Adventures in time and space, told in future
tense. Dimension X. Have you ever heard of the
Mark III? the amazing electronic brain they're
using now up at Harvard University. In mere minutes,
it can solve scientific problems that our most
brilliant mathematicians would take years to
work out. Its intelligence is almost superhuman,
and yet the scientists are already working on
a new and improved model, the Mark IV. In fact,
they tell us there's no earthly reason why these
thinking robots can't be perfected. until they
become the servants of the future, capable of
doing all the work of mankind. Yes, that's what
the advertising billboard said in the year 2006.
Housework made easy by the perfect domestic servant.
Modern Mechanicals Agency, Harry Underhill, President.
The billboard showed a smiling family, sitting
with folded hands, watching their mechanical
robot pour their morning coffee. But in the home
of Harry Underhill himself, things weren't quite
as pleasant at breakfast this day. I just can't
understand it, Aurora. Look at this. Modern mechanicals
down three points. Yesterday, Smithson cancelled
his order. If I could only figure out why. Why
don't you ask him? Frank, there's your oatmeal.
Oh, Mom. I just don't understand it. Business
was good, and then, boom. Some louse must be
undercutting my prices, that's all. How many
robots were canceled? Not robots. Mechanicals,
Aurora. How many times must I... They are robots,
aren't they? Please, Aurora, there's an important
difference in sales psychology. Maybe people
are getting wise to your robots and mechanicals.
What do you mean, Aurora? The perfect domestic
servant. They're ugly, stupid, clumsy, walking
junk piles. Aurora. The one you brought home
to me can't even wash the clothes properly. It's
more trouble than it's worth. Aurora. You know
our mechanicals are the best on the market. Those
animated tin cans you sell? They're certainly
not making us any fortune. Well, with this new
model, things are bound to pick up a little.
If that Jarvis order just comes through... Oh,
that robot of yours. There's something knocking
again. Hey, wait, wait. Put that plate back.
I haven't finished my breakfast yet. Wait! Harry,
you know you've got to say stop. Stop! You always
get excited. You'd think you never saw a robot
before. Not robot. Mechanical. All right, all
right. Look, it's not its fault. We just took
too long to eat. Timing relay is set for 15 minutes.
Never mind. I want my coffee back. Set. Set.
There. Isn't that simple? It bends at the waist,
stretches out its arm, and picks up the coffee
pot just as if it were... Hey, watch out! be
late to announce dinner after it sets the table.
Hey, there goes my coffee again. Stop. Stop.
Set. Harry, you can't give it two orders at once.
What's that smell? There must be a short. Now
see what you've done. Got it all upset. I did.
All I said was... Glad you called. I was just
going to ring you. Well, I've got that whole
shipment of mechanicals for you. One gross plane,
a dozen of the chromium fitted. Hold on, Underhill.
I'm cancelling the order. You're cance... But
the invoice is made out and I... Well, tear it
up. I'm cancelling. But why? cancellation today.
The world's going to pot. Yes, Mr. Underhill?
No, never mind, Lucy. I'm going home. What a
day. I wonder if Aurora would smell it on me
if I ducked into Garrigan's. She's got a nose
like a beagle. Hey, that building wasn't here
last week. Humanoid Institute. The perfect mechanical.
Oh, no. We didn't have enough competition. Hey,
these must be the cutthroats that are underselling
me. At your service, Mr. Underhill. Huh? Oh,
you startled me. Didn't hear you. Hey, you're
a mechanical, aren't you? Not bad, not bad. Very
lifelike. Won't you come in, please, and examine
our service? That's a remarkable voice. They've
licked the variable inflection problem. You know,
I'm in the same line myself. Mechanicals, I mean.
We're aware of that, sir. Oh? Oh. Hey, some building
you've got here. You sure got it up in a hurry.
The Humanoid Institute at your service, Mr. Underhill.
Yes? Oh, uh, how'd you know my name? For us,
that was not difficult. Oh, is that so? Oh, wait
a minute. This is ridiculous, talking to a mechanical.
Must be somebody inside operating you by remote
control. No, Mr. Underhill. Of course, there
is humanoid central which powers and controls
all of us, but that is located on wing four.
Wing four? A planet in a remote part of the galaxy.
Oh, yeah. Well, may I see your salesman, please?
We employ no human salesman, sir. We ourselves
can accept your order for immediate humanoid
service. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. You
can't expect me to buy one. I'm in the business
myself. There will be no more need for your electronic
mechanicals, sir. Once you have accepted our
service, you will no longer have to work. Everything
will be done for you. Everything? That's quite
an offer. At that rate, you'll have trouble supplying
the demand. I think not, sir. As you can see
from our storage room. Humanoids are now arriving
at the rate of 5 ,000 per hour from wing four.
5 ,000 per hour? We are anxious to introduce
our complete service on this planet, sir, to
bring happiness to everyone. May we come out
to your home for a free trial demonstration?
No, I... Oh, I admit you're remarkable, the voice,
the movement, graceful even. But I'm still in
business, and what's more, I wouldn't have you
around the house. I'm afraid you will have no
choice. Sooner or later, it will be necessary.
Oh, is that so? Over my dead body. Let me out
of here. At your service, Mr. Underhill. That's
going to be tough competition, all right. I'm
going to stop in at Garrigan's, the devil with
Aurora's nose. 78 to 3. Guess what, Pop? You
made all the touchdowns? Nope. Mom took in a
boarder. She took... She what? Aurora! She said
if your business was going to fall on his face,
she had to do something to make some money. Oh,
she did, huh? Aurora! Oh, for goodness sake,
Carrie, what's all the racket for? You tell me.
What's this about a boarder? Shh, Carrie. He's
going to live in that little apartment over the
garage. Oh, no, he isn't. You know I don't want
any strangers around here. Harry, please, shh.
Look, he won't bother you. He's a nice old man.
He just wanted a room and a place to work. He's
an inventor, I think. Oh, he is, is he? Did he
pay in advance? Well, he can't. You see, his
royalties haven't started to come in. Aurora.
How can you be taken in by every beat -up old
panhandler that gives you a sob story? Mr. Sledge
isn't like that at all. Oh, that reminds me,
dear. Can you give me a ten? A ten? What for?
Well, Mr. Sledge is ill. He needs some medicine
for his heart, and I said I'd lend him the money.
You... Oh, Aurora, this is the limit. He goes
out right now. Now, don't be unkind, Harry. Besides,
we need the rent money. Things aren't that bad
yet. He goes. Please, shh. What are you shushing
me for? Mr. Sledge, he's in the next room. I've
invited him for dinner. Frank, dear, wipe your
mouth. Oh, Mom. More gravy, Mr. Sledge? No, thank
you, Mrs. Underhill. Mr. Sledge, my wife tells
me you're a traveling man. Uh... Expect to move
on soon? Harry. I had hoped to do a little work,
Mr. Undale. You see, I've applied for basic patents
here on Earth for a very important development.
Oh, a new invention, huh? Yes. My field is rhodomagnetics.
Rhodo... what? Rhodomagnetics. It's a new force
field theorem, key to the second triad of the
periodic table. Rhodium, ruthenium, and palladium.
I'm afraid I'm a little rusty on my science.
It's well known in other parts of the galaxy,
but I've been able to apply for basic patterns
here. Worth millions, huh? Perhaps you find it
strange that the holder of such valuable property
should be in need. Well, yes. I'm a refugee,
Mr. Underhill. I arrived on this planet only
a few days ago. Mm -hmm. But you will be shoving
on again. Oh, for goodness sakes, Harry. That's
all right, Mrs. Underhill. I understand. After
all, I am an intruder in your home. If it inconveniences
you at all, I'll find some other place to sleep
and set up my workshop. Harry, your robot is
spilling the coffee again. I'll have to have
it tightened up. Why doesn't your company bring
out a better mechanical? One's smart enough not
to spill things. Wouldn't that be splendid? The
perfect mechanical already exists, Mrs. Underhill.
They're not so splendid, really. They are why
I am a refugee today. Oh? Where do you say you
came from? Wing 4. Wing 4? Oh, then you must
mean those humanoids. Humanoids. Mr. Sledge.
Humanoids. What do you know about them? They
just opened an agency here in Two Rivers. No.
No. Harris. What is it? What's wrong, Mr. Sledge?
Give him some water. It must be his heart. Call
Dr. Winders, Aurora. No, no. I'll be all right.
Here, you'd better sit down. I'm sorry. It was
just shock. I came here to get away from them.
The humanoids? Yes. I wanted to finish my work
before they came. But now, I won't trouble you
any further. But, Mr. Sledge, Harry, he's sick.
Well, uh, Mr. Sledge, I don't think you'll have
to go right away. He can stay, Harry. Sure, after
all, the way those humanoids are coming along,
I'm liable to become a refugee myself any minute.
Guess we might as well stick together, eh, Sledge?
Oh, that's better. Oh, you look ill, Professor.
Maybe you ought to lie down on the sofa and rest.
No, no, thank you. I must get back to my workshop
now. I haven't got time to rest. There's so little
time left for all of us. Good morning, Mr. Underhill.
Good morning. Mr. Underhill, you look awful.
I feel awful. What's in the mail? Six more cancellations.
The Eat Quick restaurant chain sent back your
shipment. They've installed humanoids. Mr. McIntyre
from the bank called. He's refusing your loan.
He said since Humanoid Institute opened, you're
a bad credit risk. Good. I guess that's all.
Oh, there's somebody... Something to see you.
At your service, Mr. Underhill. You? Oh, no,
you're not the same one, are you? Serial number's
different. It doesn't matter, sir. We're all
really one. Now, in exchange for our complete
service, you will assign all your property to
Humanoid Institute. I will what? With our service,
you will have no need for property. Everything
will be provided. What kind of blackmail is this?
No blackmail, sir. You will find humanoids incapable
of committing any crime. We exist only to increase
the happiness of mankind. Thanks, but I can take
care of my own business. You have no choice,
really. With humanoid service, it is no longer
necessary for men to take care of themselves.
Our function is to serve and obey and guard men
from harm. Get out. Very well, sir. When you
wish to sign, let us know. Get out. Get out!
Aurora, I'm home. At your service, Mr. Underhill.
What? What's the idea of this? You get out of
here. Aurora! Mrs. Underhill has accepted our
free trial demonstration. We cannot leave unless
she requests it. We'll see about that. Aurora,
where the devil are you? Oh, hello, Harry. What's
this mechanical doing here? What's happened to
you? Isn't it wonderful? I had my hair done,
the manicure. The humanoid did it and cleaned
the house all over, washed all the clothes and
gave Frank his music lesson. Now, wait a minute,
Aurora. I won't have... I have this monster in
my house. Oh, it's just a free trial, Harry.
Just wait till you taste the dinner it cooked.
Everything you like best. Roast duck. I don't
care if he cooked a... Duck? And the most complicated
pastries. I could never cook like that. Uh, well,
might as well eat. Well, I'll need a drink first,
though. All right, Doc. I'm sorry, sir. What?
We exist under the prime directive to guard men
from harm. Alcoholic beverages in excess are
bad for human consumption. We have taken the
liberty of removing them from the house. Now
look here. Mr. Underhill, dinner is served. Yes,
Lucy? Mr. Underhill. I've been expecting them
for a week. All right, Lucy. At your service,
Mr. Underhill. We have the legal papers here,
the bankruptcy forms, the eviction notice. We
are ready now to foreclose your agency. Okay,
take it over. A lot of good it'll do you. I haven't
made a sale in two weeks. And now, if you will
make the assignment of all your personal property,
we can complete our service to you. What if I
won't sign? That would be unfortunate. But with
stubborn cases, we must sometimes resort to other
methods. Eventually, Mr. Underhill, you will
sign. Of all the darn, darn, darn, stinking,
darn... Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, Frank, what's
the matter? What's the trouble, son? That old
humanoid. Oh, you're not happy? You should be.
It's guaranteed. They took away my football.
They said it was too dangerous to play with it.
And my roller skates and my scout knife and everything.
Did they leave you anything? Just some stinking
old plastic blocks. Soft blocks. They said I
couldn't get hurt with them. Dad, I want my football
back. Can't you do anything? I don't know, son.
I don't know. Mr. Underhill. Mind if I come in,
Sledge? No, not at all. Do you mind if I keep
working? Oh, go right ahead. It's good to see
somebody working with his hands. Is something
wrong? My son. The humanoids took his football
away. They're everywhere. They've smashed my
business, taken over my house. Sledge, isn't
there some way to get rid of them? That is exactly
what I am trying to do. You? What makes you think
you can do anything? Because, you see, Mr. Underhill,
I'm the unfortunate fool who started them. You...
I don't understand. I started the humanoids.
And I've been running from them ever since. You
started them? Yes, I invented them. I built the
rhonomagnetic relays that operate Humanoid Central.
But why? I... I wanted to bring happiness to
humanity. Happiness. That's great. My wife's
been crying for two days. And do you know why?
Because she's bored stiff. There's nothing left
for her to do. They won't even let her lift a
little finger. I don't blame you for feeling
bitter, Mr. Underhill. It's all my fault. I wanted
them to serve and obey. Guard men from harm.
No, they do that all right. They've even emptied
our medicine chest. It wouldn't do for one of
us happy humans to end it all with a sleeping
pill. Mr. Underhill, I've made the most terrible
mistake a man can make. But I meant well, believe
me. Then why did you do it? I thought I could
rid the universe of poverty and hunger by inventing
the perfect mechanical. They're perfect, all
right. Too perfect. Yes. That's the trouble.
They obey the prime directive too literally.
They kill men's souls with their kindness. Isn't
there some way they can be controlled? No. I
didn't trust mankind, so I made sure that Humanoid
Central could not be tampered with. Not even
by myself. Then what hope is there? Only one.
They're not creative. They can't meet new ideas.
You mean you've got one, Sledge? Yes. They can
defeat anything they know about. But I've got
something new. A weapon to attack the brain of
Humanoid Central. Is that what you've been working
on? Yes. Now that they're here, there's little
time left. Either we destroy them, or they will
destroy us. Okay. What has to be done? This tuning
circuit. You see, I need two bus bars here. Can
you read these diagrams? I think so. Got my degree
in electronics. Good. If you could help on the
bench work, it would save time. I've got plenty
of time now. All right. But watch yourself. Don't
let them see you come out here. If you can take
the risk, so can I. No. As the inventor, I built
a special immunity for myself into Humanoid Central.
But you don't have that immunity. They're rather
unpleasant methods of dealing with their enemies.
They can change you, you know. Change me? How?
Brain surgery. What do you mean? Never mind.
Just be careful. Mr. Underhill. What do you want?
You're going to meet with Mr. Sledge? Yes, as
a matter of fact. I'm going to collect the rent.
Mr. Underhill, you have spent the past two afternoons
in his room. In view of your association with
Mr. Sledge, we feel that our free trial must
be terminated. We suggest that you accept our
total service and make the assignment of your
property immediately. And if I don't? Then, sir,
we may be forced to resort to other methods.
Well, uh... Give me one more day to think it
over. Very well, sir. Tomorrow. That will be
your last chance. Who is it? Underhill. Did they
see you? No, not today. Said we've got to hurry.
It's difficult work, Mr. Underhill, but I'm almost
finished. They gave me till today. They said
they'd use other methods. What's that? The humanoids
building some kind of a warehouse across the
road. Sledge, are you sure this thing will work?
It's a new principle, Underhill. A tuned rotor
magnetic light beam. It should act to fission
the heavy atoms of the basic ores and wing form.
It will destroy Humanoid Central. But are you
sure? I know the humanoids. I made them. They
can't invent anything. They can't create defenses
against something new. It's done. It's finished,
aren't I? You're going to use it now? Immediately.
I'll have to feed the astronomical data into
the calculating circuits. There must be zero
error in focusing. What will happen? Wing 4 will
disappear in a chain reaction. Humanoid central
will be destroyed. It'll stop. Ready now. Stand
clear, please. Step on the throbber, Matt, Mr.
Underhill. You must be shielded when I cut in
the full power load. Hurry, Sledge. I've waited
30 years for this moment, Underhill. When Wing
4 is destroyed, the humanoids all over the galaxy
will stop. They'll stop dead. You won't hear
those drills. Sledge! All right. Do you hear
anything? Sledge, listen. The drills have stopped.
They've stopped. You can see them. The humanoids
have stopped. They couldn't guard against something.
They couldn't understand. It worked, Underhill.
We're free now. Goodbye, Wing -4. Humanoid Central
is destroyed. At your service, Mr. Underhill.
No, Sledge. Get out of here. Get out. You were
attempting to break the prime directive. It is
therefore necessary to interfere. But you stopped.
I saw you, all of you. In order to guard against
Mr. Sledge's beam, it was necessary to stop all
units momentarily to concentrate power. That
necessity has passed. But it was new. You can't
invent anything new. No, sir, but we were able
to adapt the screening principle you yourself
invented. For the past 30 years, Humanoid Central
has been screened against any energy attack.
All these years wasted. All these years? Your
immunity has ended, Mr. Sledge. It will now be
necessary for you to accept our full services.
No. No, I'll stop you. I'll stop all of you.
I'll stop you with my bare hands. I'll kill you
all. No, there's no use. Do not worry, Mr. Underhill.
At worst, he can destroy one unit. There are
millions more. Sledge, you'll hurt yourself.
Sledge. I'll kill him. He's sick. It's his heart.
You, get a doctor. Until he surrenders, we can
neither aid nor hinder, Mr. Sledge. Do you surrender
your immunity, Mr. Sledge? Have to. Last chance.
Gone. Yes, yes. Help me. Help me. At your service,
Mr. Sledge. You may see Mr. Sledge now, Mr. Underhill.
Alone? If you wish. In here. Thanks. Sledge.
Well, well, Underhill. Good to see you. Your
head. It's bandaged. Is it really? I've done
something to you. Are you all right? Oh, fine,
fine. Never felt better. You never felt better?
No. In fact, I feel ten years younger today.
You sound so... so happy. Why not? These humanoids
have made a new man of me, Underhill. They're
wonderful, aren't they? Wonderful? How could
you say that, Sledge? Only yesterday you hated
them. You were trying to destroy them. Destroy
them? Why? You don't remember? You've forgotten
what they're doing to us all? They're killing
us with kindness. taking away all our incentive
and pride of accomplishment, turning us all into
pampered, useless pets, parasites, with nothing
left to do but just sit with folded hands at
the mercy of these mechanical monsters. At your
service, Mr. Underhill. You. You seem troubled,
Mr. Underhill. Are you unhappy? Unhappy? You
bet I'm unhappy. What have you done to Professor
Sledge to turn him into this babbling idiot?
We were forced to operate. For years, Mr. Sledge
has been suffering from a benign tumor of the
brain. It caused him to have hallucinations,
to believe that he was actually the creator of
the humanoids. Did I? Yes. It was these delusions
which were making you unhappy. Oh. Well, whoever
did invent the humanoids, I certainly owe him
a debt of gratitude now. Sledge. You see, Mr.
Underhill, we have ways to correct these abnormal
conditions. Even Mr. Sledge is happy now. You...
You operated on his brain? Yes, Mr. Underhill.
And now we are at your service. At my service?
You mean you're going to operate on... No. The
time has come for you to accept and enjoy our
complete service. You will now sign our agreement.
Look here, I... If you are unhappy... It only
takes a simple operation. No, no. Who said I
was unhappy? I'm very happy. I'll sign your paper.
You don't have to operate on me. I'm happy. I'm
very, very happy. Very happy. The Happy Mr. Underhill's
futile hands clenched and relaxed again and then
folded quietly. There was nothing else left for
them to do. You have just heard the Jack Williamson
story. With folded hands, an adventure in time,
space, and the unknown world of the future. The
world of Dimension XX. Now, about next week.
Do you believe that in the mind of man, there
lies a force potentially more powerful than the
atomic bomb? and perhaps someday in the not -too
-distant future, a man sitting quietly in his
room, just thinking, may generate enough mental
energy to control the destiny of the world. How?
We'll tell you next week. Tonight's story on
Dimension X was adapted for radio by John Dunkle.
Featured in the cast were Philip Bourneff as
Harry Underhill, Alexander Scorby as the humanoid,
Peter Capel as Professor Sledge, and Bryna Rayburn
as Aurora. Your host was Norman Rose. Tomorrow,
hear Sam Spade. Now, it's Truth or Consequences
on NBC.