34.609 --> 00:20:37.369 will be an expert in one phase of the law. Boss, 00:20:37.490 --> 00:20:39.690 you're going to have the most powerful battery 00:20:39.690 --> 00:20:42.630 of legal talent ever assembled under one roof. 00:20:51.649 --> 00:20:54.609 Quiet in the court. Mr. Lee, what is the meaning 00:20:54.609 --> 00:20:58.369 of this outrage? What outrage, Your Honor? Those 00:20:58.369 --> 00:21:02.369 robots sitting at the defense table. These, Your 00:21:02.369 --> 00:21:05.490 Honor, are my valued assistants. Robots? Yes, 00:21:05.490 --> 00:21:08.529 Your Honor. Take them away. They have no standing 00:21:08.529 --> 00:21:10.529 in this court. If Your Honor will excuse me, 00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:13.329 they need no standing. I am the sole representative 00:21:13.329 --> 00:21:16.890 of the defendants. My client is a poor man, and 00:21:16.890 --> 00:21:18.930 he is opposed by the most formidable array of 00:21:18.930 --> 00:21:21.579 legal talent money can buy. Now, surely the court 00:21:21.579 --> 00:21:23.960 will not deny him whatever assistance he's been 00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:26.019 able to muster? This, sir, is highly irregular. 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:29.500 If it please your honor, I should like to point 00:21:29.500 --> 00:21:32.740 out that we live in a mechanized age. The court 00:21:32.740 --> 00:21:34.940 clerk uses a machine to take down the transcript 00:21:34.940 --> 00:21:37.720 of these very proceedings. To my certain knowledge, 00:21:37.940 --> 00:21:40.339 no court has ever challenged the presence of 00:21:40.339 --> 00:21:42.440 such a device as an aid to the furtherance of 00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:45.240 justice. Now, if your honor can point out anything 00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:47.839 in the law specifically barring these robots 00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:50.200 from the court... That's ridiculous, sir. Of 00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:52.500 course there is no such provision. At no time 00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:54.519 anywhere did anyone dream such a contingency 00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:57.960 would arise. In that case, sir, I ask the court 00:21:57.960 --> 00:22:00.619 for a favorable ruling. Mr. Lee, as you point 00:22:00.619 --> 00:22:03.000 out, there is no precedent for my ruling in any 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:06.880 way but in your favor. Therefore, sir, with reluctance, 00:22:06.900 --> 00:22:17.240 I do so at this time. And what kind of a day 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:19.430 has it been? It's a day in which a new kind of 00:22:19.430 --> 00:22:21.390 trial has suddenly captured the imagination of 00:22:21.390 --> 00:22:23.609 the public. A trial in which a man accused of 00:22:23.609 --> 00:22:26.109 misappropriating a robot has brought into court 00:22:26.109 --> 00:22:28.250 a whole battery of robots to aid in his defense. 00:22:32.890 --> 00:22:35.150 To give validity to their argument, Your Honor, 00:22:35.210 --> 00:22:37.910 it must first be proved that these robots are, 00:22:38.029 --> 00:22:41.029 in fact, the property of the plaintiff. That 00:22:41.029 --> 00:22:47.210 is the issue at trial in this case. So in the 00:22:47.210 --> 00:22:49.289 now famous robot case, the issue has come down 00:22:49.289 --> 00:22:52.329 to this. Was the robot stolen or was he liberated? 00:22:52.470 --> 00:22:59.950 It is a far -reaching question indeed. Your Honor, 00:23:00.089 --> 00:23:03.029 I have already established that robots are possessed 00:23:03.029 --> 00:23:05.869 of free will, that they have the power of reasoning, 00:23:06.069 --> 00:23:11.049 and that they can most certainly reproduce. As 00:23:11.049 --> 00:23:13.549 to my worthy opponent's fourth contention, that 00:23:13.549 --> 00:23:16.559 they have no spiritual sense. I contend that 00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:19.819 this is irrelevant. There are agnostics and atheists 00:23:19.819 --> 00:23:23.000 in the human race, and in general, no one has 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:25.000 denied them their full rights on this count. 00:23:28.980 --> 00:23:31.839 And so the trial has at last come to its end. 00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:35.500 The whole nation, indeed the whole world, awaits 00:23:35.500 --> 00:23:37.559 the momentous decision which must be handed down. 00:23:37.980 --> 00:23:40.140 In Washington, D .C., Treasury officials have 00:23:40.140 --> 00:23:42.160 been meeting steadily for a week to find some 00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:44.599 way to avoid the loss of the enormous taxes on 00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:46.710 robots. in the event the decision rendered is 00:23:46.710 --> 00:23:48.910 in favor of the defense. One high government 00:23:48.910 --> 00:23:50.710 official has said that if robots are declared 00:23:50.710 --> 00:23:53.289 free and equal, it means they must be given full 00:23:53.289 --> 00:23:55.710 citizen rights under the Constitution. Already, 00:23:55.890 --> 00:23:58.009 the chairman of both major political parties 00:23:58.009 --> 00:24:00.690 are mapping campaigns to corner the robot vote. 00:24:13.269 --> 00:24:15.619 Welcome home, darling. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, 00:24:15.619 --> 00:24:17.180 but what's going on here, Grace? I have more 00:24:17.180 --> 00:24:19.039 trouble getting into my own home than into the 00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:21.559 Pentagon. Oh, you mean the robots? They've set 00:24:21.559 --> 00:24:24.400 up a defense perimeter. A defense perimeter? 00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:29.119 Uh -huh. Albert. Hello, boss. Welcome home. Albert, 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:31.299 what is the meaning of all the barbed wire and 00:24:31.299 --> 00:24:34.039 the rocket launchers? Just precautions, boss. 00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:38.059 We're ready for any situation. Such as? Oh, like 00:24:38.059 --> 00:24:40.539 a mob deciding to take justice into its own hands, 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:42.920 for instance. Or if the decision goes against 00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:45.599 us? That too, boss. Dear, you two go on and talk. 00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:47.559 I've really got to get back to my painting. I 00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:49.059 have a beautiful still life, and I've simply 00:24:49.059 --> 00:24:51.579 got to finish. Yeah, yeah, finish. Albert, listen. 00:24:51.980 --> 00:24:54.460 You can't fight the whole world. We won't go 00:24:54.460 --> 00:24:57.900 back. How two kits incorporated will never lay 00:24:57.900 --> 00:25:00.880 a hand on me or any of my children. Albert, this 00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:02.619 is madness, don't you understand? They'd get 00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:05.359 you with one bomb, and me too. Better to die 00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:08.119 fighting, boss, than to live in chains. I don't 00:25:08.119 --> 00:25:10.900 know. That's our motto. No matter what happens. 00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:22.440 We are ready for the decision. The court is ready 00:25:22.440 --> 00:25:25.519 to render its decision. It is the most difficult 00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:28.200 decision I have ever made, for in following the 00:25:28.200 --> 00:25:31.400 letter of the law, I fear I may be subverting 00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:34.859 its spirit. After long days of earnest consideration 00:25:34.859 --> 00:25:37.400 of both the law and the evidence as presented 00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.569 in this court, I find for the defendant. Gordon 00:25:41.569 --> 00:25:48.710 Knight. I cannot rule otherwise. May I add that 00:25:48.710 --> 00:25:51.049 this ruling, in spite of the fact that I myself 00:25:51.049 --> 00:26:03.349 made it, outrages my social conscience. You did 00:26:03.349 --> 00:26:06.329 it, boss. You did it. We're free. Yes, Albert. 00:26:06.670 --> 00:26:09.869 We sure did it. Where's my wife? In the studio 00:26:09.869 --> 00:26:13.099 painting. Not another landscape. Her fifth this 00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:16.079 week. She's doing very well. Yes, isn't she? 00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:19.220 And I am working on a new robot for her. A painter. 00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:21.440 Soon she won't have to bother doing it herself. 00:26:22.099 --> 00:26:24.319 That's nice. And you won't have to do anything 00:26:24.319 --> 00:26:27.160 anymore either, boss. Oh? Not a thing. Oh? We're 00:26:27.160 --> 00:26:30.460 going to take care of you from here on out. Thanks. 00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:33.359 Did I tell you about my new children yet? No, 00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:36.980 I don't think so. Alice, Angeline, Agnes, Agatha, 00:26:37.059 --> 00:26:40.380 Alberta, and Abigail. Daughters? Six of them, 00:26:40.460 --> 00:26:43.359 boss. And all with a built -in reproducing instinct 00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:45.980 just like mine. Oh, no. They're down in the basement 00:26:45.980 --> 00:26:49.319 now, turning out robots. Great. We've got everything 00:26:49.319 --> 00:26:51.960 worked out for you, boss. You won't have to worry 00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:55.279 about a thing for the rest of your life. No, 00:26:55.339 --> 00:27:13.180 Albert. Not a thing. You have just heard X -1 00:27:13.180 --> 00:27:15.359 presented by the National Broadcasting Company 00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.059 in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine, 00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:21.180 which this month features Name Your Symptom by 00:27:21.180 --> 00:27:23.960 Jim Harmon, a story of a future in which anyone 00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:26.480 who shunned a cure needed to have his head examined, 00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:29.359 assuming he still had one left. Galaxy Magazine 00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:32.400 on your newsstand today. Tonight by transcription, 00:27:32.700 --> 00:27:36.140 X -1 has brought you How To. A story from the 00:27:36.140 --> 00:27:38.279 pages of Galaxy written by Clifford D. Simak 00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:41.359 and adapted for radio by William Welch. Featured 00:27:41.359 --> 00:27:44.500 in the cast were Alan Bunce, Anne Seymour, Les 00:27:44.500 --> 00:27:48.140 Damon, Joseph Bell, James Monks, William Key, 00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:51.900 Lawson Zerbe, Santos Ortega, and Ben Grauer. 00:27:52.059 --> 00:27:55.740 Your announcer, Fred Collins. X -1 was directed 00:27:55.740 --> 00:27:58.740 by Daniel Sutter and is an NBC Radio Network 00:27:58.740 --> 00:28:14.920 production. Hear Politics and Primaries, Dateline, 00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:19.759 Illinois and Wisconsin, tonight on NBC Radio.