Welcome to Everyone Deserves Sunshine. I'm Diana.
And I'm Anusha. We're the girls in the crease.
So last week, we did say we were gonna talk about
hockey, but it's Mother's Day this week. Yeah,
I remember this on about Friday. So we're switching
it up because as many of you have learned, we
don't really care about rules anymore, ever,
really. Yeah, so we're just gonna - Why start?
Surprise! This episode is not about hockey. It's
about moms. But - We will talk about hockey next
week, so stay tuned for our hockey aficionados,
of which I am now one, Diana, as you know. You
really, really are. This girl is texting me all
week long about the Flyers, and she's really
into it. You're really into it. I'm very into
it. I've looked up a lot of stuff. Things like
the Flyers power play statistics. Fun fact, they
are not very good at power plays, which was demonstrated
last game. Diana's shaking. I don't know what
a power play is, but in my mind, I am very good
at it. So, you know. Yes, you are. But anyway.
Okay. So Mother's Day episode, Anusha and I would
like to wish. Everyone listening, a happy Mother's
Day. We know that this holiday can hold a lot
of different emotions for different people. For
some, it's joyful and celebratory. For others,
it could feel complicated and painful and bittersweet
and perhaps even very heavy. So before we begin,
we just want to acknowledge all of that. We're
thinking about people celebrating. Mother's Day.
We're also thinking about people who are grieving
the mothers they have lost, people who have perhaps
strained or complicated relationships with their
moms, people who had to grow up without moms
or without the nurturing of a mom that they deserved,
people who long to be mothers, who wanted children
and couldn't have them, people who are mothers
in every way except biologically, right? And
then all those people carrying the invisible
grief today while everyone around them may be
posting you know flowers and brunch photos so
we just wanted to say that yeah motherhood is
complicated to say the least I constantly feel
this way it has given both a sense of understanding
of my own mother but also sometimes you fall
into the cycle of acting like your own mom but
also being like I don't want to be like my mom
so it's very complicated yeah For sure. Thanks
for saying that, Diana. Yeah, like, listen, and
I think that's part of why we wanted to do this
episode, right? Especially this weekend, because
you and I are moms and we have moms and we both
have different relationships with our moms. My
mom, we actually just came back from going shopping
together and she kept on trying to buy me a gift
for Mother's Day. And I'm like, it's not, I'm
not your mother, mother. She's like, but I still
want to get you something. I'm like, I don't
think you understand how Mother's Day works.
So anyway, so happy Mother's Day to all. Speaking
of, do you have any plans this weekend for Mother's
Day? Yeah, actually, the kids are taking me to
their favorite restaurant. Wait, their favorite
restaurant? Of course. It's called Select Pizza.
It's a very strange restaurant. The menu can
only be described as everything. Exactly. There
is no rhyme or reason. It is their favorite place.
And so that's what I'm doing. What are you doing?
I don't have any plans. I always say to my family
to leave me alone for Mother's Day and let me
just be if I want to spend all weekend in bed.
That is my prerogative. The only plan is that
I want them to do is to feed me. So like I. I
need breakfast, lunch and dinner served on Mother's
Day. And I don't want to think about it. Like,
I don't want to be like, this is what I want.
Like, I don't want my husband to come and say,
what would you like to eat? That is not that
is not something I want to do. No, it is not
a gift. I want them to know me well enough by
now that they know what I would enjoy in the
morning, in the afternoon and in the evening.
So next week, I will tell you if my Mother's
Day was good or bad. So you just want someone
to take away the mental load, which I completely
understand. I don't think that will happen tomorrow
for me personally. I'm sure I will be rounding
up my little kids to try to make this brunch
reservation on time. Oh, you actually have a
reservation? Yes, because it's Mother's Day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It will not be. Mental
load free. As we were going to bed yesterday,
I said, it's Mother's Day weekend. That means
I am unavailable for emotional regulation or
for discussion of any kind, anything that requires
emotional labor. I'm unavailable for all of those
things this very weekend. You are out of office.
I am mentally and emotionally out of office.
And for all the moms out there, I hope the same
for you. Yes. The greatest gift of all. The greatest
gift of all. Okay, Anusha, let's get into our
conversation about the moms of heated rivalry.
Yes, yes. This is episode 17, Moms. Well, I think
we need to give another disclaimer. It's not
a happy episode because moms of heated rivalry,
and that is very complicated and kind of sad.
discussion. So if you're not in the mental state
of listening to today's episode, we get it. We
forgive you. But perhaps do listen to it eventually.
Like maybe when you have more fortitude. Right.
Exactly. Yeah. So I think it is important to
give that disclaimer because we're going to jump
into Ilya's mom right now. Mom in absentia is
what I call it. feel her presence as much as
her absence right right exactly exactly and like
motherhood and the absence of it shapes people
in profound ways sometimes beautifully and sometimes
very painfully and actually most of the time
like a mix of both one of the most you know,
interesting and heartbreaking things about Ilya's
character is how deeply he has been shaped by
the loss of his mom, which we don't really even
know until the very end of the show, right? We
know that she's not there, but we don't know
why she's not there. And so she's... Definitely
not present, but her absence echoes through everything
he does and his thoughts, the way he loves, the
way he performs. Even the way he like feels abandonment
and then the way he turns himself into someone
unforgettable so no one leaves him again. And
also the way he protects his internal self from
hurt. This like fortress of emotions that he
will not. open and i think that's what makes
him such a like powerful character too his story
in some way um is about like the lifelong impact
of losing your mother's love at such a young
delicate age right because like you know mothers
are for many of us are your first emotional home
um Frequently the people who like teach you safety
and comfort and like regulation, like emotional
regulation. Right. And like unconditional love
and attachment. I think especially and, you know,
especially for boys right before adolescence.
Right. Like he lost his mom when he was 12. Mothers
are often the last like play softness is still
permitted before the world starts like demanding
them to perform, you know, this like. masculinity
and toughness before the world tells you that
like vulnerability is not okay like that it's
dangerous like you know how ilia like anytime
he becomes vulnerable and like he starts crying
he always apologizes for it right because like
the world told him that's not cool like you don't
cry men don't cry boys don't cry right and so
he loses his mom right as he reaches the age
when he needs her most and you know around like
12 is when like boys you know between like i
would say like 11 and 13 that's when like many
of them start hitting puberty. It's like one
of the most emotionally vulnerable, developmental.
periods of their time. And while at the same
time, they're also being taught to hide their
vulnerability. It's a very vulnerable time, but
you're not allowed to show it. Right. And so
that's when you're also starting to form an identity,
who you are as a person. I could see it with
my son, who is 12 right now. So it's like very,
it's in my face, you know, like I could see him
and I could see what the world is telling him
and I could see what I'm telling him. And those
two things are often incongruent. And no matter
how hard I'm just like, no, like you're going
to remain soft. You are going to remain this.
sweet boy and you're going to treat people the
same way and you're going to let your other friends
know that it's OK to be the sweet boy. I can
tell that the world's like, no, you can't be
that way. They're telling him like what kind
of a man you're supposed to be at this age. And
for Ilya, I don't want to say it, but like for
Ilya, like he doesn't have me, you know, who's
like telling him like, no, it's OK for you to
be vulnerable. Right. In fact, that he has like
a dad who's who's even telling him like worse,
like the opposite. It's also the time when they
start to feel out of shame about. who they are
and what they are and what they might feel. And
for Ilya, the person who could have helped that,
you know, is gone. He behaves and acts like someone
who learned very young that love could just poof
and like disappear. Losing maternal safety emotionally
is definitely, that's what makes Ilya who he
is. But that's, I think that's part of the reasons
why I feel for him so much because like children
don't stop needing that love just because the
mom is not there you know they they just like
adapt to the absence of it and they build their
personalities and identity around it and we've
talked about identity a lot and and he becomes
like funny and charismatic and successful mostly
because they learn to rely on themselves more
than anyone else and Ilya had to because He's
not relying on his dad for anything. When his
needs are not met, he meets his own needs, basically.
Like, he's forced to do that. You were right.
In this show, you don't really hear very much
about Ilya's mom until the end. But there is
that moment, and I didn't catch it until rewatches,
where he says, this is for you, mama, when he
wins the cup. sense oh my god he's been thinking
about her winning this for her yeah this whole
time at least that was a sense like God, because
it was such an uninhibited moment of joy. And
the first thing he says is, this is for you,
mama. He doesn't say his dad or anything. He
really just says, this is for you. And he's crying.
He's screaming and crying when he says it. And
it's actually one of the first moments he's been
super emotional, right? Like unguardedly emotional.
And the first thing he says is his mama. And
then you think about all that you've said, like
he lost her at this. age of complete vulnerability.
He's transitioning from boyhood to the start
of, you know, the cusp of manhood. And then you
realize why he is the way he is, like why he's
actually so deeply caring. I've always thought
like, well, how did Ilya turn out to be so different
from his brother? Right. And you realize not
only has he lost his mom, he's lost the softening
influence. That was present. And she was that.
I mean, not every mom is the kind of mom that
a child needs. That child and that mom need to
fit. But you could tell that for him, this was
the mom that he needed. This is the influence
that saved him. Actually, the soft place that
you're describing for your son, she was that
for him. And in some ways, that fortress that
he constructed around his emotions, is the protective
effect of his mom. This is something I also didn't
realize on my first watch. But, you know, the
hallway scene right after they have sex for the
first or intercourse for the first time, Shane
asks him, like, is your family coming? Right.
They're having that Olympics conversation. And
he's like, my dad, probably my brother, maybe.
And then that's it. Shane doesn't follow up.
What about your mom? And that's the first time
you're supposed to understand that mom is. not
in the picture for whatever reason you don't
really know and then later in that episode when
he is with his dad he says mom's dead remember
and so like you you know that she died But you
don't you don't really have the context or, you
know, did she die in childbirth? Because that
is also a different, you know, different thing.
Right. Like different effect on. But 12 years
old, man, that's that's rough, you know. And
and I think that's why like Shane matters so
much within this context, too, because, you know,
he in many ways like gives Ilya that softness
and that like emotional safety. I would assume
that like that's what attracted. Ilya to Shane
because he saw the softness he saw the the vulnerability
that Shane has that he tries very much to hide
both of them try very much to hide like he he
Shane becomes like that place for him that is
like his emotional anchor that he lost at such
a formative age um and and and that kind of safety
could also be overwhelming, which is why he's
constantly like questioning himself, right? Like,
does he like me? Does he not? You know, I like
him way more. I'm going to end this. Like, he's
always wanting to end this, mostly probably because
he knows this is a bad idea in the world of hockey
culture and everything else, but also possibly
because he's afraid to lose another person he
loves, right? In that same way. First of all,
I highly doubt with... the father that he has,
he would have been allowed therapy or another
person to process grief, to process the fact
that he found his mother dead. I mean, those
are all like incredible, incredible traumatic
events that he probably was not allowed to process.
The grief of the loss, probably not allowed or
given the tools to process the horror of being
the one to find her. It's like he had no tools
at 12 years old to figure out how to deal with
the biggest grief of his life. Then you think
about, of course, he's locked in tight. Right.
Not only does he have to protect himself, he
also has no idea how to deal with emotional havoc
and loss at all. Like you said, like he doesn't
know. He doesn't know how to deal with that.
No, he doesn't. And since we just did the book
versus show, I have the book right next to me.
So I pulled up the page because the book offers
a little more. Right. So I just wanted to read
this. Shane asked, how did she die? An accident,
he said sardonically. He said it because that
was what his father had told everyone. It was
what Ilya had been told very sternly, even though
he had known it wasn't true, even at the age
of 12. She had an accident, Ilya. You understand?
Yes. An accident, Shane asked. His hand was on
Ilya's arm. Yes. Ilya said with a tight, humorless
smile, she accidentally swallowed a whole bottle
of pills. Oops. He actually says oops in the
book, which I think is like a very, I don't know,
almost like adds like an additional layer of
sadness to that sentence, right? It's very dark
humor. And when I say humor, it's because he
knows that's not what happened. And he's not
just been told. to think that but he's also been
told not to tell like that's the rest right don't
think it don't say anything to anybody yes yes
and and he actually says that he said that he
has never shared that with anyone before i found
her because shame there's a sense of shame right
exactly exactly and then he said and i actually
speaking of shame becoming his emotional support
human you know but he says he just wanted to
hold shane close to him in this place where no
one would ever find them he wanted to stand in
the spotlight of the campfire under the endless
stars and feel shane's fingers stroking his hair
and not think about his horrible father or his
wonderful desperately sad mother there's something
like so deeply russian about the framing of this
i mean i mean you probably can speak to it but
i'm just thinking of my understanding of russian
the great russian books and this idea that it's
like there's tragedy like just lurking you know
around the corner and this wonderful desperately
sad woman who probably was so much like ilia
in the softness you know and it was stamped out
of her i i you know and another thing is that
even when he had her And she was, his softness,
she was obviously very depressed, right? So like
he had also probably been aware of that on some
level, even as a young kid. Clearly he knew because
he says it, you know, she was so funny and beautiful
and she was so sad, right? So he knew that she
was sad. And I think in some ways they were probably
each other's safety, even when he was such a
little boy. you know, safety and vulnerability.
That's really hard for a child to hold that.
It's nobody's fault. It's not, you know, his
mom's fault. No, of course not. No, of course
not. But he's a very intuitive child. We talk
about him being so like locked tight. Yeah. But
he's so emotionally intuitive, right? He is.
He is. It's probably because of his mom. And
I had read on threads, this was like months ago
when, you know, the show first came out. Someone
wrote this thing about like, I bet Ilya understood
Shane's panic attacks and how to regulate him
because he had to deal with that with his mom.
And I was like, you assholes. Stop putting this
in my head. But maybe maybe like he very keenly
observed Shane and understands like, oh, this
kid is not OK. Right. And like, again, they what
they were like 19 or something or 20, even not
even probably at that time. another person and
being like oh I think you're having a panic attack
like that is very intuitive and that's probably
partly because of the influence of his mom yeah
and nothing is sexier than having a panic attack
during sex because he's not just like whoa I'm
out of here dude you know what I mean he could
have just ran out which maybe most 19 year olds
would do right but he stayed back to kind of
hook up yeah I'm not dealing with this shit I'm
trying to get laid dude like I'm not gonna deal
with your emotional instability like come on
Exactly. Strings. All the strings, even then.
And here we go. We are back to the strings. Back
to the strings. But it just shows you how emotionally
intuitive he is, even though he holds his emotions
so close, which is really, Ilya, I think that's
kind of unfair. You're a deep feeler. You know,
I hope as the show moves forward that we get
to see more of that emotional. inside be shared
with Shane yeah I mean you know we don't spoil
here but the long game does does talk a lot about
that about his mom and the absence of her and
how Ilya processes that so yeah which I'm so
grateful actually because it's such a huge part
of him that you know obviously we don't get it
in this book but I'm interested to see how it
will play out in the show. Because I know what
it is, you know, I know how it's written, but
I'm interested to see how it's going to be. And
we trust Jacob Tierney with everything. So I'm
sure he will do it more than enough justice.
I think it's a really beautiful way to frame
this Mother's Day episode, right? Beautiful and
sad, obviously, you know, in that that motherhood
in Ilya's story exists less as a character and
more as a significant missing piece. ghost around
which his entire emotional life forms. And his
mother's love matters because losing her and
losing it changes the entire trajectory of, you
know, who he is forever. That's a beautiful way
to say it. This ghost that haunts him, like a
friendly, friendly, but desperately sad ghost
that haunts him, you know? So. Yeah. Let's talk
about Yuna, perhaps. I mean, we've talked about
her a lot, but I think there's still enough left
to say. So, yeah. And I will give you, I will
pass the baton to you because clearly you are
so much more in love with Shane Hollander than
I am. Okay. So I have to say, when we were sketching
out this episode, I was like, of course you'll
do Ilya. But, you know, I think there's two cultural
elements that are significant because your heritage
really speaks to the way Ilya processed grief
and his loss of a mother. I have to say I'm not
culturally from the same background as Yuna.
She's East Asian. I'm South Asian. But there's
so much of her that I relate to as the kind of
mom she is and the kind of heritage and background
she came from. If I had to pick a character who
was most similar to me, it would be Yuna. I feel
a lot of those pressures she feels to be this
model minority, clearly from her background and
the way she is, she's the mom that is the force,
right, in the family. Even though David was the
one who played hockey, she's the one who's like
completely immersed in it, probably because of
Shane. She's the one who propels his career forward.
She's the one who feels the deep sense of I want
to say shame and sadness when she realized that
she doesn't know her kid at all. And these are
all fears that I have, you know, from my own
background and sort of straddling these two worlds
of being Indian and being American and then being
Indian American. You carry those lessons with
you. You carry that mentality of an immigrant
coming in and you need to push. You need to go
forward. You need to be the best of the best.
In Shane's case, it was hockey. In my case, it
was education. Like there was no second. There's
only first. All of that was amazing because maybe
that's what I needed to live my potential. But
then. On the flip side, as you might be feeling,
you're like, at what cost did that occur? And
I just feel that very keenly with my own kids
who are very, who are young. But all the time
I'm like, oh my God, am I pushing? Am I not pushing
enough? I feel like I can never feel comfortable
like where I land. And a lot of that is the family
generational way that I was growing up. but also
trying to create something softer for my kids.
I love the way you describe your mom and watching
the show with her. And in some ways, I don't
think I've ever shown my honest, true self with
my mom, ever. She's just not ready to meet me
as myself. She meets me as the version of Anusha
that is Indian enough to still interact with
her. I don't want that for my kids. Like, I want
them to be their most honest self and not put
on a facade. And so I'm sure this was a lot of
what was going on with Yuna. And she ends up
still at the same place that probably she and
I both feared. And you're like, oh, my God, is
that the thing that they're going to be talking
about in therapy? It's kind of a joke, right?
But like, you're like, my God, is this the misstep
where they like start hiding themselves from
me? You know, that's the part about Yuna that
feels really relatable to me on a very deeply
personal level is that I'm constantly sort of
weighing that balance in my head. And in that
scene where she's contemplating his coming out
to her and. saying we suspected it could be the
case. And if she were me, I'd be like, if we
suspected and like, what was it about me that
made him not tell me? Right. What did I do wrong?
And that's where I live on a daily basis. So,
yeah. Not just you, girl. Yeah, that's a very
relatable mom feeling. Yeah, it's a very relatable
mom feeling for sure. And I'm sure you feel it
more because of your own relationship with your
own mom. Yuna feeling like a failure, even though
she thought she did everything right, is definitely
all moms. Hashtag all moms or most moms anyway.
I know we focus a lot about Yuna in this coming
out scene because it is one of the key moments.
of her arc in the show. But, you know, in the
beginning, we were talking about invisible labor
and sort of the mental load that mothers take
for the family, you know, and I think it's such
a double -edged sword because you end up taking
up all this guilt when things go wrong. But you're
also the reason. the family is propelled forward,
right? Like thinking about Yuna, you know, David,
I think I said, David is the one who plays hockey,
you know, but he's kind of. A very typical kind
of yin -yang that happens is like dad is low
-key and the fun one, right? Like he has the
time to talk about YouTube and all of that. And
we don't know very much about their relationship
or what their partnership looks like. But, you
know, it feels like that labor that she does,
which is essentially driving Shane's career,
you know, how much work that must have taken.
You know, like think. Think about your own kid,
like in sports, how much effort it takes as a
child for that to happen. And then to then understand
that the level of skill is more than normal.
And then to figure out what to do with it. I
mean, that's a lot of work, right? Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely. If you think about Yuna having this
like dual responsibility as a parent and the
manager. Right. Like she's deeply intertwined
in his career. And, you know, as you said, like
she started from the time he was a baby. Right.
And she propelled his career into the future.
She supports him. She advocates for him. She
protects him. And like she literally like. creates
the empire around him he's not he's not doing
that his job is to play and play well right like
her job is to manage all the relationships around
his contract deals his endorsement and everything
else like she she loves him so much but she also
manages him and like i don't you remember that
part where um i know what you're gonna say like
when he's like i don't want to be managed this
weekend right because like regardless the fact
that they have this beautiful very supportive
relationship and like Obviously, they do. Shane
loves her so, so much. Even when David catches
them, his, I think, deepest pain is, oh, my God,
my mom. Right. Remember, like my mom, like what's
going to happen there. Right. And she's not only
supporting him emotionally, which she has, but
she's also supporting him by carrying this invisible
mental load of his career, too. Right. And constantly
in the background, managing schedules, expectations,
his public image and whatever, you know, and
and also like. anticipating any problem that
may arise right which which is we do as moms
like we do that as moms and that's like that
mental invisible emotional labor that we carry
and in the spaghetti eating scene you see she
takes it on for ilia too you know what i mean
she's like okay now you're mine too you know
and she's planning for him too And I really,
really, really hope we get to see that relationship
flourish in the next season because Ilya hasn't
had a mom present in his life for a very long
time. Right. Because there is this complete opposite
experience between, you know, Ilya and Shane,
right? Ilya's experience with motherhood, we
know, you know, he grows up with like this absence
and emotional loss, whereas Shane grows up with
like almost like intense emotional support, you
know, like maybe even. Too much sometimes, you
know, because he's so worried about how she's
going to react to everything that he has done.
And it makes the contrast between kind of fascinating
too, right? Shane fears disappointing people
and Ilya fears losing people. Shane always has
someone who helps at least carry that emotional
weight around him. And then Ilya carries that
himself. Like he knows he has no one else. Their
identities are so different because of their
moms. Moms are key. I'm a sports mom. My son
plays soccer. My daughter does jujitsu. There's
a lot. Obviously, my husband's always there.
He's the one that's like taking them and driving
them and whatever else. But there's a lot of
like managing all of that around. And I'm not
raising an elite athlete either. So I'm not trying
to get sponsorships or whatever else. But if
that were the case, I would be the one doing
that. I know that for a fact. So go Yuna. Go
Yuna. You know, sometimes I feel like in the
managing mode, you lose sight. of uh what is
that saying the forest for the trees right like
um sometimes you're just so enmeshed in the scheduling
and then this thing and the next thing and what's
the next step that you forget that's the mental
load thing, right? Because like who has time
to do all of that and also be like, let me take
stock of the entire journey of motherhood and
see where I am. You know what I mean? Like it's
a very hard balance, I think. You know, when
your kid says something and it like stops you
in your tracks and you're like, oh, wow, like
I I was paying attention to the wrong thing.
Like my kid needed this, you know, something
simple. And I was planning. And that's. That's
partly why parents miss things too, right? And
that is true for everything, not just sports,
like managing their academics, right? We all
know that the school calendar most of the time
falls on the mom, right? Every freaking dress
-up day, every holiday, every volunteering role,
homeroom, classroom parents, mostly moms, right?
Like in education, moms are more involved than
dads. It's a generalization, but it is one for
a reason. But we... But because of that, you're
right, we do end up sometimes missing very crucial
parts of their emotional and social, perhaps,
struggles, you know, because we're so focused
on like, these are the things that need to be
done. Everything becomes like secondary, which
is bad. It's not good. But there's only so much
we can do and there's only so much of us. Right.
There's a YouTuber named Jeffrey Conway, and
he asks anytime he has celebrities in or anything,
he will always ask, now that you've played this
character and you've embodied this character,
what would you tell your character if you could,
or what advice would you give them? And he asked
the cast of Heated Rivalry, all of them, the
same question. And he asked Christina Chang.
And so her response was, I would tell Yuna that
he's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.
forgive yourself it's just gravy from here on
out and I and I would like to give that I would
like to give her advice for Yuna to all the moms
like forgive yourself for these types of things
that you in many many many many ways have no
control over yes Yuna said she she thinks she
failed in this like way but you know she's existing
within this hockey culture in this world and
and this was a miss like a big miss but Also,
it's not all on her. You know, like, it's not
all on the mom. It's not all on mom. It's not
all on you, Anusha. Like, you're not the only
one that influences your child, you know? David,
what are you doing? Get David. He's a good dad,
too. Are you crying out there, too? Right, right.
No one came out to David, either. Yeah. He didn't
come out to David either, right? Exactly. That's
very true. What a perfectly mom thing to feel
like the failure when there's also another partner.
And you're right. You know, it's not failure
is the fear, but it's not the reality. You're
right. There was something about the environment
that kept Shane from divulging. This aspect of
himself, it doesn't mean he was dishonest about
every aspect of himself. You could see how comfortable
they were as a family and how much love there
was. And then there's repair, too. This is like
my brain talking and not my heart. It's hard
for moms, and I'm sure you feel that, too. But
there's the repair, and she immediately starts
repairing. Right. Starting with saying, This
is not you. You have done nothing to Paul. This
is this is something about me. And I'm sorry.
That was a huge repair. You could just see the
tension drain out of Shane at that moment. He
needed her to say that. And he forgave her. He
really needed her to say that. You're right.
You can see it in his face. Yeah. He needed her
to say that. And she gave it to him. You know,
she gave him exactly what he needed. When he
came out. That's why it's a beautiful coming
out scene. Yeah. And listen, I'm sure she's going
to process this for a very long time, even though
he forgives her. You know, that's a big. big
thing to just like let go you know it just reminds
me of something like so silly like last night
we're having a really nice time you know we watched
a movie and it got late so it was almost midnight
and I was all right I was talking to my kid and
I was like go take a shower we're tired and we
just want to get to bed and at that point every
everybody's emotions start running high too especially
mine when I get tired and very cranky and so
my my 12 year old is just like stalling And finally,
like I lose it a little bit and I yell and I'm
like, just get in the shower, you know, and I
yell at him and I could hear in his voice. He
starts to tear up. He's like, I was just going
to ask. Like, apparently he was just going to
ask for something, you know, and I was just like
enough. And I heard it in his voice like cracking.
And I that that killed me. And I right away ran
to him and I was like, I'm so sorry. Like immediate
repair. You know, like, I'm so sorry. I'm so
sorry. I yelled like and I hugged him and like
I felt his. body just like relax because it got
real tense, you know, and sad, like the sadness
took over real quick. And I felt his body relax
immediately. I'm like, OK, like saved by my own
action slash horrible yelling at my kid, you
know, but we all have we all have that moment.
You know, you and I talk about it all the time.
Like we yell at our kid and then we feel awful
about it because we know we're the adults. We
should have been regulating our own emotions
better. But just like Christina Chang says, forgive
yourself. It's just going to be gravy from now
on. So just gravy. Yeah. OK, so you had that
happen with your son. I want to share something
that happened with my kid. So it was a rough
morning. Everyone had to get to things very early.
And my daughter is a lot like me in that she
is not an early riser and very grumpy, like a
little gremlin, which I also am a gremlin in
the mornings. overwhelmed um I just came back
to bed um and just lay down and went under the
covers and my son came up and just lay next to
me and he just said something like I get it you're
frustrated Emma it was so sweet because obviously
we We do something similar to him. Right. And
it was really sweet because, I mean, it was not
a great mom moment to be comforted by your child.
But then I thought, OK, maybe in some way created
an environment where my child has learned those
strategies from us. Yeah. Yeah. So like you're
you're great. Yeah, that's it. It's all gravy
from here. I'm done. You've done your job. Hats
off to you. Yeah, you're good to go. Good to
go. Good to go. Good to go. All right. So moms,
complicated moms and heated rivalry, I think
in so many ways, so relatable to all moms, because
even if we haven't walked those exact circumstances.
Those emotions, feeling depressed, feeling anxious,
feeling overwhelmed, feeling too soft for the
harshness of the world, feeling like you've failed
your kid. Even though you've done all you could.
Those are just really human emotions that, you
know, yeah, you could say all parents relate
to. But there's a very distinct mom flavor to
those emotions, I think. Yeah. And those feelings.
Well, listen. And that's our Mother's Day episode.
And that's our Mother's Day episode. You're welcome.
You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome,
fandom. But it's all gravy from here, moms. All
gravy. Yeah. Everything is going to be just.
Fine. You're doing a great job, moms. You're
doing a great job. All the moms that need to
hear it, including us. Including us. Anusha,
you're a great mom. And your children are lucky
to have you. All right. Let's talk about our
sunshine. Yes. Let's talk about our sunshine.
Do we have the same sunshine this week, potentially?
I don't know. Do we? Why don't you start? And
I'll let you know if it's also my sunshine. Okay.
So our beautiful friend, Tracy, gave us... This
amazing bracelet that is sunshine yellow and
has an inscription that reads, everyone deserves
sunshine. And it was the sweetest thing ever.
She got it for us when we hit 50 ,000. downloads
right but we are now at 70 000 so i hope she's
she's thinking of another present at this point
honestly a second one is is due it's due so that
it can be our sunshine for next week maybe right
exactly yeah tracy if you're listening um more
we need more stuff we're running out of sunshine
tracy we're running out of sunshine gifts exactly
so it is Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much,
Tracy. Thank you. We love you, Tracy. Well, that
is my sunshine too. So I'm just gonna. I'm just
going to attach myself to that one. So thank
you very much. Next week on Everyone Deserves
Sunshine, we're talking about hockey. And we're
actually going to talk about hockey this time.
Finally. Finally. I know you're so excited. I'm
so excited. So subscribe now wherever you get
your podcasts. And if you want to say hi to the
girls in the crease, find us on Instagram, Facebook,
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us at EveryoneDeservesSunshine at gmail .com.
New episodes drop on Mondays. See you then.