WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.439 Welcome to Everyone Deserves Sunshine. I'm Diana. 00:00:02.700 --> 00:00:04.960 And I'm Anusha. We're the Girls in the Crease. 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:11.820 And Diana, this is episode 19. 19. 19. I can't 00:00:11.820 --> 00:00:14.500 believe we've been doing this for, well, 19 weeks. 00:00:15.980 --> 00:00:21.559 I know we're a day late, but it is Memorial Day 00:00:21.559 --> 00:00:24.660 weekend here in the United States. And so we 00:00:24.660 --> 00:00:28.339 figured. we'll push a day so this is our second 00:00:28.339 --> 00:00:31.600 to last episode which means we're about to go 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:34.320 on a very long summer break together i do want 00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:37.520 to tell our listeners that if you have ideas 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:41.179 for our episodes please send them our way if 00:00:41.179 --> 00:00:44.179 you perhaps want to appear on our podcast and 00:00:44.179 --> 00:00:46.600 you have something interesting to contribute 00:00:46.600 --> 00:00:49.299 please reach out to us because we would love 00:00:49.299 --> 00:00:52.520 to have you as a guest on our show. Yeah, sometimes 00:00:52.520 --> 00:00:55.240 we get tired of listening to ourselves. It doesn't 00:00:55.240 --> 00:00:57.979 happen often. No, yeah, I love listening to us, 00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:00.100 but you know. But on occasion. I think other 00:01:00.100 --> 00:01:03.439 people want to hear more voices. Perspectives. 00:01:03.439 --> 00:01:06.680 Different perspectives. So yeah, reach out to 00:01:06.680 --> 00:01:10.599 us. We are available and open and excited to 00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:14.480 hear from you. Yeah, open to DMs. Speaking of 00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:18.099 sliding into your DMs and being open. Should 00:01:18.099 --> 00:01:22.159 we talk about intimacy? and narrative and how 00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:25.439 the sex scenes drive the narrative forward. We 00:01:25.439 --> 00:01:28.280 should talk about exactly that. Let's do it. 00:01:28.379 --> 00:01:30.739 OK, let's do it. Can you level set for me? We're 00:01:30.739 --> 00:01:33.620 talking about sex. Let's talk about sex, baby. 00:01:33.719 --> 00:01:36.299 But it's very intellectual discussion. Is that 00:01:36.299 --> 00:01:38.200 what I'm hearing? Oh, we're supposed to be doing 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:40.920 the sex scenes and the intimacy scenes, right? 00:01:41.019 --> 00:01:43.359 They're structured like an emotional plot beat. 00:01:43.709 --> 00:01:47.549 Every major scene changes something in Ilya's 00:01:47.549 --> 00:01:50.569 and Shane's relationship dynamic. It either reveals 00:01:50.569 --> 00:01:52.950 information that the characters cannot say out 00:01:52.950 --> 00:01:55.209 loud because they are, as we have said many times, 00:01:55.310 --> 00:01:59.109 poor communicators. It raises the stakes sometimes, 00:01:59.390 --> 00:02:01.430 especially if you're reading the book. It will 00:02:01.430 --> 00:02:03.590 say something like, he knew there was no going 00:02:03.590 --> 00:02:07.849 back from this moment. So it really does work 00:02:07.849 --> 00:02:12.039 as narrative structure throughout the... show 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.620 and the book. I often heard the criticism is 00:02:14.620 --> 00:02:17.219 that they always have sex. Why is it that every 00:02:17.219 --> 00:02:19.039 time they get together, they're just having sex? 00:02:19.240 --> 00:02:22.879 A, they only see each other once every either 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:25.979 six months or a couple years. And also, if you're 00:02:25.979 --> 00:02:28.460 in the beginning of an intimate relationship 00:02:28.460 --> 00:02:32.680 of some sort, you kind of are doing just that 00:02:32.680 --> 00:02:35.159 in the beginning. You're just like, I want you. 00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:39.080 in my pants. So I think that in itself is very 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:42.180 realistic. They're craving something that no 00:02:42.180 --> 00:02:45.939 one else seems to be able to give them. So yes, 00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:48.120 I thought that's interesting. To be fair, I have 00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:53.189 never. complained of the sex scenes? No, neither 00:02:53.189 --> 00:02:57.789 have I. As you know, I was on board for minute 00:02:57.789 --> 00:03:01.110 one. Yes, you were very much. I didn't need any 00:03:01.110 --> 00:03:03.310 sort of lead time. You also have to remember 00:03:03.310 --> 00:03:06.409 that they're so young, right? They're these young 00:03:06.409 --> 00:03:11.830 athletes at their prime of their physical performance 00:03:11.830 --> 00:03:15.830 and always. How could they not be? constantly 00:03:15.830 --> 00:03:18.930 horny so I mean literally all of this is very 00:03:18.930 --> 00:03:22.210 realistic I agree absolutely the horniness is 00:03:22.210 --> 00:03:24.789 like palpable through the through the book and 00:03:24.789 --> 00:03:27.069 the television palpable horniness palpable horniness 00:03:27.069 --> 00:03:30.770 exactly okay so I'm gonna take us all back to 00:03:30.770 --> 00:03:35.129 room 1410 where it all began I think one of the 00:03:35.129 --> 00:03:39.449 first things that is really cute and sweet is 00:03:39.449 --> 00:03:44.379 the fact that Shane starts by putting on an sort 00:03:44.379 --> 00:03:47.219 of ill -fitting suit. And we were all like, dude, 00:03:47.379 --> 00:03:51.280 what are you doing? You could see the utter nervousness. 00:03:51.300 --> 00:03:55.560 Is this a business interview? Is this prom? What 00:03:55.560 --> 00:03:58.620 is this encounter? And of course, Ilya's wearing 00:03:58.620 --> 00:04:04.020 his usual outfit of tight sports spandex stuff, 00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:06.479 right? Like his little tank. His little black 00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:11.719 tank. Yeah. It shows, I think, how casual it 00:04:11.719 --> 00:04:16.029 is for Ilya. in the beginning and how significant 00:04:16.029 --> 00:04:20.250 it is for shane i think and maybe maybe you know 00:04:20.250 --> 00:04:22.430 maybe your analysis will be a little different 00:04:22.430 --> 00:04:25.389 i think this moment serves as a little bit of 00:04:25.389 --> 00:04:28.790 the narrative exposition like where they're coming 00:04:28.790 --> 00:04:32.310 from in their life because shane's saying this 00:04:32.310 --> 00:04:36.029 is my first time with a man and ilia's like not 00:04:36.029 --> 00:04:40.829 me um he Seems to imply he's only had one other 00:04:40.829 --> 00:04:44.550 male partner, but he's definitely had more experience. 00:04:44.769 --> 00:04:48.230 He's approaching in this like super casual way. 00:04:48.329 --> 00:04:51.050 I think Ilya's nerves come in later, but it's 00:04:51.050 --> 00:04:54.410 very clear sort of the initial way this is starting 00:04:54.410 --> 00:04:58.930 is a casual hookup where Ilya surely has the 00:04:58.930 --> 00:05:02.990 upper hand. There is a subtle take that heated 00:05:02.990 --> 00:05:06.829 rivalry is from... Shane's point of view. I think 00:05:06.829 --> 00:05:10.509 you just see a lot more of his internal work 00:05:10.509 --> 00:05:14.350 made explicit for the audience than Ilya's. And 00:05:14.350 --> 00:05:16.509 that's the style that the book is written in. 00:05:16.550 --> 00:05:19.069 So this is like not surprising at all. And Rachel 00:05:19.069 --> 00:05:21.389 Reed has said that Heated Rivalry is Shane's 00:05:21.389 --> 00:05:25.250 book. Yeah. And the other thing that I get from 00:05:25.250 --> 00:05:30.250 Room 1410 is how mutual it is. First of all, 00:05:30.269 --> 00:05:33.569 they start all encounters except for one with 00:05:33.569 --> 00:05:37.620 kissing. right away right it's like a soft start 00:05:37.620 --> 00:05:39.680 you know they don't have to kiss they don't have 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:42.160 to have this like sweetness to it they don't 00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:44.180 have to have this humor to it but they do they 00:05:44.180 --> 00:05:47.379 start that's their relationship underlying all 00:05:47.379 --> 00:05:50.379 of this whatever it's just casual is sweetness 00:05:50.379 --> 00:05:53.279 and I don't think being casual means you can't 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:56.620 have a sweet funny relationship that's not what 00:05:56.620 --> 00:05:58.740 I'm saying at all but that's where they start 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:02.699 always I think so and then After that sweetness 00:06:02.699 --> 00:06:06.500 is always this mutualness. Shane goes down on 00:06:06.500 --> 00:06:09.959 Ilya and Ilya is clearly enjoying it. And then 00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:13.579 he kind of goes like, let me show you how it's 00:06:13.579 --> 00:06:16.560 done. And that sense of competition inherent 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:19.620 to their relationship because they're, you know, 00:06:19.620 --> 00:06:22.639 rivals. It's even following them into the bedroom. 00:06:23.790 --> 00:06:28.589 This sets up a lot of the dynamic where they're 00:06:28.589 --> 00:06:31.829 discovering each other and there's a underlying 00:06:31.829 --> 00:06:36.329 compatibility to them, even though this is Shane's 00:06:36.329 --> 00:06:39.509 first time with a man, even though they're in 00:06:39.509 --> 00:06:43.949 completely different cultural milieus, even though 00:06:43.949 --> 00:06:46.490 they're approaching this maybe... There's that 00:06:46.490 --> 00:06:50.550 word. You know, this idea of shared values. I 00:06:50.550 --> 00:06:53.899 think they do have... a lot of shared values. 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:57.500 The problem is they don't talk about them until 00:06:57.500 --> 00:07:00.220 like the end. If they had, they probably would 00:07:00.220 --> 00:07:02.600 have understood each other way faster and quicker. 00:07:02.899 --> 00:07:06.079 You guys are very compatible in all ways. But, 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:10.339 you know, the fact that they want the tenderness 00:07:10.339 --> 00:07:13.519 and the humor and the sweetness, the fact that 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:17.399 they want it to be a mutual thing, the fact that 00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:20.610 they're really... competitive, even in the bedroom, 00:07:20.889 --> 00:07:24.850 is just so inherent to their relationship. The 00:07:24.850 --> 00:07:28.470 other thing, though, is at the end of that scene, 00:07:28.649 --> 00:07:34.009 it sort of sets the trap of the secrecy, right? 00:07:34.129 --> 00:07:38.589 It's hidden in the hotel room and then it sets 00:07:38.589 --> 00:07:41.930 up the stage for years of that same behavior 00:07:41.930 --> 00:07:46.089 happening. over and over. Clandestine hotel room 00:07:46.089 --> 00:07:50.810 hookups, text messages, and this compartmentalization 00:07:50.810 --> 00:07:53.769 of emotion. So it's a very double edged sword, 00:07:53.889 --> 00:07:56.750 which most of this book is, you know, because 00:07:56.750 --> 00:08:00.750 right away you sense that more than just physical 00:08:00.750 --> 00:08:03.470 compatibility, they have emotional compatibility 00:08:03.470 --> 00:08:06.189 for all the reasons I've listed. But here they're 00:08:06.189 --> 00:08:09.839 unconscious of it. And then. Later on, they're 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:12.800 completely like intentionally obtuse about it, 00:08:12.839 --> 00:08:16.139 you know, and I think that's what Room 1410 is. 00:08:16.139 --> 00:08:18.100 Intentionally obtuse. I really like that. Intentionally 00:08:18.100 --> 00:08:20.180 obtuse. You like that? Yeah. I think that's just 00:08:20.180 --> 00:08:22.920 men. Yeah. I know. Actually, this might be the 00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:25.920 problem. This might be the problem. They need 00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:29.420 an interpreter. They need like an emotional interpreter. 00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:31.860 That's what they need. They need one of us in 00:08:31.860 --> 00:08:36.759 there. Oh, my God. So they need a woman, as we 00:08:36.759 --> 00:08:39.470 know. They need a woman to help them process 00:08:39.470 --> 00:08:41.950 their emotions. They do. And they get the women. 00:08:42.090 --> 00:08:45.210 They do. Eventually. Yeah. Eventually. Once they 00:08:45.210 --> 00:08:47.929 tell them what's going on. Seriously, which takes 00:08:47.929 --> 00:08:51.730 forever. You know what? I have to disagree with 00:08:51.730 --> 00:08:55.669 you. Oh, OK. Tell me. I know. OK. So you said 00:08:55.669 --> 00:08:58.070 that in the beginning, like it sets up this. 00:08:58.549 --> 00:09:01.350 thing that like it's casual for Ilya and might 00:09:01.350 --> 00:09:03.629 not be as casual for Shane because Shane like 00:09:03.629 --> 00:09:05.490 puts on a suit and he's like this is my first 00:09:05.490 --> 00:09:07.529 date that's what that's how people dress on first 00:09:07.529 --> 00:09:11.649 dates you know but I don't think that's true 00:09:11.649 --> 00:09:14.269 and mostly I'm saying that because of the book 00:09:14.269 --> 00:09:18.009 right in the book Shane notices that Ilya had 00:09:18.009 --> 00:09:20.529 also done his hair and gotten a little dressed 00:09:20.529 --> 00:09:22.909 up and Ilya has his denim jacket in the show 00:09:22.909 --> 00:09:26.049 right like he's he's he's made some effort so 00:09:26.049 --> 00:09:28.820 it's not So I wouldn't say it's not. It's definitely 00:09:28.820 --> 00:09:31.000 casual. Like that's they want it to be casual 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.600 because, you know, they're afraid of themselves 00:09:32.600 --> 00:09:35.519 and everything they feel. But I think it's the 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:38.139 same for both of them. I think they're both kind 00:09:38.139 --> 00:09:40.679 of performing for the other person in the very 00:09:40.679 --> 00:09:42.559 beginning. So that's my only disagreement that 00:09:42.559 --> 00:09:45.139 I do think that Ilya did put some effort into 00:09:45.139 --> 00:09:49.039 it as well. And I bet they were both very nervous, 00:09:49.100 --> 00:09:51.320 you know, for that, even though Ilya does have 00:09:51.320 --> 00:09:54.860 more experience, obviously. But like your experience 00:09:54.860 --> 00:09:58.419 with. your coach's son who's just you know kind 00:09:58.419 --> 00:10:00.799 of like on the outskirts of this hockey culture 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:03.720 is definitely going to be different than your 00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:07.399 experience with your rival who is set to become 00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:11.100 the top of his game, just like you. So that's 00:10:11.100 --> 00:10:12.720 that's my thing. That's what I have to say. I 00:10:12.720 --> 00:10:14.860 think I'm going to digest this for a second because 00:10:14.860 --> 00:10:18.240 you're right. Ilya's effortfully trying to be 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:20.580 effortlessly perilous. Yes. None of them are 00:10:20.580 --> 00:10:23.059 emotionally prepared for what's about to happen, 00:10:23.139 --> 00:10:25.440 especially not Shane, because you could see in 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:27.440 that scene, like right after they first of all, 00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:30.639 he was so excited when Ilya took his jacket off. 00:10:30.740 --> 00:10:32.779 He's like, holy shit, I'm going to go down on 00:10:32.779 --> 00:10:36.480 this man. I don't think he like realized how 00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:39.740 much. he needed this, right? Like he didn't realize 00:10:39.740 --> 00:10:45.299 how much he yearned this male love because he 00:10:45.299 --> 00:10:47.820 was in denial, especially in the beginning. And 00:10:47.820 --> 00:10:50.299 then you could see how like after he gets what 00:10:50.299 --> 00:10:52.700 he has needed that he didn't know that he needed, 00:10:52.820 --> 00:10:56.539 the shame immediately like takes over his entire 00:10:56.539 --> 00:10:59.019 body and soul because like you could see him 00:10:59.019 --> 00:11:00.759 sitting up on the bed and immediately he's like, 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:04.200 fuck, you're not going to tell anyone. Nobody 00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:07.720 can know. And that also sets up the narrative 00:11:07.720 --> 00:11:10.700 that this is how Shane is going to behave. After 00:11:10.700 --> 00:11:13.480 every encounter, even though he knows he wants 00:11:13.480 --> 00:11:17.179 it, he needs it, he desires it, the shame always 00:11:17.179 --> 00:11:22.179 plays that like secondary character in Shane's 00:11:22.179 --> 00:11:24.960 identity. Have you ever watched the show Big 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:28.000 Mouth, the animated show? I've heard it, not 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:31.340 watched it. So it's really awesome. I mean, it's 00:11:31.340 --> 00:11:34.360 raunchy and definitely for adults, even though 00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:38.299 it's animated. But... In this show, emotions 00:11:38.299 --> 00:11:41.940 are characters. Anytime a character is feeling 00:11:41.940 --> 00:11:44.940 something, the emotion is literally in a physical 00:11:44.940 --> 00:11:47.899 form next to them, telling them things, making 00:11:47.899 --> 00:11:51.019 them behave a certain way. And there is shame 00:11:51.019 --> 00:11:54.200 as an emotion. And certain characters carry that 00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:57.820 shame visibly with them. And when I watch Heated 00:11:57.820 --> 00:12:01.200 Rivalry, I'm reminded of this physical embodiment 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:05.240 of shame. Walking behind Shane. Shane, Shane. 00:12:05.379 --> 00:12:08.799 Interesting. Walking behind Shane the whole time 00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:11.720 because like it embodies him, like envelops him 00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:14.960 into this like cocoon of shame. And he's able 00:12:14.960 --> 00:12:17.500 to like get out for like a millisecond and then 00:12:17.500 --> 00:12:19.559 he's right back. You know, it's really amazing 00:12:19.559 --> 00:12:22.379 and he's euphoric. But you're right. There's 00:12:22.379 --> 00:12:26.110 a kernel of shame that starts. starts there almost 00:12:26.110 --> 00:12:28.850 immediately after they're done like almost immediately 00:12:28.850 --> 00:12:31.429 and do you get the sense that it's like that 00:12:31.429 --> 00:12:34.590 for ilia like i don't know no not at all is the 00:12:34.590 --> 00:12:38.450 thing i think ilia's emotion is more complicated 00:12:38.450 --> 00:12:41.409 i think for him part of that extra character 00:12:41.409 --> 00:12:44.889 of emotion probably has to be just deep sadness 00:12:44.889 --> 00:12:48.669 and like the knowledge that this can't be anything 00:12:48.669 --> 00:12:52.440 outside of the hidden dark hotel room encounters. 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:54.820 I don't think Ilya feels shame at all. He's very 00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:58.440 confident in who he is. Yeah, I agree. It's almost 00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:02.259 resignation. Yes. He's just resigned to this 00:13:02.259 --> 00:13:04.580 is how it is. But it's not because he's denying 00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:08.269 himself. Whereas I think for Shane. This encounter 00:13:08.269 --> 00:13:11.070 starts, like, the whole denial process. Yeah, 00:13:11.070 --> 00:13:12.809 absolutely. You're totally right. That's a good 00:13:12.809 --> 00:13:17.570 question. Speaking of, let's move to 1221, right? 00:13:17.970 --> 00:13:21.909 1221. Shane runs into the room. Ilya's like, 00:13:22.009 --> 00:13:24.269 is someone chasing you? Shane is like, dude, 00:13:24.350 --> 00:13:25.970 like, I'm standing out here like an idiot. Scott 00:13:25.970 --> 00:13:30.169 Hunter is right next door. I just love how much 00:13:30.169 --> 00:13:33.519 Shane just cannot. handle himself around ilia 00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:36.960 right runs across that fucking living room or 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:39.120 hallway or whatever to just like put his hands 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:41.940 on ilia he needed it he's like fuck it fuck it 00:13:41.940 --> 00:13:45.700 i need you in my mouth right now you mean shane 00:13:45.700 --> 00:13:49.820 doesn't do suave what yeah he's not sitting there 00:13:49.820 --> 00:13:51.779 i'd be like so what do you want to do now yeah 00:13:51.779 --> 00:13:54.980 he's like no casually knocking that's such a 00:13:54.980 --> 00:13:58.220 interesting juxtaposition right because ilia 00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:02.779 in in the last encounter in 1410 is so calm at 00:14:02.779 --> 00:14:05.720 the door and she's breathing like he played another 00:14:05.720 --> 00:14:08.940 game he's not at all hiding it at that moment 00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:11.500 he's like i need it i want it i'm getting it 00:14:12.539 --> 00:14:15.059 No show whatsoever. They're making out. Ilya, 00:14:15.259 --> 00:14:19.159 for the first time, tests this dom -sub relationship 00:14:19.159 --> 00:14:22.059 and says, get on your knees. And Shane does not 00:14:22.059 --> 00:14:24.820 even have to be told, but he just drops immediately. 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:27.720 And you could see Ilya go, oh, my God, like that 00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:32.259 fucking worked. Right. Like, which that is the 00:14:32.259 --> 00:14:36.480 first narrative establishment of the soft dom 00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:39.980 happening there. Right. And and then he lifts 00:14:39.980 --> 00:14:43.379 him up. and carries him to the bed in the book. 00:14:43.500 --> 00:14:45.860 Shane was so mad about that. He was like, how 00:14:45.860 --> 00:14:49.460 dare you put me down? Right. That's like competition 00:14:49.460 --> 00:14:52.860 again. Right. I'm really strong. I'm an amazing 00:14:52.860 --> 00:14:55.259 hockey player. He lifts him up. He carries him 00:14:55.259 --> 00:14:58.299 to the bed. They like literally rip each other's 00:14:58.299 --> 00:15:00.259 clothes off, you know, like they just want to 00:15:00.259 --> 00:15:03.580 get to it. And this is the moment that narratively 00:15:03.580 --> 00:15:05.840 they're actively choosing each other at this 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.029 point. Right. Shane didn't have to show up. in 00:15:08.029 --> 00:15:10.389 that room after he was given the number, right? 00:15:10.490 --> 00:15:13.090 The connection at this point, they realize like 00:15:13.090 --> 00:15:15.909 this is not a one -time thing. We're going to 00:15:15.909 --> 00:15:19.570 potentially keep doing this. And so in this moment, 00:15:19.809 --> 00:15:23.509 Ilya is ready to have intercourse with Shane. 00:15:24.049 --> 00:15:28.409 And Shane is definitely not. The consent here 00:15:28.409 --> 00:15:31.549 is amazing. And the respecting of the boundaries 00:15:31.549 --> 00:15:35.289 that Ilya shows Shane is also out of this world, 00:15:35.350 --> 00:15:38.240 right? Immediately clocks that Shane is not ready. 00:15:38.990 --> 00:15:41.490 He immediately says, no, it's OK. Like like he 00:15:41.490 --> 00:15:43.049 makes a little joke here and there because he 00:15:43.049 --> 00:15:44.830 likes to lighten the mood, you know, when it's 00:15:44.830 --> 00:15:47.470 uncomfortable. And they talk about Shane's dildo. 00:15:47.789 --> 00:15:50.629 And by the way, I know the color has never been 00:15:50.629 --> 00:15:52.750 mentioned, but the fandom has decided it's purple. 00:15:52.889 --> 00:15:54.570 I'm just I'm just going to. Yeah. Like we all 00:15:54.570 --> 00:15:58.309 kind of knew in my head. I don't. When did I 00:15:58.309 --> 00:16:01.350 know it was purple? But nobody knows for sure. 00:16:01.389 --> 00:16:04.269 But we know like it's purple. A hundred percent. 00:16:04.370 --> 00:16:07.029 There's no other way to describe it. Right. So 00:16:07.029 --> 00:16:08.820 it's purple. We have all decided. Rachel Reed, 00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:11.139 please confirm. But it is purple. And so they 00:16:11.139 --> 00:16:13.899 have this little banter and Ilya immediately 00:16:13.899 --> 00:16:16.340 like respects the boundary and says, OK, next 00:16:16.340 --> 00:16:19.059 time. So already this is not going to end. You 00:16:19.059 --> 00:16:21.240 know, like this is not going to end. This scene 00:16:21.240 --> 00:16:24.019 is driving the narrative forward because we now 00:16:24.019 --> 00:16:26.980 know there will be a next time. Ilya explicitly 00:16:26.980 --> 00:16:28.740 says that. And of course, Shane has his little 00:16:28.740 --> 00:16:30.940 panic attack and Ilya, you know, regulates him. 00:16:31.259 --> 00:16:34.500 And then another very important part of the scene 00:16:34.500 --> 00:16:38.820 is the setup of the future. of texting. This 00:16:38.820 --> 00:16:42.320 is when Lily and Jane are born. And that sets 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:47.919 up the entire cycle of secrecy. It becomes embedded 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:51.799 into this relationship structure itself, right? 00:16:51.899 --> 00:16:54.580 And I think that is especially important in the 00:16:54.580 --> 00:16:56.840 narrative structure that we follow through with 00:16:56.840 --> 00:17:00.460 them. Each moment of intimacy is building on 00:17:00.460 --> 00:17:04.559 the previous one in good and bad ways. They are 00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:08.230 developing so many of these really really lovely 00:17:08.230 --> 00:17:10.809 compatible patterns with each other and then 00:17:10.809 --> 00:17:14.150 they're developing on the flip all the like toxicity 00:17:14.150 --> 00:17:18.309 that comes with a deeply closeted relationship 00:17:18.309 --> 00:17:21.640 now They're making plans, but they only make 00:17:21.640 --> 00:17:24.700 plans one step ahead. Right? That's the problem. 00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:26.500 Because there's no long term because they know 00:17:26.500 --> 00:17:31.559 they can't have long term. So it's always these 00:17:31.559 --> 00:17:34.259 encounters. But they do plan on them. They do. 00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:37.839 Yeah, that's really funny. Yeah. Now we're going 00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:41.549 into their first time. Oh, God, I love that. 00:17:41.549 --> 00:17:45.670 So their first time, a .k .a. Shane, is topped 00:17:45.670 --> 00:17:48.430 by Ilya. I can't believe I have to start because 00:17:48.430 --> 00:17:52.269 usually when we do these scene analysis, it's 00:17:52.269 --> 00:17:54.710 because we all we have favorites. You do this 00:17:54.710 --> 00:17:59.130 one. Usually you start here and then I I do Vegas 00:17:59.130 --> 00:18:01.980 because that's my favorite. And now we're flipping 00:18:01.980 --> 00:18:04.920 it, though. We're flipping the script. So I feel 00:18:04.920 --> 00:18:07.680 a little vulnerable in this moment. Just like 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:12.119 Shane in this moment. Exactly. Exactly. But you 00:18:12.119 --> 00:18:15.849 know what? We did. analyze this part a little 00:18:15.849 --> 00:18:18.509 bit. Because once again, the encounter starts 00:18:18.509 --> 00:18:21.930 with this humorous beginning. The fact that they 00:18:21.930 --> 00:18:26.470 were sexting and Shane was, as we called it in 00:18:26.470 --> 00:18:29.009 another episode, an angry kitten, like bristling 00:18:29.009 --> 00:18:33.210 at this like inappropriate sext that is occurring 00:18:33.210 --> 00:18:36.049 in the locker room. And in the books, I think 00:18:36.049 --> 00:18:38.759 my... One of my favorite things that Ilya says 00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:41.900 to Shane, thinks, he doesn't say it to Shane, 00:18:41.980 --> 00:18:45.619 is that he knows that it's like, it'll be a good 00:18:45.619 --> 00:18:50.400 thing with Shane if they like. lose to each other 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:53.440 by ish like a little volume you know like not 00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:57.039 like a full -on angry long enough to bring it 00:18:57.039 --> 00:18:59.759 into the bedroom right right he's just like a 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:02.539 respectable win he doesn't want to trounce Shane 00:19:02.539 --> 00:19:05.339 you know he doesn't want that but he wants to 00:19:05.339 --> 00:19:08.779 win but he wants it to be like by a point you 00:19:08.779 --> 00:19:13.319 know just enough to like keep the edge going 00:19:13.319 --> 00:19:16.019 but not enough for you know Shane to feel like 00:19:16.349 --> 00:19:19.930 deeply ashamed and upset and embarrassed which 00:19:19.930 --> 00:19:23.609 actually is not where the book started right 00:19:23.609 --> 00:19:25.970 but but this time Montreal wins they're racing 00:19:25.970 --> 00:19:28.910 up the stairs again the competition part scene 00:19:28.910 --> 00:19:33.150 my favorite one of my favorite scenes but all 00:19:33.150 --> 00:19:38.109 of this to say that humor and and and feeling 00:19:38.109 --> 00:19:41.789 comfortable is part of their foreplay they have 00:19:41.789 --> 00:19:45.809 to have it for the like the intimacy to be, to 00:19:45.809 --> 00:19:49.269 feel authentic and comfortable. Then, of course, 00:19:49.309 --> 00:19:52.410 you start hearing It's You by Peter Peter playing 00:19:52.410 --> 00:19:55.349 in the background, which I think is a really 00:19:55.349 --> 00:19:58.190 smart choice to have it start playing like before 00:19:58.190 --> 00:20:00.930 the encounter fully starts because it's such 00:20:00.930 --> 00:20:05.230 a dreamy song and it's very immersive in that 00:20:05.230 --> 00:20:07.549 you don't even notice that it's on. And then 00:20:07.549 --> 00:20:10.630 it's like you notice that it's on. The soundtrack 00:20:10.630 --> 00:20:14.640 starts when the... dialogue is still going yeah 00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:17.339 and then the dialogue stops and then the soundtracks 00:20:17.339 --> 00:20:19.960 just like blooms right like but it's been there 00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:22.259 the whole time so I thought that was a really 00:20:22.259 --> 00:20:26.039 beautiful way that soundtrack was incorporated 00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:31.569 because during the scene I mean it just it swells 00:20:31.569 --> 00:20:35.109 like the it's you swells despite the joke about 00:20:35.109 --> 00:20:38.769 the million condoms that he has and you know 00:20:38.769 --> 00:20:42.069 despite you know where do you want me oh you 00:20:42.069 --> 00:20:45.690 know on the floor and the table despite the like 00:20:45.690 --> 00:20:48.849 little dig about who did decorated your bedroom 00:20:48.849 --> 00:20:54.369 it is such a deeply authentic connection between 00:20:54.369 --> 00:20:56.869 the two of them. They're having sex with strings. 00:20:57.109 --> 00:20:59.190 That's what I think this moment is. Wait, did 00:20:59.190 --> 00:21:01.329 you just say strings? I've never heard you mention 00:21:01.329 --> 00:21:06.049 strings before. Never. Sex with strings. And 00:21:06.049 --> 00:21:09.390 you could tell that we talk about the consent 00:21:09.390 --> 00:21:13.710 aspect, but here. The multiple times that he 00:21:13.710 --> 00:21:17.089 checks in is so key because it's just such a 00:21:17.089 --> 00:21:20.250 positive example of how consent's an ongoing 00:21:20.250 --> 00:21:23.970 thing. That just because you consent to having, 00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:26.950 you know, you still want, yes. Okay, but like, 00:21:27.029 --> 00:21:29.250 how about now? Do you still want? You know, it's 00:21:29.250 --> 00:21:30.150 really important. And do you like it this way 00:21:30.150 --> 00:21:34.130 and that way? Yes, that way. And there's a lot 00:21:34.130 --> 00:21:36.670 of movement happening in that scene. What is 00:21:36.670 --> 00:21:39.990 making Shane comfortable since this is his first 00:21:39.990 --> 00:21:43.960 time? you know, bottoming. And Illya is constantly 00:21:43.960 --> 00:21:46.980 checking in. Consent doesn't just disappear after 00:21:46.980 --> 00:21:49.839 the first yes. And I think that's so key. By 00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:52.940 the way, the acting was stunning. I don't really 00:21:52.940 --> 00:21:57.339 know how you can turn red and sweat on cue or 00:21:57.339 --> 00:22:00.180 have like a bulging vein. I'm like, how does 00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:01.559 one do this? I don't know how they do it. I really 00:22:01.559 --> 00:22:03.339 don't know how they do it. Like, I understand 00:22:03.339 --> 00:22:06.319 like the intimacy coordinator, like helping them 00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:08.140 with the movement and then this and then that. 00:22:08.220 --> 00:22:09.980 Like, and I remember reading somewhere that like, 00:22:10.509 --> 00:22:12.369 Like Connor's story was like, when I squeeze 00:22:12.369 --> 00:22:14.789 your thigh, that's when I'm a .k .a. like entering. 00:22:14.950 --> 00:22:17.210 So like, you know, that's your cue to like, you 00:22:17.210 --> 00:22:20.009 know, behave whichever way you would. Right. 00:22:20.170 --> 00:22:24.289 But like to to look like you're bulging everywhere. 00:22:24.490 --> 00:22:27.950 Like, yeah, I know the physical acting is pretty 00:22:27.950 --> 00:22:30.549 amazing. You know, I really feel like they are 00:22:30.549 --> 00:22:34.109 selling this sex scene. Yeah. And then it just 00:22:34.109 --> 00:22:37.130 ends. Right. It stops. And yes, there is that 00:22:37.130 --> 00:22:40.559 moment of tenderness like down the stairs. where 00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:43.140 he kisses him. And that's a really sweet kiss. 00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:46.140 That's the kiss you give someone, you know, when 00:22:46.140 --> 00:22:48.420 when you've had like sex with them the first 00:22:48.420 --> 00:22:52.500 time and you want to continue to do it and you 00:22:52.500 --> 00:22:54.980 want to date them. That's a dating kiss. That's 00:22:54.980 --> 00:22:58.619 a dating kiss. That's not a hookup kiss. Before 00:22:58.619 --> 00:23:01.799 that, though, he's like, well, I'm done. I do 00:23:01.799 --> 00:23:05.900 feel like that sets up this sort of. like intimacy 00:23:05.900 --> 00:23:08.380 withdrawal thing that they keep doing. They're 00:23:08.380 --> 00:23:11.519 intimate. And then they go further every time. 00:23:11.579 --> 00:23:14.420 And then they like run back like little rabbits. 00:23:14.460 --> 00:23:16.799 You know what I mean? But they keep getting further 00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:19.500 even if they keep running back. Right. They keep 00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:22.880 running back. And it's more intense. Each encounter 00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:26.440 is subsequently, I think, more intense. in its 00:23:26.440 --> 00:23:30.000 emotionality, even though they say nothing. And 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:33.059 I think it's all those other gestures outside 00:23:33.059 --> 00:23:36.039 of the actual sex occurring that really lead 00:23:36.039 --> 00:23:38.579 to that conclusion. Like, yeah, he's like, okay, 00:23:38.619 --> 00:23:41.759 I'm leaving. Bye. We're done. But then on the 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:44.599 stairs, they can't stop kissing each other. They 00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:48.579 can't stop, like, wanting to stay. They want 00:23:48.579 --> 00:23:51.539 to stay. They want to stay. They want to stay. 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:54.619 The one part that I think I want to bring up 00:23:54.619 --> 00:23:58.119 is the very the end when Ilya says, was it worth 00:23:58.119 --> 00:24:02.339 the wait? And instead of answering him with words, 00:24:02.660 --> 00:24:07.720 Shane does something so intimate, so relationship 00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:11.700 coded. He just leans in and holds his chin and 00:24:11.700 --> 00:24:15.410 gives him this like beautiful. kiss of saying, 00:24:15.549 --> 00:24:18.690 not only was it worth it, it is something I've 00:24:18.690 --> 00:24:22.289 been waiting for my entire life with you specifically. 00:24:22.869 --> 00:24:25.690 While they still refuse to define any type of 00:24:25.690 --> 00:24:28.170 relationship, it shows that they have crossed 00:24:28.170 --> 00:24:32.670 this line that they cannot emotionally walk back 00:24:32.670 --> 00:24:35.190 from. And like you said, at the very end, when 00:24:35.190 --> 00:24:39.009 Ilya kisses him, he reinforces that cycle of 00:24:39.009 --> 00:24:42.700 intimacy following that emotional. OK, I'm out. 00:24:42.740 --> 00:24:44.619 Give me my jacket. I'm out. You know, like retreat, 00:24:44.859 --> 00:24:47.119 like the emotional retreat. It being his first 00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:48.720 time. And listen, we know that Ilya has been 00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:51.500 with at least one other man. And clearly it wasn't 00:24:51.500 --> 00:24:53.700 like this. You know, it probably was just a very 00:24:53.700 --> 00:24:56.680 let's get each other off relationship because 00:24:56.680 --> 00:24:59.559 no one else in Russia could do that for us, you 00:24:59.559 --> 00:25:04.000 know. So for Ilya, it also is very emotionally 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:08.079 charged. And that's why he has that little moment 00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:11.420 of when Shane kisses him right at the end. And 00:25:11.420 --> 00:25:13.440 he goes, oh, I got to go. Like, I got to leave, 00:25:13.559 --> 00:25:16.200 you know. And you could see it in his face because 00:25:16.200 --> 00:25:18.019 Connor's stories act. I mean, both of their acting 00:25:18.019 --> 00:25:20.200 is insane. But you could see it in his face like, 00:25:20.299 --> 00:25:22.240 oh, this has crossed the line for me. This is 00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:25.059 too tender. Bye. I need to leave. But he can't 00:25:25.059 --> 00:25:26.940 help himself at the end when he kisses him again. 00:25:27.099 --> 00:25:29.559 You know, he can't help himself. And Ilya often 00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:33.720 cannot help himself with showing that emotional 00:25:33.720 --> 00:25:37.240 depth that he so very hard tries to hide. Yeah. 00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:40.759 Yeah, because he can't like he has the depth. 00:25:40.819 --> 00:25:43.079 That's the problem. That's the problem. He feels 00:25:43.079 --> 00:25:48.279 it. Exactly. Yeah. And so then he tries to completely 00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:52.220 get rid of them. Right. He has realized that 00:25:52.220 --> 00:25:55.559 after that and so she that life is too complicated 00:25:55.559 --> 00:25:58.619 for this to add to it. Right. Like his life is 00:25:58.619 --> 00:26:02.500 too complicated. He does not need. Shane fucking 00:26:02.500 --> 00:26:05.700 Hollander adding an extra layer of complication 00:26:05.700 --> 00:26:09.140 to his life. Right. Right. And so he tries very 00:26:09.140 --> 00:26:12.019 hard to get rid of it completely. But if it has 00:26:12.019 --> 00:26:14.140 to stay, at least it could just be just casual. 00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:17.140 Right. And that's why we get Vegas. Right. Because 00:26:17.140 --> 00:26:22.619 it's obvious that both of them want this to not 00:26:22.619 --> 00:26:26.480 end, but also to end. And they're both resisting 00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:31.660 and they're both wanting it so badly. To remove 00:26:31.660 --> 00:26:35.279 that extra layer of emotion, Vegas happens. Yep. 00:26:35.339 --> 00:26:40.980 And that scene is obviously an escalation. It's 00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:43.880 a scene where Ilya thinks he has more control 00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:48.240 than he has. It's a time where Shane thinks he 00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:51.180 has less control than he has, but realizes he 00:26:51.180 --> 00:26:53.339 has more control within the situation, whereas 00:26:53.339 --> 00:26:56.500 Ilya realizes he has less control within the 00:26:56.500 --> 00:27:00.000 situation as it's happening. Because Ilya comes 00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:03.380 up and he's like, yeah, I'm the dom, you... perform 00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:06.000 for me you know whatever and you know establishing 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.000 that relationship but also taking out like the 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.519 intimacy like the the sweetness of it all right 00:27:10.519 --> 00:27:14.759 and then shane is like you know i'll do it whatever 00:27:14.759 --> 00:27:16.619 like he's uncomfortable but he's gonna do it 00:27:16.619 --> 00:27:18.799 he's willing to do it because he wants it so 00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:23.589 fucking badly this sex scene is the biggest battle 00:27:23.589 --> 00:27:27.130 for them. As sexy and as hot and the chair and 00:27:27.130 --> 00:27:30.130 they both look gorgeous, right? They're both 00:27:30.130 --> 00:27:34.009 in suits and their bodies are absolutely insane. 00:27:34.170 --> 00:27:36.089 The lighting, like you've talked about this last 00:27:36.089 --> 00:27:40.769 time, like it's visually gorgeous and sexy. And 00:27:40.769 --> 00:27:43.430 the music, that like Inferno, we talked about 00:27:43.430 --> 00:27:46.930 that too, like everything about that scene oozes 00:27:46.930 --> 00:27:52.230 sex, right? And no intimate, like no emotional 00:27:52.230 --> 00:27:55.329 intimacy. And that's done very on purpose because 00:27:55.329 --> 00:27:58.049 the narrative here is they are trying to not 00:27:58.049 --> 00:28:01.609 be with each other, but they are failing miserably, 00:28:01.750 --> 00:28:04.769 you know? And that's why that scene is so pivotal 00:28:04.769 --> 00:28:08.730 because it reverses their usual dynamic. It shows 00:28:08.730 --> 00:28:11.990 Shane is taking rare control and reclaiming something 00:28:11.990 --> 00:28:14.269 that like rejection he's felt throughout the 00:28:14.269 --> 00:28:16.250 whole Sochi thing, right? So after they finish 00:28:16.250 --> 00:28:20.079 having that raw, quote unquote, emotionless sex. 00:28:20.500 --> 00:28:22.819 They're in bed and they're talking. And, you 00:28:22.819 --> 00:28:24.660 know, from Shane's point of view, he says to 00:28:24.660 --> 00:28:27.559 himself, like, I feel like I'm going to be like, 00:28:27.819 --> 00:28:30.799 I'm going to feel shame after this, but not yet. 00:28:30.819 --> 00:28:32.619 And I'm just going to enjoy it. Right. Right. 00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:36.200 And then when Ilya says, OK, I should go to sleep. 00:28:36.279 --> 00:28:38.299 You know, we do get the Ilya's point of view. 00:28:39.380 --> 00:28:42.059 In the book, this line like always kills me. 00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:44.380 It's from Shane's point of view. And it says 00:28:44.380 --> 00:28:47.650 something like, ah, there is that shame. Right. 00:28:47.769 --> 00:28:51.190 Because like it like creeps back. Right. And 00:28:51.190 --> 00:28:53.970 like and Ilya wasn't he couldn't he couldn't 00:28:53.970 --> 00:28:55.750 have that conversation. He doesn't want to he 00:28:55.750 --> 00:28:57.430 doesn't want to talk about that. And he says 00:28:57.430 --> 00:28:59.190 from Ilya's point of view, Ilya does say like 00:28:59.190 --> 00:29:03.170 when when Shane asks about Russia, Ilya wants 00:29:03.170 --> 00:29:06.009 to tell him everything, but he can't. So instead, 00:29:06.230 --> 00:29:08.869 he just says, I should sleep. And Shane's point 00:29:08.869 --> 00:29:12.009 of view after I should sleep is, ah, there's 00:29:12.009 --> 00:29:14.450 that shame. Yep. You know, that character that 00:29:14.450 --> 00:29:18.059 just follows Shane around. Right. Most of the 00:29:18.059 --> 00:29:21.500 time, you know, that shame that creeps back in. 00:29:21.950 --> 00:29:23.950 They both were trying something they couldn't 00:29:23.950 --> 00:29:26.490 get past. And Shane leaves. And of course, we 00:29:26.490 --> 00:29:29.130 get the, you know, we didn't even kiss. And Shane 00:29:29.130 --> 00:29:32.730 realizes that he fucking cares. And he's horrified. 00:29:32.930 --> 00:29:35.250 Yeah, he regretted it. And it was horrifying 00:29:35.250 --> 00:29:38.430 that he regretted it, you know. And so while 00:29:38.430 --> 00:29:42.910 they tried to have this time completely emotion 00:29:42.910 --> 00:29:45.609 -free without loving each other or whatever, 00:29:45.829 --> 00:29:48.309 it actually furthers the narrative of them wanting 00:29:48.309 --> 00:29:51.680 each other more. And I thought that was... Yeah. 00:29:51.779 --> 00:29:55.400 They tried so hard. Yeah. It's the most emotional, 00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:58.579 emotional, emotionless sex ever. You're like, 00:29:58.599 --> 00:30:02.480 I think that's why it struck a weird chord. Because 00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:06.299 if you were having that with your hookup, you 00:30:06.299 --> 00:30:09.279 should be like really excited that happened. 00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:12.079 Right. Like it was like, yeah, it was hot. Yeah. 00:30:12.660 --> 00:30:17.359 Like nobody's happy after that. And even and 00:30:17.359 --> 00:30:20.119 it reminds me of, you know, this. I don't want 00:30:20.119 --> 00:30:22.619 to reduce it to angry sex, but they're trying 00:30:22.619 --> 00:30:25.420 to be emotionless about it because they are like, 00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:28.640 we can't have emotional sex. So let's just try 00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:31.819 to have sex without emotions. But at the same 00:30:31.819 --> 00:30:35.259 time, all we're seething is emotions. You know, 00:30:35.259 --> 00:30:37.279 that's what we get. Like the rawest emotion, 00:30:37.539 --> 00:30:40.900 too. That scene. It's just like coming off of 00:30:40.900 --> 00:30:43.880 them. But they're not explaining to each other 00:30:43.880 --> 00:30:47.099 what the emotion is. And so it just comes off 00:30:47.099 --> 00:30:50.279 as closed off. Yeah. And I'm not fooled as a 00:30:50.279 --> 00:30:53.039 viewer or the reader. Not at all. And I'm like, 00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:56.599 hello. I know. I know. And like so many people 00:30:56.599 --> 00:30:59.799 feel so bad for Shane, which, listen, I get it. 00:30:59.819 --> 00:31:04.000 I too feel bad. We didn't even kiss. Oh, heartbreaking. 00:31:04.980 --> 00:31:07.079 Heartbreaking, you know? And again, if this was 00:31:07.079 --> 00:31:08.759 one of your friends, like one of your girlfriends, 00:31:08.940 --> 00:31:10.819 and she was having this type of relationship 00:31:10.819 --> 00:31:14.420 with a man, you'd be like, run away. Like, he 00:31:14.420 --> 00:31:17.339 is not worth your time. He's clearly damaged. 00:31:17.420 --> 00:31:19.380 Like, you don't need that shit, right? But with 00:31:19.380 --> 00:31:21.509 Shane, we're like, but... you know, he has all 00:31:21.509 --> 00:31:23.910 these complicated feelings and emotions, Shane, 00:31:24.009 --> 00:31:26.150 because we're rooting for them at the end of 00:31:26.150 --> 00:31:27.769 the day. We are rooting for them because the 00:31:27.769 --> 00:31:31.150 other thing is, is the umbrella of homophobia 00:31:31.150 --> 00:31:34.150 that they have. No, of course. Yeah. And I think 00:31:34.150 --> 00:31:36.150 that I think is the difference. It's like they're 00:31:36.150 --> 00:31:39.569 processing this homophobia in two different ways 00:31:39.569 --> 00:31:42.210 and they're not talking to each other about it 00:31:42.210 --> 00:31:45.240 either. You know what I mean? You know, they're 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:48.720 not even just not talking about their relationship 00:31:48.720 --> 00:31:52.140 to each other. They're not talking about the 00:31:52.140 --> 00:31:55.150 way they need to approach. this homophobia and 00:31:55.150 --> 00:31:58.910 how it impacts them, internalized, externalized, 00:31:58.910 --> 00:32:01.109 all of it. And they're not talking about their 00:32:01.109 --> 00:32:04.450 own relationship to their identity with each 00:32:04.450 --> 00:32:07.109 other. So it's like three layers. It's like they're 00:32:07.109 --> 00:32:09.529 not actually talking about how their relationship 00:32:09.529 --> 00:32:12.009 is because before they reconcile their relationship, 00:32:12.230 --> 00:32:14.750 they have to reconcile their identity and they 00:32:14.750 --> 00:32:17.309 have to reconcile how the external world is going 00:32:17.309 --> 00:32:19.619 to. approach it. You're right, because that's 00:32:19.619 --> 00:32:21.420 why we root for them, because we realize that 00:32:21.420 --> 00:32:24.339 a lot of their actions and words and silence 00:32:24.339 --> 00:32:28.799 is rooted in this culture of homophobia. Well, 00:32:28.940 --> 00:32:31.240 you're going to now talk about Tuna Meltdown. 00:32:31.539 --> 00:32:34.220 Oh, Tuna Meltdown. Usually I talk about this. 00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:36.579 This is my reversing the script. I want to hear 00:32:36.579 --> 00:32:39.079 your thoughts. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. 00:32:39.180 --> 00:32:45.759 This is firmly your territory. So, okay. I have 00:32:46.890 --> 00:32:50.230 A word for this. It's so funny because, you know, 00:32:50.230 --> 00:32:54.089 a bunch of stuff happens between Vegas and Tuna 00:32:54.089 --> 00:32:57.210 Meltdown. And I know it happens, but when we're 00:32:57.210 --> 00:33:00.029 doing the scene analysis, I'm like, did they 00:33:00.029 --> 00:33:04.009 forget about Vegas? Like, it's just like, it's 00:33:04.009 --> 00:33:06.670 not there. That's what I mean. Like, it's like 00:33:06.670 --> 00:33:09.589 they're being deliberately obtuse. They're like, 00:33:09.650 --> 00:33:12.410 I'm like, do you not remember what happened? 00:33:12.529 --> 00:33:16.440 Baby, like. Hello. Can we can we actually. And 00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:20.700 I think that's why for them distance like the 00:33:20.700 --> 00:33:23.799 actual distance that they have to have and the 00:33:23.799 --> 00:33:27.220 actual fact that they have to be apart from each 00:33:27.220 --> 00:33:30.819 other in the offseason and whatever is like really 00:33:30.819 --> 00:33:34.799 playing into their. Yeah. Avoidance behavior. 00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:38.079 It's really helping. It's helping. Yeah. Because 00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:40.240 it's easier when you don't see each other all 00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:42.700 the time to to avoid one another. Obviously, 00:33:42.700 --> 00:33:46.730 when you're. oceans apart. Yeah, exactly. In 00:33:46.730 --> 00:33:50.309 all ways. And it's so, so then you go from that 00:33:50.309 --> 00:33:54.869 incredibly intense Vegas scene to Tuna Meltdown 00:33:54.869 --> 00:33:57.410 where it's like, it starts kind of casually. 00:33:57.710 --> 00:34:00.829 I think the key difference here, at least lighting 00:34:00.829 --> 00:34:05.049 wise and the way the style is, is I, okay, I 00:34:05.049 --> 00:34:08.769 call it daytime intimacy. I think this is like 00:34:08.769 --> 00:34:12.590 really the first time you start to see it. happen. 00:34:12.690 --> 00:34:14.989 Daytime intimacy. You're right. Because before 00:34:14.989 --> 00:34:17.750 that, it's always been at night. Yeah. Or it 00:34:17.750 --> 00:34:21.210 starts at night or it's dark. Like the room is 00:34:21.210 --> 00:34:24.170 dark, the hotel room, whatever. This is like 00:34:24.170 --> 00:34:27.690 a new beast for them. They approach it, of course, 00:34:27.750 --> 00:34:30.489 with like no sense of where they were before. 00:34:30.710 --> 00:34:33.010 It's like, hey, OK, we're we're just I'm just 00:34:33.010 --> 00:34:35.610 popping in here. There's there's like an element 00:34:35.610 --> 00:34:38.050 of like I don't want to say sloppiness, but like 00:34:38.050 --> 00:34:41.920 it's it's. It's unraveling. It's unraveling. 00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:45.039 And I think that's why the tuna meltdown happens 00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:48.360 at exactly this moment. This combination of things 00:34:48.360 --> 00:34:51.920 like, are they ready for this daytime intimacy? 00:34:51.980 --> 00:34:54.519 Are they ready to spend the whole day in bed 00:34:54.519 --> 00:34:57.699 together, having sex, but also just cuddling? 00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:00.909 Are they ready for that after Vegas? No, no. 00:35:00.989 --> 00:35:03.750 They need to talk first, but they don't. They 00:35:03.750 --> 00:35:06.690 always seem to take the leap before they actually 00:35:06.690 --> 00:35:09.449 analyze where the leap is going to take them. 00:35:09.610 --> 00:35:12.429 And I think that's why Tuna Meltdown occurs as 00:35:12.429 --> 00:35:16.769 it is, because they have sex. It's really emotional 00:35:16.769 --> 00:35:21.030 sex. And then they're cuddling. And one of my 00:35:21.030 --> 00:35:24.489 favorite micro moments is when Ilya pretends 00:35:24.489 --> 00:35:27.250 to be sleeping when he's like clearly awake. 00:35:27.550 --> 00:35:31.019 And he's like, oh, wait, what? I just woke up. 00:35:31.059 --> 00:35:33.039 You know, you're like, you've been staring at 00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:37.739 this man in your bed for a little bit. For six 00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:41.900 years. Yeah. And he's like literally staring 00:35:41.900 --> 00:35:45.579 at him. He's clearly in love with him at this 00:35:45.579 --> 00:35:49.360 point. So in love. Right? And he's watching him 00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:52.860 sleep. And it's so miles away from Vegas. You 00:35:52.860 --> 00:35:55.989 know what I mean? Yeah. My God, like you are 00:35:55.989 --> 00:35:58.809 completely lost. If Vegas was his attempt to 00:35:58.809 --> 00:36:03.829 shut it down, well, that failed. And so. Colossal 00:36:03.829 --> 00:36:07.690 fail. A complete fail. And one of the things 00:36:07.690 --> 00:36:10.750 that came up, and I don't even know why I didn't 00:36:10.750 --> 00:36:15.329 think about this before, is when our guest last 00:36:15.329 --> 00:36:19.380 episode, Jayanthi, said he takes. his little 00:36:19.380 --> 00:36:22.280 macrobiotic diet thing everywhere he goes. He 00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:24.940 goes over to Hayden's house and he's eating that 00:36:24.940 --> 00:36:29.239 at their house. But on the spur of the moment, 00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:31.340 Ilya's like, do you want a tuna melt? And he's 00:36:31.340 --> 00:36:33.519 like, sure, I'll have a tuna melt. You know, 00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:37.460 like it's that sense of losing control. He's 00:36:37.460 --> 00:36:41.559 giving up control. He doesn't even realize it 00:36:41.559 --> 00:36:43.940 because he just said yes to this tuna melt. It's 00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:47.110 like the tuna melt of... Tuna melt of doom, tuna 00:36:47.110 --> 00:36:49.429 melt of love, whatever you want to call it. It's 00:36:49.429 --> 00:36:52.989 like all of it. The tuna melt itself. represents 00:36:52.989 --> 00:36:56.269 the complete loss of control both of them have 00:36:56.269 --> 00:36:58.869 in the relationship. Complete loss of control. 00:36:58.969 --> 00:37:01.769 And they think they're in control. And I think 00:37:01.769 --> 00:37:05.369 that's why it unfolds. And then you have the 00:37:05.369 --> 00:37:10.070 added complication, drama, emotional, seething 00:37:10.070 --> 00:37:14.449 vortex of Ilya's dad arriving into the conversation, 00:37:14.730 --> 00:37:17.349 you know? And it's just such a charged moment. 00:37:17.730 --> 00:37:21.230 And right after that, of course, Shane asks Ilya, 00:37:21.869 --> 00:37:25.349 everything okay with your dad and unlike the 00:37:25.349 --> 00:37:29.210 last time where shane attempts to ask and is 00:37:29.210 --> 00:37:32.349 like completely shut down both physically and 00:37:32.349 --> 00:37:36.130 verbally he embraces shane and to me that is 00:37:36.130 --> 00:37:38.610 actually comfort like yeah you know sometimes 00:37:38.610 --> 00:37:40.889 you don't want to talk about it with your partner 00:37:40.889 --> 00:37:43.630 and your partner's like but i'm not gonna leave 00:37:43.630 --> 00:37:46.880 you i'm still gonna stay by you yeah And then, 00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:50.559 you know, Shane's on his chest. And then they 00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:53.480 have the frauding scene. This is Shane's way 00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:56.159 of comforting him through that because now sex 00:37:56.159 --> 00:37:59.780 is saying everything emotionally that they can't. 00:37:59.780 --> 00:38:03.860 Shane somehow recognized that Ilya is not pushing 00:38:03.860 --> 00:38:07.420 me away after I'm trying to get into this territory 00:38:07.420 --> 00:38:10.800 of Russia and father and family. And then he 00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:14.590 reciprocates. by having this intense sex where 00:38:14.590 --> 00:38:17.550 they're facing each other. And he takes control. 00:38:17.949 --> 00:38:20.789 Shane starts the encounter, right? Shane starts 00:38:20.789 --> 00:38:23.929 grabbing him and Shane starts the kissing. Ilya 00:38:23.929 --> 00:38:27.570 looks to me like totally unraveled. There's no 00:38:27.570 --> 00:38:30.469 pretense of like the suaveness. Like what you 00:38:30.469 --> 00:38:34.889 saw in Vegas was suave and sexy and stylized. 00:38:34.909 --> 00:38:37.670 I think that's the word we used last time. This 00:38:37.670 --> 00:38:41.800 is like completely unraveled, completely. unexpected. 00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.039 It's happening in broad daylight, like the sun 00:38:45.039 --> 00:38:49.900 is streaming in. It's so spontaneous and it followed 00:38:49.900 --> 00:38:53.539 a really emotional moment. One of the other things 00:38:53.539 --> 00:38:55.300 that happens in that background is that there's 00:38:55.300 --> 00:38:57.539 that partition right between the doors and it's 00:38:57.539 --> 00:39:00.900 like this shaking his hand and his whole body 00:39:00.900 --> 00:39:03.860 is shaking after he has that phone call. So you 00:39:03.860 --> 00:39:07.179 could tell that he's already kind of really wound 00:39:07.179 --> 00:39:10.780 up. And we don't see wound up emotionally. At 00:39:10.780 --> 00:39:12.619 least Shane doesn't see him very often, right? 00:39:12.739 --> 00:39:15.320 And of course, they say each other's names because 00:39:15.320 --> 00:39:18.739 there's no pretense anymore. And they're facing 00:39:18.739 --> 00:39:21.780 each other while they're having sex. And then 00:39:21.780 --> 00:39:24.800 they completely panic. These boys, they jump 00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:27.659 into this deep end. It's like they forgot they 00:39:27.659 --> 00:39:31.880 can't swim. And they haven't talked about it. 00:39:31.940 --> 00:39:33.980 They haven't planned for any of it. They're just 00:39:33.980 --> 00:39:38.099 planning. the next encounter without planning 00:39:38.099 --> 00:39:42.420 what does this mean ever. Because they can't 00:39:42.420 --> 00:39:45.760 plan what it means because they are trying actively 00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:49.880 to not have it be this. I know. More than anything, 00:39:50.099 --> 00:39:54.840 I think what the show gives us is just the deep 00:39:54.840 --> 00:39:58.880 pain that is created by these external structures. 00:39:59.420 --> 00:40:02.360 for no reason, right? Like, isn't it hard enough 00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:04.739 that maybe they can't figure their shit out because 00:40:04.739 --> 00:40:07.280 there are two people who don't have the emotional 00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.679 vocabulary yet. But on top of this, you layer 00:40:10.679 --> 00:40:13.420 this homophobia and the fact that you can't be 00:40:13.420 --> 00:40:16.260 gay. You can't be gay. You can't be bi. You can't 00:40:16.260 --> 00:40:18.500 be queer. You can't be any of these things. And 00:40:18.500 --> 00:40:21.900 you see how painful it is. They are trying not 00:40:21.900 --> 00:40:24.739 to be in love. They cannot help it. And you're 00:40:24.739 --> 00:40:28.260 like, why? What is the cause? The tuna mouth 00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:31.739 broke our collective hearts. But more than anything, 00:40:32.019 --> 00:40:35.260 I think that moment, even though it was so intimate 00:40:35.260 --> 00:40:38.360 between two people, was the moment that really 00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:42.900 was like, why? Why? Like, why are we doing this 00:40:42.900 --> 00:40:47.369 to kids like this? You know, to me, that. Was 00:40:47.369 --> 00:40:49.409 part of the heartbreak, too. As you're saying 00:40:49.409 --> 00:40:51.070 it, like, my heart hurts. I feel like I have 00:40:51.070 --> 00:40:54.289 a lump in my throat because, like, your why is 00:40:54.289 --> 00:40:57.130 so us collective, right? Your heart breaks for 00:40:57.130 --> 00:40:59.550 the two of them because you know how deeply they 00:40:59.550 --> 00:41:03.090 care about each other. And that whole scene at 00:41:03.090 --> 00:41:07.119 Ilya's apartment, it's like... So domestic, right? 00:41:07.219 --> 00:41:10.619 And as you said, between Vegas and this scene, 00:41:10.679 --> 00:41:12.320 what's happening? I mean, we do get the montage. 00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:14.460 You know that there's been multiple hookups throughout 00:41:14.460 --> 00:41:16.760 this time. And we know, based on the prologue, 00:41:16.760 --> 00:41:19.559 right, that they're getting closer to one another 00:41:19.559 --> 00:41:23.960 emotionally. And this moment is just so domestic. 00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:26.019 And that's where the narrative goes. Domestic 00:41:26.019 --> 00:41:29.440 intimacy. Being in Ilya's home makes the relationship 00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:33.179 feel more real. Ilya asking Shane to stay makes 00:41:33.179 --> 00:41:36.630 it more real. Shane asking about his dad makes 00:41:36.630 --> 00:41:39.530 it more real. You and I have slightly different 00:41:39.530 --> 00:41:42.570 interpretations of why Shane takes it from an 00:41:42.570 --> 00:41:45.559 emotional, soft... hanging out, hugging on the 00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:49.159 couch to sex. I thought that Shane was freaking 00:41:49.159 --> 00:41:52.159 out the entire time, starting with the stay to 00:41:52.159 --> 00:41:54.420 where Ilya says, do you like a tuna melt? You 00:41:54.420 --> 00:41:55.940 could see it in his face. He's like, what the 00:41:55.940 --> 00:41:58.760 fuck is going up? The entire time, his face, 00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:01.079 his eyes are just like, what is happening? So 00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:04.619 when Ilya takes him and pulls him in and starts 00:42:04.619 --> 00:42:08.539 smelling his hair, Shane is like, I don't know. 00:42:09.210 --> 00:42:13.070 This is not what we're used to. Let's have sex. 00:42:13.329 --> 00:42:16.409 Like, this is where I'm most comfortable. And 00:42:16.409 --> 00:42:18.809 because he was feeling it the entire time. Like, 00:42:18.829 --> 00:42:22.400 this is not. what we have been doing for the 00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:25.019 last six years we have been fucking and leaving 00:42:25.019 --> 00:42:27.800 we have never stayed you have never made me food 00:42:27.800 --> 00:42:31.019 you've never hugged me and smelled my hair and 00:42:31.019 --> 00:42:33.900 then of course it ends with the names and shane's 00:42:33.900 --> 00:42:36.420 like yeah that's it that i'm out like like that 00:42:36.420 --> 00:42:39.920 is exactly what i was trying to avoid and it 00:42:39.920 --> 00:42:43.670 has happened and my brain cannot handle it and 00:42:43.670 --> 00:42:46.429 I need to leave as soon as fucking possible. 00:42:46.690 --> 00:42:48.590 Everything you've said obviously rings true. 00:42:48.889 --> 00:42:51.090 And it's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. That 00:42:51.090 --> 00:42:52.769 scene is more heartbreaking than the we didn't 00:42:52.769 --> 00:42:55.809 even kiss, than Sochi, than... Because here you 00:42:55.809 --> 00:42:57.889 know that they're done for. Like, they are so 00:42:57.889 --> 00:43:00.829 in love. And now the denial is so much stronger 00:43:00.829 --> 00:43:03.789 than it has ever been. Because it has to be. 00:43:04.090 --> 00:43:06.510 Especially for Shane, because he has not come 00:43:06.510 --> 00:43:09.840 to terms with the fact that he's gay yet. I actually 00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:13.159 really like the contrast that we had in terms 00:43:13.159 --> 00:43:16.420 of why he started to try to. Right. Like the 00:43:16.420 --> 00:43:18.000 different point of view, because you can see 00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:20.400 it so many different ways. Yeah, you could. And 00:43:20.400 --> 00:43:23.659 that's really interesting. But at the end, it's 00:43:23.659 --> 00:43:25.559 right. It's like pure panic. It's pure panic. 00:43:25.699 --> 00:43:29.019 Remember, like Shane is already easily panicked 00:43:29.019 --> 00:43:32.340 in the book, actually. When Shane realizes he 00:43:32.340 --> 00:43:35.099 says his name, he says he looks down at Ilya 00:43:35.099 --> 00:43:39.099 and Ilya looked as horrified. as Shane was feeling. 00:43:39.380 --> 00:43:41.840 So, but in the show, it doesn't feel that way. 00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:44.480 Yeah. Like in the show, it feels much more like 00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:47.239 Ilya was like, okay with that. And he didn't 00:43:47.239 --> 00:43:50.360 understand temporarily why Shane freaked out, 00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:52.179 but then he obviously understood because he switched 00:43:52.179 --> 00:43:54.860 from Shane to Hollander twice thinking maybe 00:43:54.860 --> 00:43:57.880 that will deescalate him, but it didn't work. 00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:00.260 Hollander was so plaintive. He was begging him. 00:44:00.340 --> 00:44:03.239 Yeah. Like chill. Yeah. Like calm down. It's 00:44:03.239 --> 00:44:05.500 fine. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to say 00:44:05.500 --> 00:44:07.039 your name. I didn't mean to say your name, but, 00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:09.460 but. The way he said Hollander, you're like, 00:44:09.539 --> 00:44:12.880 he could have said Shane again. It's like the 00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:15.739 cat's out of the bag. He said Shane. Now he's 00:44:15.739 --> 00:44:18.000 trying to say Hollander, but he can't get back 00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:21.909 into it. You can't put that shit back into it. 00:44:22.130 --> 00:44:24.829 He can't get back to pretending the wall is still 00:44:24.829 --> 00:44:27.489 intact. The way he says Hollander in that moment, 00:44:27.630 --> 00:44:30.510 it's like a bookend to when he says Hollander 00:44:30.510 --> 00:44:33.849 at the end of episode one, when Shane walks away. 00:44:34.090 --> 00:44:35.610 He's like, what the fuck are you doing? We're 00:44:35.610 --> 00:44:37.469 both in tuxedos. Like, why are you kissing me 00:44:37.469 --> 00:44:39.750 here? People can see us. And then Shane walks 00:44:39.750 --> 00:44:44.269 away. And Ilya says, same idea, Hollander. And 00:44:44.269 --> 00:44:47.750 like, it's like he's trying to bring him back. 00:44:47.769 --> 00:44:51.650 back over because that kiss at the end of episode 00:44:51.650 --> 00:44:56.550 one was hungry like we need this like so hungry 00:44:56.550 --> 00:45:00.340 and Shane realizes that and Shane also freaks 00:45:00.340 --> 00:45:02.639 out a little bit there and walks away, you know, 00:45:02.639 --> 00:45:05.760 and Ilya also says Hollander. So that those two 00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:08.639 scenes are very like mirroring to me. I always 00:45:08.639 --> 00:45:10.880 think it's interesting that you talked about 00:45:10.880 --> 00:45:14.760 control and Shane's always controlling the eventual 00:45:14.760 --> 00:45:17.960 path of this relationship. I never get the sense 00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:21.239 that Ilya would ever say no to Shane. Shane says 00:45:21.239 --> 00:45:24.179 that all the time about Ilya. They say it about 00:45:24.179 --> 00:45:27.360 each other, but actually. I think for Ilya, like, 00:45:27.420 --> 00:45:30.099 he'll always come back. Oh, yeah, 100%. That's 00:45:30.099 --> 00:45:32.599 what happens. But Shane is the one who puts the 00:45:32.599 --> 00:45:36.340 kibosh, right? He stops it now. Yep, yep. He 00:45:36.340 --> 00:45:39.519 stops it at Tuna Melt. He has had that control 00:45:39.519 --> 00:45:42.639 the whole time. Yep, yep. He probably didn't 00:45:42.639 --> 00:45:44.599 realize it, but yeah. He doesn't, he doesn't. 00:45:44.679 --> 00:45:47.679 And when he restarts it, it's on his terms again. 00:45:48.179 --> 00:45:52.849 Yep, yep. Which is why I think the... the subtlety 00:45:52.849 --> 00:45:56.409 of it being Shane's point of view that is in 00:45:56.409 --> 00:45:59.929 Heated Rivalry to me comes out in the show. And 00:45:59.929 --> 00:46:02.989 even in the book, it's two points of view, right? 00:46:03.090 --> 00:46:06.989 Like it's Shane and Ilya. Yeah. It always feels 00:46:06.989 --> 00:46:10.090 more like it's Shane's point of view. Yeah. He's 00:46:10.090 --> 00:46:12.650 driving the narrative often. We don't see sex. 00:46:13.400 --> 00:46:15.900 in episode five right at all like after tuna 00:46:15.900 --> 00:46:18.199 meltdown we don't see sex for a while until the 00:46:18.199 --> 00:46:21.219 cottage uh there's implied sex obviously after 00:46:21.219 --> 00:46:23.280 they finally have their conversation where they 00:46:23.280 --> 00:46:26.679 confess to one another in in tampa bay the intimate 00:46:26.679 --> 00:46:29.860 moment of hugging one another the obviously post 00:46:29.860 --> 00:46:32.059 sex when shane is about to leave and ilia tests 00:46:32.059 --> 00:46:34.699 him and said good night shane right and then 00:46:34.699 --> 00:46:37.099 he's like i know what the fuck you're doing good 00:46:37.099 --> 00:46:40.199 night ilia that sex that we don't get that obviously 00:46:40.199 --> 00:46:43.130 pushes the narrative forward to them being more 00:46:43.130 --> 00:46:45.730 emotionally open with one another. And then, 00:46:45.730 --> 00:46:48.489 you know, then we get the Skype conversation, 00:46:48.769 --> 00:46:51.949 which we also assume is going to be sex because 00:46:51.949 --> 00:46:53.489 he's like, put on your glasses, take off your 00:46:53.489 --> 00:46:55.730 shirt, make me feel better. It also drives the 00:46:55.730 --> 00:46:57.690 narrative further in terms of having this emotional 00:46:57.690 --> 00:47:00.789 intimacy because Shane, he's the one driving 00:47:00.789 --> 00:47:02.610 the narrative. Now that he's comfortable with 00:47:02.610 --> 00:47:05.289 himself, he reaches out to Ilya, asks for the 00:47:05.289 --> 00:47:07.949 room number. He is now pushing that. forward 00:47:07.949 --> 00:47:10.170 shane had to get there on his own because he 00:47:10.170 --> 00:47:13.909 has to reconcile his identity as a gay yeah that's 00:47:13.909 --> 00:47:16.750 the first thing the only way the first step yeah 00:47:16.750 --> 00:47:20.320 absolutely and then You know, the last sex scene. 00:47:20.340 --> 00:47:22.599 Taking us to the cottage. I'm taking us to the 00:47:22.599 --> 00:47:25.500 cottage, right? I'm finishing us off. You're 00:47:25.500 --> 00:47:27.880 finishing us off. I'm finishing us off. Your 00:47:27.880 --> 00:47:32.079 orgasm better be as good as Shane's. But yeah, 00:47:32.139 --> 00:47:35.760 like the only other actual intimate physical 00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:39.289 scene we get in the cottage is. Post, I love 00:47:39.289 --> 00:47:43.170 you. We have in the cottage an obviously completely 00:47:43.170 --> 00:47:46.630 different shift and tone. They're in the daylight. 00:47:46.730 --> 00:47:51.130 They are experiencing this intimacy without the 00:47:51.130 --> 00:47:54.250 urgency of time limits, like the secrecy temporarily. 00:47:55.099 --> 00:47:57.079 goes away, right? Because they're still protected 00:47:57.079 --> 00:47:59.519 by the cottage. It moves the narrative almost 00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:02.039 toward like a resolution, right? Because they're 00:48:02.039 --> 00:48:06.159 finally fully both able to say what they wanted 00:48:06.159 --> 00:48:09.599 to say for years. And they're able to be emotionally 00:48:09.599 --> 00:48:14.840 honest. And they are seeing a life, the potential 00:48:14.840 --> 00:48:18.579 of a life that feels sustainable and possible. 00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:21.980 And that is it. That is the emotional finale, 00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:25.820 the grand finale of the sex intimacy scenes throughout 00:48:25.820 --> 00:48:30.820 the show and the novel. You know, I have a slightly 00:48:30.820 --> 00:48:33.679 different interpretation of the life they're 00:48:33.679 --> 00:48:36.760 envisioning. First of all, the fact that David 00:48:36.760 --> 00:48:40.460 walks in on them was like a gift to them because 00:48:40.460 --> 00:48:43.690 honestly, it really. pulls more people into this. 00:48:43.789 --> 00:48:46.010 I understand why the secrecy is there, but now 00:48:46.010 --> 00:48:48.769 it pulls people in. They have a support system. 00:48:48.849 --> 00:48:51.570 They desperately need a support system. Desperately. 00:48:51.929 --> 00:48:54.690 Desperately, right? Like, Ilya needs a family. 00:48:54.989 --> 00:48:57.750 Shane needs his family to know they need this. 00:48:58.210 --> 00:49:01.550 To me, it was more like, I don't know if they 00:49:01.550 --> 00:49:06.230 saw a future yet, but I feel like they're seeing 00:49:06.230 --> 00:49:10.969 themselves, at least, honestly. They're like, 00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:13.780 I have feelings for you. You have feelings for 00:49:13.780 --> 00:49:17.500 me. We love each other. And then David walking 00:49:17.500 --> 00:49:23.480 in kind of makes it real. I don't know when Shane 00:49:23.480 --> 00:49:26.199 would have come out to his parents. I don't know, 00:49:26.199 --> 00:49:28.579 actually. Who knows? Who knows, right? Yeah. 00:49:28.880 --> 00:49:32.320 Right? And that, I think, the combo of I love 00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:35.519 you and then Shane just being like... OK, I have 00:49:35.519 --> 00:49:37.719 to come out to my parents. There's no choice. 00:49:38.019 --> 00:49:41.000 There's no choice. I think that combo actually 00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:44.079 gives them a sense of future because we know 00:49:44.079 --> 00:49:48.980 Yuna being who she is. She is planning. She's 00:49:48.980 --> 00:49:51.760 more of a planner than Shane is because she also 00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:54.719 has like that emotional wherewithal because she's, 00:49:54.719 --> 00:49:58.949 you know, a mom. And a woman. Like we said, they 00:49:58.949 --> 00:50:02.349 need a woman. They do. They all do. And Yuna's 00:50:02.349 --> 00:50:04.289 going to fix it all up. No. I just don't know 00:50:04.289 --> 00:50:05.949 when Shane would have come out to his parents, 00:50:06.090 --> 00:50:08.250 honestly. Yeah. And he needed to. I think Shane, 00:50:08.309 --> 00:50:11.969 it will take Shane a long time to do anything. 00:50:12.070 --> 00:50:14.809 He needs to be pushed, possibly accidentally, 00:50:14.929 --> 00:50:17.130 to get there because otherwise he will just be 00:50:17.130 --> 00:50:20.710 scared forever. Yep. I agree. But I do agree 00:50:20.710 --> 00:50:24.949 that Ilya is seeing. Yeah, absolutely. Well, 00:50:25.070 --> 00:50:27.969 that's that. TBD. Let's see what happens. I mean, 00:50:27.989 --> 00:50:31.869 I can talk about sex all day forever. Yeah, I 00:50:31.869 --> 00:50:34.150 think you and I could probably do another hour 00:50:34.150 --> 00:50:37.349 here. But unfortunately for us and our listeners, 00:50:37.570 --> 00:50:40.320 we must end. The time has come. To close out 00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:43.199 the episode with our moments of sunshine. So 00:50:43.199 --> 00:50:45.380 Diana, what's your moment of sunshine for this 00:50:45.380 --> 00:50:48.539 week? We planned this day in Philly yesterday 00:50:48.539 --> 00:50:53.239 and we went to the Ministry of Awe in Old City. 00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:57.059 And then we went to an amazing Thai restaurant, 00:50:57.199 --> 00:51:00.559 which I'm dreaming about. The Ministry of Awe 00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:03.000 is so much fun. It's like a police touch for 00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:04.719 adults, like police touch museum for adults. 00:51:05.130 --> 00:51:07.929 We like literally just played in this museum 00:51:07.929 --> 00:51:11.690 for hours yesterday. A great time. So awesome. 00:51:11.889 --> 00:51:13.969 It's right in Old City and it's perfect because 00:51:13.969 --> 00:51:15.869 you could like walk around the city after. And 00:51:15.869 --> 00:51:18.130 then we went to a Thai restaurant. It's called 00:51:18.130 --> 00:51:21.210 Grandma's Philly. It is absolutely delicious. 00:51:21.429 --> 00:51:23.949 We ordered everything on the menu. We ate everything 00:51:23.949 --> 00:51:26.469 on the menu. It was a gloomy day, but we had 00:51:26.469 --> 00:51:29.789 so much fun. We brought our own sunshine into 00:51:29.789 --> 00:51:33.539 the city and had. The best day. Honestly, it 00:51:33.539 --> 00:51:36.980 was the best day. So that's my sunshine. Time 00:51:36.980 --> 00:51:39.820 in Philly, playing and eating delicious food 00:51:39.820 --> 00:51:43.119 with our friends. Yeah, I have a little bit of 00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:45.800 FOBO. You weren't there. I was not there for 00:51:45.800 --> 00:51:48.679 this one. My moment of sunshine is my best friend 00:51:48.679 --> 00:51:52.920 and our kids. Four of our five kids all have 00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:55.699 birthdays that cluster around the last three 00:51:55.699 --> 00:52:01.769 weeks. So we had a family party for. kind of 00:52:01.769 --> 00:52:05.030 celebrating all of them at her place. And she 00:52:05.030 --> 00:52:10.110 has identical twins who turned three. And my 00:52:10.110 --> 00:52:14.050 favorite part about the whole thing was watching 00:52:14.050 --> 00:52:17.889 my babies be with slightly smaller babies. And 00:52:17.889 --> 00:52:23.469 it was just so adorable how sweet they were with 00:52:23.469 --> 00:52:27.380 the little babies and the babies. They're now 00:52:27.380 --> 00:52:31.039 aware that they can talk and they talk constantly. 00:52:31.199 --> 00:52:36.119 There's now one period of silence, not one moment 00:52:36.119 --> 00:52:38.420 of silence until they fall asleep. They're just 00:52:38.420 --> 00:52:42.800 talking to each other and to us. And so they 00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:46.579 sang this song that my daughter made me sing 00:52:46.579 --> 00:52:50.030 to her. at bedtime yesterday, which is essentially, 00:52:50.110 --> 00:52:53.030 this is the way we wash our hair, wash our hair, 00:52:53.110 --> 00:52:55.409 wash our hair. This is the way we wash our hair. 00:52:55.489 --> 00:52:59.210 You look great. And that's how the twins sing 00:52:59.210 --> 00:53:02.630 it. They say it so emphatically. They go, you 00:53:02.630 --> 00:53:06.789 look great. Absolutely. And they stop there. 00:53:06.909 --> 00:53:11.230 And it's like, the end. So cute. The end. You're 00:53:11.230 --> 00:53:15.800 like, okay. And they sang it so many times. My 00:53:15.800 --> 00:53:18.739 daughter made me sing it to her at bedtime and 00:53:18.739 --> 00:53:21.860 the babies were all laughing and it was really 00:53:21.860 --> 00:53:25.949 the best. So if I had to miss. Amazing Thai food 00:53:25.949 --> 00:53:29.110 and a lovely day in Philly with the girls. I 00:53:29.110 --> 00:53:31.789 am so glad I did it for those. Yeah. I mean, 00:53:31.789 --> 00:53:34.130 that's cute. Very cute. We did miss you, but 00:53:34.130 --> 00:53:36.690 I'm glad you had a good time without us. So with 00:53:36.690 --> 00:53:39.309 the three -year -old twins. Next week on Everyone 00:53:39.309 --> 00:53:41.889 Deserves Sunshine, Anusha and I are closing out 00:53:41.889 --> 00:53:44.630 the season. We're just going to talk about our 00:53:44.630 --> 00:53:48.469 podcast, our thoughts for next time, and just 00:53:48.469 --> 00:53:52.219 each other and our company. Reminisce. It's a 00:53:52.219 --> 00:53:53.860 reminiscing podcast. Yeah, reminiscing. And so 00:53:53.860 --> 00:53:55.780 subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts. 00:53:56.159 --> 00:53:57.599 And if you want to say hi to the girls in the 00:53:57.599 --> 00:54:00.360 crease, find us on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads 00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:03.260 at EveryoneDeservesSunshine. Or you can email 00:54:03.260 --> 00:54:06.500 us at EveryoneDeservesSunshine at gmail .com. 00:54:06.619 --> 00:54:09.780 New episodes drop on Mondays. See you then.